#a real ramble my bad
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So you know how the handmaidens don’t have last names technically cause of the whole anonymity/security thing? Would they use the queen’s name as a “last name” if they needed one for something (like travel documents or whatever)? I still need to read the Padmé books but it’s also not mentioned on wookieepedia so maybe that’s just not a thing but it definitely adds an interesting layer to the whole depersonalization/separation of self thing that they have going on. Just some thoughts I’ve been having.
these ARE interesting thoughts. i’ll admit im not super up to date on padme’s beyond-movie lore either: i’ve looked around at the books and comics and i think there’s some cool stuff in there, but also part of the appeal of padme for me is that when people try and reinterpret her, they typically end up transforming her. they make her infallible; they make her the Worst. she’s a character who it’s very easy to get wrong, as evidenced by 90% of fandom making her the Girlboss and moving on. so when it comes to filling in the gaps for padme’s lore i usually return to the movies, no matter how disinterested in padme’s heart they are, bc watching comic writer #56 waffle between her and anakin’s relationship as Toxic or Domestic is pretty tiring. (i know they’re doing their best too ! it’s just not fun)
if i’m just sticking to the movies when thinking about this, i’ll say it’s pretty obvious the handmaidens enter into this arrangement expecting to live their whole lives around padme. they are the shadows in every room she’s in, they die for her, they speak for her, they surround her. any and all handmaiden characterization we get in the movies is through their interactions with padme. even when they’re dying, they only speak of her and their duty. you talk about “travel documents” but it’s hard for me to imagine a reason a handmaiden might need to travel independently from padme, or why they’d need legal identification other than “handmaiden of naboo”. even with the handmaidens supposedly going on to have lives after padme, that’s not how they’re represented in the films. even if they do have political careers, i’d imagine they’d get into the naboo system by being known as a handmaiden, not a new identity.
i think the devotion of naboo’s handmaidens, who chose to forsake their lives and names at 14 until they die, is a solid parallel to the jedi, especially in a trilogy so obsessed with duality. that’s really where i’d start with questions of names and depersonalization. think of the jedi’s monk levels of isolation for the sake of the Cause, but the Cause in this case is a fourteen year old girl, and you are also fourteen. and even when you are an adult with grey hair and supposedly moved on, you will still bear the mark of being fourteen and having served and loved this girl.
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I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.
it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"
plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.
anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.
#blazing saddles#finx watches tv#finx rambles#I recognize that I'm saying all this as someone who's not black#but I am also saying it as someone with a basic understanding of race relations in the usa#and a basic understanding of sarcasm#bc it really does not take more than that to recognize what they're doing in this movie#it is NOT subtle#and it is very funny#mel brooks movies are kinda hit or miss for me ngl#men in tights is great if a bit too crass for my taste#spaceballs has great jokes but the central story lacks any real heart so it doesn't grab me#history of the world was just kind of unpleasant and then I switched it off#but blazing saddles? phenomenal#I could not stop laughing the whole way through#and the central story DOES have heart bc it's the friendship between bart and#whassisname#jim#the Kid#plus bart working out how to succeed at an impossible task#also frankly cleavon little just grounds the comedy really well even before gene wilder shows up and we get their chemistry#bc he's cool calm collected and constantly inviting the audience into the joke#but the character's not too cool to ever mess up or ever be silly#he makes bad choices and gets into bad situations and then has to get himself out of them#but it's.....oh wait duh there's a term for this already#he's the straight man#he grounds all the zany nonsense by being in strong contrast to it#and he does a great job of it!#anyway#point is I deeply enjoyed this movie and I'm glad I finally watched it
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)
#like guys. be real with me. how many options did you even try before turning to dark magic#nothing about the situation called for all that😭#in my mind they're like 22 and 25 here which makes it all even funnier#guys please just adopt a dog or something😭#nothing about either of you screams ready for parenthood#im so happy adrien agreste exists but the circumstances of his birth are so ridiculous#there is so much gabe and emilie couldve done besides this. they could have done anything#honestly knowing them(<-girl who believes she knows them) im not even convinced the infertility treatment wasnt working#I think they just both were so allured by the concept of a magic baby#they were like six months in and hadn't gotten pregnant yet and were like. well. I guess we're out of options! dark magic it is!#and made it everyone else's problem forever#these two wanted to be doomed by the narrative SO bad#honestly though being a 22 year old girl I kind of yet it. sometimes I see a cute baby and want one so bad maybe I too would use dark magic#maybe emilie agreste was just a girl.#anyway. sorry adrien that your parents were Like This but it is so so funny#anna rambles#ml#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste
