#now all i have to do is take out all the recyclables

[m-jelly]

Late night snack - Chapter 2

Vampire Levi x human reader

Trouble arrives for Levi and Erwin, so they must work with the police to stop some dark and twisted trading. You go shopping, meet a fan, take Levi home and it's loving time.

Ao3

Part 3

Levi pressed you against the wall, his lips never parting from yours. He should have left your place about an hour ago to help Erwin, but he just couldn’t let you go. The way your body curved against his, the heat of your body, the taste of you and your darling touch and voice was addictive to him. He was in a pure happy bubble, but he could hear someone walking closer and it annoyed him because he knew very well who was coming.

Erwin walked into your apartment and went up to your blood heater. “Afternoon.”

You pulled from Levi’s lips. “Mm, hi Erwin.”

“Afternoon.” Erwin and you had met two weeks ago and you just clicked. You became fast friends and you were helping him romance a cute thing down at the city hall. Erwin had some control over Levi’s power and strength, but you fully tamed him and Erwin appreciated it a lot. “I figured he would be with you.”

Levi slipped behind you and hugged you tightly. “I’m not leaving.”

“I need you for work.”

“I don’t want to leave.”

Erwin sighed. “Levi.”

Levi hid behind you a bit. “No.”

Erwin looked at you and said your name. “Could you have a word with him?”

You turned in Levi’s arms. “Sweet honey kitten.” You cupped his face. “Be a good boy and go with Erwin, okay?”

Levi pouted. “But you’ll be lonely without me.”

You wiggled his face. “I will be a bit lonely, but when you come back will be so exciting and fun. Think of all the kisses we’ll share when we reunite.”

He nodded as he processed what you said. “You’re right.”

“Plus, you’re off to be strong and brave.”

His eyes lit up. “Yes! I’m off to be very strong and brave.” He kissed you. “I’ll be back later, okay?”

You grinned. “Okay!”

Erwin cleaned up his bottle before recycling it. “If you’re that worried about her, I could always ask our friend Theodore to look after her.”

Levi pouted. “No.”

“What is your issue with him? He’s a good friend.” Erwin laughed. “Is it because he’s clumsy sometimes?”

You looked over at Erwin. “Who is this friend?”

“We have a few, but the one we’re talking about is Theodore.”

You heard Levi growl a little. “Well, I hope I can meet more of your friends.” You kissed Levi’s cheek. “Be safe.” You playfully bumped your fist against Erwin’s jaw. “You too.”

Erwin chuckled. “I’ll bring him back in one piece.”

You waved as both left your apartment. “Bye!”

Erwin walked with his hands in his pockets while Levi dragged his feet. “You have changed a lot.”

Levi pouted. “What do you mean?”

“You enjoyed it when you had to work, but now you pout and show a lot of emotions.” He paused by the car. “It’s a good thing.”

Levi climbed into the back and waited for Erwin to join him. “You think so?”

Erwin nodded. “I do.” He leaned forward and whispered to his driver before sitting back. “You two are good for each other. You bring out the best in each other.”

Levi smiled softly. “I think you’re right.” He tapped on his phone and texted you a bit. “So, what’s the job?”

“Now, I know we usually sort out vampires but the issue here is a human.”

Levi frowned. “Human? What?”

Erwin pulled his phone out and looked at the report. “This human is capturing vampires and bleeding them. He’s not become a vampire, he’s just using the blood to be stronger and heal up.” Erwin put his phone in his pocket. “He’s claiming he’s close to god.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “So, he’s pretending he is a prophet and achieving the lie by using vampire blood?”

“Yep.”

Levi clenched his fist tightly. “What the fuck are the police doing?”

“They called me.” Erwin looked over at Levi. “They said that we can have this. I was surprised that they called, but they weren’t sure how to handle this so it must be bad.”

Levi leaned his arms on his legs as he stared at the floor. He said your name with deep love. “I worry about her. If she knew how terrible things were, the things I’ve done, the things I do…she’ll…she’ll leave me.”

Erwin placed his hand on his dear friend’s shoulder. “She loves you more than you think. I know she’ll stay with you even after you’ve told her everything. Trust her, Levi.”

He nodded as he considered Erwin’s words. “You’re right. I trust in her and love her.” He climbed out of the car and glared at the high-rise building. “Tch, fucking businessmen.”

Erwin walked with Levi. “They’re the scum of the earth, especially the ones on wall street.” He paused by the door and saw a sign put up for vampires that said all are welcome. “Thank goodness for that sign.”

Levi stormed into the lobby and up to reception. “Erwin?”

Erwin leaned on the table. “Hello, miss, mind telling me what floor Mr White is on? I would really appreciate it.”

She blushed a little at seeing the two handsome vampires. “Top floor.”

He winked at her. “Thank you so much. Oh, and thank you for putting a sign up on the door.”

She nibbled her lip. “All are welcome here.”

Erwin chuckled. “What a lovely lady you are.”

Levi huffed. “We need to get going.”

Erwin walked with Levi. “Let’s race up the stairs. Shouldn’t take us long.”

The lady at the front desk gasped when the two men became blurred as they rushed off up the stairs. “Vampires are hot.”

Levi slammed the double doors open and stopped in front of Mr White’s desk. He saw Mr White flinch and drop a bottle causing blood to glug out onto the desk. “Mr White.”

He shoved his chair back, but Erwin grabbed the back of his office chair and trapped him. Mr White shook in his seat. “Mr Smith and Mr Ackerman! H-Hello.”

Erwin leaned over White’s shoulder. “Say, Mr White, that’s an interesting colour of drink you have for a human.”

“I-It’s a medical d-drink.”

“That so?”

Levi picked up the bottle and sniffed. “Vampire blood. Odd medical drink.”

Erwin hummed. “Interesting medicine, right Levi?”

Mr White laughed nervously. “I-it’s just medical!”

“Levi?”

Levi used his speed to act. He launched the chair across the room before grabbing Mr White’s neck and slamming him against the window causing it to crack. “Talk, Mr White, or I show you what happens to the human body when it falls from 40 floors down to a tarmac floor.”

Mr White sobbed. “Okay! Okay! It’s vampire blood.”

Erwin walked over and looked up at the scared businessman. “Where did you get the blood from?”

He nervously kept looking over to the same spot in his office. “I uh…it’s donated because I-I’m a prophet!”

Levi looked over at a painting of Mr White as Jesus. “You seem to really love that painting, huh?”

“N-No!”

“Erwin, you might want to take a look.” He flipped Mr White, crashed him into the marble floor before grabbing his ankle and dragging him. “Let’s have a look at what’s there.”

Mr White wheezed. “P-Please.”

The squeaking of Mr White’s sweaty body being pulled against the marble floor filled the room. Both the smart shoes of Levi and Erwin did join in, but Mr White’s sobs took over. All of them came to a stop in front of the large painting. Levi and Erwin weren’t religious, but this painting was making a mockery of those who did have faith.

Levi grunted. “It’s a door.”

Erwin grabbed the edge of the painting before ripping it off the wall to show a huge safe door. “I wonder what’s behind door number one. Levi?”

