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mad-hunts · 8 months ago

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details about ocs! // 🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits? (and/or) 🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favourite food(s)?

ASK MEME - details about oc's!

hello, hello, @oculusxcaro! i really appreciate you sending me this meme through my inbox — allow me to first address three of barton's more neutral / questionable traits. so, this may not be a surprise, but barton is definitely a bit... eccentric. i mean, especially to outsiders who do not know the true inner workings of his 'family business,' as he does actually make normal dolls as well. and so he does live up to his moniker ( the dollmaker ) in more ways than one. as to why barton makes actual dolls as well as his more twisted creations, part of it is because the cloth dolls seem to serve a role in his grotesque dollmaking: he came up with the idea to insert hidden messages in these dolls with information about the main victim that the prospective cloth doll is 'modeling,' so to speak ( so they'd essentially be a carbon copy of the doll he made using a real person, except while they were alive ) because some of his clients started to express a desire to feel more connected with the 'doll.' and he thought this would be a good way to keep their business. though, now he does it for everyone who purchases a ' doll. ' which is absolutely horrifying to think about, of course, but barton has also taken to creating cloth and / or different kinds of dolls as a hobby since winslow ( his surrogate father ) was a toymaker and it reminds him of the man.

plus, winslow was the person to teach him everything he knows regarding how to make the dolls in the first place, so he feels somewhat guilty for just using them for his own... less than savory purposes. but yeah, that is one way that barton is eccentic, and another would be that he can be surprisingly playful sometimes. however, if you are a stranger or if he doesn't know you very well in general, you aren't very likely to see this side of him. his playful / teasing side is mostly reserved for his closer friends, his family members and his romantic partner. like, just imagine the kind of playfulness that comes with completely catching someone off guard by suddenly saying ' trust fall ' out of absolute NOWHERE and letting yourself fall backwards, which leads the other person into a state of panic but then barton catching himself at the last moment. and him being like, ' ahhh, you really thought i was gonna fall back in hopes you would catch me only so i can crack my head open, didn't you? i wouldn't do that. i mean, look at those stick arms. we're gonna have to start calling you skelly if you don't get any meat on those. ' ( lol... )

so, there's no malice behind it, he really just jokes around with the people in his more tight-knit circle sometimes. as for what i'd say a second neutral trait of his is, is that he's a very ambitious person. barton strived for nothing less than A's and maybe the occasional one or two B's whenever it came to high school because he wanted to get into the best medical school that he could in the future — and this carried on into his premed years, though he might've suffered from an extreme case of burnout because of this during his junior year. this was also around the time that his past girlfriend, auriel, disappeared however. so that kind of added onto the situation and made it worse. anyhow, barton has always tried to strive to be the best at his job, despite it being completely wrong morally and has grown somewhat of a reputation with gotham's underground for being one of the best people to go to if you can't go to the hospital ( either because you have committed a crime or a myriad of other reasons ) , but you still want top-quality medical care.

thirdly, and last but certainly not least, is the fact that barton is bold. he is the kind of person in which, if someone tells him not to do something in a bad situation because it's too dangerous or what have you, that he will do it anyway. and despite him generally not being a good father as a rule, he has demonstrated a desire to protect his children over all else in a few situations. which is a rather fearless thing to do when you're being held at gunpoint or outnumbered. his former boss, in particular, had wanted to kill one of his children as punishment for trying to leave him but barton said ' nope, that's not happening, ' and hopped right in front of them. needless to say, they both ended up getting out of that situation alive, but yeah.

another way in which barton is bold is he will stand up to people if they try to hurt his friends and although his definition of friends is... a bit different than normal, to say the least. and this is because barton can very well feel cognitive empathy towards them even if he has difficulty with empathizing with them on an emotional level. once again, it just kind of depends on how close you are to him, but barton has this funny way of appearing as if he doesn't care about someone at all but will turn around and scare off any people who attempt to torment certain people in his life. but anyhow... i'm getting a bit off-track here. i hope this was very informative as to what some of barton's neutral traits are!

#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#barton is so complicated though as a person like jsjsj #slow down and let people try to gain a better understanding of who you ACTUALLY are please.#because although he is not kind he is also not entirely evil. he has... some neutral traits about him as described above

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flyawaybird444 · 10 days ago

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𝒲𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝒞𝑜𝓏𝓎 𝐿𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒞𝑜𝓇𝓃𝑒𝓇

Dear Reader,

I’m thrilled to see that you’ve stumbled upon my corner of the world wide web! Here’s some information about me to help you get started on your journey, a little introduction if you will:

I’m a 20 year old stay at home mom of two, my pronouns are she/her, I am pansexual (married to a cis man) and I am on the autism spectrum. I like reading books when I have time, listening to and discovering new music, cooking, baking, crafty lil things like crochet and jigsaw puzzles, shopping, Korean skin care products, getting piercings, matcha the loml😩, and spending time outdoors.

I’m a very open book, though it takes a while to learn and read me, I implore you to try! My inbox is always open and i love making new friends, especially in online spaces. In my physical world and personal life, my social circle is relatively small and close knit, but often i am either the oldest, or at the very least, i come off as the oldest- which may be due my mother’s instinct- having children transforms you into a natural caregiver.😆

I am a non-judgmental person, my MBTI type is INFJ, which I was in denial about for a long time- I didn’t want to be one of those people that sounds braggy about their type being rare, lmfao. I actually took the test so many times to double check, and consistently received the same results over and over, to the point where i sent my mother and my husband the link to have them answer the questions from their own perspective of me. Both of their tests still resulted in INFJ. I still question it to this day. 😭

I voted blue this election, and my husband did as well, because his mother raised him a democrat and feminist like the queen she is. We’re both huge advocates for human rights and environmentalism, and I’m raising my children to love people and seek peace, equality, and justice always. I cried many nights in a row following the election results, and I’m doing everything I can to reach out and remind those around me that no matter their race, sexuality, gender identity or religion, they are safe and free to express themselves in my presence. I say all of this to serve as a reminder that you, no matter who you are and who you love, are welcome and safe here in my little corner!

I encourage everyone who stumbles upon this blog to stay a while, enjoy your time and never feel rushed, spam like my posts, flood my inbox, send me song recommendations, show me things you’ve created, books you’ve read, tell me what’s troubling you, seek advice or comfort, or whatever you need here. Let this be your internet hideaway, your home away from home. Sit down, have some tea, and enjoy your time. I will never be inconvenienced by any of you, I’d never turn you away. 💚

I hope everything you come here seeking, you find, and i hope to meet you here again and again,

Yours truly, G

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theneighborhoodwatch · 2 years ago

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an update

apologies for any erratic or otherwise concerning behavior on my part that you may have noticed, neighbors! i won't get into the gritty details, but as it turns out, i May have been experiencing a nervous breakdown over these past few weeks. not because of welcome home, mind you. it was a number of things in my personal life, and i've been feeling much better since i've been finally able to address it - but it has made me Reevaluate a few things wrt how i've been going about things here, so i'll be going over those in a quick little numbered list under the cut:

i am no longer running or even in the discord server. one of the moderators, @/doctorcottonghost, offered to take it off my hands, and i accepted. ergo, i will no longer be able to answer any questions about whether or not invites or open.

in a similar vein, i've removed the "community areas" section on my links page. i do not think it was doing me any favors to be Constantly Aware of these large swathes of people. if you came from r/WelcomeHomeNeighbor, however, you are still free to peruse my observation document and send in questions/findings/etc. once my inbox opens back up (and do see if they need more mods over there!)

i do not plan on abandoning the observation document! i will still update it to the best of my ability as each update comes. i love archiving/cataloguing/etc., so it's a source of great joy in my life (and i really need to move the backup links section to its own page, anyway. it's been hard to find time for it since my computer broke.)

more of a reminder than an update, and i'm aware that i have no Actual control over people's actions, but i'll restate this in no uncertain terms for anyone who cares (at the risk of looking like a bit of a kiss-ass): please do keep clown's boundaries in mind - TL;DR: no public nsfw, no merch. both of these are subject to change in the future. that's it. do not exaggerate, do not try to find loopholes, and for the love of god, do not threaten people into following these boundaries or spread misinformation just to make it seem like you have a point. if you see someone continue to ignore these boundaries while they are still up - or even your own personal ones! - after being informed of them, be a goddamn adult, use the goddamn block button, and don't give them any more of your time or attention. (and probably report them, if we're talking about merch.)

i may need more time before i open my inbox back up. i haven't been in quite the right State of Mind for deep speculation, so i want to get through the more lighthearted stuff first before working my way up to those. once i've cleared everything out, i'll probably open my inbox back up - but anon may stay off for some time.

and i think that's everything! now i am going to have a nice big dinner and then i'll come back and Attempt to answer some asks. i've also taken down my more mopey posts from the past 2 days, so i don't clog this blog. have a nice evenin'.

#public notice #i'd tag this with soapboxing but eh. it's only one part of this post

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abybweisse · 2 years ago

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Hello! How are you doing?

As you have problably noticed with the barrage of likes, I have been reading your content and I came across a reply to one of your answers where you stated you believed that Undie killed himself with fire which I never heard before (I do know of the theory that he drowned himself)... I was wondering if you still think this (as I recall this was an older post) and what made you think it? I am so sorry if you already explained this, I'm trying to read all your wonderful, informative posts but I couldn't wait to ask (I assume it will take me a while to read them all and I love interacting with you 😅)

Also, how do we interact with Undie on here? Do we just ask him a question? Is there any rules/etiquette to follow? (I really mean it when I say I love your blog and want to interact more)

Thank you as always and have a great day/night

If my inbox is open, anyone can send Undertaker or Othello an rp prompt. The rules, as such, are pretty basic. Honestly, I'm not sure what my rules are. Maybe... nothing too graphic? Nothing too NSFW.

Death by fire?

There are some posts about this because others have asked about the suicide by fire idea. I still have a theory that he might have killed himself with fire. Either he set himself on fire out of protest, or perhaps he ran into a burning building to die with a loved one he couldn't save.

The main pieces of "evidence" I have for it are:

He keeps those biscuits in a cremation urn, despite the fact that cremation was not a common practice in Victorian England. The most common thing to do was save as much money as possible during your life to afford a full funeral and burial service. Open casket was preferred (if the remains were intact enough). People even got insurance policies for their funerals back then; that's pretty much how insurance first became a common practice. The burning death theory suggests he keeps the urn as a reminder of some kind; if the reaper rebirth theory also turns out to be true, that urn might even contain some of his original remains. 🤯

He not only cries over Vincent's death but comments how particularly bad it is to be burned to ashes. Sure, that meant Undertaker couldn't turn Vincent into a Bizarre Doll, but there might be more to it... some aspect of the burning that's more personal to Undertaker. Vincent actually died before he was set on fire, but idk if Undertaker knows this. He might know what it's like to die by fire and assumes his son Vincent experienced it, too.

When reapers show up, they tend to do things that give possible clues about their suicide methods. Like...

William first appears on top of a tall building and jumps down. I theorize that he suicided by jumping.

Grelle has been shown doing a "dead man's float" and has been compared to Ophelia (at least in the anime) and the original Little Mermaid (who jumps off a boat to die). So, I think Grelle died by drowning.

Ronald also has to be fished out of the sea by William, but the thing that really got my attention was the knife he carries and the wristwatch he shows off during the Campania arc. I suspect Ronald slashed his wrists, perhaps in a bathtub. That's a really old trope. Sometimes this is called a "Roman Bath", and it reminds me of Grelle trying to get William to go to the baths in Baden-Baden. It's at a bath house in Bath where Blavat bleeds those renal patients dry, too, come to think of it. And Grelle is the one who's actually collecting their souls. 🤔 However, I see Grelle as more of the "go jump from the cliffs or off a boat into the sea" kind of person. Maybe even the "weigh yourself down and walk right out to sea" kind of person. But Ronald? He's more likely the kind to try and slash his arteries because he thinks it'll be fast and easy... and finds out the hard way it's neither of those things.

Even Sascha, who we know hanged themself, seems to go everywhere with that camera (with the strap hanging around their neck). And when Ludger is talking to Sascha, just to see that Sascha had moved away from him, Sascha was sitting on a high-up tree branch... the sort of place one might hang themself from.

Not only does Undertaker keep that urn around and cry about Vincent burning to ashes, but we've also seen Undertaker walk right into a burning building (to collect real Ciel's body). If reapers keep doing things that are reminiscent of their own suicides, then this would be a strong indication about the method he used.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #undertaker #tw: sui mention #tw: suicide mention #reapers #grim reapers #reaper rebirth #reaper rebirth theory #methods #cafeguaba blog #asks #i answer #answered asks #jan 13 2023

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northwest-cryptid · 7 months ago

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why do you have so many haters

Because I yap, honestly.

I say a lot of shit, speak my mind on things; sometimes it's because I think those things matter. Regardless, whenever you talk about anything passionately and you actually take a side in what's being said; you're going to end up with two kinds of people. You're going to have people who agree with you, or who understand what you're saying. Typically these people become your followers or potentially mutuals. I'm not saying that I do it because of this, but this is an inevitable byproduct. However the other kind of person are the people who disagree with you.

Now in an ideal world people who disagree with me could actually explain why they do so, what about what I said may be wrong; maybe even teach me something or show me where I'm lacking information. Then if there is a real error in my words I may correct it going forward and be better educated about the things I actually think matter.

However we sadly do not live in this ideal world, so the people who think I am wrong, or who disagree with me, or who believe I'm a morally bad person for whatever reason (reasons I will not know because they do not tell me). Tend to take more to writing things like how I should kill myself, or that I'm a waste of oxygen, or asking me if I'm autistic (which I am so that's funny).

If you speak up, and you say your thoughts plainly without any kind of filter someone is going to notice when those thoughts pertain to something they are personally invested in. If I say "there's a boycott on Limbus Company and I'm still doing it because the company has yet to correct their sexist behavior and treatment of employees." I will inevitably get a good 5 - 6 inbox anons saying how "some people are too invested in these characters, I'm attached to my blorbo and you are trying to manipulate me by reminding me that there's a boycott that I'm not participating in." I know that sounds like one of those exaggerations where you think "no one ACTUALLY talks like that right?" But no this is a normal occurrence for me. Though to be honest, they almost NEVER include that much context. Typically it's just enough to know roughly which post brought them to me. Like someone might only get out the words "you don't have to be such a dick about the boycott, not all of us can afford to do that!" Which may be prefaced or concluded with some form of "fuck you" "kys" "you were a mistake" though typically the core messages if there is any, seemed to be curtained between both a preface and conclusion of sorts.

I normally get messages regarding Genshin Impact, though sometimes it's just racism towards being Native and speaking up about it.

