#about how much i was consuming and how disgusting i was
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Okay, so apparently people have been harassing Kat, Earth's VA because they... don't like the characters she plays and how she writes for the show? The actual fuck?
Like don't get me wrong, perfectly fine to look at a character and decide you don't like them, even hate them potentially, but you don't go and harass the people responsible for making the character. That's just plain dumb. I hate/dislike characters from some of the shows (Bonnie from Moon and Sun Minecraft for example), but that doesn't give me the right to go and harass their VAs. BECAUSE IT'S JUST A CHARACTER FOR A SILLY LITTLE SHOW PEOPLE MAKE FOR FREE! IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS! Sure I may rant about the character, but NEVER badmouth the actor, because them being able to achieve such a visceral reaction out of me by just looking at the character, makes them so incredibly talented.
Like how can you be so fucking terminally online, that you decide to harass someone because "I Don't LiKe ThE chaRacTeR"?! Like that's no valid reason to do that! Go and touch some god fucking grass, my god! I swear it's actually good for you!
Like this is just straight up disgusting behaviour in general. It's unacceptable, and shows just how much of a coward these people actually are, because there're no consequences for THEM. And well, they clearly don't fucking care about their fellow human beings, so like jfc.
And like the shit Kat does is for FREE! She doesn't charge us money for her services! She just went and did some amazing stuff for us, and now some idiots're feeling butthurt because they hate female characters or something.
I sincerely hope it was only a couple of individuals at worst, and a single person at best, because my faith in humanity is already rather fragile, and this is just ridiculous and pathetic.
So like, if by some miracle the person/people who harassed Kat is/are reading this, I want you to know this says more about to how sad and pathetic you actually are, and how you peaked back on the playground as a bully and didn't manage to develop into an actual fucking person, than it does anything about Kat. I hope you realise just how stupid you are, but I know you likely won't. Because people like you lack brains, so you can't comprehend basic fucking concepts like how the sky is blue, and 2 + 2 is 4. Or how grass is not your fucking enemy.
This isn't about just just Kat, because from what I've heard, other female characters' actresses get similar bs, and their characters get tremendous ammount of hate compared to male characters that potentially did incredibly horrid stuff, but I don't really follow the other TSBS to know what's going on. But my gods. That's so disappointing.
Why are fandoms nowadays so toxic? Back in my day, and I'm not that old myself either, and joined fandoms later than most people in said fandoms, since I'm a not native english speaker, but back in the day fandoms were so much more positive. Sure, there was the toxic minority, but they were just that. Loud small group of jerks. Like when did we start catering to these people? When did we decide that these toxic people were whom we should listen to, and explain every little thing we do to them? Like why do I have to explain why I like villian characters or whatever to internet strangers? I think people are more than smart enough to realise morality should not be taken from media!
And when did fanart and fanfic start becoming expectation, something the fanfic writer has to do, the fanart artist has to do? Instead it being the expression of joy and feelings the consumed media gave them? When did shipping become life or death? When did a headcanon or an AU become so fucking serious that lives apparently depend on it with how people jump eachother? Why can't we just relax and have fun? Like do what fandom is meant for?
This is obviously not for the people who didn't do any of this shit, but the fact I need to clarify that or someone will get offended is disheartening. Like people please deal with your anxieties! If it's not your shirt, don't put it on as a saying in my native tongue goes!
Sorry for the angry rant, it's just so disappointing, especially because Kat is such a talented person! I really enjoy how she plays these characters and I love her writing! So I thank her for deciding to not just quit altogether, no matter how understandable that would have been! I hope stepping back will make things better!
I just hope her mental health doesn't have to suffer more, because this shouldn't have happened to her in the first place. She's been doing amazing work, for free I'll say once again, and I'll forever cherish it! I hope things get better for her!
If by some miracle this reaches Kat, thank you for sticking with us for as long as you have! I hope things'll get better for you! Take care of yourself! :)
#the sun and moon show#sun and moon show#tsams#sams#the lunar and earth show#lunar and earth show#tlaes#laes#the eclipse and puppet show#eclipse and puppet show#teaps#eaps#*points at first fucking post I've ever made* THIS IS NOT THAT SERIOUS#NONE OF THIS IS THAT SERIOUS#these people shared a piece of their soul with us in the form of the media they created and those people decided to do what?#harass them? what the fuck?#sorry about the rant (and the cursing) but it's a very shitty situation#how could people be this terminally online to think doing such thing is acceptable?#if it (though I doubt) reaches any of the VAs who got harassed by those absolute morons#thank you for what you have and what you are doing. it's incredible#SunrayRants#angry rant#rant
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Why don’t I believe it when you say I’m pretty?
I know I have image problems, but that’s only been said to me when people don’t mean it. It’s always pretty and not hot. Cute but not attractive. The funny one.
It’s not your fault, but it hurts sometimes. It hurts every time. And then I look in the mirror, and it hurts more.
I do not portray what I see myself as in the mirror. I see such a different person, such a different body and face. I think I look better in my mind.
I think it’s cruel that our minds think of such different realities. It’s never fair how I wish I could be prettier for you.
I wish I didn’t have to pretend I don’t care.
fuck. yknow?
I wish I didn't have to pretend that my weight didn't bother me, or that my face didn't bother me.
I'm used to people making fun of me for it, and me having to laugh it off like it didn't bother me.
I still think about it.
And it's not really fair of me to push my insecurities on you like that. It's not fair of me to think you're such an awful person to be either lying or making fun of me. Because you're not an awful person.
But it feels like I am.
I feel like all I am is my trauma.