Levi handed Mr White’s leg over to Erwin. “Got it.” He walked up to the door, tapped his knuckles against it and hummed in thought. “Couple of feet thick.” He grabbed the handle and pulled a little causing it to groan loudly. “Easy.” He yanked the door off and held it above his head. “Where do you want this?”

Mr White screamed. “He’s a monster!”

Erwin pressed his foot against the man’s chest causing him to gasp. “Quiet.” He looked around. “Anywhere will do.”

Levi threw it to the side causing the marble floor to crack and splinter everywhere. He looked at the opening to see it was pitch black and something didn’t feel right. “Erwin?”

Erwin moved closer to the opening. “Something…it’s not right.”

Levi grabbed the back of Mr White’s neck and dragged him into the dark. “Tch, what the fuck do you have in here?” He banged his fist against the light switch making the room brighten up and reveal the horror inside. “Fuck.”

The room wasn’t large, but you didn’t need a big room to break people. Chained up by silver were four vampires, their wrists and ankles bleeding due to silver knives constantly pressing against them. Their eyes were just crusted puddles of silver that had clearly been poured into them. The smell inside was horrific which was unnatural for vampires. However, these vampires were not normal and appeared to be infected by bad blood. When a vampire’s blood becomes tainted they lose their minds and become mindless beasts. The vampire illness was long gone from the world, but this man had found a strain and some weak vampires.

“He’s bleeding them.”

Erwin leaned closer to a vampire and sniffed. “These vampires are practically dead.”

Levi shoved Mr White against a vampire’s oozing wound from the infection. “Tch, look what you’ve done, you shit! All these lives were ruined because of you!” He leaned towards Mr White’s ear. “Do you feel holy now?”

Erwin pulled back and took his phone out. He dialled the police captain and sighed. “Captain, I need a word with you. You were right, Mr White was bleeding vampires, but there is something very concerning here.” He looked over at Levi. “I’d get here before Levi kills Mr White.” He hummed as he listened. “Understood. Thank you.” He ended the call. “Levi? Try not to kill Mr White, the Captain is heading over here.”

Levi glanced over at his friend. “Can I break him?”

“Yes. Like I said, no killing.” Erwin put his hands in his pockets and watched as Levi covered the floor and wall in blood. The screams of Mr White were like music to his ears. He glanced at the vampires to see they weren’t reacting to human blood. “These vampires really are lost.”

Levi stopped beating Mr White for a bit. “No reaction. Tch, this fucker.”

“No. Killing.”

Levi shook a little as he tried to control his rage. “I just keep imagining it’s my bunny in there.”

Erwin patted Levi’s shoulder. “I understand.” He looked over at the entrance to the secret room to see the Captain enter. “Captain.”

The Captain looked around the room slowly as he tried to process everything. “What in the world?”

“I called you because there vampires here are almost mindless. He’s infected them with an old virus. We need to know where he got this and how.” He folded his arms. “Buying a virus is a bioterrorist act. If there was no virus, I would take care of this but you need to be involved.”

The Captain looked up at one of the vampires. “I would like to work with you on this. Having the support of your group would be appreciated.”

Erwin offered his hand. “You have our support.”

He shook Erwin’s hand before looking over at Levi. “Mind calling him off?”

“Levi? Let’s go home to your girlfriend.”

The Captain’s brow raised. “He has a girlfriend?”

Erwin nodded. “Yep and he’s madly in love with her, so it’s very useful in getting him to behave for me.”

Levi walked over to Erwin. “I need to clean before I see my bunny.”

“Use the bathroom here. I’ll finish chatting with the Captain.”

Levi bowed his head before hurrying past the police scaring them a little. He barged into the bathroom and cleaned himself up as panic started to set in. All Levi could think about was how his actions would terrify you. He strongly believed that you would hate him if you knew all the things he did. He didn’t want to lose you, he couldn’t lose you because you were the love of his life.

“Levi?” Erwin leaned in the doorway. “You’re spiralling. She loves you for you.”

Levi turned and faced his friend. “I just worry I’ll frighten her.”

“You two need to talk.”

Levi walked with Erwin. “What if she leaves me? I can’t live without her.”

Erwin chuckled. “You had a life before her.”

“It was a bad life. It’s better with her.” He whined a little. “I need her.”

You huffed as you looked between two bottles for Levi. Both would heat blood for him, but you didn’t know which one he’d like more. You pouted as you thought hard and then it clicked. “Ah! This one.” You decided to get him one with bunnies all over it and then hurried to the section with human thermal cups and grabbed one with black cats on.

“Batbunny?”

You gripped your basket as your hair stood on end. You loved meeting fans, but there were some mental and physical scars from some crazy fans. You slowly turned to see a woman smiling with a cute goth look. “H-Hello.”

She gasped and bounced a little. “I’m a fan. I love your streams and videos!”

You relaxed because the vibes you got from her were soft. “Thank you so much.”

“Are you releasing more merch soon? I’d love to get more. You make such cute things.”

You pulled a face as you thought. “I wasn’t thinking about it, but maybe? I did talk to the team and I was thinking maybe a witch bunny?”

“That’d be so cool!” She eyed your basket. “Sorry, I stopped you while shopping.”

“Oh, I don’t mind.”

She shifted a little on the spot. “Could I get a picture or something?”

You shifted close to her. “Mm.” You smiled with her as she took a selfie. “Do you want me to sign anything?”

She admired the picture before gasping in delight. “Really? That’d be so cool!” She fished around in her bag-shaped like a coffin and pulled out a little book. “Thank you.”

You signed your name and drew a little bunny. “How are things? How are you doing?”

She took the book back. “I’m doing better than I was. I reached a dark moment, but I’m fighting through it and having you there most nights just chatting and playing games…it really helped me.”

You welled up. “I know how you feel. Do you want a hug?”

“Y-Yes.”

You hugged her tightly. “You’re so brave, strong and amazing to be here in this life still. Keep fighting.” You pulled back and smiled. “You are loved.”

She smiled. “Yes.” She gasped as something clicked. “Oh, are you shopping for you and your new fella? Is he here?”

You hugged yourself. “He’s not here. I wish he was, but he’s been very busy with work.”

You were right, Levi had been incredibly busy and it was due to work. Levi made it very clear to you that he loved you and it wasn’t avoidance, he had something bad pop up. He had been honest with you and told you about the tainted blood, the virus and the sick vampires he’d found. Levi said he was going to tell you everything that was going on in his life and the things he did. All you needed to do was wait for him to come home and he was going to open up more.

She nodded. “I bet you miss him.”

“So much.” You let out a long sigh. “I hope to see him soon. I’m doing a shop for him right now.”

“He has very pretty tattoos.”

You nibbled your lip as you thought about Levi’s beautiful hands, muscular arms and the stunning tattoos on him. “He does.”

She blushed. “I should leave you be.” She looked behind you as her eyes widened. “Oh…oh wow. He’s…”

You turned around to see Levi walking around the shop looking like an angry guard dog. He spotted you and instantly lit up, he smiled softly and hurried over to you. You giggled at how he went from someone scary to someone wonderful. “Levi.”