I have also gotten hate when I had to make a post about needing help with the bills. Which was cool because the part they didn't like was that I mentioned I wasn't going to use buzz words. Apparently that's ableist and bigoted they failed to explain why or how of course. But you know why I included that? Because honestly, I feel like people more or less don't need to be guilted into helping you and it REALLY does feel more like guilt than trying to give me a reason. If you have to open a donations post with "hey I'm a PoC, Queer, [Literally any pronouns]," before you get to the part that matters, which is normally like you know; you losing your housing situation, or not being able to afford to eat; it's just a little off putting. Like don't get me wrong, I too am a queer PoC with literally any pronouns (that's a little enbie joke because it's 6 AM and I'm too high right now.) Like all I was saying is, if you're going to donate to help someone out, it's probably because you genuinely want to help another human being, be it for mutual aid reasons or just charity. I don't donate money to someone's cause just because they're a specific combination of buzzwords that I have sympathy for or something. I donate to people because they're going to lose their house, or they can't eat, or they're in need of some kind of financial help and I've been there before. You don't need to tell me more than that, if you want to give me a reason like "I'm disabled and I don't get disability yet, but I literally cannot work a job." That makes enough sense to me sure, but shouldn't that go after the whole "hey I'm losing my house because I can't pay the bills" thing?! It's not like this is just one or two posts, it's literally every time people need money. I understand it's trying to earn sympathy with specific groups, if you're queer and I'm queer we already have something in common, you're helping a fellow queer. Side note: I hope that word isn't offending anyone, been seeing that going around now that some people want to stop using the word queer or something. Please do understand that's the word I've been using for years and that I've basically been told is the most inclusive way to say it, so I don't mean any ill intentions.

Regardless, this actually serves as a great example, there now exist 2 things within this last paragraph that someone may take offense to; and the track record has been that rather than educate me on the problem they see me making; they'd rather just tell me I'm stupid, some kind of phobic, or just tell me to end my life.

Hell I've even been told it's manipulative and abusive to put "the responsibility of educating you" on someone else. So apparently if I ask someone to please educate me on an important matter, whether it's a term/acronym, or something I don't have all the facts for. I'm in the wrong enough to get hate over it. I have a lot of drafts that were just kind of venting about the hate but I made sure to you know, save them to drafts because I find that if I post about getting hate I typically get more hate, go figure people like to dogpile.

I literally got an ask once, I'm pretty sure it was just a joke but I didn't care for it, when I had spoken out about getting a lot of hate instead of people actually you know, explaining the problem to me. I literally got a message that just said "Fuck you, I don't know why yet but I heard we're all hating on you this week." Which felt like it was too comical to be a genuine attempt at hate so I just kind of deleted it and moved on because I'm honestly so done with hate at this point.

Being opinionated online, no matter what your opinion is; will always stir up to kinds of people. That's the nature of taking a side, suddenly you become the "them" to someone else's "us vs them" and you become a larger target when you speak up a lot, on a lot of posts, about a lot of things; and some of those posts get really popular.

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mack3030 · 2 years ago

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In regards to the list, in my mind, it was simply a way to compile all the information about what each creator was doing in regards to the new policy (keeping in mind that at the time, we were operating under the assumption that early access wasn't allowed) so that we as consumers could make an informed choice about who to support. It wasn't revealing any private information, nor was it outright saying you shouldn't support this person because they were doing early access, it was just giving you the information that you could use to make a decision which has been done in other communities.

Yep. My question would be…why would you be protesting someone openly talking about what you PUBLICLY chose?

Also, since these “creators” wanna act like businesses, may I remind them…Businesses sometimes get disgruntled people who don’t agree with every decision made. Hell, that’s part of being a human. Not everyone will agree with you. That’s why block buttons exist and anons can be turned off.

But to demonize a list made to inform people so they could choose who to support based on their personal beliefs? That alone shows you don’t care about what is best for the people of this community. Because if you did you’d want them to have the choice to choose who they agreed with, even if it wasn’t you. 🫤

My suspicion is that some creators hoped their decisions could be quiet and under the radar so they wouldn’t get backlash for pretending to not understand or going on with business. But with this person displaying that publicly, it opened them up to people seeing their true values. Kinda like how in the U.S you can see how a member of Congress has voted on a bill.

And for some folks that was uncomfortable because for the longest time they could keep their true feelings of entitlement and “holier than thou” under wraps, because business as usual was occurring and they didn’t have to make many decisions.

Throw in a big moral decision and some passed the vibe check by following the new rules, not giving out sob stories trying to explain why THEY deserved your support more than other creators (tbh this part always felt kinda slimy because like why are we having a suffering contest?), and being transparent if they had restrictions that kept them from having backup plans.

Others…not so much. Tantrums, holier than thou posts about how they deserved support, posts questioning a really obvious statement pretending to have no reading comprehension (and even worse, believing that we’d fall for it) and more.

So instead of blaming themselves for their own choices, they’re blaming the list for exposing them. They’re blaming people who disagree with them. Like I do have no doubt there probably WERE some nasty simmers in people’s inboxes. However I say again, that is what the block and anons off buttons are for.

I’ve dealt with people bullying me and disagreeing with me and I don’t even make content! And that’s how I handle them. But I think the ACTUALLY hateful people were probably less than folks think and a lot of these creators were interpreting people’s real concerns and disagreements with their choices as hate. Because most have been darlings in the spotlight for so long, with no major issues that they weren’t used to it.

Now, if I had advice for those folks, here’s what it would be. (Assuming they’d listen.)

I would ask yourself a few questions:

1) What/who am I honestly making CC for?

2) Does this energize me, or drain me?

3) Do I see my patrons as part of the community, or fans, or just people that pay me?

4) If I were to go to donations only, what is the absolute WORST that could happen, and could I live with that?

5) Do I trust my ability and the community enough to believe that I would have enough patrons to be comfortable if I made giving me money optional?

6) Am I treating this as an enjoyable hobby I get to make a little spare coin off of, or as a business that has to make me a certain amount?

7) Does being a “creator” with set expectations and money attached enhance or dull my creativity?

8) Do I need to readjust my view of CC making to be more healthy for me and the community?

9) What does a patron/creator relationship look like? Could it exist without paywalling items? What other incentives could I offer instead?

After you’ve asked yourself those things and been honest, I think you might be able to figure out where to go from there.

Because this community is really forgiving most of the time, as long as you own up to your mistakes. I honestly think if some folks owned up to the fact they got a little too engrossed and hooked into the hustle…most would forgive ‘em. But the key is admitting it.

#asks #sims 4

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thecirculararchive · 3 years ago

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A Farewell For Now

Hello All! I've been working on this final post for a little bit, and well. I think I'm ready today. It's why I cleared out my inbox so much, and why I have been so distant (which was a really good, healthy experience for me actually).

But I'm not ready to leave syscourse fully. I still have a lot to say about it. So, here it is - my big, final post.

For those not interested in my big long post, but wondering what's next for me, I'll be making a short post soon mentioning everything. I just want to get this out of the way.

This post started as a retelling of my experiences leaving radically inclusive pro-endogenic spaces. However, as I was writing it, it became more just… a trip down memory lane (lol, puns). It’s opened my eyes a lot to who I used to be, who I recently was, and who I want to be soon.

While this is tagged as syscourse, I would appreciate it if you left debates off this post. You’re welcome to reblog and interact, but I want to remind everyone that this is my personal experience. Any general statements about behavior are directed at people I had interaction with.

TW ahead for... yikes. Everything? Yeah. Just a generalized TW here for all of the content on my blog for the past 5 years.

I think it’s most important to start with context here. I joined the DID/OSDD Tumblr community around 2017. I was 19 years old, and WOEFULLY undereducated. I had a DSM-iii from the school library (the one that still had MPD as a diagnosis) and the internet at my disposal, along with overprotective parents that regularly spied on me and who I am certain checked my browsing history. At the time, Rice was a host of the system. She came out of hiding, stuck around for longer… but genuinely, I don’t think it was super healthy for her.

Link to Post

This was her first ever post on our DID blog. Mind you, we were not influenced by any other sources yet. This was from our own understanding. Rice didn’t switch out of the front anymore consciously, and the others rarely fronted. This, to her, based on our ignorant research, meant everyone was integrated (which she used to mean the word “fused” - and both words were inaccurate for what we were actually experiencing) and that she somehow didn’t have DID anymore because of it.

SO… we entered the DID community with a LOT of stupid preconceptions. That’s the point of that screenshot.

I started out by just reblogging pictures, memes, etc. Just barely starting to dip my toes into the DID/OSDD community. I gave advice when it was applicable to my own life, but given that I was so misinformed on other topics, people were… understandably wary.

Around this time, I also created a sideblog of mine, probablydidrpgideas. I was just trying to find fun in a life that was quickly spiraling out of my control - I was terrified of having a mental disorder, likely because of internalized ableism. It just sounded so horrible. So I tried to make light of it, and tried to enjoy myself. I don’t regret that part, but then I tried my hand at “spreading information.” Yeah. THAT went great. I’d include a post here, but it was deleted after a system came after me for it.

The first time I consciously started stepping into syscourse, the first time I participated was… well.

Here. Link.

I was in denial. I didn’t realize that what I had been through (what little I remember of it) even counted. I knew high school was hard for me, but that was AFTER the cut off age. So this was me, trying to question, genuinely, when that “cut off” was. They responded genuinely and with good information, and kindly too. And my response was…

Link

Up until this point, I had only seen hate. I had seen endos - who claimed to be similar to me - who were being harassed. I saw systems - who, like me, claimed to not have trauma before a specific age - being harassed by people like this person, who claimed DID only happened before a certain age. They suggested I seek therapy, and that if I wasn’t traumatized, I may be experiencing something else. I reacted VERY poorly, like the uneducated (terrified) teenager I was.

Because of this, and a few other factors, I moved into endogenic spaces. OSDD/DID spaces didn’t accept me, particularly because there were a lot of things about my system that made people doubt my existence. I was a supposed DID system who had “completely fused” in one year without any therapy, but still had alters fronting, who claimed to have formed without trauma (denial is a hell of a drug) and who had genuinely no idea what they were talking about.

Proof of not knowing what I was talking about: my description of what it meant to be “integrated” 😥

I continued to interact with those who disagreed with endogenic plurality, primarily because I wanted to understand where they were coming from. If I WAS a traumagenic system, then surely I should understand???

Link (tw sh mention)

This was the first time I was fully fakeclaimed. Fair warning, it’s a loooong post and goes into a lot of back and forth. But this was what, ultimately, cemented me as a radically inclusive system. At this point, I was at least OPEN to the idea of being traumatized. So having someone tell me I was just RPing… It hurt. And it all started cause, looking back, I was immature and uninformed - as are the majority of new systems. This person - this JACKASS - looked at me, a clearly fucked up individual, and continued to believe the worst of me.

I applied that belief to all anti-endos. And I ran to endogenic spaces to feel… safe.

Endo spaces felt safe. I felt accepted, because, well, they accepted everyone! This was also at the same time I was exploring my gender and sexuality, and when I started falling in love with my nonbinary partner. Endogenic spaces kept comparing the trauma debate to LGBT+ debates. “They say trauma ALWAYS causes systems, just because they’ve never heard of it happening elsewhere!! That’s the same argument as Nonbinary people not existing because you’ve never heard of it!!” (Note: it’s not the same argument.)

It was so easy to become a pro-endo. I could talk for hours about why, but it boils down to feeling accepted and wanted. When I first started looking into things (uneducated, as the post said), I could not comprehend why people were excluding others. “Surely, if so many people say they have a disorder but don’t have trauma, that’s valid, because *I* have this disorder without trauma.” Again. Denial.

It’s funny because, looking back, I remember things much clearer. I didn’t reblog much from Endogenics at first - largely because I didn’t want harassment. I was more fragile then than I am now, which is clearly saying something. It’s funny too, because I had very similar stances. Just… in an immature way.

Link

Even by 2019, I wasn’t really certain where I stood. I knew I accepted all the identities I was coming across, but I also had my doubts about how healthy this all was. I didn’t strongly participate in syscourse, even then, but I scrolled it a LOT. I spent way too much of my life on tumblr. Also by this point, I was as stressed out as I had ever been - I was a senior in college, just turning 21 by now, fully realizing I’m traumagenic by this point (even if I didn’t fully accept it), and going through the most stressful goddamn year of my life. My symptoms were getting worse, and… I was always so angry.

I scrolled major pro endo blogs. I scrolled major anti endo blogs. I was disgusted by what I saw, daily, because here the Evil Traumagenics were - supposedly MY people - bashing endos - who to me, were just existing. “Words change - why can’t they use those words?” I was so frustrated. I just wanted people to leave each other alone.

Link

As you can see - I actually subscribed to some anti-endo beliefs by now. I acknowledged that some Endogenics have trauma. I just wasn’t outspoken at all, because I knew the harassment my friends in the pro-endo community got. I still considered myself strongly pro-endo, mostly because everyone else did, and partly because… I support endos. I always had.

It wasn’t until November/December of 2019 that I really fell deeply into tumblr and started drowning in syscourse. Notably, that’s during thanksgiving/winter break - when I was home with my abusers. I started reblogging more from anti-endos (at least, the ones who I agreed with) and started separating DID/OSDD from Endogenics.

Link

It was also at this time that I began to hate the community.

Link

I was constantly angry by now. Syscourse was on my dash daily. And of course, quarantine didn’t help. I kept diving further and further into things I didn’t understand.

Link

2020, November, was where I finally, finally started looking into other arguments. What did people mean when they advocated for non-shared spaces? What were they fighting for? I began reblogging from anti-endos.

Link (Long post, no screenshot here)

But I slipped back into this. Angry place. I couldn’t shake that anger. And then… the INSTANT 2021 hit… I started turning that anger towards others, very very heavily.

Link

I started to shift more neutral (slowly, very slowly), but still considered myself pro-endo because I supported them. But I reacted so negatively anytime anyone said ANYTHING negative about Endogenics. I genuinely couldn’t understand what harm they did. Mind you, this was already after I had crashed my car due to their beliefs, had Endogenics tell me I was a mixed-origin system at best, etc etc. i just couldn’t understand how people could be upset at a group of people just trying to exist and get support.

I held onto my anger for too long.

[I would post more screenshots, but it won't let me at this point. I'll be providing links from hereon out).

Link: (what even was the point of this? All to hold a grudge? Is that it?)

May was where things started to shift. I was so angry all the time that it was exhausting me. I spent hours of my day on tumblr, scrolled my entire dashboard at least 4 times a day, and scrolled through syscourse tags with obsessive focus. I was stuck now stuck at home, every day, all day, with my abusers. It was a crutch.

I was so tired. And I started shifting to neutrality: not giving a shit anymore, because giving a shit was… god. It was exhausting.

Link: This is where I started identifying as "plural" rather than the other terms, as I was so annoyed and frustrated by syscourse.

That didn’t stop me from being a disgusting, hate filled person to defend the people I have been with for so long, however.

https://memoriesofthecircularroom.tumblr.com/post/650492132308746240/cant-reply-so-doing-it-this-way-this-here (This entire post was just... So sickening. I just made comparisons to being gay as a way to defend how the DSM changes and isn’t correct and just. Ugh.)

I hate scrolled anti-endo blogs (that I sometimes reblogged from, because. I agree with the things I reblogged.) I tried to do positivity to cheer myself up - which didn’t last. I made positivity posts for Endogenics that got shat on by people, which just increased my anger. Everything just. Need more anger. I knew I wanted to stop, but I COULDN’T because god, everything was making me so angry, and here I was, with nowhere to put it - but in syscourse.

Link: https://memoriesofthecircularroom.tumblr.com/post/655709219852615680/honey-im-blocking-people-thats-it-im-not

It just kept getting worse. And worse. And worse. I kept fluctuating between a very aggressive pro-endo and a very dead inside “neutral.”

And then I changed.