I feel like I'm still that little kid in their ballet class sucking in my stomach because my teacher told us never to get fat.
I still feel like I'm the kid who purposefully starved themselves in elementary school and blamed their medication for it.
I still feel like the kid that was compared to their mother, when their mother was always talking about how she needed to lose weight, and how unattractive she was.
I still feel like I'm a failure when it comes to my weight.
You've never said anything about it to me. But the time will come when you accidentally say something wrong about it and I will lash out because I don't know how to respond.
Because I'm an awful person.
And I am insecure.
And I am scared.
#it's late#but i just have a lot of feelings#my weight has always been a sore subject especially to my parents#my mom had me eating 100 calorie bars when i was a kid because she was going through weight watchers and didn't want me to become her#but she would take me to those meetings and they would talk about calorie counting and i found myself looking at every single menu thinking#about how much i was consuming and how disgusting i was#i think i'm just having a bad day
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Some of the posts I see here y'all gotta stop seeing fanfics as "bad dc takes". Like, it's perfectly fine to not like a trope that's popular in fanfic, but you gotta stop seeing it as character meta is what I'm saying. Fanfic writers are not canon writers, they do not owe you canon compliant, and you don't get to assume that what they're writing comes from a place of ignorance when there are so many reasons to include/not include something in your fic.
Like, allow me to use my own fics as example since they're the only one I have background info on the knowledge and motivations of the author:
-I wrote a fic with Lazarus Rage in it once. Do I know it's not canon? Absolutely. Do I think it's necessary for the understanding of Jason's character? Not at all, I think canon Jason is more interesting without the pit rage. I just wanted to write it once because it looked cathartic and you know what? It was. It was super cathartic. I wanted to write a story about the progression of a depressive episodes and using pit rage to talk about the feeling of loss of control with intense anger issues and sensation of loss and deep self-hatred afterwards, and i thought writing this is gonna feel good and it felt good, for me and for the readers.
-I'm also currently finishing another fic, in which I've simplified Tim's relationship with Jason's a lot (basically Tim is still haunted by Jason's ghost and Dick is still his favourite Robin but the victim blaming is much less intense and there's an intense, genuine admiration for Jason and happiness to get him back). Is it because I hate canon and its complexity? No, I love it, I love when character relationships are fucked up and they make a mess. I'd love to explore that in a different fic, even have the prompt already. But I'm writing a really intense fic about trauma, taboo and lack of communication around sexual abuse, and there are so many characters pov and things happening and I have to do this right because we're talking about things that happen to real people and not being accidentally insensitive or sending a shit message is more important to me than perfect canon compliance, and it's just not the place for it. This story isn't about tim, and it's not about victim-blaming. It's a fascinating can of worms to open, but I'm not gonna open it if I don't have the space to deal with it because I'm not gonna let worms roam freely all over my fanfic when I can choose not to include the worms in my story, because it might rely on base material but it's still a finite story that exists within its own scope because I'm not a comics writer, I'm a fanfic writer and my story doesn't exist as a pure extension of the comics and I don't owe you canon compliance. And how boring would that be if we could only write canon compliant stuff! No more coffee shop aus, no powers aus, fantasy aus, no more non canon ships between characters that hated eachother until the day they died (but had so much sexual tension)... Fanfic is not one single entity that takes place in a simplified version of the canon universe complete with consistent lukewarm tropes and watered down understanding of characters. Fanfics are rich and diverse and yeah canon compliant is great and i want more of it but the universe is so much wider and that's what makes it rich! Do some people write fanfic and also don't interact with or know canon? Sure, plenty of them. Does that fanfic reflect their opinion of canon? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. You don't know that. In the meantime, people are still creating extra content and enriching the fandom experience and if you don't like it, genuinely, the filter tags button is right there. That's not to say there are no racist or classist or sexist tropes in fanfics, but again that exists within the scope of that story. Bad writing exists in canon, and it exists in fanfics, and sometimes a story is canon compliant with a terrible message and sometimes a story is canon divergent with a terrible message and pushing away everyone who writes things that aren't canon compliant is not going to fix these issues in the dc fandom. Telling people to "not write the character at all if you're going to write them ooc" assumes your understanding of what is essential to the character is perfect and The Right Way to interact with a fandom and it's patronising and not only do you take the risk of looking like a moron the second you make a mistake, it is actual gatekeeping and the reason many people find getting into comics/fandom intimidating in the first place. (And it also shits on the potential of AUs like dark reflections, mafia etc. Of course Mafia Bruce who kills people is deeply ooc. These stories are still fun and it's not wrong to write them!)
"This story really should have addressed that thing that happens in canon" did it happen in the setting of the fic? No? Then shut up and let the fic tell its own story, it doesn't have to "address" anything it doesn't have space for. Again, don't like don't read is a thing. Fanfic enriches the fandom, it doesn't take away from it, but you know what can? Canon writing. I'm way more concerned with what dc is having batman represent nowadays than with fanfic I haven't read because I knew I wouldn't like it.
TLDR: It's understandable to be upset when people who don't interact with canon material at all try to assert their opinion on canon as the truth, especially if they call any attempt at disagreeing with the mischaracterization gatekeeping, but that doesn't make you immune to being a gatekeeper. Assuming you know a writer's knowledge and opinions on a character because of that one fic of them is naive and a misunderstanding of what fanfic is. Fanfic writers are still real people who give you cool stuff for free and you don't have to like it but you still have to be respectful about it, and all that negative energy you spend on rants about "bad character and" you've read in fanfics would be so much better spent on bad canon writing because these people do have the power to fuck your favourite character over and they do owe you canon compliance, and with the amount of effort some fanfic writers put into their fics compared to some of the writers who get payed to write canon, you guys could stand to be more respectful about fanfics.