Levi charged for you and ignored everyone around him. He tackled you into a hug and hummed in delight. “I missed you.”

You hugged Levi with one arm. “I missed you too.”

He pulled back a bit. “You hugged me with one arm.”

You showed him your basket. “I have a shopping basket.”

“But.”

You placed it down and hugged him tightly. “Mm.”

“Better.” He released you and noticed the goth girl. “Oh, hello.”

You petted Levi’s chest. “She’s a fan of mine.”

Levi picked up your basket. “Thank you for being a fan.”

She squealed in delight. “I can’t believe I’m meeting Leviathan. You two are just so perfect for each other.”

Levi pulled you against him. “Mine.”

“I better leave you both to it, I can imagine you have things to do.” She waved to you. “Bye Batbunny!”

You waved to her. “Bye-bye.”

Levi gripped your basket. “What you getting?”

“Secret.”

He pouted a bit. “Can I buy it for you?”

You shook your head. “No. I’m buying you things.”

“I don’t need anything, I need only you.”

You patted his cheek. “I understand, but I want to spoil you.” You held his sleeve and pulled him around the shop until you were done. “Close your eyes while I’m paying for everything, okay?”

Levi chuckled. “Okay, closing them.”

You paid for everything and patted his cheek. “All sorted.”

Levi opened his eyes and smiled. “I love looking at you.” Nuzzled his nose against yours. “Oh, I’ll carry that bag for you.” He held it and took your hand. “Let’s go home.”

You hummed a laugh as he showered your hand with kisses. “Levi?”

He blushed a little. “Forgive me. I’m just so happy.” He hummed and led you to a car. “I drove by car today, hope that’s okay? I know you love my bike.”

You hurried over to his black car and marvelled at its beauty. “This car is perfect,” you said. “It looks comfy.”

He opened the door for you. “Get comfy, okay?”

You slipped into your seat and wiggled into the spot. You waited for Levi to get in before speaking. “It’s very roomy.” You looked over at Levi and rubbed your thighs together. “You have tinted windows so people can’t see in.”

Levi tapped his thumbs against the wheel. “It’s a good car.”

“Room in the back too. Do these seats go back as well?”

“Yes.” He glanced over at you. “What are you getting at?”

You gripped your seatbelt. “I have some thoughts and some ideas.”

He chuckled. “Really? What kind of ideas?”

You massaged his thigh and moved your hand up slowly. “I want to do something for you.”

He gripped the wheel tightly. “I uh…what…what kind of thing?”

“Pull over somewhere private and I’ll show you.”

He turned his car. “We’ll go to yours as it’s close.”

You pouted a bit. “Okay.”

He parked in the little spot he had at your place. “I’m curious about what’s happening in your cute head.” He grabbed your bags and followed you into the lift. “You’re a fun little mystery.”

You giggled as you leaned against the lift wall. “A mystery only you can explore and solve.”

Levi growled a little as he eyed you. “Just the way I like it.”

You walked out of the lift and unlocked your door. “Come on, handsome. Follow the cute little bunny.”

Levi raced after you and tackled you into a hug. “Bunny.”

You wrapped your arms around him as you kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you always.”

You pulled him along to your sofa and sat him down. “Get comfy.”

He parted his legs and hummed as he watched you. “What are you planning?”

You ran your hands up his thighs slowly as you knelt. “You look so cute. You’re a man in control and confident, but as soon as I’m not shy you get all flustered.”

He gulped hard. “You just keep me on my toes so much.”

You undid the button on his trousers. “Levi?”

“Mm?”

You looked up at him through your lashes. “Can I uh…you know…suck your dick?”

He went bright red. “U-uh, y-yes. S-Sure.” He pulled at his shirt a bit. “Don’t f-force yourself though.”

“I asked for his. If it makes you comfortable I won’t.”

“I’m comfortable. I just.” He laughed nervously. “I mean…it’s you. I love you. I’m very attracted to you. I just…I don’t want to disappoint you.”

You leaned up and cupped his face. “I’ll love you no matter what. I’m sure you look and taste perfect. Besides, it’s okay if you don’t last as long as you want.”

He caressed your cheek. “If you let me touch you or eat you after.”

You giggled. “Deal, now sit back and relax.”

He watched you open his trousers and stare at his bulge. He grunted when you pushed your hand into his boxers and pulled his erection out. His hard length sprung out and tapped against his abs. Normally Levi was confident, but with the love of his life looking at his most intimate part, he was embarrassed. He turned his head to the side and whined a little.

Your eyes widened in awe at how beautiful he looked. He was thick, not too big with a cute pink tip. His shaft was a lovely smooth and light colour with a vein wrapped around it. “Levi.”

He placed his hand over his face. “Tch, I know it’s ugly.”

You touched his tip before running your finger down his shaft. “You’re so pretty.”

Levi moaned at your touch as a shiver ran through him. “S-So…mmm…” He peeked a bit. “R-Really?”

You massaged his length. “Mm, very pretty.” You leaned closer and kissed his tip. “Your skin is so soft too.” You titled your head and kissed his cock. “Hmm. Heavy too.”

“Y-you like it? You like me?”

You nodded as you licked your lips. “I love it.” You stuck your tongue out and ran it up his length causing him to sigh in delight. “Perfect.”

He relaxed against the sofa and closed his eyes as your tongue dragged over him like a cute little kitten. He pushed his fingers in his hair and hummed in delight. A shiver consumed him when you sank your mouth on him. Each hot inch of your mouth was incredible to him. He shifted his legs a little more and felt his body pulsing as you moved your head up and down on him. Each movement from you was electrifying.

He bit his hand a moment. “Fuck, how are you so good.” His fang pierced his hand a little causing his blood to run down it. “Such a hot cute mouth you have.”

He looked down at you and watched for a while as he began to lightly pant. He reached down and massaged his fingers in your hair. He smiled when you looked up at him and hummed against him. The vibration of your hum sent Levi into another world of pure euphoria. He ran his hand to your cheek and ear allowing him to caress you. He chuckled when you hummed a little and mewled against him, he knew you were seeking something from him.

Levi tucked your hair behind your ear. “Good girl.”

The purr of his words of praise was delicious to you. Something about Levi praising you like he did was addictive to hear, you wanted to listen to it for the rest of your life. You tried to take all of him, but it was too much. You pulled back and coughed a little as you felt embarrassed that you let him down, but you were wrong he wasn’t disappointed at all.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re doing wonderfully, my little bunny. You feel so good.”

You smiled at him. “Really?”

“Yes.” He pulled you up. “Come here.” He kissed you and sighed in contentment. “That’s my bunny.”

“Can I keep going?”

He nodded and let you move back down. “I’m all yours.”

Levi melted against the sofa as you bobbed your head up and down on him, your tongue caressing him in all the right places. He couldn’t control himself, the urge to cum was building up inside him. He gripped the sofa hard as he resisted the desire to buck. He panted as he felt his pleasure increase. His fangs began to tingle as his hunger for your blood increased. He clenched his jaw and growled.

