#about my headcanons and class justifications

[iceskatingmobsters]

so. ffxiv classes for Outer Wilds characters? I am interested

you ever accidentally leave something in your drafts for like a week? anyways, it appears you have activated my trap card--

this is a VERY incomplete list because I'm in between classes for a lot of them. everyone gets a dps and support class so party composition can be shuffled around (because thinking abt party dynamics is half the fun). this is gonna be disjointed as hell bear with me and under a read more because it got LOOOONG. spoilers below ye have been warned

Feldspar: your honor this is a dragoon and I refuse to take any other answer. as for a support class, they're definitely a tank and I can preeeeetty much see them going any tank that isn't paladin but I lean dark knight personally -- the invuln in particular sells it for me, more than warrior's even, because you refuse to die and THEN heal yourself back to full. very self sufficient but still needs help from the party. still can very much see them as a warrior (who needs a healer when you have bloodwhetting) or gunbreaker (superbolide is an objectively funny ability and my brain can't let go of the image of feldspar panic-bolide-ing)

Slate: the easy answer is machinist and gunbreaker and I'm going with that. with all the stupid stuff that machinist gets in its later levels ESPECIALLY like you get a flamethrower and multiple attack automatons it's practically tailor-made for slate "my autopilot throws you into the sun but it's functioning so I'm using it" outerwilds. gunbreaker I'm less sure about for lore reasons but I do know that should Slate go gunbreaker they superbolide maliciously (gossan refuses to heal if slate is tanking). can also see them going black mage or warrior as well

Gossan: I had a hard time pinning them down to be honest!! I've mostly settled on sage/ninja. NIN is flashy but not as much as dragoon is, plus it's more precise than DRG's "jump in the middle of the pack with a trail of fire and pray." also, trick attack/mug I rest my case. could also see them swinging monk because iirc monk has more overall party buffs (possibly red mage but my brain insists they're melee). as for sage this was more of a process of elimination -- I wanted them to be a barrier healer but I didn't think scholar fit them. sage's multitasking "do damage to heal" also Fits in my head for whatever reason

Hornfels: astrologian/red mage. they keep the observatory of COURSE they're an astro! the entire job quest is about awakening your abilities through observation of the stars! I also like the idea of them being a pure healer vs gossan's barrier healing but this is just to service the "slate healchecks the party with superbolide" joke. red mage because it's got so much party utility and Hornfels Is A Mage (black mage Hornfels would be very funny though considering black mage/thaumaturgy lore I'm not sure they'd go that route. summoner maybe, but again, considering lore eehhhhh unsure if Hornfels would like to square up with bahamut any time soon. most hinged member of owv)

Esker: my s.o who loves esker dearly is 100% convinced Esker is a blue mage which is very good considering it's a limited class but in the context of "everyone is actually in eorzea" I myself think they'd go for summoner and a tank (I'm leaning warrior). despite the summoner class quests once you actually do square up with various monsters and primals it gets pretty relaxed from there, and that fits prettty well -- esker did a lot of scary work getting the moon base up and running, and now they're kinda vibing, even if it does mean that the others esp. the newer owv members forget the work they put in (hey remember when summoner had a five-minute/sixty skill opener???). tank, specifically warrior because... ok forgive me but you know the end of bloodborne when gehrman gets up from the chair? That's Esker

Gabbro: they're a bard. quintessential full stop bard. like bard barely has a real rotation you just hit your procs as they light up and the later class quests are "one of your two job tutors and the one that is ACTUALLY A BARD fucks off to do smth stupid and unrelated and comes back with something useful and poignant, somehow" hi hello COME ON. I'm putting their support class as tank but I feel like they pretty much go bard exclusively. if they do tank I initially thought paladin but maybe they get DRK rights after being stuck in a time loop idk. that's probably enough angst to awaken an Esteem if gabbro decides to unpack that (they won't)

Riebeck: scholar scholar scholar it's perfect considering how archaeology-focused the SCH quest line is. Riebeck also deserves a cute lil fairy friend please give this fish eos they deserve a break!! as for THEIR dps class they have to be ranged, no way in hell Riebeck is getting within five ft of Thing That Wants To Kill Us. they're probably either bard or red mage (RDM being the relative Sanest magic dps option though good luck convincing them to Actually Do their melee combo). they'd be a shoe in for MNK since its questline is also about restoring a lost offensive art but, again, not brave enough for that ;; (though that would be a beautiful lil self conatined character arc, going from bard to red mage to monk as they get more confident and braver)

Chert: 100% astro they wear a scarf embroidered with the stars. this also furthers my "hornfels as chert's mentor" agenda (that I really wish I saw more of YES I have wips about it). also it's got lovely angst potential considering astrologians are supposed to divine the future from the stars : ^) I'm pretty sold on chert going monk for its themes of discipline, and because despite its scrappy beginnings, it's also a pretty precise class. could also see them as samurai considering how seriously that class takes itself (at least in its first four or five questlines, I've only got it to 59 yet oops). chert absolutely gets Melee Rights tho

Hatchling: omniclass they get to do whatever they want LOL no, actually, in all seriousness I have them as a PLD -> DRK and reaper. the reaper choice is based on the newest dungeon where you get some lore about a former I think garlean settlement that gave rise to reapers for defence purposes (they were farmers that basically made deals with demons to protect their home from demons iirc) and the nomai could absolutely fuckin stand in for that, so it makes a sort of poetic sense that the hatchling would pick that up after them. PLD to DRK for the same reasons as Gabbro but the hatchling sure does unpack all that

As for the other villagers, I only have four that I have solid ideas for right now. Gneiss is a bard/white mage, Hal is a scholar (there is a part of me that wants to make them a black mage as well since black mage invents new spells all the goddamn time and definitely not because I'm a blm/sch,) Rutile is a paladin, and Porphy is a white mage/dancer (did you know that NIN is really high on the dance partner priority list?? :3c) it'd make more sense for the villagers to be disciples of the land/hand exclusively -- gneiss as a carpenter, porphy as a botanist, spinel as a fisher (lol), hal as probably an alchemist -- but this is already a crack crossover and I'm making the rules so everyone gets a disciple of war/magic even if they wouldn't need one

for party compositions and dynamics I will be brief bc this is so long already but light party one would be feldspar and gossan as DPS, hornfels as healer, and slate as tank OR feldspar as tank, slate and hornfels as DPS, and gossan as healer. light party 2 used to be Esker as tank, gabbro and chert as DPS, and riebeck as healer/esker and riebeck as DPS, gabbro as tank, and chert as healer (though the second config happens rarely). full party would be prooobably esker and slate on tank, riebeck and hornfels healing, and the rest on DPS. once the hatchling is trained they take esker's place -- esker is enjoying their quasi-retirement from adventuring for the most part but misses it sometimes and will step in to fill as necessary.

...oh god I have so many dark knights what happened--

[unfortunate17]

i agree with you about being frustrated with how often this fandom has top/bottom discussions but its a pretty common talking point in most fandoms so YR isn’t special for that

No I totally agree with you that it’s a common topic of discussion in a lot of fandoms, but there’s a particular way we have it in this fandom that really grinds my gears.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if you hc Wilmon to be vers or if you think Wille tops or Simon tops or whatever - it’s the justification and reasoning that I’m seeing behind these headcanons that I find deeply irritating and, frankly, insulting and kind of homophobic.

This is going to get long so forgive me.

1. I’ve seen so many posts talk about how the show is “brave” and “subversive” by having Wille go down on Simon or potentially bottom, but like - what the hell are we even talking about? In what world is it subversive to show a queer character having queer sex?? What are we subverting?? This show has never shown us anything with its intimate scenes other than two guys that are deeply in love and really horny for eachother and I hate that we keep bringing this shit up!!!

2. I’ve also seen people say that it was very important for us to see Wille moving to go down on Simon in the tape in S1 because it’s “more damning evidence that he’s queer” and otherwise Wille could’ve just said he was horny and desperate but he was actually imagining he was with a girl in his denial statement. But be so fucking forreal, in what world is that a thing he could argue in an official statement to the press? He’d be the laughing stock of the world.

