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weirdmageddon · 7 months ago

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the shift in lore literacy in homestuck’s fandom

i was thinking about how the people who got into homestuck after it ended—whose interactions with the comic are in a static, archived state, not an ongoing thing—missed out on information that was more common knowledge in the fandom at that time. i don’t know if this is true since i’m not on tiktok, but i wouldn’t be surprised if it was. the fandom certainly isn’t the same as it was before.

ive found that many people reading homestuck now simply do not understand things in homestuck that were common knowledge back in the day, with calls for “homestuck literacy classes to become mandatory” in response to baffling takes because so many people just now seem to have glazed over the comic without absorbing important plot points, and i think i know why this may be. i ended up writing a post reflecting on my time with the comic, my perspective and how ive seen this change. i still think and write about homestuck because it still fascinates me. earlier i quote retweeted that call in my thread talking about the temporal relativity of dave and rose’s god tier ascension in the green sun, saying “my homestuck literacy is 100% so guess im doing my part as a teacher by pointing out whatever i think is really cool about it”. this post im writing now started out as a reply to this tweet i got in response.

i joined the fandom in 2013. i was 11. i had been aware of it since at least late 2011, early 2012 when my friend ryan in fifth grade told me to read it but i couldn’t get past the first few pages. i remember writing a journal on deviantart around this time (late 2011-early 2012) that was mocking people who typed like gamzee, which ironically was very karkat of me. and i remember someone on flipnote hatena i was following was making flipnotes with the alpha kids.

i dont know what caused me to flip the switch into reading it but 2013. i got into it somewhere between april (i think closer to april—i remember it being quite a span of time between the last update before HOMOSUCK dropped.) this was the most recent page the comic, meaning there was no > [S] ACT 6 ACT 6 at the bottom.

i got into it during a pause in updates, which looking into it, was the year 4 megapause. i wasn’t sure of the month until seeing the news post detailing the reason for the hiatus and the status report of the comic’s development at that time. pretty cool i could narrow it down by referencing the dates of those updates and the news post to correspond with the pause!

according to readmspa, the year 4 megapause was a 59 day hiatus from Apr 14, 2013 ==> (EOA6A5) running to 12 Jun 2013, [S] ACT 6 ACT 6. then for a few months there were the first updates that i was apart of the fandom for.

and what an exciting time during the story get into the webcomic! when the updates resumed in june, part 4 of homestuck had begun. here was a glimpse of the updates in that span of time before the next hiatus began in october.

that hiatus was none other than the gigapause, the longest hiatus in the comic, which started october 2013 and lasted for a YEAR, and i already posted about what happened on the date of return.

but here were the main events happening in the story at the time i first actually got interested in it. i wasn’t aware of the full context of them then like i am now, but i was looking at the most recent updates anyway with interest:

the alpha kids just emerged as god tiers from their slabs in derse and prospit, blown up by the condesce and caliborn / lil cal-possessed b2 jack noir.

the journey to the new session started 24 hours after jack called an early reckoning in descend—for context that was about when dave entered around midnight central time and before jade even entered. it’s pretty easy to forget that side 1 of homestuck basically happens within the span of a single day—and at this point in the story, the 3 year journey (which was also 3 real life years) had just ended. john and jade emerged from the other side of the yellow yard through the fenestrated plane on LOMAX. john’s real body was asleep upon arrival in the new session, while his dreaming projection out in the dream bubbles came across vriska’s ghost ship to learn lord english lore with vriska and aranea, and go on the treasure hunt where they found the ultimate weapon at the X mark out in in the furthest ring. in the dream john stuck his hand in the juju, started warping all over canon which removed his real body from the ship on LOMAX. he zapped around for a while but eventually zapped back to LOMAX, now awake, completely out of the loop of what everyone else is up to, and bored as fuck. what was everyone else getting up to while john was asleep?

jade was now once again within the domain of the green sun. im pretty sure her space god doggy essence comes with the power to sense what was anywhere within the domain of the session since her face looks like she arrived at that spot with intent (and she literally has jack noir’s exact powers from bec’s prototyping. also this panel). she immediately dispatched b2 jack to the edge of the incinisphere, defending the newly god-tiered jane and jake. i think even if they weren’t in any danger, she would have warped to them instantly anyway because she COULD now, and i can imagine she wouldve been sooooo eager to meet everyone. even davesprite comments about her rapid departure.

the pre-scratch refugees arrived during the only time serious shit ever went down in the nobles’ months-long inert void session. the condesce used her freak psychic bronze-cerulean powers to commune with jade’s bestial side and mind controlled her, which is super dangerous as someone with the powers of a first guardian. she then used jade’s powers to corrupt jane with the tiaratop. no funtime meetup allowed!

the trolls’ meteor with rose, dave, and the remaining trolls was pulling up into the new session with no way to slow it down. grimbark jade warped there once it was in the incinisphere and took active control. she warped everyone off the trolls’ meteor and sent them to LOMAX.

as john was losing his mind on LOMAX waiting for everyone, the meteor crew warped in. after 3 years he finally reunited with rose and dave, and at least saw the trolls in person. close curtains, end of A6A5. this was the newest [S] flash page at the time, one of my first impressions of this comic, and still one of my favorite flashes. knowing the context of the flash in the story only enhances the retrospective joy i have at getting into the comic at the time i did because it’s such an anticipated moment in the story for everyone, while for someone with no context of the story it was still enjoyable.

so that’s what was going on plotwise when i joined the fandom.

from this time, through those few months of updates and through the gigapause, i was familarizing myself with the characters in the story and overseeing the state of fanbase, getting myself acquainted with the story and wrapping my head around everything.

at that time i found that a new-ish group called colab HQ who were producing a let’s read homestuck series on youtube. hearing the voices and the pacing of it like that really, really eased me into it (maybe it was my adhd that gave me trouble actually starting it?). i caught up to a certain point using lets read homestuck and from that point was able to continue with the comic on my own, and by the time the gigapause came to a close i was fully caught up. i remember the rebranding of colab hq into voxus about a year and a half after i discovered them.

but.. back to the main point of my post. even these posts from hussie’s tumblr exist in archived states. how many new fans know about hussie’s old tumblr? i don’t know, unless theyre a new fan that must scour the internet for more deep more dives on homestuck and its fandom as a whole. but since hussie deleted his tumblr (it exists archived now on homestuck.net which, alongside from the unofficial homestuck collection, has nearly singlehandedly kept the most important relics of the fandom and lore archived), that page is not an active part of the fandom now, because it’s gone. it’s a pile of bones. it’s not living and breathing. it’s in an archived state. the whole thing is already there. homestuck and its fandom history is something you now binge instead of slowly consume and meld with as it comes out. it’s now this rapid information intake that you might forget about if you read it now instead of engaged alongside it. you’re not surrounded by people actively talking and theorizing about developments anymore. the ability to have those sorts of conversations during the ongoing development of the story reinforced concepts, ideas, and lore over and over as we tried to make sense of it.

being in a fandom when the author is still delivering the story is like nothing else. it allows you grow alongside the characters and engage meaningfully with the media and people in the fandom space around you. it feels like you’re participating IN the media itself, especially if you’re interfacing with the creator. it’s in always having something to theorize or talk about and speculate. and people become very aware of these sorts of forgotten story facts because they were applying the logic of the newest official post from hussie into making their sburb ocs or something and share resources and discussion posts about “what just happened in this update?? recap????” it was this cultural osmosis thing. i think this is why homestuck literacy is now at an all time low, at least from what i can see on twitter.

reading homestuck then vs now is like the difference between serialized shows with spaces between episodes to discuss stuff and time to reflect and learn and become attached to the story, narrative, worldbuilding and its characters, vs the netflix model where it’s all dropped all at once and people forget about it after binging.

at this point in time im getting the sense that “homestuck elders” now are no longer just people who were there since 2009-2010, but now also people who were there while it was still updating, probably stretching into 2014-2015. there are many sources of lore that were common knowledge in the fandom at the time that, since becoming susceptible to the deletion of content and link rot, and with the thanosing of mspaforums, are no longer accessible at the source. and a lot of people moved on after it ended, especially following the epilogues, the kate drama, and the whatpumpkin-sarah z drama, leaving a void of information behind if not for archivists and people such as me who continue to keep old facts relevant in discussions. my friend has called me a fandom scholar before and seeing this post i think i get what they mean.

EDIT: there is a series of video essays ive watched multiple times (because theyre that good) and they are exactly what modern fans need to see more of. they really help contextualize the comic and the themes present in it help you appreciate the basic fabric of homestuck a hell of a lot more. i highly recommend them and encourage any fan of homestuck to watch them, or someone considering getting into homestuck to watch the first one.

i think this is arguably as close to the “mandatory literacy class for homestuck” that person was talking about as you can get, especially the first video.

additionally, there is also the website https://rafe.name/homestuck which is essentially a sparknotes for homestuck and can help you follow developments in the comic itself.

#homestuck #homestuck meta #homestuck fandom #mine

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luciferlightbringer · 11 months ago

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Love in a Hopeless Place

Chapter 4

Thanks again to all of my readers and new followers! I get more excited with every chapter. Here is Chapter 4! (Chapter 5 already basically done because the brainrot is so bad rn. Should I make the simps wait or should I post it tomorrow?) xoxo, Dany <3

Chapter 3|Chapter 4|Chapter 5|Updated through Chapter 12

Lucifer x prostitute fem!reader Word Count: 4.2k CW: Slowburn, Prostitution, Hurt/comfort, trauma, fluff, cuddles, depression, anxiety, family drama

Before long, you were back in the same black car again on the way to see Lucifer, a little more nervous and excited than you were last time. The last week felt both slow and quick at the same time. It was weird having something that you kinda looked forward to, instead of just living day to day in the torturous monotony that you had gotten used to in your short time in hell.

You wore your same jacket from the last time, but beneath you opted for a soft, baby blue, crop-top sweater and tightly fitting, black pants, with some more simple lingerie underneath. You dressed more simple and comfortable this time because you did not expect it to go in a sexual route, but your outfit was still alluring if that was the route he wanted to go down. It is the type of outfit that might get some confused looks from Larry and the other girls, but since it was all covered by a jacket, no one commented on it as you made your way out of the Lounge. You still did your makeup and hair the same though, even though it felt a little over the top for the type of setting you anticipated for the night.

You made a little more effort to strike up a conversation with the driver this time, both to give you something to focus on, and to be nice since he would most likely be making this route more regularly, and because you always tried to be nice to people in the types of jobs that were more likely to get ignored or yelled at. At least on Earth. You could tell the driver was not much of a talker, but he still reciprocated in light conversation.

Soon you arrived once again at the big, beautiful manor, and the driver escorted you up the stairs to the front door. This time, you were surprised to see Lucifer standing in the hallway, about 20 feet in from the doorway, waiting for you. As you entered, you saw a warm nervous smile form across his face, and he started to walk towards you as you handed your coat to the driver as you had done before.

"Welcome back," he said, now standing before you, a glimmer of joy in his eyes. "It's good to see you again."

You smiled back at him, "It's good to see you again too. I hope you have been doing well since our last encounter?" you ask with warm curiosity in your eyes.

"Yes, I have, thank you" Lucifer responded. Lucifer had started to look over you again, still the same person as last time, but something felt different about you. Your outfit and form was still as attractive as last time, but it was more simple, comforting, even the way your face looked was softer. Everything about the person you were now in front of him felt like a softer, less sharp version of yourself than the one that he had first laid eyes upon a week prior. Even the energy of your words felt different. Like the sharp bite of sensuality and dominance that had lingered on every word that had escaped your lips previous, now felt sanded down to something more soft and warm, like the way sharp rocks turned to sand after enduring the constant crashing of the waves.

He held out one of his black hands to you and you took it, and he pulled your hand up to his lips, and gave a soft kiss on your knuckles. His lips were soft against your skin, and your skin was soft against his lips. Both of you felt little butterflies in your stomachs from the contact, but you both just gave the other a smile.

Lucifer once again escorted you up to his room, talking a little bit more about each other's week. You let Lucifer do most of the talking since he was the customer and, besides, you did not really like to talk about work. Pretty much all you did besides work, was sleep and hang out with one or two of the girls that you had become close with at the Lounge.

You both arrived in Lucifer's room and he turned to close the door. He then sighed and allowed his posture to slouch. He turned back to look at you, his expression now full of sadness and... guilt? What just happened? He was chatting and laughing up a storm just a minute ago? He looked up at you, nervously fiddling with his cane.

"I... uhhh... I wanted to apologize for last time," he said before looking back at the floor. Apologize? For what?

"I just... I don't know what happened. Something set me off and... it was really scary... It had nothing to do with you. Its my stuff... I'm not used to that happening around other people. And I'm not used to crying that much... especially not in front of people...," he covered his face with his hands and took in a jagged breath.

'Was he really apologizing for having a panic attack and then crying at receiving comfort?' You heart ached to see this gentle angelic creature full of so much pain in front of you. It also made you angry, but now was not the time for that. Without another thought you closed the gap between the two of you, pulling him in and wrapping him a soft embrace.

Lucifer flinched at the sudden embrace, peaking out from behind his hands, looking up at you with eyes that were already on their way to forming more tears.

"Listen to me. I don't normally tell people what they can and can't do, but you will not apologize to me for crying, feeling bad, needing comfort, or anything of that sort in my presence... Do you understand me?" you say softly but sternly as you hold him.

Lucifer remained frozen in your arms, processing your words, as more tears started to well up in his eyes.

"I am not going to stand here and pretend that I know what you are going through, but I know what it's like to feel alone, unseen, and to want for once to have someone listen to me or just fucking hold me. So please..." You open your arms a little, move his hands away from his face, and tip Lucifer's face up to look at you. "If this helps, which, does it?"

Lucifer gives you a soft nod as you hold up his chin as he gives you a soft, sad 'mhmm', his eyes swimming with sorrow and joy.

"Then don't you ever fucking apologize to me. Got it?" you whisper to him.

He nodded, as the dam that was holding back this next round of tears broke. He buried his head against the soft skin of your neck and melted into you as he sobbed. Through some of the sobs he tried to talk and explain things that had happened before, but it was hard to understand through the hard breathing and hicks of air between the sobs. You softly shushed him and told him that you did not have to try to tell it all to you now.

After a few minutes, he calmed down enough for you to ask if he wanted to get more comfortable so that you did not have to put him to bed in his suit clothes again if he ended up falling asleep again. He said he wasn't going to fall asleep again, but he agreed that snuggling up to you in more comfortable clothes would be nice also you did not trust that he would not fall asleep again.

He changed into a baggy sweater and some sweatpants and walked back into the room to see you sitting on the edge of his bed. You smiled and giggled to yourself as he walked back in the room. You never expected to see the King of Hell looking so casual, he looked so sweet and innocent, especially in a sweater that looked a little too big for him. He crossed his arms and pouted as you laughed.

"What's so funny?" he said, raising an eyebrow. You suddenly realize how your laugh may have some off to someone who most likely harbors some level of self esteem issues beneath his normal vailed charismatic character.

"Oh! I'm sorry. You just look really cute," you say with a sheepish smile. "it's just... not a look that I ever imagined you in."

A blush ripped across Lucifer's cheeks. He loved compliments but still didn't expect them from you, especially with how blunt they were. But he figured it was probably something you did a lot. He walked over to a record player that was against one of the walls of his room, and put on a record to play in the background. Its sounded like... Swan Lake? Or something close to it. Did they actually know about Swan Lake in hell?

You both talked about where he wanted you to be, and you moved to sit over the spot where Lucifer normally slept, and sat criss-cross. You looked at Lucifer, opening you arms to him as an invitation. Lucifer crawled up onto the bed and curled up into your lap with his head against your chest. You arms enveloped him again as your warm body heat made him melt into you again.

Everything about you felt so gentle and plush, you had a soft scent about you, kinda like... what was it... Lavendar and Shea Butter? Something like that. Your sweater was soft too. He missed the dress you wore last week, but that would have just turned him on and that was not what he was wanting right now. He still enjoyed your simple beauty, and appreciated that it seemed you had understood his cryptic message he had told your boss.

"So, it seems my message to you got through ok?" he asked sleepily.

"It did," you replied softly smiling down at him.

"And you are ok this this? You won't get in trouble for doing this instead of sexual things, right?" he asked, looking up with sleepy concern.

You ran card your fingers through his hair, "No, mostly because it's no ones business what I do on house calls, as long as you are happy."

Right, because its what the customer wants. Something about that made his chest tighten, but he let it go. The 'why' of the situation didn't matter right now, he felt cared for and that's what he needed right now.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence, outside of the gentle music that played in the background, for some time. For how long, you had no idea, but every moment was bliss. You watched as Lucifer shed a few more tears in the comfort of your arms, his breathing started to slow and his eyelids started to grow heavy. Then you felt him shift and look up at you.

"Oh, I had a question..." Lucifer said, half asleep.

"What's up?" you said, god he was so cute when he was fighting back sleep.

"How much... is too much?" he asked with half open eyes.

You looked at him confused, "How much is too much, what?"

"Time," he said, "Time with you?"

You were starting to understand the question a little more, "Like tonight?"

He shook his head, "No like... nights, amount of nights."

"Oh! Like how often can you request for me to come over?" you say.

He nods as his head laid back down on you chest.

"As often as you would like," you say softly with a chuckle, running your fingers through his hair again.

Lucifer thought for a second and hummed at the sensation of your fingers in his hair, "Like... two or three times a week? I don't wanna be... weird and ask for too much." He was trying so hard to finish his thoughts and stay awake.

"It's cute that you would think I would find anything weird. But yes, two or three times a week is fine. You will just have to let Larry though so that I don't get scheduled with anyone else, ok?"

He nodded, and his eyelids fell heavy. A few minutes later, Lucifer was once again asleep in your arms. It seemed as if it was really important for him to ask that question before he fell asleep.

Once again, you took a few minutes to look at his sleeping face, so soft and peaceful. You were glad that tonight seemed to work out better than last time. You were so curious as to what pains it was that plagued his mind. I'm sure some of it had to do with the whole 'fallen angel' thing, but the way he reacted to intimacy felt like it held something deeper. He hoped he would tell you at some point as you are allowed to continue to be there for him, but that was for him to decide, and you needed to be careful. Lucifer held the power in the dynamic, one wrong move, and the relationship would be snuffed out. You wanted to make sure you did everything to make sure that did not happen too soon. You knew this dynamic could never last forever, but something about him made you want to be there, to help him feel better in this small way that it seems you had started to, for him, and, selfishly, a little bit for yourself.

It was time, and soon you slipped out from under him, and tucked him in as you had done the previous time. You wrote out another small note, letting him know that he can request for you 2 or 3 times a week, because you didn't trust that his sleepy memory would have held onto that conversation super well, and you left it on his bedside table again before leaving for the night. The driver was prepared this time to make sure you got paid for the night before you left the car.

Lucifer would wake up the next morning, feeling fluttery and rested again, to find your note again on the bedside table. He would immediately call to schedule his next few appointments. He didn't want to have to fight anyone for his time with you.

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Over the next several weeks, you and Lucifer would meet up your agreed upon 2 to 3 nights a week, it ended up normally being close to every other night, and you were perfectly fine with that. You enjoyed having half of your evenings being more chill, less sex oriented than your other nights of work, and after a while, it almost felt like it wasn't work at all. More like... hanging out with a friend who just happened to pay for your time. Sometimes that made you feel guilty, but that was your job, he never said anything about it, and it gave you some level of protection in case something ever did go wrong.

You gradually started do less and less with your hair and makeup when you would go over, or you would just clean it off in the car or at Lucifer's place. Lucifer liked getting to see your natural facial features, but he never told you that directly. Every time you would walk in the door, Lucifer felt like the worries of his life would almost cease to exist, things felt more tolerable, even the pains of his past.

It took a few more nights before Lucifer could get past the hug turning into tears and cuddles until he fell asleep, but eventually he did. He didn't realize just how starved for affection he was until you starting coming around, and over time he felt the desperation for it that would send him into tears start to wane and become more tolerable. He still always feel asleep, but then again, you always stayed up late with him. Plus, he mentioned that he normally struggled to fall asleep on his own, and the nights with you made the sleep come much more easily.

The sessions of crying turned into nights of hanging out, having dinner, being introduced to his study full of ducks, helping him try to organize the ducks so that he could actually use his office a little more, playing board games, watching tv, and telling stories, including stories about Lucifer's past.

The first one started after he off-handedly mentioned needing to text Charlie.

"Who is Charlie?" you asked one night while you guys ate dinner on the couch while watching a show.

Lucifer slumped a little in his seat, and started to fidget with his phone, "She... well... she's my daughter."

Charlie Morningstar. Ugh, duh. You definitely knew he had a daughter. It was just surprising that he had not spoken at all about her. Lilith she could understand him not wanting to talk about, but why not Charlie? She was still in hell, and very active in its community.

"Oh right! I heard something on the news a few months ago about her... running a hotel of some kind, right? I don't remember much about it" you said. You remembered people at the brothel making fun of her for a couple of days because of a really awkward pitch she had made about it on the news, but that was a while ago, and of course you wouldn't tell Lucifer that.

Lucifer continued to mess with his phone, not looking up at you, "Uhh, ya... something like that... I'm not really sure," he sighed, "We don't talk much..."

You think for a minute, wanting to choose your next words carefully, "Why not?"

Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply.

"I'm sorry, we don't-" you start to say.

"No no, its fine, its just... hard. Umm... Our family... used to be the best thing in the world, Lilith, Charlie, and I. We were… so happy, I had the best girls in the nine circles by my side. But I was busy, being the King and what-not, so I did not get as much time with Charlie. Lilith mostly took care of her, raised her, and Charlie grew up kinda distanced from me. I... barely know that much about her, especially now, and the stuff she does tell me, doesn't seem to fucking stick in my brain half the time, and I just feel like I'm a deadbeat father who just calls her to ask her to do things for me sometimes and I-" he stopped and sucked in a long breath, then exhaled. He could tell he was starting to talk fast and get really upset, and he didn't want that. He never talked about this part of his life with anyone and he really wanted to tell you, because with you he actually felt safe enough to talk about it.