#dc#dc comics#batfam#rant#batfam fanfiction#ao3 vent#to be clear i am fine#i get very little hate people in my comments are awesome and i rarely take tumblr posts personally#however i do get protective of other batfam writers when I see comments or posts I know are about the kind of things they write#because I know how much work gets into writing and if that was the feedback I felt for putting these stories into the world#i would feel so disgusted and discouraged from interacting with fandom/writing fanfic#anyway be nice with fanfic writers guys#they're doing it for free choosing to share with you you didn't pay for it it's not a product to consume#don't like don't read
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#really would be neat if i could be in a room with someone who's attracted to me#and not immediately have my body launch into a fear/disgust response#lmfao the thing i find least attractive in a potential partner is wanting me. actually.#i whine about being lonely and touch-starved but the reality is i COULD be in a relationship. i have not lacked for suitors#as my roommate put it. but how is one supposed to date if one begins to feel genuinely physically ill#and consumed with unceasing dread at the prospect of being desired?#or at least desired with any real possibility of those desires being acted upon.#god this would be so much easier if i didn't have this highly inconvenient desire to be loved
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random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently
#mar.txt#it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one#maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get#maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important.#maybe it's just the all-consuming,gaping hole of loneliness within me#idk.#i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it#feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction#a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro,but willing to be in a relationship provided the other#person isn't bothered by them being aro,bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings#i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the#only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of#actually caring#'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things#because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they#could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting)#and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends#the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to#me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance#i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad.#to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much.#i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's#most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love,yeah? ha.#maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships,#those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have.#anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the#burden of feeling such intense,suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly.#i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.
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oh girl what the fuck
#so....i have investigated to the best of my abilities and i am still thoroughly lost so thats that#but what?? literally so much transpired ok so firstly soobin flipped seunghan off with his toes like what....#SEUNGHAN WAS KICKED OUT OF RIIZE FOR SMOKING..... R U KIDDING ME LMFAO THATS SO?????#PLEASE he was doing normal dumb teenager things u should see the people in my college and literally every other college here#why do people drag any sort of celebrity for making normal human decisions#like yes it isn't good for you no shit it isn't but im sure he's mentally sane enough to know that#people who smoke are AWARE of the fact its not good for them trust me i have friends who are well aware#the consequences are on every single pack like they know#bro got kicked out for something literally millions of other people do like what kpoppies are insane and sm is stupid#secondly....i don't even know how to address the made in abyss scandal like it seems so messy what even#let me be so clear here if this allegations are true then i am absolutely disgusted and cannot even fathom what the fuck is happening#like woozi taeyong everyone what#but from what i have seen... and PLEASE DO NOT MISTAKE THIS AS ME DEFENDING ANYONE I AM SIMPLY STATING WHAT I HAVE SEEN ON TWITTER DOT COM#the copy that taeyong had of that manga was the censored version#does this help no not really but i don't really know enough about this situation i will look into it as much as i can i just have no TIME#ive also seen that all of them have been cleared??? so thats also something we should take into consideration i suppose#and the manga/anime is advertised as gore/horror etc ofc this does not excuse its contents literally what the fuck is that author on#but i have to state how entirely hypocritical it is to judge someone based off the media they consume because i know damn well#that a lot of people consume very fucked up content like dark fiction is a thing have yall seen the ya novels nowadays#that does not make the person who consumes it condone it...bc its fiction#at the end of the day these are men i dont trust them as delusional as i may portray myself on this hellsite#also i saw a tweet ab someone on twitter saying bc taeyong reads beserk and that is also a manga with incredibly dark themes he must be#fucked up#firstly a lot of manga/anime have dark themes but thats not the point#a LOT of people around the world have read that manga (im literally not talking ab taeyong here i promise)#literally people i know have#they KNOW how fucked up it is they dont recommend it to anyone and literally say read it at your own risk its fucked up#it does not mean they directly condone the shit that goes on in the manga they have quite the opposite stance actually#(beserk is also the nunber 1 rated manga of all time i know this my ex doesn't shut up ab it and neither does one of my best friends)#anyway i dont know much about this yet so i will look into it more; had no idea what was happening until five mins ago but literally wtf ma
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Not triggering just personal
I really need to vent about being asexual and sex repulsed but I feel like no one will understand and I get how a lot of the things I think will sound but I really just need to for once get these thoughts off my chest without having them being morally appraised because they *aren't* my morals, they're just things I can't change.
And I don't want people to TRY to change it either! Or to try to figure what ~hOrRiBle trAuMas~ could have possibly made me "this way". It's not that I think there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that this thing needs to stay neutral to me if I ever expect to actually understand it. I want people to stop morally appraising and physcoanalyzing my sexuality through the lense of inherent trauma!!
I just want to talk about this without feeling like I need to put a disclaimer before every sentence, explaining why I feel the way that I feel. I don't know ok! I don't know why I feel the way that I feel sometimes. I'm just doing my best and I wish more people would understand that. Maybe you don't get an explanation because this is my identity and doesn't need to be justified. I just want to understand myself.
