#absolutely do NOT think about the timeline i beg u

[crispyjenkins]

(AC wip) The Savage Price of Piety

it's desmond's deathday and i wrote like. 9,000 more words to this wip (first two parts here) last week and i want to brag about it, so happy deathday you wet bastard (mostly gen but with a surprise rarepair, time travel/reincarnation, found family, william miles’ a+ parenting, accidental subterfuge, desmond goes by miles mostly, inspired by study of flight by @esamastation but with a twist!, only somewhat historically accurate swears by which i mean probably not at all but leonardo had some Opinions alright) have some (three) chronological but scattered bits of scenes

  “Oh,” Claudia says as soon as she opens the door, seeing Ezio’s rather wretched expression, “you’ve figured it out, then.”

  “You could have told me,” he growls, following her into the entryway and closing the door behind himself. 

  Claudia scoffs, spinning on heel to lead the way further into the building for the kitchens. “I had one conversation with the boy, brother, I was hardly sure of it myself. Wait,” she halts and points a finger at him accusingly, “how did you figure it out?”

  Ezio, quite graciously he thinks, ignores the subtle insult to his intelligence. Sighing, he pushes back his hood before their mother sees him with it on indoors, and runs a hand over his beard. “I had Leonardo visit.”

  Claudia’s face slackens, before twisting into a rage that has Ezio stepping away warily.

  But she punches the wall instead of her brother, a shouted “Gods damn it!” echoing in the narrow space. Then she spins on her heel and hollers further into the residential part of the bordello, “Mother! We forgot about Leonardo!”

  Horrified by his sister and concerned for his mother’s current mental state, Ezio reaches out to put a hand on Claudia’s arm, but he doesn’t get the chance before Maria de' Auditore is shouting right back, “God damn it!”

  Grumbling, Claudia stomps down the hall and leaves a very confused Ezio hurrying to follow; she ignores all his pleas for explanation until she’s stomped into the kitchen, where their mother is pouring two very large glasses of wine, with very little water to cut down the potency. She passes one to Claudia silently, and then they both drink, though luckily they aren’t attempting to down it all at once.

  “I can’t believe we forgot the Maestro,” their mother mutters to herself as she comes over to kiss Ezio on both cheeks, before shoving the still mostly-full glass into his hands.

  “Forgot him for what?” Ezio wants to know, clutching the glass like a mother clutches a babe.

  “To test if Miles really is an Auditore.�� It’s said so flippantly, like it doesn’t affect Claudia at all, but she also collapses into one of two chairs at the little tea table under the largest window. Their mother takes the other, massaging her forehead and looking like she’s grieving their family all over again.

  It occurs to Ezio, as he moves to stand next to the table, that she probably is.

--

“It’s all up to you now, Seventeen.”

  Desmond opens his eyes to the dark of the dormitory, faint moonlight cutting over the floor between his bed and Nino’s, and he can’t bring himself to move — even to roll off his arm that is very much still asleep. 

  Clay still haunts him.

  Five hundred fucking years, and his current twenty-four besides, and that fucker still won’t leave him alone. If Desmond were not so familiar with what an actual Bleed feels like, he’d almost think Clay is stuck in his brain the same way as his ancestors. Thank fuck he stopped Bleeding Ezio’s memories and feelings, while still retaining much of the training.

  Fuck, time travel is so weird.

  Or, reincarnation? He’s not sure of much, but he’s sure he was dead, he’s sure he burned, and he’s sure that though his 15th century mother had affectionately called him [redacted], his name is Desmond Miles.

  Or just Miles, he supposes. Sue him, he panicked when Adele first approached him, and the best aliases are ones you know you’ll respond to, right? If only he’d have had the forethought to divorce himself from his... future family’s surname.

  It sounds different enough with an Italian accent that it hasn’t caused any problems, yet. Like making him flinch. Or snapping that he hasn’t been a Miles since he was sixteen.

  Granted, he still has no idea what he would go by instead. Altaïr and Conner would feel weird, while Sef or Darim are just a bit on the nose, and does he look like an Edward? Malik, maybe. His grandmother here, now, is actually from the Levant, so his skin is certainly dark enough that people wouldn’t be surprised by the name.

Except that feels almost akin to naming himself Leonardo.

--

  So instead, Leonardo spends every spare moment with his best friend, sometimes to brainstorm, sometimes to simply be there for him. It’s during one of these visits, he and Ezio once again observing the youngest assassins in the training ring, that he hears Miles laugh for the first time, and it’s as if ice water has been poured directly into his veins.

  Oh fuck. Oh Saints, oh Holy Father, oh fuck.

  “Leonardo?” Ezio asks quietly, head tilted towards him in concern, but Leonardo ignores him to stumble for the bannister to lean over it and stare down at Miles learning a little jig from Tullio, laughing all the while.

  He had only heard it once, truth be told, and it had been Salaí that had caused it, but even three years later, Leonardo remembers the laugh of Rodrigo Borgia’s sinister little shadow.

  Below, Miles doesn’t stop smiling, but his golden brown gaze yanks up towards Leonardo as if knowing his thoughts are about him. His eyes narrow, then widen slightly in realisation, and then he winces and looks away, which is all the confirmation Leonardo needs.

  Turning around, Leonardo grabs a confused Ezio by the arm and drags him from the training room, ignoring his protests until they find the nearest empty room.

  “Leonardo, what—?”

  “Romulus.”

-

[osamucide]

thinking abt bsd men after u leave a lipstick mark on their faceedd

this is an ages old ask but it really struck me today… anon you’re so right….

I know CHUUYA buys you the most expensive lipstick. He knows you don’t mind a decent drugstore lip if it means he doesn’t have to break the bank, but sometimes he can’t help himself—he loves to spoil you. He loves an autumny shade on you, one that almost matches his hair, but his favorite is that rich garnet Guerlain Rouge G, and he wears your $80 lipstick kisses all day like badges of honor. (He might even hairspray it a little so it doesn't sweat or rub off.) The last thing an enemy will see before Chuuya empties a clip in their skull is the deep red kiss mark you left on his jaw that morning before work <3

ANGO is not a shallow man, but I think he loves the old-money feel of having your lipstick marks all over him, especially near the corners of his mouth. Another one who won't hesitate to open up his wallet, I can see him seeking out velvety vintage lipsticks for you to smudge all over his shirt collar. He does hope that the pigment distracts from the blush dusting his face, though—no matter how many times you stain his pretty face, and no matter how hardnened of a gangster he is, he still gets all giddy and hot when you shower him in such affection. Might have to pull you into the nearest bathroom to see where the color looks stained elsewhere. . .

Your ever-enthusiastic NIKOLAI already thinks of your kisses as rewards, but this—oh, god, seeing the true red creme lipstick, the one you let him pick out, decorating the corners of his cheeks makes him absolutely glow. The gentle dot where you pecked the tip of his nose matches his aesthetic so well; he thinks he should go out like this all the time, you should do this every day, and he'll beg you for more, more lipstick kisses! Until you can hardly see an inch of his pale skin from the neck up. You'll just have to move to his hands next! It might look ridiculous, but he never feels more beautiful. How wonderful it is, he thinks, to be adored by you.

Now, BEASTZAI and his mental gymnastics. . .he'll flip the script in his mind and puff himself up with the notion that your lipstick kiss on his cheek is somehow another token of his ownership over you. After all, you're the only one he'd ever, ever, in a million years, allow close enough to his person to leave such a mark. He'll protest emptily about how it'll diminish his prestige in front of his subordinates, but it's not like they don't already know he's just as whipped for you as you are for him—and he knows this too deep down, so he won't move to wipe it off. In fact, he finds himself going out of his way to preserve it all day until evening when he's home and you can cover him in the other kind of kiss mark <3

And finally, I think canon timeline DAZAI would eat it up for the purest reasons of any of these men. Of course he'll tease you about it, lecture you playfully about how insatiable you are—you just have to let everyone know he's yours, huh? But, really, when he shuffles off to the bathroom and catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror with your tender kiss preserved on the arch of his cheekbone, tears threaten his lashline. He can't pull his eyes away from it. He won't cry, he can't fuck it up—but he lets his fingers hover over it, amazed at such concrete evidence of your love for him. He tries not to think about it too hard while he barges back out into the office where you've brought him lunch, half-singing, half-begging for more lipstick kisses on the beautiful face of your beloved boyfriend, please!

[nolovelingers]

Hi i love you headcanons sooo much 🫶 Do u think you would be able to them for Mindy! I love that girl so much🥹

MINDY M. MARTIN AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧

ೄྀ࿐ requested ! ˊˎ-

headcanons — // cw ! : fluff ,, fem!readers only ,, some nsfw at the bottom ,, brief mention of drinking & weed ,, no cw’s besides that really i luh this girl too 🫶

SFW !!

MINDY MEEKS MARTIN AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND . . . helped you realize just how important and cared for you really are in this world.

there is never a single day that goes by where she doesn’t remind you how much she loves you, holding your face with her hands as she just admires your features with a relaxed look in her eyes and a maladaptive smile.

she seriously never lets you forget it, whether it’s through words or small actions. she’s always expressing her affection in some subtle way.

her arm is always wrapped around you, behind your shoulders, hand on your hip or tucked warmly in your hands. she needs her own reassurance that you’re there by her side and aren’t going anywhere.

she’s a huge film fanatic and movies dates are an absolute must. she does enjoy horror but gets the slightest bit sensitive to it after all the ghostface attacks go down and while she’ll still engage in time to time it’s better for you to encourage her to turn on something more light hearted without saying the exact reason why. if you express you’re worried about her she’ll get defensive and only be determined to watch it more, later waking up in the middle of the night through vivid nightmares and breaking a cold sweat.

she’s big into marvel and will have *lighthearted* debates about it with you if you prefer dc, and if you’re clueless to the both of the fandoms you can expect her to force you to sit down and make you watch all the movies in the film timeline order.

she doesn’t own any of her own comics but has always wanted to get into them, so if you own any of your own, whether if it’s a whole collection to just a few you can expect her to be borrowing them from you constantly.

other than that she’s not a huge book reader, her patience short and hard to keep her attention span captured. she wouldn’t mind it if you ever read her to sleep though, your voice helps lure her into a calm rest.

makeouts are a must and one of her favorite things to do. she’s an extremely experienced kisser and knows exactly what she’s doing. they don’t have to lead to anything spicy but she just adores when your lips are on hers and could kiss you for hours.

saying she’s protective over you is an understatement, she’s extremely paranoid and suspicious of everyone around her and is constantly acting as your guard dog. she’s always making sure you have some sort of weapon on you when you go out and that you always remember the location of at least 2-3 exits around you no matter where you are.

she wants you to keep your location on 24/7. not cause she’s being a clingy or jealous girlfriend but she’s very afraid of something happening to you while she’s not there to help. she checks it almost every hour when she knows you’re out and will shoot a message to make sure you respond.

being close friends with chad is also a given. as much as she hates to admit it, her brother is one of her best friends and if you have his approval it just makes her love you so much more. she can never hide the smile that erupts on her face whenever she witnesses the both of you getting along or playfully teasing each other.

she ties your shoes for you when the laces come undone, opens cans or jars for you if you can’t (or if you get them done, when your nails are too long), has polaroids of you decorated along the walls of her bedroom, and will buy the both of you some form of matching thing. like a keychain, or a piece of jewelry.

she’ll randomly ask you to sign stuff, acting like you’re a celebrity as she teasingly begs for you to write your name on her backpack, a plain tee shirt she owns, the back of her hand, an old pair of shoes she owns, etc.

if you have a job she’ll find any excuse to come and visit you while you’re working, whether it’s by pretending to be a customer or just sneaking in to chat for as long as she could.

one of her favorite things is when you sit in her lap, facing her with one of your free hands practically petting her hair and her arms wrapped around your lower body, rubbing your back or resting her hands on your ass. once again, nothing sexual needs to come from it, she just honestly can’t resist the temptation of her hands wandering. if you’re not comfortable with it she’ll immediately stop and apologize.

and to correspond with this, she likes it when you sit in her lap but loves it when she lays in yours. your thighs are absolutely perfect, it literally doesn’t matter the shape, size or feeling of them shes obsessed with resting her head in your lap and there’s nothing you can do to stop her.

the both of you have a tendency to go to hot topic together and check out the couples jewelry. and she can’t resist going through the pins and sneaking a few she’d think you’d like in her back pocket. she’ll pay for everything else in the store but just doesn’t feel like paying so little for a cheaply made pin. but she loves putting them on her jackets, her backpack and her bags. she also gets so excited when she finds a particular one she’d think you’d like.

making each other a playlist is a must, and she has a problem where she just makes you a new one almost every other month. it’s a routine at this point and if she ever forgets or just doesn’t have the time to one month it gets you a bit sad, thinking maybe she’s finally lost interest. she’ll remember to do it the next time she opens her music app though.

she practically lives at your dorm/place at this point. if you live at the dorms you asked the school to make you a new key, pretending you lost yours, and then gave it to her. now she’ll come over all the time without even asking, send you a random text she was on her way over without discussing it first or that she was already at the door. sometimes you would come home after being gone for hours just to find her lounged on your couch; your snacks in her hands (and in her mouth) while watching a movie.

one of her favorite activities to do with you is to drink and just hang out. she gets very sappy, affectionate and when she drinks most of the time she doesn’t hold back since it’s not like a frequent thing. she likes to get blackout and you’re forced to take care of your girlfriend; who has now become a koala bear as she drunkenly holds onto your leg and cries and giggles about how much she loves you. she’s also a very clumsy drunk and almost always ends up hurt the next day, falling into things, running into walls and tripping over air. then the next day when the hangover hits she swears up and down she’ll never get drunk again in between groans of agony just to do it again in a week.

getting high together is also something she loves to do. it’s such an awakening experience that just deepens her love for you as she feels very comfortable and relaxed in your presence. she also loves the very dumb conversations you have together about the most meaningless things.

facemasks are also a must. she loves it when you do her skincare because she doesn’t have a routine for herself and so on occasion you’ll do some treatment for her. she hates those paper masks because they feel slimey and cold against her skin but she’ll do them if you have them. she likes when you put a charcoal or clay mask on her skin and acts like some sort of strange creature.

constantly making movie references that you don’t understand most of the time. and when you don’t get one of her comparisons she’ll force you to watch the film immediately and explain in detail what she meant.

if you try to talk during one of the movies she picks she’ll hush you immediately, wanting you to pay total attention to it unless it’s one the both of you have seen before. but when it’s her turn for her to watch a movie of your choice she’s yet to see but you have she’ll be a total hypocrite, talking and adding loud dialogue the entire way through. she’s also the type to ask you questions about a plot to a movie you’ve both never seen before and actually expecting you to be able to answer.

you have a long snapstreak going with her that you both mourn anytime it’s reset. and she’s got a highlight of you on her instagram that she updates once or twice a week.

she’ll ask you what your favorite marvel character is and if it’s one she doesn’t like she will fight you. (not really, but she’ll trash talk the character and get super defensive if you try to do the same to hers.)

