#about the myriad of parental figures who are about to die in a very short time

[navree]

god every time i see a gifset of tgc with his natural blond hair i get so horrifically angry at the stupid domina show all over again

[night-filled-mountain]

This exchange between Caduceus and Fjord fucked me up:

“It’s another temple to the Wildmother, but it was a...it was a gift. It was a gift to the Allhammer. We’re all...all of us are gifts.”

“Is it something that can help in this situation?”

“It’s where she’s been pushing me.”

“I’ll say it one last time: I would rather get back to the Bright Queen or whoever it is we think we’re talking to with a solution instead of just the problem. Problems get locked away.”

It’s such a perfect contrast between the way the two of them view themselves, their friends, and their journey. And it’s especially fascinating because Fjord has recently started trying to adopt Cad’s worldview, to consult him as a kind of spiritual mentor, but their extremely different backgrounds are getting in the way.

Fjord has always had to answer to people more powerful than himself--and I’m pretty sure he’s always done so with a near-overwhelming fear of rejection. From the authorities and older kids at the Driftwood Asylum to a possible crime boss (I very much buy into the “Fjord has connections to the Myriad” theory) to Vandren to Uk’otoa--and I’d throw in the Gentleman, Avantika, and the Bright Queen for good measure--he’s always been at the mercy of someone whose poor opinion he had reason to fear. Even Vandren, the most (supposedly) benevolent of these authority figures, explicitly told him that “no one else cares about your problems.” In other words, if you let other people know about your problems, you become a problem. And if you’re a problem, they won’t want you anymore. They’ll send you away, or lock you away, or otherwise dispose of you, and you’ll be on your own, facing a world that is largely hostile and uncaring.

So Fjord constantly strives to be the person that other people want or need him to be. With his friends or people they’re trying to help, he’s either unfailingly gentle and courteous or a stern, responsible leader, based on how he reads a given situation. He’s all blustering intimidation with their enemies, and he’s deferential with authority figures, especially those who seem to pose the biggest threat. He also displays a dismissive (even contemptuous) attitude toward the occasional stranger/outsider who is of no apparent use to the group (Kiri, Cali, and Twiggy all come to mind--and even Nott on several occasions pre-Felderwin). This is probably a reflection of the attitude that many people have displayed toward him when they considered him a burden or a problem.

And Caduceus? His life also revolves around pleasing an authority figure and living up to her expectations. But unlike Fjord with most of his bosses and bullies, Cad trusts and adores his goddess, and he believes--no, he knows--that the sentiment is mutual. Rejection is and always has been impossible, because the Wildmother chose him specifically, and she’s guided him along the right path ever since. Which means that his friends are also part of that path, part of his destiny, part of Melora’s divine plan. And that plan must be Good, because Melora is Good. That plan must be infallible, because she is infallible. Which means he is infallible, which means they are infallible.

That optimism, that confidence, that absolute absence of the faintest glimmer of doubt, could not possibly be more alien to Fjord...and yet he wants it. He’s wanted it his entire life. Ever since he was abandoned by parents he doesn’t even remember, he has always longed for an authority figure, a guardian, who cares for him unconditionally, who deserves his full trust and devotion. The closest he’s ever come was Vandren, and just look at the impact that had on him: he adopted Vandren’s accent, and quite possibly his entire demeanor, and that is the side of “himself” that he continues to show to the one family he’s managed to hold onto. All these months into their ride-or-die friendship, all these shared trials and triumphs and tragedies behind them, and he still hasn’t told them about parts of his past, or about Uk’otoa taking his powers away. If he still fears their rejection, imagine how he expects to be treated by the Bright Queen in the face of their failure. Imagine how hard it is to trust the tentative favor of a new deity. To believe that all she wants from him is meditation and an open mind, that his goals and hers are one and the same. To see himself as her “gift.”

So Fjord and Caduceus make decisions for themselves and the group based on two fundamentally opposed worldviews: “Problems get locked away” vs. “All of us are gifts.” (The only reason those views have never clashed is that, as I mentioned above, Cad considers everyone’s individual goals to already be part of the Wildmother’s plan--just so many pieces falling into place. Therefore, he’s been happy [well...reasonably content] to tag along on Fjord’s journey, then Nott’s journey, then Yasha’s, patiently waiting his turn all the while. Which really tracks with Taliesin’s statement in that one Talks Machina episode that Cad was the kid who went hungry at mealtimes because he got overlooked among his many siblings and was too polite to point it out. He trusts others to guide and care for him, to provide him with answers before he even asks a question.)

So much for Fjord and Cad’s different backgrounds. Now let’s talk about the other pair of contrasting lines in their recent conversation: “Is it something that can help in this situation?” vs. “It’s where she’s been pushing me.”

Fjord doesn’t trust authority figures to look out for his best interests. He trusts himself to do that. (He trusts his friends, too, but that trust is still conditional, based on his own ability to live up to their expectations and be of use to them. Remember that he didn’t expect to be rescued from the Iron Shepherds. Remember how he framed what happened to Yasha as her betraying and abandoning the group, because that is the pattern he’s grown accustomed to.) (Don’t ask me how this reading of Fjord can be reconciled with my previous Giant Fjord Post, which was all about how he sees the Mighty Nein as family, not toolbox. I’ve always seen Fjord as ridiculously complex and confusing, and I might have to write a third Giant Fjord Post just to resolve the tension between the first two!) Anyhow, Fjord does not trust authority figures, and he treats each one of them like a puzzle: “What does she want, and how can I/we give it to her so that she’ll let us live/let us walk away?”. His mindset is practical and action-based, hyper-alert to danger and hyperfocused on diffusing it. Powerful people who want something from him are problems to be solved, and he jumps at the chance to figure out what they want and give it to them quickly and cleanly, before he himself--and his friends--become the problem.

But Caducues doesn’t quite understand that position. He thinks he’s answering Fjord’s question in the above conversation, while Fjord seems to see it as a bit of a non-sequitur. Is it something that can help in this situation? he asks, wanting to hear exactly how the kiln relates to the Laughing Hand, the Bright Queen’s displeasure, and the danger these things pose to the Mighty Nein. It’s where she’s been pushing me, Cad says, and what he means is: Of course it can help in this situation. Why else would I be dreaming of it? Why would anyone doubt that every vision she sends me, every word she whispers to me, is perfectly tailored to whatever challenge I’m about to face? The answers have already passed from her to me and from me to you, so why do you still have questions?

Fjord is the absolute embodiment of anxious doubt, and Caduceus is the embodiment of blind faith. Fjord believes that he has to constantly change to suit anyone who has power over him; Cad believes that because the Wildmother has power over him, the whole world will change to suit him. While Fjord is always tensed for betrayal and abandonment, Cad is (almost) always relaxed and open to a sign that will guide him down the right path and put his mind at ease. They’re such a stark study in contrasts...and yet Melora has taken an interest in Fjord, and vice versa. Fjord has come to Cad for guidance, and Cad is all about it. For the first time, Fjord might find a genuinely loving parent, someone he can place his faith in, and someone who will help him have faith in himself--and Cad, meanwhile, may learn a thing or two about doubt...about his own fallibility and his friends’, and even the Wildmother’s...as he faces off against the betrayer gods alongside at least two friends who have helped engineer their release.

...In short, I can’t wait to see where these two and their relationship and this whole plotline goes, and I’m so glad I’ve finally caught up on this show.

[ladykikyo1792]

“Here I See Spring”

Author's Note:

Hello, and thank you for reading! This a short, fluffy one-shot detailing what would happen if Zoisite accepted Ami's offer to move to Earth in the universe of "The Truth of the Silver Millennium," one of my other stories. This story is an AU and non-canon to that actual story, but a while ago "The Path of Supreme Conquest" on fanfiction.net mentioned they'd love to read what Ami moving to Earth and living with Zoisite and being the greatest woman in Earth's history looks like. And...a plot bunny was born. Please enjoy the sugar that is this one shot. You will likely need to have read "The Truth of the Silver Millennium" to understand some of the references in that story, though I ask you to be aware that TTOTSM gets darker in tone. Finally, if you enjoyed this AU and would like to see other AUs of senshi/couples in the TTOTSM, feel free to PM me.

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!

~ladykikyo1792

*

“HERE I SEE SPRING”

She stands before me, panting and nervous, a small bag behind her. This is all, it seems, she has been able to smuggle out with her. The sword I'd reached for- after years of extinct, fighting and training against demons and mobs alike –lays abandoned in the bed beside me. I try to think of a world in which I would strike her down, and I can't. Instead I look at her, trying to figure out how this anomaly of a princess in a blue velvet cloak has walked in my life.

All I have ever fought for, worked for, since vowing to protect Prince Endymion at age fourteen with my fellow knights, has been to bring peace to the Earth Kingdom. Whether that peace is achieved through war or through medicine, I have promised that I will be part of those who bring it to fruition. I am a man of work, of training from before sunrise to sparring and patrolling and in between spending hours in a lab. Unlike my fellow generals, I've had little time or concern for women. I simply haven't been able to even consider my own happiness.

She looks like a mirage, but it's a mirage who's thrilled to see me as she says, "I'm here to see you, of course," she has no weapons, just a bag, and she manages, "And to give you these. A hundred doses of the vaccine for Sesharan disease…" She continues to ramble, something about choosing who I think is most critical to receive them, and I reach toward her, certain she's going to disappear if we touch. But she doesn't, and I touch her hand, and its soft and tiny and delicate and Gaia above I've been trained to kill soft and tiny and delicate, because soft and tiny and delicate often are pretty dreams that I can't afford to have.

I realize, though, as our hands make contact, that my mirage, my dream, my Ami, is here. And she has broken at least half a dozen of her laws to do so. Stealing formulas from the Federation is looked down upon, discouraged by the royals themselves, and I know enough of how they view us to realize that we couldn't possibly have evolved to make these formulas for another four hundred years, at minimum. Ami has not only broken societal laws, but evolutionary laws, and she's entirely unrepentant.

But it's her next words that floor me: "Zoisite, I want to be with you. I know you love me and you want to be with me too, and the only way that can happen is if I marry you before my parents make me marry someone else. I want to be here, on Earth, with you, as your wife. I want this to be the beginning of me- of us –helping all the Earthans. Zoisite, I want to stay with you."

I want to stay with you.

I'm speechless, and first I wonder if she realizes what she's giving up. Her family would disown her for this. Her friends would most likely not be able to speak with her, because the Federation monarchs would support the Royal House of Mercury's decision to exclude her. Her inheritance gone. And while I have money and castle on Earth as one of Endymion's four generals, it's nothing like what she's used to. And beyond that, she's giving up her health. Here on Earth, we don't have near the medicines that they do. It's why they live so Gaia-damn long. If she leaves that behind, even if she tries to replicate their formulas (and I know her, so she has a high chance of succeeding), surely she'll lose some years. Years of health and wealth and family and friends, just to stay with me.

I want to ask her if she's thought this through, but the words die on my lips. Of course she's thought this through. My Ami, my brilliant Ami, would not make a decision lightly. Not like Serenity, not like Rei.

She knows. She knows what she's giving up. Looking at her, I realize she's already given it up.

And her eyes are shining.

I pull her to me and kiss her, watching the blue orbs close as I embrace her, thanking Gaia they are so she can't see the tears running down my face.

*

Endymion is floored, of course, to find a rogue Mercurian princess in the castle the next morning. And I have no excuse to placate him, because I let my selfishness override my duty. For once. But Ami does, and as he paces back and forth in his throne room, running a hand through his ear as if to determine how in Gaia's name he can rectify the situation.

"It's done, Endymion," Ami says simply, and I almost jerk at how she uses his given name. But she's used to it, and as a princess she used to be entitled to use his first name. Though now he's a king- and she doesn't care:

"I've analyzed all possible outcomes. This is the most favorable one. I made the choice on my own, of my own volition. No one forced me. Earth can't be attacked. They don't have grounds- I wasn't betrothed to anyone else, and I'm not the heir."

Endymion looks to stare at her, and after years of training and fighting by his side, I can easily see the warring emotions on his face: admiration for her courage, respect at the depth of her love, pure bewilderment at how he can somehow petition for Federation membership again after this, despair that this is a future he can never, ever, have.

"Ami," Endymion starts, and his chest deflates as he realizes that she absolutely knows what she's doing. There's no turning back for her, and she doesn't care.

I see the smile blossom across her face, more beautiful than spring, when she realizes she's won.

*

We marry two days later. Helios leads us through the ceremony in Gaia's Temple, the sun blazing, seeming to radiate its approval over the two of us, even though the Federation has sent telescript after telescript raging against this injustice. We invite her family to the wedding, though of course they don't come. There are few guests. My parents are dead, and I deliberately have spurned my drunken brother's offer to attend. A few ragtag siblings of mine show up, and though their faces are covered in cloaks (the better to avoid my brother's wrath), they seem happy for me. Endymion can't show his support as a monarch, of course, but I know he's showing his support as a friend best he can- hiding behind a nearby bush to watch the ceremony in silence. Kunzite and Nephrite are allowed to attend, and Kunzite serves as best man where Endymion cannot. Only two people dare to attend on Ami's side, and they are friends of hers: Princess Kagome of the Sun, who I suppose believes she can manage it without repercussions as her father is not yet a Federation member (and she herself is a priestess from a Martian legend), and her own fiancé, Lord Sesshomaru, a dog demon who I've interacted with very little, but know enough about to realize there was no way in hell he was letting Kagome come to Earth unsupervised. The number of empty chairs should faze Ami, but it doesn't.

Instead, Ami walks up the path in the center of the Temple alone, even more emphasis on how this choice is hers. I blink more than I expect to, trying not to cry as the weight of her sacrifice hits me again. She should have been married in a gown of silks, jewelry dripping about her person, blares of trumpets announcing her arrival, attended by her myriad friends.

Instead Ami wears a simple blue gown that used to be my mother's and the velvet blue cloak she wore on her arrival. She has no crown, and the symbol of Mercury peeks through the make-up she's tried to hide it with. She does wear a diamond necklace, and one of my mother's rings (I had been allowed to take it, small, silver, and inferior on her death), but no one would guess, at first glance, who she is.

Helios asks, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

Ami replies, "No one. I give myself."

"You are here of your own free will?"

"Yes," she affirms. Ami holds her hands- soft, tiny, and delicate -out to me, and I take them instantly. This is the first time, perhaps the only time, she's shown any nerves. I don't see regret in her eyes- just a few shaking fingers. I lift one hand to my lips, and Helios interrupts:

"I didn't say you could kiss yet."

I hear laughter, and belatedly, I realize it's us. Kunzite is smirking- the bastard –but manages to maintain a serious air. The bush rustles before going silent.

Helios ignores all of it, before saying, "You come before Gaia of your own free well, and you ask to be married in Her sight. Marriage is a promise like no other, a vow so great it should never be broken," he turns to me, "Zoisite, in Gaia's name, do you promise to love her, honor her, cherish her, and keep her?"

I nod, "I do," and Kunzite finally stops smirking before giving me a small, flat box. I open it, and Ami cocks her head, surprised by the cut steel inside. I lift the tiny tiara, and settle it among her blue tresses:

"Ami, I love you with all that I am. Please take this as a symbol of my promise to honor you as I would honor a queen. I melted down one of my swords to make this. Please accept that as a symbol of how I intend to keep you in my life, how I would give up my weapon, and my life, to protect you," I swallow, and Kunzite offers another box. Inside is a plain silver ring. There's a space there, where I plan to put a sapphire when I get find one worthy of her. But in the interim, this will do:

"Please take this ring as a symbol of how I love you and cherish you. As the circle has no end, as Gaia's world continues without border, so my love for you is limitless," I slip the ring on her finger, next to my mother's.

"I do," Ami says with a smile. She has no maid to attend her, so she looks around for a moment before her hands disappear in her cloak. She pulls out something small, blue, and holographic. I realize, with a start, that this technology we don't have- and this is something of her own invention before she came here.

She's been planning this for ages, the thought hits me like a ton of bricks, and I think I gasp.

Ami offers me the blue ring, and says, "Please take this ring as evidence of how I love and cherish you. It's my own design," she notes, a bit of pride sneaking into her tone, and she grows more and more excited as she explains, "It will project a shield around you, giving you extra protection in battle, so you always return safely to me. It also will allow you to communicate with me, if you press over here, so we can always hear each other, no matter how far away we are-"

Helios clears his throat, and Ami blushes and stops, immediately returning to the actual vows: "As the circle has no end, as Gaia's world continues without border, so my love for you is limitless."

"Gaia, Lady of Spring, I ask you hear these words spoken in Your presence today. Zoisite and Ami offer themselves to each other and to You, freely and without force. You have granted them the gifts of love and loyalty, and I ask that you give them gifts of health, prosperity, and long life in Your service," Helios reaches for a vine behind him, and then takes both our hands, wrapping the vine around them so we are bound together, "I ask that you make their dreams become One, and their souls join, in this life, and the next."

She's still smiling, and the world fades away.

Somehow, I hear Helios give us permission to kiss.

We do, and I feel raindrops on my face.

Somehow, I hear Nephrite murmur that a sunshower is a symbol of good luck.

*

Ami leans over the workbench, fiddling with beakers in front of her. Her lips are pursed, and she's frowning. She barely acknowledges me as the door opens:

"Good, Zoisite, you're here- I need your help. Something is wrong with this formula-"

I sigh, letting my sword clatter on something that a few months ago was my bureau, but is currently covered in textbooks. Ami's friends might not have come to the wedding, but they've all been steadily sending their covert presents in the form of these books. Some insides were hollowed out, filled with vials of precious medicines for Ami to repeat (and these were some of those she couldn't smuggle out herself). I suppose, in their own way, that they care.

Ami startles at the sound of the sword, "Zoisite, are you all right?" She blinks, blue eyes finally taking me in.

I brush it off, "Battle with a demon. Don't worry, we defeated him. Nothing a good night's sleep won't cure me of."

She rushes to my side, immediately ascertaining the source of my bleeding on my right arm.

"Zoisite, this is a lot of blood," Ami murmurs, more or less dragging me towards the work bench. She busies herself looking for gauze to wrap my arm in, trying to find which of her many potions and concoctions will stop the bleeding. I've no doubt she has one, but I don't want her to use it on this.

"It's a cut. It looks worse than it is," I promise her, grimacing when she's not actively eyeing my arm. I shift in my position, not noticing as a drop of my blood falls into the beaker she was fussing over.

Ami admonishes me softly, "You need to be honest, Zoisite. It's okay to admit you're hurt. I'll help you. That's what I'm here for," a smile spreads across her features as she returns and cleans the cut, her teeth worrying her bottom lip, "That's what I promised to do, remember? Speaking of…why weren't you wearing your ring? It should have kept you from getting injured like this."

I wince, partly from the pain of the alcohol she's rubbing in my cut and partly out of embarrassment, "People were saying I was part demon for the way I could repel wounds. I didn't want them to think that. Though looking back on it…I should have just taken the comments." It's foolish, because look at her, giving up her entire life for me- and now she must be hurt. Because of a few rogue moments, I wasn't wearing my ring.

Ami shakes her head in at the idiocy of the situation, "Give me it," and without waiting, actually pulls it from my pocket. She leaves me to wrap my own arm in gauze as she goes to the other side of the table and pulls a tool I've never seen before, making a few adjustments. The ring almost sizzles, but she passes it back to me:

"There. Now you can accumulate all the fake wounds you want. The ring will still protect you, but give you similar wounds to your men around you. It'll be kind of like a hologram. It will look very realistic, but no actual injury. The only one who will know is me," her tone somehow full of love and disapproval all at once, she walks around the table, still standing as she forces it back on my finger, "Promise me you'll never take it off again, Zoisite. I love you too much for that kind of recklessness. And next time something like this happens…ask me for help."

Shame filling me, I look away, can't bearing the thought of meeting her eyes, "I'm sorry, Ami. I'm not used to asking for help."

It's true. I'm the youngest in my family, set for nothing. I joined the military to forge some kind of future for myself out from under the thumb of my drunken older brother. I asked for no help from anyone except from Nephrite, Kunzite, and Jedite. Although I thought I could rely on my fellow generals, if no one else, Jedite's stunt with Rei has given me pause. It made me question the vows we took as knights. Was that all it took to sway us off our path? A pair of pretty eyes? Were those eyes actually dangerous? I'd been asking them for help less, trying to be more and more independent-

Ami takes my hand in hers (soft, tiny, and delicate), "I promised you, 'As the circle has no end, as Gaia's world continues without border, so my love for you is limitless.' That hasn't changed, Zoisite. It won't change. And when you love someone, you help them. Okay?" She kisses me, a soft, dainty kiss on the lips, and I remember that this isn't a dream. Ami isn't going to disappear. She's real, she's here, in flesh and blood, and she chose me. I don't know what I've done to deserve her, but somehow, Ami chose me. I smile at that, thanking Gaia a thousand times for that incredible anomaly.

"Besides," Ami says lightly, "I'll be needing your help a lot, in a few months." Coyly, she looks up at me under her eyelashes. It takes me longer than it should, but at last I put it together:

"How many months, exactly?"

She smiles and my heart stops even though I know what she's going to say, "Nine. Seven and a half now, to be exact-"

Immediately, I leap up from my chair, enveloping her in my arms, peppering her face with kisses. Ami's laughing, but she makes no move to dodge, answering my kisses with some of her own.

"Ami, truly? My love, my brilliant love-" I don't give her a second to answer, continuing to kiss anywhere I can reach- her hair, her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her lips –but I feel her nod against me.

Gaia, I'm going to be a father. Emotion wells up in my throat, and again, those tears prickle at my eyes. I blink them away, trying not to show too much- but she's already distracted.

"Zoisite, what did you do?" Ami scrambles out of my arms, running over to the beaker she'd been puzzling over when I first walked in. Excitedly, she examines it, twisting it back and forth. It's turned a distinct silver color, smooth and shiny like glass in a mirror.

"Nothing," I admit, "I haven't even touched it." I shake my head.

My brilliant Ami. Tells me I'm going to be a father and immediately is distracted by science.

Then I pause, "Wait- I might have compromised its integrity. Some blood from the cut…" I trail off, and her eyes widen:

"Iron. Of course. Of course. Life to create life…" she's rambling now, which she does when she's solved a particularly difficult riddle.

"Ami," I interrupt, going over behind her, "What are you doing?"

"Zoisite. I solved it. Well, you solved it!" she says, "This is a universal antidote. I've been trying to replicate it forever- it was one of the things I couldn't take with me, because it was so heavily guarded –its uses include extending our lifespans."

"Ami…we shouldn't have been able to make this. For centuries," I gape at it, because I don't know how to process this. We've always known Federation royals and their citizens have longer lifespans than us, and it has been put up to a direct results of the evolutionary process. They're farther along than we are. But according to Ami, this, this would help us skip some of those. It would make us equal.

"But look at that," she says, disbelief, relief, and giddiness in her voice, "We did it. Together," she kisses me, and I smile against her. I feel her smile fade though, and pull away, concerned, "What is it?"

"They guard this jealously," Ami replies, "and it could help so many of your people. It'll help our child…"

A child her friends and family will never meet, the rest of the sentence goes unfinished, because they are so much above us. In time, when her friends ascend the throne, things might be different. But it will be a long time, if it even happens.

"Do you miss it?" I ask, not daring to voice the rest of the sentence. The world she left behind, the family she deserted, the friends she saw so often they were like sisters.

