#a punch up at a wedding

[clownscasino]

i still cant believe branzy called clown "my non-binary lover" and "my wife" in the same stream

[eustasskiddsprosthetic]

I have a terrible idea just now.

Do you know those consultants (?) the people who help brides decide on what wedding dresses to get for their wedding day. I feel like Ace would be great at that job. He might not understand aesthetics very well—he finds all that high key boring—but he would put the bride first in every decision he makes. He'd smile and his flirtish side would come out in complimenting the bride to encourage them. He has definitely beat up more than a few annoying entourage.

What if femlaw is a customer one fine day and Ace is absolutely smitten! He knows she's off-limits, like get it together she's getting married, but she's so pretty! Ace loves her pouty lips, piercings, tattoos and slightly muscular shoulders. She's also very shy and timid. To Ace, that meant very cute.

He's determined to help her find the dress of her dreams!

He's happy to see that she seemed to have a good man who's willing to pay whatever she wanted and seemed to treat her affectionately. She deserves that much, anyway. When Ace asked what she wanted for her dress, Law just looked away, very clearly embarrassed. He reassured her that whatever she wanted can't be 'that bad'! She just said she wanted something simple and figure-hugging. Ace said sure and went to work.

After thirty minutes, Ace returned with five dresses for her to try. Ace told her to knock the door three times when she's ready for him to add accessories. Law thanked him and closed the door.

Ace was surprised to hear her knock the door in just ten minutes. He closed his webnovel and walked inside. Fuck- She was stunning. Despite doing this for a living, he never wanted to get married but he was having second thoughts now. To have a beautiful woman willingly dress up, put in effort to feel pretty just to be with you was an honour.

Ace finally understood why some men would simp so hard for their wives. He sure hoped Law's man simped for her. A girl like that isn't common at all!

"Ace, can I be honest with you?" She said. She had only spoken a few words to him up to this point, and they were mostly pleasantries. He was surprised when she stopped him from putting the veil on her head, though he sensed there was a deeper reason than her not liking it. "I don't want to get married. I'm not ready."

"Oh?" Ace knew he looked stupid. "What made you realise that?"

"I knew it when I realised I love this dress," she said softly. Nearly tearing up, she said, "Which is why I don't see myself walking up to him in it. I don't think I love him as much as I think I do."

"What do you want to do? The consult is free, you're not obliged to buy anything-"

"I know. Thank you," she said. They looked at their reflection in the mirror. She looked so tired all of a sudden. She looked like she would pass out from exhaustion. Ace felt bad for her. "To answer you... I don't know. I've wanted to call it off for a while now. Might as well before I sign anything binding."

"How are you going to do that?"

That was when she laughed slightly. Granted it was a sarcastic laugh but Ace ate it up all the same. He knew he was falling for her.

"Again, I don't know. But I'm tired of waiting for a plan," she said. She smiled triumphantly at Ace like she was proud for even saying she wanted to rebel. That's it. Ace was gone. "I'm going to be reckless and I'm going to castrate him and take his money!"

Ace's heart squeezed.

"I'll help," he said easily.

She smiled like she accepted the offer. Ace fell in love for the first time in his life.

[trunklewunjle]

my babygirl || It was about time we included him in our roleplay <3

(I love lovely lad, marry me)

XGaster and Xalphys belongs to JakeiArtWork

Ink belongs to comyet

[fiercynn]

high school patpran who goad each other into an argument about who's a better kisser but instead of testing it out on each other, pat claims they need an "objective" third-party arbiter

pran is hurt that pat doesn't want to kiss him and annoyed at himself for being hurt and tries to hide it (meanwhile pat genuinely thinks this is a competition and that it has to be "fair"), so he shoots back "well i don't like girls, so kissing the same girl isn't a good data point"

pat is briefly surprised but then shrugs and says "fine, we'll find a guy to both kiss then" and then pran is surprised but isn't able to think of any other excuses. so they find a guy who is willing to be their guinea pig and they both take turns kissing him

teenage pat's kissing style is a little sloppy, but in a good way; he likes to kiss with his whole body, and the dude's hair is all messed up when he's done. (pran is obviously trying his hardest to both watch and not watch while they make out and it is doing DANGEROUS things to him)