He gasped when he felt his release. He moaned as his cock twitched in your mouth and filled it with cum. He grunted as you sucked and gulped every last drop. “Bunny.”

You popped your mouth from him and smiled. “Did I do-?”

Levi used his speed to slam you against the sofa before you could finish talking. His lips were on yours as he kissed you passionately. He pulled back from your lips, bit the crook of your neck hard and gulped down your blood. “Mm.”

You held Levi against you as you moaned. “Levi.”

He pulled back as his lips and fangs dripped with blood. He licked his lips and moaned your name. “You are a delicious little bunny.”

You felt your whole body heat up. “I-I am?”

He kissed down your body with blown pupils making his eyes look almost black. In one swift motion, he whipped your bottoms off. He admired your thick thighs as they pressed together. “Why are your legs closed?”

You whined a little. “Because I umm…”

Levi massaged the back of your legs as he lightly kissed your knee. “You’re perfect, sexy, cute and lovable.” He parted your legs and dragged his lips down between your legs. “And all mine.”

You cried out in bliss when he sucked on the inside of your thigh before biting down. He moved your legs over his shoulders and dove for your heat. You gasped as his hands plunged and pierced your pubic mound. He lapped up the blood before taking your clit into his mouth. He squeezed your thighs as he sucked and licked you over and over. Your body was on fire with pure pleasure.

Your thighs pressed against Levi’s head making him growl. Your toes squeezed in delight as euphoric bliss rushed through you. The way Levi’s tongue moved against you was such heavenly bliss, you’d never experienced anything like this before. Levi was pure perfection, and he seemed to just know your body and exactly what you needed. He knew how your body worked and what you craved.

You reached behind you and gripped the cushions. “Le-Levi.” You arched your back. “Oh, fuck, Levi.”

He squeezed your thigh as his tongue lovingly rolled against you. He purred sending a vibration through you. A pleasure-filled gasp came from you. Levi could sense everything about you through to your blood and it was music to his ears as he sensed you enjoying everything he was giving you. He could feel you were close and he could wait to taste your blood when you came hard.

You shifted under him. “A-Ah, I’m…mm.” You covered your mouth in embarrassment as you came hard. “Mm! F-fuck.”

Levi lapped at your pussy before crawling up the sofa. “Darling bunny, you are delicious.” He panted a bit. “I want to be inside you.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck. “I want it too.”

He shifted a little before pressing his tip into you. He pushed in all the way slowly so he could feel you stretch around him. “You feel incredible.”

You panted a little. “Mm, you’re perfect.”

He tangled his fingers in your hair as he rocked slowly against you, each drag and push of his hips moved his cock perfectly in your pussy. “I love you. I adore you. I need you.”

You dragged your nails across his back. “I will always need you, my love.”

He grabbed the arm of the sofa behind your head and pumped his hips a little faster. “I need your body to remember me, need me, desire me. I need your body to crave me and only be satisfied by me.”

You arched your back and grabbed Levi’s slender hips. “Y-Yes, Levi!”

He gripped the arm of the sofa more causing it to groan under his strength. “You’re mine, mine, all mine.”

Your eyes rolled back into your head as his thick warm member rammed itself in and out of you, each movement pressed against your g-spot and placed you in a constant state of pleasure. Words failed you as the man above you sang your praise and worshipped your body. You were at the pure mercy of a blood-drinking beast above you and you loved it. There was no going back after being with his man, he was perfection personified.

Levi dove for your neck and peppered loving kisses on your skin. He couldn’t help but smirk when you whimpered and lifted your neck closer to his lips like you were asking for a bite. He panted and sighed against your skin and ear setting your nerves ablaze with bliss. Teasing you was another delicious meal within itself, but deeply teasing you would have to wait for another time.

Your toes squeezed tighter. “Le-Levi.” The desire to be bitten was consuming you. “Please.”

He parted his lips before latching down on you. The cry of delight coming from you was enough to make him rut against you in an animalistic way. Such a beautiful creature you were below him and he couldn’t wait to make love to you all night. He had yet to inform you that a vampire’s stamina, especially a pureblood, was unmatched and almost unending. You were in for a long night.

He moaned against you as your blood pumped into his mouth was sweet, which meant you were cumming and you were cumming hard. He smiled when you screamed out and shook below him. He pressed himself against you as you bucked and spasmed in bliss. He released your neck, cut his tongue and then licked the wound making it heal.

You panted softly as your body tingled all over. You weakly caressed Levi’s cheek as he licked his kissable lips. “Mm, that…you’re…”

He turned his head and kissed your hand. “Darling bunny, you are in for a long, long night. Vampires have impressive stamina.” He leaned closer to you as you gasped. “I’m going to get you cumming all night long before I stuff your pretty pussy with my cum.”

You squeaked in delight. “Levi.”

“Don’t worry, I can only impregnate a vampire. So, you are safe for now and get your pussy filled with plenty of cum.” He knelt up and massaged your pelvis right where his cock was buried making you mewl. “But when I turn you, I’ll breed you like the good little bunny you are.” He eyed you. “Would you like that?”

You nodded as pleasure throbbed inside you. “Fill me with all your cum, Levi. I want to always be filled with it. I want it all. Stuff me with it so that it almost leaks out. When you turn me, breed me good. I’ll give you the best little babies.”

Levi blushed hard. “They’ll be adorable.”

You giggled as you linked your arms around his neck. “What a cute dom you are.”

[heartsmourne]

"i dunno if i'd really benefit from medication for my clinically severe adhd," i say, before downing two cans of monster and then immediately cleaning my room for the first time in over a year and then folding all my laundry, which has sat unfolded in my laundry baskets for two weeks now

[governmentmandatedryujinstan420]

I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[grimmweepers]

life comes at you so fast

[cozylittleartblog]

I want to buy a sticker from your shop, but shipping (to Canada) is down as $22 before tax. May I ask why it costs so much to ship a single sticker? Is it Etsy being weird, or does it really cost that much to send an envelope over the border?

I'm not trying to be snarky or passive aggressive or anything, I'm genuinely just kind of befuddled atm.

A fair question honestly! USPS sets the rates for international shipping, and shipping to canada really is about that expensive 😭 I considered sending stickers via envelopes, but 1. if I send them with a stamp (less than $2) they don't have tracking, and etsy Does Not Like That. I gotta send packages with shipping to qualify for star seller, plus it covers your ass in case USPS loses it. and 2. apparently it's illegal to send merchandise internationally in envelopes!! so sadly we're all stuck dealing with the super crazy international rates. I don't like it either because as someone who deals in trinkets, people generally do not want to pay $16 for a charm that costs $12, and they especially don't want to pay that for a sticker that costs $4... I would ABSOLUTELY have way more international sales if USPS wasn't fucking us with the prices but it's out of my control dssdjkfjksdf

I give this advice a lot, but if you don't want to pay international shipping (or just live in a country I don't ship to myself), you can borrow the address of a friend that lives in the states and they can forward it to you! I don't actually know if this is cheaper, but some people have said it is. it's def cheaper for stickers though if your friend uses a stamp!

