#and that has made my online experience so very much better than anything else

[blaiddraws]

i love them (the fankids) and honestly seeing you draw stuff you want to makes me so happy draw what you want and take care of yourself <3 we are just happy to share dojoshipping and submas with you

you guys as a bunch of people that walked into my house and cheer and clap when i hold up a drawing

[bloggingboutburgers]

I think everyone will benefit from properly tagging posts. xreader fics abd ship fics ONLY include the relevent _x_ tags but none of the character's name on its own, allowing all the usual fanart, theories and such to stay on the main name tag and not be crowded out by horny fanfiction (I say this as someone who very much enjoys very horny, very smutty xreader fanfictions. I want to be able to search the fics I want directly without having to trawl through headcanon posts, fanart, unrelated ship posts, etc.).

No one really has a tailored experience on the internet (I'm glad tumblr is at least a little more user dictated than advertiser algorithm based), but I do get the frustration and discomfort that comes from the abundant hornyposting feeling inescapable.

It's tempting to take offence to persistent cries against xreader stuff. I like special POV episodes of shows for the same reason I like xreader fics. My favourite characters WERE the company I kept, my only real form of companionship (albeit simulated) for many many years. Not because I am allo, basically. I sought something to meet my social needs growing up where I was unable to find community or companionship in real life.

Unfortunately, because they are usually sexual in nature I just came to associate a need for human connection with sex (so am I allo or just conditioned to blend sexual, platonic and romantic feelings and actions together?). I was just happy to feel like I had someone to hang out with. I knew they weren't real and that I needed to find real people to connect with (not for lack of trying, kids are just cruel. Finally made friends as an adult, yay).

Didn't intend for any of that to be so sad or pathetic, but hopefully it gives context for the prevalence of xreader fics. Alongside the varied reasons people write / read them (no just blind allo horniness), especially in light of the widespread loneliness epidemic over the past decade.

It's still more than ok to not want anything to do with them either (be it due to being aroace or not - I know plenty of allos who find xreader fics cringe).

Something I need to clarify here – we get it. Well, we don't fundamentally get it, but trust me, we've been told time and time again why people would write/draw/be into xreader content (it's all part of the package of "aroaces MUST put themselves in allo people's shoes at all times"), and we know they're perfectly legitimate reasons, and we don't find it sad or pathetic, or cringe. At the very least I don't at all. That's not what it's about. It's not something as surface-level at that.

The thing is... The same kind of understanding effort is VERY rarely put forward in return for us. And the fact that we're perceived as naysayers is symptomatic of this. We're not crying against xreader content. People are free to do whatever they want. We just want it to be tagged to keep ourselves safe, and so we can appreciate some variety and find fandom content we can properly connect with with the identity we have.

The issue isn't that there is xreader content, or heck, that there's lots of it. It's that, as @kaoruko-han put it, "everyone is assumed to be into this", and that you can't express something as simple as "I'd rather read something else" without being finger-pointed as a villain.

Yeah, no one has a tailored experience online, but there's still a very clear lack of balance on what is acceptable to tailor to or not (and for us, that includes tumblr). And trying to find fan-content while being sex-repulsed? Bruh, you'd better pray on your lucky stars and be ready to trudge through an ocean of stuff that's loaded with the very thing that makes you scared, uncomfortable or downright triggers a feeling of sickness in you, because a lot of it ain't tagged. An alarming amount of people don't bother, because why would people like you exist, right? There's only ever them, and puritan bigots. It's that black and white in a lot of people's heads.

Here's the difference though: we, too, want people to be able to vibe to whatever fan content they want. We just wish "people" included us properly in this case. As it stands now, trying to find fan content that won't give you an uncomfortable feeling as a sex-repulsed person feels kinda like this (I'll try to illustrate that to the best of my ability as a vague comparison, please no one take that as a clear parallel, I'm literally just trying to explain how it feels in a way people who have no idea how it feels might understand): you're not into gore at all, you don't wanna look at it, but your streaming platform keeps recommending you those series that are loaded with gore. You try to filter it out, but no matter where you go, you keep being recommended those series. And no one ever gets your discomfort and you're being branded as nothing but a wet blanket for not wanting to see gore. It's kinda like that.

At this point I admire sex-repulsed or romance-repulsed people who still TRY to find anything at all in fandom spaces. I've stopped reading fanfic altogether and I've largely stopped engaging with the large majority of fandom spaces for those reasons. And that wasn't an easy choice, or one that I find fun because it feels incredibly lonely, but it's the result of years of exhaustion and strain on my mental health trying to navigate something that's so hostile to me at its core, even if it's unintentional.

So... Yeah. We know the reasons, just like the content itself, they're kinda impossible to ignore. But we are largely being ignored in this, and it's not just something at an "ick" or "picky" level ; for a sex-repulsed person, being spammed with sex entails much more than that. It's not even frustration anymore at this point, it's downright despair a lot of the time. So... Yeah, like you said, everyone would benefit from stuff being more properly tagged. For us it'd be so huge to know our safety is taken into account – that we're taken into account at all. Thing is, we're not, and we're so invisible in this and most other things that at this point, I don't have much hope. Sex-related controversies allo people can understand would sooner create a change than anything done for our sake.

[false-cowboy]

Do you have any litrpg recs?

OH BOY DO I

I will attempt to give little descriptions but I'm not the best at writing so if nothing else I hope the names pique your interest! This post will be more personal opinion than direct plot summary, though if you'd like I can add those too

Noobtown: Humor is a bit high school boy especially in this first one, but it definitely gets some full body cackles outta me. Though this is a comedy series supposedly, it knows how to tug at your heart strings with some genuinely good characters and an interesting break of the system surrounding the book itself. More than anything, this shits Fun. It gets really interesting, Shart the demon is a pathetic mound of anger issues, Jim’s name is the equivalent of a dog’s in this world, all hail Badgalor king of the badgers, fuck the fecking puma forest.

Chaos Seeds: Classic of the genre, though definitely dated and the series degrades with the more recent books. Very nice magic system, one of the better uses I've seen, and the characters are notably very colorful/fun. Good fights and damn graphic, isn't afraid to be gruesome though there is a beating heart of humanity through the series I personally enjoy

Dungeon Crawler Carl (mix of LitRPG and apocalyptic dungeon elements, what it says on the tin): one of the best, and I mean BEST of this genre in my opinion. extraordinarily dark and horrifically funny. This shit will depress you as you giggle at it. But its just so damn good with some really nice underlying as well as overt commentary. More gorgeous character writing though here it's all Carl and the beautiful Princess Dount (his show winning, talking, cat whom deserves the universe in her paws) all the way. Very absurdist humor by the by, if that's your thing

Ascend Online (town builder litrpg): I mainly love this one for something that happens I think at the end of the first book though it might be the second. It sort of flips the magic system against our hero in a wonderfuly monstrous way. This one is Very Big, and honestly a little boring at times. But the game mechanics and magic system are drooling off of the page, begging to be thought about. Our main character is smart and resourceful, as a veteran of video games he capitalizes his knowlage for a satisfying build. If you’re really into game mechanics this shit was MADE for you, it is also just plain interesting. Good ideas and good fight scenes to go around for everyone! And mainly I just consider it a bit boring because I listened to the audiobook and the narrator read off the Entire Status Page ever like chapter which, if you're an avid LitRPG reader, you’ll understand the pain involved in such a thing

He Who Fights With Monsters: Another insanely long book, another absolute banger. While personally I'm not a fan of the series as it progresses, the first one is a full experience all on its own, lightning in a bottle to me. The main character is one of the best I’ve read about, the magic system is deliciously unique, the side characters are memorable as hell, but most of all I adore the worldbuilding in HWFWM SO fucking much. I have like full posts thirsting after it GOD. I could sit here and just talk. This is one of the best on the list to me, right up there with Dungeon Crawler Carl; even better in the side character department

Ritualist (The Completionist Chronicles): This one’s strengths are a surprising mix of absurdist comedy and a somewhat well thought out magic system. The writing is,,, Not The Best especially compared to some others, but it was a fun and very quick read, especially compared to some others on this list. a popcorn turn your brain off read

System Apocalypse (While most LitRPG exist in fantasy worlds, this one is a post-apocalyptic sci-fi vibe): This is another short one. It takes place in Canada and the main character is a ball of severe anger issues and angst, he has a very cool motorcycle and kicks hella ass. It’s great. His companion is top tier as well, there may or may not be a hot space elf prince involved. If you don't like romance you’re still good though because there isn’t any since John is a pussy ass bitch. Sorry, sorry, I'm trying to be fair and balanced. It's good! John is definitely a flawed individual, I think people often miss a lot of the little nuances in his character and write him off as petulant and pissed (to be fair, he is) but to me at least there's a bit more going on. Even if he can be genuinely irritating to read about

And finally, my two favorite series... and guilty pleasures

The Good Guys: A quintessential barbarian. Think of a barbarian character. Boom. There it is. That’s our man Montana Coggshall. this series is my version of embarrassment exposure therapy, Montana is constantly being humiliated and nothing good ever happens to him. But Also, this is not a sad or angsty or dark series at all. Its fun and light and god are the fights amazing. a fantasy romp to its core. Charming and delicious and fun and action packed to the gills.

The Bad Guys: A quintessential rouge. Think of a rogue character. Boom. There it is. That’s our man Clide Hatchett. This series has a style and comedy and charm to i cannot physically understate and there are So Many genuinely clever moments

there are so many characters that fuck around with morality and right/wrong and different view points that make the world feel so lived in

Everything from plumbing to lumberjacks is explored and given loving attention.

