#a) years of conditioning from her not-father. years of being told that she's too unstable to exist without him

[vaultsixtynine]

deep sigh.

[inkyquince]

since Inky managed to finish an old request and the last of the QKS, they would quietly like to talk about their ocs for an evening, and then never again, pinky promise

Quill The Art Teacher

Youngish face, despite frown lines around his eyes. Platinum blonde hair, usually falling around just below his chin, but almost always kept up in a messy bun. Cold grey eyes. Around medium height but swims quite a lot so has a strong physique.

He grew up in foster care after his father left his mother and she had a bad break down and proved too unstable. Mother never told the father where Quill had ended up so he was never taken out of foster care, where he was with an abusive family that messed him up for life. Mother lost all contact rights and Quill ran away from the family but was picked up again shortly after. Dumped at the orphanage, a couple years before Bailey starts running it.

Becomes an art teacher at the school. Not because he believes in supporting local artists and shit, but because it means he can be judgmental and ignore his students while they scribble.

Can be found in the cafe on Sunday afternoons if it rains, and on the far end of the beach if not. Is not going to be happy to see you UNLESS, you have high hand skill, didn't snark against him and only flirted once in a while, which means he tolerates you. Won't admit to liking you, just tolerates, even if he does like you.

If you ever try to initiate a consensual encounter, his love for you shall drop quite a bit and he tells you to piss off.

Is a hermaphrodite with a defiant streak, but mainly a pleasure switch. Oral fixation, ex-orphan of Avery, and truly, the most cold hearted of my ocs.

Jacek The Convict

Wolfish looks, is a wolfboy that hides his ears and tail. Honey blond hair with pale hazel eyes, and the tallest of the ocs. Hair kept shaggy with an undercut and has faint stubble. Muscular and lean, quite intimidating.

His mother used to drink and smoke while she was pregnant with him and their living conditions was far from healthy. CPS got called on his mother after 11 year old Jacek was drug tested and it turned out that his mother would put her medicine in his food to make him calm down. Damaged his brain somewhat.

The last to arrive at the orphanage, kicked to the one in town after 6 years of being booted home to home. Makes friends with the other three out of pure determination and is immediately out when the clock hits midnight on his 18th birthday.

If you somehow manage to get yourself sent to prison within the first 50 days of the game, well done! Legit, how did you do this.

But, if you managed to get sent to prison, meet Jacek! Constantly in solitary confinement, rough and rude but will immediately take to the player character. Calls them lamb shank, Brisket, and only if your love is high, Pup.

Will openly adore you and is a stellar fuck if that's what you're looking for in the prison.

However, at high love you also learn that he's escaping. Won't tell you the specifics but promises you to take you with if you manage to sneak to his cell after hours.

Day 50? He's gone babey, and its a bad day in prison.

If you don't meet him in prison, then you're meeting him in a dark alley, after 10pm. Will grab you, start an nonconsensual encounter that's pretty hard to escape from. Will finish and playfully slap your ass as thanks, before taking around £200 of any money/valuables you have on you. If you fought back and ended up making him pissed, he calms down strangely fast after, and offers a sheepish apology and to walk you to wherever you're going to.

At the end of the encounter, you can vaguely recall the abandoned storefront that he yanked you into and can return to officially meet him as a love interest. Yes you get the police on him and he will be sent back to prison but oof. Watch your back. Your art lessons and brothel changing room shall become more hostile.

He has a meter like Avery's, but his rage is channeled into some cruel violence, but its pretty hard to raise. Is generally quite nice, if wolfish, and will openly coddle the player.

Absolutely fat dick, dominant top and reluctant to bottom, but shall enjoy is quite a bit if you manage it. Defiant, sadist, and has procured a bat with nails sticking out of it, so who knows.

Rosa the Sex Worker

Stunning, gorgeous, we love her. Thick, curly red hair that's quite long. Light brown eyes with freckles and a cow tf. Absolute whoppers of boobs. Awooga.

Rosa has been at the orphanage the longest when she meets the other three, as her family died in a car crash when she was still quite young.

You shall meet her at the brothel, and probably is the only one with a genuinely good opinion on people like Briar and Remy. Big surprise, she's quite submissive. You would meet her in the changing rooms more often than not, trying to squish herself into whatever skimpy costume.

Will worry over the player over time, given that they're barely 18 and especially if they start out with low dancing skill. Earn enough of her love, and she gives you some tips for dancing but will become too flustered to give you tips on having sex with the clients.

When you become star of the show, she's genuinely excited for you but you will find her less and less in the changing room.

Unless you check in and successfully manage to cheer her up to keep going, will be gone from the brothel. Instead, you'll find her at the temple. You find out she used to be an initiate but when she was assaulted, the punishment the temple gave her was worse than anything she endured in nonconsensual encounters and never went back. Rosa isn't looking to join it, she just sits and prays.

After a full year in game, she will disappear from the game.

Another pleasure switch, but more on the submissive side. Is a hermaphrodite, and yknow, spent some time at Remy's so, she'll be gentle with you. Will immediately stop at the first plead/scream action and be apologetic.

Loralei The Solitary

Lean and mean. She has messy dark brown hair that falls around her face in a way that's intentional in hiding her eyes. Darkly tanned with gorgeous dark brown eyes that nearly blend in with her pupils. Shortest of the bunch and she's not a fan of that.

Grew up poor and her father placed her in the system but stayed close, just so he wouldn't loose her fully to cps. To this day, her father lives on Domus street and will ask you to clear his gutters.

Well, let's head on over to the asylum. Meet your bestie <3

Loralei had a public mental break down that ended up with her being shipped to the asylum. Her official release date is day 80 in game.

Like, Jacek, spends a bunch of time in solitary and in her own cell, but runs frequent laps in the grounds and does quietly appreciate the company. She also loves gardening.

While you can never help her escape, she will quietly help you if your skullduggery is F and you need to snatch the keycard. Loralei is naturally standoffish and rude but horrifically loyal and after she is released, she lives on the edge of the woods and will warn you off of going any further in. Shows extreme fear of the woods despite living so close. If your love is high, then she will come in to rescue you if you're not beyond the lake, like Gwylan, but her trauma levels with rocket and she will struggle to talk to you and has a chance of being sent back to the asylum. Has a gun under her bed in her home. Wonder who that is for.

She's more likely to bottom, prefers to be used. Defiant as hell and worries about a submissive pc. Fun fact, Eden might end up getting grazed with a bullet if you make them wait too long for you and comes to town to find you. Isn't hurt but in a bad mood.

In my actual game:

Quill had Avery and then Whitney as his primary love interests, has harpy tf, defiant, and canonly best at school and keeping his popularity up. Prefers feminine skirts and dresses but likes their combat boots. Thief AND model, what cha know.

Jacek had Alex as his love interest, was kidnapped by Black Wolf and became the alpha. Yeah, Eden didn't succeed in taming him, ran away. Defiant, sucks at school but has beaten the shit out of Whitney a whole bunch. Remy hates him and Wren adores him. Famous scrapper, beloved in prison, will never forget Rebecca <3.

Rosa has Sydney as her love interest and Kylar keeps sniffing around her, like boy if you don't back the fuck up. Cow tf, and okay at school but insanely popular. Spent time with Remy, and my god, I'm not kidding, lost her first fucking kiss to him without cheats. WAS SAVING THAT FOR SYDNEY U CUCK. Also a favorite of Ivory Wraith. Known flaunter and famous for prostitution.

Loralei was my cheat pc, just because I was more interested in the asylum. Primary love interest is Eden and my god, he snatched his girl. High trauma for most of the game, only had the cat tf for a bit, but it was a nice time. Legit went to about... Three days of school. Known well for her rape but even more for being a scrapper.

mini fun fact: Quill's actual name is Tadhg but its an irish name in england, so about 5% actually pronounced it right and most just called him Ty. Then the nickname Quill caught on because he was a prickly little shit. Every time a teacher calls him Quill, he loses a bit of humanity

[ashesandhackles]

The Hogwarts Express scene in Prince's Tale: A Sirius and Snape analysis

I really, really enjoy Sirius and Snape as characters and their respective narrative functions in story. But what gets me most about them is how much Rowling hints about their backgrounds and so much of it makes sense with regard to who they are as adults. So I am going to be breaking down a very small scene from Prince Tale and getting into long winded hypothesis about their respective childhoods.

So, let's start with Snape. The scene begins with Snape rushing to find Lily, already in his Hogwarts clothes. Harry notes he must have been eager to get out of his clothes - ones that look like he borrowed from his mother, as Petunia spitefully pointed out. This has always been a very interesting detail to me - first off, it indicates how poor Snape's family is. Second, this indicates his tiny rebellion from his father - he refuses to wear clothes of the abusive man, and prefers his mother's. I admit, I am partial to the reading that Snape refuses to associate with his father in tiny ways, rather than Tobias refusing to hand his son clothes.

(I have seen readings which say that it is also a sign of neglect - perhaps his parents bought clothes that simply don't fit him, but I am more inclined to think it's a hand me down, simply because Harry identifies so strongly with it. Because Harry knows what it is like to wear a hand me down that don't quite fit, that are too big for you, or the ones that make you look ridiculous.)

Lily and Petunia's relationship is fraught with Petunia's jealousy. And young Lily is upset over it when Snape meets her. "I am not talking to you. Tuney hates me" she tells him. "Because we saw the letter from Dumbledore". Young Lily shows signs of being extremely emotionally reactive and this scene is one of them. It's easier for her to deal with Petunia's rejection of her by telling Snape she doesn't want to talk to him. It's a childish displacement of her hurt over her sister's rejection. (I am genuinely baffled by interpretations that Lily and Hermione are similar. Hermione is very cognitive person, Lily, as we have been shown repeatedly in memories, is not).

Snape, however, with his bad history with Petunia and his inability/ poor social skills to understand why this matters to her, goes: "So what?"

Lily, who throws him a look of deep dislike, says "So she's my sister". This seed is important because this is what develops into "he doesn't get me" feeling she later displays in her teenage scenes with him. Interestingly, most of Lily's personal relationships have deeply interwined love and dislike - Petunia (whose rejection bothers her but she cheerfully informs Sirius that Harry nearly broke a vase her sister sent - which means there is resentment on her end too), James - who she was attracted to even before 7th year but also disliked at one point, and Snape - again, a contentious friendship filled with love and distance.

"She's only a -" we dont get to hear what Snape intended to say. And given his own acrimony with Petunia, it could be anything. However, I read it as "She's only a Muggle" because it ties into his feelings about his father. Snape, who is proud of being half a Prince, emphasizing his magical lineage from his mother's side, his refuge in a violent, neglectful home. (Barty Crouch Jr and Snape with their disappointing fathers - I imagine Voldemort is supremely attractive leader to people with broken homes like this)

Snape, by all accounts, shows a disorganised attachment style. His caregiver, his mother - and perhaps the only parent he seems to have regard for, is too preoccupied by her own abuse to be there for her son - we see this in glimpses Harry sees in OOTP: " woman cowering" where a man shouts at her, and a young, neglected Snape cries in the corner. Children born in homes like this have trouble regulating their emotions, simultaneously displaying tendencies to aggressively lash out or show disassociative symptoms. Both of which Snape displays. Statistically, this is also seen more in low income households where economic instability and resulting domestic instability creates an unsafe environment for the kids to safely form ideas of their identity, or express emotions in healthy ways, modelling instead out of behaviour seen at home.

Then, Snape reminds her that they are going to Hogwarts. He is already in his Hogwarts clothes - now, Snape gets to be the impressive figure. The one who told her about magic, who theorised about how Muggles get letters from magical people, the one who told her about Dementors and Azkaban. He has already left behind the Spinner's End version of him, he wants to bigger than that, and is keen to be in place of magical learning and to join Slytherin. Essentially, he shows signs of unstable identity, insecurity - all prime for grooming into a cult.

And here comes along James Potter, who looks around at the mention of Slytherin. James's comment uses Snape's line and directs it to Sirius instead and it becomes a conversation between them, as a way to bond more with a fellow "rowdy boy" Sirius. Effectively ignoring the other two.

Sirius as we see here, "does not smile" when James talks about Slytherin. He essentially says something that can be construed as a way to nip that conversation in bud: "My whole family has been in. Slytherin". This suggests to me that there is some loyalty to his family there and his disillusionment with them isn't entirely fixed yet. After all, Sirius's intense loyalty to his friends, more specifically James, did not come out of thin air. It is reasonable to suggest that he felt some loyalty to his family at some point and the intensity with which he regards his friends is a reaction to burned off and being a "displaced person without a family" as Rowling put it.

Interestingly, while his reaction to his mother and Bellatrix are obviously sore spots, his response to Regulus is comparatively quite soft. ("Stupid, idiot" - something he calls James later on in the same book, OOTP). I imagine Sirius has quite complicated feelings about his brother and he is capable of nuance (when the person isn't Snape, where his dislike seems to be borne of an intense projection): "The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters". As someone who is grown up among them, Sirius would understand that.

His framing of Regulus's need to please his parents also further highlights what exactly is the source of disillusionment. He calls Regulus "soft enough to believe them" - which means he is crediting his own intelligence to see through his parents bigoted world view. Clearly, bigotry is not something the Blacks explained in a way that Sirius, eldest of their male line and their heir, bought it. It also probably didn't help the Blacks case that Grimmauld Place is in a Muggle neighborhood and that their eldest son is a bit of a wild boy with interest in pushing boundaries. His intellectual disconnect leads to the righteous rage he later feels but it began there. (Boy, it must suck to discover that everything you have been taught to value in the world and in yourself as the heir is essentially rubbish). Since his differences with his family began with seeds of intellectual disconnect rather than on intense empathy with downtrodden, it makes him, as a pureblooded privileged boy, unable to truly understand Lupin's fears regarding his lycanthropy. Hence, the Werewolf prank (I am not getting to the Snape bit, just the Lupin bit). To James' credit, he does understand what that means for Lupin and saves all three of them from different set of consequences.

Anyway, back to the scene. James, who has made an ass of himself in front of his new friend, who he was getting along with fine until now, then goes "Blimey, I thought you seemed alright". (Btw, I find James wildly large ego kind of hilarious here, especially in light of Snape's comment about him to Sirius in OOTP: "You will know he is so arrogant that criticism simply bounces off him"). Sirius, who I believe has been raised like "royalty" as Blacks would, has good enough social skills to defuse a situation. He grins and says: "Maybe I will break the tradition".

This line is an indication of Sirius's desire for independence, an identity seperate from his family. The use of the word "tradition" is interesting. It sounds like Sirius is expected to behave in a certain way, the heir of Black family whose parents thought being a Black "made you practically royal". Adult Sirius is contemptuous of this, or their "valuable contribution to Ministry" which means they just gave gold - it tells me that any and all conditions put on him by his family were to fulfill tradition that is either worthless or holds no meaning in his eyes. The root of the emotional abuse Sirius suffers from his family is this - realising his parents love for him is conditional on him being a certain way. (In fact, you can read Regulus desire to emphasise his connection to the family as a reaction to what he sees with Sirius - Sirius does not behave, Mum and Dad don't love him). As a child with unconscious knowledge of lack of love, Sirius then acts out, they react, rinse and repeat "until he has had enough". Sirius chafes against boundaries well into adulthood and doesn't react well to people enforcing it on him, even if it is out of love for him. Cue the fire scene with Harry where he behaves as if Harry is rejecting him instead of protecting him.

Sirius asks James about where he wants to go, and Snape, who is incensed about James being insulting about a House he put stock in, which he made part of new identity (so that he is no longer that Snape boy from Spinner's End) and was in general trying to be impressive about in front of Lily, "makes a disparaging noise" once James talks of Gryffindor. Snape's response to James' : "Got a problem with that?" is interesting. He says: "If you'd rather be brawny, rather than brainy-"

This is an important value for Snape. He knows he is clever and values it. He spends his spare time inventing hexes, making great shortcuts to Potions. He has genuine thirst for learning and he hones it. In SWM, we see that he has written far more longer answers than anyone else, he is poring over his paper after exams. He even mocks Hermione's lack of inventive answers: "Answer copied word to word from the textbook, but correct in essentials". He values originality. It may be me stretching this, but I am partial to the reading: this is his way of rejecting his father once again, who is implied to be a violent man. (in other words, someone who is hypermasculine - "brawny". In fact, Snape's rejection of hypermasculinity is a huge post on it's own - Potions (brewing, cauldrons - coded as feminine arts), the doe Patronus, his proficiency in Occlumency and Legliemency (intuitive mind arts, again seen archetypically feminine) etc).

"Where are you hoping to go, seeing as you are neither?" - Sirius is quick with emotionally cutting insults. Snape hasn't even finished his sentence, but Sirius is already on his case. Which suggests growing up in a household with sharp tongues. It's a fair assumption, given Mrs Black's half mad portrait. It also tallies with Sirius's talking about his mother: "My mother didn't have a heart Kreacher, she kept herself alive out of pure spite" . The wounds are fresh enough on this. (Another interesting way Snape and Sirius act as inverse mirrors - Snape rejects his father, Sirius rejects his mother. Sirius acts as proxy for James for Harry while Snape takes on Lily's role of protecting him). However, you know who else is spiteful? Sirius.