#anyway that felt good#i hope this helps you guys understand in case i ever post some of the thoughts i was referring to here#i hope this helps you guys understand how big of a deal my asexuality actually is#its not just passively accepted#i have quite literally had to mask my asexuality MORE than my autism#i want to talk more about this but anytime i do at least one person is always there#suggesting im only asexual because of trauma or asking me what the fuck im talking about because i said something about being sex repulsed#or saying 'i used to be asexual too' -_- please just dont say this to me#im trying so hard to be a good person even when my deepest instincts go against some of my morals#i dont know if i can ever change those things either#i dont know whats worse#the idea that i need to be fixed somehow to better fit mine and everyone elses idea of a better and more likeable person#or the thought that this disgust is inherent to who i am and can never be changed#it hurts so much you dont understand#it hurts so much to think that rationally its good to accept people expressing their sexualities in healthy ways#but to be consumed by this contradictory instinct that make me recoil in disgust from even the people i love#it hurts and i just need someone to acknowledge that and that im trying and that it is difficult#and maybe even that its not my fault... though idk if id really go so far as to believe that#i wish i could've chosen to be anyone else sometimes
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well i finished the women (1936) by clare boothe luce. i did not like that as much as i was expecting.
#you wanna talk about how ppl act like all literature written by women is inherently feminist... brother#tales from diana#she has a genuine disgust for her own characters EXCEPT for mary. but choosing to get a divorce is still the greatest sin of her life#i love when im consuming 20th century entertainment and all the sudden i realize it's anti-divorce propaganda#the first act was alright but by the time i realized how it was going to end i was severely disappointed#it's not that i can't stand literature where basically all the characters are bad people. but the moral of the story is also bad#also boothe's stage directions were awful in how she described characters and scenes and just further illustrated how much she hated#the company of other women and thought she was so superior to all of them in her class basically.#all anyone ever told me about this story was that it had an all-female cast and i think a lot of boothe's storytelling methods#were really interesting in innovative in how she pulled that off.#but trust me. it does not pass the bechdel test lol#women are a bunch of catty gossips with no good judgment. men are cheating dogs and you should forgive them for it#even when they gallivant around town with their mistresses and go home and mistreat you. is what i learned from this play#a shame bc as far as her skill for dialogue and scene-setting it's really admirable.#but the soul of the play is rotten to the core. im so very let-down by this
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Something something if I had a nickel for every time I found out a beloved actor from the terror was also in a beloved film from my childhood in a shocking and alarmingly sudden manner I’d have two nickels… but it is REALLY FUCKING DISTURBING that it has happened twice
#cherry and I have concluded that the terror has made all those guys literally so indistinguishable from one another that you can’t even pick#them out in things you’ve seen a million fucking times AND have harped on about for some#bro I literally watched the secret garden 3 days ago. consumed MUCH fanfic for it in my teenage years#been screaming high and lo about the dilf lord in that. ONLY TO DISCOVER IT IS SWEET BOY BRIDGENS????#I’m disgusted#I’m going to shit and go to sleep I literally cannot take it#also ian ur still iconic to me I’m so sorry you have this association now#anyway#thomas blanky#john bridgens#ian hart#john lynch#the terror#and like!!!!! I HAVE A WELL KNOWN NACK FOR FACIAL RECOGNITION. RENOWNED#how could this happen to me????
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I wish I had the autonomy to find a home of my own... I'd rather not talk to anyone else of the household through the day out of work
I'm really tired of being treated like a ghost
#my family just keeps adding to the frustrating sensation of not being accounted for anything#whatever I say they either not listen and start sermonizing me over things unrelated they just assumed based on my first two words#or ask me about the day and proceed to not listen#or what little I can buy for myself they consume it and leave me without the specific stuff I had prepared#I'm terrible at hydrating myself since I hate the taste of water so I only drink certain things#and have a strict schedule of no teine past 5pm to avoid worsening my insomnia#I've been living on whatever non alcoholic drinks I can grab which is mostly milk or drinkable yogurt#it's frustrating how they have plenty of alcohol everywhere but drink the only things I can drink#I'm trying my best to leave aids for my brain to associate good things and they keep ruining my plans...#and god forbid I complain! I'm being dramatic if I do!#it's the last thing I needed on top of a coworker that thinks I'm just the stupid errand boy...#thank goodness I get my first paycheck the 25th or 26th... I'll be at least able to forbid my family to touch the stuff I buy for sure#and I'll save the tickets to back me up. I am tired of rationing the things only for them to take them all for themselves without asking#I'm not asking for much just NOT TOUCH THE 3 THINGS I ACTUALLY CONSUME!#tap water is disgusting af...#momochiiee mussings
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i just struggle to believe theres any ethical way to harvest meat. farm animal dying of old age? yeah. ok. sure. but farm animals aren't going to be perpetually dying of old age enough to fulfill the demand for their meats. you can make better and more convincing arguments to me for ethically harvesting eggs, wool and milk rather than meat.