He finally turned to look at you, "When Lilith left me 7 years ago, I felt like I lost any basic connection I had with Charlie... because she is so much closer with her mother. I... I want to talk to her, I want to know her... I just... I don't know how... I thought I used to but now... I'm just broken and useless to her..." Lucifers eyes slid back down to his lap and covered his face with his hands.

You looked at Lucifer for a minute, before opening you arms to invite him into your lap, as you usually did when he started to get sad again. Lucifer looked up at you, and soon crawled into your lap.

"I think, the next time you get the chance, try to ask her what she has been up to, how she is doing, maybe see if she wants to hang out or something? I'm sure she misses you too, maybe wants to get to know you too but also does not know how to start that conversation either. That's how I would feel about it anyway." you say as you stroke his hair.

"Why, so I can embarrass her and prove to her in person that I am a loser, deadbeat father? A walking trash pile of a person?" he pouted with a sniffle.

"Lucifer Morningstar," you say sternly looking down at him. You felt him flinch as you use his full name. "You stop that right now, that is not true and you are only hurting yourself and getting in your own way. You aren't doing anything to fix the problem if you don't at least try."

Lucifer groaned and pouted as he laid against your chest, "But it's scary though."

"Yes, and you are the King of Hell. You are apparently to scariest being in all of creation, and you are going to pout and cry into my chest and tell me you are scared of... trying to talk to your daughter?" you say with some sass.

Lucifer laid silently in you chest for a minute, starting to fidget with the soft fabric of your sweater, "Well... when you put it that way..."

"I make sense? I know, I'm a genius," you say with a sarcastic tone, "Look, if you try and she brushes you away, that's one thing. But you don't know if you don't try, ok?"

Lucifer continued to pout in you lap before giving you a begrudging "ok..."

"Good, I'm sure a good opportunity will arise at some point for you to try. I'm here for you when or if you need support around that," you reward him by nuzzling the top of his head and playing with his hair as you went back to watching your show. You felt Lucifer soften and purr as he enjoyed the sensory of you playing with his hair until, you guessed it, he fell asleep on your lap.

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Well, it did not take long for your little conversation to move into action. A couple weeks later, while at work, Larry came running in to find you in the mid-afternoon after one of your in-house sessions, a bit of urgency in his walk and face as he approached you.

"Babydoll! Change of plans to your schedule today, 'Lance' requested your start time be moved earlier and he said money was no object, so I'm cuttin' you loose to be with him for the rest of the day. Sounded like he was desperate for you today," said Larry in a hurry, but adding a little wiggle of his brows to the end of his statement.

That didn't sound good. Did something happen to him? "Uh, ok, no problem. How long until the car comes?"

Larry looked at his watch, "Five minutes."

Five minutes?! What the fuck Lucifer?!

You ran up to your room, got changed into more casual clothes, threw on your jacket, and ran out the down. Cynthhhhia tried to snark something at you on your way out the door, something about where you were going off in such a hurry with a bare face, but you didn't pay her any mind as you ran outside.

You saw the car and jumped into it, only to be surprised to see Lucifer sitting in the back of the car greeting you with a nervous smile.

"Lucifer!" you say after you close the door to that car, "Are you ok?! What's going on, you have never requested me early before. What is happening?!" You looked over him, nothing seemed to be physically wrong, he looked ok, just really nervous and... sweating a little?

Lucifer fidgeted nervously with his cane as he smiled at you, "Well, uhhh... Funny story! So, uh... Charlie called me, and... said she needed my help with something involving her hotel, and she invited me over, and I said yes!"

"Great!" you beamed, but you were still confused, you waited for the next part of the statement, but he just remained sitting with the big nervous smile on his face. "So... what does that have to do with me?"

Lucifer messed with his collar, "Well... uhhh... I said yes, and then I got off the phone, and I mayyyyy have started freaking out a little, and I did not want to go over there by myself, so I wanted to bring someone with me, and all I could think of who I could trust was you. So I called your boss, bought out your time for the rest of the day at double your usual price and now you are coming with me to see my daughter... right now." Lucifer sped through before ending with a big, very nervous smile.

Lucifer Morningstar, the King of Hell, had hired you, his regular prostitute, to go with him to see his estranged daughter that he had not really talked to in years, in public, at her hotel?!

Oh my fucking god.

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covetyou · 1 year ago

Text

the dark caress of someone else

part 1 ⋆ part 2 ⋆ part 3 ⋆ part 4 ⋆ part 5

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader x Tess Servopoulos rating: Explicit (18+ only!) chapter warnings: dub con, threesome (mff), oral (f and m receiving), bi reader, unprotected P in V, creampie, praise kink, spit kink, derogatory names (slut), drug reference, unspecified age gap, one singular queef (I'm not sorry), one face slap (with a dick)word count: 6.2k chapter summary: After a little white lie, you go to pick up your dads medication, only to be met by an angry Joel and a (not so) surprise visitor.

A/N: Thank you so much for all the love for this silly little series. I appreciate your amazing comments so much, and I don't quite know what to do with myself.

Piggy in the middle is fuckin difficult man. But I guess life imitates art and sometimes there do just be too many holes, hands and other body parts to keep track of. Also pls excuse me but I'm, like, really bi. And Anna Torv's Tess has my whole entire pussy heart.

this part is dedicated to 'The Sweaty Javi' and 'The Hillbilly Duck Hunter' (courtesy of the wonderful @morallyinept). thank you for your services. (pls drink responsibly)

also a shout out to slasher!joel's big ol' balls (spawned by @toxicanonymity) they've been on my mind literally all week and you would not believe the ball content I had to cut from this. only a smidgen of balls remain, but the balls are there in spirit. thanks for the ballspo bb.

follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future work

song: someone new by Hozier dividers: @saradika

Your dad shook as he threw back his last pill, swallowing dry before chasing it down with a sip of water. He'd been making weak comments about needing to get more all week and you'd always stopped him. You didn't want him to go. You wanted to go.

You both knew that the pushback was all for show, but now a little white lie meant the show was over, for him at least.

"Joel doesn't want you coming to get your pills yourself anymore," you'd told him. It was a barefaced lie, but felt better than telling him the truth. How, exactly, do you tell your dad you're whoring yourself to his drug dealer?

You were fairly certain your dad knew what kind of man Joel Miller was. A Nice Man to some, maybe, but his reputation preceded him. He was known for helping out people when they got into tricky spots. Not all the time, of course, but when you had something he took a fancying to, he'd be more than willing to come to an agreement. Maybe your dad already knew what you were doing for him, for you. Maybe he noticed you had more ration cards these days, a spring in your step. You wondered if he cared, if he'd ever try to stop you.

You make your way to the nicer part of the QZ again the next day. You have a free shift and, despite your dad's protests that you should go spend it with friends, you find yourself climbing chipped steps to an empty hallway once more.

You had left the last time with the slick of oil between your cheeks, down your legs, between your thighs. It had taken days to wash off completely. You didn't mind one bit - whenever you moved the slick of it reminding you of him buried in you to the hilt, fucking you half to death in a way you'd never imagined. Embarrassment, shame, you shouldn't like this, melding together and melting away as he pummelled into you from behind. You'd practically rubbed yourself raw thinking about it, but it was never quite enough.

Uncontrollable excitement thrums through you as you approach his door. And, well, you should have known.

Each time you turn up to Joel Miller's door thinking you know what to expect, and each time you're wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. It seems this time is no different.

You hear it before you even get to the door. Raised voices - a man shouting, a girl crying. You hear muffled snippets of the argument - "fuckin' daddy" here, "you're an asshole" there. You don't want to leave, but the sound of it makes you nervous. The unexpected usually hit when you were already trapped inside Joel's apartment, not when you were waiting in the corridor for the door to open.

You decide to turn and leave, you can come back later or another day, your dad can wait. You can wait. But then the door is opening and a topless brunette is rushing out into the hallway, nearly knocking into you in the process. Tears are streaming down her face as she shoves her arms into her t-shirt, hurrying away muttering "asshole" under her breath.

You watch as she leaves, turning your head back to the open door only when you see movement out the corner of your eye.

You'd never seen him like this. White fury burned behind his eyes as he came to slam the door in the girl's wake. He sees you and halts, fingers gripping the wood so tight you think it might splinter.

"Where's your daddy," he snarls at you.

"At home, in bed. He needs-"

"I know what he fuckin' needs. Get in."

He stalks away from the door, leaving it wide open for you to enter. You follow him in. You'd been trapped in here with him before, but it never felt like this. The fear you had before was because of the unknown, the new - he was a strange man in a strange place. Now he was a man you somewhat knew and trusted, yet in this moment you feared him. You were suddenly keenly aware that he could hurt you, really actually hurt you, if he wanted to.

A cupboard door clanks shut, making you jump, then his imposing figure is stomping back over to you. Grabbing your hand, he wretches it open, pushes a pill packet into your palm, and closes it into a fist around the plastic.

"You can see yourself out," he growls before walking away from you, leaving you standing there, confused.

You frown as you look between the pills he'd just given you and him. "But -"

"But fuckin' what," he yells, turning on you. "I gave you what you want, now go."

You're a fucking idiot, poking the already angry bear, but you step forward anyway. "That's not what I want."

He scoffs at you, hands on hips, shaking his head in disbelief. You felt small just because of the size of him usually, but now he was making you feel small in other ways.

"Use me."

"Use you? You want me to use you?"

You shrug your shoulders. "That's what this is, right? You give me what I want, and I give you what you want." He'd said it himself last time, and now here you were using his own words against him.

"And you think using you is what I want?"

You look him straight in the eye, balls bigger than the universe and say, "Yes."

Angry feet drag him to you, toes stopping barely an inch away from your own. He stares down at you, challenging you to look away, but you crane your neck and keep your eyes locked with his.

When he brings one massive hand gently to your neck, holding your gaze, you try not to flinch. Joel notices, fiery gaze briefly softening, he doesn't want you to be scared of him, and allows the cradle of his hand to push against your throat. You feel your pulse thunder beneath his palm just before the pressure releases.

"You got one last hole I ain't tried yet," he murmurs, dragging the rough pad of his thumb up your jaw and across the swell of your bottom lip. You fight not to kiss it, to take it into your mouth and show him how useful you can be.

The hand drags down your body, fingertips pulling at the neckline of your shirt, before he reaches its hem. You think he's going to put a hand up it, feel your bare skin underneath. Instead he bunches the fabric taught against your chest in one fist, yanking you even closer to him, his fist keeping you from falling flush against his torso.

"Take this off," his breath whispers across your face.

Grip loosening on your shirt, you try not to stumble back as you pull your shirt over your head, cheeks heating when you briefly get it caught on your chin. You weren't wearing a bra today, but if he notices he doesn't react.

Fingers tug at your belt loops. "And these."

You unbutton your pants, pulling them down your legs and off your body, taking your shoes with them. You try not to think about if the other girl was this dressed when Joel decided to kick her out.

Joel kicks your clothes away from you, you watch them skid across the floor, pill packet clattering along with them, before turning back, the fire in his eyes back and all softness forgotten.

"On your fuckin' knees."

You thud to your knees and look up at him. He takes a step back, as if he suddenly doesn't trust himself to be close to you. The thought of him actually hurting you crosses your mind again - you wonder if that'd turn you on the same as the other things he does, the things he does to hurt but make you feel good too. Maybe it would. Maybe if he really wanted to you'd let him.

His eyes rake down your body, taking in your bare tits, nipples hardened under the chill of the room, down the swell of your stomach, across the meat of your thighs and to the dampness forming on the front of your panties.

"Want me to use you, huh?" he says, nostrils flaring as his hands flex beside him.

Your eyes flick to his crotch. You'd only been this close to him in your fantasies, but you find you're salivating just as much as you do in your dreams, aching to run your hands across him and really, finally, feel him.

As if reading your mind, his hand caresses across the front of his pants. Where there had been nothing but the soft shape of him before was a growing tent as he hardened before you. "You want this?"

You nod.

He threads a hand through your hair, scratching at your scalp and cradling your head in his palm. He forces your head back further, until you're looking directly up at him.

"You're gonna have to ask nicely for it, sweetheart."

"Please can I have it," you beg, sounding as needy as you feel. You've never needed anything more than you need this. You know he can see it in your face, in the way you lick your lips as you take him in.

He yanks his pants down in an instant, cock bouncing from their confines. He grabs it in his fist, large hand stroking gently up his length to tug at his tip as he grows. It looks huge in his hand, but you know it'd look so much bigger in yours.

You look up at him wide eyed as you watch him stroke himself. A few strokes and he's solid already. For all you've done with him, for how you've had him inside you, you've never seen it this close. Never seen how veins ripple under skin, foreskin moves back with the movement of his hand to reveal his flushed tip, slit beckoning you to taste.

"Please can I have your co- "

The hard length of him collides harshly with the side of your face. Your lips part in a gasp. You stop yourself from chasing it and engulfing it with your mouth. He hasn't said you could, and you're not stepping a toe out of line. He needs you to be good.

"You really want it?" he teases.

You nod frantically. You must look dumb, like one of those nodding dog ornaments from years ago - glassy eyed and head bobbing at just about anything.

"Kiss it." You do, hesitantly placing a gentle kiss to one side of his tip, then the other, before placing an even softer kiss to his slit. There's a thrill knowing you'd never kissed any part of him before, knowing that the first time you'd pressed your lips to him it was to his cock. If anyone ever found out maybe you'd be embarrassed, but here, in this room, all you wanted was more.

Swallowing heavily and lifting his shaft, he pulls your head closer to him. "Kiss 'em. They wanna feel good too, sweetheart."

You place more soft kisses across the delicate skin of his balls, pushing down the temptation to taste him. Your eyes never leave his face, and his never leave yours. He looks so horny he could smash you through a fucking wall, and you don't think you'd mind if he did.

You keep kissing until he pulls your head back. He's started gently stroking himself again, getting himself off as he watched you worship his balls.

"You wanna taste?"

"I wanna taste," you swallow, sinking down as you spread your knees wide to stop the temptation of rubbing your thighs together, desperate for relief he hasn't said you can have.

"Show me how much you want it."

You snap your jaw open for him, eager to taste more than the swipe of cum he'd spread over your lips weeks ago, as he fists his cock gently over your face. He's teasing you with it still when a whine catches in your throat.

Another tug to your hair tilts your head back, but your eyes strain down to look at the bead of cum that's about to drip from the tip of him. He leans over you, cock in hand and your head held in the other. You watch as he spits down into your mouth, saliva cooling as it falls from his mouth to yours, landing cold on your waiting tongue.

"Good girl. So desperate for it. Keep it open." He moves his dripping tip to your mouth before you can react, swiping it across your tongue, mixing his precum with your, and his, saliva.

You hear it before he does - the sound of a key jingling and a lock turning. It startles you, fright springing across your face as he frowns down at you. You keep your mouth open as the door swings open behind you, exposing your naked body to the hallway and whoever has just entered.

"You home, old man?" a familiar voice you can't place calls out, before the very same voice lets out a low whistle when it catches sight of you.

The door is kicked shut, and there's a thud on the table. Joel is still brandishing his cock as he stares daggers over your head at the intruder. Your fucking mouth is open.

"You mind? I'm busy," he says, wiping the tip of his cock over your tongue again. You salivate at the salty taste of him and try to swallow.

Light footsteps head toward where you kneel on the floor before Joel, knees spread, head up, eyes darting between his face and his grip on his cock.

"Well then, hello there pretty girl." You remember that voice.

Finally letting your eyes flick to the side, you see her. Tess. She seems to recognize you at the same time as you do, a smile pulling across her face as your mouth falls slack in shock.

She'd been your fathers dealer before you were handed off one day to a new one. Your dad hadn't given details on why, but you had a feeling you knew. She'd helped you once too, when a few too many sick days had meant too few cards to get by. That had been your first time on your knees for someone at the promise of pills, and at the time you thought it would be your last.

Joel watches as she approaches and looks down at you on your knees. His hand hasn't left his cock, and he's tugging on himself as he watches, another bead of precum you desperately want to lick collecting at his head. He moves his hand from its place in your hair and starts stroking his heavy balls with it as he watches you.

"How's your daddy?" she pouts in mock empathy before addressing Joel, laughing.

"Gotta say, didn't expect this when I handed 'em off to you. Told you the daughter's mouth was good, didn't I?"

"I wouldn't know, I was only just about to find out," he grits out. His hands are still slowly working over himself as he talks to her. You watch as his eyes roam up and down her body, then flick to you down at his feet. Your body heats as you watch him ogle her - you think it may be jealousy until your own eyes trail the same path down her body before resting back on Joel. What difference is there between jealousy and desire, really.

"The first time you get to mess with one, and I get to witness it? Lucky me," she grins as she watches Joel thread a hand back through your hair, drawing your attention back to him completely.

"S'not the first time," he whispers as he pulls you forward, nodding at you to open your mouth once more.

"Then what the fuck have you been doing with her?"

Joel rolls his eyes at her, instead opting to feed the head of his cock into your mouth.

Your mouth engulfs his tip, warm and wet, he sucks in a breath closing his eyes, grip tightening in your hair. You let your tongue swirl around him, feeling the ridge of his head and tasting the bitter sweet salt of his cum on his skin. Your fingers curl into the rough fabric of his pants, anchoring you to him as you bob your head over his tip, circling your tongue over every inch of it.

"Oh fuck, that's right," he moans. "That taste good?"

He looks down as you nod, your moan of confirmation around his cock pulling another groan from his chest as his eyes fall closed again.

"Fuck yeah, it does."

Tess had all but gone from your mind until you hear the tap of shoes on the floor, and feel as she crouches beside you. A soft hand comes to your face, stroking the hollow of your cheek as you suck more of Joel's cock into your mouth.

You feel soft lips press a kiss to that very same hollow, the feeling of being kissed making you sigh. His eyes snap open, he'd been so lost in the feeling of your mouth on him that he hadn't noticed Tess's approach either. Now he was looking down at two women at his feet, eyes burning holes into yours where they fluttered in your head.

She begins nuzzling your hair, your neck, placing soft kisses across your bare skin. You keep your focus on Joel, staring at him with the same intensity he stares at you. Soft hands start to roam up and down your body, squeezing your chest, pinching your nipples, dragging short nails across your stomach, her every move making you shudder.

"Can't say I ever imagined a sweet little thing like you doing this," she whispers into your ear. You can hear the sickly sweet smile in her voice.

You moan into Joel's cock as she touches you, taking yet more of him into your mouth. You want to touch it, hold the heft of it in your hand, but you never have before. You don't know if you're allowed. You inch your hand up his pants to his crotch, stroking the exposed skin at the base of him with your fingertips. The hand in your hair twitches, and you hear a strangled moan from above you.

"Fuuck."

Another shift of your hand and your hand wraps around his thick base, fingertips unable to meet even if you squeezed. Holding him steady, you can finally angle him down so you can draw more of his cock into your mouth. You flick your tongue along his tip again as you swallow around him with a moan.

"That's it. Show me how much you can take."

At the instruction, Tess knocks his hand away from your hair, bringing both of her own to hold either side of your head. She fucks your mouth up and down his length, Joel moaning deep as his hand finds yours on his pants and grips your fingers tightly.

You'd been longing to feel his lips on yours so much that you'd never considered what his hand might feel like on yours. It's the opposite of electric - the heavy heat of his rough hand grounding you, finally, as you take him in in full clarity.

"Shit that's good," he sighs as you're dragged along him by Tess's hands.

"You hear that? He thinks you're doing a good job," Tess says from beside you, pushing your head down to take more of him with a kiss to your cheek.

You start to gag as she pushes you down - it had been so long since you'd done this, and Joel's size wasn't exactly forgiving to the less experienced - but you carry on, moaning again when the welcome distraction of Tess's body pushes against yours.

"Nothin' but a cocksucking slut, huh?" Joel murmurs down to you almost affectionately, moving a stray hair from across your face. Yes you want to say, but it comes out a garbled mess as Tess laughs at you once again.

With another firm push of your head, your mouth slips down and takes Joel even further to the back of your throat. You cough and splutter, trying to push yourself back using your hand against Joel's thick thighs, but Tess holds you down with his cock buried in your throat. Joel's hand grips yours tighter still.

"Don't," he snarls. "If I wanted her chokin' on it I'd fuck her face."

"Maybe I want her to choke on it," Tess counters from beside you with another laugh, but she relents anyway.

You pull back with a gasp and take a gulp of air before kissing the tip of his cock. You don't want to let go of it for a minute. You lick long stripes up his length, collecting the strings of saliva you'd left behind, before encasing him in your mouth once more. If you were anywhere else you'd maybe feel shame at your need for him, and your need to please him, but the heat of their eyes burning into you does nothing but light a fire between your legs.

Tess sees it, moving a hand down from bobbing your head on Joel's cock, down your bare torso and cupping your clothed pussy. Her slender fingers feel so much more delicate compared to Joel's thick calloused ones as they rub over you, your moans muffled by the fullness of the cock in your mouth.

"She's so wet, Joel," you hear her say through Joel's groan and the blood rushing in your ears.

Your hips start to rock into Tess's hand of their own accord, aching to find more friction and finally get some relief. She yanks your panties to the side, using one of her fingers to trace the seam of you before gently tickling your clit. If she could only feel how damp you were before, she could definitely feel the drip of slick from your cunt now.

Slender fingers plunge into you, fucking your desperate hole with force as you work your mouth over Joel's cock. You're left empty for half a second before her fingers are back in you, more this time, stretching you further so suddenly that your legs widen to accommodate the pull of fingers inside you.

"All four fingers, good girl," Tess coos.

"Four?" grunts Joel. Tess nods, laughing, and Joel throws his head back with a groan.

"I bet we could fit a whole hand up here," she says with another kiss to your cheek.

You were naive before to think she wouldn't, couldn't, hurt you the way you thought Joel could. You were wrong, you realized now, as her fingers plunged into you, stretching wide, words taunting in your ear as she forced your head back and forth over Joel's cock.

Her fingers leave your cunt entirely, leaving you empty and gaping. She pulls you off of Joel, replacing his cock in your mouth with her glistening fingers. You clean your own slick from them, moaning at the tang of your own pussy mixing with the flavor of Joel still on your tongue. His eyes never leave you and his hand never gives up its grip on yours.

"You like the taste of pussy, don't you?" Tess whispers in your ear, pushing you back onto Joel.

"Mhm."

"I think we can do something about that," she murmurs. "Can't we Joel." You both look up at him from your knees. He growls, nodding stiffly.

