#absolute monsters

[softquietsteadylove]

If you don’t mind, I’d love to hear your headcanons for the Ice Queen X Tyrant King AU as well🥹🫶💕 thank youuu <3

More Ice Queen/Tyrant King headcanons! Let's go!!!

Little Heiress lives in Korea again. She will hate Gil and Thena both until the day she dies. But she has resigned herself to the fact that going after either of them again will result in her death.

Druig is a hacker, like one of the crazy impossible ones in the movies. He taps into surveillance like it's nothing, owns a bunch of networks and servers. He doesn't show up to many meetings in person, but he and Makkari get together when they can.

Speaking of the Lightning Thief herself, she has many talents, but she chooses to stay contracted as a petty thief. She thinks it's more fun and it offers her more variety and the freedom to travel. She has no permanent place, usually renting in small slots of time. When she's in town, she stays with Druig.

Makkari loves hanging out with Thena and Sersi. None of them had all that normal a childhood, so she likes having girl friends to hang out with. Sometimes she breaks into their homes when she wants to have a sleepover. She doesn't do it to Thena anymore, ever since she broke in and they were getting busy in the elevator again.

Kingo really played it down at the time, but he was the one to give Gil Thena's building passcode. He told him that she was miserable, moping around like she'd gotten her heart broken. His instruction to Gil was "fix it".

Imo comes to America a lot more often now, entirely to visit them. And by them, it's mostly Thena. She'll show up and Thena will drop all her business for the day to visit with her. Imo says she's a good daughter. Then Gil will get home, find out they've spent all day together, having tea or chilling or shopping, and he pouts about being left out.

Gil once asks Thena if he's losing his edge. When she asks what he means he pats his belly and says maybe he should quit drinking beer or something. She says she doesn't mind any shape he's in, so long as that shape is alive (and she says she's not romantic).

He does go to the gym though, that is on days when he's not beating people up and disposing of bodies, since rest days are important. It's mostly because, ever since that French guy, he's been even more aware than usual just how beautiful and desired his fiance is.

He's asked Thena once or twice what she wants to do for the wedding. She says that she thought he would have an idea. They haven't gotten very far past that, since they're already quite married in spirit anyway.

They both have their ring tattoos on the left hand, while the physical rings are on the right. Thena takes hers off frequently, whether it's because she doesn't want to get blood on it or because she doesn't want whomever she's meeting with to know she has a weakness like that. Gil never takes his off.

Thena's favourite foods are tteokbokki, carbonara and traditional Russian solyanka, all of which Gil knows how to make deliciously. She grew up with a lot of Russian and European cuisine of course, and even some central Asian dishes thanks to her various nannies and caretakers. But once Gil started cooking Korean food for her, she hasn't looked back.

Imo shows her some things when she visits, but Thena has confessed multiple times with embarrassment that she's a terrible cook. Imo says that's fine so long as she has other things she's good at, like running the business.

Imo is surprisingly violent. She's run the family business for a long time--the business Gil's father married into, she likes to remind him. Imo has enforced so much in her day that she used to get called the Red Queen. Thena only idolizes her even more for it.

Although it's rare, if Thena and Gil argue over the course of a few days, she'll threaten to call Imo. Things resolve themselves quickly.

Gil likes bringing home little treats. Thena always says she doesn't need them or she's not hungry after dinner or something. They're always gone by the next time he looks in the fridge.

Gil loves calling Thena little petnames like Ice, and Sweetness, and Princess, and she even lets him call her baby here and there. But he makes sure to take time to lean in close and whisper Thena at just the right times.

They still haven't discussed the wedding plans, but if Gil were to ask her to go through with a Korean wedding, she would still say yes.

Imo calls the office sometimes and Thena isn't in, but she likes talking to Kingo--thinks he's funny. Thena tells her not to taunt her personal assistant, but Imo is like an orca who enjoys playing with her food before the kill.

[flannelepicurean]

Just make HIM be an obsessive giggly anime schoolgirl who kicks his feets about some OTHER hideous monster of a character, and they blush and swoon and twirl their pigtails at each other. There! See? Now he's just a lil guy! Ignore the fact that they may be flirting by doing unforgivable crimes back and forth, that's just their silly little goofball shenanigans because they're precious beans. Look at how bashful they are! Aaawwwww!!! 😍

hate how having a special interest in a character will turn u into a giggly little anime schoolgirl im like kicking my legs and squealing into a pillow and and blushing and smiling like an idiot and its like Oh yeah no this about a guy who should be in federal prison. yeah. yeah like unforgivable crimes

[swordy-da-goat]

An amorphous black blob thingy that shape-shifts into any hazard related thing.