Link: https://memoriesofthecircularroom.tumblr.com/post/672094051347070976/thanks-so-much-for-explaining-it-that-way-that

@justanothersyscourse. You… heard my anger, and frustration, and you replied kindly. And while it itched inside, burned, to be talking to someone I had frequently complained about in private, you offered safety on the other side. Safety for me to research, to understand, to see. All I ever wanted, originally, was to understand. You have us that chance.

The rest of tumblr never saw it - but Dude (the owner of that blog) sat with me for a half hour or so in DMs while I bawled my eyes out in a Covid testing line and as I tried to work out where I stood on the “disordered / dysfunctional” debate. He made me feel like someone understood for once; agreed that BOTH sides are toxic, and that BOTH sides have such majors flaws. I felt at the time that everybody hated me, because every post I made for backlash. Every post I made got people upset. I never got “good anons.” I never got asks at all. Just… people reblogging and telling me I was fake.

Dude opened me up to actually breathing again.

That was in December, 2021. About 6 months ago. Half a year. And it was the first time I felt less angry.

Dude being kind made me look at other anti-endo blogs. I found kind people, through dude - and unkind people too. But I agreed with all of them, at first, and considered myself anti-endo in January. I started tagging posts as anti-endo infrequently. That lasted a little bit (though I oscillated the entire month between pro and anti).

Jan 10: https://memoriesofthecircularroom.tumblr.com/post/673028376279302144/genuinely-not-sure-how-i-feel-about-endo-systems

Also Jan 10, in response to that post: https://memoriesofthecircularroom.tumblr.com/post/673035335340539904/if-your-support-for-a-whole-demographic-changes

I voiced my struggles regularly with this oscillation. Another thank you has to go to Agony - I sent so many anonymous asks to the Agony Auncles during this time in hope of some guidance, and I received it.

Link: https://memoriesofthecircularroom.tumblr.com/post/674571799196041217/you-can-feel-free-to-delete-this-if-youd-like

I started feeling a little better, but I’ve realized now why: I felt better because I could RECOGNIZE my anger now. Before, I didn’t even recognize my anger. Now, I did - but I wasn’t sure how to solve it.

In February, I tried to step back, just like I did very recently.

Link: https://memoriesofthecircularroom.tumblr.com/post/676399663864266752/hey-message-from-mod-curtis-here-were-going-to

I couldn’t though. I couldn’t stop scrolling syscourse; especially when I still had to be home. It was so much harder now, I was building up to coming out, so I hid in my phone and tried to ignore everything. I used syscourse to hide.

I started trying to generalize my posts more - maybe if I wasn’t directly supporting either side, that anger (conscious or not) would die down.

This… this, I think, is where hell broke loose.

I started calling myself “neutral” - I didn’t fit cleanly into either of the boxes people appeared to have made. I started arguing “both sides are bad and here are their flaws” - and a very small group of people agree with me!! It’s been lovely having that group.

The tumblr community, however…

Ugh. I don’t think I want to even dig anymore. Anyone who’s been reading this far likely already knows how these past few months went for me. I posted a lot of takes, got both support and heinous amounts of harassment. I was lightly threatened with Doxxing from the pro-endo doxxer, was told to kill myself numerous times, and went toe-to-toe with major pro-endo players.

Nothing I did these past few months feels productive. Not anymore, at least. During the moment, it felt good - but I suppose self harm usually does, in the moment. It’s funny; I frequently make sure to remind people to step away from syscourse when it’s hurting them. So why is it so hard for me to do the same?

I realized, when writing this post, just how damaging it’s all been for me. I started writing this post from a place of, what I’ll call it here, “boiling anger education.” I’ve frequently said that you cannot educate when you are just angry, and I still hold to that - but I wasn’t doing better myself. I didn’t realize I was so angry, so hateful, until I finally, finally managed to fully step away and see the bigger picture.

I took a walk outside for the first time in months on Thursday. It was incredible. I started drawing again - granted, for system related things, but it’s been so refreshing. I started writing again, because I wasn’t busy refreshing my notifications to make sure nobody had misinterpreted what I said now, to make sure I didn’t need to respond to someone to clarify my point.

It’s been about a week (I think - time is so hard for me to keep track of. It feels simultaneously like yesterday, and like years ago) since I wrote the post that made me step back. Genuinely, I don’t know how to feel about the take I made there. I don’t think it’s beneficial to even address it here; I’m not healthy enough for that yet. I think it would be a disservice, to myself and to others, to address it here. I always say “if you aren’t educated on the topic, you can share your thoughts and personal feelings, but you can’t give information.” I want to stand by that here, especially since I haven't been lately.

Looking back, Memories of the Circular Room has changed. That’s a good thing, in a lot of ways. It started as a way to me to learn more, to post about my experiences, and to become comfortable with my system. I believe I’ve done those things. I also believe it’s changed me for the worse - the syscourse, the hate, the anger I’ve held onto.

I think MotCR served me well. But I also think I’m not that person anymore. I don’t need to remember anymore. I don’t need to be stuck in who I was, or who I was becoming. I can change, and grow, and hopefully, I can be kind. That’s all I wanted, back then: someone to be kind to me, to educate me. That’s who I want to be.

This is my funeral pyre for Memories of the Circular Room. One last, final post - one last final memory of everything. A chronicle of all of the things that have happened, a quick summary, one that certainly doesn’t contain everything, but shows the changes I went through. I think I’m finally ready to move on.

MotCR will remain “active” in the sense that you can scroll this blog to see any post made here. I’m not going to private it, because I think there are good things that were said here, and I want myself and others to be able to access those things. But I will no longer reblog things here, make original posts, or answer asks. I’m moving on, and away, and changing how I tackle syscourse.

I’ll be making one last post when I fully am ready to share my new plans (which include a new blog). But for now? This is it.

Thank you for reading ❤️💙💜💗🖤💛💚❣️🧡💟🤍❤️

#Syscourse #Personal #Ok to RB #Endos #Syscourse Neutral #Anti-endo #Pro-endo #Endo Safe

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violettelueur · 4 years ago

Text

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE EIGHTEEN || SAGE

↳ featuring : basically everyone at this point from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of blood + mention of killing + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 10 april

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 3.8k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : kyoto sister school exchange event - group battle 3

↳ next episode : black flash

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit, i did cringe a bit writing this episode for some reason ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ but also i have been getting a lot of asks in my inbox asking me if you can add me on genshin impact, and i am not opposed to that! just tell me in advance ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ also volume one of komi can’t communicate came in today! also...the idea i have is coming in soon...so beware.....BUT thank you so much for being so patient with the series and hope you enjoy this special cup of classic black coffee ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5. for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique : hopefully this video is slightly better...

Destructive Curse Spell Number Fifty-Four : Haien : 6:08-6:12 (but like it’s more emphasised to look like this : 1:55-2:05)

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“Where the hell is Fushiguro, right now?” you muttered under your breath as you swiftly ran around the extremely large building you were currently in right now after trying to run away from Kyoto student: Kamo Noritoshi, who seemed too adamant to catch you for some odd reason.

At this current moment in time, you were desperately trying to find your partner after instantly splitting up with him when you both had entered the building causing you to become concerned for the shikigami user since his opponent didn’t seem to be holding back. Even though in the back of your mind, this was your one and only opportunity to go and find the curse you needed to exorcise for your school team to win the first day of the Exchange Event, you knew that the second that Kamo could sense your curse energy leave the premises, he would turn away from his battle and chase you down leaving Fushiguro the role of trying to locate you - which was going to be difficult for him.

Digging into your skirt pocket, you quickly pulled out a fist that had a few pink petals that you had kept after you had used some of them to attack Kamo earlier before gradually transferring some of your cursed energy within them. Slowly, you processed to open your palm letting the same blush coloured petals begin to glide into the air allowing them to travel down the hall you were running through right now causing specks of your cursed energy to be located everywhere they moved to lead your opponents to be somewhat confused about where you really were right now.

ꕥ

“Your team partner seemed to be the smart type,” Kamo mentioned as he turned his head to look behind him since he slowly began to sense the chaotic flow of cursed energy that was beginning to vastly surround the building right now as he was quickly struggling to locate the original source of the cursed energy that he needed to find, which was you.

“She’s always been the smart type, it’s quite scary in my opinion,” Fushiguro commented before raising his tonfas in a defensive position before taking the time given to him to try to locate where you were before giving up the second he tried once his discovered how immense your cursed energy was flowing in the building right now.

‘What the hell? How does she do that?’

Hastily, Fushiguro lunged himself forward as he attempted to attack Kamo leading his opponent to block his hit before suddenly retaliating, only for Fushiguro to defend himself quickly as well. However, it seemed as if both sorcerers were not going to give up as easily as a continuous row of attacks commenced between the two causing them to travel backwards and forwards along the hallway they were in right now.

Suddenly, there was a violent contact with the backs of their wrists leading Kamo to proceed to swiftly turn his body to the side of the opposition as he forcibly thrust his palm out towards the shikigami user causing Fushiguro to use his remaining tonfa to block his attack causing his weapon to snap in half as well as him being pushed back to the other side of the hallway where he first stood.

Staring down at the now tattered wooden weapon, Fushiguro casually threw it to the side leading Kamo to begin to spew out with what was currently running through his mind.

“Shikigami users who can fight this well in close combat are precious, you’ve improved. I’m happy,” Kamo expressed with an impressed tone, leading Fushiguro to unexpectedly cringe at the amount of time you had beaten him up during the past two months of training you both had together.

“What is this sense of fellowship you keep throwing out?” Fushiguro asked in an irritated tone since he wasn’t in the mood to converse about anything to do with the clans at this moment in time.

“I’m sympathising, someday you’ll be one of those supporting the major clans, well maybe the four major clans if the L/N remained after the Heian Era,” Kamo suggested, causing the erratic-haired sorcerer to look at the opposition with a deadpan expression painted on his face.

“Gojo doesn’t even support the clans even though she is in the Gojo clan,” Fushiguro reminded Kamo leading to the sorcerer in front of him to shift slightly as if the news to him was surprising at all since it seemed as if you and the strongest sorcerer was ‘close’ despite the joking tension between you both.

“I intend to kill Itadori Yuji,” Kamo suddenly announced, as if that was not known to everyone within the Tokyo team right now.

“On Principal Gakuganji’s orders? So why chase after Gojo?” Fushiguro questioned, as he was still perplexed on why the blood manipulation sorcerer would go after you if his main priority was to eliminate his friend and classmate.

“No, it’s my personal decision. As a member of the Kamo clan, one of the three major clans, I believe that’s the right call,” Kamo answered before going silent, as if he had something in mind currently before he began to voice his opinion once again, “you should be able to understand that, too,”.

“Sorry, but I really don’t get it at all”

Suddenly, Kamo unexpectedly left something lightly slice his cheek slightly causing him to turn to view what was behind him to notice that you were standing there with your armed raised up, leading him to turn back forward to discover your katana piercing the wall that was behind Fushiguro (who looked at you with widened eyes) as your teammate managed to move his head to the side in time before your weapon pierced him instead.

“Oh, I missed,” you commented as you noticed a hint of blood escaping from his small wound, before using your other hand to violently pull the invisible chain of your katana back like a boomerang leading Kamo to swiftly dodge the weapon this time, while being surprised on how you had managed to retrieve your sword back without moving an inch towards it.

“What do you mean? You, me and Fushiguro are the same,” Kamo then declared, causing you to give him an extremely offended look from behind before turning to the side as if to convey to the sorcerer that you weren’t going to listen to him anymore.

“No, we’re not,” Fushiguro replied with an annoyed as well as fed-up expression on his face, as he didn’t expect his opponent to say something as weird as he did right now.

‘He’s spouting some scary stuff all of a sudden...and couldn’t Gojo warn me about this little attack of hers?’

“We are,” Kamo responded, only for Fushiguro to retaliate back leading you to turn your head back to the conversation with a slightly vexed look since you didn’t want such a stupid discussion between two descendants of the three major clans to go on forever like this.

“We’re not, please save those discussions for Maki-san. I no longer have any connection with the Zenin clan,” Fushiguro informed his opponent causing Kamo to turn to you as if you would try to have an understanding of what he was trying to carry out.

“Remember, I don’t actually have any connections to the Gojo clan, I’m not related to them by blood and even if Gojo-sensei adopted me out of the blue,” you explained to Kamo while raising your hands up like you were surrendering when really you were trying to avoid any topic to do with the clans overall.

“Besides, I don’t believe I’m ‘right’. No, sorry. That’s not right, I don’t care if I’m right or wrong,” Fushiguro commented as he looked down towards his raised hand with a softened expression to which caused Kamo to turn back to the shikigami user.

“I just...have faith in my own good conscience, I save people according to my own conscience. If you would reject that, then...we’ll just have to curse each other,” Fushiguro suddenly declared, as a wave of cursed energy began to surround him causing you to sudden be on guard since you didn’t know what your classmate had prepared.

Unexpectedly, a shikigami frog appeared from the side causing you to prepare yourself in an attack stance in case Kamo decided to move towards you, to which he did turn to face you only for the same shikigami to dissolve into the shadow it had come from leading Kamo to open his eyes in shock at the common but smart strategy that the younger sorcerer had come up with.

“This one burns through cursed energy, so I can only use it by itself. I only recently tamed it,” Fushiguro explained before positioning his hands in front of him as he prepared the next shikigami that he was going to summon.

“Max elephant,” the shikigami user announced before the shadow below him began to merge into the shape of a pink elephant leading you to look at the animal with widened eyes as you didn’t expect such a large shikigami to appear right in front of you.

‘What the hell?’ you thought, as the elephant’s cheeks began to swell up while Kamo began to position himself into an attack position. However, it seemed the elephant was going to attack first as a suddenly sprouted out a massive wave of water that could fill up the ocean, causing you to yell out in shock before quickly deciding to stab your katana deeply into the ground to have something to hold on to as Kamo quickly swept into the mass of water leading to the wall behind to break.

“Maybe tell me when you are going to attack, you drag!” you yelled out to your classmate in anger as he rushed next to you causing your partner to look at you weirdly since you were kind of being hypocritical at this current moment in time.

“Just jump across to attack him while I use Nue to corner him!” Fushiguro stated to you in a serious tone, leading you to nod at him before launching yourself forward towards the sorcerer with your katana blade facing the opposite direction it was supposed to since you didn’t want to critically damage your opponent.

Behind you, Fushiguro interlocked his thumbs before fanning out the rest of his finger to represent wings as he swiftly summoned Nue into the battle leading the bird-like creature to strike him with lightning, paralysing Kamo for a second before he suddenly reached into his uniform to slowly reveal a bag of blood to which he then proceeded to throw the object in your direction, causing Nue to bump into you as if to move you away from the item as the blood bag quickly exploded causing the shikigami to be trapped within what seemed to be a rope of blood.

However, you could not let the sudden event faze you as you proceeded to place your foot to the side of the building you were pushed against before thrusting yourself downwards with extreme force to attack Kamo while Fushiguro dashed towards the same opponent to do the same thing.

“I can’t afford to lose!” Kamo screamed as he began to lung forward towards Fushiguro.

Suddenly, a large explosion destructively echoed behind you leading you to reach to the ground with one hand before riskily twisting the same hand to make your body spin before you quickly landed of your feet to the ground causing Fushiguro to look at you with a worried expression before all three of you peered up above to see a vast structure of what seemed to be wood, growing ever to rapidly in the air.