Reading it feels like coming home, I honestly don't care that the plot has turned into side quests and atm the side characters haven't gotten enough time in the spot light

The main character and fucking sheer amazing awkward kind conflicted energy of his dialogue, I've developed a connection to Eric ugland's style of writing further than I thought and I can't get enough of this shit. Also every problem Clide Hatchett has is solved with some sort of fucking batshit way I Adore

He's the guy who used a dagger that could travel through liquid to travel through a guys stomach and out the other side. Did I mention how gorey these books are? Because Yeah. I adore Clide Hatchet, my favorite character to ever be written in any place ever. He walks into places he absolutely shouldn't be, gets called elf boy, kicks everybody's ass while simultaneously being the most awkward and uncoordinated mess elvenly possible, then leaves. He is in the palace throne room profusely apologizing to the servants for getting dirt on the floor and beating the shit out of the king, he is at the altar of your wedding punching you in the face and then turning around and tripping on his dress, he is calling himself a hero before robbing a home blind. And also he keeps on shoving acid globs down people's throats and managing to do that while maintaining pure silly little guy energy is genuinely character writing talent. He's perfect. Yes it is very dorky.

Eric Ugland (who wrote both the Good Guys and Bad Guys series) has this way of writing, this STYLE I cannot properly articulate how much I find myself in love with it. though I will warn you I'm definitely bias, since I've been following both of these series almost since conception my perception could be entirely skewed by nostalgia

[genderkoolaid]

hi! your blog's been encouraging to me as a trans guy, but i've recently felt that i should no longer call myself that/should just "go back to" being a girl, and idk if my train of thought makes any sense...so i just wanted to ask someone w more experience (but feel free to ignore this rant/call me out if im not making sense btw)

so yeah, my cousin's been out to me as a (binary) trans man for a few years now, and in trying to find understanding, i came out to him a few months later, but got a very flat/kinda disgusted reaction. despite my consistent support for him over the years, he has continued to "joke" about my looks/short hair and dismisses any attempts at serious conversations or even just jokes about gender/being a guy too. he also calls me things ive told him makes me uncomfortable (gender-wise) and then acts like it means nothing. he generally brushes me off by telling me to stop trying to compare myself to him, and is either prickly about it or just in-your-face "idgaf what you're talking about and i'm tired of you." it barely hurts me anymore, but ive felt connected to trans-ness for so many years (longer than id even known he was too) and his reaction to this part of me has honestly made me wonder if i'm just making it up/am trying too hard or something,,,like maybe i'm just trying to cover for being a gross 20-somethings woman ?? idk ?

i'm probably just being over-sensitive, and i dont feel it's outright malicious or anything (maybe he just doesn't think/care about it as much as me?), but i have nobody else to ask (no irl friends/people im out to) and i'm currently renting/living with him, which has brought these worries to the forefront. thanks if youve read this far, but please don't feel pressured to respond!

Your cousin sounds like he has a lot of internalized transphobia he's directing at you. Unfortunately there are trans people who try to prop themselves up and make themselves feel more confident in their transness by tearing down others. You are not being over-sensitive, and regardless of what he thinks he's doing, he's actively being cruel to you. You are well within your rights to be hurt by his actions. Living with someone who is constantly being transphobic to you is traumatizing- detransitioning can be a coping method for those who have to constantly defend themselves from transphobic abuse.

If its possible, I would recommend trying to see if there are any queer orgs in your area you could connect with (physically or online). At the least, you may find some people who can give you emotional support, and they also may be able to find you a better living situation. Even if that's not possible right now, keep reminding yourself that his behavior is cruel and you are allowed to be upset about it. You do not need to take any of his opinions on your gender seriously. You are not making up your transness or trying too hard. You are not over-sensitive, you are being hurt.

[meggannn]

if you are a famous pizza joint and over the years you cook me several pizzas I fall in love with, and then over time you suddenly rebrand to only make hamburgers, I like hamburgers on occasion, but it’s weird if you still call it a pizza

I didn’t get used to coming to your store for hamburgers. in fact your previous owners established a really good reputation for making pizza and I don’t necessarily believe you can make good hamburgers cause you don’t have the best track record with rebranding to other things. you tried to make conveyor belt sushi that one time and it sent some people to the hospital so I get very nervous when you start experimenting.

then your chefs take to social media and start saying “those old critically acclaimed pizzas of ours that you loved so much always had some bad flavors, so in our new hamburgers, we actually tried hard to make the tomatoes taste good. these hamburgers are the Best We’ve Ever Done, You Should Preorder Our Hamburgers”

you are now boasting about how delicious your patties are. now I tried your sliders one time a few years ago out of boredom and they were fine, it wasn’t really for me, but whatever. and now I notice how the first people in line for your hamburgers today are talking about how they can’t wait to rip off the buns and all the other toppings and lick their patty’s bald head till it says “oooh I never should've left you, vhenan, oooh.” i’m mostly a vegetarian these days anyway. please stop talking about patties. I don’t fucking care you brought over the same plates and wallpaper and fishtank when you redesigned your restaurant. for $60 I want to eat a good pizza. even a pizza-flavored hamburger. is there anything on this menu that will suit me?

then I go online to see if anyone else feels the same nervousness. and I meet several other people who say yeah, this is not pizza, the only good pizza they’ve ever made was back when they made only margherita; some others who say yeah it’s weird, but I like hamburgers so it’s whatever; several other critics are just bigots who stand outside the store lobbing feces at the windows because this store also serves rainbow-colored pizza-hamburgers; and several others who say removing the cheese from the pizza-hamburger isn’t actually that big a deal, and neither is removing the tomatoes, or the bread, or the sauce, because enjoying pizza is about the Experience and the Ambiance, so they’re going to love this hamburger anyway because come on, it’s the pizza joint! the classic pizza joint! don’t you miss eating their classic pizzas?? now I have never straight-up told anyone to not buy the hamburgers, and yet when I or anyone else mentions missing when this place served pizza, I get alluded to as a pizza tourist with intentions on par with the aforementioned poo-slingers.

if I then see reviews have come out with video footage they even the tomatoes, which are a commonly agreed element in both pizza and hamburgers, are no longer is up to the quality of any acceptable hamburger joint much less this pizzeria in its heyday, it’s gonna ruin my appetite for your hamburgers entirely, much less anything else that comes out of that kitchen. that was the ONE connective tissue between pizza and hamburgers that I cared about; the one thing that everyone looks forward to from you, specifically, even. and if some folks say “hey, even if this is a hamburger joint, it’s a bad sign that these tomatoes look like they’ve been dug out of the garbage and cut by a nine-year-old, and I worry because I don’t want to see you on the internet later complaining about food poisoning, god forbid, or worse, telling people that mild food poisoning is part of the experience,” I think it’s baffling that people shoot back with “why don’t you buy the hamburger before judging if it has food poisoning for yourself?” as if you and I don't deserve better for sixty goddamn dollars than to have to guess whether a hamburger with a dead fly in it is going to ruin our weekend.

look, even if I weren’t very bitter about my favorite pizza joint changing, I think that people who like hamburgers also deserve a better foodie experience for their time and money, no matter what it is, and we are lying to ourselves if we say all the basic ingredients of pizza never really mattered and everything was just window dressing for like, all those decorative background plates and wallpaper that one guy designed 20 years ago. that one guy is still arguing with fans of his old pizzeria on twitter ten years after he even left the place, so I don’t really care what he thinks.

this restaurant’s menu items, whether pizza or hamburger, costs $60 and take several dozens of hours to sit at your restaurant and enjoy. now I have signed up for your dinner experience in the past despite my wariness and been proven wrong, because enjoying your enormous, delicious pizza for hours has been a highlight of my food experiences since I even started calling myself an #eater. even if I dislike how you’ve used some anchovies or chicken bbq toppings in the past, I actually enjoyed when you changed my other favorite menu item into tacos earlier, even if the taco’s faces looked kinda funny.

and I’m sure your staff worked very hard on these hamburgers under extreme conditions; maybe you had Jeremy Allen White screaming HANDS HAIRSTYLES in your ear back there for 10+ years, and that sucks. while I have not forgotten that you axed several of your line cooks (who designed the recipes you’re now serving) just before the finish line, I am sympathetic that this is a make-or-break moment for your restaurant. you’ve borrowed too much money from Uncle Jimmy and if this doesn’t work, we might not see you stay open for long. I do not want that to happen.

but i do not owe this place my patronage just because they still call themselves a pizza joint. they changed too many menu items. I am no longer their ideal clientele. I don’t have all the time and money in the world to waste on hamburgers I know will make me unhappy and I’m tired of being alluded to as a “tourist” for sharing my concerns about the future of one of my favorite restaurants.

so with a very heavy heart, I realized that I’ve kind of... outgrown this pizza-hamburger joint. I don’t care if the hamburger patty gets redeemed anymore. just across the street, supergiant’s gyro truck is putting out ten times the quality that I see from your hamburgers while also providing excellent weekly menu changes based on customer feedback, and metaphor refantazio’s pizzeria is just standing there as a quiet restaurant of the year contender, and oh hey, is lego horizon adventures opening next month? and literally any of those are looking like a wonderful palate cleanser to all of... this.

[stonylovessteve]

2024 Creator Reveals

We’ve reached the end of the exchange and that means it’s time to reveal the creators of all our works.

Thank you for putting so much love and effort into Stony Loves Steve 2024, you really made it a great experience. We hope everyone loved it as much as we did!

Giftees, be sure to leave a comment and kudos on your gift if you haven’t already. All our creators worked hard to make this event a success, so show them some love.

You can now post your work publicly outside of the exchange. Tag it as #stonylovessteve2024 on tumblr and we’ll reblog you. @ us @stonylovessteve on twitter and we’ll retweet you.

Below the cut is the final list of all the works produced for the exchange and the creators.

Still Halfway Human, Just Going Through It by Becci_chan for soliloquent (MCU, 9.9k Words)

Stark Industries was still an incredible place to work. Everyone seemed so dedicated and smart and ambitious, it truly reminded him of Howard and his vision for the future. Steve had even seen Tony Stark a few times in passing or when he made his rounds and talked to Steve’s superior in the office, but he hadn’t talked to him more than a greeting in passing. He wasn’t even sure Tony, who insisted on being called by his first name, had actually noticed him during these times. Steve had noticed him all the more.