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forgot to post this the other day but i gave myself a little nameless ghoul :3
#ramble#the band ghost#ghost bc#tattoo apprentice things#couldn't pull a line to save my life that day#i had to do SO much fixing#i'm going to say it was just a really awkward placement to do on yourself bc it's right under the knee when you cross your legs#the line weight and the shading saved it and the more i look at it the less i hate it#like if you're not LOOKING for imperfections it's fine. and considering it's the 3rd one i've done on real skin#and it's a lot bigger than the others. it's FINE#i know if i got this from someone else i would NOT think 'this is a terrible tattoo'#it's not perfect but it's not bad#my mentor has said i'm being too hard on myself and she's right akdhdhfh#i might go back once it's healed and even out the thick outlines but right now it doesn't need fixing at all
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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when will people understand that skinny shaming is a thing and that it is as wrong as any type of shaming? stop telling us to eat. stop telling us to gain weight. stop telling us that we're anorexic and should start taking care of ourselves. well in fact stop telling whatever you may think about our appearance. many of us aren't skinny by choice and if you're uncomfortable with our pointy bones then stop looking at us or deal with it! friendly reminder that inclusivity doesn't only work for larger body types. you never know what struggles lie behind a frail silhouette, but shaming will never ever be the solution
#my heart goes to anyone going through body shaming... you are beautiful!!!#vent#vent post#text post#txt#life#weight#tw weight#tw bodyshaming#tw eating issues#tw body image#body image#body weight#health#real#ramblings#ariana grande#had to tag her as well#istg christmas holidays can be rough#sorry it's a rant i needed to get out real bad
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interesting lore moment with the francophone yesterday (as in, it personally gave me brainworms) ft. qétoiles’ horrible, no good, stupid (lack of) self-preservation . subs in English, transcript below the cut
All spoken in French — translated into English subtitles
[Video transcript:
Etoiles: And, actually, I have a theory. Basically what happened is that I’ve just returned from a mission from Cucurucho.
Antoine: And what was the mission?
Etoiles: To do a dungeon, and to recover something from the dungeon.
Antoine: And what was this “something”?
Etoiles: And the “something” was a book that sorta says that I’m a test subject.
Antoine: A test subject?!
Baghera: What’s up with your arm? You’ve got a coded arm.
Etoiles: Uh, it’s from holding the shield, basically.
Baghera: Ahhh
(Pause)
Antoine: Watch out that it doesn’t contaminate you, or else you’ll turn into a code, man.
Etoiles: That’s impossible, man, I can’t be a code.
Antoine: That’s what the old codes said before becoming codes, you know.
Etoiles: No— well, we’ve never spoken.
Baghera: Maybe you shouldn’t be using the shield as much then, no?
Etoiles: Well, as it stands, I’ve been using it for a really long time, and my mind is still healthy, honestly. And the proof is—
Baghera: Well, half of his face took the brunt of it instead.
Etoiles: Yeah, but it’s not all there is, you know.
(Pause)
Baghera: Let me worry, Etoiles, right now.
Etoiles: You’re right. You’re right! But everything’s going well, I’m doing very, very well—
Antoine: It’s true that you look a bit sick.
Etoiles: Uh, yeah, for the past seven years, it’s a chronic illness, it happened—
Antoine: No, but not this one, the other— you seem even sicker, still.
Etoiles: Yeah, okay. Yeah but no, I’m fine. No, no, it’s fine, honestly.
End Video Transcript.]
#qsmp#etoiles#baghera jones#antoine daniel#étoiles#here’s a game see if u can spot the colour coded subtitle i fucked up#sorry if the editing is bad im trying my Best .#jay rambles#jay clips#ccetoiles going ‘hey it could be fun if i played a code’ looms ominously in the background#also shoutout to people who often do translations like these fr fr#this one wasn’t too hard 4 me (fluent in both langs) but it can be difficult to translate#the implicit meanings in certain sayings between languages#i took the liberty of translating the little affirmative ‘quoi’s at the end of sentences#as ‘honestly’s and ‘you know’s since there’s no real equivalent#21/09/2023
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no joke but what I really want for Buddy Daddies as a fandom is to make fanart and fanfic post present time ep12 where Rei wears an arm orthosis when working.
I think varied disability aids being represented would be fantastic, and personally would write Rei as someone being deeply proud of something he's done for his family, but also understanding with time that using an orthosis also helps him at work and in raising Miri. with a giant portion of mobility/motorics aids being represented by prosthetics, seeing more variety and exploring it in fiction would also help making a step in normalising disability treatments.
