#absolutely decimated that strawberry

[callmecastiel]

Gave him a strawberry today. He loojs like he committed a heinous crime.

Caught him pogging though.

[crushmeeren]

��� Todoroki/Fem Reader

♡ Master List Link

⇢ Everyone involved in this fic is aged up/18+.

⇢ Warnings; cursing, making out, dirty talk, Shouto is a champ at eating pussy/ass, fingering, vaginal sex, Shouto is a little subby in this

♡ Authors Note; I had to complete the headcannons for my favorite three MHA boys sooner rather than later. I love Shouto, he deserves all the good things and a lot of hugs.

Shouto who comes off as cold, uninterested, a giant dick — but who is so sweet and so loving it makes your teeth ache. Who is the kind of person that writes down facts about you so he doesn’t forget — you accidentally stumbled upon the list in his notes app and promptly cried.

Shouto who never ceases to buy extra of what he’s eating so you can have some too, even if you weren’t hungry in the first place.

Shouto who doesn’t understand social cues very well. Who tilts his head adorably when he’s confused. Who wears a blank, spaced out expression on his face often when he’s unsure of what’s going on.

Shouto who lets you teach him how to read the room a bit easier, to understand body language and tone. Whose pretty smile could melt icy glaciers with its tender warmth. Who is so comfortable with you he makes all sorts of facial expression, which you take as a triumphant win.

Shouto who you met in high school but didn’t date until after graduation. Who you crossed paths with while battling a villain and you caught mid air as he was nose diving from the top of a building. Who was probably a bit delirious because he swears he saw you with a halo, because he “fell in love with an Angel that day.”

Shouto who loves to drink strawberry milk. Who has so many cartons cluttering the fridge in your home it drives you nuts. Who compulsively brings you a glass when he’s drinking some because he’s learned he can show you he loves you by sharing what enjoys. It’s so cute when you get a glass out of nowhere.

Shouto who decides to be a bit “rebellious” after he gets out of high school. Who decides to cut his hair shaggy and short. Who gets a nose ring, pierces his ears and acquires a tongue ring. Who is with you when you get your own body modifications, and often wears jewelry that reminds him of you.

Shouto who claims his absolute favorite thing in the world is to snuggle up with you on the couch. Especially when it’s raining and the two of you are wrapped up in a fluffy blanket burrito, watching movies and napping. If it turns X rated, well who can blame you?

Shouto who is a dry texter. We’re talking Sahara Desert dry. Who does still take the time to send you pictures of things you love while he’s out on patrol, especially of dogs that he encounters. Who gets so happy when you respond in kind, forming your own language with one another.

Shouto who tends to wear a streetwear style when he’s not working. Who likes to wear matching clothes with you. Who even bought you both a pair of matching underwear with your faces on them. You’re unable to resist, you’re technically sitting on his face all day… right??

Shouto who is terrible at almost every video game, but who can annihilate anyone at Mario Kart. You’re definitely not bitter about that. Funnily enough, the best part of game night when everyone is over is watching Bakugou lose his mind when Sho decimates repeatedly.

Shouto who has remained tight knit with Midoriya. Who considers the man as his brother by extension, and who you’ve grown close to as well. Who goes to the #1 hero for help planning you a surprise party by sending Midoriya a series of increasingly concerning emojis until he agrees.

Shouto who loves to eat peach gummy rings. Who you have, on more than one occasion, woken up to eating the candy at 2:00 am. Who offers you one, which you casually eat and go back to bed. Who memorizes your favorite candy and leaves it for you to find everywhere.

Shouto who has told you the story of how he got his burn scar. About his father, his brother and all the horrors of his past. Who opened up to you, willingly sharing a side of himself others don’t get the privilege to see.

Shouto who has taken you to meet his family, to meet his mother. Who added you to the group chat with all his siblings, which is unbelievably entertaining. Who tries to fit his face with more than one expression when he meets your parents, but you make sure he knows he’s perfect for you just the way he is.

Shouto who loves you unconditionally. Who is your soul mate, your best friend. Whose love for you has grown bigger than a California Redwood tree. Who becomes your husband, who you love more than life itself. You’d start a goddamn war for this man.

Shouto who enjoys kissing. Who loves to lazily make out with you. Whose cock starts twitching in his briefs when the kiss turns messy. Whose lips get slick and puffy as they press together consistently with yours. Who eagerly slips his tongue into your mouth, sucking on it and sinking his teeth into your bottom lip so roughly it stings.

Shouto who likes to spread you out on your back in bed, stripping you until your only in one of his large T-shirts. Who leers at you when he pushes it up your belly, gently letting it catch on your tits until he can watch them fall and bounce. Who makes you keep the shirt up around your collarbone when he sucks on your nipples.

Shouto who bites the skin on your sternum, plush lips tickling your belly as he makes his way to your pussy. Who grips the bottoms of your thighs and presses them backwards to your chest. Who stares at you with heavy lidded eyes as he licks from your pussy to your clit, making sure to swirl the cold metal of his tongue ring around it.

Shouto whose eyes flutter closed while he eats you out. Who makes you cry out when he sucks your clit, tongue ring passing over it with each methodical swipe of his tongue. Who praises you murmuring “your pussy is amazing angel, will you let me eat your ass? pretty please?”

Shouto who strips you both. Whose flushed cock stands full and heavy when you see it. Who flips you, yanking your ass in the air and shoving your face into the sheets. Who spanks you unforgivingly and grips the thick flesh of your ass to spread you open. Who chills his tongue ring even more and kitten licks at your rim until you want to scream.

Shouto who shoves two fingers in your pussy without warning. Who curls and thrusts them as he sucks on your rim until you cum so hard you see stars. Who pulls away from you, stroking himself for relief and speaks with a wrecked voice pleading “I want to put my cock in you so badly, can I please princess?”

Shouto who is aware you’re a pillow princess, but has hearts in his eyes, cheeks flushing bubblegum pink when you tell him you’ll ride him for a bit. Who props his back up against the headboard with a couple pillows, allowing you to flip around so your back faces him. Who holds your wrists behind your back as you ride him, letting out delicate and whiny moans while you make his toes curl.

Shouto who spreads you with his free hand, eyes glued as his cock disappears into your pussy while you bounce in his lap. Whose dick throbs, breathing hitching when you throw your head back and you moan “fuck Shouto, your cock is so good, you’re gonna make me cum!”

Shouto who reaches his limit, pushing you off his cock and onto your back whispering filthy praise in your ear. Who grips his shaft, teasing your clit with the tip before slipping his dick all the way back inside with one fluid roll of his hips.

Shouto who bends you in half, hooking your knees over his shoulders and folding you into a mating press. Who fucks you roughly, hips curling up with the intention to bully your g-spot. Who makes sure you feel each drag of his cock, coaxing you into cumming with a handful of strokes. Who gets you to cum over and over, little water balloons of warm pleasure popping and coursing through you.

Shouto who produces low moans when your pussy squeezes his cock. Who desperately pleads with you to cum one more time because he can’t hold on for much longer.

Shouto who makes you feel dizzy as you chase your pleasure once more while folded as a pretzel. Who cums instantly when your sweet cries hit his ears, praising and encouraging him all at once. Who pushes into the hilt, grinding against you as he bursts at the seams, panting to catch his breath.

Shouto who giggles with you as he untangles your limbs. Who flops down beside you, lacing your fingers together as you enjoy the leftover bliss.

Shouto who eventually gets up to clean you both. Who finds the shirt you were previously wearing and some clean panties for you to wear. Who pulls you into a hug, murmuring how much he loves you, planting kisses all over your face. Shouto who then goes to the kitchen and brings you a glass of strawberry milk.

[stickandthorn]

2016 election I was sitting on the floor of my parent’s house eating strawberry ice cream and watching the results on our tv with my aunts and uncles and cousins. 2020 I was on the couch chugging champagne and praying to god Biden’s sorry ass would pull through. Now I just spent like 3 hours sitting in a fire lane near my apartment on my phone absolutely decimating the fresh pack of cigs I bought earlier today. how the years fly by.

[leonenjoyer69]

@nightgalaxy24 and I just came up with the most important headcanons ever:

What candy would Jekyll, Hyde, Lanyon, and Elias like? (In modern day, obv.)

