#aba mention cw

[slugass]

mmmm yummy aba abuse propaganda sites talking about autistic people like they don’t exist past the age of like 12 when i’m just trying to fucking google features of autism yummy yummy in my tummy!!

[spacexfucker]

I'm so pissed off about this. Discomfort around hearing loud noises is not enough to make other people have to remain out of public. The whole idea behind shaming people and parents and kids for being loud in public is what made me so afraid to take my daughter places. But she and I deserve to take up space in public regardless of how quiet she can be.

Why does your overstimulation overwrite my daughters right to exist in public? Why are you all anti aba until people bring up that some autistic people can't be redirected or calmed down. Meltdowns are ok for you but not ok if it's someone else? Stimming is fine and you're "unmasking" but a kid vocally stimming too loud is where you draw the line?

Your reaction to autistic people who cant mask and can't control how they stim or act in public is what gets the police called on disabled kids. It's what gets high support kids isolated because they're too "oppressive" to others to take places. It's what makes parents put their kids in ABA.

[the-unlucky-trevor]

So I have this headcanon post for Kaleena. Be warned, it's REALLY long, and woobifies Esme a little more. My interpretation of the Page parents is that Kaleena's motives were her children while Gorman's (yes that's actually his name) motives were money and potentially his kids as well.

//CW: GROOMING, MURDER, PRISON VIOLENCE, ABA, CHILD ABUSE, SEXUAL HARASSMENT, SELF-TERMINATION, SWEARING//

Ever since Kaleena became pregnant with Reggie and Esme, she made it her mission to protect them with all she got. It was to the point where she hit her would-be carjacker with her car while she was 8 months pregnant.

However, when it became apparent that her two children were squibs, she became stricter on them, especially considering she barely got enough sleep because she'd just given birth to Daniel.

Despite this, she still had the mission to protect her children with everything she could do. When she found out that Daniel was being abused in his ABA clinic, Kali wanted to KILL one of his so-called “therapists” for hurting her favourite child. She ended up holding back and was one of the many parents that bankrupted the clinic. It was to the point where Esme and Reg got Daniel a Super NES for Christmas.

Enough rambling, now to the part where Esme started to distrust her own mother.

When Esme was about 14-15, she was being groomed by an older man, so she told her mother about it, as she'd also experienced sexual harassment from a classmate when she was 13.

Kali took this very seriously.

So seriously, that she took a gun, found the address of the man grooming her daughter, and shot him, making it look like self-termination.

The next day, she told Esme “You don't need to worry about him again.”

Esme felt relieved, thinking that her abuser got arrested, until her mother continued her sentence,

“I shot him.”

This horrified Esme.

So much so that she wouldn’t even come near her mother because of this. As in, she would rather read Twilight than be in the same room as her mother.

Eventually, when Esme was 16, her father and brother were arrested and her mother ended up locked up as well for trying to get them out, and by God, poor Dani boy being absolutely miserable was an understatement.

However, despite this, Kaleena still had a desire to protect her children, to the point where she straight-up KILLED Gridley once he got into Azkaban for using her daughter as extortion (sorry gridley stans, but if you fuck with the cubs, you fuck with the bear)

Sometimes, Kali could feel herself going insane from isolation when thinking about her being separated from her kids, especially Daniel. Aaand that's it. Don't say I didn’t warn ya

[system-of-a-feather]

Maybe when I get my PhD Ill research long term effects of "good and modern ABA" and burn it to the ground Round 2 Electric Boogaloo /hj

[moth-mayh3m]

that moment when i barely have anymore triggers relating to my trauma because i am So So Angry and Autistic so i actually end LOVING talking about the trauma

[whumpbump]

Immersion Therapy

Cw: noncon (nonsexual) touching, noncon drugging, mentions of PTSD, control by a big organization, forced immersion therapy, forced ABA, forced conversion therapy

Whumpee was diagnosed with PTSD and under the Caretaking Organization’s decision, Whumpee was to go through immersion therapy with their assigned Caretaker.