she’s actually very trusting of you in the relationship and the only times she ever gets jealous is if a girl is outwardly flirting with you even after being aware that you’re dating someone.

random kisses constantly, she’ll gently turn your chin to face her or cup your chin and bring you into a kiss without any warning before hand.

she loves to do cute challenges with you. for example the chapstick challenge, where you buy a pack of flavored/scented chapstick and kiss the other while they try to guess the flavor. or doing the same thing with lipstick, but instead of trying to guess the flavor just seeing if it was kiss proof or not. but she doesn’t own makeup except for maybe a cheap mascara and a thing of eyeliner she almost never touches; so it would have to be yours or just not one you partake in.

going along with the no makeup thing, she would gladly let you do hers if you have any. she’d be the perfect little test subject for practicing your makeup skills on others if it wasn’t for her randomly goofing off and trying to eat the lipstick or the wands.

there’s definitely been at least a time or two where she does actually get jealous over chad if you have a good relationship with him. it doesn’t matter if you’re lesbian, bi, pan, omni or unlabeled she with subliminally have the thought that you’re gonna leave her for her twin brother. you of course reassure her and remind her of the love you hold for her. she’s not ever the type to blame you for her jealousy. she wouldn’t ignore you or get angry because of her own feelings and actually much prefers to talk it through with you than suffering alone or in silence.

she’s not afraid to speak her mind or be bold. it can get a bit embarrassing from the occasional time to time if you’re out in public with strangers but you’re quick to laugh about it.

pda is a must with her and if you ever receive looks or judge mental comments she’s quick to reply and call someone out on their behavior and won’t back down till they apologize or walk away. she loves showing you off and that doesn’t change whether it’s behind opened or closed doors, but it definitely does simmer down. but like don’t be surprised if she randomly wants to make out with you even though you’re at a friends house together and hanging out with multiple other people.

she’s quick to warn you about her suspicions of ethan to alert you; which saves you a lot in the long run. you avoid him and try not to hang out with the group when you’re lead to believe ethan may be there or suspiciously couldn’t make it only for everyone to get attacked by ghostface the same night.

she loves to dance with you. and not like a slow dance, im talking jumping up and down, bobbing her head, shouting the lyrics and swinging her arms up and down while hopping around you to shit like ‘lovefool’ by the cardigans.

the both of you have tried every two player mobile game known to man and could spend hours day on the couch with her legs in your lap playing things like fashion frenzy on roblox to game pigeon.

if you ever get sick she’ll want to stay with you the entire time till you’re feeling better and once you finally do now she’s the one under the weather and expects you to do the same as she did with you. she’s actually grown to love it when she gets ill cause it’s basically a guarantee she’ll be the only one or thing with your attention for at least a few days and if she feels that attention drifting from her she’ll act like such a little kid and act like she’s dying.

she’ll never admit it but she loves to be babied by you.

overall she’s just a very straight-forward person who gives someone her entire body and soul when she cares about them. but she is also a very independent person who can survive when left on her own.

NSFW !!

im definitely getting more top/dom vibes from her.

she knows what she wants in the bedroom and has a lot of experience from past relationships. she’s able to find all the ways to please a woman immediately and have her head buried in your cunt with your thighs clutched around her curls, muffled moans leaving her lips as she watches the way your back arches and legs shake in pleasure.

she’s willing to try almost everything at least once.

she loves eating you out, it’s almost like an obsession at this point. it’s one of her favorite things to do and anytime you let her she’s quick to shuffling between your legs with an eager smile.

when she’s on the receiving end she’ll talk you through it, telling you what feels good and what doesn’t with no shame. she’s also got a decently high sex drive and is able to last through at least 3-4 good orgasms as long as there’s some short break time inbetween.

she loves to tease you, especially when cuddling. one of her favorite things to do is be the big spoon and slide one of her legs between yours, bringing her knee up to your clit that still has fabric protecting your core and move just slightly, taking pleasure in seeing you try to desperately dry hump her leg.

started 08.08.23. finished 08.08.23.

*ೃ༄ a / n : thank you for the request anon ! i love opening the app to seeing new messages or prompts and i hope that this is to your liking. requests are open and if you’ve already sent in one it’s currently being worked on ! <3 im sorry about the nsfw section being so short , i was getting kinda sleepy more than halfway through this and felt like the quality was slowly declining so i didn’t wanna keep digging myself a hole LOL

( scream masterlist )

©️nolovelingers 2023

[noridoorman]

More scrapped Nuzi fics (warning, some is angsty)

Fragmented/Fragments of the past/Echo/Whatever freaking title I had for this:

Uzi crawls on the ground, one arm missing and every inch of her metallic body feeling like extra weight she’s forced to carry. The room around her trembles, the walls shun a blinding white color, piercing the optical sensors of her visor. Some furniture pieces around her began to fade gradually into the white voice as Uzi continued pushing forward, crying out a name so familiar and yet so distant, grasping for something, anything, in her vicinity.

She hears another voice; a feminine one calling out the same name yet everytime it did, their voice would glitch or distort, making it unable for Uzi to hear it.

Yet she knew, the name somehow carried significance.

Uzi pushes forward, her vision partly recovering after having been assaulted by the light to see a silhouette in a glass capsule, several heavy machinery surrounding it. The silhouette turns to her and despite not being able to discern any facial features or attributes tied to the person she can see its somber smile as it kneels down to her level - or as far as it could go.

Again, Uzi calls this name as she stared at the figure, placing her hand weakly against the glass, a feeble attempt to break it. Sobs wreck through her body, begging the person, whoever they are, to get out of the capsule, to not do something that she couldn’t grasp no despite her own words repeating it. The figure’s eyes closed as they shakily exhaled, trying to communicate to Uzi yet all words came out as equally distorted as the name.

And yet, Uzi begged. Pleaded, cried, anything to convince the figure to leave. Yet it only responded by placing its hand against the glass, its words coming out glitched once again.

“Uzi, I love you…”

Her eyes hollow as the now clear words hit her audial sensors. A deep sense of both love and grief shocks her to the core, all sounds she once made fall mute as a sudden realization settles before her. For the few seconds of silence she had, the figure muttered a thousand apologies before the bright void engulfed them both.

What it was: this was meant to be a "what-if" kinda fanfic. Basically, N cannot take the thought of Uzi dying and looked for any chance for an alternative, which he found. He found a machine in the labs that could rewind time, bringing the time back to a time before they met. However, the machine needed fuel and N was the only one that could fuel it through his core. He sacrifices himself, despite Uzi's pleading. Time rewinds and Uzi wakes up without any memory of what happened and N has been completely ereased from the timeline. However, I really don't like sad endings and this fanfic would have ended on Uzi somehow remembering and bringing N back, however...

Why I scrapped it: I don't trust myself to handle heavy topics and angst and make it believable while also emotional. Plus, I started working on Cinnamon Scent and never found the time to develope it further than the prologue. And as time went on I thought of the concept to be boring and was scared it wasn't going to stick with others through all the other creative stuff out there.

Reborn:

"The absolute most angst-filled idea I could possibly think of for this series is N dying and Uzi proceeding to feed Eldtrich N living worker drones out of desperation, willing to sacrifice anyone to get him back. N revives but without any memory of what Uzi did to resurrect him,' with a traumatized, oil-stained Uzi hugging him in silence."

This was a comment a different Tumblr user made and I asked them if I could write a fanfic about it and they said "Sure". Aaaand, I never write it cause again; I don't trust myself with Angst.

Cinnamon Scent Chapter 5:

N // Today at 10:11 AM

“Uziii, I got the appel strudel u asked for! :D”

“But also… a bit of a surprise”

Uzi raised a brow at that, her mind already going in overdrive to try to think what surprise he might have planned.

Uzi // Today at 10:11 AM

“And that is?”

N // Today at 10:11 AM

“How do I say it ahhh”

“Well, it depends on you if it’s a positive or a negative surprise!”

Uzi // Today at 10:12 AM

“Don’t dodge the question”

N // Today at 10:12 AM

“Wahhh, you’re so scary when you’re serious!”

“It’s kinda hard to tell you bc they told me not to tell you”

Uzi // Today at 10:12 AM

“???”

“Who’s they?? Where are you?”

N // Today at 10:13 AM

“OO I said too much, we’ll meet u there!!”

“Wha?” Uzi whispers under her breath, an uncomfortable feeling emerges at the pit of her stomach, making her thoughts go even more in overdrive.

Did he bring a friend along?

With confusion and determination both etched on her face (and some sprinkled in nervousness) her pace quickens as she beelines towards the amusement park, ready to smack somebody if she needs to.

-

“Hey, Uzi!” Uzi turns around to the sound of N calling for her, spotting him standing near the entrance. And as Uzi had expected, he didn’t stand alone.

“That’s her?” A human with a large bow in her brown/reddish hair and a few freckles on her tanned skin. “It’s nice to finally meet you!”

“Yeah, so nice” A drone with her white hair styled into two twintails responded sarcastically, making Uzi forget about her shock for a second to glare at her.

“Don’t be like that, J!” V lighty smacks the shoulder of, who Uzi now knows is, J. J in turn glared at V’s direction, though the latter seemed not bothered by it.

“I… I didn’t expect you to bring your family,” Uzi chuckles awkwardly, pointing at all the new (and not so new) people behind N. He scratched the back of his head, opening his mouth to speak.

“Yeah, well-”

“We weren’t going to leave him alone with a stranger” J interjects, making N cower underneath her harsh gaze. Uzi only returns that, her shoulders tense.

“Friend. I’m his friend,”

“Guys, let’s not fight!” Tessa stands between J and Uzi, making N breathe a huge sigh of relief. Uzi’s eyes softened a bit, her stance growing less defensive. “N talked about an amusement park at some point. We all thought it would be fun to go together!”

“I wouldn’t be able to sneak out again anyway,” N shoots Uzi an apologetic smile that she returns with a soft sigh, both not hearing J yell in the background ‘again?’.

“No need to be sorry, bud,” Uzi hides her hands in her pockets, trying to mask her disappointment with a casual attitude. “It’s your family, I’m not going to deny you not taking them out here,”

“And we’ll get to spend more time together!” N cheers, looking excitedly at Tessa. “Right?”

“We’ll have to see how it will work with your schedule but otherwise, I don’t see why not!” Tessa ruffles N’s hair, chuckling.

“We’ll also have to see if she’s not a threat!” J argues back, however, it fell on deaf ears as everyone turned towards the entrance, all making their way inside the amusement park while J grumbled something under her breath.

“So, which rides look the most fun?” Tessa strokes her chin, looking at all the different attractions in her line of sight.

“The rollercoaster is pretty cool,” Uzi shrugs. “There should also be a carousel somewhere, but it’s for kids,”

“What about this?” N runs ahead towards a giant mechanical octopus with seats attached to its tentacles. “This looks fun!”

“And dangerous,” J crosses her arms, her eyes moving along the rotation of the octopus.

“I think it’s safe,” Tessa smiles, turning to Uzi. “Right?”

“Oh, uh, sure!” Uzi scrambles together an answer, somewhat surprised that Tessa would ask for her opinion. “I wasn’t on the octopus a lot, it always bored me. My mom thought it was tons of fun though,”

“I got us tickets!” V cackles as she hands each and every one of them tickets, with N taking it eagerly and J more reluctantly.

“V, you know we have to save,” J glares, making V roll her eyes.

“I know, I know, but we can take it easy once,” V hands the last tickets to Tessa. “What fun would we have if we saved every penny only for necessities?”

“They’re called necessities for a reaso-”

“J,” Tessa places a hand on J’s shoulder, making her eyes widen a bit. “Don’t worry about the money. I’ll take care of it”

“But-”

“See? Tessa got it covered!” V walks on the ramp as the ride stops, choosing eagerly which seat she’s going to take. “Besides, you should take it easy especially!”

“If this is what it's like to have siblings then I’m happy that my parents only adopted me…” Uzi speaks her thoughts out loud, flinching as N’s laughter rings out next to her.

“At least it never gets boring!” N takes her hand, leading her to two empty seats. Uzi’s core flutters at the contact, her eyes drifting towards their hands. N helps hoist Uzi up due to her smaller size, only intensifying her already prominent blush.

“I’m… really surprised they came along” A employee fastened their seats, taking their tickets with an odd look. Uzi returned the look with a glare before sighing. “How did you convince them?”

“Oh, there wasn’t any convincing needed!” N beams. “Tessa wanted to go somewhere, I just mentioned the amusement park!”

“Did you tell them about me?” Uzi grips the edges of her seat as the ride slowly begins.

“A little, yeah” N admits sheepishly. “J got suspicious that I knew about the amusement park”

“Of course” Uzi rolls her eyes, her grip tightening as the ride picks up speed.

“Tessa was all for it!” N grips Uzi’s hand, squeezing it as fans begin to whirr louder. “Th-This is my first time here, you don’t mind that I…?” N’s gaze flickers towards their hands, making Uzi shake her head frantically.

“N-Not at all!” Uzi squeezes his hand back, partially to reassure him, partially due to her internal panic. “Be warned though, it’ll get faster,”

“Faster?!” N yelled as the seats began to spin along with the giant octopus in the middle. Uzi cackled as the ride began to spin quiet fast in all directions while N’s grip on Uzi’s hand tightened, screaming as the seats moved up and down.

“Are you afraid?!” Uzi yells, her smile disappearing as she looks at N. However, a nervous smile etched on his face as turned to Uzi.

“This is awesome!” He kicked his feet in the air as the ride continued, making Uzi laugh in response.

Despite the wind tossing and turning her hair in every direction, the adrenalin in her body going on overdrive or the constant spinning of the ride, the feeling of N’s hand intertwined with her’s turned her entire brain functions into mush.

-

“That was so cool!” V fist bumps in the air as she excitedly jumps off the ride with the rest trailing behind. “We should do that again!”

“Yeah, right, it wasn’t THAT exciting!” J crosses her arms, a frown etched on her face.

“I saw you laughing like crazy, J!” Tessa giggles, fixing up some strands of J’s hair. “Admit it, you liked it,”

“J-Just a little!” J balls her hands into fists but doesn’t fight back against Tessa’s hands undoing her twintails to make it even again. “It’s still overrated!”

“What J actually meant was, thanks for taking me out on this fun trip away from my crippling workload and the same walls I have to witness every day!” V holds her shorter hair up, mimicking J’s hairstyle, posture and voice.

“Aren’t you mature?” J rolls her eyes as Tessa ties the first pigtail up.

“We’re kids, let’s enjoy it as long as it lasts!” V rests her hands on her hips, a smug grin on her face.

“V is right, J” As Tessa finally tied up the last pigtail she kissed the top of J’s head. “I wanted us here so that we don’t have to hide away anymore,”

J groans, her arms dropping to her side.

“Where did you guys live before?” Everyone's eyes turned to Uzi who immediately felt herself shrink under their intense stares. “...too much?”