While James is the physical bully (the tripping Snape, doing most of the bullying in SWM), Sirius attacks emotionally. ( Sample the one about Snape's appearance - "I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment, there will be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word" or even the carelessly vicious- "Put that away, before Wormtail wets himself in excitement"). Curiously, with all that talk of how his mother being spiteful, it's her room he spends time in when he is depressed. (Again, in inverse mirror way, we can talk of how Snape looks for a father figure in Dumbledore - craves his validation and is proud of Dumbledore's trust in him). We could argue it's also because Buckbeak is there, and perhaps it's the largest room in the house, but it's very telling that's where Sirius spends time when he is "in a fit of sullens". Sirius's sense of abandonment from his family, makes him look for family connections with friends - a trait he shares with Harry. Interestingly, the first time he glimpses Harry in Privet Drive, Harry is also running away from home - just like he did. Anyway, I could go on.

[buchananbarnes1991]

Unus Annus Sentence Meme Starter

“Hey buddy buddy buddy buddy!”

“Our long time colleagues are 419 hours a day deny you here!”

“Peoples dream, must first be full of blood!”

“When we arrived in my backyard, we stopped the fire.”

“We quickly eliminated the enemy, and the fight was depressing.”

“Boy am I hungry!”

“Zip zap zop!”

“I don’t know if this was your idea, but we’ll roll with it.”

“This wouldn’t be the first time like, ‘hey I’ve got an idea.’ when we told you it weeks ago.”

“With the guidance of a guardian angel, you can do anything.”

“What am I teaching you how to do?”

“You don’t need to make it! I’m making it!”

“Have you washed your hands? You should wash your hands.”

“You can have the knife when you need the knife.”

“Close the door and never go back!”

“I want you to do something for me. Take a balloon, stretch it out..nice and wide.”

“Some of us are more gifted than others.”

“Okay, so what are we doing here? What is this?”

“I think that the way that I’d kill you is..’take you by the hands. come this way. I’ve got something to show you. just something you HAVE TO SEE.’ “

“In highschool. I dated a girl...her name was, Abigail. Very smart and driven. I was a stupid boy.”

“I still hadn’t let go, but they called me to tell me. She’d let go.”

“She looked down at the ground and then looked back up me. She giggled a bit and then said ‘Oh, don’t you know? I have feelings for Troy.’ “

“When you’re a late bloomer and you spend most of your time alone in a dark room with various ‘websites’,  it turns out that feeding my entire adolescences with perverted thoughts from various unsavory sources makes a distorted impression of the act of making love.”

“After about thirty minutes of dry thrusting, I found myself incapable of completion.”

“The first time I ever had sex, I had to fake my own orgasm..just to get it over with.”

“I too was a late bloomer. I didn’t know anything about intercourse or foreplay or anything.”

“We heard the tent unzip, her thirteen year old brother came through the tent! He didn’t see us. But, we were there. He said ‘Dinner’s ready.’ Under the protection of the sleeping bag we were replied ‘OKAY!’, He exited and I-- *giggles* exited.”

“I think that’s enough therapy for one day. Remember, it’s okay to talk about embarrassing of your life.”

“You stand here..I’m gonna take my shoes off.”

“I need to climb around you.”

“Using teamwork and trust and...t-t-t....team work, you get one person from one end of the body, all the way around to the same end.”

“You think you know us, but we only show you what we want you to see.”

“Let’s get climbing.”

“I thought we were gonna watch a movie.”

“And then I PILE DRIVE YOU’RE SPINE...paralyzed for life.”

“I AM ALWAYS STABLE. Don’t even try to unstablize me.”

“Felt like an emotional burden unloaded.”

“Death comes for all of us and we’ve gotta prepare.”

“It’s a beautiful world, with a lot of caskets.”

“I’m just thinking about America...it’s not a great time to think about America.”

“Can we see some different caskets? Can you show us some metal ones, some wood ones?”

“Let’s start with the highest! And then we’ll work down to where we’re comfortable.”

“Why is Mahogany like the universally known wood? It’s used in all the movies, everyone talks about it. If they want quality, they want a Mahogany.”

“Obviously it’s a beautiful wood, but what makes Mahogany so special?”

“With Mahogany if you look at it. If you pass your eyes to the side, it changes. It goes with you.”

“You are supposed to be buried in dirt. From dust to dust.”

“I don’t want it to be too comfortable. I’d like to stay alert.”

“I don’t know, what does it mean to be afraid? I’m not afraid of death.”

“I don’t like the feel of velvet. I mean, I’ll touch it.”

“Mmh....velvet...”

“That’s the thing! Like old production stuff was built to last, FOREVER!”

“For now you can kneel.”

“They’re Nigerian dwarf goats. They’re gonna be your yoga partners today.”

“I twisted a man into a pretzel. I could do the same to you.”

“I twisted myself into a pretzel.”

“It’s so much more fun to do a plank with a goat on your back.”

“The goats come to you. The motto that we like to have it ‘trust the goats.’ “

“Oh, wait. Wait! I didn’t know we were competing.”

“When I did hot yoga. I kicked everyone’s ass.”

“There’s a lot goatin’ on.”

“You flinchy bastard.”

“Alright, there’s a goat there.”

“I always tell people that they will fire their massage therapists because goat massages are way better.”

“Yeah, it’s real firm.”

“Ow, oh god. Your tallons!”

“Oh, tight pants..tight pants!”

“Those are quitters who think that you have to have the perfect conditions to do things but if you can do things in times of adversity that’s when you know you’re really committed to a cause!”

“Anyone want kisses?”

“It’s okay to show emotions.”

“CRY LITTLE BITCH, CRY!”

“No one’s crazy enough to do it!”

“We knew this year was going to be hell.”

“Hey! Seven days..”

“There’s always still time for things to go wrong.”

“We’ll save them for the future.”

“No, there’s no future.”

“I hope I die in a hilarious way. I hope my death can be told as a joke, like it’s so funny how I died. People can get one last joy. One last laugh.”

“I’m not afraid of death, but I am afraid of dying.”

“Okay, we only have our sixth sense to see with. Okay? Much like Bruce Willis in the show Sixth Sense, spoiler, I know it’s new. He sees dead eggs everywhere.”

“You can do it with dominoes too, but be careful with that one cause once to get a hundred or more dominoes and you spill ‘em all over, it’s gonna take all afternoon to set ‘em back up.”

“So you better fucking see with your brain or else you won’t be able to have a good time.”

“Ouch ouch ouch! That’s not an egg.”

“I think you need to go a little slower.”

“Oh...Puppies!”

“Should we turn on the emergency camper light?”

“I’m just such a neat freak.” “You know we need to try and escape.”

“What a profound man, that shot out the load that is Tony Stark.”

“This is a literal don’t show it. Oh god, all of his nudes are right there!”

“Gone gone, forever.”

“Two idiots cause ten care pile up from buttplug dropedge.” 

“Hook car batteries up to my nipples? I’ll say yes every time!” 

“I’m not a masochist. I’m really not. I’m glad I have this uninterrupted moment to talk about this. I’m not a masochist. I’m just curious.” 

“I’ve never been hit by a car, outside of my car? What’s that like? I DON’T KNOW!” 

“Sometimes, I am an idiot and..I match your intelligence level. THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

“We’ve been edging father time for a year.”

“Recognize my face, thank you.”

 “Oh it was terrible. You didn’t tell me about all the bears along the way.”

“Nice camel toe.

“Do you want me to get nurse Tracy?”

“When we tried to crush those melons, SHE TOOK TWO!”

“I was thinking the other night, what if the next melon is [insert muses’s name here] skull?”

“I just like doing what I’m told.”

“A man of few words, a man of action.”

“Are our faces being used as Capchas’ now?”

“Thank you god, thats’s a good idea.”

“God said we could!”

“Doesn’t matter what you do, to keep it from ending. Once it ends. It’s gone forever.”

“I don’t know you but you’re here, a lot. I guess you’re fine.”

“I couldn’t get it off, I felt like I was gonna rip your skin off.”

“YOU WERE GONNA RIP MY SKIN OFF.”

“We got all this time that we can relax! We’ve got like a week to relax...”

“Neither of us have ever been pepper sprayed. Let’s get pepper sprayed!”

“It’s burning as if there’s some hot oil.. on my eyes.”

“My eyes are okay now.”

“This fucking sucks so bad.”

“I would not recommend getting pepper sprayed.”

“When I was a young lad. All I had was my imagination and the woodland creatures.”

“You shot me twice! I get to shoot you with a paintball at some point in the future.”

“There is no easy!”

“Math wasn’t my strong suit, nor was anything.”

“He’s an idiot but he can read well.”

“Look at me in the eyes boy, you’ll never be stronger than me.”

“How do you have time for anything, do you not sleep?”

“Your shirt needs to be off.”

“I think you just want me to take my shirt off.”

“Ugh...I’m fine.”

“I need gloves, I need gloves, hang on, I gotta get gloves!”

“I don’t wanna do anything with drainage.”

“What bone would you say hurts?”

“That’s what the picture said to do, breast feed your patient.”

“Your bed’s not very comfortable.”

“THE GONGOOZLER!”

“It not over, it’s close.”

“In six hours, we’re done.”

“It’s hard to say goodbye, but it’s important.”

“Beautiful, a sailor’s dream to come across the mermer.”

“DELETE ME!! CUT ME OUTTA HERE!!”

“I’m being an asshole now.”

“It’s not hope, it’s delusion.”

“You can’t speed your way into heaven!”

“Have you ever looked at your tongue too long in the mirror and it no longer looks like it belongs to you?”

“Biology is just a constant nightmare.”

[smelted-applejuice]

Peace Treaty, 00

(IMPORTANT) this fanfic was made before Fundy and KSI made their disgusting jokes, but I said it on my Quotev account; I want to go on with this book because I’ve had this planned for weeks, Fundy in this book is NOT AT ALL streamer Fundy but Dream SMP Fundy. I won’t write for him after this fanfic is over. Pairing(s): Fundy x Reader, Sapnap x Reader Pronouns: she/her  Pre-picked: LAST NAME, FATHER'S NAME, MOTHER'S NAME. TW: brief mention of alcoholic shots, death of a parental figure,  Next part

“Liz is pregnant” Gregory said busting into the room, his cheeks rosy from smiling. Wilbur looked up from his papers, a message urgently sent from the doctor to his room. “Congrats! Fundy will have a friend.” Wilbur laughed standing up with a large smile, both bringing each other in for a tight hug. They both made a promise when their children were born into this unforgiving world, and it was to protect them at all costs. Even if it meant war. A few years would pass, [YourName] rushing between trees at the prime age of five squealing as the fox and human hybrid chased after her making an excitable squeak. “[YourName]! Stop being fast!” Fundy yelled, “That’s the point of ‘tag’, Fundy!” she said throwing herself against the tree, which they determined to be their safe spot and timeouts from games. Fundy huffed, blowing some of his mother’s red hair out of his view, and took a seat next to his friend. [YourName] panted as she looked up into the tree leaves, “We’re going to be friends forever, right Fundy?” the little girl asked, tilting her head to the side and glancing over to her friend. Fundy made a shocked noise, “Of course so! Why wouldn’t we? Our daddies are best friends!” the little boy explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I just wanted to remind myself, stop being a meanie!” [YourName] said crossing her arms and quickly looking to the side, her cheeks becoming a soft hue of red. And that’s the beginning of [YourName]’s crush on her childhood best friend. She watched from the side as they walked through the small paths of a growing L’manberg, Fundy being flirted with because of his father’s rank. Wilbur had grown and matured next to [YourName]’s father, becoming head of one of the largest armies in case of war. Though, it seemed unstable peace of being kept up with- at least it had been for the last seventeen years. [YourName] had made her way to her and Fundy’s old timeout spot, taking a seat against the tree. She carefully traced a finger across the bow her mother had given to her, she closed her eyes to stop any sobs. Her mother, Lizzy Florence, had lost a long battle with the deathly flu, and [YourName] didn’t have the heart to tell Fundy anything that had happened that morning. She just wanted to be little again, sit against this tree because she ran out of breath from tag and hide n’ seek, and return home to a home-cooked meal from her mother. She just placed the boy next to her, bringing her legs close, she sobbed into them as quiet as possible. Within town, Fundy’s fox ears twitched when he heard his friend’s name be spoken by people within the shop. ‘Did you hear? [YourName] and Gregory lost Lizzy.’ a civilian whispered to their friend, Fundy’s ears perked up getting as much information as he could before setting the item in his hand and making his way home. He knocked on his father’s office door before entering, “Dad, did miss Lizzy die?” he asked, tilting his head. Wilbur bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, “She passed on earlier this morning, I thought [YourName] would’ve told you by now, Son.” Wilbur said, turning toward his son. Fundy shook his head, “No.. I haven’t seen her all day.” he whispered sadly. “Well, perhaps she went to get fresh air, Gregory said she left this morning to do so,” Wilbur said, returning to his paperwork. Fundy nodded, knowing exactly where [YourName] would go for some private time- their timeout spot. So he took his leave, grabbing a few snacks and drinks, he walked through the forest. He finally came across the tree where they always sat and after walking around it, he found [YourName] sitting there with tear-stained cheeks and a drained look on her face. “[YourName], I brought berries and water..” He offered to take his seat next to her, [YourName] placed her head against Fundy’s shoulder, no words being exchanged. “I’ll feed you.” Fundy offered, making a soft snort come out of the female’s mouth, “No thanks, Fundy..” she whispered, opened the bag, and ate some berries. “I’ve heard, and I’m here to keep you company” Fundy explained resting his arm around [YourName]’s face, his fingers placed in her hair. She closed her eyes in comfort, the only thing that was heard was their soft breathing and the noise of the wind brushing through leaves now and then. And that’s when Fundy realized he had a crush on his childhood friend. It wouldn’t be until Fundy’s twentieth birthday that any moves would be made. [YourName] and Fundy sat alone in the dining room, Wilbur and Gregory had left for the month, leaving Fundy and [YourName] to celebrate Fundy’s birthday together. “To you, and L’manberg.” [YourName] said clanking the shot glasses together before they took their shots. [YourName] made a sour face, disgusted with the taste it left in her mouth while Fundy laughed. This would be the only alcoholic drink of the night. “Happy birthday Fundy, apologies for not being able to get you a gift, but being together tonight can be my gift.” [YourName] said softly sighing out as she held her hands together on top of the table, Fundy smiled toward the female and shook his head “I’m perfectly fine with that.” he comforted. He and [YourName] would dance the night away, finally landing on the last track of the disc. It was slow, smooth, and truly finished the disc off with meaning. [YourName]’s arms gently wrapped around Fundy’s neck, her head against his shoulder, while Fundy’s hands rested softly against [YourName]’s waist. They both swayed to the beat, their eyes closed, soaking in the moment for they had no idea when the next peaceful moment like this would come around. “[YourName], I love you.” Fundy randomly spoke, his heart racing, but he thought right now would be the perfect moment to confess his feelings. A peaceful night on his twentieth birthday. [YourName] froze for a moment, but smiled as she picked her head up. “I love you too, Fundy. Have for a while.” She whispered, the two chuckled at their sweet yet awkward moment of confession. “Glad to hear, god this would’ve been awkward if you didn’t.” Fundy said, leaning down to press his forehead against [YourName]’s, his ears back against his head blending well in with his curly red hair. “You fuckin’ tell me.” [YourName] laughed, leaning up softly placing a kiss against Fundy’s lips. “Happy Birthday, Fundy.” She softly whispered as she pulled away. The two saw no point in telling people they were together, and that including their fathers. Fundy still wanted to fight in the war and being with [YourName] gave him the chance of being denied, and [YourName] wanted to watch her boyfriend succeed in life. She didn’t have a problem keeping their relationship under wraps for as long as possible, plus the sneaking away, makeouts in the forest and random hush-hush dates were glorious. She loved the risk of wandering around. [YourName] and Fundy were able to keep their relationship public but secret all for the fact they’ve been friends since birth. It was natural for a close friend to be clingy, so Fundy having [YourName] on his arm as they ran through L’manberg was in the ordinary. All the lovey-dovey stuff was behind doors, and that included cuddling on the couch in front of the fire when one of their fathers were over at the other’s house, dinners at their timeout tree, and rushing through ankle-high waters, ending the night with Fundy wrapping his jacket around [YourName]’s shoulders. It was puppy love growing into true love with each passing day. After [YourName]’s twentieth birthday, Fundy now being twenty-one, L’manberg had gone to war with their opposer. The unstable peace between the two finally broke and Wilbur, who was now in charge of the growing area, had enough and threw his foot down. This meant Fundy and [YourName]’s father also would go to war, and it brought so much anxiety to her. Many nights she slept restlessly, having to sneak into Fundy’s room a few houses down and fall asleep to his hand running through her hair. The downside of this was waking up early in the morning to return to her own home. Fundy understood why [YourName] was so worried, if things were to go south she would no longer have a thing to her name. Her father, Wilbur, and himself would be gone. Fundy wished he hadn’t signed off placing himself in the conditions of war, but it was too late and if he was being honest- he loved fighting for his home. [YourName] knew this and he was beyond thankful that she was as supportive as she was being, even if she didn’t want him to leave like he had to. [YourName] sat in front of Fundy in front of the fire, Wilbur and Gregory were spending the night at base which left their children to their own devices which meant dinner at Fundy’s. The girl scooted closer, offering a berry for Fundy to snack on despite dinner an hour ago, he took it. “Are you alright?” [YourName] asked, sliding her hand into his free hand, “Yes, just.. Worried.” he explained leaning his head against his girlfriend’s. “Not having second thoughts? You leave tomorrow to prep for next week” [YourName] said trying to explain why it was too late for second thinking, Fundy dramatically groaned laughing as he leaned back “Don’t remind me!” he huffed. [YourName] laughed looking back behind her and toward her boyfriend, “Seems personal, darling” she said twisting and fixing herself so she sat on her legs, watching her boyfriend. Fundy sighed, “I’m not having second thoughts, I just worry about the outcome of this war. If anything happens, know I love you, my dear. My Carrot.” Fundy said. “Carrot?” [YourName] asked, Fundy flustered “Shut up! I’m trying to be romantic!” he said lightly hitting her arm. “I kid, I kid, I love you too.” She leaned over capturing his lips. War was hellish. The reason Fundy had been calm because he was working beside his father and he knew he had [YourName] to comfort him once he returned home. He and [YourName] talked about their status in the relationship, and after a year of sneaking around, they decided after this they would expose their relationship to their father’s at dinner. No matter the outcome they would finally come clean to their father’s, perhaps this could be good news in a fog of a bad outcome from war. Fundy was careful with his sword, taking down as many people as he could before a bomb threat was called in and that someone was a traitor, working from the inside and feeding information to the opposing side. When [YourName] got the letters from Fundy and her father, she was distraught. She had no one to distract her, she only had herself in a large empty house, pacing. She couldn’t even write a letter back in fear it would expose their hiding location. After another week, there were letters sent out to all of L’manberg; “ INDEPENDENCE GAINED BY WILBUR SOOT, TOMMYINNIT, AND GREGORY FLORENCE ''. The cheers that rang out through the place [YourName] called home were beautiful, tears were shed, and hugs were given. Soldiers would return home within the same week, so [YourName] made dinner for her, Fundy, Wilbur, and her father. After tonight. she and Fundy would be able to share loving embraces and not be scared of possibly getting caught by one of their dads. [YourName] was gitty and from the letter Fundy had sent her, so was he. Gregory brought his daughter in for a tight hug, Wilbur and Fundy joining in as they entered the house making [YourName] giggle. “Go! Go! You all stink, go change! I made dinner!” [YourName] scolded all males, all three laughed before taking turns cleaning up. It felt nice to feel warm water and not just lake water and to be inside a warm home and not the cold weather of the winter around the warzone. The soldiers finally felt safe at home. But poor Fundy and [YourName] had no idea what type of bomb would be dropped on them at dinner. Fundy was the youngest, so he was allowed a shower first. He assisted in setting up the dining table. Fundy had tied his hair back, his ears perked up, and his tail swaying with excitement. The two glanced into the hallway before returning to the kitchen, [YourName] brought her arms around his neck and brought him for a returning home kiss. “God I was so worried!” She confessed in a whisper, Fundy softly laughed and nodded his head “I know, I’m sorry, but we’re home, we tell them everything tonight. We come clean, Carrot.” he said in the same tone kissing her head. After the table was set, [YourName] placed everyone's plate and dinner began. [YourName] got caught up on all the latest drama within the unit that Wilbur, Gregory, and Fundy were in- and my god it was funny. This Tommy kid seems to be a hassle too, but nothing Wilbur couldn’t handle! That’s exactly how independence was given to L’manberg, right? No funny little deals were involved, sure bloodshed was done, but there was a traitor and they had fallen to last-resort situations. Gregory glanced over to his old friend and focused on his daughter, setting his fork down and wiping his mouth with the cloth. “Dinner was delicious, sweetie.” He complimented making [YourName] smile, Fundy squeezed her hand ready to finally explain their relationship- but Gregory would come first with news, “I have to tell something to you, [YourName], both Wilbur and I do.” he said as if it was the worse thing ever, this placed the girl on edge. She looked over to Fundy who shrugged his shoulders in confusion, so she returned to focus on Wilbur and her father. “For our home to gain independence, deals needed to be made. I was the second oldest at the meeting, and also the only one with a daughter.” Gregory said starting, this didn’t sound too good to Fundy or [YourName]. Gregory closed his eyes, Wilbur placing a hand of comfort on his friend’s shoulder, “[YourName] you’re to marry Sapnap from Dream smp.” he said, coming clean of his own situation. [YourName]’s jaw dropped while Fundy’s eyes widened. “WHAT?!” [YourName] yelled, dropping her hand out of Fundy’s grasp, Wilbur flinched while Gregory sighed out “It was the only way!” he argued with his daughter. “Are you sure?! So you just placed me up there! ‘Haha! I have a daughter, it doesn't matter about her feelings or personal life! Might as well force her into marriage!’” [YourName] yelled, mocking her father, making him even more upset. “Do NOT disrespect me like that in front of company, [YourName].” He said in a stern voice, “Well you’re disrespecting me when you placed me in this- this fucking peace treaty!” [YourName] said slamming her hands down on the table and storming out of the house. Gregory sighed holding his forehead, Fundy excused himself and followed [YourName] out. He stopped her once they got to the lake, letting [YourName] and himself soak their feet. [YourName] sobbed as Fundy held her close, fighting his own tears off. “I’m a human peace treaty, Fundy.” She cried, holding onto her boyfriend, or soon ex-boyfriend, as she let out all her tears and feelings. Fundy let out a shaky sigh, “I didn’t know about any of this, I’m sorry..” he said kissing her forehead. She just let it all out, because she knew she was right. She was just a human peace treaty, used to get L’manberg out of a large oopsy known as war.