You're being hauled to your feet and pushed to the couch before you know what's going on. The blood rushes to your head and the room spins when you're pushed roughly over the arm, watching as Tess unbuttons her pants and pulls them down her legs.

She lounges back on the other arm of the sofa, spreading her legs and beckoning you to come between them. You ignore the ache in your knees from the hard wood of the floorboards as you crawl over, settling between her soft thighs and looking up at her with parted mouth. You would do anything right now, desperate for any relief from anyone.

Joel has followed behind, watching your ass sway as you crawled to her. Your panties are still skewed to the side, and you know he's looking at the mess of arousal between your legs. Tess may have been the one with her fingers buried in you, but you hope he knows he's just as responsible for your glistening cunt.

"C'mon," he growls, landing a swat to your ass. "Lemme see you eat that pussy."

You stare at Tess's bare cunt, feeling needy in ways you can't even explain, and move to lower your head, eager to taste her again.

She grabs you by the hair before your mouth can touch her.

"No teasing now. You remember what I told you?" You nod. You remembered every fucking part - exactly how she liked to come undone. Sometimes you imagined her doing the same to you.

She pulls your face down toward her cunt, and you stick out your tongue, hungry to taste her. You lick her gently at first, small licks across the swelling of her clit and her flushed lips. You lick further down, parting her folds to taste at her entrance - for all her laughing and teasing, her pussy was as much of a traitor as yours when exposed like this. She was dripping.

Joel's rough hands pull your ass toward him, dragging your panties down to your knees, hobbling you. The couch dips and creaks behind you as he brings a foot up to better line up with your hole. The wetness of his cock slides through your slick folds once, twice, then notches the tip at your entrance before he pushes in in one, sheathing himself completely in the heat of your body. You moan and gasp around Tess's clit, never stopping the movement of your tongue.

"Not sure she can handle it," she half chuckles, half moans.

"She can," grits out Joel. "S'taken worse." He slides out and punches all the way back in again, the feeling of his hips snapping against your ass so much less overwhelming when his cock was in your pussy and not your ass. You try desperately to keep up the movements of your mouth, wanting to feel Tess come undone at your hands, but blocking out Joel entirely is impossible with the distracting pound of his cock into you.

Tess grabs more of your hair, pulling it away from your neck and giving him a better view of you and her cunt.

"Fuck yeah, sweetheart," he groans now that he can see more clearly. "Lick that pussy."

"Been a while since you had multiple girls over, huh?" Tess taunts, throwing her head back before Joel can reply.

He nods, pulling your hips back into his as he thrusts forward. "Too fuckin' long." He groans again, meaty hands gripping your ass cheeks hard and pulling you apart at the seams as he pounds into you.

You slip a finger into her wet heat, curling it upwards as you feel inside of her. She's as slick as you, and you wonder if she's ever taken Joel as you have. The thought makes you moan again, just as Joel picks up the pace of his thrusts, slamming into you so hard your mouth jerks over Tess's cunt.

You try to steady yourself, fluttering your tongue flutters over Tess's clit, circling and suckling it into your mouth. You ignore the sensation building inside you as Joel's balls smack against your neglected clit each time he buries himself in you. It's too many feelings, too many sensations all at once.

Joel's hips stutter as he slams his cock into you, chasing his own release, already so close after you'd had him in your mouth for so long. Even closer from watching Tess tease you with her fingers buried in your needy cunt, watching your tongue lathe over hers.

You hear a strangled "Fuck" before he slams his hips forward again, slick cock slipping deep inside you as he floods your pussy with warm, wet cum. You moan into Tess's clit as you feel yourself heat from the inside out.

"Shit. Shit," he sighs from behind you. You want to turn to look at the fucked out look on his face. You nearly do.

"Don't stop, almost there," pants Tess, almost begging you with your face still buried in her wet heat, lapping at her clit with a finger curled inside her. "Pretty girl, almost there," she croons, stroking your hair and rocking into your face.

Gentle circles on her clit turn firmer, more rapid, and the hand in your hair grips you tighter as you pull her release from her. She grinds against your face, pussy throbbing as you lick her pulsing clit through her orgasm.

That same hand yanks you back a moment later, too sensitive to continue, before she relaxes back into the couch with a sigh.

"She's good, Joel," she breathes, a hand idly stroking your hair. You hear Joel grunt in agreement from behind you, his hands still holding onto your ass, and your cheeks heat with the praise.

He moves away, pulling his cock from where it had softened inside you, watching as a small trickle of cum escapes to drip down to your neglected clit.

"Looks like you earned your meds today," Tess laughs, patting your cheek, before standing to pull her pants back on without another word to you.

Still on your hands and knees on the couch, you watch her approach Joel, kissing him on the side of the mouth as he stares, breathing deeply, at your ass. His cum is still dribbling out of you. You flip to sit back on your ass, trying to stop its escape making too much of a mess on his furniture.

She whispers something into his ear, moves to the door, looks at you with a smirk one last time before opening it and leaving.

The door snaps shut, and she's gone.

As soon as the door closes he's on you again, pushing you back down into the couch with a growl. The air is knocked out of you as your back thuds down and he hoists your legs back, folding you in two.

Holding you down and open, the wetness of his mouth engulfs your pussy, slurping your clit into his mouth.

He's devouring you, eagerly eating all of his cum out your hole and cleaning you of his creamy spend.

You moan and twitch beneath him, having spent the last fuck knows how long with your mouth full but the desperate need in your pussy neglected. You'd hoped he could fuck an orgasm out of you, but as soon as the pressure of his cock in you had gotten good, the slap of his balls against your clit hard enough to send a thrill through you, he'd stuttered to a stop, leaving you with an aching pussy and nothing to show for it.

A strong arm pins you down, keeping your legs back, feet in the air. Two of his thick fingers thrust into you, before he pulls them out, licking them clean, then he plunges three straight back in, stretching you more than Tess's four ever had and making you whine, high pitched and needy, for more.

You're so close, so near to falling over the edge, but his desperate licks are too desperate, not focussed enough on your oversensitive pussy, too frantic. You feel like you've been edged for hours, but your clit has barely been touched until now. It's been left starving, aching for attention.

"Joel!" you ground out desperately, looking between your thrown back legs where he feasts on you. His eyes catch you, catch the desperation, the need, and he slows down, honing in on your clit, lapping in steady circles, fingers pumping deeply.

Your toes curl, tears come to your eyes and your bottom lip quivers. You nod at him. He's found it. Exactly what you need, the exact spot. He's relentless now, his tongue moving over, and over, and over as his eyes lock with yours.

"Ohhhnnnnng."

"That's it," you feel him mumble into your clit. "Good girl."

And you're cascading over the edge, into a pit of white heat, different but similar to the one in his eyes when you first saw him today. You shudder and jerk, his tongue flicking over your sensitive bud drawing wave after wave out of you as your pussy spasms around his fingers, gripping them tight and tethering you down as you writhe.

You twitch with oversensitivity and Joel finally stops, tongue leaving your clit, lips pressing firmly to your mound instead as he breathes you in. Your body heaves and you sink further into the couch, stomach muscles finally letting you unfurl from where you'd chased your orgasm so desperately.

"Fuck," he groans so close you can feel his lips move on your skin. All you can do is nod weakly in response. "You okay?" You nod again, not trusting your voice and still not entirely sure you're conscious.

His thick fingers pull from you, leaving you empty, and his hands gently guide your legs down to rest on the couch. Blood is still pounding through your ears, but you hear and feel it... the air that Joel's fingers had pumped into you chooses that moment to escape in one humiliating gust.

Your face drops with embarrassment, and you hear Joel laugh from between your legs.

"Sign of a job done good," he laughs, kissing down onto your pussy, tongue gently swiping along your sensitive clit again. You try to wiggle away, letting out another rumble, fucking fuck, and immediately still as Joel laughs more.

"You done?" he says into your cunt, spreading you slightly to look at your spent hole then to you. "I think she's good." He kisses your clit once more and sits back, stretching his back out on the sofa with his arms behind his head.

You both sit there in silence, recovering your breath and coming back down to earth. Your knees knock together as your legs relax. You close your eyes, breathing deeply, and let the chill of the room cool your sweaty body and the heat of embarrassment from your cheeks.

Much sooner than you'd like, you feel Joel start to move.

"I ain't mad at you, y'know," he says softly as he tucks his cock back into his pants. "Was never mad at you. Just mad."

You knew that already, but hearing him say it still made you feel better. It made you feel like you'd done the right thing, that you hadn't pulled him into something he didn't want. You were justified, you were right. He wanted, needed, to use you as much as you needed to be used.

"You should get goin'," he moves to stand as he speaks, walking away from the couch and from you.

"But -"

He shuts you up with a single look. You sit up wordlessly, casting your eyes down. He was right - what exactly would you even be staying for, really, other than because some part of you wanted to.

You dress in silence, panties still around your knees pulled up, clothes thrown on haphazardly, pills stuffed into an empty pocket. Joel doesn't watch this time, instead he rifles through the box left by Tess. You never see into it, but you watch his profile shift and change as he reacts to what she left for him.

You move closer to the table, making way to leave his apartment without another word, when he's closing the box and speaking.

"I've had a vasectomy," he says pointing to your now covered crotch. "So, y'know... should be fine."

"Oh." You hadn't even thought about it. You didn't even care. "You... you could've done that in my mouth too. I wouldn't have minded."

"Your mouth was occupied," he smirks with a shrug. "Besides, if I wanted to, I would've."

He gestures for you to leave, so you do, Joel following you to the door as you go. You open it yourself, just as Tess had, and walk out. You don't have time to finish saying thank you before the door is shut behind you, leaving you alone in the corridor yet again. You make your way home in silence.

You dream that night of soft lips on your cheek, softer hands roaming your body. The softness morphs and distorts, growing larger and more ragged. Rough hands drag along you, and the scruff of a beard scratches your face as a kiss too delicate to be real comes impossibly close to your mouth.

You wake in a sweat, heat pulsing through your veins and your cunt throbbing between your legs.

You'd come in your sleep to nothing but desperate thoughts of a kiss you'd never had.

next part

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#joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #pedro pascal characters #joel miller/reader #joel miller x you #tess servopoulos #joel miller x reader x tess servopoulos #fic: SWAT #coveted fics

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redrose10 · 1 year ago

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Chapter 4

Here it is! I was nervous to put this out here so I hope it lives up. Yoongi realizes some things in this one but it might be a little too late. Chapter 5 should be out within a few days!

Yoongi X Female Reader. CEO/Arranged Marriage AU

Summary: You were selected to marry the wayward CEO/Billionaire/Heir, Min Yoongi. You went into it with an open mind and heart determined to try and make it work. Yoongi on the other hand had no intention of ever letting you in let alone allowing himself to fall in love with you. Slowly you start to associate the smell of cinnamon and vanilla with the feelings of hurt and sorrow.

Word Count: 3,404

Warnings: (May get updated as chapters progress): Arranged marriage, cheating/infidelity, hints of smut (Probably won’t get very explicit but we’ll see how it goes), Sexual Assault, Brief mentions of death, Reader grew up an orphan, General Angst, Swearing

Waking up with a long stretch you were more than surprised to wake up in your hotel bed. The last thing you remembered was falling asleep on the beach but you have no memory at all of walking back to the room. You figured that hotel security probably found you and thought you were just a drunk so they brought you back to the room after finding your room key on you.

Looking over to the empty space next to you memories from the night before came flooding back to you. The delicious dinner you had and the joyous company of the waiter Hoseok. The sight of Yoongi and the brunette that was all over him. How he lied and called you his sister instead of his wife. How you felt lonely and betrayed and you just wanted to wish everything of the past couple months away.

Suddenly as if your brain finally caught up you realized you were sleeping in the same bed that Yoongi and that woman most likely hooked up in and that caused your skin to crawl. You jumped out of bed like something bit you tripping over your suitcase in the process and landing on the ground with a loud thud. You’d never been so happy for a vacation to end before. Getting in the shower you scrubbed your skin so hard you’re pretty sure you did damage but you wanted to scrub until you no longer felt dirty. After packing up your few belongings you walked out to the living room of your suite. Yoongi was already sitting at the dining table. You scanned his body for any new marks but nothing was visible even with the v neck tshirt he was wearing that caused you to internally scold yourself for staring at him a little too long. When he finally noticed you standing there he pointed to the seat across from him,

“It’s a chai tea. Jimin said you don’t really like coffee so I didn’t know what else to get.“

Sitting down at the table you noticed that the selection of food was all of your favorites. Chocolate chip muffins, a bacon croissant sandwich, crispy potato hash, strawberries, pineapple, a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice. Yoongi cleared his throat, “Jimin also told me some of your favorite foods so I had them bring what they could.” Unable to hide the shy smile nodded before taking a bite.

“Umm do you know when or how I got back to the room last night? I don’t remember walking back so I wanted to go thank whomever brought me here?”, you awkwardly chuckled trying to break the silence but also piece together last night. He took another sip of his coffee, “Yeah actually I carried you back to the room and put you in the bed.” His statement caused you to choke on the strawberry you had just popped in your mouth, “I’m sorry you did what?”

He repeated, “I saw you laying on the beach so I went down and brought you back and put you in the bed.” You looked at him with wide eyes, words escaping you. You ate another strawberry trying to stuff your mouth before saying something you’d regret.

“Why is your skin so red? It looks like you washed yourself with sandpaper?”, he asked looking you over.

“Oh when I woke up in the bed I felt kind of gross, you know since you hooked up with some woman in there, and I’m sure the sheets weren’t changed afterwards. Guess I got a little carried away.”

Yoongi nodded before taking another sip of coffee, “I didn’t hook up with her.”

You laughed, “Come on Yoongi. I saw the two of you. If you didn’t hook up then what did you do with her in here? I know you guys didn’t play a game unless it included clothes coming off.”

“I told her to leave.”

“What?”

“I told her to leave.”

“I know I heard you the first time but why?”

He returned back to his bagel without a word and you rolled your eyes, “Okay fine. Don’t tell me. I don’t really care at this point anyways.”

Yoongi let out a long deep sigh, “After a while I realized that you didn’t come in the room with us. I didn’t know where you’d be able to go at that time of the night and I didn’t think it was a good idea for you to be wandering around by yourself so I told the woman that we should continue somewhere else and that I’d book us another room so you could come back to the room. So when I went to grab my wallet on the table next to the balcony I saw you laying out on the beach. It looked like you were sleeping and I didn’t want you to stay out there like that because it was late and it’s dangerous and you might get eaten by a crab or something so I told her that we were done and that she needed to leave. I walked down to the beach to bring you back. I was gonna wake you up but you looked really comfy so I just carried you here and put you in the bed and went to sleep myself.”

You were dumbfounded at his story. Your face was full of disbelief. Taking a bite of your muffin you nodded, “Oh well uh thank you for bringing me back.”

He nodded.

“Also if there was a crab out there big enough to eat me I think we’d have some major problems.”

He rolled his eyes before he walked off to the bathroom trying to hide the blush creeping down his neck. You continued to eat but confusion plagued your mind. You just can’t figure him out. One minute he’s hooking up with some random woman on your honeymoon and the next he’s going out of his way for you and trying to be kind, almost seeming kind of protective. You really weren’t sure what to make of him but you wished he would just make up his mind because you’re starting to get whiplash from the back and forth.

The flight back home was uneventful. The two of you sat in comfortable silence other than the occasional statement. Yoongi sipped on a whiskey and you even decided to get wild and sip on some champagne.

The car pulled up to an extravagant looking building confusing you as to where you were and then it hit you. You had to move into Yoongi’s place and of course he lived in the most luxurious building in the whole country. You thought spending a week in the same hotel room was awkward so you had no clue how living together was going to go but part of you hoped that maybe the two of you can finally work on some things in your relationship.

Once in Yoongi’s penthouse he gave you a very brief tour. The home was incredible. Jimins apartment was nice but didn’t compare to the penthouse. Floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the city. All the furniture appears to be high end and high quality. You’re pretty sure your entire apartment back home could’ve fit in the kitchen alone.

Thankfully Jimin was able help you coordinate with the movers to have your stuff shipped over. You didn’t have to bring much since Yoongi already had a fully furnished home. You just brought some clothes and a few sentimental items.

“My office is the third door on the right. If I work from home I’ll be in there but please keep interruptions to a minimum and only if necessary. My bedroom is the second door on the left. Don’t go in there. Your room is right here.”, he said opening the door. You were thoroughly confused. “Wait we have separate bedrooms?” Yoongi sighed irritation evident again, “I have the space so I figured why should we have to share a room. This way we can stay out of each others way.”

When you saw his eyebrow move up you knew what he meant by that. You sat on the edge of the bed staring down at the floor. Sure it was a nice room and bigger than any room you’d ever had before with it even having a private bathroom. But that didn’t stop the loneliness and hurt that you felt. You were more like a roommate or even worse, a nuisance that that he just wanted to shove away so he didn’t have to look at you.

That thought made you chuckle though, “Good thing you don’t have any staircases in this place or I’d be stuck sleeping under there I guess.”

Yoongi looked at you with eyebrows furrowed.

“What you’ve never seen Harry Potter before?”

“Do I seem like the kind of guy that watches Harry Potter?”

“I guess not but you sure have a lot in common with a certain he who shall not be named.”

“What are talking about?”

“Nothing never mind.”

Yoongi noticed your change in demeanor. Stuffing this hands into his pockets he spoke, “You’re welcome to paint or decorate the room however you want.” You met him with continued silence. He continued, “I have to go into the office to catch up on things. I ordered some groceries to be delivered later. Jimin told me about you liking to have a mug of warm milk before bed and I was out so that’ll be here later along with some other things for you.” You nodded in acknowledgment whispering a thank you before he turned and shut the door behind him.

Due to your small amount of belongings you were unpacked in no time. Luckily you just put your last piece of clothing away when the doorbell rang signaling the grocery order arrived. Taking the bags from the delivery driver and thanking him profusely you set to work putting everything away while also familiarizing yourself with the kitchen. As you pulled out the groceries you chuckled a little more each time. There was the milk just like Yoongi had promised. There was also a large package of chocolate chip muffins, multiple containers of strawberries, your favorite ramen, some cookies, a box of popcorn, and cookie dough ice cream. All of your favorites. You made a mental note to thank Jimin and maybe also send a thank you to Yoongi depending on how he was acting later.

Over the next few weeks things between Yoongi and yourself didn’t improve much. The two of you barely spoke other than the occasional question or statement and that was if you even saw each other at all. You spent most of your time in your bedroom while he claimed to be at the office or other work functions. The one time you did venture out and sat in the living room your movie was interrupted when Yoongi came strolling in with a woman in each arm heading towards his bedroom after giving you a quick nod like you were just one of his friends who he was trying to brag to about his “score”. Suddenly not feeling so well you turned off the tv and got in bed. It didn’t take long to hear moans and a headboard banging against the wall from down the hallway so you grabbed your headphones hoping to block out the sound and fall asleep as quickly as you could.

The next morning Yoongi and his new friends were long gone by the time you got up. You set out on checking off some things on your to do list that you created. One thing you wanted to work on was learning Korean. You knew a few phrases thanks to Jimin but now that you were living in Korea you thought it would be a good idea to get to know the language in a proficient way so you started calling around to different companies trying to find someone to give you lessons.

That’s how a few weeks later you were sitting at your kitchen table with the teacher the company you chose had sent you. Kim Namjoon was a handsome man no doubt about it. He was tall with broad shoulders. The cutest dimples you’d ever seen. His glasses framed his face perfectly and they looked great with his caramel colored hair. His cologne the complete opposite of Yoongi’s cinnamon and vanilla scent. Namjoon smelled light and citrusy. It was clean and refreshing and somehow managed to take the stress away from you. The way he spoke was so elegant. It was nice being able to have a full conversation with someone. You loved Jimin but you guys mostly just goofed off and went on rants to each other and trying to have a conversation with Yoongi was like pulling teeth. You hadn’t realized just how lonely you were before Namjoon came into your life. This was only your fifth session and you found yourself really excited that you were getting to spend some time with him again.

“I don’t know Y/N. How will baking cookies help you learn a language?”, he sighed trying mask his playfulness. You giggled, “Well I could learn all the names for the ingredients and I can try to give YOU the instructions in Korean while you make the cookies.” He sat there and pondered before you continued, “Come on Joonie. Back home I’m famous for my double chocolate chip cookies and I know you can’t say no to chocolate.” Finally he ran a hand through his hair, “Alright but you have to tell me each step in Korean.” Excitedly you jumped up running around to collect the ingredients.

Watching Namjoon try to make cookies was one of the funniest things you’ve ever witnessed. He told you he had no business being in the kitchen but you didn’t think it was this bad. He was currently trying to mix in the flour to the chocolate batter and you couldn’t stop laughing as you watched half the flour fall onto the counter which covered him in a puff of white smoke.

“Here Namjoon let me help you.”, you said placing your hand on his much larger one so you could guide his movements to slowly mix in the flour. You looked up to see him smiling down at you dimples on full display. His lips looked soft and warm. The thought of kissing him definitely crossed your mind. Yoongi hadn’t kissed you since your wedding day and the most physical he’s got with you was carrying you to the room from the beach and to be honest you wouldn’t let him touch you anyways without seeing some test results first to make sure he didn’t pick up anything along the way. The ring on your finger caught your eye before you could act on your thoughts. Yoongi may be an insufferable adulterer but that didn’t mean you had to be one too. Two wrongs don’t make a right in your book but damn if Namjoon wasn’t making you think about doing all the wrongs regardless of the rights.

You were so focused on trying to explain to Namjoon how to add the chocolate chips in Korean that neither of you noticed Yoongi walk in. He watched you gently grasp Namjoon’s hand while smiling up at him. You looked so cute in your daisy printed apron. Namjoon said something that made you burst into a fit of laughter. Yoongi felt a pain in his chest. He had never heard you laugh like that before. You looked so happy with Namjoon. He knew that was all his fault so he didn’t understand where this jealous feeling was coming from and why his brain and heart were betraying him.

He watched you reach up to wipe away some of the chocolate that had gotten onto Namjoon’s cheek. The two of you definitely sharing a moment and Yoongi felt his heart rate increase. He quickly pushed that feeling aside as he had no right. He had slept with multiple women since you got married and he was the one that told you that you were welcome to see other people so if you took Namjoon to your bedroom right now he had nothing to say.