Give me the luxuries of life by BladeoftheNebula for Thahire (MCU, 4.9k Words)

Four times Steve reluctantly dabbles in a little luxury + one time he leans into it wholeheartedly

Hot Bouncer by Infinitywrites for Becci_chan (MCU, 2.7k Words)

‘Hey Steve, We had a very interesting last night. Love to stay and elaborate on that but have to take my playful pet baby – Toothless  for a run. Left some hangover cure you might need. Feel free to use the shower or anything else you need. Be back soon. T.S”

The Long Game by betheflame for waywardmillennial (MCU, 2.6k Words)

Steve prided himself on being a patient man, he really did. He had stared down Nazis, and HYDRA officers, and the British Press on that one horrible media tour. He could spend hours plotting strategies for situations which may never happen but might, and he had been known to accompany Pepper on her stress-relief shopping trips. Steve could hold his tongue. Steve could outmaneuver his opponent. Steve could play the long game. That last donut broke all of that.

not a lot, just forever by Thahire for AirlocksandAviaries (MCU, 2.7k Words)

A few months after the Battle of New York, Tony invites Steve over to see the apartment he has built for him. Steve, of course, is totally normal about this and not panicking at all.

give me your number (i’ll give you mine) by ishipallthings for BladeoftheNebula (MCU, 1.2k Words)

Somehow, Tony freaking Stark showing up at the store isn’t Clint’s biggest shock of the day.

Cap’s Comics by sadieb798 for robertdowneyjjr (AA, Comic)

The local newspaper/magazine/online publication runs a comic about the Avengers — from thwarted robberies to statues come to life, they are sort of like funny little recaps of the team’s latest missions that New Yorkers have witnessed. Then the comics start becoming more… domestic, showing the Avengers at home during game nights and weekend brunch. There are even a few where Cap and Iron Man go on a date together. The team comes across these comics and no one realizes Steve’s the artist. After all, the drawings are barely better than stick figures, and Steve’s art is much more refined than that… right?

i live in a city that lives in a different age by soliloquent for ohjustpeachy (MCU, 10.8k Words)

Steve Rogers has fourteen days to complete fourteen therapy homework assignments.

Five Times Steve Woke Up Early (And One Time He Didn’t) by AirlocksandAviaries for ABrighterDarkness (MCU, 8.3k Words)

Steve’s not actually a morning person, despite his body’s insistence. It’s quite possibly the one thing about the serum he’s not immensely grateful for. Forcing himself up and on a run to burn through the overwhelming, restless energy that builds bright and early would be much more tolerable if it were a few hours later. Tony decides to do something about this.

Steve is a (Wonderful) Person But A Terrible Patient by Neverever for sadieb798 (MCU, 3.5k Words)

Tony is assigned a new patient, Steve Rogers, who has a lot of medical issues and Tony is ready to help. But he finds he has something to learn from Steve.

Come With Me by ChocolateCapCookie for meidui (MCU, 3.4k Words)

“Do you have any plans for the weekend?” asked Tony. “Besides trying to volunteer at every charity in New York, of course.” Or the one in which Tony isn’t sure if Steve is a stalker or just a really, really good guy.

I surrender to you(only you) by captainstars for AvengersNewB (MCU, 1.6k Words)

He doesn’t know if the first time is a mistake. The phone rings. The sound is so unnatural that Steve almost doesn’t answer it. And then he scrambles for it, but the finger that presses on the answer button is still impossibly gentle. ‘Steve,’ Tony mumbles. Steve squeezes his eyes shut. It’s late in the night, but no one in the compound sleeps. It’s quiet nevertheless, and for a moment the only response Tony gets is Steve’s rasping breaths as he tries to gather what is left of himself.

Courting the Old Fashioned Way by zappedbysnow for Infinitywrites (AU, Art)

There’s a new mechanic in town. He bought a small ranch and fixes cars on the side. Steve is just being neighborly, welcoming him with some pie. It has nothing to do with the guy being cute. Nope. Not at all.

in the laundry room by wingheads for captainstars (616, Art)

steve isn’t so much ashamed by getting caught holding tony’s underwear in his hand as he is aroused by catching tony secretly wearing his jacket.

my curse is that I bill by the hour by picturecat for Fluffypanda (MCU, 5.5k)

Steve Rogers, the 21st century, and his no-good, really awful, legitimately-cursed first week in it.

(you look so lovely) running through my head by robertdowneyjjr for tinystark616 (MCU, 5.9k)

All his life, Steve has dreamed of a gorgeous brown-eyed brunet genius who’s too smart for everyone around him. Everything points to these being soulmate dreams, but that doesn’t make any damn sense when it seems like Tony’s in some far off future and Steve is just trying to get through a life of illness and poverty in 1930’s Brooklyn. Against all odds, they meet anyway.

In the Depths by waywardmillennial for WikketKrikket (MCU, 5.1k)

Prompt: Steve gets pranked on national TV as part of a charity TV fundraiser. It’s embarrassing, and leaves him feeling shaken in a way he didn’t anticipate. But it was for a good cause. So he’s fine with it. Really.

you’ve really missed a trick when it comes to love by meidui for ChocolateCapCookie (MCU, 2.3k)

Steve thinks he’s happier than he’s ever been, or at least he should be. This is the closest he’s ever come to having everybody he loves in one place and the Compound doesn’t echo with emptiness anymore, and he’s seen more of Tony in the past few months than he has in the last seven years. He’s still getting used to being with Tony again, this softer, older version of him, and how difficult that makes keeping his hands to himself because all he wants to do is touch him.

good enough for you by tinystark616 for Neverever (MCU, 4.6k)

Steve is having self-esteem issues because he feels like he isn’t good in bed. Tony finds out and decides to do something about it.

All I Need by VenomousSoliloquy for purpleicedteas (MCU, Art)

Sometimes Steve finds himself lost in doubt. Tony always knows exactly what he needs.

Summer Whispers by ABrighterDarkness for starksnack (MCU, Art)

Tags include ‘horseback riding��� but there is no provided summary.

my plus one has a plus four by starksnack for zappedbysnow (MCU, 7k)

five first date attempts + one first date

Magnum Opus by FrankTheSnek for wingheads (MCU, 6.3k)

Magnum opus (noun): a great work; a large and important work of art, music, or literature, especially one regarded as the most important work of an artist or writer. Steve does not believe in true mates, they are just an old wives’ tale. The man he has been dreaming of and turned into his greatest masterpiece is just an imagined muse and nothing more… Right?

Now and Then by Wikketkrikket for picturecat (3490, 10.6k)

Things haven’t been right between Steve and Natasha since she got back from a business trip overseas. How did things go so wrong, and can Steve make them right again? Also; they’re trapped in a basement.

Just Right by AvengersNewB for LadyGigi (MCU, 2.3k)

Omega Steve wears sexy lingerie, even though he’s deeply insecure about the way he looks in it. Alpha Tony is there to show him how perfect he is; wearing the lingerie and in general.

I’m on fire, but I’m trying not to show it by Fluffypanda for FrankTheSnek (MCU, 2.3k)

Steve misses being an omega. Tony helps him out with that.

Wish You Were Here by One and Five Nines for ishipallthings (MCU, 1.8k)

Steve starts sending Tony postcards

[Comic] Man Out of Time, Fish Out of Water (Prologue) by LadyGigi for VenomousSoliloquy (MCU, comic)

Mermaid Steve is swimming to the ocean surface with a bag full with human trinkets for his friend, Sam, to demystify when he comes across a red comet in the sky- at least that is what it looks like until it flies over him, revealing its humanlike form, and crashes into the water near the human island. Steve must decide if he will heed the warnings of his kind or investigate this once in a lifetime occurrence.

[shikariix]

One for all please gimme

I knew you would do this to me AND YET

Emily okay on your own by mxmtoon (feat. Carly Rae Jepsen)

Ohhhh I love this song so much. The vibe is so tasty. This song suits the way Emily has dealt with the majority of her relationships - she's been the one to break up, saying she needs time to herself; that she's not the right person for the other; just generally she's always the one to break it off because she doesn't believe in the relationship anymore. She's not proud of it per se - if anything, she craves a loving relationship. It's just that the ones she's had made her feel like she couldn't breathe. (Of course all of this changes with Beca 😌)

Rahat Burn The House Down by AJR

why DID I add this to his playlist Rahat has a lot of trouble with his identity and once he's clean all of that will come catch up with him at the speed of light. I like how many questions are asked in these lyrics. He's always been the guy to do whatever his friends ask him to, and considering the kinds of friends these were, he's done plenty of stuff that a law abiding citizen would not. I like that this song presents the you-person as a liar because I do imagine these friends have lied to him plenty, and as he's finding his own identitiy, he becomes more aware of what he thinks of that, if that makes sense.

Anna Tears by The Tragic Thrills

I like the vulnerability in this song. Anna is someone who lives by her feelings and she's got a LOT of 'em. It's important for her to remember (and she'd remind others of this constantly!) that it's a good thing to feel so much. We DO have hearts that bleed and maybe we ARE better off having tears so we can weep. I don't have much else to say about it I'm afraid fhjfgf It's a pretty straightforward analysis.