Whumpee’s immersion therapy was to sit on Caretaker’s lap for an hour, three times a week while being hugged to overcome their aversion to being touched and held.

Caretaker was given their orders and uncomfortable with the decision made, tried to gently explain to Whumpee what would be happening from the doorway of Whumpee’s room. Caretaker received an “Absolutely NOT” from the lump of blankets on the bed and with that, closed the door and reported back.

An injectable sedative was delivered to Caretaker’s doorstep within three hours.

Caretaker took a deep breath and called to Whumpee from the doorway.

“Whumpee? It’s time for immersion therapy. The sooner we do it, the sooner it’s over.”

The lump of blankets was silent. This was generally Whumpee’s way of saying no without having to verbalize. Typical avoidance behaviors like pretending they can’t hear or looking away so they can’t acknowledge by looking in Caretaker’s eyes that they’ve been told something.

Caretaker swallowed uncomfortably, knowing what was likely coming next.

“Whumpee, I’m giving you the chance to try it out before we move on to next steps.”

The lump was silent and seemed to become quieter if that was even possible.

Caretaker walked over to the blankets, pulled them back and quickly sunk the needle into exposed flesh. Whumpee looked up in surprise and horror as Caretaker pulled the needle away and clicked the safety cap on.

In an instant, Whumpee bolted for the door. Caretaker followed, concerned they would fall down the steps. Fortunately Caretaker was able to pass Whumpee on the stairs as they slowed significantly, cursing up a storm in slurred speech. When they did end up sliding towards the floor, Caretaker was there to catch them and scoop them up. Like a small child restrained by a parent during a tantrum, Whumpee huffed and cried as they tried to wiggle away from the offending arms.

Caretaker calmly sat them both on the couch and curled Whumpee into their body as their hour together started. Whumpee cried and cried. Caretaker cried too, knowing this was not therapeutic in any sense of the word and would only cause Whumpee to lose trust in them but they had their orders and would lose their job if they refused.

As they sat, Caretaker apologized profusely through their tears and explained they had to do this lest they lose their job and Whumpee end up with someone not as caring, only in it for the money. Whumpee understood this but was so overwhelmed by the touch and shock of being drugged that all they could do was make big ugly sobs into Caretaker’s shirt.

Caretaker wiped Whumpee’s tears and nose with a tissue and shushed them while rubbing small circles on their back, patting them, and rocking them intermittently. They felt Whumpee’s heart rate slow and Whumpee allowed the drugs to lull them to sleep. As they slept, Caretaker thought deeply about the events that had unfolded, leading them to this moment. Was it worth it to stay in the Organization if this was how they treated their patients?

[granulesofsand]

CW: attemptively non-detailed mentions of abuse, csa, animal death+torture, paraphilias (non contact) ABA, every classic categories of abuse, think thats it

[If this is not allowed ask my bad you can delete, I sincerely mean no harm] I apologizing if this is incoherent at all i am very brain disordered at the moment but this is the most clarity I have on things in awhile. We have been very certain on atleast C-DID levels of complexity for some time and it opened many doors and is all incredibly complicated, but have also been having issue of relating to HC-DID in ways that feel am not allowed because did not go thru a cult or outside sources (to our knowledge, only had small handful of time to process things and have high amnesia dissociation and other disorders)

we did go through some things, like here is things experience to my knowledge, have had so little time to process after life of amnesia + dissociation;

