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haworthiaace · 4 years ago

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Magic Misfits AU

Ok so basically we made an au based off of the fact that Scar kept calling his village the village for magical misfits. Scar finds out that he somehow ended up on a server for magical misfits, and now he’s created a sort of safe haven within the server, so naturally they flock to it. Some hermits don’t surprise him, the ones that don’t really bother making an effort to hide their magic, or the ones who can’t hide it. But some hermits deeply confuse him. Chaos ensues.

TLDR Scar becomes a magical therapist for the hermits

Scar is a wizard, he doesn’t really specialize in anything besides his crystals, which is why he’s able to help with a variety of magical issues. He ends up becoming the one entrusted with everyone’s secrets and problems, which makes him Stressed, but he enjoys helping his friends.

Both Xisuma and Evil Xisuma are shapeshifters, with the ability to change their appearance, but not their size. X keeps his appearance hidden from the hermits, which of course inspires wild theories ranging from eldritch abomination to biblical angels, but X won’t reveal if any theories are true. The only ones that know are Hypno (explained later) and Scar. Scar found out when Xisuma showed up hurt at his doorstep, without enough energy to keep another form. Scar was sworn to secrecy afterwards, and he deeply enjoys listening to other hermits pester him for answers. X actually just looks startlingly average, to the point that he’s unwilling to reveal himself solely because people expect him to be something a little more intimidating, and especially now with the ridiculous rumours the hermits have started.

EX doesn’t hide his true form (which is identical to X’s), but of course the hermits don’t believe him, thinking that it’s just another disguise, and EX won’t confirm or deny because he thinks it makes them more afraid of him. (It doesn’t) He’ll also frequently try to impersonate hermits to destroy the server from the inside out, but he is a terrible actor (so is X) and rarely gets far in his plans.

Mumbo and Grian are fairies, but they’re originally from different communities (courts? I really don’t know much about fairies) so they don’t know the other is a fairy until Grian’s hermit challenges initiation. They can shrink into a smaller form that has wings, but it takes quite a bit of effort to switch between forms. (also fun fact: if mumbo is a fairy that means hermit challenges is a magically binding contract)

Iskall is just. Completely human. His prosthetic eye is powered by magic, (and maintained by Scar!) but other than that he’s just a dude. However, he has very strange things happen to him all the time because he’s befriended not one, but two fairies, and he hasn’t noticed either one. He finds that he often has abnormally good luck, and his lost objects will mysteriously turn up as soon as he complains to his best friends about it. He asks Scar if he knows anything, but Scar, not wanting to break Mumbo or Grian’s trust, has to play dumb while also helping Iskall with his ‘problem’.

Now this might come as a shock but. Ren is a werewolf. It may not be unique but it is fitting. One full moon near the beginning of season 7, Ren showed up at the village around sunset, and frantically insisted that Scar let him stay the night in an unoccupied house. So Scar let him stay, and the next morning Ren explained his Situation. So now Scar helps Ren be as comfortable as possible on the night of his transformation and the day after they just chill together.

Stress has her potion brewery, and she’s the first one on the list to fall into the category of Not Having Frequent Magical Emergencies; she just goes to the village to hang out because hey why not? It’s cozy, plus Scar helps her brainstorm potion recipes over cookies and hot chocolate. Scar comes to her often needing a potion (usually of the healing variety) because someone Fucked Up.

Tango is also human, but at some point he was cursed, and his vision started to literally turn red until it was all he could see. The curse was halted thanks to Zed and Impulse, but the red eyes still remain. (Though thankfully his vision returned) They aren’t sure what the curse would have done if it wasn’t stopped, and they’d be happy to never find out.

Zed is an elf, and while he does have a little bit of magic, it wasn’t enough to stop whatever was afflicting Tango, so he turned to more demonic methods. When Tango’s sight got really bad, he summoned a demon (Impulse) and offered his soul in exchange for a cure to the curse. Impulse did the best he could, restoring Tango’s vision but leaving the red eyes, and then left with his price. Zed’s health slowly started declining: he had basically no energy or life due to the separation from his soul. So Tango summoned Impulse back and asked for Zed’s soul back, but it couldn’t be returned without reversing the deal, and Zed wasn’t willing to do that. So Tango ‘asked’ Impulse to stay with them for a while so Tango could convince Zed to back out of the deal. It turns out that being near his soul (kept by Impulse) returned Zed’s energy, and Impulse decided he liked these two so they became a trio, and joined hermitcraft soon after.

Quite often 2 members of team ZIT will wake up Scar in the middle of the night because they accidentally did something to the missing member (banished Impulse, sent Tango to the shadow realm, etc.) and they don’t know what to do. Scar has a ZIT protocol. It’s used far too often. They also constantly try to figure out what the more human looking hermits are. They do not often succeed.

At night, Bdubs turns into a sleep paralysis demon looking creature, and he (unwillingly) curses people to sleep for a completely random amount of time. After an Incident with Wels in season 6, (that’s the reason for his ‘nap’) he makes sure to sleep as early as possible every night. He thankfully isn’t affected by this while in the End or Nether.