Well, here's what we decided:

Hyde: sugar straws (the big ass ones from amusement parks), fun dip, pixie sticks, cookies and cream Hershey bars, Nerds gummy clusters, sweetarts, poprocks (but he probably chews them), PEZ (not from the dispenser, he opens the pack and eats them all at once) ---his goal seems to be getting the most raw sugar in his system as fast he can

Jekyll: Andes mint chocolates, Almond joys, spree, York peppermint patties, peppermints, butterscotch discs, life savers, Godiva dark chocolate ---likes minty and 'fancy' stuff. Also isn't the biggest fan of super sweet things

Lanyon: three Musketeers, Jolly ranchers, strawberry grandma candies, butterscotch discs, smarties, root beer barrels, gummy bears, Hershey kisses, grape laffy taffy ---I don't even have an explanation for most of these but the old lady candy just feels accurate. He always has butterscotch discs on him for Jekyll.

Elias: watermelon sour patch kids, grape nerds, ring pop, jelly beans, starbursts, baby bottle pop, dumdums, those chocolates that look like rocks, jaw breakers, banana laffy taffy ---lots of chewy and hard stuff, to keep his mouth busy

ALSO Hyde and Elias both like those little candy bracelets and necklaces, but Hyde absolutely decimates his, leaving only the string and maybe like, 2 candies, and Elias picks at them bc he just likes wearing them

Anyways, do with this what you will, lmao

[squishmallow36]

It's all I wish to hear tonight, and you're all I wish to be, and this is how we all fall - Chapter Two

Summary: the garvar fic has turned garvarioli! We've done a bit of a time skip because I didn't want to write the dating and the blushing and the getting to know each other blah blah blah. So now they're just in a relationship and the fact I didn't feel the need to slowburn it is astonishing to me. Anyway Garwin's gonna be joining the Neverseen officially. Yeah that's pretty much the whole plot.

Word count: 3011

TW: drug mention, murder mention, implied sex, swearing. This is the farthest into pg-13 territory I've gone but these idiots demand it.

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @remember-me-in-another-time @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake

The people who aren't on my taglist and I'm sorry for bothering you but you lost your minds on the last chapter so uh you did this to yourself (?): @camelspit @tw-5

On Ao3 (users only because, you know, AI) or below the cut

Previous chapter in case you missed it, but you don't really need it to read this :)

    “You know, if you ignore all the work camps, Sadlitzagvadtka is a lovely place,” Alvar remarks. 

    Ruy’s laugh drags Garwin’s attention from the bubbling Eventide River, bright green as it crashes against the rocks. 

    “I mean, you could say the same thing about the USSR,” Garwin muses. 

    “Yes, but we ignore those parallels, love. I don’t want to have to send you to the gulag.” Alvar replies, crossing one leg over the other as he takes a sip of his choyi. 

    Much like most of the foods of the non-Forbidden Cities, choyi looks nothing like how it tastes. The sludgy green slime is in a direct contrast to its strawberry lemonade milkshake flavor. Although how it doesn’t curdle is apparently “beyond human comprehension.”

    That’s just code for “we don’t know and we don’t want to admit it.” It was annoying at first, but it’s kind of become a running joke. 

    What the rest of the Neverseen doesn’t seem to grasp is that he does the same thing to them whenever he doesn’t feel like telling them about some cursed human shit. 

    They absolutely lost their shit when he told them about Twinkies. If they can’t handle apocalypse-proof snack cakes, there’s a hundred other food crimes several points higher on a logarithmic scale they won’t be able to conceptualize without their pathetic little elvin brains shattering. 

     Like pineapple on pizza. 

    Garwin can’t physically have less of an opinion, but the idea of having to explain the concept to elves makes him want to jump off a cliff. And not in the Sophie-teleportation way. 

    Hey--don’t think about that bitch. First she’s accepted into Yale with a full scholarship and now she has four abilities. Apparently she’s some sort of science experiment. I hope they transposed a decimal place. 

    “What am I in for tomorrow?” Garwin asks after a moment of silence. 

    Alvar opens his mouth, but Ruy interrupts him before he gets the chance. “Cállate, mi vida. Sharing any details would be a violation of the Neverseen code article seven, section three, ‘the council is always watching so don’t discuss confidential shit in public.’”

    “I call bullshit. You people are nowhere near organized enough to have an official code.”

    “Well, yes,” Alvar concedes. “But it’s more fun if you don’t know what’s going to happen. Besides, I’m sure Fintan has cooked up some interesting changes from when we swore fealty, so anything we tell you could be completely wrong by now.”

    “Yes, but I’m sure at least one of you have been involved in the planning,” Garwin argues. 

    “We can neither confirm nor deny that,” Ruy says, admitting his guilt. 

    Garwin rolls his eyes. I picked these dumbasses over going to a nice, normal, human, non-ivy league school ? I mean--at least there’s no finals. I guess. 

    He takes a sip of his choyi.

    “I promise it won’t be that painful,” Alvar says in an effort to remedy the situation, earning himself a glare from Ruy. 

    Garwin leans forward, head resting in his cupped hands. “And when did you become such a goody little two shoes rule follower, Exilium boy?”

    Ruy rolls his eyes behind his addler, because of course he has it on. We’re in public--well, sort of, as there literally aren’t any ogres in a hundred foot radius--and that means we’ve gotta wear the addler. 

    It’s like how Garwin also conditioned himself to wear the same sweatshirt almost every single day one school year like it’s his own personal security blanket but we don’t talk about that. 

    But now the elves have stupid capes, so that solves that problem. Even if he doesn’t have an officially licensed Neverseen cape until probably tomorrow. Unless there’s some elaborate scheme being planned. Which of course there will be. This is what happens when you take three or more gay idiots and tell them to plan something. 

    If it ain’t absolute batshit, what’s the fucking point? 

    Alvar’s smile falls as he pulls out his Imparter. He must be getting harassed once again. This is why Garwin doesn’t have one. Well, that, and the fact that he’s not a legal resident of the Lost Cities. Same thing. 

    ��Y’all can see that I’m busy right now so I can’t answer a hail, right?” he says tiredly. 

    “Yes, indeed.” Garwin throws back the last of his choyi, smiling. 

    “The Fork Man wants me for some shit and I’m having a good day, so he will be getting ignored for a while. Are we really sure I can’t come out to the Bullshit?” 

    “Bullshit” is Garwin’s nickname for the Black Swan because it both represents their ideology and, at least in English, they can be abbreviated the same way. At least his pathetic short human life will be worth something, even if it is just an inside joke that’s more explanation than it’s worth. 

    “You know what Fintan’s orders are, and if you don’t wanna get burnt to a crisp, I’d recommend following them. Now, that doesn’t mean he knows what he’s doing. It’s just a matter of self preservation. I don’t make the rules around here. If I did, we’d have to replace more Councillors than just the one.”

    Alvar rolls his eyes at his Imparter. “The Fork Man is being very insistent. I have a feeling I’m gonna have to drop you two off at home and talk to him. Be prepared for some shit to be going down soon, regardless of whether or not I have a chance to share details.” He turns to his imparter, inventing new swear words just to curse at the Fork. 

    Like he said, Alvar drops Ruy and Garwin off at “home”--their assigned room at a Neverseen facility Garwin’s not allowed to know any details about--to much argument. He shan’t be allowed to have all the fun without them but alas, ‘tis the way the world works sometimes. 

    The next morning, Garwin sleepily blinks himself back to the land of the living, snuggled into the crook of Ruy’s neck, but there’s no Alvar to be found. 

    He better fucking be okay. 

    Ruy’s hand absently twirls Garwin’s hair, and when he notices that Garwin is slightly less dead to the world than usual, he smiles. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

    “It’s still morning? Damn. Guess I gotta go back to sleep. Need my beauty rest.”

    “Bitch, no amount of sleep is gonna help.”

    Garwin huffs, turning away from Ruy. “Fuck you.”

    “So soon after last night, mi amor?”

    Garwin leans back to look at him. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”     

    “Yeah.” Ruy presses a soft kiss to his lips. God damn. If you weren’t so fucking hot, J wouldn’t put up with you. Love you, Rue. 

    Garwin kisses him again, pulling him close. 

    Ruy gently pushes him back. “Finny’s gonna be pissed if we miss the prescheduled time.”

    “Fuck Finny.”

    “Look, I get that you’re polyam. I know, no shit, Sherlock. But there is no way I’m going anywhere near him or near you again if you do. Man’s got his own harem.”

    “Ooh, please do elaborate.” 