Wilhelm isn’t more or less gay because he went down on Simon vs the other way around. He’d still be having queer sex because he’s having sex with another guy. Arguing that the framing here is for anything other than a plot device so Wille’s face wouldn’t be visible to set up the denial is actually kind of ridiculous.

As someone very smart on here said, “I’m sorry that you apparently have a tier list of sex acts ranging from “kinda straight” to “Gaylord” 😭😭 get well soon, couldn’t be me.”

Imagine for one second Simon was the one giving Wille head? Would you have criticized the show for that?? And WHY?!

3. Next: saying that Wilmon’s relationship is “equal” because you think they’re vers is…a take and a half lmao. What the fuck does being vers have to do with a relationship being equal?? Why are we assigning arbitrary hierarchies to sexual preferences??? Why are we implying that topping and bottoming are somehow not equal and you have to carefully balance both, when, ideally, it’s just whatever the fuck everyone is into???

Wille isn’t selfish for topping. Simon isn’t sacrificing anything by bottoming. They’re fucking because they’re in love and they want to 😭

TLDR: Wille doesn’t suck Simon’s dick for class liberation. Simon riding Wille isn’t a commentary on how he’s “girl-coded.” It’s just sex, leave them alone to have a good time and stop assigning agendas to queer sex.

[penncilkid]

Alright, so I was over here thinking about various things, which led me down the path of thinking about Damien. As I sat with my thoughts, I was struck by a question: Why is Damien so often headcanoned as a person of color?

And as a person of color, I want to take a closer look at this and talk about it.

Preface: For those who may not be aware, I personally headcanon Damien as Black and Filipino. The entire DAMN crew is Black in one way or another because I wanted them to be. (I am also Black, for reference)

When I think about the reasons why I headcanon Damien as a person of color, it's largely in part because I relate to him and project my lived experiences onto him as a character. Lots of the stereotypes put onto fire elementals have been directed towards me, or I have witnessed directed towards other people of color. So if you were to look at the way he is treated on the basis of being a fire elemental and say "this is why I have this headcanon"? Sure, I can buy into it.

But then what about the vampires?

Vampires are treated poorly in canon as well. If I remember correctly, it's mentioned by Vincent in regards to him attending classes at DAMN. Separate from that, though, they are treated poorly on the basis of being "feeders". (D(a)emons could be thrown into this as well. But I have complex thoughts on some of the popular headcanons, so that's a conversation for another day). It is something that permeates their everyday lived experiences, even if not constantly acknowledged. Yet majority of the fandom regards them as white. It is rare that I see any of the vampires, speaker or otherwise, depicted as anything other pale and/or white. So to me, there isn't a universal correlation of "Canonical discrimination towards a character is regarded as POC coding".

Another argument I could see people having: "I think he's a person of color based on how his mom was treated." Let's unpack this as a concept.

In itself, I love this line of thinking. It's taking various factors into play when coming up with a headcanon, which is always fun to me. But when you examine canon, his mom is discriminated against on the basis of being humanborn. In canon, Lasko is also humanborn. It's a core part of him as a character (so much so that it's also present in the Imperium). Yet, again, he's largely regarded as white. I can count on my hand the amount of non-white Lasko designs I have encountered. And almost all of the people with those designs are POC themselves. If you take this into consideration, being humanborn is not synonymous with being POC coded (at least throughout the fandom). So there isn't any concrete justification of his mom being explicitly regarded as POC. And as such, it no longer influences what Damien could be racially speaking. So again, I ask: Why is he so often headcanoned as a person of color?

Because here's my thing about Damien. There's just as much basis for him to be white, and I would directly cite the way he talks about DAMN as a whole. He has audios with FL in Season 1 as an example, but I think extensively about his more recent audio with Gavin ("Supporting An Incubus"). Throughout that audio, I had one persisting thought. I could lead with "His heart's in the right place" and such. But that doesn't change the fact that yeah, he 100% sounds like a white savior. You could go as far to save he always sounds like one when he talks about DAMN. The only time I've thought otherwise is when I'm actively imagining him as POC, which doesn't change what is presented in canon.

But all of this is so largely ignored by the fandom in favor of other headcanons— A lot them being that he's Black. And when I see how that is paired with widely popular white Lasko headcanons, it rubs me the wrong way. Especially given that canonically, he was scared of Damien at one point (a fact affirmed in several audios). Before anyone tries to say "But it was because—", that doesn't negate or erase context and subtext.

As I said when I made my post in regards to Huxley and Darlin often being headcanoned as specifically Black, I cannot dictate anyone's thoughts/headcanons. That's not the purpose of sharing these thoughts. What I am trying to do is have a conversation about something that I think is worth discussing and examining further. There is no harm in thinking critically about media you enjoy, and that's what I'm striving to do.

Just consider what I'm saying. Please.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

okay, fuck it. let's talk about remorse. more specifically, the lack of it

there was a post going around a while ago that claimed that izaya couldn't possibly have aspd, because he feels remorse, and its simply so subtle that it's hard to pick up on, and he simply hides it to maintain his image. given that this post is a jab at me and my work, i feel no guilt nor will feel remorse over jabbing right back.

(especially since, if you pay attention to the wording of the post and OP themselves, it's clear that they had a... certain other neurodiverse headcanon for izaya, and was for some reason mad at me for having a different one)

(but i digress)

let's talk remorse.

first of all, the "lack of remorse" criterion isn't, as some might be tempted to think, the most important "hallmark" symptom of aspd. let's break down how disorders are diagnosed!

in the DSM, disorder symptoms are classed into criteria. these criteria are sometimes grouped together. here's the criteria list for ASPD in the dsm-5-tr, the most current version;

under group A, we have the standard "this is what the disorder is like, and these are the symptoms of it. you need X amount to have this disorder." the criteria listed in groups B, C, and D are on their own because they are required for diagnosis. if the lack of remorse criterion was truly SO important that it was the hallmark of the disorder, the one symptom that sets it apart from all cluster B disorders, then it would be in its own group like those 3 criterion! but it's not, because while it's the symptom most people associate with aspd, it's not the hallmark of the disorder, nor is it explicitly required for diagnosis.

in fact, the main Thing about aspd is, uh, right there actually- a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others. in layman's terms, aspd is categorized by a consistent behavior pattern of treating other peoples' boundaries, wants, needs, and human rights, as trivial. this overall behavior pattern is then identified by specific actions or feelings the patient has- hence the criteria.

i could end this post here, honestly- who cares if izaya does or doesn't feel remorse? it's not needed for diagnosis, and it's izaya's whole thing to violate the rights of others- he consistently treats people as his playthings, wether or not they want him to (usually not!) he disregards others' feelings (the suicidal girls come to mind wrt this) and is incredibly reckless with both his life and the lives of others. it's kind of a done deal!

but i won't because i have more to say!

so. izaya. remorse. he feels it, but keeps it hidden. he represses it. and honestly, he always has some justification or another for whatevet it is he's doing. his targets had it coming because they're monsters. or stupid and cowardly. or had it coming. or it doesn't matter because he's a god amongst men. BUT- he does feel remorse! ASPD cured!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys i hate to tell you this, but i've felt remorse before. sparingly, but i have. i am a Person With ASPD from Real Life, i've been diagnosed professionally and even had multiple second opinions check and re-check, to the point that it became a running gag. i, without a shadow of a doubt, have antisocial personality disorder. And I Have Felt Remorse.

(my verdict is it sucks and is terrible and i have no idea how you people do it. yall need like, medals or something)

because, as you might have noticed... a lack of feeling remorse isn't actually the only thing listed. now, a lot of websites don't actually list the second half of the criterion, they just say "lack of remorse" with no elaboration. it's hard to find a website with the proper informatiom on it, especially if you haven't read the dsm to see the full criteria list, so you don't know what you're looking for. truly, i don't blame laypeople for not knowing this- it's not easy to find short of going to the source itself

but if you're writing long posts filled with "facts" about a disorder that you do not have, you better make damn sure your facts are right lest you spread misinformation.