Alright lads here’s the angsty one. Beef has the midas touch, meaning everything he touches turns to gold. It works much slower on living creatures than on inanimate objects, but it still works on living things so that’s Not Good. He makes sure to wear special enchanted gloves that block his curse while wearing them. At some point he goes to Scar in a panic because he accidentally touched Etho with his bare hands, (Etho handles this surprisingly well) and Scar helps him fix Etho. (It’s minecraft rules. They just cut his arm off and it comes back.) After that they put a curse of binding enchantment on Beef’s gloves.

Cleo is still a zombie, and she sometimes gets Scar to help her with Zombie Problems when Joe isn’t available. The first time she showed up outside Larry with her (severed) arm held in one hand Scar nearly jumped out of his robes, but he’s pretty used to it by now and will just go inside to grab a needle and thread.

Joe certainly is something! Nobody is quite sure, even Scar. All Scar knows is that Joe knows way too much about everything, and yet he keeps asking Scar to help him translate Galactic. (Joe is secretly trying to teach Scar the language because he feels that it’s important for magic users to know, especially ones so versatile like Scar) Joe is some kind of oracle who receives visions of the past, present, and future, which is why he knows so much, and he’s also at least dabbled in almost every kind of magic there is. He’s a bit of a cryptid.

The local mad scientist is Cub, who does all sorts of weird experiments, and makes inventions that combine magic and technology in disturbing yet wonderful ways. He also got cursed by his pyramid, so now he has comically bad luck. It doesn’t usually cause any serious harm, just shenanigans. He of course embraces this and finds it funny as hell.

On top of Doc’s regular strangeness, (creeper hybrid, cyborg, goat whisperer?) he also for some reason attracts a frankly unreasonable amount of kitsunes. Nobody knows why, but he can be seen in the shopping district being trailed by no less than two foxes with varying amounts of tails. It’s really very cute, and the mystery of it infuriates the more investigative hermits. (Cub and team ZIT mostly)

Etho is a demigod, although nobody knows what god he’s descended from. (including Etho) He has the fun ability to grant others’ wishes, but because of his personality he chooses to twist these wishes and turn them into fun little pranks that technically give the person what they want, but not without annoying them first. He also doesn’t reveal this ability to the others, leaving them even more confused whenever he uses it, which isn’t often because it does drain him quite a bit.

False, being the badass she is, is a valkyrie. She towers over most of the hermits, and between her height, wings, and blazing sword she’s quite intimidating. Despite this, she’s still very sweet, and would never seriously hurt her friends on purpose, but enemies are a whole different story.

Hypno at first seems totally human, but he actually comes from a world full of magic, each person having their own individual ability. Hypno’s ability is to absorb/ cancel out magic, which means that no magic can affect him, and he can also choose to stop any magic by touching the target of the magic. This got him exiled from his world, but he found a new family in the hermits. Because he isn’t affected by magic, he can see through Xisuma’s disguise, but he just assumes that he sees the same thing as everyone else. He hangs out with Beef when he needs comfort because he knows Beef can’t accidentally hurt him.

Jevin is,, slime. Not a minecraft slime, he’s just a pile of sentient slime held together by magic. (Necromancy? probably) Hypno likes to mess with him by touching small parts of him and disrupting the magic so a chunk of his arm falls off. Scar then has to fix it, but it’s still funny.

Keralis has the power of hypnotizing people by looking into his eyes. (Nothing but his eyes) He of course uses this power for mischief, although nothing actually bad. Usually uses it to ‘convince’ people to buy a book or seven. He also sometimes does it on accident, in which case he drops them off at Scar’s until they snap out of it. Team ZIT keeps asking him to hypnotize X so he’ll reveal his true form, but Keralis doesn’t want to force him to reveal that, plus he finds their attempts at figuring it out entertaining.

XB is an unfortunately forgetful selkie, and most of his visits to Scar are because he lost his coat in one of his shulker boxes again. On one memorable occasion he arrived in a panic after losing his coat again, and Scar had to spend about 5 minutes trying to suppress his laughter enough to tell XB that it was on him.

TFC doesn’t have magical crises, much to Scar’s relief. He’s just a humble earthbender living in the mines, occasionally coming out to the village to ask Scar for a crystal to help his back pain, or to give the poor man an afternoon of peace. In fact, Scar turns the tables by asking TFC for magical help with terraforming, which he’s glad to offer in exchange for all that Scar does for everyone.

Wels is a bard, which makes his sea shanties even more powerful than they already are. When Hermitgang came out, a hole was blown in the G team base, much to the surprise of everyone inside at that moment. Hels is also a bard, but he prefers rock music over sea shanties. Diabolical was an actual magical duel, and it probably looked sick as hell.

Bonus: Jellie is secretly a powerful eldritch being, and is the only one with magic that can affect Hypno. It’s a good thing she’s interested in getting pets and treats rather than destroying the server, because she probably could. She casually hops between worlds whenever Scar isn’t around, going on delightful little adventures. Scar takes quite a while to figure this out, and loses his shit when he does. When she got struck by lightning, she just turned up totally fine the next day and Scar didn’t question it too much.