Sara Ghost by Halsey

Okay well part of this is that Sara likes bad girls FDHJGFHJ leather jackets & teasing,,, There's just something about a rulebreaker that draws her in even though she herself follows any rule ever given to her. I think I put this song in here more for the vibes and maybe the feeling that she's lost connection with herself? I might be bullshitting this rn but when I think of her asking 'where did you go' I think more about her inner child as she had to act like a grownup at a very young age because of her upbringing and her mother's disability. Her child self definitely left nothing more than a ghost behind and I think she mourns that more than she would care to admit. But this is probably not the best song to use for this dfhgfjh

Katy Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson

DFJHF I know this is like a post-breakup song but for Katy (who is just 16yo) I picked this one because of its unabashed confidence!! Teens do be feeling like nothing can get them down sometimes. She also does have a tendency to think she doesn't need anyone else, partially because finding out she was adopted (single dad) was not the best experience for her. So she says screw it!! I'm cool enough anyway on my own. ✌️

Gabriella The Killing Kind by Marianas Trench

Oh I am SO PLEASED Marianas Trench made it in here hehe. This song gives me super vivid visuals of Gabriella breaking out of the shack she was being held captive in. For context, she's a mutant (like a lot of my OCs FHDJF but it's not always as relevant) and was taken hostage by a group of people who want to eradicate them and she got tortured for information for decades. Gabriella's power is airokinesis, and when a tornado hits the shack, it gives her an incredible powersurge. She uses the wind to break free and take down her captors. And yes, that does include some killing :)

Tiffany #SELFIE by The Chainsmokers

OMG THIS HAS ME BARKING WITH LAUGHTER FDHJFG. Tiff LOVES gossip and selfies, she's chronically online in the bad way hfdgjhg I just can't even find the words to describe how much this song vibes with her 😭 The bitchiness and drama of it all I'm YELLING this was the best one to end on

[bellofthemeadow]

The Road Ahead - Epilogue | Frankie Morales x female reader

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

For most of your married life, you dedicated yourself to waiting for Frankie. After each deployment, you patiently awaited his return, longing for the moment when he would be by your side again. During those nights when nightmares consumed his thoughts, you yearned for him to open up to you, hoping that he would find solace in sharing his pain. And as his addiction spiraled out of control, you held onto the hope that he would recognize his problem and seek help. However, despite your countless protests and pleas, you now find yourself waiting for him once more as he ventures off to Colombia, engaged in God knows what.

But this time is different. Determined, you make a solemn promise to yourself: You will never wait for Frankie again.

Rating: M for Mature (18 + no minors allowed)

Word Count: 4K

Warning: Applicable for the entire fic / PTSD, drug use and addiction, postpartum depression, abusive familial relationships, self-hatred, unhealthy coping mechanism, explicit sexual content, violence, mentions of suicidal thoughts, super angsty

Chapter Summary: This isn't the end, rather it is just the beginning of the rest of your life.

Notes: All right everyone, this is it. I can't believe this story is over, I am so happy I took the plunge and started to post online. This experience has been wonderful and you all have been amazing. Thank you to everyone who commented, liked or reblogged this story you guys helped me so much when I thought about giving up. If ever anyone wants more content from this universe I'd be more than happy to answer any prompts or asks. Now I am unto my Joel Miller x reader fic, I know a bunch of you want to be tagged and I am working on figuring out how :D

Hope you all enjoy this last chapter and in the meantime, take care of yourselves and I love you all very much xoxox

Family

"Here you go, a large sparkling water with three slices of lemon. You know I would've made a lemonade if you wanted; it would probably taste better than that stuff. Smells sour as hell." Will puts the large glass on the small table next to the pool lounge chair. You smile over your sunglasses.

"Thanks, Will. I really appreciate it," you express with gratitude. "Lemonade is just too sweet, these days only something that packs a good sour punch can even begin to curb my cravings. I think that if I send Frankie on another midnight hunt for Warheads, he might just end up moving back in with Alma," you add playfully, a mischievous glint in your eyes. As you speak, you pluck one of the large lemon slices off the glass and eagerly sink your teeth into the tangy, bitter flesh, savouring the burst of sour flavour hitting your tongue.

Will scrunches his nose. "Fish told me he saw you put a whole bag of Sour Patch Kids in your vanilla milkshake last week. Anything else we gotta be worried about, except for major heartburns and fried taste buds?" Will teases. You playfully put one of your hands on your taut round stomach. "Gotta keep the little one happy, and he insists that a milkshake with Sour Patch Kids is the breakfast of champions." Will smiles, trying to hide his amusement. "Hope you're still getting all of your food groups, though." You roll your eyes in jest. "My goodness, you're worse than Frankie. Don't worry, this isn't my first rodeo. I know what I'm doing." Will raises his hands in surrender. "My apologies didn't mean to offend. I know you know what you're doing. I just want to make sure you're all right.” A pause, as pregnant as you are, emerges “Are you alright?"

A giddy smile makes its way to your face. "Better than ever. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about, Will. I am thriving," you exclaim as you shimmy your shoulders in a little up-and-down dance. Will softens at your little display. "I am glad, then. You know I am always there if you need anything, right?" "I know, Will. And thank you." You hum in response before a comfortable silence opens between you two as Will looks over to where his brother is trying his best to not burn the burgers under Pope’s disapproving glare.

You gasp as you feel your baby start kicking you as if there's a goddamn karate class going on near your ribcage. You hold your breath for a second, feeling the rhythmic movements, before the kicking recedes. You lovingly place your hand on your stomach, feeling the gentle flutter within. "Are you okay? Is anything hurting? Do I need to get Fish?" Will's voice is filled with genuine concern.

You let out a joyful laugh. "No, no, don't worry, it's all right. Don't bother Frankie; he seems very focused on his task at hand." With a playful gesture, you wave your hand in Frankie's direction, where he's holding a not-so-little Ella just above the water, teaching her the proper way to kick her small pudgy legs to stay afloat. Despite being just over 3 years old, Ella is more interested in gleefully splashing her papa with water kicks than learning any of the supposed swimming techniques. Frankie, however, looks absolutely delighted, and after a particularly vigorous splash to his face, he playfully plunges Ella with him underwater. When they resurface, Ella is screeching with excitement, her tiny fists reaching out to grab her father.

Both you and Will can't help but laugh at the adorable display, shaking your heads with fondness. You return your attention to your growing bump and softly caress it. "When I was pregnant with Ella, she was the calmest little baby around. It all changed when she was born; then she turned into a little tornado," you reminisce, a hint of amusement in your voice. "I hope that since this little one enjoys using my bladder as his personal trampoline and keeps me up until the early hours of the morning, it means he'll be a little ray of sunshine after he is born."

You feel another kick, causing you to huff in response. Your eyes shift to Will, who looks amazed by your side, and you can't help but smile. "You want to feel it?" you ask, noticing Will's uncertainty and the hesitation in his eyes. "Come on, I'm sure he's excited to meet his uncle." Seeing him struggle a bit more, you take matters into your own hands, guiding one of Will's hands decisively to your round, 6-month bump.

You both wait with bated breath, but it's not long before your little karate champion makes himself known. "Woah, that's insane! Does it hurt a lot?" "It's uncomfortable, but nothing that I can't handle." Honestly, you love how rambunctious your little baby boy is. Since you started feeling him, some of your best memories were you sitting on the couch with Frankie's hand sprawled over your taut stomach and Ella sitting in your lap, talking to her soon-to-be baby brother.

"It's been great, magical really. Couldn't ask for anything better." You gulp the last of your sparkling water and suck another lemon slice into your mouth while Will shakes his head affectionately. "I am glad to hear it. We were all a bit worried when you two announced this new baby. I guess we were a bit scared Frankie was going to fall back into... old destructive habits. But I guess we were worried for nothing." Will gulps from his beer, while you munch on your slice of sour heaven.

"I was worried too, don't get me wrong," you admit, a hint of vulnerability in your voice. "Those first few weeks, I was so afraid Will. Couldn’t keep my eyes from Frankie, I hovered like one of his helicopters, like I already condemned him you know. God, I could barely sleep. But now, looking back, I realize that we were all worried for nothing."

You pause for a moment, a sense of pride evident in your words. "It's going to be three years in two months, you know. Three years of sobriety." A spark of excitement lights up your eyes as you share your plans. "I'm planning a pretty big party to celebrate, so you and Ben better clear your schedules for late May," you say playfully, wagging your finger in front of Will's face, reminiscent of a mom giving orders to her child. Will responds with a smile, placing his hand over his heart in a salute stance. "Roger that," he affirms seriously.

You smile, relishing in the tranquillity of the moment, before feeling a pair of wet arms envelop you from behind. An equally wet torso presses against your back, and you can't help but let out a playful screech as you try to wiggle your way out of the tight embrace. Your legs flail in the air as Frankie's nose nuzzles against your neck, eliciting a tickling sensation, and his hands dance across your side. You laugh so hard that tears fall down your eyes, while Will is laughing even harder at your predicament.

"Stop it, Frankie! You're getting me all wet!" You can feel Frankie's smile turn devious against your neck as he hikes up toward your ears and whispers low enough so that Will wouldn't hear. "That's not what you were saying last night when I was getting you wet. You were a bit louder, screaming my name for 'More, more, Frankie!'" He finishes his sentence in a shrill tone, a poor imitation of your voice. You swat him, feeling heat rushing to your body.

Will looks at both of you with a knowing smile before teasing you more. "You look overheated. Maybe you should lie down for a bit." "Shut up, Miller," you grumble. "I can't believe you two are ganging up on me!" you exclaim dramatically.

"Sorry, mi cielo," Frankie begins, attempting to untangle his arms from your side, but you swiftly grab hold of him, keeping his arms right where they were. "Don't you dare, Morales," you assert, a hint of playfulness in your voice. Frankie responds with an affectionate eye roll, nudging your side in response. "Let me tell you, Will, pregnancy makes them hard to follow," he remarks, attempting to defend himself. You let out a displeased huff, not fully convinced. "Don't talk as if all women are a monolith," you retort.

"Sorry, you are right, mi cielo," Frankie says reverently, acknowledging your point. However, a mischievous glimmer dances in his eyes as he turns to face Will. "Pregnancy makes this one hard to follow," he playfully adds, eliciting laughter from all three of you. You let your head fall back onto Frankie's firm torso, playfully nipping at his jaw. "You shouldn't be mean to me. You know it's your baby who's been using me as his private target practice," you retort with a hint of mock indignation.

Frankie's expression softens as he leans in to kiss the top of your head. "You are right. Will my beautiful pregnant wife forgive me?" You respond with an exaggerated haughty tone, pretending to consider his plea. "Maybe, what do I get if I grant you leniency?"

"We could stop by Sonic after the BBQ, grab..." "Milkshake and Sour Patch Kids?!" You screech. "Forgiven, completely forgiven!" You exclaim excitedly. You hear Will laugh in front of you. "You two are a sight to see, making me believe in love and all that jazz." "What can I say? You won’t find a woman like my beautiful wife on every street corner. I gotta make sure that she is as happy as possible. Can't lose her, so if that means that everything in the house tastes like lemon or acid mouthwash, then so be it."