when it's pran's turn, his style is different: slow, controlled, like he wants to take his time with it. the guy shivers a little and leans into it. (pat has...some feelings about watching pran kiss someone. bad feelings? his stomach kind of hurts. it's probably just nerves, worrying that pran will beat him. even though he doesn't usually feel nervous like this, usually competing with pran amps him up)

the dude, who has been to school with both of them for years and absolutely knows what's good for him, says what he's been planning to say the whole time: "you're both so good, it's a tie!" and flees with the candy they promised him for refereeing

and they are left staring at each other, both realizing they should have expected that outcome. pran rolls his eyes at pat. pat smirks and says, "well, i guess we're the only ones who can decide this, huh?"

and then they make out and fall in love and compete with each other for the rest of their lives the end.

[dreamyeyedrose]

listen if we brat summer our way out of fascism I'll fuckin take it

[tennessoui]

pbatmb anakin telling obi-wan “i’m not wearing that” for the four word prompts please!

so this is pbatmb anakin saying "i'm not wearing that".

but not to obi-wan.

(1.2k) (warnings: general pbatmb warnings apply? vaguely fluffy sorta disturbing, a few uses of daddy but not in a serious way)

There’s a thunk on the other side of the door. It could be either Cody’s fist or his head.

Anakin doesn’t particularly care. He stares directly opposite him, drawing his legs closer to his chest as he shifts on the marble floor.

“Skywalker, come on,” the man says, sounding impatient. Anakin sneers. “We’re going to be late.”

“Fuck you,” Anakin says, resting his chin on his knees.

“We’re going to be late and your fiance is going to think you’re getting cold feet and planning to leave him at the altar and he’s going to make it everyone’s fucking problem in the entire goddamn city. Including me.”

Anakin narrows his eyes, considering the words. He’s not—he doesn’t want Obi-Wan to think he’s running out on him. He’s in his suit, light gray with a golden pattern swirling through the fabric, pristine white shirt and tie, lingerie beneath it all. He’s washed and plucked and styled, and he’s ready to marry Obi-Wan Kenobi.

He is absolutely not ready to leave their shared bathroom in their loft to go to whatever venue Obi-Wan has booked for their ceremony and then their reception. And that has nothing to do with his soon-to-be husband.

And everything to do with his husband’s brother, currently thumping his fist—or head, and Anakin prefers that mental picture—against the locked door to the—to the tune of…

He’s on his feet and unlocking the door in a fit of pique. “Is that really fucking ‘Here Comes The Bride’, you fuc—”

Cody’s fist, raised and pulled back for another knock, doesn’t stop. 

Not until it makes contact with Anakin’s eye.

The pain is secondary to the fucking shock. “Holy shit,” he says.

To his credit, Cody doesn’t look as celebratory as Anakin’s always thought he’d look after laying a punch on Anakin.

He actually looks pretty fucking terrified. “Fuck,” he says succinctly. “Obi-Wan’s gonna kill me.”

“Yeah,” Anakin agrees, turning around to look in the mirror behind him. “Holy shit, Fett. I’m bleeding. You made me bleed on my wedding day.”

“Quick,” Cody says. “Display the bedsheets.”

Anakin leans over the sink and prods at the red skin beneath his eye in morbid curiosity, pushing extra hard over the small cut left behind by Cody’s ring. “Oh, dead man walking’s got jokes. Tell that one to Obi-Wan, I think he’d love the implication another man took my virginity. On our wedding day.”

Cody’s glare could level a city. “Now you have to wear this.”

“I’m not wearing that,” Anakin shoots him a look in the mirror. “I wasn’t going to let you tie a blindfold on me before and now that you’ve punched me in the face, not sure I’m trusting you more.”

“Yeah, well. Before you were going to put this on because your fiance requested that you’re led to the venue blindfolded—ostensibly so it’s all a surprise, but if you ask me, he doesn’t think you can run as fast without your eyes—and now you’re going to wear it so Obi-Wan doesn’t see the shiner you’ll be sprouting in a few hours.”

“You think I’m going to wear a blindfold my entire wedding?” Anakin asks, laughter bursting out of him. “You think I’m getting married to someone as hot as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I’m not going to look at him? Fuck, Fett, if I thought it’d work, I’d tear out everyone else’s eyes so I could look at him through them as well.”