[starlingsrps]

there's something about you and i.

they’re playing cribbage.

when sid had offered to walk her home from dinner, dorey had thought there was a wink and a nudge in it. an unspoken invitation to a repeat of his visit two weeks ago, picking up where they left off. instead, he’d asked if she just wanted to play cards and listen to the radio or something once they’d been in her room, safe from the prying eyes of mrs. barnes. she’d taken out her cribbage board and given him a breezy explanation of the rules, setting them up on the ancient rug of her room with the bbc on in the background. surely, she’d thought, he’d get sick of it quickly and they could, indeed, get back to where they left off.

but no, here he is in shirtsleeves struggling in breathtaking fashion against her in cribbage. 

“there’s no way you’re not cheating,” he grumbles. 

dorey shrugs and studies her cards, deciding on a jack. “i told you we could play strip cribbage but no,” she arches her eyebrows at him, trying to be intimidating. “i’d go easier on you if it were strip cribbage.”

sid makes a pffing sound and shuffles his cards like that will somehow make them better. “i try to be a gentleman once….”

she rolls her eyes and drops her voice and tries to flatten her vowels. her american accent is terrible and she knows it but she’s not trying for accuracy. “‘i’m not using you for your body, dore. let’s just play cards’,” she snorts and lays down the card, taps the pegboard. “your deal.”

“i do not sound like that.”

“i didn’t say you do. deal.”

he stares at the cards in his hands, brow furrowed like he’s never seen them before. “so i just…”

“just pick a card.”

he hesitantly sets a card down on top of her jack and she groans as she gathers up the cards. “go.”

“go where?”

his face goes blank in confusion. “you - we can’t go over thirty one.”

“but you said suits are ten?”

“suits are ten but the count was twenty and you paired.” he still looks confused and she sighs. “you put a jack on my jack so that’s twelve. it’s thirty two now so we have to start over.”

“i can do basic math, dorey. i can’t keep suits straight for shit.”

she shakes her head mournfully. “you’re lucky you’re cute.” she glances up at him from under her lashes, just to make sure he isn’t taking her too seriously. in the past, he’d always met her sarcasm with better sarcasm but she’s been around literal minded coders for years now - maybe she forgot. he rolls his eyes but there’s enough light in his eyes that she feels safe. “just move the pegs and we’ll start over. i’ll shuffle.”

he moves the pegs back to the starting position on the board and grumbles something under his breath.

“what was that, sidney?”

he grumbles again, turning pink around the ears. “i’ll peg your cribbage.”

it makes her laugh. she wrinkles her nose and continues shuffling cards. “what is that supposed to mean?”

he’s now the same shade as a tomato. “i don’t know,” he mumbles.

“is my cribbage supposed to be my p-“

“dorey, i’ll give you everything i have to not finish that sentence.”

she can’t quite bring herself to stop. “i know there are a lot euphemisms but cribbage…”

he pounces and pins her to the rug, making her laugh and sending the cards flying. the cards are going to be a pain in the ass to gather up but he kisses her deep and thorough enough that she forgets about cribbage. her fingers thread into his hair and she pulls him harder against her. as much as she enjoys cribbage (and winning at cribbage), this is much more what she had in mind.

“dorothea? love, are you alright in there?” at the sweet, thready voice of her landlady, dorey freezes and sid starts to shake with silent laughter into her neck. “i felt a thud.”

“yes, mrs. barnes!” she hopes to god that she doesn’t sound too breathy as sid starts to tug at her skirt hem. she slaps at his hand but he continues. “i’m alright!”

mrs. barnes’ distinctive sniff comes through the door but she doesn’t try the doorknob and shuffles off. 

“i thought you said she was deaf,” sid says.

“mostly deaf. and she said she felt that, you pinning me like a caveman.” 

he grins and nips at her jaw. “that you complaining?”

“no.”

“then shut up and let me peg your cribbage.”

“i’ll give you everything i have to never say that again.”

[fairuzfan]

Forgot the best line!

This is an incredibly evil article that manufactures consent but important to read that this was all the "white house's strategy to release the hostages."

[bluegiragi]

bogey.

early access + nsfw on patreon monster!AU masterpost

[sabertoothwalrus]

I've never seen this posted here and I always have a hard time finding it. wanted to make sure everyone knew that the party spent hours binging a romantic drama together

[royalarchivist]

Slimecicle: What is "graphic Destiel sex"?

(Context: He's playing a game called "Supernatural" and a mod pinned this message)

[kabukiaku]

GUYS MONSTER IN PARIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE go check it out if you can. 🥺🤍✨

[flickerintwilights]

okay yes you’re being very normal BUT. “what makes you think he was a hero?” “because he kills monsters.” “what makes you think that she was a monster?”