I’d like to thank the discord for helping with ideas, ya’ll are so creative and i appreciate you all <3 ( @skywillsometimeswrite @bigbadantianti @justletmeplayminecraft @badtimeswithscar @aceacebaby12345 @litabattoir @icewolfstar @burntmagicc @dicerxll @dioritegang @cut-the-string @anntonka @shadeswift99

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hermitcraft-au-time · 4 years ago

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What's up I'm back with Hermits and their covens

So this is a long post. Most I'm just putting as vibes and other things lol

Cub would take Illusion

Doc would take Construction and/or Abomination

Etho would take Plant and/Illusion

False would take Abomination

Gem would take Plant/Healing/Beast Keeping

Hypno would take Oracle

Impulse would take Beast Keeping

Iskall would take Abomination

Jevin would take Abomination and/or Potions

Joe would take Illusion/Bard/Oracle

Keralis would take Plant

Mumbo would take Potions and/or Abomination

Pearl would take Healing/Bard/Beast Keeping/Plant

Ren would take Construction and/or Illusion

Stress would take Healing/Potion/Plant

Tango would take Beast Keeping

Beef would take Healing and/or Construction

Wels would take Bard and/or Construction

xB would take Illusion and/or Beast Keeping

Xisuma would take Abomination and/or Potion

Zed would take Illusion and/or Beast Keeping

Cleo would take Beast Keeping and/or Healing

___

Honestly I'd think that all of them want to join the Emperor's coven until the thing that happened in the end of s1 happened, also you have no idea how close i am to throw in some other ccs lmao

#submission #the chicken house au #the gangs all here #hermitcraft #hermitblr

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rayveewrites · 4 years ago

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Ray Hijacks the Team ZIT Ghostbuster AU Again

So @shadeswift99 made a few posts a while ago about a Team ZIT(S) ghostbuster AU, And then I may or may not have hijacked the post to add in ideas for most of the other hermits because why not.

Now, back then I was spitballing ideas and making them up on the spot, which is admittedly my usual writing process, but hey.

That said, I've had more time to think about it, and then last night I blacked out for a few hours and came to with a Google Doc filled with short bios for all of the hermits and a handful of hermit-adjacents. Now, this rapidly turned into an urban fantasy AU in my hands, but hey. It's fun.

This is in alphabetical order, with alternate personas (EX, Helsknight, Beetlejhost) beneath their original counterparts when applicable:

Bdubs

Lives in an old mansion in the woods alongside Doc for reasons known only to them. Bdubs works as an interior designer, with a side gig as a freelance hairdresser. His eyes are unnaturally large, similar to Keralis’, and he is at least partially a plant. Completely feral and frequently gets in trouble for having knives on him at all times. He and Cleo have a thing called Knife Club which makes everyone else nervous. Nobody messes with Knife Club. It’s not worth it. Sunbathes frequently.

Beef

Is a perfectly normal human being. He works as a butcher with a side gig as a graphic designer specializing in album covers and spends his free time playing pokemon and dragging Etho along to social events. He was the first person to spot the cryptid, and the first person who Etho approached of his own accord.

Biffa

Is a ghost possessing a robotic shell. Biffa is from the future. While initially his main goal was to get back home to his own time, Biffa has since made friends and settled down into a new life running a cafe specializing in a wide range of teas. He’s quite content with this, and has actually found himself far happier than he was in his own time. While his nature means he can see, hear and touch ghosts, his body was built specifically for a disembodied soul to be in the driver’s seat, and he doesn’t want to risk another taking control. Also, he has more important things to do than have fistfights with ghosts.

Cleo

Is a ghost possessing her own dead corpse. Her nature allows her to see, hear and touch ghosts. Can and will fistfight spirits. She works as a teacher, so she’s usually busy, but occasionally in really nasty situations the Beetlejhost will drag her in to break a ghost’s legs. Does sculpture in her free time, and is actually really good. The only one who can wrangle Beetle to any real capacity, and she’s learned to keep him on a fairly short leash. Housemates with Joe, and Keralis also pops in pretty frequently. Has Knife Club with Bdubs. Has an enchanted flower crown that prevents her from decaying further; a gift from Beetle. Recently started learning magic in the form of necromancy and illusions. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Zloy, in which she temporarily traps his soul in random inanimate objects every now and then.

Cub

A bit of a ��mad scientist’ archetype, Cub’s experiments are not exactly the most ethical, though they’re at least more professional than Doc’s. Responsible for the creation of Jevin. Cub gets possessed stupidly easily- sometimes willingly- and can usually handle it himself but sometimes has to call for help. Has a magical method of communication with Scar for exactly this reason. Has a day job as co-owner of a business called ConCorp, which he started with Scar. Has probably broken the Geneva Convention.

Doc

Was presumably human at one point. Now an abomination. Repeated experiments on himself have resulted in a massively changed facial and foot structure, a body covered in mottled green scales, claws, and goat horns. He lost half his face in one of his experiments, and constructed a new cybernetic one. He lost his right arm fighting God. Killed said god and would do it again. Lives in a mansion in the woods with Bdubs, though nobody’s really sure why. Owns a casino because of course he does. Also a living crime against fashion, because the man refuses to wear anything other than his tattered lab coat, torn jeans, and crocs.

Ely

Runs the local radio station. Nobody’s ever seen him in person, and nobody knows where he gets people’s voice clips for his remixes. Probably a cryptid. Maybe a ghost. Seems pretty chill, despite the blatant invasions of privacy.