    “Let’s see…I’ve heard rumors that he and Bronte are or were a thing. Not sure if they’re still a thing though, considering the war crimes, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were. And then have you ever wondered about the alliance with the Ogres? Dimitar. Fintan. Yeah. Then there’s Fallon, one of the original three Councillors. And I’m not completely sure on this one but there’s a prisoner in Lumenaria and I’ve got mixed evidence but I don’t doubt it. Uh, then there’s J.R.R. Tolkien. You might’ve heard of him because he’s a human. And how could we forget Shakespeare. He’s…also a human. If I remember correctly. I’m sure there’s more that I’m missing because I have actively tried to ignore everything, but yeah.”

    With each name, Garwin regrets his life choices more and more. And more. “What the fuck do you mean Shakespeare? Like, the one of the William variety? The playwright?” 

    “Yeah. Sometimes Finny drops into iambic pentameter just to make us suffer. Are you really sure you want to be exposed to all of the Neverseen drama?”

    “Might gouge my eyes out but, eh, whatever. Sounds fun. If Yale doesn’t want me I guess I’ll have to cause large amounts of havoc instead.”

    Ruy smiles. “I’m going to go foraging for some semblance of a breakfast that doesn’t taste like dogshit. Don’t cause too much havoc while I’m gone.”

    “No promises.”

    Ruy shakes his head as he gets up, joints singing the song of his people--the Rice Crispy elves. 

    Garwin throws on some clothes and inhales breakfast before he’s led to a hideout he’s never seen before. 

    This one is really fucking bleak and really fucking disappointing. There’s probably tetanus on every surface of the grimy, ragged brick walls. It’s the exact kind of place where you should expect to have your body never found, but honestly if they’ve waited this long to kill him, that’s kind of their own poor planning. 

    A set of stairs leads into the even more murder-y looking abyss below. 

    Having no better options, Garwin slowly begins to make his way down without slipping on the mossy, uneven stairs and falling and bonking his head and dying. 

    At the bottom, he finds a room, larger than it seems like it should be, lit entirely by flickering, yellow candlelight. It catches on bottles of what appears to be wine set into racks every few feet or so. 

    He will never admit that this reminds him of a short story he was forced to read--and perhaps even enjoyed reading--in ninth grade English. 

    As Garwin steps closer to the middle of the room where a space has haphazardly cleared, he notices the first of many cloaked figures, white eyed lapels glowing in the dim light.

    In total, around a dozen figures surround him, and he searches for Ruy in the crowd. Well, it’s not exactly a crowd, per se, but it feels like one in the cramped space. 

    It doesn’t take much effort to find him, with his long, dark hair curling out and escaping the hood. 

    That being said, Garwin can tell who most of the figures are without trying. From Umber’s absolutely sunny disposition to Fintan’s concave ass, it’s not exactly difficult. It’s just a little dissatisfying that Alvar isn’t there.

    Fintan lowers his hood like it’s some huge reveal, whispering ominously, “Garwin Chang. You wish to join our order?”

    Garwin nods. “That’s…kind of why I’m down here. Although these wine bottles do look like they could be some fun.”

    A low, overprotective growl echoes behind him as his fingers trace the label written in fancy Trollish. One of the many, many languages not on Duolingo that no one bothered to teach him how to read. Hell, most of the time he can barely read English but that’s an issue for a different day. 

    “I trust you know you’re the first non-member of an intelligent species to join our ranks in a long while,” Fintan says. Garwin’s hand falls to his side. 

    “I wouldn’t exactly call Ruy intelligent, but okay.”

    That got a couple of snickers out of the crowd and a death glare from Ruy despite most of his face being cast in shadow. 

    “Well, you got me there. I was prepared to make a convoluted line of reasoning like I’m hopped up on a cola before all of those pesky safety regulations were introduced, but you made it for me instead.”

    Wait, is he an old man bitching about New Coke or is referring to when the recipe had cocaine? Or just…caffeine? And sugar? Any of the above interpretations are fucking hilarious, so it doesn’t matter which is true. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t an objectively best answer. 

    “The rest of the requirements are simple: do you promise to do everything in your power to help our world?”

    “Yeah, sure. Why not?” Garwin shrugs, smirking. 

    “Convince me.” Fintan’s icy gaze stares into Garwin’s soul. A threat behind his words.

    “I’ve been seeing Alvar and Ruy for months on end now. Do you really think I would go through all of that if I wasn’t committed? I could’ve blackmailed my way into a Yale scholarship long ago, but I’ve stayed. And for what? Because I almost care about this place not being a shithole. Also because there aren’t any taxes but we don’t need to mention that.”

    “Yeah, the cost of living is real fucking low when you’re mooching off of Alvar,” Ruy mutters. 

    Cállate. 

    …Holy fuck, Ruy has infected my brain. I don’t like this. How dare he keep sprinkling Spanish into everyday conversation? It’s like he wants to prove that he’s not an idiot to this human idiot because he knows, like, four words in a human language.     

    In reality, it’s because he lived in an undisclosed Spanish-speaking country during his time at Exilium and hasn’t broken the habit. But why be reasonable when you can be petty and bitter because he knows more Spanish than you do even after taking it for three years? 

    To be completely fair, he didn’t pay attention and convinced a kid to send him pictures of the homework and cheated on the tests, but in his defense, he didn’t realize he’d need it later in life. At least Google Translate exists all of its glorious inaccuracy. 

    “I bestow upon thee thou official codename: Elay.” Fintan says, bowing his head. “Alvar came up with it so don’t ask me what it means. Normally each person gets to pick out their own, but he was insistent and it’s not important enough to me to argue with him.”

    Yeah, that sounds about right. Gonna have to ask Alvar about it later. Maybe he’s avoiding me because he doesn’t want a full interrogation in the middle of this murder chamber. Yeah--let’s go with that. It’s better than imagining him in a Black Swan murder chamber. 

    Fintan takes a metal rod and heats it until it glows a faint red, bright in the dim light, knighting Garwin. And thankfully not sizzling his ears off in the process. 

    Fintan nods at a hooded figure Garwin only knows by his codename and that he’s a guster. “Trix, if you please?”

    Trix hands Garwin a bundle of dark fabric, emblazoned with a bright white eye. 

    It unfolds like the little bitch folded things always are, causing unattached pieces of concerningly neon fabric to fall to the ground. 

    As Garwin reaches to pick them up, it becomes all too clear that they’re not only bright pink and orange but also a very, very 80s leotard and legwarmers.

    What the actual everliving fuck?

    …and also maybe Fintan did mean New Coke. 

    It’s up to the stars above to decide which is a worse revelation. 

    “You know, Ruy, if you wanted me to wear this, you could’ve just asked. No need for all of this.”

    Ruy flips him off. He’s probably glare-smiling behind the hood though. 

    Garwin drapes the cloak part of the Neverseen uniform around his shoulders. It’s wonderfully heavy, like a weighted blanket, but surprisingly breathable. It’s probably made from a gnomish fabric which is weird because the gnomes hate their guts as much as plants are capable of hate. 

    And now I’ll finally be allowed to know why that is.

     The crowd begins shifting around him, escaping slowly up the narrow steps and light leaping away to god knows where, and soon only Ruy and Garwin are left. 

    “I got an update from Alvar,” Ruy smiles mischievously. “This should be a fun first assignment for you.”

     No fewer than three light leaps later, Garwin is in the Lodestar system, standing in front of a blonde boy with ice blue eyes. He’s immediately recognizable from Alvar’s stash of pictures he keeps to pretend like he’s still connected to his family. 

    He also knows Sophie, a regrettable decision. 

    “Meet our new son: Keefe,” Alvar says, mussing his hair. 

    Keefe flinches away. “Bitch, I’m literally only, like, six years younger than you,” he complains. “Also hasn’t my dad fucked your dad?” He puts air quotes around both uses of “Dad.” Fun family dynamic and it hasn’t even been five minutes yet. 

    “I do believe I was the one who told you about that.” Alvar turns to Ruy and Garwin. “I’ll take first shift babysitting.”

    “Nonsense. I don’t trust Garwin nearly enough to be by himself and you’ve been up all night causing problems and destroying half of Ravagog--”

    “--which is a perfectly normal way to spend an evening, thank you very much.”

    “--so you will be going home and you will take a nap. I’ll make sure Blondie here doesn’t have any tricks up his sleeve.”

    There’s a glint on Alvar’s eye that looks like he wants to argue, but a yawn cuts him off before he gets the chance. 

    Garwin almost has to physically drag him back home, partially from him being tired and partially from him not wanting to go to bed because some days he acts like a toddler. 

    “Sorry I couldn’t be at your coronation today.”

    Garwin kisses his cheek. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure sooner or later, Ruy’s gonna end up doing a whole reenactment except I actually get walled into the wine cellar this time.”

    Alvar laughs halfheartedly. 