#eggs? just supplement the chickens diet with more diverse foods to make up for the nutrients lost that they would otherwise have#if they were left to consume their own unfertile eggs#wool? well unfortunately we've already bred sheep to constantly grow wool so you kinda have to shear them for their own wellbeing#milk's a little harder to convince me w. but as long as you're not taking more than the calf needs then it should be generally ok.#the true crime however is how aurochs went extinct so that humans could benefit from them.#i don't think you can convince me that genetically altering animals for human benefit was ever a good idea. but we're here already.#so we gotta figure it out. i'm still disgusted about how we got here.#give me a convincing reason not to be. i do not marvel at the 'greatness and intellect of humanity' because all I see is people#using these animals as a means to an end. it feels the same to me as genetically altering dogs till they can hardly function.#wish people would just admit that this endeavor was done by the selfishness of humanity rather than try to fluff it up with#'well the animals can benefit too !!!' yeah but who benefits more and why do they deserve to benefit more#its fine to admit its done for self serving reasons. i'd respect you more if you did admit it.#humans do a lot of things for self serving reasons. the worst is when humans try to convince themselves thats Not the reason they#did something so blatantly self serving.#i think a lot of progressive types struggle to accept when they do things for self serving reasons. im not gonna pull a 'humans are#inherently selfish' on you but selfishness is very much a core part of being human and an animal in general. it's not what defines#us and it's not our only trait. we are a social species after all so it doesnt serve us to be purely selfish#but we do be being selfish still. we're not gonna be able to fully escape that behavior. you're not gonna be able to escape being#selfish by virtue of calling yourself progressive. it's impossible. just do your best to not be selfish but also dont deny when you are#honesty with yourself and what you're like is important. you're never going to be a pure perfect good moral person ever.#and convincing yourself all your actions are ones of Morality is Not the way you should go about ANYTHING ever#its why instead of letting yourself be kinda sad about an animal having to die to feed you you somehow try to convince yourself#that the animal wanted it or needed it or benefited somehow. it didn't. and thats ok to acknowledge. you're not an inhuman monster#for eating a dead animal. that doesn't mean it cant be sad. that doesn't mean you dont pay your respects. be sad it happened#and at the same time thankful for the animal feeding you. dont skip with glee about its sacrifice bc thats just fuckin.... weird...#a lil unhinged......... 'im so glad you're dying for me :)))))))' like.... girl what#not that you cant be happy to be fed just like.... dont sound like a serial killer about it in your inner monologue.............
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watching football through a leftist intersectional feminist lens is so painful i could write a sub stack essay about this
#at our point in society where u have to consume everything the eyes of intersectional feminism you lose so much joy in experiences#through the eyes **#in football you have to deal with the toxic male fan majority who do not care if you live or die#then you have the corrupt politics of fifa#then the individual footballer politics (& more specifically the ones heightened when global events occur)#i can’t even get into the violent abusers and rapists we have to watch enjoy their careers and get paid millions every month#despite the fact they are being investigating by police forces across the globe!#what else#oh maybe the lack of funding and support and even acknowledgment of the women’s game#or the absolute disgusting lack of funding in their medical departments and sciences#how about the violence male fans participate in?#even as far as murdering opposition fans…#female fans acting vile towards wags of course of course#very outright and open homophobia towards literally every sexuality see nobody is safe there …#and the racism which is so indescribable#and it’s everywhere#and this is all welcomed by the mega wealthy owners#because they don’t care about anyone#sometimes it’s very hard to enjoy ‘the beautiful game’#okay i think i’m done now
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#I'm fucking freaking out and crying and I need to went#I don't know what the fuck am i doing wrong but I gained one kg in three days#i haven't changed anything about my lifestyle#i don't want to have more than 48kg#i work out nealry two hours daily and try my best to consume less than 1000 calories a day#I don't know if I should start skipping meals and invest that time into more workout or what#i have never before gained so much weight so rapidly#and I know it's not my cycle this time#i fucking hate this stupid ugly disgusting body i have and my dysfunctional digestive system and dumb stomach and idiotic brain#all the fucking progress i made in one year is going to be gone#and it's hard to eat less when food is pretty much the only thing I look forward to during my day#I'm so fucking tired of me just fucking up constantly#few months ago i used to have stable weight of 46 and now I can't even keep up with that#I'm done I'm so fucking done with treating myself kindly#i don't fucking deserve that because I give myself a helping hand and I take it and destroy everything#fuck you fuck you fuck you#I'm so angry and so sad and so frustrated and I don't know what to do with myself#i want to beat myself up#i can never keep anything good with me#i don't know how to live with myself anymore I'm just so tired#okay that's all#bye
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"i dunno if i'd really benefit from medication for my clinically severe adhd," i say, before downing two cans of monster and then immediately cleaning my room for the first time in over a year and then folding all my laundry, which has sat unfolded in my laundry baskets for two weeks now
#text post#there was SO MUCH trash#like. a good twenty pounds of it#guys. guys my room was DISGUSTING#and now it's moderately nice#now all i have to do is take out all the recyclables#which there is WAY more of than trash#like SO many soda bottles#really makes me rethink how much soda i consume#rethinking my entire diet#i had NO idea how much fast food i ate until i took out a stack of mcdonald's cups the measured like four feet high#admittedly that's still like. one a week over a whole year but still#that's SO much sugar and other unhealthy soda chemicals that probably give you like. super cancer or whatever#but not only is my room finally clean but my brain feels clean too???#like normally i have about six to twelve thought trains going at once but right now it's only one thought at a time?
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SWEAR IT’S JUST RIGHT FOR YOU. | NANAMI. K
જ⁀➴ synopsis: when you and nanami are equally as obsessed with each other, it creates this perfect balance. you cook for him, and he treats your pussy like it’s a blessing.
જ⁀➴word count: 3,3k
જ⁀➴ c.w: pure filth with a bit of fluff, soft dom! nanami, he turns a bit rough towards the end, rough facefucking, cunnilingus + fingering, dirty talk + praise, riding, multiple orgasms + squirting.
When Nanami praises you, it’s soft, gentle and endearing. His rough palm gently collides with the soft skin of your jaw and his thumb traces your cheek. He is reminding you of how much you mean to him, how he would burn the entire world if it meant keeping you safe and protected. You are his fairy, his delicate girl whom he could never imagine even raising his voice at. When he scolds you, his voice is stern and filled with worry despite the displeased tone, his hand grabs at your shoulder not to hurt you, and you want to caress your thumb over his forehead and get him to stop furrowing his eyebrows so deeply.