force exposure to gore & genuine satanism & satanic sacrifice & rituals, relatives torturing mutilating killing animals for sacrifice / pleasure (including pets especially meant for us) made to believe we were demon -- csa (only process rn thru somatic flashbacks etc) one of relatives was predator -- through ABA (or other organization) at young age, did inhumane things not hear of doing to others, it was maybe worse than we think, feel like it set us up for dissociative states -- beating, isolating, starving, threat of murder, strange punishments, we had adapt to be certain ways try not to be hurt and go into trance states (/or alter switch?) and inability to make noise or sob etc -- have alters who hold takeover reactions of hurt or mutulate self, of run back to them, of unalive, of do awful thing to animals like abusers had us do and did, struggle with several paraphilias and Aspd -- relatives seem to work together at times in things and use hurting us to get along or participate together -- think related to some TB/MC things for reasons I can no longer access memory to, know that they did make us go into states and be certain ways and dissociate and the organization was a part of this and or set us up for it likely -- have not just subsystem but experience layering and sidesystem aswell (many of the reactive alters are here the ones who can harm, but cannot reach them) some other innerworld structure type things

when I share too much / think on details things happen and i can't help it so I don't go in detail I hope this is okay, I try sometimes to dig and it can make some alters react in selfharm/unalive/harmful ways and i lose clarity. I don't know, I feel relation to some things of HC-DID and find help in there, but I know I cannot take space, I am just very confused and there is so little resource for some specific experiences -- I suppose I am unsure if I can even be in this space, do I have any reason other than relating and it helping us, only finding some relations in here and understandings ,_, lost; & too much

🗝️🏷️ mentioned above, RAMCOA

Before I start, I want to say that I am neither you nor your clinician, and my opinions are based only on the few paragraphs here. Whatever you conclude, that’s your process and you should hold the reigns.

RAMCOA

So. With what you’ve said, I can say that you are a RAMCOA survivor if you choose to identify as such. Below is anything else I thought possibly helpful.

Ritual Abuse doesn’t have to take place in organized groups. It doesn’t require a group at all. It’s a particular flavor of religious/belief-based trauma describing the use of symbolism as a centerpiece to the abuse.

Satanic imagery is particularly common in majority Christian areas, and can be used in an abuse dynamic as a true faith or as a method of normalizing extreme violence. Exposure to that qualifies you as a survivor of RA.

There was a time when RA was SRA, the S standing for Satanic, though it’s no longer used for all incidents of RA. Satanic Panic and Satanic Ritual Abuse are different, but not everyone knows that. I would not recommend straight Googling those terms, but there are both books and survivor spaces that will understand.

It also looks to me as though programming, or at least Mind Control may have taken place. Programming is what makes a system Highly Complex. All programming is MC, but not all MC is programming. HC-DID systems were intentionally split, structured, or controlled via cue-response or other heavy conditioning.

Abusers don’t have to know specific words or be affiliated with any group to create a programmed system. Organized Abuse can cooccur, referring to high control groups like cults and trafficking rings, but is not necessary for programming.

Mind Control

Mind Control is intentional, but it doesn’t require the awareness of the current perpetrator. Sometimes called Manipulative Conditioning, it refers to a plethora of practices; for example

Generational groups can program members without any ill meaning because those inflicting the programming are in turn also programmed.

McDonald’s is using MC if they research color schemes for advertising with the intent of drawing in customers, but not if they choose it because they happened to like that same set of colors.

I would also say that MC is inherently abusive. It is a different thing to teach a child not to break a glass by reacting negatively and then repairing the bond than it is to knowingly use the same negative reaction to induce disordered eating. It’s a matter of control and agency which we are not currently capable of utilizing safely.

For those reasons, ABA is also MC. It aims to change behaviors with the intention of forcing conformity. It becomes Torture*-Based MC when pain is weaponized for this purpose, or Drug-Based MC when substances are present. (*I consider torture and trauma alike when purposefully applied.)

Programming

T/DBMC both include a deeper level of intention and coercion, and I would not correct someone who called these experiences programming. My own definition of programming leans into the specific outcome that pairs with the intention, and I cannot decide for another whether their experiences meet this standard.

Sidesystems in HC-DID refer to subgroups of alters placed away from other alters by programmers, often with a particular purpose. Some plurals use sidesystem as only a subgroup of alters away from other alters, which is therefore possible without programming.

Layers are not, to my knowledge, limited by any HC-DID definition. They appear with frequency in programmed systems because they can be used for organization, and because many experiences** common among RAMCOA survivors can create similar structuring (**repetition in MC or RA, need to separate large groups of alters, different innerworld settings that cannot be contained in one area).