He thought back to that night he carried you back from the beach. You looked so adorable with your lips slightly parted, your skin a beautiful hue of pink thanks to the sun, the way you wrapped your arms around his neck nuzzling your face into his shoulder. At that moment on the beach he realized how harsh he had been and that you didn’t deserve any of it. It’s not your fault that at 19 years old another woman ripped his heart out and stomped on it and then lit it on fire and he decided he’d never allow himself to go through that ever again instead choosing to be the breaker of hearts. The night after he carried you to the hotel while laying in the bed next to you he made a decision that he’d change if not for him then at least for you. Obviously, he failed once he returned to Seoul and he was introduced to the two female interns that he brought back home while you sat innocently watching a movie waiting for him. He knew he was a coward. He was too scared of getting his heart broken again that he decided to continuously break yours and now it looks like you found someone to help mend it and who was he to take that away from you. Deciding he saw enough he rushed off to his bedroom before you could find him standing there.

Once the cookies were baked and cooled you packaged most of them up before handing the box to Namjoon.

“Here take these. There’s no way I’m going to eat them all.”

He smiled but shook his head, “What about Yoongi? I’m sure he’d love to have some of these. I don’t want to take them all.”

You chuckled, “Yoongi never eats anything I cook. He’s probably worried I’ll try and poison him or something so I could get out of this marriage.”

Namjoon laughed at your joke and then confirmed again he was okay to take all the cookies before thanking you and heading out the door. You did a quick clean up of the kitchen before heating up a mug of warm milk and grabbing the two cookies you had saved and headed off to your room for the evening after shutting off the light.

Later that night you woke up hearing a loud bang come from the kitchen. It sounded just like a cabinet closing so you assumed it was Yoongi making himself something to eat. Not being concerned you turned over and went right back to sleep.

Yoongi however, had checked every cabinet and drawer looking for the cookies you made. He always snuck little tastes of your food in the middle of the night when you weren’t there even though you always offered him food each time. Part of him being too stubborn and not wanting to give you the satisfaction of eating the food you cooked and another part of him just felt like he didn’t deserve your food and was too embarrassed to eat it in front of you. He had heard all about your famous cookies from Jimin and he was really looking forward to trying one when he saw you and Namjoon baking them. Giving up he turned to shut off the light and that’s when a little baggy on the counter caught his eye. Inside a perfect looking double chocolate chip cookie with a stick note attached to the bag saying ‘Yoongi’. He took one bite and was in heaven. He thought back to you and Namjoon looking so happy together. Like a real couple. How you smiled and gently touched him. How Namjoon made you laugh. Yoongi finished off the cookie but he was no longer enthralled by the chocolate goodness. Suddenly the cookie tasted like a mix of heaven with a pinch of jealousy and a dash of regret.

#bts #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #yoongi angst #min yoongi #bts fanfic #yoongi fic #bts yoongi #yoongi x y/n #yoongi #arranged marriage au #ceo au #yoongi au #cinnamon&vanilla #namjoon #bts fic #bts x reader

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magical-reid · 1 month ago

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magical-reid's Masterlist

Last Updated: 1/05/25

Total Works: 49

Who I write for: Spencer Reid, Bucky Barnes, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Sebastian Sallow, Lip Gallagher, Stiles Stilinski, Steve Harrington, and Eddie Munson.

*Request a Prompt*

Spencer Reid

The Rings We Keep / Part 2 / Part 3

Summary: An FBI agent unexpectedly marries Spencer Reid in a Las Vegas hospital to fulfill his mother's wishes, leading to a complicated relationship built on convenience. As they work together on a dangerous murder case, their bond deepens, and Spencer's quiet heroism reveals that their accidental marriage might hold the potential for real love.

Caught in the Spotlight

Summary: After being reassigned to assist the BAU, you go undercover as a bartender at a bar where a killer has been targeting women, hoping to lure him out. When the unsub attacks, Spencer and Morgan rescue you, and later, at a celebratory bar, you perform for Spencer, teasing him with a flirtatious whisper that leaves him flustered.

*A Thanksgiving to Remember*

Summary: At Thanksgiving, you enlisted Spencer to help you with your family's endless questions about your love life by pretending to be your boyfriend, and he agreed without hesitation. As the day unfolded, Spencer effortlessly charmed your family, and by the end of the evening, you realized your feelings for him had shifted into something deeper, realizing you were falling in love with him for real.

*A Little Something Extra*

Summary: Spencer Reid surprised you with a thoughtful breakfast, remembering your habit of skipping meals and offering a quiet gesture of care that spoke volumes. As you shared a brief moment of connection over coffee and bagels, his sincerity and attention to detail reminded you of how deeply he understood and cared for you, even in the smallest ways.

Red Lipstick

Summary: At a charity gala in D.C., you stepped out of your comfort zone, wearing bold red lipstick for the first time, only to catch the unexpected attention of Spencer, whose admiration for the change in your appearance hinted at something deeper. As the night progressed, Spencer's fascination with you grew, revealing a new dynamic between you both, marked by a quiet, unspoken connection that neither of you could fully articulate.

The Quiet One

Summary: Spencer Reid becomes increasingly intrigued by Y/N, a reserved but brilliant new member of the BAU, who remains distant from the team despite her exceptional skills. As they spend more time together, Spencer finds himself drawn to her quiet strength and vulnerability, leading to a growing connection between them.

*Written in the Margins*

Summary: Spencer Reid teams up with you, a sharp and insightful local researcher, to help the BAU solve a series of murders staged like literary tragedies in Glenhaven, New York. As the investigation progresses, an undeniable connection forms between you two, leading to a blossoming relationship that continues even after the case is closed.

*Christmas Promises*

Summary: On Christmas Eve at the BAU, Spencer Reid nervously confesses his feelings for you, finally cashing in on a promise for a kiss that he had made long ago. Amid the holiday magic, a shy and heartfelt kiss leads to a deeper connection, as you both share a dance under the soft glow of Christmas lights, realizing you're no longer just friends but something more.

Bucky Barnes

Remembering James

Summary: Dr. Barnes, a super soldier with no memory of her past, is called to assist the Avengers, where she encounters Bucky Barnes, a man she feels inexplicably drawn to but doesn't remember. As she begins to reconnect with her past, she discovers a deep bond with Bucky that was lost to time and memory.

Unknown Past / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 + epilogue

This is a full story based on "Remembering James"

*Forever and Always*

Summary: After years apart, the reader returns to Brooklyn and finds Bucky, now weighed down by guilt and regret, still haunted by his past as the Winter Soldier. Despite his internal struggles, their deep connection reignites, and the reader reaffirms their eternal promise to love him, helping him find healing and hope for a future together.

Ricochet / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

Summary: Bucky and the reader's relationship starts off rocky, marked by tension, mistrust, and bickering, especially due to their shared past with Hydra. However, over time, their interactions soften as they begin to understand each other better, with moments of respect, mutual concern, and subtle attraction emerging amid their fiery exchanges.

*Home*

Summary: After a tough mission, the weight of guilt and personal struggles pushes you into isolation, until Bucky notices your pain and refuses to let you carry it alone. Through quiet support and unwavering presence, Bucky helps you confront your vulnerability, offering you a chance to heal and reminding you that you're worthy of love and peace.

*Unspoken Truths*

Summary: In the quiet early hours at Avengers Tower, you’re caught off guard when Bucky Barnes, unexpectedly complimenting your natural beauty, makes you question your insecurities. His sincere words begin to dissolve your self-doubt, leaving you feeling seen and appreciated, just as you are.

Mornings Are the Hardest

Summary: Bucky Barnes has pushed away the person he cares about most, afraid of being vulnerable, of letting someone into the broken parts of himself. After an emotional breakdown, he finally admits that he wants more—more than the fleeting moments and the painful goodbyes—and when he opens up, he finds that the person he loves feels the same. With that realization, both Bucky and the reader can begin to heal, together.

Fred Weasley

The Joke's on Us

Summary: Fred Weasley agrees to pretend to be Y/N's boyfriend to help her fend off the advances of an unwanted suitor, Adrian Pucey, only to find his own feelings for her growing stronger with each passing day. As their fake relationship deepens, Fred finally admits his love for Y/N, and to his delight, she feels the same, leading to a genuine romance that leaves Pucey behind.

Dancing on the Edge

Summary: Y/N, a Slytherin with a unique blend of independence and friendships across house lines, finds herself unexpectedly catching Fred Weasley’s attention during a celebratory Gryffindor party. After an eventful and embarrassing night involving too much Butterbeer and Firewhiskey, Fred comforts her while navigating her drunken confusion, ultimately revealing his genuine feelings for her.

Who's Your Friend?

Summary: When Y/N encounters a Ravenclaw boy named Luke, who informs her about their Muggle Studies project partnership, Fred becomes noticeably protective and jealous. Despite Fred’s dismissive attitude, his actions reveal his underlying feelings, while Y/N teases him about his jealousy as they walk back to their friends.

*A Twist of Fate*

Summary: Fred Weasley interrupts your evening by claiming you're dating, revealing his jealousy and affection for you in a moment of unexpected vulnerability. Despite his misguided approach, you admit you care for him too, and the two of you begin to navigate the complexities of your feelings, with Fred's genuine love making the world feel warmer.

*Wages and Wishes*

Summary: In the Gryffindor common room, Fred teases you into fulfilling a bet by demanding a kiss after you miss a shot in Wizard's Chess. Despite your initial disdain, the kiss is unexpectedly enjoyable, leaving both of you caught in a moment where you make a genuine connection.

George Weasley

*Fighting For You*

Summary: Y/N has been secretly in love with George Weasley, but George continues to dismiss their closeness as nothing more than friendship, leaving her uncertain about his feelings. After a tense moment involving a date with Cormac McLaggen, George finally admits his love for her, and they share a kiss, leading to an extravagant public confession where he asks her to be his girlfriend.

In the Silence of the Night

Summary: In the dead of night, feeling overwhelmed by loneliness and pain, Y/N reaches out to George Weasley, who has always quietly supported her. Without hesitation, George arrives to offer comfort and protection, assuring her that she doesn't have to face her struggles alone, even as unspoken emotions simmer between them.

The Yule Ball and the Sunflower

Summary: As Christmas approaches at Hogwarts, a student who had no interest in attending the Yule Ball finds herself captivated by mysterious, thoughtful love notes from an anonymous admirer. When the notes lead her to George Weasley, she discovers that the magic of the night—and the unexpected romance—was more real than she ever imagined.

Draco Malfoy

The Spell Gone Awry

Summary: Draco Malfoy is unexpectedly vulnerable after a duel accident leaves you injured, leading to an unexpected bond between you two. As rumors swirl around your growing closeness, Draco reveals his feelings for you, culminating in a heartfelt confession at the Yule Ball.

A Winter's Charm

Summary: In a winter wonderland at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy and the reader share a quiet, introspective moment by the lake, where Draco opens up about the pressures of his family and the challenge of being himself. As the snow falls around them, their connection deepens, and they begin to see each other in a new, more vulnerable light.

*Against All Odds*

Summary: Draco confesses his growing feelings for you in the cold dungeons of Hogwarts, revealing vulnerability and a longing for something more than the walls he's built around himself. Despite the challenges ahead, you find yourself drawn to him, willing to take a chance on something real, even if it won't be easy.

Sebastian Sallow

The Party / Part 2

Summary: At a loud, uncomfortable party, you find solace when Sebastian Sallow rescues you from the chaos, leading you to a quiet, intimate moment in the Astronomy Tower where a kiss sparks a deeper connection between you two. Despite lingering ties to your boyfriend Garreth, the growing bond with Sebastian brings clarity, as you begin to realize where your heart truly belongs.

*Always on my Mind*

Summary: Sebastian and Y/N risk a late-night trip to the Restricted Section to find a book that could help cure Sebastian’s sister, Anne, deepening their bond amidst the tension of their secretive adventure. Their connection grows stronger over time, from comforting moments during Anne’s illness to a charged encounter where Sebastian confesses his feelings, revealing a shared desire to protect each other.

*Through the Frost*

Summary: In the biting cold of the Scottish Highlands, you and Sebastian venture into the Forbidden Forest to collect Fanged Geraniums for a Herbology project, braving both the elements and an Acromantula encounter. Amid the adventure, Sebastian’s protective gestures and the warmth of his jacket lead to a tender moment between the two of you, culminating in a soft, unexpected kiss that changes everything.

*The Ravenclaw and the Shadowed Slytherin*

Summary: During a late-night patrol at Hogwarts, you unexpectedly cross paths with Sebastian Sallow, the notorious Slytherin troublemaker, who leads you to a hidden, magical room to escape the noise of the castle. As you share a quiet, vulnerable moment, you begin to see a different side of Sebastian, realizing there's more to him than his rebellious exterior, and the tension between you both deepens, hinting at something unspoken.

*Worth Waiting For*

Summary: As the golden sunset bathes Feldcroft, you stand with Sebastian Sallow, both weighed down by past pain and unresolved emotions. In a moment of vulnerability, Sebastian confesses his fear of losing you, and you assure him that, despite the struggles, you will stay by his side, ready to face whatever comes together.

Lip Gallagher

A World Apart

Summary: You're not a part of Lip's world, you just don't understand how things work around the South Side. Lip constantly shows up to rescue you and keep you safe.

Just One Kiss

Summary: Lip Gallagher finds you on his porch late at night, vulnerable and seeking reassurance, leading to an emotional conversation about your relationship with someone who isn't treating you well. After sharing a kiss, Lip realizes he wants more, but is determined to wait until you're ready to choose happiness over guilt and uncertainty.

*What You Really Want*

Summary: Lip Gallagher spends days nervously watching you from across the street, unsure how to make the first move, until his sister Fiona pushes him to stop daydreaming and actually talk to you. When he finally gathers the courage to approach, the conversation flows naturally, and Lip realizes he might just get the chance he’s been hoping for.

*Let Me Walk You Home*

Summary: Late at night in Chicago, feeling overwhelmed and alone, you slip away from your friends, only to be followed by Lip Gallagher, who insists on walking you home despite your resistance. His quiet concern and refusal to let you be alone bring a rare sense of relief, reminding you that even in your brokenness, you're not entirely alone.

Out of His League

Summary: Lip Gallagher has always been rough around the edges, a South Side kid who’s used to scraping by and making do. His girlfriend? A glittering, graceful figure skater who seems like she’s walked straight out of a fairy tale. Their relationship makes people talk, but Lip doesn’t care—at least, that’s what he tells himself. As he struggles to prove he’s good enough for her, she has other ideas: she doesn’t want perfection; she just wants him.

Unexpected Ties

Summary: After a drunken, impulsive wedding to Lip Gallagher, the reader wakes up to find themselves married to a man they barely know and quickly tries to forget the mistake. However, a year later, when their paths cross again at work, the tension between them begins to build, and they must confront their past, leading to an unexpected but growing connection as they navigate their accidental marriage and complicated feelings for each other.

Hidden in Plain Sight

Summary: Lip Gallagher secretly dates someone outside his chaotic world, but their hidden relationship grows harder to maintain as the tension between them builds. After a Gallagher party and a game of Seven Minutes in Heaven, they finally reveal their romance, leading to a mix of teasing and acceptance from the family.

Stiles Stilinksi

A Little Bit of Normal

Summary: In the midst of Beacon Hills' chaos, you find solace in Stiles Stilinski's playful distractions and heartfelt words, gradually realizing that your friendship is evolving into something deeper. As he confesses his feelings for you, you both share a tender moment that marks the beginning of something real and meaningful.

Steve Harrington

Coming soon...

Eddie Munson

The Unexpected Connection

Summary: When popular and girly Y/N offers to help Eddie Munson with chemistry, an unlikely connection forms between them as they bond over shared interests. The relationship deepens when Y/N surprises Eddie and his friends with homemade cookies during a D&D campaign, leaving everyone shocked by her unexpected presence in Eddie's world.

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downbadf0rficppl · 1 year ago

Text

i didn't mean to love you so much

Poe Dameron x F!Reader

Summary: You don't know what you have until it's gone. Or is it?

Word Count: 6.0K

Repost

It took 3 days to arrive on D'Qar.

The Naboo N-1 Starfighter that you stole from the junkyard on Bracca was one wrong move away from falling out of the sky. Even with your constant mid-flight repairs, only prayers to the Maker were keeping her together. The BB unit you found kept you posted with constant, and frankly worrying, updates on how the ship was holding. Let's just say the plane was soon to be out of use.

When you entered the atmosphere in D'Qar, the landing gear erupted into flames, eliciting a series of explicit beeps from the BB unit. If not for the life-or-death in front of you, you would have burst into a fit of giggles.

Instead, you just grit your teeth: "Happy beeps, bud."

You and the BB unit left the carnage that used to be a starfighter flaming in the trees, bickering the whole time, and heading towards the Resistance Base. Towards new beginnings. Towards freedom.

Bracca was a junkyard, where scavengers and smugglers looked for parts to sell to the highest bidder. It was dark and dangerous at the best of times, and work was never-ending. It wasn't the kind of place you would want to grow up, but it was better than Kessel. Anything was better than Kessel.

It took a week to get to the Rebel base. Your head throbbed painfully with each passing day, with hardly any food in your system and little water to quench your thirst, the journey to salvation seemed almost unattainable. You had thanked the Maker for rain when it first came, but after 4 days of non-stop rain, you had cursed the skies for it. It only seemed to fall harder.

By day 5, the BB unit was running out of power, its movements slower than before. It was far too heavy for you to carry and without it, you would never reach the Resistance base. There were no sarcastic quips or complaints for its master anymore. No, the two of you traveled in silence, aside from the odd groan from either one of you. Its tiredness mimicked your own. You could only pray that the base would come into view soon. You weren't sure how much longer you would last.

When the planes came into view, you almost cried with joy. With newfound energy, you and the BB unit near-ran the way to the tarmac runway that signaled life on this dratted planet.

And while the BB unit was welcomed with cheers and open arms, you weren't so lucky.

You were marched to the medical bay by two men almost twice your size, flanked on the left and the right so you couldn't run if you tried. Your heartbeat in your throat. Of course, the resistance had to be careful, but surely this was excessive.

After you received treatment for your assortment of cuts and burns, you were delivered to a small room, adorned with only a bed and curtains to block out the light. Before you could say anything, let alone protest, the doors shut, leaving you alone in a small cell deep in the heart of the Resistance base.

As terrifying as the whole situation was, when you laid your head to rest on the bed in the dingy room, sleep came. It beat thorns and nettles on the forest floor of D'Qar. It beat sitting upright for 3 days, trying to avoid meteors and Tie Fighters. It beat restless nights on Bracca, hoping to gather enough for a meal. Sleep came to you better than it ever had before, and you reveled in it.

You woke up to familiar beeping outside the large metal door.

"BB-3?" Your voice came out as a hoarse whisper. The beeping got louder, almost unbearably loud, "Calm down, bud. I don't know how to open the door."

"Step back." A male voice came from behind the door, startling you. You stumbled backward, falling on the floor as the whooshed open. A tall man stood there, and if he were surprised you were on the floor, he didn't show it.

You scrambled to your feet, brushing the dust off your clothes as BB-3 rolled in, circling around you like a vulture would his prey. The man stood there observing you and the droid got reacquainted, before clearing his throat.

"Vice Admiral Holdo would like to speak with you." His tone was authoritative. You didn't want to be on his bad side. He led you toward an office on the opposite side of the building, your legs shaking as you walked. He shot you a pitying glance as BB-3 followed at your heels, before returning his face to its emotionless expression. You hated it.

It must have been early, as only a few people were up, and those who were seemed to want to rather be asleep. But no one batted an eye your way, despite the grime you still felt clinging to your face, and the ripped clothes you were wearing. You wondered if this was normal to them. People coming home grimy, hurt, and disgusting.

Only one man seemed to notice you on your journey.

"Snap!" A voice called out to you. The man in front of you - presumably Snap - broke into a huge grin. "Long time, no see, buddy!" Snap clapped the other man on the back, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

You stood there as the other man regaled the story of whatever mission he'd been on to Snap, and for a moment, you thought you were forgotten.

Until he turned. His eyes seemed to scorch your soul with their searching gaze. It was heavy, but you felt safe under it. Almost as if you knew that he would do nothing to hurt you.

"Heard all about how this one came in yesterday." He stretched out his hand, "Captain Poe Dameron. Pleasure to meet you."

You shook his hand and returned the favour, telling you his name. He tested it on his tongue, repeating a few times. Once he seemed satisfied, Poe turned back to Snap.

"How come you got stuck on babysitting duty?" He asked, mirth dancing in his eyes. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes or butt in - you wanted these people to like you. Sarcasm could be saved for later.

"Kid brought back my droid."

"BB-8 told me the story. Something about running from a resistance fighter, blowing up a depot train," you kick BB-3 gently, "and exploding an N-1. It was impossible. Maybe you should get your droid checked for gossiping?" Snap punched him in the arm, "Hey, it was just a suggestion." Poe grinned widely, "Oh, and the shootout. How could I forget the shootout?"

"It wasn't a shootout." You slapped your hand to your mouth. You hadn't meant to say that out loud. So much for saving the sarcasm for later.

Poe turns to look at you. "Oh?" his grin infuriatingly wide. "That's not what the droid said."

"It wasn't a shootout, we were shot at." Your confidence floods back into you. "And the depot train wasn't us. Wrong place, wrong time. Am I right, bud?" You glare down at the BB-unit.

He mumbles something about ruining a good story before whirring off to stop behind Snap. Stupid BB-unit.

"Guess you're more interesting than I gave you credit for kid." Snap stepped towards you, hand coming to rest on your shoulder. "The name's Temmin, Temmin Wexley. But everyone calls me Snap."

"Pleasure to meet you Snap," you echo Poe's words from earlier.

Your meeting with the Vice Admiral went well. She believed your story, well corroborated by both BB-3 and the bounty on your head placed by a well-meaning neighbour. She cleared you to start training with the resistance, though you surprised both her and Snap when you asked to be a mechanic.

Though when you started working on ships, it was clear to see why. It was almost like there was a secret language that ships spoke that only you seemed to understand. You scoffed at that. Beginner's luck you called it. Still, there was no denying that you loved working on the ships and that you were good at it too.