Ami pauses, and smiles sadly, "Sometimes, but I don't regret it. After all, Mercury is cold, and frozen, and hard…but here?" she sucks in a breath, taking in the breeze from the window, "Here, I see spring," she takes a minute to collect herself and adds, "Which, incidentally, is when our child will come. And how long it will take to make enough of this antidote for the Earthan population. Those are things I could never have there."

I kiss her.

"You know, Spring is a beautiful name," I murmur against her lips, "A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl..."

"It is," Ami agrees, "but how do you know it will be a girl?"

I shrug, "Just a feeling. And with a mother like you, how could she not be beautiful?" Holding her close, I nuzzle her forehead, "We'll see spring, together."

[kopykunoichi]

The Legacy of Star Wars: An Open Letter to the Writers and Creators of A Galaxy Far, Far Away

“Suddenly the Rebellion is real for you. Some of us live it. I’ve been in this fight since I was six years old!” ~ Cassian Andor

I saw a great meme once that played off that quote, meant to depict an older fan describing to a newer fan how they had been invested in the story of Star Wars from childhood. I could relate. Though I am not old enough to have seen the original Star Wars movies in theater, they were a significant part of my childhood. I remember renting the original theatrical VHS from our local video store all the time when I was little. Then we bought the digitally remastered Special Edition VHS Box Set and I spent the next decade wearing them out! We would have popcorn and Star Wars marathons all the time. My friends and I would always pretend we were in the story. My swingset was the Millennium Falcon. I was that 11-year-old girl who would argue with my friends over who was hotter - Luke or Han. (The correct answer is Han, of course!) My mother would read the Expanded Universe novels to me in the afternoons and we would talk about the characters. All my spending money went to Jedi Apprentice books and 6 inch action figures. In short, I loved Star Wars. 

I was 13 when The Phantom Menace hit theaters, and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to get to see new stories from my favorite fictional universe play out on the big screen. Though I struggled a bit with some of the acting, the story was absolutely amazing to me. Star Wars felt all the more real to me with the amazing graphics and intense action sequences - not to mention the layers of politics and the complexity of the story. I watched Revenge of the Sith several times in theaters, and though it broke my heart to see Anakin’s fall, I never considered it to be a sad ending overall, when taken as a whole with the original trilogy. 

When the Clone Wars aired in 2008, I was ecstatic. Here was an Anakin I could actually get into (sorry, Hayden). I loved him. I adored Ahsoka. I wanted to marry Rex. The character development and the plot deepened my attachment to that era, and made me question everything I had previously taken for granted as good and bad. The whole system was flawed - the Republic and the Jedi. It wasn’t just a matter of mistakes being made and the wool being pulled over their eyes, there was deep rooted corruption in the side that I once felt was “good”. The light side and the dark side were not as black and white as I thought. I found myself strongly disliking some of the “good guys” and deeply sympathizing with some downright detestable people (I don’t know how you got me to care for Maul, Filoni - but well done). While the series had not yet ended, we knew where it was going. But still, we had already lived through the pain of Order 66, and we knew that the story would eventually culminate in a victory at the end of Return of the Jedi.

I couldn’t believe our luck when the first installment of the sequel trilogy hit the theaters in 2015. It had some of the feelings of a reboot, but I was beyond thrilled to have a series of Star Wars movies that I could now share with my children, as my parents had shared them with me. Though it was hard to say goodbye to the first love of my life, Han Solo - I just knew that Ben would be redeemed and Han’s sacrifice would be worth it...

2016 brought us Rogue One. We knew how that one was going to end too, but we still ate it up. I fell in love with a whole new set of characters, only to see each and every one of them die in the end. Talk about tragedy. But Leia’s line about hope reminded us that five minutes later, a whiny little farm boy was about to have his whole life upended in the best sort of way...so it was okay. Sort of.

Four years of Rebels ended in 2018, and it was so, so lovely - but it hurt so, so much. My perfect, beautiful space family had been torn apart with Kanan’s death. Ezra was missing. Rex was a 29-year-old man who should have been in his prime, but was instead struggling with the wear and tear of a 60-year-old body. Ahsoka was separated from him - AGAIN - and then she left with Sabine to look for Ezra. The ending still held the promise of the fight to come with the Empire, but the majority of our characters were left in a place of grief and brokenness.

2019 brought an end to the sequel trilogy. Once again, we had characters who pulled at our heartstrings, and an interesting struggle between “light” and “dark” that reminded me of the complexities introduced in The Clone Wars. It became more apparent than ever that balance in the Force did not mean the light triumphing over the dark, but instead a harmony between the two. At least, that’s what I thought. Until I watched every person I loved from the original trilogy die, Palpatine come back (and die) again, and the same exact ending of Return of the Jedi played out before me - except not as happy. Why? Because Anakin’s legacy had been reduced to ashes - his rise, fall, redemption, and sacrifice rendered null and void. The last Skywalker was redeemed and promptly killed, just like his grandfather. But because Rey Palpatine decided that she identified as Rey Skywalker, it was supposed to be okay. She then went to go hang out (or live?) alone on Tatooine because that’s where it all started. I was dumbfounded. This was the satisfying, hopeful, ending we were promised? How? 

Believe it or not, I’m not here to trash the sequels - I enjoyed them very much - right up until the last 20 minutes. But in that space of time, the entire legacy of the Skywalker family went up in smoke, and the legacy of Star Wars along with it. Since Return of the Jedi, there have been no happy endings to a Star Wars movie trilogy or TV show. And with the ending of The Rise of Skywalker, that one happy ending we did have was ripped from us as well. Star Wars is now a never ending series of tragic endings. The lessons we are left with: Don’t fall in love in Star Wars, it will end badly. Your actions ultimately result in failure. As soon as you turn good, you die. There is no balance in the Force, just a pendulum swinging back and forth for all time. 

Then The Clone Wars finally got her last season. I didn’t think Order 66 could have hurt worse, but Filoni set out to prove us all wrong...and succeeded. I’m still not over it. And once more, the bitterness I felt over the ending to the sequels (which had begun to subside) flared up all over again. What was it all for? All that pain. All that sacrifice. No happy endings. 

I still love Star Wars. Nothing can take that away from me. No amount of bad writing can change that. And there are still plenty of good writers and creators working on Star Wars content. But good writers spinning tales of tragedy and endless pain negates the power of good writing. The Star Wars of my childhood is not the Star Wars of today. We wore out those VHS tapes because we loved the stories and the people. But my kids are not going to wear out DVDs where everyone they love dies or ends up alone. They aren’t going to queue up those digital movies and series over and over - because who wants to subject themselves to that kind of torture?

Just about the only safe space for Star Wars fans right now is fanfiction archives where the people who love the characters are busy writing fix-it fics to squeeze some sort of satisfying ending out of the canon content. The Mandalorian is literally our last hope for a Star Wars story that has the potential to end well. I swear, if Din Djarin ends up dead or alone at the end of this series, I’m going to lose it. The overwhelming sentiment of the Star Wars fanbase - from original trilogy fanboys to Tumblr blogging Reylos, and everyone in between - is that of dissatisfaction with canon content (with the exception of The Mandalorian). So much so, that many fans are just saying “screw it” and churning out a myriad of fanfiction AUs because there is no way to salvage what has been written. Half of Tumblr is in therapy after The Rise of Skywalker ending and the last episode of Clone Wars - but they weren’t exactly stable to begin with. The other forums and social media platforms are not much better, though.

It’s not just about the quality of writing - because Filoni and co. have done exceptional work with The Clone Wars, Rebels, and The Mandalorian. It’s the tragedy, guys. We can’t take it anymore. Is this really what we want the Star Wars legacy to be? Sadness? Despair? It’s a story about war - people are going to die. I get that. Victory comes at a price, but the cost can’t be worse than the victory. I want to sit down with my kids and watch Star Wars over and over again. The Mandalorian has given us a taste of that - but I’m almost afraid of where it will go. We’ve been burned so many times, I’m beginning to know what Anakin felt like on Mustafar - writhing in agony and screaming “I hate you” to someone he once loved. 

I remember happier days when Luke and Leia and Han were laughing and smiling with their friends while Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin looked on. I want that back. Filoni. Favreau. Creators. Writers. Producers. Directors. You are our only hope for canon content. Use The Mandalorian wisely. Use Din’s story to bless other characters. Here’s some ideas:

Let Din have a happy ending! Preferably with someone he loves and respects at his side (like Cara). 

Let Cara become a Mandalorian - and put Paz Vizsla in charge of her training (we need to see them spar).

Let what’s left of the Tribe establish a new Mandalorian colony - and let Sabine Wren lead it. And give her that Darksaber back - she earned it. 

Let Ezra come back from regions unknown with a deeper understanding of the Force, and have him train the child in the new colony. 

Forget the Jedi and Sith, let’s start a medical training center/hospital run by Force users who can help heal people when modern medicine fails! 

Ahsoka can use her talents for that too. 

Find the rest of the child’s race and bring any of their Force sensitives onboard. 

Let Boba Fett and Din have their epic showdown, but then use a sample of Boba’s unaltered DNA and some mystical Force healing to restore Rex’s body to what a 43-year-old should be (and then he can marry Ahsoka so we can have the Clone/Jedi couple we always wanted...thanks to you, Filoni).

Let the Mandalorians partner with the New Republic in the Outer Rim as law enforcement instead of bounty hunters, so they can get their reputation back. 

They can train new recruits and pilots, just like Fenn Rau trained clones. 

Let them keep their autonomy and traditions, while helping keep the New Republic honest.

Let them be a force for good in the galaxy, for once. 

The Mandalorian could serve as the vessel to give a lot of characters with unresolved or tragic storylines some closure and better endings. If not The Mandalorian, then other new shows. My 6-year-old daughter wants nothing more than to be Ahsoka Tano. My 3-year-old son asks me to watch The Mandalorian every day. My 18-month-old daughter walks around in her brother’s Mandalorian helmet babbling “Way”. Please let me share the Star Wars legacy that I grew up loving with them. Let me show them the happy endings I enjoyed. Let me show them that even in the midst of conflict, not every life has to be ruined. Let me show them a Star Wars story with a satisfying ending. Hope. Redemption. Love. That’s what Star Wars means to me. 

May the Force be With You (and your pens),

Rebekah, A Star Wars Fan

[dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt]

🍼 & the knife bc im on desktop and can only do 1 emoji at a time (for all your ocs :D)

HEY SIS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKIN 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 this should not have taken me so long lmaooooo

down unda bc Long :D

send me symbols for my OCs? 

🍼 Does your OC have any children or want children? What names would they pick? Are they good with kids or a complete disaster?

Myriad: Demons are infertile unless paired with an angel, so they don’t have any children, but it’s probably a good thing in this case bc if Myriad’s wasn’t infertile, they’d have a thousand kids lmao. They honestly haven’t ever thought about kids, and they’ve never been bothered with the idea of having them. They’re actually great with kids and like them a lot, they’re like the coolest uncle ever, but they’d probably not be the best parent. They’d be more like the kid’s friend than their parental figure, and they don’t like staying in one place for long and they wouldn’t abandon their lifestyle so they’d either lug the kid around with them constantly or just leave them with their other parent for a few years before coming back… so yeah, not the best parent.

August: He’s thought about kids occasionally, but he’s never had any drive, not to mention it’s forbidden. If his partner really wanted kids, he’d probably agree to adopt, because he can never turn down anything somebody he loves wants. He would…….. really try to be a good parent. He would care about the kid but he’s be worried about fucking them up and probably have a bit of emotional distance because of that fear. He would love them with his whole heart, though. He likes the name River.

June: They never wanted kids. They liked the name Lía. They are actually very good with kids, though they avoid them like the plague now. They still consider themself a parent.

Dante: I think he’d actually like to have kids. He’s great with them, he’d be a very fun and loving dad, and the kid would be the most well protected little nugget in the entire world. If it was a little girl, he’d name her Tien, after his little sister. The kid would know how to kill a man in a billion ways by the time they were six tho lmao.

Jesse: Knows he’s no-where near ready for kids, but he would love to have them one day. He’d be kinda panicky with a baby but great with teenagers dude should be a youth guidance counselor and he’d love the kid with his whole heart, just wants to be a good dad and make sure he’s always there for them. He’d like to name them after his mom (Lori) or his dad (Frank.) 

Vrox: Terrified of having kids, scared he’ll fuck up. He’s the opposite of Jesse, has a natural talent with getting young kids to like him and is great with them, but awkward with teenagers. Honestly has no idea what to name it, leaves that to Jesse because he knows how important it is to him.

Falkner: HAHAHAHA!!! no.

Emala: She has always wanted children of her own. The only reason she hasn’t adopted an entire household is because she knows that she will outlive them, and that she would never recover them that. It kills her watching children that aren’t her own suffer, and she knows her limits. If she did have kids, though, she would be the. best. mom. in. existence.

Mars: Is fantastic with kids, but has never wanted any of his own. He obeys the rules because he’s a good little angel who would never impregnate someone.

Ben: Has thought about kids on and off his entire life. He’s not like Emala, who desperately wants kids, his is more of a wistfulness. If he eventually finds a partner who wants them, he would happily have them. He’s be the world’s best dad, super kind and patient and understanding. A bit nervous because he doesn’t want to mess up, but he would be a great dad. Doesn’t know what to name them - literally anything but the names Ginger ever so helpfully suggests.

Ginger: Nope, nope, nope. Has never wanted anything that slowed her down. Is too irresponsible to be a good mom. Is pretty terrible with kids, to boot. Would probably name the poor kid Rugrat. 

🔪 Has your OC ever killed someone? Ever had to defend themselves against violence? How did this make them feel? Or, alternatively, has your OC ever attacked someone? Seen someone die?

…..almost all of them have jesus CHR-

Myriad: Yes, yes, holy hell yes. Their job is tracking down and punishing/murdering/reaping evil souls after torturing them for the longest amount of time possible. Yes, they’ve had to defend themself. They know killing people is wrong but since they make sure never to harm innocents, when they do kill it never bothers them, they never hesitate, they never show mercy, and they never regret.

August: Yes, she has killed before, she never takes any pleasure in it and will only ever use it as a last resort. As all other angels (and demons) have, she’s had to reap human souls at some point or another. It doesn’t upset her to any extreme level. It’s always been in self defence. She has seen a lot of people, including her own partners, die over her long life.

June: Um, yes, yes, frequently. They have a short temper and if somebody is being a huge dickwad they will 110% rip the aforementioned dickwad’s face off their skull. They couldn’t give less of a fuck and have 0 regret.

Dante: Yep. He’s killed people in multiple wars over the years, he’s killed people in bar fights and back alley brawls and underground fight clubs and duels to the death. Guns, knives, broken beer bottles, and most frequently, his bare hands. As laid-back and generally kind as he is, he’s got a very violent nature, and if somebody is being an aggressive/violent asshole, he can and will happily take care of them. Particularly if that asshole was harassing somebody else, Dante will never let that shit slide. He takes every opportunity to fight.

Jesse: No, never. He has been the catalyst for people dying, tho, like one time a racist fuck decided to take a swing at him and Vrox ended up breaking the dude’s neck. Jesse was in shock for a while afterward, but mostly he didn’t regret what Vrox had done, even if that troubles him. He doesn’t believe that violence is the answer, but he also has a hard time not starting fistfights with bigots.

Vrox: Yeah. He has a pretty bad temper and when seriously set off, he comes out swinging. He only meant to kill somebody a few times (see, above), mainly it’s just an accident. It’s only when people keep pushing and pushing him and being aggressive, however, mainly he just tries to remove himself from the situation before he can snap and demon-out on them. He’d never get physical in a simple argument, for example.

Falkner: Absolutely. Never walk up behind them without being sure they know you’re there or you will receive a punch in the face that turns your brain to soup. They don’t like killing people and avoid it when possible, but they also won’t hesitate if they need to, either. Their only qualm will be the clean-up required.

Emala: She’s killed the most out of all of them. In her work as a nurse she is almost daily forced to reap souls, since dying via an angel taking your soul is the most peaceful, comforting kind of death, and that’s what her patients deserve. She only ever does so to a patient she knows is going to die anyway, with no hope for a recovery, and she illegally uses her angel grace to heal chronically ill patients enough as it is. It leaves her broken after every one, she hates taking lives. She has never been a believer of killing as an act of violence or anger.

Mars: … He mass murders all the family/loved ones of any poor soul who turns him down and then rapes and murderers the poor soul themself, murders many more in his many temper tantrums, and generally kills anybody and anything that displeases him. Yes.

Ben: Unfortunately, yes. When he fell and before he figured out about his out-of-control grace, he accidentally murdered an entire building’s worth of people because his grace exploded and decimated it and everybody in it. He was absolutely horrified and after that, made sure never to be around people when he could feel that ten-minute warning when he started feeling sick. He regrets it and hates himself for it and had a mental breakdown afterward. He has anonymously donated to the families of those he killed for years now.

Ginger: She’s gotten in some bar fights and broken bottles of people’s heads, she’s accidentally run over others, but she never intentionally does, and she does feel guilty afterward… just not for long.

[timeslipselfships]

Shaky Next Step A Ruv (FNF: Mid-Fight Masses) Self Ship Fic

A/N: AAAAASHWAIKAAFS I actually did it holy hell, my first ever proper self-ship fic.

Also @prick-o yer hcs inspired this bless

-

It had been about two months since Kay found themself indefinitely staying at the church. A strange thing to think about as it wasn't like they were being held captive here, but as long as they didn't have any identification, money or means of contact with their family they didn't have anywhere else to go. They were but a simple tourist who had won a week-long trip to Moscow, Russia, in a raffle they had entered on a lark. It was the furthest they'd ever been from home but it was as exciting as it was nerve-wracking.

The trip was pretty great at first, a nice hotel, delicious local cuisine and beautiful architecture abound.

Around three days in, however, things fell apart.

Kay had been attending a local concert that went on to late in the night. They knew the area by now but the darkness of night tended to make things startlingly unfamiliar. It wasn't a far walk from their hotel but they couldn't help but feel anxious as they passed the shadowy alleyways and dark buildings. Next thing they knew they felt a hand on their shoulder and they were pulled into one of those very alleys. They felt a knife pointed to their chest as the thuggish figure demanded something their grasp on Russian didn't quite comprehend, but likely was along the lines of "Your money or your life."

Kay should have screamed for help, they should have just given him their bag and ran. They didn't do either of these things.

Instead, Kay lifted their leg and kicked him square in the groin. It was pure fight or flight instinct. For good measure they took their bag off and beaned him in the head while he was clutching himself and heaving.

Huh, never thought they'd react quite like that. Kay almost felt proud of themself for teaching the thug a lesson. At least until they found themself surrounded by a whole group of similarly dressed and armed figures.

Kay didn't even get a chance to curse themself out internally before something large and metallic hit the back of their head.

-

The next time Kay awoke their vision was blurry. They were lying somewhere cold... very cold. They could see the vague shape of trees and... snow. They heard vague yelling and struggling as they tried to sit up, to no avail as they were simply too weak and fell back in the snow.

The last thing Kay saw as their vision faded once again was a tall, imposing figure decked in grey looming over them.

-

That was the man Kay would later come to know as Ruvzayat, or Ruv for short. He had come across the thugs carrying their unconscious body through the wilderness, likely looking to leave them to the elements to die. He had intervened and saw them off (rather violently) before taking them to the church they currently resided in. There they’d meet Sarvente, or Sarv, who did her best to treat their wounds and make them comfortable before they woke back up.

It was definitely a shock as Kay woke up in a strange, somewhat run-down looking church. They had always been rather uncomfortable with religious subjects, having had more than one unfortunate experience with people using their faith as an excuse to spread hatred and cruelty. Fortunately, Sarv was every bit as kind as the good book encouraged, immediately at their side as they first observed their foreign surroundings.

Sarv was an interesting character to be sure. Doting on Kay like a concerned parent, she would always ask if they were comfortable, if they needed anything to eat or drink, if they needed new bandages or more pain medication...

Kay was indeed rather roughed up from their experience. Their worst injury was their broken left foot, currently in a makeshift cast and propped up on pillows, as well as being rather chilled from exposure to the frigid Russian air. They also had some bruised ribs and a (surprisingly only) minor concussion, alongside a myriad of minor scrapes and abrasions as well as some broken teeth. Of course they were also stripped of everything but the clothes on their back. No phone. No ID. Nothing.

Thus, Kay was left at the mercy of Sarv, who was also rather unique physically. She was almost seven feet tall with her heels, wore an oddly form-fitting nun's outfit and...

Had odd ivory white skin with streaks of pastel pink marbling, as well as large, blank white eyes.

Kay would be a pretty massive hipocrate to question others' physical appearance, they weren't anything special themselves. Nonetheless, this was still something that gnawed at their mind.

Then, there was Ruv. He was arguably even more doting of Kay, without fail appearing every waking hour making sure they were in need of nothing. He was surprisingly quiet despite his appearance, seeming to appear without a sound. And even with his deep, bassy voice he'd always talk just above a whisper. Taciturn and blunt yes, but he seemed to care just as much as Sarv.

If only Kay knew it would become so much more.

-

Indeed, Ruv was oddly determined to find the rest of those thugs and show them what petty, cheap thievery would truly earn them. Even in his criminal career, he only targeted either other gang members or those that could defend themselves. He didn't look on his past fondly but he liked to think he had some standards, of a sort.

But for now, that could wait. For now, making sure this stranger, Kay, was safe and healing, was more important.

He wasn't sure why he was so concerned about this Kay figure. His best guess was that seeing this simple civilian being dragged around by some wannabe crooks to be left to die alone... angered him. A rare kind of anger that seeped through his soul and made his blood white hot.

He wouldn't, couldn't, just leave them be.

And now, a mere three days later, he kept having to check in. Less to make sure Kay was taken care of, but to keep them off their feet and resting.

He was shocked the first time he saw Kay trying to walk on their bum leg. Clearly struggling and practically dragging themself using a pew for balance.

"what are you doing."

Kay stiffened briefly at his voice before relaxing somewhat.

"I c-can't just sit around and watch you two runnin' about..." Kay stammered out, sharply inhaling as they took another quivering step. "Let me d-do somethIINGggH!" They choked out as their knee suddenly buckled.

Ruv was right on top of them, arms around Kay before they hit the ground. They couldn't help but blush at the contact as Ruv carefully scooped them up bridal-style and brought them back to the mattress they had spent their stay on.

"stay here."

Kay let out a sigh.

"You sure you don't want me to do anything?"

"just rest."

Kay hated this. They felt like little more than a burden loafing around like this. Surely they could walk a little bit by now...

"...you really want to help?"

Kay nodded.

Ruv left the room without a word. Kay sat there awkwardly, worried they had offended him somehow. However, Ruv soon returned with an armful of papers, setting them on a nearby pew.

Kay blinked curiously before being scooped up once again and placed next to the pile, soon surrounded once again by blankets and pillows as they were made comfortable as possible in their new seat.

Ruv pulled a pen out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Kay before pointing to the stack of papers.

"fill in the names."

He handed Kay the first paper in the stack which contained a list of names.

"one each. put them aside when you're done."

Kay took a quick look at the papers. Some kind of newsletter. How quaint.

"you... k with that."

Kay, for the first time since their arrival, beamed.

"That's the name!"

It took Ruv a moment to process the joke before giving an ever so subtle ghost of a smirk.

As Ruv turned around, Kay called out to him.

"A-and... uh... thank you..."

Ruv turned his head slightly.

"...no. thank you."