TL;DR yeah etsy and USPS are Both Weird, sorry ; - ; i assure you i hate it even More than you do lmao

[13eyond13]

wait your beatles era is over? it was so fun eventhough i follow for death note content it just made my day seeing you enjoying something so much! :]

Awww no well it's not OVER over, as in I still really like them and will retain everything I learned about them during the last 3 or 4 months and still follow a lil handful of my fave Beatles blogs on here. It's just over as in I don't feel the need to fill my dash with literally hundreds of Beatles blogs or finish reading every giant biographer's tome I started reading about them anymore or wtv. And obvs you can always chat to me about them and still see me occasionally post about them! But thank you for saying so anyways haha

[solradguy]

Sol Badguy became a parasite in my brain when he made a bunch of stupid analogies that didn't make any sense that everyone else was too polite to ask for clarification on because I do that too. My brain will make a comparison that makes sense to no one else but me and I have to file an executive order to keep it from coming out of my mouth before I come up with something that's actually coherent first

[yuridovewing]

the conflict i feel between just doing my own unique nextgen au for yuriverse or keeping the same general cast and just doing some parent swaps (which im already doing for spark and alder)

[altruistic-meme]

learning new skills is FUN. (<- actively banging head on table)

[indigo]

living with other people really fucking sucks sometimes

[mildmayfoxe]

i never posted about my follow up re: my boss hole-punching all my journal papers but: it went bad. lol. i brought it up & she immediately started deflecting & acting attacked, telling me she hurt herself punching the holes in the paper & that she didn’t have time to cut me more paper (i never asked for this. for the record. i was ready to laugh it off & let it go & come to a mutual agreement about where my paper should go in the future. like a reasonable adult). and then she canceled the wholesale order for the journals i was supposed to make & SULKED for the rest of the day. and THEN she removed the journals from the wholesale shop entirely. because of my audacity to be like “haha hey i think you punched all my paper by accident :)”

[dreamofbecoming]

i have an unhinged neighbor who hates me and watches my door for me to take out my trash so she can dig through it and dump whatever she doesn’t approve of back on my doorstep, which last time was accompanied by a threatening note taped to my door, which has given me quite a lot of (i feel) reasonable anxiety regarding taking my trash out? anyway i’ve been letting garbage pile up in my room so i don’t inconvenience my roommates (she doesn’t seem to mind the general apartment waste, it’s mainly my shit she doesn’t like because i’m disabled and throw away a lot of nutritional shake cartons that are made of cardboard but not technically recyclable, and she thinks i’m being “lazy” and that’s somehow her business) and bc lack of spoons, and i keep meaning to bag it all up at once and dump it on the curb late at night right before pickup day, so she doesn’t have time to snoop, but i’ve been having a bunch of bad days and i keep missing pickup day but!! today i finally bagged up the worst of it and while i can’t take it out until tomorrow night bc pickup was this morning and they won’t come back til wednesday, i feel like a fucking superhero

[prettyboysmlm]

hahaha

[asgardian--angels]

Planet's Fucked: What Can You Do To Help? (Long Post)

Since nobody is talking about the existential threat to the climate and the environment a second Trump term/Republican government control will cause, which to me supersedes literally every other issue, I wanted to just say my two cents, and some things you can do to help. I am a conservation biologist, whose field was hit substantially by the first Trump presidency. I study wild bees, birds, and plants.

In case anyone forgot what he did last time, he gagged scientists' ability to talk about climate change, he tried zeroing budgets for agencies like the NOAA, he attempted to gut protections in the Endangered Species Act (mainly by redefining 'take' in a way that would allow corporations to destroy habitat of imperiled species with no ramifications), he tried to do the same for the Migratory Bird Treaty Act (the law that offers official protection for native non-game birds), he sought to expand oil and coal extraction from federal protected lands, he shrunk the size of multiple national preserves, HE PULLED US OUT OF THE PARIS CLIMATE AGREEMENT, and more.

We are at a crucial tipping point in being able to slow the pace of climate change, where we decide what emissions scenario we will operate at, with existential consequences for both the environment and people. We are also in the middle of the Sixth Mass Extinction, with the rate of species extinctions far surpassing background rates due completely to human actions. What we do now will determine the fate of the environment for hundreds or thousands of years - from our ability to grow key food crops (goodbye corn belt! I hated you anyway but), to the pressure on coastal communities that will face the brunt of sea level rise and intensifying extreme weather events, to desertification, ocean acidification, wildfires, melting permafrost (yay, outbreaks of deadly frozen viruses!), and a breaking down of ecosystems and ecosystem services due to continued habitat loss and species declines, especially insect declines. The fact that the environment is clearly a low priority issue despite the very real existential threat to so many people, is beyond my ability to understand. I do partly blame the public education system for offering no mandatory environmental science curriculum or any at all in most places. What it means is that it will take the support of everyone who does care to make any amount of difference in this steeply uphill battle.

There are not enough environmental scientists to solve these issues, not if public support is not on our side and the majority of the general public is either uninformed or actively hostile towards climate science (or any conservation science).

So what can you, my fellow Americans, do to help mitigate and minimize the inevitable damage that lay ahead?

I'm not going to tell you to recycle more or take shorter showers. I'll be honest, that stuff is a drop in the bucket. What does matter on the individual level is restoring and protecting habitat, reducing threats to at-risk species, reducing pesticide use, improving agricultural practices, and pushing for policy changes. Restoring CONNECTIVITY to our landscape - corridors of contiguous habitat - will make all the difference for wildlife to be able to survive a changing climate and continued human population expansion.

**Caveat that I work in the northeast with pollinators and birds so I cannot provide specific organizations for some topics, including climate change focused NGOs. Scientists on tumblr who specialize in other fields, please add your own recommended resources. **

We need two things: FUNDING and MANPOWER.

You may surprised to find that an insane amount of conservation work is carried out by volunteers. We don't ever have the funds to pay most of the people who want to help. If you really really care, consider going into a conservation-related field as a career. It's rewarding, passionate work.

At the national level, please support:

The Nature Conservancy

Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation

Cornell Lab of Ornithology (including eBird)

National Audubon Society

Federal Duck Stamps (you don't need to be a hunter to buy one!)

These first four work to acquire and restore critical habitat, change environmental policy, and educate the public. There is almost certainly a Nature Conservancy-owned property within driving distance of you. Xerces plays a very large role in pollinator conservation, including sustainable agriculture, native bee monitoring programs, and the Bee City/Bee Campus USA programs. The Lab of O is one of the world's leaders in bird research and conservation. Audubon focuses on bird conservation. You can get annual memberships to these organizations and receive cool swag and/or a subscription to their publications which are well worth it. You can also volunteer your time; we need thousands of volunteers to do everything from conducting wildlife surveys, invasive species removal, providing outreach programming, managing habitat/clearing trails, planting trees, you name it. Federal Duck Stamps are the major revenue for wetland conservation; hunters need to buy them to hunt waterfowl but anyone can get them to collect!

THERE ARE DEFINITELY MORE, but these are a start.

Additionally, any federal or local organizations that seek to provide support and relief to those affected by hurricanes, sea level rise, any form of coastal climate change...