[maldito-arbol]

Heart's past is so painful and tragic that I can't believe you have put some hope at the end with Anne being their new guide on healthy relationships because they really need one. Like a lot.

I can't bear to imagine all the amount of cracks Andrias has inflicted on them and how Heart took that so willingly as if punishment and threats were demonstrations of tough love but everyone who has read the chapter knows better. Heart may be objectively smart but they aren't emotionally smart.

Wit and Strength's beginning of their relationship is so sweet and so sad when it went down into a disaster. Strength being so earnest in saying yes to the big question "do you love me?" without being aware that the answer has consequences and you need to be sure about your feelings or else the other party or parties will be hurt even when you don't mean to hurt them. And Wit, so carefree and trusting until her trust is broken and turned her jaded and bitter.

The ways Andrias, Barrel, and Froog interact with the gems are so unique like the Calamity Trio with them too. Andrias is disgustingly violent and manipulative with Heart, twisting their self-worth and self-image; Anne and Heart have a complicated relationship that is starting to take a turn for the better now that Heart has left Andrias. Barrel considers the gems as objects or beings who need to be watched with distrust and treats Wit as if she's brainless; Marcy and Wit had a rocky start because of the second one's lies and carelessness but they decided to improve their dynamic and understand each other better. Froog sees them as people and is kind and friendly with them; it is very similar to how Anne bonded with the Plantars and Wartwood and protected them from Sasha who said they didn't matter. Froog's relationship with Strength began with a nice chit-chat; while Sasha's did during a moment of self-doubt before a dream.

I like how you portray Froog in this chapter. The mysterious Plantar's ancestor is full of virtues and flaws too, you didn't make her a saint but she wasn't someone evil either. She got away from an abusive marriage by falling in love with Barrel who treated her better but she kept her baby and husband a secret. It seems that being secretive is part of the Plantar family.

“You said you were having trouble sleeping, so I made you something. Use it twice a day and don’t overwork yourself. It should help divert the power from your body, but your gem is still unstable. It’s not foolproof.”

Ah! So, that's why she has trouble sleeping because of Strength's power.

--And perhaps there is something to be said about the fact that neither of them have removed their engagement rings.

Love doesn’t come with conditions. You don’t withhold it from someone just because they did something wrong. Everyone makes selfish choices sometimes, but you just keep loving them.--

I love how those two fragments align so much because Froog had made a mistake by not being honest with Barrel about her marriage and the scar and the baby but deep down they still love each other, life just didn't give them a break to sort things out. I bet if Froog had told him the truth about the abusive marriage and the baby, he would've helped her and adopted the tadpole, and been a good father.

Andrias is so infuriating, disgusting, ruthless and so much negative stuff that I continued I would finish by next year. The way he treats Heart is the worst of it but invading his friends' privacy, recurring to the same tactic he used against Marcy in canon by dangling Froog's secret in front of her and Barrel, humiliating Froog with the Jester job, slaving Barrel to reach immortality. Even if secrets and miscommunication damage a relationship, that doesn't excuse or justify Andrias' actions at all.

Heart's jealousy of Wit and Strength's relationship that reflects Andrias' on Froog and Barrel's love reminds me of how jealous Sasha was that Anne and Marcy were working without her. And their confusion at how Andrias holds them compared to the touches of the others is so heartbreaking because they have been manipulated so much that they think being broken and abused is true love.

Last but not least, I'm very proud of Anne. Meeting the Plantars was a blessing for her as it taught her what it means to love and be loved, to have a healthy relationship and find true happiness, and now it's her turn to mentor Heart and help them to heal and fix things between them and Wit and Strength.

But if you’re really that worried about it, you…have your fellow gems, right? Wit decided to help us out, so that means she’s trying. Why don’t you try repairing your relationship with the two of them?

Just like how Anne, Sasha, and Marcy improved themselves and their relationship, Heart, Wit, and Strength can make that possible too.

YEAH I NEEDED TO HAVE SOME KIND OF RAINBOW AFTER THE STORM. Heart’s been through so much,,,, even despite what they’ve done they deserve a chance to become a better person and a second shot at a healthy relationship with their fellow gems.

You got it! Seriously, poor Heart. Getting abused is enough, but then when you understand so little about emotion that you grow to associate love with pain? It’s just. So sad.

The Wength relationship makes me so upset because it really could have been healthy if it hadn’t been for the circumstances of their getting together. Sure, there’s some problems between them, like I’m sure Strength’s energy gets a little too much to handle for Wit often, and I’m sure Wit can annoy Strength with her constant stream of questions, but that’s what working at your relationship is for! Instead they were ripped apart by Heart’s unfortunate misunderstanding of love and Froog’s conflict over her own relationships. And Strength and Froog are both right and wrong in regards to the answer to the Do You Love Me question. Strength does love them. And yet, it pulls back its own sincerity without a care because it doesn’t take the gravity of the question seriously enough. It’s just unfortunate, and man if only any of these ppl knew how to resolve conflict without emotionally destroying each other.

I absolutely ADORE exploring the dynamics between gems and vessels, so you can bet we’re gonna see a lot more of it later! It’s just such an interesting position to be put in on both sides—suddenly you’re sharing a body with a whole ass different person, and there’s Zero way to ensure your personalities and goals will even match up! So, naturally, the ancestor trio and the calamity trio are gonna interact with the gem trio in extremely different ways, especially considering that the way the ancestors treated them severely impacted the way they act now.

Froog is one of my absolute favorite characters to write!! Like I said in the server, her and I share a lot of similarities in both past trauma and secretive personalities, which makes her extremely personal. I also find characters who are exclusively Good to be boring, so I always want to give them flaws and morally gray moments to spice them up. Froog’s actions, while some may objectively look at them as wrong, are still extremely understandable given all the circumstances she’s been put through. She’s a very complicated person, and that’s why I love her. And haha I’ll bet that Secret Keeping Hopediah does is Froog’s blood showing through. Very Glad that the Abuse did Not make it down the bloodline however.

Yes! We’re gonna talk about the Warhammer more in Strength’s chapter and then in Witney’s too, bc Froog and Barrel both have a very personal connection with it—we’ll even get into what’s written on it then ;)

YUP!! God the OG sasharcy’s relationship messes me up so hard. They were really unhealthy, though it’s subtle in the Heart chapter, but there was still that sense that they were both trying so hard and they couldn’t bear to let go of each other even when Andrias tore them apart. I would love to live in a world where Froog had the courage to be honest with Barrel about her last marriage and where Barrel was understanding and willing to help. They both deeply wanted to, but they both chose not to.

Andrias is such an interesting character to me. He’s so horrible and disgusting, and yet he manages to insist every single time that his actions are justified in that they are being done FOR the people he loves. That whole idea that what He believes is best for his friends must objectively be correct, and he won’t take no for an answer. This was one of Sasha’s flaws, but Andrias took his flaw and became a cruel monster that deeply damaged everyone around him in so many ways meanwhile Sasha learned that her controlling nature was hurting the people she loved.

Heart’s jealousy hurts me so much….yeah. It does give me Sasha vibes, the way Sasha tried to steal Marcy away from Anne in PMIT because she worried she was being excluded from the group is very reminiscent of the way Heart tried to compete with Wit for Strength’s affections.

“Okay, so maybe you’re kinda right about me playing games here.” The admission was hard to release, but that hysteria was still climbing its way up Sasha’s throat, threatening to turn into full on madness. “I already knew Marcy liked you before I made a move on her. And I had a suspicion you liked her back, but I just…” her hands balled into fists. “I got her to like me , or tried to at least. Because I was terrified of losing both of you at the same time all over again. I was so sure you’d told her everything, that she hated me and I was gonna have to rebuild our whole relationship from scratch, but then it turned out you hadn’t, and somehow, instead of just rebuilding, I fell for her. Or maybe I already did love her, I don’t know . It’s complicated.”

Heart does lean even closer this time, so their eye is right at level with Strength’s ever changing expression. “You said you loved me first,” they remind it. “You can’t take that back.”

Heart shakes their head slowly. “You cannot love more than one person, Wit,” they tell her. “If Strength loves me, then it does not love you.”

And god I could talk FOREVER about how messed up it is that Heart processes Abuse as love now, but honestly the text speaks for itself, and it’s so heartbreaking…

I am also proud of Anne!! She’s so loving and caring of a person she even wants to help Heart, though she’s maintaining a healthy distance with them at the same time. A kind of “we’re not friends because you hurt me and the people I love, but I care about you still and I want to help you get better because I know you want to.”

HEARTXWITXSTRENGTH FTWWWWWW

[insufferablelust]

Pretty little thing (III)

Warnings : this series will be filled with Adult content, upcoming smut, murder, psychotic behaviors, dark kinks, traumatic events, manipulation, gaslighting, and isolation, interrogations, Daddy issues, abusive parents, blood, Spencer Reid x Unsub!Reader.

This is a dark fic, there might be stuff that could trigger you so please read with caution and/or don’t read it if you are sensitive to the stuff in the warnings.

MASTERLIST.

——————

Broke down the walls of her will, like the haunting willow tree singing as she savor and serve. adrenaline rushing and prickling inside her bloodstream, relishing the way his name rolls off her tongue. glistening with adoration, and graceful lust.

——————

“William Y/L/N, her father.” Next to her’s.

“Garcia—“

“On it!”

~

Y/N’s head was spinning, she hasn’t said anything hasn’t even heard any word that spilled from her lawyer’s mouth. Her mind solely pinned to the man behind the glass which she couldn’t see but she could feel him. His presence warms her up in a way, yet sent an incredibly powerful tingling feeling up her spine, from the beginning he was always going to be her’s— she has waited since cat, patiently waiting for her execution, playing the naive clean up girl for her, but now that her biggest threat, as well as her mentor is burning in hell, she’ll finally make him her’s. She just need to find a way to execute her masterplan.

“You aren’t listening, aren’t you?” The annoyed tone of her lawyer caused her to snap back into her role, sighing softly she let out fake tears slowly— knowing damn well the very man she want is right there.

“I’m sorry. This is all just overwhelming, listen do what you have to do.. all i’m going to say is....”

Spencer watched their interaction from behind the protective glass, his eyes never leaving every single micro expressions she made, every twitch of her lips, he saw everything even if he can’t hear them.

He watched as she cried, tears spilling all over the table her fingers were shaky, and her knees bounced. He could tell that the voice she lets out must be shaky, with hiccups, he scoffed to himself as he observed her. Knowing every single behavior she displayed was a cover up on top of a cover up.

Even after her lawyer stood up, his eyes never left her face, wanting to see everything. Not only that it’s his job— but there’s something about Y/N that almost.. amazes him in some ways, maybe it was because the cat situation but.. the way she built a fortress over her true self, the way she managed to be whoever she wanted to be and perfectly at that. It was like she was an actress, an art.

Then, he was snapped out of his mind when her lawyer close the interrogation door shut, sighing as she looked over at Spencer.

“Are you going to gawk at my client all day, agent? don’t you have a theory to pursue?” Typical, it was to get on his nerves.

“Yes, she’s a highly capable suspect of dozens murders. It’s my job to make sure we get her this time.” Spencer answered calmly, trying not to let any of their plans spilled, he was meticulous that way. Sharp.

“You better find those evidence soon agent, or the court will see to it that Y/N Y/l/N is— was in fact just another victim of Ms.Adams,” Spencer’s lips twitched at the sound of her voice, but moreover at the names she mentioned.

“Oh and My client asked me to tell you that the little brown house is only the beginning of the end, clock is ticking.” His eyebrows furrowed, as he snapped his head back towards Y/N— finding her looking straight to the glass almost as if she knew he was there, the sound of her lawyer’s heels clicking away turned all the wheels inside his head,

Little brown house,

beginning,

of the end,

————

“So, i found out William Y/l/N changed his name to Hansen Sharp after his company went bankrupt years ago. There’s not much of him few years after that basically just a mundane man living a mundane life but.. turns out, oh no..—“

“Garcia...”

“Hansen Sharp served jail time for a reported violence complaints from several different women but get this, after his bankruptcy, he worked as a high school janitor—“

“Let me guess, the women who reported him were the mothers.” Prentiss shake her head,

“Yeah... 4 Complaints, Violence against children, his victims were girls around 15 years old.” Garcia Cringed,

“Her stressor, she wasn’t even going to try to get her father after she left his house but then she heard it and somehow she met cat.” Tara sighed heavily

“No, cat found her, she told me that.” Reid crossed his arms this time

“Oh! i found his address, he’s currently serving parole, it’s 157 Brownstone— i’m just going to send it to you crime fighters.”