Kay blushed again as they quickly turned to their work, unaware of Ruv quickly retreating to hide his own matching shade of pink.

-

And now, the two were surprisingly close, much to Sarv's delight. She had wanted Ruv to open himself up more to others for a long time and their new guest seemed to click well with him.

It wasn't unusual to see the two of them sharing a comfortable silence together. Sometimes Kay would be face down in a book as Ruv simply seemed to be in his own little world, before Kay would pipe up with something they found particularly interesting, with Ruv making a grunt of acknowledgement before sometimes adding his own two cents.

It was... peaceful. And true to their word, Kay was more than willing to help with whatever needed doing in the church, whether it be paperwork like before or, as their injuries healed, physical labor. Carrying boxes of donations, sweeping the hall etc.

Kay felt they could never truly repay the two for saving their life, but for now, this would have to be enough.

Today however, was a quiet, relaxing one. No chores were in need of immediate attention, nothing scheduled, and Sarv was out in town today, so the two were content to simply sit in the church hall and talk whatever came to mind.

"I'm just sayin', we know more about outer bloomin' space than we do the ocean. Who's to say what's down there?"

"so you're saying there's still megalodon out there."

"No, no. I'm saying it's entirely possible some descendant of megalodon adapted to life in the deep ocean. Megalodon is extinct, but a new, different species of mega-shark lives on in their stead."

"ah."

Neither one was really sure how they got on to this topic, nor did they really care. Just listening to Kay talk at length about something they evidently cared about was enough to make Ruv happy.

Their peaceful banter was suddenly interrupted as the large double wooden doors of the church burst open. Both immediately turned to see an unfamiliar figure. Kay briefly feared it was one of their thugs coming to finish the job, but soon found he didn't have the same "uniform" those petty crooks wore, just some off-brand trackwear and knit beanie.

The man looked around the place with a confident smirk and his hands in his pockets as he walked towards the pair.

"Nice place. Little plain but that can be fixed. I'll take it." He punctuated his last statement with a cocky grin towards the two.

"What?" Kay remarked.

"I said I'll take it." The man rolled his eyes like he was talking to an idiot. "This joint'll make a nice little hangout for me an' the boys."

"Wh- you can't do that!" Kay stood up before pausing "Uh... Can he?" They asked their tall, silent companion.

"'Course I can!" The man made his way towards Kay, pulling something shiny and metal out of his pocket. Kay felt their hackles raise thinking it was a weapon until...

A... microphone?

"Unless you wanna rap for it." The man said with a toothy grin.

"...What?"

Kay looked wide eyed between the mic, the man and Ruv. No one moved. The man's expression didn't falter.

Oh... he was serious.

Not only that, but according to Ruv's reaction, or lack thereof, this was not an unusual means of conflict resolution.

"Whoa, whoa, wait!" Kay raised their hands defensively. "I don't think you get it! I can't sing or dance or anythin'!"

"So you forfeit?" The man's slimy smile made Kay's skin crawl. "Guess you better pack your bags then."

Ruv evidently had enough, as he stood from his seat to his full towering height and soon stepped between the two.

"this is a sacred place." Ruv glared down towards the interloper. "show respect or leave. your choice."

Kay saw Ruv's hand leave his pocket revealing a microphone of his own. Did... did he have that on him this whole time?

The man snorted back laughter looking Ruv up and down, seemingly unintimidated. "Big man gonna hafta protect his widdle pwincess?"

Ruv's eye narrowed. "last chance."

"Pffft..." The man mocked. "Bring it stringbean!"

Kay retreated back a few as the two combatants stepped away from each other. They were about to question things further until the speakers installed in the church walls suddenly sprang to life as if on cue.

Kay was about done questioning things at this point. Or so they thought.

The first few verses passed by quickly as Kay had a hard time keeping up with the lyrics, thanks to both the speed of the song and the fact that the two seemed to be singing in their native language, Kay not being nearly versed enough to fully follow.

Ruv had a surprisingly nice voice all things considered. Made them wish he sang more often.

Then there was a brief pause. Ruv took a breath.

If Kay had a hard time following beforehand, they definitely were completely lost now. As Ruv sang, his voice was nearly incomprehensible at the sheer volume. The building shook and his opponent had the expression of someone who had made a massive mistake as he stumbled, grabbing onto a nearby pew to maintain balance against this pure vocal force.

For his part, he tried to continue, albeit rather shaken and fumbling his words. He... tried.

Ruv didn't relent, continuing his lyrical assault as he marched towards his foe, his footsteps seemingly in time with the rhythm, giving the impression of the quaking being caused by his very approach. The man finally lost his balance and fell. Ruv loomed over his opponent as he gave pause for the thoroughly shaken man to retaliate.

"Ah… eh… I..." The man stuttered and mumbled before dropping his mic with a feedback ladden clang.

An eerie silence fell.

Then, a noise, a mundane, inconsequential sound that had no right to carry as much dread as it did.

Click. Eeeee...

Ruv's microphone wasn't even on.

This broke something in the intruder. He scrambled to his feet and ran, clambering about on his shaking knees while yelling something along the lines of "What the hell are you!?" as he fled.

Ruv picked up the dropped microphone as he placed his own back into his pocket after turning it back off. He examined it idly as he silently walked back to Kay.

"sorry about that." Ruv simply stated as he sat down next to his shaken friend, before presenting the discarded mic to them.

"here."

"...Huh?"

"don't think he's coming back for it."

"..."

Kay quietly took the microphone, shiny and unused beyond what had just happened.

Kay looked over to Ruv only to notice him avoiding their gaze.

"...soooo..."

"..."

Kay tapped their fingers along the mic in their hands as they thought over their wording.

"That was..."

Ruv closed his eye waiting for the inevitable words. Terrifying. Monstrous. Freakish. He'd heard it all over the years.

"Awesome..."

Ruv's eye opened wide. Scratch that. He'd hadn't heard that one before.

Ruv turned to Kay, trying to read their expression for any signs of a lie. All he saw was an honest blush of bashful admiration.

"...huh."

"Yeah. I know. Weird. But..." Kay looked at their feet as they talked. "Can't say I know many folks who can make the roar of a crowd with only one man." They looked up again with a small smile.

Ruv wished he could properly smile back. "i... thanks."

"How do you do that anyway?" Kay suddenly had a look of earnest curiosity as they looked him in the eye, a rare feat for them.

"it's not exactly something you can learn."

"Don't care."

Ruv paused. He had never told anyone the origin of his voice. Never really had the chance. Only Sarv knew because she was there when it all happened.

"it's a long story..."

"I've got time."

...

"fine."

Kay smiled and turned fully to Ruv. They tucked their knees to their chin and looked on with rapt attention.

"let's see..."

-NOTE: THE FOLLOWING SECTION DEPICTS SCENES OF GUN VIOLENCE, GORE AND BODY HORROR. IF THESE TOPICS ARE TRIGGERING TO YOU OR YOU OTHERWISE WISH NOT TO SEE SUCH CONTENT, PLEASE CTRL+F AND TYPE IN 'END OF SEGMENT' TO SKIP SUCH CONTENT. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST.-

It was a peaceful day at the church. Sarv had just finished dusting the hall and was looking upon the room with pride when a sudden noise burst through the afternoon air.

BANG

Sarv jumped. A gunshot? Her thoughts were soon interrupted by another bang, this time against the church doors. She rushed over only to witness them opening as Ruv's body fell like a sandbag to the floor.

"Ruvzayat!"

Sarv rushed over to her friend’s body, alarmed as she saw a fast forming pool of blood underneath.

"Ruv, please! Speak to me!"

No response.

Sarv turned Ruv's body over, gasping in shock and fear as she saw just what had happened.

Ruv's chest was absolutely eviscerated. Red, raw flesh and shattered bone were plainly visible along with a vital clue.

Buckshot.

Figuring out who had attacked Ruv and why could wait. For now, Sarv had to desperately try to save her childhood friend.

How though? Her mind blanked in panic. She could do basic first aid, but she was no surgeon. Calling for medical assistance would be fruitless, with their remote location it would take far too long for help to arrive.

She was running out of time. Ruv's breathing was weak, shallow and wet, he was fading too fast. Sarv couldn't... wouldn't lose him.

She shouldn't... using her powers like that was not only risky but would forever mark him as her indebted. In most eyes his soul would be beyond saving, damned.

Then again, she was a demon who had chosen a holy, righteous path. Maybe, just maybe, if she kept to that path, the powers that be would find room to spare him.

Sarv took a deep breath and started chanting some kind of unknowable language. Her light, charming voice started to echo with arcane power as she hovered her hands over Ruv's wound as they emanate a deep red glow which soon was shared by Ruv's injury.

Ruv's bones and flesh started to move on their own as they started to knit together and reform. His lungs and heart not only healed as the stray bullet remains were forced out, but strengthened and grew. His rib cage followed suit, and as his skin regrew around it, it became clear his overall chest area was now significantly larger.

-END OF SEGMENT-

Demon magic was always unpredictable, but it seemed that beyond some minor alterations Ruv was fully healed. Though Sarv couldn't help but wince as she saw Ruv's already pale complexion fade further as grey marbled stripes formed throughout. Not at all unlike Sarv's pink tinged patterns.

Turns out, being marked by demonic influence was quite a literal term.

Still, Ruv was alive and breathing, Sarv watching his chest steadily rise and fall with a small smile of relief. She soon got up to grab a blanket and pillow so Ruv would be somewhat less sore upon awakening.

-

Hours later, Ruv awoke with his mind in a haze. The last thing he remembered was that an old 'acquaintance' from his past had tracked him down and was more than willing to not only get some bloody revenge on him, but anyone he associated with. Naturally he couldn't let that happen.

A brief but intense brawl ensued. The would-be assailant was battered and beaten, greatly underestimating Ruv's physical strength as he attempted to wrench the gun from his opponent's hands.

However, all it took was one pull of the trigger.

Ruv had just enough strength in him to punch his foe out and stomp on the dropped weapon hard enough to render it at least temporarily unusable before his adrenaline ran low and he stumbled his way to the church doors in a daze before collapsing, completely unaware of the sheer severity of his injury.

He felt... surprisingly alright all things considered. No pain, just stiffness from laying on the floor.

Ruv sat up and looked around him. His destroyed shirt and coat had been removed alongside his hat, the latter likely had fallen off when he collapsed. He was still near the doors but found himself draped in a blanket and...

Uninjured...?

Ruv looked down at his chest. It was unmarred, no bandages, stitches or scars to be found. Instead he found his skin was even paler than before. Porcelain white as opposed to simply fair. Not only that, but grey stripes and markings dotted his flesh, covering his hands like mismatched gloves.

It didn't take long for him to realize the resemblance.

As Ruv examined himself further he realized how... strange his chest looked now. Maybe it was just because it had been destroyed in what felt like mere moments earlier, but he could swear there was a slight... vibration to it as he breathed. Putting a hand to his upper body it felt like his ribs were thicker somehow as he could feel his heart pounding with strength that wasn't there before.

"Huh..."

Odd, but nothing he couldn't live with. Whatever Sarv had pulled seemed to work better than any typical medicine.

That is, until his dry mouth elicited a cough.

As suddenly as the hack escaped his throat, the building shook.

Ruv braced himself in his sitting position as the quake ceased as soon as it began. An aftershock?

It was at that moment he realized he hadn't seen Sarv since he awoke. Normally she'd be by his side in an instant as soon as she so much as heard a sniffle, let alone anything more. He recalled the man from his past, his intent...

"SARV!"

He shouted for her as fear gripped him as he stood up, only to fall to the floor as another quake rocked the area.

Shit! An earthquake here? Now?

No... It stopped once again. What on Earth was going on?

"Shit... Shit!"

Ruv got to his feet again, one hand on his bare chest, feeling his heart pound. It didn't feel... strange or uncomfortable though. It felt like it was his normal heart rate, just... harder.

"Ruv!?"

Sarv's voice! Ruv spun to face her as she made her way down the hall.

"Sarv! Stay there! Something’s-!"

The quaking started again as Ruv fell to his hands and knees as Sarv stumbled to grip a nearby pillar. Stronger and longer this time.

Through the cacophony Ruv heard an ominous crack. He raised his head to see the pillar Sarv was leaning on splitting apart. Ruv shouted out once more, realizing too late the true source of the quakes.

"SAR-!"

Ruv clasped a hand over his mouth as the realization struck him. Once was nothing. Twice a coincidence. Three times a trend.

He... He was doing this.

From his all-fours position he could feel the force emanating from himself. He felt how his chest vibrates violently with his voice.

Something was indeed wrong... with him. His body.

His thoughts were only interrupted when a violent, grinding crunch sounded through the building, his eye looking up just in time to see Sarv disappear behind a cloud of dust and debris.

Silence...

Dread like none before filled Ruv as the dust settled. He wanted to call out to Sarv desperately, but...

His lifelong friend, the only other person in his life...

She'd saved his life, and he'd taken hers...

Sarv emerged from behind the pillar, mere inches away from being crushed beneath it. She looked to where she last saw Ruv only to see him curled up on himself, eye wide and teary as he tried his best to hold back sobs. She hadn't seen him in such a vulnerable state since they were both but children on the streets.

"Ruv... Ruv it's okay. I'm right here."

Sarv startled as Ruv shifted away from her as soon as she made herself known. He looked at her with fear and remorse, silently begging her to stay away.

Sarv refused to have that.

She approached Ruv as he closed his eye and curled up further, though he didn't resist as Sarv draped herself over him in a tight embrace.

"It's okay. It's okay... I'm fine, see?"

Sarv tried to get a look at Ruv's face but he evidently was avoiding her gaze, shame clear on his features.

"It's alright Ruv. We'll figure this out. I promise."

The two sat there in silence for a long time, letting the events of the day fade into memory as they made a silent reaffirmation of their friendship.

They'd adapt. Just like they had before and inevitably would again.

-

Apparently, when Sarv healed Ruv's fatal wounds, she also effectively supercharged the affected area, resulting in Ruv now having far more powerful lungs, heart and vocal chords than any regular human. Naturally, Ruv didn't have any knowledge regarding how to handle these changes, thus a long, difficult learning process.

Kay sat in silence as Ruv concluded his story. His face was hard to read, on one hand it wasn't fun revisiting some of his more painful memories. He hated how vividly he remembered the horror of potentially losing Sarv twice in the same day, both as consequences of his actions. On the other, it felt kind of... nice. Like he was getting something off his chest.

Which Kay wasn't very good at hiding her wandering gaze at from him.

"Sooo... I guess you figured out how to control it?" Kay said after realizing they'd been caught staring with a blush, trying to change the subject.

Ruv hummed in response.

"yeah. didn't talk at all for a while. sarv wouldn't stand for that for long however."

"How'd you go about it?"

Ruv considered for a moment.

"singing, honestly."

At first Kay wanted to question this, but reconsidered. It wasn't that odd really. Singing did require a lot of vocal finesse. Controlling one's tone, inflection and, well, volume...

Sheesh... they hadn't even given much thought to the almost casual revelation that Sarv, kind, chaste, charitable Sarv, was a genuine demon. That's something they'd have to explore further at a later date.

Something else was bothering Kay now though, it was clear on their face.

"what's up."

Kay jumped slightly before blushing brightly.

"This is gonna sound really weird but... you said your, uh... chest was all different right?"

Ruv nodded, his expression stoic as ever.

"Could I... look? Justoutofcuriosity...?" Kay sputtered, knowing what their request sounded like.

"..."

"k."

Kay blinked. They didn't expect that to go over so well.

Wordlessly, Ruv shrugged off his coat, revealing his well-toned arms. Kay felt like their face was already on fire.

Next, Ruv deftly pulled his top up and over his head, managing to keep his hat in place. Kay could only imagine from practice alone as they tried to hide their flustered sweating.

"It's purely... scientific curiosity... yeah, let's go with that." Kay tried to rationalize their thoughts.

Indeed, Ruv was speaking the truth with his recollections. It almost looked like someone had taken the barrel-like, deepend thorax of a horse and just tucked it under human skin. Muscles only somewhat obscuring heavy, well-sprung ribs.

Kay found themself raising a shaky hand before pausing.

"M- May I?"

Ruv nodded.

Kay pressed their hand against Ruv's bared chest. They could feel his heart thumping against his ribcage, the slight vibrations from his breath alone.

“Woah…”

“Ah, Ruv, Kay, how are you doinOHMYGOODNESS!”

The two’s heads snapped in the direction of a beet red-faced Sarvente.

“Ah, aahah, I’ll leave you two besorrysorry!” Sarv sputtered as she backed off through the doorway she had just entered from, eyes looking… anywhere but at her two companions.

The pair instantly realised how intimate they appeared to Sarv without any context. Ruv was hurriedly pulling his top on, his expression neutral but face flushed pink, while Kay was just covering their face, barely holding back an embarrassed squeal.

They would explain, or try to, later. For now, as they caught each other's glances briefly, they quietly filed away this memory.

They would only make plenty more.

[aftgficlibrary]

Soulmates

Apparently it was meant to be (Note: this post was long so it for now only includes completed fics. Will be updated when others are completed)

last updated: 31 January 2019

Coming Home by wesawbears (T | 1,235 | 1/1)

Kevin, Jean, and Jeremy are all born with two soulmate marks instead of one. It takes them a while to find each other.

Falls by nekojita for ApprenticedMagician (M |  7,002 | 1/1)

Nathaniel ends up at Edgar Allan/the Nest after all, and what helps him through everything (Tetsuji's abusive demands, RIKO, being pushed to his limits to be the best) is often the dreams he has of the young French boy whose name is embellished on his wrist - Jean. The boy whom his mother told him to never mention to anyone, especially his father.

So what happens when that boy ends up at Evermore one day?

A soul mate/Neil/Jean fic for apprenticedmagician on Tumblr for ATFG_Exchange's winter gift exchange.

Your Face by lanalua (T | 1,464 | 1/1)

Each of Andrew's drawings of his soulmate is different: different haircut, hair color, eye color... That can't be good. 

this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart by giucorreias (Not Rated | 483 | 1/1)

it's the small details

I felt your pain when you were gone byElfo98 (G | 3,533 | 1/1)

Another Soulmate AU where Neil and Andrew can feel each other's pain and how the Foxes find out.

Or: my take on the Baltimore incident because I can't seem to get enough of it.

Paint Splatter Freckles and Godly Go Fishby Issylang for quensty (G | 1,115 | 1/1)

"When Jean was younger, much younger, he would sit in his mother’s lap while she traced the sun on his left shoulder blade and sang love songs in soft French. He would stare at the black heart on her wrist, the one that perfectly matched his father’s, and imagine the little girl that shared his sun. When Jeremy was very little his mom and dad would corral him and his older sister into the living room after dinner. With a child in each lap, they would recount the history of soulmates; how Zeus, in fear of their power, had split the people of earth in half, and they were destined to spend the rest of their lives in search for their other half. How, in a moment of kindness, Zeus had marked the pairs, so that they could follow their symbol to their other half." Just a cute, short Jerejean Soul mate au. 

Marked by beautifulmagick (G | 1,164 | 1/1)

Neil Josten's soulmate mark is on his shoulder. Andrew can never forget that.

Empty Kiss by Leahelisabeth (fortheloveofcamelot) for ApprenticedMagician (M | 1,987 | 1/1)

Based on a Tumblr prompt for an empty kiss.

met you in the dark (you lit me up) byharrytomlinsonwhoops (M | 3,085 | 1/1)

it starts like this:

the elevator doors are closing, and aaron, after seeing one of the cheerleaders inside, doesn't bother running for it.

she holds the door for him anyway. she's got curly hair, and dark brown skin. her eyes are a bright green that he doesn't expect when she stares down at him. she's half a head taller, but he finds that he doesn't mind looking up to her.

"hello," she says, her eyes lighting up, and aaron thinks: oh. oh no.

a memory unrepressed by orphan_account (T | 7,387 | 1/1)

“So, what, you think I’m real, you’re real? That we’ve somehow… I don’t know, astral projected to this place?”

“I don’t know what I think,” Thea said slowly, a strain on her voice as if she hated to admit it.

“Well, the sun is– Fuck.”

“What?” Thea looked around as well, then froze.

There was no sun. There were no clouds. No shadows. It was indisputably light out, as if it were day, but the light seemed to have no source.

Groaning, Dan buried her face in her hands. “What is this, I don’t like it.”

let me love the pain you're going through by MadHatterNO7 (T | 1,526 | 1/1)

Neil remembers his mother saying, "Soulmates don’t exist. They aren’t real. They are a burden that would get you killed."

Neil supposes he knows why.

His mother's soulmate was never his father.

Watermark by fairietailed (T | 4,689 | 1/1)

He hops into the kitchen on one foot, catching his mother before she carries the bowl of peas she’s holding into the dining room.

“Jeremy?” Her eyebrows pull together in concern at the look on his face. “What is it?”

“I don’t know,” he says, sticking out his foot. “I think it’s my soul mate?”

--

In which bruises and scars from your soulmate appear on your skin, and Jeremy's skin is a myriad of colored stains.

What are you scared of? by shipsgalore (T | 1,704 | 1/1)

“I couldn’t -- you weren’t supposed to be real. I didn’t think that I would ever have somebody love me, Jeremy. I’m just broken. I’m broken and you can’t love something that’s broken.” He wants to take his hand out of Jeremy’s, to end this entire discussion, but the burning of his nerve endings is welcoming. He wants to feel this every day of his life. 

hard to find by jaylocked (M | 3,199 | 1/1)

Jean has learned to hate the letters on his ribs.

He can remember a time before, back when he still had the sky above him and his future before him, when the letters fueled his insatiable, childish imagination. But then he lost the sky, lost his future, lost his language, and the letters changed.

accept yourself by jaylocked (T | 6,498 | 1/1)

In which Jeremy Knox tries to figure out what soulmates mean in a world of divorced parents, sappy best friends, Exy, and scowling, abused backliners.

My Own by hazelNuts (T | 728 | 1/1)

Andrew doesn't believe in soulmates, so what's the point of having a soulmate mark?

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine by A_Nobelmonster (Not Rated | 839 | 1/1)

Prompt: Andrew and Aaron are platonic soulmates that can feel each others pain.

Pain by ke_xia (M | 810 | /1)

There’d been a point once, when Andrew was a boy, that he’d been told stories of soulmates and had had grand visions of finding his own. Sharing a soul with one person who could feel your pain and whose pain you felt in return- now that felt like true love. And a soulmate had to love you; that was their entire reason for existing. Not like his mom or his dad, whoever they were, nor any number of the foster parents he’d gone through, nor any of the “brothers” and “sisters” he’d had throughout his few years in the system. No, none of them had ever loved him, but there was someone out there, someone who did even though they didn’t even know him yet.

/Graphic Depictions Of Violence /Rape/Non-Con

Exactly by jostenminyard (onceuponahundred) (G | 783 | 1/1)

A soulmate au where all the foxes (minus Nicky). But Neil broke his because its dangerous to love. Andrew broke his because fuck love. Aaron broke his because Andrew made him as part of the promise. Dan broke hers because of the man hating thing. Matt's broke on accident while he was high. Riko forced Kevin to break his. Renee broke hers in the gang. Allison broke hers to piss off her parents and the "I chose this one" thing. Seth broke his because he wasn't gonna let a clock decide his life.

a new kind of grace by starfleetbanana (T | 1,997 | 1/1)

'“You got it wrong, Josten. She keeps me on a leash” She said and left Neil to his own very dramatic and tragic existence.