I will include that having both of these, as well as surviving RA and MC, can be indicative of programming. Some HC-DID systems consider all polyfrag RAMCOA systems HC, others place more emphasis on programming than structure. Some insist upon both.

HC-DID

There is no label police that will revoke your license, only people who are sometimes mean. You are the one who decides whether or not to call your system HC, and you don’t have to explain your story for anyone but yourselves.

We believe that other alters do not owe information to even their own systemmates, but that bit is for y’all to decide.

Try not to push too hard for memories. Listen to others inside and work with each other where possible, as trust makes communication easier. It’s hard to work with trauma, especially of this variety, and I hope that you find community with whichever labels you use.

[sillylilfairy]

Free to Use Pride Flags!

Made these two ace, aro and neurodiversity inclusive pride flags inspired by the intersex inclusive progress pride flag and posted on my Deviantart awhile back. I also made it a point to explicitly include BIPOC in the neurodiversity symbol since they often get spoken over by white neurodivergent folks. Use these however you like. Credit is appreciated but not required :3 Cw: Ableism, transphobia, aspec erasure and ABA/conversion therapy mentions under the cut

I made it a point to include aros and aces because of the separatism, erasure and denial of ace and aro oppression in queer spaces. And I included neurodiversity due to the huge overlap between queerness and neurodivergence as well as our shared struggle with conversion therapy (ABA). Especially autistic people (though it gets used on ADHDers and other folks too). Being autistic is also often cited as a reason to deny trans people gender affirming care (which I've experienced personally), as in the case of Missouri's "emergency" ban on trans affirming care.

We're also 7 times more likely than neurotypicals to openly identify as trans because we place less value on social hierarchy and neurotypical social norms than we do on authenticity. Being neurodivergent can also have a direct influence on how we experience queerness which is why identities like autigender and neuroqueer exist.

Feel free to use these in whatever way you see fit. Or don't. There's no pressure. I just wanted them to exist and to share them with others who may have felt ostracized from what should have been safe spaces due to gatekeepers, exclusionists, ableists or racists

[the-paint-cans-galaxy]

CW // ABA Therapy Mention

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.

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So last night, I felt awful because people still think ABA therapy was okay. I could recall that people sometimes develop a rough exterior that they never want to be hurt again. I think I or someone else said something about that via internal communication. Again, I'm not sure who it was. I figured last night I would figure it out today. -📀

[systems-overloaded]

tw/cw: some ABA techniques mentioned with some details, TBMC mentioned no details

i had written a long thing in response, then tumblr crashed and its gone. so ill keep this short. parts came forward and wrote about a bunch of stuff, so i have more information about this.

-------☆--------------------------------------------

we were diagnosed with childhood apraxia of speech as a kid.

speech therapy through the school had ABA techniques used, by speech therapist and by teachers and adults i interacted with. they seemed like they were well-meaning, thinking this would help me, was for my own good. they did things like denials or delays of wants and needs, like access to the bathroom, leaving the classroom for lunch or recess or any reason, etc. i couldnt go/do/have things until i spoke "correctly" enough or they deemed i put enough effort in.

---------------☆---------------------------------

Then seperate from the school, there was family and alot of adults, who used ABA-like techniques, and TBMC techniques, to make our speech normal, and to make us "appear normal".

They made alot of changes to behaviors and expressions, as well as our speech. Anything "not normal" had to go, so basically all our visibly autistic traits, and then anything that didn't fit what would be useful for them. Everything was micromanaged and needed correcting. These people were mean and cruel in their methods, their words, and their intents. They did not care what they thought was best for me, they did what they did because it was best for them.

cw/tw for below: torture methods mentioned no details, TBMC mentions no details

So, lots of phsyical torture, starvation/imprisonment, and electrocution. I guess alot of the time, the "rewards" for "normal speech" was for them to stop what was causing pain. They (the group) also seemed to think, if they forced us to disconnect from the body enough, they could make speech processes skip over "conscious speech processing" and go straight to "automatic speech processing". I guess they're seperate pathways in the brain. They spent alot of sessions trying to do this, and programming in various phrases and things too.