At the regional level:

These are a list of topics that affect major regions of the United States. Since I do not work in most of these areas I don't feel confident recommending specific organizations, but please seek resources relating to these as they are likely major conservation issues near you.

PRAIRIE CONSERVATION & PRAIRIE POTHOLE WETLANDS

DRYING OF THE COLORADO RIVER (good overview video linked)

PROTECTION OF ESTUARIES AND SALTMARSH, ESPECIALLY IN THE DELAWARE BAY AND LONG ISLAND (and mangroves further south, everglades etc; this includes restoring LIVING SHORELINES instead of concrete storm walls; also check out the likely-soon extinction of saltmarsh sparrows)

UNDAMMING MAJOR RIVERS (not just the Colorado; restoring salmon runs, restoring historic floodplains)

NATIVE POLLINATOR DECLINES (NOT honeybees. for fuck's sake. honeybees are non-native domesticated animals. don't you DARE get honeybee hives to 'save the bees')

WILDLIFE ALONG THE SOUTHERN BORDER (support the Mission Butterfly Center!)

INVASIVE PLANT AND ANIMAL SPECIES (this is everywhere but the specifics will differ regionally, dear lord please help Hawaii)

LOSS OF WETLANDS NATIONWIDE (some states have lost over 90% of their wetlands, I'm looking at you California, Ohio, Illinois)

INDUSTRIAL AGRICULTURE, esp in the CORN BELT and CALIFORNIA - this is an issue much bigger than each of us, but we can work incrementally to promote sustainable practices and create habitat in farmland-dominated areas. Support small, local farms, especially those that use soil regenerative practices, no-till agriculture, no pesticides/Integrated Pest Management/no neonicotinoids/at least non-persistent pesticides. We need more farmers enrolling in NRCS programs to put farmland in temporary or permanent wetland easements, or to rent the land for a 30-year solar farm cycle. We've lost over 99% of our prairies to corn and soybeans. Let's not make it 100%.

INDIGENOUS LAND-BACK EFFORTS/INDIGENOUS LAND MANAGEMENT/TEK (adding this because there have been increasing efforts not just for reparations but to also allow indigenous communities to steward and manage lands either fully independently or alongside western science, and it would have great benefits for both people and the land; I know others on here could speak much more on this. Please platform indigenous voices)

HARMFUL ALGAL BLOOMS (get your neighbors to stop dumping fertilizers on their lawn next to lakes, reduce agricultural runoff)

OCEAN PLASTIC (it's not straws, it's mostly commercial fishing line/trawling equipment and microplastics)

A lot of these are interconnected. And of course not a complete list.

At the state and local level:

You probably have the most power to make change at the local level!

Support or volunteer at your local nature centers, local/state land conservancy non-profits (find out who owns&manages the preserves you like to hike at!), state fish & game dept/non-game program, local Audubon chapters (they do a LOT). Participate in a Christmas Bird Count!

Join local garden clubs, which install and maintain town plantings - encourage them to use NATIVE plants. Join a community garden!

Get your college campus or city/town certified in the Bee Campus USA/Bee City USA programs from the Xerces Society

Check out your state's official plant nursery, forest society, natural heritage program, anything that you could become a member of, get plants from, or volunteer at.

Volunteer to be part of your town's conservation commission, which makes decisions about land management and funding

Attend classes or volunteer with your land grant university's cooperative extension (including master gardener programs)

Literally any volunteer effort aimed at improving the local environment, whether that's picking up litter, pulling invasive plants, installing a local garden, planting trees in a city park, ANYTHING. make a positive change in your own sphere. learn the local issues affecting your nearby ecosystems. I guarantee some lake or river nearby is polluted

MAKE HABITAT IN YOUR COMMUNITY. Biggest thing you can do. Use plants native to your area in your yard or garden. Ditch your lawn. Don't use pesticides (including mosquito spraying, tick spraying, Roundup, etc). Don't use fertilizers that will run off into drinking water. Leave the leaves in your yard. Get your school/college to plant native gardens. Plant native trees (most trees planted in yards are not native). Remove invasive plants in your yard.

On this last point, HERE ARE EASY ONLINE RESOURCES TO FIND NATIVE PLANTS and LEARN ABOUT NATIVE GARDENING:

Xerces Society Pollinator Conservation Resource Center

Pollinator Pathway

Audubon Native Plant Finder

Homegrown National Park (and Doug Tallamy's other books)

National Wildlife Federation Native Plant Finder (clunky but somewhat helpful)

Heather Holm (for prairie/midwest/northeast)

MonarchGard w/ Benjamin Vogt (for prairie/midwest)

Native Plant Trust (northeast & mid-atlantic)

Grow Native Massachusetts (northeast)

Habitat Gardening in Central New York (northeast)

There are many more - I'm not familiar with resources for western states. Print books are your biggest friend. Happy to provide a list of those.

Lastly, you can help scientists monitor species using citizen science. Contribute to iNaturalist, eBird, Bumblebee Watch, or any number of more geographically or taxonomically targeted programs (for instance, our state has a butterfly census carried out by citizen volunteers).

In short? Get curious, get educated, get involved. Notice your local nature, find out how it's threatened, and find out who's working to protect it that you can help with. The health of the planet, including our resilience to climate change, is determined by small local efforts to maintain and restore habitat. That is how we survive this. When government funding won't come, when we're beat back at every turn trying to get policy changed, it comes down to each individual person creating a safe refuge for nature.

Thanks for reading this far. Please feel free to add your own credible resources and organizations.

[sunderwight]

Modern AU where Shen Yuan accidentally sugar-daddies everyone.

So for the purposes of this, Shen Yuan's family is basically $10 Bananas levels of cluelessly rich. Shen Yuan has almost never had to look at the prices of anything he wants. He and his siblings all get an allowance from the family's main account, which increases when they reach adulthood, and in the interest of fairness his parents made it all the same size. So Shen Yuan gets the same amount of money for his daily living expenses as his older brothers with their penthouse apartments and vacation homes and private jets, at least from the family account (since he doesn't work, he doesn't actually make as much as them in total because they earn more on top of their allowances).

And the thing is, Shen Yuan genuinely just lives a lot more humbly. He likes people but what would he do with a vacation house? Anything really nice would probably require him to fly to get out there, and he gets sick as hell on planes. Living in the central city is also not great for him, because the air pollution is so bad. Having a whole house to himself would also be ridiculous. So he has a reasonable apartment, in a reasonable area, and he splurges every so often on purchases that make him happy and take-out food that he likes, and of course he pays a cleaning service to come in twice a week. Most people assume he's comfortably middle class and has some tech job he does from home, but he's been getting a lot more than he's been spending in his monthly allowances for years now, and the figures are big.

Enter into this environment author Airplane and his trash novels. Novels, multiple, because in this AU there's no PIDW, and instead after some alternate PIDW prototype got popular in the harem genre, Airplane decided to churn out a series of copy-paste shorter stories rather than recycling the same subplots in one massively long epic.