    “And, besides. It’s not like it’s gonna change much. Do I still hate the elvin government? Yes. Is the Bullshit still a bunch of useless dumbasses? Yes. Are you still going to tell me shit that’s way above my pay grade? Abso-fucking-lutely. It’s just now I don’t have to steal your cape when it’s cold out. But I will anyway for old times’ sake.” 

    “Unmapped stars, you’re such a little shit.”

    Well, if you can’t make your boyfriend regret being with you, what’s the fucking point? 

  “And yet you’ve repeatedly chosen to not leave me to die in the middle of the neutral territories. So who’s the real winner here?”

    Alvar sighs, shaking his head. 

    God damn, he’s cute when he’s annoyed. 

[noblehcart]

WHAT IF THEY KISSED for liesel <3

Send "What if they kissed?" and I'll write a scene where our muses kiss, even if they aren't shipped together. it is it's own thing and doesn't have to lead to an official ship. a "what if scenario" @musikensangel

" No, Christine- I have to finish this. I refuse to be tempted into distraction. " Because she had at last managed to scrounge the rent for a the smallest shop to begin her dream of owning a bookshop in Paris. Which had been thus far slowly becoming more and more successful. But there was accounting to do, letters to address and now a girlfriend who rather adorably demanded her attention.

With a carton filled with succulent crimson strawberries in hand that were being decimated at the rate the soprano was eating them.

A pout followed at the glimpsed sight. "Cruel, absolutely cruel."

And she tried to focus on her work. Again. But the soft crunch was audible in the quiet flat and the sweetness hung in the air that made her mouth water. It was the light spritely tap on her shoulder that drew her mostly hyper focused attention up from the paperwork and numbers to see her love standing there with a half bitten fruit in hand.

"Christi-"She began again with an almost plead in her tone till the kiss that followed smothered the name. Tangy sweetness melted into her lips as Christine's sweet strawberry breath filled her nose and she melted into kiss. Fingers reaching up to brush blonde strands, she pulled the other closer as the taste of christine and strawberries kept her hooked where she was. A quiet defeated noise followed as she managed to find a way to pull back then lean up again to steal another kiss while her free hand reached to snatch the bitten strawberry.

" As I said-" Liesel scowled though eyes shimmered with amusement before biting into the fruit. "-cruel. Using my two favorites in the world against me."

[nyaagolor]

I absolutely love your Goat Susie design! She's really cute and all the little details you incorporated into her are incredible! Do you have a place where you list your headcanons for her? I would love to read them

ANON,,,,, UR TOO KIND,,,,,,

If you look under the fluffyverse tag that should have everything I’ve already posted for this design!! I put more hc stuff here and actually like. Typed out backstory stuff

Here’s a little diagram of all the designs and where they fall timeline wise, the rest is under the cut so it doesn’t get too long!!

Spoilers for the Starlight Theatre novel ahead!!

I'm putting Lulu (starlight theater character) as her mom. Long story short she was pressured to seduce Haltmann by her caretaker (long story, novel spoilers, etc) but actually fell in love with him, yadda yadda. they had a kid (Susie) who she was born with magical corruption because of all the illusion magic Lulu was using the whole time, which led Lulu to panic and just leave with as much of his wealth as she could

Star Dream ends up causing the portal incident completely on purpose and Susie actually DOES die, but Haltmann overrides the usual "you can't wish people back to life" protocol and wishes for her to be revived, so Star Dream turns her into a cyborg but doesn't actually bring her home because that technically wasn't in the terms and conditions of the wish and whatnot

Susie gets rescued, but Haltmann is too far gone by that point and doesn't recognize her, reacting with disgust (from all the lingering hatred at himself for allowing this to happen to his kid but yknow). Seeing her breaks smth in him and he allows Mother Computer / Star Dream complete control over the company-- so SD immediately mechanizes everyone there. A handful of employees escape, bringing Susie with them, and they all settle on Stellar Station. Susie eventually tries to dismantle HWC from the inside to get her dad back and applies for a job and you know how canon goes

Other stuff: - She wears a full bodysuit to hide the cyborg bits (posting that ref soon) - Ref for what she looks like + how the cyborg stuff works is here - Much like actual goats she will chew on just about anything. The pens in her office are fucking decimated - Does not like novas. or portals. or cats. Magolor is on THIN fucking ice - Being in AD for so long means she's not picky about food in the slightest, even if she pretends to be. That being said tho Haltmann is still her dad, she cannot handle spice at ALL (Magolor thinks this is kind of pathetic and he's right) - Her electrolarynx isn't connected to her mouth at all so she can talk while her mouth is full. Also, she can adjust it to sound like anyone whose voice she can get a sample of, so she can mimic anyone (that's how she took down MK during Robobot, she tricked him into thinking she was one of his crew and got the drop on him that way) - Way more athletic than she lets on, and a pretty scrappy fighter. She lived in AD for years and had to fight off sphere doomers constantly, do not think she is above straight up biting - Her favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry cheesecake

[loudmound]

previous post about male anatomy rlly vindicates my choice in refusing to give ezio abs. he is fucking shredded but he doesn't do that hyperspecific core workout that elicits the formation of abs and his diet consists of a lot of sugars and carbs bcs a) he was a noble and b) he lives in fucking renaissance times, protein shakes do not exist. ezio could absolutely decimate an entire strawberry tart in like a minute and then go out and scale the tallest building you point him at in under 30 seconds.

[tobiosmilktea]

so,, i was listening to music while reading your smau jsksjsh and i just thought,, can i request an angsty one for atsumu, sakusa, kenma (or you can pick which one of em !!) based off of the lyrics, "you're still all over me like a wine stained dress i cant wear anymore" maybe as like, a post breakup thing ??? thank you and ily 💗💓💖💓💗

post breakup w/ atsumu, sakusa, and kenma

a/n: i wasn’t sure if you wanted this to be a scenario or hcs, so i ended up just doing a mix of both

— m. atsumu

i think atsumu’s definitely the type to rebound

especially after a quite serious or maybe long term relationship, the first month and a half he’s usually in his feelings about it

atsumu’s post breakup comes in stages: confusion, hurt, rebound, then acceptance

at the first stage, he’s overall really understanding yet still confused on what he did wrong to possibly lead to the break up, but it’s definitely short lived and only lasts about a week or two

it’s then the hurt stage comes into play and he’s a definitely the type to say that “love isn’t real” while having his four hour sad playlist on repeat for a good month

after the two month point of the breakup, he’s already searching for a rebound all due to the fact that he thinks he’s been hung up over you for way too long

i think he’s well aware that he isn’t really ready for another relationship, but anything to finally let you go

this is probably atsumu’s first time using dating apps and he uses three at the same time

since a lot of people find professional volleyball players hot (i mean who wouldn’t?) he easily gets a ton of matches, but most of the time they don’t go as far as messaging each other

only 1/10 of his matches actually go out on a date with him as after dating you, his standards are just really high and no one else could compare to you

and it just so happens that the rare occasion of finally going out on a date again, he just has to bump into you

atsumu couldn’t remember the last time his heart skipped a beat like this. it was almost as unfamiliar as the first time it happened when he laid his eyes on you. barely three months had passed since the end of your relationship with atsumu, and yet you looked different than before. it wasn’t bad in any way, if anything, you looked even better and magnificent than before.

he wondered what in the hell happened within those three months you were no longer his.

you absolutely sparked under the moonlight with your eyes glimmering as if it were soaked in the finest honey. stunning was a grand understatement. however, within the little rendezvous his gaze had taken to take one last glance at you, there was a sudden hollowing in his chest the moment he laid his eyes upon your date. they were equally as good looking as you and he hated to admit that you two paired so well together.

it was then the chrysalis of his sudden insecurity and yearning for your familiar warmth and silk promises to love him unconditionally would no longer be his. and just like your lingering aroma of strawberries on each and every piece of his returned clothing that you stole, your affect on him refused to disappear like a stain that never goes away.