“We caught her before she could find her father whereabouts, that’s why she was so unstable. JJ, go with Alvez and Rossi, Tara you’re with me. Reid stay here, observe everything. Lets go.”

Brownstone,

Little Brown house,

Reid slammed the door open, meeting her eyes as she smiled, “Hello Professor, Is there anything i can help you with?”

She knew.

————

“Tell me where he is.” Reid banged the table harshly, eyes sharp through yours as you smiled still, bringing your chin down to rest against the table and rolled your eyes

“Who’s he? I don’t know anything, professor.” Y/N shook her head as she bit her lip teasingly, enjoying the tense look on Spencer’s face as he leaned in closer to where she was pouting underneath his gaze

“Y/N—“

“Oh! how wonderful professor! we’re using first names now? oh okay um hi Spencer right?” Her voice was bright, bright and manipulative. She reminded him of Cat, from the way she talked to her gestures yet there’s something about her that screamed wounded to him, as if she was tortured and this is the only way she knew on how to feel.

Closing his eyes momentarily, before opening them and slowly walked over her side of the table, gently running his fingers through her hair and chuckled as he suddenly grasp her hair tightly— she barely flinched, “Stop messing around, Where’s your father Y/N?”

“Oh wouldn’t you like to know?” She smiled in amusement, eyes glimmering with its doe like stares up at him. Y/N let out a satisfied whimper as he gripped the hair tighter, pulling it back slightly, his voice was so deep that she could feel the timbre rumbling through her spine,

“Tell me right now, or i swear to god you will never see me ever again.”

There, that right there made her eyes go soft, her smile turned into a genuine frown and she felt as if her guts were being punched— she hate it, hated the fact that he even dared to say something like that. Doesn’t he know that he’s hers and hers only? the possessiveness, the need to have him consumed Y/N the longer she sat there.

“Stop it with the tears, you might be a damn good manipulator to everyone but not me,”

What tears? Y/N thought as she sucked in her breath, she didn’t even realized she let out a tear let alone letting his words consumed her that way. She was in deep, and she won’t ever let him go.

“Oh but you see this, Dr.Reid,” She smiled sadly, leaning closer��� so close that he could feel her warmth, and whispered,

“I’ll tell you where my wretched father is, although he’s all bloodied the last time i seen him,” She shrug as she press her lips against his cheek,

“but—“

“There’s no deal Y/N” He cut her off, causing her to giggle sweetly in his ear and tuts, “Ah ah but here’s the thing professor, i don’t mind if i get a death sentence or life in prison— either way i’ll die anyways and best believe i know how to,” She chuckled,

“You see all my life, i never ever wanted to hurt anyone but my father— well and Catherine of course but she’s death, and soon he too will join her.. unless...” She pecked his cheek now causing him to grip the table tighter,

“I’ll tell you where my father is but under the condition that you, my dear professor, shall go to a date with me.. You went with my so called twin, only fair i get the same treatment right..?” She smiled sweetly, leaning back down to her chair as soon as Spencer bolted out the door and thought, If only he knew that this is the beginning of the end, for him.

————

By the time the team got back from the house, Spencer is already waiting for them, pacing around in the room as he kept on thinking about her offer,

“you, my dear professor, shall go on a date with me..”

“I would like to go on a date with you..”

He flinched when he remembered the phrase that Cat used, shutting his eyes for a moment as he thought about their words— analyzing them thoroughly, letting their voices dance around his head, as if taunting him to find the difference,

You shall,

I Would,

Cat proposed, meanwhile Y/N demanded.

He was snapped out of his mind as he heard the team walked inside, placing each evidence and clues they found on the table. A pair of bloodied socks tested to be Hansen Sharp’s, a bloodied hammer with no lead on the DNA match, and a written note of “Have fun hunting, x C” were amongst the things they found back at Y/N’s dad’s house, there were no sign of him and no trace of her DNA that could link her to the murder.

“We need think to rethink the best way to approach her,” Tara muttered, “She obviously knows where he is, whether she’s the one torturing him or not— she knows. Garcia have you found anything linking to the handwriting or DNA on the hammer?”

“No... according to her school journals, it’s definitely not her’s.” Garcia whispered the last bit, eyes scanning through her screen and sighed.

“Reid?”

“She asked me to go on a date, in return she’ll tell us where her father is.” He looked up at his team, to find them looking back at him and he sighed, “Look, maybe—“

“No. Absolutely not.” Prentiss insists, her tone set dangerously low as she flip through the newfound evidence from Sharp’s house. “We will not follow her game, no matter what. She’s as dangerous as she could get right now, maybe she wasn’t responsible for other murders but she is certainly a master manipulator. Whatever you do, do not let her get inside your head.”

Too late, Spencer thought.

“Tara is right, we should try different methods and we have to do it fast, we don’t know how long Sharp could take it.” JJ suggested, he went to pat Spencer’s back as he shake him lightly “We know you think this is your fault, but it isn’t, we’ll save him and we’ll get her.” She assured, Spencer smiled as he nods.

Yet, little did they know that Spencer was beginning to wish he never searched for her.

————

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[veritysinclair]

𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: Verity Odelia Sinclair

Nickname(s): V, Vee, Ver

Date of Birth: 15th of January, 1997

Zodiac: Capricorn

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexual Orientation: Straight

Neighbourhood: Old Lymemouth with 4 room  mates

Hometown: New York, New York

Current Location: Bridgeport, Maine (8 years+)

Occupation: Full-time Bartender at TBA, aspiring makeup artist

Living Arrangements: Lives in a apartment with her room mate(s) (wanted connection)

Language(s) Spoken: English, French

Accent: New York

Current Relationship Status: Single

Previous Relationship(s): Zach (NPC)

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Madelyn Cline

Hair Colour: Dirty Blonde

Eye Colour: Light Brown

Height: 5ft 6 / 167 cm

Build: Athletic Slim

Tattoos: None

Piercings: Ears

Clothing Style: Up to date fashion with a lot of basic items

Usual Expression: Sarcasm

Distinguishing Characteristics: Narrow eyes and full lips

HEALTH

Physical Ailments: Tinea Versicolor on her shoulder

Neurological Conditions: N/A

Allergies: N/A

Sleeping Habits: 5-8 hours depending on the day

Eating Habits: Ramen, Pasta, Soup or anything else she can afford. Her favorite is pizza, which is an occasional treat.

Exercise Habits: Frequent gym routine

Emotional Stability: Unstable

Body Temperature: Cold

Addictions: Coffee, Sex

Drug Use: Weed on a very rare occasion

Alcohol Use: Social drinking

PERSONALITY

Label: The Broken One

Positive Traits: Supportive - Encouraging - Protective - Caring

Negative Traits: Closed Off - Stubborn - Jealous - Sarcastic

Goals/Desires: To find love and be happy

Fears: Being emotionally hurt

Hobbies: Watch TV shows / movies, gym, clubbing

Habits: Flirting without meaning to

FAVORITES

Season: Summer

Color: Light blue

Music: Indie

Movies: Comedies

Sport: N/A

Beverage: Black coffee

Food: Pizza

Animal: Bear

FAMILY

Father: Axel Sinclair

Mother: Jean Davenport

Sibling: Vita & Nora (Younger Sisters)

Pet(s): N/A

Family’s Financial Status: Family: Upper Class, Alone: Working Poor

EXTRA

MBTI: INFJ  - The Advocate

Enneagram: 4

Temperament:  Choleric

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Moral Alignment: Lawful Neutral

BIOGRAPHY

Trigger warnings: infidelity, drugs, mental abuse, cancer, death

Born and raised on the Upper East Side in New York, Verity did for many years live up to the meaning of her name; truth. She never told  lies and she could never keep a secret hidden for long. Many would say that this was a good trait to have in life, but it was something Verity soon would discover it not to be. At the age of sixteen, after walking in on her father going at it with her teacher on a student school night, she would confess to her mother about her father’s affair. Naturally, her parents soon after began the battle of something that resulted in a dreadful divorce. 

At the beginning of her parents divorce, Verity had recently gotten into her first serious relationship, and was going out with a guy named Zach (NPC).  However, it didn’t take long before she discovered that he turned out to be a serial cheater. Whenever he got caught, he constantly blamed her by claiming she wasn’t enough for him, in order to justify his his own actions. Due to the circumstances, Verity decided to stay with him, at the time thinking that it was better than being alone. Eventually, it all got too much for Verity, and she eventually managed to break things off with him. In the beginning it was a on again, off again, type of a situation, before it eventually ended for good when she caught him with her best friend, right before things started to change for her again.

Verity has always blamed herself for her parents divorce, and it also didn’t help that her younger sister (middle), blamed her too. This put a stain on their once close relationship. The outcome from all of this was that Verity began detaching herself from her surroundings even more than before. She got a lot more aggressive, and would often use sarcasm as a way to express herself. Especially in situations which made her uncomfortable. This new and odd behavior made her parents agree to have her assigned to attend the prestige boarding school in New York. In this way she would still be close enough to home, but yet be in a more stable environment which hopefully would help change her new behavior. Verity took some time to adapt to her new life at boarding school. Developing new friendships, adapting to the new program and let’s not forget the teachers.

Once the news broke about her father’s engagement to her former teacher (the woman he had an affair with), things kind of snapped a bit for Verity. She started drinking and doing lighter drugs. Her grades started slipping, and eventually her mother made the decision to have Verity leave the boarding school in New York. She made some arrangements and decided to have her both moved and enrolled her old high school in Bridgeport, Maine, where she originally is from herself.

Even though the move to Bridgeport was hard, and once again she found herself having to start over, a lot like she did when she was enrolled into boarding school, she was just happy to be out of what she came to realize having been a toxic environment in New York. Her mother had made living arrangements for her to live with her aunt and uncle, that soon became like second parents to her. Even for  while  there things were looking up for Verity. She was starting to settle in well, started making new friends, and even tried dating again. However, her relationship with Braxton Davies was cut short due to her fear of commitment, and even though the pair were on again off again for a long time, they finally called it quits but has tried to remain friendly ever since. However, things changed again for Verity back in October 2021 when her aunt passed away after having battled cancer  for a long time. This is a loss the young woman is finding very hard to process and has still not come  to  terms  with it.

Today, Verity works full-time as a bartender in town. Meanwhile she is trying to save up enough money so she can enroll herself to take classes in hopes of eventually one day become a certified makeup artist and hair stylist. For the moment, she practices on both herself and her closes friends, but every once  in a while she gets asked to do smaller jobs for weddings and such, which she is always happy to say yes to! Because of her ex-boyfriend, today she is terrified of commitment and will only do casual / friends with benefits type of romantic relationships, even though she deep down just wants to experience what true love would be and feel like.

HEADCANONS

She has a tendency to catch feelings for people she hook up with regularly

[airi-p4]

From above the stars - Chapter 3

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | …

This one is short... but painful

TW: Major character death, blood

Chapter summary:

Marinette discovers a truth she wasn’t aware of...

AO3

_________________________________________

CHAPTER 3

It was two days after being discharged from the hospital when the policeman from the other time returned to interrogate her.

After the courage to live on given by a sad song that matched her heart, Marinette was ready to answer their questions and face her new unwanted reality at last. 'Don't surrender', she reminded herself. ‘For Adrien’.

She was, of course, asked about that day - the day her life had stopped. She told them how she and Adrien went to the party, danced together, had some drinks… And how Adrien drove his car eagerly, drifting at the curves of the road up the mountain. Marinette was struggling to answer, but words found their way out thanks to the peace from the melody that remained in her heart.

The policemen seemed interested in her witness. What they wanted to verify was if DUI was what caused the accident to fill the official documents and end the investigation soon. Seeing it was the case, both of them were relieved. Still, they needed to write down all the details, even if they hated to make the fragile looking woman go through her painful memories once again.

"What happened during the accident?" One of them asked. Marinette's lips pressed together and exhaled deeply to calm down before speaking again.

"Adrien was going to do one final drifting at the last curve. He controlled his car perfectly despite the alcohol. The road was pitch black and it was difficult to see the surroundings… The rails of the road were what guided him, I think. But then…. A car appeared from out of nowhere and… the lights blinded us- and-". She shut her eyes strongly at remembering the fatal events of that night. Tears were already spilling down her face.

"It's ok, take your time. Want some water?" The other policemen offered.

Marinette grabbed the glass and drank the water, choking on it between her crying.

"Easy, easy. We can come back some other time if you prefer. Whenever you feel ready"

"No", she said between sobs and hiccups. ‘I need to do this now. I need to accept it. For Adrien…’

"Ok. Just let us know if you need to stop, will you?"

Marinette noded, wiping her tears with a tissue from the box the sympathetic policemen handed her. She nodded once again after cleaning her running nose. Having calmed down, the agents asked again.

"What happened next?"

"The lights were too bright and I couldn't see properly but… Adrien… " she stopped for a moment to inhale some air. Her next words left her mouth as a sigh. "Adrien saved me… he turned the car to the right so the impact only affected him… It was so bright behind him… and then the front and side glass pieces were flying towards me and I can't remember anything else…"

"I see", he said, checking the other agent was properly writing it down on a laptop. "Did you really not see the other car?"

"I didn't. It was dark and a tree covered the view… and the mountain too, I think"

"We'll check it", said the tallest agent, giving some indication to some other agents that stood by the door. "Anything else you remember and want to share? Any little detail, anything is important"

"I- Ad- Adrien saved me. But not only that… Before the crash he apologized to me… I can't get the face he made out of my head. It's haunting me in my dreams! I- Adrien was a good person-! I hate it when people say he was bad! He saved me!". The tissues the agents had handed her were getting wetter by moments. "Is it that wrong he drove under influence…? He didn't want to die… It was an accident. Adrien took a price too high for his mistake. He already paid for it- a price too high! He didn't deserve to die just for drinking some alcohol!"

With Marinette's unstable and uncontrollable sobs, the agents exchanged looks, worried. They kept wondering if they should tell her what they knew and she probably didn't, but they decided to stay quiet and ask her one final question, not wanting to cause her further mental damage.

"Was this the car you collided with?" The shortest agent asked, showing her a photo.

"I don't know… it was a small car, I think…" Marinette gulped as she realized for the first time she never paid attention to the counterpart of the accident. She had only cared about herself and Adrien. She felt horrible at her new realization. "What… what happened to the other car…?"

But she obtained no answer and the interrogation was called off.

__________________________

Later that day, the accident was in the news and on a debate program. They talked about Gabriel Agreste and his loss of a successor after his only son died and how he would cope with everything, especially his fashion business. They also talked about how irresponsible for him to educate his son so badly. The harsh bad-mouthing seemed to have no stop.

Only then Marinette came to see and hear images and details of the aftermath of the accident she wasn't aware of. She listened to what was said on TV.

"This is how the cars involved in 'the Adrien Agreste accident' ended up. According to the police, the two occupants of the other vehicle and Adrien Agreste died instantly from the crash. Adrien's girlfriend could be saved after being in a critical condition for days and she has recently been discharged from the hospital"

"What do we know about the other victims? The true victims of the Agreste family evilness" Marinette's heart skipped, hurt by the word 'evilness'.

"The occupants of the pink car involved were two 21-year-old girls- Rose Lavillant and Juleka Couffaine. According to their friends and relatives, they had been recently engaged. They had lived together with the Couffaine family after Miss Lavillant was kicked out of home for having a girlfriend and dishonoring her conservative family".

"How tragic!". The debate continued, fueling the drama. "They could never get married or have the happy future that could await them! If only Adrien Agreste Agreste had stayed out of the way…"

"Exactly! It's all Agreste's fault! Both son and father are to blame"

The debate continued but Marinette was not listening anymore. She couldn't hear. Not the TV, not her heart, not the music that healed her when she needed it the most… Silence.

Marinette's blood froze. She remembered how she had seen that family name before… at the cemetery. The guitarist's sisters… The young man that gave her the strength to face her depressing reality and gave her hope, had lost his will to live because of Adrien- because of her.

Her lament couldn't be stopped by the blue-haired man's music anymore.

[selfless1978]

<previous

next>

BROWN AND BLUE

“Leo?”

The eldest looked up from the book he really wasn’t reading. The pages seemed to be just a blur of nothingness in front of him. He sighed and closed it before putting it down. More and more his hobbies seemed to fail in bringing him any kind of comfort.

“What is it, April?” The large turtle asked as he got to his feet to greet her and Casey as they walked in. It didn’t escape his notice that both looked a little hesitant to disturb him.

“Chief Vincent is asking for your help.” April herself looked at the large turtle, her eyes full of sympathy. “I...told her that you guys might not be ready yet, but she’s pretty desperate. She does send her condolences and understanding. She wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t pretty bad.”

Leo looked away from her, tears building in his eyes. Tears he was quick to hide by turning and walking away towards the kitchen.

April and Casey exchanged a worried look, not sure what was running through the leader’s mind.

“What does she want?” Leo asked over his shoulder. A shoulder that was drooped in defeat. He continued his trek towards the kitchen, needing something to soothe his mind. Couldn’t he even mourn his loss in peace?

“She didn’t really go into many details. There is a problem topside with an individual. They can’t catch her much less contain.” The couple followed him into the kitchen where the large turtle was making some tea. “But she did tell me this person is very dangerous and unstable. She’s suffered some losses trying to corral her on her own. Leo, it sounds pretty serious.”

“Very.” Casey chipped in. “She keeps blowing shit up. Personally I think what ever is going on is out of their league.”

“Which is why she is asking for your help.” April leaned on the doorframe, watching her friend as he made his tea.