Allison was fearless and, even though Renee had a soft spot for her foxes, she was deadly and sharp-edged. They fit together like a Swiss knife next to a gun'.

Soulmates AU where they see in black and white until they meet their soulmates and stop seeing colours when they die.

we're here to see the colour grey bystarfleetbanana (E | 2,143 | 1/1)

Neil had grown up sure he was the kind of person who’d never get to see in colour. There were people who spent their entire lives without knowing what colour was like, and he’d already accepted a life on the run wouldn’t give him a chance to even figure out who had made his entire world change.

Soulmates AU where they see in black and white until they meet their soulmates and stop seeing colour when their soulmates die.

when the world turns grey bystarfleetbanana (G | 1,972 | 1/1)

Allison had never seen colour in her life until she'd stepped into the Foxhole Court. But then Seth Gordon died. He’d died and she’d kept dancing in the middle of the dance floor with one of his friends while the colourful lights swirled around them. She’d drunk a blue cocktail and smeared her dark red lipstick on a napkin.

Soulmate AU where they see in black and white until they meet their soulmates and stop when their soulmates die.

with the lights on by starfleetbanana (T | 1,801 | 1/1)

'Medical professionals classify hysterical blindness as “conversion disorder,” a condition that causes you to show psychological stress in a physical manner. While there are many causes of this disorder, most of them point to some type of anxiety or other psychological trauma that triggers this temporary blindness'

'When the haze went away he tried to focus his vision on something more familiar. Everything that surrounded him was a deep shade of black that threatened to swallow him up, and it didn’t take him long to notice he was at Castle Evermore.'

Part of the Soulmates AU where you see in black and white until you meet your soulmate and stop seeing colours when they die.

your crown of thorns holds roses by quensty (T | 4,444 | 1/1)

Three days after he signs his death sentence to Palmetto State, five after Andrew Minyard sends him flying breathless to the ground, Neil's gaze snaps to the locker room mirror and stares, frozen, at the word threat scrawled along his spinal cord in terrifying, heavy bold.

All in all, he isn’t thrilled about the situation this puts him in, but, based off the negative connotation, it isn’t one-sided either. On the bright side, at least this means his soulmate doesn’t harbor any grandeur delusions about him.

Like fields of poppies by A_Nobelmonster (M | 3,340 | 1/1)

Soul mate au . Andrew has always had more dark soul marks than most adults see in their life. He's used to it. Used to a life based on survival . And then he turns fifteen, a red dot appears. the color of a romantic soul mate. Suddenly the thought of living for the person that gave him his mark is the only thing keeping him alive. Just one chance to know the poor fucker meant for him. As usual It's more than he bargains for.

/Rape/Non-Con /Underage /Self-Harm

To die by your side would be such a heavenly way to go by A_Nobelmonster (T | 494 | 1/1)

Short drabble about the beautiful pain of a fictional person made real by his friends love.

/Major Character Death

The Story of My (Loveless) Life byconstellationsofsentences (G | 3,281 | 4/4)

If there's one thing Jean hates more than Riko and the rest of the Ravens, it's his soulmate and their inability to listen to anything but Taylor Swift. Jean thinks his head's going to explode.

starring Jeremy and his basic white girl music.

when the lights go out by flybbfly (T | 1,705 | 1/1)

Neil wakes up gasping in a bed next to Andrew, unsure if in this lifetime they love or hate each other, are meant to murder or save, and Andrew rolls over and presses closer to Neil in his sleep. His armbands, some form of them omnipresent in every lifetime, are poking out from beneath a pillow.

one of many by Saul (T | 2,859 | 1/1)

They first meet in their dreams.

It isn't as miraculous or smooth a transition as the How To Be Fated: A Guide on Soulmates made it out to be.

The mirrors of our skin. by IceBreeze (T | 862 | 1/1)

When night falls, they remind themselves of who they are.

Ask the Messenger by Metis_Ink (T | 32,614 | 5/5)

Jeremy Knox and the soulmate.

Guest starring: Exy, a transfer student, generalized anxiety, older sisters, drunk lesbians, bread, cake, a shed, the beach, the absence of Hennessy, Star Wars, Renee Walker, self-taught smooth talking, gratuitous French, No. 1 Trojans fan Kevin Day, relationship drama, general drama, the power of Friendship, questions, answers, team spirit!, and, of course, romance.

Bleed for you. by IceBreeze (T | 860 | 1/1)

When you meet your soulmate, you get a nosebleed. It makes every meeting messy and leaves little room for subtlety. 

in this world, there's no such thing as soulmates by kwritten for growlery (G | 801 | 1/1)

for the prompt: what disasters we live

Now I'm Covered in the Colors by alaynes (T | 9,752 | 6/6)

Nathaniel Wesninski is six years old when his first soulmate mark comes in. 

A name was just a name until you said it by maeusetod (Not Rated | 5,106 | 1/1)

Andrew Minyard did not believe in fate, but for a moment it seemed fate did believe in him.

Colours by Q_Jem_Bee (T | 2685 | 1/1)

Colours were splashed across your skin at another being's touch: They were the colour of your soul.Neil's was blue, but no one knew that. No one was going to know.

Careful Hands by fairietailed ( M | 13,797 | 4/4)

“You’ll probably never meet them,” his mother said one day at a diner in Texas. It caught him off guard.

“What?”

“You’ll probably never meet them,” she repeated, nodding in the direction of the lilac bruise splashed across his forearm. “Your soulmate. You’ll most likely never live that long.”

“I know,” he said, and hoped that she believed him.

–

In which bruises and scars from your soulmate appear on your skin, and both Neil and Andrew paint each other like a canvas.

/Violence

Crystal Clear by exactly13percent (superagentwolf) ( T | 3,114 | 1/1)

Your crystal is your heart and soul, manifested. You must keep it safe. Neil and Andrew don’t have typical crystals. For one, they aren’t whole. They’re little pieces, broken by years of wrong. But Kevin’s magic shop brings them together, and they figure maybe broken doesn’t mean destroyed.

Marked by justdk ( T | 2,488 | 1/1)

Neil Josten does not believe in soulmates

Empty Kiss (Filling the Void Remix) by Dancyon ( T | 1,604 | 1/1)

Neil sometimes wonders where it all went wrong. (In the quiet spaces between his breath and Andrew’s, he already knows.)

Soulmate au where Neil should really know better.

/Violence

Life After the Fire (The “Like Fields of Poppies” Remix) by Leahelisabeth (fortheloveofcamelot) for A_Nobelmonster ( T | 2,542 | 1/1)

very first touch leaves a mark, a colour on another’s skin, marks of love or hate, family or anger, friendship or lust. Neil is the boy without colours on his skin, with scars instead of marks. All he wants is to leave his mark, to be real, to be remembered.

/Violence

written in the stars by cloudtalking ( T | 2,095 | 1/1)

this is the boy that turned andrew’s world from night to day. the boy that turned shades of gray to blinding colors, and never seemed to notice nor care.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!!!!

paint my skin in painful truths by Dancyon ( Not Rated | 1,115 | 1/1)

a world where every time someone touches you, they leave a tiny tattoo that represents you and them and your future. Neil doesn’t remember a lot of good touches, and he doesn’t have a lot of happy tattoos, but with Andrew by his side he thinks he might like himself a little bit more.

This is mostly fluff with some angst, because this is still me.

Black and White until Tonight by booksareourlove for queenofseventeen ( T | 508 | 1/1)

His mother told him colours weren’t real. His mother told him she had never seen the colours of the sky. His mother told him that they were broken. People like them weren’t meant for something as delicate as colours. As soulmates. Colours weren’t real but he would still like to imagine the colours of the sky.

The world is black and white until you meet your soulmate. For some, seeing colour is not like jumping into water, but rather walking through mist until you realise it’s actually raining and your clothes are soaked.

stay as long as you need. by lolainslackss ( T | 2,995 | 1/1)

The soulmate timer counts down to your soulmate’s death. Apparently, Andrew’s soulmate doesn’t have long to live.

in pieces by archieknight ( G | 6,146 | 1/1)

Was it this difficult for everyone, or were they all just so broken that their pieces couldn’t fit the way destiny wanted anymore?

paint my body gold by cave_canem (T | 12,050 | 1/1)

That winter, Jean comes close to his soulmate for the first time in years. He knows this because his side is burning where the mark is branded in his skin. It’s pain unlike anything he’s ever felt: pulsing with his heartbeat and glowing through the skin; almost soft with something like a forgotten childhood memory.

never an empty room by cloudtalking (T | 6,510 | 1/1)

for @kevinyard: a trans neil kandreil soulmate au

soulmate (noun): a person or persons with whom one shares a soul with.

visit (noun): 1. an act of going or coming to see a person or place socially, as a tourist, or for some other purpose. 2. when a soul is stretched thin and snaps closed, causing one to see and be seen by their soulmate

/Graphic Depictions of Violence

A Home, for the Holidays by zen_fox (M | 3,321 | 1/1)

Three Christmases, in the lives of three soulmates.

good game by unrain (T | 1,996 | 1/1)

I don’t like you, but I can’t deny that your shot was a game winner sprawls around Kevin’s throat.

Neil’s words are a fucking joke in comparison. It’s not quite the death sentence that is a simple hi or a hello—which is a soulmark that’s kind of pathetically tragic to have in this day and age, because it just makes everything a trillion times more difficult and is basically the equivalent of your soulmate kissing you goodbye and saying see you never. But Neil’s words are pretty damn close to being that pathetically tragic. If only his soulmate wasn’t so unimaginative and dull.

Speak easy to me by The_time_it_takes (Not Rated | 3,370 | 1/1)

between hoping and believing by cryptidkidprem (T | 47,332 | 16/16)

Jean convinced himself a long time ago that he doesn't have a soulmate. Or maybe he just wants to believe that. Things would be easier if he was destined to be alone. It will at least hurt less when he inevitably winds up that way anyway.

And then there's Jeremy, who's been dreaming of meeting his match for years. For some reason, Jeremy seems determined to convince Jean that sometimes he might actually be able to have the things he hopes for, and that soulmate or no, Jean Moreau has people who will stick with him.

You're a flashlight in a dark room by trubenblack (Not Rated | 1,712 | 1/1)

The foxes in a world where everyone has their soulmates name written on them in their soulmates handwriting and the stories of how each of them dealt with them.

[frankkjonestx]

This year’s SN 10 scientists aim to solve some of science’s biggest challenges

In the midst of a pandemic that has brought so much worry and loss, it’s natural to want to help — to do some small part to solve a problem, to counter pain, or to, importantly, remind others that there is beauty and wonder in the world. Scientists have long been doing just that. Many are chasing answers to the myriad challenges that people face every day, and revealing the rewards in the pursuit of knowledge itself. It’s in that spirit that we present this year’s SN 10: Scientists to Watch.

For the sixth consecutive year, Science News is featuring 10 early- and mid-career scientists who are pushing the boundaries of scientific inquiry. Some of the researchers are asking questions with huge societal importance: How do we prevent teen suicide? What are the ingredients in wildfire smoke that are damaging to health? Is there a better way to monitor earthquakes to save lives? What about finding new ways to diagnose and treat diseases?

Others are trying to grasp how weird and wonderful the natural world is — from exploring how many supermassive black holes are out there in space to understanding the minuscule genetic details that drive evolution. For instance, SaraH Zanders, one of this year’s SN 10, is unveiling the drama that unfolds when life divvies up its genetic material.

A couple of the scientists on this year’s list have also taken steps to support people from groups that are underrepresented in the sciences. These researchers see how science benefits when people from diverse backgrounds contribute to the pursuit of answers.

All of this year’s honorees are age 40 and under, and all were nominated by Nobel laureates, recently elected members of the U.S. National Academy of Sciences or previous SN 10 scientists. The world feels very different than it did at the start of 2020, when we first put out our call for SN 10 nominations, but the passion these scientists have for their work endures. The curiosity, creativity and drive of this crew offers hope that we can overcome some of our biggest challenges.

Though it often takes time, out of crisis comes action. Also out of crisis comes a renewed appreciation for small pleasures that give life meaning. These researchers find joy in the search for scientific answers. Here’s how Zanders describes what motivates her work: “It’s just I like to solve puzzles.” — Elizabeth Quill

The 2020 SN 10: Scientists to Watch

Tonima Tasnim Ananna

Alessandra Corsi

Emily Fischer

Prashant Jain

Anna Mueller

Phiala Shanahan

Mikhail Shapiro

Bo Wang

SaraH Zanders

Zhongwen Zhan

Black hole hunter seeks a cosmic census

Credit: Eli Burakian/Dartmouth College

Tonima Tasnim Ananna, 29 Astrophysicist

Affiliation: Dartmouth College Hometown: Dhaka, Bangladesh Favorite black hole: Cygnus X-1

Standout research

Tonima Tasnim Ananna is bringing the heaviest black holes out of hiding. She has drawn the most complete picture yet of black holes across the universe — where they are, how they grow and how they affect their environments. And she did it with the help of artificial intelligence.

As far as astronomers can tell, nearly every galaxy stows a black hole at its center, weighing millions or billions of times the mass of the sun. Though these supermassive black holes can heat surrounding material until it glows brighter than all the galaxy’s stars combined, the light can be concealed by gas and dust also drawn in by the black hole’s pull. High-energy X-rays cut through that dusty veil. So for her Ph.D., completed in 2019, Ananna gathered surveys from four X-ray telescopes, more datasets than any previous study had used. Her goal was to create a model of how black holes grow and change across cosmic history. “It was supposed to be a short paper,” Ananna says. But models that explained one or a few of the datasets didn’t work for the full sample. “It stumped us for some time.”

To break the gridlock, she developed a neural network, a type of artificial intelligence, to find a description of the black hole population that explained what all the observatories saw. “She just went off and taught herself machine learning,” says astrophysicist Meg Urry of Yale University, Ananna’s Ph.D. adviser. “She doesn’t say, ‘Oh, I can’t do this.’ She just figures out a way to learn it and do it.” One early result of the model suggests that there are many more active black holes out there than previously realized.

Big goal

Black holes could be gobbling down gas as fast as theoretically possible.

Galaxies live and die by their black holes. “When a black hole puts out energy into the galaxy, it can cause stars to form,” Ananna says. “Or it could blow gas away,” shutting down star formation and stunting the galaxy’s growth (SN: 3/31/20). So understanding black holes is key to understanding how cosmic structures — everything from galaxy clusters down to planets and perhaps even life — came to be. Ananna’s model is built on data describing black holes at different cosmic distances. Because looking far in space is like looking back in time, the model shows how black holes grow and change over time. It could also help figure out how efficiently black holes eat. Early hints suggest black holes could be gobbling down gas as fast as theoretically possible, which may help explain how some got so big so fast (SN: 3/16/18).

Inspiration

When Ananna was a 5-year-old in Dhaka, Bangladesh, her mother told her about the Pathfinder spacecraft landing on Mars. Her mother was a homemaker, she says, but was curious about science and encouraged Ananna’s curiosity, too. “That’s when I realized there were other worlds,” she says. “That’s when I wanted to study astronomy.” There were not a lot of opportunities to study space in Bangladesh, so she came to the United States for undergrad, attending Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania. She chose an all-women’s school not known for a lot of drinking to reassure her parents that she was not “going abroad to party.” Although Ananna intended to keep her head down and study, she was surprised by the social opportunities she found. “The women at Bryn Mawr were fiercely feminist, articulate, opinionated and independent,” she says. “It really helped me grow a lot.” Traveling for internships at NASA and CERN, the European particle physics laboratory near Geneva, and a year at the University of Cambridge, boosted her confidence. (She did end up going to some parties — “no alcohol for me, though.”)

Now, Ananna is giving back. She cofounded Wi-STEM (pronounced “wisdom”), a mentorship network for girls and young women who are interested in science. She and four other Bangladeshi scientists who studied in the United States mentor a group of 20 female high school and college students in Bangladesh, helping them find paths to pursue science. — Lisa Grossman

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Pioneer pairs light with gravity waves

Credit: Texas Tech Univ.

Alessandra Corsi, 40 Astrophysicist

Affiliation: Texas Tech University Hometown: Rome, Italy Favorite telescope: Very Large Array, New Mexico

Standout research

On September 3, 2017, Alessandra Corsi finally saw what she had been waiting for since mid-August: a small dot in her telescope images that was the radio afterglow of a neutron star collision. That stellar clash, discovered by the Advanced Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory team, or LIGO, which included Corsi, was the first direct sighting of a neutron star collision (SN: 10/16/17). The event, dubbed GW170817, was also the first of any kind seen in both gravitational waves and light waves.

Telescopes around the world spotted all kinds of light from the crash site, but one particular kind, the radio waves, took their sweet time showing up. Corsi had been waiting since August 17, when the gravitational waves were spotted. “Longest two weeks of my life,” Corsi says. The radio waves were key to understanding a superfast particle jet launched by the colliding stars.

Early on, the jet appeared to have been smothered by a plume of debris from the collision (SN: 12/20/17). But follow-up radio observations made by Corsi’s team and others confirmed that the jet had punched through the wreckage (SN: 2/22/19). This jet was the first of its kind to be seen from the side, allowing Corsi and colleagues to probe its structure. The jet almost certainly would have gone unnoticed if the gravitational waves hadn’t clued astronomers in.

Big goal

Corsi is a pioneer in the new field of multimessenger astronomy, which pairs observations of light waves with spacetime ripples, or gravitational waves. The pairing is like having eyes and ears on the cosmos, Corsi says. “You cannot learn all that you could with only one of the two.” In the case of GW170817, gravitational waves revealed how the neutron stars danced around each other as they spiraled toward collision, and light waves unveiled the type of material left in the aftermath (SN: 10/23/19). Using this multimessenger approach could also give astronomers a more complete picture of other cataclysms, such as smashups between neutron stars and black holes, and the explosive deaths of massive stars. Such spectacular events “reveal some of the most fundamental physics in our universe,” Corsi says.

If gravitational wave signals were converted into sound, they would create their own kind of music.

Most researchers specialize in either gravitational waves or light, but Corsi “is very well-versed in both messengers,” says Wen-fai Fong, an astrophysicist at Northwestern University in Evanston, Ill. “That makes her extremely versatile in terms of the types of multimessenger science she can study.”

What’s next

Corsi has now built a computational tool to scan LIGO data for gravitational waves stirred up by whatever is left behind in a neutron star merger. The tool is based on a paper she published in 2009 — years before LIGO scored its first gravitational wave detection (SN: 2/11/16). The paper describes the gravitational wave pattern that would signal the presence of one possible remnant: a rapidly spinning, elongated neutron star. Alternatively, a neutron star smashup could leave behind a black hole. Knowing which “tells us a lot about how matter behaves at densities way higher than we could ever explore in a lab,” Corsi says.

Inspiration

Corsi taught herself to play the piano in high school, and now enjoys playing both classical music and tunes from favorite childhood movies, like Beauty and the Beast. The audio frequencies of piano notes are similar to the frequencies of spacetime tremors picked up by LIGO. If gravitational wave signals were converted into sound, they would create their own kind of music. “That’s the thing I like to think of when I’m playing,” she says. — Maria Temming

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What’s in smoky air?

Credit: Bill Cotton/Colorado State Univ.

Emily Fischer, 39 Atmospheric chemist

Affiliation: Colorado State University Hometown: Richmond, R.I. Favorite outdoor activities: Cross-country skiing and gardening

Motivation

Emily Fischer has always cared about air pollution. “It’s innate.… It’s a calling,” she says. Exposure to air pollution raises your risk for many common ailments, such as cardiovascular disease, asthma, diabetes and obesity. But unlike some other risk factors for these diseases, “you can’t choose not to breathe, right? You have to have clean air for everyone.” In her youth, she organized rallies to clean up the cigarette smoke–filled air of her Rhode Island high school. That interest led Fischer to study atmospheric chemistry and motivates her current work as a self-described air pollution detective. Air pollution may conjure images of thick black plumes billowing from smokestacks, but Fischer says most air pollution is invisible and poorly understood. She combines analytical chemistry with high-flying techniques to understand where air pollution comes from and how it changes as it moves through the air.

Bold idea

Wildfire smoke like that filling the skies in the American West this season is a major, but still mysterious, source of air pollution. Thousands of different solids, liquids and gases swirl together to form wildfire smoke, and its chemical composition changes as it blows through the atmosphere. This dynamic mixture, which is also affected by what’s burning on the ground, is tricky to measure, since each of its many components requires highly specialized equipment and expertise to assess. The equipment also has to be airborne, typically lofted into the air via planes or balloons. “There has been beautiful work on wildfire smoke,” Fischer says, “but in most studies, we just have not had all the measurements needed to really interpret things.” 

“You can’t choose not to breathe, right? You have to have clean air for everyone.”

Emily Fischer

To get a fuller view, she dreamed big: “Why not try to measure everything, and measure it systematically?” She pulled together a diverse team of 10 lead researchers, and scores more graduate students and postdocs, to pull off the most comprehensive analysis of wildfire smoke ever attempted, a project dubbed WE-CAN. During the summer of 2018, Fischer led over a dozen six-hour flights over the West, chasing wildfire smoke plumes and systematically measuring the air in and around smoke plumes with nearly 30 different instruments crammed into the cargo hold of a C-130 plane.

“[WE-CAN] is a big collaboration,” says Ronald Cohen, an atmospheric chemist at the University of California, Berkeley. He says success stemmed in large part from the team that came together.

“Making an environment for successful collaboration is really satisfying to me,” Fischer says.

While team members are still analyzing the data, the project is already revealing some of the smoke’s secrets. For example, formaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide — two chemicals linked to cancer and other health problems — are abundant in wildfire smoke. Recent wildfires show how important it is to understand the role of climate change in fires, Fischer says, and “who is most vulnerable in our society, and how we can best prepare and protect those communities.”

Fisher is also planning to adapt some of what she’s learned from WE-CAN to track ammonia emissions from farms and feed lots, which are another major source of air pollution.

Big goal

Fischer is deeply committed to bringing more undergraduate women, especially women of color, into the geosciences. And she’s using science to figure out how. She brought a team of social scientists and geoscientists together to study how different interventions can help. She and colleagues found that for every female role model a student has, her probability of continuing on in her geosciences major roughly doubles. Having someone to look up to who looks like them is key to building a sense of belonging and identity as a scientist, Fischer says. To help build that network, Fischer started PROGRESS, a workshop and mentorship program that aims to support undergraduate women in the geosciences. Started at Colorado State University in 2014, the program has since expanded, reaching over 300 women at institutions across the United States.

For her own mentees, Fischer tries to instill a willingness to take risks and go after big, bold questions. “The easy things are done,” she says. Pushing forward our understanding of pressing questions means chasing research projects that might lead nowhere, she says, or might crack open a new field of research. “It’s OK to be wrong, and it’s OK to take risks. That’s what science needs right now.”  — Jonathan Lambert

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Taking chemistry lessons from nature

Credit: L. Brian Stauffer/UI News Bureau

Prashant Jain, 38 Physical chemist

Affiliation: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Hometown: Mumbai, India Favorite element: Gold

Big goal

Prashant Jain explores how light interacts with matter — such as how plants use sunlight to photosynthesize — and applies that knowledge to new problems. He recently took lessons from nature to convert carbon dioxide into other useful molecules. In a paper last year in Nature Communications, Jain and Sungju Yu, also at Illinois at the time, reported using gold nanoparticles as a catalyst to drive chemical reactions between carbon dioxide and water.