— s. kiyoomi

this guy is definitely the type of guy who believes that they are moved on when they truly haven’t

unlike atsumu who purposefully find rebounds in order to prove his feelings wrong, sakusa isn’t even aware that he’s still hung up on you

sakusa was very mature about the breakup. he heard you out, understood your reasons, and even offered to stay as friends after a serious, long term relationship with you

although something like this would be expected from a personality like his, i think after hearing so many bad breakup stories from his friends, sakusa literally refuses for his relationship to end the same way

that’s most likely the reason why he acted so mature and literally refuses to let himself be sad over something that ended up not working out

so after a couple months pass after the breakup, he isn’t exactly active in seeking a relationship. he also wasn’t the one who asked the other out on a date, but after a lot of convincing from atsumu, he ended up going out with someone for the first time in months

however, the moment he sees your familiar face sitting across your newest s/o in the same restaurant, he immediately blames atsumu for all this

sakusa’s breath hitched as he took a sip from his wine, choking slightly on the red liquid as his eyes had cast upon your glory sitting at the other side of the restaurant. the contents from his wine glass spilled slightly when he attempted to play it off well.

he hoped you hadn’t noticed him here either as he couldn’t bear the winds of you even after months had passed. despite offering to stay as friends, you two had failed to keep in contact. in sakusa’s defense, it was his only way of truly coping with his feelings still existing for you no matter how hard he tried. he feared the moment he heard your calming voice or even see you for a fraction of a second would his love for you come crashing down on him like a wave of unspoken epiphanies.

the rest of the night, sakusa couldn’t stop himself from casting occasional glances at you and missing you in every which way. from laughing at whatever your partner said to simply your divine look of the evening had interested him more than what his date in front of him had to say.

perhaps it was at that moment—the moment he spilled that wine over him, that you were the stain he couldn’t remove.

— k. kenma

i believe kenma is the type that’s really good at distracting himself after a breakup

he doesn’t notice the way he sometimes forces himself to stream and play video games in order to not get saddened by the fact that you were no longer by his side

while atsumu chooses to prove his feelings wrong and sakusa isn’t even aware of his feelings, kenma is the one who straight up ignores it

he’s so used to acting so nonchalant in most situations that he isn’t really sure what to do now that his heart aches every time he goes on social media and sees that you had already moved on

kenma wishes he could move on as well, but once again, he likes ignoring any negative feelings by distracting himself

i think the only reason why he even landed himself on a date is because one of his new streamer friends asked him out on one during a stream and he couldn’t say “no, i’m emotionally unavailable right now.” in front of 100k+ watchers

he wasn’t even expecting this date to be a big deal until he sees you whispering something in your new s/o’s ear

kenma’s ticking time bomb of a heart was loud enough to be heard over the nightclub’s buzzing beats. he didn’t even notice how close he was to spill his and his date’s drinks on the way back to his table when he found you.

he could’ve swore he stood there for eons before his date had to snap him out of his thoughts to call him over. kenma was just glad you hadn’t noticed his standing figure as it would have at least saved him from anymore humiliation. seeing you happy and in love with himself else besides him was humiliating enough.

the whole night was filled with a single distraction—you. it was ironic, really, how the guy who was so good at distracting himself from his own lingering feelings towards you couldn’t ignore the person who caused it all. how rude of you to make him miss you this much in the midst of a boisterous club and a large crowd. even the shots he forced himself to down just to forget about you had decimated the moment he seared down his esophagus.

if only his love for you expired the same way yours did for him.

[vaynord]

Just visited the spirit guardian realm was nice I felt the energies of the things I interacted with then went through a tunnel with stairs and stuff just dig out nicely then when I arrived I was instantly met by the Buck Guide he told me I need to make sure they realize it's a war and how much is at stake for them to make them fear me so they actually surrender.

The Bucks name is Caring he advised me to actually use the Angels to ask them to participate and to make the Demon they have authority over to fight too. So I'm going to start talking to the Angels soon and actually have them send there legions and army's after A E Koetting and the others that the Angels know are worthy targets.

So I contacted Mehiel one of the 72 Kabalah angels and he was very willing to help and asked exactly what I wanted done I wasn't exactly sure gave some thoughts then asked him if he was me telling him what he would ask to be done and he made it absolutely clear to treat the war like a real war to utterly destroy them leave nothing to chance secure my path. So I smashed for him to do as he suggested and he said yes he also told me I should get ahold of at least 5 more of the Angels.

So I' I talked to second Angel Laviah and I actually got a few glimpses of her she wasn't sure about fighting for me at first but when I told her I was told to get 5 more Angels from Mehiel she agreed to help and I asked if there was so thing she wanted and she responded an apple so hopefully soon I give her an apple offering I can leave it out for her or feed it to animal. She had a really cool red scarf I asked if I could touch it and felt all great when wearing them scanned it more for what it does and it's Glory and makes you realize your worthy of his love and your position. Not the best wording my memory is still sorta sucky I haven't had my meds lately lol so when talking with her I had something cause my mental image to have negative and we targeted the spirit she asked me what I wanted to do at first I thought maybe just make them agree to not fight exc then I just remembered my counseling and instructions so I said I wanted them to be completely decimated, she said she was glad i didn't relent and that she would work even harder then she would of befor and that my enemies will know to Fear God and to Fear me.

Haaiah is an Angel who's page stated that in 7 days of chaos peace and stability and be obtained so worked out good for who the page brought me to She agreed to fight and while speaking with her about my intentions for her actions and I skipped a few times thinking what if they actually kill one of the Goetia or something like that and she said they wouldn't kill them so that made me feel better and yes she wanted me to tell you she says she will protect this world from the vileness atking it. She wanted grapes.

Mehiel wants a strawberry kiwi Gatorade.

Ierathel. just happened to be the next in line and when talking about helping or not we decided I'd read the basics on him and yes the meaning of his name is God who Punishes the wicked. He also frees you from the slanders and those agaisnt your personal development so seems pretty darn great. He agreed to help and is telling me I'm needed in the battle too so I targeted the enemies and then used the weight of there lies to block there throat chakras. Then I targeted them again and placed order to how they will fall into confusion and delusion false vision then told them to enjoy it for soon they would die, I asked God who punishes the Wicked what he thought and he said he liked it better and he believed me when I told them death would find them. He wants tea with Honey in it

Haamiah she agreed to fight and said she will kill actual people during the battle. It's said she governs all that is related to the divine she wants a Snickers bar unwrapped and left out for her and make sure I use love. I asked her what I should prepare for and she told me for the fun I'm going to have and how much I'm going to enjoy myself while devouring the enemy.

Haamiah wanted me to say that anyone who reads this and doubts will know fear.

Ok this will be fifth but I'll probably do more later VaVaLa is how to pronounce her name she agreed to fight with all her angels and the Demon she rules over she told me to make sure I keep my faith and stay with us and guide people. She said I can give offering of a handful of peanuts. Her message to the people is that Love and only Love is why this is happening

[yamchaas]

Yo idk why, but I feel like Tien smells like strawberries 🍓 legit don’t know why 😂

The dude stumbled across some poor old ladies little strawberry patch and absolutely decimated it in minutes

[ieattaperecorders]

Something’s Different About You Lately - Chapter 2

The three archival assistants engage in some highly unprofessional office gossip, showing a lack of respect for the esteemed academic institution that employs them.

Read on Ao3

“He’s going to fire me, I just know it.”

Martin sat miserably at his desk - head down, hands at his temples, trying in vain to banish the tension headache forming behind his eyes. Tim leaned over him, casually tossing one of Martin’s little desk toys from hand to hand. It was a stress ball shaped like a Snorlax, and had done very little to reduce Martin’s stress of late.

“Don’t really think that adds up,” Tim said, “why start being friendly if he’s planning to fire you? And wouldn’t he have, y’know, done it by now?”

“Elias, then. He’s going to fire me and Jon knows about it, so he’s acting nice to soften the blow.” Martin pulled at his hair, dragging a few messy curls down over his face. “Or - - or else he’s just happy I’ll be gone soon. Either way.”

“Or, here’s a thought - -” Tim reached over and set the stress ball down on the desk, about an inch from Martin’s nose. “He’s just decided to be nice. Something nice is actually happening to Martin Blackwood but he can’t accept it, because he’s got worms in his brain.”

Martin glared tiredly up through his hands. “I did ask you to stop with the worm jokes, Tim.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Tim put his hands up. “But that’s a thought, right? He probably just feels bad that you, y’know. . . got attacked by a stalker and her army of flesh eating parasites?”

There was some sense in that, Martin had to admit. It hadn’t been long after his encounter with Prentiss that he’d begun to notice changes in the things Jon said and did. Some of them were nice enough - he snapped a lot less, for one thing. He didn’t grumble and complain over little things Martin did or forgot to do, at least not where Martin could hear it. But other things were just baffling. He seemed to ask after Martin a whole lot more. He’d make strange comments and look at Martin like he expected him to laugh. And more than once, Martin had turned around to catch Jon staring at him with an expression that he couldn’t make heads or tails of. It left him feeling scrutinized. As if it was just a matter of time before he slipped up somehow, made some mistake that would upend his life even more.