“What is this?” Kamo questioned in a panic before Fushiguro noticed someone running along the tiles rooftop from above.

“Inumaki-senpai?!” Fushguro yelled out in an alarmed tone causing you to look to the side to see your senior classmate running in what seemed to be incomplete adrenaline and fear.

“Run-away!” Inumaki spoke, causing his voice to ring out to everyone as they realised that it was his cursed technique that was occurring right now, causing your bodies to instantly run away from the mass destruction that was occurring right now.

ꕥ

“Huh?” Utahime muttered as she stared at the how red flamed paper talisman while everyone in the room with her peered at them with the same surprised expression.

“The game’s over? And they all burned red?” Utahime questioned as the flames quickly extinguished themselves leading to a large volume of smoke remaining.

“That’s odd, my crows didn’t see anything,” MeiMei commented.

“I’d love to say Great Teacher Gojo’s students exorcised them all, but…” Gojo mentioned as he placed his hands together as if to tell everyone in the room that he was thinking of another solution that might have caused this issue as all the screens in front of them now became static.

“The charms will burn red for unregistered cursed energy,” Principal Yaga informed everyone.

“You think it’s an outsider? Some invader?” Utahime queried, as she turned to her colleague with a concerned expression on her face.

“Does this mean Tengen-sama’s barrier isn’t functioning?” MeiMei then asked, but it wasn’t answered as Principal Gakuganji made a comment.

“Whether it’s an outsider or not, something unexpected is happening all the same,” he mentioned before wondering how this intruder was able to exorcise the semi-first-grade he had planted in order to assassinate Itadori Yuji.

“I’m going to Tengen-sama, Satoru and Principal Gakuganji, please protect the students. Mei, you stay here and identify the locations of the students, stay in constant contact with the other two,” Principal Yaga instructed everyone.

“Fully understood, I look forward to the bonus,” MeiMei mentioned, as she turned her head towards the sorcerer trying to convey that she was willing to follow his instruction with a price to pay.

“Come on, Gramps! Time for a walk! You just finished your lunch, didn’t you? I don’t want my daughter injured with you being slow!” Gojo stated in a light but playful tone as he clapped his hands twice to get the elder’s attention, leading the mentioned sorcerer to become silent and annoyed at the Six-Eye shaman.

“Let’s hurry!” Utahime mentioned as she was becoming worried about the time they were spending on talking in the room they were in rather than going out right now to help the students that were in trouble.

ꕥ

Running forward, you couldn’t help but notice how the branch that was behind you was still extending leading you to quicken your pace as everyone turned to the right, only for the same branch to twist itself in the same directions causing you to come to the conclusion that it was either a skilled curse user or special-grade curse that was the cause of it.

‘Did the mole tell whoever is doing this the location of the event?’

Although, before you could come to another conclusion on who was the mole within the group of Kyoto students, you suddenly heard Fushiguro gasp leading you to snap out of your thinking daze to see a large number of branches breaking through the wooden door that was in front of you leading to a vast volume of debris to rushingly come towards you to which caused you to over your face, allowing the veil that was processing to drip down above you to engulf every student at this current moment in time.

Once the huge mass of debris cleared itself, you noticed the change in colour around you before you turned your head towards the mass of branches in front of you with what seemed to be a curse standing on top of its masterpiece as if to showcase its sudden appearance.

“Why is there a cursed spirit at Jujutsu Tech? Who does this veil belong to?” Kamo asked rapidly, as his head was tilted up to view the intruder in front of him.

“Probably the curse user working with the cursed spirit,” Fushiguro answered, as he too was looking at the curse in front of him leading Kamo to question his knowledge about the situation in hand, while Inumaki let out a cough, causing you to worry about his condition right now since you didn’t have a single clue on how much he had used his voice in the current situation.

“There are a few unregistered special-grade cursed spirits roaming around Japan right now, probably this one was the one that attacked Gojo-sensei before,” you informed the sorcerers in front of you as you slowly began to remember the silly little drawing your adoptive father had given you when you first met with the Kyoto side’s principal.

“Tuna with mayo,” Inumaki commented as he waved a hand to signal a phone leading Fushiguro to agree with his upperclassmen as he proceeded to pull out his phone to contact Gojo, while Kamo commented on how Fushiguro could understand his classmate at all since he was still perplexed on how the Toyko students could even convey with him as well.

‘Why does it only look at me…?’

Yet, it seems as if you weren’t concentrating on their little conversation as you kept an eye on the curse since it seemed to be staring at you for some odd reason, leading you to tightly grip the hilt of your katana, as you now shifted your eyes down to make sure your fellow sorcerers (who were in front of you right now) were safe for the time being.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Fushiguro mentioned, as he placed his phone to his ear. “Maintain our distance and retreat to Gojo-sensei- '' Fushiguro then explained, but before he could finish his sentence, the curse swiftly moved behind Kamo before proceeding to break Fushiguro’s device from his hand.

“Don’t move!” Inumaki yelled out, leading to the curse freezing in its position before attacking Kamo, leading everyone to keep a distance away from the special-grade curse.

Suddenly, Kamo grabbed another bag of blood that he kept hidden within his uniform before letting it explode once again as he began to maintain control of the red substance. “Blood Manipulation: Slicing Exorcism!” Kamo yelled out before swinging the blood shaped shuriken towards your opponent, only for the curse to be left unscathed leaving the sorcerer to be surprised at the outcome.

Before the curse could even react, Nue suddenly appeared above you before flying downwards towards the special-grade curse with the same purple lightning you have gotten used to before Fushiguro suddenly swept in close to slash the curse with a sword he was hiding within his shadow like you had taught him to within the first week of training. However, it seemed that the katana’s dent that was made only healed as quickly as it appeared causing Fushiguro to tut in complete annoyance.

“.nerdlihc hsiloof, ti potS,”

“Stop it, foolish children,” the curse suddenly said, causing you to grab your head in surprise as you didn’t expect the curse that was in front of you right now to communicate to you at all since you didn’t have a clue on what it was saying but you somehow could understand it.

“I merely wish to protect this planet, that’s all,” the curse then explained, causing you to prepare your cursed energy to flow from your hand to your katana since you now knew that you needed to use your cursed technique to keep the others safe - yet you didn’t know how you could conceal the risk of being discovered.

“It’s a curse spouting nonsense! Don’t listen!” Kamo exclaimed intensely.

“This is on a whole different level than lower-grade cursed spirits,” Fushiguro then commented to Kamo as if it was obvious enough to everyone that was around that opponent at this current moment in time.

“The forests, the oceans, and the sky, all weep so vehemently that I can no longer stand it. It’s impossible to coexist with humans any longer. They know there are some humans who are kind to the planet, but how much does their affection even help?” the curse declared as it raised its head up to the sky as if it was speaking to a whole nation.

‘It somehow established its own language system...and somehow manages to communicate with us…’

“All they desire is time. This planet can shine blue once more, given a bit of time,” the curse spoke again before a sudden twist of branches appeared right behind the curse leading everyone that was in front of it to be on guard as the sudden impact that caused the ground to shake was evident enough on how dangerous this opponent was.

“Gojo Y/N...You can’t run, the veil is designed to keep you trapped within here...We need you for what is going to commence,” the curse suddenly declared causing you to look at it with wide eyes while all the boys turned to you with panicked expression painted on their faces since they were now concerned with your safety more right now than theirs.

‘I don’t know how long this curse spell will last, but I need to make sure it is enough to let everyone run before it can reach them’

“Is that so? Ah..what a drag,” you then asked, as you raised your katana up in the air with one hand as you gradually began to transfer a large amount of cursed energy within the blade. “You see, I began to notice that you seem to be a plant type of curse, I assume...something like wood right?” you rhetorically asked, before using your other hand to cover your mouth with the back of it to conceal the next few words that were going to come out of your mouth.

“Destructive Curse Spell number fifty-four: Haien,” you whispered before a sudden flame began to engulf the metal blade leading the boy to look at your weapon in astonishment at how wild the flames seemed to be due to the amount of cursed energy you had placed within the same blade. “So...why don’t you just burn to death them, would you?” you threatened in a low tone causing the boys to dash behind you before you swung your katana downwards to allow the flames to wildly and uncontrollably burst out in front of the special-grade curse leading to the building behind it to begin slowly extinguishing with the massive flames.

Turning around, you grabbed the fabric of Fushiguro’s and Inuamki’s uniforms (while yelling at Kamo to run) before using your strength as well as a hint of your cursed energy to violently push them forward away from the flames before running towards the same direction with them since this was the perfect opportunity to make a dash for it without any of the boys getting injured or harm in the process.

‘Whoever is responsible for the veil...is going to die..’

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parkers-gal · 4 years ago

Note

yay! okay so I was thinking, what I'd the reader and Tom had a fight, could be over anything, but the reader was pregnant and a few years after, they bump into each other and they get back together. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.

this has been sitting in my inbox for a fat couple of months… sorry 😭

wc: 1.7k ! <3

—

“No, because you’re selfish and you can’t handle the fact that my life doesn’t revolve around you and your needs.” Tom spits out the words angrily, viciously, voice harsh and crisp.

You’re both frustrated beyond belief, and the bubble that had been overblown had finally popped, splattering your relationship and all the joyful aspects of it. Right now, you felt as if all that was left was the toxicity of two unbearable people who happened to love each other. You knew, deep down, that you loved each other enough to get through this, but with every passing moment, with every exchanged word, you realized at least one of you wouldn’t survive the damage.

“No, Tom. You’re selfish. You’re conceited and you only care about being a goddamn movie star. What happened to the family man, huh? What happened to staying tied down with me and your brothers?”

“Nothing happened to him! I’m still that person. I am a family guy.”

“Not to me, you aren't.”

“Well you’re not family!” He seethes through his teeth, anger radiating off of his short-tempered demeanor. You don’t even know how to react, so you spend the time soaking in the situation and how you should respond instead of actually doing it.

“You’re a fucking jackass. I asked when I could spend time with you and now you don’t even consider me as part of the family.”

“No,” He’s clear and concise even through the anger. “You asked when I’m going to stop living my life.”

“I said no such thing.”

“You didn’t have to! We both know that’s what you meant.”

“You’re not even on the same page as me anymore,” You scoff, arms crossing. “Seems like all this time in Hollywood made you forget that you’re not always the main character.”

“Fuck that, Y/N! Fuck! That!”

“No, Tom. Fuck. You.” You over-express your emotions, and after two more minutes of unbearable silence and screaming, he’s leaving your apartment just as fast as he arrived. You’re in shock, fingers shaking while you clear your throat, which is frayed and sore from all the yelling.

You sit back, elbows on your knees while your hands smoothen out your forehead. Tear after tear escapes your sobbing body, and eventually, you fall asleep on the couch.

In the weeks to come, you’ve realized the blow-out of a breakup could’ve been handled so much differently, but Tom hasn’t seemed to cool down at all — he’s petty enough to unfollow you on all social media, and you figure it’s time to let the hatred be mutual. You don’t touch your imessages, however, letting the love in those texts linger for a little longer.

Before you know it, you’re throwing up into the toilet boil, coughing violently at the action and spitting the bitter taste as best you can. You clean up, and when you check your phone, a small notification from your period tracker app alerts you that this is the second period in a row that has gone by without a hello.

Worried, you call Aisha, your closest friend and confidant. She’s over in no time, bringing along her girlfriend while you rant on the phone about your worries. They stop at the drugstore on the way.

The cause of your problems is discovered that day, and you collapse on the bathroom floor in agony, hands wiping at your face — through all the anger and fear and worry, you still love Tom. So much that Aisha even attempts to call Tom. But, alas, it’s sent straight to voicemail, and you realize he might’ve gone to extreme extents in blocking everyone.

You’re stuck going to the ultrasound with two lesbians and a frail old cat. Aisha is as supportive as ever, but as the doctor explains the process of each option, you feel sicker and sicker about the idea of getting rid of the fetus. In the end, you choose to keep the child you’re bearing, even if your ex-lover isn’t even in the picture.

Inevitably, the months pass, and as baby Charlie is brought into the wonderful world, you realize life as a single mother isn’t as scary as you thought it would be. In the first few months of your pregnancy, you’d kept tabs on what film Tom was doing and which was coming out next, but after the hormones and cravings, you’d decided to let the past sizzle and fade out in the way it was meant to all along.

It’s been almost three years since that fateful breakup, and Charlie is just reaching two and a half years old. You’re still single, and you’re okay with that. Charlie is all you need, all you’ve ever wanted, and the most important thing in your life. He’s young, and school is still a couple years away, but you enjoy having the toddler by your side, walking hand in hand with you because you’re his guardian, his provider, his only parent. You make him your only priority, because you don’t want him to grow up without anyone to love, or anyone to love him.

It’s hard, though. It’s hard because he’s a constant reminder of what didn’t happen, a constant reminder of what went wrong and of what you no longer have. You miss Tom more than words can express, and Charlie’s mop of brown curls reminds you of all the moments you’d run your fingers through Tom’s hair. You reminisce more than you’d like to, about Tom and your past, and though Charlie is technically half of the Brit, he’s one hundred percent yours. Because you’re the only one here, and that’s alright.

“Mummy,” Charlie tugs on your shirt’s hem while you move the shopping cart forward through the aisle. “Can we get the goldfish with superheroes?”

You jutt your lip out in a smile, nodding happily. “Of course we can, bub.”

As you step forward, you pit stop in the aisle, nearly tripping on the cart. You make direct eye contact with the man you used to love with your entire heart. The man who walked out with your heart and never gave it back. He’s staring right back at you, curls looking as fluffy as ever, face still a soft glow. Your breath hitches, and it’s then that you realize Charlie is still talking.

“Mummy?” He asks, and it’s just loud enough for Tom to hear. Harry, who’s beside Tom with an arm full of crackers and chips. Tom moves forward a few steps, hastily in an attempt to get more information.

“Uh, hi,” His smile is tight lipped as he stands at the other end of your shopping cart. Charlie shies away from strangers, standing behind your leg and holding your shirt with his grubby hands.

“Hi,” you return his awkward, reserved demeanor.

“Mummy who’s this?”

“‘Mummy?’” Tom has a follow up question for everything, and you internally panic, unsure on how to approach this.

You’d spent so long deciding how you should tell Tom that he was a dad. You spent hours debating on if you should pick up the phone or drive over just to tell him a truth you’ve kept inside for so long. You’ve abandoned social media, only sharing aspects of your life you can afford to post. Charlie is only occasionally on your page, but it’s not like Tom would see that, not after all that’s happened.

Your mouth opens and closes while you debate on how to reply. You’re physically incapable of saying your response, and it makes you even more nervous. You’re nervous on how he might react, what he’ll say, but most importantly, if he’ll stay.

“Is this…?

“My kid…” You fill in. “I- I mean our… our kid.” You pull your bottom lip between your rows of teeth, and you watch as Tom’s face undergoes thousands of expressions all at once. He’s surprised, shocked, happy, afraid, uncertain. You want the world to swallow you whole, suck you up so you don’t have to go through any of this again. But you don’t. Instead, you hold Charlie’s hand a little tighter.

“Our kid?” He drops a can of soup and you flinch at the loud noise.

“Mummy, who’s that?”

“That’s…” You don’t know how to answer his question. Instead, you lean down to his level, comfortingly and gently. “He’s a man.”