“I-I can tell you sometime later!” N places a hand on her shoulder. “Right now, let’s just enjoy our… Wait, what’s that?!” N instantly runs away, leaving them all dumbfounded and scrambling towards his direction.

“N, don’t just run off like that!” J scolds as they finally reach him, his gaze concentrated on a giant Shiba Inu plush hanging from the side of a stand. Cans are stacked on top of each other with more different plushies and prices hanging on the sides.

“Do you want this?” Uzi points at the Shiba Inu plush, making N rapidly nod his head.

“Yeah, but… I’d have to win to get one,” N sadly scratches his arm as he eyes the plush.

“My mom used to be really good at those, she taught me a thing or two” Uzi responds somewhat smugly, yet a shy blush showed itself on her visor. “Maybe I could try winning you one?” Uzi smiles, her hands resting on her hip. N’s eyes brightened as he happily bounces on the spot.

“Only humans can participate,” V points at the sign, her expression turning sour. “How stupid…”

“I can try!” Tessa beams, handing the vendor money. “I’m probably not as good but it’s worth a shot,”

“Really?!” N claps his hands, they light in his visor shining somehow brighter. Tessa nods eagerly, grabbing one of the three balls on the counter, raising her hand behind her shoulder to throw the ball. Her eyes squint as pure concentration etched itself on her face, every fiber of her being channeled into landing the perfect shot. The drones all gather around her, looking with both excitement and unease in their eyes.

However, for Uzi, all she saw were the static covered eyes, an image of what should be her mom standing there, ready to throw the ball. Khan places a hand on Uzi’s shoulder, making her look up to him with a curious gaze.

Nori throws one ball and misses.

Wait… Mom never missed?

She throws another. Again, miss.

That’s not a memory.

“Come on, Nori, you can do it!” Khan cheers, looking as if he doesn’t see what Uzi is seeing. The static over her eyes, the clouds in the sky going faster than they should and the feeling of the breeze hitting them in all places at once.

Nori throws again. This time, all the cans fall down.

Cheers emerge from all directions of Uzi’s auditory sensors, voices so familiar and strange.

“Look, Uzi!” Uzi jolts as N holds the Shiba Inu plush at her face, recoiling slightly at her reaction. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“N-No, it’s fine, I was just… thinking?” Uzi shakes her hands.

“Explains why you stood there like a zombie,” J crosses her arms, raising a brow. Uzi opens her mouth, ready to defend herself until N presses the Shiba Inu plush again against her face.

“Look how adorable it is!” He offers for Uzi to hold it but she raises her hands in the air instead, taking several steps back.

“Uh, I-I…It’s cute,” N’s head tilts to the side, a puzzled frown on his face.

“Your fans are really loud!” Tessa notes, kneeling down to Uzi’s level. “Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine!” Uzi takes more steps back as Tessa tries to place a hand on her forehead.

“Are you sure-”

“Bite me! I said I’m fine!” Uzi crosses her arms.

“Watch your tone!” J takes some threatening steps towards Uzi but is stopped by N who stands protectively in front of her.

“J, stop,” N says with a somewhat authoritative tone, surprising everyone. “She probably just feels overwhelmed. Leave her alone,”

J raises a finger, her mouth opening but after several seconds of no sounds coming, her hands fall to her side.

“I think we should all take a break,” Tessa says, trying to defuse the situation. “Maybe we could sit on a bench and stare at the ocean for a bit,”

“Great idea, my legs are starting to hurt,” V stretches her arms above her head, exhaling heavily before walking ahead. “Come on,”

“Do you know where you’re going?” N asks, staying next to Uzi’s side who looked at the ground, absent minded.

“It shouldn’t be that hard to find a quiet corner!”

“You’re walking into the crowd,” J groans.

“Hey, trust my intuition once!” V glares, looking behind her.

“Your intuition got us in more trouble than it actually helped” A exasperated sigh escapes J’s lips but V only chuckles in response.

“Like that one time in the mall?” J cracks a small smile as V mentioned the incident, making Tessa laugh along.

“We were looking so long for you two!” Tessa picks up her pace to walk between V and J. “What made you guys think that hiding into the gaming store was a good idea?”

“It was V’s intuition that made her think you’d look for us there first,” J rolls her eyes albeit with a smile. “Truthfully, I think she just wanted to look at the games there”

“Lies!” V gasps dramatically. “How dare you accuse me of such a thing!”

“It was the truth, wasn’t it?” N laughs from behind the three. “You told me, V!”

“N, you suck!” V yells, making both Tessa and J burst out in laughter.

“Ah, oops, shouldn’t have revealed it, huh?” N scratches the back of his back, a sheepish smile on his face.

The three began telling more stories of the past, recounting incidents or happy memories and sharing smiles and laughter together. However, N caught on to Uzi’s silence and somewhat distant behavior the whole time.

“Hey,” Uzi jolts slightly as N places a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You good?”

“Yes, for the thousandth time, I’m fine,” Uzi sighs.

“You’ve been so quiet though,” N sheepishly smiles. “Sorry about, uh… all this,”

“All what?” Uzi raises a brow.

“I should have told you my family was coming along and not make it out to be this surprise.” An unusual somber expression falls on his face as his lips twitch downward to a frown. “I’m sorry for overwhelming you like this,”

Uzi opens her mouth to speak again but N kept on rambling.

“In fact, I probably should have gone alone!” Slight panic arises in his expression, making Uzi feel a pang of sympathy in her chest.

This is scrapped because I felt embarrassed about the family drama. However, this is only the snippet of what's being edited, there's a ton that will stay the same bc it's Khan and Uzi bonding stuff :3

[rodolfoparras]

Take care of yourself first, writing can wait! I am just happy to send you my silly little drabbles and ideas because sharing them over anon is much easier.

Also I saw you mention long haired Price and as someone who absolutely adores men with long hair and falls for them always I feel uniquely qualified to offer my insight. Also long haired old metalhead dilfs are my type to the t.

I think we mentioned before on your blog how Price was definitely alternative when he was younger and I can definitely see him being your typical long haired metalhead, and I stand by the fact that he was pierced and he has old tattoos. He obviously had to cut his hair when he enlisted and although he still has same music taste, he isn't really into same style anymore.

He thinks he's too old for that (I know he's supposed to be around 37 canonically but in my head he's like mid to late 40s in main timeline) and he can't see himself growing his hair out again. Cue his boyfriend finding photos of him when John was younger and begging him to grow his hair out again. He's on the fence about it until he realises just how much his boyfriend would be into the idea.

He slowly starts growing his hair out (let's ignore military aspect for this) and maybe to make it even more interesting, either he or his boyfriend have to go on a mission and when they finally reunite, John's hair has grown and while it's not as long as it used to was, it's still kind of long and his boyfriend can't keep his hands off John.

This is also where John realized that he likes having his hair pulled because his boyfriend will just do it whenever they have sex and John melts instantly. But also the intimacy of hair washing and hair braiding??

-🔮

I appreciate you sugar thank you sm for understanding 🥹 also I wanted to say in regards to the idea u sent you should’ve posted it on ur own blog bc it’s genuinely 10/10 if you one day feel comfortable with posting ur fics and you post a price focused fic pls feel free to tag me id genuinely eat it up

*cracks knuckles* price had to cut his hair bc of the army but he also thought he just grew a tad bit old for the look but then there’ a period of time where he’s stationed somewhere for months maybe a whole year and his hair grows long enough to be tied in a bun he hasn’t had the time to cut it because where would you get your hands on scissors in the middle of nowhere and truth be told he missed his long hair he ties it up opts out of wearing buckets hats and let’s it down before bed however once he’s back home and he actually gets a proper look at himself he’s like ….. and immediately wants to cut it off but you don’t let him u beg and plead almost wrestle the scissors from him however the two of you comprise and you settle for a look where his hair is long enough to be tied into a ponytail but short enough to not have him cringing at himself and the next time he looks at himself in the mirror he actually likes what he sees even smiles at himself and you creep up behind him chin resting atop of his head saying “told you that you’re handsome” and he’s just like oh stop it

But imagine him down on his knees his hair wrapped around your wrist while he sucks your cock and he looks absolutely beautiful drool dribbling down his lips tears trickling down his cheeks and with small curls framing his face

And when it’s time to go back to base and cut his hair he discovers that having your blunt nails scratch at his scalp feels just as good as when you pull on his long hair

[thedragonagelesbian]

14 18 and 22 for cyrus for the tav character development questions! whichever timeline u want (or all of them)

14: What hobbies does your Tav have?

Answered here!

18: What would your Tav be doing if they weren't kidnapped on the Nautiloid?

Main timeline Cyrus would still be adventuring, doing his paladin brave knight thing all over Faerun. Indeed, I think even without getting tadpoled, he would have stumbled into the party--probably at the Grove helping the tiefling refugees--and invited himself along on their quest to stop the Absolute.

Ranger Cyrus would have maintained his self-imposed isolation from the rest of the world, living alone in his cottage in the wilderness. If I consider that possibility for too long tho I'm going to make myself sad, someone PLEASE force him to heed the call to adventure I don't want to think about him spending all the centuries of his life alone because he's too jaded and bitter and wary :((

22: What languages is your character fluent in?

Just Common for all versions. BG3 Cyrus hasn't spent a lot of time with any elves other than his mother and father. Much like their DA2 counterparts, this version of Leandra was an heiress to a prominent (elven) noble family in Evermeet and ran away to be with Malcolm. During Cyrus' formative years, the trio were on the run, though here because Malcolm was a warlock who had scorned his Archfey patron. Even after his death, Leandra kept her and Cyrus moving from place to place, until she fell ill and returned to Evermeet to beg her father to take Cyrus in upon her passing. Aristide declined, and shortly after Leandra and Cyrus left to return to Faerun, she succumbed to her illness.

Cyrus spent the next half a century in a human city, losing some of his Elvish in the process, and ranger Cyrus forgot even more of it during his century as [redacted]'s champion. I think pally Cyrus has been relearning it with Halsin and will regain his fluency post-game.

[roachemoji]

03 07

The coke product placement is AKSJDHAKJSDH so funny to me

GET TORTURED TED !!!!!!!!!!!!

BRO R THEY GONNA BE STUCK UP THERE WHILE THE DISEASED RAT KING FUCKING KILLS EVERYONE AKJSHDKJASHDKJASD damn. RIP </3

BKSDFHKSDJFKHJSDF GOD ITS SO FUCKING NASTYYYYYYY

GOD i forgot they got truth serumed AKSJDHAKJSDH

NANCY AND HER GUNS GIRLIE OK

how are ANY of these children alive like ACTUALLY AJSDHAKSJDHAKJDH

sausage. FUCKED UP sausage!!!!!!!!!!

OKAY I STOPPED WATCHING YESTERDAY BUT WE'RE BACK AT IT GONNA FINISH THIS SEASON TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

GOD GENUINELY LOVE THIS LOVE HOW MUCH SCARRIER ITS GOTTEN !!! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MTY goasdkjhasdkjh ow ow FUCK

un CLEAR HOW youre gonna kill something thats made of... regenerative rat parts????

EWQ JESUS STEVE GARBAGE POPCORN????

CRYING STEVE AND ROBIN ?? holding hands but only because if they let go they will both get lost

hOPPER ??? like genuinely the shift in his personality is insane??? DONT GET ME WRONG HES ALWAYS BEEN BAD BUT HES WORSE? HES LITERALLY WORSE U CANT TELL ME HES ALWAYS BEEN THIS BAD!!!

tbh though love the P.I. need him to come give his opinion on shipping discourse please !!! thank you

ALEXEI!!!!! hes so cute

YEAH GIRL IM SORRY HALF THE TOWN IS MADE OF FREAKS. you have to kill half the town and IDK HOW YALL EXPLAIN THIS?????

boys i loVE You both but PLEASE get a fucking bowl????

MAX'S UNAWVERING CONFIDENCE IN EL'S ABILITIES!!!!

and MIke,,, his apology feels really insincere ? and weird??? but that could just be because hes a teenage boy AKSJHD

KSDHJFKJDSHFDKJHFKSJHSFDKJH ROBIN AND STEVE <3

ME AUTISTICALLY STANDING INTHE GROCERY STORE MESMERIZED BY THE FOAM COVERED BEAMS WHILE MY ROOMMATE BEGS ME TO PICK OUT A LITTLE TREAT FOR MYSELF

the mayor's fucking CAKED ON FOUNDATION ADKJAHDKJAH

OH ROBINS ASKING THE HARD HITTING QUESTIONS SKDJHFSKJHD o hh hakjKJSDFKJHDSFKFJH OH ROBIN'S FACE OH SHE LOOKS. A LITTLE AFRAID GIRLIE IM SORRY oh she knows oh im ough. the. OH THE SHOULDER SLUMP OH GIRL OH GIRL , OH THE. MMMMM. SHES SO UNCOMFORTABLE PLEASEEEEEE this is so good. LIKE YEAH THEMS THE. THOSE ARE REAL FEELINGS FELT BABEY

BABBEEYYY NO GIRLIE IM SO SORRY

THANK YOU. !!!!! YEAHH THE GAYS ARE WINNING

BUT TAMMY THOMPSONS A GIRL

baby boy you'd climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side

INSTNATLY JUST PROCESSING HIS SHIT AND THEN GIGGLING WITH HER !!!! PLATONIC BESTIES I LOVE THEMMMMMMM

i think the P.I and Alexei should kiss :)

TALKED ABOUT THIS WITH MY ROOMATE BUT THAT FUCKING RIDE IS AUTISM HEAVEN THATS A WEIGHTED BLANKET BABBEYYYY ID RIDE THAT THING LIKE 6 TIMES THE FULL BODY PRESSRE EXPERIENCE? INSANE

ALEXEI IS HAVING SO MUCH FUN LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH AKJHSDKAJKJHASDKJADSHKJH IM CRYING HES SO CUTE !!!!! HIS SMILEEEEEEE

NO NO NO NO GOD DAMN IT. GOD DAMN IT

:(

i knew he was gonna but like damn did they have to make him just a little guy???

THEFUCKING TERMINATOR IS JUST !!! INSANE >>>>>???????? ADKASHJDASKJH LIKE WHO ARE YOU

TED SHUT UP OH MY GO F

HE DIED FOR A FUCKING CORNDOG

JOYCE. OKAY!!!!! CONVINCED THIS IS DEF AN ALT TIMELINE BC OF THAT TOO BUT ALSO YEAH GIRLIE

oh we get a hall of mirrors???? those are so disorienting and if i walked into a fucking glass door you bET your ass i'd fucking die in there

THROW HOPPER DOWN THE COP SLIDE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIVE HIM A CONCUSSION

HOW IS EL STILL FUCKING STANDING MY GIRL USED TO PASS OUT AFTER DOING LIKE 2 THINGS ????? AND NOW SHES FUCKING EPLODING SHIT AND THROWING CARS AND GOD DAMN

OH ASKDJHADKHJ THERE WE GO. SHE GOT OVERSTIMMED AND ALSO ITS INFECTED.