When light hit the nanoparticles, it set off a series of reactions that converted carbon dioxide into hydrocarbon fuels such as methane and propane. In essence, the process not only sucked carbon dioxide — a greenhouse gas — out of the air, but it also made that carbon into fuel. No wonder the oil giant Shell is funding Jain’s work. The whole process isn’t very efficient, so Jain is working to improve how much carbon dioxide gets used and how much fuel gets produced. But along the way he hopes to learn more about how nature uses energy to make matter — and to inspire his lab to create more sustainable and renewable energy technologies.

“I am myself still a student.”

Prashant Jain

In another example of using chemistry to push toward future technologies, Jain and colleagues shined light on gold and platinum nanoparticles and triggered reactions that liberated hydrogen from ammonia molecules. Hydrogen is important in many industries — fuel cells for zero-carbon vehicles use it, for example — but it can be dangerous to transport because it’s flammable. Jain’s discovery could allow workers to transport ammonia instead, which is safer, and then free the hydrogen from the ammonia once it has arrived where’s it needed. The work was reported online in July in Angewandte Chemie.

Superpower

Jain has a remarkable ability and optimism to see unsuccessful laboratory experiments as successful steps toward understanding the natural world, says Karthish Manthiram, a chemical engineer at MIT. As a first-year graduate student at the University of California, Berkeley, Manthiram remembers being frustrated that his experiments weren’t turning out as expected. But Jain, a postdoctoral fellow in the same lab, stepped in to help and recast the problematic results. “He’s always viewed what others see as failure as moments of clarity that build up to moments when things make more sense,” Manthiram says. “For me that was an important lesson in how to be a scientist.”

Inspiration

Growing up in a family that worked mostly in business and finance, Jain fell in love with science as a preteen — inspired in part by watching the movie Jurassic Park and its fictional depiction of what might be possible through understanding the molecular world. Soon he spotted a physics textbook for sale from a street vendor and bought it. “I tried to read the book, nothing much made sense,” he says. ��I wanted to be the one to figure out all these mysteries of nature.” He chose to major in chemical engineering in college (inspired in part by a magazine published by the chemical company DuPont), and then switched to physical chemistry when he moved to the United States to get a Ph.D.

Promoted this year to full professor, Jain has never stopped pushing to acquire new knowledge; when he finished teaching this last spring semester, he enrolled in an online MIT course on quantum information science. “I am myself still a student,” he says. — Alexandra Witze

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Challenging ideas about youth suicide

Credit: Sarah Diefendorf

Anna Mueller, 40 Sociologist

Affiliation: Indiana University Hometown: Houston, Texas Favorite fieldwork: Observing rituals

Standout research

Between 2000 and 2015, at a high school of about 2,000 students in the town of Poplar Grove (a pseudonym), 16 former and current students died by suicide; three other similar-aged individuals in the community, mostly at private schools, also took their own lives. A clinician who had grown up in the town reached out to Anna Mueller for help breaking the cruel cycle. Before that e-mail in fall 2013, Mueller was using big data to understand why teen and young adult suicide rates in the United States were spiking. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that suicides among 10- to 24-year-olds jumped 56 percent between 2007 and 2017.

Scholars theorized that suicidal people attracted other suicidal people. But Mueller’s work undercut that idea. In 2015 in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, for instance, she reported that merely having a suicidal friend did not increase a teen’s suicide risk. A teen’s risk only went up with awareness that a teenage friend had made a suicide attempt. “Knowledge of the attempt matters to transforming … risk,” Mueller says. She carried an understanding of that contagion effect to Poplar Grove, where she worked with sociologist Seth Abrutyn of the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, the half of the duo who is more focused on the theoretical.

Anna Mueller’s long-term goal is to create a sort of litmus test that identifies schools that could be at risk of a suicide cluster.

The team conducted 110 interviews and focus group meetings, lasting from 45 minutes to four hours, with Poplar Grove residents, plus some individuals outside the community for comparison. The team’s research revealed that teens felt an intense pressure to achieve in their affluent, mostly white town, where everybody seemed to know everyone else. While teens and young adults in a first wave of suicides might have had mental health problems, peers and community members often attributed those deaths to the town’s pressure cooker environment. That narrative, however incomplete, was especially strong when the youth who killed themselves were classic overachievers. Tragically, over time, that script became embedded in the local culture, making even youth who weren’t previously suicidal see suicide as a viable option (SN: 4/3/19), Mueller says.

Mueller and Abrutyn were among the first researchers to start chipping away at the underlying reasons for why suicide rates have been rising in high schoolers, particularly overachieving girls without obvious underlying mental health problems, says Bernice Pescosolido, a sociologist at Indiana University in Bloomington who helped bring Mueller into the school’s sociology department. “What Anna and Seth have really been able to show is how imitation works and what the contagion effect looks like on the ground.”

Big goal

Mueller’s long-term goal is to create a sort of litmus test that identifies schools that could be at risk of a suicide cluster. That way, school and community leaders can intervene before the first suicide and its resulting firestorm. Since fall 2018, she has been researching suicide trends in school districts in Colorado that are more diverse than Poplar Grove. When it comes to school culture, her early work shows, there’s often a trade-off between academic or athletic excellence and a supportive environment.

Top tool

In anticipation of her work in Poplar Grove, Mueller knew she needed a more boots-on-the-ground approach than her big data training allowed. So she trained in qualitative methods, including how to design a study; interview techniques, such as how to write questions to elicit desired conversations; and the detailed data analysis required for this research tactic.  

Mueller also sees the value in observing interactions, a common sociological approach. This spring, with the pandemic in full swing, she spent a lot of time on her home computer watching socially distant graduation ceremonies in her Colorado schools. She found that a school’s culture showed in the details, such as whether valedictorians addressed hot-button issues, such as the Black Lives Matter movement, in their speeches. “Of all of my moments in the field, rituals are the ones that tug at my own heartstrings because I’m watching kids graduate and that’s just inherently beautiful, but it also is a very powerful data moment,” she says. — Sujata Gupta

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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The inner lives of protons and neutrons

Credit: P. Shanahan

Phiala Shanahan, 29 Theoretical physicist

Affiliation: MIT Hometown: Adelaide, Australia Favorite subatomic particle: The gluon

Big goal

When Phiala Shanahan was a graduate student, she was shocked to learn that experiments disagreed on the size of the proton (SN: 9/10/19). “Protons and neutrons are the key building blocks of 99 percent of the visible matter in the universe,” she says. “And we know, in some sense, surprisingly little about their internal structure.”

“If there’s something I don’t understand, I’m extremely stubborn when it comes to figuring out the answer.”

Phiala Shanahan

That ignorance inspires her studies. She aims to calculate the characteristics of protons and neutrons based on fundamental physics. That includes not just their size, but also their mass and the nature of their components — how, for example, the quarks and gluons that make them up are sprinkled around inside. Such calculations can help scientists put the standard model, the theory that governs elementary particles and their interactions, to the test.

Standout research

Shanahan is known for her prowess calculating the influence of gluons, particles that carry the strong force, which binds the proton together. For example, when gluons’ contributions are included, the proton is squeezed to a pressure greater than estimated to exist within incredibly dense neutron stars, she and a coauthor reported in Physical Review Letters in 2019. “It’s a very remarkable calculation,” says physicist Volker Burkert of the Thomas Jefferson National Accelerator Facility in Newport News, Va. “That’s very fundamental, and it’s the first time it has been done.” Because they have no electric charge, gluons tend to elude experimental measurements, and that has left the particles neglected in theoretical calculations as well. Shanahan’s gluon results should be testable at a new particle collider, the Electron-Ion Collider, planned to be built at Brookhaven National Lab in Upton, N.Y. (SN: 4/18/17).

Superpower

Persistence. “I hate not knowing something,” she says. “So if there’s something I don’t understand, I’m extremely stubborn when it comes to figuring out the answer.”

Top tool

A technique called lattice QCD is the foundation for Shanahan’s work. It’s named for quantum chromodynamics, the piece of the standard model that describes the behavior of quarks and gluons. QCD should allow scientists to predict the properties of protons and neutrons from the bottom up, but the theory is incredibly complex, making full calculations impossible to perform even on the best available supercomputers. Lattice QCD is a shortcut. It breaks up space and time into a grid on which particles reside, simplifying calculations. Shanahan is leading efforts to use machine learning to rev up lattice QCD calculations — putting her persistence to good use. “We don’t have to rely on computers getting better. We can have smarter algorithms for exploiting those computers,” she says. She hopes to speed up calculations enough that she can go beyond protons and neutrons, working her way up to the properties of atomic nuclei. — Emily Conover

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How to engineer cellular helpers

Credit: Caltech

Mikhail Shapiro, 39 Biochemical engineer

Affiliation: Caltech Hometown: Kolomna, Russia Favorite protein: He can’t pick just one

Bold idea

Mikhail Shapiro believes that in the future, “we’re going to have smart biological devices that are roaming our bodies, diagnosing and treating disease” — something akin to the submarine in the 1966 classic sci-fi film Fantastic Voyage. As the shrunken sub entered and repaired the body of a sick scientist, commanders on the outside helped control it. “Similarly, we’re going to want to talk to the cells that we are going to send into the body to treat cancer, or inflammation, or neurological diseases,” Shapiro says.

Shapiro and his colleagues are working on building, watching and controlling such cellular submarines in the real world. Such a deep view inside the body might offer clues to basic science questions, such as how communities of gut bacteria grow, how immune cells migrate through the body or how brains are built cell by cell.

Despite his futuristic visions, Shapiro is often drawn to the past. “I like science history a lot,” he says. Right now, he’s in the middle of rereading the Pulitzer Prize–winning The Making of the Atomic Bomb. Just before that, he read a biography of Marie Curie.

Standout research

“There is not a protein that I learn about that I don’t think about ways to misuse it,” Shapiro says. But he’s especially fond of the proteins that build the outer shell of gas vesicles in certain kinds of bacteria. These microscopic air bags “have so many uses that were totally unanticipated,” Shapiro says.

In addition to letting bacteria sink or float, these bubbles provide a communication system, Shapiro and colleagues have found. Over the last several years, they have coaxed both bacterial cells and human cells to make gas vesicles and have placed such cells within mice. Because the air-filled pockets reflect sound, the engineered cells can be tracked from outside a mouse’s body. Using patterns of sound waves, the researchers can also drive bacterial cells around in lab dishes.

“There is not a protein that I learn about that I don’t think about ways to misuse it.”

Mikhail Shapiro

In another nod to Fantastic Voyage, scientists can weaponize these cellular submarines. “We’ve essentially turned cells into suicide agents triggered by ultrasound,” Shapiro says. This explosion could release chemicals into the surroundings and destroy nearby cells. This sort of targeted detonation could be damaging to tumors, for instance. “Complete warfare is possible,” he says.

By seeing the potential in these esoteric gas vesicles, Shapiro was “ahead of his time and hugely innovative,” says Jason Lewis, a molecular imaging scientist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. “I think we’ve only scratched the surface of what his work will do in terms of a greater impact.”

Motivation

“Frustration,” Shapiro says, is what made him switch to engineering after studying neuroscience as an undergraduate at Brown University in Providence, R.I. He realized that existing tools for studying processes inside the brain fell short. “And I didn’t see enough people making better tools.”

But he didn’t stop at developing new neuroscience technologies. “Oddly enough, once I got into the engineering part of things, I got so fascinated with weird proteins, and magnetic fields, and sound waves, and all the more physics-y side of things. That’s become as much, if not more, of my passion as the original neuroscience.” In his Twitter bio, Shapiro describes his expertise as succinctly as possible: “Bio-Acousto-Magneto-Neuro-Chemical Engineer at Caltech.” — Laura Sanders

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Regeneration through an engineer’s eyes

Credit: Stanford Medicine

Bo Wang, 39 Bioengineer

Affiliation: Stanford University Hometown: Nanjing, China Favorite organism: Planarian

Inspiration

Planarians are the most charismatic of all flatworms, Bo Wang says. “They have this childish cuteness that people just love.” But the adorable facade isn’t what drew Wang to study the deceptively simple worms, which resemble little arrows with eyes. It was planarians’ superpower: regeneration. Slice a planarian into pieces and, within a week or two, each chunk will grow into a new flatworm — head and all. Studying the cells that drive this process could offer lessons for turning on regeneration in human tissues, to treat various diseases, regrow limbs and grow organs for next-generation transplants.

Bold idea

Wang uses statistical physics to figure out how planarians regenerate entire organs cell by cell. Newly formed brain cells, for instance, must physically position themselves to avoid turning into “amorphous aggregates,” Wang says. His interest in how things fit together began in graduate school at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. There, Wang trained as a physicist and worked on self-assembling materials. Wang now works to uncover the physical rules that living cells follow. “I’m fascinated by how molecules arrange themselves seemingly randomly, but there are still statistical rules that those molecules will follow,” he says.

Bo Wang works to uncover the physical rules that living cells follow.

His physics-based approach is raising new questions and unveiling biological processes that would be hard for biologists to come by using traditional methods alone, says regeneration biologist Alejandro Sánchez Alvarado of the Stowers Institute for Medical Research in Kansas City, Mo. Wang is “a new breed” of flatworm biologist, Sánchez Alvarado says. “He is occupying a very unique niche in the community of developmental biology.”

Standout research

Wang and colleagues recently found that nerve cells, or neurons, in regenerating planarian brains form a predictable pattern dictated by the types of cells in their midst. Planarians brains are akin to cities made up of neighborhoods of neurons. Within each neighborhood, no two neurons that do the same job will live next to each other; those cells repulse each other but stay close enough to communicate, the researchers reported in the May Nature Physics. Because of this behavior, increasing the types of neurons in a neighborhood limits the ways cells can pack together. The team dubbed this packing process “chromatic jamming,” after a famous mathematical puzzle called the four-color problem (SN: 3/6/09).

The finding is surprising and challenges “what we think we understand about organogenesis and about organization of cells within an organ,” says Sánchez Alvarado. Chromatic jamming appears to be key to how the planarian brain comes together, guiding single cells into neighborhoods that are a driving force in organ development, he says. If similar physical rules apply to human cells, that could help scientists sketch blueprints for engineering and growing artificial organs. — Cassie Martin

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Cheaters can’t evade this genetic sleuth

Credit: Stowers Institute for Medical Research

SaraH Zanders, 37 Geneticist

Affiliation: Stowers Institute for Medical Research Hometown: Glenwood, Iowa Favorite organism: Fission yeast

Backstory

An invitation to work in the lab of her genetics professor Robert Malone at the University of Iowa in Iowa City set SaraH Zanders on the path to becoming a scientist. “It was a turning point in my life,” Zanders says. Before that, she didn’t really know how she would put her biology degree to use, or what it meant to be a scientist. In Malone’s lab, she fell in love with meiosis, the process by which organisms divvy up genetic information to pass on to future generations. The first step is julienning the genome and swapping pieces of chromosomes. “That just seems like such a bad idea to basically shred your [DNA] in the process of getting it from one generation to the next,” she says. She started studying the proteins involved in making the cuts. “It was like I was born to do that. I never would have known without that push.”

A different kind of push led Zanders to spell her first name with a capital H: An elementary school teacher kept leaving the letter off. Zanders has capitalized it for emphasis ever since. “If I write it without the big H, it doesn’t look like my name anymore,” she says. “It feels like somebody else.”

Standout research

Meiosis is full of conflict. For her postdoctoral work, Zanders focused on a particular type of dustup caused by some selfish genes — genes that propagate themselves even if it hurts the host. As the monk Gregor Mendel laid out in his study of pea plants, a particular version of a gene typically has a 50-50 chance of being passed on to the next generation. But the selfish genes Zanders was studying, a type called meiotic drivers because they propel themselves during meiosis, manage to get themselves inherited far more often. “These kinds of systems do a complete end run around Mendel’s laws,” says Daniel Barbash, an evolutionary geneticist at Cornell University.

In Schizosaccharomyces pombe, also called fission yeast, Zanders discovered, a family of selfish genes makes moves that would be right at home in a Game of Thrones story line. Zanders and colleagues were the first to work out the molecular tricks that thesegenes use to skirt Mendel’s laws, reporting the findings in eLife in 2017. The genes, known as wtf genes, produce both a poison and an antidote. All of the spores — the yeast’s gametes — get the poison, but only those that inherit certain gene versions also get an antidote. Spores that don’t get the antidote die, ensuring that only offspring with specific wtf gene versions survive to pass their genes on to the next generation. For the fission yeast, such predatory tactics can have big consequences, even driving two nearly identical strains toward becoming different species. Some selfish genes have made themselves essential for proper development (SN: 7/3/18). In humans and other animals, genetic conflicts may lead to infertility.

For the fission yeast, such predatory tactics can have big consequences, even driving two nearly identical strains toward becoming different species.

“This extremely important family of meiotic cheaters has been just sitting in plain sight waiting for somebody who had the right kind of lens and the care … to discover them,” says Harmit Malik, an evolutionary geneticist at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center in Seattle and Zanders’ postdoctoral mentor. Zanders helped build a case that the skewed inheritance in these yeast was a real effect, not just fluctuations in the data. Before she began her work, virtually nothing was known about meiotic drivers in yeast. Now the wtf genes are among the best known meiotic drivers studied in any lab organism. Some selfish genes in worms also use the poison-antidote trick to beat the competition (SN: 5/11/17). Meiotic drivers in fruit flies, mice — and maybe humans — win genetic conflicts by other means (SN: 10/31/17; SN: 2/24/16).

Motivation

Zanders is now on the lookout for other genetic fights in yeast. Understanding such conflicts more generally may help answer big questions in evolution, as well as shedding light on human infertility. As for what motivates her, “It’s just I like to solve puzzles,” Zanders laughs. “I wish it was a deep desire to help people, but it’s definitely not that.” — Tina Hesman Saey

Back to SN 10 list

Quake expert co-opts underground cables

Credit: Caltech

Zhongwen Zhan, 33 Seismologist

Affiliation: Caltech Hometown: Jinzhai County, China Favorite hobby: Carpentry

Big goal

As the Rose Parade wound through Pasadena, Calif., on January 1, 2020, Zhongwen Zhan listened to the underground echoes of the marching bands and dancers. With a sensitive technology known as distributed acoustic sensing, or DAS, Zhan tracked the parade’s progress. He even identified the most ground-shaking band. (It was the Southern University and A&M College’s Human Jukebox.)

The study was a small but elegant proof of concept, revealing how DAS is capable of mapping out and distinguishing among small seismic sources that span just a few meters: zigzagging motorcycles, the heavy press of floats on the road, the steady pace of a marching band. But Zhan seeks to use the technology for bigger-picture scientific questions, including developing early warning systems for earthquakes, studying the forces that control the slow slide of glaciers and exploring seismic signals on other worlds.

Zhan has a “crystal-clear vision” of DAS’ scientific possibilities, says Nate Lindsey, a geophysicist at Stanford University who is also part of the small community of researchers exploring the uses of DAS. “When you get such a cool new tool, you like to just apply it to everything,” he adds. But Zhan’s expertise is “very deep, and it goes into many different areas. He knows what’s important.”

So far, Zhan and other researchers have used the technology to study aftershocks following the 2019 Ridgecrest earthquakes in Southern California (SN: 7/12/19), to demonstrate that interactions between ocean waves produce tiny quakes beneath the North Sea, and to examine the structure of glaciers.

Top tool

DAS piggybacks off the millions of fiber-optic cables that run beneath the ground, ferrying data for internet service, phones and televisions (SN: 6/14/18). Not all of the glass cables are in use all of the time, and these strands of “dark fiber” can be temporarily repurposed as seismic sensors. When pulses of light are fired into the fibers’ ends, defects in the glass reflect the light back to its source. As vibrations within the Earth shift and stretch the fibers, a pulse’s travel time also shifts.

Whole networks of seismic sensors could be deployed in places currently difficult or impossible to monitor — at the ocean bottom, atop Antarctic glaciers, on other planets.

Over the last few years, scientists have begun testing the effectiveness of these dark fibers as inexpensive, dense seismic arrays — which researchers call DAS — to help monitor earthquakes and create fine-scale images of the subsurface. In these settings, Zhan notes, DAS is proving to be a very useful supplement to existing seismograph networks. But the potential is far greater. Whole networks of sensors could be deployed in places currently difficult or impossible to monitor — at the bottom of the ocean, atop Antarctic glaciers, on other planets. “Seismology is a very observation-based field, so a seismic network is a fundamental tool,” he says.

Inspiration

“I’ve been interested in science since I was young, but wasn’t sure what kind of science I wanted to do,” Zhan says. In China, students usually have to decide on a field before they go to college, he adds, but “I was fortunate.” At age 15, Zhan was admitted to a special class for younger kids within the University of Science and Technology of China in Hefei. The program allowed him to try out different research fields. A nature lover, Zhan gravitated toward the earth sciences. “Environmental science, chemistry, atmospheric science — I tried all of them.”

Then, in late 2004, a magnitude 9.1 earthquake ruptured the seafloor under the Indian Ocean, spawning deadly tsunamis (SN: 1/5/05). After hearing from a researcher studying the quake, Zhan knew he wanted to study seismology. “I was amazed by how seismologists can study very remote things by monitoring vibrations in the Earth,” Zhan says. The data “are just wiggles, complicated wiggles,” but so much info can be extracted. “And when we do it fast, it can provide a lot of benefit to society.” — Carolyn Gramling

Back to SN 10 list

from Tips By Frank https://www.sciencenews.org/article/sn-10-scientists-to-watch-2020

[thekillingquill]

The Birthday Showcase

CREDIT FOR THIS AWESOME BIRTHDAY GRAPHIC TO @jugheadxreaderinyourhead (I’m so sorry I let this publish without saying how much I love and appreciate that you did this for me).

It’s my birthday today and I’m going to be away from my computer to be with my very favourite person (’sup Daddy). I thought it would be nice to give you all a little gift today! Below is a list of upcoming fics with a summary and a small sneak peak. There are 8 upcoming fics under the cut. One fic was excluded because it’s so sad. 

 Tell me which one you’re most excited for in a message!

Set a Fire in My Head - Jughead x OC (Standalone)

Summary: Jughead quiets her mind, but when the relationship ends she spirals out of control.

Sneak Peak:

There was so much noise in my head before Jughead came along.

It started when I was four or five years old as a whisper saying I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t. As I got older, the voice became louder and began to say other things: I’m not good enough, a failure, a burden, so stupid, fucking unlovable. It itched at my brain, scratched at my heart, and kept spinning tales of terror to keep me up at night.

Worry wrapped its arms around me and refused to let go. Why did I do that? Why did I say that? How can I fix this mistake? What will happen to me if my parents die? What if everything I’ve ever known fell away? What would it be like if things could just be quiet?

There were times where I could get the voices to be quiet on my own like when I immersed myself in a book or a movie. Or when I would take a medication that made me drowsy. But all Jughead had to do was sit next to me to chase the voices away.

Hateship/Loveship - Reggie x @tasteofswallowedwords (Standalone, Not Another Tragic Backstory spinoff)

Summary: Ash has one rule: no boyfriends. Reggie prides himself on being a bit of a rule-breaker. The origin of the on and off again couple from Not Another Tragic Backstory!

Sneak Peak: 

Ash had one rule for high school: no serious boyfriends. It was a rule that was well publicized on the first day of Freshmen orientation when Archie Andrews asked her to get a milkshake after school.

“No offense, Ginger Jesus, but you look like a commitment trap and I’m not looking for a boyfriend.” It was the moment that Reggie became infatuated, which didn’t go unnoticed by Moose.