"Where is our little tornado?" you crane your neck trying to check your surrounding as you realize that Frankie came to see you alone. Frankie points back to the pool where she is getting thrown around by an overexcited Benny. It was a hard process to get Benny and Frankie's relationship back to what it used to be. Both men bruised, Frankie believing that Benny wanted to replace him in your and Ella's life, and Benny angry that Frankie would think so low of him.

It was only after you and Will had conspired to lock them in the Miller's basement for an entire day that things had begun to repair themselves. When you had come back with Will and opened the door, you had seen the two men sitting down, their backs against the hard concrete walls, and a bunch of beers littering the unfinished floor. You had scrunched up your nose, put your hands on your hips, and spoke in the same tone you used when Ella was misbehaving. "Are you two ready to get along, or do we need to lock you in overnight?" Will had stood behind you like a bouncer, ready to throw hands if necessary.

But in the end, both men had simply laughed and, clearly drunk, had held onto each other as they scrambled to their feet. The sight would have been rather pathetic if it wasn't for the laughter the two men were sharing. They assured you that they were the best of friends again before launching into a long-winded explanation, cutting each other off with "You know I would die for you, Ben" and "Nothing compares to you, Fish. You are the best man ever." All in all, it was a good result, one that you and Will were satisfied with. You had let the two men leave after getting them to promise that they would start getting along again, which led to another rant on promises, brotherhood, and love. So yeah, satisfied.

Now it was as if all those awkward months between the two men had never existed, and their bond was stronger than ever. Frankie didn't feel insecure that Benny was Ella's favourite uncle (although that changed every day and highly depended on who brought the biggest gift or the sweetest treat—today it was Benny with the new rendition of "Mermaid Barbie"). And Benny was just happy to be a part of your extended family of six.

Frankie tenderly strokes your belly, his touch filled with love and gratitude, before locking eyes with you. In that silent exchange, you offer him an encouraging nudge with your shoulder, urging him to speak his mind. Frankie coughs, trying to mask his nervousness, before finally gathering his words. "Actually, Will, there's something we wanted to ask you," he begins. Will nods, signalling for Frankie to continue. "You know how challenging these past couple of years have been, overcoming my struggles with drugs and everything. But through it all, you've been there for me. You've helped me immensely with the court case, my sobriety, and supporting the girls. I feel incredibly fortunate to have you as my brother, Will."

Touched by Frankie's words, Will's expression softens, genuine gratitude shining in his eyes. "Fish, we're family. I'd move mountains to help you, and your work at the VA has been remarkable. The conferences you lead on addiction and recovery for veterans are making a real difference. I should be thanking you.” A tinge of embarrassment colours Frankie's cheeks, his friend's compliment catching him off guard. Ever since Frankie achieved sobriety and regained his piloting license, Will arranged for him to lead weekly conferences at the VA. Frankie would meet with a group and talk about his experience, the importance of speaking up and opening up, the importance of seeking help, and how it wasn't a failure to help yourself and be there for those you love. Frankie had flourished in this role, finding purpose and fulfillment.

"But really," Frankie continues, breaking through his momentary bashfulness, "I wouldn't be where I am today if you hadn't paved the way for me at the VA. For that, and for everything else, we want you to play a significant role in little Javi's life.”

Will frowns in incomprehension. "Well, I intended to be a part of Javi's life. You don't have to ask so formally." Will teases, while Frankie shakes his head. You come to the rescue, placing a comforting hand atop your husband's, resting on your growing belly.

“What Frankie is trying to ask, Will, is if you would consider becoming Javi's godfather." Will's eyes widen in surprise as if the notion is beyond his wildest expectations. "Me?! Godfather?! Shouldn't you be asking the Pope for something like that!?”

Frankie shakes his head, rejecting the suggestion with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Don't be stupid, ironhead," he retorts. "Pope’s head is big enough as it is being Ella's godfather. And I don't want to inflate his ego any further. Besides, there's no one I'd rather have as my boy's godfather than you."

You see Will soften as tears well up in his eyes. "Thank you, Fish. That means... It means the world to hear that," he says, his voice filled with emotion. "I promise I'll do everything in my power to live up to what you expect of me." You can't help but let out a playful snort, knowing all too well that his formal tone is a feeble attempt to conceal the depth of his feelings. Behind that stoic facade, Will is a big softie, and right now he is on the verge of dissolving into a puddle of tears.

Will clears his throat once again, and you notice tears glistening in the tall blond man's eyes. "I... Thank you, Fish... I... I have to tell Ben!" Will scrambles to his feet and exclaims loudly, "Ben, guess who's going to be the godfather!!!" The response is a shocked "WHAT?!" as you spot Ella attempting to use Benny's head as a trampoline. A snort escapes you as you relax against your husband's chest, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. With your husband's strong presence behind you, your daughter happily playing with her uncles, and your baby boy safe and snug in your belly, you softly whisper, "I don't think it can get any better than this."

Frankie's gentle humming resonates behind you, his fingers lazily tracing circles on your growing belly. You turn your head, a quizzical expression lighting up your features as you meet his gaze. A warm smile graces Frankie's lips before he leans in to plant a soft, tender kiss on yours.

"I wouldn't know," he murmurs, his voice a gentle caress. "Every day I spend with you is more wonderful than the last, mi cielo. I can only imagine how tomorrow will surpass even today." His words send a rush of heat through you, a deep feeling of being cherished and adored. One you only feel with Frankie.

You shift your body, the weight of your burgeoning belly making it a slight challenge, until you face Frankie, perched securely on his strong, muscular thighs. He holds you close, ensuring you won't slip, his touch providing both comfort and desire. You love how Frankie can make you feel safe and excited at the same time in an overpowering cocktail of desire and want. You press your lips against his, murmuring against his plump ones, "You have such a way with words, Mr. Morales, and I love you deeply." Frankie's smile blooms against your mouth, his affectionate gaze locked on yours.

"I also know how insatiable you've been lately, Mrs. Morales," he playfully remarks, allowing one hand to wander downwards, firmly grasping a handful of your soft, supple ass. He kneads and squeezes the plushness, igniting a delicious tingling sensation throughout your body. You tease him in response, slowly grinding against him, making sure that no one is looking at the pair of you.

"Ah, but I don't think I'm the only insatiable one here, my love," you whisper mischievously as you feel a bulge growing in Frankie’s swimming trunk. Frankie's breath catches in his throat. "Of course, how could I be anything but insatiable when my wife is out here looking like a goddamn dream." You roll your eyes. "Please, my belly is the size of a basketball, and I'm pretty sure my ankles have disappeared with how swollen they are." Frankie starts kissing your face all over, punctuating each kiss with an endearing word: "Beautiful. My. Beautiful. Girl. Never want anyone else." You feel yourself melt against him.

"OI!" Both you and Frankie turn your heads where Benny stands in the shallow end of the pool, Ella perched on his shoulder, her little hands covering her eyes. Benny's exasperated tone fills the air. "Can you save that for the bedroom, you animals? There are children around!”

"Pendejo," Frankie whispers under his breath, while you try to wiggle out of his grip and gather yourself in a more presentable position. But Frankie holds you where you are. "It's high time you find yourself a girlfriend if you need to get your rocks off looking at my wife and me!" Frankie screams back.

Benny gets all red and huffy, and you can hear some expletives being thrown your way. "Goddamn idiots... acting like high school kids... no shame... A girlfriend?! Idiots." In response, Ella swats him hard on the head where she is still resting and screeches, "LANGUAGE! Mama, 'cle BenBen said a no-no vord!" You smile. "Indeed he did, Estrelita. Looks like Uncle BenBen needs a little punishment!" Ella erupts into laughter, thoroughly amused by the prospect, while Benny's expression betrays a mix of fear and unsureness as Ella proceeds to sway back and forth on his shoulder screaming loudly about the bad language.

"You think we should rescue him?" Frankie asks. You consider the situation before responding with a noncommittal tone, "Nah, he's a big boy, he'll be fine.”

Frankie looks pensive for a second "Do you ever regret it?" he asks, his tone laced with vulnerability.

"Regret what?" you reply, genuinely puzzled by his inquiry.

Frankie's frown deepens, and he searches for the right words to convey his thoughts. "Taking me back. Starting again. No one would have blamed you if you had chosen to leave,” Frankie, for all the work he has been doing for the past three years, for all the individual and couple therapy he has attended, still sometimes feels like a scared little boy, yearning to be good enough for those he loves.

A soft smile graces your face as you gently stroke his cheek, your touch filled with reassurance. You guide his hands to rest on your taut stomach, emphasizing the life growing within. "There is no one I would rather be with than you, my love," you say tenderly. "Nowhere I would rather be than in your arms. You are everything to me—always have been and always will be.”

As Frankie's tears flow freely, his emotions cascading over him, he keeps his forehead pressed against yours, seeking your warm solace and quiet reassurance that he is enough, that he is loved. Frankie’s voice quivers as he whispers, "I love you so much, Mi Cielo. Thank you for everything you have given me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” A tender silence wraps around you both, allowing space for the weight of his words to settle between you. Frankie's murmurs against your collarbone provide comfort, his soft words acting as a balm to your souls. After a minute, Frankie's voice gently resurfaces. "The road ahead looks rather bright," he begins, his tone soft yet resolute, "and I can't wait to keep walking it with you."

Your smile widens, illuminating your face with pure joy as you savour the sweetness of Frankie's words. The road ahead does shine brightly, you think, as you tenderly place a kiss on Frankie's lips. And no matter how stormy it may become, as storms are inevitable on any journey, you are certain that you wouldn't walk it with anyone else by your side but your beloved Frankie. Like the sun and the sky, you are forever intertwined, destined to navigate the highs and lows together, casting light on each other's path.