Etho

Is a cryptid. Lives out in the woods in an abomination that can barely be called a house. Has never been seen in anything other than full Kakashi cosplay. Tends to keep to himself, but occasionally lets Beef drag him along to social events, often with Doc and Bdubs. Nobody really knows what his deal is. Probably not human. Probably.

False

Used to be part of an illegal underground cage fighting ring, until she earned enough to buy her way out. Having grown up in said ring, she struggles to adjust to normal life, but living in a town where the barista is a robot and the local tailor has wings makes it easier. She now has a job as security at Doc’s casino, alongside Iskall.

Grian

Is either an angel or a demigod, but nobody knows which. Has wings. Is both a tailor and an architect. A complete gremlin who has elaborate masks of various birds and will wear them to commit crimes. Eats seeds. Messes with everyone else’s plants. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats. Volunteers at the local theatre.

Hypno

Has three eyes, but hides the third one under a bandanna at all times. Can see ghosts with it. Had problems with sections of plumbing randomly getting clogged and also making very weird noises, and eventually called Team ZIT when the plumbers couldn’t find the source. Was prepared for ghosts, but wound up with a slime creature instead. Works in a $2 store for some reason.

Impulse

Is fully human. The most sensible member of Team ZIT (which admittedly isn’t saying much), Impulse has a day job as a freelancer building custom PCs and fixing broken tech. Agreed to the whole ghostbusting deal because he was bored, mostly. Was the first one to meet Skizz face-to-face, and is the one to own that particular place outright. Gets possessed every now and then, usually by larger spirits. Used to run solely on caffeine and chronic anxiety until Zedaph started getting on his case about his sleep schedule. Now he runs on less caffeine, more sleep, and the same amount of chronic anxiety.

Iskall

Was part of a cloning experiment to create the ultimate hitman, and was the only known one to both survive and escape before the whole thing was shut down by the authorities. Their eye and arm were replaced with cybernetics in order to increase their already enhanced abilities, and they were chased by said authorities, eventually winding up on Mumbo’s doorstep and becoming Mumbo’s problem. Now works as security at Doc’s casino, alongside False. Lives at Jungle Wood flats. Occasionally volunteers at the local theatre. Does bonsai as a hobby.

Jevin

Is the slime creature in the pipes. Hypno lets him live with him under the condition he stops blocking the plumbing and making weird noises at 3 AM (Jevin still blocks the plumbing and makes weird noises at 3 AM, just not as much as he was). Has taught himself to take a humanoid shape, and likes having fingers. Sleeps in the bathtub because he can. Was created from a vat of chemicals in a secret lab underneath the house, which used to be owned by Cub. Doesn’t really talk to the man in question that much, but will occasionally refer to Cub as his father for the sole reason of watching him go through eight existential crises in three minutes. Has a glock.

Joe

Head librarian at the local public library, and has read a lot of books on Supernatural Things. Is a veritable fountain of exposition if you can figure out what he’s saying or have Cleo along with you to threaten the integrity of his shins. Has never been seen in the same place as the Beetlejhost. Are they the same person? Are they entirely separate beings? Is there a Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde-type situation going on? Who knows!

Beetlejhost

Literally nobody really knows what his deal is. Nobody. Team ZIT ran into him on a call that they expected to be a false alarm and then he decided to follow them home. Spends most of his time being a minor nuisance in the most bizarre ways possible. Is implied to be responsible for the Ever Given getting lodged in the Suez Canal, but never confirmed. When he’s not bothering Team ZIT or getting them out of tight spots, he’s usually pestering Cleo, the only one who can keep him in line. It’s not really known if he and Cleo have a history or if they’re just Like That.

Keralis

Is a ghost haunting an architecture firm, and is mostly bound to the building, though he can travel to other buildings the firm has built, which is, uh, most of them. Initially only able to do small things- mostly writing notes or drawing diagrams- he eventually meets the Beetlejhost when the latter follows Mumbo to work one day for shits and giggles (he wanted to see how long he could mess with Mumbo before the man noticed. As it turned out, about a week, and by the end it was Iskall who noticed). After a couple of days in which Beetle teaches Keralis Ghost Things™, he scares half the office when he finally manifests for the first time. Has unnaturally large eyes and nicknames for most of the workers. Has no idea how he died or what his unfinished business might be. Very knowledgeable about architecture, and his input is usually very much appreciated.

Mumbo

Is a perfectly normal human being who does IT at Keralis’ architecture firm. Lives at Jungle Wood flats and spends most of his free time tinkering with tech and trying to keep Grian and Iskall out of trouble, which is a losing battle. Has a large, beating golden heart in his flat. He’s not really sure what its deal is, but if he feeds it apples it produces enough power for the entire building. Oh, and if he forgets to feed it for an extended period of time it starts draining his bank account. It’s really weird.

Pixlriffs

Was a perfectly normal human being until he died protecting a certain Russian zombie and became a perfectly normal ghost. Was a reporter in life and is a reporter in death. Runs a blog alongside Zloy about the local goings-on, supernatural or not. The blog’s the type where unless you live in/near the town you most likely won’t stumble across it, but they do have a small following of outsiders who assume the blog’s just a work of fiction. His unfinished business is to prevent Zloy from doing anything particularly stupid, a constant battle. Is able to go more places than Zloy due to being incorporeal, but respects people’s privacy. He’s bound to Zloy to a certain degree, not being able to go beyond a certain range of his friend. The range is pretty big, though, and he has plenty freedom of movement.