If that's even possible, then that does track a bit with some of the most dissociated parts having the least amounts of difficulty with speech, and per some of their journals, feeling like they don't control their speech, that speech just happens. Some of them feel they don't have a filter or play a part in things being said. They still say its very tiring (if they're fronting for longer periods), but at the same time they can't always control the words that come out. They don't think think thoughts, plan it and then speak, nor do they think thoughts and then speech happens, they just have speech happen.

----------------------☆--------------------------

Here's a hypothetical of what I mean:

- Those who struggle the most, will see a banana, think "bananas are cool", then decide to say that, then have to try and connect the mouth/jaw/tongue to the brain and take over a minute to figure out how to do that before then trying to say it "properly". Sometimes they just can't, but those who can still have to go through that process.

- Those who struggle less, see a banana, think "bananas are cool", then decide to say that and within like 5 seconds might be able to say it with much less connection/planning of the shapes/sounds/timing/etc. Most still have to plan and connect but its so much less, and for some, a short phrase like this might take almost no planning at all. They still have the thought first, and the decision to speak it though.

- Those who struggle the least, see a banana, and say "bananas are cool" outloud. It's like most their thoughts just are verbal words.

----------------------------☆-------------------

The me who is writing this, has no memory of these things. I do not remember most the abuse that happened. I don't want to not believe survivors, so I'm trying to believe the other parts of me who have shared this stuff. It must've taken them alot of courage.

But I really wish it wasn't true... like, maybe parts could be mistaken somehow? It seems extreme, surely this type of stuff doesn't happen? Surely its not possible to reroute speech to go through automatic processes instead of conscious ones right? They say they've always remembered this, that others simply had no access to the memories. That its different from some parts' experiences of repressed traumatic memories returning. (Or well, where an ANP of ours, became aware and experienced some the memories of a Trauma Holder.) And that they won't share more details because parts aren't ready yet.

-----------------------------------☆-----------

I guess, I'm mostly sharing this for other parts to read in the future primarily. To my parts: I'm trying to listen and hear what you're shared. I have a hard time believing it, because i don't want it to be true, that doesn't mean i think you're lying though. Thank you for sharing your experiences, for giving us all another piece to the puzzle that is us and the things that shaped us.

------------------------------------------☆---

Also, it seems the general consensus we've come to as a whole, is to refer to ourselves and our experiences as being semiverbal.

We're semiverbal with frequent speech loss episodes, and currently a part time AAC user. We're still learning how to use it, but it's been helpful alot so far.

We've been using combinations of: gestures and body languages, sign language, Text to Speech, texting actual messages to people in front of me, and an AAC app with pictures.

I'm hoping in the future, I might be able to get an actual tablet, so I can have an easier time navigating the AAC app. Also, so i dont have to disconnect my bluetooth headphones (which are doing Active Noise Canceling as well, a very very necessary for me), in order for my app to speak outloud for others. That's been a bit of an issue.

this is the trend afaik, about things in common with different alters (we have DID) that have different levels of speech and lanaguges comprehension.

(and then i have a question for nonverbal/semiverbal autistic people who might be reading this at the end, if they happen to see this? there is also a simplified question at the very end as well!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

parts with little to no speech:

- their thoughts are as vibes and emotions mainly

- they cannot visualize, they just exist, and experience life through sensations as they come and as they go. they dont really "create thoughts", they just are, they exist and experience.

- theyre the happiest, have no trauma memories, or understanding of the concepts of trauma

- they dont front frequently because they need to feel totally safe, but theyre very happy and calm.