EWEEWEJKKJFKJHASJFHA OUGHHGG I HATE THINGS MOVING UNDER THE SKIN GIRL ABSOLUTELY NO EWEWEWEWEWEWE

ENDED WITH A SONG NO LYRRICS

Stranger Things - Season 3 thread 03 01

LETS GO GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay okay okay starting off strong 1984 i see you i see you all these bald men are so sweaty and shiny and exhausted looking.

OH THE VFX BUDGET WENT UP BABBBEYYY OH LOOK AT THAT SHIT THATS COOL AS FUCK

So El isnt the one who opened the gate OG?? Really sick that they needed that much power to do it only forit to backfire and some little girl could do it with ease - OUFH SORRY TO THE BITCHES WHO JUST GOT EXPLODED

i understand why the bald men are sweaty and exhausted looking

SO WHY DO THEY WANT TO GET IN THERE SO BAD!!!!! OH THIS IS THE RUSSIAN PLOT PART YEAHHH

is this like ....... wanting to win the coldwar type shit??? because we're past the space race and into the 80s.... (<- guy who doesnt know much about this specific subject of history tbh)

EL LOOKS SO GOOD - fucking hate seeing them kiss im so sorry it makes me so uncomfortable - FEELING REAL HOPPER THOUGH LIKE ITS ICKY but also damn KING GIVE UR KID SPACE

i fucking LOVE THE shift in colours in this season !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE ITS SO BRIGHT I LOVE IT!!!! AND STEVEEEE!!!!!! AND I FINALLY GET TO MEET ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh this movie is foreshadowing some shit i can feel it. labesq SHIT!!!!!!! AND THEN THE POWER GOING OUT!!!!!!!!!!! this means things my brain is too small to make proper connections

OH SHIT LITTLE ME!!!!!!!

YEAH SEE Lost smoke monster !!!!! somethings thers i just know it

"im not gonna fall in love" "ok"

JOYCE MY BELOVED

booOOOOOBBBBBBBB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUSTIIINNNNNNNNNN

<- guy whose just REALLY EXCITED TO SEE THEIR FAV LITTLE MAN

GIRLIES WHO ARE WE LOOKING COOL FOR IM -

thought it waas gonna be gay forgot Billy existed

HOPPER IS ACTUALLY A FUCKING INCEL IM CRYING ITS BEEN LIKE 20 MINUTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KING OH MY GOD SHUT UP rooted for you but nah youve really always been like this

A Heart to Heart? What is that? <- man whose never been shown compassion???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS shut up

ngl tho me n hopper shaking hands how to you approach people about things without people helping you write shit out word for word

this entire board roOM REMINDS ME OF THE BEGINNING OF SEASON 2 OF FARGO - but she a woman TYPE SHIT AKSHJD

Nancy is. trying so HARD and girl i am so sorry

HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THE WAY HE TALKS ABOUT HER <3333

Steve. i got nothing to add he just. wow

ROBIN I LOVE HER I L OVE THE PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS ON THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its romantic <- jealousy

Its gross <- somehow not jealousy tho sorry

Its bullshit <- jealousy

BRO ARE HE LLO WHAT PIED PIPER SHIT IS HAPPENING???? CRYING AT ALL THE LITTLE CGI GUYS LOOK AT THEM ALL!!!! THEY ALL HAVE LITTLE WHITE FEET THO???? THOSE ARE. exploding. theyre exploding. :(

ENOUGH OF HIM I DONT WANT TO SEE HIM I WANT TO SKIP THROUGH HIS MOMENTS I ACTUALLY HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH IM IN. PAIN. LIKE. OU GH. THE. SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT IS? PAINFUL I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE HIM I HATE HIM IHATE HIM PHYSICALLY GAGGING

LUCAS AND MAX mAKE me so happy and MAx is still transmasc coded in my heaRTTTTT

DUSTIN BABY IM SO SORRY YOURE HAVING A MY CANADIAN GF MOMENT BUTSHES MORMON AND FROM UTAH

SHOWING MomEnts of Joyce being so happy and gENUINELY IN LOVE WITH BOB JUST HURTS SO MUCH HE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE

oh now we have shit with MAGNETS and the spaceship space race cold war babbeyyyy

DISEASE RATS!!!!!!!

HOPPER ASHING ON HIS FACE KING????? OW?????????????????????

This is so uncomfortable bro my dad did this to me once and it was horrifically misguided on his part and he was making some wild ass assumptions about my relationship with certain people and oUGADHADKAJSHAKSJH this isthe season of second hand embarassment and its PAINFUL

MIKE IS JUST MA KING IT WORSE PLEASE SHUT UP I OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I KEEP PAUSING IT BC I CANT HANDLE THIS

HOPPER H ELLO ????

IM

THIS IS

BRO THIS fucking entire season is gonna be so fucking painfULLLL STOP STOP STOP like the. BROOOOO stop stop stop whose got a link to a breakdown of the family dynamics between everyone and how fucked up everyone is i cant even put thi sinto words im just losing my mind hopethis makes sense

SORRY DUSTIN I !!! GOD. PICKING UP RUSSIAN SHIT INSTEAD OF HIS GF SORRY

i literally cant handle this weird Billy fucking Milfs arc and i cant even begin to stress how much i fucking hate it and him. I have literally no room in my heart for that piece of shit

im SORRY to KaREN WHEELER THOUGH LIKE DAMN GIRL your mariage is in shambles and you really want to be fucked by THIS GUY ?

HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IDIOT FUCKING GET ATTACKED BY FERAL DISEASED RATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CALLING ALL RATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know he fucking dies but iM GONAN LOSE MY MIND DOES HE GET FUCKIGN KILLED BY STOPP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP THIS IS SO FUC NNY YEAHH HYEAHHH BABEY FUCKING GET HIS ASSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

[feyinvestigations]

Also u got any found fan fics u wanna recommend?? 👀👀

I have,,,, so many fics I can recommend. I'm just going to give some aa fics,, because I think that they're neat

Will give a very quick warning, I read,,,, ridiculously long fics. I'm working on reading the The Subspace Emissary's Worlds Conquest (3.5 million words) and I'm about 500k in after like 3 days. So,,,, most of these fics are over 50k. I will have a few oneshots I like at the end but,,, mainly Long fics here.

All of the ratings will be in brackets [__]

Any fics that might be triggering will have * by them, and tws after the synopsis

Quick Synopsis will have the word count will be in < >

My absolute favorites will have a ⭐ by their name

Finished Fics:

[G] School Daze by NerdySkeleton

<205k words. It's a teacher AU fic, where Miles is a math teacher and Phoenix an art teacher. They both teach at the same middle school, and slowly bond. There is alot of really great characterization of Phoenix and Trucy, and we actually get to see how Zak's abandonment of Trucy affected her??? Which is,,, so nice to see??? Also Klavier and Apollo are dating, and Klavier and Phoenix bond over "bith of us havefamily/close friends in jail"

Pretty sure this was the first fic I read for ace attorney! My memory of it is a bit fuzzy, but I do remember enjoying reading this one.

[T+] Turnabout Specter by EggTempest

<this is about 77k words, and it's a custom case fic. I really enjoyed reading this one!! It has Phoenix and Pearl working together on the case after someone was murdered in Kurain villiage, and Maya and Franziska are married. It also has a lot of really well done artwork for each chapter>

[T+] if it's really me you seek by SeaMint

<85k words, this is a post-aa6 fic following Apollo and Klavier reparing their friendship after Apollo had left for Khura'in. Klavier let's Apollo stay with him at his apartment until Apollo can get a new place in the US. The, "Oh my god they were roommates" vibes with this one are impeccable. I read this one a really long time ago, but I remember really enjoying it!>

[T+] Turnabout Electric by HopeStoryteller*

<88k words, also a custom case fic! This fic is a classic. This one is a klapollo centric fic, and follows Apollo defending Klavier after he is accused of murder. It goes into Klavier and Kristoph's backstories, and is probably one my my favorite Klapollo fics, no competition.

Tw: this fic does deal with suicide, and several characters get pretty beat up. >

⭐[T] One Wish Away by Gealbhan

<54k. Franamaya enchanted AU. I live this movie, and I live this fic. Maya and Franziska are adorable. There is some background wrightworth, but franamaya is the focus. I love this fic so much. It is so campy and fun and I highly recommend it.>

[T+] despite everything, it's still you by Realizationtime*

<98k words. This another great one. It changes up the timeline of events a bit and is a bit confusing near the end, but nonetheless I really enjoyed reading it. It is functionally a character study into Phoenix and Miles, and starts in 2001 and ends around aa4. I really loved it <3

This fic does have depictions of child abuse (both verbal and physical,) domestic violence, a kidnapping plot point, suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts. >

⭐⭐⭐[T+] It Would Feel So Good To Make You Mine by Hi_its_ellis and LowBatteryHealth

55k words.. wrightworth. Top 5 fics in the fandom, and it's not even close. It is so goddammit funny, while still being I character, and still being very moving. Functionally, everyone knows that Phoenix and Edgeworth are in love with one another, and since Phoenix and Miles aren't together, it's safe to assume that neither of them have realized this yet, so several different characters have interventions with them to help them realize and it backfires horribly. I will not say more, because I don't want to spill the twist but like,,,, please,,,, I'm begging you to read at least up to chapter 2 because this fic is genuinely one of my favorites of all time.

[T+] The Wedding Planner by famousinthatanonymousway

<127k words. Beautiful fic. Miles and Franziska run a wedding planning business, Phoenix runs a bakery. Has a meet cute and everything. Highly recommend it. Was generally pretty light in tone. Phoenix also accidentally pushes Miles into a swimming pool>

[T+] Singderella by JJsADragon

<28k words. Klapollo meet cute moment.

Klavier has a singing contest with a bunch of his fans, and the winner gets to sing on one of Klaviers new songs. Apollo secretly enters because he wants like,,,, a 15$ cold stone gift card. He ends up winning, bolting from the competion, and now Klavier is trying to find his mysterious winner. This fic is very good at comedic yearning. >

[T+] Palace of the Wild Things by Rainphee

<44k words. Its,,, kind of like a wrightworth version of beauty and the beast. Except with birds. And also Edgeworth is a weird chimera/cerberus/borzoi. Im gonna be honest I read this entire fic while on benadryl, so I remember,,,,,, very little,,,,, but it was a good read.

[E] The Golden Hours by Soulpunkk

<125k words. This fic generally is more in the T+ catagory, but there is a sex scene in the last chapter. Has Wrightworth, Franmaya Klapollo, and Junithena. Phoenix owns an art supply store, and Miles runs a radiostation. Because of legal mumbo jumbo, Phoenix and Miles have to fake date so that Miles doesn't get fined/taken off the air because he technically doesn't have the license to have a radio show anymore. It's very sweet and has a lot of really good comedy. >

⭐⭐⭐[M] pressure (pushing down on me) by ApprenticeofDoyle*

<130k words. Does have wrightworth, but fey-wright found family is also just as important. Literally my favorite aa fic. I've reread this one more than 10 times. Its the perfect perfect fic. This fic is primarily about found family and I love it sm. If you are going to read any of the fics on this list, it needs to be this one I love it so much it's unreal. It's a retelling of the original trilogy, but with more found family. The sibling relationship between Phoenix and Maya, the nuanced discussions about mental health, the discussion of being queer it's all just,,,,, Chefs Kiss.

There is a lot of discussion of mental health and trauma, and there is a scene involving Phoenix dissociatiating after finding Mia's body, and a character has a panic attack in Chapter 3 I believe. There are warnings before each chapter as well!>

Updating:

[T+] Klavier's Moving Castle by ChrisAdrenini

<24k words. It's only on chapter 4/10, but it's really good!! It's a klapollo centric fic, and seems to have a lot of found family so far! It's a howls moving castle au, and generally manages to capture the energy of that movie really well!>

[T+] miles edgeworth's terrible, no-good, very bad, week by ApprenticeofDoyle

<25k words. It's of 4/5 chapters right now and it's really good. Functionally, it's a retelling of the events of the aai games, but with Phoenix being along for the ride!>

⭐[T+] Symbiosis by Deiryuu

<240k and is at 38/? The fic follows Miles and Phoenix, who is like,,, and actual Phoenix??? And they solve crimes together. Phoenix also can turn into a tattoo and he and Miles become friends!! Phoenix's backstory is also,,,, really mysterious in this one, and it's a really good fic if you love to craft theories while reading>

[T+] it never rains (it pours) by ApprenticeofDoyle

<29k words, 2/8. I'm gonna be honest, ApprenticeofDoyle never misses. It's a continuation of Pressure (pushing down on me) and follows Phoenix and Apollo. I'm really excited to see where this one goes.>

⭐[M] The Count Of Saint Nicolas by ApprenticeofDoyle*

<17k words. Okay this is that last apprenticeofdoyle fic rec. This one hasn't updated in a few months,,, but it's just beautiful. I literally literally working on fanart for this fic I love it so much. It's a wrightworth retelling of A Count of A Monte Cristo. So like,,,, pirates and angst and lots of that good stuff.

Tw: lots of violence. Someone nearly loses their eye in like,,,, chapter 2.>

⭐[M] Miles Edgeworth: Ace Attorney by Charybdiaa*

<186k words, and is at 21/26 This is a role swap au for aa1. It has my FAVORITE version of proelsecutor Phoenix and also manages to have a version of Defense Attorney Miles who is still recognizable as a massive fucking dork. Maya and Miles friendship is so powerful, and they very clearly care,,,, so much for one another???? I just live this fic to death. Also, each chapter has absolutely BEAUTIFUL artwork in it, and I highly recommend it.

Tw there is major character death, but it is of a character who dies in the original game. There is also child abuse, and a chapter that details a characters dissociation and mental health. >

[M] Sunflowers from Europe by MIKAANGELETTE*

<98k, 13/? This fic,,, is a doozy. It takes place during the 7 year gap, and pretty much everyone is incredibly flawed. This fic is almost in the grimdark territory, but I still enjoyed reading it. The fic follows Phoenix and Miles during the 7 year gap and their relationship. Pretty much only Maya and Trucy are fully innocent good people in this fic. It also has a lot of really interesting world building and I really enjoy their characterization of Miles and Beanix.

Tw: the central relationship of this fic, [phoenix/miles] is an infidelity, and Phoenix is also in a relationship with Kristoph. This is actively addressed in the fic, and is very overt. There is also very clear references to sex and cheating within the fic. Also drugging and substance abuse are also topics that come up.>

Oneshots

Also,,,, I remember a Franamaya pirate au. I cannot find it but I remember it. It was very gay. I think it was like,,,, 10 chapters. Please let me know if anyone knows where it is because I think the author took it down 😔😔

[traitor-boyfriend]

i am begging u to give us your thoughts on the special

i watched the special last night when it was available my time, and i just watched it again about half an hour ago, so i'm jotting all this down now while it's fresh in my mind:

- matt and trey have not given a specific date but have confirmed that the next special will be coming out in december; i do feel confident in my belief before that again these specials will be taking place in a separate timeline from the show as from the sound of it they still have not figured out exactly how to go about resuming "normal" production of the show within six days because of the pandemic, so these movies probably became a way for them to continue working as opposed to simply not airing for indeterminate time periods. the time travel element in this special will be how they bridge the gap between the two (presumably).