Months went by and you settled into the routines of the Resistance. You were given a room closer to the other mechanics, who, despite the constant tension of competition, seemed to like you well enough. You often sat with them for meals, although passing up on opportunities to spend more time with them. They seemed content with that. You got used to the early morning wake-up calls when the sun streamed through the window and urgent repairs needed to be made. You learned to enjoy the quiet evenings when everyone else had closed up shop and you could finetune repairs for those who needed it. You finally felt like you had a purpose. It was freeing.

Snap kept you up-to-date on the comings and goings of the First Order - never in much detail of course, but enough to satiate your desire to know more. In return you smuggled him extra jogan fruitcake when it was served while he was away. Sometimes, in thanks for saving your life, you made extra updates and repairs to his X-Wing when he came back from long missions - more often than not to save his those extra hours of tedious work.

Black Squadron had come home after a week long mission the night before. You had worked late into the night the day before, and you were now regretting it. Blue squadron had come into contact with a few Tie Fighters on night patrol, and the damage was hair-pullingly extensive. You were in for a long day. It didn't help that you could barely keep your eyes open, hands glued to a cup of Caf that was doing little for the tiredness clouding your brain. You didn't even notice Snap come storming in.

"WHO WORKED ON MY SHIP LAST NIGHT?" He yelled over all the mechanics. Shit.

You had done some basic repairs for him the evening before last and had spent the better part of last night finishing up repairs and repainting his ship. You knew how pilots were with ship paint. Maker, you were screwed.

After a few moments of silence, you decided it was better to own up than let everyone suffer. "I did, Wexley."

He slowly turned towards you, before grabbing you and pulling you into a bone-crushing hug, lifting your feet off the ground. You were shocked. He was happy - no, elated. The rest of the mechanics, equally as confused as you, turned back to their work, ignoring the scene in front of them.

He still had you gripped tightly when Poe walked in. "Easy tiger, you'll kill the greenie. What did she do to deserve your wrath?"

"My wrath?! No, no, no, Poe. This kid is my new favorite person on base."

"I'll try not to take offense to that," Poe grumbled jokingly, "What did she do to deserve such high praise then?"

"Have you seen my ship? She's beautiful, more beautiful than Jess that one time." He started, about to regale a story, you did not need to know. You elbowed him hard in the ribs.

"My sentiment exactly," Poe said to you, giving you a fist bump before walking over to Snap's X-Wing, closely followed by Snap himself. You trailed behind them, still unsure of what was going on. Poe dragged his finger across the paintwork, "He has a point though. I've never seen Snap's X-Wing look this good." Poe turned towards you, his warm brown eyes sparkling with pride. "Good job, Greenie."

You smiled gently, before turning away. It was high praise from Captain Poe Dameron, flyboy of the resistance.

"Maybe I'll snap her up, you know, give her a real ship to work on?" Poe said, his flirting tone making an odd double entendre that made your face light up in flames.

"Not a chance. Kid, you're my new mechanic. Officially."

"What if I don't want to be?" You countered, your sarcastic tone making both Snap and Poe burst into laughter.

You accepted the role though. There was no world in which you didn't. You enjoyed the perks of being Snap's favored Mechanic - you could sleep in more often, you were privy to more information than the average mechanic. He would tell you if he was to leave the base soon, you were often told just how bad a situation was. Snap trusted you. And if Snap did, so did the others.

'The others' being the other pilots on Black Squadron: Jessika Pava, Karé Kun, L'ulo L'ampar. And of course, Poe Dameron. It was almost like you couldn't escape him. His infectious laugh, his boyish grin, his boisterous personality. His ability to make even the most mundane task into a story for the ages.

No wonder he was so popular.

You began to sit with them in the cantina and you frequently ended up leading the repairs on Black Squadron, no one else being as trusted as you. You opened up to them slowly, telling them about growing up on Kessel and being brought to the Scrapper’s guild on Kessel. You told them the truth about your escape - Poe ended up on the floor laughing, saying “the real story’s so much better, BB-3”. They found out about your impeccable aim after a fun night in the cantina that ended in a tense game of holodarts. They became your family - more of a family you had ever had in your life.

And while, you saw Snap, L’ulo and Karé as your brothers, you could not say the same for Poe. Poe was a flirt, everyone knew that. But as you got closer and closer, it was harder to ignore the way you're heart sped up when he looked at you. How you're palms grew clammy when he smiled in your direction. How his praises and compliments made your knees weak. God you were in love with him.

You knew that half the women on the base had either slept with him or wanted to, and yet not one of them got even a second of his time. None of them except you. Poe would walk you to your room in the evening, and to the cantina in the morning, regaling stories of his adventures before he knew you. He’d bring you caf when you were working late, and sit under the stars with you at the end of a long day. He’d tell you stories of Yavin 4 and his mother. He showed you the ring that hung on the end of his necklace.

“I want to give it to the one, you know?”

“Don’t get all sentimental on me, Captain.”

He groaned, “Don’t rank me.” You just smiled.

“So, no lucky lady in your life, Dameron?”

“No lucky man in yours, greenie?”

You scoffed, “If there was ever a chance, they’ve all been scared away by you.”

“Good.”

You laughed it off, but inside your guts twisted at the idea that Poe was happy you were single. Your insides warmed at the idea that he might just feel the same.

The next morning, you walked out of your room to the sight of Poe sneaking out of the room opposite yours. Half-naked. His eyes widened at the sight of you, and your hand quickly hid your eyes from the view. Your heart dropped. He lied to you.

Poe sought you out later on in the day. He came up behind you on the landing deck, with a cool glass of jogan juice in hand. You had stripped out of your mechanics jumsuit, the arms tied loosely around your waist. Your tank top was almost a shade darker with the sweat of exertion and ridiculous heat. And yet you declined it, your face barely concealing your childlike annoyance. You knew it was stupid. You and Poe were barely friends, let alone anything that would justify your anger.

“I’m sorry.” Poe huffed, still standing underneath you in the beating sunshine. You were surprised: Poe Dameron never apologises.

“For what?” You said, your back still facing him. He sighed - he didn’t like it when anyone was annoyed at him. Least of all you.

“For this morning.”

“Why does it matter, Poe? You can sleep with who you want to.” You said, anger colouring your voice.

“It matters,” he yells, “because it upset you. Because, for whatever reason, the idea of me sleeping with other people, made you mad at me.”

His obliviousness tugged at your heartstrings, as if to say ‘he doesn’t feel the same’.“I’m not mad that you’re sleeping with other people.”

“Then why are you ignoring me?”

“Because you lied to me, Poe.” You say, dropping down from the ladder, sweat dripping down your back.

“What are you talking about?”

“You said there was no one special in your life.”

“There isn’t.” You raise a brow, before grabbing the glass of jogan juice from his hand. “Just because we had fun for a night, doesn’t mean I’m getting down on one knee.”

“I think you’ve done it enough times for that to be proven, Poe.”

His cheeky smile returned, “Glad we’re back on first name terms.”

You shook your head at him, “For the record, if I ever catch you sneaking out of a room in my wing again, I’ll skin you myself.”

“If you catch me you say? Well, I like myself a challenge.” You slap him on the head, before climbing back up the ladder.

“Leave me alone, Poe. I don’t need your love troubles plaguing my every hour.”

“There’s no place for things like love in the middle of a war, greenie. First thing you learn in a place like this.”

If he hadn’t been walking away, he would have heard your heart burst into a thousand tiny pieces. Maybe it was for the best if you didn't love him.

Instead of wallowing in undeserving heartache like an idiot, you forced yourself to forget all about the way Poe made your heart feel. He became just another friend, pushed so far into the friendzone that was no conceivable way out. To his credit, you didn’t hear of another escapade of his again. He probably just got good at hiding them.

That always got difficult when he was sent on week-long missions. Your heart would migrate into your throat and even swallowing became difficult. Your mind would swim with worry, all for him to come back completely fine, his ship always seemed to come home the least scathed. A fact for which your heart was grateful.

"Hey, flyboy," you called, as you walked into the cantina. There were less than 10 people in the whole room - probably due to the ungodly hour of the day.

Poe was sat in the corner, the light of his datapad shining on his face. He ran his fingers through his hair. It was unusually disheveled, which could only mean one thing. He was nervous.

You walked up to him. Evidently, he hadn't heard you from across the room, because when you came up to him and rested your hand on his shoulder, he flinched and grabbed your hand. You winced at his tight grip as he turned to face you.

Poe released your hand when he saw it was you. He leaned back into your chest, eyes fluttering shut. "I'm sorry," he whispered, gently.

You grabbed the datapad from his hands, and placed it face down on the table, "It's ok. What's going on?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

You absent-mindedly run your hands through his hair as his head remained leaned against your chest. "It's not nothing. Is it a mission? You're leaving again soon?"

He hummed in agreement.

"You're leaving today, aren't you? That's why you're up early."

"Why do you think Snap got you to wake up early? You're not just a sight for sore eyes, you know."

His words made you blush. Never have you been more glad that he isn't staring right at you - it would give your heart’s deepest darkest desires away.

He left that afternoon. After you completed routine checks for him, he was off on a top-secret adventure. Sometimes, it was easy to hate his rank, because it made it so hard to find out where he was, or what he was doing. But as always, you let him go and, as always, you prayed he'd come home safe. To you. You always pray he comes home safe to you.

Hours turned to days, days turned to weeks. And while it wasn't unheard of for Poe to be gone this long, your heart could barely take him being gone for a day. That's the price of being in love. You'd never thought of yourself as still being in love with Poe until he left on that mission. You'd never thought much of the way your heart still raced when he talked to you. You'd never thought much of the way your heart still ached when he left for missions. You'd never thought much of the way your heart still burst when he smiled at you. But without him there, it's like your heart could not find a reason for beating.

You continued on with your job, trudging through daily repairs and meals, trying to keep your mind away from Poe. You forced a smile when you talked to Snap - missing Poe hit him just as hard as it hit you. You forced a smile when you taught new recruits - you couldn't afford to have them hate you just because the Captain was missing. You forced a smile when you came down for dinner - there was no use in moping around in the middle of a war. But when you were in the comfort of your own room, you let the smile fall and the tears drip down your face. You cried almost every night for the first week that he was gone, trying to reconcile your newly found feelings and your newly lost friend.

It was a surprise to everyone when Poe crash-landed back on D'Qar with burns and cuts littering his body. You were up at an extremely early hour as working on Snap's ship when he landed, and you were immediately filled with concern. A tight knot wound its way around your throat, as you watched the scene unfold. BB-8 was nowhere to be seen. The ship is smoking dangerously, and parts of it are falling off, but most worrying of all, Poe was struggling to get out of the cockpit. You quickly threw yourself onto the X-Wing, hitting the emergency ejection latch with the spanner in your hand. The cockpit lid flew open and Poe climbed out, coughing heavily and clutching his side. Snap came running out of the base, and grabbed Poe's arm. You ran up and grabbed the other, and the two of you dragged him towards the med wing.

Two nurses snapped him up, cleaning his wounds and applying bacta spray where necessary. Snap turned away, mumbling something about an early morning briefing, but you stayed rooted to the spot. You couldn't take your eyes off his broken state, and tears slipped out of your eyes before you could control them. After a beat, you spun around on your heel and sprinted to your room.

When the door clanged shut, you slumped onto the floor and burst into tears. You couldn't bear to see Poe in pain. You hated yourself for not being strong enough to fight through your tears to be with him. And you hated yourself for still being in love with him, when you promised you would be. When your datapad lit up with tasks for the day, you made the rash decision to call in sick. In the time you had been on the base, you had never called in sick. This job was your lifeline, your passion, and nothing, not even illness, would affect that. At least, that's what you had thought. You spent the majority of the week in that same spot, tears subsiding when you became so dehydrated that your body refused to let you cry.

On the fifth day of your hibernation, you finally left your room, having showered and gotten ready. Few people were on the base, apart from the mechanics and medics, and the injured - which included Poe. Given the lack of a real threat in the vicinity, General Leia had given the day off. You didn’t want to relax. You couldn’t relax.

You snuck over to where Poe’s beat up X-Wing was parked, and the sight of it almost made you tear up. The memories hit you like a brick. Poe barely limping towards the med wing. BB-8 being carried to the droid repair room. Fire extinguishers coating the X-Wing with hopes that it may be able to fly again. You got to work.

You were finally satisfied as the sun set over the vast treescape of D'Qar, covered head to toe in oil and grease. After some gentle coaxing by Paige - the only one aware of your all-consuming feelings for Poe - you agreed to grab something small to eat with her.

What you didn't sign up for was to see a broken and battered Poe sitting at the table, laughing at some stupid joke that Snap had probably made. He looked up as you walked in, almost as if he was expecting you. His eyes met yours, and you felt the tight knot in your throat begin to form again - just as it had the morning Poe crash-landed on the base.

Poe tried to lift his arm up to wave but winced at the action, the stitches keeping his wounds bound together stretching at the extreme action. You pressed your lips into a tight smile, willing the Maker to take your tears away. Paige handed you a bottle of water, before leading you toward the table. She left you standing in front of the table, where you awkwardly shifted your feet.

"Gonna sit down?" Snap asked, mirth dancing behind his eyes, "Or are you planning to put on a show? Wouldn't put it past you to have hidden another talent."

You smiled weakly, sitting down next to Jess and unscrewing the cap on the water bottle you had been given. Jess leaned over and whispered gently, "Feeling ok? Paige came up to ask if you were ok when you didn't show up at drills this morning."

"Yeah, felt a bit under the weather after morning rounds."

"Probably the shitty sleep you've been getting worrying about this guy." Karé said, pointing his knife at Poe.

Poe looked at you, his eyes wide, but you tried to brush off Karé's words, sarcastically replying, "Oh please Karé, the only thing you're worried about is whether or not they have that drink that you like from Sorgan, which is disgusting by the way - I don't know how you can drink it."

Everyone laughs as Karé splutters about how delicious spotchka is, the anxiousness wracking your body easing its reins slightly. Under the table, you feel Poe's foot nudge yours gently. You smile lightly at him, careful not to let him have a good look at your red-rimmed eyes and splotchy face. As much as it shouldn't matter, you don't want him to know how much you care.

"You don't have to pretend you don't care for the captain, kid. You should have seen how she leaped to open the hatch Poe, something from a Naboo holodrama. Or one of those superhero films." Snap laughed, as your face burned red.

Poe raised his eyebrow, "Now that's something I would like to see. Maybe I'll get myself stuck in a cockpit again, just to see you in action." He laughs, but you don't laugh with him. You feel your chest tighten, and the knot in your throat return. Your vision clouds with tears, and you quickly got up, excusing yourself on the notion that your headache has returned, and that you should probably get some rest before drills the next day. You stumbled out of the cantina, breaking into a sprint as soon as you were out of sight.

Poe’s eyes followed you as you left, worrying tinting his gaze. The group had fallen almost silent at your abrupt exit, looking at where you’d run, before turning back to Poe. Snap slapped the back of his head.

“Why, in the Maker’s name, would you say that?”

“What?” Poe said, rubbing the back of his head. Jess gave him a pointed look, “What did I say?”

“You joked about getting hurt, Poe! Why would you do that?”

“He didn’t just joke about getting hurt, Wex! He joked about almost dying!”

"Oh please, it's not that big of a deal. Everyone knew it was a joke. Right?" No one looks at him. "Right?!"

Jess waves at Paige, whose eyes were trained at the door. She meekly walks over, leaning down to talk to Jess.

"Is she ok?" Paige asked, her eyes brushing over the group until they landed on Poe, "What did he do?"

Poe's eyes narrowed in confusion. "I'm so confused," he muttered under his breath.

"He made a joke.”

Snap butt in, “About almost dying."

Paige’s eyes widened, "You're not serious."

"Look, I don't know what's up with her today, but something tells me that that was the last thing she needed right now."

Paige turned towards Poe, "If you weren't injured right now, Captain, I would beat you up."

"Hold up. I don't even know what I did." He said, standing up. "I get that the joke was a little misplaced, but it was a joke. I didn't put myself in this situation willingly."

"We get it, Poe. But you haven't been here. She's literally been destroyed - she's barely sleeping, I barely see her come down to eat, she spends all her time working on different ships, drowning herself in work. Today was the first day in the year she's been here that she's called in sick." Paige said, her eyes flitting between Poe and the door. She was in a half-mind to run after you, to console you.

Poe beat her to it. He got up, ignoring the protest from his teammates, and headed towards your room. He knocked lightly on your door, hearing the gentle sobbing from your room.

His heart broke. He knocked again.

“I’m fine Paige, I just need sleep.”

“Nice to know you’d lie to Paige.” Poe said, his voice steady and gentle. You open the door to you room, the door whooshing up to reveal Poe in all his glory, “Would you lie to your Captain?”

“Don’t pull rank with me, Poe.” You joked as he bent to meet your eyes.

He reached out to caress his fingers against your cheek and wipe away the stray tears. You leaned your head into his hands, the callouses on his hands like comfort against your cheek. He touches his forehead to your eyes, his eyes closed as if he couldn’t quite believe you were here. That this was happening.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. Poe’s eyes met yours, softly searching for something. Answers, probably.

“Why are you sorry, darling?” The pet name gripped your heart, so familiar and yet so foreign. The tears begin to flow freely again. He soothed you, mindlessly carding his fingers through your hair, “Don’t cry, don’t cry.”

You look into his eyes, and can’t help but to sob harder. Why did you have to fall in love with him?

Your head curled into his chest, seeking the comfort only he could give. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He asked, whispering into your hair.

“I didn’t mean to.” You said through tears. Poe looked at you.

“You didn’t mean to what, love?” He asked. You repeated it over and over, your tears soaking through his shirt. He lets you cry until your weak, pulling you further into his arms.

He asks you again.

“I didn’t mean to love you so much.” You confessed through whispers. It was so quiet that you thought that Poe didn’t catch what you said.

His widened eyes told you otherwise.

“You…?”

“I love you.” You whispered.

“You-you love me?”

“I love you so much that whenever I see you my heart quickens until it’s uncomfortable.”

“Love -”

“I love you so much that my hands become so sweaty that I can barely keep a hold of my datapad.” You showed him your hands that were covered in a sheen. He gives you a watery laugh, before wiping your hands on his already soaked shirt.

“I love you so much that when you leave, I can’t bear to survive.”

“Love-” You interrupt him again.

“There’s no life without you, Poe.” Your voice broke as you dissolved into another bout of tears.

“Love, please.” Poe sighed, kissing your forehead, “Please, just-”

“I know. It’s a war. I shouldn’t have, but I did and I can’t help it. Please don’t hate me, please-”

Poe grabbed your face, pulling you into him. He grazed his lips over yours, before pulling away way to fast.

“I could never hate you, love.”

You pull him back towards you, smashing your lips onto his. He pulls you into his lap deepening the kiss further. You run your fingers through his hair, and over where the bandages cover his fresh wounds. Poe winced, and you pulled back.

“You should rest. And heal up.”

He looked at you with such adoration, that for a moment you thought you’d melt away. “I have the rest of forever to heal up. I want this now.”

“You have me for the rest of forever. I think you should heal up now.” He rested his forehead against yours, sighing and closing his eyes. You kissed his nose gently.

“The rest of forever is too far away.” He whispered.

“You made me wait for this long. I think you could wait for a little longer.”

“Only a little bit, love. Only for you.”

He stood up, holding his hand out to you. You grabbed it, and he pulled you to your feet. The sudden motion had you dizzy, head pounding due to the dehydration. He caught you gently, lifting you into his arms, before gently depositing you on the bed. He left light kisses on your forehead, and left with the promise of coming back with water and a little food.

He walked out of the mechanics wing and back towards the cantina, intent on his mission to get a little food and water into you.

The whole of black squadron watched him walk in. Poe nodded to them lightly, not knowing exactly what they had been expecting. Apparently it was enough for them, as they turned back towards each other.

He grabbed a small muffin and a bottle of water, before heading back to your room. He walked into see you asleep on the bed, and he couldn’t help but smile. God, she’s beautiful.

Poe sat down on the bed, rubbing your arm gently. You opened a bleary eye to see Poe crouched next to you, blocking the moonlight streaming in from the window. He pulled off his shirt, and lifted your head up to get you drink some water, before settling down next to you. You rested your head on his chest before falling back to sleep.

Poe moved under you, pulling his necklace from around his neck and placing it around yours. Your hand immediately migrated to the metal ring strung on the end. Poe froze. What if it’s too soon. He relaxed almost immediately, as your fist closes around his rings.

He relaxed, pushing his nose into your hair. You smiled as he whispered something that he probably only said because he thought you were asleep.

“I love you too."

fin.

buy me a coffee

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joshleyson · 6 months ago

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Life Update + Postcards from Mount Pulag

If there's one thing I'm particularly proud of that I did this year in the name of self-care, it is using my Apple Watch for what it was designed to do and being mindful of closing my rings on the Fitness App, which includes meeting my Move, Stand, and Exercise requirements for the day.

Last weekend, I went on my first major walk this year, to Mount Pulag in Benguet, the majestic and highest mountain in Luzon. For the first time ever, I was able to set a *drum roll please* record-breaking 42K steps, perhaps more because my watch died in the middle of the climb. It never occurred to me to go on this ALMOST 10-hour hike until J, who by the way was a famous OG Tumblr influencer during the peak Tumblr era circa 2012 (if you know him, mag-asawa ka na hahaha), introduced me to the idea of going to Baguio (I haven’t been to Baguio since forever) and eventually having to explore Mount Pulag after. J and I have known each other for over 12+ years, but it was only this year that we began to see each other more frequently; he is also the person who introduced and challenged me to finish my rings on the Fitness app. I began this "ring" journey at the end of March, but I wasn't fully committed until I started seeing some, hmm, what's the word, "changes" when I started monitoring my InBody results, which show my weight, BMI, muscle mass, and even body fat percentage decreasing. Long story short, I'm making some small progress with trying to make my BMI normal again. Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to paint the typical fitness buff image with raging, strong-looking muscles, because that's not who I am, but I wanted to give myself credit also for losing 10kgs in just 4 months, and I'm not even pulling my hair out about it, just that awareness of "Did I close my rings today?" moment. Like I told J, I never expected accountability to feel this good. So I'm quite delighted with that.