- (my assumption is they mightve formed pre-language learning, but i have no idea for sure. communicating with them, can be a bit hard to understand. they are more than just fragments though, but its hard to explain, they do have opinions, desires, autonomy, but its different in a way? idk)

parts that struggle with speech:

- generally happier and "normal" parts

- less intelligence, less reading comprehension and vocabulary. (theres a big range, but some would probably be considered intellectually disabled if they were a singlet)

- most of their thoughts are simple words put together (like, "want soup. warm. please soup?" instead of "hmm i want some warm soup")

- they are much more grounded into the body, exist within the body

- they do experience distress when fronting in the body, specifically due to nervous system dysregulation and sensory overwhelms.

- they do not hold memories or emotions of the major or minor traumas that happened to us.

- they do not tend to have anxiety or racing thoughts.

- their brain is very quiet, no background chatter or multiple streams of consciousness.

- theyre typically unable to visualize in their brain.

- afaik, for the majority with prominent speech difficulties, they cannot sing. (there might be a couple who can sing without issues, like how some with a stutter can sing without, im unsure how many can sing though.)

- due to being grounded into the body and its signals, our physical capabilities are much less. cannot push through pain, cannot do things others can.

the parts that have better speech (but afaik still have some difficulty with the motor aspect, although its minimal, i think. i have blackout amnesia to these parts. but this is to the best of our knowledge, correct.):

- higher intelligence, very smart. (interested and /understand/ concepts like genetics, medical research journals, quantum physics (to a certain extent), and learning other lanaguges.)

- tend to be extremely anxious, scared, even "paranoid" (though its legitimate based off trauma memories)

- they can visualize in their mind, with extreme vivid details.

- their thoughts are fast, with alot of parts talking in the background all the time, as well as just multiple trains of thought, and memes/songs/etc playing in the background.

- they have more knowledge about the things that happened to us, even if they dont always have access to direct memories (some do, some dont)

- they are extremely dissociated from the body. they exist above the body, sometimes experienced literally.

- they have more phsyical capabilities, because they do not feel pain at all until it gets to extreme levels.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so my question for those who are nonverbal/semiverbal: id love feedback about what to call this? my speech issues are not simply verbal shutdowns or speech loss episodes induced by stress. id initially assumed that parts who were more traumatized would have less speech, but its actually the opposite for me. (personally i theorize that maybe the more traumatized parts are either way too disconnected from the body to be aware of how hard it is, how much difficulty speech takes. or they have more speech abilities, and maybe even intelligence, because they felt it was so important to be able to talk, and communicate one day about the things that were happening to us. so a bunch of energy was pushed towards speech abilities and brain abilities for those parts? im unsure, this is a guess. the other thing is they mightve been abused and forced to talk better, so they could appear "normal" and not be a stain in the churches reputation.)

a little of (non-trauma) history though:

i didnt say my first word until i was 5 years old, i had a significant speech delay. and id then gone through speech therapy and never actually finished, but the school wouldn't pay for more. i was an extremely quiet kid according to my mom. i would barely speak but i appeared happy and content she said. i did have desires to communicate, and would talk some, tell her about my day at school etc. but mostly i was pretty silent, in school especially. got in trouble for not doing "participation", of repeating things out loud, reading out loud, presentations. i just couldnt and i couldnt explain so id get in trouble.

but as a whole its fact that there are alters that can speak out full sentences and have a full conversation (like a drs appointment). i do not know if how much difficulty they have even matters, because they are still capable of it.

afaik, the majority cannot do that, they cannot have a full conversation like that. not without severe difficulty and/or pain, and then some cannot at all, cant even try.

what should i be calling this experience? would saying im semiverbal be okay? or no? because sometimes i seem to have alters than might be fully verbal? i know not to call myself (or my alters) nonverbal when talking to others (in personal journals i do classify different alters as semiverbal or nonverbal.) but with others, i say things like "i cant talk" or "im mute", or "talking is hard for me right now", etc.