Shen Yuan of course discovers Airplane's writing and becomes as obsessed with it as ever, except this time he notices that if there are delays between new stories, they seem to clear up faster whenever he throws some cash at the problem. And also that the drops in Airplane's writing quality coincide with times when Shen Yuan was having health issues and not keeping up with his VIP purchases. So, he works out that Airplane's probably doing the writing for the money, and that when Peerless Cucumber isn't paying the most for it, Airplane starts listening to the other buffoons in the comment section more to try and entice them to pay his bills instead.

Peerless Cucumber leaves a comment on one of Airplane's latest stories that kicks off the two of them actually chatting, and Shen Yuan eventually gets to the point of offering to fund all Airplane's writing, in exchange for Airplane not doing his crap sellout stuff to appeal to other readers anymore. Airplane thinks he's joking or maybe mocking him. Shen Yuan asks how much it would cost. Airplane fires off a ridiculous number. Shen Yuan doesn't even blink and wires him the first payment. Then he gets annoyed because Airplane leaves him on read for a while, but that's because Airplane is staring at his account balance in shock.

Of course, it's Airplane who starts referring to Peerless Cucumber as his sugar daddy. Shen Yuan is just like "based on your sex scenes I don't think anyone would pay you for that" and Airplane's all "but you WOULD pay for my sex scenes ^_~" and Shen Yuan's like "technically I am actually paying you not to write that shit" and so on. Usual banter. The quality of Airplane's writing improves dramatically, a lot of his readership drops off but he does get new readers and gradually builds up an even bigger fanbase than before, and so on, it all goes pretty well. He eventually writes a few things that take off to the point of getting physical publications and international translations. Technically Airplane no longer needs Shen Yuan to pay all of his bills by that point but he's not going to tell Shen Yuan that! The contract's still good as long as he keeps writing!

Then one of Airplane's online acquaintances runs into some financial trouble and asks for help.

Liu Mingyan used to beta read for Airplane back when he wrote fanfiction (she was like thirteen, Airplane was unaware because internet and hey free beta), and it seems her family has hit a rough patch. She wants tips on how to go pro, but Airplane explains that it was extremely difficult and he mostly lucked out by finding a single wealthy backer. Mingyan wonders if the same guy would be interested in her writing, Airplane sadly thinks not because Mingyan exclusively writes kinky danmei erotica and Peerless Cucumber seems pretty firmly in the closet still and also generally prefers plotty and world-building heavy stuff.

But like, Airplane has definitely gotten a vibe off of Cucumber-bro, and Mingyan's gorgeous older brother does video streams of himself doing cool martial arts and swordsmanship stuff. So he asks her permission and when she gives it, he recommends Liu Qingge's videos to Shen Yuan, being sure to mention that the guy in question can't really afford to keep up with his hobbies and oh what a shame it would be if he had to stop making art like that.

Haha, Airplane, you're not subtle.

Even so, Shen Yuan watches the videos and immediately agrees that Liu Qingge is beauty in motion, and that it would be criminal to deprive the world of more videos of his sword. Swordsmanship! That is the, the art of, martial arts! Definitely. He clicks the donate button, reasoning out that he'll just send a donation about the size of his usual monthly payments to Airplane and call it his good deed for the day.

Liu Qingge is very confused by this new follower from nowhere who suddenly dumped a little over a month's rent into his account. One thing leads to another, with Mingyan and Airplane conspiring to try and get Shen Yuan as a permanent patron, and then Liu Qingge being let in on it. Except that Airplane keeps referring to Shen Yuan as his sugar daddy, and well... it's not like Liu Qingge doesn't ever get 'those' kinds of comments on his videos. At first he's embarrassed, then offended, then mortified that his own younger sister is apparently setting him up to make premium private videos for what he assumes is some old pervert who is going to want him to do untoward things.

However, their options are pretty bleak at the moment, and Liu Qingge worries that if he doesn't do this then Mingyan might. She even mentions something to the effect of having planned to offer herself, and only didn't because she wasn't this "sugar daddy" guy's type!

Teeth clenched, Liu Qingge asks Airplane stiltedly for advice on how to... appeal, to this wealthy benefactor.

In the end though it's not nearly as bad as Liu Qingge feared. He winds up doing more videos in costumes and cosplay, which ought to have been an untenable expense, but Peerless Cucumber always ends up covering the cost of whatever he invests in plus extra. Sometimes he sends Liu Qingge stuff with a request to wear it, but so far it's just been like, badass warrior-themed or historical costumes. Nothing overtly pervy. He does some LARPing, he makes enough to start doing horseback archery again, convinces some of his good-looking peers from various clubs to spar with him, and ultimately the most risque videos he ends up doing are the ones where he demonstrates how to put on certain kinds of gear. He still locks those ones behind paid subscribers only, mostly because he feels like he's doing something illicit now, even if he used to show more skin on his older videos any time he took his shirt off.

Peerless Cucumber doesn't leave creepy comments, either. In fact he seems genuinely nice and supportive, it's hard not to like him, and so even once his situation levels out Liu Qingge decides there's not really much need to stop making videos for him. (He maybe even gets a little giddy thrill over... well, sometimes he finds it all a bit... just when he thinks about Peerless Cucumber watching him demonstrate his physical prowess and finding that alone worth... ANYWAY--)

So that goes on for a while, before Yue Qi enters the scene.

Yue Qi is the childhood friend of one of Shen Yuan's older brothers (Shen bros!) and Shen Jiu owes him a big favor for something that he won't talk about. At least he won't talk to Shen Yuan about it. But Yue Qi is also not the type to ask for help, and Shen Jiu is very bad at offering it, so when Shen Jiu gets word that Yue Qi is having some difficulties making ends meet, he tells Shen Yuan to act as the middle man. Go offer Qi-ge money, he knows you're nice he'll just accept it, and then Shen Jiu will pay the actual bill.

Well it turns out that Yue Qi doesn't just accept it, of course he sees right through it, and gently but firmly tells Shen Yuan that he's not interested in burdening Shen Jiu further than he already has. Etc, etc, stoic stiff upper lips and no proper communication all around. Shen Yuan panics because it's not working and he's also genuinely worried about Yue Qi by now, so he tries to figure out how to make it compelling and basically blurts that, well, see, the thing is that sometimes he pays men to entertain him. You know. To like. Do things, for him. So. He could also pay Yue Qi? To do something for him?

Yue Qi gets the wrong idea entirely, and at first is like, oh, no, A'Yuan, you shouldn't be paying people for that! These things should just happen organically! But Shen Yuan is very adamant that he believes in compensating people for what they do for him, it's not like he can't afford to, and it gets awkward but Yue Qi is like well he does have health problems. It's perhaps difficult for him to meet people. So then he starts worrying about Shen Yuan and all these strange men he's apparently paying for "entertainment". Does his brother know about this?

No of course Shen Jiu doesn't know! He'd hate it, and Shen Yuan doesn't want to hear about how he's doing everything wrong with his life again!

