#about getting the increasing right
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Taking inspiration from @milkweedman again, and trying my hand at a mesh drawstring bag!
This is my handspun shetland wool, and z ply is untwisting just a little while i crochet, so its coming out softer than expected! A big win, coz i definitely overplyed a little. Im adoring how the colours are striping.
I loved the photos from milkweedmans bags, especially of the washed fleece in the bag, so hoping I can do something similar and get the clean wool off the dining table 😅
#craft#craftblr#wool#handspun#crochet#milkweedman#my favourite tumblr craft blog for inspiration#i love everything you make and hope you dont mind me having a go at my own#bit worried about the mesh part#about getting the increasing right#but very excited#wip#bag#mesh bag
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17th century gloves are. very good.
#17th century#gloves#I'm trying to get work done on other stuff right now but I CANNOT stop thinking about fancy gloves#I. want. to. sew. fancy. gloves.#and I have so so many different ideas for cuff decorations#I should be sleeping but I'm looking at 17th century gloves on pinterest and hhnnnghhhhhhhhhhhhhh#the ones I'm sewing are more 18th century but I am taking creative liberties with some pairs because I can sew whatever I want#and I'm going to be good and finish the waistcoat I'm working on before cutting out another pair of gloves#so as to not increase my unfinished project number#but I will be constantly thinking about fancy gloves as I work on that waistcoat#I have more lambskins and leather paint coming in the mail
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targeting civilians. murdering them, raping them, torturing them, and then desecrating their bodies. annihilating entire families. kidnapping babies as young as 6 months and Holocaust survivors as old as 100. shooting down attendees at a rave that was for peace. this is not freedom fighting. this is not liberation. and this will certainly not free palestine.
all this does is cause more suffering for both israelis and palestinians. all this causes is war and death and atrocities.
it is terrorism. if you try to justify it, you are supporting terrorism.
#jumblr#jewish#israel#peace#what's heart breaking is most in gaza have been polled in favor of increasing ties with israel#what's heart breaking is how many people are showing how deeply seeded their antisemitism is#and i'm sure i'll get hate for this but what's really heart breaking is how little people seem to understand#israel is not a colonial construct#the jewish people are indigenous to israel#israel is SUCCESSFUL decolonialization#there is no occupation in gaza#that has not been any israelis or jews in gaza since 2005#the blockade only went up in 2007 when Hamas took over and began terrorizing israeli citizens#if this was about the blockage there would be the same thing happening in egypt#it's not about the blockage#Hamas's charter declares that their goal is not to ~free palestine~ but to murder all jews#this is antisemitism#this is what the nazis did#if you think for a second you would have stood up to the nazis#but justified what is happening right now#you're wrong and you're an antisemite
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ngl the more i rewatch spn the more i get convinced that sam and dean didn’t fuck pre canon
#them fucking pre series just doesn’t feel right considering the progressively increasing pining in the first three seasons#and them acting like they’ve never been THAT physical before#dean looking at sam like he wants to eat him and clearly feeling guilty about it#sam being kind of oblivious but also his body language blatantly says he wants to get dicked down by his big brother#anyway#i can’t see them getting to it until after s2#wincest#samdean#spn
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Luka is very good at keeping himself composed on stage, mostly with the help of maintaining track of his heart rate, but during Mizi's attack in ROMH he seemed to slip up, not only was the red background a tell-tale sign of Mizi's violent intentions but it was a more symbolic way of showing Luka in quite visceral fear. Even if for only a second.
I'm not convinced Luka will be as continuously calculated as he normally comes off, it all seems too fake to me. Because it is. It’s a similar case to Ivan who can't feel, isn't normal, isn't human enough so he makes a persona to blend in. So Luka, whoever he is, makes this version of himself to cope with what he has to live through, pretending like he's on top of it all to survive in this world.
So in round 7, I think something drastic will happen to make him 'snap' in a way.