#that's my personal opinion and i just thought about how understanding more about physical disabilities#and how to help people with those aids in case something happens and they ask for help#has furthered my understanding and might even help me in the future if i were ever to experience that#Buddy Daddies Spoilers#Buddy Daddies#Suwa Rei#(again. i want to write Kurusu Rei SO BAD)#text post#Varya rambles#also drawing an orthosis would be real complicated for an animated work so i understand why they chose to hide the arm#but i really like the headcanon of Rei using it sparingly 🥺 not everyone uses them all the time#+ it's also not healthy if worn all the time. looking @ people who'd let their characters sleep with their prostheis on. smh#and this is also NOT a 'you HAVE to do this'! just something I think would be fantastic#...also I'm like. apparently looking @ a start of a fic where Rei uses it?? is my writer's block finally over?!#here's a hoping 🙏buddy daddies such a good anime. not perfect not extremely beautiful. but GOOD in HEART#1k
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Proving once again that whining about my problems on tumblr is in fact a solution- I just got sent a spare Steam Link from @hejpansk after complaining that I can’t watch my computer shows on the TV.
And NOT ONLY did this precious soul send a Steam Link but ALSO some amazing stickers from @acorviart an artist I follow with delight and original bird prints! Absolutely delighted and excited and I shall celebrate by watching Over the Garden wall from the comfort of my couch!!
#ramblies#I’ll have to do my testing with it tomorrow#the booster hasn’t hit me as bad as it could’ve but the fatigue and headache are very real#excited to find homes for these stickers
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oral exam tips
I have at least one other post on exam tips, but they were mainly focused on giving tips on history exams. To me oral exams in academia have been the norm since high school, but I know that in other countries that might no be the case, so I decided to write down a list of advices coming from someone who is quite used to this kind of tests.
If you aren't used to having oral exams, you might need to change your study method, or at least add a few steps. I recently made a post entirely dedicated to my study method, which might be useful for this, but what I suggest is to add a step in which you review things out loud. What I would do is to just sit down with your notes or your materials and pretend to give a lecture on everything. Even better if you have a friend or family member to listen to you, because by having an active listener you will be forced to not skip stuff and have clear explainations, and they might ask you questions or clarifications. Those are always good because that might happen during the exam as well, but also it will help you memorizing those things. I recommend reviewing out loud multiple times. This way you will get more comfortable with the exposition of the topics you will be tested on, and you'll have a chance to find your own "voice".
by finding your own voice I mean finding a good compromise between using your own words to explain things, while still using the correct specific vocabulary of whatever topic you'll be tested on. This is fundamental. You are not there to recite a poem by heart, you are there to show you have understood the topic, that you sat with it and made it yours. You have to show you know how to clearly explain things but also reflect on it, making links with other things, and so on. At the same time there's some academic and specific vocabulary you want to include, because you are not in fact discussing the topic with a friend. So practicing out loud before the exam is good to find a good compromise between these two things.
I kind of mentioned it already, but it is absolutely fundamental to show that you understood the topic and not just memorized it. Whatever you do do not learn things by heart. It's better to be slightly insicure about a specific date, than to repeat your book word by word. And if you practice enough, and are comfortable enough with the informations in general believe me you can work around those things you can't remember perfectly well as you are being tested. Moreover your mark on the exam will be much higher than if you just learn things by heart.
on the very delicate topic of not remembering something specific you have been asked. Don't panic, you can still kind of save it. Whatever happens do not stay silent. There are several things you can do depending on whatever the question is, and I will later tell you a very specific example of something that happened to me. As I said do not panic, surely you will remember about some context on the topic so start by talking about that. As you are giving the context you might start to remember additionals informations, or you might build up enough informations to be able to logically guess whatever you are not remembering correctly. If you are half sure about something go for it, even if it's the wrong info if you contextualise it well enough you'll show you knew about that and it might just be read as a slip of you confusing two things. Now there might be situations in which the question is so direct that you can't do much, it happened to me once during my Greek history exam. I was asked the specific date of an event, and I could not for the love of the gods remember it. You know what I did? I told the professor, I cann't rememebr the exact date, but giving certain informations (that I then explained) I can tell you it was more or less in this half of this century. What I did was admit a fault, but while doing that I showed her that I knew what we were talking about it, I had enough informations on the matter to logically place it on the chronological line and contextualize it, and showed her that I can in fact work with the informations I studied. And at the end of my exam the professor complimented me on those exact things, saying she appreciated seeing me use my brain instead of midlessly memorizing informations I didn't understand.
So whatever happens do not stay silent. Anything is better than that.