(hell, i HAVE the damn thing and i make sure i'm as accurate as possible, because i acknowledge that Having The Disorder isn't a ticket to immidiate expertise. but imo it's especially egrigious when you don't have it)

but, the criterion itself is defined as "being indifferent to or rationalizing" harmful actions. Or Rationalizing. you can feel remorse as much as you want, but if you stomp it down with justifications about how you were right, it still counts!

and finally, the name of the game with diagnosis of any disorder is consistency. if someone can make their abuser cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's not aspd. that's just a special case. if someone can make anybody cry because of them and feel no remorse, that's aspd.

similarly, if someone can make most people cry because of them and feel no remorse, with one- or maybe two- exceptions, that's... still aspd. because the behavior expressed most consistently is a lack of remorse. one or two exceptions to the rule don't suddenly make you not have aspd, especially if you have multiple other symptoms. (in fact, in some aspd circles people do talk about having "exceptions," kind of like the aspd version of a pwBPD's favorite person. pwaspd feeling remorse or otherwise not meeting criteria in incredibly specific circumstances is in fact a documented phenominon. once again, this happened to me and i've been diagnosed multiple times over. were all those doctors wrong, or does aspd just not work like you thought it did?)

izaya consistently represses most of his more vunerable feelings. that's another one of his main things. if remorse is included in this, which it would be given the pattern, then izaya most consistently does not feel (or otherwise accept) remorse. a few slips of the mask here and there, where he can't stomp it down or ignore it, don't change that the most consistent behavior from him is a lack of remorse. in fact, him feeling remorse here and there makes the portrayal of aspd more realistic, imo-

people with aspd are still people at the end of the day, and aspd is just another mental illness. people are varied, mental illnesses present differently in everyone, and people have good days and bad days where symptoms are more or less pronounced. any symptom isn't going to be set in stone in severity or even presence in someone's life- severity of disorder changes with age, someone's circumstances, or even day-to-day, especially with cluster B disorders, where the people who have it are defined as being "dramatic, emotional, or erratic" (pg 735)

things change. people change. mental illness isn't as simple as people think, and aspd isn't as different from other illnesses as you'd think. people with it- including izaya- will have their good days and their bad days and their rare moments where something breaks through the clouds and for one moment, you feel normal, however distressing the feeling may be

that's not proof that the illness was never there. that's just life with it!

[astroavez]

i like to tell myself that the twins’ dad dabbles in the dark arts and is very well an ex death eater that weasled out of an azkaban sentence by claiming that he was bewitched by the imperius curse.

ANYWAYS i like thinking about the possibility of him attempting to resurrect the dark lord, and forcing fischer down that same path due to him being deemed the older, stronger, BETTER twin.

these are my own personal frey family headcanons of course but i think it’d give fischer a justification for his god complex, and an explanation as to why he excels in dada as opposed to literally any other class.

i like giving my fav characters deep-rooted emotional trauma and burdens so that he’s not just some one dimensional video game bully. NOOO i want him to PUSH PEOPLE AWAY! I WANT HIM TO SELF DESTRUCT AND RUIN RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE THAT CARE ABOUT HIM!!

hpma devs i’m available

[imagineitdearies]

I am curious, was there any point in Perfect Slaughter where the story or characters developed in ways you hadn't planned?

Your writing is amazing, I love them so much your honor ❤️

Hey anon!! Thanks for this lovely ask, sorry for the wait 🩵 (holiday season, amirite?)

For most of my life I've been a 'pantser/discovery writer,' even if I've found a good balance now with both discovering and planning my stories--and one major way I still keep my options open for myself is the characterizations. So there were plenty of times all of the characters in Perfect Slaughter surprised me! But here are a few highlights:

Chatterteeth

Plot-wise, I included Chatterteeth in my outline as a heralder of the 'Command Undead' class feature Tyrus would level up and gain just before the climax; beyond that I didn't really know how much importance I wanted to give her. It wasn't until writing Part III that I thought more deeply about her motivations beyond simply wanting to end the Szarr legacy as well. A lot of it I didn't have the justification to dive into during the story itself (if you haven't read my little one-shot in her POV, I did get a chance then!), but it changed a lot.

For one--that she protests a lot more about Tyrus's controlling treatment of her. While this doesn't change the plot points, I think it did change the narrative and how readers experience Part III with Tyrus's corruption. A bit less cheering him on, and a few more reminders thanks to our skelly grandma that Tyrus is Not Being A Good Person.

Also, my plans had just been for Chatterteeth to be merely surprised at Tyrus's growing power during their trap-setting, then let him know about 'Command Undead' being a potential option. With how I began to write her, however, I realized it was a power she didn't know if she trusted him to disclose about even once she realized he might be capable. Which meant it gets revealed later than I planned, but in a way that hopefully emphasizes the gravity of Tyrus's choice at the end to only use it to give Astarion freedom, not take control of the final outcome. Adding how worried she is that he will choose control and power over love, hopefully raises the stake for the reader too. (Oh, and all this made her death quite a bit sadder 🥲)

Cazador

I unfortunately know Cazador's type all too well, and knowing what his thoughts and plans were behind the scenes was really important to make the set-up of this story work (i.e., use love against people until whoops, turns out it isn't a weakness like you thought). That being said, he gave me a big surprise in Part III when he bargains with Tyrus to keep Astarion around. I think it was right after the rune carving and sexual assault scene in ch32, that it suddenly came to me that he might want Astarion for his own selfish sake. And though it is a divergence from canon-Cazador's sentiments at the end of bg3, I justified that Astarion is on better terms (sadly) with him to protect Tyrus. (Plus, maybe Cazador would have been able to use Dufay in canon since he's also gotten his hands dirty/bound himself to the sacrificial spawn 'by blood' in some sense, if not for Doofie killing himself of course.)

Astarion

Astarion is such a well-fleshed out character thanks to bg3, the amount of voice lines I've listened to (many of them over and over), my god!! While I tried to stay as close and true to his canon counterpart as possible, PS!Astarion grew to have a lot of quirks I can only count as headcanons: his relationship with simple pain being worse than other abuses, his knowledge of the true vampire traits from Cazador and resultant avoidance of using the term 'love/I love you' in fear of being weak. On that note, I didn't really know when he'd say the big ILY to Tyrus, just that it would be sometime at the very end of Part II. He really held out on me with that, not admitting until the very last chapter while half-delirious with pain 💀😂

Tyrus

Tyrus surprised me the least--I know this boy like the back of my hand. I will say, he did initiate sex a lot more often than I initially planned for 😂 I swear that's half the reason I had to keep adding chapters to Part III! It's true to life though that demisexuals often do feel sexual desire, it just takes longer and a very strong bond with the right partner 🩵

Oh man, I miss him--I still want to write a one-shot at least every month, so hopefully I can squeeze one in during the holidays!!

[carmybearzattos]

hey i’m not sure if you’ve gotten this question before but do you have any random carmy headcanons?? i feel like talkin about the best boy in chicago :)

omg no one has asked me this before ty! i spend all my time thinking about carmy so i would love to talk about the bestest boy <3

ok assorted random messy carmy headcanons:

• he’s got undiagnosed adhd and i’ve got an entire list of justifications for this headcanon if anyone cares

• carried round a little teddy bear when he was a kid because i mean he’s literally called bear someone bought that kid a teddy bear.

• his favourite meal he’s ever had is something mikey made. probably the braciole

• got some jokes made at his expense by the international staff at noma for being italian american. “you don’t know how to make real authentic italian food, your family makes american garbage” kind of stuff

• probably had one dickhead teacher at school (everyone’s had at least one) who wanted him to stand up and read aloud in spite of his stutter. got shit for that and for not making eye contact with the class when he spoke. poor boy suffered so much at school :(

• first thing he ever learned to “cook” as a tiny little baby was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. he doesn’t remember this bc he was too young but mikey put him up on a chair in the kitchen and showed him use a butter knife

• more of a mikey headcanon, but little mikey *did not* want another younger sibling. was not into the idea at all. then carmy was born and he immediately loved his baby brother more than anything in the whole entire world 💔

• the idea of virgin carmy is very endearing to me and just makes sense given the combination of his anxiety, the way his self hatred manifests in him just not allowing himself like anything good at all, and his lack of social life. but even if he has had sex before he’s still like had zero relationship experience but i mean that part’s canon.