- stan the weak chin alcoholic failson with an overbearing miserable pseudo-robowife. ouch. not great to see but totally plausible. stan as an adult has definitely regressed into absolute cynicism and avoidance to deal with life, as his alexa robowife routinely criticizes him for. found it interesting that stan is the only one (other than cartman) that has left south park altogether and is living in "the city" though i suppose it makes sense once his Tragic Farm Backstory is revealed later on. the way kyle asks if this is stan marsh, from south park felt sooo bizarre to see on screen simply because i have read countless fics that have had this exact scenario which was very funny.

- i think the commentary in the future specifically regarding all the plus, max, add-on, etc to everything was very apt for where we are now, and i do think this is definitely a race south park has an inherent dog in, though that might seem to contrary considering these movies are exclusive to paramount+. if you've been watching south park as long as i have, you might recall back in the late 2000s when every episode was available to watch online for free, back before the concept of "streaming" content was a thing much less an entire industry. south park concurrently appeared on netflix, back when every show was on netflix, only to cycle on and off the platform, jump to hulu, have commercials introduced to south park studios to incentive people who wanted ad-fee episodes to use hulu, then heading to hbo max, except BLU and the new contracted specials will be on paramount+, and south park studios now only has select episodes available for free, with ads, and all other episodes are behind a paywall. hulu itself used to be a free service up to the 5 latest episodes of a cable tv show (this is how i used to keep up with the simpsons). the last five years or so has seen an explosion in "streaming" services, every major television network or production company has pulled their programming from existing services (namely netflix, or hulu) to start their own service to charge people for; all this is very confusing, annoying, and expensive for someone who wants to do the "right" thing of paying for all content they want. the dig about crypto later -- that centralized banking is bad and people are more inclined to trust fly-by-night ponzi schemes -- shows a very relevant breakdown of where many people's economic interest lie right now in which things are so decentralized now as to be incredibly vague and even more prone to nefariousness; cable is a racket, so i use streaming instead, except now i have to pay for several different services in order to access all the shows i watch, so paying for the all these individual services eventually becomes just as expensive. a good example of the current late-capitalist breakdown in which novel ideas that have the ability to revolutionize accessibility and simplicity in peoples' access to culture cannibalize itself so thoroughly as a hinderance to their intended purpose through pure economic incentive to maximize profit. i would be interested to know the details of matt and trey's role in this history with streaming and how much power they have re: comedy central.

- jimmy as the stand-in for jimmy fallon was funny to me; jimmy fallon is the perfect example of a highly sanitized, carefully curated comedian designed to be so nonthreatening and inoffensive in attempt to garner broad appeal while simultaneously appealing to no one. i thought this was their smartest way of criticizing "woke" pc culture within the comedy world in a way that did not just feel like Old Man Yells at Cloud; the humor is in how unfunny jimmy actually is.

- stan meeting kyle at the restaurant. oh man. the way that kyle tries so hard to seemingly brush past the animosity felt very kyle -- and the way stan sees through this immediately and curtly informs him that he's just here for the funeral was very stan. the scene later on where kyle again does the agree-to-disagree song and dance about their issues so they should simply move on and stan agrees is a really succinct breakdown of the communicate issues between the two of them. kyle has immense difficulty admitting his wrongdoing; stan has an immense aversion to any sort of confrontation. this is why they have problems and that felt very organic to their characters.

- i like all their adult characterizations and thought they made sense but absolutely none more so than clyde. clyde becoming a fat dumpy hawaiian-shirt tacky jewelry wearing anti-vax loser is hysterical. he's what cartman would realistically be. speaking of cartman...

- i had no real expectation for what cartman would become -- saw a lot of speculation about whether they would revisit previous versions of an adult cartman which i was fairly certain they wouldn't -- but i had to pause watching for a second when i saw him wearing a yarmulke. it follows the formula perfectly; cartman pretends to be something he isn't, which infuriates kyle as he typically is the first or only person to see through it (ex: ever diplomatic stan proposing that perhaps he has actually changed), cartman goes above and beyond to prove that he has, which frames kyle in the minds of everyone around them as an asshole for refusing to give him the benefit of the doubt, which leads to kyle inevitably deciding out of spite to go along to get along, only for cartman to pull the rug out from under him once he's done so, which we catch a glimpse of at the end, setting up these events for the second special. found it really, really funny the extent to which cartman is 'proving' this new identity though. three kids and a wife named yentl (assume in reference to barbra streisand). presumably by her shock, yentl also has very little idea the extent of cartman's sociopathy as a child and has had cartman to reverse the role of victim and offender in his retelling of events.

- noticed ike is the only sibling of the main four that was not seen; karen and kevin were visible at the funeral, shelly is dead (as is sharon), and yet ike was not seen. wonder if this was an oversight or if ike will have a role to play next episode in a similar manner in which butters was not seen in this episode but alluded to.

- kenny's "fuck these hoes!!!" written on the photo got a belly laugh out of me, as did kenny's adult self looking like he walked straight out of a reel big fish audition become a renowned scientist. i am too tired and a little drunk from dinner earlier to begin connecting the red yarn together of how butters, kenny, randy and tegridy, and cartman comingle in creating the future and its subsequent reversal. will think more on it later.

- speaking of randy, he has obviously learned nothing. the strained relationship between them was very believable, especially given the circumstances of stan burning down the farm which accidentally killed shelly and the grief of which led sharon to kill herself. stan obviously has a lot of unresolved grief which is made worse by the fact that randy refuses to accept any blame or responsibility for his role in all this.

- really liked the scene of them examining kenny in the morgue; stan making his dig about "fixing" everything, which kyle takes immediate umbrage with, kyle rightly accusing stan of something he himself is not innocent of, stan deflecting kyle's criticism of him by mocking him. i love the strife. and also loved the hint of reconciliation at the end and hope for more that deals specifically with stan and kyle in the next special.

- "a general sense of shellfishness" / clyde refusing to do the line of coke he was gung ho about initially once it's revealed to be the vaccine, then declaring his body "is a temple" afterward was a funny comment on the ways in which many people who are misinformed and resistant to understanding vaccination out of faux health concern are often not -actually- that concerned about their health.

- i think this is the longest any single event or plotine in south park has been continuously incorporated into the show re: tegridy farms and i wonder if they might use this eventual time reset to reset before the events of tegridy farms or if they do anticipate keeping them at the farm for the foreseeable future.

i have some more minor miscellaneous thoughts but i have been typing for over an hour and i need to head to bed. overall, i enjoyed it. it wasn't laugh a minute, and last night i was wondering if i was enjoying it b/c i found it genuinely entertaining or was simply having fun with the novelty of an all grown up episode, but upon watching it again today i was just actually feeling entertained. i think these longform movies-that-are-not-quite-movies will be a good way for them to explore some of their more convoluted plots with a lot of moving parts they have tried in the past few years with varying success solely b/c 22 min. 10 ep seasons require them to break things up in ways that make things a little too fragmented to follow or shallow to really dig into. we'll see what december has in store and if they can stick the landing.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 53 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

Some time seems to have passed between the end of the last lesson and the beginning of this one. Levi’s tired after pulling an all-nighter with Diavolo to finish a game and Mammon’s laughing at all the pictures Luke is sending him of all the desserts his making and the step by step process he’s following. Beel happily notes that Mammon & Luke have been chatting a lot lately. Mammon red in the face but smiling happily says it’s like he’s got a new minion who’s also fun to mess with, Asmo says it looks more like Mammon’s got a tiny little brother with the way Mammon’s being fawning over him (my heart this is so cute I need to write more fics with them interacting), Mammon denies it but Asmo says it holds no ground when Mammon can’t seem to stop smiling so happily. Lucifer has found an art book that Satan’s being looking everywhere desperately for and invites Satan to come take a look at it together, Satan postures a bit but agrees. Belphie says there’s a lot of strange friendships popping up lately, though Beel’s happy that Satan & Lucifer have been getting along better, Asmo thinks the way Satan’s being acting around Lucifer recently is strange and Belphie says it’s a sign of Armageddon. Asmo asks MC if they knew any reason behind the sudden change and they just say the two discovered new sides of each other which makes the other 3 more confused, with Asmo particularly lusting for the gossip. Belphie wonders if this means the anti-lucifer league would disband and Satan who hears this says that’s dumb cause he can take the chance to pull a prank of Lucifer when he goes to his room to check out the book. MC says they thought him and Lucifer were finally friends but satan says even the thought makes him sick, Asmo asks if he’s sure since the two seem like the best of friends recently. Satan quotes Sun Tzu saying “If you know your enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles”. A door bell rings and Lucifer tells MC to go get it. It’s Solomon & Barbatos and MC asks them what they’re doing here together. Solomon reveal’s it’s time for their sorcerer’s preliminary exams. (Did MC get all 7 stars already? Or 6 I guess if this exam gives the last star)

Ok so MC has 4 stars the preliminary is for the 5th star and final is for the 7th. Asmo has apparently filled the others on what’s gonna happen. Mammon asks for compensation, Beel wishes MC good luck, Lucifer tells them they should actually fill MC in, Asmo says Solomon had contacted him asking the brothers to help with the exam, MC says “cool what do I gotta do”, Solomon says they have to win a game of Tail Thieves and gets Barbatos to explain, Barbatos complains how Solomon always makes him explain things to people and I completely forgot that Solomon has a pact with Barbatos meaning they must be pretty close, meaning Asmo & Barbatos must be pretty close too and I need to see the dynamic between these 3 more. Solomon is going to use magic to give everyone animal tails and MC has to be the last one standing, if they lose their tail they fail the exam. (AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’d love to see the animal event costumes being used in the main storyline and MC getting a tail? It’s have to be a sheep right?) To motivate the brothers to steal MC’s tail, stealing someone’s tail means they’re cursed to obey one command from you and sure that’s not gonna end in disaster. MC’S A SHEEP!!!!!! I’ve had this idea of what their costume would look like for a while ahhhh Also Barbatos is a bat? Do bat’s have tails? I feel like I should know this… (it apparently depends on the species of bat, given his colour lets just say Barbatos is a devildom bat). MC goes hey so this is 1 vs 8???? And Solomon says he’s giving them Asmo & Barbatos. Mammon brings up the fact that MC can just command them and Solomon says that’ll be against the rules. Barbatos asks if MC can use his or Asmo’s powers and Solomon says it’s fine as long as it’s a direct order from MC meaning they can’t use their powers themselves. MC brings up the fact that since they don’t have a pact with Barbatos they can’t use his powers and to make up for it Solomon gives MC Barbatos’ grimoire which will give the bearer full control over the demon who it belongs to even without a pact. MC has a flashback to the tomb under the HoL and the brothers’ grimoire, remembering that a command powered through a grimoire can overpower a command from a pact & that everything about a demon rides on their grimoire meaning they can never let it be stolen. Levi is absolutely stunned that Solomon has something so personal and precious and Barbatos reveals that he entrusted it to Solomon on his own free will and holy shit Barbatos & Solomon must be way closer than I realised… which even Levi says. Lucifer says if they steal MC’s tail and command them to hand over the grimoire they would be able to read it and Barbatos laughs and says that they’d find out everything about him and suddenly the whole game has become about reading Barbatos’ grimoire (even Asmo seems interested), which Solomon seems pleased about since it’s given all the brothers a more solid goal. Solomon starts the game.

The brothers all scatter to hide leaving MC, Asmo and Barbatos in the living room. Barbatos says the brother’s have probably left to find a place they can use to their advantage and that if they are able to figure out what that place would be for each brother they could make strategies to counteract them. Asmo swoons about how Barbatos is the whole package by being handsome and intelligent. Asmo says this makes him more interested in finding out more about Barbatos and he asks MC if he can take a teensy peek at the grimoire and they immediately shut him down. Barbatos thanks them for being a decent person (honestly the lowest bar to clear) and says because Solomon thought it was the best decision to give MC the grimoire he won’t object but also “we don’t really know each other at all so pls don’t use that it literally contains a record of my entire past” MC readily agrees because “the only conversations we’ve ever had is about tea we’re definitely not ready for any deep therapy sessions”. He’s grateful but emphasizes on it again and MC promises they won’t use it. Asmo complains about this, saying it’ll be impossible to beat the others while only using Asmo’s powers. Mammon hears that MC won’t be using the grimoire and reveals himself, Asmo says he was stupid for not finding a place where he’d have the advantage and MC says maybe this is that place for him, Asmo says that maybe cause this is where Lucifer always ties him up he thinks of this as his home turf. Mammon gets ready to fight Asmo & MC, Barbatos says “lol lemme take care of this and prove to you that I’m dangerous even without my powers”.

Barbatos manages to defeat Mammon and hang him from the ceiling using only hand to hand combat. Asmo tells Mammon if he can’t beat someone using only hand-to-hand combat MC might end up firing him, Mammon gets freaked out MC nods along and asks if they’re serious and they tell him not to worry cause they aren’t, he’s happy and calls MC the best, Asmo just sadly calls MC a simp. Asmo says that Barbatos has tied the ropes looser and that Lucifer ties them in a tight artful style. Whether MC pulls the tale off in one swift movement or gently it’ll tickle. He returns to normal and immediately starts yelling at MC to hurry up an give him an order and Asmo realises how scary Solomon’s curse really is. Asmo says even when Mammon is not cursed MC can get him to do pretty much anything by asking the right way cause Mammon’s whipped, so really they won’t be getting anything new or special. Barbatos provides a solution for this by telling them they can get him to admit something he usually wouldn’t. MC asks him; 1.) who his favourite brother is –  he says, “That’s easy! It’s Lucifer, of course. I’ve always loved him and I always will.” I like to think MC knew exactly what he was going to say and took out their phone to record it to later show Lucifer. 2.) If there’s a brother he’s keeping a secret from – He took clothes and shoes from Asmo’s cupboard and sold them. Asmo swears to kill Mammon once all this is over. 3.) If there’s anything he loves more than money – MC. He says there’s nothing and no one more important to him. He says he loves them and that he’d take them over money any day. Asmo who’s honestly MC and Mammon’s #1 shipper (remember the beach event, and the parfait devilgram and the chat where he got excited when MC smelt like Mammon) laughs and says “I knew it!”. For all 3 Mammon realises what he’s said and tries to take it back. They are later unable to find Lucifer – who would be the hardest to beat according to Barbatos - in the music room, Barbatos recalls Simeon telling him how Satan and Lucifer have started getting along and Asmo says he’s suddenly got a bad feeling.

they don’t find anyone in either Satan or Lucifer’s rooms, Asmo suggests MC using the grimoire to locate Lucifer, MC shuts it down and Barbatos thanks them and tells Asmo to drop it. Asmo asks MC why they have to be so serious despite him loving that part of them. Asmo asks MC if they know what Barbatos can do, how powerful he really is, they say he can see through time and Barbatos agrees with it but Asmo asks him to give MC a more detailed description of his powers since he anyway made them promise not to use his grimoire. He then says he has the power to create a portal to anywhere, including through time but creating portals through time has much more limitations than creating a normal portal to just a different place and that his control also becomes less stable. Asmo asks if that’s why Barbatos doesn’t let him go to the past or future no matter how much he begs. Barbatos says, “no that’s cause ik if I did you’d either fuck some powerful historical figure and mess up the entire timeline or you’d try to fuck yourself and the entire universe would implode”. Asmo calls him mean and Barbatos laughs but does say that since his control through time is not the best a person may end up skipping either backwards or forwards through time each time they pass through a doorway after they travel through his portal to the new time. He says that’s all he’s willing to tell MC. Asmo asks MC where they would go if they could go anywhere. If they say past Barbatos asks if there’s something they want to change or if there’s someone who’s past they want to spy on. If they say future Asmo says he’d love to go to the future to see how much more beautiful he’s become and to see how his and MC’s relationship has progressed. MC asks Barbatos where he’d like to go and he says nowhere, cause his place is by Diavolo’s side. MC asks him why he serves Diavolo and what he did before it – he says he’s not gonna answer cause he isn’t sure if it’s a good idea to trust MC the same way he trusts Solomon. Asmo giggles about how cold Barbatos is but says that’s one of the things he loves about him. Barbatos asks Asmo if he might know where Satan is and he says he has an idea.