Another potentially bad thing that might happen, and believe me it happened to me multiple times, is panicking so bad that you cannot get the words out, or confuse things. You know what happened everytime I found myself in that situation? The professor clearly saw me panicking, and told me to calm down, wait a couple of minutes, get my ideas in order and try again. And I got good grrades despite that in the end. You are under a lot of pressure, because you are giving an exam, and you have to be quick and ready instead of being able to reflect like with a written exam. Professors know that, and they keep it in mind, and they can tell when you are mixing things up because you are nervous, and not because you don't know things. I once had a professor look at me in the eye after i mixed up numbers on two dates twice in a row, and told me I know you know them take two deep breaths and try again. And I did. I have so many personal stories from my previous degree in which professors saw I was nervous and told me that it was okay I just needed to take a minute and breathe, and honestly that was exactly it. It was okay and I really needed to breathe, and then the exam when well.
The best tip I can give on answering questions is to balance the actual answer of the question with additional informations. You want to give context and add more infos to whatever has been asked to you, but you should also try not to lose focus on what was being asked. My personal way of doing this is to structure the answer in three parts: 1. general context that works as an introduction to the actual direct answer 2. the actual answer 3. further additions like more context, comparaisons and links with other topics or informations you had to study. This way you show off you know things, you make sure to show the professor you are not just rambling because you don't know the answer, and finally show you are comfortable enough with the informations to reflect on them and link them to other things. Ideally the professor will stop you while you are speaking, that in my experience is the best possible sign, because they are satisfied with your exposition and want to move onto other things.
So always build up on the answer to the question you have been asked. Never stop at just the information that serves as an aswer. You studied, it's your time to shine and make yourself proud.
Contextualizing your informations is absolutely fundamental no matter what, again because it shows you have a clear idea about what you are talking about. This can mean making a small introduction on the time and place, if you are an historian like me, or maybe give an introduction on the person you are talking about (whether they are an historical figure or a scholar you are talking about). Adding the little informations you weren't asked about is great. You are briefly mentioning an even and know the date? Add it in. Everything is a good addition.
Again I have definitely already mentioned in previous points but showing you are capable of reflect on the topics you are talking about is always a bonus. Make sure that when you are giving personal options or personal reflections you are stating this is your thought, but that is usually appreciated. After a good exposition of a topic you might even get the professor asking you your opinion on certain things. It happened to me multiple times, often I was asked to give an opinion of books I had to study for the exam, and that always prooved as an oportunity to add more informations and as I said show that I could make reflections of my own.
Last thing, that again kind of came out from other points, is that you want to show you are comfortable enough with the topic to be able to jump from one point to the other while reflecting on things or making comparaisons.
I am pretty sure I have forgotten something, but once again if you have specific questions I am happy to help, my inbox is always open. I know people who aren't used to oral exams are very scared of them, but as long as you try to approach it like a normal conversation on the topics you had to study, and you have practiced, things will be fine. To be quite honest with you after years of experience I'd say I very much prefer oral exams to written ones, because you can in a way shape the conversation and bring it to the topics you liked the most, know best. I hope this post was somewhat helpful to someone out there, and good luck if you are about to take an exam!
#i have kept the post positive and avoided horror stories of professors being rude#there's always the possibility in my personal experience it's more likely you'll find someone humane who will approach you with kindness#in case you happen to find an asshole which sadly sometimes happens and it definitely happened to me remember that they are just an asshole#and nothing more#you'll get throught it#and i am manifesting more kind and not intimidating professors#tbf one of the most intimidating looking profs i have met has been one of the kindest and calmenst people ever#back in my other degree i was panicing real bad and he was so cool with it he totally got it and was super kind about it#anyway i'll stop rambling#also i am very sleepy so i might have missed some typos or badly structured sentences in that case ooops#studyblr#studyinspo#uniblr#historyblr#study tips#exam tips#oral exam tips#university tips#uni advices#study advice#mine#the---hermit
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*Annoying old man voice* These botw fans have it too good, back in my day your favourite npc would appear once in a vaguely obscure title and then get forgotten by Nintendo forever
#This is a goof akskdk#Nobody in the loz fandom has it good 😔#Also Hywar wasnt my thing but we gotta pog abt the fact Nintendo aknowledge some characters do infact exist#Even if... It was a spin off by another studio#Man why cant albw have a vaguely bad prequel spin off game where I kill thousands of creatures with a war machine#While Mipha talks abt how gentle and pleasant the war machine is#Anybody else find that part real wack?#Anyway Im in a rambly mood today dont take anything Im saying too serious
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Noah fence but if you can't handle thinking about the actual story of Mouthwashing and you just want to imagine silly found family scenarios with the crew on the Tulpar then maybe you shouldn't be engaging with HORROR media...... just a thought.