It was the beginning of their Hateship/Loveship, because Ash steadfastly refuses to use the term relationship as it pertains to meathead jock, Reggie Mantle.

Practical Magic - Jughead x OC (Multi-Chapter Fic)

Summary: He won’t be a prince, but he’ll wear a crown. He’ll write true crime novels and sleep under a canopy of stars. PracticalMagicAU where Sabrina Spellman is love obsessed and her cautious cousin will do anything to avoid the family curse.

Sneak Peak: 

There is a rotting branch on the Spellman family tree, and it’s the Foster line. Over a hundred years ago, my great-great-great something rather fell in love with the wrong man (married = wrong) and the townspeople accused her of witchcraft (well, they weren’t wrong). She was set to be executed, but the execution failed (witchcraft!!!). The town sent her to exile, but she had faith that her lover would follow. Spoiler alert: he did not. Of course, this tragedy wouldn’t be complete without a pregnancy.

So let’s break this down for you. My great-great-great something = an exiled adulterer and a pregnant teenaged witch. Her unnamed lover = a cowardly piece of shit. My ancestor might be the inspiration behind the “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” quote. Instead of crying it out and moving on, she straight up cursed the family. No man would be able to fall in love with a Foster woman without meeting a tragic end.

This is essentially the version of the story that my cousin Sabrina told me. She was the first person to tell me this story, and I didn’t believe her. Then my dad got clipped by a messenger bike while on a business trip in New York and fell in front of a cab.

Date My Dad - Fred Andrews x OC (Length TBD)

Summary: Archie and Jughead think it’s about time that Fred moved on. Together they try to find the perfect partner for him, not realizing that she could be closer than they think.

Sneak Peak: 

I knew that Archie Andrews and Jughead Jones were up to no good the moment they sat at the counter in Pop’s instead of their usual booth with the rest of their Sad Breakfast Club gang. They were engrossed in a purple flyer and their conversation was quickly growing heated, but stopped the moment I made my way towards them to take their order.

They both flashed me their most innocent smiles, but I was impervious to all of their tricks by now.

“Do I want to know?” I had asked teasingly. Jughead looked at Archie with wide eyes, motioning with quick jerks of his chin for his best friend to do something. It took Archie too long to figure out what Jughead was saying. By the time he tucked the flyer under his binder, I’d already seen enough.

A picture of Fred Andrews from a profile The Register did last year on local business owners stared up at me, under big bolded letters that read DATE MY DAD!

Fred was going to lose his goddamn mind.

The History of Love OC X TBD (Multi-Chapter)

Summary: Betty Cooper calls an emergency Sad Breakfast Club meeting where she convinces her friends to write letters to their college graduate selves. Emma takes this opportunity to remind her future self about her past loves in the form of a graph. Pairing TBD throughout the story as we venture through Emma’s string of Riverdale boyfriends.

Sneak Peak:

Betty and Jughead are the only two in our usual booth. She’s sitting with one foot on the bench, resting her chin on her knee and he’s leaning into her, his arm wrapped loosely around her shoulders. One of her hands is playing with his fingers. It’s uncomfortable for me to see this for a myriad of reasons: 1. My last relationship did not end well. 2. I’ve been known to be a little too “Boy Crazy” 3. I have sworn off boys for senior year.

Jughead is the first to notice my approach and is quick to move away from Betty. I smile at him awkwardly and he raises his eyebrows at me quickly, our only mode of communication since he started dating Betty.

“Emma, hey!” Betty gets up to greet me energetically with a hug--something that makes me desperate for coffee. By the time I’ve settled into the corner of the booth, Archie and Veronica have arrived. Kevin and Cheryl arrive together shortly after and we all settle in for Betty’s speech (there’s always a speech).

“So, I had this idea. We’re all graduating in a week and after that we’re all splitting up to go to different schools.” Betty pauses and Kevin takes this moment to interrupt.

“Well, we’re not ALL splitting up. Jughead and Emma are going to be in the same state.”

“Okay, we’re all splitting up with the exception of Jughead and Emma,” Betty amends with a huff. She pushes on like Kevin had never interrupted. “I had an idea that we should do a time capsule. We could all write a letter to our future selves and put in some mementos. You know, things that really remind us about our high school experience. After we’ve all graduated college we can dig it up and read our letters here at Pop’s.” Betty is beaming at us, absolutely thrilled with her idea.

The rest of us, not so much. After a bit of Betty Cooper persuasion, we all agree to participate. Even Cheryl and Kevin concede defeat after a while. Nobody bats an eye when Betty reaches under the table and starts handing out waterproof boxes for our letters/mementos.

Last Young Renegade - Jughead Jones x OC (Length TBD)

Summary: Southside High is now home to the Young Renegades, a gang from what was once a nearby town. Will they be able to get through the year without a fatality?

Sneak Peak:

After a murder, a suicide, and a drug scandal Jughead Jones didn’t think anything else could shakeup his small town of Riverdale. He was wrong. Fred Andrews got shot and then it was announced that the town limits were changing.

With this change came the Renegades, a gang from the neighbouring town. Suddenly there territory was part of Riverdale and it was an all out gang war. The first day that Renegade students came into Southside High, no less than five brawls broke out around the school.

With Renegades and Serpents trapped in the same school, there was a high chance that another dead teenager would wash up on the shores of Sweetwater River. And soon.

Leather Jacket - Jughead x OC (Standalone)

Summary: They met at a party not too long after Jughead receives his Serpent jacket. She’s not like anyone he’s met before: she’s grown up too fast, she makes mistakes, and she’s stranded again.

Sneak Peak:

Jughead no longer ignores unknown numbers when they call. Usually it’s his dad calling collect from prison--those calls are infrequent and short because without a job, Jughead can’t afford the fees. Most of their conversations take place in person. Still, he answers unknown numbers just in case.

“Hello?” He asks with mild trepidation.

“Hey,” she greets, voice muffled. “It’s Mila.”

“Hey,” he replies with mild confusion. “What happened to your cell phone?”

“Nothing, it’s in my pocket.” She lets out a tired laugh. It sounds tinny and distant.

“Where are you?” He asks her, sitting up in bed like he might be able to see her out his window.

“Truck stop,” she laughs again. “It’s a long story.”

Daddy Issues - FP Jones x OC (Multi Chapter)

Summary: Prior to the Jason Blossom murder, FP Jones is just a broken man who misses his family and is down on his luck. She’s always had a soft spot for broken men.

Sneak Peak:

“Jesus,” FP mutters to himself, cringing away from the sight of one of the Wyrm’s waitresses kissing a man old enough to be her father. The man is clad in a Serpent jacket, and FP laughs humourlessly before tilting his bottle to get the last few drops out of it. He lifts the empty glass and puts it down on the counter hard.

The bartender is quickly passing him a fresh beer, good service not hard to come by at 2:00 pm on a Tuesday. He’s still shaking his head at the odd coupling in the corner--the Serpent now has his hands full of the waitresses’ ass and FP is getting an eyeful of bare thigh--a tantalizing tease at the possibility of no underwear.

He looks back at the bartender who is leaning her elbows on the dirty countertop, watching the same show as him with a mildly amused smile. FP laughs again, knowing that she has just caught him out for staring.

“What is a young girl doing with a guy that old?” He asks her, his words slow and running together. He’s been here since 11:00 am and doesn’t bother to count his drinks anymore.

“She’s always had shit taste in guys, no offense to you or your buddies.” The bartender replies sardonically. Something in the wry twist of her lips reminds FP of his son. He’s seen her here before, but this is the first time he’s really looking at her. She’s cute, in a rough around the edges kind of way. Her eyeliner is smudged, dark hair pulled in a loose knot atop of her head. Her shirt is low enough that he can see the lace cups of her bra--he tries not to stare, but his head is heavy.

“What do you think the age difference is?” He asks her conversationally. She purses her lips and clicks her tongue once.

“Well, how old is he?” She asks, finally turning her gaze onto him.

“I dunno, forty-five give or take a few.” He guesses, words slurring audibly.

“Well, she’s my age. So that’s about a difference of 24 years.”

Thank you for reading and please feel free to message me to let me know which one was your favourite! A message from you is the best gift I could hope for.

[theconservativebrief]

After more than eight years of shenanigans involving candy people, alternate universes, vampires, nearly 3,000 wiki pages’ worth of lore, some highly unusual exclamations (“Mathematical!”), and bacon pancakes, Cartoon Network’s beloved Adventure Time is coming to a close.

Since its debut in 2010, the series has evolved into one of the most popular and influential programs in the channel’s history. Despite being first and foremost a kids’ show, it built a sizable fan base among older audiences and gained mounting psychological and even philosophical weight over its 10-season run. The September 3 series finale marks the end of an era in imagining new storytelling possibilities, not just for cartoons but for TV in general.

Adventure Time spans nearly 300 11-minute episodes involving hundreds of distinct characters — so it’s no easy feat to describe. But in brief, it takes place 1,000 years after a nuclear apocalypse known as the “Mushroom War” warps the Earth into a fantasy landscape; its main setting, the Land of Ooo, is populated by offbeat creatures and people made of candy, fire, or “lumpy space,” among other things.

A young boy named Finn (Jeremy Shada) is apparently the last human being on the planet, and he and his foster brother/best friend — a shape-shifting dog named Jake (John DiMaggio) — have taken it upon themselves to be as helpful around Ooo as possible. They lend their treasure-hunting, monster-fighting, errand-running prowess to their many friends and neighbors, and along the way, the complex backstory of Adventure Time’s characters and their world is unspooled.

That supremely odd summary belies the fact that Adventure Time has sneakily persisted as one of the most critically acclaimed shows of the 2010s. When considering the recent “Golden Age” of TV, few would rank it alongside the likes of Breaking Bad, Mad Men, or Game of Thrones. And yet it has received high praise from sources as wide-ranging as the A.V. Club, the New Yorker, NPR, and this very site.

In addition to being aimed at kids, Adventure Time lies at the intersection of multiple artistic categories that often struggle to attract serious critical consideration — namely, animation, fantasy, and short-form episodic TV (which for a long time was mainly the playground of experimental Adult Swim shows like Aqua Teen Hunger Force). Still, it has won over many critics. And though its erratic airing schedule has led to a decline in viewership and prestige in its later years, it has maintained a consistent standard of quality nonetheless.

With its series finale now on the horizon, let’s take a look back at the brilliance of Adventure Time, both as a singular achievement and as a show that has left a lasting impact on the TV landscape.

Adventure Time began as a short film made for Nicktoons. After the short leaked online and subsequently went viral, creator Pendleton Ward was able to successfully pitch it to Cartoon Network as a series. Produced in 2006, it exemplifies the “random” style of internet humor of that time, pioneered by the likes of Homestar Runner, eBaum’s World, and Newgrounds.

[embedded content]

In just under seven minutes, a boy and his dog fight an ice-powered, princess-abducting king, with a brief dream excursion to Mars for a pep talk from Abraham Lincoln, before ultimately running off to confront some ninjas who have stolen an old man’s diamonds (ninjas were to internet comedy in the mid-2000s what bacon would be to it in the early 2010s). Millions of people loved it when it hit (the then-young) YouTube, and the short was eventually nominated for an Annie Award.

Once Adventure Time the show made its Cartoon Network debut, it found instant success and regularly drew millions of viewers per episode for many years. Examining the phenomenon, critics have often cited the show’s broad appeal for both kids and adults as a big reason for its popularity.

Cartoons have long embraced an anything-goes sensibility, but Adventure Time took the approach to a new level. Every single episode would pack its brief running time with strange new characters, places, and ideas: A vampire who drinks the color red. A pack of sentient balloons eager to die. An imaginative robot that “switches places” with its reflection. And to fit within the 11-minute runtime of each episode, it all came at the audience at a breathless pace.

Animated shorts are as old as television itself, but Adventure Time spurred a revival of the format, especially on Cartoon Network. The show also led the way in turning “random” humor and world-building from a niche interest into what is now practically an industry standard, not just for animated series aimed at kids but for adult-oriented ones as well. Shows like BoJack Horseman and Rick and Morty demonstrate a common willingness to indulge the strange, an instinct that Adventure Time arguably introduced to the mainstream.

It didn’t stop there. Even as Adventure Time told bizarre tales of trickster gods from Mars and penguins that turned out to be world-threatening alien abominations, it worked hard to incorporate them into its complicated backstory and world, maintaining dense continuity through multiple long-running story arcs. In the grand tradition of prestige TV, it featured overarching plots about Finn’s search for his birth parents, or the recurring threat of the fearsome undead sorcerer the Lich. And yet it also made time for many standalone episodes, sometimes ultimately folding them into the larger picture, with major characters like Marceline the Vampire Queen being introduced in apparent one-off installments.

Adventure Time’s penchant for experimentation was both admirable and skillfully executed. The show didn’t hesitate to hand over multiple episodes to guest directors simply to riff on a different animation style. It occasionally adopted an idiosyncratic airing schedule, where several new episodes would drop over the course of a single week and then months would go by with nothing new. While the inconsistency sometimes hurt Adventure Time’s ratings, the show’s creative team used the “episode bomb” approach to produce several miniseries that featured some of its most ambitious ideas and set pieces.

Despite the show’s overall comedic tone, it handled its biggest ideas with gravitas and sincere emotion. And for all the manic energy it could indulge, Adventure Time never hesitated to slow down for a scene or two, or even a whole episode. American animation sometimes has trouble simply putting breathing space into shows and movies — superfluous gestures, brief pauses, and other moments that aren’t necessarily propelling the plot forward. Hayao Miyazaki once explained this to Roger Ebert as ma, the soundless beats between claps of the hand. Adventure Time had lots of ma.

Look at this scene from the “Stakes” miniseries, in the episode “Everything Stays.” In less than a minute, the episode creates an extraordinary evocation of intimacy between a parent and child. The animators inject dozens of little gestures to establish this feeling — note the brief shot in which young Marceline strokes her mother’s arm. And then the scene is over, and it’s on to the next beat.

[embedded content]

This kind of formal economy, doing a lot in precious little time, is rare in television. Today, many prestige shows are running longer with each installment yet still struggle to carve out time for characters to simply be. They could learn something from Adventure Time, a show that used its 11-minute episodes to explore myriad genre ideas and flights of fancy, and to demonstrate the endless potential of simply being artistically open and flexible.

Every single character on Adventure Time, from the regulars to the one-episode guests, had a distinct voice. And I don’t mean in terms of acting (though the show’s voice acting was excellent), but in how each person spoke. The writers gave everyone a unique slang, or attitude, or cadence to work with.

Finn and Jake had their own adolescence-inflected goofy rapport and strange swears (“Aw, dingle!” “Algebraic!”). Marceline was a laid-back slacker punk rocker. Princess Bubblegum was officious and scientifically minded. Finn and Jake’s parents, who only appeared in a few episodes, had ’30s-style trans-Atlantic accents (“Make like there’s egg in your shoe and beat it!”). One episode set in an alternate universe introduced an entirely different future lingo. No character was too minor to be considered as a distinct individual.

Adventure Time frequently devoted entire episodes to fleshing out secondary characters, sometimes shining a spotlight on someone who had only existed in the background for the entire show up to that point. It drew up complex inner lives for the likes of characters with names like “Root Beer Guy” — a sentient, walking mug of soda — and “Cinnamon Bun.”

And what it could do for its main characters was even more impressive. Some of them were hundreds of years old, with a few of them predating the Mushroom War, and as we got to know them better, we came to understand a long history of regrets, which stemmed first from the act of survival and then from trying to build a new society out of the ruins. Their arcs were contrasted with the subtle but definable trajectories of Finn and Jake, who slowly matured over the course of the show from goofballs to responsible figures.

Many episodes of Adventure Time took detours to toss out different philosophical challenges, aiming them at both the characters and the audience. In one, Finn got trapped in another world and lived an entire lifetime there before returning to his own as a child again. In another, Finn and Jake confronted a population of people willingly submitting to a Matrix-like virtual reality existence. In a sequence emblematic of the series’ simultaneous whimsical tone and intellectual seriousness, one character mused: “What’s real? Your eyes think the sky is blue, but that’s just sun rays farting apart in the barf of our atmosphere. The sky is black.”

Adventure Time dared to be anything and everything, often at the same time. It was a silly, plotless kids’ show. It was an epic fantasy adventure. It was a long-term coming-of-age story. It was an experimental exercise. It was a stoner’s dream. It was a relationship drama. It was a heartbreaker.

Episodic television offers a canvas unique among the arts: time. The best shows make use of this canvas to tell their stories as creatively and ambitiously as they can; Adventure Time used it to become one of the best television series of its day.

Adventure Time’s four-part finale, “Come Along With Me,” airs Monday, September 3, on Cartoon Network.

Original Source -> An ode to Adventure Time, one of TV’s most ambitious — and, yes, most adventurous — shows

via The Conservative Brief

[dpinoycosmonaut]

ATENEO BLUE EAGLES: NO SUCH THING AS AN OFFSEASON

By Reuel R. Hermoso / August 11, 2018

         After the season of their mother league has ended, most teams usually go on extended breaks and long vacations.  In the professional leagues such as the Philippine Basketball Association and the National Basketball Association in North America, one gets to see many of their players post on social media their latest trips to Europe or the Americas, China, and Japan, among many myriad destinations.  Community outreach programs and basketball clinics are also high on their agenda.           For the men’s basketball team of the Ateneo de Manila University, such travels, while also par for the course, are rarely done for leisure at all.  The Blue Eagles have gone to Europe, to the United States, to Japan, and, lately, to Taiwan – all to participate in pickup games, trainings, and, in the case of the trip to Taiwan, to even represent the Philippines in the 40th William Jones Cup last July.  They also joined local leagues and invitational tournaments over the course of the summer.  Some of the games they played have been exhilarating victories, others forgettable defeats.             But through it all, the team has remained focused on a single objective: to grab all possible chances to play together against any kind of opponent – some have been professional ballclubs or even national teams of their respective countries, like in the Jones Cup – under all conditions and climes, and despite the tremendous distances travelled.  And, to top it all, they have to stay focused as best they can on their studies – because they are student athletes.  All these, according to head coach Thomas Anthony “Tab” Baldwin, are geared toward getting – and keeping – his wards in tip-top shape for Ateneo’s parent league, the University Athletic Association of the Philippines, whose basketball season begins this coming September 8.           Not long after regaining the UAAP crown on December 3, 2017 after half a decade – their last UAAP title in 2012 was the last of a five-peat that began in 2008 – inside a jampacked Smart Araneta Coliseum in Cubao, Quezon City, the Blue Eagles spent the remainder of the semester catching up on rest – and, most importantly, schoolwork.  Finishing the school year 2017-2018 with respectable grades – slotman Isaac Go even got his name on the dean’s list – the newly-minted champions returned to their home base, the Moro Lorenzo Sports Center inside the Ateneo’s main campus at Loyola Heights, hit the gym and weights, and got their stride in the different offseason leagues, including the Smart City Hoops, facing and beating familiar foe Far Eastern University in the title match 70-58 in a grueling, highly physical battle.  The Blue Eagles also went up against last season’s UAAP Final Four contender Adamson University in the Breakdown Basketball Invitational Tournament held on the Eagles’ home grounds.           And to make more heads turn, especially among hoops pundits following the collegiate game, the Blue Eagles finished the elimination phase of the highly anticipated Fil-Oil/Flying V Pre-Season Premier Cup with a 9-0 card, which in itself was already a feat.  Considering the hectic schedule the Blue Eagles faced, which included the Smart City Hoops and Breakdown Basketball tournaments, and balancing that at the same time with school work – the ridiculous rescheduling of the school year made sure everyone would be sweating it out in school in the sweltering summer heat – the Fil-Oil/Flying V feat became even more awesome.  San Beda (now granted university status by the Department of Education), an old rival in the Philippine version of the National Collegiate Athletic Association, gave the Eagles a good fight in the elimination round, as did the other schools, like De La Salle from whom they had wrested the UAAP title.             The Green Archers made them bleed for every point in this first meeting of theirs since the UAAP finals.  That game was particularly trying as the Blue Eagles were coming into the contest from a showdown in the Breakdown tournament the day prior.  Though they got into the groove of their game toward the end of the opening quarter and were able to carry it into the second canto, the Ateneo boys could not put the Archers away so easily, with the latter playing with a lot of pride and a never-say-die attitude that their team has always been known for.  It was largely a nip-and-tuck affair from then on, far from the blowout that many had expected the Blue Eagles to unleash upon the Green Archers.  At the end of regulation, the game was tied at 71.  It was largely on the efforts of rookie big man Angelo Kouame that the Blue Eagles were able to seal the win in overtime, despite the desperate efforts to contain him in the post in extra time by La Salle’s rookie slotman from New Zealand, Taane Samuel, and local veterans in the post Santi Santillan and Justin Baltazar.  Final score: 81-75 in favor of Ateneo.           With the disposal of La Salle, and that 9-0 card tucked in their belts, the Blue Eagles set the stage for the title match against the reigning and defending Fil-Oil/Flying V champs, who they had also met and barely edged past in their first meeting in this tournament – the Red Lions.  In the tournament opener in April, Ateneo squeaked past San Beda 69-68, thwarting a lion-roaring comeback anchored on the red-hot shooting of San Beda gunner AC Soberano, who could have tilted the game in the Red Lions’ favor were it not for the lockdown defense on the sweet-shooting guard in the dying seconds of the game as he tried to knock down two attempts for the go-ahead basket.  Ateneo’s defensive specialist Gian Mamuyac made sure Soberano would not get a good look at the ring.           In the title match on June 30, the Blue Eagles were readier for the defending Fil-Oil/Flying V and NCAA champs.  Their coaching staff had figured out that the key to winning against this vaunted squad from Mendiola was to tame its backcourt generals, Soberano and JV Mocon, and to keep them from organizing their offense and from scoring themselves, as well as to keep the ball from getting into the post, where San Beda big man Donald Tankoua was raring to get his game going, along with new recruit Eugene Toba.  Against Tankoua, Kouame was more than a handful due largely to the latter’s size and length.  Skills and athleticism considered, Tankoua would have the edge in both, plus the veteran smarts to pull one over Kouame, but in the low blocks, size really matters.  Ateneo dependable Matt Nieto patrolled the perimeter, scoring timely baskets to take the wind out of San Beda’s sails.  In the end, a new tournament champion was holding up the championship trophy, with the Blue Eagles scoring a decisive 76-62 victory over the Red Lions.           What made the Fil-Oil/Flying V series jaw-dropping was the fact that just days earlier in Greece on June 21, the Eagles beat the Olympiakos Club’s Under-18 team 95-73, and went on to beat even the National Under-21 team 84-82 on a Thirdy Ravena buzzer beater, prompting the Greeks, who have produced such NBA notables as Kurt Rambis of the Los Angeles Lakers, Peja Stojakovic of the Sacramento Kings, and now Giannis Antetokounmpo of the Milwaukee Bucks, to lavish praise on the reigning champs and, in particular, their King Eagle Thirdy.  So with some fatigue – their young bodies may be better able to cope with it but it’s still there regardless – and jetlag coming all the way from Europe, the act of ending the Fil-Oil/Flying V tournament with a 12-0 card is an awesome feat in itself.           Of course, there was that one week spell when they went to Greece, but again, that was all business, or most of it was anyway.  Maybe a little sightseeing at the Acropolis in Athens, but that was about it.  In a few hours, they were back home to face San Beda.  With practically no sleep and jetlag all over them, everyone would’ve understood if the Blue Eagles decided to have an off day, hand the game – and the tournament back-to-back – to San Beda, and no one would really have minded.  It was a preseason stint, after all.  No big deal if you let it go.             Not with coach Tab though.  Kouame related that their venerable mentor, who was in the US for a short visit with family (chief assistant Sandy Arespacochaga coached the Eagles in the championship game against the Bedans), texted each one of them: “The mind will tell the body what to do.”  And those tough young minds did tell those tough, young, but very tired bodies that they could do this; they could win this title.  Against FEU in the semifinal round, the Blue Eagles’ shots rarely found the bottom of the net. But they decided they would frustrate the Tamaraws’ powerful offense with some critical stops.  The old basketball adage that “you can have an off day on offense, but defense never takes a break” is firmly ingrained in Ateneo basketball even as far back as the Joe Lipa years and was solidly entrenched by Norman Black during the team’s fabulous five-peat era that it can’t be cast aside just that easily.  It was this defensive mindset that carried them all the way to the top of the Fil-Oil/Flying V with nary a loss, winning a title in the tournament that Ateneo last held during the five-peat period in 2011.           What do all these hectic preseason activities mean for the Blue Eagles?  More than the experience of winning against the best of Philippine collegiate hoops, more than winning against the vastly talented Hellas, descendants of Achilles and Hercules, the boys from Loyola Heights sought to gain a treasure trove of insights and lessons in the way the game is really played on the international scene. Coach Baldwin, having taught a number of national teams, including those of Lebanon and New Zealand, wants to steer Ateneo basketball toward a more international, less America-centric type of game.           “We’re too obsessed with the American (style of) game,” the American mentor noted about Filipinos. The international style of basketball, which originated in Europe, relies heavily on team play, focuses less on star players, and emphasizes a lot of motion offense with or without the ball.  It also puts a heavy premium on team defense, stops, and gang rebounding on both ends of the floor.           It is in this direction that coach Baldwin wants to pilot the Blue Eagles as they begin their title defense next month when the UAAP basketball season begins with a couple of round-robin eliminations, a series of playoffs in the Final Four format, and a best-of-three title series to cap the season sometime in December.  For the Blue Eagles, no merrier Christmas can be had than hoisting up their second championship trophy in as many seasons.  Hopefully for them, the paradigm shift brought by coach Tab will see to that. (Photo Credit: Facebook/ateneobasketball) 

[misslunamiste]

Two Truths and a Lie

A story for Esen Zephyre, Round 03 of MYRIAD Island.