“Who’s that man?”

“He’s… your daddy.”

“I thought… no daddy?”

You purse your lips and furrow your brows. Tom’s watching the entire encounter from his place, but after a few beats, he steps forward, entering your bubble. Charlie doesn’t cower away this time, but looks up in curiosity.

“Hi, Charlie,” Tom extends his hand, adjusting his jeans so he can lean down just as you are, kneeling beside the young boy.

You look down, avoiding your worries and Tom’s gaze. He’s tearing up, and you want to cry too. You’re in a fucking supermarket, for god’s sake. This wasn’t how you envisioned any of this planning out, and though you’re mentally kicking yourself for letting it happen this way, you can’t help but feel like maybe this was meant to be. Written in the stars or whatever the folks say — you’re just grateful Charlie has at least a sliver of hope for two parents. Not that you can’t handle it, because you can, but you know someone like Tom wouldn’t want to miss something as important as this.

“I’m To- I’m…” He swallows thickly, making brief eye contact with you before looking back at Charlie. “I’m your dad.”

“Do you love my mummy?” He’s not shameless, but he’s still that shy little boy. “My friend says daddy’s love mommy’s so you must love mine, right?”

Tom lets a tear fall while he exhales a chuckle. He swipes the drop with the tips of his fingers, and the hand gripping Charlie’s squeezes it a little tighter. A glance in your direction is all it takes for him to answer Charlie’s question. “Yeah, buddy. I do.”

want more? my masterlist.

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creativeashproductions · 4 years ago

Text

When Fate Intervenes // Luke Patterson

IN WHICH: Fate intervenes with a trio of musicians on the night that was supposed to be legendary. Fate puts the reader with a special ability that may or may not be able to save them. Fate puts a clairvoyant, an accidentally upsized pizza and thirteen year old oddly obsessed with a rock band.

Warnings: Swearing, food poison, death, and fluff

Words: 2.8k

A/N: Time to get rid of some fic ideas from my TOO LONG of a list. It’s Julie fault, she keeps encouraging each fic idea I tell her.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

The Orpheum, 1995

The line up comprised of countless girls wearing homemade band shirts for the new band performing. Your little sister, at thirteen years old, had pleaded for weeks if not three months to go watch it. It was odd since she was more in the pop scene than the rock music. Your parents would never let her go to the rock show at night, so it was you or no show. It took a promise of doing your chores for an entire month and her dessert for two months. That was why you stood beside Harper among the fangirls while you clicked through the camera you’d saved up for years.

“I’m so excited.” Harper buzzed dancing on your feet as the time on her watch dwindled down more and more.

Your eyes flitted from the screen to the ball of energy you called your little sister, “I can tell. Which one do you have a crush on?”

“Reggie. He’s the bassist and so fucking-sorry freaking cool.” Harper gushed, “A good portion of the fans are obsessed with the lead singer Luke. Bobby is the rhythm guitarist, and he’s a ladies man, but he’s sweet about it.”

“And you’d know that how?” You questioned letting go of the camera around your neck. Your e/c eyes meeting her matching pair of irises; well yours were a bit more vibrant.

“I just know.” Harper retorted before beaming as she roughly poked the pin she’d made herself, “This represents all of them. Red for Reggie’s plaid shirt he always has, orange for Bobby’s love of oranges, yellow for Luke’s energy and pink for Alex because he loves the colour!”

The pin had their band design with Sunset Curve on it with the words outlined with a sunset made up of red, orange, yellow and pink just as Harper had pointed out. By far, it was her best work, but that was expected from an art student at Los Feliz High School. An art school for artists and performers. You attended for photography and creative writing just as Harper attended for art.

“That might be your best work Harps.” You complimented your little sister who shivered in the cool night breeze. You didn’t even think about tugging off your warm jacket to place on her shoulders.

You’d rather be cold than your little sister no matter how much you fought with each other, the Y/L/N siblings had each other’s backs no matter what.

“Thanks.” Harper murmured, leaning closer, “So do I meet Reggie?”

Your eyes widened slightly at her subtle goading to a part of your life was cinematic. It was a piece of you that very few people knew about, only your parents and Harper. Like most of the women in your paternal lineage, you carried the ability to foresee events in the future. A clairvoyant.

“Harper!” You scolded the young teenager who blatantly was just over-excited to see the band she’d been talking about constantly.

Harper’s cheeks turned a cherry blossom pink under the crappy lighting from the marquee sign. Even in the light, you noticed the changes in her face as she matured into a young woman, her cheeks while still full didn’t have that baby cheek look now. You saw a stubborn zit that you could see under the makeup that didn’t entirely match her skin tone. It caused an ache in your heart to know that soon she’d have the experience of heartbreak.

“Sorry!”

“You told me these guys are my age. Need I remind you that you are thirteen? If anyone older than thirteen makes an advance I’ll put my softball skills to the test.” You sternly informed the shorter girl with the pout that screamed rebellion, “Just be a kid Harps.”

“Like you said Y/N, I’m thirteen. I’m not a kid anymore.” Harper dropped the attitude to adopt a more mature soft tone. You could see the tinge of sadness in her eyes at losing the part of life where it was easy.

“I know. I can wish you’ll stay that annoying little kindergartener that stole my clothing.” You chuckled, “You’ll always be the Stephanie to my DJ.”

The two Y/L/N siblings momentarily glanced around before hugging as quickly as possible, they still had reputations to uphold. Had you been actually paying attention, you and Harper would have noticed the commotion from the people behind you.

As you and Harper had the sweet moment, the very band performing had raced out the alley into the street. What brought you back to the surroundings was the pizza boy delivering the pizza box to you.

“Wait, we ordered a small!” You exclaimed finding the boy holding an extra-large pizza. You only received a shrug in response with the right change given back.

Two things happened with this food mistake, you didn’t have to pay more than what you actually ordered, and you still got the larger pizza. However, the Orpheum didn’t allow outside food, meaning you’d have to force-feed yourself all the pizza or trash more than half.

“We could shar-” Harper was cut off as a blinding white light became your focal point. Harper knew what was happening by the specific groan coming from your lips.

A nauseating scent of cheap meat, gas and chemicals flooded your sense of smell in the dingy alleyway. It was nighttime with a few people in the general vicinity with a dilapidated table and mismatched chairs on the walls’ edge. A poorly made sign with Sam & Ella’s and going by the vendor selling the hot dogs the name fit. Sam & Ella sounded like salmonella.

From a distance, you couldn’t quite hear the conversation between three male teens, but you had a bad feeling. They all migrated to a ratty couch that had been better days, a rat wouldn’t even crawl on it you swore.

The first boy had slicked back hair with rosy cheeks you dubbed innocent and cute that juxtapositioned his rocker attire. He had polished black leather shoes, pleather if his choice of food was an indication, a leather jacket and a red plaid shirt around his waist. His attention focused on the two guys beside him. In the middle, the boy had the blue hood of his sweater pulled over his messy brown hair as if hiding. Nothing stood out about him, and it seemed like that was intentional. On the other side, the last one was the tallest with his blonde hair hidden by the backwards black hat. A distressed dark grey jean jacket open to proudly display his pink hoodie. Each one wearing black pants and adorning rings.

“This is awesome, you guys. We’re playing the Orpheum!” The middle boy joyfully spoke head in the clouds instead of the questionable surroundings. He arguably had the loveliest smile you had ever seen, and his friends had nice smiles at that as well.

Yet even if this hadn’t taken place, however, it still felt like you were intruding on something incredibly private, “Why am I being shown this?”

Your question went unsurprisingly unanswered.

“I can’t even count how many bands have played here! And then ended up being huge!” He happily sunk into the back of the couch, thinking of all the bands he had CDs to in his room, “We’re gonna be legends!”

“Oh.” You breathed as you caught a whiff from the boys that quickly gave you the understanding of why you saw this. You could only smell what you had dubbed as death, the scent unchanging from the first time you’d encountered it.

The death stench accompanied a clairvoyant vision if the object of your vision was sick or about to die. The first time you encountered, it was a vision of two cars colliding, the sound of shattering glass and crunching metal, the scent of burning flesh overpowering the milder stench. The next morning school was cancelled after a teacher died in a car accident on the way to work.

“Eat up, boys. ’Cause after tonight, everything changes.” The only vocal one continued with his two friends silently listening. The trio toasted their food together.

“No!” You exclaimed as each boy took a bite. You held your breath, hoping that the inevitable in the vision wouldn’t occur.

Unfortunately, it was right away the warning appeared. The blonde one the most affected, “That’s a new flavour.”

“Chill, man. Street dogs haven’t killed us yet.” The leather jacket guy proudly spoke, the least one concerned.

Even the guy in the middle was concerned but ultimately continued eating.

“Stop it!” You shouted, but it was no use. As with every vision, you had the potential to stop it from coming true, but while in the vision, you couldn’t interact with the people or surrounding. No matter how much you wanted to slam the food out of their hands.

But one thing sends shivers down your spine. The one in the middle made direct eye contact with you. Something that had never happened before nor to any previous clairvoyants. He kept eye contact as he slowly grew sicker and sicker.

The three boys had no chance as the ambulance rushed to the alleyway to save them. The paramedics weren’t as quick as the vendors who’d already packed and fled to protect their own hides.

You watched as the paramedics did everything in their power to save the young teenagers with everything possible. Just like Luke sang in their last song, the boys felt the darker version of an electric hammer to the heart. The clocks freezing in place as they each took their last breathe in the oddest of deaths. You saw the blonde guy die painfully first before followed by the formerly hooded one, the terrified cries of the last one haunting your phantom ears.

How did three healthy teenagers die on the same night of the exact nature within minutes of each other without one surviving? Maybe it had something to do with the hot dogs chilling in the liquid that was a cesspool of bacteria compounded with tained condiments from battery acid.

You roughly came out of the vision shaking and pale-faced frantically scanning the surroundings. Harper had a grip on the extra large pizza box while the other tightly held yours to ground you in the present.

“Are you okay?” Harper softly questioned with the panic hidden inside her body. Harper knew that this vision had been one of the bad ones. The haunted look in your eyes hinting towards death in the near future.

“We need to go.” You frantically replied, grabbing the pizza that would hopefully have a hand in saving three hopeful teens.

Your gym teacher would be proud of the distance diminished and speed you kept towards the area that would further shatter you. Foreseeing death and sometimes unable to stop it always had a nasty impact on you.

“Where are we going?” Harper yelled, “We’ll miss the doors opening!”

“We’ll miss them if we don’t hurry up!” You shouted back at the disgruntled little sister but at the moment that didn’t matter.

What mattered was three hungry teenagers about to gorge themselves on death dogs if you didn’t make it in time. It appeared for the first time you’d actually manage to stop the deaths, unlike the previous three times.

“-tonight. Everything changes.” The chill-inducing rasp helped navigate you to the disgusting couch. Your cold hand slammed the hotdog from the blonde’s hand, the shocked reaction halting the other two.

“Don’t...eat...it.” You heaved bending over at the waist to catch your breath. Wheezing sounded from your little sister as the running and seeing her favourite band up close settled.

“Excuse me! I paid for that hotdog!”

“You’d be buying yourself death literally. Your dreams of playing the Orpheum would be extinct.” You sighed, chugging the water from the pocket of Harper’s backpack for a few seconds before the owner took it back.

“Okay, look I don’t know how you found us but-”

“You don’t have to believe me ’cause I sure as hell wouldn’t have but don’t jeopardize your dreams. Look my little sister wanted to see your show so I brought her and we ordered a pizza. They fucked up the order by giving us an extra-large pizza. We’ll barely eat a quarter of it, and the venue is strict on the rules.” You rambled using tour hands to elaborate the story before Harper roughly elbowed your ribs, “Ow!”

“Oops.” Harper faked a sugar-sweet smile for your benefit as the interaction with the three musicians slowly dove into embarrassment.

“-sorry. You’d be doing us a favour by not wasting our money and food. What do you say?” You hesitantly asked the trio who didn’t speak vocally; their eyes meeting in a silent conversation.

Reggie sighed as he begrudgingly dropped his hotdog in the bin near the couch, “Pizza outranks street dogs even if the dogs are heaven and to die for.”

“Literally.” You grumbled forcefully pushing the obscenely large pizza box into the middle one’s stomach, “I’m Y/N, this is my little sister Harper.”

“Hi.” Harper shyly waved with cheeks turning a dust pink concealed by the dark of the alleyway. The boys’ lips all quirked at the sudden contrast from the confident sister slamming her elbow in you to the bashful teen.

“I’m Luke. This is Reggie and Alex.” The hooded one, Luke, introduced his bandmates as best he could with his hands occupied by the pizza box.

Without the threat of death by the hot dog, you actually took the time to look at Luke with appraising eyes. His eyes were like oceans of blues, greens and even a brown that both exhilarated you; the desire of studying them not surprising. His smile outshone the sun on the hottest day in August.

“Nice to meet you.” You informed the trio with a beaming smile that matched your starstruck little sister. The interaction gave you the opportunity for immense and untiring future teasing on the teen that daydreamed of the bassist.

You had to admit the trio were incredibly attractive.

“Come back to the dressing room. We can eat there out of the cold.” Alex courteously invited the two formerly strangers. His blues sharing his pure intentions to repay you for saving their lives and offering pizza.

“Of course.” Harper nodded her head with her eyes barely meeting the ones of the boys. The shell was broken when Reggie piped up.

“That’s a really cool pin! Where’d you find it?”

Gated Community, Los Angeles, 2002

An off-tune humming filled the modestly sized home in the suburbs of Los Angeles, California with the sound of water splashing. Doing the dishes was a mindless chore that typically didn’t bother you, but the pain in your lower back protested. You’d have used the dishwasher, but the thing was perpetually breaking down. Didn’t seen essential to replace when washing dishes by hand was just as productive.

Or it was when you didn’t have the extra weight in your midsection, a symbol of your love with your husband. In fact, you would have avoided doing dishes if you hadn’t just used the last clean plate and glass at breakfast plus Luke hadn’t been home in the previous week.

Sunset Curve had gone on a press tour for the upcoming album and tour planned for next year.

“Oof.” You moaned as the little rascal once more hit your bladder, “Are you breaking electric guitars in there?”

“Not a soccer player?”

“With you as their father? Not likely.” You snorted as the sudden appearance of Luke became clear. You hadn’t been expecting him, “I missed you. We missed you.”

As had it since you first told him Luke’s warm hand came to rest on the front of your swollen belly. In a short month, you’d be cradling the newest member of the Patterson family with Luke singing the lullaby he solely made for baby P.

“Still haven’t given in?” The lead guitarist teased you with a beaming smile splitting his face, “Go sit down. I’ll finish the dishes.”

You didn’t need to be asked twice.

“I’m not abusing my clairvoyance to foresee our child’s gender, name and appearance.” You pointed one finger in his direction, “I refused Bobby’s pleading to see which models he would bed. The only time I did something like that was to reassure Alex that he would fall in love with a lovely guy.”

Luke’s heart burst with sheer adoration at how easily you had sunk into the friendship with the band after that one night. A night that had given birth to a friendship that slowly evolved into a romance and marriage. To this day, the group got together as much as possible.

“I love you.” Luke chuckled, “Even-”

“-if I came into your life like a completely crazy person?”

“We’re all a little crazy.”