It's safe to say that we don't know Luka. We don't know who he really is. We don't know his real desires. But we do know one thing--he is scared. he is afraid of the aliens. That's why he appeases them--being their trophy. He's only kept around for his purpose as an entertainer and nothing else and he's very aware of that. He knows very well that a dented trophy will be discarded; with that mindset, he's been able to get so far, and he's scared of losing. That's why he holds any little thing he can get his hands on close. And an important extension of that fear is his fear of losing power.
Till should be the more likely in this position, given he's such a rebel. But isn't that just too predictable? Keep in mind, that Till is a strong person. Even after all he's been through, even after he's been beaten into something more manageable for the aliens--He still hasn't lost his spark. Till is a raging storm. subdued but nonetheless a force to be reckoned with.
Round 6's effect on Till is greatly ambiguous for now but at this point when the time for round 7 comes, Till has been put through so much hell. Whatever Luka does to provoke him probably won't work, he and Luka are equally talented individuals and will make for an intense battle, and at the end of the day, the numbers won't lie. Exactly that is what Luka is ready for but scared of--a worthy opponent for the throne. Someone capable of stripping him of his power. (Is fear what makes Luka so dismissive?)
It would be so aggravating that this 'pest'. who is so indignant, so rebellious (in a way Luka envies.), could so easily destroy everything Luka has worked for, disregard every pain Luka has been through to get to this point, and Till doesn't value this throne as much as Luka does, and Luka doesn't want to feel the pain of death anymore. If his facade is as destructible as I think it is, that will be what ultimately brings out Luka.
This idea may be flawed. Luka is so perfect, too perfect and confident and experienced for something as little as that to break him, just think of all the training Luka went through to get to this point. I'm positive he's very aware of what playing unfairly will lead to. But isn't there always room for a wild card?
Just remember what happened to Hyun-woo.
What happened here isn't fully explained (and probably will be in round 7) but imagine Luka: "Trophy child, goody two shoes" Luka possibly killing another human. Whether by accident or not, what happened?--what and how did Luka feel in the moment for the repercussions of whatever happened to be that bad?
A Luka that is secretly greatly insecure, pliable, and defensive enough that in a spur of emotions, he can’t help but lose his cool in a way he hasn’t in a while because he’s afraid—just to try and prove he is still valuable. That is the type of character I theorize we'll come to see in round 7.
#I wonder if Hyunwoo dying was because whatever happened between them occured after heperu stopped lukas heart. maybe it made him more#sensitive? and when hyunwoo got rough with him for some reason it drew him over the edge perhaps?#i rlly dunno what could prompt luka and hyunwoo to fight honestly if hyuna wasnt involved#those two were basicallt friends? brother type relationship so like eh idk#alien stage#alnst#this is so random but i just wanted to yap about it for a second its been wracking my brain for days#i think we just have 1 too many enigmatic characters#i think this is the plot twist vivinos will go for because#“senior beats the rookie” well it's too predictable and quite cliche#and after everything i dont think till is in the right state of mind to give a shit.#i also just wanna weasel some way into making till survive this so uh yes!#can we also consider just how much tills fame may have increased after round seven.#think of it like alien stage getting more popular because of doomed yaoi. thats alien stage universe.#ivan literally has fangirls. and look at us:#just sayin'...#harharharharhar#also i know there might be someone thinking: but what about the rebellion? for one. mizi and hyuna may or may not be goners#but in general i dont think they can do ANYTHING for till or luka atp#isaac and dewey? maybe#alnst till#alien stage till#alien stage round 7#it just feels plain to me to see a luka that doesnt want to be another one of those corpses elevating the throne. he wants to show that he#is more valuable than that 'punk' who'll do nothing but dishonor this throne? maybe. we'll just have to seeeeee#alien stage luka#alnst luka#luka alien stage#till alien stage
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i told myself that yakuei only had one position then i proved myself (sorta) wrong