“You’ll get wrinkles, Ken.” Your voice pulls him out of his displeased state for a moment, and Kento hears birds chirping outside of the window and the sunbeam caresses your skin—It hits your beautiful eyes and he takes in every detail; your eyebrows, the slight discoloration the bottom of your jaw, the mole that seems to bring out the beauty in you even more, your eyelashes that aren’t curled but naturally have a pretty shape to them and he heaves out a sigh. He is consumed by love wherever you are near.
Heaven knows how much the man craved domesticity. He found comfort in it—a routine, a promise that when he comes home, he gets to take off his brown shoes at the front door, put his keys in the small bowl that has a mirror hanging right above it. He would then look at his reflection in the mirror and look away immediately when he notices the sweat stains as he removes his jacket. He hears your footsteps as you rush out of the kitchen with a pretty apron around your waist. You made bread, and Nanami isn’t sure whether to be infatuated by the smell of it, or the smell of your hair that hits his nostrils as you wrap your arms around his waist.
He wouldn’t care that your hair is slightly damp, but he would breathe out how the tank top you were wearing was going to get you sick if you don’t watch out. And Kento cares a lot about your comfort, he respects you a lot, so when you hug his sweaty self, his hands would gently try to remove your arms from around him and protest that he was dirty.
“It’s all hard work, Ken. I like it.” To which he wouldn’t say much but give in and let you hold him. He understands that to an extent, having a natural smell like this was attractive, he’s always told you that he likes it when you come home complaining about sweating too much and all he says is that it makes you even more attractive. Your flushed cheeks, your hair sticking up in small antennas, your nose scrunching up at how disgusting it feels to have your shirt cling onto your skin—
“Can I join you in the shower?” Which always catches you off guard, but you accept of course and Nanami sets his book down, he removes his glass and folds them neatly on top of the book before following right behind you in the bathroom. You giggle nervously when you see him close the door and lock it before leaning against it, and you let out a small and timid ‘what?’ when he keeps eyeing with the same intense eyes.
“You are beautiful.” He never denies that he is looking at you—admiring you, but instead reminds you every time that nothing in the world can change his mind about his infatuation with you.
And somewhere in between that comforting thought of coming home to you, a show playing on TV in the living room, bread baking in the oven and the smell of a clean home—Nanami dreams of fucking you stupid on the couch. He wouldn’t remove your apron, he wouldn’t let you wash your hands off of the flour—he would simply drop his pants, push your shorts down and spread your legs only to find out that you weren’t wearing any panties.
He feels sick to his stomach at thought, sighs and rubs his forehead at the fact that he was imagining such dirty things to do with you. If it were a normal fantasy like coming home and fucking you on the bed, he wouldn’t feel that bad. But that was the thing about fantasies, they existed in our head without our control, and it was up to us to act out on them or not. Kento cherished you too much to scare you off with his oh-so-called sick and twisted fantasy of his.
He comes home after a long day at work, and it’s a few minutes past seven. The house isn’t quiet, there is a show playing in the background and that was the first thing that had Kento stop dead in his tracks. He chooses to brush it off and simply rids himself of his jacket and shoes, sets his keys on the bowl before the smell of bread hits his nostrils and his lips part in confusion.
Was he dreaming? Did he somehow astral project into another dimension where his fantasy was a reality? It only confuses him further when you come out of the kitchen wearing an apron—in this reality though, you’ve chosen to wear one of his shirts instead, and Nanami doesn’t know if it’s better or worse. He tries to hide it, the way he can feel his cock hardening in his pants as you approach him with his shirt, fuzzy socks and hands that had traces of flour on them.
“You’re home.” Is how you greet him, your cheek resting on his chest and melting against his body as you breathe in his scent, a constant reminder that you get to be greeted with this sight five times a week around the same time. You boyfriend’s hand travels up to the back of your head and his fingers comb through your hair as he hums a tired response.
“Did you miss me?” Obviously, is what you want to say. But instead, when you look up at him and notice his hooded eyes, you feel his other rest on the small of your back and your heart leaps in your chest. All of a sudden, you feel hot and you feel something poking at you and you’re just surprised.
It was normal for your boyfriend to have needs, you were used to the sexual frustration that comes with having such a stressful job—but normally, Kento would avoid initiating anything with you until he’s showered and made sure he was clean. For him to insinuate that he wanted you, and so loudly with those eyes—you could feel your panties getting ruined.
“Pretty girl,” he calls out for you again when he notices your silence and the hand resting on your waist holds your chin whilst the other firmly grabs your hair. “Did you miss me?” He asks again, stern and you nod. You missed him too much, you realize. Because the lack of conversation beside greeting him and telling him he’s home—all of it was intensifying the sexual tension. It was almost like your body was warning you that Kento wasn’t going to go easy on you this time and you felt jittery.
“I missed you, Kento. Did you miss me?” You say as your hands grab onto his blouse in fists. You bring him closer to you, and gasp when you feel his hand travel down to hold your neck. He isn’t trying to cut your air, but when you make eye contact with him and see that his face has darkened, you let out a small noise.
“Let me show you instead.”
On the couch, Nanami wastes no time to attach his lips to yours and kiss you breathless. He was such a good kisser, always so passionate, always making sure to tease the corner of your lips before biting nibbling here and there—and fuck, did he lose his mind every time you tried to suck on his tongue. He would just push you on your back and cage you between his strong arms.