• i like the idea of his angels tattoo being the very first one he got since it’s for sugar and mikey

• i don’t know when and i don’t know how but he gets that denim jacket he sells in the pilot back. me and jeremy allen white are in agreement on this.

• his mommy issues fascinate me. i don’t think she was ever abusive to carmy but between trying to run the beef and raise three kids on her own she probably didn’t have as much time for him as she wanted to and when she was around she was stressed and agitated and not great company. like her sons she probably had some undiagnosed mental illness going on and that had a big impact on carmy. probably worse than it did with mikey and sugar since they had their dad around longer. and i imagine carmy’s probably more like his mom than he ever wants to think about.

• speaking of his dad, i think carmy hates himself so much he probably sometimes thinks “oh maybe if i hadn’t been born maybe my dad would still be around. maybe one more kid was just too much and if it had only been mikey and sugar it would be fine.” he’s wrong of course, but this is the same boy who blames himself for mikey dying.

um ok i probably have a million more carmy thoughts but this is running long so here you go anon!

also if anyone ever wants to come into my ask box and talk about carmy (or sydney or richie!) please do i love to hear people’s thoughts!!!

[alaskan-wallflower]

rant under the cut (about wendy and kyle and their fanon portrayals)

why don’t people portray wendy as smart

wendy is EVERY BIT just as smart as Kyle is and yet kyle is always the one in fanfic who gets into fucking yale or some ivy league school while wendy is jacking it off in san diego or some shit, like i’m not saying wendy is a female kyle. i’m just saying that wendy is every bit as smart as kyle is and should be portrayed as such in fanfics

and i don’t understand wendy haters who just call her a bitch like how is she a bitch? is she a bitch for having strong opinions? again, i guess kyle would be a bitch then too? like wendy is CANONICALLY CLASS PRESIDENT and in every fucking fic she is portrayed as some bratty spoiled snob who just mentally berates stan or is being a fucking piece of shit to everyone around her like she is not a bitch. she is smart and she has strong opinions! like i literally don’t get wendy haters who say ‘oh wendy is a bitch, wendy is opinionated’ and then like praise kyle and put him on a pedestal.

and just to clarify i am not a kyle hater, kyle is my favorite character (one of them anyway). but wendy and kyle literally are both smart and are both people who have strong opinions, just one is a boy and one is a girl. so why when a girl has an opinion is she a bitch? why when a girl is canonically smart she has to be portrayed as dumb in fanfic? like sure maybe she wasn’t the best for stan, but to be fair he wasn’t the best for her! like the justification of her ‘being a bitch to stan!’ or ‘being too opinionated’ is so fucking funny to me.

And another thing, why is kyle always portrayed as the stressed out workaholic ‘school is life’ kid? like…okay, i’m guilty of this. (not the school is life part but the kinda workaholic part) i do have my own headcanons that he is really busy in high school, but with sports and clubs. He doesn’t just do school. like…this is the way I portray him. (school wise)

he does basketball, maybe swims. He might work on weekends because his parents want him to have a good footing in the workplace to prepare him for college. He does tutoring and tries to help people out and he does take school somewhat seriously. he’s just kinda book smart. he doesn’t study all the time. he may forget a meal every once in a while because he gets busy and loses track of time but he’s not actively starving himself or depriving himself of sleep. he really only studies for big tests and tries hard on projects but he doesn’t dedicate his life to school. (I don’t know if that really justifies my headcanoning and i’m sorry if it comes off as offensive or promotes bad jewish stereotypes if it does i’ll fix it, i swear)

but like…wouldn’t wendy be the same way? wendy is very dedicated to school and stuff, she works her tail off as well and gets the short end of the stick on almost every fanon scenario. She’s portrayed as a bitch, and in fanfics with OCs she is the stereotypical mean girl bully who ‘stops Y/N from getting with whoever the fuck she’s pining after’ and it’s so fucking annoying. She would not be a mean girl, if anything she would be one of the most welcoming people in school. And in high school fics when her and Bebe are portrayed as people who bully freshmen and stuff like maybe Bebe would a little bit but Wendy would not. if anything Wendy would stand up for them.

bottom line is don’t strip wendy of her intelligence. don’t strip wendy of her strong willed personality and dress her up as some mean girl bully. she isn’t any of that. and if kyle can be a smart, morally inept person then so can wendy. there’s no reason she can’t be.

[seriousbrat]

Why do you like snape

Why? because he's an interesting, complex character and I love his dysfunctional friendship with Lily.

he's not "good" but that's not why I like characters, I also love James and Sirius but their flaws and growth are what make them compelling to me, just like with Snape. I don't care for a woobified version of these characters that makes them into harmless little puppies who did nothing wrong, nor do I like when they're made out to be unreasonably evil and irredeemable bc neither is true. this might get a bit long sorry:

I see Sev as a child as being caught between two worlds. On the one hand his Muggle father represents everything he hates. Violent, belligerent, ignorant, careless and cruel to his loved ones, (and this is my hc) overly obsessed with football to the point where Leicester City's losses had a profound effect on stability in the home. I think growing up with Tobias and seeing the way he acted, esp at the pub with his Muggle mates, had a lot to do with Sev's prejudice towards Muggles. Even kinder Muggles like the Evanses I think he viewed as lesser. He was drawn to Lily, yes she was pretty but she was also a witch, the only other connection to the wizarding world in Cokeworth.

On the other hand, his mother. I think Sev's relationship with his mother was much more complex. I do think he resented Eileen for not using her magic to stand up to Tobias (imo she was like Merope where her magic diminished in the presence of her abuser) and basically dooming him to life as a half-blood, but he did seek to connect to her, to her heritage as a witch. he viewed this as an escape route from the oppressive "muggleness" of Tobias and also as proof that mixing with muggles was a bad thing for wizards.

Interestingly enough I think Sirius did a similar thing in plastering his bedroom with muggle stuff to underline his differences from his parents, but the similarities between the two are another story

I think Sev viewed himself as constantly being held back by his blood, by his Muggle upbringing. He resented people like James and Sirius and his fellow Slytherins for their privilege, which had as much to do with class as it did with blood. Here's a really good post on how class defines snape as a character. (though idk where they're getting the black country, it was only ever confirmed to be in the midlands but still. great post)

Finally going to Hogwarts wasn't the great liberation he'd pictured, however. I mean in some ways it was but he was immensely unpopular from day one. Obviously James and Sirius were horrible to him, but he wasn't accepted by the Slytherins either at first. His friendship with Lily did not help matters, and I think sometimes he was a bit embarrassed about it, as was she. They stuck by each other though, and that's something

He was desperate in school to gain validation, recognition despite (what he saw as) his great disadvantage as a half-blood. So when Mulciber and Avery started noticing his talent and bringing him in, he eagerly accepted their friendship and (imo) Mulciber especially put in A LOT of work to radicalise him, preying on his doubts and insecurities and feeding into the worst parts of him. Not that it's all Mulciber's fault, Sev still made Choices™ but I think we underestimate how easy it is for children, young boys especially, to be radicalised into hate groups. It's sad and I think that's an interesting thing to explore, for me at least.

My headcanon but in SWM he called Lily a mudblood not bc he truly believed it, but because his slytherin friends were present and he couldn't bear being humiliated in front of them. Again this isn't a justification, but I don't actually think he had much against Muggleborns, though he did view Lily with a sort of paternalistic air. He thought she was hampered by her upbringing (not true) and related to her in that sense. No one talks about this but in DH he tells Phineas Nigellus not to call Hermione a mudblood. That's growth baby

ofc he was very prejudiced against Muggles. it went too far in his case, but I'd argue that a lot of characters in HP display a tendency to view Muggles as stupid or ignorant, even if it is in a good-natured, condescending sort of way. imo Arthur Weasley as a character is supposed to show that wizards are just as bumbling and clueless about Muggles. Importantly, I think Harry himself does this sometimes, because of how the Dursleys treated him

ANyway, I think a fundamental thing is that his love for Lily superseded all of this in the end. Imo he was trying to protect her, always, and despite his heartbreak at the loss of their friendship I think on some level he was relieved that their distance meant she was kept away from the likes of Avery and Mulciber. And also WEIRD hc but I think a part of him almost... trusted James to keep her safe. Yes this is all very condescending, but that's Severus imo

Obv the picture I'm painting isn't especially pleasant, but so what? He's miles better than the other DE characters that fandom fawns over. He was still a scared, insecure, abused little boy once, and that justifies nothing but ultimately he sacrificed everything to do the right thing. Yeah it was largely about Lily, but honestly he fucking hated Harry's guts and still did everything in his power to protect him. To me he's an incredibly tragic character and a compelling one. Not everyone has to like him, and there's a lot of reasons not to but I do.