Loving each other until the end—that's the life you've always wanted for yourself and Frankie and as you feel another kick from your baby boy and feel Frankie screeches excitedly and he start talking to baby Javi (well to your belly) in quick Spanish, praising the to be born baby. And as you spot baby Ella trying her best to run after Will and Benny while Pope eggs her on you thnk back to when she could barely crawl around. Your hands join Frankie and you feel your heart swell with love and happiness, yes this is all that you’ve ever wanted.

Loving each other until the end—that's the life you've always wanted for yourself and Frankie. As you feel another kick from your baby boy and hear Frankie's excited cheer, expressing his love and admiration, you can't help but smile. He speaks to baby Javi in Spanish, filled with warmth and anticipation, knowing that your family will soon be complete.

 Across the yard, you spot Ella as she playfully chases after Uncle Will and Benny. Surrounded by the warmth of your found family, you feel a deep sense of contentment. This is everything you've ever wanted—the love between you and Frankie, the growth and happiness of your children both here and yet to be born, the bonds of friendship that only strengthen over time. Holding Frankie's hand, you know that together you will continue to build a life filled with love, support, and countless moments of joy. This is the life you've always dreamed of, and it fills your heart to the brim with love. The road ahead is bright indeed.

[ahappydnp]

This might be controversial, I don't know. But I honestly don't like Dan's content post coming out nearly as much as pre-BIG. It used to be silly -yes- but relatable videos with one or two edgy jokes thrown in. Now it's ALL "I'm gay, horny and depressed and the world is ending but we also kind of deserve it" ... I know that last part has a lot to do with We're all doomed and Dystopia Daily - like the clue is in the names, I get it. But when it's all jokes like that... where is the lightheartedness? Where is the fun? Where is the relief from the problems of the world? Pre-BIG Dan at least had a better balance with that. Anyway, rant over. Hope it made sense.

mmm normally i'd ignore this kind of ask because it's nuanced and i don't want a dozen more hot takes in my inbox but i get that you're not just criticizing dan as a person but more his content shift so (many) thoughts under the cut:

i think first and foremost it's hard to gage dan as a content creators post BIG because the only content he's consistently made has been dystopia daily and wad (discounting gay & not proud because...you know...)

it's also hard to compare him to his content pre BIG since: 1) the video format is different- DD is a scripted persona heavy talk show format that's more commentary on culture than personal experiences 2) he's not supplementing DINOF with liveshows/regular social media posts + gaming channel videos that showed different (usually softer or more lighthearted) sides of dan and gave the audience a more well rounded perception of him as a person

which i think is one of the biggest ""issues"" people have with DD. it's not even necessarily the content itself (though i doubt anyone would say DD is their favorite content by any stretch), but the fact that the main source of perceiving dan is this heavily edited persona that's a bit too detached from real life daniel howell? because yeah like you said, we know he has a lighthearted side, we know he's actually very kind and thoughtful; however, dystopia daily is about the content, not dan as a person. the product isn't himself anymore which is a massive shift from old content. about dystopia daily as a concept- like i said, the reception from long time subscribers has been basically "i don't love this but i love you and am excited to see you again". it's not BAD it's just not what people watch dan for? it's definitely not something i would click on or enjoy from anyone else, but i love seeing dan in anything and supporting him. and some of it is good! there are some rewatches in there! but yeah if you didn't know him prior to DD you might assume this was just another ~generic angry rich white guy complaining about the world to be edgy~

i don't agree with you that it's ALL "i'm gay, horny, and depressed" and might even say it's not a crime if it was? dan spent the first decade of his career having to edit himself and if he needs a professional second puberty to feel better then go off! am i excited for him to explore more topics or stories or formats?? like absolutely!! but i'm not angry about this era of him getting his bearings. did i love him pretending he doesn't like/has never been around kids when we know for a fact he does? no it felt weird and forced but i get his thinking that he wants DD to be detached from dan. "where's the fun"?- i will say that this year in particular we've seen more of dan's personality online! like the silly little instastories and tweets, he's sharing more about his life (like seriously who would have bet he'd post anything about their japan trip????), him in phil's video + the hair clip. and it's just like the biggest breath of fresh air because that's our dan!!! that laugh!! i know that guy!!! and i do feel like he's ready to incorporate letting people see more sides of him again after giving himself the space and boundaries to readjust after a massive life change. but there have still been bits of him this whole time! the few liveshows he did on tour were fun, him at the tour preshows was PEAK classic dan and he was truly the sweetest during his m&gs (seriously i cannot recommend enough checking out the preshow compilations playlist on youtube or meetdnp on twitter because it's just....god it's so fucking nice to see him being so fucking nice and remembering why he really is special). check out the idb instastories playlists because there are so many gems from the past couple years people forget about!!

i know it hit harder because dan is such a LIGHT and it felt like we lost it for awhile. he didn't lose the kindness or silliness or creativity, he's still dan! he's older and not the same person he was in 2014, but also who is? i'm not the same person i was in my 20s which is a great thing!

change can feel scary, but dan's entire genetic makeup didn't change. i totally get if DD isn't your thing and that is perfectly fine! but i will say if you're mourning the other sides of him, you've got plenty of examples that aren't current main channel videos. i do believe we'll be let back in even more soon though :)

[arabian-batboy]

in your opinion, which stans of the Batkids are the most toxic?

Short answer: All of them, when a character has hundreds of thousands of fans online, then there bound to be a portion of them that is toxic. They might be a small percentage of the over-all fanbase, but their toxicity makes them appear larger in numbers than they really are, but for the most part there’s really not a huge margin between how toxic different fans of the Batkids can be.

Long answer: I have been in the fandom for a couple of years now and I have interacted with my fair share of people across the fandom, so based on my own personal experience, from most toxic to least toxic, they are:

1- Tim’s stans:

To be fair, when Tim’s fans are cool, they’re REALLY cool and very fun to interact with or talk about comics. Unfortunately though, cool Tim’s fans that don't take themselves seriously are hidden gems and a huge amount of them are very very very obnoxious and their shortcoming is that they view Tim through main-character-lenses where everything has to be centered around him and everyone else is a secondary character.

The biggest reason that makes them #1 in my ranking is that they have a serious issue with thinking that Tim is simultaneously the best character to exist while also being the most oppressed character to exist, even though he’s definitely neither of those things and its just really annoying to hear someone go on about how their favorite character is so perfect and better than everyone at everything, while also crying about how their favorite character doesn’t get any love and are constantly mistreated (especially when in reality they actually get more love from DC than anyone in Gotham beside Batman & Harley)

2- Dick’s stans:

If you asked me this question a couple of years ago, they would have definitely been way lower in the list, but I don’t know what happened in recently years that made Dick’s fans so overly-defense and hostile. I understand that fanon Dick has done more damage than any other fanon interpretation of any Batkids, but attacking everyone who make the smallest light-hearted joke about Dick isn’t it.

There’s also those who are so desperate to portray Nightwing as an A-class superhero who’s a master at everything he does and is a total loner edgelord who doesn’t need anyone or has anything fun or cheerful about him and...... just stop, what you’re doing isn’t that much better than fanon portraying Dick as overly-bubbly and I know you think it makes Dick sounds cool, but in reality you just make him sound like a discount Batman.

3- Cassandra’s stans:

They’re very similar to Dick’s fans in that they used to be chill, but in recent years they decided to make their dissatisfaction of DC’s treatment of Cassandra to be everybody’s problem, which includes them popping up to anyone who’s makes the smallest complaint about how their favorite character is currently being treated to yell: “YOU THINK THEY HAVE IT BAD??? LOOK AT WHAT HAPPENED TO CASSANDRA!!!” even if the character they’re talking about literally has ZERO things to do with Cassandra’s character.

Basically their anger is always misdirected and rarely has any positive results or discussions coming from it.

4- Damian’s stans:

I’m a Damian’s fan myself, so I might be biased, but its honestly hard to judge them because I feel like Damian’s fanbase has the most “variety” of any Batkid’s fanbase and it reached a point where some groups stan completely different versions of the same character with each group being toxic in their own special way, so I decided to put them in the middle.

I’m not gonna talk about each of them, but I feel like what all of them have in common is that they tend to over-react to things, even if they are in the right about something, they usually end up pushing too far in the other direction to the point where it blows out of proportion (but to be fair, if you leave them alone, they generally will not bother you)

5- Barbara’s stans:

Lets talk about the elephant in the room from the get-go.........almost all toxic Barbara’s stans are DickBabs shippers, I don’t know why that is and I don’t think everyone who ship them is inherently toxic, but boy are they a loud minority.

If we’re just judging Oracle’s fans then they would probably be the lowest in the list, but stans of Batgirl!Barbara and DickBabs shippers really pumped them up, especially during TT’s run of Nightwing.

6- Jason’s stans:

You know what, I never noticed this before I sat down and wrote this list, but have you noticed how most Jason’s stans are surprisingly very chill? There might be some inner-fighting going on between them, but for the most part they usually stay in their lane and don’t bother anyone unless you came for them first.

7- Duke’s stans:

Again, for the most part they are very chill and usually have great takes for all characters equally, but I feel that just like Dick’s fans, their frustration about Duke’s treatment can get the best out of them and sometimes they might go off on someone who didn’t deserve it because they didn’t like what they were saying.

8- Stephanie’s stans:

I don’t have much to say about them, but I mean come on, when was the last time you saw a Stephanie’s fan-account picking fights with other fans or insulting other characters? I personally haven’t seen one do such a thing before and while similar to Cassandra’s fans, they might give you a sob-story about Stephanie’s treatment, I feel like they’re much better about directing their frustration to DC instead of random people online or other fictional characters.

[spiritofhyena]

@espresso-049

You are lucky because Archangel Gabriel is the only angel I'm currently working with! (I had a brief exchange with Archangel Michael during a couple of readings for other people and never interacted with him since then) I put "angels" plural on my post, but I only have interacted with Gabriel.

As stated in my previous answer, I'm speaking from *my own experience* so it's better to take anything I say with a grain of salt as everyone has different experiences. What I say are mostly UPGs based on my interactions and, of course, it'd be better to check more uh- sources (even if I don't believe I could be considered one lmao) for researching!