Leo was quiet a long moment. This simple seeming task taking all of his attention. Only when his cup was finished and was about to be set to steep did he speak again. “I see.” He still didn’t turn to face the pair. 

Then the cup was almost slammed onto the counter top as he whirled around. The hot liquid sloshing over the sides. Both humans winced. 

“I just lost my father and she wants me to go put out her fires?”

“Leo, people are getting hurt.” April kept her tone calm. “She doesn’t know what else to do.”

Leo’s eyes remained hard for a long moment. The struggle to balance his grief out with the dire situation was clear to see on his face. And it wasn’t an easy one for him. “Fine.” He finally sighed in defeat. “We’ll meet with her tonight. Usual time and place.”

April and Casey nodded. Casey turned to leave, but April stepped forward and wrapped her friend in a hug. “I know this is hard, Leo. I miss him too.”

Leo didn’t say anything as he accepted the hug. There was nothing he could say that would make any of this better.

.

.

They arrived to find Chief Vincent already waiting for them. A folder in her hand and an anxious expression on her face. Some of the tension left her features at the sight of the four brothers, only to rise again at the obvious signs of grief on all of them. Mikey was somber and quiet, Raph was glaring at her while Donnie looked like he didn’t even want to be out here. Even Leo’s gaze was hard as he approached.

“Thank you for coming.” 

Only a brief nod was her reply from the leader.

“I’m sorry for-”

“Just get on with it.” Raph growled. “Your condolences ain’t gonna bring him back.”

The woman just nodded and handed over the file to Leo, not wanting to anger the big turtle any further. 

“This her?” Leo asked as he opened the file and began to browse.

“Yes. Her name is Victoria Self. A few months ago her children were put into foster care. They stayed in State custody while she was told to get her life on track.’

Leo frowned a little as he browsed through more. “Not signs of any criminal history. Nothing.”

“She didn’t have anything.” Vincent agreed. “Been clean. Served a few years in the military, got out and lived a normal life. Got married, had two kids, divorced. She only came onto our radar because her kids were taken. Even then she seemed ok. Came to visit them every week. But no progress was made to better her situation so they stayed in foster care. Then, about a month ago, the kids were forcefully taken from the social worker. The attack put him in the hospital in critical condition. But he was able to tell us that it was her.”

“How so?” Leo handed the file to Donnie so he could look over it.

“He heard the kids call her Mom.”

Leo nodded. “Go on.”

“Obviously, we went to arrest her. I don’t know how, but she managed to take down the entire swat team and five or six patrol officers. Leonardo, all of them claim she moved impossibly fast and beat them easily before destroying the vehicles.”

“One woman took down all of them?” Raph raised a brow.

“Yes. Very easily. And-”

“Chief Vincent!”  

For the second time tonight she was being cur off, this time by her assistant running forward. Her face pale. “There was an attack on a federal prison in Georgia! Almost the entire compound was destroyed!”

“What?”

“That’s not all.” Jade continued, handing over another file. “There was also reports of a woman assaulting two individuals in a truck stop in Tennessee. They were able to get pictures of the perpetrator from the security cameras. It was her.”

The police chief began to swear under her breath as she took the file. Which Leo immediately took himself. He opened it and pulled out the pictures within. Indeed it was the same woman that was pictured in the other file. 

“There were numerous injuries. And one causality. One of the inmates was found with his head caved in. With a hammer, of all things.”

“Do we have information on the inmate?”

“Yes ma’am. One Rudy Barlow. Sentenced for murder and child molestation.”

Once more Leo took the file and handed it over to Donnie. “See what else you can dig up.” Donnie nodded. It was rapidly becoming clear to him that his friends were indeed right to pass the message along. For just a single woman to do all this and avoid, or better said beat, her way out of capture was indeed no small matter. “Have her children been seen anywhere?”

“So far, no.” Jade answered. “All the footage we get from her are short, fleeting ones. But none of them have the children with her or anywhere near her.”

Leo nodded. They must have been taken and hidden somewhere. That meant she was going out alone. She would return to the city just to get them if for no other reason. “Alright, Chief Vincent. We’ll look into it.”

“Thank you.” She looked relieved. “I didn’t want to put this on you. But didn’t know what else to do. She has easily taken down or just flat out outran any of my officers. We just can’t get our hands on her.”

Leo looked up to the heavens a moment. His eyes lost in the stars as he searched for something he could never see. A low sigh escaping the mentally weary turtle. He wanted nothing more than to just hide in his home and come to terms with things, but he knew his father would frown upon him letting the chaos continue. Chaos that seemed to be ramping up. 

“It’s fine.” He said quietly in return. “Father would have wanted us look into it. To stop the casualties if nothing else.”

Leo then turned and headed toward the edge of the rooftop. There was nothing else he could do here. Donnie needed time to look the files over and see if he could find more information on her. “We’ll keep in touch.”

He then led his brothers off of the rooftop and out into the night.

[serendipitous-posts]

There’s this sheet of ice right? Hundreds and hundreds of meters thick, strong and sturdy and stretching for miles. And then one day, humans appeared on the ice, building cities and roads. They conquered and explored and evolved, creating new things, new ideas, always, always searching, until one day, they nodded, satisfied, because they had finally explored every square inch of their world. 

“weren’t you scared?” The children ask them, eyes wide “of demons?” and the adults will tell them, bright and brave and bold that they scanned and double and triple checked, and that there were no demons or monsters, there never had been “they’re just stories” they soothe their young ones, before ushering them off to bed

They all share stories and laugh at how naive they had been back then, believing in things like monsters and demons and devils when the only thing they had to fear on their travels were wild animals, mother nature and their fellow man

The ice is thick, so thick you can’t see to the other side, can’t see the water underneath. Can’t see the creatures that swim beneath it. Nobody knows how deep it is. It doesn’t even occur to anybody that there may be something beneath the ice, waiting

Ben tells this story sometimes, when his siblings or a reporter ask him about the Horror. Above the ice he explains, is their world, earth and everything in it, and below the ice is it’s world.

They never really get it, but he never really expects them to

Here’s the thing you have to understand about the Horror: it’s not just tentacles that come out of Ben’s stomach, it had it’s own body and it is huge. If it were to try and force it’s way out of Ben’s stomach, he would be ripped in half

(in another universe, a funeral is held)

In this universe, Ben is brought up to believe that the Horror is bad, is evil is wrong but it wasn’t always this way

When he was a kid, the Horror was his Belly Friend- someone who would tickle him and he would stroke it and feed it scraps. It was kind of like having your own personal best friend inside of you

His father, sensing his son was having Positive Thoughts, decided to devote the rest of his life to Stopping That

Ben & the Horror are symbiotic- they’re supposed to work together and care for each other. But that’s not what happened

The two are connected to each other, always and forever. They can feel eachothers emotions and even, when they were younger, thoughts

The Horror cannot speak, at least not human, but that’s okay because Ben understood him anyways.

(little number six grows up learning languages no human should speak, words that could rupture organs and tear through flesh)

(it makes his father nervous so he puts a stop to it)

They can only communicate to eachother when they want to, and overtime, Ben starts tuning it out, shutting it out

Luther wants to impress his father, Allison wants to be famous, Diego wants to be free, Klaus wants his powers gone, Five wants to know, Vanya wants acknowledgement outside of her powers

Ben? Ben just wants to be good

He reads books on heroes and villians and takes their ideas and black and white thinking and places it in his world-the real world

He tries to do what the pure, idealistic heroes do- he makes himself available to every member of the household, he puts them first, always. He never, ever ever tries to get angry

Someone suggests that whenever he gets mad, it’s not him it’s the Horror, and he leaps at that idea, because he can’t be angry, Good People are supposed to forgive, to let go

(Klaus and Five and Vanya always look sad when he says that. Well, Five looks constipated but close enough)

Whenever he feels hurt or angry or too agitated he just locks those emotions away and shoves them at the Horror to deal with

And as he’s shut out more and more by his family, he tries to compartmentalise all his hurt feelings, by repressing them, by blaming the Horror

Remember when Klaus resurected Ben and he was able to summon the Horror? Yeah there’s a reason for that. It isn’t part of Ben’s body. It’s part of Ben’s soul. It is Ben. They’re two halves of one whole

And here’s what dear ol’ dad never quite figures out; The Horror gets more unstable the more unstable Ben is yes, but the two are supposed to be one. It’s not just Ben’s feelings towards everyone else that makes it so shaky, it’s Ben’s feelings towards it. Because, like it or not, the Horror is a part of Ben. They are two creatures sharing one body. One soul. They are supposed to be co-existing peacefully, but Ben’s self-hatred is messing things up

So, yeah, Five comes back with a warning about the apocalypse. Ben, worried for the whole fate of humanity thing, forgets to take his pills (i haven’t decided if Harolds in it, but i am planning to make ben a famous author working under a penname so maybe they could meet through that? i dunno)

Five is worried about Ben. His last memories of his family, the first three had been distant, yes, but not like this. And Klaus and Vanya were acting like it as well.

(Luther may or may not think Ben killed dad in this)

But that worry pales in comparison to Ben himself. He doesn’t. . . seem right. He’s too blank, too expressionless too calm about certain things

(his ben had been shy and anxious and snarky and sarcastic . . what happened?)

Hell, maybe Ben didn’t actually forget to take his medication? Maybe Five figured out his dad was dulling his baby brothers emotions and took the bottle away, not knowing it was stopping his powers

You bet your ass that Klaus was pissed when he found out about the pills though, and that Ben kept it from him

That’s actually a big thing here- the others find out Ben had been taking pills to supress powers for years and kept it from them. Klaus and Allison are pissed, because they would have wanted them at some point 

And even though they don’t really know it, they have been conditioned to blame Ben for their troubles for their problems. Allison probably thinks that if she had the medication she never would have rumoured Claire, and the divorce never would have happened. Klaus is obvious. The others are all hurt that he has lied to them for years now

The problem with having everyone you know dehumanising someone, is that you start to believe that that person isn’t actually a human being. It happens in families that don’t have kids with actual eldritch abominations living in their stomach, you can bet it happens here

Sometimes, they all lie awake and remember that none of them are natural, and when you know that is it such a weird thought to have that maybe one of your brothers is maybe less natural than the others

(after a while, even ben starts to believe it)

Five tries to break it up because jesus what is wrong with you people

And Ben has been off his medication for his while at this point- not too long, a handful of hours but the Horror has been caged for years now, and it wakes up and it roars

Ben has to leave the house before he does something rash and Five reads his siblings the riot act before heading out on his own once more to try and fix the mess that is the future, leaving Ben alone again

But the anger is growing now, bouncing between the two halves, like a feedback loop, growing stronger each time. Ben breaks down in tears as the Horror howls under his skin, because the man that did this to them is dead, and they can never get revenge for all the shit he put them through

Except  . . he’s not the only one who hurt him. He thinks of his siblings, shutting him out and mocking him and hating him. Revenge? The Horror thinks, the first time since they were six in age and not just name that he has been able to hear their voice

Ben should say no, should explain that they are supposed to be good and that he loves them except . . 

He is so, so tired of trying to be good. So tired of this runaround, of trying to please his siblings, of being pushed around for no reason other than their dad told them to

He can taste his own rage, finally after all these years, bottled up from years of abuse and neglect, exploding outwards in a violent explosion

Ben and Horror are two halves, but they’ve never really come together, been whole before. But now  . . 

The two become one. They are not Ben. They are not Horror. 

They are hungry and sad and hurt and scared and angry

So very, very angry

There we go! I always liked the idea of Ben and the Horror, in a desperate act, fusing and becoming one creature. I have no idea what Horror!Ben would look like btw. He wouldn’t look human at least- I like to imagine the Horror is roughly the size of a skyscraper and looks like a cross between a squid and snake and cthulhu. They’re still the same size as Ben, obviously, but they look sort of demonic. Probably have scales and stuff

[talks-refined]

Why azula, in my opinion, shouldn’t have had a redemption arc

i know it’s a complicated subject in this fandom but i wanted to give my two cents on it! i promise this isn’t me just going “booh evil”

okay so here’s the thing. the reason this is so complicated to answer is because it needs to ask pretty existential and complex questions like, can everyone be redeemed? how is evil made? how much of you is really only your upbringing? is it possible to be inherently bad? what do we fundamentally deserve? can you separate yourself completely from what you’ve been since birth and if so, what’s left?

now if you walked up to me and asked those questions, my answer would probably be something along the lines of “i don’t know, i just got here”. so that’s not what i’m gonna try to answer here

notice how i said “shouldn’t have had” and not “deserved”. i can’t tell you what azula “deserved”— probably a nicer childhood and therapy— but i can also say azula didn’t “deserve” anything. she’s a character, she’s words on paper, animation and voiced acting. there isn’t a real azula, an actual 14 years old child soldier out there awaiting to turn good. characters are story arcs, development, goals... what makes their value isn’t morals but what they bring to the story. and azula brings so much that, in my opinion, being ultimately redeemed would cheapen

first off: zuko. i’ve seen people say azula shouldn’t get a redemption arc because then her story would just be the same as zuko. it’s... not true, obviously, they’re different characters for a reason, but there is a part of truth i wanna point out here:

zuko and azula’s stories are diametrical opposites. two siblings, a boy and a girl, a firebending prodigy and one who’s average at the very best, one favored by his mother, the other favored by her father, one impulsive and one calculating. At the beginning of the story, one angry and unstable, the other calm and confident, one banished, desperate and without honor, and the other a princess and leader, acclaimed by all, who radiates regal energy.

“(ozai) said she was born lucky. he said i was lucky to be born. i don’t need luck, though. i don’t want it. i’ve always had to struggle and fight and that’s made me strong. that’s made me who i am.”

( zuko, to aang, season 1 finale )

that first sentence was the hook that told the viewers azula would come in the picture in season 2 and it tells you exactly the opposite dynamics their characters would develop on. azula is perfect, zuko is a failure is the message we’re supposed to get, at least that’s how they view each other and themselves, because that’s what their father taught them. but here’s the thing: luck is by definition elusive, and perfection is by definition unattainable. azula spends her life building herself around the vision that failure is inexcusable. because she’s at such a high place, because she’s so perfect, she can never fail, because she can’t and because she’s not allowed to. that mentality is bound to doom her, it’s inevitable. it’s a direct opposition to zuko, who builds himself in the fact that he’s failed so many times, that he made so many mistakes, that each taught him lessons. when zuko fails once, he knows he can get up because he was miserable for so long that it taught him he can survive anything. when azula fails once, she crumbles. azula is a cautionary tale of perfectionism, and cautionary tales can’t have happy endings. zuko’s approach of life has to reach a happy ending, because he’ll always look for one, it has to reach a redemption arc because he’s not scared of the mistakes he’s made in the past and he is always trying to better himself (the redemption comes when he realises he was trying to meet the wrong standards). azula’s approach of life guarantees a downfall because she’s convinced that failure is the end.

both their stories mirror each other, backwards. when we meet zuko, he’s failing, always, and when we leave him, he finally won. when we meet azula she’s winning, always, and when we leave her, she finally (by which i mean that it’s inevitable, not that it’s good) fails.

and there’s another reason (let’s pretend this is structured, okay?), that’s a little more complicated, and it has to do with ozai.

you know how ozai is barely present in the series? i’ve seen some people argue that azula is a better villain because she’s scarier or because we see her more. here’s the thing:

when you’re trying to portray something that’s really, really awful, it’s easier not show it. when you show something, in it’s entirety (in that context that would mean making ozai a deep, 3 dimensional character that we see develop) it’s... small. to define is to limit (- oscar wilde). when you only show small things tho, details, in movies it can be shadows, think the beginning of stranger things when you don’t see monsters, but can feel a threat, that’s when it can get scary as shit. because whatever limited, physical (or character-ial? is that a word) form you chose for the villain isn’t there in people’s minds, it’s only their own imagination trying to comprehend what you made them feel. and what people imagine based on only fear, or anger, is easily scarier than any five headed monster you can put onscreen.

that’s what ozai is: a looming threat. hell, i’m not even sure we see his face until season 3. he only has a handful of scenes. but i hate him. i hate him so much i could scream into a pillow and he’s so vicious it sends shivers down my spine. you know why? because of what he did to zuko and azula.

when you wanna keep your main villain mysterious, it’s good to give the audience characters that he’s interacted with. characters that he’s close to enough to have had an effect on them, so they can perceive a part of him. and boy did he have an effect on his children

( to be fair here: that idea and most of what i’m saying about it came from Overly Sarcastic Productions video on minions as a trope. it’s really good i love their whole channel, red is amazing)

season 1: meet zuko. he’s a sixteen years old. he’s a bad guy, but written so that you sympathise with him to a certain extent. then comes the Tragic Backstory Episode and you learn that he was challenged to a duel as a thirteen years old by his father after he spoke without permission in a meeting, begged for mercy, got half of his face burned off at the hands of his father, and was banished from his home to search for the avatar, who was dead as far as anyone knew.

now you’ve seen very little of ozai after this episode, but you’re ready to fight that guy, right? i know i am.

it gains a level of depth with azula. after being introduced to a character who is starving for his father’s love and approval, we’re introduced to a new character, who seemingly has all of that. azula is zuko’s ever winning rival. she has everything he wants, her honor, her title, her father’s favors.