[angie-long-legs]

⚠️ TW FOR SA AND THE R WORD ⚠️

Headcanon: Angel's perspective regarding his own abuse (again, I can't stress enough that this might strike a chord if you've experienced SA so proceed with caution!)

Angel does not think of himself as a victim of sexual assault or rape. It's not something he's put a lot of thought into - quite the opposite. In order to cope and survive, he doesn't think about it. When he is made to think about it, that's when the flimsy excuses and justifications he comes up with to defend what happens to him start breaking down, and without those defences, he lashes out.

Excuses like "I gave consent when I gave him my soul, I signed up for this", "he's not like this all the time", "I still get off so it can't be that bad", "sometimes he's really sweet and loving", "I act up and piss him off, that's why he treats me like that", "if it was truly bad then I'd hate him, but I adore him".

It's easier to believe that you are not being hurt than to know that you are being hurt and can't do anything about it.

It's also important to remember that he is actively being abused, so these barriers he's put in place to prevent him from coming to terms with his reality are still serving their purpose. It wouldn't be safe for him confront exactly how horrific things truly are, or how little power he has in his situation. He says it himself:

"This is my escape! Where I can forget about it all! How much I hate... everything. A place where I can get high, and not have to think about how much it hurts."

What he's doing is survival, because being constantly aware of his own situation would bury him. Only in a situation where he was no longer being abused would he be able to truly process what has happened to him in any real depth.

He knows, to an extent, that what is happening to him is bad. He knows he's messed up because of it. But if you went up to Angel and said, "hey, when Val forces you to have sex with him or with others against your will, that's rape" he would most likely respond with anger and become deeply defensive. Where he's currently at in his story, he wouldn't be able to comprehend it in a way that was helpful or even safe for him.

Which is why he's numbing himself by getting high. And which is why getting sober while he's still being abused isn't safe either. Taking away his primary coping mechanism while he still has to endure the main reason for it would feel like a cruel punishment.

Which is why, since it's come up on here, Angel is unable to meaningfully process that his actions towards Husk pre episode 4 were harassment/assault. He struggles to comprehend that what he is constantly subjected to is indeed abuse, and to entertain the idea that his actions were not okay opens up a can of worms that can't coexist with the reality he has decided upon for himself. If even that level of unwanted attention is classed as harassment, what does that say about how other sinners instinctively treat him that same way? If that's not okay, what does that say about the more severe instances? What does that mean for damn near every sexual encounter he's ever had? What does it say about him, that he would cross someone else's boundaries, just like Valentino crossed his?

Much as I desperately want Angel to be held accountable for his harassment of Husk, I think he would only truly understand the depth of why the way he acted was wrong and harmful when he was out of his abusive situation and actively working on healing from his trauma. I think he would apologise for making Husk uncomfortable because he loves him and would feel remorseful for harming someone he cares about, but wouldn't be able to fully comprehend why what he did was wrong, because in doing so he would be admitting to having been harmed in ways he isn't ready to address.

[thousand-winters]

Ask game 🛼🍄🍬🥐🧩!

Hello, friend!!! I hope life has been treating you kindly lately 💖

🛼 ⇢ Describe your latest wip with five emojis

Going to use literally the last document I opened for this but: 😟🏃🏰🛌😢

🍄 ⇢ Share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I have a little hc that during the period of time between Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn, while Ike was kinda getting used to being the leader of the Greil mercenaries in peace times, sometimes he would get too stressed and irritable, so Soren would do something about it.

The "something" in question being going to him like "Ike, I have something very important to report" and while Ike's kinda only half paying attention, immersed as he is in his own head, Soren will just say a shitty joke in a deadpan. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" sort of dumb joke.

He doesn't even think they're funny, but they make Ike snort in disbelief and, since he knows Soren isn't the type to randomly crack jokes all of a sudden, he can tell what he's doing. Those times always end on a smile and a "thank you, Soren".

🍬 ⇢ Post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I didn't really think this was an unpopular opinion but I see it somewhat often around, the idea that Hunter killed people during his time as Golden Guard and I really don't agree with it. I feel like if Belos had made him do that, Hunter would have cracked so much earlier because his compassionate nature would be at odds with the act itself, even if he had been told they were bad people. He couldn't even get himself to catch Luz in Hunting Palismen, so I think he would have let a shit ton of people go and Belos wouldn't have taken that kindly.

At most, I can see him unfortunately being involved in someone getting killed in the same way he was with the palismen he handed Belos; aka, him possibly capturing people and those people ending up dead or petrified. But I really, really don't think he ever killed someone himself, and in the case of capturing wild witches and such, I feel like that would have to be a very special occasion too (I feel like lowkey Belos probably always had a certain wariness that his grimwalkers would run off with a wild witch or such, especially if Caleb wasn't the only one who did through his messed up story of brotherly murder and clonation)

🥐 ⇢ Name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

Oh, my god, there was this meme in Spanish (very unsure if it also exists in English because it's from those monkey puppets that are memes but I never watched the source material of that properly so no idea) that went like: student character goes to present their teacher with a medical justification for missing class while saying something like "I got sick but I'm better now", teacher goes "it says here you got hit by a car and died" and then the student says "wow, science really advances, right?"

I don't think it has the same punch with me saying like this as seeing the thing but for some reason it cracked me up so much when I saw it. Now sometimes if someone asked what happened to me for whatever reason, half the time I go "I got hit by a car and died" and then laugh, which is probably not the best thing to say without context lmao 😭 I don't do it unless it's in a silly kind of context tho, don't worry.

My sister also sometimes will explain things by going "science really advances" and I die every fucking time too.

🧩 ⇢ What will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

1st person POVs, I'm so sorry, I just can't do it 😔 It causes such a visceral reaction of second hand embarrassment in me even if there's no actual embarrassing content in the description. I just cannot do it, it's even worse for me than paragraphs with no space between them or such, depending on the day I can power through those but the 1st person? Nope.

Thank you for the questions!!! From this ask game

[alovelyburn]

why exactly do you think griffith isn't a problematic character? i'm very interested.

The phrasing of this ask leads me to believe it's not being sent in good faith, but I'm ignoring that and answering anyway.

So, I mean, the easy answer is "because he's a fictional character whose actions or behavior have zero real world impact."

The longer answer is, if you're referring to the colloquial definition of problematic which involves actions or attitudes that are in some way indicative of harmful beliefs, prejudices etc, then there's literally no evidence that he has any of those things. You might be able to make a case for slight sexism based on him telling Casca that sleeping next to Guts is a woman's duty, but other than that he's infamously egalitarian in every area - he accepts anyone regardless of ethnicity, gender, background, etc.

This even carries through to NeoGriffith, who is literally inventing public education, creating pathways to citizenship for refugees, requiring Apostles to behave civilly and stop attacking/killing people, and actively chipping at class distinctions, which he always did, which is why conservative nobles hated him so much.

What people mean when they say Griffith is problematic is generally that they're mad at him about the Eclipse and specifically because Femto raped Casca, and often that they've made up all kinds of negative headcanon about the way he was as a human because of Femto's actions during the Eclipse. But I don't care about anyone's Griffith Was A Sociopath headcanon or whatever, I care about what's in the actual series.

You could argue that FEMTO is problematic (he doesn't quite fit my understanding of what problematic means, but I'm not going to act like he isn't a whole entire asshole) but FEMTO isn't GRIFFITH, he's Griffith's soul shot through with the energies of hell, and with his emotions blunted, his humanity removed, and his moral limitations lifted.

People who call him problematic also usually mean that they're judging his actions from a modern western perspective when he's a medieval-to-renaissance era fantasy character created by a Japanese man in the 80s, so I find the application of a 2023 American moral paradigm sort of pointless. Particularly because people generally only apply the paradigm to Griffith specifically, because they're mad at him and not at, say, Guts despite Guts being a mass murderer by any modern standard.