Enough of the fitness thingee and going back to Mount Pulag, I'm so happy that we were able to pull it off this year. We started by staying in Baguio for 2 days which by the way the weather was THE. BEST. Having to walk around the city in layered clothes without breaking a sweat as a pawisin was HEAVEN. It was something that I missed when I went back to Manila. After 2 days, we headed straight to Kabayan, Benguet, where our homestay was located, and by midnight started our trek to Pulag summit. The trek was surprisingly easy. The quiet and quaint landscapes while on our way to the summit were something that I enjoyed so much. It was tiring and yes, the weather was extremely cold. Miss Hypothermia is REAL especially on the summit but with the right amount of clothing, it's no biggie. Just do a little bit of research before signing up for the hike and you'll be just fine. On that trip, we met and bonded with new faces which I hope soon will become friends because they're nice to be with which made the hike bearable. Being the beach person that I am which is very OBVIOUS on this blogosphere, exploring the mountains and the countryside was very refreshing to see and I kinda wanted to make that commitment to at least do this at least once a year. Let's see!

(No Light Pollution? Here's the Milky Way captured in the default iPhone camera app.)

Overall, the Mountain Province trip including late-night walks in Baguio, wandering to places and cafés and bar hopping walking side to side because we’re drunk AF, and then Mount Pulag was something I'm so grateful for that I get to check them out this year. There were "unplanned" and "down" moments on that trip, sure, but I guess that's just normal, especially since I'm with the person I wanted to get to know more, and J, if you're reading this, thank you. I feel like all the things that happened on that trip have a reason and I just wanna say thank you for being…you. I will not be surprised if one day that rough idea of a psycho-thriller slasher movie we kind of created while sitting on a bus will soon come to life. Write that fucking screenplay. PLEASE.

So that's my not-so-quick life update that no one asked about. I think I mentioned before in this space that the more I have something "major" going on with my life whether professional or personal, I am less inclined to talk about it versus in my heyday, loud, teenage years and I think that's what really living is all about. Touch some grass they say, and literally, I did that in the mountains of Mount Pulag, and those memories which I hope I could bottle, and that seeing something so beautiful is enough to remind me that everything's gonna be alright.

Siri, play Gravity by Sara Bareilles, JOSHY

(Mountain Province, July 2024)

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matan4il · 8 months ago

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We've lost so many people since the last time I could make a news update post, that I find it hard to write about them all. I guess at the very least, I need to write about 38 years old Elad Fingerhut, father of 3, who was murdered by Hezbollah on our Independence Day. He was a civilian, who happened to be nearby when a terrorist rocket attack on Israel's north started, he realized soldiers were hurt, and ran in to help. That's when he was hit directly by a following anti-tank missile fired at the same spot. He was murdered for being a decent human being, willing to help others even under fire.

The IDF has recovered the bodies of 4 Israeli hostages, all of them were murdered on Oct 7 and it was their bodies that the terrorists had kidnapped. The corpses were found thanks to military intel in a tunnel in northern Gaza, next to explosive devices, so Hamas was actually using these bodies as a booby trap to kill Israeli soldiers. I will never understand people stanning an organization capable of murdering innocent civilians, and then using their bodies like that. The four hostages were Shani Louk, Ron Benjamin, Itzhak Gelerenter, and Amit Buskila. As far as I'm aware, only Shani was confirmed as murdered on Oct 7 before this operation, so bringing the bodies back allows, in addition to proper burial of the murdered, for the families to finally know what happened to their loved ones, get to mourn, and hopefully start processing, and eventually, healing. As for Shani herself? Just a small reminder that on Oct 7 itself a vid was published, showing her body stripped down, leg broken, tossed into the back of a truck, guarded by armed terrorists, with a random Gazan teenager was spitting on her violated corpse, and after that, a Gaza "journalist" called her family to lie to them and claim Shani's alive, just injured, and being treated in a hospital for her wound. If that's not enough, a Gaza "photojournalist" won an award for taking a picture showing the Hamas terrorists riding the truck on top of her. Now her family can finally find comfort in knowing their kid is at rest.

There are at this time 128 hostages in Gaza still, at least 39 are believed to be bodies. This includes two Thai men who were kidnapped from Israel, for whom there is now evidence that they were murdered on Oct 7, and their corpses are held hostage.

May the memory of all Palestinian terrorists' victims be a blessing.

I assume everyone knows already that the (undemocratically elected) president of Iran, Ibrahim Raisi, known as "the butcher of Tehran," has been killed in a helicopter crash. What people may not be aware of is that the UN has actually observed a moment of silence for the man who personally oversaw the murder of countless innocent Iranians, many of them as part of the Islamic regime's gender-targeted violence, and who, as part of the regime, was responsible for many more deaths of people around the world, including financing Hamas and so enabling the Oct 7 massacre. In fact, the UN secretary general has extended personal condolences to the people and government of Iran for Raisi's death, as per his official statement. Here's what the UN's one tweet about it looks like:

(I'm not surprised that the top comment is an angry one from a Ukrainian woman, since the Iranian regime does supply Russia with attack drones and missiles)

Meanwhile, do you know how long it took the UN to officially discuss for the first time the hostages abducted from Israel on Oct 7, as part of a massacre enabled by Iran? Seven and a half months (discussion held on May 16, five days ago). But sure, the UN isn't biased at all, and is totally reliable and a force for peace. Please keep this in mind as the UN's judicial arms, the ICJ and ICC, continue to make a mockery of justice and the idea of international humanitarian law. Hey, did you know that the ICC's chief prosecutor never asked for arrest warrants against Raisi?

Meanwhile, around the world, antisemitism has only been intensifying. Some recent incidents include an Israeli father living in Belgium being attack by an anti-Israel mob in front of his visiting daughter, in France they burned down a synagogue (great how I couldn't find a single headline where the synagogue attack was mentioned before the fate of the attacker following it), in Sweden there were shots fired near the Israeli embassy, and in NYC a man randomly stopped his bike by a group of religious Jewish kids playing on the street and physically attacked them...

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

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milligramspoison · 3 months ago

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Hi! First two MCR shows for 2024! Except part of the list started in 2023 thanks to fucking Mikey and Chris!

I also have a list of MCR’s 2022-2023 tour if you also want to check that out! Anyways ty Mikey and Chris for starting this list off 11 months early 😭

MCR @ WWWY

Hey Chris commented a sunset emoji under Mikey’s post that announced day 2 of WWWY, referring to Pete’s Amazing New Mexico Sunset post from 2005 (writing this on November 17th, 2023- 11 fucking months to go lmao)

Mikey also replied to Chris’ comment

Mikey is also very excited to play Disenchanted! (Love this for him)

Not WWWY but it deserves to be here -> Gerard’s cat costume from Toronto night 2 made it into the show Carol & the End of the World! (Hi it’s January 29th, 2024 as I’m writing this bullet point)

Frank is back on his fortune cookie bullshit (hello it’s March 18th, 2024 as I’m writing this)

American Idol contestant Abi Carter sang WTTBP for her top 20 performance on April 14th, 2024!

Chris posted the Pete and Mikey emo critters on his story on May 17th, 2024, using 🌅 as the fucking caption 😭

My Chem’s facebook got hacked on July 25th, 2024 😍

They’re doing additional songs after they do TBP in full, possibly the B Sides and Living With Ghosts 👀 (update they didn’t do either 😭)

Teenagers surpassed 1 BILLION streams on Spotify!!

I’m Not Okay will be added to Fortnite October 17th! (And will already be in the game by the time this post goes up!)

Close up of MCR’s (and FOB’s) merch for the festival!

The Swarm fly also returns for whatever reason 👀 (it was a big symbol during the last tour so I’m surprised it’s back for two one off shows)

DAY BEFORE WWWY WE HAVE THE BAND SOUNDCHECKING FAMOUS LAST WORDS (it’s officially WWWY weekend!!!)

MCR’s first show since March 26th, 2023!! (That’s 573 days aka 19 months!!)

Frank’s first tonight’s our night post involving MCR since last year 🥲

Mikey was spotted watching Mayday Parade’s set!

A CLIP OF THEM SOUNDCHECKING ON THE 18TH

Mikey was also spotted watching Dashboard Confessional’s set!

A third Mikey (and this time Kristin too!) spotting!

A fourth Mikey spotting and he’s with Patrick of FOB this time!!

WHITE FLOORING IS BEING LAID OUT

MCR’S STAGE AROUND THE BEGINNING OF FOB’S SET

MCR’S STAGE TOWARDS THE MIDDLE OF FOB’S SET

MCR’S STAGE AROUND 9:45PM

Pete of FOB hyped up the crowd for MCR’s set during the FOB set!!

WHATEVER THIS IS THEYRE TESTING STUFF FOR MCR’S SET

4 separate stage lights for them as of rn…….

GERARD AND MIKEY’S PARENTS ARE THERE

GERARD GOT A HAIRCUT

THE END FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE OCTOBER 7TH, 2007

DEAD FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE AUGUST 27TH, 2011

RAY ALSO HAD TWO GUITARS (obvi but still exciting nonetheless 😭)

“Fuck yeah” ~ Gerard

“Kisses for you!” ~ also Gerard!

SHARPEST LIVES FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE MAY 9TH, 2008

RAY’S WINE RETURNS

“Spicy, you're fucking spicy” ~ Gerard ofc

I DON’T LOVE YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE OCTOBER 17TH, 2022

Gerard asked the audience to bark as they were going into House of Wolves 😭

HOUSE OF WOLVES FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE MARCH 20TH, 2023

CANCER FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE MARCH 19TH, 2023

They also got a violinist for Cancer and it sounded incredible

The violinist was Kayleigh Goldsworthy!!!!!

DISENCHANTED FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE OCTOBER 7TH, 2007

There was also blooming and decaying flowers during Disenchanted!!

And there was also swords at some point during the set too…

RAYRARD MOMENT

“I got all this fucking honey in my mouth, it broke my ass! The fucking softest hands!” ~ Gerard, whatever he was rambling about 😭

WTTBP WAS REPRISED AT THE END OF FAMOUS

Blood was played on tape for the first time in many years!!

The band had an encore following the entirety of TBP!

I’m Not Okay was the first song of the encore!

A fan rushed the stage and touched Frank before being escorted off 🤦‍♀️ (BE NORMAL PPL they’re human just like the rest of us)

The look Gerard gave the stage rusher was super funny tho 😭

And they ended night one off on Helena!

DAN AND PHIL REFERENCED NO BUT SERIOUSLY IMAGINE IT

VIDEO OF THEM REFERENCING IT

Frank and Gerard goofing around <3

Marina Toybina styled their outfits (or at least Gerard’s) for night one of the festival!! (She also styled a lot of outfits for Gerard on the last tour!)

“Hey everybody!” ~ Gerard as he was going backstage!

MIKEY WATCHED FOB’S SET AND SANG ALONG TO MMRS

Gerard got on their tippy toes to reach over to fans on the other side of the fence 🥹

FRANK SPOTTING (WWWY night 2)

Cherry, Miles, and Lily (Frank’s kiddos) watching the Dunes set from yesterday <3 (and a bonus- it’s also Frank’s second tonight’s our night post for MCR since last year!)

Pete of FOB once again hyped up the crowd for MCR’s set during FOB’s!!!

GERARD IS IN THE SAME OUTFIT

RAY IS IN A BLACK SHIRT AND JEANS

“FUCKING ACE MAN” ~ Gerard!

Pixels of Mikey and Frank!!!

“Thank you” ~ Gerard after I Don’t Love You 🥹

KAYLEIGH RETURNED ON VIOLIN

SERENITY PRAYER BEFORE MAMA

KAYLEIGH ALSO DID VIOLIN ON MAMA TONIGHT

“BAG FULL OF KNIVES”

“There was a summer, I started collecting knives. Big bags full of knives. It’s because my friend died. And I was hoping somebody would try to hurt me so I could kill them. And he fell down. And one day he went to sleep forever.” ~ GERARD BEFORE SLEEP

“Vegas, I want you you to let go of everything. Everything!” ~ also Gerard before Sleep!

Gerard also laughed during Sleep 😭

“BELLISSIMO”

“THIS IS A SONG ABOUT BEING IN THE DREAM. AND DYING. BECAUSE THATS ALL DREAMS DO” ~ GERARD GOING INTO DISENCHANTED

WTTBP REPRISE AGAIN DURING FAMOUS

NA NA NA IS THE FIRST SONG OF THE ENCORE

SECOND SONG OF THE ENCORE IS HELENA

“Good night Las Vegas!” ~ Gerard before Helena!

WWWY POSTED PROFESSIONAL FOOTAGE OF MCR’S SET

GERARD WRAPPED THE MIC CORD AROUND THEIR NECK JUST LIKE OLD TIMES

This photo of Gerard…

AND THIS PHOTO OF GERARD WITH RAY AND MIKEY

Gerard met some fans after the show!!

RAY’S STAGE LEFT TATTOO HAS MADE AN APPEARANCE

Some of the photos Beemer took last night!

RAY AND HIS WINE RETURN ONCE AGAIN

INCREDIBLE video of Gerard

Hi if you’ve made it this far! Welcome to the 2024 list for MCR!- that feels so good to say omg

I’m so excited to be posting this after having it in my drafts since last November. And it was so exciting to be liveblogging about an MCR show again with everyone!!

I hope it isn’t a long time before we all can do this again. Following the tour was such an incredible experience for me and to do it again for two nights only this weekend was amazing

Anyways, thank you if you’ve made it this far. And I hope all of you enjoy looking back on the list!!

My Chemical Romance forever and ever, okay? <33333

#god i can’t believe i’m setting this post free into the wild #this is so insane i can’t believe we’re talking about TWO mcr 2024 shows 🥲🥲#ANYWAYS…the little sister to the tour list is HERE #mcr #my chemical romance #my chem #mcrwwwy #mcrwwwy2

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foxienix · 6 months ago

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PAINT A SMILE Legacy Challenge

GENERATION 1: DIDN’T MEAN IT

Bouns Trait For Baby Daddy: Romantically Abusive - TRIGGER WARNING⛔ | Patreon

GENERATION 2: PAINT A SMILE

Growing up you (and your siblings if you they have any) grew up in a toxic environment for half of your life. Even though things got better, that part still stuck with you. This made you afraid of ending up in a situation like that yourself. This results in you playing the field due to your fear of getting hurt. Will you get over your fear and let yourself fall in love? Or will the fear be to strong, leaving you single for life?

Start as a Young Adult

Aspiration: Serial Romantic (Must complete before choose love or stay single)

Traits: Flirty & 2 more

Skills: Writing

Career: Freelance Writer

Hookup with four different guys and become pregnant.

Have two kids. (Twins or you can have one later)

Meet your spouse through a mutual friend (If they choose to find love)

Live out your days as a famous writer and cherish time with your kids. (If you choose to stay single)

Write a book to pass down to your kids.

Flirty Trait: Flirty Trait – Welcome to KiaraSims4Mods!

GENERATION 3: REVENGE IS SWEETER THAN YOU EVER WERE

Your teen years were great. You got good grades, had an amazing group of friends and the best boyfriend ever…or did you? Deciding to surprise your boyfriend one night at his place, you go to sneak in through the window only to catch him cheating on you…WITH YOUR COUSIN!

Life starts as a teen

Aspiration: University Bound (YA Asp: City Native)

Traits: Romantic + Any Traits

Skill: Cooking, Gourmet Cooking

Career: Master Chef

Get your heart broken in high school (cousin steals your boyfriend)

For the remainder of your high school experience you can…(make your ex & cousin miserable or focus on getting into Uni and vow to get revenge later.)

Go to University

Meet your love in Uni

Humiliate your ex & cousin in some way. You decide the revenge so get creative. (If you choose revenge later.)

Move in together with your new love to San Myshuno after graduation.

Have three children.

Make sure your heir has at least one really good childhood male friend.

EXTRA TEEN ASPIRATIONS: Teen Aspirations Bundle - updated for HSY | Patreon

GENERATION 4: THAT’S ME RIGHT THERE

As you were growing up, seeing the beautiful love your parents had for each other made you want that for yourself. You weren’t sure if it was possible but you were hopeful. Finding love in San Myshuno however wasn’t working out. A life of fun in the sun was what you always wanted. So you packed up and moved to Sulani to start your new life. Will you get your epic love story?

Young Adult Life Stage

Aspiration: Beach Life

Skill: Conservation

Career: Conservationist

Have your male childhood friend move away to Sulani as a Teen.

Go on 3 failed dates.

Move to Sulani as a Young Adult

Work on restoring Sulani’s beauty

Reconnect with your childhood friend

Start to see them in a more romantic light

Go on dates

Fall in love with your childhood friend

Eventually Marry (Beach Wedding)

Start a Family (You can do this before or after they are adults)

Have lots of family photos on the walls.

GENERATION 5: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Life in a tropical paradise was great, but you wanted something different. You’ve always had a love for film and dreamed of becoming an actor. Your parents did their best to support your dreams. Your room was always filled with movie and TV show posters. One day, you make a vow to pursue acting and become famous.

Aspiration: Master Actor

Skill: Acting, Charisma

Trait: Self-Absorbed + Any Traits (Leave the main trait for last.)

Career: Actor

Have family movie night every Friday growing up.

Make sure your heir has movie/TV posters on their room wall

Go out to the movies with friends as a teen.

Join Drama Club

(Optional) Study drama at University

Move to Del Sol Valley

Work on your Acting Career

Find love with another actor from a different background than your heir. (can be a base game actor or whoever you want.)

Max Fame

Have children in the spotlight

Movie Buff Trait: Mod The Sims - New Hobby Traits

GENERATION 6: RUN BABY RUN

You grew up in the public eye, and you hated it. So you left, the fame, your family. You left it all behind and ran away to (Newcrest, Forgotten Hollow, or Moonwood Mill.) Growing up, you much preferred the peace and quiet, but that didn’t mean you didn’t love adventure. You just only happened to experience it through your books. You were living out your deepest, darkest fantasies in the comfort of your room with your head buried in a book. After finally leaving home, you had no idea that you would be able to live out those dark fantasies. It all started when you met them.

Aspiration: Soulmate

Skill: Romance, Mischief

Trait: Bookworm, Day Dreamer

Runaway from home at 18/19 (Young Adult)

Move to Newcrest, Forgotten Hollow, or Moonwood Mill

If you move to Newcrest have your sim meet their bad boy, mafia kid, etc. (Someone who's meant to be a bad influence.)

If you move to Forgotton Hollow meet your broody vampire prince.

If you move to Moonwood Mill meet a hot werewolf beta destined to become the Alpha.

Befriend this person and start your BookTok Fantasy.

Have your sim get into a sticky situation or however many you want and have your dark and dangerous crush come to your rescue.

Have them disagree with one another a few times but still have love for each other. Like they are fighting their urges for one another.

Eventually, you should have something big happen that finally makes things official between them. (Your sim is kidnapped, almost dies, etc.)

Max the Mischief skill

Woohoo…often, as if they can’t get enough of each other.

Become pregnant

Have them marry and build their empire together.

Day Dreamer Trait: New Emotional Traits by Kuttoe (itch.io)

GENERATION 7: BETTER TOGETHER

Being raised in a powerful crime family you were always being whisked away or hidden for your protection. It was a life you weren’t happy with. You hated how people fantasized about your life being cool and dangerous. As a child, you made friends with one of the staff’s kids. To you, they felt more like family then your own. You found yourself often wishing you had been born in their family instead. You would rather help than harm others. Tired of the criminal lifestyle your family leads. A plan is formed, and you plot to stop them with the help of your friend and her family so you can finally live the life you want.

Aspiration: Firefighter Super Hero

Traits: Ambitious + Any Bonus Reward Trait: Brave

Skill: Max 3 skills of your choice

Career: Firefighter

Have your sim make friends with a Butler/Nanny’s kid.

Become very close to them both throught you childhood and on through teens.

Have a distant relationship with your parents

As a Young Adult, put your plan in motion and get rid of your parents. (Do this however you want. Be Creative.)

Move to any world you haven’t used yet.

Start your new life as a Firefighter

Save your future love from a fire.

Have 4 children

Have at least one hobby

Firefighter Career: Firefighter (Active) Career - The Sims 4 Mods - CurseForge

Firefighter Super Hero Aspiration: Firefighter Super Hero Aspiration – Welcome to KiaraSims4Mods!

GENERATION 8: BAD IDEA, RIGHT?

Growing up your fire fighter parent was your hero. The way they always cared for and protected others. Although you admired what they did, you quickly realized that path wasn’t for you. As a child you were always getting into your moms jewelry as you played dress up. Fashion was your thing. Even as you got older, you loved mixing and matching different clothes and accessories to fit your own style.

Aspiration: Crystal Crafter

Traits: Creative + Any

Skills: Jewelry Design

Create Jewelry while working the Fashion Career (or freelance it)

Get your brand out there and make that coin.

(Optional) Use the Thift Shop to create and sell looks.

Have a relationship fail either as a teen or early in your Young Adult life and give it a second chance later on with a better outcome.

Going back to your families hardworking roots. Start your own retail clothing business while still selling jewlery on the side.

Become a surrogate for someone only to find out they mistreat the child and save them, later adopting them.

GENERATION 9: FAST TIMES

Life for you was alright, it was simple and sweet. It was a good life…for your parents. Although you had no reason to dislike your childhood, you craved adventure. You wanted a life of excitement. So, when you saw extreme spirts for the first time, you knew that’s what you wanted to do. It became your whole world. All you talked about was extreme sports and your dream of becoming a Pro-Snowboarder.

Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiasts

Traits: Adventurous + Any

Skills: Snowboarding or Skiing, Rock Climbing

Watch sports alot growing up

Talk about sports with others

As a teen practice snowboarding whenever your family goes on Vacation to Mt. Komorebi

Move to Mt. Komorebi as a Young Adult

Complete your aspiration and and max the snowboarding/skiing skill

Meet the love of your life as a chance encounter at the hot springs.

Have kids and visit your parents for Holiday with the kids.

Have the children have close relationship with their grandparents

Marry as an Elder

GENERATION 10: WHERE YOU BELONG

One of your parents was a pro-snowboarder. You had a really good relationship with your grandparents. As a child whenever you got to visit them they would tell stories about how they took in your aunts and uncles when they were kids, giving them a family and a place to call home. The story was so sweet and always touched your heart when you heard it. As you grew older, you became an advocate for for adoption and try to save kids from the screwed up foster system.