my fave face here:
#technically... if they were boinking in outer space... a lot of these would be the same position#makes a rotate-y gesture with my fingers#what is yakumo's kabedon if not a vertical missionary#so i've half proven myself right AND wrong! i'm net neutral in outer space broskis!!!!!#zizz-asdf if ur reading these tags i'll have u know that u inspired me to Do the Research1#like. 5 garu riding eiden? no. it can't be. does yaku do one specific thing with eiden 5 times? *tries to write it down*#i can't quite... what's the word for that position...uhhhh#ah forget it i'll just draw it out#<- that was the process of creating this. collage? 😆#THE MATRIX OF YAKUEI BOINKINg POSITIONS (under construction)#when u about to be semi-normal and make a spreadsheet but ur sexcabulary is stunted so you resort to visuals instead#legit opening up every intimacy room and skipping thru sections to get as complete a picture as possible#wondering... where are yaku's feet planted in this one. (skips to 8minute mark)#ah! there they are. theyre not supporting his weight in this one *draws it*#while drawing crimson phantom room 2 my brow was furrowed and i was mentally narrating#[and this one i affectionately call.. rectal exam - professional misconduct Grounds for Termination)]#surprised they str8 up havent done classicdoggstyle yet. is it because he's a snake? garu should teach him#also surprised that there's been no Light SSR for yaku yet. come on!! Light mode on the double!#uhhh i think the only repeated positions were freestanding (choco liqueur r2 and dark nova r2)#and standing AGAINST! THE! WALL! (choco liqueur r5 {interior} and shadow lineage r5 {cave})#wait. *throws papers around* i swear they did missionary more than once. was it only ocean breeze???#i know with the intimacy rooms they gotta modify the positions into certain angles to make it...look...better#but seriously? only one missionary out of the lot of them? despite the aesthetic tweaks??? how can that ........#*tosses more papers around with increasing befuddlement* WHERE IS MY PURE 100% VANILLA BEAN ICE CREAM#sighs as all the papers lie scattered on the ground#dude... i don't know anymore..... this is beyond my scope#now that i see how evenly spread out the positions are...#i BET the devs have SOME SORTA CHART tracking yaku's positions. now THAT'S a funky office corkboard!#yakuei#nu carnival eiden
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ive talked to a lot of ppl who have taken vyvanse now and i think ik a bit more on how i need to live on it
#1) dopamine drops on lower dosages or high dosage but in the evenings feel like hell and it wont ever stop you have to just breathe#you will stop breathing well and you wont notice it so you have to remember to breathe deeply. this helps immensely for some reason#2) you will stop processing the existence of food as a consumable thing and not just an object like Table or Cardboard. you will not want to#eat anything. you have to buy meal replacement shakes. sweetness is one of the only pleasant flavours. eat protein. eat as much protein as#you can. down those meal replacament shakes. get enough for a day. try not to into calorie deficits on vyvanse.#3) your mind will be searching for cognitively complex tasks and everything else dwarfs in comparison. dont lay down. do something.#4) you have to exercise. fully exercise at the gym not a home 20 min work out. you need to push your body right now so that you can be ok#5) nothing will be as intense and vivid and beautiful and there will be a layer of seperation between you snd reality even on a lower dosage#this is fine. this is the primary price. sunlight helps and so does doing complex tasks but you cant avoid this. remind yourself that this#is a self-induced thing and its temporary and itll fade.#6) youve been ship of theseus'd into a new person and this effect only increases later into the day. any conclusion you reach about yourself#is most likely not applicable to your non-vyvanse self.#7) carry chapstick around. keep drinking water. dry mouth starts 5 minutes after taking it#8) some of your friends have a reduced range of emotion and this makes them more stable but less capable of experiencing intense joys#and sadnesses. look at them. listen to their perspective. live like them when youre on the medication.#9) music is still gorgeous#10) you will feel very hot very fast. wear layers you can take off.#11) pick up a bow and shoot. keep shooting. keep going. shoot at least 50 arrows if you can. feel the pain in your arms and your shoulders#and then keep shooting.