The most honest answer is, all of the above but also I just don't find any utility in passing moral judgement on manga characters to begin with.

That doesn't mean I can't discuss his actions, their implications, their justification or lack thereof - is it okay to kill people who are trying to kill you, do the ends justify the means, how much death is acceptable in the creation of a nice place to live, etc etc. I like discussing these things. But I'm not going to discuss them from a place of judging whether those actions are problematic or even whether they're good or bad; I find that boring and reductive. One of the reasons I love Berserk to begin with is that it rejects these paradigms, so I'm not trying to impose them after the fact.

[shiroselia]

You see a good thing about my preferred Marianne ships being the two mfers I like to make cavaliers, is that I can take the headcanon I originally developed for DimiMari and apply it to SylvMari too

i.e "Marianne only rides Dorte as a holy knight because yknow she doesn't get to be a healer and also get Dorte which is stupid but anyways-" Solved by headcanons!

DimiMari version: Dimitri rides Dorte pre-timeskip and hands him over to Marianne post-timeskip (See: Me making Dimitri a cavalier pre-skip but having Marianne as a holy knight post-skip cause yknow. Dimitri is infantry post-skip and u can get Marianne healing AND on horseback after 300 years)

SylvMari version: Sylvain either rides Dorte both pre- and post-skip, and have Marianne go into Gremory or some shit, Or Sylvain takes another horse post-skip so Marianne can have Dorte

(Or if u don't care for giving a shit about class restrictions in three houses then yknow apply as necessary BUT I love finding headcanon justifications for gameplay integration so HERE WE ARE-)

[trashlie]

heyooo it's lil anon again 😼 sorry for disappearing for a while. hope you've been well, though! <3 i'm glad you enjoyed my shinae powerpoint headcanons, your reaction made me smile so much my cheeks hurt LMAO

on anti-hero nol, i'm actually 100% with you! i'm a firm believer in "living well is the best revenge" and i *need* to see this character heal and find peace :( </3 it's just the possibility of it hanging over his head that appeals to me; him coming close to tipping over, being aware that he could go down this path and would have all the reasons and justifications to do it, but then still choosing not to. but yeah hopefully he doesn't cross that line and becomes a dying star like you put it so beautifully ;A; what do you think of the possibility of him becoming the ceo btw? there has been some foreshadowing, but personally i don't see current nol being happy in a position like that, he hates this entire environment too much. also i just don't like the idea of him becoming a venture capitalist lmao ;; that patreon post of the trio post-timeskip and nol being dressed in casual clothes (instead of business-like like shin and kou) kinda aligns with my thoughts, but i know it's very flimsy lol. also crazy thought but walk with me for a second. capitalism being evil aside, what if in a turn of events shinae becomes the ceo instead? wouldn't that be wild for SO many reasons? listen, chances are low but never zero! 😋

re: alyssa... first of all, thank you for your detailed commentary, i completely agree with what you said about her circumstances, sexuality, need to fit in etc. and it's great that you like her and are optimistic about her, i genuinely mean it! the main reason i don't vibe with alyssa is that she uses people as stepping stones to climb higher and never lifts them up with her. for example, when she started hanging out with more people in middle school, she could've used her "improved" social standing to help shinae. she could've introduced her, been like "hey this girl is actually really cool guys give her a chance". but instead she started ignoring shinae, basically tried to get rid of her when she didn't need her anymore. yeah, she kind of defended shinae once, but that's not enough for me. you can say maybe she feared losing her new status, or was scared of her feelings, or was simply too immature, but i think she really should know what it's like to be an outcast, what it's like to be alone. and it bothers me that she basically just left shinae behind when she moved up. same thing when she met nol/soushi/dieter; she latched on to nol to benefit from his family and then started ignoring him, doing the bare minimum to not lose that connection. we've never actually seen her with soushi/dieter. i wouldn't be surprised if she's never even contacted them after becoming a trainee/mingling with the upper class. her desperate need to fit in and aspiring power are meh but understandable, but it's the lack of gratitude and empathy that just bothers me :// like these are all people who were kind to her when she was at her lowest, yet this is how she treats them? she just... takes it all for granted and never gives back? some might say she doesn't owe them anything, but to me, it's just basic decency. not to sound cheesy, but... climb the ladder all you want, just don't forget who was there for you when you were at the bottom :/ and yeah i'd still love for her to free herself from yui and grow as a person (and ideally end her comphet era), but i also wonder if there's even space for major alyssa development...

i also saw your recent post on the entire shinae dieter nol/romantic development thing fiasco and hoo boy you are so right. tbh what also really bothers me (on top of the hypocrisy and ableism) is how people tend to strip female characters of their agency 💀 like... how about we let shinae have her own preferences and make her own choices, even if it contradicts with what we'd personally do in her situation? instead of inserting ourselves via her and simultaneously centering everything around the guys??

this might ruffle some feathers. while i respect everyone's preferences, concerns, and opinions, it seems to me like some people who vehemently want shinae and dieter to be canon (or want nol and shinae to stay platonic) just... don't see the bigger picture here. like, nol and shinae are supposed to be the counterpart to rand and nessa. they're supposed to break free from yui and achieve the happiness rand and nessa tragically couldn't. in the context of the full story, them being lovers has a significant narrative purpose. don't get me wrong, i really don't believe that *all* ships need to have a narrative purpose, or that it makes a ship better, not at all! and it doesn't mean everyone has to *like* this ship, but it's important to understand that there is a reason why it's these two characters and not anyone else. i know this is very meta and i don't blame readers for not seeing the parallels (yet) because the hints have been very subtle, but once you realize it, you just can't unsee it... and sure, i don't know how the story will go, i might be completely wrong. but i'd be surprised if quim misses out on the opportunity to explore this parallel after setting it up. idk. what are your thoughts?

oh gosh, i talked so much again. alright. peace out - lil anon 😼

AHHHHH Lil Anon!!! I've missed you!!!! I hope you've been well! I got so excited when I opened tumblr and saw a new message notification because I was so hopeful it would be you! I haven't been able to pull myself together to talk about the recent episodes (which is a shame because I am LOVING them!) but I think this is gonna give me the head space to do it, now!!! Sometimes you just gotta dip your toe in and then the full brainrot goes STRONG!

what do you think of the possibility of him becoming the ceo btw? there has been some foreshadowing, but personally i don't see current nol being happy in a position like that, he hates this entire environment too much.

BOY DO I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS! I'm very much with you, here. Just like I'm not into the idea of Nol being an anti-hero and his story being about revenge, I can't see him becoming CEO. I think people want it because the whole taking from Kousuke what he wants*, defying Yui's intentions, the David and Goliath of it all and I get that but - right. I want Nol to live WELL, I want him to live HAPPILY. I don't want him in a career that he doesn't love the way Kousuke has been, I don't want him in an environment that doesn't appeal to him. And maybe we're wrong - maybe there's a part of him that feels comfortable and will thrive, but from what little he's said of it, when he told Shinae he doesn't feel like it he fits in to this world really he's just putting on that mask, playing that role, it makes me feel like it's not his ideal setting. And, yes, I have considered the Patreon illustration as part of this. I know this was work for a client so we can only glean so much from it - is she really using it as a glimpse of the future? I like to think so!