They go to the home theatre where one of Satan’s favourite movies – about a deadly monster shark – is playing until suddenly everything goes dark. Someone wraps their arms around Asmo and he squeals telling MC they’re so naughty for wanting to do something here in the dark when Barbatos was with them, Satan tells him that he’s restraining Asmo not embracing him. The lights are off cause despite being brothers Asmo could charm them by looking into their eyes. Asmo complains but also loves the “roleplay” they’re doing and how Satan snuck up behind him and restrained him and now he needs a moment to get his boner down, Satan’s understandably very upset by this. Lucifer ends up sneaking behind MC and restraining them (despite it being dark Barbatos is able to see him coming and tries to warm MC), he’s impressed that they were able to recognise him but says they shouldn’t have left their back open. Barbatos asks why they left him free and Lucifer says he knows MC won’t use the grimoire, even if it’s their last option, cause it would upset Barbatos. Lucifer goes to remove MC’s tail but MC signals Barbatos with their eyes and he sees the remote next to him and grabs it & throws it to MC (so I guess this establishes that Barbatos can see in the dark). MC catches it and presses a quick combination of buttons that plays a movie about three cats going on a journey together. Satan obviously starts gushing about the cats and lets Asmo go, Lucifer calls him an idiot and MC commands Asmo. Satan initially doesn’t even notice Asmo cause of the cats which pisses him off but in the end the roleplay made him excited which made his charm more appealing. Lucifer had used every ounce of his willpower and just managed to escape but they take Satan’s tail.

In the twins’ room Asmo laughs about the face Satan made at whatever his order was and Barbatos says Satan making such a face could signify the end times and Asmo says it’s no joke if Barbatos is saying that. Belphie’s fast asleep in his bed and MC leaves him for later cause it wouldn’t be fair to take the tail now. Asmo wonders why Solomon made this MC’s exam when their final exam won’t give a shit if they’re good at tail thieves or not. MC says maybe he thought it’d be funny to see Barbatos disagrees with thar but Asmo says it’s natural to jump to their own conclusions when Solomon never answers questions and that Solomon hasn’t changed in that way since they first made their pact. MC asks for the story behind it Asmo says Solomon knew exactly what to say to get what he wanted from Asmo but could also dodge questions without making it obvious he was doing so. On the first night he’d met Solomon Asmo had been really depressed cause he’d spotted a cute human but the other people who were hanging around her had stated calling him “evil and wicked and other horrible things” and he couldn’t get close to her (so last yr someone told me the actual biblical story behind this and it’s FUCKED UP and I like to imagine that’s what actually happened in OM! too but Asmo is heavily censoring it for MC. Remember the pretty graphic description Asmo gave to MC about how he’d kill them in S1? Yeah I 100% believe he’s lying to MC about how things went down here). He’d been sitting in a tavern sulking when Solomon had started talking to him. He had listened to Asmo and had been so warm and caring Asmo had accidentally let it slip that he was Lucifer’s brother, they’d drunk the night away and when Asmo woke up the next day he had somehow made a pact with Solomon and HOLY SHIT this is so shady Solomon wtf. Barbatos says it probably wasn’t a coincidence he ran into Solomon and Solomon would have known who he was from the beginning (imagine how pissed off Lucifer must have been when Asmo came back with a pact). Asmo says Solomon and Barbatos meeting wasn’t a coincidence either and Barbatos agrees but says it happened long before Solomon and Asmo made a pact. Solomon had summoned Barbatos using a special incantation that he’d created himself and Asmo’s shocked that doing all that and summoning a demon as powerful as Barbatos hadn’t killed him. Barbatos said that Solomon had actually been on the verge of death when Barbatos arrived. MC asked why he’d risk it to summon Barbatos, Barbatos said that even back then there was something Solomon wanted even more than his own life and that the encounter made Barbatos curious and he wanted to learn more about Solomon and eventually this would lead to him forming a pact with Solomon (given how Barbatos is I’d imagine it took time for Solomon to form a pact with him because Barbatos would need to be able to trust him first). He says that though it’s hard to say what Solomon’s plans are he thinks highly of him enough to trust him with his grimoire. He says whether his decision is good or bad is up to them to judge but that their teacher is a genius unlike anyone else in the 3 worlds. Saying their break’s being long enough they head to the kitchen.

They find Beel eating and Asmo scolds him for using the ice cream maker without permission after Lucifer banned him cause last time he ate so much he got sick. Asmo uses this to blackmail Beel into giving up his tail. Removing it tickles a lot and as he’s handing it over Beel blushes and apologises for “the weird little shriek” he made at the end. Barbatos wonders why the fuck the seven of them are considered to be among the mot powerful demons in the Devildom when this is what they’re actually alike and Asmo says Barbatos should be disappointed in Beel and not the both of them. Asmo says that this whole exam seems pointless when this is what it’s like but when Beel starts begging for orders he tells MC to give one. They ask him what they would like for their final meal ever (the other two options are ‘let’s get romantic’ and for him to feed something to Barbatos) He says one of Simeon’s BLTs but then starts listing food from both the human world and Devildom before ending with apple pie….and isn’t apple pie the answer Beel’s VA gave for this same question? That’s really sweet that they added it.  Asmo says by the time he finished all that he’d have passed his death. Beel’s still begging for orders and they realise the curse is to follow the orders of the person who pulled the tail off and not MC. Asmo gets waaay to excited for this and Beel freaks out and uses puppy dog eyes to start pleading with MC for help, MC tells Asmo to cool it but Asmo says he’ll never get a chance like this again and Beel despairs. And that’s it. Beel’s doomed to his fate and we have no idea what happens.

[bnbc]

1, 2, 6 and 14 for Kou and Goro 🥟🍙

ahhhh thanx a lot for these questions! Obligatory OTP Asks [sorry didnt have time to take a pic]

1. Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ?

Look, in this house we don't really say “I love you” on an everyday basis. For Goro it comes both as a cultural thing and out of his personality, for Kou - from not getting used to hearing it in her ‘family’ and from a state of mind that “nothing changed since I said it, so why?”. I even keep count when this phrase was spoken!

So, using it as an argument is like a super rare case that could happen with very low possibility, but you know what’s funny? IT HAPPENED. I’ll probably translate it one day, so have only one spoiler, it was Kou who said this, but you can imagine THE IMPORTANCE xD

2. What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

I’m afraid both will be predictable and inoriginally at all, and would just hold the other, trying to calm them down and remind that everything is alright and it was just a bad dream. Both would ask if their partner needs something, and both would just hold on to the other and won't  let them go. Amazing unanimity! 

It does happen with Kou sometimes, she has recurring nightmares of being thrown into space alive, or not recognizing her face in the mirror, or being too late, or... well... DOING BAD THINGS. They don't really get her, but sometimes they do, yis.

Gowo’s nightmares are more practical, they are mostly about them being caught or about meeting his former master, or, well, he has a special dream he got after he saw some recording of a certain piece of Heywood trash being digitized. And a cherry on the top, ofc, are dreams about Kou giving up to her cyberpsychosis. 

6. Who would beg the other not to leave? Who has to leave to protect the other?

I wouldn’t use the word “beg” but when I think of such kind of situation I easily imagine Kou’s about to do some risky and stupid shit for the sake of ‘saving’ Goro and him truying to takl her out of it. 

I mean, it literally happens at some point of my timeline, when she is hired to [DATA DELETED], but when she says it to him, he just goes with her simply ignoring all her ‘but’. In his defense she would do absolutely the same. I mean she totally played the  “if u stay I stay too and we both die” card during the great escape outta Tokyo lmao.

14. How do their personalities complement each other? How do they clash?

Look, it became a huge surprise to me, but at some point I realized these two actually have more in common than they have differences. 

Yeah yeah, he’s relatevly calm and grumpy, she’s loud and cheerful, he’s disciplined, she’s chaotic, he’s logical, she’s emotional, he’s introverted, she’s ANNOYINGLY extroverted, yadda yadda, and they clash a lot due this and due their background and cultural differences, but in the core? In the core they are the same picture, or at least a very similar one xD

So idk how to describe it. Imagine some mechanism with some whirligigs attached randomly to its parts, and these whirligigs can hit each other or even break, but it doesn't affect the core, that's them. Oh god, hope I made any sense lmao.

[eledsart]

You cant say you have headcannons for the vampire au and then expect me to not come on anon begging you to share them 👀

anon...... this is exactly what I wanted thank you for enabling me I love u

Story starts in canon timeline but some sects are composed by humans and others by vampires (by birth)

the lans, nies and wens are humans, the jins and the jiangs are vampires

There are strict rules that regulate life between humans and vampires; they aren’t enemies, they often nighthunt together, but vampires absolutely mustn’t turn humans into vampires (idk why but I’m god in this au ok I make the rules)

The wens still try to take all the power, lotus pier falls, the sunshot campaign happens, vampires and humans collaborate to take down wrh etc etc

What really changes is that wwx finds the wen remnants and sees that Wen Ning is like, about to die, and decides to turn him into a vampire

They go hide in the burial mounds bc wwx is an outlaw now

When he is discovered he has to run away alongside Wen Ning and the rest of the wens (I’m not sure about this part but I think that the sects would force wwx to go into exhile (since he can’t die) leaving the wen remnants to be killed, so he decides to turn ALL of them into vampires with Wen Ning’s help) except for a-yuan, who wwx doesn’t want to turn bc of various moral reasons (he’s a baby.... if he turned him he’d remain a baby forever and. idk I think wwx would want him to grow up and live a nice life before, y’know, dying) , so he leaves him in the tree hoping that he’d survive

Of course he’s found by lwj

Lwj has to live the rest of his life without wwx, who cannot return to china, pining sorrowfully until he eventually dies

Wwx pines too and also suffers bc yes

So many letters are written, so many papers painted with lwj’s face, none of them sent, all of them kept in a secret drawer in wwx’s desk

Imagine when wwx hears about lwj’s death.......and HIS SON’S DEATH........... man

Millennia pass

Lwj and a-yuan reincarnate (lwj still adopts a-yuan)

Wwx in the meantime has found the jiangs and has made peace with them so he’s just. living his life. he has a job. the wens are there, also living their lives and having jobs

He has somehow become numb to the pain bc thousands of years have passed so it’s just natural I guess

(Even though, let’s be real, he can never stop looking for his heart, in every place, every country, every century)

One day he goes to the supermarket or something to get coffee bc he might be a vampire but if he doesn’t get his daily dose of caffeine he will die, jiang cheng, do u want your brother to die

He enters an aisle

And sees them

Lwj, looking as gorgeous as ever, hair a bit shorter than how he kept it before but still long, and a toddler, his toddler, a-yuan, in his arms-

He drops his coffee bc of course he does and just. stares. at his soulmate and his son. who are there. in front of him. he can touch them. he can talk to them. which he should really do bc he has been staring for too long and lwj must be getting creeped out

He apologizes and flees instead bc I think that’s really in character of him as he’s a dumbass

They see each other again eventually and they start going out and at some point lwj finds the letters/paintings and is Confused

Wwx is forced to explain everything to lwj

“Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, look at me, I can explain” “Wei Ying... these are dated hundreds of years ago” “I- um. I guess they are” “..... How.” “... promise not to get mad first-”

Lwj immediately wants to be turned into a vampire bc Wei Ying. Please. I don’t want to spend another life without you

Wwx is weak for him and turns him

I’d like to think lwj starts to remember his previous life bit by bit

When a-yuan is an adult he gets turned too

Immortal family gets happy ending

[ashintheairlikesnow]

i know where you’re writing in the timeline right now with the Jake and Kauri fight but... uhhhh can I get a Jake being protective as fuck set sometime in the timeline before that? Because I just. Protective Jake. He’s protective over Chris but Jake protective over kauri???? Need (like if u have time and aren’t too stressed lol)

CW: Recovering whumpee, abuse survivors, past pet whump, referenced dubcon attempts, touch starved whumpee, Jake makes a brief crude reference to metaphorical self-harm

“Jesus, man, take the fucking hint and fuck off.”

Jake’s voice wakes Kauri where he sleeps on the couch folded out into a bed, lying on his side with a pillow hugged close to his chest, buried under a pile of old quilts. Nat buys them from a church down the road that runs a daycare, Jake says, during their yearly Christmas market. A new one every year.

Kauri doesn’t really care where the quilts come from, but he loves the way Jake speaks to him, calm and quiet-voiced, never too long, never angry. He is disappointed by and loves the way that every time he tries to see if he can be grateful for Jake, he is gently pushed away - but then still held, after. 

The touch isn’t the same, but no one holds it back from him. No one leaves him alone in rooms. No one uses refusing him as a way to make him desperate, make him beg.

No one calls him names here, either.

“I’m not going to try and make him talk to me this time, Jake, I just-”

“What? Couldn’t fuck him up enough the first time, decided to come back for round two?”

Jake’s voice is rising. Even as his eyes open, Kauri can feel the woozy relief of the painkillers still moving through his veins, holding back the worst of the bandaged, slowly healing wound that throbs over his collarbone on one side. The doctor they made him see gave him shots, soothing him through his tears, but now the wound doesn’t hurt like it did before, it doesn’t feel hot to the touch, the look of it has changed.

Now it’s just pills. 

Kauri can handle pills.

He shifts, pushing a white-and-pink quilt off from over his head, black curls springing wildly to life as he slowly sits up. At the foot of the little makeshift bed, Keira hums, her sensors picking up his movement and change in heartbeat. She whirrs softly in greeting, her broken wheel clicking.