Your house surely would be when a little tornado with Luke’s energy took over the home you’d made with Luke. The very home you would have more children and grow old together until soon you held your grandkids on your laps.

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#luke patterson imagines #luke patterson x reader #julie and the phantoms imagines #luke patterson x y/n #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson #charlie gillespie imagines #sunset curve #jatp luke #jatp fanfic #luke jatp #caitsy and ash productions

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issabangtanfic · 3 years ago

Text

[Jungkook] The Windmill House (Chapter 12)

Synopsis: When your stereotypical Christian Grey meets his not so stereotypical Anna

Masterlist

Pairing: Jungkook x OC

A/N: Feel free to submit a cover! Tell me what you think in my inbox! Enjoy!

Honestly, after seeing Mrs Choi for the first time, I had no idea she would be one of those eccentric client who asks for a ridiculously edgy concept for her home.

It's always the most normal-looking ones...

I look away from the blueprints spread across my desk when I hear my phone buzzing. When I check I see it's a text message from Sidney.

Squidney : Wanna come home for your lunch break? I made lasagna

Her text makes me smile a little. We haven't been talking much ever since that fight after the inauguration party.

She made me feel like I was the unstable kid no one in the family trusts to take care of themselves. And honestly it's probably true that no one trusts me, but I feel like my words are not going to prove anything so I just have been focusing on work and not talking to her very much.

This text is definitely a truce appeal. And I don't like not talking to Sidney, but at the same time I don't know how to feel about the fact that every time I will tell her anything about Mr.Jeon or any other man she will probably disapprove, but not tell me so we don't fight.

I’m scared of the hypocrisy.

“A windmill house?”

When I look up from my phone, I see Joon who had been brainstorming with me this morning, flipping through my folder.

“Focus.” I tell him, snatching it from his hands before he can find the contract I just printed out for Mr.Jeon.

I don't know how to make a contract so I just used one of our standard ones and put my name on it.

“In London?” He inquiries, sounding excited. I know right?! But I can’t be talking about this with you.

“Namjoon.” I admonish.

“Okay.” He gives up, sliding off my desk and looking back at the blueprints.

“I can give you an alcove, but not windows.” He says, pointing at the kitchen area. Wait what?

“I thought that was doable.” I retort.

“It is, but we’d need to restucture the entiere building. We don’t have the budget nor permission for it.” He explains. Well, he could just have said no when I asked him!

“Okay.” I murmur. So without concave windows. we're going to have to create the roundness inside the apartment.

“Don’t sulk.” I hear Joon coo next to me.

“I’m not, I’m thinking.” I reply, retracting my pout and releasing my frown.

“Move the pantry here.” I propose, pointing at the space between two windows. One's in the kitchen, the other in the living-room.

“Here?” He doesn't sound convinced.

“We can use the gap between the old and new partitions as storage. And put the alcove here. It’ll be the limit between the kitchen and the living room." I explain. At this point I don't see any other option.

“That I can do. That’s actually a great idea.” Joon nods. Cool!

“Good Job.” He compliments, fist bumping me before exiting my office. Once I'm alone, I quickly text Sidney back.

Me: Lasagna sounds great, syl

I’m back home by 12:30, and when I open the door the delicious smell of cooking meat invades my nostrils. Just as I close the door, Juno trots up to me with her tail wagging happily.

"Hi Juno!" I beam at her, kneeling to scratch her head. She looks so cute with her little blue bandana around her neck. She barks hello, and I drop a kiss on between her eyes.

When I walk further in, I find Sydney tying her hair up in a bun with a chopstick behind the kitchen counter. The table is set for two.

"Hi." She smiles at me.

"Mmmmmh... lasagna!" I sing, tossing my bag on the couch. I join her in the kitchen and kneel in front of the oven. "Smells amazing." I observe. The lasgna is almost ready, I can see the meat juices bubbling under the cheese. She really makes the best lasagna.

"Thank you for the food, Sidney." I thank her, standing up and pecking her cheek.

"You're welcome." She hums, and even though we still haven’t talked about our fight, I know I can’t stay mad at her.

Since everything is set and all that’s missing is the lasagna, we both sit down at the table and open a beer.

"We haven't been hanging out much so this is great." I say after we clink our bottles.

"I know, I wanted to say I'm sorry." She replies, looking at me with sad eyes.

"It's fine, really. I know you're just looking out for me." I counter. It was a silly argument. Ultimately, I understand her. I wish she didn’t think this way, but I understand where this is coming from, and I can’t be expecting anything else from her. Or anyone from my family.

"No, I'm sorry for making you think I don't trust you." She argues. "I'm just scared."

"Listen, I know how similar these two men are. Trust me, it's been weird for me too." I say reassuringly. "But somehow he hasn't made me feel how I'd be feeling before." I add. "Quite the opposite actually."

I frown as the words leave my mouth. It’s only hitting me now that in a way, Mr.Jeon is nothing like the type of man he looks like. I have all these preconceptions about him, and while he still hasn’t proved me wrong, I can’t say I feel like I’m right about him yet.

"And I don't know what to do about it." I mutter to myself, drowning half of my sentence in the neck of my bottle. There’s a moment of silence, where Syd seems to be hesitating to speak.

"I just don't want to lose you again." She admits after a beat. I know everything comes down to that. I reach across the table and grab both of her hands.

"I know. And whatever happens I'm not letting him or anyone pull me away from my family." I affirm, looking straight into her eyes. "It's not happening again." I promise. She smiles and nods, seemingly reassured.

"You know," She trails off, rmoving her hands from mine and resting her chin on her palm. After all this time you've been part of my family, I still didn't think you liked Asians."

"What the hell?” I laugh out loud. This girl!

"I don't know, I just never thought of it." She giggle with me. I shake my head at her as our laughter fades.

"Promise me you're being careful." She demands quietly.

"I am being careful, Sidney." I promise. "You know, what made me really mad the other day was…”I pause, looking for the right words. "That somehow you think I didn't learn my lesson?"

"No, that's not what I think." She shakes her head vigorously. "I just-" She pauses and thinks for a second. "I trust you, but I worry still." She says.

I’m not expecting any less from her.

"I think..." She trails off, but chokes on her words, and her eyes become shiny with fresh tears. Oh, no!

"Sidney, come on." I scold as she blinks her tears away.

"Shut up, let me talk." She snaps, aborting the waterworks. She sighs deeply, her eyes still very wet. I hate seeing her like this.

"I think seeing you with a man brings back a lot of memories." She explains, her voice still shaking. "Your therapist said your first relationship after B-"

"Woah woah woah, who talked about a relationship?" I stop her dead in her tracks. I understand her worry, but I’m not trying to date anyone. Yes, Mr.Jeon and I are flirting, but we both know what to expect.

"Even a quick shag, she said it's bound to bring back memories." She argues.

"I told you, he still hasn't made me feel like that." I retort.

"I know, and that's great." She says. "But we also had our own trauma that me and your parents and everyone else went through." She argues.

"And obviously it's not as dramatic as it sounds but,” She says, shaking her head. "Knowing that you're potentially seeing someone, it kinda feels like PTSD." She says to me.

"I understand." I reply. I guess, neither me nor my family is prepared for me seeing someone again. After all, it’s something that I hadn’t thought of in a while, not even once.

“And if I feel unprepared for you being out there again, imagine how your parents will react.” Sydney adds.

“I’d rather not.” I reply. Honestly I’d rather stay single.

“It’s going to feel so sudden for them, because they’re not even witnessing the talking stages-“

“I’m not dating this man.” I remind her. I won’t have to introduce anyone to my parents for still a very long time!

“Still.” She retorts. “It’s going to be difficult for them. And they’re probably going to make you feel worse than I did.” She says as a warning. She’s right. My parents will probably reject anyone I bring home out of pure protectiveness, without even trying to get to know them.

“But always out of love for you.” She adds. My mind is reeling. Me getting a boyfriend will be such a headache.

“Let’s postpone the moment as much as possible then.” I sigh, grabbing my beer. “Shagging only.” I toast, and it’s like a promise at this pont. Sydney laughs at me, but still mimics me.

“Shagging only.” She repeats after me.

After a rather calm day at work, I drive down to Mr.Jeon's office in the City. It's a place I've never been to in the 2 years I've been living here in London, because why would I? I earn half of what the worst paid people here make.

My red mini doesn't fit between this tall grey skyscrapers, Mercedes and Audi's around me.

Mr.Jeon told me to park in the underground parking lot after announcing myself to the guard, before going to the first floor to announce myself again. The building is almost empty as it is past working hours.

After getting clearance, I'm escorted by a pretty brunette up to the 17th and last floor. I pass countless empty offices, until my guide stops in front of the sole lit up room. The wall is glass, so I can see about a dozen people inside.

"Mr.Jeon is in a meeting right now." The woman informs me. "You can wait for him right here."

She points at two chairs in the hallway placed by a closed office, right across from the meeting room.

"Thank you." I smile politely at her before taking a seat. The chair happens to be placed near the back of the meeting room, where I finally spot Mr.Jeon, sat down at the end of the table.

The motion of me sitting down catches his attention. He looks outside and spots me. I give him a smile and a slight nod to say hello. He smiles back to me, before reaching in his pocket and pulling his phone out. He starts typing, and I receive a text seconds later.

Mr.Jeon : You're early.

No, he’s late.

Me : I didn't want you to fire me again.

I type back, press send and look up to dee his reaction. He smirks, looked amused as he types his answer.

Mr.Jeon : I would never. He writes back, followed by:

Mr.Jeon : You look very pretty today.

I purse my lips to stifle the unwanted smile creeping on my face. He's probably looking at me to watch me swoon and melt at his comment, but I won't give him this satisfaction.

When I look up, his eyes aren't on me. He's back into his meeting, looking straight ahead at the different numbers on screen across the table.

Me :��Texting during a meeting? I reply, deciding not to acknowledge the compliment. When he gets the notifications, he makes a quick matter of his response.

Mr.Jeon : Take the compliment.

Oh this feels like an order. This man would love to boss me around.

Me : I don't like your tone. I retort.

When he sees my text, his head immediately turns to me, his eyebrows raised and his eyes challenging.

I shrug a shoulder, indicating I don't care if he doesn't like what he just read.

The corner of his mouth jerks a little, and he rolls his tongue against his cheek to refrain a smile, before looking back at his phone. I receive a text shortly after.

Mr.Jeon : Take the compliment, please.

Me: No.

When he gets the text, his eyes shoot up at me, and he slowly shakes his head, seemingly amused.

But he doesn't reply. He instead focuses on the words being said inside the room. I watch as he suddenly frowns, and then start flipping through a pile of paper he has in front of him.

I don't hear what he's saying but he looks confused and slightly annoyed. He tells something to the man presenting, clearly reproachful.

Me: What's the meeting about? I ask out of curiousness. He doesn't look at my text until the issue is settled and his employee gives him a satisfying answer.

I'm already scrolling through my Instagram timeline when I get his response. Three texts in a row.

Mr.Jeon : Boring stuff

Mr.Jeon : And finances

Mr.Jeon : What are you doing tonight?

Of course he'd ask. I smile at my phone.

Me: I don't think it's any of your business.

Mr.Jeon : Why do you assume I'm asking for unprofessional purposes?

Me: Because you probably are

Mr.Jeon : I wish Maya

Me: It’s Miss Fair for you

Mr.Jeon : Are you staying for dinner, Miss Fair?

Me: I'll have to decline...

I'm only declining to play hard to get. I would love to have dinner with him. Heck, I know I would want to take it even further. But I should be careful. I just promised Sid.

Mr.Jeon sits up first, buttoning his dark blue suit and signaling the end of the meeting. It is now 7:15. Everyone in the meeting follows, gets up and packs up, while Mr.Jeon exits the room first. I rise from my seat.

"Miss Fair." He greets me once he’s at my level.

"Hello, Mr. Jeon." I smile it him, extending my hand.

"Sorry for making you wait." He says to me, taking my hand shanking it.

"No worries." I reply, very well aware of the female employee taking her sweet time exiting the meeting room so she can stare at me. Does everyone in his company want to fuck him? Probably honestly.

“Long day?” I ask him. I can’t imagine having meetings until seven.

“Indeed. And you’ve already made it better.” He replies, successfully earning a chuckle from me.

"I have that effect on people sometimes." I shoot back.

"It's not the only one you have." He concurs. Oh, please.

“Let me show you to my office.” He invites, before guiding me down the hall to the door at the very end of the corridor.

After tying a code, Mr.Jeon opens the door that leads into his office.

It's a big, almost empty room. The back wall is entirely glass, making for a sweet landscape painting of downtown London. He has a rather small desk, with a leather ergonomic chair and two other ones placed across from him. As I walk further in, I notice a black leather sofa against the wall near the door, a chest of drawers and storage spaces and a sad single tall plant.

"This place is so sad." The words are out before I can understand how rude they are. I spin around to face Mr.Jeon, who is closing the door behind us. He's frowning at me.

"I'm sorry." I stutter, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"I mean empty." I correct myself. He pauses for a second, and I believe the quick exhale of air he does after that is a quiet chuckle.

"I don't spend that much time here." He says in a way of explaining. "But I'll be happy to have you work on my office as well." He adds. This man always has his goal in mind.

"I'll think about it." I reply evasively.

“Have a seat.” He invites. I sit my butt on on the chair and watch him walk over to the left side of the room.

“Would you like something to drink?” He proposes. Thats when I realize the storage spaces I saw where built-in furniture.

“You have a fridge in your office?” I don't know why I'm so amazed.

“I also have a bathroom with a shower and the sofa’s convertible.” He replies. A bathroom?

“You spend nights here?” I ask him.

“Sometimes." He answers simply. Woah. "Wine?” He offers.

This man is always trying to get me drunk! Or maybe he's just trying to make me stay.

“I just need a quick signature.” I decline politely.

“Where’s the rush? Aren’t you off work?” He retorts.

“I am, but I'm not drinking tonight Mr.Jeon."

"Okay." He doesn't push, and instead closes the fridge and walks back to me. He takes place in his seat while I fish into my bag looking for my folder.

“This is the contract I prepared for you.” I announce once I've found it. I pull it out and place it on the table.

“This is just a standard contract from Union, I just put my name on it.” I explain, flipping through the first four page until I find the one where my payment is mentioned. I flip the document around and slide it across the table to he can read, but he doesn't even look at it, just watches me with intent. I tap down on the page.

“Fifteen percent.” I point out, since it’s the percentage we’ve agreed on. He doesn’t even look down at where I’m pointing at, just keeps staring at me with this cheeky smile of his.

“Where do I sign?” He asks me. This man, I swear.

I sigh in order to try and hide my amusement.

“I thought you needed to read it through.” I remind him.

“I changed my mind.” He retorts. Oh, I’m sure he hadn’t planned on reading anything in the first place… It’s so annoying that his cheesy tactics still make my stomach feel funny.

I break the eye contact first, looking at the contract while I flip all the pages. “You can sign here, and here.” I indicate him. I watch him as he clicks his pen and scribbles onto the paper.

“Thank you very much.” I say, grabbing the papers and putting them back in the folder.

“Anything else I can do for you?” He asks as I put back in my purse.

“I think I have everything I need.” I smile at him.

“Can I make a request, then?” He enquires, joining his hands on the table.

“Are you going to ask me to have dinner with you?”