But something I've been thinking a LOT about re: this current arc is that we will at some point see Nol, Kousuke, and Shinae as a team. I've always thought she's going to be that bridge, but I think Nol and Kousuke themselves are going to find their ways to peace and healing.... but it's gonna be a long road lol. But something I've been talking about with another reader is that we could have the trio set up where Kousuke acts as a double agent and Corporate World Shinae is the eyes and ears for Nol who I think may not join in the corporate world. Now, I can't be more detailed about how I think this would work because I am not a corporate person at alllll lmao but I think there's something soooo satisfying about the idea of Kousuke following the path Yui intended, but to turn around and use that power to dismantle her. Could he (and Shinae) quietly amass allies? Could he enact policy change that would somehow oppose her or her methods? Where does Nol come into this? Look idk I gotta see what the future holds LMAO but I've come to really love this idea of them being a team beneath Yui's nose, of Yui's little creation taking everything she taught him everything she instilled in him and using it against her lmaoooo

Hear me out, okay? I know right now it seems like Nol has wiped his hands of Kousuke, has said too little too late that's not changing. But Nol is under the impression that Yui loves Kousuke. He's under the impression that Kousuke has always had his needs met, that she'd do anything for him, that she has always treated him like a prince. But we know now that's not the case. We can see that Kousuke never had that warm, loving relationship with Yui that Nol had with Nessa. And with the theory that Yui has been drugging Kousuke become more and more likely, I think Nol will have a change of heart whenever things come to light, whenever he realizes that Kousuke, too, has been very much a victim of Yui, that he was denied things that even Nol had for a short time. I don't think it means immediate forgiveness, but I think Nol would be able to find a formidable ally in someone who also cannot trust Yui further than he could throw her, who has been used and neglected by her.

There's a lot I hope for with the tragic siblings lmao. Nol has always felt Kousuke was the favored one, the one lavished in love when his was taken away. But Kousuke had always felt that Nol had the easy life, that because he didn't have to earn Rand's love (because he thought Nol had once done it) his life was easy, no burden or expectations. But once they both get that out of the way, once they see how the other has lived? What could be more glorious than the two people Yui set to make enemies of each other teaming up to destroy her with Shinae?

I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT!

That said I've never considered the idea of Shinae as CEO! Like Nol, I don't think it's quite something she'd want - I really just. Like the idea of Shinae helping people, but if she's going to stay in the corporate world like we think, then what would she be doing? Would she remain as Kousuke's assistant? Would she find that she has strength in something else? I'm really curious to see what her path is, because I don't know if this is going to be a "discover a strength you didn't realize you possessed" kind of deal or a "stay in this world so that you can defeat the evil and then figure yourself out" kind of thing.

Since Nol intended to follow in Rand's footsteps - was it his own empty hope that maybe he could make Rand see him for who he is, to be proud of him for once? or is it that this IS what he wants? Is that what he's going to do after prison? I'm so insatiably curious about this part of the future - where will everyone be? What are their intentions?! That image on patreon lives rent free at the back of my mind lmao like it's just SO intriguing to me, and how Nol seems so lax compared to Shinae but they're still linked to each other? I WANT TO SEE THE FUTURE SO BADLY!

When it comes to Alyssa, don't worry, I definitely get this! Like... there are DEFINITELY reasons to dislike Alyssa - I just always ask that people who dislike her dislike her for those reasons lmao like. I feel like so often she's gotten dislike simply because she "stands in the way of a ship" (which is... lmao hard to argue at this point of the story).

but i think she really should know what it's like to be an outcast, what it's like to be alone.

I think this is why I really want to see the story go to a place where Alyssa does have that fall from grace - where Sarah Lee of all people brings up bullying allegations and Alyssa's fans turn on her. Both because she has to, at some point, realize that conditional love is not going to fill the void she's trying to fill, and yes, because at some point if she's to grow, she NEEDS to contend with being alone - really alone, with only herself. I also agree that we may not have that in this story. I know I've discussed this before but it's very likely there are characters who won't see a "redemption arc". I just hope we get to see her grow, that maybe if she faces what she's been so afraid of, she'll finally see what she took for granted, what she didn't appreciate. I don't think it's likely that she'll win people over as fans lol but I guess I just acknowledge that I enjoy some really messy girls so I can't hold that against others who don't lmaoooo Alyssa is one of those characters who I think I'm as critical of as I enjoy, because what makes her so fascinating to me is the ways that she is uhhh... not a great friend, not a great partner lmaooo but I can't help but want to see her do better, be better. But I genuinely don't think it will happen unless she can find that comfort with herself.

And I guess that IS the thing about why I like her - there's something so very human about her that even if I don't approve of what she does, even if I hope for her to make changes, I understand why she is, and why she may never. But look, I acknowledge I'm a very hopeful person for some reason hah!

like... how about we let shinae have her own preferences and make her own choices, even if it contradicts with what we'd personally do in her situation? instead of inserting ourselves via her and simultaneously centering everything around the guys??

The funny thing about this is - this is how shipping has ALWAYS been. I know I was guilty of it when I was younger, too. I'm not even sure when I changed, but just that I was one day very aware of shipping debates that went "Well, I just don't think he's very masculine and I personally don't like him so I ship her with the other guy" and right like at that point... go write your self-insert fic, friend! That's clearly what you want, that's okay! Go write it! Shipping is fun and I'm not going to accuse people who get very into media for shippy reasons for reading for the wrong reasons or something, but right like... at the end of the day is it about YOUR preferences or is it about what makes most sense with the characters?

Like, I know whenever I talk about my shipping feelings I always preface that frankly, I don't think Shinae and Nol are in the place FOR a relationship right now. Nol is still trying to hide his feelings, Shinae isn't aware of hers. I think ultimately when people ship things, they ship them in a best case scenario. Like, shipping them doesn't mean I NEED them to confess and start dating right now - it means I hope that eventually that outcome may be, but I'm enjoying their interactions, I'm enjoying how they affect each other, I'm enjoying how their relationship affects the story.

And yeah! From a meta point, it's really clear that parallel has been set in motion. And definitely, shipping based on literature device is not a reason TO ship - but I think it just plays into what makes them shippable? Because yeah we see them mirroring something that was ultimately tragic, something with a ripple effect so vast it's caught all of these people in the waves, and we want to see it go differently. We see Nol falling into his father's footsteps whether or not he realizes it and we want to see him stop that, we want to see the generational cycle ended. And as a device it works BECAUSE of what they mean to each other, what their chemistry is. It gives us an idea of what Rand and Nessa were like, and we end up hoping that Shinae can be to Nol what Nessa couldn't be to Rand. What could have happened if they'd been able to be a team, if they'd been able to deal with the obstacles around them.

And that's what makes a story! If a story was meant to be about the easiest routes, the "safest" or "healthiest" routes, would there be any story? And I say safest or healthiest that way because we don't know that Dieter and Shinae WOULD be any healthier. Like, yeah Dieter is straight forward about Shinae and he doesn't have a reason to hide or deny his feelings. But by virtue of being a more well-adjusted character, it's likely to be harder for Dieter to understand or deal with Shinae's particular baggage. It's not just about if one half of this relationship is "stable" because Shinae, too, has baggage. That's why we see Nol and Shinae drawn to each other on that emotional level even when they don't realize it right away - Shinae understands Nol's skittishness, why he pushes people away and isolates himself, because she's been there. Likewise, we've see that he understands when she isolates herself, when she put her walls back up to him and he made her take them down.

There's so many things I could - and maybe will one day - write about how the thing about Nol and Shinae is that they operate on the same frequency. Dieter provides security, that's definitely true. But security is not the end all of relationships, and it's not what everyone seeks, either. To some people, that's too safe, too healthy lol.

But right, between the writing acknowledging that Nol and Shinae operate on the same frequency, how they're able to understand and accept the way the other is and the very obvious parallel to Rand and Nessa set up, it's clear that this route provides more story. Again, like you said, that's not a reason TO necessarily ship something, but the set up is done not in spite of what Dieter and Shinae could be. It doesn't sacrifice a chunk of story for nothing, you know?

idk I have a lot of thoughts that maybe I'll get down one day but right, that's what it really comes down to. The parallel between Nessa/Rand and Shinae/Nol wouldn't work as well if they didn't have that chemistry, if they didn't respond to each other the way they do. It's the way Shinae continues to try to reach him even when he tries to push her away. It's the stupid way he tries to push her away but has that tendency to fold. It's the way she brings him that comfort and peace, and how he brought out of a part of her she was too afraid to ever let out again. I don't think I'd be much into the pairing at this point if it seemed to me that Shinae had no stock in it, if it didn't have pay off for her. If it was constantly being hurt with no sign of him ever changing? But she herself has made the resolution to keep trying, to find a new approach, to break down his walls like he did for her. And frankly? She's never really seemed to like things coming to her easy has she alfjkfakjfaj LMAO

At the end of the day, it's about Shinae's choices. It's not about what is healthiest, what is more stable, who has hurt who. It's about who want to be with each other \o/ It's fine to be disappointed if she doesn't end up dating Dieter, but yeah, it feels weird for the discourse to end up being "Dieter liked her first" or "He's more stable" instead of it being "Oh no poor Dieter, it looks like Shinae has developed feelings for his friend :(" or something that allows her to have her agency.