(i think it’s worth noting that making your children compete for your love is already a red flag for noticing pieces of shit)

but it’s not enough. azula has everything, she is everything ozai values (cunning, strong, ruthless) and even then it’s not enough to please him. nothing will ever be good enough. and you see two children fighting, breaking themselves to please a father that is seemingly incapable of love, but keeps baiting them, giving them impossible standards to reach so they’ll always keep trying to please him.

okay, now you hate him, right?

but here’s the thing: because azula was a firebending prodigy, she got a taste of her father’s approval. he saw himself in her, where he saw too much of iroh and ursa in zuko. he was proud of her.

he was never proud of zuko. too soft, not strong, or fearless enough. because of that, zuko was never close to his dad. all he got was disdain. because of that, he forms bonds with other people (with his mother and uncle, at first) that expose him to another vision of life. and in exile, after chasing relentlessly, part of him is pushed to the realisation that he can live without his father’s approval. because he had to.

azula on the other hand, quickly becomes all ozai’s. from flashbacks you can clearly tell each of them gravitates around one parent, zuko around ursa and azula around ozai. even in her other relationships (zuko, tylee, mai...) she behaves according to what her father taught her, how to manipulate and hurt others

and ursa has flaws, god i’m not saying she doesn’t. that deserves a post in itself. but she values things like kindness, softness and love. ozai values strength, power and cunning. childhood is a formative stage: you often build yourself on the way you were raised. zuko had those conflicting values, because ursa, and ozai more indirectly, both taught him. but ozai isolated azula from other (adult) presences. this is more speculation but i really think it’s true, for what it’s worth. we rarely ever see ursa and azula interact, and when we do ursa is i think always? reprimanding azula for something that ozai taught her. it doesn’t seem like they spend enough time together for her to teach her daughter a better way.

that’s the thing. ozai’s “love”, or at least approval, was azula’s curse. zuko thinks it’s something he has to aim for, and later realizes it’s only ever going to be conditional and manipulative and stops trying. because he knew another way. but azula always lived with it. it isolated her, prevented her from ever finding a better way. his “love” is what did this to her

so yeah. none of this is saying that azula could never have been good. she was 14, she had a whole life ahead, i’m not some psychology master that can tell you exactly if it’s even possible to unlearn so much manipulation and abuse- i want to believe it is. but this is a story, and to me it’s the more nuanced, more interesting, better story they could’ve written. i think having those two very different and very paralleled stories, for a show that doesn’t shy away from complexity the way atla does, was very important.

while i was writing this, i showed it to a friend, who can speak for toxic households better than i can, and gave me a new perspective and the best conclusion: when in an abusive parental relationship, there’s always a tearing hesitation between ‘breaking free’ and doing what’s best for you, and staying loyal to your parent, someone you’re supposed to love and who’s supposed to love you. zuko is a message of hope ; azula is a warning

[frumfrumfroo]

I’m new here and couldn’t tell from the tone of some asks (sorry) but did you like what they did with Ben in TRoKR ? I saw the discussions abt him lacking agency in it and I 100% agree but did you personality agree w/ the passive, “things only happen to me” vibe they gave him? And second question: can u give examples of how soule’s writing was telegrsmed in TFA? Thank u for taking the time xx

Like I’ve said before, it’s exactly the kind of backstory I would have written for him/always imagined. I had expected to find out he didn’t kill the other students/fought them in self defence/it was some kind of accident or emotional overload incident in TLJ. That was where everything was pointing.

Someone this insecure and conflicted about what he’s doing, someone who prays for help to resist his loving nature and cries when he sees his dad, who is so uncomfortable with himself he is covered head to toe not even his voice unmasked, who immediately latches on to the protagonist as a kindred spirit in loneliness and needs her to know he’s not a creature and wants to help her rather than hurt her- that’s not a person who had an eyes-open, all-in fall to the dark side full of decisive action and unhindered agency.

Leia saying ‘it was Snoke’ told us from the get go we’re in a situation where he was haunted and manipulated. His subservience and rote, childish repetition of ‘the Supreme Leader is wise’ when Han tells him Snoke doesn’t care about him. The constant, ongoing contradiction of his behaviour and motives tell us he has no conviction in the cause he’s supposedly supporting. His self-harm and naked suffering in the face of his own actions, his recklessness and inability to commit to selfishness and lack of ambition tell us those aren’t qualities which drove him here. He is highly emotionally driven, there’s no tangible goal and he doesn’t have a vision of the future. So why is he on the dark side?

It’s not that things only happen to him or that he’s passive, it’s that Ben has never pursued or been comfortable with what darkness really is and that has always been obvious. He tries very, very hard and fights tooth and claw to cling to something good in the comic until all of it is in ashes- he’s not passive, but he can’t win. No one can hold out forever against that kind of relentless onslaught. That he was absolutely a victim doesn’t mean he has no agency in his later choices. He’s not absolved of responsibility. But his reluctance and victimhood only makes sense, anything else would be incongruous with TFA.

There was never pursuit of power for power’s sake from him- there’s nothing he wants that the dark side can give him, he is there literally because he felt he had nowhere else to go. I said this before TLJ even came out. He felt he could not escape it, both because of the fatalism his family unintentionally instilled in him and because Snoke convinced him none of them loved him, that he is only useful or valued as a tool. Ben is a person who doesn’t believe he has any inherent value just for himself- just Ben, he believes that he can’t be forgiven for the sin of being born a disappointment, and that everything is his fault because he’s wrong and bad no matter what he does. None of his choices feel to him like real choices, all of his options appear to have been taken from him, and he feels compelled to plunge forward on the only remaining path. The comic provided an emotionally and logically cogent explanation for exactly why he would feel that way which is completely consistent with all the implications about his past and his characterisation from the films.

As I’ve pointed out before, there’s a reason he says ‘it’s too late’ to coming home not ‘I don’t want to’. There’s a reason he says ‘what I have to do’ and ‘he (I) was weak and foolish’- there’s a reason he needs Han’s help to go through with killing his father. It’s not about what he wants (he wants to go home with his dad- he thinks he can’t), he has never felt free to make his own choices or that freedom is possible for him.

Even at his darkest he never became cruel, he never enjoyed killing or hurting people, and he totally fails to suppress his instinct to be compassionate. He has a highly developed conscience and an overflowing core of empathy he can’t seal off. That’s why he’s so miserable as he pushes himself to do things he finds abhorrent- but he thinks he has to, there’s no escape, it’s the only way. In the sequence which establishes this character, even before any layers are stripped away or the investment we naturally have in him because of who he is is revealed, one of the first things we see him do is have compassion for F/nn. Those two characters are connected and a comparison is invited- this is visual storytelling showing you that they have something in common (it will be made clear later on that Ben saw himself in F/nn and that’s why he takes his actions so personally- cognitive dissonance).

F/nn was a good person trapped in the mask of the stormtrooper by circumstances beyond his control, but he is able to reject it and reclaim his identity. Ben is a good person hounded into the mask of Kylo Ren by his family’s failure to reconcile with Vader. The crushing weight of their expectations and their total lack of faith in him combined with their lies and Snoke’s manipulation convinces him there is ‘too much Vader in him’ and that Ben Solo isn’t and never will be good enough for anyone. That his love, compassion, and selflessness are all weaknesses which will only cause both him and the galaxy further suffering.

He is the most morally sensitive person in the new gen, he is the most outward-orientated and loving. His impulse is to be selfless and helpful, but that impulse has been relentlessly punished until he mistrusts it and thinks he must repress his wrong instincts and serve a ‘greater order’ guided by someone stronger than him. He has an acute sense of the impact of his actions and he considers it (even when he loses control of his emotions, he overwhelmingly targets things rather than people and his angry threats are empty).

In contrast, Anakin (who was committed on the dark side and successfully cut himself off from his empathy for many years) was all in on the pursuit of power even when he still had good intentions. Anakin also knew that power was the foundation of the dark side and he and Palpatine would always be at odds, that some day he would overthrow him and take his place. Ben only values power out of fear, and solely primal fear not more abstract, possessive fear like Anakin’s, he wants safety. He doesn’t go to Snoke thinking he’s ever going to take his place or gain his power- he wants Snoke to give him belonging and acceptance. He’s then convinced that the ends justify the means and doing things he knows are wrong and which cause him pain are necessary because his whole life and Snoke’s machinations have set him up to believe that. He is still trying to create safety and doing what he’s convinced must be done and will be done one way or another.

Ben is a beautiful compassionate person and always has been and that is why he’s in such constant, excruciating pain trying to shut himself off from love and vulnerability. He is following Snoke’s demands and trying to kill his past to stop the pain, to kill this vulnerability and need and weakness in himself. Connection was always what he wanted most and he is trying to cut off and cauterise all of the broken, abandoned bonds of love his family has left him with. And even here, he still wants Snoke’s acceptance, Snoke’s validation and esteem. He is still pouring himself out for an other, giving everything to please someone else, the last person left who tells him it’s possible he can achieve value.

He latched on to Rey instantly when he realised they were alike and did everything possible to lift her up and spare her what he went through. He only rejected Han and Rey’s offers to come with them because he thinks their love is conditional and that small, dirty, broken Ben Solo will never be able to meet the conditions. He thinks he is a tool or an obligation to them and it’s easy to understand why he thinks that. Han couldn’t wipe away a lifetime of baggage in a few words. Rey pretends it’s about the cause, she doesn’t tell him she loves him.

He thinks he must ‘become who he was meant to be’ and that his destiny is to become a new Vader. Everyone told him that. Whether with their fear or directly with words. When he finds out the truth about his grandfather, it’s a complete confirmation of what Snoke has told him and how his parents have treated him. Luke deciding he can’t be allowed to live because it’s that inevitable is the nail in the coffin in Ben believing there’s any place for him with his family. There is nowhere for him to exist as himself, he has to be someone else, someone less weak. And in running away from himself, his legacy, and his identity he puts himself under Snoke’s thumb and Snoke can finish inculcating his worldview.

Being able to love is freedom to Ben. He is an immensely loving person who feels like he is not worthy or allowed to love people, that his love has done nothing but make things worse for everyone. The tension and repression of trying not to need or care about people is what makes him so emotionally unstable. Kylo Ren is a mask and a shield and a prison built by Ben’s hurt and anxiety but equally built by Snoke out of his boyhood fancies to control him and shape him into an instrument of pain. Ben could never have conviction in it because it is so alien to his nature. He is so fundamentally unselfish that he never coveted like Anakin eventually did, his love never became possessive or jealous, he never sold his soul for a boon, the only way he could be selfish enough to murder is out of animal fear and pain. Wanting the hurting to stop. Rationalising it post-facto with the philosophy that the ends justify the means.

He pours himself out for Snoke because there is no one else left. All he wants is the safety and acceptance that he has literally never had anywhere. Anakin received unconditional love from his mother, Obi-wan, and Padmé and was warped from giving compassion into selfishness by his fear of loss and need for control. Covetousness became his tragic flaw and thus his fall culminates in trying to kill Padmé rather than lose her. Control became so important that others ceased to matter and love became possession. Anakin (despite also being a victim of manipulation and Jedi hubris) got to make real choices, he had real options, and thus he was a villain with conviction. Ben’s attempts to take control of his life are unfocussed and mostly involve abnegation, he pushes people away instead of trying to clutch them close; his response to loss is to isolate himself not seize power to recover the lost thing by force. Ben never received unconditional love until Han’s sacrifice on the bridge and the experience immediately shatters him from his already tenuous position in the dark. The only thing keeping him from coming home after that is sunk cost and the idea that he can never be forgiven. That it was too late.

He just needed someone to show him it wasn’t.

[zarathelonewolf]

Currently writing the first two chapters of my KNY AU... They're about the main OC, Masako, and how she exactly became a Demon Slayer. I'm gonna spoil you something: it wasn't really easy for her, since she was her father's only daughter, and he became more protective of her when he came back from a mission so gravely injured that he had to retire and become a cultivator: she had always trained with him before that moment and listened to his stories, and although he already knew the dangers of the profession his daughter wanted to choose... the dangers of the path he had chosen and that she wanted to follow... he had let her passion for training fester. That was because she was already showing some form of propensione for the Stone Breathing, which her father was expert of.

However, after his injury, even if he did let her train on her own as he occupied himself by training other apprentices as cultivator, he forbid Masako from ever becoming Demon Slayer: she could still train for leasure, or as a hobby, but now that Ryu (her father) had lost both his friends, an arm and a leg in his last mission, he really didn't want her to end up the same way he had.

Just like Hinata, one of Ryu's trainees, had told Masako one night before going to bed, when she asked him why Ryu didn't want to send her to a possible death but was OK doing so for other young promises... Ryu's only crime was loving her too much, and worrying like every parent would have in his shoes.

She rebels, one night, by taking his father's kusarigama while he sleeps and letting her frustrations go in the forest, using the weapon to create a whole opening among the trees. She knew the first forms of Stone Breathing by self-taching and observation of her father, so the devastation was pretty heavy. She was seen by Kaito, the apprentice Ryu was training at the time, and then scolded by her father and never allowed to train anymore... Not even in her free time, or with a staff, like she had done until her rebellion. He did so because he realized that, to keep her truly away from the world of Demon Slayers, he had to use a firmer hand. He ignored her when she started to try and make amends in the days afterwards, and the Masako Ryu had known until then started to fade: she treated him with immense but cold respect, tried busying herself by doing more "feminine" activities and spending more time with her mother instead of her father, didn't ask him for stories or stare at his training with apprentices anymore... she interacted much, much less.

Ryu realized that he had done something wrong: he had lit a fire in his daughter ever since she'd been eight by letting her train with him, and now that he had lost so much and retired and that she had grown up to fourteen years, in his attempts to shield her, he had severed a strong bond and turned her world upside down. He remembers her last words after the forest incident: she had said, utterly devastated, that the embers in her heart would never truly be set ablaze and that they would have never burned anything worthwhile... That all her efforts in the end were for nothing, and that she would have changed nothing through them.

Ryu, at some point, grows tired of the atmosphere and follows Kaito's suggestion: he writes to his old Sensei, his cultivator, Fukunaga. Since Fukunaga's style isn't to text back, he pops out in front of Ryu's house with his eagle to pay him a visit.

Fukunaga listens carefully to his former apprentice, then asks him to see his daughter and allow her to show him what she was truly capable of.

After examining Masako's performance, Fukunaga has a loooong talk with her father. Since he was affectionate towards his students, former and present, but didn't let it cloud his judgment, he concludes that it would be infinitely better for Masako to become a Demon Slayer instead of letting her fade away, and that if Ryu would keep being immovable, Fukunaga would have trained her himself, to ensure the hardships of her life as a Demon Slayer would be lightened by solid experience, training, and validation. He also observed that it would be wiser for him to contact "an old friend of his" to teach her the basics of Wind Breathing: she wasn't totally compatible with Stone Breathing, and the imput of Wind Breathing could allow her to develop a Form that would be perfectly fit for her: it wasn't the first time Fukunaga attempted joint training with another cultivator in tow.

He gives Ryu a week to decide, and then he leaves, after sparing an encouraging look to both father and daughter.

I bet you already know where this is going: Ryu allowed her to follow Fukunaga, and she swore to him that she would have come back after her eventual Selection, and every mission, to reassure him that she was alright.

During her training, which goes on until she's 16, she fuses Stone and Wind Breathing creating Diamond breathing: it uses two swords, one bigger than the other; the bigger one is used to charge the enemy, as shield even, and for the heavier strikes. The lighter one is used for feints, and strikes that require speed and precision. Trust me: it was incredibly wonky when she first developed it, and Fukunaga and Igarashi (her cultivators) had discouraged her idea in the beginning, but as unstable as her first version of the style was, she survived the selection...splendidly,might I add, even getting herself a friend.

She becomes Pillar when she's 18,almost 19,after destroying a draconic demon on her own: a Lower Moon that swam noisily and messily in a river, making it flood often and becoming the doom of the nearby villages. She gained three ugly scars on the left side of her face, maiming her left cheek and her chin,and one on her back, but her smile stayed just as fierce and her eyes never wavered, even if one of them was milky and her smile looked scary as hell because of the wound; she was lucky she didn't loose mobility of that side at all. Her Hashira alias is Diamond Pillar, from her now almost perfected Breathing Style. She makes best friends with the old Stone Hashira and the Shadow Hashira. Shadow Breathing, for those curious, derives from Wind and Water Breathing: his main holder bonds with Masako because their styles both developed by fusing two already known techniques, and the Stone Hashira respects her efforts. Shadow breathing will become lost in the Canon era because of his holder's misterious death; don't worry, he isn't the one that has the demon friend. He dies while on spy duty: he had infiltrated Douma's Cult, and Masako is sent there with his tsuguko as replacement of the Shadow Pillar... The same mission in which her tsuguko will lose his humanity, and immediately rebel Douma's influence out of pure spite and conviction, saving some prisoners and his teacher in the process.

Masako sees the Stone Hashira retire and leave the spot to Gyomei Himejima (19 years old) when she is 23,and gets her own tsuguko when she is 26: her tsuguko, Kai, is extremely bubbly and optimist to a fault, and she has become more serious with age, but they get along nevertheless.

She is 29 and he is 17 when they investigate the Shadow Hashira's disappearance in Douma's cult and Kai becomes a Demon.

When they are far away from Douma's clutches and sure that he isn't interested in the pursue anymore, Masako has to make a tough choice: but even if her tsuguko agrees with her that she has the duty to kill him and offers himself to justice, she chooses to spare him in the end. She tells him to regain his optimism, because his rebellion has shown her that he would be on the Demon Lsayers side no matter what, and he was still fighting his new monstrous instincts as they spoke, so there was still plenty of humanity in his heart.

In her report, she writes that Kai was lost when they evaded Douma's Cult because he covered her escape with the civilians, and that other infiltrations of the Cult were discouraged.