“Who-... who’s at the door?” He whispers. His heart races as Jake’s voice rises even more.

“Well, we’re all good on our bank accounts this week, so trust me - you can call Nat if you need to meet, but you’re not coming in. He’s not your goddamn knife to cut yourself with ‘cause you’re sad, asshole.”

Vincent Shield, Keira’s soft robotic voice intones, faintly metallic. 

Oh.

Kauri swallows, remembering the last time, meeting the eyes so like his own and then waking up with a pounding headache a few seconds later in Jake’s arms, being carried to lie down in a bed. He hasn’t seen Vince since.

He pulls his knees up to his chest, looking to the side, through the open doorway, knowing Jake and Vincent are just out of sight. The light from the small entryway spills into the living room, giving just enough light to see like if he only stepped through, he would be going... somewhere else. 

His end of the living room, through, is pitch-black darkness, lit only by Keira’s visual sensors, two red dots that give her the appearance of eyes. 

This time, he hears Vince speak. Melodic and fluid, a trained actor’s voice, deeper than it seems like it should be. Kauri knows all of this. It’s his own voice, if he’d lived a different life. A better one.

A life where he escaped Owen instead of loving him.

Kauri’s eyes close as he drops his forehead against his knees, tears building hot and demanding. He misses Owen so badly it hurts, right now, listening to the person Owen actually wanted, less than twenty feet away.

“That’s not fair, Jake.”

“No. It’s not. But that’s how it is. You can’t show up here at fucking midnight and act like you have some kind of goddamn kinship just because you feel guilty. Not only does he not want to see you, which he’s made real damn clear, but-”

“I just want to-”

“Shield, will you listen to me?”

There’s a thump, sound of rustling. Kauri raises his head, hands tightening on the quilt he still has pulled up over his feet. His arms twitch, muscles acting out a phantom race of electricity along his nerves. His collarbone throbs. His throat bobs as he swallows, feeling hands wrapped tightly around it.

I love you, Vince, so much, and you’ll never leave-... can’t leave if you’re dead, can’t, can’t leave me-

Kauri shudders, hearing his own voice pleading in a rasping whisper, begging for his life, on his back next to the coffee table, staring into Owen’s green eyes as black spots danced in and out of his vision.

At some point he’d stopped trying to say he wasn’t Vince. At some point he’d been begging for Vince’s life, laid like wet paper over his own, drying over his face, making him someone else. Someone he was always supposed to be. Someone he never was.

“Fucking Christ, Stanton, I have to work in two days-”

“That sounds like your problem. I’m telling you to leave Kauri alone, I’m not letting you into this fucking house. It’s not good for him.”

“I just want to-”

“Vince.” Jake’s voice drops, deadly soft. Kauri breathes in soft pants, trying to stay quiet enough not to be heard.

Kauri heartrate accelerate, Keira says softly. Adrenaline. Kauri afraid. Keira reassurance provide. Kauri safe. Kauri is good. 

“Keira, I-”

Kauri good.

“I know that you feel guilty.” Jake’s voice stays low. “I know how much it fucking hurts that someone’s out there who took the pain that was aimed at you. I know, okay? Trust me, I get it way better than you think I do. But your guilt will hurt him, and he needs to feel safe here. We can’t keep him safe if he’s scared you’ll show up. He’s already a runner, and he has to know he can leave whenever he wants-”

Kauri hitches in a harsher breath. 

I can leave whenever I want. I can leave whenever I want. I can-

“-and that we can keep him safe. Right now, I have to keep him safe from you, too. Got it?”

There’s a pause. “Jake. This only happened because of me, because I ran-”

“No.” The anger bleeds out of Jake’s voice. Kauri hears an edge of the compassion he speaks to the other runaways with, now. “Vince. They never do it because of anything you did, or didn’t do. They do it because of what’s inside them. That piece of shit never hurt Kauri because of you. He hurt Kauri because of what’s inside of him.”

“Guess you’re the goddamn expert.” 

Jake huffs nearly-silent laughter. Kauri still hears it, though. Some of his fear dissipates. The anger is gone, the danger is fading. “I am even more of an expert than you think I am. Go home, Vince.”

There’s another sound of movement. The door opens and closes. A car starts, sound of gravel, and headlights move past the windows as it drives away. 

There’s quiet, for a moment. The entryway light turns off. Kauri waits for the sound of Jake on the creaking stairs, but instead he sees the rough outline of him in the dark, peeking into the living room, blinking in surprise. “Kauri. That woke you up, huh?”

Kauri swallows, and slowly nods. 

Jake sighs, but he has a slight, reassuring smile on his face, and no anger. “Yeah. I should’ve guessed it would.” He moves into the room, eyeing Keira slightly warily. “Do you need anything, before you go back to sleep?”

Kauri’s heart is still beating too fast. The room is so empty, with Kauri in it alone. 

“Will you... watch TV with me? For a while?”

Jake sits down and shifts until his back is against the back of the couch, pushing a pillow behind him. He grabs the remote off the side table. “Absolutely man. Only TV, though.”

“Right. Only TV.” Kauri stays where he is, knees to his chest. Jake turns on a cartoon show about a family, and keeps the volume low. 

Kauri wakes up when the sun rises, only to find himself draped in the quilts to keep him warm, and Jake back upstairs. A glass of water left for Kauri to drink is the only sign he was ever there. 

---

Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @astrobly @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump ,  @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @moose-teeth

[thequibblah]

directors cut for WTRF? 🥺👉👈 not biased at all obviously just objective third party asking for a directors cut hmmm hmmmmm

literally how could u do this every other word in that fic is an easter egg i can't shut up about..... bestie u are about to have regrets

one thing u should know is that 90% of things in this fic have real-world equivalents and its not even like....... hidden equivalents. serie primo = serie a, for instance. this trend is going to continue and i won't apologise <3

fun fact i named the bar the Bar and the drinks after shapes because i was too lazy to come up with something actually clever

this bit

I’m grinning to myself by the time she approaches my table.

was a very intentional fakeout and if you read this and thought "she" would be lily, feel free to sue me for emotional damages

the biggest conundrum of this AU was, how are jily not going to have met in school when magic exists? the solution was, of course, having multiple magic schools. but i couldn't let one of them have hogwarts, that didn't seem fair. i know i did sort of let lily have it..... but i felt more comfortable making hogwarts a university so there was a legit reason why james wasn't there and in gryffindor (if he'd gone he absolutely would have been)

once solved, i did the fun thing of naming them! ottaline gambol's was easy, i just scrolled through the list of ministers for magic and picked a progressive one. peverell hall was a whim, made all the funnier when lily's reaction is:

Much was made at Otty’s — one of the more progressive magical schools, named for one of the more progressive Ministers of Magic — of schools like Peverell Hall and St. George’s. The latter, I know, is chock-full of pureblooded elite. Peverell Hall is supposed to be slightly better, but still.

dang, it's gonna be funny if she ever finds out james is a descendant of the guy it's named after

fun fact, i included this because peter's question was a real thought i had when reading bond and free, your inspiring writing knows no limits:

The first thing you conjure in Walking Wombat is a yellow quill... “Why yellow?” Peter asked. Eddie gave him a strange look. “Why not?”

i realised i'd put jily in the same conundrum they had in tis the fucking season here:

It’s only then that I remember she’s just bought us drinks. I turn back to my triangle. “Oh, shit.” I suppose I can pawn it off on one of the others.

...but of course the resolution is rather different, and i do so enjoy a james with no filter (aka default james)

I briefly lose control of my brain and my tongue. “Is it too soon to say I’m in love with you?”

by the way, no-filter james will be a theme. wild things sure do run fast but not as fast as this boy runs his mouth!

also, another interesting challenge here was making sure james has a reason to be the way he is in AU. i love playing around with james's childhood/background and seeing how that affects his character while (hopefully!) staying true to who he is. i did that in ttfs by having him move around a lot and not meet the marauders until after the flashback timeline, which is why he's less of a git — he doesn't have the level of comfort in a social setting that canon james has with hogwarts, which is basically his playground from day 2 of first year lol

here, james was probably a fkn nightmare all through school, but of course he gets a big ego check when his quidditch career is derailed. i imagine his years in italy as a continuation of that humility lesson.

I will fully admit I used to be a cocky prick. This is what comes of being a kid who grew up with everything. But one useful thing that the whole fiasco four years ago taught me is humility. I’ve learned how to ask nicely for another chance.

and so much of writing him in wtrf is juggling that typical confidence with the insecurity/fear of losing something he's invested so much in (and has seen slip away before). it's really new to me, because typically i give lily uncertain life circumstances, but i suppose it's both of them in this AU.

the car thing was... i swear didn't start out as smutty, it was purely because i wanted a way to establish lily as muggleborn in a world where the connotations of not having magical parents is very different. more to come on that!

also, come to think of it, by this metric...

I’m now in dangerous territory, since that adds another impressive action to her running tally.

...i think james is already in love with her LOL

this bit:

The street is considered indecent and the downstairs hallway would have our landlady come running at once, so if it pleases Your Honour, we would recommend the sitting room sofa.

...was actually because in draft one lily was a lawyer, but then it was funny enough that i didn't want to take it out, but NOW i realise it makes it sound a little like she's addressing james as your honour, which.... hm. but anyway, we move on

Marc Bolan begs us to get it on through the stereo, vocalising my thoughts exactly.

the song here was initially "you shook me" (h/t @keepingupwithpotters) but i chickened out because zeppelin is SO horny dfjkhgkjs

also, it gave me so much joy to read everyone reacting to lily thinking about her ex (the general vibe was "who the fuck is this guy!!! ew!!!!") — rest assured (or, unassured??) that he has a part to play in all this. anyway, this is one of my fave lines:

He’s just a person, and there’s such a relief in sleeping with James and not the myth of a guy.

because as any come together reader knows....

Just James. Just James. It was never just James.

wtrf lily will learn!

literally the whole world knows i'm obsessed with needle drops that have no subtlety at all, but this one...

We just laugh, tangled together in a sweaty heap, as “Heaven Is in the Back Seat of My Cadillac” plays through the car’s speakers. “On the nose, isn’t it?” James says, sitting up.

...was pure luck, because i was looking up the top hits on the uk singles chart for the week(ish) this scene takes place in so that i could find a song that would realistically play on the radio, saw this, and was like omg the stars really do align

i feel like the thing i enjoy most about writing romance is the importance i get to place in noticing/looking/observing (and sometimes, not noticing!). it's just such a powerful but simple writerly tool, and god knows i am obsessed with pithy descriptions anyway, so this bit i am especially happy with:

James is already waiting, leaning against the car with his hands in his pockets. I feel as though I’m seeing him for the first time, the faint light of the flickering streetlamp catching him in profile: the strong slope of his nose, the hard line of his jaw, the curve of his smile. He studies the facade of our building with open curiosity, and I wonder what he’s looking for.

(one can only imagine james's train of thought in this moment. perhaps "ah. here lives the future love of my life"?)

“Thanks,” she tacks on at the end. I tip my head to one side in confusion. “For what?” “For, I don’t know. Being nice.” She laughs awkwardly. “I don’t do this very much.”

it wouldn't be a quibblah original tee em without some discourse to come about the nature of romantic/sexual relationships, would it? one thing i enjoy about this AU ("one thing" i say as if this isn't the billionth thing in a list) is that i get to write a romantic lily who's squaring that romanticism with what she perceives as the culture of the times. (this is a bit of a staple in all my characterisations of lily, but it is not often paired with casual sex, the complication of all complications!)

oh this bit literally wrote itself like i didn't even pause to think just vomited it out:

In the morning — and it must be early still — the sun streams through Lily’s sorry excuses for curtains with aggression that cannot be ignored. I crack open an eye to find myself sprawled out across her bed, quite literally spread-eagled. She’s attached to my side like a barnacle. Or a very pretty barnacle, anyway.

i'm especially proud of james's voice in this story. i don't often write first-person fic and i was worried how it'd turn out, but i think james as a character/narrator typically colours his own 3rd-person narration so strongly that it ended up a smoother transition than i'd feared!

also i just. i can't resist throwing in comic relief and i hope that this whole segment was a gentle enough preparation for the awkwardness that followed LOL

All of a sudden, the balcony door bursts open. I nearly drop the mug. “What the—” Mary pokes her head around the corner, sporting a righteous smile. “Morning, handsome.” Over her shoulder she shouts, “He’s on the balcony!” I blink. There’s a sound from inside the flat, as if something very large has just been dropped. Then a swear. “Oh, shit,” I say, realisation dawning, “you weren’t looking for me, were you? It’s so loud out here—” Mary cups a hand around her mouth and stage-whispers, “Lily was frantic.” She’s quite violently yanked back, and Lily herself appears in the doorway, slightly out of breath. “Should’ve checked the balcony first,” she says, and closes the door before Mary can insert herself into the space again. “Hi,” I say, which is agreed-upon best practice for greeting a woman you’ve just had fantastic sex with and ideally would like to have sex with again.

to this day i don't know what lily dropped. let's hope it wasn't expensive!

Captained the under-17 English squad at the World Cup some years back, Serie Primo’s lead goal-scorer of last year… Only an injury in what should’ve been his first season at Puddlemere mars his record. I wince reading about it and comparing it to a heap of press clippings. James Potter was hurt, and Puddlemere didn’t fancy paying for him not to play, so they shipped him off to Milan.

(you cannot imagine how much pointed interrogation of my brother it took to gather this intel.) i constantly worry that i've got dates or timelines wrong somehow — you might notice i tweaked under-17, which used to be under-19 until i realised that made no sense (even though in terms of its career importance i would much preferred it to have been u-19.... anyway). i also found out that u-17 football squads don't actually have captains but i said fuck it on that count.

but obviously i started writing this AU for the sports possibilities, only to discover i'm going to have to interfere a great deal with the Timeline (you shall see in future instalments).

god i really went through the whole fic. like i reread the whole thing to do this. here u go clare jfbghjfd

[jaskiersvalley]

just read thru ur whole blog instead of finishing my midterm that i forgot about that was actually due on march 17 and can i just say thank u i don't think i've ever enjoyed hours of procrastination this much 💕💕 (also rip in absolute pieces to the fact i actually have to work on my midterm now)

*Looks at calendar* Well, it only took me a month and a half to get to your ask. I do hope your midterm went okay and you managed to get it finished! While I’m super flattered that your procrastination involved my writing, I’m also feeling a little guilty for distracting you. In honour of the time lost and as thanks for your lovely ask, please have some time related angsty shenanigans.

CW for injury and character death (which is rectified through implication and screwing with time).

Time had a funny way of working. The war was in full swing, Jaskier traipsed after Eskel, writing songs about witchers and their deeds. But Nilfgaard had been gaining ground, there were whispers of a witcher with a child surprise that was taken from him. When winter came again, Jaskier couldn’t go to Oxenfurt, he’d been outed as a spy for the resistance and had a considerable bounty on his head. With nowhere else to go, Eskel offered him sanctuary at Kaer Morhen. He’d been there once or twice before, was familiar with Lambert and Vesemir. They often spoke of another, Geralt of Rivia. Sometimes they were fond, other times they cursed him.