(Also I hate the "so and so liked them first" because it also removes the agency of the other person. Dieter liked her first, it's true, but if he wound up liking his friend, and his friend wound up liking her, does that mean they can never be together? Dieter will not be hung up on Shinae for the rest of his life, I am sure. In the same way that Dieter has been comfortable and secure for Shinae, I think she was similar to him, too. She made him feel seen. And there will be others who will make him feel seen, too. His heart will heal and he will be okay. Acting like it's a cardinal sin for Nol to have inadvertently developed feelings is so afljkakfjjkaf? If he could control his feelings that way, then he would have used to that control to not care about them like he so badly wanted to lmao. If he could control his feelings, he would have done everything in his power to stop! alfkjkafkjafjkf see this is why I'm gonna wind up writing an essay one day. YOU THINK NOL INTENDED TO FALL FOR SHINAE?! He only just realized that's what's happened lmao you think he schemed for this? You think he pointedly did things to make her like him so he could "steal" her from someone she isn't dating? YELLS)

[galaxysharks]

I need to write these down or they will never get out of my head. Guys I found the bullet points.

Maddox&Jet headcanons:

General

Jet&Maddox are 1/2 siblings, Maddox is 11 months older.

Maddox's mother died during childbirth, and she's been raised by Jet's mom her whole life.

Their parents are very strict, partially in an effort to help their children with various struggles, but usually come off as cold because of it.

Lots of little rules/'traditions' at their house

Includes: Meal logs, curfews, designated practice times, no dating, top grades, ect.

Most of these are technically just for Maddox's benefit, but you know....siblings.

Not homophobic, but still does not approve of the kids dating.

Their parents are both accountants. (Mostly due to Maddox's tax season comment).

Stopped sending Jet to Shallow Lake to try and use other avenues to curb his behavior, they figured it would bring up too many memories of being pressured to play music.

Maddox kept going to maintain her routine and because she loves it.

Sent Jet this year to try to repair the relationship.

Maddox

Autistic

Special interests are basically anything set realated

Woodworking, tech set up, costumes, ect.

And CAMP.

Loves camp so much.

Her bed at home has a frame to turn it into her bottom bunk.

Jet uses the top bunk when company is over.

Has a blanket with the forest printed on it hung up on her wall.

Follows her parents regiment to the letter, partially because it never occurred to her to not, and also she recognizes that having a routine helps her in some ways.

She doesn't see a reason for Jet to have to do them too, but gets annoyed at his disregard of their parents.

As far as she's concerned, Jets mother is hers, she has no memory of her own and feels no particular way about her. To Maddox, it was the equivalent of an egg donar.

Gets asked by their parents to help contain Jet.

Gets frustrated because the whole 'Im older' argument stopped working once he realized it was by less than a year, making this a lot higher.

Used to attend various 'socializing exercises' but stopped once her parents saw that they made her outbursts worse and more frequent.

Destroys furniture when overwhelmed. Learned woodworking originally so she could replace things she broke.

Built her bedframe, desk, and a little clubhouse in their backyard.

Can cook several edible but bland foods. She learned this to feed the two of them when their parents are working late.

Does not usually like full-contact hugs. ( From Ej's side hug vs his hug with mutual old friend Val )

Is jealous of the attention their parents pay to Jet despite his lack of respect for their rules.

Is also slightly resentful that Jet can find friends anywhere, despite being sour and aloof, while she tries so hard to be nice and friendly and just says the wrong thing constantly.

Has technically been a 'councilor-in-training' for several years, but isn't old enough to be a full councilor yet.

Helps one of the local colleges teach woodshop classes in order to make pocket money.

Jet

Hates his parents rulebook for several reasons.

They're never home to really enforce them, but punish freely.

They rely on Maddox telling them when he doesn't follow them.

Their justification is that they're for Maddox, but most of them don't even help her, they just stress her out more.

Fluctuates between half-assing his and just not doing it.

He thinks their parents treat Maddox as somehow both older and younger than she is. Old enough to be responsible for his actions, but too young to regulate her own meals and relationships.

Hates that his parents have Maddie babysit him, because she's not really any better at existence than he is. He hates that they expect her to know how to do this.

He's the one that told their parents that the social exercises were making Maddie worse.

Learned piano on YouTube.

Has an almost virtuoso talent for music.

Spent the better part of several years going to various competitions before getting burnt out.

Maddie gave him the duck. She also sewed it's foot back on at least three times.

Still occasionally goes to her room when he can't sleep to steal the top bunk.

Is surprisingly personable when not being deliberately obtuse.

Hated Ej from a distance for a while because he can read between the lines of some random jock suddenly being nice to his sister once he sees she has keys to restricted areas.

Settled on neutral feelings once a couple years passed and Maddox kept hanging out with him without incident.

Acts out both to annoy their parents and to keep them occupied so they don't try to get Maddox to do things that would overwhelm her.

Maddox has an unfortunate tendency to say slightly rude things, he has a tendency to accidentally spill his sister's business to people.

Got expelled for changing one of Maddie's grades to passing so she could still go to camp.

All she knows is he broke into the records office, which is like ultimate disrespect for the rules.

Did not get charged because the principal was sympathetic to him, also because they knew what his parents were like.

[tretaaysel]

Hello Jana! (＾▽＾)

How are you? ^_^ I hope you're well! What ships do you like in hetalia? Whose your favorite character? When did you get into hetalia?

For the potential Au ask game I have this AU - folklore au where all folklore around the world are true. How do you think that would affect hetalia characters? If if does.? Actually this is kinda a hard Au I suppose? Or maybe the hetalia characters are actually the creatures/ghosts from folklore? Did any of that make sense?

Anyway, hope you have a lovely day! -🪽

← Wait!!! I actually thought of a good au. The hetalia characters as teachers, a teachers' or school staff au au. Who'd be the principal, the fun teacher, janitor, counselor, math teacher, etc?

Hello! I'm pretty good, thank you! ^.^ This got kinda long so now it lives under a cut.

I got into Hetalia originally around 2012/2013. (I actually have a side blog on here that I was using in 2014). A friend of mine sent me a link through, whatever messenger program we were using at the time, and all he said was "Watch this." I did, I am now here. Forever.

I swear my favorite character always slips between Rome and Romano. They are both serious comfort characters to me. I have so many thoughts and feelings surrounding the two of them that I cannot even put into words. One day I will probably be organized to. They both live rent-free in my brain at this point and have since 2012.

I have a document on my computer about Rome that MAYBE I'll turn into a fic one day. It was more detailed information for an old rp account I used to have around 2018 on facebook.

Also, honorable mention to Nyo!America as being like my 3rd favorite character. Where I get to project my own thoughts about living in America as a woman onto her.

Ships! Spamano has been a favorite since 2012. I have a number of headcanons and things that hav evolved over time.

Rusme, BUT only if it's Russia x Nyo!America. I have no idea why. It has to be her. It can't be America, but HAS to be Nyo!America.

Also, Ameripan is really cute too.

I like other ships too but those three are what came to mind first.

Give me enough time to cook on a folklore AU and I will have answers one day. Just not today.

A school staff AU? Lmao, could be very interesting

Okay this is what I can come up with.

Germany and Lichtenstein: Home Economics

Prussia: Janitor, has airpods in while cleaning during school hours, dancing around

Austria: Music teacher

England: English Lit, teaches the advanced class

Monaco and Macao: Math Teachers, but cool. Teach you to count cards

Veneziano: Art

China and France: The very chaotic school admins

Canada: 1x1 aide for a student that needs it

America: Probably running around making sure kids are in class

Romano: Agriculture

Spain and Belgium: Daycare services for staff and students with kids

Some I feel like are obvious and some I could make justifications for. I could stew on this for hours, BUT these are the ones that come to mind at first pass.

Maybe I will build a school staff AU one day for real

This was fun, thank you anon. ;;