Python

Had a run-in with the fae as a kid, in which he accidentally pissed one off. In retribution, the faerie challenged him to answer a riddle or he’d be turned into a snake. Python’s answer was partially correct, so the faerie only transformed him partially. Python is fairly chill, though he strongly dislikes the cold and starts hissing if anyone disturbs him during Sun Time™. Sometimes Bdubs, being partially flora, joins Python for Sun Time™. He’s not venomous, because, you know...python. Also, he has a mildly disturbing habit of strangling rats and mice and then eating them whole, but he can’t help it and just tries not to do so when he has company.

Ren

Is a werewolf. He’s pretty chill regardless of form, though it’s only been recently he’s been comfortable enough leaving his ears and tail visible. He works as a lumberjack. One time Pixl introduced him to Monty Python’s Lumberjack Song and it quickly became his favourite thing. He spends most of his free time volunteering at the local theatre because Ren is absolutely a theatre kid and nobody can convince me otherwise. Gets possessed every now and then. Lives in Jungle Wood flats.

Scar

Works as a landscape developer. Gets possessed absurdly easily, though not quite as frequently as Cub. Has a magical method of communication with him. Technically co-owns ConCorp, but isn’t as involved. His cat, Jellie, is very obviously an eldritch abomination in feline form and he is comedically unaware of this. Lives in Jungle Wood Flats with Grian, Iskall, Mumbo, Stress, and Ren.

Skizz

Is the ghost haunting Team ZIT’s office. He was murdered by someone he’d thought was a friend who was trying to use his place to hide from the cops, and he’s stuck around, haunting the building. His unfinished business is to make sure nobody else uses the building for anyone shady, but the ghost rumours tended to chase most people off. Eventually he gets used to having Team ZIT around, and when Tango admits he doesn’t really have anywhere to go one day, Skizz eventually makes the decision to finally unlock the still-furnished upper floor for him. He’s bound to the building, but Impulse learns that carrying Skizz’s old vest with them allows him to leave. After that, Skizz sometimes accompanies them on missions and occasionally just hanging out. He’s usually more helpful than the Beetlejhost is.

Stress

Is a witch. Stress lives in Jungle Wood Flats and works as a doctor who specializes in supernaturally caused injuries- Team ZIT are some of her best customers. She also sells magic potions of various kinds, and has a side gig as a florist. She’s 90% of the Jungle inhabitants’ impulse control. Also has cryokinesis.

Tango

The Team ZIT member with a car. He gets possessed with frankly ridiculous frequency, but claims not to believe in ghosts for a long time (and keeps up the bit for even longer). Has developed various signals to indicate when he’s being possessed again. The strongest one, a rather nasty demon Cleo and the Beetlejhost had to team up on, left him with his glowing red eyes. He didn’t really have anywhere to go before Impulse bought the office, and tended to sleep on the couch or in his car until Skizz decided to let him into the upper floor, where he now lives alongside Zedaph and Impulse.

TFC

A now-retired ghostbuster, TFC calls in Team ZIT one night when he finds himself in over his head against a ghost with a grudge. He winds up becoming a bit of a mentor figure to the trio, usually coaching them over the phone if they’re not sure how to deal with one of the stranger spirits. Lost his leg years ago in a fight with a poltergeist that could have gone better, and now has a robotic prosthetic made by Doc.

Wels

While Team ZIT was out investigating some rumour or another in the woods, they came across a large stone box. Following video game logic, I guess, they then decided opening this large stone box sounded like a fun idea. Well, Tango and Zedaph did. Impulse was a bit more hesitant. The box actually held a medieval knight who’d been put in an enchanted sleep for centuries by his demonic doppelgänger, and was very much not prepared for modern life. Team ZIT took him to Xisuma, who happened to live closest, and Wels is currently helping out on the farm and trying to adjust to life in the 21st century. He can understand and speak modern English just fine because magic. Volunteers at the local theatre quite a lot.

Hels

Is Wels’ doppelgänger. Technically a minor demon. Won a fight with Wels and sealed him away for centuries as a result. A recurring problem. His real motivation is that he really desperately doesn’t want to go back to Hell, but he’s too proud to admit it. Lives in the woods with EX, who’s basically his only friend, though the weirdo with the brown cardigan keeps pestering him about his backstory and feelings for some reason. Has minor pyrokinesis.

Like Biffa, XB is also a ghost from the future, though it seems to be a different timeline than Biffa’s. His unfinished business is preventing the apocalypse, but he has no idea how to do that, no idea if he’s in the right timeline, and is pretty sure he’s gone back a lot farther than he probably should’ve. Also, there’s the whole paradox issue, where if he prevents the apocalypse he never has a reason to go back and prevent the apocalypse, so he doesn’t prevent the apocalypse, so he has to go back and- he tries not to think about it too much. He mostly just hangs out in an abandoned house on the edge of town and vibes.

