#about autism

[floor-tiles]

i am feeling so much more autistic than usual its weird. also that's not in an offensive way I am autistic. I am just experiencing experiences much more autistically than normal?? like my current hyperfixation I almost feel like no hyperfixation I've ever had can compare bc I like can't fucking stop stimming at even a silly little joke and I had a shutdown earlier because I wasn't allowed to buy a fucking book about it???

like I don't even know if i've reacted to anything this severely of I'm I'm just having a day or what but it's kind of scary and I only found out I was autistic like in February but i can still tell I've always been for like ever?? but like it just seems more prominent today. I don't know if that's because I'm trying to unmask or what though because I'd o think I am high-functionning or maybe I'm just hugh masking WHO KNOWS

school starts soon so I can see the guidance counselor abt autism and depression soon so there's that I suppose

[gabrielora]

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.

[rebecca-liz]

So I'm ... probably not autistic, but I'm definitely ADHD and we both mask, and I've spent a lot of time picking other people's brains about "how in the flip do you even think??" so here's what I think is going on: yes, it's a matter of degree (mostly, probably).

Have you ever heard of "emotional labour" in the context of waitstaff? Like, they have to manage their mood to manage the customer's mood, and it's exhausting. This is definitely masking. Similarly, everyone (actually especially NTs!) moderate their behaviour in social settings to match others/be "appropriate".

However, socially modulating (as opposed to fully masking) isn't tiring*, and they can more or less choose how much they're doing it. It's more like - you like purple and you like greens but green is Tariq's favourite colour so you wear green today. You don't feel worse at the end because you didn't wear purple.

*Unless it's in the context of hiding, say, one's sexuality. That's definitely exhausting, and I guess is another form of masking that's not unique to NTs or NDs.

So I guess the differences are 1. how many behaviours does the person I have to mask 2. how easy/difficult are those behaviours for them 3. is there rejection trauma in there somewhere 4. does their job depend on it, and that all controls how much of A Thing it is.

MASKING MYTHS BUSTED: “Masking = Acting NT.”

FALSE.

Autistic masking does not necessarily mean “pretending to be allistic/neurotypical," although you’d definitely be forgiven for thinking it does.

Non-autistic researchers have been referring to it as “camouflaging” for years, framing it as an intentional choice to suppress autistic traits and replace them with allistic ones in order to “blend in.” Doing an internet search on the term will return several similar results.

But now, Autistic researchers are in the game, and their take is much more nuanced and comprehensive than that. (Funny how that happens, isn’t it?)

They’ve found that:

- It CAN be intentional but is often subconscious and involuntary 

- It is a protective response to trauma and feeling unsafe 

- It is often about suppressing more than just autistic traits 

- It is about identity management and being able to predict how people will treat you, not just “blending in”

Some people will lean into being “the bad kid” because they know that’s what people expect of them. Some people will even act “more autistic” because they know that’s what people expect of them. Others still will do things to attract attention in controllable, more “acceptable” ways to avoid attracting attention in unsafe, more stigmatizing ways. Not because they WANT to be that way, but because it lets them predict people’s responses better, which feels safer.

Also, there are Autistic people who can’t “pass” for non-autistic no matter how hard they try. That doesn’t mean they’re not masking. They may actually be working hard to suppress A LOT, they just can’t do everything to neuronormative standards.

None of these people will be accused of “blending in,” yet they are still masking their hearts out. When we assume they are not, we miss all the harm that masking is causing them. But they are suppressing themselves and suffering the consequences of that just as much as any Autistic person whose mask successfully says, “Hey, I’m just like you!”

(For more on this, please see the work of Dr. Amy Pearson and Kieran Rose.)

[mysillycomics]

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

[etherealspacejelly]

me when the disability disables me: oh what the fuck? this sucks. what the hell man!

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Life in an Autism World

[maxillo]

shoutout to autistic people who have memory issues and can't remember many things about your special interests. you don't need to be able to remember things for the interests to be valid or important to you! if you enjoy them that's what matters

[calicorobin]

beanbag chair psychology

[hell-is-a-teenage-girll]

I'm gonna add since people misread.

No the point is not empathy in this post.

There is nothing wrong with different types of empathy levels, all are valid 🩷

What is the point tho, is that people decide what autism is, that we are all the same, what empathy is and automatically assume we either don't have it or must be a bad person if our empathy level is not the same or what they think it should be.

So please, don't speak badly of people with low empathy or whatever level. Cause I say it again.

I don't allow it, I don't condone it, and you are just as valid 🖤

[teleportzz]

"bluntly honest" autism but in the sense that i absolutely cannot refrain from complimenting strangers if i like their earrings or their shirt or i think they have a friendly-sounding laugh or i think their art is beautiful or i think the fic they wrote portrays the characters so well. "bluntly honest" doesn't have to mean "mean". i love to tell people things that are kind and also true.

[autisticarmadillo]

The importance of silence for autistics

Last time I mentioned to someone how hard it is to speak some days, sometimes most days, she said to me, "Oh, yeah, everyone has those moments."

But that's not true.

Everyone, no matter their mental state, has moments or the day occasionally where they simply don't feel like talking to people. But that's not the same as an autistic being nonverbal. For autistics, it's bigger than just "not in the mood to talk".

Disclaimer, everything I'm about to say has absolutely nothing to do with a literal lack of physical ability to verbailize. That is a separate category. This is just about those who are physically capable of speaking.

Because those are are physically capable of speaking have the disadvantage. Because they can, NTs think that they should. Often, that they need to. This isn't true.

Some days, sometimes most days, I lay in bed for a long time after I wake up, despite being an active person and despite this idleness being far from my preferred state. Sometimes, it's just my depression robbing me of the will to function. But most times, it's a desperate desire to just be silent, because I know the minute I get up, the minute I show signs of wakefulness, I'll have to speak.

Words are heavy. Speaking is reaching inside myself and pulling up the weight of the words. And even then, once they reach my lips, sometimes they're jumbled, sometimes they get stuck, sometimes they turn out to be the wrong words after all. It's not just about finding the right words, the right way to say something. Sometimes, it's just about the words themselves being so heavy we don't have the strength to lift them.

So if you know someone who's autistic, and one day they stop talking...let them. Maybe it'll be permanent, maybe it'll be temporary. But in the end, it doesn't matter how long it takes, even if that's forever. Sometimes, what we need more than anything, is the ability to be silent.

I wish I'd been diagnosed earlier. I didn't receive my autism diagnosis until the day after my 21st birthday. As a result, I grew up being forced to mask, and part of that mask was speaking, even when I didn't want to, even when I felt like I couldn't. So even if the person who suddenly goes quiet or simply is quiet isn't diagnosed autistic...let them have that silence.

That includes yourself. If you ever want to just stop talking, if the words seem too much and too heavy, let yourself rest.

[war-forged-storms]

As a kinky autistic person, I love getting to unmask during sex oh my god.

Like getting to just smile and not care what my face is doing while going down on someone or something, getting to make whatever noises I want even if they aren’t overly attractive just because I’m enjoying myself and I want to show it. I love just asking flat out what they want me to do and seeing how they get flustered and stutter out an answer. I love the feeling of satisfaction in a task when I get them to finish. I love saying exactly how I’m feeling and how I feel about them and how much I’m enjoying myself no matter what I sound like while saying it.

Like this is the most vulnerable thing I could think to do with you, of course I’m gonna be my true self

[trustywukkiii]

did you guys know that I like Laios a lot…

[bli-o]

hey autistic people who get overwhelmed by large groups or noise or conversation or etc etc etc you’re not evil for wanting to leave a family gathering. just so you know.