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someone on a podcast i listen to said most comedy tiktoks have funny concepts but go on for so long they become unfunny. i can't unsee it now, the timing really does matter so much. and i don't want to romanticize the vine days because all we're left with now are compilations of the Most Iconic Vines which isn't the full picture, but on the other hand. they really are so iconic. watching a really good vine compilation truly makes me appreciate the power of editing, distillation, of the punch, of the snappiness,
#i have never been on vine or tiktok it's all second hand osmosis for me baybee#i think some ppl get it like s & d tier is peak comedy and i think it gets the timing right most of the time#but there's so many Bits that are like. now you're just repeating the punchline five times#and i think having more video time lets you utilize different kinds of comedy for sure! it doesn't have to be 6 secs#I WONDER IF SOMETHING SIMILAR CAN BE SAID ABOUT TWITTER... 140 characters era vs 280 characters era#did we have more or fewer ridiculously long threads after they increased the lengths of tweets#were the jokes funnier. I don't remember#but i remember how much effort i put into making entire thoughts fit into short tweets and how to word myself for it#IT'S INTERESTING TO ME
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Seeing Joel become increasingly more soft with each episode is really wrecking me. In the way he speaks to her, and physically
“You need to stop talking about this kid like she’s got some kind of life in front of her!” Oh ho HO just you wait, mr miller. you’re gonna give that kid the life you swore she’d didn’t have.
“You’re cargo.” And how he doesn’t even believe it. How he’s just saying it as if he’s putting scotch tape under a saw blade. It won’t last.
That to “Ellie. Are you okay?” And moving to embrace her. Because she’s becoming his life. She does have a life in front of her. And it’s him.
How he throws her into a wall and hurts her shoulder when they first meet. How she purposely shoves his shoulder just to piss him off. How he points a gun right at her, threatening her life.
How he yanks his hand away after helping her up. How that instinct kicked in to aid her, but she second he was aware of what he was doing, he pulls away. But how he lingers on it, still.
How he has his arm above both of them, pushing the clicker away from her but letting it get eerily close to his face. How he grabs and pushes her behind him when a clicker comes running. How he pulls her back from infected at the state house. How that protection starts to seep through his hard outer walls
How he shows her what a seatbelt is. How he reaches over her when he literally didn’t need to at all. He could’ve tugged his own out in front of his chest so she could follow suite and find where it is. But no, the same man who wouldn’t dare grab her hand to help her up, is reaching across her and their heads damn near touch so he can show her what a seatbelt is. So she’s safe.
How he so, so gently, grabs and guides her hands to her Beretta, showing her how to hold it so it can’t be taken out of her grip easily. How he, again, didn’t really have to. At least didn’t need to hold them as long as he did. He’s so sentimental. How he boosts her up. “I got you.”
How he protects her. Wordlessly, now. They don’t need to speak it. He just does it. Because it’s him. And because it’s her. Because, while he may need to, he wants to. And she trusts him to, 100%. Because he’s proven he can be trusted, and she’s given him every reason to want to protect her
#don’t ship them. I’ll bite your fingers off like carrots#sentimental? I don’t think that’s the word I’m looking for but I’m dead tired so forgive me#im studying but took a break bc I was thinking about them#surprise surprise#I don’t know I’m sad and impatient for Sunday#more tender joel ! more tender joel ! more tender joel !#the increasing tender joel we get in ep6 is him taking her back and helping her up on Callus and smiling at her#right. RIGHT?#it better be.#the last of us hbo#joel miller#ellie williams#tlou spoilers
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nothing worse than when you see a post that is 100% a joke and not at all serious but that also kinda highkey rubs you the wrong way for slightly stupid reasons
#i a little earlier saw a post from someone joking about how a computer program using they/them pronouns to refer to another user#was transmisogyny#and it just kinda really rubbed me the wrong way a lot#because like yes i get that thats completely a joke and its not serious#but also increased usage of they/them pronouns in circumstances where the referred persons gender is unknown#is a *very* definite positive for trans rights#and i feel like acting like its a negative even for a very dumb internet joke#is honestly incredibly reductive and stupid#and anyways this is reslly not a big deal in any direction but its 8 am and i havent slept and am feeling Weird#from quitting the meds ive been trying the last few months#and yeah i am turning off reblogs on this post because im slightly afraid this post would get me cancelled#if the wrong sort of discourse blogger saw it
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Apparently my job incorrectly changed my state on my W4 without my knowledge or consent last year and now I owe a LOT of money in unpaid state taxes since they weren't withholding them from my paycheck like they were supposed to 😭