Xisuma

Is a beekeeper. Nobody’s ever seen his face; when he’s not in his beekeeping outfit, he’s either wearing a helmet, or (more recently) an extremely lifelike and detailed animal mask (is it a mask?). Actually a shapeshifting alien, he crashed down to Earth after a scuffle with his evil clone and was stranded because Earth doesn’t have the right tools or resources to repair a spaceship. These days he’s actually found he’s happier tending to his bees, selling honey, and helping his friends out, and probably wouldn’t leave Earth even if he could. It’s a simpler life, but a pleasant one. He bonds with Biffa over a shared love of tea and being stranded in a technologically inferior world and finding a home.

Evil Xisuma

Is Xisuma’s clone. Feels that if everyone’s going to call him ‘Evil’ he may as well own it. Shot his original’s spaceship down in a scuffle but wound up being brought down with him. Currently hides in the woods. Generally more of a minor nuisance than an actual danger. Used to spend his free time bothering X but has gotten put off by Wels, who has a problem when it comes to evil clones. His friends consist of Hels, who is a terrible role model, and Zedaph, who’s trying to help him work through his problems behind everyone’s backs. Can summon lightning because he deserves it.

Zedaph

Is the reason Team ZIT is ghostbusting in the first place. He’s a sheep shearer by trade, but that’s a fairly seasonal thing and ghostbusting is more fun anyway. Has somehow never been possessed, and claims it’s because he’s always standing next to Tango. He makes sure the other two gets enough sleep Because we all know they can’t be trusted to do it. Probably has some sort of really bizarre and situational magical powers he is thoroughly unaware of. Qualified to be a licensed therapist. Made friends with Evil X at one point, somehow.

Zloy

Like Cleo, he’s a ghost possessing a corpse. Unlike Cleo, there’s a good chance it’s not his corpse. Eh, it’s not like anyone else was using it. Runs a blog with Pixl, because why not. Was already a zombie when he met Pixl, who was still alive at the time. His body is a bit more decayed than Cleo’s, but it’s fine. His goggles are enchanted with the same preservation spell; it’s not really ever explained where he got them from. Has no regard for privacy but is fortunately unable to turn invisible or phase through walls due to inhabiting a physical body. Both can theoretically physically fight ghosts and has enough time to physically fight ghosts, meaning he would be a valuable ally if he could be bothered. Lives in a graveyard. Has an ongoing ‘feud’ with Cleo, in which he puts jabs at her on the blog. Once spent a week as a (very sarcastic) floating potato.

Hermiton

Is the name of the place they all live in/near. Located in an ambiguous location in an ambiguous country, Hermiton is technically large enough to be considered a city but has Town VibesTM. Supernatural going-ons are a fairly normal part of life, and a good number of inhabitants aren’t humans. Despite this, the wider world seems mostly ignorant of the existence of ghosts, magic, etc. I’m not too sure about geography, but it’s surrounded by forest in most directions and in a warm enough climate to not have snow in the winter (so Python doesn’t, you know, freeze to death). Most people don’t tend to bat an eyelid at strange-looking people walking down the street or serving them at the store; they’re used to it by now. There are several theories as to why Hermiton specifically has so much going on when it comes to the supernatural- ley lines, secretly the resting place of some long-forgotten god, et cetera- but it’s actually more of a case of ‘people who have supernatural traits hear rumours of a place where a lot of people have supernatural traits and go there in search of answers/a place to belong’. This doesn’t exactly explain where all the ghosts came from, but hey. Nothing’s perfect.

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scp-10000 · 4 years ago

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Coal Fighting Hermits

(Keep in mind this is all just personas. Myself and The Hermits aren’t fighting in real life. Also, my minesona’s a half dragon, half eldritch horror who solves most of her problems by bitting, scratching, and slapping them with her bone tail.) I’m joining this quick trend started by @shadeswift99. Let’s go. Time for a bored and combative lizard to fight some Hermits.

Bdubs: Yeah he’s a feral man like two seconds from snapping, and he has 3 knives and a machete under his shirt. I’ve made worse decisions. 10/10 Would fight. 5/10 I’m sure it’d be even enough for it to be fun.

Cubfan: You see, I wouldn’t be able to fight him. I’d lunge at him, and using his Vex Magic, he’d rob me, and teleport far away before I even lay a claw on him; doesn’t even matter if I only have 5 cool bones and 50 shiny rocks, bastard’d steal’um to spite me and bail. 10/10 Would fight to get all my stuff back. 1/10 I’m not getting my stuff back.

DocM: Draconic Eldritch Abomination vs Buff Creeper Cyborg Man with a Rocket Launcher Arm. That sounds like a dumb action movie, and I live for it. I’d only fight Doc if someone was recording it, cause even if I lose, it’d be entertaining as all hell. 10/10 Would fight. 1/10 I sure as hell ain’t winning, lets be real.

Etho: Cryptid who likes dropping anvils. Sounds like a fun fight. 8/10 Would fight if bored. 2/10 Probably would only win if Etho got bored mid fight and just left.

False: The Queen of Hearts, Heads, and Body Parts. I’d definitely fight her if I wanna die, but knowing my luck, the univers’ll have her spare me as punishment for all my sins. 10/10 Would totally die. 6/10 I’d be disappointed if I live.

Grian: Now, half the fandom’s like “gRiAn HaS sHoRt FeRaL eNeRgY,” which I’ll admit he probably does; problem is I’m 5′7, so that ain’t gonna help him. Now Grian is also a good ambusher, which probably would help him because I’m shite at finding targets I’ve lost track of. If I lose track of Grian in this fight, he’d totally be able to ambush me. 6/10 It’s not one I really think’d be fun. 4/10 Eh.