no matter a label, im learning to use an AAC app and learning some ASL (though i struggle with moving hands/fingers right. like clumsy and slow, and some shapes impossible :c ). in the past, those who could push, do push. they push so much and hurt themsleves for other peoples conveniences, and its never acknowledged, and often those words arent even understood/heard/recieved. we have to repeat ourselves multiple times, and say it louder multiple times too. its so taxing, its exhausting (mentally and physically), and it basically causes actual pain.

its like, theres this brain and body disconnect, and my mouth, my tongue, and my jaw are all separate parts that im trying to consciously move, and im trying to get them to move through molasses, and they have a lag in response, if i can even get them to create the shapes i want. and with the pain, its like...knives/nails scrapping/slicing all the nerves/veins in my body.

but im trying to learn to do whats best for me, and what keeps me the healthiest and the happiest. and i think unpacking internalized ableism around using something like an AAC device is something thatll lead me there (to better health and happiness).

but im unsure about how to describe my experiences. afaik, everyone has /some/ degree of struggling to turn word-thoughts into mouth sounds... but id really like to hear input from people who are nonverbal or semiverbal all the time. thank you for reading if you did, and sorry that its so long.

~~~~~~~

simplified question:

i have DID, so i have multiple alters within my body. to my knowledge, we all have a hard time with making speech. some seem to have less difficulty and can have conversations (like at a dr's appointment), others struggle so much they can maybe force out a couple words, and others cannot create speech at all. we have varying levels of intelligence and varying levels of understanding of speech and language.

i had a significant speech delay, with my first word at 5 years old, and never finished speech therapy because the school stopped paying.

these speech issues are not just situational from stress, they are constant with those alters. every single day, for the majority of my day, we cannot create speech. we can make some speech sometimes, but its not even half and half with when we cannot make sounds at all. and the alters who can speak more, only ever front for maybe an hour or two max, and maybe twice a month.

i know not to call myself nonverbal. but would i be semiverbal? can i call me (this me as a whole person with multiple alters inside) semiverbal? or semispeaking? i want to hear from those who are semiverbal and nonverbal.

[muffinapologist]

If you want another reason to know conservatives are full of shit; while they’re villainizing queer people as “groomers” there’s actual statistical evidence that shows therapies like ABA are (likely unintentionally) grooming neurodivergent people for abuse and have lead to a marked rise in the rate of abuse among neurodivergents. But no one talks about banning these therapies or evaluating how medical professionals treat neurodivergents. They just want to kill queer people, it has nothing to do with preventing abuse

[birdofmay]

I am autistic but have severe trauma due to masking (I’m an ABA victim) and so unmasking has been difficult. Lately I’ve been more open and learning that I don’t need to respond to something if I don’t know how to respond to it. A lot of times it’s “I apologize your words affect me deeply I just don’t know how to respond to that :(“ and I genuinely feel terrible that I can’t find my words or find the way to appropriately connect my feelings to a response. Before this I used to be like “I’m appreciative of that, thanks.” Or “I don’t really like that…” but things have become more complicated and now I don’t want to use the default template response because it doesn’t actually connect to how I really feel. Is there some term for this? What is it? I don’t think it’s nonverbal or nonspeaking I mean I can talk and such, I just don’t know what to completely say to people or what genuinely feels ok to say that is satisfying to how I feel internally. A piece of me feels a little restricted with only learning one language (english) and I feel that other languages out there have better ways to articulate and connect how one internally feels.

I tried to reword your ask and if I understand you correctly, what you're basically saying is

"I used scripts all the time, and now that I'm not scripting anymore I realised that I don't know how to express myself and my feelings"

did I get that right?

If so, I think it's very common to struggle with that in the process of unmasking. Once the reliable scripts are gone, you have to figure everything out yourself, and of course that's confusing and frustrating. But I don't think there's a special term for that.