#i hadnt filed my 2023 taxes yet bc there was some stuff i had to figure out with my old college#(they didnt send me a 1098-t and they werent responding to my emails and they changed systems after i graduated#so i wasnt in their new systems and when i called the treasurers office they couldnt figure out how to find me#so they sent it to their manager but the manager never responded and etc etc)#but i wasnt too worried bc i knew with the withholdings that i put on my w4 that i should be receiving a refund#and theres no penalties to filing late if youre receiving a refund (you just. dont get your money until its filed)#but now ive got that figured out (turns out they actually didnt need to send me a 1098-t bc i dont have any exceptions to claim from them#bc something about how my expenses were handled? idk. which i didnt even learn from them btw. bc they never got back to me 🙃#i had to consult a tax expert. but anyway)#so i was trying to finally file them. and uh. it turns out i owed like $1000 to my state. and i was like. that. cant be right. what?#checked my w2 and for some reason on one line it had my state listed with like a small portion of my earnings#and then on the next line there was the rest of my earnings under a different state name#a state that doesnt fucking have state taxes 🙃 so nothing was withheld from that portion of my income#so apparently i did NOT pay the majority of my state taxes last year. and now im 6 months late filing. and im worried im fucked#and we are also 11 MONTHS into 2024 with my w4 incorrect and no state taxes withheld all year 🙃 fuck. fuck fuck fuck#they cant even change it back until my manager proves i live in this state apparently 😭 what the hell man#i live in this state i work in this state my companys fucking headquarters is in this state#WHY would they change it to a different fucking state. WITHOUT my knowledge or consent#i didnt even realize they had stopped withholding my state taxes until now bc it happened at the same time i got promoted#so the increase on my paycheck just blended in with my raise 😭#i just submitted it but of course theyre going to take what i owe for my state taxes weeks before they refund me for my federal taxes#payments process within 48 hours but refunds take up to 21 days#rambling#so. im gonna have to figure out how to make rent and bills next week#and then im ALSO gonna have to pay however much it costs to be 6 months behind on a payment of nearly $1000#FUCK
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Bruhhhh I just want to wake up and not be in pain for once 😭 need a break
#cw personal#cw negativity#I have woken up with a migraine every single day for the past two weeks and painkillers have only managed to just dull it to a vague#throbbing headache that makes it impossible to focus on anything#ughhhhhhhhhhhh#chronic illness is great huh#so incredibly frustrating to wake up in the same pain I went to bed with or worse#like I am very aware that getting mad/mopey about it will only increase my general suffering bc this is just how things are right now#but ohhhhh man it’s hard
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Was anyone going to tell me that fyolai made it to top100 ships of the year on ao3 or was I just supposed to find out through a youtube video
#shoutout to coley#I love her content#coley if you ever need anyone to explain the plot hit me up#but seriously two things#one it's hysterical that atsushi is so underrated in his show that coley thought he was a secondary character#I don't blame her but yeah atsushi has been underhyped for a really long time#and the second thing is I spent the past year feeling terrified of writing a fyolai fic due to the number of readers increasing but I was#telling myself that I'm probably overreacting and I was actually right??#like they entered the chart at number 80 that's actually wild for someone who remembers the time before nikolai was even animated#I'm definitely really happy about them getting popular and all the new readers and writers are welcomed#am I gonna go back to writing fics? probably not but it makes me happy to see so many people enjoying the ship#and now I'm gonna disappear again until the new chapter drops#bsd original
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So many men think they’re owed a woman’s time, attention, intimacy, etc and it has brought on so much violence that women have had to undergo
#if u haven’t heard there’s this man or various men who go around randomly punching women on the streets of nyc#this isn’t news per se bc it’s happened in the past#but several women have gone on social media to talk about their experiences#violence against women has always existed in our society#and nothing concrete or substantial has been done to teach men to treat women with respect#also the increased growth of the incel movement or however u want to call it plays a huge role in this violence#and those who are part of that movement view hyper-sexual women as less than or as sl*ts#or women who date frequently or have casual s*x in the same group as being deserving of that violence#there’s also boy group chats and ya know guys who have lots of male friends#they sort of get comfortable with sharing misogynistic jokes and comments#and this is why some men don’t bother stepping in when a woman is being harrassed on the street#cuz they subconsciously think she deserves it cuz she must sleep around right?#wrong; all women are deserving of respect regardless of who they are and what they do with their time#teach your sons and brothers and friends and students to show respect towards everyone but especially women bc we do live in a patriarchal-#society that is gradually taking away women’s rights#and the majority of women don’t feel safe the moment they leave their homes#thoughts
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My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.