“Will you say yes?”

“No.”

“Then no, that’s not my request.” He brushes off, shrugging. Oh?

“What can I do for you?” I ask him, resting my chin onto my fist.

“Can you answer my question as honestly as possible?” He asks, leaning a little bit closer to me.

“Sure.” I reply, hoping he's not going to be too indiscreet.

"That time when you called me after the inauguration of the Manor." He trails off. Oh, lord.

"What would have happened had I said yes?" He asks me. I take a second to remember the mindset I was in that night.

I was definitely very tipsy, but I also was very horny.

"I think we would've set a date." I reply."And after sobering up I would've chickened out probably." I say, because let's be realistic.

"Mmh..." He nods, still trying to read something in my eyes. Why is he asking me that anyways?

"Do you regret not accepting the offer?" I ask him. He's probably getting impatient. After all the farthest he's ever gone with me is touching my neck.

"I'm wondering what was different that night." He replies. "You were a lot more...open."

Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.

"Part of it was because of the alcohol." I argue.

"I figured." He says to me. "I was hoping it wasn't only that." He murmurs a little more quietly.

I stare at him for a second. Why does this small, unused part of my brain think he's actually trying with me?

"Can you answer my question?" I counter, mimicking him and joining my hands.

"Sure."

"Promise to be honest?"

He smiles a little when I say that, and his gaze grows warm.

"I promise." He murmurs softly.

"How many women are you sleeping with?"

"Zero." He replies immediately. OH SURE!

He doesn't even try to come up with a credible number. Why did I think he would actually tell me the truth in the first place.

I roll my eyes to the heavens, leaning back against my seat in disappointment.

"Maya." He chuckles, pushing himself off of his desk.

"I have been working since seven in the morning. I've had five meetings, no lunch break, and I have a flight tomorrow morning for Dubai where I'll have to meet 13 potential clients in less than four days," He says to me, slowly circling his desk so he's closer to me.

"All while attending boring society functions and pretending I care about how many cars my investors have." He says, leaning against his desk when he's right next to me.

"I don't have time for more than one woman, but most importantly I don't have time for lies." He reassures me. I don't know if I believe that, but that does sound like a busy schedule. I don't see how he could fit multiple women in there.

"Why waste your precious time on me then?" I sass, because why not? I cross my arms over my chest and lift a challenging eyebrow at him.

"I wouldn't do it if I considered it a waste of my time." He mimics me.

"Then why?" I ask, and he pauses for a second.

"I'm not sure." He says, shrugging. Oh.

There is a knock on the door that interrupts our discussion. Mr.Jeon slips off his desk and goes over to open it. I turn around out of curiosity, to see who’s behind the door. It’s his assistant Jimin.

"Yes, Jimin?" Mr.Jeon says to him. His assistant's eyes quickly scan the background and land on me. He then looks back at Mr.Jeon.

"Am I bothering?" He asks him.

"Be quick." Mr.Jeon replies. I might as well get ready to leave. I was just supposed to get a signature tonight. Chatting and flirting is fun, but it's getting late.

"Paul confirmed eight thirty tonight. Here are your keys." I hear Jimin explain to him while I look away.

"Thank you, Jimin."

"You're welcome. Goodnight." He says, and just like that he's gone. I get up from my seat and swing my bag over my shoulder.

When I turn around Mr.Jeon is is standing by the open door.

"You're leaving?" He asks me.

"Don't you have a date at eight thirty?" I remind him, joining him at the door. "With Paul?" I tease, making him chuckle.

"A date with Paul?" He laughs, opening the door for me. "He's not really my type." He says as I step out.

"And he's my personal trainer if you're wondering." I hear him add as he closes the door behind us.

"And you were ready to go have dinner with me?" I challenge as we walk down the corridor towards the elevators.

"I'll trade a workout with Paul for dinner with you anytime." He says smoothly, looking down at me. I huff out a laugh, shaking my head.

Once we get to the elevators, I press the call button.

"Why are you asking? Have you changed your mind about dinner?" He asks me.

"Not yet." I reply, turning to face him. He's standing closer to me than I expected.

He lets out a long sigh, shoving his hands in his pockets. I'm feeling playful.

"You could convince me." I tease, shrugging a shoulder. Just as I say these words, the doors to the elevator open.

"Convince you?" He repeats, his interest peaked. We step inside the elevator.

"How long do I have?" He asks me as I lean against the wall, grabbing the railing behind me. He goes to the opposite side to press the basement floor button.

"Just an elevator ride." I challenge just as the doors close on the both of us and the elevator starts moving down. An incredibly sexy smirk creeps across his face when I say that.

"What game are you playing right now, Maya?" He asks, eyes playful, taking a slow step towards me.

"I'm giving you a chance." I shrug, as he slowly approches me. I feel like he's going to jump me any second.

I should get him off his high horses.

"But you have to convince me..." I trail off, catching him trying to pull his hands out of his pockets.

"Without touching me." I murmur, when he's inches away from me. I swallow, all my confidence slowly leaving me. My eyes travel between his eyes and his lips.

Even though I just told him not to touch me, if he kisses me right now, I don't know what I'd do with myself.

"Without touching you." He repeats, looking both confused and amused. I nod, because I don't trust my voice to be steady enough.

I feel the elevator slow down prematurely, indicating an impromptu stop. Mr.Jeon steps back, and that's when I realize I kind of had stopped breathing.

I straighten my back and turn away from him as the elevator comes to a full stop. The door open onto a man pushing a cleaning cart. A janitor.

After stiff greetings, the employee pushes his cart in, taking place right between me and Mr.Jeon.

Well, there goes whatever was going to happen there.

The ride down is silent, and it seems like the storage room is on the basement floor as well because that's where we all get off.

Mr.Jeon and I let him walk off while we linger in front of the elevators. My mini also happens to be parked right in front of us.

When our eyes finally meet after he's gone, we're both tempted to laugh.

"You failed." I observe, facing him.

"Well, there wasn't much I could do, was there?" He chuckles. True, true. I wish I could know he was going to say... or do to me.

"Maybe next time?" I say, well aware of the inviting tone of my voice.

"Maybe." He nods.

"Have a safe trip." I add over my shoulder, walking over to my car.

"Thank you, Maya. Get home safe." He replies, watching me get in and drive off.

#jungkook scenarios #jungkook #jungkook smut #bts smut #bangtan smut #rm smut #rm scenarions #bangtan scenarios #park jimin #bts jimin #bts jungkook fanfic #jimin fanfic #jungkookxoc

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horansqueen · 4 years ago

Text

New Angel - Chapter 18

story masterlist [x]

chapter 1 ☆ chapter 2 ☆ chapter 3 ☆ chapter 4 ☆ chapter 5 ☆ chapter 6 ☆ chapter 7 ☆ chapter 8 ☆ chapter 9 ☆ chapter 10 ☆ chapter 11 ☆ chapter 12 ☆ chapter 13 ☆ chapter 14 ☆ chapter 15 ☆ chapter 16 ☆ chapter 17

NOTES

☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.5k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

NIALL

"I can't believe you brought me here." Millie sighed, shaking her head slightly but grabbing a ball anyway. "I can't play, you know it!"

"You mentioned not being good at golf, and at football, but you never said anything about bowling." I argued, trying not to smile too much.

"I mentioned sports in general!" she let out a bit louder. "I suck at all of them."

This time, I couldn't help my lips from curling big. It was finally friday and also the fifth day Millie and I were spending together. It was insane how fast time seemed to pass when we were together but I liked it. I also liked the fact that she was ready to follow me in my stupid ideas, and I was happy to follow her in her crazy ones. I had had many friendships in my life but nothing ever felt like this one. I was trying new things, learning things too, and even discovering things about myself that I don't think I would have found out without Millie's help. I knew it wouldn't always be entertaining the way this week had been but it could definitely be enriching forever.

"You can do it! I believe in you!" I let out, half-joking.

She raised her nose up and grimaced before shaking her head. "Don't be money on me, you'll quickly become poor."

I chuckled and she turned around, grabbing the ball and throwing it in the alley. It rolled around and quickly reached the gutter, making me press my lips together as I tried not to laugh. Okay, maybe she really sucked at it.

"Okay, this is confirmed." Millie let out as she walked up to me. "Bowling is still a sport. I suck at it."

I laughed and finally got up, waking up to her and grabbing a ball too. I was not the best at bowling but I was not so bad either, and I grabbed her arm on my way, bringing her with me. I handed her the ball and she frowned for half a second before grabbing it and I turned her around, placing her hands on the ball. She allowed me to move her fingers, staring at what I was doing and licking her lips. It made me smile more and I kept my hand over hers.

"Okay fist off, you need to relax a bit. You're way too tensed. You need to stay relaxed when you give the swing." I explained slowly, waiting a few seconds. "God, Mill, relax!"

She sighed but I finally felt her relax against me as I pressed my body slightly more against hers.

"Now you need to line up and not just throw the ball and hope it'll find the right way."

Millie's shoulders fell and she turned to me, frowning at me. It made me chuckle again and she raised her eyebrows.

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No," I argued. "I think you expect to be bad at it so you put zero effort in it."

This time, her traits softened and she licked her lips again without answering my comment. "Okay, and what else?"

"Your swing needs to be relaxed, but when you finally throw the ball, you need to some power. Aim for the middle. Oh, and twist your wrist on the left. Not too much, just enough, okay?"

"This is too much information at the same time."

"Come on, Mill. You can do it."

I took a few steps back but kept my eyes on her as she breathed in and out before finally throwing the ball. Instead to get in the gutter, it rolled in the alley and hit two pins that feel down. Millie turned around swiftly, her brown hair moving around her body, and threw her arms in the air, letting her head fall back slightly.

"Yes! I'm the bowling queen!"

I crossed my arms on my chest and started laughing at her reaction. Some people turned around to look at us and I rolled my eyes, a smile still spread on my lips.

"Yea yea, I'm still gonna win."

We kept playing for a while and even if I won all the games, she was getting better and better and for some reason, it made me proud of her. We walked back to my car and as I was driving home, I saw her took her shoes off and bring her feet on the seat, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"Maybe someday, we can go try playing golf together." she explained, making me raise my eyebrows in surprised before I glanced at her. "If you're ready to teach me, of course."

"Yea! Yea of course!"

She sent me a bigger smile and leaned her cheek on her knees, still looking at me. "Cool, you're a good teacher, and I actually had fun."

"That was the goal."

As soon as we walked back in the apartment, she walked to the kitchen and I rushed to my room, grabbing a pack of cards and joining her as she put two beers on the table along with a bottle of vodka. We sat in front of each other and I started dealing the cards.

It was a ritual we had with Louis on every friday night but even if we hadn't talked about it together, neither of us had expected Louis to be there. He was barely at the apartment anyway these days and the fact that Millie still had feelings for him made me think it was actually better that way. We both knew he was spending all his time at his girlfriend's but we didn't mention it. In fact, we hadn't talked about Louis, Grace or Summer at all on that day either and I was fine with it. We could spend time filling the lists and all of that during the weekend... or never.

Millie pushed her empty beer away and filled our shot glasses with vodka. We swallowed it at the same time and I saw her eyes water.

"Don't drink too much." I pointed out, my lips curling on the right. "We're having a party tomorrow night, and also you won't be able to see your cards."

Millie laughed louder than expected and she shrugged a shoulder. "I probably won't get drunk tomorrow, to make sure everyone's safe."

"That's very mature of you." I replied with a small smile. "Now show me what you got."

Her eyes met mine and her lips curled into a cheeky smile. "Are you ready to lose?"

Just as I was about to answer, we heard the front door open and we both jumped slightly, not expecting it. Louis frowned when he entered the kitchen and after a few seconds, his face changed. Maybe I should have felt guilty for doing something with Millie that he was normally a part of, but I didn't.

"Shit, it's friday already?" he asked, placing his hands on the table and leaning closer. "Why didn't you guys remind me?"

"We just thought you were busy." Millie mentioned, shrugging a shoulder and looking at the cards in her hands.

"Maybe I could invite El?" he asked, ignoring her innuendo. "She could play with us."

"No, she can not." my best friend quickly replied before I could say anything.

"Fuck off Millie, why are you acting like that?"

I kicked my friend under the table and cleared my throat to catch Louis' attention but his eyes never left Millie who wouldn't even blink.

"What Millie means is that it's a thing we had only the three of us, you know?" I tried to explain calmly. "It's our thing, and adding someone would just not work."

It took over a minute for Louis to finally move his body back, his hands sliding on the table before they fell on each side of him. I could feel anger emanating of him and I didn't really understand what made him so mad. After all, he was the one who was never here, he was the one who literally dropped us for his girlfriend, and he was the one who broke Millie's heart. If anything, we should be the angry ones.

"Well apparently, you guys don't need me anymore."

I was expecting him to storm off but it's Millie who got up quickly, her chair making an annoying noise as it rubbed against the floor.

"You're the one who doesn't need us anymore, Louis!" she pointed out, making my heart jump in my chest. "So you know what? You fuck off!"

Quickly, Millie threw her cards on the table and grabbed the bottle of vodka, rushing out of the kitchen. i jumped again when she closed the door of her room roughly and slowly got up, shaking my head and leaning myself with my hands on the table.

"Did you really propose to bring your girlfriend here? Are you stupid of what?"

i was talking low but I knew he totally heard how pissed I was with the tone of my voice.

"Shut up, Niall!" Louis quickly replied, his voice louder than mine. He searched for something in his pocket and shook it between his fingers. I frowned slightly until I realized it was Millie's list and my lips parted.

"You didn't have the right to read this." I pointed out, my heart skipping a beat.

"Oh yea? Well Millie forgot it in the living room!"

It was definitely an accident and somehow, I thought it could have just slipped out of her pocket when we were watching tv. She probably didn't know it was there and even if she did, she probably thought Louis wouldn't come back for a while and that it was safe. I knew it was wrong of me to blame him for checking a random paper but I was mad anyway.

"That is none of your business!" I let out, trying to snatch the paper out of his hand.

He pulled away just in time and I breathed in, trying to remain calm. "This is my fucking business! My name is all over it!" he argued.

"That doesn't make it your business!"

I was getting even angrier and at the same time, I just wanted to leave and join Millie. It was her I should be with instead to be arguing with Louis, which was most likely useless anyway.

"Oh but it's your business, right? Because you think I was not good enough for her! You think she deserves better than me!"

In a rough movement, Louis threw the list on the table and I quickly grabbed it tight as I remembered what I had written on it.

"She does! She fucking does, okay!" I almost yelled. "You didn't treat her the way she deserves! She deserves better!"

"And who's better, Horan? Uh? Who's better for her? You?"

The way he said the last word was like a slap in the face and without thinking, I moved my upper body back, still staring at him. I didn't want to pick sides at first but now I had done it without even thinking about it. I looked at my best friend and felt my heart drop in my chest. We were both fighting for no good reason and I hated it. I licked my lips and breathed in deeply before sighing.

"Look, I'm not gonna fight with you, okay?" I let out in a softer tone. "You and Millie... you went through something, and she needs time. Which works because you're busy too. I just want to be there for her, okay? Don't take it so personal."

"How can I not?" Louis pointed out, still a bit mad. "This is my name! This is me you're talking about!"

I sighed again and shook my head. "Just.. go find your girlfriend, okay? I'll see you at the party tomorrow."