Back to the point-

My impression of Archangel Gabriel is that he's very calm and patient. A demon I interacted with called him "stuck up", but honestly I always found him quite chill. One of the first things he told me was that he didn't care if I followed a different deity or worked with demons (although he prefers to not share the same time/space with them), he was open to helping me get better with divination anyway.

I read some posts in a community online that Archangel Gabriel can also show himself with feminine appearances, but Gabriel always felt/talked in a masculine way (idk how to explain it, my native language is simply very binary and always used masculine for himself) so I don't know much about his feminine aspect.

From what I got, he's really good with anything related to communication (writing/poetry is included too) and - in my experience - he helped me a lot with divinations about messages from spirits/entities in general. Relaying messages is his job after all, innit?

With me, he didn't ask for much offerings-wise. He asked for a lit candle during divinations as a sort of offering in exchange for his help and nothing more, sometimes a bit of water... but sometimes I try to offer something "more" if I get the chance. Most of the time I try to leave something for him if I leave offerings for the other entities I work with.

He is pretty pleased with a little origami box I made with light blue paper, that I decorated with some stars in silver and gold markers and some feathers from a washi tape I had. He likes citrine, from what I noticed: when I went to a shop that had some crystals and asked him what he liked, both times he picked citrine quartz.

I read somewhere that the colours associated with Archangel Gabriel are copper and orange other than white, but I feel like that also blue (in any shade), silver and gold would fit him well. Probs also creamy-tan colours could work too, same goes with light grey.

Hmm... what else? As far as "random" things go, I learnt that he likes caramel nougat chocolates, also homemade cookies, coffee with milk in it and fruit teas. Oh, and honey too. And isn't really into alcoholic offerings.

Gabriel's music taste is quite varied, but he mostly picked either instrumentals or pop/pop-rock music on the cheery side for the devotional playlist I made for him.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

hii I dont usually use my account and not go anon but I feel really bad you are getting treated like this and you feel that way. I read your stuff and you are very talented, and you also look like a really nice person, Im not good at this stuff but if you ever want to talk or vent you can talk to me, I know we dont know eachother but I always feel happy to help nice people :) I hope you feel better soon.

This is more likely either from the post early on about school or that comment from puff's post and this made me want to cry, this is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. You people on Tumblr are something else.

Thank you so much, I don't think anyone has ever called me talented before.

To this sweet person, I want you to know that I'm doing okay and that if you ever need someone to talk to as well, I'll be here. Sometimes people online can be far better and far nicer than people you interact to on a daily basis and this proves that further for me.

I'm sorry about the anon thing as well, to anyone who wants to send me anon requests. It's just I've posted about inquisitor and some other things that I got scared of facing criticism on and I've had bad experience with anonymous messages on Instagram before because some people from my class messaged me some not so nice messages. I knew who they were immediately, I just didn't say anything.

This is so sweet, I hope you know and are proud of yourself for making someone's day better even if it's as little as messaging them. Seriously I was just about to start my day and head to school <3

I hope that life treats you well <3

[awetistic-things]

I recently tried to hint at a friend that I’m pretty certain I have adhd (didn’t mention how I also am pretty damn sure I’m also autistic bc ~scared~) my friend herself has adhd & her sibling is autistic. She immediately shut me down saying that my symptoms don’t automatically mean I have adhd. She also mentioned how she can always tell when someone else is also neurodivergent & she’s certain I’m not.

That cut deep but also made me mad at her. Instead of being supportive she made me feel like shit. & scared to ever mention it to anyone again (even tho I’ve done a shitton of research & when I began seeing more BIPOC autistic ppl talk about their experience I knew that was me)

sorry if this isn’t the space to say all this but your blog always brings me comfort so it’s ok if you’re not in a headspace to want to answer this. just felt like venting 🫶🏽

hi !!

i’ve seen a lot of neurodivergent people be extremely defensive and become gatekeepers whenever someone so much as mentions the possibility of them being neurodiverse (especially with adhd and autism) to them

i think that the whole social media trend of people “faking” being adhd or autistic has caused an extensive amount of damage to the neurodivergent community

this community is supposed to be a safe haven for all neurodivergent people, whether they’re self-suspecting, self-diagnosed, officially diagnosed or anything in-between, and sadly that has been tarnished by a few fakers

your friend probably is probably defensive for that reason, or because she might’ve had to fight really hard for her diagnosis and has become very protective over it and thus very aggressive towards you when you brought it up

i do encourage you to continue to try and interact with BIPOC autistic people more, although all autistic people essentially experience the same main traits and behaviors, depending on race, the way those traits and behaviors are received varies wildly

but overall you have a much better chance at having a positive exchange with another neurodivergent person online, rather than in-person, since you can purposely go into communities that you know are probably going to be more welcoming and offer some relatability

it’s very hard going to someone you know in-real-life about you being neurodivergent and just getting shot down completely, it can be super disheartening, but it’s important to remember that there are countless people that you’ve yet to meet that will create that safe space with you to share anything neurodivergent-related and have it be received positively

and thank you very much !! i’m glad that you find comfort here and i wish you much more of it with different places and people as well ❤️

[cuntylouis]

long overly personal age crisis/general mental crisis rant under the cut

I'm turning 26 this saturday and i'm terrified and depressed. I hate sounding like some anti-aging tiktokker but i hate that i'm constantly getting older and can't control it while nothing else in my life seems to change. I know i'm very young but it still feels like i'm running out of time. Most of my peers are ahead of me, they have jobs and relationships and generally full lives. My 2 years younger stepbrother has a successful career, house, wife and child. I still don't even feel like a full adult. Sometimes i feel i've really frozen in time maybe because of trauma and am still just a kid deep down.

My situation is weird because i did have experience with sexual relationships at very early age but i don't consider them real relationships anymore since they were abuse, and then in my adult age i haven't had any relationships. I haven't even kissed anyone as an adult. I'm like a virgin who isn't a real virgin. I want to be in a relationship and experience love and sex but at the same time it feels distant and impossible.

I just graduated (two years late, studying something that doesn't interest me) but i haven't worked other than summer jobs and i'm wondering how am i ever gonna get a proper job. And i don't even know do i want to do work that is related to my field of study since i hate it. I could go studying something else but it's again going to take so much time. I also feel like i'm wasting my potential and i should use my talents for something that actually helps people but i don't know what that would be.

I've made peace with knowing i'm probably never going to be able to transition for various reasons but it still causes me sadness, and again the feeling of running out of time when i'm getting older and missing more and more of years i could've lived openly as myself and i'm always living with this 'what if' thought. Also this sounds incredibly silly in context of everything else but i'm stressing about how my fertility is starting to go lower every year from now on lol. I've deeply wanted to be a parent as long as i can remember but i've wanted to wait until my financial and mental health situation will be better before having children. But what if they will never be? Also i don't necessarily need a nuclear family or anything but i'd like to have a partner i can trust and my child to have other parent too. But what if there will never be a person like that?

My life situation is technically fairly good or at least better than it has been for 15 years but i feel my mental state has gotten almost worse. I've been trying lots of new things and i finally have some friends but i still feel so lonely and hollow. I always have this crushing feeling of loneliness and being an outsider who doesn't matter. I think even on tumblr i have so embarrasingly strong emotional reaction when something even mildly negative happens because i'm so insecure and seek external validation. Like when someone unfollows me i know there's necessarily nothing personal with it but i still feel genuine sadness i'm internally like that you're not rockin wit me i'm going to kill myself meme lmao. And i'm always trying to be as kind as i can towards everyone both irl and online but i still feel worthless and annoying. It's like there's a void inside me that nothing can fulfill or maybe i'm the void myself.

Idek what i'm trying to say or what could help me i just needed try to put my feelings in words i guess

[binarystargames]

Thinking about (a very broad definition of) quarterbacking, especially as it relates to TTRPGs (part 1)

This is going to be a bit meandering and I'm not going to have answers at the end of this post because it's already too fucking long. Bear with me.

Disclaimer/preface: I'm mostly spitballing based on my own experiences as someone who has both seen and done this. I'm sure there are better terms for what I'm saying and that I'm probably reinventing the wheel. I'm fine with that. I know about the killer/explorer/socializer/roleplayer model for multiplayer games already, it's useful and there's definitely an intersection point on a venn diagram of where it interacts with this but it doesn't 100% map to where I'm going with this.

As I mentioned at the end of my post on diceless ideas for APOCALYPSE FRAME, I like the idea of resource-management-based rather than randomness-based methods for tactics games, but I am slightly worried that it would increase the prevalence of quarterbacking.

Typically the definition used for this in this context is: in a setting where everyone is on the same team, one person (the "quarterback") tells everyone else in the group what to do. I'm expanding that definition here into generalized situations where people are telling seemingly-equal peers what to do during a game or even to some degree when people feel pressured/coerced into taking certain kinds of game actions. I like to think of this on two levels:

Strategic. The kind of decision that's made at a high level, usually before anything that actually happens takes place. Quarterbacking here takes the place like someone having to pick a specific class or character or role. If you've ever picked the party cleric because nobody else wanted to be a healer, even if nobody told you to or even suggested it, that's what I mean. The more defined player roles are and the more essential they all are, the more this comes up, but it can also be reflected in things like equipment loadouts.

Tactical. The kind of decision that's made at a per-action, per-encounter, etc level. "Go over here", "do this", "cover X other player", "spend this level of resources but no more", etc. The more important a given action or resource expenditure is, the more this comes up.

Tactical is mostly what I'll get into because that gets to what made me think about this, though I'll probably get back to Strategic later a bit in part 2 because I have a few thoughts there.

Where does this show up?

As much as I'd love to say sports, in seeking a useful definition, I've actually defined it here in such a way that kind of crowds them out: in American football, for instance, it's not intended to be an equal team of people making play decisions: roles are predefined, a play is passed down from a coach to the quarterback to players, and it's up to them to stick to the spirit of the play while interpreting the best course of action along the way. In the context of non-sports, you can see it a lot in video games, board games, and RPGs.