Aspiration: Big Happy Family

Traits: Family Oriented

Skill: Parenting

Career: Influencer (Simfluencer)

Once you reach Young Adulthood you can begin.

Move out to Copper dale or San Sequoia

Meet your future spouse at the park and go on dates

Take in some kids and build a strong relationship with them.

Adopt five children

Marry your partner as an Adult

Document your life and post your videos on your channel.

Have a really good relationship with at least 2 or 3 kids

Foster Family Mod: Foster Family - The Sims 4 Mods - CurseForge

GENERATION 11: BE YOU ONLY YOU

You were happy with the life you were given. After spending some of your life believing you were adopted you find out you in fact were adopted by your birth parent. Being in a household full of kids wasn't always easy but you loved your family all the same. That being said you craved simplicity, a simple quiet life on a farm was your dream. As Young adult you moved to Henford-on-Bagley.

• Aspiration: Country Caretaker

• Traits: Animal Enthusiasts

• Max the cross stitching skill

• Have a strong relationship with your birth parent after being adopted by them.

• Live in a chaotic household

• Have a love for animals

• As a YA move to Henford-on-Bagley

• Go on Family Camping trips at least 3 times before you children become teens.

• Start off the grid

• Start your farm from the ground up. (Either build or renovate a rundown home)

• Tend to your farm daily (you can get a farmhand)

• Meet your special person in town

• Have 2 children

• Get married to your person

• Make friends with a wealthy sim from Sulani or Tartosa. (They could be a sim they met who was vacationing in the country or a trip you went on and met them.)

• Spend summer vacations at their beach house.

• Have your love die as a adult

• Have their friend a divorcee with two kids

Hire A Farmhand Mod: Mod: Hire a Farmhand (Cottage Living Required) | Patreon

GENERATION 12: The Summer I Turned Pretty

Growing up on the farm was nice and peaceful. You loved having all the animals around and even thought you might take it over some day. This is until your mom met a friend from (tartosa or sulani) your family started vacation with them. After your dad passed they trips became more frequent. Growing up with her kids you secretly develop a crush on one of them, at least you thought it was a secret but it turns out everyone realized and we're secretly rooting for it. Things get more interesting as you get older.

• Get close to your mom's friend almost like an aunt or second mom.

• Take vacations with your family to Sulani or Tartosa (depending on where the friend lives)

• As a child have a crush on one the their kids

• Have low confidence as a child

• Have your child heir go through an awkward phase.

• You and your sibling become very close with your mom's friends kids up into teenhood.

• Have a glow up as a teen.

• Have both of the siblings start to notice you differently

• Have the sibling you crush on be a bit difficult with you (the push and pull)

• Meet some friends during summer vacation.

• Have a whirlwind Rollercoaster of a will they won't they with each sibling

• Eventually decide who you will choose to be with and fall in love.

• Have a beautiful and strong relationship with the one you chose.

• Have your spouse parent pass during one of the summer trips

• Get through it together after almost being pushed away

• Have as many children as you want starting as a young adult and take over the tradition your mothers started.

GENERATION 13: Fight Song

You end up starting your career in the cutthroat, fast paced world of medicine. You start as a resident learning the ropes and paying your dues. Being a doctor had always been your dream. You loved helping make others feel better, however, you knew you couldn't save everyone. Even still you work hard and do the best you can. During your time a resident, one of the senior doctors starts hitting on you. You politely decline, explaining you're not interested and continue with your work. Little did you know this act of rejection would only make them want you more. What's even worse is they are a highly respected doctor who could ruin your career before even starts.

This doctor continues to make passes at you and even inappropriately touches you. Despite your constant rejections and pleadings to stop they don't and instead threaten you. "If you tell they just make it look like you were the one pursuing them to no end. Afraid of having your dream destroyed, you keep quiet. Constantly looking over your shoulder, in a state of anxiety. However, all hope is not lost as one day the harassment you've endured daily gets noticed by another doctor who steps in to protect you. Keeping an eye on you whenever your harasser is near. Once they able to get definitive proof your luck begins to change and feelings grown between you and your savior.

Join the Doctor Career as a YA

Have one of the doctors continously makes things difficult for you at work.

Have that doctor make passes at your sim

Have another doctor become your savior

Eventually expose your harasser

Develop feelings for your savior throughout this

Max the handiness skill

Max logic skill

Select any branch

Complete the Doctor career

Fall in love with your savior

Get married

Have 3 children

GOOGLE DOCS LINK: PAINT A SMILE Legacy Challenge - Google Docs

#sims #sims 4 #sims4 #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 challenge #challenge #ts4 legacy #ts4 legacy challenge #ts4 legacy gameplay #paintasmilechallenge #paintasmilelegacy #challenges #sims challenge

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frozen-snowflakesandsunflowers · 5 months ago

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D23: Frozen: What to expect | Discussion

D23 is just a week away, coming next weekend and we're expected to get a lot of Disney content! But will Frozen be a part of it? I believe so, yes. Frozen has two films coming out, Frozen 3 and 4 and also has a series coming out called Frozen: Winter Festival based on the leaked dolls so it's a must that Disney feeds us new Frozen content!

Please note that I'll just be guessing at what they could announce at the panel. Nothing's confirmed yet. These are my thoughts and opinions based on the evidence we have. What kind of Frozen content could we be expecting exactly? Let me break it down.

Frozen 3 and 4

With the announcement of Frozen 4 earlier this year with Frozen 3 already in the works, it's likely Disney will give us the full release date for Frozen 3 and 4. So far we know Frozen 3 will be released in 2026. Given the previous two films release dates, the third and fourth installment will also most likely be in November. Earlier this year (or was it last year?...) a few release date slots were leaked and one of them was 27 November 2026. Same for Frozen 4, except the date was 24 November 2027, a year after Frozen 3 like i expected given it's a two set film. So we assume Frozen 3 and 4 will have those as its release date but that has not been confirmed as of yet but it should do during the D23 expo.

Series

A few months back, we were all surprised by the leaks of brand new Frozen dolls with will be available on 15th September (A day before my birthday!). The shorts are set to release this fall. What's so special about dolls? Well it's also the information that comes with it. The info can be found in the link above but it states that the dolls, with new outfits, are part of Frozen: Winter Festival. We all thought at the time that this was a short like Frozen Fever, Olaf's Frozen Adventure and Once Upon a Snowman. But later on with another set of dolls, in the same outfit but included Olaf, the Nokk and a carriage. The description of the set reveals Frozen: Winter Festival is a short-form series. Short-form series are series with episodes under 20 - 30 minutes.

This is one of the doll packs in a box:

The box is what I want to draw attention too because it includes the recent new Elsa render/ still and a new logo design for Frozen. The title is the same but what it's in, the diamond shape with a detail pattern on the sides. The box has a blue purplish pink colour on it and the background seems to be of the woods we see in the first film. It can't be the Enchanted forest because it doesn't have a lake, and this is not the dark sea because that's part of the beach. Some of you might be like what's the big deal but for some it might feel a sense of nostalgia because this aesthetic of the box is similar to Frozen's aesthetic. Frozen 2 had the autumn leaf and a lot of things felt different. Change was the element of the movie anyways. But this short could be a mix of Frozen and Olaf's Frozen Adventure which I'm super excited for!

With this series set to make the beginning of Winter we expect a similar vibe to Olaf's Frozen Adventure with the holidays theme. Here are the descriptions for Elsa and Anna's dolls:

What we'll see in the short, based on the dolls and their description:

• The main Frozen gang will host an inaugural (mark the begging of winter) Winter Festival to celebrate Arendelle, family and friends

• Some familiar faces

• Two new looks for Elsa and Anna: A ball gown and a festival attire

• The Nokk will take part in the event

I also just realised Elsa's birthday is on the Winter Solstice, December 21st aka the beginning of Winter! So I would love to see Elsa's birthday addressed in the series! We have Anna's birthday and now we could have Elsa's birthday! And it's a double celebration because we should have Elsa's birthday and definitely the Winter Festival.

At the expo, we should have an update about this short-form series and get a full release date. A trailer and first look with a poster is possible too if it's set to come this fall, which is just around the corner. And also the cast reveal and story synopsis.

The series will be animated like the movies and shorts. Short-form series usually, as far as I know, air in TV but I'm not sure if this will air in TV or go straight onto Disney plus.

Any other new Frozen content?

Other than the movies, Frozen 3 and 4 and the short-form series, Frozen: Winter Festival, nothing else has been leaked or confirmed at this point with regards to the franchise so I can't say what else to expect. The team are good at revealing unexpected surprises with Frozen 3's announcement than Frozen 4's and then we have doll leaks revealing an upcoming short-form series (could be accidentally on purpose) so who knows what else is in store for us. (Though I know not many of you will want to expect or have high hopes which is fair)

The series is probably there to keep us fed until we have the big meal (Frozen 3 and 4) in two years. After the series is over, we'll probably have to wait til Frozen 3 and 4 for another big Frozen content. Announcements like casting could be released in 2025, next year and trailers we'll get in 2026 if it follows the same pattern as the previous two films. But then again you never know. We never expected the series so who knows, Disney could surprise us at any time.

And that's all I believe will be announced Frozen wise as far as we know. Anything else they've got planned will also be announced unless they're saving it for a later event. If you guys are expect anything else to be announced in D23, let me know!

#disney frozen #frozen #frozen 3 #frozen 4 #frozen winter festival #d23 #wdas

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malbontesvicky · 6 days ago

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"Question - Answer" with the screenwriter of the novel "Astrea’s Broken Heart" - Elena H.

Good day, dear friends! We all know that December 31 is a magical time when you need to give gifts to your loved ones. Therefore, we have prepared a New Year's surprise for you, namely 31 answers to Elena's exciting questions. Enjoy reading🎀

1) How do you feel? Do you have a New Year's mood, and how do you plan to celebrate the New Year?

Just yesterday I was horrified that there was nothing left until the new year. I have no idea how to celebrate it. At least, I'll meet my family)

2) The finale of the second season is getting closer, and with it the finale of the novel... how do you feel?

To be honest, time flies so fast that you just don't have time to think about your feelings... The other day I passed the final chapter and it's hard for me to believe that Astra has only one season left...

3) How do you like working with Alice as the lead screenwriter of your story?

It's still great if you're about my feelings)

4) Knowing about your friendship with Alexandra SNR - does she help you write some scenes in Astra? How did your friendship come about in general?

We met Sasha when we started working on our stories at the Romance Club. I think, first of all, we have found support in each other and still find it.

Answering your second question: no, we don't help each other to write chapters) Each author does his own job)

5) If you had the opportunity to revive one character from the novel, who would it be and why?

I would revive Malek and see what will come out of it)

6) In the last interview you wrote that you have not decided on your line in Astraya... Have you chosen a favorite at the moment?

I'm afraid I still can't decide. But taking into account the fact that I should love my characters equally, I think it's for the best)

7) I would like to know how the idea of creating Astra in the Secret of Heaven universe came about? Was it your original idea or not?

Yes, of course, it was the original idea)

Astrea was created as standard, like all the stories of the romance club. First, the concept was agreed, then the disdoc and the first chapter. And then everything went too fast))

8) In what period of time do the events of Astrea take place? To "The Secret of Heaven 2" or something in between? And also what kind of place is this.. maybe modern England?

This is England, that's right) In general, there are a lot of clues in history about this. It wasn't a secret, but I still wonder how you guessed)

Alas, I can't answer your first question) But don't worry, you'll answer it yourself very soon)

9) Was the path of balance planned in history? After all, recently players have the opportunity to make a choice and get both "Skepticism" and "Faith" for it.

There is no way of balance and there will not be. This choice is just an answer.

10) How soon is it planned to close the love lines in the novel?

It's pretty soon. They won't close in the January update yet, you can still look closely. But now everything is at your own risk!)

11) And at the same time, how soon is the first sex in history planned?

Very soon!) Guess with whom?)

12) Have you thought about the possible extension of the novel to four seasons?

No, there were no such thoughts.

13) How old is Audrey?

She's about thirty.

14) What about the surname of Audrey and other characters? Or is it related to the plot? After all, so far we only know Malek's last name.

The characters' surnames have nothing to do with the plot, so there is no particular sense in their disclosure.

15) Can Audrey depend on the beast in the future? Is there an option that he will manage it?

You can find the answer to this question in the story when you go through it to the end)

16) Is a child? Or has Felonia already given us a full answer to this question?

And you can find the answer to this question in the story.

17) Do Audrey's thoughts when talking to Malek "sex without obligations?" mean that you shouldn't expect anything more with him?

As you wish. How the relationship with Malek will develop depends only on you.

18) How far are we from Fel showing us her wings?

We are close)

19) In this update, we learned that Felonia has a sister and brothers, will flashbacks from their childhood be shown? And also what kind of child is the child in the family according to Felonia?

Felonia is the oldest child. She has one sister and three brothers.

We will learn about her past in the third season.

20) How did you develop the character of Somnus and Fury? What key points inspired you to create them?

Describing Somnus, I imagined a snake. I wanted to make it dangerous and unpleasant for most people. But at the same time, to arouse sympathy from those who like snakes) I really like this character, although snakes rather scare me)

For Fury says his name) He should have become grumpy, just fury. And you definitely need to try to make him laugh - his smile is charming)

21) Can we hear any composition from Rafael? As, for example, it was with Walter's singing in "Soulless".

Unfortunately, they don't have to it yet (

22) Who was Astreia's past ally, because of whom Cassiel feels guilty and why does he feel guilty? Will it be further revealed in the plot?

Partially, the answer to this question was already in the plot. But then it will be revealed in more detail.

23) Mikael had to tell Malek about the activities of "Astrea" in exchange for help with the search for the sign of the Beast. Will it be possible to find out what exactly he told?

It's not that important. Mikael wouldn't tell really serious information)

24) Will it be possible to learn about the past of the Astrians (before their final decision to stay on earth) in colors, as were the moments of Audrey's childhood? If so, will it be available by branches or will it be available by friendship?

It's still difficult to say how exactly it will be (by branches or not), but we will definitely find out about the heroes' past.

25) How did the traumatic experience from childhood affect the main character on her adult life and her attitude to her sexuality (taking into account the constant feeling of guilt for the lack of her own ideality and integrity, which Audrey shared with Malek in the last episode of the story)?

Restrictions and imposed values have definitely imprinted on it. Her first sexual experience was accompanied by guilt, disgust, shame. For a long time it was difficult for her to accept her body, her desires. And with such attitudes it was impossible to enjoy the "forbidden fruit". Her experiments were a protest, and he didn't bring her any joy.

But the chosen profession and therapy helped her cope with it. She was able to separate her thoughts from the thoughts imposed by her father. She left his beliefs and grew new ones, only her own. But still it took a lot of time and effort.

26) In "The Secret of Heaven 2" Lilu tells about a certain Michael. Was it about our archangel or is it another character?

It's a different character, but the coincidence is funny)

27) Regarding the 72 votes in David's head - if not a spoiler, are these still the same 72 demons of Goetia called by King Solomon? How much can they influence David and did he act with their help in the sectarian village (on a sectarian village)?

I can say that he did not resort to their help in the village. We'll find out about them.

28) Will we learn more about childhood and Father David? What did his father do that he is now sitting in a cage?

Yes, of course. We'll find out for sure)

29) Can we come in and see the other guys' bedrooms? Except Rafael. It seems that it would reveal the characters even more.

I would really like that)) I hope we'll make it in time)

30) Who is the prototype of Raphael you were talking about in the end?

At the stage of writing the disdoc, thinking about Raphael, I imagined the Macedonian from the book "The House in Which", but the more I described him, the further he moved away from the prototype. Nevertheless, some of their features still have the same)

31) And finally: how do you think the Astreans would celebrate the New Year? It would be interesting to read briefly:)

I think if our Astrians didn't have so much to do, they could try to celebrate the New Year...

Michael will have a house party. He will set a chic table, ask Cassiel to help him with the decor.

Knowing the boss, David will not count on any fun, so he will entertain himself: with strong whiskey, good music and a selection of chic paired outfits for himself and Audrey.

Cassiel will escape from the holiday to the garden at some point and spend the rest of the night at the statue.

Rafael will watch with a smile David's attempts to move Michael, and at the end of the evening he will play the piano for everyone.

Felonia will go home quite early, as this holiday will remind her of her family and she will be in the mood to have fun.

#astrea’s broken heart #rc astrea’s broken heart #rc abh #rc mikael #rc cassiel #rc david #rc raphael #rc felonia #romance club

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scoonsalicious · 9 months ago

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Unwanted: Chapter 17, Unanswered - Pt. 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, Anxiety

Word Count: 612

Previously On...: Bucky missed his your check-in call.

A/N: ::Ominous music plays::

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when I update, please enable notifications from my Blog page!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Taglist: (Sadly, tag list is closed; Tumblr will not let me add anyone new. If you want to be notified when I update, please Follow me for Notifications!) @jmeelee @cazellen @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @blackhawkfanatic @buckybarnessimpp @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @marygoddessofmischief @sebastians-love @learisa @lethallyprotected @rabbitrabbit12321 @buckybarnesandmarvel @fanfictiongirl77 @calwitch @fantasyfootballchampion @selella @jackiehollanderr @wintercrows @sashaisready @missvelvetsstuff @angelbabyyy99 @keylimebeag @maybefoxysouls @vicmc624 @j23r23 @wintercrows @crist1216 @cjand10 @pattiemac1@les-sel @dottirose @winterslove1917 @harperkenobi @ivet4 @casey1-2007 @mrsevans90 @steeph-aniie @bean-bean2000 @beanbagbitch @peachiestevie @wintrsoldrluvr @shadowzena43

Tumblr will not let me directly tag the following: @marcswife21 @erelierraceala @jupiter-107 @doublejeon @hiqhkey @unaxv @brookeleclerc

You found Steve lifting weights in the training room, a group of agents, both male and female, pretending not to be transfixed with the way his muscles glistened under the strain of more weight than any normal man should be able to bench. You ignored the whispers that built up as you walked toward him, no doubt dumb gossip continuing to spread after the release of those fucking idiotic articles. You wondered briefly if you could sue the publications for slander. Or was it libel? You never remembered the difference.

This was America, right? you thought. Wasn’t litigation one of your inalienable rights under God and the Constitution and Santa Claus, or something? You made a note to talk to Legal.

Steve looked surprised to see you when you called out his name to get his attention, no doubt expecting you to avoid him like the plague, all things considered. “Hey, Pocket,” he said, a little too nonchalantly as he set down his barbell and wiped the sweat from his brow. “Don’t tell me you’ve come to ogle me, too.” He nodded toward the not-so-subtle group of agents. “I’m beginning to feel a little objectified.”

“Have you heard from Bucky?” you asked, wanting to get straight to the point. Steve looked at you for a few moments, just blinking, before you went on, your voice growing faster and more high pitched as you spoke: “I haven’t heard from him since last night, and I’ve been calling and texting him all day, but he’s not getting back to me. I never heard from him after the raid, and then after the articles… He missed our regular check-in, and I’ve been worried sick. What if something happened to him? What if–”

“Whoa, Pocket,” Steve put an arm on your shoulder, shutting you up and steadying you. “Calm down, okay? Take a breath for me.” He waited on you to do just that before he continued. “Buck’s just fine. He and Jade were successful in their objective, and they’re on their way home now. There’s nothing for you to worry about.”

His words took you by surprise. He was on his way home? “But… Why didn’t he call me back, Steve? All day, I’ve been thinking he either hates my guts because he saw those damned articles, or that he’s lying dead in some godforsaken Russian forest. And he’s just been completely fucking fine this entire time?”

“Hey,” Steve said, rubbing a hand comfortingly along your upper arm, “I’m sure he’s got a perfectly good explanation for not getting in touch,” he told you. “He radioed Communications from the Quinjet so, maybe something’s up with his phone. Don’t get worked up until you’ve talked to him, alright?”

You nodded, wanting to believe Steve’s words, wanting to let them give you comfort. “Did he say anything?” you asked him. “About the articles? Or give you a message to give to me?”

Steve shook his head. “No, I’m sorry, Pocket. He just said they’d successfully cleared their objective and they were on their way home. That’s it.”

You blinked repeatedly, not sure what to make of what Steve had just told you. The only positive thing you could take away from it was that Bucky was safe. He was safe and he was coming home. All other answers would have to wait.

“Yeah, okay,” you nodded dumbly, “thanks Steve. I appreciate it.” You turned to head back to your room, thoughts spiraling until the only thing you could coherently think was: If Bucky had been able to get in touch with Steve, it wasn’t that he was out of contact; he simply hadn’t wanted to contact you.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #james barnes

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outsideratheart · 2 years ago

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Plans (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This idea has been in my head for while but whenever it came to writing it my mind would go blank. I hope you guys like it.

To those around you your departure from Wolfsburg didn't come as a surprise but the rest of the world couldn't believe they would let you go considering the way you performed at the Euros with Germany. For you it wasn't about the money like the rest of the world assumed, you wanted to play for a team that valued you and over the last 18 months Wolfsburg hadn't done that.

You had been playing football since you were 4 years old, got your first professional contract at 16 years old and was the youngest player male or female to become the starting goalkeeper. Throughout your career you never picked up any injuries other than a niggle here and there. That was until a reckless tackle left you needing major surgery on your shoulder and put you on the side line for almost a year. Your return to the starting 11 came in the second leg of the champions league quarter final against Barcelona where you managed to keep a clean sheet and contributed heavily to giving the Spanish side their first loss of the season.

When it came to your contract negotiations you made things very clear, you were the number 1 goalkeeper. It wasn't a claim fuelled with arrogance, it was backed by facts. They had different plans, ones that didn't align with yours so you asked your manager to put some feelers out. Throughout the euros he would keep you updated and when he called to say Sandra Panos was taking an early retirement to spend more time with her family and that Barcelona was interested, you didn't think twice about it. During the summer tournament you, along with your manager, had several video calls with the Catalonian side and came to terms on a contract which pleased both you and the team. They only had one request; it had to kept a secret until Sandra made her announcement.

It's how you found yourself standing outside Joan Camper on 2nd August just two days after you lost the final. You were told to take a few days off to recover from the loss and to take some time off but you didn't want to. Losing the final in extra time was brutal and you couldn't sit around doing nothing or you would obsess over every minute detail.