It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.
Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.
In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.
#em.txt#ps2 post#post-shift 2#i obviously am biased#i also obviously have more to say#but for now i think this is a start. i think this is fine so far.#i got counter arguments i was gonna type about the problems#bc tbh i think the difficulty isn't as big a problem as the difficult curve -- it starts very high for a fangame#bc it assumed you know what they're like. you know how fangames work. but it over assumes that all the mechanics#work at the same frequency as other fangame#the difficulty curve of night 1 is pretty tough place to start which turned a lot of people off#especially with how long & unclear th tutorials are & of course night 1's tutorial starting with a character that is unused in that night#it's rough. night 2 is even tougher. but night 3 is a cakewalk once you beat 2 bc it only adds 2 threats#so you might expect the next night to be as easy or even easier & in my eyes yeah -- night 4 is easier than 1 even#except that it's completely different & is asking the player to learn a new game entirely which is its own difficulty#but i can crank out a night 4 easy peasy no prolem. so you might expect night 5 to be even easier right? WRONG#WRONG WRONG WRRRONNNGG even people who know what they are doing struggle#because a mechanic in the game actively increases the difficulty as the difficulty is increased which is EVIL#& night 6 is even harder i have seen 3 people beat night 6 it is absurd#i sat in a call with another PS2 fan who clearly played thr game s lot & loved it but they could not beat the night normally#& this night has fucking optional difficulty modifiers when you finish that make it harder it is hell on earth#there is no checkpoints it is bad it is so bad I haven't beaten it i talk abt this game every day i play all the nights#i do not fucking play this night bc the way the tutorial works is unreal & unhelpful it wants you to remember#all this shit but it removes the 'walk around & click things before the night starts to see how they work/where they are'#& then it changes every 2 hours to something new so you won 12-2 but you hit 2 & forgot this one person's mechanic#but the only way to read the tutorial again is to close the game bc it automatically puts you back into the night#& will not take you to the home screen to view the booklet for night 6 it's insane#so yeah. there is difficulty. but the difficulty curve being this inconsistent is worse tbh#i get night 6 is meant to be like a 'everyone is here!' bossfight but it's overwhelming & there is too damn much
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#I am so sick of everything right now#there are things I need to do#and decisions I need to make#and people I need to get back to#about things they've asked about... weeks ago now#and it's not that I don't actually have time for these obligations#I just feel so completely mentally and emotionally frayed#and all I want to do is scream at everyone to leave me alone#(even while yeah I am also lonely and aware that increasing social isolation isn't going to actually help with Issues)#but I just don't want to deal with#any of this#so many things feel unsustainable#and yet the prospect of change literally makes me physically sick#and even trying to do anything differently#takes so so so much energy I do not have#sick of Trying#but not trying just means the problems and stresses keep getting worse so#back to work I guess
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