She spends a whole year helping her former tsuguko, hidden in a cave close to her very narrow den, manage his cravings for human flesh with every method immaginable: she fed him wild animals, exercised in meditation, and allowed him to sleep much more once she understood that it would inhibit the stronger fits of hunger. She neglected her duties as a result, worrying her colleagues, especially the very perceptive Gyomei. They were already suspicious because her report had, um, "plot holes" so to speak, but they had dismissed them believing that it was hindered by her recent loss. It was the other reason they gave to her difficulty of going on missions... But they became flabbergasted when, at 30 years old, she disappeared. Like, just, poofed out of existence. She didn't participate to an Hashira meeting, and the now super-worried Himejima charged himself with the duty to check out her den and ensure that she was alright.

When he entered, he immediately felt the stench of human blood, and... and of a Demon. He had touched the walls and the floor, and realized they were caked with blood: there were no plot holes that time, a fight had happened. Her den had been well hidden, but a Demon had clearly managed to get there. He didn't find a corpse anywhere, not even in the area around the narrow house in the mountains, and using his hyper-sensitivity, he had concluded that Masako had likely been killed a week before... and none of them had noticed. Not even finding her crow, he stopped his investigation and called an emergency meeting, explaining his findings.

Little did they know, Masako had realized that she couldn't hide anymore and that they may have found out about Kai's condition, so she had to enact a fake death: she made Kai use some of his Blood Demon Art to give the feel of a demon's attack, and wounded herself on her forearms and her shoulder, not fatally, but she still splashed the blood on the walls, and then ran away with Kai. She also let him destroy some trees and rocks of the place, and part of her house.

Kai would, again, beg her to kill him, because he still somehow saw himself as an hindrance, a burden, that she had to bear and that had led her to abandon her higher responsibilities. It was his fault that they were on the run, and with an unknown future, now.

Masako, though, is adamant: she chose to stay by his side out of her own volition and following the evidence that he was still human deep down and that his demonic instincts wouldn't win anytime soon, so his condition could be managed. She tells him that they can still fight the un repenting demons without necessarily being Slayers, and that they had new options to reconsider: all the while, they would stand by each other.

Kai is finally convinced. He lets out a roar and he finally curses Douma and Muzan by yelling their names, without dying in the process: thus confirming that he has fully severed his connection to the two, and Muzan's Name Curse doesn't bind him anymore. Kai then follows Masako.

So... For those of you that have gotten until this point: congratulations.

This is, at the moment, Masako and Kai's story. Know that they will meet the rebellious demons later during their self exile,and they still slay bad demons on their own as the White Spirits, two vigilantes.

They will meet the Slayers in the Canon age, when Masako is 34 and Kai is... Um... Oh geez.

How old would he be? 25,maybe,but since he is a demon... I dunno, is it really important?

Remember, this is FANON MATERIAL. THE ORIGINAL WORK IS GOTOUGE-SENSEI PROPERTY, KIMETSU NO YAIBA, AND I CLAIM IT IN NO WAY. MY FANFICTION AND FANARTS ARE NON PROFIT, AND I OWE THE INSPIRATION TO THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR.

See ya!

[dindjarindiaries]

Thunder - Chapter 1: Warm Front

gif via @hvitserkk

summary: Frankie and Luciana escape a party for some much-needed peace and quiet spent with each other, and unspoken feelings start to stir.

warnings: mentions of death, alcohol abuse, drunkenness, partying

rating: R

word count: 3.816k

masterlist

chapter 1: warm front

“I fuckin’ hate parties.”

Frankie sips his beer to hide his smile as Luciana laughs alongside him. “Yet, you’re always at them,” Luciana reminds him, sipping whatever concoction’s in her red Solo cup as she gives his bottle a flick. “And why don’t you ever use a cup? Are you ‘too cool’ for that?”

“Shut up,” Frankie mutters, biting back a smile as he nudges her shoulder. “I just prefer it ‘authentic.’” Luciana laughs as she lets out a sigh, leaning back against the corner of the wall.

Luciana’s not wrong. Even though Frankie hates parties with every fiber of his being, he’s almost always here at Benny’s frat house, finding himself unable to reject the time spent with his best friends. Over the past few years of college, Frankie’s found a friend group that’s become more like a family, unstable at times but also reliable. Tom, Will, and Benny are all people he met within his first week at school—but Santiago and Luciana have been close to his side ever since high school. Him and his four brothers have already planned to move into their next phase of life together serving their country.

Really, Frankie just wants to fly.

He always has. Ever since he was a kid, Frankie’s dreamed of being able to touch the sky. His gaze drifted upwards no matter what time of the day it was, admiring either the clouds or the stars above. His mother used to tell him he could catch a star if he got up high enough, and it would fit right in his pocket. His father used to say he could paint with the clouds, using the edge of a wing as a brush. Frankie would tell them that he’d paint his dad a portrait of their old family dog, and he’d get two stars—one for his mom and one for himself.

That was until his mother finally gave way to her condition, and his father wasted himself away with Jack and Jim Beam not too long after.

But now, Frankie’s got a new family who cares just as much about his dreams of flying. Being the “dad” friend already promised him a spot as their calm and collected pilot, anyway. Santiago always told him that he was the person who steered the group in the right direction—so it made sense that he’d do the same in the air someday. Luciana agreed with those claims. Even though she’s not going to follow the same path as the rest of them, she’s always said that Frankie needs to be in the air. He’s the only one she’d trust, she often tells them all.

So, it’s no surprise that Frankie’s once again found himself on the fringes of another one of Benny’s wild frat parties, keeping a watchful eye over his four brothers as Luciana keeps him company at his side. She’s not big into parties, either—just one of their many similarities. It’s what’s made Frankie draw so close to her, especially over the past few years at college. They understand each other like no one else does. Her and Santiago have been there for Frankie ever since his father started fading, and they practically adopted him into their family. But Frankie would never use the label “sister” on her. He doesn’t know why he can’t do it.

He thinks he might be starting to get an idea as to why, now.

Frankie looks over to see Luciana bobbing her head to the hip-hop tunes that blare out of Benny’s speakers—a firm rule for his parties: current hits only. Her brown eyes are sparkling as she watches the crowd of drunken college kids dancing in front of them, and Frankie likens the appearance of them to that of fresh honey dripping into a warm mug of tea. She has her dark hair tied back in a loose bun behind her head, and a few pieces fall around her face as her free hand tucks them away absentmindedly. Freckles adorn her nose and cheeks, and Frankie has to try to suppress the warmth in his chest when he thinks about how fitting they are for her.

Luciana soon catches Frankie’s eye, and she raises an eyebrow at him curiously. “What?” she asks, observing his close stare. She covers her mouth with her hand self-consciously. “Is there something in my teeth?”

“No! No,” Frankie assures her, chuckling a bit as he takes a hold of her wrist and brings her hand back down. “I just—” Frankie pauses, trying to think of a way to cover his ass, “—I was making sure you’re still awake.”

Luciana furrows her brow as she laughs at him. “I’m not sure how anyone could fall asleep easily here, Frankie,” she remarks, taking another sip of her drink.

Frankie tries to laugh it off, tipping the brim of his hat on his head before taking a swig from his bottle. “If I wasn’t standing, I probably could.”

“I know,” Luciana agrees, nudging his shoulder playfully. “You’re an old man stuck inside a college kid’s body, Francisco.”

Frankie wrinkles his nose at the sound of his full name. “What did you call me, Luciana?”

Luciana gasps lightly and narrows her eyes at Frankie. “Are you trying to full-name me back?”

“And what if I am?”

Luciana doesn’t get a chance to answer before Benny suddenly stumbles over to them, throwing his arms around their shoulders. Frankie and Luciana both fall back a bit at the sudden taking of his weight. Some of the drink in his cup sloshes on Frankie’s shoulder, and he holds back a heavy sigh as the reeking scent of vodka hits his nostrils. “Franksters! Luci-Goosey!” Benny greets them, his voice slurred. “What are y’all doing in the corner?”

“Minding our own business,” Frankie answers simply, earning a snort from Luciana.

“Oh, c’mon,” Benny scoffs. “You’re always avoidin’ the fun! You should go dance!”

“I’d rather watch people make asses of themselves,” Luciana asserts, gesturing to the main part of the house where some hotshot’s just tried to do a backflip—and ended up kicking one of their buddies in the face while also landing straight on their back.

“Fuck, y’all are boring as hell,” Benny whines, taking his own weight again as he lifts his arms from Frankie’s and Luciana’s shoulders. “But thanks for comin’!”

“We always do,” Frankie reminds him, slapping his shoulder in a friendly manner before he stumbles somewhere else.

Frankie and Luciana share a glance, barely able to contain their laughter as they shake their heads. That was the typical Benny interaction they’ve been waiting for, always being urged to do something other than sit in the corner where they’re more comfortable. Frankie wouldn’t change a thing about it.

“Luce, where’s your brother?” Frankie suddenly questions, looking over at Luciana with a raised brow. He’s lost track of his Santiago, Will, and Tom, and he wonders if they’ve gone somewhere else in the house.

Luciana shrugs. “Probably fucking up a nice game of pong,” she confesses honestly, causing Frankie to chuckle to himself.

It’s true—the minute Santiago gets more than a few drinks in him, he’s an absolute shitshow. Any drinking game he touches turns to chaos. Santiago already has a high energy about him, and so it gets intensified when the alcohol starts pumping through his veins. Frankie doesn’t know how he does it, and sometimes he wonders what it’s like to be the life of a party. It’s a role he knows he’ll never fill.

“Hey,” Luciana’s voice suddenly draws Frankie out from his thoughts. He looks back over to see her looking up at him with a sparkle in her eyes, one that makes Frankie want to smile instinctively. “Are you ready to get out of here? I would kill for some pizza right now.”

Frankie laughs, nodding as he finishes off his bottle. It was his only drink over the course of the hour they’d lasted at the party, and so he doesn’t have to deny her request to go for a drive as they head out to his truck. It’s a rusty red color, worn from its years of use but still going as strong as ever. The guys and Luciana have often told him that it’s a perfect reflection of himself—but Frankie doesn’t try to think about it too hard. Going in deep isn’t something he’s mastered yet.

They get into the truck, and as soon as Frankie starts it up, the classic rock station starts to play. It’s his favorite—his parents loved to blast it when he was growing up. He has to suppress the smile that grows when he sees Luciana’s eyes light up out of the corner of his eye. “Ugh, Frankie, you have the best fuckin’ taste in music,” she tells him, closing her eyes as “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac flows out from the speakers. “I swear to God. Sing it, Stevie girl.”

Frankie chuckles, taking off for the local pizza place as Luciana hums along to the tune. He looks over every once in a while to see her gazing out of the open window, as if she’s lost in her own little world. Frankie’s always admired the way she does that so easily. Luciana often escapes into the worlds of her creation, but she somehow also stays grounded to her reality. She’s always been the person that’s able to get Frankie to escape his reality if even for a little bit—and that’s just one of the many reasons why he’s so drawn to her. It’s reaching a dangerous level, and he knows it.

It’s not a conversation he’s had with Santiago yet, but he knows exactly what would result from it. Santiago and Luciana are practically attached at the hip. They’re the kind of twins that truly share everything with each other—and should his sister’s heart be placed into Frankie’s hands, he knows Santiago would be on his case all the time. To make shit easier, Frankie knows Santiago wouldn’t let that happen in the first place. Luciana is off limits in any sense other than friendship, so Frankie doesn’t even let himself get there mentally. For now.

“Thunder only happens when it’s rainin’,” Luciana joins in with Stevie’s voice, and Frankie bites back a smile upon hearing it. “Players only love you when they’re playin’.” Luciana releases a light sigh, finally looking back over at Frankie as he navigates the dark roads. “I wish it was raining right now.”

“Yeah?” Frankie remarks, raising an eyebrow. “Why? Are you a pluviophile, now?”

Luciana giggles softly. “I always have been, Frankie. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed.”

Frankie shrugs, turning into the parking lot of the pizza place. “When have we ever talked about rain?”

“Fair point. I guess we have to do it more often.”

Frankie nods, putting the car in park and flashing her a quick smile. “I guess so.” He starts to get out of the car—leaving it running so that Luciana can stay inside with the tunes playing—but pauses as he holds up a finger and narrows his eyes in concentration. “A pepperoni eight-cut with the Italian parmesan crust?”

“You know me so well, Morales.” She offers a bright smile, one that involuntarily makes Frankie’s chest warm up as he completely gets out of the truck and heads inside. He places their order and waits for it, trying not to drown in his thoughts as he pictures himself flying high above them. He even tries his hand at daydreaming, attempting to envision himself painting his way through the clouds. He can see the world so small beneath him, putting himself in a place where he doesn’t have to think about everything he’s left there. All that would matter is keeping his eyes on the horizon and steering ahead—and maybe even capturing a star when the sun sets.

His daydream’s soon interrupted by the finishing of his order, and he takes the box with a low thank-you before heading back inside the truck. Frankie sets it on the backseat, chuckling when Luciana dramatically inhales the scent of the freshly baked pizza.

“God damn, do they make some heavenly shit here,” Luciana comments, causing Frankie to laugh harder as he starts to head back to the house. “I can’t wait to devour that.”

“That makes two of us,” Frankie agrees, glancing over at Luciana quickly as he drives on.

“Four slices for each of us,” Luciana reminds him. “It’s perfect.”

“Four?” Frankie scoffs playfully. “Last time, you could only handle three.”

“Oh, fuck off, Flyboy,” Luciana retorts. “Last time we also got garlic knots. I can only hold so much at once.”

“Sure, Luce. Sure.” Frankie laughs as Luciana swats at his shoulder, and he sees her shaking her head with a hidden smile as she crosses her arms.

They spend the rest of the drive listening to the tunes of the radio, sitting in an otherwise peaceful silence. It’s not too long until Frankie’s pulling into the long driveway of the house. It’s a respectively large space, split between the boys and Luciana. Everyone’s able to have their own rooms—save for Will and Benny, but Benny usually splits his time up between staying there and staying at the frat house—and they never let it get too crazy. Parties are always held at Benny’s frat house, which helps to keep their own home in shape. If it’s just the six of them, they’ll keep the party to themselves, but otherwise their home is like a sacred space just for their little family. Frankie wouldn’t have it any other way.

Just as Frankie’s about to turn the engine off, Luciana stops him, keeping his hand from touching the keys as she shakes her head. “Let’s eat in here,” she suggests, already starting to reach back for the pizza. “I’m really feeling these songs right now.”

“I can turn the radio on in the house,” Frankie reminds her, gesturing with his thumb to the house behind him.

“Yeah, but there’s something about it coming through the truck speakers.” Luciana sets the pizza box down onto the center console, opening it and taking a slice for herself. “It just really hits deep.”

Frankie snorts, also taking a slice and folding it in half. “Alright, but if you get grease stains on my seats, I’ll have no choice but to fucking kill you.”

“You got it, ‘dad,’” Luciana jokes, and Frankie shakes his head as she lets out a laugh. They continue to eat and bop along to the songs that play, mostly accompanied by Luciana’s random commentary on the selections. “Have you ever thought about how fuckin’ creepy this song is?” she reflects when The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” starts playing. “Like, it’s a love song, but he’s basically like ‘I’m always watching you.’ That shit is terrifying.”

“What, you wouldn’t find it romantic if someone was watching you all the time?” Frankie teases her while he moves onto his third piece of pizza, pleased to find that he still hasn’t gotten a grease stain on his jeans yet.

“Hell no!” Luciana lets out a cut laugh, shaking her head as she also goes for her third slice.

“Okay, fair.” Frankie pauses to bite off a piece and chew it up, contemplating his next few words as he does so. “Then, what would you consider romantic?”

“Jesus, there’s like… so many things.” Luciana’s gaze drifts to the roof of the car as she thinks, chewing on her food as she does so. Frankie waits curiously for her response, continuing to eat as he watches her think. “I mean, for starters, you can never go wrong with pulling the gentleman card. You know, like opening doors and pulling out chairs.”

“That’s not cheesy?”

“No! If anything, the fact that it’s going out of style is so depressing to me.” Luciana clicks her tongue and shakes her head, and Frankie can tell by the way she’s narrowed her eyes that she’s thinking again. “Honestly, the most important thing is just knowing what she likes. You gotta make sure you’re playing her favorite songs and bringing her to her favorite places—without her having to tell you ahead of time. Picking up on those hints along the way is so important.”

“Noted.” Frankie finishes off his third piece after he speaks, watching as Luciana raises an eyebrow at him.

“Plan on being romantic anytime soon, Morales?”

Frankie scoffs, shaking his head as he reaches for his last slice. “No, not likely. But it’s good to know.” He shovels a bite into his mouth, hoping it’ll keep him from having to speak again. Frankie soon realizes he’s unsuccessful, as Luciana’s head has now tilted in a curious manner at him. He releases a sigh, waiting until he finishes chewing to go on. “Maybe, one day, I’ll be able to take someone up to the sky with me. Show them the clouds. Catch a star for them.” Frankie shrugs. “Just—y’know—that’s probably not something I’ll have soon.”

Luciana smiles a bit, but Frankie easily sees a hint of darkness in her gaze. “That’s sweet, Frankie. But why don’t you think you can have it soon?”

Frankie’s breath catches in his throat. Why does he think he can’t have it soon? Because he’s not ready to let his heart be taken? Because he’s so guarded that only five other people know his true heart, but still don’t even know all of it? Because he’s denying himself a painful truth? Frankie doesn’t have a fucking clue. But Luciana’s still waiting for an answer, her dark gaze glittering as she waits to take her last slice into her mouth. “Not enough time, I guess. And how can I show someone the sky when I don’t even have my piloting license yet?”