This winter was different. A portal opened up one afternoon and a haggard looking witcher staggered through with a sorceress in tow. They snapped and snarled at each other, obviously tied by destiny against their will.

“Geralt,” Vesemir rose from his seat and looked over the two new arrivals. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Cirilla wants revenge.” Geralt coughed. “She thinks witchers stole her childhood. She wants to obliterate us all.”

There were murmurs from the others and they were all clamouring to get more information. In the end, they settled with some drinks so Geralt and Yennefer could explain. Jaskier listened raptly, sat next to Eskel and looking to him from time to time.

“Cirilla is hellbent on destroying and conquering. Nilfgaard had taken her from us.” Geralt looked utterly world weary. More so than a witcher usually did. Jaskier would know, he’d spent enough time with Eskel to pull him out from a mindset of exhausted self-loathing. It looked like Geralt could do with someone too.

“Yennefer and I were too busy arguing, at odds over where Cirilla would serve best. She wanted Aretuza, I thought Kaer Morhen. Anywhere but Nilfgaard would have been okay. But Cirilla had enough. After one too many arguments, she slipped away one night and went to Nilfgaard, probably to spite us. She now rules with an iron fist and has a thirst for vengeance.”

When Geralt broke off, Yennefer picked up, “There is no winning. She’s collected all manner of allies from rock trolls to dragons. The resistance is dying if not dead already.”

“So you came here to die?” Lambert spat, angry.

“We came here for help,” Geralt corrected sharply. “Yennefer and I weren’t enough. But we found a way that might change the future.”

“What could another witcher do that the White Wolf couldn’t?” Eskel asked.

“Nothing.” It was Yennefer who cut in. “But your bard might be what we need. At every key moment in time that Aretuza had been able to discern before it was obliterated, he was doing something significant. Not enough to change the tide of the war. We think that in a different timeline, where he is the court bard of Cintra, he will be able to influence Cirilla. I can create a time stone, he can pick a moment in time to jump back to and try and change this whole mess. The key objective is to ensure Cirilla likes witchers and sorceresses.”

If anybody had asked Jaskier, he would have called bullshit on the whole thing.

“We’ve seen how he worked wonders with witchers in the public, his songs about the Scarred Wolf and his deeds are sung across the Continent.” Yennefer finished. “I will make the stone and have it ready for tomorrow afternoon. So I will ask that we have a decent meal this evening as it shall be my last.”

Silence filled the room before Vesemir nodded. There was no other choice. Contracts were thin on the ground, people were turning against witchers once again and it seemed that Nilfgaard was coming to Kaer Morhen. That night, they ate and drank as much as they could, knowing that it would be their last.

Yennefer retired to a room. There was no fond farewell between her and Geralt but a slight grudging respect. That night, the witchers stayed up late, staring silently into the dying fire, making peace with their lot.

By morning, Nilfgaard was advancing on the keep, humans and monsters alike bore down the path.

“We’ll need to get Jaskier to the eastern clearing,” Geralt said. “Nothing else matters. Lambert, Eskel, you’ll take flank, Vesemir, you’re rear and I’ll take point. No matter what, we get the bard to the clearing with the stone.”

Everything was left behind in the keep, nothing to weigh them down, not like they were going to have anywhere to go from the clearing anyway. It was a dead end and no escape. In a way, it was brave of them to assume they would make it as far.

When Geralt left to retrieve the stone, he looked grim. It was in a bag, glowing red through the material.

“It’s all of Yennefer’s chaos and time granted to her. Don’t waste it.” Geralt shoved it at Jaskier. “We need to move out. Now.”

There was nothing left to do but go. As agreed, Jaskier was in the middle, hemmed in by four witchers. They started off at a light run, determined to get as much distance covered as possible before Nilfgaard caught up.

It started with small attacks. Forktails and dragons trying to pick them off. At least their swords and signs could fend against the worst, even if Lambert cursed at the burns that ended up covering his arms when caught by surprise from the side.

The creatures were gaining on them, while the witchers could pick up speed, Jaskier was a human and had much more severe limits. He panted and gasped even as Eskel tried to urge him on.

“Keep going we’re almo-” His words were cut off with a grunt as a leshen stepped out from the trees, caught him in his midriff and sent him crashing through the woods. Jaskier turned in time to watch a pack of werewolves jump at him, tearing him apart without mercy.

It was a lot harder to run when tears were blurring his eyes. Almost thirty years by Eskel’s side and this was the unfitting end. Jaskier wanted to stop and cry but Geralt was moving on while Lambert and Vesemir took posts just behind and to the side, completing a triangle.

The clearing wasn’t too far now, it couldn’t be. To Jaskier it had felt like they’d been running for hours. From ahead, there was the whistle of arrows and he ran harder. A thump from behind and Jaskier turned, letting out a strangled gasp.

“Don’t turn around. Keep going.” Lambert snarled as he took rear post, Vesemir lost behind them with arrows riddling his body.

Up ahead, Jaskier could see the clearing and he pushed harder, knowing that some kind of rune circle would help him with the time stone. Someone grabbed him from behind and all but threw him into the clearing. He landed with a pained cry and watched just in time for a dragon to snatch Lambert while another attacked Geralt.

“Jaskier!” Geralt yelled. He was on the ground, blood coating half his face, matting his hair. “The stone. You have to!”

With trembling hands, Jaskier pulled the stone out. He could see Lambert’s broken body not far from Geralt and he sobbed. All he had to do was think of Cintra and then he’d be pulled back in time to the point where he could fix things. Because this wasn’t the end he’d hoped for, neither for himself, nor his witchers. The whole continent was a ghastly, tyrannical place. Soon there wouldn’t be anywhere that was free of Nilfgaardian brutality and oppression.

“Please,” Geralt begged and Jaskier looked him in the eyes, watched as he lay there, not even trying to evade the soldier who raised his sword. Squeezing his eyes shut, Jaskier still heard the sound the blow made. He didn’t want this. Clutching at the time stone, he wished and wished hard.

The world shifted around him, years fell away, aches and pains along with old injuries disappeared. Jaskier opened his eyes mid song, in a tavern. He was eighteen again, a whole life ahead of him. It wasn’t Cintra, that was for sure. Some backwater settlement on the edge of the continent. Looking around while singing, he tried to figure out what he was doing in such a shithole. As he spun, he spotted a figure in the corner, alone and brooding. White hair, armour, nobody going near him. He’d recognise Geralt anywhere. Finishing his song and being pelted by bread, Jaskier took a breath. If this was his mission, he’d accept it. Eskel had been a wonderful travel companion but time obviously thought he was the wrong witcher if they wanted to survive Nilfgaard’s attempts. Jaskier took a deep breath, thinking “well then”, it was time to make things right.

[fmdjoosungarchive]

restructuring task 1

+5 tracker points

1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background.

wc: 365

idk if i’ve said this on dash yet, but i’m treating new famed more or less like an au. in sung’s au, the defining change is that he was let go from gold star when he had his injury as a trainee. it was always my headcanon that they truly were close to cutting him loose anyway, so this is just the other side of that. he had his injury, got plastic surgery to try to appease them into keeping him, and they still let him go. when he went home his parents said alright u tried that now join the fam business n sung freaked bc he realized he doesnt want that for himself so he went to do smth he also hated, and joined the military. while there he still worked on his dance and vocals whenever he had a moment to do so, so that when he was discharged and started auditioning again, he wasn’t so rusty

he is a year younger in this world, just bc of quantum’s age range, not for any other reason. makes him a little less of a cradle robber in his relationship lol which, another change is that daisuke wouldn’t have been his first kiss, just first everything else

quantum is very different from old element and new element, but it’s very in line with what i liked about quicksilver (& has models from that) and he’s a leader! this is an idea ive toyed with a lot over the last three years tbh. at first i didn’t think sung suited a leader position, but he came to show me he’s just a different kind of leader. i liken him to jinki often in this regard. rather than lassoing members in, he supports them being however they are, and takes an intimate/emotional path to gaining their trust and leading them. and while he wasn’t suited for the full business life, what he learned from his father’s teachings helps him in dealing with the company as the group’s representative there (& he loves a good powerpoint presentation)

other timeline stuff for big events in his life are likely to shift but i’m not sure on specifics yet

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group?

wc: 260

as the child of a businessman, he’s never under the illusion that as a company entity, their first priority is their wellbeing. he knows that they are products, and that they’re treated as such. it’s a bit heavier with dimensions than gold star, since gold star makes a more active effort to pretend they care. however, once having accepted that, sung thinks himself and dimensions work well together. he does feel that for a company, they allow himself and his members to be a part of the creative process, as says their motto. he feels much more encouraged to write songs and choreograph under dimensions than he did under gold star, where it felt like he was constantly on his knees begging for the company to take him seriously

as for quantum, sung really loves what they’re about. he’s not a big fan of all (or most) of their songs, though he’s more loving towards a song written by another member even if it’s the same sound he dislikes, but he absolutely loves being focused on performance and concepts. his creative mind works very much on the basis of story and emotion that comes with it, and he feels like quantum’s concepts sometimes to often lean into his tastes. he’s always been a dancer first and foremost (god am i so glad to have his main dancer title back i MISSED u) so focusing on performance is v much up his alley, and his preferred style of dance is through storytelling. he feels the heart of dance is in that

3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?

wc: 281

quantum’s on their first contract still, up for renewal in 2024. at the current moment, he would like to re-sign. however, unlike my others, his re-signing depends more heavily on the other members. if they were unhappy and wanted to leave, sung would want to follow suit, not because he can’t make his own decisions, but because if the reason the members want to leave is because of the company, not quantum, he’d want to try to help quantum continue to live. if that means all of the members leaving in order to rebrand under another company, so be it. he’d like to avoid lineup changes however he can, and ideally would like to be an idol for as long as possible

he himself feels alright about his treatment. he feels creatively stimulated, and appreciated for talents further than his face. if he were to try to negotiate different terms at their contract renewal, part of it would likely be wanting to give members a higher share of profits, especially on releases they’re creatively involved in. sung personally has no use for excessive money, but not all of his members have his background, and he feels more than just the money, it’s what’s fair. he’d also prefer to allow for more creative freedom. as a 7/8 year group by then, he’d think they should be allowed to take the reigns more heavily. and on his personal side of things, he would want dimensions to be more mindful of his schedule. sung enjoys working, but he’s only one person, who doesn’t want to be overworked. these are all just his current thoughts, though, and will probably change before contract renewal comes up

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

wc: 294

his motivations to be ‘successful’ and/or achieve his goals are his family, namely being someone his nephew and niece can be proud of, and someone his parents can feel was worth letting go of. he feels closer to the latter than he did in old famed. his members motivate him to be a good leader, his desire to grow as a creator motivates him to write and choreograph

specific goals could be bigger like his desire for more public recognition. while quantum has a lot more recognition both in korea and abroad than element or quicksilver, sung wants the best for his group. he’d be happy if they stayed where they are with their loyal fandom, but he still aims for more

sung also wants to get better at standing up for himself. he’s best at standing up for others, because he can slap on a bit of bravado in order to help them out, but when it comes to himself, especially with his parents, he’s pretty awful at it

he’d also like to create more for quantum, and others. i/he have a goal for him to write a whole album for someone, so if anyone reads this far and could want sung writing for their muse, hit me up!

he’d like to get married and have children one day. that’s always been a dream of his, and while he knows his career doesn’t allow for that soon, it’s still on his docket

he wants to spend more time with his family, especially his nephew and niece. they’re so new to the world and learning everything, and sung wants to be a part of that. he doesnt want his part in their early lives to be ‘i don’t really remember seeing him back then’

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

wc: 291

at some point, this bitch is gonna have to admit he’s a homiesexual. in his previous version, it was a lot easier for him to ‘i pretend i do not see it’ when it came to that. sung’s very ignorant when it comes to the queer community in korea, so he’s not even really aware of terms beyond gay, maybe trans. but, terms aside, he always thought he was someone who liked women, and daisuke and a couple of others were just outliers. they were the Special ones outside of his jurisdiction that were just too good for him to not notice. aka he believed he was bi. and now, he still does, but i have less faith he’ll be able to hold that up until he dies like i did before, because he’s actually dated at least one woman before in this world. considering the plot has yet to be picked up, i don’t know the specifics, but i do think it’s harder to run away from when the way he treated a relationship with a woman and a relationship with a man were lightyears away from one another. it’s still possible for him to run away from the truth of the situation, but it’s also very possible that one day, his thoughts on it will shake, and everything will click into place (messily,, probably the messiest clicking ever) it would be a difficult thing for him to come to terms with, though i think it’s better for him in the longterm to truly know who he is, and why he acts the way he does, why he feels the way he does about women vs men. it’s also nice just to not live a lie, even if only privately

6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

wc: 523

sung has a pretty filled history of individual activities. most are points claims with a focus on modelling, his radio, and music, though he’s dipped into pretty much ever facet of idoldom, some with more success than others. his ecp expenditures flesh that out a little more, and add a bit more realism, and/or make sense of the group changes. he had a one year modelling contract with the north face, and while official claims aren’t possible, i was inspired by a couple of things rowoon did with them. there was more of a push on an eco-friendly side of things, and there was a bit of dancing. playing into his group position with dancing i feel is fitting, but the eco friendly part i also feel could round out his image more as a good, kind boy who also can be sexy, whereas before, his earlier modelling claims focused a lot more on the sexy aspect, because it fit element and his trajectory there better. here, it makes him more dual sided from the beginning. north face is also just a nice, strong brand that i think is fitting for a pretty boi. i set it a bit after a year out from debut because i feel like that’s the most realistic, especially for a group like quantum that grew audience with each comeback

part of that first year being focusing only on the group ties into his creative claims as well! his first creative claim was with the bside love, lalala on the eternity ep. the nicest part of creative claims being unattached to positions is that all of sung’s claims are the songs in the discography most Him. so love lalala is very jazzy and smooth, and would have served as his first introduction to songwriting, as well as what made him interested in songwriting. then he was a choreographer on error, which is heavily story based, and about the members being a unit, and making beautiful pictures together. i hope to snag intro long journey and outro long journey from the beginning and end of the ateez sector, because they’re beautiful compositions that fit sung’s style, but also having him on both makes him feel like he’s a part of the concept’s creation in an intimate way, which fits with dms. then there’s aurora, which sung partially composed and partially choreographed. the choreography has contemporary flair to it, and the song is a flowing sound that matches that. then there’s partial production on sunrise, which i just love the robotic ass experimental production there, and comp for with u, which i believe ties back into sung’s rediscovering his love of piano. choreo for valkyrie is most similar to error in it’s pretty pictures way, and also has a bit of complex footwork, especially as its point dance, which is also p sung to want to include. and finally, some comp on stand by, which is like a mix of the appeal of aurora and with u methinks? listening to all of his written songs together i feel like really makes a picture of sung’s songwriting so i love that