Oh yes, and then there was the incident two weeks ago when he’d nearly smashed Jon’s head in with a wrench, and he’d said it was fine and they shouldn’t worry about it. Martin almost had a heart attack with that one. And then, then Jon said to call him if he thought he heard something at night? What did that even mean? Was he concerned that his employee would be making frivolous 999 calls from the institute every time he heard the floor creak if he didn’t keep him from it?

If so, well . . . he probably wasn’t far from right, to be honest. Martin had been doing his best to keep it to himself, but he'd been pretty badly wound up lately. Especially at night, when everyone else was gone and it was just him and a thousand files filled with spooky stories to keep him company. And there was always that sensation of eyes on the back of his neck, no matter how many times he told himself that no one else was there.

To say nothing of the creepy noises. It was an old building, and everything creaked at night. The pipes were especially bad, the uncanny susurration of rushing water that through the walls at night. He tried to ignore it, even block it out with music. But as the long, empty nights wore on, it always crept back into his mind. His sleep-deprived brain making it sound like muffled, unintelligible voices. As if there was something just beyond the walls whispering or singing to him. It made him feel sick inside.

He really needed to get better sleep.

Still. If Jon just felt sorry for Martin after everything that had happened, it would at least explain why he was grumbling less and hovering more. Really, Martin should be enjoying the better treatment while it lasted, because he doubted it would stay for long. Jon probably wasn’t going to ever actually like him. But if Martin could gain some ground with his new boss out of pity, well. That was something, wasn’t it? Better than being hated. And despite everything, he still really needed this job.

Tim’s eyes suddenly widened. He gripped Martin’s arm and smiled brightly, looking over his shoulder to the door.

“Hiya boss,” he called, “how’s decoding Gertrude’s filing system going?”

Martin turned to see Jon enter, a rueful smile on his face.

“It’s a challenge,” he said. “I’m afraid it will be some time before we can expect any progress.”

“We really should come up with a name for it,” Tim replied. “Creepy Card Catalog? Dewey Decimal of the Damned? Oh! How about Old Lady Robinson’s Disaster-o-pedia?”

“‘Disaster’ is certainly appropriate.” Jon's tone was neutral, but he didn't hide his smile. He turned to Martin, setting a mug in front of him. “I ah, I’ve noticed you’re always making tea for the rest of us, Martin. I thought it might be nice if someone else brought you a cup.”

It was the mug that Tim had bought Martin as a gag gift shortly after they’d started working in the archive. The one with a black and white pattern that looked like a Jersey cow, with a pink three-dimension udder sticking out of the side. Martin looked at it, then back at Jon who was smiling expectantly.

“Oh. . . thanks?” Martin smiled back, a little awkwardly. “That’s nice of you.”

Jon’s smile widened. It widened a lot, actually. His whole practically face lit up and it was way too much, and it was weird. Maybe Jon didn’t hear people call him nice very often?

"Least I can do. Given, ah - -" Jon hesitated, as if trying to remember what he was supposed to be grateful for. "Well. Given how hard you've been working, I suppose."

“What, nothing for me?” Tim teased.

“Ah . . . I didn’t think to--” Jon frowned, an expression of mild distress on his face. “But I could? I’ll just be a moment.”

Jon turned back towards the break room, and it was clear that even Tim was startled by that reaction. He’d obviously been joking, setting Jon up for a retort or an excuse to complain. It’s what he'd have normally responded with.

“See?” Martin gestured to where Jon had been standing. “That’s weird, right? That’s not just being friendly, it’s . . . I don’t know what it is. It’s an entire personality change.”

“Hmm. Yeah.” Tim blinked at the doorway. “He’s definitely planning to kill you.”

“Don’t joke about that either.” Martin groaned, rubbing his brow. The stress headache had not left, and he doubted it was going to any time soon.

“It starts with tea.” Tim continued, feigning a solemn tone. “Then, bit by bit, he’ll begin slipping you teeny tiny amounts of poison. Once you’re too weak to fight back or run, bam. Briefcase full of snakes.” He shook his head. “The perfect crime.”

"Come on."

"Snakes can't talk, Martin. That means no witnesses."

Martin sighed and reached for the mug. Whatever was going on, he supposed he was at least getting tea that he didn’t have to make. As he took a sip, a familiar flavor bloomed on his tongue and he choked in surprise.

“Yikes.” Tim looked at him with concern. “Is his tea that bad?”

“No . . . no it’s - -” Martin set the mug down, coughing a little, and wiped his mouth. “There’s jam in it. Strawberry jam.”

“Seriously?” Tim wrinkled his nose. “Who puts jam in tea?”

“I do! Sometimes . . . .”

“And you have the nerve to call anybody else weird?”

“I like it! It’s sweet and - - and anyway that’s not the point.” Martin frowned. “How does he know that? I know I never mentioned it.”

“Eh. He remembers strange things sometimes.” Tim shrugged. “He’ll forget that you had to show him how to use the copier, but he’ll rattle off a thousand details about how it works. He’s probably got an encyclopedic knowledge of how everyone in the institute likes their tea.”

At that moment, Jon’s head appeared back in the doorway. “Tim. I forgot to ask. Do you take sugar or milk?”

“Oh, you know it’s both.” Tim grinned, pointing in Jon’s direction.

Jon nodded and ducked back out. Martin looked at Tim, who shrugged.

“Listen,” he said. “I’ve known Jon a lot longer than you. And one thing I can say about him is this - he’s a prick, but he’s not an asshole.”

“What does that even mean?” Martin sighed, picking up the mug again.

“It means . . . he’s just sort of like that,” Tim gestured vaguely towards the door. “He’s insensitive, and kind of snobby, and when he’s in a bad mood he makes it everyone else’s problem. But he’s not mean-spirited. Most of the time I don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it, honestly.”

“Realize it or not,” Martin muttered into his tea - - which damn it, was delicious and he was going to enjoy it regardless. “It’s not very nice being on the other end of it.”

“Oh, absolutely.” Tim smirked. “Like I said, he’s a total prick. But I don’t think he wants to be mean. And he doesn’t like thinking he’s hurt someone. You want to know my guess?”

“. . . Sure.”

“The whole worm thing made him take a look at how he’s been acting, especially with you,” Tim said. “And now he feels guilty. Covertly figuring out your awful, deviant tea preferences is probably his way of trying to make amends.”

“Mmm.”

Martin tapped Tim’s arm and looked at the door, which he’d been watching more closely ever since the first interruption. Jon appeared with a second cup of tea, this one in a mug that read “Over Sixty and Still Sexy!” in pink bubble letters.

“Here we are,” he handed it to Tim, looking pleased with himself.

“Thanks, chief.” Tim snapped his fingers. “Oh, hey! Almost forgot, I followed up on Statement 0162102. The woman in Sussex who saw a manifestation in her backyard? You know. The one with the uncanny, owl-like features?”

“Oh.” Jon raised an eyebrow. “What did you find?”

“Well. I looked up her address and as it turns out she lives half a mile from an owl sanctuary.”

“Ah.”

“Went to investigate like you said. Really nice old lady. He scones were a little dry, but she had all sorts of interesting knickknacks that she wanted to show me.”

“Sounds profoundly fascinating.”

“Anyway, I managed to tear myself away long enough to check out the yard. Shockingly enough, found some owl pellets there. So, stop me if you’ve heard this one, but--” he clicked his tongue loudly. “Think maybe she saw an owl?”

Jon smirked. “Another one for the discredited section.”

“That thing’s filling up fast.” Tim observed.

“Quite unsurprising, all thing considered.” Jon sighed, feigning disappointment, badly disguising how smug he was about it. Given his attitude towards the paranormal, Martin expected he believed that every statement should go straight into that pile. “Still. Progress is progress, and elimination is a form of progress on its own. I’ll let you know when I have something new for you.”

“Sure thing. Still waiting for my chance to unmask the creepy old mill owner trying to scare those meddling kids off his property.”

Jon laughed, sharp and loud, before catching himself and putting a hand over his mouth. There was something in his expression when he looked at Tim that Martin couldn’t quite place, and he found himself wondering if Jon had any interest in men. If so, it would make sense for him to be interested in Tim. Everyone was interested in Tim.

“Yes, well. I’d best be going,” he added hastily, nodding at Tim and then Martin. “Work to do. Good afternoon.”

Off he went again, ducking through the door and heading back towards his office. Tim turned to Martin once Jon was out of earshot.

“See?” he said, sipping his tea. “Deep down, the man’s a teddy bear.”