Hypno: No, I will not fight the vibing man. 1/10 Not unless I need this for the main quest or something. 5/10 I’m guessing it’d probably be even.

Impusle: No, I’m not going after the vibing totem man either. 1/10 Dude probably has a hotbar full of totems. 6/10 Again, totems.

Iskall: For some odd reason, I get the feeling if I attack Iskall, it’d eventually turn into him seeing how bad a fighter I truly am, and he’ll end up trying to teach me. 10/10 I’m not passing up an opportunity to be taught. 4/10 Even at my best, I’d still have a lot to learn.

Jevin: Bitting, scratching and tail slapping’d probably split him into an army of smaller, angry Jevins, and I’m not dealing with that. 1/10 No. 1/10 No.

Joe: I wouldn’t fight this man, but I would bring him to Cleo in case she wanted to take his knee caps. 10/10 What if Cleo needs his kneecaps? 10/10 I’mm’a get Cleo those kneecaps.

Keralis: My claws are too curved to just poke him in the eyes. Besides, it’d probably be more fun to watch him struggle and squirm like he did when Etho tried to kill him. 8/10 Would fight. 5/10 Losing would probably be me getting bored and leaving Papa K alone.

Mumbo: Unlike half the fandom, I don’t see Mumbo as a lanky boy. He also does Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I don’t, so that’s gonna be a fight. Granted, Mumbo’s a giant, non-confrontational dork, so that makes my choice harder. 5/10 Would I even fight him? 5/10 I’d probably stand a chance.

Rendog: Yeah, my brain doesn’t short circuit when I run into horny. At best it’s acknowledged when I’m not set on murder. 7/10 I might ask him to square up if I’m bored. 5/10 Might be an even fight.

Scar: Same situation as Cub, but not at the same time? Let me explain. There’s a chance he’ll cast the same spell as Cub, but there’s also a chance he’ll forget to, and I can get a swipe on him before...well have yall seen that video where a dog attacks a kid on a bike, and then the cat comes out to mess up the dog? Imagine I’m the dog, Scar’s the kid, and Jellie’s the cat, and you’ll know how well that fight’ll go. 0/10 No. 0/10 No.

Stress: This girl can carry massive pumpkins halfway across the server on one strength potion. I’d fight her just to see how far she can yeet me. 10/10 For the yeet. 4/10 If she doesn’t yeet me, it might not go well.

Tango: This man builds massive minigames, and wrangles ravagers. I more feel like I’d get trapped in a moving maze to fight ravagers for like half an hour before he gets bored watching me struggle. 9/10 It’d be a fun way to spend an afternoon. 4/10 Doesn’t mean I’m good at fighting ravagers without full iron armor.

TFC: I respect the man of the earth too much to fight him. 1/10 No. 1/10 No.

Vintage Beef: The blood on his apron does not override his vibing man vibe. 1/10 No. 5/10 If I must, I feel like I’d have a fair shot.

Wels: He’d probaby come up with some sick diss track lyrics on the fly... and then have to teach me how to rap battle after I say “I don’t get it.” 1/10 I don’t think this’d even qualify as a fight. 3/10 I feel like my poetry skills are lacking.

xB: Another vibe man. No, I shall not fight him. 1/10 No. 5/10 I probably could do decent if I had to.

Xisuma: I’d attack him thinking since he’s a bee, one sting and he’s done, only for him to use his formal Doom Guy Training:tm: to body slam me so hard I’m banned from the server. 10/10 For the meme. 1/10 I’m not avoiding that body slam.

Zedaph: You all are thinking “Funny contraption man can’t fight,” when from what I remember of @lyraeon and I talking about the subject once is in PvP, Zed’ll run at you swinging and screaming. To me, this is a more fair assessment of Zed’s abilities, and is what I’m going off of when thinking about if I’d fight him. Thought, I probably won’t attack if he’s working on something. 5/10 Right now, he’s the only vibing man I might actually consider fighting? 5/10 Might be an even fight.

Zombie Cleo: She won’t fight me. Instead she’ll convince me to let her set up an army of living armor stands to fight. I would not attack her cause she’d give me more stuff to fight when I’m bored and combative. 1/10 No, I’m not fighting my supplyer. 1/10 If she decided to sick an army of armor stands on me, I’d probably lose.

#hermitcraft

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rayveewrites · 4 years ago

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Okay I love this so much but I can't help but think about how everyone else would fit in and then this got really long so hippety hoppity here we goooo:

-Cleo is a ghost possessing her own corpse. She doesn't know how it happened, nobody knows how it happened, but she Just Is. Her body has stopped rotting thanks to a magical amulet the Bettlejhost gave her (why he had that, nobody knows). The amulet also lets her disguise herself as a Normal Human Being. She tries not to think about how the biology works too much, because she's pretty sure it doesn't.

-Because of this, she can both see and touch more traditional ghosts. This comes in useful whenever Team ZIT are genuinely over their heads and they need to physically threaten the being in question.

-Cleo still has a day job as a teacher, so she can't help out too often though.