“not everyone who looks like a hero is a hero, and not everyone who looks like a monster is a monster”

“…and against all odds, he managed to find his way to a happy ending”

[powerbottomblake]

laios: I'm gonna survive through my trek down the dungeon to save my sister by indulging in my violently intense interest of eating monsters I'm sure that will garner me no enemies whatsoever

laios 10 minutes later after failing 13 social quick time events in quick succession:

[gianteyedcrow]

Y’all think Bucky was built completely different but bc he got his serum from Hydra no one really thought about why that was

Like the Howling commandos are like “oh yeah that’s Bucky over there he:”

- has carried 3 injured men on his back through an active war zone

- has to drink 15 beers before he feels shit

- is the only one capable of physically fighting Steve

- can scale buildings by just fucking jumping up the sides

- Regularly disables tanks with a rifle and his bare hands

“Why the fuck is he like that?”

“It’s just Buck I dunno”

[werewolfaday]

day 105

[cantarelaria]

Holy moly! Your SY Beast peak AU IS AMAZING!!! Just imagine how MANY beasts can actually be held on his peak...

Curiosity killed the cat, but not me since im a horse. What about Binghe? Who is he here?

Hi there 🩷 Thank you for the lovely message 🥰

Beast Peak is my purely self-indulgent au all comfort no angst, so while LQG and SQQ are too busy fighting over BingBing (as they did in canon), SY just waltz in and steals him for himself.

And so it begins the beast peak arc for the protagonist 🐉

[dreamerdrop]

Julian Bashir walks a very fine, maddening line between “self-loathing imposter syndrome who knows almost everyone who speaks to him for more than a minute finds him insufferable” and “incredibly self assured and annoyingly arrogant to the point of a minor god complex”.

He knows he’s attractive, he thinks he’s charming as all hell, he knows he’s the smartest person in the room (while also being acutely aware he’s going to put his foot in his mouth any second now), and he just swings wildly between “I don’t deserve anything I have, none of this is mine, my life is not my own, I am a monster” and “HELL YEAH LOOK HOW COOL AND SMART I AM GUYS ARE YOU LOOKING ARE YOU LOOKING”.

And then there’s episodes that reveal that underneath that annoying arrogance, at the very core of who he is, he really, really just wants to help people, and if he fucks that up he WILL take it personally and hold himself responsible even if there’s no way he could have known and like. Can you imagine what his first patient death was like for him. Can you imagine what a fucking nightmare his brain must be 24/7.

He is somehow as inherently self assured as he is in need of constant validation for his ego because you can SEE him break a little when that ego fails him, even a little, and it’s just.

He’s very fun to write. I hate him. (I love him so much, but oh my god.)

[ozzgin]

I looveee the Monsters x Heartbreaker reader. Especially how reader is a b**ch.

So what about a motherly reader with the monsters? I do love to give those monsters an awakening breeding kink and future family when they meet motherly reader lmao

TW: monster smut, breeding kink, pregnancy talk

I think it definitely adds another layer of possessiveness. Reader is not only a player, but also a caring Darling who just happens to be hornier than the average person. So she will lovingly accept the courting of any monster, with a lot of preparation and plenty of aftercare.

The realization doesn't immediately settle in. Obviously they've never dealt with a human before, so pregnancy is borderline ridiculous and out of the question. The monsters just follow their instincts and filling Reader with their seed is merely a kinky finale to their play.

And then it happens. Maybe it's a pregnancy scare, maybe more knowledge comes to light, but the important conclusion is that Reader can indeed be bred. It's the ultimate way to mark their territory and permanently brand her as theirs. What better way to say "She's mine" than turning her into the mother of their children? Bite marks, scratches, rough handling, they all go away with time. This is permanent.

Except, you know, this flawless logic implies there's not a horde of suitors waiting for their turn. "You're all mine", but multiply it by Lord knows how much. Yet, regardless of the reasoning, the urge prevails. No rational approach would convince the beasts in heat that they should take a step back. Even the ancient, all-knowing eldritch creature is clouded by tremendous jealousy at the idea that some other pathetic brute would gain the upper hand with Reader. Absolutely not.

It's a terribly crass way of putting it, but once this desire develops within the monsters, Reader will be dripping every step of the day. Whatever was happening under the sheets before has now turned into who can fill Reader up the most.

*insert multiple gas pumps meme*

(Ah, yes, that's where the Breeding Olympics from the previous ask come in. I almost forgot. Naturally, only the best of the best may have the chance to procreate with the one and only human of their realm. Funded by the Mayor of Monstertown, the historical event will ensure that Reader doesn't waste her time - and birthing resources - with anything less than elite.)