“Hmnn.” Martin fiddled with the handle on his mug. “Well. You and Sasha have known him for longer.”

“We were a duo of infamous murderers in a past life,” Tim said, “and now we’re being punished for it.”

“I suppose if you guys think this is normal for him - -”

He was interrupted by the loud thunk as Sasha appeared beside them, setting a box full of files down on the desk next to his. She looked at them both and smiled brightly.

“Oh, are we talking about how weird Jon’s been lately?” she asked. “Because he’s acting super weird, don’t let this guy over here tell you differently.”

“Right? Thank you!” Martin exhaled, relieved.

Tim gave Sasha an annoyed look. “Thanks, Sash.”

“Welcome, Tim!”

“It’s tough for me to say this," Tim leaned back, shaking his head, "but I’m honestly not sure that we can trust him anymore.” 

“Jon?” Sasha asked.

“No, Martin,” he made a show of putting a hand over his mouth, loudly whispering. “I found out he’s got this weird jam thing going on. Highly suspicious.”

“It’s not even that unusual!” Martin gesturing towards Tim. “See, he thinks Jon just feels guilty because I almost got murdered by worms.”

“Well, sure. I could believe that was it if he was just being less of a grouch. But there’s other things.” Sasha leaned in, lowering her voice. “I was talking to Cora today about some of the things in artifact storage? Jon overheard as he was walking by and he got . . . oddly upset. Went off on a whole rant about how there was nothing good down there and it would be better for everyone to keep their distance.”

“Well, I sort of get that.” Martin had been at the institute long enough to notice the high turnover rate in artifact storage. He’d heard stories. “That place is really creepy.”

“Sure. I don’t like going down there anyway.” Sasha shrugged. “But he was so intense about it. Like he’s trying to keep something shut up there . . . not sure what, though. Kind of thinking of taking a look around, just to see if anything came in recently.”

She reached over towards Tim and grabbed the mug out of his hand, taking a sip from it. He glared at her in mock annoyance.

“And you know when I hurt my shoulder just a few days ago?” she continued. “I asked if he’d let me record a statement about what happened, since some of it was a little bit odd --”

“What did happen anyway?” Tim asked, “you keep dodging me on the details.”

“Why stop now?” Sasha grinned, taking another sip of Tim’s tea. “At any rate, he wouldn’t let me just tell him about it. Handed me a form and said that I should write it down and he would read it afterwards. Was insistent about it, too, even though Elias says we should be committing as many statements to audio as possible.” Her eyes lit up. “Oh, and there’s something going on there. Have you noticed the way he looks at Elias now?”

Martin blinked. “Not really.”

“Hate.” Sasha said. “Not his usual - ‘ah, how dare you have the temerity to exist in my immediate area while I’m working’ thing. I mean real, proper hatred.”

She paused dramatically to let that sink in. Martin frowned. He wasn’t entirely sure what it meant if she was right, but he didn’t like the thought of it. Elias was an okay boss, as far as he could tell - not that he had much experience. But there’d always been this edge to him, something in his eyes that made Martin never want to be on his bad side.

“At first I thought it was an ego thing, you know?” Sasha continued. “That Jon had some new ideas about how things should be done around here, that Elias pushed back on them, and now they were having a pissing contest.”

“Thank you for that horrible image.” Tim said.

“But aside from the recording, he’s not doing anything differently. There’s just this tension between them all of a sudden. Feels like something happened.” Sasha continued, taking another sip of tea. “Not that I have a clue what it is. Yet.”

“Okay Poirot.” Tim reached to grab the now mostly-empty mug back from her. “As long as you’re solving mysteries around here, how about you catch the villain that keeps stealing snacks from my desk? Sometimes in front of me, while I watch her do it?”

“Oooh. Dunno, Tim.” Sasha smiled. “Got to deal with one thing at a time, don’t I? Don’t want to overwork myself on an empty stomach.”

“Speaking of . . . I should probably get back to work.” Martin said, glancing at the pad of notes he’d been ignoring since Tim sat down and started chatting with him. “Got a lot to get through.”

Work had been piling up since he moved into the archive. He wasn’t getting the best sleep, and during the day he was distracted too often. Occasionally he’d spot what looked like one of Jane’s worms and have to drop everything to lift up boxes and move furniture, make certain there was nothing there. Not the best circumstances for productivity. Jon hadn’t commented on it yet, but he was sure to notice if he hadn’t already, and Martin didn’t want to spoil whatever tentative good will he’d gained too quickly.

“I can take some of it off your hands.” Tim said. “I’ve got nothing to do anyway.”

“Oh, uh --” Martin hesitated, looking at the small stack of folders beside him. “Are you sure? I mean, if you don’t mind. . . .”

“Sure. Archival assistants gotta stick together, right?” Tim smiled and gave Martin’s shoulder a gentle shove. Martin smiled back, something soft and grateful rising in him at the gesture.

“Well . . . take your pick, then- -” he held up the two folders containing statements he hadn’t started on yet. “We’ve got, let’s see . . . a guy who thinks his car is haunted because it’s been making funny noises and, uh . . . someone who claims her parrot is the reincarnation of her late husband.”

“Thrilling stuff.” Sasha muttered.

“I’ll take the parrot one.” Tim said, holding out a hand for the file. “I’m good with birds.”

Sasha shook her head and sighed. “Is it just me, or have all the cases we’ve been working on been really, really dull lately?”

“Hey, I’m developing a real appreciation for dull.” Martin held up a hand. “The last interesting case I looked into got me locked in my apartment for a week. I’m pretty happy to have something where the follow-up’s probably going to involve recommending a mechanic.”

“Hmm.” Sasha sighed, glancing with disinterest at the files she’d brought in. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. Got some follow-up of my own to do.”

Martin saw Sasha grab her coat off a chair and walk back out the door, leaving the files untouched. He turned his attention back to his own work.

[aristocratic-otter]

Work-in-Progress Wednesday

Thanks for the tag, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz 

I literally have ONE WIP, my COTTA fic, and you’re about to see all I’ve got of it, lol.  It’s going to be a multi-chapter fic with Baz and Simon meeting during the Civil war.  Here you go!

BAZ

My day starts with a horse and ends with a soldier.

Not just any horse, though.  An absolutely gorgeous palomino, with a pale golden coat, and mane and tail so blonde, they are almost white.  A mare, probably only 3-4 years old.  Gorgeous.  

A mare that is currently decimating Mother’s strawberry patch.  I glance around, but see no human presence other than myself on the grounds.  She has a bridle, with reins trailing on the ground, but no saddle, though as I sidle closer, I note thin scratches on her chest and flanks that could have resulted from the girth of a saddle as it was dragged or torn off of her.

She notices me, suddenly, and shys away.  

“Whoa, girl.  Hold still, you lovely thing, you,” I murmur, modulating my voice to a tone that always calms my horses. Her ears perk up and swivel to follow my voice, so I continue talking to her. 

 “Where on Earth have you come from, pretty one?  Do you belong to a neighbor? Or did you run away from the Yankees?  I thought all their horses were dull plodders, but you shine like the moon, sweet thing.”  

By now, she has calmed, and there must be something she likes about my voice, because she slowly, with frequent pauses to consider, paces towards me.  She pauses one last time, just out of my reach, and I cluck at her in encouragement.  I lift my palms towards her and she takes that  last step, and shoves her velvety nose into my hand.  

I gather her reins in one hand as I caress her nose with the other. She huffs a breath that ruffles my hair and then reaches down and head-butts me gently as I scratch her chin.  I laugh, and tug softly on the reins, and she follows me, docile as a kitten as I stroll back to the stables.  As has become my custom, I walk slowly so that I can disguise my limp as a deliberate saunter.  I’m deep in thought as I walk, because I am puzzled over her appearance here at Pitch Plantation. 

I thought I knew all the neighborhood horseflesh, but I’ve never seen a creature like this around here.  But that’s her only logical origin.  While the Yankee army clashed with our army yesterday ten miles from here at the Staunton River bridge, the Yankees were turned back, and as far as I know, they stick to dark bays and blacks for their mounted troops, as uniform as possible.   And they use heavier horses than this beauty; this horse was meant for pulling a light gig for society ladies, if I’m not mistaken.  

I wave away the head groom once I reach the stables, and lead the mare to a stall myself.  Once I’ve settled her into a roomy box stall lined with fresh straw, I fill her water trough with cool, clear water, and fill her manger with fresh hay.  Then, while she mouths the fodder daintily,  I slip in next to her and rub her down, from forelock to tail.  Looking closer, I see that the scratches on her sides have already scabbed over and are healing nicely, so I let them be.  Finally, I pull the mangled bridle from her hand and replace it with a stable halter.  Stuffing the bridle under one arm, I make my way back to the house.