Online games are a big one that comes to mind. There can be a lot of coordination involved and if you're in a group of randos you will inevitably run into someone who decides to tell everyone else what to do. They'll probably start being real shitheads if you ignore them too! Co-op board and card games have this too (I'll get into this more below). And of course, TTRPGs, that's what brought me to the dance after all and got my brain spilling all over the page about it.

Is this actually a problem?

Maybe! It depends! It's a really broad thing I'm outlining here so it's hard to answer.

I think it's a function of expectation going into it. For a lot of groups maybe this is how they like to do things: the strategy person gives out marching orders and everyone else goes along with it, everyone decides party composition ahead of time, etc. If one person is just not as good at using the tools at hand, they might ask for suggestions and that's good! If someone's obviously floundering, suggesting a way out of it is probably also good as long as they're cool with it.

I'm going to use the cases of TTRPGs especially for cases where I think it can be a problem because I reckon there's a few kinds of expression going on that can be at odds. I'm going to make some terms up so bear with me, I'm sure someone way smarter has come up with a better distinction but this is how I'm thinking about it:

Game state expression. This is the "trying to win/lose" or "trying to solve the puzzle" layer. This is where quarterbacking makes the most sense! If you're coordinating to win then coming up with a strategy together, maybe with someone setting it all out, can definitely make perfect sense.

Narrative expression. When you think about an action scene or a fight, usually there's one of two things happening. One, there's a major plot point that's getting resolved by it. This is where you get like "boss fights" and "setpieces". Two, and this is more common, they're pretty low-stakes but are used as a way to show off how characters prefer to do things. Does a vulnerable character keep distance or put themselves at risk? Does a bruiser character pick targets to keep friends safe, to take down easy pickings, or to go for the biggest thing they can see? Do defensive characters mostly keep themselves alive or protect others? This is where I think TTRPGs can really shine. Sub-optimal play isn't strictly necessary for this, but situationally, it can be a way to express this. Quarterbacking often steps on those impulses, but not always: maybe characters are willing to put their personal ways of doing things aside for the greater goal, and that can be narrative development too! But I suspect that's not going to be the response every time.

Personal expression. Sometimes people don't like to do a certain kind of thing, you know? Maybe someone doesn't like their characters having less than half health even if it's like, fine. Maybe someone never wants to spend more than half of their resources "just in case" even when that makes no sense. Maybe someone always goes full auto instead of using bursts because it feels better. Maybe someone only prepares AOE attacks instead of individual-target ones. But it sure would be better for everyone else if they did things that made more sense! This is the one that quarterbacking can really clash with because it's often strictly suboptimal behavior.

I suspect you're going to see quarterbacking be more accepted and less of a problem in video/board/card game scenarios because Win The Game is a lot more emphasized in those, so there's more acceptance of taking some direction from others in order to succeed because that's why we're here. Personal expression still crops up for sure, but aside from like roleplay servers or the more nebulous early phases of an MMO - Dan Olson's example of a WoW player who always stays shoeless and always walks outside of combat and eventually draws the ire of their guild is a great example of that transition, for example - I don't think there's honestly too-too much in the way of narrative expression for multiplayer video games. Your "verbs" and goals are necessarily much more actively restricted too, which furthers this - no matter how you feel about your character or whatever, at the end of the day, W or L is in many cases the thing the game expresses, so that's what folks will aim for. (Some games are, of course, better at this than others.)

Now, this is not to say that I'm drawing a "rollplay vs roleplay" distinction. I would really hope we're several decades beyond that. (I know we're not actually but I like to be optimistic.) What I'm saying is that in a given situation, someone playing the game is going to have several motivations pulling them in different directions, and in a lot of cases any of these can lead to folks telling other people what to do or feeling like they have to do something they don't want to. I mostly think this is a game state vs. other motivations thing but it can definitely happen from narrative or personal angles too: if someone has ever told you that your character probably wouldn't do something, for example, there it is!

Why does turn-based make this more of a thing?

There will almost certainly end up being "correct" decisions, and when there are "correct" decisions, there will always be a frustration in some players when others aren't making them. You can correlate this extremely strongly with the margin for error for victory/etc narrowing: as soon as there's a perception that a binary win/loss is at stake, people will start to do this more. And the longer a game lasts, the more likely this is. The idea of playing a co-op game for 4 hours and losing kind of sucks - much less a campaign that lasts a year and is on the brink of ending in a TPK or whatever!

For turn-based games, you have much more of an opportunity to draw out a turn and figure out the exact optimal thing, and do an "are you sure" or "please do this instead" when someone says the "wrong" thing. In contrast, for a video game that's real-time (and especially one that's remote!) you don't really have a chance to second-guess anyone's course of action, they're just going to do what they're going to do and you can either scream obscenities at them for it or not. Depending on the game, they may not even be able to hear it!

Why does removing randomness also make this more of a thing?

Let's imagine a three-person combo: Person A sets something up with one ability, Person B primes it in some key way with another, Person C finishes it off with a third that ends up as something far greater than the original. Great! This is what co-op tactics games are made of! It's cool when people contribute. We love to see it.

If this works every time, if all of them can be guaranteed to be able to happen, then setting things like this up is the play, no question. If you're Person B, you're guaranteed to be decreasing the value of your actions by doing something that isn't bridging that gap between A and C unless there's a situational reason not to do that. If you can't guarantee any part of that combo happens/will work, though, the value of being able to set those combos up decreases or they'll be much shorter/more conditional to account for it.

This isn't to say it's useless when there's more uncertainty, but there's way more latitude for not sticking to the plan when things have an increasing number of ways they can go off track.

Can't we just solve this by talking it out.

Yes. I feel the need to emphasize this, yes. I've done it in the past. You can always talk to a group of friendly folks to fix almost anything. It's always correct and valid to just talk to people if there's an issue if that's an option. Talk to your friends.

Now that that's out of the way, I think it's a bit of a thought-terminating cliche. Of course you can just ask your friends to knock it off...but that assumes you're playing with friends, and often if you're playing with someone you aren't that comfortable with it's way harder to do - doubly so if that's how they've always played and they're not sure what they're doing wrong. And especially if you're time-limited, like at a con game! "Suddenly become an extrovert" and/or "figure out how to confront people you don't know" is a little beyond the scope of this topic, and if you can teach people how to do that, write a book about it or something.

Ideally I'd like to design and run games so it doesn't feel like it needs to get to that point as often or as quickly. For instance, a game that's wildly poorly designed and unbalanced requires a lot more pulling punches and intentional spotlighting to keep things even-keeled than one that isn't, you know? For traditional GM-centric games it puts a lot of work on them, and even for more distributed-role games it adds a ton of work that doesn't have to be there and expends a lot of energy that could go elsewhere. As such I think there's value in figuring out design and play tools to help myself and others with this (and luckily, there are neat examples to pull from).

Next time.

[futurebird]

My mom hates fiction.

My mom is a really strange person. Not least of her oddities is that she insists that she "hates fiction" -- You'd think this would have upset me more growing up being a kid who was interested in nothing more than making up stories, the more fantastical and detached from reality the better, but it never really bothered me.

There is a kind of villain archetype in children's fiction: the evil one who hates imagination and probably also bright colors and laughter. My mom is nothing like that. Although she does like mathematics, and space documentaries better than any novel. When I still made her read all the stories I'd write she'd always sigh and say "I don't understand why you can't write about something that's real?" I'd try to explain that all the stories were as good as real to me. And I'd get nowhere.

A vivid memory: a long car ride down south, driving at night. We couldn't get the radio to work. No music, no local news. We decided to tell stories to pass the time and keep whoever was driving awake.

I just sat there bursting with ideas hardly able to listen to the other stories. (I'd like to think I could be more mature than that today, but... I can't make any promises.) Everyone told a story and then we got to my mom.

My mom tries to tell stories we already know like "Little Red Riding-hood" and everyone angrily vetoes this choice. "No no no you have to make up a story!" "I can't just... make up a story." "Yes you can. Just make one up. It could be about anything." "... I just can't. How about I tell you the story of David and Goliath--" "NOoooo! Make one up!" "I've never been able to do that."

As a child, I flat out refuse to believe this is true. I remember being angry that she was keeping her story a secret for no good reason. Because, in my mind everyone had a story resting on the tip of their tongue. Threatening to come out if invited or not!

Everyone has to have stories, right? Maybe my mom's stories just didn't seem enough like the goofy over-the-top fantasy and sci-fi tales everyone was telling in the car that night, so she didn't think we'd like them? Maybe. So we moved on to the next person but that always stuck with me. The idea of not having a story just bursting out of you... desperate to be told was confusing. And I wondered if that's really what it was. Everyone has to have stories, right? Maybe my mom's stories just didn't seem enough like the goofy over-the-top fantasy and sci-fi tales everyone was telling in the car that night, so she didn't think we'd like them?

Maybe growing up with 4 very artistic & creative siblings made her feel like giving up on such things: just focusing on her mathematics?

What are people saying when they say "I don't have an imagination?" or "I don't like fiction."

I don't think it's as simple as them being boring people, since the people who say this, in my experience, are far from boring, far from uncreative too. The creativity comes in other places-- but, its there. This is specifically about stories--

--or the kind of thing that people expect when we say "tell me a story."

Sometimes? I feel like I agree with my mom. I enjoy documentaries more than fiction-- a lot of popular fiction is so full of the world and all of the ugliness in the world. Mass media can get me down, the tropes, their predictability get me down. I try not to lean into this too much, I don't want to seem pretentious, after all. But, mass media can be very boring from a certain perspective.

It takes a kind of creativity to breathe life back into it. Like how people online fabricate all of these elaborate backstories and intrigue for characters in mass media. That seems like the only way to have fun with those stories. Maybe my mother just had a bad case of that?

Or maybe it's something else I still will struggle to understand.

So here I am fascinated by the claim of "having no imagination"

I need to write about it!

If you are such a person can you say a little about what's really going on?