I'd like to hand this ask over to autistics with similar experiences, no matter if you're a follower or not, feel free to comment whatever comes to mind! ☝🏼

[moth-mayh3m]

thinking about my angsty self-projection aba-related headcanons for gin's past. someone needs to take this character away from me RIGHT NOW./j

[helloiamausacresfan]

If you have coin nearby and want to help a support network for autism/autistic/ASD folks, want an accomplishment medal to hang up, and/or want one of the world's comfiest T-shirts, all from the comfort of your own home, ASVC's/Autism Society Ventura County's got you covered if you participate in Aut2Run 2021, which will be held virtually April 24th-25th! :D

Every cent ASVC makes off this and other fundraisers is one less cent it has to take from big local ABA providers in order to afford to do everything it does for autistic people of all ages, yes even adults!

Register and/or donate here at this link (it's the same link as at top): https://runsignup.com/Race/CA/Camarillo/Aut2Run

This would be a fun event for your friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors as well! :D

[butterflyinthewell]

I can never stomach the Friday the 13th movies and I normally don’t like horror films, but I read up on the lore around Jason Voorhees and…well I have a bizarre idea.

CW: mentions of abuse, ABA, violence, ableism, death and gore.

X-posted from my Twitter.

Crystal Lake becomes a summer camp for disabled kids, but the counselors are a bunch of ableist douchebags. They do terrible things to the kids, like hitting them, mocking them and locking them in their cabin without air conditioning or access to water.

One of the kids is a nonspeaking autistic boy with an iPad. Let’s call him Jeff*. He’s 12.

He knows there’s a legend around Crystal Lake. It’s his special interest. He tries to stay awake all night to watch the lake through the window, but always falls asleep. Then a night comes when he wakes up to screams out on the path. All the other kids scramble under their bunks, into the bathroom or behind blankets. All except Jeff, who watches Jason emerge from the water and decapitate the meanest camp counselor with his machete.

Jason comes to the cabin and breaks open the barricaded door. Jeff freezes. Jason leaves without hurting anybody there. Jeff follows the carnage to see Jason slaughtering everybody in the counselor’s cabin. It’s a bloodbath of dismemberment.

Four surviving counselors escape into the woods. NOBODY goes to get the disabled kids still huddled up afraid in their cabin.

Jeff almost gets run down by Jason emerging from the bloody mayhem in the counselors cabin. At first he grabs Jeff’s shoulder and pushes him aside.

But Jeff types on his iPad. It’s a question. “I think you think. Why?” He holds the screen up to Jason and the question repeats. “Why?”

Jason picks Jeff up by the collar of his t-shirt, looks at him at eye level, sets him down again and slowly touches a sequence of icons.

“Water. Dead. Mommy. Sad. Angry. Alone. Hate. Pay. People. Mean.”

That’s all Jason gets out before a harpoon bursts through his chest and shatters the iPad apart. He shoves Jeff into the bushes as the four surviving counselors return with rope, nets and chains.

Jason rips the harpoon spear out of his chest and kills one counselor with it, but the other three manage to pull him off his feet and get him tangled in the net and chains enough to drag him back into the lake. Only two come back, because one more was drowned in the fight.

Jeff stays hidden in the bushes till sunrise. Police are collecting all the disabled kids from the cabin, but Jeff makes it to the lake in time to see Jason’s mask floating on the water. He gets a hold of it with a stick and hides it under his shirt as the cops come to get him.

His parents and ABA therapist are inhumanely abusive, and he hopes Jason will get them when he comes looking for his mask.

END

🖤🖤🖤🖤

*Jeff can be any gender or name or whatever you want, I just threw in a name and gender so I wasn’t saying ‘kid’ over and over.

[wreckitremy]

The only thing that is essential, is that anon (and allistics in general) go take a walk through autism acceptance month tag and the actuallyautistic tag.

But keep your mouth shut while you learn to not be ableist. Trust me, someone else has already asked your annoying question, or made that irritating comment, and it has been addressed already. Pay attention long enough and you might even find the answer to why you are wrong without fucking up anymore.

ABA is essential for autistic children. It help teach them social skills. Without it them, autistic child would enter society with no social skills and behave like animals/feral children.

There's a big difference between teaching social skills and bullying into compliance.