-One time Team ZIT got a call out to a somewhat run-down house. The single inhabitant- Hypno- explained the plumbing was making abnormal noises in the middle of the night. And no, the plumber couldn't figure out what was wrong, he'd already tried that. After several shenanigans, they found a secret abandoned lab in the basement, and eventually wound up with a sapient slime monster in the bathtub. Hypno offers to let the slime monster- Jevin- stay with him, on the condition he stops making disturbing noises in the middle of the night.

-The house and lab turns out to have once belonged to a scientist named Cub. When confronted, Cub genuinely didn't know Jevin existed.

Zedaph: How do you not know that you created a living being? You're basically his father!

Cub: Well it's not like I gave birth to him!

Jevin: Not sure I'm liking the implications there.

-Also Hypno has three eyes. This is mentioned exactly once and never comes up again.

-Grian, Mumbo, Iskall, Ren, Stress and Scar all live in the same apartment building.

-Stress is a doctor who specializes in supernatural injuries. Team ZIT are her best customers.

-Mumbo is Literally Just Some Guy. He does, however, have a beating golden heart in his apartment. He has no idea what to do with it, but it takes offerings and works as an electrical generator???

-Iskall was part of a cloning experiment to create the ultimate hitman (a la Agent 47 from hitman)- hence the robot eye and arm. They managed to escape the facility and somehow wound up on Mumbo's doorstep one day, becoming Mumbo's problem.

-Ren's a werewolf. Just, a very chill werewolf who acts more like an intelligent dog than anything else. Wouldn't hurt a fly (unless that fly hurts one of his friends).

-Grian is... probably a demigod? Nobody's really sure, least of all him. He has wings and a tendency to mess with other people's potted plants.

-Scar is also just Some Guy, but he gets possessed almost as often as Tango does.

-Jellie is very obviously an eldritch abomination but everyone keeps comedically just barely missing any evidence of it. Especially Scar. He's absolutely clueless.

-Cub gets possessed fairly often too, but he can usually deal with it just fine on his own. Of course, sometimes it gets to be too much for him to handle, and he has to call for help. He and Scar have a system set up.

-xB is a ghost. He's also from the future. His unfinished business? Preventing the apocalypse. The problem? He has no idea how. He doesn't even know if this is the right timeline! He spends his time vibing, helping newly-made ghosts adjust, and occasionally aiding the living.

-Keralis is also a ghost! He haunts an architecture firm, and has a habit of spontaneously manifesting and giving tips, suggestions and constructive criticism. How long has he been there? How did he die? Why are his eyes so big? Unclear! But his advice is always sound. Scares the bejeezus out of new hires though.

-There's a creepy mansion in the middle of the woods. A call comes in about it. Turns out there's no ghosts! But there is a goat. Man. Man with goat horns. And green scales. Who's also a cyborg. Hi, Doc!

-And his housemate, Bdubs, who gets along well with Keralis! They're unnaturally-large-eye buddies!

-Also, Bdubs may or may not secretly be a plant.

-Beef is literally just Some Guy. He's a butcher who has a side gig as a visual designer specializing in album covers. That said, he keeps catching glimpses of a strange figure out in the woods...

-Xisuma also sees that strange figure sometimes. He's a beekeeper, and when he's not wearing his beekeeping outfit, he's wearing an elaborate, highly detailed mask in the shape of a bee's head (is that a mask?). He may or may not be an alien.

-When both Doc and Bdubs also mention the figure, Team ZIT figure they have a pretty good case that there's something out there. They're right. Now they have to figure out what the deal is with Etho Slab, the grown man who lurks in the woods and is never seen wearing any outfit other than an elaborate Kakashi cosplay.

-Also whatever the Hels is going on with Etho's house. Why is it like that.

-Speaking of which: one time when Team ZIT were exploring the woods, they found a large stone box. Following the obvious course of action, they decided to open the box (well, Zed and Tango did. Impulse tried to talk them out of it). Inside was... a literal knight in shining armour. After half an hour of mutual bewilderment, they decided to take the knight- Wels- to Xisuma's nearby bee farm. Turns out Wels was an actual knight, who'd been sealed in the stone box after losing a fight to Helsknight, his demonic doppelgänger. He'd been in there since the middle ages. Cue some major culture shock for the poor guy.

-Zloy and Pixl are a pair of journalists documenting the goings-on of the town. Both are ghosts, but only Zloy is possessing his own corpse. And no, he doesn't understand it any better than Cleo does. They share a blog.

-Biffa is also a ghost possessing a body, though in his case it's robotic. He's from the future, but not the same future as xB. This does not help xB's case.

-Cleo and Zloy have an exceedingly petty feud ongoing feud. Zloy adds in playful jabs on the blog, and Cleo practices her necromancy by temporarily binding Zloy (and occasionally Pixl)'s soul to random everyday objects. The most memorable? A potato.

Team ZIT Ghostbusters AU!

Discord ideas. Of course they’re discord ideas. (paraphrased from a Discord discussion)

Keep reading

#This very quickly turned into a supernatural AU #And I have no regrets #Feel free to steal the ideas or add your own!#I've got three writing projects going on right now #So I doubt I'll use these #:S #Hermitcraft #Hermitblr #Team ZIT ghostbusters AU #Supernatural AU #This went far longer than expected but I have no regrets #Rayvee actually Writes

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