Nanami feels like he is constantly losing his breath whenever you are near, but when you grab onto his forearms and moan, he goes feral. Suddenly, he is reminded of how much weaker you are compared to him—frail, delicate, soft and sensitive to his touch. He is lucky, he is blessed and he makes sure to spoil you and that pretty pussy.
His kisses trail all the way down from your neck to your collarbones, his takes a whiff of your perfume and hums.
“You smell so sweet,” he mumbles against your skin. Instead of removing your apron and shirt, he pushes them up to reveal the cute panties that you were wearing and his finger traces the wet patch that’s already formed.
“Kento,” you call out to your boyfriend breathless, desperate—as though you were on a deserted island and he was the water to quench your thirst. Your legs spread on instinct for the man to settle between them and you feel his hot breath right against your panties.
“But you smell even better here… Right here,” he says and he pushes your panties to the side to reveal the wet mess hiding behind the fabric. You prop yourself up a bit higher to be able to look at Nanami while he eats you out, and you blush when you notice that he’s already staring at you.
“Up.” He pats your ass and you lift up your hips to allow him to remove your panties for you, but instead of throwing them on the floor, you see him take a whiff of the fabric and sigh and your blush darkens.
“Can I keep these, my love?” He asks sweetly, voice so deep you felt like your pussy was embarrassing you with how wet it was and you mindlessly nod. “Is that so?” He knew you wouldn’t say no, but he still wanted to thank you for trusting him with his perverted intentions.
“You’re too good for me.” Is the last thing that you hear from him before he dives between your legs and fuck—he is too good. You know Nanami is good, you don’t doubt that he can make you cum as many times as he wants before reaching his own high, but something about him eating your pussy like a treat, enjoying every drop and sucking on your clit with the intention of making you lose your mind—that was too much.
You feel his lips wrap around your clit and he sucks before smothering his face in your pussy. His nose nudges at your clit while his tongue licks at your folds and you think that for a moment, maybe he is enjoying this more than you do. His hands grip your thighs to keep them in place, and when he notices that your legs are starting to shake and your hips are bucking up, he takes one look at you and his dick almost bursts.
Flushed chest, swollen lips and a fucked out face. If Nanami wasn’t already in love with your beauty, then he feels himself falling deeper for you. You fall apart on his tongue a couple of seconds later, he enjoys the way you gasp, moan and cry as he keeps his lips attached to your clit and you try to push his head away.
“Too much,” you gasp. “Kento!” you cry out when you feel his two fingers nudge at your folds and by this point, you are breathing too hard. You feel his thick finger prod at that one spongy spot almost immediately and your eyes roll to the back of your head.
He presses a hand to your stomach and praises are spilling from his lips like a chant, watching as your soul almost escaped your body with every thrust of his thick fingers perfectly against your spot.
“That’s right baby, you’re doing so good,” “this pussy takes me so well,” “you make me so proud, look at this pussy—fucking filthy,”
The mixture of praise and him losing his composure and cursing has you reaching your orgasm again faster than expected. But this time, you make a bit of a mess and you try to apologize for ruining the couch and his clothes but he is quick to shut you up with his lips.
“You’ve just squirted on me, and you want to apologize?” he mumbles against your cheek, fingers still buried inside you and you whine.
“I made a mess,” you try to reason with your beast of a boyfriend but he quickly retreats his fingers back and delivers a harsh smack to your pussy.
“It’s never been a problem when it’s our bed, has it?”
“Kento,” you call out softly when your boyfriend starts to kiss at your neck again. “Kento, fuck my mouth.” Nanami’s brain short circuits at this and the shock is evident on his features. He doesn’t have time to stop you or protest because you are quick to get off the couch and on your knees for him.
“You’ve been so good to me, keeping me satisfied and happy—I bet you want to fuck my mouth sometimes, don’t you?” Your hands are quickly unbuckling his belt. You don’t remove his pants completely, only enough to free his painfully hard cock from his boxers. Your hand wraps around the base of his cock and you watch as he throws his head back on the couch with each slow stroke.
“You don’t know what you are asking for,” is what he says as he tries to get you to back out of this, but you are determined to let him ruin your life. Him, the only man on this planet whom you would blindly trust with your life.
“I know what I am asking for.”
“I could hurt you,”
“I will tap your thigh if you do,” and then there’s a few moments of silence where Kento just stares deeply into your eyes. When you see him lean down towards you, your breath catches in your throat and your lips part in shock when his hand goes to the back of your head and the other one grips your jaw open.
“Open up.” And when you do, he rests the fat tip of his cock on your tongue. The pre-cum is a bit salty but you don’t say anything as you let Kento handle your mouth to his liking. He tells you to open up a bit more and breathe before he starts to thrust his dick in and out of your mouth at a slow pace.
You’re taking it well at first, but when you notice your boyfriend’s thighs shaking, indicating that he is holding back on you, you decide to take matters into your own hands. Quite literally.
Your hand wraps around the base of his cock and you push his dick down your throat, nose nuzzling against his pubes and he curses out loud.
“Fuck--!” You repeat the same motion over and over again, and by the third time, your boyfriend finally breaks and starts fucking your mouth like a starved man. Your knees burn, and so do your lungs—the couch is moving every time Kento brings your head back on his cock and you’ve braced yourself on his thighs for support.
“Sorry—fuck, I’m sorry baby,” he says between gritted teeth. However, when his eyes catch that you’re rubbing your swollen clit to the same rhythm of your head on his cock, something in him snaps.