“You say the most disturbing things like they’re something to be proud about,” Fett says, a bit like it’s a miracle.

“Like you’ve never torn out a man’s eyes,” Anakin rolls his own and prods at his cheek again.

“Yeah, well, at least I’m sane enough to understand they’re pretty fucking useless outside of the skull,” Cody leans against the doorway with a sneer.

Anakin sneers back. “Daddy, look what Cody did to my face, Daddy. Daddy, it hurt and I cried it hurt so bad. Daddy, did you hear that? I gave tears that should have been yours to Cody instead.”

Cody starts forward automatically, eyes narrowing. Anakin smirks at him.

“Just practicing, Cody,” he smiles. “In case it comes up.”

“You dirty fucking liar.”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Is that news to you?”

“Skywalker, wear it.”

“Fett, no.”

“Skywalker.”

“Fett.”

“Skywalker.”

“Fett.”

There’s a vein pulsing in Cody’s forehead. It’s the prettiest thing about him. 

“Skywalker. I’m putting this blindfold on you. And you’re going to fucking consent to it because it’s what Obi-Wan fucking wants from you. And me. And it’s my brother’s fucking wedding day and honestly, I was really hoping we’d never fucking get here, but fuck if life’s been that nice to me, ever. Even once.  And when I go to sleep, the idea of leaving you on the side of the road in a soggy cardboard box like a stray cat in a fucking hurricane is literally my happy place. Add a few bullets in your most annoying bits, it’s practically heaven, alright, so please don’t think I care about your wedding day, but fuck you if you think I don’t give a fuck about his.”

It may be the most Cody’s ever spoken to him in one go.

He narrows his eyes and weighs his options.

“Fine,” he says.

“Fuck yo—wait. What?”

“Fine,” Anakin turns to face him with a shrug. “I might never trust you not to punch me in the face given half a chance—” he gestures to his eye. “But Obi-Wan wouldn’t trust me with just anyone. Especially blindfolded. So. If I’m marrying into his mob and his multiple properties and his family, I guess. I guess I’m marrying into his trust in you.” 

Cody’s eyes narrow. “What else.”

Anakin shrugs again and grins. “And I can’t wait to hear you try to convince Obi-Wan Kenobi to last the whole wedding ceremony—to me—without demanding to see my eyes.”

Cody’s face freezes, fabric of the blindfold stretched between his fingers.

Feeling very obliging all of a sudden, Anakin leans forward to press his face into the silk. “But Cody, you have to know that if my daddy asks me to do something—like, I don’t know, show him my eyes during our wedding ceremony—I will.”

Cody grimaces. Anakin smiles.

—--------

“Thank you, Cody,” Obi-Wan murmurs as Fett guides Anakin to a stop in front of him. “I’ll take him from here.”

“I think I’m just realizing you made me walk him down the aisle,” Cody hisses. "Kenobi, it fucking looks like I'm giving him away."

“It’s not as if he has a father to do it,” Obi-Wan points out, hands wrapping around Anakin’s, strong and sure and achingly familiar. “Thank you for your service.”

“I thought you wanted the venue to be a surprise,” Fett sounds furious.

Anakin beams. “I’ve known it’s going to be in the club for ages. Who do you think suggested the venue? Ceremony and reception in one place with our bed a few floors away? Come on, use your brain, Cody.”

“Don’t make me punch you again,” Cody mutters as he takes a step back.

Obi-Wan’s tone changes like a light flickering off. “Again?”

“Yeah,” Cody huffs. “Did I fucking stutter?”

[tortoisesshells]

625, 5.

[whumpypepsigal]

Wedding Season (Hulu) s01e04: “Are you okay?”

[pansexual-puppy-pack]

cody christian brainrot so bad i:

once started watching pretty little liars (the biggest mistake of my entire life)

started watching all american (really good show i recommend it)

have assassination nation open on my pc and am about to start watching it

have his imdb page remembered by my browser bc i open it so much

[novelconcepts]

taishauna (can be platonic or romantic, dealers choice) with 51 please?

51 - Blessing/Good Luck Charm

"Please, Tai."

Taissa lets out a breath. She remembers this yard so well, and to be sitting in it again, her legs folded either side of this lawn chair, feels like stepping through a portal to some fae land. She doesn't belong here. None of them do.