Louis' eyes moved up and down on me and finally sighed too. "Yea, it's better I leave for now."

Without an other word, he walked to his room probably to grab a few things and I waited until I heard the front door close again. I walked to my room to get changed and turned all the lights off before walking to until Millie's door, knocking gently on it.

"Mill, can I come in?"

It took a few seconds and I heard the door unlock before it opened. Millie stood in front of me, staring in my eyes, and I noticed she got changed too. We stared at each other for a while and I raised my eyebrows, making her sigh but move away to let me in.

We ended up laying in her bed, under the covers, facing each other, and I kept silent for a while. Her eyes seemed to shine with the lights coming from her window and I realized she had been tearing up, maybe she even shed a few tears.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm.. I'm at that point where my heart aches because I love him but I know he's not meant for me. I know I was not happy with him. I know that what we had was not what a love relationship should be. And... realizing that hurts, too."

I let my eyes room on her face and it made me think about Grace. Perhaps I was exactly at that same place when it came to my ex girlfriend and although it did hurt, I was slowly getting used to it. Maybe I should give Summer a chance, after all? It was not good to stick or hang on to something like the relationship I had with Grace, or the one Millie had with Louis. We should both seek something better and I knew it. Happiness was possible, it just needed a bigger effort.

"That's a first step in the right direction." I explained in a whisper. "You're doing great, I'm super proud of you."

Millie's lips curled in a grateful smile and she pressed her lips together.

"Thank you. I'm proud of you too."" she murmured back. "You're gonna sleep here with me?"

"If you want me to." I proposed with a shrug as she nodded quickly. "Then I will."

She reached for the lamp near her bed and turned the light off before laying back down in bed. I started thinking about Summer and how I never really gave her a chance. I didn't love her but I really liked her. She was a pretty and sweet girl and I had no idea why I was rejecting her over and over again. I knew I needed time to make a choice but the more I was thinking about it, the more I knew my choice wouldn't be Grace.

"Niall?"

"Mm?"

"You're never gonna leave, right?" she breathed out, taking me out of my thoughts.

"Where do you want me to go?"

"You know what I mean." she whispered again, making my eyes flutter open. I kept blinking a few times until I could see her shadow in the dark. "I lost Louis, I don't want to lose you, too."

I reached for her hand on the mattress and squeezed her fingers as tight as I could. "I'm never gonna leave, I promise. I'll always be there for you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan love story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan au #my fanfics #newangel

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redrose-arrow · 3 years ago

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Duncan x Halt anon here!!! this is one of the last coherent hcs i have about these two (the rest are kinda random, just cute little things I think would apply to this ship) ANYWAY IM HAVINF THE TIME OF MY LIFE LETS GOOOO

OKAY SO CAITLYN’S DEATH. I’m imagining this is set sometime after the Early Years series, before Halt takes on Gilan as an apprentice; anyway, Duncan gets a letter one day from Clonmel and he opens it to see that it’s an invitation to the funeral of the Hibernian princess Caitlyn O’Carrick—it’s protocol that whenever someone Royal/generally important dies, a letter is sent to all kingdoms who are on good terms with the deceased/kingdom of the deceased informing them of the death (along with an invite to the funeral). This was only put in place because it’s not great fun to show up at a ball or party and be like “Hey how is [blank] doing?” only to have [blank]’s mother burst into tears and run out of the ballroom—kinda puts a damper on the evening (Duncan has learned this the hard way. He’s not keen on repeating that mistake, so he makes sure to read through all his mail carefully)

So he gets this letter, goes “Clonmel? funny, that’s where Halt is from” and puts it aside for a second to continue rifling through his mail. Then the lightbulb goes off on his head and he‘s like “WAIT, THAT’S WHERE HALT IS FROM” and dives for the invitation. There’s more information regarding the place it’ll be held (a private funeral service in Dun Kilty, which will then be opened to the public so they can pay their respects) and other details like what time, the dress code, etc etc, but all Duncan can think right now is: Caitlyn O’Carrick is gone. Halt’s sister is dead.

Then another thought: does Halt know?

Duncan is pretty sure he doesn’t—Halt doesn’t keep in touch with anyone from his past, not that there were many people he’d want to keep in touch with anyway. But Caitlyn was important to him, the one person who’d actually given a damn about him, and Duncan realizes with a growing sense of dread that he’s gonna have to tell Halt about her passing. Reluctantly he sends a messenger boy to fetch the Ranger (“not extremely urgent, but I’d like to see him by the end of the day”) and excuses himself to his chambers. Halt rolls in sometime around mid-afternoon with a “you wanted to see me?” Duncan, letter in hand, pit in his stomach, tells him to sit. “If this is about the seal that I allegedly carry in my bag,” Halt says as he sits, “then you should know that Crowley is a lying bastard who couldn’t tell a horse from a boat. I don’t know how he manages to hit what he’s aiming at with that eyesight, but—“ he cuts off when Duncan holds the letter out to him. He raises an eyebrow, meeting Duncan’s grim gaze. Without another word he takes the letter, unfolds it, and reads.

There’s no visible change in Halt’s expression; he’s stoic as always, but Duncan knows him now, sees the way his fingers tighten on the paper, knows by the way he stills that his mind is struggling to process the information he’s been given. Neither man speaks until Duncan breaks the heavy silence: “The funeral is in a week’s time. I’ve already written and sent a letter confirming my attendance at the service.” No reaction from Halt, so Duncan takes a breath and says, “I think you should come with me.” He goes on for a little about how he can station Crowley at Redmont in Halt’s absence, how he’ll explain Halt’s seemingly unnecessary company for the trip, precautions they can take so nobody recognizes his similarities to the King Ferris; then he trails off when he realizes that Halt’s not really listening, just staring blankly at the unassuming letter that brought his entire world to a screeching halt. Duncan walks over and rests a hand on the man’s shoulder: “If you decide to come with,” he says quietly, “I’ll be ready and waiting by the front gate at dawn.” He spares one last glance at Halt’s frozen expression, gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze and walks out. When Duncan returns an hour later, Halt is gone, and the letter is resting on the chair where he’d sat.

Three days later and Duncan’s ready and waiting, sitting on his horse with a pack pony shuffling impatiently behind them. It looks like Halt isn’t coming and he’s about to leave when he hears the familiar clop-clop of a Ranger horse, just as Halt rides into view on Abelard. He slows to a stop, and if the shadows under his eyes are a little darker than usual then Duncan doesn’t mention it. The two of them share a look; finally Duncan inclines his head, turns to whisper a few instructions to his chamberlain, and takes off, Halt following closely behind.

The funeral is nice enough; Duncan attends the private service, leaving Halt alone in their shared guest room, and later in the evening Halt slips away to watch the public service from the shadows. When he leaves, there’s a brightly coloured wildflower in his hand that’s gone when he returns. Duncan doesn’t ask. (He doesn’t say all that much, actually; the sight of the grave next to Caitlyn’s, a polished gray slab with intricate patterns and a marking etched into the stone that reads ‘HALT O’CARRICK, CROWN PRINCE’ has him feeling ill for the rest of the trip.)

I’m still not 100% decided on the details—I’d like to think that Duncan wanders around the castle a little bit, stopping to stare at the portraits of the O’Carrick family hanging from the walls and trying not to do a double-take every time he sees and/or hears Ferris talk. And how would Halt react to seeing Ferris again? I am ALSO not sure about this but in general I think it would just be a lot of Halt grieving quietly with Duncan standing by him in a silent show of support. (after all, it’s not like anyone else can be there—nobody else can know that Halt’s sister has died, and even if he did tell anyone the abridged version without the gruesome details, they wouldn’t fully understand how much she meant to him. Duncan doesn’t say “I’m sorry for your loss”, because he knows Halt well enough to know that the man despises empty platitudes. So he just...stays with him, and watches over him, and reminds him that he’s not alone.)

if I hadn’t already shipped Halt and Duncan because of your previous headcanon, I would now. It is absolute b e a u t i f u l.

I love Duncan’s conflicted emotions, Halt’s silenced anger - Halt’s supposed gravestone?? I never even thought of that but it’s an amazing detail. The dialogue is spot on, too.

You too, anon, THANK YOU for dropping this in my inbox. I TOO AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE

#again: what can i add to this?#it’s so so good #and already reads like a fanfic #i’m loving it #rangers apprentice #ranger's apprentice #halt o’carrick #duncan #ask redrose #ask redrosearrow

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oikawaplssteponme · 4 years ago

Text

PART 1 | previously: prologue | masterlist

pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem! reader

rating/warnings: swearing

synopsis: When UA’s hot heads, Katsuki Bakugou and you, are forced to put your hatred for each other aside and plan the third year Prom, things end up getting a little heated...

a/n: hi hi💛ahh so here is part 1 :)) so updates will hopefully be every two days or so but i can’t really promise that they will be super regular (but I’ll try). again, the taglist is open so leave a comment or send me an ask if you’d like to be added :)) and my inbox is always open for anything💕enjoy xx

•

one: the basement

“I wish I was planning prom! That sounds so fun!” cheered Mina.

“Trust me if I could switch places with you I would,” you groaned. You were finally back in the dorms after your little meeting with Principal Nezu, Aizawa, and Bakugou. You were sitting in the common area with your friends.

“So you and Bakugou are gonna be spending a lot of time together then huh?” mumbled Deku. You sighed.

“Ugh don’t remind me. The absolute last thing I wanna do is spend time with that asshole.”

“I know you aren’t talking about me Y/N,” interrupted Bakugou. He approached you all, Kirishima trailing behind. You stood up to face him.

“Me? Call you an asshole? Trust me Bakugou, I could call you worse,” you smirked. Bakugou clenched his fists.

“I’d love to see you try.”

“I wouldn’t-“ said Deku, taking your arm and pulling you back into the group.

“Lucky for you Katsuki that I actually care about graduating this year so I’ll save the ass kicking for later,” you smiled sarcastically. You sat back down in your seat. Bakugou sat down across from you.

“Hey Y/N, Bakugou, Mr. Aizawa was looking for you guys,” called Denki.

“Great, what does he want now?” You groaned. You got up and walked over to Aizawa’s office.

“Wait up dumbass,” said Bakugou. You ignored him and continued to walk.

You knocked on the door of Mr. Aizawa’s office. Bakugou stood next to you. A tired Aizawa opened the door.

“Oh good you’re here,” he said. He waved the two of you inside of his office. Aizawa pulled out a folder overflowing with papers and a set of keys.

“This should be all the information you’ll need for planning the dance and here is the key set for the basement,” explained Aizawa. He dangled the keys in front of you two and you went to grab them but Bakugou got them before you.

“No way I’m trusting you with the keys,” he said. You let out an annoyed huff and picked up the folder.

“The basement should have old supplies that have been used for past dances. You two can spend your free time after class planning and working down there. Make sure not to lose the keys or else you’ll get locked out or in. Got it?”

You and Bakugou nodded, then excused yourself from Aizawa’s office. You began to walk back to the dorms before noticing Bakugou’s change in direction.

“Hey explosion boy, dorms are this way,” you said. Bakugou turned to face you, shaking the keys.

“No students are allowed in the basement, I wanna check it out,” he explained. You sighed and ran after him.

As expected, the basement was dark and cold. It was clear that no one ever went down there unless they had to.

“Smells like shit,” said Bakugou.

“Must be you,” you sneared.

“Fuck off.”

Bakugou and you explored the dingy basement. There were two large tables in the middle of the endless piles of boxes. You decided to take out a box and start looking through it.

“All this old stuff is crap,” you complained.

“This whole situation is crap,” said Bakugou, who was just lying down on the table.

“Finally something we can agree on,” you mumbled.

“Listen, I don’t wanna deal with you more than I have to, so how about tomorrow we just split up the work and leave each other be?” suggested Bakugou.

“Isn’t the whole point of this punishment for us to get along?” You said. Bakugou huffed.

“We both know that isn’t gonna happen so might as well get this dance over with as soon as possible.”

“Yeah like I could ever get along with someone like you,” you muttered.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

“You heard me.”

Bakugou got up from the table and stood in front of you.

“Watch it Y/N.”

“Make me.”

Bakugou’s eyes widened but he just turned around and began to leave.

“Don’t even think about trying to lock me down here Katsuki!” You rushed up the stairs just as the door began to close.

God, I hate this guy.

The next morning you woke up and got yourself ready for classes. You got dressed and walked to your homeroom with Uraraka. You sat down at your desk.

“Good morning Y/N!” said Deku. You gave him a small smile.

“Hi Deku.” Izuku sat down at the desk next to you.

“I heard we are doing our Hero training on the new course today,” said Deku. Your eyes widened as a hint of excitement rushed through your veins. There was nothing you loved more than showing off your skills.

“I hope we do,” you smiled.

“Maybe we could partner up-”

“HEY!” called Bakugou. You turned to look at the blond, rolling your eyes.

“What do you want?” You asked.

“After school, basement, got it?” he said. You sighed.

“Yeah I know idiot. Just leave me alone until then.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

Your morning of classes went slow as usual. You ate your lunch with Deku and Iida and the others like you always did. Surprisingly enough you and Iida were pretty close friends. Somehow he was fine with dealing with you and your constant misbehaving.

“Y/N, you mustn’t stress Mr. Aizawa out anymore or else your consequences will be worse,” said Iida. You laughed.

“I doubt things could get any worse than dealing with Bakugou during my free time,” you said.

“Well he could be a powerful ally if you used your quirks together instead of against each other.” You turned to Iida, pulled his tie, and made him look you in the eye.

“Never will I work with someone like Katsuki Bakugou, got it?” You said firmly. Iida nodded quickly. You let go of him and smiled.

“Besides, he would probably just hold me back anyway.”

After lunch it was finally Hero training, your favorite part of the day. You went to get suited up in your Hero outfit. It was a skin tight bodysuit, colored red with black and white detailing. Your suit also came with gloves made with tantalum carbide, an extremely heat resistant material, so when you used your quirk you wouldn’t get burned. Lastly, you wore black boots and protective, yet still fashionable for your liking, sunglasses to shield your eyes from your bright explosions.

Since you needed heat to use your quirk properly, the longer you wore the suit, the more body heat and outside heat sources it would store away for when you needed to use your quirk. It was safe to say you had thought of every possible way to protect yourself.

You walked down to the new training ground with your classmates. You stood outside the gates, eager to hear what you would be doing today. Mr. Aizawa was in charge of your training today.

“Alright so today is going to be basic villain fighting 101. One team will be the heroes and the other will be the villains. Villains have someone held hostage and the hero's job is to save them and take out the villains. This is timed so if the hero’s don’t finish in time, villains win,” explained Aizawa. You all nodded in agreement.

“I have already picked your teams based on quirk compatibility. It’s often that Hero’s will have to work with other people, using both of your quirks efficiently. The teams go as follows,” Aizawa clicked a button to project the teams. You scanned the list for your name.

Group 1

Team 1: Todoroki and Midorya (villains)

Team 2: Y/N and Bakugou (heroes)

No fucking way…

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @bokutory @complimentaryhugsgirl @cloudswritings @kriswu46 @neodnyl @evivn1 @jazzylove @mileven-reddie ]

#willow.🌸#my hero academia #bakugou x you #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katuski x reader #katsuki bakugō #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha katsuki x reader #mha katsuki #hot heads.🌸

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