Then Shen Yuan mentions that his prior house cleaning service up and quit on him (they didn't), and if Yue Qi would like to earn fair compensation he could just come over sometimes to help instead, and Shen Yuan would pay him just to tidy up and hang out for a few hours! Which Yue Qi thinks is a fantastic idea, actually, even if Shen Yuan is only doing this because of his brother, this will give Yue Qi a chance to keep an eye on him and his so-called entertainers. Even if he sort of... ends up also being one?

Shen Yuan keeps everything above board, though his apartment always seems perfectly clean and he overpays way too much (Shen Jiu is still footing this bill after all), and Yue Qi starts to think maybe he actually is being paid for intimacy. Of a sort that they're maybe still working up to? Shen Yuan usually has a very thin face after all. He's kind of got two minds about this prospect. On the one hand, he's got his situationship with Shen Jiu, so dating his brother would be absurd. But on the other hand, it's not actually dating, and he does like Shen Yuan, and maybe if they can be good company for each other then Yue Qi won't feel so depressed and Shen Yuan won't need to hire strange men so often.

Meanwhile it's come to Shen Yuan's attention, perhaps through an offhand comment he read online somewhere, that people who are struggling financially often also struggle to "treat themselves". Because even when they have enough money to be comfortable there's often the looming specter of deprivation, and etc, so he figures he should start buying some of his dependents more treats and things. Since they might not buy them for themselves? And also he's enjoying doing this but shhh no he isn't, it's a huge hassle, he's only doing it out of basic moral decency, etc.

So like, Airplane starts getting little things that he'd put on some public wish lists, clearly sent by Peerless Cucumber. And he tells Mingyan to make a list for Liu Qingge too, and sure enough, Liu Qingge (bewildered, slightly flustered) tries to figure out what he's supposed to do with an album from a band he likes and some high-end leather polish. Ultimately settles on playing the music and wearing his nicest leather in his next video. Yue Qi starts arriving at Shen Yuan's place to be plied with his favorite coffees and to have scented candles awkwardly foisted onto him (Shen Yuan does not know what Yue Qi likes in gifts) (he buys these presents himself they're not out of Shen Jiu's pocket).

So finally Shen Yuan's parents start to notice that he's been spending a lot more than usual, and start to worry that he's either been taken in by a scam artist or is secretly dating a gold digger or has developed a drug addiction or something. But asking things directly like normal people is basically illegal in the Shen family, so they decide to hire a private investigator.

Enter Luo Binghe, a young man of humble background who is struggling to make ends meet after the untimely death of his adoptive mother, and is using his P.I. job and his online cooking videos to help pay his way through school (scholarship student). Usually his cases are more like, cyberstalking someone to find out if they're cheating on their spouse, or helping someone planning a lawsuit accumulate evidence on their corrupt employer, or other things like that. When he gets the Shen Yuan case, the idea that the Shen family's son is paying for "company" is well within his list of probable answers.

Though this one is a little... peculiar?

Mostly because Binghe can't find evidence of Shen Yuan actually getting what he would, presumably, be paying for. At first Luo Binghe just goes through the online paper trails, using the info that the Shen parents give him to figure out that Shen Yuan is paying Airplane and Swordmaster Liu (*cough*) what seem to be exorbitant prices just for trashy fiction and cosplay videos. He assumes this is a cover, that someone's actually delivering drugs or going over for "private meetings" or at least actually sending dirty videos as well, but even when he pays for Liu Qingge's VIP access it's just tutorials and such. Neither of these guys are even on any of the sites that are more lenient towards hosting explicit content. Luo Binghe's aware that kinks aren't always obviously sexual, but people don't usually pay through the nose for the kind of content they can easily find for free all over the place, either.

He digs a little more but keeps coming up empty on evidence to clarify which of the many vices the Shen family's son is actually indulging in. Which is a problem because that's the information they're paying him to find out. Plus his curiosity kind of piques as he reads Shen Yuan's seemingly quite invested comments on Airplane's writing and Liu Qingge's videos, looking to see if there's any kind of clandestine code or pattern. But near as he can tell, whatever else Shen Yuan might be getting out of these arrangements, he does genuinely like the stories and videos too? Well. Sometimes. Sometimes he's actually scathingly vitriolic towards Airplane's writing.

Luo Binghe decides that surveilling Shen Yuan himself is probably the way to go. That gets more complicated in court cases, but since the Shen parents just wants to know what's going on and aren't planning on prosecuting their son for anything, it doesn't matter as much if Luo Binghe gets information in sneaky or underhanded ways.

So, Binghe uses the account he created to access Liu Qingge's videos to chat with Shen Yuan a few times, and then recommends his own cooking channel. Shen Yuan doesn't seem too interested in cooking, so Luo Binghe makes sure to include a video that has an image of himself in his recommendation, and then films a few new videos of himself cooking with his shirtsleeves rolled up to three quarters and a few more buttons than usual unbuttoned, adopting a more flirty persona than he typically does for his shows. He takes his cues from some of Liu Qingge's more popular videos for how to be enticing bait.

It takes a few videos, but eventually Shen Yuan comments. Luo Binghe latches onto the chance to start talking to him, playing up a persona of a vulnerable young man with little means who is trying hard to make it through school, etc, and sure enough Shen Yuan seems interested. Well, most predatory people like vulnerable targets, don't they?

However... Shen Yuan just sends him a chunk of money.

Luo Binghe is confused.

Isn't he supposed to ask for something or create some kind of expectation of repayment first? But, maybe this is his approach to handling new targets. Maybe he's just trying to lull Binghe into a false sense of complacency, before he starts indicating what he wants from all of this. Luo Binghe makes sure to move the money Shen Yuan sends him into a separate account, so that if the Shen parents get angry about it then he can return it as a gesture of good faith.

But Shen Yuan just keeps sending supportive comments and donations. Eventually he leaves a comment that alludes to how badly he'd like to taste Binghe's cooking, and Binghe is like finally, but when he implies that they could perhaps meet in person and Luo Binghe could thank him for his support by making him something, Shen Yuan backs off.

Things eventually progress to the point where Luo Binghe, who is a totally normal person treating this like a totally normal job still thank you very much, is basically camping out in the bushes in front of Shen Yuan's apartment building. At some point he conscripts the aid of his weird cousin (finding his birth family was how he got into this business initially), and then almost immediately regrets it because Shen Yuan helps get Zhuzhi Lang a job doing landscaping for his building.

Why would he want Zhuzhi Lang close but not Binghe? Binghe is much handsomer! He'd make an excellent target for seduction! >:(

Anyway eventually Yue Qi catches Luo Binghe lurking around like a creeper and is like, finally, I have caught one of these suspicious men, whilst Binghe is like oh so he does have a lover, well this guy sucks and is clearly not good enough for him, and they both try and chase one another off and Shen Yuan comes home to a heated passive-aggressive-politeness war being waged in front of his apartment. Eventually he realizes the misunderstanding and calls everyone together (zoom conference? in-person meet-up?) to clarify that he is not paying any of them for "special favors", that was just Airplane being deranged about his sense of humor, and then he has no idea what to do when the prevailing response seems to be disappointment.

[fingertipsmp3]

Sometimes it really feels like the world is conspiring to keep me from reading