She awoke all at once, almost blinded by the pure white walls surrounding her.  Her first thought was to say something, try and figure out where she was, but a hand covered her mouth. 

“Please don’t argue with me, we don’t have much time.” The woman, who she barely recognized, told her, starting to remove the numerous IVs and heart monitors attached to her body. 

“How long was I here?” She asked, doing her best to sit up while still cuffed to the bed she lay on. 

“Too long for my liking. I’m sorry, I should have done something sooner.” The woman told her as the last monitor and cuffs were pulled off. “We have to go before-” 

“Before they realize I know what’s going on? Believe me, this isn’t my first time experiencing this.” She sighed, looking back at the machine she had been attached to while she stood up. “Whatever you people are doing…you shouldn’t do it.” 

“I know. I’m not here to make things worse. However, there’s something you should know…" 

“You’ve been in a very good mood lately.” Sek commented to Esen one morning. It was about a week after the aerosol incident, and Esen noticed Sek purposely pulling her aside more and more. 

“Is that a bad thing?” Esen asked, biting her lip. 

“Well, it’s uncharacteristically positive considering we’re trapped on an island with a facility that probably wants us dead.” Sek declared. 

“If they killed people, they would have left bodies.” Esen pointed out. 

“Not necessarily.” Sek responded.  “However, your good mood seems to be directly related to our resident illusionist.” 

Esen sighed. “So what if Damia and I have been getting closer? Going though traumatizing events can bring two people closer together.” 

“It would be fine if it wasn’t her.” Sek rubbed her forehead with her gloved hand. “Of all the people on this island, you decided to go and have a crush on her.” 

“Wait, what? I don’t…” Esen trailed off, frowning. “Okay, maybe a bit.  What’s the big deal?” 

“The big deal is that she’s severely injured and killed people before. She is dangerous Esen.” Sek explained as Elian came up to both of them. 

“We were all different during Project Infinity.  I have to believe that people can, and will change.” Esen bit her lip. “She wouldn’t hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

Elian looked at the two of them, a worried expression on his face. “I could always…you know…” 

“You’re not going to probe her memories, if that’s what you’re asking.” Esen frowned. “That’s not fair to Damia.” She stated, walking away. 

“Esen!” Sek yelled, but ultimately did not follow her. 

Esen didn’t know exactly where she was going, but she knew it had to be away from Sek and Elian.  It wasn’t fair how they insisted on treating Damia as a criminal because of her past, considering what everyone had gone through six years before.  She sat down behind the plane, easily hidden but still not too far from camp, to think. 

She ran her hands through her hair, sighing. Of course, /she/ would be the one to fall in..some sort of affection in a completely unacceptable situation. Esen knew she was attracted to danger, especially from Cass, but this stepped it up.  It didn’t help that her friends were insisting that this was a mistake. 

“Hey.”

Esen looked up to see Damia standing by the edge of the wing.  “Mind if I join?” She asked, and Esen nodded, moving over.

“You come back from scouting?” Esen asked softly. 

Damia nodded. “Not too much that’s new.  I mean, there’s the ominous building but we’re trying to avoid that.”

“That makes sense.  Any idea what they want from us?

“No idea, but….no matter what happens, I’ll stick by you.  We must be numbers one and two for a reason.” Damia assured Esen. 

Esen was just about to answer when commotion was heard on the other side of the plane.  She stood up, gesturing for Damia to follow to get a better look at the action.

At that moment, Esen didn’t know what to expect, whether it be full out war or people excited about food.  What she didn’t expect was to see Ryker supporting none other than Alyss Okand, who looked fairly exhausted. She was dressed in another one of her all-black outfits, and carrying some sort of bag.

“That was…a new experience. I don’t know if I’d do that again.” Alyss told Ryker, who winced slightly. “It was fast, though.” 

“Alyss!” Esen exclaimed, practically tackling Alyss with a hug after running to her. 

“Esen!” Alyss greeted back, the smile evident in her voice. “I’d normally say I was glad to see you, but….I wouldn’t want anyone in this mess.” 

“Well, I’m glad to see you.” Esen decided, pulling away and looking Alyss up and down. “You know, since you disappeared three months ago.” 

Alyss hesitated. “Three….months?” She asked, groaning. “That’s another problem to deal with.” 

“Just like the wound on your leg?” Esen asked, frowning. 

“Uh, yeah.” Alyss winced. “Bullet grazed me.  I guess I should clean it up?” 

Esen nodded, wondering how she ended up as the parent in this situation. “Yeah, please. You can’t die after I just found that you’re alive.” 

Alyss nodded. “Fine, I’ll clean it, but then I probably need a nap.  It’s been a long three days.”

A few hours later, Esen sat beside Alyss in their airplane camp, Alyss’s leg fully patched up.  The latter had gotten some sleep, but had insisted that an hour was enough.  Alyss had also shifted, hiding her short pink hair and trading it for long, blonde hair.

“This is what you looked like...before?” Esen had asked when she saw.

“Pretty much.” Alyss shrugged. “I didn’t have as many scars back then, but the hair’s the same.”

The two continued their discussion, eventually turning to the topic of how Alyss got to the island.

“So, you were in the MYRIAD building?” Esen asked, frowning. 

Alyss nodded. “Yeah, I was.  The scientest - Artemis - helped me out.” 

“Artemis was there? Verdani?” 

“Yeah, she was.  If it wasn’t for her, I’d still be there, and completely unaware.” Alyss frowned, looking down. 

“So, you were in some sort of coma, then?  That’s why you didn’t know what was going on or that you lost three months?” Esen pressed 

Alyss hesitated, obviously not wanting to continue. “Uh, yeah, let’s go with that.” 

“But you knew you were kidnapped.” Esen stated. 

“I thought I had been killed honestly.” Alyss sighed. “I was heading to visit you, and out of the blue I heard your voice, crying out for help.  I wasn’t going to let you be in danger.  But then…” She trailed off, looking towards the exit, where Damia stood. “You little bitch.” She snarled, her tone changing as she grabbed the nearest object to her, a broken seatbelt buckle, and threw it at Damia’s head. 

“Alyss?” Esen stopped the buckle from hitting Damia. “What are you doing?” 

“What am I doing?” Alyss asked, getting more angry with each word. “I’m paying back the bitch who kidnapped me, probably kidnapped you all too, and gave me this stupid tattoo!” She snapped, revealing a similar number tattoo on her wrist. 

The tattoo? 001. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Damia pleaded, as she backed away from Alyss. 

“I think you do, Miss Jacquin.” Alyss pressed forward, fueled mostly by anger. 

A crowd started to form, watching the two. “After all, your parents are the ones that got us into this mess with their cute little project.  MYRIAD is a project run by Jacquin Industries, and practically masterminded by their daughter, who tricked you all into thinking she was on the same boat.” 

“Damia…this isn’t true, is it?” Esen asked, feeling her heart break a little. 

“She can’t lie to all of us.” Sek yelled from the back of the crowd.  More shouts of similar caliber followed. 

“I was only doing my job.” Damia explained. “Not that any of you would understand.” 

Then, she was slammed against a tree.  It took Esen a moment to process that Ryker had run to her to pin her down before she escaped. 

“How dare you rip us from our lives, destroying them all again?” He snapped, but Damia only smirked. 

“I didn’t destroy them.” She stated, extending her arms slightly as her illusions filled the area and Esen’s vision went black.

“Esen, you listening to me?” 

Esen blinked several times, trying to place where she was.  A small room, with only a small hospital bed in the middle.  Someone to her right was talking to her.  She turned and was surprised at who she saw. 

Cass. 

“Yeah, sorry, I zoned out.” Esen smiled softly at Cass. 

“Anyways, I said that they’re going to try again with the serum.  They think it might work this time.”  Cass explained, and Esen frowned. 

“Are you sure it’s safe?” Esen asked, concerned. 

“You worry too much, I’ll be fine.” Cass assured Esen, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “After this, there will be nothing stopping us from giving them the slip and going on more adventures together.” 

“I’d like nothing more than that.” Esen grinned, giving Cass a hug. “Good luck, babe.” 

In a weird time skip, Esen found the hours waiting for Cass skip by in mere seconds.  She was sitting on the bed when the door opened and Cass walked back in. 

Only it wasn’t really Cass. 

“Cass!” Esen exclaimed, happy to see her. “How did it go?” 

Cass didn’t respond, only looked at Esen in confusion. 

“Cass?” Esen asked again, getting off the bed and walking towards her girlfriend. 

That’s when it all went wrong.  Cass lunged at Esen, trying to grab her throat.  Esen did her best with her now powers to prevent Cass from grabbing her, but that didn’t help the situation. 

“Cass, please!” Esen cried out. “Don’t hurt me!” She hadn’t been more scared in her life, more unfamiliar with what was happening.  People started to enter the room, but Esen was more focused on the Cass in front of her. 

Then a loud bang resounded.  A shot had been fired. 

Cass stopped moving and collapsed, a pool of blood appearing on the floor. 

Esen, now splattered with blood, screamed, and the illusion broke as her control on her powers slipped.   

In real life she screamed as wind pushed out from around her, pushing Damia away from her as well as the trees around her.  Esen collapsed, almost certain that a crater had been formed, centered on where she stood. 

Then, it hit her - she wasn’t at the camp.  Damia must have taken her to the forest.  Scanning the forest now, Esen didn’t see the other girl, hoping she left for her own good. 

There was nothing left for Esen to do but walk back to camp, where the other survivors looked a bit shaken up.  No words where exchanged with Alyss when she gave her another hug, except one quiet declaration. 

“We need to get off this island."

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

[Video Game Deep Cuts is a weekly newsletter from curator/video game industry veteran Simon Carless, rounding up the best longread & standout articles & videos about games, every weekend. This week's highlights include a mess of GDC talk goodness, plus Resident Evil 7/Biohazard's making-of, the role of mystery in games, & lots more.

So yep - Game Developers Conference is finally done & we're super happy with how it went. Thanks to any of you who made it out to San Francisco, or helped us with the event in ANY way! The good news for those who didn't is that GDC Vault recording was going on en masse, so we'll be rolling out LOTS of good content on our YouTube channel over the next few months. Now - time for a little rest?

Another reminder - if you dig Video Game Deep Cuts, please talk about it on social media and link to the sub page! That's how I get the bulk of my new subscribers, and it's much appreciated.

- Simon, curator.]

-------------------

GDC-Related 

Lessons learned by an 'art-house indie' who joined a F2P game studio (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Veteran game designer Margaret Robertson opened her talk at GDC today on what she’s learned in her journey from a self-described “art-house indie” to someone who works at a free-to-play game studio."

alt.ctrl | Hands-On | GDC 2017 (Jess Conditt / Engadget) "[SIMON'S NOTE: this is the best video overview I've seen of the alternative controller exhibit (masterminded by John Polson & aided by me) that we run at Game Developers Conference every year. So much creativity here.]"

How Prompto's AI-driven selfie system in Final Fantasy XV was built (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Prasert “Sun” Prasertvithyakarn served as lead designer on Final Fantasy XV’s buddy system and AI; at GDC this week he took the stage to talk a bit about how the AI-driven snapshot system was designed and built."

Developing Crashlands while facing a terminal cancer diagnosis (Simon Parkin / Gamasutra) "In 2013, the 23-year-old game artist and developer Samuel Coster hallucinated a dragon made of blood bursting from his chest. The hallucinations continued and soon increased in regularity. “I figured I was struck with a strange virus,” Coster recalled, in a session titled 'The Last Game I Make Before I Die' delivered at the Game Developers Conference this morning."

Writing Mafia 3: 'We had a lot of very uncomfortable conversations' (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Today at GDC, Hangar 13 narrative director William Harms took the stage to break down how the studio pulled it off. Most notably, in the face of some praise for how Mafia 3’s pulpy revenge story effectively treats with themes of racism and discrimination, Harms pushed back against the notion that tackling racism was a core goal of the game’s narrative design."

Train Jam perfectly captures the magic of both traveling and game dev (Katherine Cross / Gamasutra) "Thus it was that Adriel Wallick, doyenne and major domo of the jam for the last four years, settled on “Unexpected Anticipation” as the theme for all of this year’s games. She spoke above the cheers of a 300-strong crowd in the newly refurbished Burlington Room of Chicago’s Union Station, christened by the opening ceremonies for this unique event."

Warren Spector traces Deus Ex's development back to a game of D&D (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Shortly after the game shipped, game director Warren Spector wrote a broad postmortem of the project. Today at GDC, he revisited the subject after 17 years to offer some fresh insight into how the groundbreaking game came to be. 'People always ask me which of my games are my favorite; don’t ever ask a game designer that,' said Spector. 'The closest I ever get to answering is saying that the game I’m most proud of is Deus Ex.'"

For Tim Sweeney, advancing Epic means racing into AR and VR (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "What does it feel like to receive an award honoring a lifetime of achievement...before you're 50? "I feel like maybe I'm an old fogey and should be shopping for a cane!" Epic chief Tim Sweeney tells Gamasutra, with a laugh."

Lessons learned from over 15 years of of teaching a VR/AR design course (Chris Baker / Gamasutra) "Virtual reality and augmented reality may seem like new mediums, suddenly made viable by the emergence of the Rift and the Vive and Hololens. But Jesse Schell has watched hundreds of people build immersive VR and AR environments for the last several decades. And he has some general lessons to impart from his experience."

A dev's guide to ensuring studio conflict is healthy and productive (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "At GDC today, Finji CEO and cofounder Rebekah Saltsman shared some advice on cultivating the former and avoiding the latter, based on her own experience shipping multiple games at Finji alongside her husband (and Finji cofounder) Adam Saltsman."

[SIMON'S NOTE: There's all kinds of other good GDC 2017 coverage out there. But I mainly stuck to Gamasutra, since we spent a lot of time on detailed talk write-ups, which are all compiled here...]

Non GDC-Related

A Fresh Narrative in Gaming (Justin Porter / New York Times) "A mixed-race man comes home from the Vietnam War to more carnage: His adoptive father, the leader of the black mob, is betrayed and killed by the Italian mafia, the main criminal power in a fictional city based on New Orleans. So the veteran, Lincoln Clay, starts taking retribution, leaving hundreds dead in his wake. That’s the familiar revenge-as-motive storyline of the video game Mafia III, developed by Hangar 13 and published by 2K, but the twist is that Lincoln is also a victim."

Shigeru Miyamoto – 1989 Developer Interview (TV Game / Shmuplations) "This short but insightful interview with Shigeru Miyamoto first appeared in an early seminal book of video game history, “terebi game denshi yuugi taizen” from 1989. The interview captures Miyamoto in the early limelight: not yet the legend he is today, but more of a bright star among other contemporary developers."

How SteamWorld Heist brought skill into turn-based tactics (Alex Wiltshire / RockPaperShotgun) "SteamWorld Heist is a tactics game about boarding procedural spaceships with a squad of desperado robots and grabbing all the swag you can before they’re turned to scrap. It’s also a cross-genre oddity, a turn-based platformer, with presentation and polish that comes across a bit like a Nintendo fan fell in love with XCOM."

Rediscovering Mystery (feat. Jonathan Blow / Derek Yu / Jim Crawford) (Noclip / YouTube) "In this special feature about video game mysteries, we talk to Jonathan Blow (The Witness / Braid), Derek Yu (Spelunky) and Jim Crawford (Frog Fractions) about the games that inspired wonder in us as children."

What the game industry thinks of Nintendo’s Switch (Matt Leone / Polygon) "Yet more than most consoles, Switch remains a bit of a mystery at launch. Are motion controls going to be a big part of it? What type of player will Switch developers cater to? In an attempt to wrap our heads around it, we recently reached out to a group of developers and industry veterans to get a sense of where those in the game business see it going."

Eleven Essential Books that will help shape your Game City (Konstantinos Dimopoulos / Medium) "Designing an imaginary city is not an easy thing to do. Even less so when it’s a videogame city, the construction of which will also have to take a myriad of technical and cost constraints into consideration."

toco toco ep.47, Katsura Hashino, Game Creator (toco toco TV / YouTube) "In this episode, we follow Katsura Hashino, director of various RPG games including episodes of the world-renown Persona series, he will introduce us to philosophy and his work. Starting from Shibuya’s Center Gai, we will hop on the Den-en-Toshi line over to Sangenjaya, which was the inspiration to create the city of Yongenjaya, a key area in Hashino’s latest title: Persona 5."

Frog Fractions: inside the mind behind the world's strangest video game (Chris Priestman / The Guardian) "Jim Crawford is a self-confessed dilettante who moves from project to project in the blink of an eye. How did he create the most anarchic video game ever made?"

BIOHAZARD 7 INSIDE REPORT File 01: The Meaning of A Moment of Silence (Toru Shiwasu / Alex Aniel) "BIOHAZARD 7 resident evil INSIDE REPORT was included in the COMPLETE EDITION of the Japanese version of Resident Evil 7 Biohazard. It is only available officially in Japanese, and no official English translation has been announced. [SIMON'S NOTE: There's multiple parts to this translation on Alex's blog, and it's all excellent stuff.]"

A Torch in the Dark: Using Creative Direction to Light The Darkest Dungeon (Chris Bourassa / GDC / YouTube) "In this 2016 talk, Red Hook Studios' Chris Bourassa breaks down the creative philosophy of Darkest Dungeon - one that is characterized by a steadfast commitment to a clearly articulated, externalized creative core."

Populists Stage A Coup In Space (Alex Barron / Simon Parkin / New Yorker Radio Hour) "EVE Online is a massive multiplayer online videogame set in outer space, with tens of thousands of people playing at any given time. A few years ago, a faction of upstarts within the game’s community, who thumbed their nose at the rules, went to war against the alliance of skilled players they regarded as corrupt, elitist insiders. They won, in a shocking coup precipitated by espionage. Sound familiar?"

-------------------

[REMINDER: you can sign up to receive this newsletter every weekend at http://ift.tt/2dUXrva we crosspost to Gamasutra later on Sunday, but get it first via newsletter! Story tips and comments can be emailed to vgdeepcuts@simoncarless.com. MINI-DISCLOSURE: Simon is one of the organizers of GDC and Gamasutra, so you may sometimes see links from those entities in his picks. Or not!]

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

[Video Game Deep Cuts is a weekly newsletter from curator/video game industry veteran Simon Carless, rounding up the best longread & standout articles & videos about games, every weekend. This week's highlights include a mess of GDC talk goodness, plus Resident Evil 7/Biohazard's making-of, the role of mystery in games, & lots more.

So yep - Game Developers Conference is finally done & we're super happy with how it went. Thanks to any of you who made it out to San Francisco, or helped us with the event in ANY way! The good news for those who didn't is that GDC Vault recording was going on en masse, so we'll be rolling out LOTS of good content on our YouTube channel over the next few months. Now - time for a little rest?

Another reminder - if you dig Video Game Deep Cuts, please talk about it on social media and link to the sub page! That's how I get the bulk of my new subscribers, and it's much appreciated.

- Simon, curator.]

-------------------

GDC-Related 

Lessons learned by an 'art-house indie' who joined a F2P game studio (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Veteran game designer Margaret Robertson opened her talk at GDC today on what she’s learned in her journey from a self-described “art-house indie” to someone who works at a free-to-play game studio."

alt.ctrl | Hands-On | GDC 2017 (Jess Conditt / Engadget) "[SIMON'S NOTE: this is the best video overview I've seen of the alternative controller exhibit (masterminded by John Polson & aided by me) that we run at Game Developers Conference every year. So much creativity here.]"

How Prompto's AI-driven selfie system in Final Fantasy XV was built (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Prasert “Sun” Prasertvithyakarn served as lead designer on Final Fantasy XV’s buddy system and AI; at GDC this week he took the stage to talk a bit about how the AI-driven snapshot system was designed and built."

Developing Crashlands while facing a terminal cancer diagnosis (Simon Parkin / Gamasutra) "In 2013, the 23-year-old game artist and developer Samuel Coster hallucinated a dragon made of blood bursting from his chest. The hallucinations continued and soon increased in regularity. “I figured I was struck with a strange virus,” Coster recalled, in a session titled 'The Last Game I Make Before I Die' delivered at the Game Developers Conference this morning."

Writing Mafia 3: 'We had a lot of very uncomfortable conversations' (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Today at GDC, Hangar 13 narrative director William Harms took the stage to break down how the studio pulled it off. Most notably, in the face of some praise for how Mafia 3’s pulpy revenge story effectively treats with themes of racism and discrimination, Harms pushed back against the notion that tackling racism was a core goal of the game’s narrative design."

Train Jam perfectly captures the magic of both traveling and game dev (Katherine Cross / Gamasutra) "Thus it was that Adriel Wallick, doyenne and major domo of the jam for the last four years, settled on “Unexpected Anticipation” as the theme for all of this year’s games. She spoke above the cheers of a 300-strong crowd in the newly refurbished Burlington Room of Chicago’s Union Station, christened by the opening ceremonies for this unique event."