He pushes you off of his cock, and any complaint you head is drowned out when he stands up and his cock stands proud. You look up at him from your spot on the floor and brace yourself on his thighs again when you feel him grab your face and push his cock inside your mouth.
“Filthy fucking girl,” he breathes out. “Can’t even let me be sweet to you—shit,” based on how difficult it is to even talk properly, you guess that he is close and so you sneak a hand between his legs and starts fondling with his balls—you squeeze them, and that’s when Nanami finally breaks and cums down your throat with a broken moan.
Even while trying to catch his breath, Nanami’s hands caress your face and neck as he takes a seat and pulls you closer to him. He then helps you get back up on your feet and pulls you on his lap to kiss you. He can taste himself on your tongue even after you’ve swallowed everything.
“Was I good?” You ask when he pulls away from your lips to kiss your cheek and down your neck once again, a pattern that he’s learned always turns you into putty.
“Perfect, my love. You are perfect for me.”
You are surprised at how fast he gets hard again, but you supposed it’s also because you were literally grinding your bare pussy against his dick. Your hands hold onto his shoulders for support as you try to slip his dick past your folds, but you let out a surprised noise when he easily lifts you up and aligns the tip of his cock with your pussy.
“Noticed that you like my arms a lot,” he says and you are obliged to stare at his forearms and good lord—the way they flex as they hold you above his cock, Nanami lets out an amused chuckle when he sees a string of arousal drip directly on top of his cock. “You do like them, huh?”
“Baby,” you whimper and Kento cannot find it in him to tease you any longer. He gently drops you down on his cock and he immediately gets to work. His hand rests on the small of your back and pushes you towards him to press your chest flush against his, his hands then grip your ass cheeks and he starts to slam you up and down on his cock with so much ease.
You sound like a mess. The combination of your boyfriend’s strong arms and the tip of his thick cock abusing your spot turns you into a blabbering mess on top of him.
“So good, so good—fuck, oh fuck,” sounded like music to his ears. Your whines your moans, your fucked out look and your eyes begging him to ruin you—Nanami was addicted to every part of you.
And it only takes a few more messy and sloppy thrusts from him and you cum around him with a loud cry.
“There you go,” he says breathlessly, feeling his own orgasm creeping up on him. “Make a mess on me, baby,”
You shake like a leaf on top of him, hands gripping onto his shirt for dear life and lips pressed against his neck.
“Think you can take a bit more for me? I’m really close, darling,”
“Hurry up,” you say desperately and as promised, Kento thrusts a few more times before he is cumming inside you with a loud groan. He buries his face in your neck, taking in your scent that has now been mixed with his own and a hint of sweat. He relaxes in your hold, hand tracing the small of your back as a way to get you to come down from your orgasm and perhaps even apologize for being a bit rough with you earlier.
All of his worries are brushed off when you pull away from him to press a kiss to his forehead, his nose then down to lips.
“I love you, Ken. I love you too much,” you announce, a hint of sleepiness to your voice and a smile finds its way to his face.
“I love you too, darling. I love you too much.”
2023 ; all works belong to @ slttygeto. do not repost my works on any other platofrm.
#moon's works#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#nanami kento#nanami smut#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#jjk nanami#jujutsu kaisen headcanon#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen headers#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami kento x reader smut#nanami x reader smut#nanami kento smut#nanami fluff#nanami imagine
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loves you. hates them.
Rich!boyfriend who really isn’t your boyfriend but more of an arranged husband. He’s sweet and all but you think he’s a bit overbearing for someone you just met.
Rich!boyfriend who demands your free time, disregarding how tired you may be from working. Rich!boyfriend who hates how much you work and provide for your family, he realizes how soft and spineless you are when time comes for you to speak up for yourself.
Rich!boyfriend who’s intoxicated by the way you smile at him and the small touches you give him to express your gratitude for the excessive gifts. The way your eyes light up when you see him won’t ever get old to him. Rich!boyfriend who see’s the potential in you, even if your mother tells him otherwise.
Rich!boyfriend who is immediately consumed by disinterest whenever your mother and father want to speak with him. They have so much to say and critic about your life, yet, they rely on their young daughter to get them out of their financial burdens.
Rich!boyfriend who notices the behavioral change in your sister every time he comes around. The way she perks up when he enters the room, the difference in the way she dresses when she knows she’s going to see him versus when she doesn’t know. Rich!boyfriend who is disgusted by this and is even more repulsed when she tries to make a move on him. This pushes him to increase your time at his home and decrease the time you spend at your house.
Manipulative!boyfriend who acts confused when you find your phone hidden away in his dresser drawer. Manipulative!boyfriend who forces you stay at his home for an extensive amount of time, convincing you that you are terribly sick from working so hard.
Manipulative!boyfriend who gives you a special type of medicine in your food so you stay sluggish and compliant. Manipulative!boyfriend who persuades you that the little white bottle he hides away is nothing and that you’re imagining things.
Rich!boyfriend who assures you that you’ll feel better by the time the wedding rolls around.
Crazy!boyfriend who effectively got your family out your ear by smashing your phone to pieces and warning them that if they ever talked to you again, he’d do worse than cause a little car crash.
Did he forget to tell you that?
Rich!boyfriend who lies assures you that he’ll find the people who T-boned your parents car.
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a/n: I think my requests inbox might be broken, directly message if it doesn't go through or don't. I don't know how it works.
#fanfiction#y/n#black fanfiction#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere scenerio#soft yandere#yandere male#yandere x darling#yandere oc x reader#male yandere x reader#male yandere#tw yandere#fem reader#black fem reader#yandere blurb#yandere insert
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