“Fair point,” Luciana agrees, finally digging into her pizza. Frankie holds back a sigh of relief, continuing with his slice as well. They finish off their servings in comfortable silence, letting the sounds of classic rock lull them into a rhythmic state of conscious slumber. Frankie’s thoughts solely drift to the words of the singers, and he pictures himself hearing the songs play as he returns home from piloting school—his mother singing along with them as he shows her his license. She would smile at him in that endearing way she always used to and playfully ask if they can play Journey on their way up when she finally gets to fly with him. I want some Journey on our first journey!, she always used to joke with Frankie. Now, he just tries not to listen to Journey at all.

His trance is broken when Luciana suddenly lets out a gasp, and Frankie feels alert for a moment until he realizes that a new song’s come on the radio. He tunes his ears in and hears the beginning instrumental of Foreigner’s “Waiting For a Girl Like You”—a guilty pleasure song of his that he’s not willing to reveal to anyone else. But it must be Luciana’s, too, because she’s looking at Frankie with excitement in her dark gaze. “This… this is my fuckin’ song,” Luciana tells him, clearing her throat as the lyrics soon come in.

“Of all songs, you chose one of classic rock’s cheesiest?” Frankie jokes.

Luciana places a hand on her chest, pretending to be hurt. “It’s not cheesy. It’s romantic. And it’s an absolute classic.”

Frankie raises his hands in fake surrender. “Alright, Luce, you got me there. Go ahead, freak out.”

Luciana narrows her eyes at him, laughing it off as she starts to let herself jam along. “Maybe I’m wrong, won’t you tell me if I’m comin’ on too strong?”

“This heart of mine has been hurt before, this time I wanna be sure…” Frankie murmurs the words under his breath, hoping Luciana won’t hear it over her own singing. He would never hear the end of it.

“I’ve been waiting!... for a girl like you, to come into my life.” Luciana sings the words unashamedly, closing her eyes as she spreads her arms wide. Frankie chuckles lightly—more in admiration of her free spirit than in amusement. Luciana finishes the chorus and shakes her head, looking at Frankie with a raised brow. “I’m telling you. A fuckin’ classic.”

“Hey, I believe you,” Frankie retorts, chuckling as he releases a sigh. He looks around, seeing the dark street around them. “I think we’ve overstayed our welcome in this truck. She’s gonna be begging for mercy if we don’t go inside soon.”

“Shit, I didn’t even think about that,” Luciana confesses, reaching for the empty pizza box. “I’m sorry, Frankie.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Frankie assures her. “It was worth it.”

Luciana simply smiles in response, setting Frankie’s chest ablaze yet again as they walk inside the house together. They remain silent as they settle in, soon heading upstairs to their respective bedrooms. Before they part, Luciana stops Frankie for a moment, her hand reaching for his arm. Frankie faces her with his brow raised. “Thank you, Frankie,” she says softly, her dark gaze looking straight into his. “For always being there for me—and getting some damn good pizza with some hella’ good tunes.”

Frankie chuckles softly, shaking his head at her. “You don’t have to thank me, Luci. I enjoy it just as much.”

Luciana widens her smile, bidding Frankie goodnight before she disappears into her room. Frankie bites back his own, entering his room and preparing for bed. He flops down onto it with a sigh, hating the way his mind feels cloudier than usual. He’s being swept by a feeling he’s had before—but it’s starting to almost overpower him now. Frankie’s afraid he won’t be able to ignore it anymore.

The lyrics to the song are stuck in his head. It’s a torturous reminder of himself and his own heart—and that’s why he’s annoyed when the lyrics run through his mind. It feels so right, so warm and true, the words taunt him. I need to know if you feel it too. Does he, though? Because Frankie’s pretty damn certain he’s content with ignoring every feeling he has. He’s been doing it ever since his mother passed—and he’s pretty sure he can keep doing it.

But then he thinks on that chorus: I’ve been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. And Frankie can’t help wondering if that’s exactly what’s happening. As he hides himself underneath his covers to sleep, he hears distant thunder rumble outside, and he smiles for the fact Luciana will get her pluviophile moment—even if she’s asleep.

next part: chapter 2: cold front

thunder tag list: @youhavereachedtheendofpie​ @charmantbarnes​ @theindiealto​ @fangirl-and-stuff​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @maybege​ @amarvelousmandalorian​ @seawhisperer​ @mrsparknuts​ @saltywintersoldat​ @softpedropascal​ @i-hide-inside-my-head​ @sunshinepascal​

permanent tag list: @mikahid​ @theforceofdarkandlight​ @stilllivindue2spite​ @givemethatgold​ @xbrujita​ @mandalorianspace​ @blushingwueen​ @sevvysaurus​ @myakai13​ @thisis-theway​ @beskars​ @rachelloveseveryone​ @theindiealto​ @hiscyarika​ @burningsoulbloodyheart​ @wickedfrsgrl​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​ @bookwafflefangirl​ @charliepeaceout​ @lavenderl3mons​

[marshmallowprotection]

I HAVE FINISHED TURQUOISE’S INFO (her name is now Jessamine)!

Also heres a link to the song “The Last Revolver” by Mothy, though note this is a cover with a newer version of Gumi’s voicebank, and this is also a fanmade PV remake of the original PV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xsdMtgEJEg 

This song is directly responsible for giving me the inspiration to make Jessamine. uwu

Also ignore the weird spacing I made this in google docs originally and apparently it decided to copy paste like that and im too lazy to fix it oof also its kind of long sooo oof.

like…2398 words long ;-;

I suggest you listen to “The Last Revolver” whilst reading this. idk gives mood lol

Name: Jessamine ‘Jess’ Belle 

 Aliases (If Any): Evera (Assassin Name)

 Age: 20 (On Liam’s Death)

24 (Currently)

 Date of Birth/Birthday: Day 31 of Aria’s Star, 2045 T.C. (the equivalent of December 31st)

 Zodiac: Sagittarius 

 Status: Alive

 Species: Human

 Magic:

 Height: 5'0 (152 Centimeters)

 Ethnicity: Mijean

 Relatives: Unnamed Mother✝

Unnamed Father✝

Liam Adelson (Fiance)✝

 Birth Place: Collapsed Kingdom of Mijea, Theda

 Nationality/Current Residence: Mariah Empire, Theda

 Religion (Which Goddess Do they Worship?): None

 Occupation: Assassin Employed By Kiara Malories (Formerly)

Wandering Gunner

 Affiliations: Kiara Malories (Formerly)

Kingdom of Mijea (Formerly)

None

Personality (In Phrases): Uptight, Cold, Adorable (According to Liam), Secretly Really Kind, Just Kind of Quiet, Stubborn, Was Kind of Clingy To Liam Due To Having Literally Nobody Else, Her Parents Died In The Mercenian Invasion of The Kingdom of Mijea In 2062, And She Had Basically No Friends, So Liam Became Her Rock, She’s Still In Mourning, She’s Extremely Suicidal, Pretty Unstable, Has A Temper

 Marital Status: Engaged To Liam Adelson (Formerly)

Single

 Sexuality: Heterosexual

 Likes: Her Revolver, Macarons, Liam, Cherry Blossoms, Hummingbirds, Butterflies, The Color Purple, People Who Don’t Get In Her Way of Revenge

 Dislikes: Spicy Foods, Her Height, Kiara Malories, Mercenians, The State of Mercenia, Killing For No Reason (Developed After Liam’s Death), The Ocean (She Doesn’t Know How To Swim), People Who Do Get In Her Way of Revenge, Anyone Who Tells Her Suicide Doesn’t Solve Anything, Anyone Who Tells Her She Doesn’t Need To Get Revenge, Anyone Who Claims Liam Wouldn’t Want Her To Do [Anything Under The Sun]

 Role: Secondary Character

Debut: Undecided

 Random Facts: 

Her smile is absolutely beautiful to see. However, she hasn’t smiled since her fiance, Liam, died.

She’s one of the last pure Mijeans still alive, as most were slaughtered in the Mercenian Invasion of 2062 T.C. in a genocidal sort of fashion. There are an estimated 500 Mijeans still walking the planet, and likely a lot more half-Mijeans exist than pure Mijeans.

The revolver she currently uses is a very expensive, efficient one that is very rare, which Liam gave to her for her birthday a few hours before she realized she had to kill him. 

Jess is the definition of a person who gets really, adorably mad if you dare mention how short she is. 

Liam was 6'0, a full 12 inches taller than Jess. You can bet that Liam teased her about it constantly. 

Liam often picked up Jess in order to kiss her without hurting his neck. It wasn’t very hard since she’s fairly light. She was a flustered mess about it constantly.

When they first met, Jess didn’t tell Liam her real name on the spot, instead telling him her assassin name, Everina. He called her Ever most of the time, and when she confessed to him, that was when she told him her real name. He still called her Ever sometimes, but usually only if they were (for any reason) in public.

Very rarely, Liam called Jess “Mina”, which was a nickname he alone used for her. He only called her that during extremely personal, special moments (e.g. first kiss, kisses in general, making love, and when Jess had to kill him)

It’s very easy to fluster Jess, usually, just give her a peck on the cheek or her lips, or pick her up, and she’ll get flustered immediately.

Jess’s most sensitive spot is the right side of her neck, like sort of between her neck and shoulder. Liam used this to his advantage ;3

Jess is extremely ticklish on her sides, but nowhere else.

Jess’s favorite season is Spring due to it being when she met Liam, and her least favorite is Winter due to it being the season where she had to kill Liam.

Jess dreads and just plain old hates her birthday as her birthday doubles as the day where she had to kill Liam. 

The only reason Jess hasn’t killed herself yet is that she feels she needs to kill Kiara first as vengeance for Liam. She plans to kill herself immediately afterward.

Jess plans to give Kiara an extremely painful, long death.

Jess is terrifying when she is determined to kill someone. Seriously, don’t get in her way. Else you’ll be killed too.

Jess’s favorite things about Liam according to her was his blue eyes and his dark, maroonish hair. His eyes because to her they were beautiful and she loved staring into them, his hair because it was extremely soft. 

Jess is a total bottom 99% of the time…except one time when Liam let her top.

Liam constantly attempted to make Jess laugh, which was usually successful whether his joke was good or not, most times she laughed because his jokes were just stupid but in a funny way

Liam is 3 years older than Jess, being 22 when they met in 2064 T.C. and 23 when he died in 2065 T.C. as he was born on Day 13 of Ayja’s Star/September 13th, 2042 T.C.

Jess’s situation is a bit similar to Cora Hallow’s, as Jess lost everything she loved and became a wandering gunner, and swore revenge upon the person responsible, where Cora lost her entire family (supposedly) in the fire of Saseraia and swore revenge upon Nymeria believing her to be the one responsible; The fact that actually Jess is descended from a bastard line (descended of a bastard child of one of Cora’s descendants- also can I just say, Cora had one biological child, a daughter, who was conceived using early, experimental artificial insemination technologies and paved the way for refinement of such technologies for same-sex couples- it’s not that important but I wanted to mention it cus why not) of Cora makes it kind of ironic because history is sort of repeating itself in a way. 

The reason Liam was targeted by Kiara was that he found out what Kiara was through overhearing her talking to someone at his police station, and due to that, she wanted him dead because he was also getting in her way by rescuing some of the other people she wanted dead or killing the criminals she wanted to recruit. He was also planning to reveal to the world what she was.

Backstory: Jessamine “Jess” Belle was born the only child of a pair of general store owners in the Kingdom of Mijea on the coldest day of the year. Jess’s childhood is relatively uneventful, until when she was 17 in 2062 T.C., when the State of Mercenia invaded the Kingdom of Mijea, looking to absorb it into its territory as it was falling into chaos anyway. Jess’s parents die helping Jess escape. She flees the country and ends up passing out on the border of the Kingdom of Lavinia, being found by Kiara Malories (who is really just Aya having possessed Nymeria’s body and using the body appearance changing spell that was within Nymeria’s ability pool to make herself look different), who takes her in, on the condition,  however, that Jess becomes an assassin working for her. Having basically no other choice, Jess agrees and is taught how to use a gun by another assassin in Kiara’s employ, as it turns out Kiara had a whole group of assassins and other people working for her for vastly different reasons. Jess begins her work as an assassin for Kiara by killing about 40~ people within the next 2 years (20 per year).

 On the first day of spring (Day 1 of Xomura’s Star/February 1st, Note The Calendar of This World Is Different In Which The Year Starts In April Instead of January And Thus Ends In March) of 2064 T.C. Jess goes to a small hill with a cherry blossom tree on it, which was a spot she loved to go to think about everything. However, that day was different in a significant way: Jess met a tall man with maroon hair and eyes. She indulged him with some idle chatter, telling him her name was Everina when asked. As he talked (and flirted a bit) with her, she learned his name was Liam and that like her, he was one of the survivors of the Mercenian Invasion of 2062, but that he was spared only because he was not Mijean, rather, he was from Aleon, at least, he was born there, but his parents moved to the Kingdom of Mijea when he was young. Jess also learns he is a police officer, and due to that remains cautious of him, always being prepared to kill him in case he ever suddenly turned on her. However, as they continued to meet up together at that cherry blossom tree, Jess steadily began to trust him.

 In Summer (Day 28 of Kaila’s Star/August 28th; Summer Starts On June 20th/Day 20 of Eros’s Star In This World; Also The Year Is Now 2065 T.C. As April Has Passed), Jess was invited by Liam to a “date” according to him, though she chalked it up to him just flirting with her yet again, but accepted the invitation anyway. He took her to a park where together they watched a meteor shower that only happened once every 460 years, and that the last time this meteor shower happened was around when Archbishop Briella, the first archbishop under the new government system and after the Second Great Theda Civil War, was on her death bed. After the meteor shower was over, Liam confessed that he had fallen in love with Jess, and conflicted, Jess asked him to give her some time to think. After a few days of thinking, Jess realized she had fallen for Liam as well, and asked him to meet her under the same cherry blossom tree that had met at originally, and when they both arrived, she confessed to him that she had fallen in love with him as well. She also told him that she had lied to him about her name, as she didn’t trust him originally, and revealed to him her real name was Jessamine or Jess for short. Liam, overwhelmed with joy, picked her up and kissed her, calling her “Mina” for the first time, and over time it evolved into a special nickname that only he was allowed to call her. Liam also laughed when he saw Jess’s extremely flustered face after he kissed her.

 In Autumn, Jess and Liam’s relationship truly blossomed, and mid-way through the season, they made love for the first time. And, mid-way through the last month of the season, Harmonia’s Star, Liam proposed to her, and Jess accepted. However, near the end of the season, Jess learned her next target was a man named Liam Adelson. While she was distressed at first at seeing the name “Liam”, she calmed herself by telling herself that the Liam she was engaged to and Liam Adelson must be different people- but deep inside there was a feeling of dread that told her that the two Liams were the same person.

 In Winter, Jess asked Liam what his last name was, and he said he’d tell her if she told him hers, and she agreed. He revealed that his last name was Adelson, and in shock, she slowly said her last name was Belle before collapsing onto her knees, breaking into tears. Liam asked what was wrong but she fled not even a minute later. For the next month, she avoided Liam as much as possible, but eventually, he found her back at the cherry blossom tree they met at together all the time in mid Aria’s Star (December). Jess revealed that she was actually an assassin and that all the murders that had been happening had been her and her colleagues working. She told him she didn’t have a choice because she had nowhere else to go. She had been lying to her colleagues that she hadn’t been able to find him anywhere and that’s what it was taking so long to kill him because she desperately didn’t want to kill him. Before Liam could say another word Jess fled once again. On the 31st of Aria’s Star (December 31st), Liam got Jess a gift: a very rare, very efficient revolver, having known she had a fascination with revolvers and had planned to buy herself one. While she had originally claimed she was going to use it for self-defense, Liam knew she was likely using it to kill people. Liam managed to find Jess under the cherry blossom tree yet again, presented to her his gift. When she asked why he had gotten her a revolver, Liam told her to kill him with it. It was made to kill people as quickly as possible. He had even gotten her bullets. He told her that he didn’t want her to lose her home, or neglect what she had to do. In tears, Jess told him she didn’t want to kill him and even suggested they just run away, but Liam told her that there were others after him and that he would likely die anyway, so if he was going to die, he wanted it to be by her hand. Before Jess could say another word he picked her up and kissed her. When he finally broke the kiss, he quickly grabbed Jess’s revolver, knowing she would be unable to gain the courage to shoot him, and shot himself for her, his last words being “I love you, Mina.”

 That day, Jess ran away from Kiara and swore revenge against her. 

And to this day, in the year 2070 T.C., she still looks to do that, waiting for the day she can kill Kiara and then kill herself so she can be reunited with Liam. 

— Submission

Ah, yes, holding the gun that tilts the fate of the universe. Gumi songs always tend to have a really specific note to them and this one assuredly is wild and a lot to take in when you listen to it in the context of the Villainious series. Glad to see it play out, though. I think there’s something bittersweet about how she was forced to do this, but her love stopped her from having to stain her hands with his blood. Him taking the shot himself implies that he loves her enough to die for her if he must. 

It’s upsetting that there was no way out. But, pain and grief in stories like this provide an arc for a character to follow and deal with, and perhaps her story will not entirely end in misery, but peace and resolution of the fate that she’s been dealt and what it means to be okay with where you’re heading and what you’ve been forced through.