Warren Spector traces Deus Ex's development back to a game of D&D (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Shortly after the game shipped, game director Warren Spector wrote a broad postmortem of the project. Today at GDC, he revisited the subject after 17 years to offer some fresh insight into how the groundbreaking game came to be. 'People always ask me which of my games are my favorite; don’t ever ask a game designer that,' said Spector. 'The closest I ever get to answering is saying that the game I’m most proud of is Deus Ex.'"

For Tim Sweeney, advancing Epic means racing into AR and VR (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "What does it feel like to receive an award honoring a lifetime of achievement...before you're 50? "I feel like maybe I'm an old fogey and should be shopping for a cane!" Epic chief Tim Sweeney tells Gamasutra, with a laugh."

Lessons learned from over 15 years of of teaching a VR/AR design course (Chris Baker / Gamasutra) "Virtual reality and augmented reality may seem like new mediums, suddenly made viable by the emergence of the Rift and the Vive and Hololens. But Jesse Schell has watched hundreds of people build immersive VR and AR environments for the last several decades. And he has some general lessons to impart from his experience."

A dev's guide to ensuring studio conflict is healthy and productive (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "At GDC today, Finji CEO and cofounder Rebekah Saltsman shared some advice on cultivating the former and avoiding the latter, based on her own experience shipping multiple games at Finji alongside her husband (and Finji cofounder) Adam Saltsman."

[SIMON'S NOTE: There's all kinds of other good GDC 2017 coverage out there. But I mainly stuck to Gamasutra, since we spent a lot of time on detailed talk write-ups, which are all compiled here...]

Non GDC-Related

A Fresh Narrative in Gaming (Justin Porter / New York Times) "A mixed-race man comes home from the Vietnam War to more carnage: His adoptive father, the leader of the black mob, is betrayed and killed by the Italian mafia, the main criminal power in a fictional city based on New Orleans. So the veteran, Lincoln Clay, starts taking retribution, leaving hundreds dead in his wake. That’s the familiar revenge-as-motive storyline of the video game Mafia III, developed by Hangar 13 and published by 2K, but the twist is that Lincoln is also a victim."

Shigeru Miyamoto – 1989 Developer Interview (TV Game / Shmuplations) "This short but insightful interview with Shigeru Miyamoto first appeared in an early seminal book of video game history, “terebi game denshi yuugi taizen” from 1989. The interview captures Miyamoto in the early limelight: not yet the legend he is today, but more of a bright star among other contemporary developers."

How SteamWorld Heist brought skill into turn-based tactics (Alex Wiltshire / RockPaperShotgun) "SteamWorld Heist is a tactics game about boarding procedural spaceships with a squad of desperado robots and grabbing all the swag you can before they’re turned to scrap. It’s also a cross-genre oddity, a turn-based platformer, with presentation and polish that comes across a bit like a Nintendo fan fell in love with XCOM."

Rediscovering Mystery (feat. Jonathan Blow / Derek Yu / Jim Crawford) (Noclip / YouTube) "In this special feature about video game mysteries, we talk to Jonathan Blow (The Witness / Braid), Derek Yu (Spelunky) and Jim Crawford (Frog Fractions) about the games that inspired wonder in us as children."

What the game industry thinks of Nintendo’s Switch (Matt Leone / Polygon) "Yet more than most consoles, Switch remains a bit of a mystery at launch. Are motion controls going to be a big part of it? What type of player will Switch developers cater to? In an attempt to wrap our heads around it, we recently reached out to a group of developers and industry veterans to get a sense of where those in the game business see it going."

Eleven Essential Books that will help shape your Game City (Konstantinos Dimopoulos / Medium) "Designing an imaginary city is not an easy thing to do. Even less so when it’s a videogame city, the construction of which will also have to take a myriad of technical and cost constraints into consideration."

toco toco ep.47, Katsura Hashino, Game Creator (toco toco TV / YouTube) "In this episode, we follow Katsura Hashino, director of various RPG games including episodes of the world-renown Persona series, he will introduce us to philosophy and his work. Starting from Shibuya’s Center Gai, we will hop on the Den-en-Toshi line over to Sangenjaya, which was the inspiration to create the city of Yongenjaya, a key area in Hashino’s latest title: Persona 5."

Frog Fractions: inside the mind behind the world's strangest video game (Chris Priestman / The Guardian) "Jim Crawford is a self-confessed dilettante who moves from project to project in the blink of an eye. How did he create the most anarchic video game ever made?"

BIOHAZARD 7 INSIDE REPORT File 01: The Meaning of A Moment of Silence (Toru Shiwasu / Alex Aniel) "BIOHAZARD 7 resident evil INSIDE REPORT was included in the COMPLETE EDITION of the Japanese version of Resident Evil 7 Biohazard. It is only available officially in Japanese, and no official English translation has been announced. [SIMON'S NOTE: There's multiple parts to this translation on Alex's blog, and it's all excellent stuff.]"

A Torch in the Dark: Using Creative Direction to Light The Darkest Dungeon (Chris Bourassa / GDC / YouTube) "In this 2016 talk, Red Hook Studios' Chris Bourassa breaks down the creative philosophy of Darkest Dungeon - one that is characterized by a steadfast commitment to a clearly articulated, externalized creative core."

Populists Stage A Coup In Space (Alex Barron / Simon Parkin / New Yorker Radio Hour) "EVE Online is a massive multiplayer online videogame set in outer space, with tens of thousands of people playing at any given time. A few years ago, a faction of upstarts within the game’s community, who thumbed their nose at the rules, went to war against the alliance of skilled players they regarded as corrupt, elitist insiders. They won, in a shocking coup precipitated by espionage. Sound familiar?"

-------------------

[REMINDER: you can sign up to receive this newsletter every weekend at http://ift.tt/2dUXrva we crosspost to Gamasutra later on Sunday, but get it first via newsletter! Story tips and comments can be emailed to vgdeepcuts@simoncarless.com. MINI-DISCLOSURE: Simon is one of the organizers of GDC and Gamasutra, so you may sometimes see links from those entities in his picks. Or not!]

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

[Video Game Deep Cuts is a weekly newsletter from curator/video game industry veteran Simon Carless, rounding up the best longread & standout articles & videos about games, every weekend. This week's highlights include a mess of GDC talk goodness, plus Resident Evil 7/Biohazard's making-of, the role of mystery in games, & lots more.

So yep - Game Developers Conference is finally done & we're super happy with how it went. Thanks to any of you who made it out to San Francisco, or helped us with the event in ANY way! The good news for those who didn't is that GDC Vault recording was going on en masse, so we'll be rolling out LOTS of good content on our YouTube channel over the next few months. Now - time for a little rest?

Another reminder - if you dig Video Game Deep Cuts, please talk about it on social media and link to the sub page! That's how I get the bulk of my new subscribers, and it's much appreciated.

- Simon, curator.]

-------------------

GDC-Related 

Lessons learned by an 'art-house indie' who joined a F2P game studio (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Veteran game designer Margaret Robertson opened her talk at GDC today on what she’s learned in her journey from a self-described “art-house indie” to someone who works at a free-to-play game studio."

alt.ctrl | Hands-On | GDC 2017 (Jess Conditt / Engadget) "[SIMON'S NOTE: this is the best video overview I've seen of the alternative controller exhibit (masterminded by John Polson & aided by me) that we run at Game Developers Conference every year. So much creativity here.]"

How Prompto's AI-driven selfie system in Final Fantasy XV was built (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Prasert “Sun” Prasertvithyakarn served as lead designer on Final Fantasy XV’s buddy system and AI; at GDC this week he took the stage to talk a bit about how the AI-driven snapshot system was designed and built."

Developing Crashlands while facing a terminal cancer diagnosis (Simon Parkin / Gamasutra) "In 2013, the 23-year-old game artist and developer Samuel Coster hallucinated a dragon made of blood bursting from his chest. The hallucinations continued and soon increased in regularity. “I figured I was struck with a strange virus,” Coster recalled, in a session titled 'The Last Game I Make Before I Die' delivered at the Game Developers Conference this morning."

Writing Mafia 3: 'We had a lot of very uncomfortable conversations' (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Today at GDC, Hangar 13 narrative director William Harms took the stage to break down how the studio pulled it off. Most notably, in the face of some praise for how Mafia 3’s pulpy revenge story effectively treats with themes of racism and discrimination, Harms pushed back against the notion that tackling racism was a core goal of the game’s narrative design."

Train Jam perfectly captures the magic of both traveling and game dev (Katherine Cross / Gamasutra) "Thus it was that Adriel Wallick, doyenne and major domo of the jam for the last four years, settled on “Unexpected Anticipation” as the theme for all of this year’s games. She spoke above the cheers of a 300-strong crowd in the newly refurbished Burlington Room of Chicago’s Union Station, christened by the opening ceremonies for this unique event."

Warren Spector traces Deus Ex's development back to a game of D&D (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Shortly after the game shipped, game director Warren Spector wrote a broad postmortem of the project. Today at GDC, he revisited the subject after 17 years to offer some fresh insight into how the groundbreaking game came to be. 'People always ask me which of my games are my favorite; don’t ever ask a game designer that,' said Spector. 'The closest I ever get to answering is saying that the game I’m most proud of is Deus Ex.'"

For Tim Sweeney, advancing Epic means racing into AR and VR (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "What does it feel like to receive an award honoring a lifetime of achievement...before you're 50? "I feel like maybe I'm an old fogey and should be shopping for a cane!" Epic chief Tim Sweeney tells Gamasutra, with a laugh."

Lessons learned from over 15 years of of teaching a VR/AR design course (Chris Baker / Gamasutra) "Virtual reality and augmented reality may seem like new mediums, suddenly made viable by the emergence of the Rift and the Vive and Hololens. But Jesse Schell has watched hundreds of people build immersive VR and AR environments for the last several decades. And he has some general lessons to impart from his experience."

A dev's guide to ensuring studio conflict is healthy and productive (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "At GDC today, Finji CEO and cofounder Rebekah Saltsman shared some advice on cultivating the former and avoiding the latter, based on her own experience shipping multiple games at Finji alongside her husband (and Finji cofounder) Adam Saltsman."

[SIMON'S NOTE: There's all kinds of other good GDC 2017 coverage out there. But I mainly stuck to Gamasutra, since we spent a lot of time on detailed talk write-ups, which are all compiled here...]

Non GDC-Related

A Fresh Narrative in Gaming (Justin Porter / New York Times) "A mixed-race man comes home from the Vietnam War to more carnage: His adoptive father, the leader of the black mob, is betrayed and killed by the Italian mafia, the main criminal power in a fictional city based on New Orleans. So the veteran, Lincoln Clay, starts taking retribution, leaving hundreds dead in his wake. That’s the familiar revenge-as-motive storyline of the video game Mafia III, developed by Hangar 13 and published by 2K, but the twist is that Lincoln is also a victim."

Shigeru Miyamoto – 1989 Developer Interview (TV Game / Shmuplations) "This short but insightful interview with Shigeru Miyamoto first appeared in an early seminal book of video game history, “terebi game denshi yuugi taizen” from 1989. The interview captures Miyamoto in the early limelight: not yet the legend he is today, but more of a bright star among other contemporary developers."

How SteamWorld Heist brought skill into turn-based tactics (Alex Wiltshire / RockPaperShotgun) "SteamWorld Heist is a tactics game about boarding procedural spaceships with a squad of desperado robots and grabbing all the swag you can before they’re turned to scrap. It’s also a cross-genre oddity, a turn-based platformer, with presentation and polish that comes across a bit like a Nintendo fan fell in love with XCOM."

Rediscovering Mystery (feat. Jonathan Blow / Derek Yu / Jim Crawford) (Noclip / YouTube) "In this special feature about video game mysteries, we talk to Jonathan Blow (The Witness / Braid), Derek Yu (Spelunky) and Jim Crawford (Frog Fractions) about the games that inspired wonder in us as children."

What the game industry thinks of Nintendo’s Switch (Matt Leone / Polygon) "Yet more than most consoles, Switch remains a bit of a mystery at launch. Are motion controls going to be a big part of it? What type of player will Switch developers cater to? In an attempt to wrap our heads around it, we recently reached out to a group of developers and industry veterans to get a sense of where those in the game business see it going."

Eleven Essential Books that will help shape your Game City (Konstantinos Dimopoulos / Medium) "Designing an imaginary city is not an easy thing to do. Even less so when it’s a videogame city, the construction of which will also have to take a myriad of technical and cost constraints into consideration."

toco toco ep.47, Katsura Hashino, Game Creator (toco toco TV / YouTube) "In this episode, we follow Katsura Hashino, director of various RPG games including episodes of the world-renown Persona series, he will introduce us to philosophy and his work. Starting from Shibuya’s Center Gai, we will hop on the Den-en-Toshi line over to Sangenjaya, which was the inspiration to create the city of Yongenjaya, a key area in Hashino’s latest title: Persona 5."

Frog Fractions: inside the mind behind the world's strangest video game (Chris Priestman / The Guardian) "Jim Crawford is a self-confessed dilettante who moves from project to project in the blink of an eye. How did he create the most anarchic video game ever made?"

BIOHAZARD 7 INSIDE REPORT File 01: The Meaning of A Moment of Silence (Toru Shiwasu / Alex Aniel) "BIOHAZARD 7 resident evil INSIDE REPORT was included in the COMPLETE EDITION of the Japanese version of Resident Evil 7 Biohazard. It is only available officially in Japanese, and no official English translation has been announced. [SIMON'S NOTE: There's multiple parts to this translation on Alex's blog, and it's all excellent stuff.]"

A Torch in the Dark: Using Creative Direction to Light The Darkest Dungeon (Chris Bourassa / GDC / YouTube) "In this 2016 talk, Red Hook Studios' Chris Bourassa breaks down the creative philosophy of Darkest Dungeon - one that is characterized by a steadfast commitment to a clearly articulated, externalized creative core."

Populists Stage A Coup In Space (Alex Barron / Simon Parkin / New Yorker Radio Hour) "EVE Online is a massive multiplayer online videogame set in outer space, with tens of thousands of people playing at any given time. A few years ago, a faction of upstarts within the game’s community, who thumbed their nose at the rules, went to war against the alliance of skilled players they regarded as corrupt, elitist insiders. They won, in a shocking coup precipitated by espionage. Sound familiar?"

-------------------

[REMINDER: you can sign up to receive this newsletter every weekend at http://ift.tt/2dUXrva we crosspost to Gamasutra later on Sunday, but get it first via newsletter! Story tips and comments can be emailed to vgdeepcuts@simoncarless.com. MINI-DISCLOSURE: Simon is one of the organizers of GDC and Gamasutra, so you may sometimes see links from those entities in his picks. Or not!]

[symbianosgames]

The following blog post, unless otherwise noted, was written by a member of Gamasutra’s community. The thoughts and opinions expressed are those of the writer and not Gamasutra or its parent company.

[Video Game Deep Cuts is a weekly newsletter from curator/video game industry veteran Simon Carless, rounding up the best longread & standout articles & videos about games, every weekend. This week's highlights include a mess of GDC talk goodness, plus Resident Evil 7/Biohazard's making-of, the role of mystery in games, & lots more.

So yep - Game Developers Conference is finally done & we're super happy with how it went. Thanks to any of you who made it out to San Francisco, or helped us with the event in ANY way! The good news for those who didn't is that GDC Vault recording was going on en masse, so we'll be rolling out LOTS of good content on our YouTube channel over the next few months. Now - time for a little rest?

Another reminder - if you dig Video Game Deep Cuts, please talk about it on social media and link to the sub page! That's how I get the bulk of my new subscribers, and it's much appreciated.

- Simon, curator.]

-------------------

GDC-Related 

Lessons learned by an 'art-house indie' who joined a F2P game studio (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Veteran game designer Margaret Robertson opened her talk at GDC today on what she’s learned in her journey from a self-described “art-house indie” to someone who works at a free-to-play game studio."

alt.ctrl | Hands-On | GDC 2017 (Jess Conditt / Engadget) "[SIMON'S NOTE: this is the best video overview I've seen of the alternative controller exhibit (masterminded by John Polson & aided by me) that we run at Game Developers Conference every year. So much creativity here.]"

How Prompto's AI-driven selfie system in Final Fantasy XV was built (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Prasert “Sun” Prasertvithyakarn served as lead designer on Final Fantasy XV’s buddy system and AI; at GDC this week he took the stage to talk a bit about how the AI-driven snapshot system was designed and built."

Developing Crashlands while facing a terminal cancer diagnosis (Simon Parkin / Gamasutra) "In 2013, the 23-year-old game artist and developer Samuel Coster hallucinated a dragon made of blood bursting from his chest. The hallucinations continued and soon increased in regularity. “I figured I was struck with a strange virus,” Coster recalled, in a session titled 'The Last Game I Make Before I Die' delivered at the Game Developers Conference this morning."

Writing Mafia 3: 'We had a lot of very uncomfortable conversations' (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Today at GDC, Hangar 13 narrative director William Harms took the stage to break down how the studio pulled it off. Most notably, in the face of some praise for how Mafia 3’s pulpy revenge story effectively treats with themes of racism and discrimination, Harms pushed back against the notion that tackling racism was a core goal of the game’s narrative design."

Train Jam perfectly captures the magic of both traveling and game dev (Katherine Cross / Gamasutra) "Thus it was that Adriel Wallick, doyenne and major domo of the jam for the last four years, settled on “Unexpected Anticipation” as the theme for all of this year’s games. She spoke above the cheers of a 300-strong crowd in the newly refurbished Burlington Room of Chicago’s Union Station, christened by the opening ceremonies for this unique event."

Warren Spector traces Deus Ex's development back to a game of D&D (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "Shortly after the game shipped, game director Warren Spector wrote a broad postmortem of the project. Today at GDC, he revisited the subject after 17 years to offer some fresh insight into how the groundbreaking game came to be. 'People always ask me which of my games are my favorite; don’t ever ask a game designer that,' said Spector. 'The closest I ever get to answering is saying that the game I’m most proud of is Deus Ex.'"

For Tim Sweeney, advancing Epic means racing into AR and VR (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "What does it feel like to receive an award honoring a lifetime of achievement...before you're 50? "I feel like maybe I'm an old fogey and should be shopping for a cane!" Epic chief Tim Sweeney tells Gamasutra, with a laugh."

Lessons learned from over 15 years of of teaching a VR/AR design course (Chris Baker / Gamasutra) "Virtual reality and augmented reality may seem like new mediums, suddenly made viable by the emergence of the Rift and the Vive and Hololens. But Jesse Schell has watched hundreds of people build immersive VR and AR environments for the last several decades. And he has some general lessons to impart from his experience."

A dev's guide to ensuring studio conflict is healthy and productive (Alex Wawro / Gamasutra) "At GDC today, Finji CEO and cofounder Rebekah Saltsman shared some advice on cultivating the former and avoiding the latter, based on her own experience shipping multiple games at Finji alongside her husband (and Finji cofounder) Adam Saltsman."

[SIMON'S NOTE: There's all kinds of other good GDC 2017 coverage out there. But I mainly stuck to Gamasutra, since we spent a lot of time on detailed talk write-ups, which are all compiled here...]

Non GDC-Related

A Fresh Narrative in Gaming (Justin Porter / New York Times) "A mixed-race man comes home from the Vietnam War to more carnage: His adoptive father, the leader of the black mob, is betrayed and killed by the Italian mafia, the main criminal power in a fictional city based on New Orleans. So the veteran, Lincoln Clay, starts taking retribution, leaving hundreds dead in his wake. That’s the familiar revenge-as-motive storyline of the video game Mafia III, developed by Hangar 13 and published by 2K, but the twist is that Lincoln is also a victim."

Shigeru Miyamoto – 1989 Developer Interview (TV Game / Shmuplations) "This short but insightful interview with Shigeru Miyamoto first appeared in an early seminal book of video game history, “terebi game denshi yuugi taizen” from 1989. The interview captures Miyamoto in the early limelight: not yet the legend he is today, but more of a bright star among other contemporary developers."

How SteamWorld Heist brought skill into turn-based tactics (Alex Wiltshire / RockPaperShotgun) "SteamWorld Heist is a tactics game about boarding procedural spaceships with a squad of desperado robots and grabbing all the swag you can before they’re turned to scrap. It’s also a cross-genre oddity, a turn-based platformer, with presentation and polish that comes across a bit like a Nintendo fan fell in love with XCOM."

Rediscovering Mystery (feat. Jonathan Blow / Derek Yu / Jim Crawford) (Noclip / YouTube) "In this special feature about video game mysteries, we talk to Jonathan Blow (The Witness / Braid), Derek Yu (Spelunky) and Jim Crawford (Frog Fractions) about the games that inspired wonder in us as children."

What the game industry thinks of Nintendo’s Switch (Matt Leone / Polygon) "Yet more than most consoles, Switch remains a bit of a mystery at launch. Are motion controls going to be a big part of it? What type of player will Switch developers cater to? In an attempt to wrap our heads around it, we recently reached out to a group of developers and industry veterans to get a sense of where those in the game business see it going."

Eleven Essential Books that will help shape your Game City (Konstantinos Dimopoulos / Medium) "Designing an imaginary city is not an easy thing to do. Even less so when it’s a videogame city, the construction of which will also have to take a myriad of technical and cost constraints into consideration."

toco toco ep.47, Katsura Hashino, Game Creator (toco toco TV / YouTube) "In this episode, we follow Katsura Hashino, director of various RPG games including episodes of the world-renown Persona series, he will introduce us to philosophy and his work. Starting from Shibuya’s Center Gai, we will hop on the Den-en-Toshi line over to Sangenjaya, which was the inspiration to create the city of Yongenjaya, a key area in Hashino’s latest title: Persona 5."

Frog Fractions: inside the mind behind the world's strangest video game (Chris Priestman / The Guardian) "Jim Crawford is a self-confessed dilettante who moves from project to project in the blink of an eye. How did he create the most anarchic video game ever made?"

BIOHAZARD 7 INSIDE REPORT File 01: The Meaning of A Moment of Silence (Toru Shiwasu / Alex Aniel) "BIOHAZARD 7 resident evil INSIDE REPORT was included in the COMPLETE EDITION of the Japanese version of Resident Evil 7 Biohazard. It is only available officially in Japanese, and no official English translation has been announced. [SIMON'S NOTE: There's multiple parts to this translation on Alex's blog, and it's all excellent stuff.]"

A Torch in the Dark: Using Creative Direction to Light The Darkest Dungeon (Chris Bourassa / GDC / YouTube) "In this 2016 talk, Red Hook Studios' Chris Bourassa breaks down the creative philosophy of Darkest Dungeon - one that is characterized by a steadfast commitment to a clearly articulated, externalized creative core."

Populists Stage A Coup In Space (Alex Barron / Simon Parkin / New Yorker Radio Hour) "EVE Online is a massive multiplayer online videogame set in outer space, with tens of thousands of people playing at any given time. A few years ago, a faction of upstarts within the game’s community, who thumbed their nose at the rules, went to war against the alliance of skilled players they regarded as corrupt, elitist insiders. They won, in a shocking coup precipitated by espionage. Sound familiar?"

-------------------

[REMINDER: you can sign up to receive this newsletter every weekend at http://ift.tt/2dUXrva we crosspost to Gamasutra later on Sunday, but get it first via newsletter! Story tips and comments can be emailed to vgdeepcuts@simoncarless.com. MINI-DISCLOSURE: Simon is one of the organizers of GDC and Gamasutra, so you may sometimes see links from those entities in his picks. Or not!]