*******************************************************************************************

Apologies if you’ve already posted, I haven’t had a chance to look through tumblr today.  Tagging @pipsqueakparker, @annabellelux, @pipsqueakparker @itriednottothinkaboutit, @pitchpatronus, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @krisrix, @bazzybelle, @scone-lover

[punchbeetle]

Strawberry, key lime and blue moon for Kunikida :3c

strawberry: before getting together, how did your F/O realize they had a crush on you? How did they act around you once they realized they were head over heels?

well u see sometimes u have a detailed life schedule all set up and dont plan to find love for like four more years and then your new coworker shows up and just fucking decimates that shit w/ their bumbling but well-meaning antics and you’re like yeah ok theyre kind of endearing i guess but that doesnt mean anything and then your other fucking coworker starts orchestrating these fucking dates by saying hey, kunikida, lets all go out and get lunch together!!! :D and then not showing up so youre forced to sit there and have crepes and a nice conversation with a nice person who you guess is kind of cute and has a nice laugh and maybe you’re sort of protective of them whenever trouble starts kicking up and one time they grabbed your hand on instinct and your heart skipped a beat but that doesnt mean anything haha what

and then you’re gay 

also he acts basically th same but hes dying on the inside 24/7 bc you cant throw ur plans aside nd just tell someone you like them. 

key lime: how would you describe your self-ship’s aesthetic?

stupid dumb sunshine idiots in love. sticky notes with practical reminders absolutely everywhere.  idk im still thinking about lunch dates. 

blue moon: is your F/O very routine-oriented or do they like to go with the flow? How routine-oriented are you? 

silvie why are you asking me this you KNOW what this man is like. if you take away his schedule he will Die. which is a huge benefit bc my nd by extension asimov’s adhd ass is all over the place 24/7 so having someone who actually knows how to keep shit in order is a huge plus. i started a bullet journal bc of this bitch and i do not regret it. 

[unholyromanoff]

Solitude with you

Hey guys! So this is my first ever one shot/fic I have ever published and I wanted to share it with you! I hope you enjoy

———————————————————————-

It had been a very long two weeks for Steve. The after effects of The Decimation - as they called it now - had left the remaining avengers absolutely exhausted. All he wanted to do was take a hot shower and sleep.

He walked into his room in the Wakanda palace, a smile formed across his face when he saw Natasha curled up on his bed, fast asleep. They had been together for almost two years now, finally giving into their feelings for each other. He was his best self when he was with her.

Her chest rose and fell as she slept, she probably was more exhausted than he was. She looked peaceful, no signs of stress or anxiety on her face. Her red hair fell around her in waves, a bright contrast to the white duvet. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed with her, but a shower was a must needed endeavor first.

He turned on the water, letting it warm up before stripping. The serum normally kept him in a state where he needed little sleep, but this was an exhaustion even that couldn’t fix. He stepped in the warm water, letting it fall over him like rain falling against the ground. His muscles begin to relax as his mind wandered towards Natasha. They had both lost people, and she wasn’t as vocal with her feelings as he was. He just wanted to make sure she was okay. His mind drifted back to a conversation they had several years earlier, as they began to have a rift between them due to the accords.

“We have what we have when we have it”

He smiled to himself. They had each other and they would find a way to kill Thanos and bring everyone back. He was sure of it.

The water began to grow cold, the cue for Steve to get out of the shower. He turned the water off and dried, putting on a pair of boxers. He walked back into the room and smiled again at the sight of Natasha, silently laying in bed as though not to wake her. She was a light sleeper. As he settled in he lightly ran his hands through her hair, kissing her forehead. She shifted in her sleep rolling to face him.

“Steve..” she mumbled, still half asleep.

“Yes my love?”

“Everything is going to be okay, as long as we have each other.”

He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head against his bare chest. And in that moment nothing else mattered, not finding Thanos, not The Snap.

“I know it is. As long as we have each other” he echoed her words, kissing her lips lightly (they tasted like strawberries as always.)

As long as they had each other and the willpower to stay strong. They fell asleep like that, wrapped in an embrace. Legs tangled together and Natasha’s head on his chest. And for the first time in almost three years, Steve felt at peace.

[maneoxyunho]

                            𝘋𝘳. 𝘏𝘢𝘯 "𝘈𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰" 𝘠𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘰: 𝘈 𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘺

what is your muse’s full name and do they have any nicknames?

Born Han Yunho. Legally changed to Dominic Alverez, then changed right back to Han Yunho once he left the States. Most people call him Yunnie. Code name Apollo, he doesn’t mind being called that casually either. Lowkey thinks it’s a pretty badass name.

what do they look like? include hair, eyes, skin tone, tattoos, etc. !

Yunho’s neither tall nor short, standing only slightly above average at 5′10. He’s got a rich, caramel tan complexion, eye such a light shade of blue they might as well be grey, and his hair is dyed a rich, warm brown to cover his natural strawberry blonde locks. 

do they have any distinguishing features such as scars, unique birthmarks, etc.?

Well, he’s got the most adorable little birthmark on the top of his cupid’s bow. Oh, and he’s absolutely covered in scars. His body is riddled with them, inside and out. Old scar tissue from cuts, gouges, burns, and bindings that have healed, but still leave a mark that Yunho doesn’t think will ever fade. He keeps his arms, legs, and upper body covered at all times to hide them. He hates talking about them. 

He’s also got scars that can’t be seen. He was poisoned and mutilated from the inside out, and as a result, the majority of his organs were decimated. Half of his respiratory organs were destroyed, and his stomach along with it. He has issues breathing sometimes, and often keeps both a humidifier and a dehumidifier, as well as an air purifier in the infirmary. He can only eat small, very small, portions of food at a time, so it’s pretty common to see him snacking throughout the day instead of having a real meal. He’s got a very strict diet of things he absolutely cannot eat without suffering a trip to the hospital, can’t take NSAID pain relief— the scars that can’t be seen are arguably worse than the one he hides away. 

what is your muse’s friends and family like? who do they usually surround themselves with?

The only family he’s got is Quinn. Well, he’d consider Q family too, but you get the idea. He tries not to think about that too much, otherwise he’s just going to get upset. As for friends, he’s an absolute peach and he loves making friends. He’s a very social, personable person, and he surrounds himself with anyone who needs a little joy in their life. 

who would you consider the closest person to your muse?

Q/uinn. No Questions asked. 

where was your character born and what was their living situation growing up there?

Born in Busan to a single mother, she worked day and night to be able to put a roof over his head and a meal on his plate, on top of paying for his treatments at the hospital. He didn’t get to spend nearly as much time with his mother before she passed away as a normal 11 year old should have, but during those years, he was loved. He was safe. He was raised to be good, honest, courageous, and kind over all else. Honestly, the day his mother died is the last day he’s ever truly felt loved.

what is your muse’s biggest fear and does anyone know? if so, who, and if not, why not?

Ask The Witch Doctor and find out. 

has your muse ever fallen in love before? if so, with who? did it end well?

Honestly? I don’t think so. He’s always been dedicated to his work, his research, and his patients. He’s always been a career and goal-oriented person, so I don’t think he’s ever really slowed down to think about a romantic relationship outside of a quick lay enough to fall in love. 

what would you find in your muse’s refrigerator right now?

Honestly, not much. He can only eat super small portions, so he has to buy much fewer groceries. Of the limited number of groceries he does buy, though, you’d find a lot of healthy foods. He lives a nearly entirely vegan lifestyle out of sheer necessity. He misses meat so much, but he can’t eat it anymore. He avoids dairy, gluten, processed food, sugary foods, spicy foods, alcohol— and yes, you’re absolutely right. That does leave fuck all to eat. Fruits, veggies, coffee, tea... he mainly eats to live, not because he loves his options. 

what does your muse usually wear? you can describe, link pictures, etc. !

Here!

what is your muse’s strongest memory that they carry around?

I mean, being tortured for months on end is definitely the top contender there. He still struggles with PTSD from those traumas, it’s a wonder that he manages to be so strong, that he still manages to smile. 

Traumas aside? The day he graduated from one of the top medical schools in the state, of course. He will never forget the day all his hard work paid off. His years of dedication to studying disease, of the years spent maintaining a perfect 4.0 GPA to keep his full-ride scholarship. Everything cumulated to that single day, and he’d never been prouder of himself. He knew his mother was proud of him too.