#mouthwashing#100% gonna regret tagging it but whatever it's been on my mind a lot recently#i feel like mouthwashing absolutely should not have been fandom-ified the way it has been#I'm not saying that no one should enjoy it. I'm not saying that no one should make silly memes or hcs or fanart#I just feel like all the people who are like#“mouthwashing but nothing bad happens and everyone has a good time and Jimmy is a normal person and/or dies”#are kind of..... severely missing the point of the game#it feels almost disrespectful in a way. this game was clearly trying to communicate some heavy stuff#and ppl are just throwing that all away to play with the characters like dolls#I mean obv it's not really my business how other ppl engage with media but scrolling through the tags I'm like. man cmon#anyway Daisuke is my newest chew toy blorbo but if I try to draw him I need to actually be put down for real#rambles#(it's too late btw I already sketched him bc I was annoyed by seeing all the fanart where he just has a gash across his face)#(he got an AXE TO THE FACE)#oops it's 5 am lol
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Sillies
#no damn clue why I posted this but silly#I LOVE how Tsukasa and Akito line up with each other and Rui and Touya line up with each other#It wasn't intentional Akikasa and RuiTouya are real I stand by my blog description#rasazy's ramblings#☕ touya tag#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#prosekai#pjsekai#hatsune miku colorful stage#project sekai colorful stage#hatsune miku project sekai#shinonome akito#akito shinonome#aoyagi touya#aoyagi toya#touya aoyagi#toya aoyagi#tenma tsukasa#tsukasa tenma#kamishiro rui#rui kamishiro#vivid bad squad#vbs#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#fantasista squad
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As someone who read the second half of the Drizzt series as it came out (yes I'm that old lol), I just know you have thoughts about him/the books so PLEASE share! So glad there are so many younger DND players getting into it and keeping our lovely boy alive <3
YOU'RE SO RIGHT ANON I DO HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM
i just!!!! love him!!! so much!!!! he's such a treasure
idk if this is me just overthinking things but the fact that he's THE dnd hero but he's also like. a petite little guy and his defining character trait is being KIND and he loves his friends and he's very physically affectionate (which feels kind of crazy to me that the early books came out so long ago and he was always like that??) and his best friend is his cat and he likes to have FUN and he treats swordfighting like dancing and he STILL sought the approval of his family even after years of abuse aND HE JUST LOVES EVERYONE SO MUCH
he's truly the fantasy protagonist of all time i love him i need to kiss him on the forehead
#ramble#legend of drizzt#i love that people just Know how i feel about him akdfhdfh#i am nothing if not consistent#spoilers ahead for these decades old books lmao#and also it's wild to me that he has VERY obvious ptsd/survivor's guilt but nobody outside of the drow make him feel less than for it???#ngl it was a slog getting through the opening of book 1 but then he started drawing on the floor with his feet and i was in love with him#i am SO excited to take him to mcm in may#i never do cis male characters but i'm also a short king so i feel weirdly comfortable akdhdfh#i'm cooking an essay in my brain about the drow bc i have so many thoughts#disclaimer: i do practice media literacy. i know these books aren't perfect and a lot of dnd lore is. bad#there's a lot of it where i'm like 'hm i don't feel good about the real world connotations this has'#tbh i think all you can do is say 'this was problematic then and it is now so let's acknowledge that it happened and not do it ourselves'
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you used to be such a baby.
#marking this for . Violence.#Uh. Ask to tag.#Been hesitant to post this and i might delete it if i get embarrassed . Whatever.#If it isn't obvious. Gordon's not really there .#I will do more rambling. Past the tags#Blood#cw blood#tw blood#violence#gore#that man has been. Brutalized. Eeeyikes !#Barney Calhoun#half life#gordon freeman#Barney's supposed 2 be a little younger here . Maybe in his 30s#something something seeing the specter of your long gone companion from a time you can never go back to judging your every move#because youre doing this because of him. Youre doing this for him.#Youre doing this for everyone. and he looks exactly the same as you get older#and your clothes become drenched with blood rhat isnt your own and why have you survived this long when others havent.#(You know why)#and then he does come back. for real. Not a ghost#not a figment of your imagination.#And he looks exactly the same#Or something. Lol#LISTEN . sometimes you get caught by a CP and they're gonna blow your cover and get everyone you love killed.#What're you gonna do.#I don't think Barney is a violent man. Far from it . I just think bad things happened. And I think he had to do bad things#WAVES MY HANDS. I ALSO JUST KIND OF WANTED TO DRAW BLOOD . and Barney is my Guy of the moment .#I think about him alot . I should talk about it more. Whaterver
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