"You're the new signing?"

You turn on your heels to see Ingrid walking rapidly towards you with Mapi not too far behind her.

"I cannot confirm nor deny" you briefly hugged the Norwegian before she introduced you to Mapi.

The three of you walk into the facility but you are soon pulled aside to sign your contract and make things official. The process itself is tedious, page after page requires your signature and several members of the higher ups take a photo with you. Then the part you were waiting for comes, they give you your shirt. It felt weird seeing your name on the back of anything that wasn't Wolfsburg and it fills you with a bitter sweet feeling even though you know the change was needed.

Shortly after you are led out onto the field so you can be officially introduced to the team. Many of them you had met before when representing Germany but now they were your team mates and there were a couple that had already held that title in the past. You had already seen Ingrid earlier in the morning, Frido welcomes you with open arms stating how happy she is that you're both on the same team again. There was only one person left.

"No way did they let you go" Caro shouts as she runs across the training pitch. She leaps into your arms as soon as she's close enough. Caroline is one of you best friends and you were devastated when you learnt she was leaving Wolfsburg after 6 years.

"Barely even fought for me" you whispered in her ear.

She jumped down and you can tell that she is caught aback by what you've said but she hadn't seen the way they treated you after your injury.

"I bet the girls wasn't happy"

"Not in the slightest. I had to keep it a secret until Panos announced her retirement. Svenja was the first one I told, then Poppi who isn't talking to me, not properly anyways"

After the quick catch up you watch the team train from the sidelines. You wasn't allowed to join in until you completed your medical. The team was worried about putting you to work so soon after the euros so they wanted to put you through some tests before they let you put on your gloves.

As a football fan it was amazing watching the Spanish champions train. The tika taka style is something you have always admired and to see it up close, well it filled you with excitement for the upcoming season. You see Mapi struggling to defend against Caro and you see an opportunity to gain some points with the defender.

"Mapi, come here" you call her over when they split for a drinks break. A few of the players watch as you whisper some tactics in her ear then show her the positioning your former team mate uses. When the scrimmage resumes you watch as Mapi follows your advice and stops Caro twice in a row.

When Mapi looks your way she points at you leading the Norwegian to realise what you must have told her.

"That's not fair" Caro complains.

"How did you know what she'd do?" Ana asks you.

"It's my job to know how attackers think so that I can stop them. Caro is a creature of habit and hasn't changed her style since she left Wolfsburg so it was easy" your football IQ had helped you become the player you are and it's the reason why teams did more research on you than any other goalkeeper.

"Clearly not if you couldn't stop her at Camp Nou" Pina's voice is laced with smugness.

Out the corner of your eye you can see a couple of players shaking their head, a few even burying their face in their hands.

"It's hard to do that when you’re watching from the stands Claudia" the young forward was clearly confused "I had only just been cleared by our doctor so I wasn't playing"

Pina went bright red when she realises the mistake she had made.

"Alexia's going to love playing with her. I wonder if she knew Y/N was signing with us" Marta whispers to Caro.

"I think she knew before us but not by much. Just wait until they can play together, the way their minds work will be make them dangerous. Speaking of, Y/N!" Caro shouts over to you "Have you met Alexia yet?"

"No, I heard she is coming in later for some physio so I will meet her after my physical"

The team share a look. Alexia sang your praises often and it was no secret that she admired you not only on the pitch. They wished they could be a fly on the wall for the first meeting between the two of you.

As expected you pass your medical with no issues. The cardio test is easy and even though you were fresh off a gruelling tournament you showed no signs of fatigue. The only thing they were a little cautious on was your shoulder, in the lead up the winning England goal you were taking out by a white shirt and during the ceremony you were seen holding your elbow to limit the pressure on the joint.

The physio asks if you want the TV on whilst she works. You connect your phone and play a reply of the Euros final. The doctor scoffs beside you but doesn't say anything. After the champions league they learnt the importance of understanding a loss.

You are laid on a treatment table as the physio tries her best to turn your shoulder inside out. The pain was there and it was more than you were willing to admit but you had a strict recovery routine and you didn't do it after the final so you were a little sore. The physio tells you to lay on your front so she can look at the muscle behind your shoulder. Your focus is 100% on your breathing and trying to relax, so much so that you don't hear the door open or the sound of crutches travel across the room. It is only when you hear her speaking to one of the other physios closest do you wave yours off so you can finally meet your new captain.

You wait for her to finish talking before introducing yourself, only Alexia beats you to it.

"I never thought we get the chance to play together. I'm Alexia" Alexia is quick to remove her arm from one of her crutches so that she is able to shake your hand.

“Y/N Y/L/N”

Even though it has been a month since her surgery you can tell she isn't used to her crutches so you pat the closest treatment table so she can sit down.

“Mucho gusto”

“Igualmente”

Alexia's eyes widen at your Spanish response, even more so that it sounds authentic even with your german accent.

"Surprised the German speaks Spanish” You laugh a little at her shocked response. Truth is as soon as a potential move to Barcelona got brought up you started studying the language straight away. You had welcomed many people to Wolfsburg and you told them the same thing 'learn the language and get to know to the culture'. You had been putting in the work on the first one but given this is your first day in Barcelona you hadn't had to chance to experience the second.

"Mm-hmm" she was impressed and you knew it.

“It would be ignorant of me to move to a different country and not make the effort to learn their language. I was just doing some extra physio work but i'll get out of your hair so you can start yours"

"No, no. I don't mind you been here" Alexia surprised herself by allowing you to be there when she does her rehab. Since the injury she has been keeping herself to herself but there was something about you that made her feel comfortable. Maybe it was the fact that you had been through something similar to her, you understand what it was like to be at your peak then have everything come crashing down.

Alexia gets changed into some training gear and when she re enters the room you are stood up as the doctor assesses the movement of your recently healed shoulder. Your upper body was covered in noting but a sports bra revealing your sculpted arms and toned abs.

Alexia admired the view in front of her, maybe for a little bit longer than she should have for when she meets your eyes she sees that you've caught her.

“I’m sorry, I...I" Alexia stumbles over her words and you find it adorable "I was —”

“Checking me out" you finish her sentence, smirking as you do so when you see her cheeks flush red "Don’t be embarrassed, own it. Do you want me to turn around so you can have a full look”

Alexia laughs as you walk back towards the bench as if there's a catwalk “enjoying the view from behind?” you almost shout back to her

“Yes” you turn hastily, shocked at the new confidence Alexia has "What? You said to own it"

"Touche Putellas, touche"

Alexia starts her rehab whilst you sit back on the bench wearing a compression sleeve which is hooked up to a machine to monitor the pressure. After twenty minutes she notices what is playing on the TV and he first instinct to to scold you for tourturing yourself but it would make her a hypocrite because she did the same thing after Turin.

It gets to the final ten minutes and you know what is about to come. You fists turn into balls as Chloe Kelly's shot hits the back of the net. Your eyes close for a brief moment and a single tear falls down your cheek as you do so.

"It was a handball" the soft voice brought you back to the present.

"Doesn't matter. I should have been better" you couldn't bring yourself to look at Alexia.

"It's not on you Y/N" Alexia tries to console you but she knew nothing would take away the sting of losing such an important game "I know it's easy to blame yourself when your team loses but a loss cannot be placed on one person's shoulders"

"Especially if that person isn't able to play" you knew that you might be pushing the boundaries of your friendship which was formed not even an hour ago but you knew she needed to hear it.

"It's that obvious" you send her a look that says yes "It's hard not to think what would've happened if I could have played but i'm coming to term with this" she point to her knee showing that she was starting to accept her injury.

"I don't know if this will help but I knew we would beat you before the Euros even started. After the Italy game I saw your team's weak spot. Your number 10 Hermoso"

You see Alexia wince at the mention of her former team mate and ex girlfriend.

"I take your face as confirmation that the rumours were true" Alexia nods her head "Ok well back to what I was saying. Hermoso played a bigger role than your team realised and you couldn't replace her, it was obvious you were still experimenting when the Euros started. So let's say you were healthy because I worked really hard to build what we called an APS, Alexia Putellas--

"Segura?"

"Close but the S stood for strategy, the Alexia Putellas Strategy. I worked with Lena Oberdorf for months perfecting it and I am confident when I say she would have made your job incredibly difficult when we played each other"

"I guess there's only one way to find out" Alexia says as she continues her rehab. The thought of playing against you and seeing this APS in person gave her a little bit of extra motivation.

It is almost an hour later when Alexia is done and although you finished over 45 minutes ago you didn't want to leave. You were enjoying getting to know your new team mate with it been just the two of you. The first few questions revolved around your career, after that you refused to talk shop, normal question only. You discussed everything from top 5 movies of all time to favourite Christmas memory. Without knowing it you had both put each other on pedestals and this time alone together made you both human.

Before going home you had to get your new training clothes from the locker room. When you leave the building you see Alexia sitting on a bench typing furiously on her phone.

"Is everything ok?" you ask the midfielder.

"My sister is suppose to be picking me up and now I can't get a hold of her"

You hear her leave a voicemail for who you can only guess is her sister. The way she furiously speaks leaves you no chance of understanding what she said.

"That wasn't Spanish"

"Catalonian"

"I'll add it to my list" you joke.

Alexia is clearly stressed out about the situation and it leaves you no choice but to be her knight is shinning armour.

"Calm down" you place you hand over her phone screen "If you want I can take you home"

"To my mum's"

"Ok, let's go" You take her bag before she can argue and lead her to where you've parked.

Once in the car you give Alexia your phone so she can pick the music. The drive to her mum's is done in comfortable silence, the only sound was Spanish music and Alexia's instructions. You pull up outside, get her crutches and bag from the boot before helping her of the car and following her to the front door. The path isn't exactly even so you are cautious of every step she takes. Her mum, having not recognised the car outside her house, meets you both at the door.

"Querida, I thought Alba was picking you up" She takes the bag from you.

"Me too but she never showed"

Alexia's mum stays in the door way with you and Alexia on the other side of the threshold. It's almost like Alexia doesn't want the day to end as much as you do.

"Are you going to introduce me to your new friend?"

"Mum, this is Y/N Y/L/N our new goalkeeper. She played for Germany and she used to play for Wolfsburg"

"I thought she looked familiar. She's the one you couldn't stop talking about the other night when we watched the final. Sorry about the result Carino"

You still didn't like the pity in people's eyes when the give you their condolences for the loss. It is something that Alexia is quick to pick up on.

"Y/N this is my mum Eli Putellas Segura"

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs Putellas or is it Segura" the panic in your tone is small but it's heard by the two Putellas women.

"You can call me Eli. Thank you for driving my daughter home. Would you like to come in for a drink?"

Truth is you would love to but you had already made plans.

"Maybe another time. Ingrid is letting me stay with her for the next fews day and in return I agreed to cook dinner"

"Did the club not help you find an apartment?" Alexia asks, her eyebrow slightly crooked as frustration grows within her.

"They did but for obvious reasons they didn't expect me to be in Barcelona so soon. Something about taking some time off" you joke.

"And you wanted to get back to work" Alexia understands you completely.

"See, you get it. If only everybody did instead of worrying about me" you laugh off your wish.

Eli watches the two of you go back and forth for a few more minutes. She couldn't believe you had only ever met on the pitch because the sight before her looks more like a reunion between old friends than a scene between two people who only got introduced today.

Both mother and daughter stand by the door as they watch you get back into your car.

"So what's going on between you two then?" Eli wasn't blind and the connection that was slowly forming between you and Alexia was clear to anyone with eyes.

"I don't know. She will be good for the team though"

"And for you. I haven't seen you smile like that since you came back from England"

"She understands what I'm going through" Alexia's reply was short and sweet.

Over the next few months you continued your rehab sessions even though you were fully cleared. You even coincided your sessions with Alexia's when possible so that you could spend as much time with her . You even took part in her workouts on top of your own. It was exhausting but totally worth it.

You suggested that the club invest in a reflex grid, it was made up of several shapes connect by ropes. Every time the ball hit a shape, it would send it in a different direction. Some nights you would stay behind with the goalkeeper coach to do some extra practices using your new toy. Alexia would watch from the window of the treatment room and even came outside to watch you train. The team saw the way you brought out the old side of Alexia, the one they feared went away when she had her surgery. They wanted to know if anything was going on but your former Wolfsburg team mates told them that you were a very private person and given that Alexia is in the middle of rehabbing her knee, you most likely wouldn't have made a move.

It was after one of those late night sessions that Alexia joined you on the pitch. She hadn’t done it much because she hated being on the grass and not being able to lace up her boots. You were tidying up when you saw her walking over.

“You looked like you were having fun?” Alexia helps you put the balls back in the bag. You can see her thinking about doing something with it but ultimately decides against it.

“Don’t be sad Alexia, you’ll be the one taking shots at me before you know it. As for me having fun I was. I saw you watching, did you enjoy the show?” You judged her slightly.

“I’m gay” she blurts out.

When you turn to face Alexia you see her stood a few meters behind you. Clearly she stopped walking and you didn’t realise.

“I’m honoured that your feel comfortable enough to share this information, I really am but you’ve got to know by now that I already knew this”

“Then why haven’t you made a move? We have been flirting for months, I spend more time with you than anyone else yet you haven’t asked me out. Why? Is it because I’m broken?” She points to her knee. Even now she was still coming to terms with her injury and it caused her confidence to take a huge hit.

You walk back to where she was standing. She has no idea how difficult it was for you to respect where she is in her life.

“Alexia” you take a hold of her hand “I like you more than I have anyone in a very long time. You’re beautiful, strong and when I was at my lowest you put me back together when you had your own issues to focus on. I would love nothing more than to take you out for dinner but right now you have to focus on your recovery. Trust me when I say I have plans for us once you're back on the pitch”

“You do?” Alexia asks in disbelief.

With a simple nod of your head a huge grin appears on her face.

“So right now I won't act on my feelings. Instead I will stay by your side and be there in whichever way possible"

"Vale" the way Alexia smiles and how it reaches her eyes gives you an incredible feeling. Then again everything she did had you feeling a certain type of way, you couldn't quite put a finger on what it was but in a time were things were new and uncertain she brought you peace.

It was the right thing to do yet you regretted your decision of not pursuing Alexia every time you were near her. Since the night you admitted your plans the energy between the two of you changed and when you were in a room together the tension was heavy and obvious to anyone who took a few seconds to watch you both.

It was during media day when the team really saw the connection between the two of you. The morning was spent doing interviews and the afternoon was spent taking photos for social media and the team website. The last set of photos to be taken was of the team wearing a new limited edition kit. At first everything was normal but when it came to Alexia's turn you could sense something was off. You knew she hated getting her photo taken especially when it was this staged but it was something deeper than that. You watched as she shakily tied her boots and re-adusted her socks for the umpteenth time. It is only when you see her staring at her knee do you understand what's going on.

"Give us the room" you tell the other players.

Many of them argue that they need to get changed too but quite frankly you don't care. Even when the women around you try to get your attention you don't take your eyes of Alexia whose own begin to well up ever so slightly as she gets more and more overwhelmed.

"Now!" you raise your voice this time and it doesn't come as a surprise when the team do as they're told.

As soon as they leave you close the door behind them and lock it. When you turn around you see Alexia's hands shaking as she once again adjusts her socks.

"Talk to me Ale"

You crouch down so that you can see her. Her hands tremble as you hold them tightly.

"My socks won't cover it"

Many people didn't understood the psychological affect scars had and the visible ones took a knock to your confidence that was difficult to overcome. You knew this feeling all two well but it's the first time you see Alexia struggling with the reminder of her surgery.

“Every scar tells a story. This one, if I remember correctly” you point the scar on her right index finger “tells me you're not as skilled in the kitchen as you are on the pitch” Alexia sniffled as a small chuckle escapes her mouth “and this one” you place your hand just above her knee not wanting to overstep her boundaries, she nods her head letting you know it’s ok for you to touch it.

Alexia's breath hitches slightly as you stroke over the reminder of her ACL surgery. The goosebumps that form on her legs let you know the affect your touch has on her but now isn't to time to tease.

“This one tells the story of a strong women who was given the option to give up but she chose to fight. It tells me that even when she wanted to give up she kept going. It shows bravery and resilience” despite a voice telling you not to, you place a gentle kiss on her knee.

"It reminds me that I'm broken" Alexia tries to swallow the ball of emotion that is rising the the surface.

This side of Alexia is one that you have gotten to known well over the past few months but it seems like this time the pain runs deeper than before. She had been cleared to train on the pitch starting next week but the scar on her knee is a constant reminder of how quickly things can change.

"You're not broken Alexia and you should wear that scar with pride"

"Like you do yours?" she is quick to respond and it's clear she is trying to pick a fight because it means you won't talk about her scar anymore.

You quickly take off your shirt and chuck it aside revealing three scars on your left shoulder. She trails her thumb along each scar in a similar motion to what you did only minutes ago.

"Happy?" you raise your eyebrows as you hope to have satisfied the woman in front of you.

"You hide your scars Y/N and you can't say you don't. You swapped shirts with Lola when we played Atleti but you waited until you were in the tunnel so that nobody saw you without a shirt on"

"Maybe I just didn't want you to be jealous when people start ogling my sculpted physique"

"Y/N I'm being serious. I've used you as inspiration for my recovery. You worked hard, got your spot back on the team and lead your to country to the Euros final"

You groan slightly as she mentions the final. It was still a sore subject and she knew it.

"I know you don't like talking about it but you should. You worked your way back to a major tournament, it's something I hope to do as well. Don't you see that you are telling me not to be ashamed of my scar when you are of yours"

Alexia was right, she knew it and you did too. Your team mates, past and present, would consider you a great leader and the reason for that is because you would never ask them to do something you wouldn't do yet this exactly what you are asking of Alexia.

An idea comes to mind. You may not be the captain of this team but you still have to lead by example and that it exactly what you planned on doing.

"Come with me" you hold you hand out and Alexia takes it happily.

Your entrance to the other room gains the attention of the rest of the team. You aren't wearing a shirt and Alexia is holding your hand.

"I'll show them mine if you show them yours, ok?" you ask Alexia who hesitantly nods her head.

You ask a member of the staff for a pair of scissors and ignore the questions coming from your team mates and the co-ordinator of the photoshoot who is reminding you that there is only one goalkeeper shirt. A few gasps can be heard when you cut the sleeves off your shirt.

"Y/N! What are you doing?" someone tries to stop you but they are too late.

"Time to show the world that injuries do not define you and your scars are not something you have to hide"

You see Alexia smiling ear to ear when she realises what you are doing. After putting on your goalkeeper gloves, you grab and ball, hold it forward and turn slightly so that you scars are fully exposed. The photographer begins taking photos immediately and is loving your new found confidence.

"I want to do it too" Mapi shouts before taking her shirt off and cutting the sleeves.

You can see a staff member glaring at you but you can only mouth an apology. You ruining the kit was one thing but now there were two shirts which were now made of less material than the others.

Alexia watches you mess around with Mapi. She knows that you have done this for her but she still isn't sure. A couple of the other players join you in taking less than professional photos but it sums up the team perfectly; a group of a people who mess around together and enjoy each others company.

"Alexia" you sing and she saunters over to you.

Doubt still lingers in her eye but you reassure her that it will be ok and she believes you. She pulls her sock down revealing the full length of her scar.

"Beautiful" you lower your tone so that only she can hear you.

Upon request, you and Alexia pose for a few photos together. You're favourite is the one where you are down on one knee pretending to shine Alexia's boot. It was the perfect shot as it showed both her scar and yours.

She cannot be sure if its the vulnerability she is feeling or the fact that you have once again gone out of your way to make her feel better that causes her to do what she does next. She wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you close. The proximity in which you faces are is the biggest challenge you've faced yet. Every part of you is yearning to feel her lips on yours but you somehow show restraint. Alexia on the other hand doesn't care for such thing.

You could hear a pin drop when she leans in to kiss you just on the corner of your mouth. It is the quickest kiss you have ever experienced and leaves you frozen in place. Did she really just do that in front of the team?

"Thank you Y/N"

She walks away without saying another word. If she were to turn around you would the smugness of her face. After finding out you wanted to pursue something more with her, Alexia bided her time, waiting to strike. Her injury made her feel helpless but she needed to she you just how daring she can be.

"Scheiße" you run your fingers through your hair as you try to bury the desire to go after the Catalonian and finish what she started.

"How's that will power now?" Caro teased you.

In that moment you regretted confiding in the Norwegian about your feelings for the captain.

"On the verge of being non existent"

"Can we get some cold water for the keeper please" Mapi jokes.

Since that day Alexia wasted no opportunity she had to tease and rile you up. It's as if coming to terms with her scar was the last thing on her list, other than her first game but that was coming soon. She had been given the clear the start training with the ball and when it came to set pieces and ball in motion training she requested that you be in goal because she knew you wouldn't takei it easy on her and that she would have to earn a goal with you in between the sticks.

Weeks pass and soon enough it is Alexia's first game back. The way the crowd erupts as she enters the pitch at the 67th minute is enough to make goosebumps rise to the surface of your skin. It showed just how much this club loves her and seeing a stray tear fall down her cheek shows you what the club means to her.

When the final whistle is blown the team waste no time in celebrating the return of their captain but you choose to observe from a distance. You were still new to the team and you didn't want to intrude on a moment between family because that's what this team was.

As Alexia walks towards you she has a huge smile on her face and you know exactly what she is feeling. Even the way she walked was different, it's almost as if she was lighter.

You open your arms out expecting a short hug but Alexia's arms tighten around you and you feel her tears fall down your neck.

"It's ok, let it out"

She takes a few moment to gather her emotions and with a deep breathe she pulls away to face you.

"I'm back on the pitch. You know what this means"

Of course you did. you haven't been able to think about anything else since the team got told about Alexia's return game.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at 6"

"That's it?" you knew alexia had a need for control and her knowing only when you'll pick her up sent her inner control freak into panic.

"That's all you need to know for now"

The two of you do a lap around El Johan as you take up the atmosphere. It truly was like nothing else you've experienced before, the support of the fans was unmatched. In the past few months you surprised yourself at the amount of restraint you showed Alexia but in this moment it was worth it. She was fit, healthy and back doing the thing she loved.

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