Least of all, the young woman on her left, who scrapes brown hair back from her face and stares unblinkingly at Taissa in the rosy glow of sunset. "Please," she says again. "I wouldn't believe it from anyone else."

Taissa wants to shut her eyes. Hoist up out of this low-slung chair. Sprint for the back gate, beyond which Van and Natalie escaped twenty minutes ago in search of more beer for all. They left her alone in this yard when it's the last place she wants to be. They left her alone with Shauna, and her big brown eyes, and her ring.

Van even caught her eye on the way out, chin lifted in silent certainty. It was going to go bad, Van seemed to say with nothing more than her eyes. But it had to happen.

Has to happen. Like congregating in this fucking yard, of all yards, has to happen.

Because Shauna said so.

"What do you want from me?" Taissa asks her. She lights another cigarette, trying to keep track. This is her third, at least. She's supposed to be quitting--but, then, she was supposed to quit Van Palmer, too. And they both know whose bed she'll be back in when the night's over.

She's never quite figured out how to quit something and keep it that way. It's on her to-do list.

Shauna can fucking relate, can't she?

"I want you," Shauna says quietly, "to tell me I'm doing the right thing."

"You want my blessing?"

Shauna snorts. "That what we're calling it?"

"We can call it whatever you want. It's all going to boil down to the same shit."

Shauna remains still, a rabbit frozen in the beam of a flashlight. Taissa sighs, tapping out a fresh cigarette. Shauna shakes her head, and Tai tucks it behind her ear. She'll offer it to Van, instead, and Van will take it. Will smoke it slow, her eyes on Taissa the whole time, and even though they haven't so much as touched in six months, she'll lead the way to the bathroom soon after. They hooked up in that bathroom once, didn't they? Back in '95. Jackie's birthday party.

Time tends to loop. Without trying, without wanting, it loops back on itself. It's obstinate that way.

"Okay," Taissa says, feeling the loop close around her wrist. Around Shauna's middle. Around both of their throats. "Fine. Shauna..."

The words are brittle in her mouth. She's suddenly eighteen again, kneeling in the woods with a bit of wire and Shauna sobbing against her chest. She's eighteen again, kneeling in the woods with snow as far as the eye can see and Shauna keening into the morning air. She's eighteen again, kneeling in the woods as the cabin walls close in and Shauna turns gray with shock.

Blessing? When has Taissa's blessing ever done Shauna Shipman any good? The best she's ever been able to say is that she was there. There, supportive and determined and trying her goddamn best.

"I'm here," she says now. She taps the end of the cigarette against the leg of her lawn chair. Watches the plastic melt under the heat. Imagines Mrs. Taylor gasping in horror, and smiles.

"You're here," Shauna repeats flatly. Taissa raises her eyes.

"I'm here," she says. "And I'll be there on the day, and I'll be there after. Whatever that looks like. Okay?"

It's not a blessing. She can't give a blessing, not for this. Not for anything Shauna claims to need. Not when they're sitting in Jackie Taylor's backyard, with Jackie's ex-boyfriend's ring on Shauna's finger. Not when Taissa's ex-girlfriend is the only bullseye at which she can aim.

They're both failures, she and Shauna. And neither of them can abide it. Blessing? She can't give a blessing.

The best she can do is promise not to change her fucking number, and hope Shauna calls when things go south.

[aureoboros]

our flag means death teaser just dropped. they really did that. i will be screaming and crying for the rest of eternity

i haven't been feeling very well recently so i haven't gotten around to fanart yet, but i absolutely will as soon as i can!!

i have never been this excited about a second season of a show !!!!! it's kind of wild to me that it's a real thing that exists. so many cancelled shows have made me less optimistic for renewals, but it's incredible that this story is really going to continue !! the first season didn't really get any advertisement at all, it was all just by queer word of mouth. and i think that's lovely !! it just shows what we can make happen when we band together :] (it'd be even better if hbo max paid their writers and actors fair living wages though,, just saying,,) i can't wait to watch this silly pirate show and for online to be like march of last year again !! october 5th we're so back !! we're all in the brainrot again folks

will be yelling about the teaser in the tags just in case anyone who comes across this hasn't seen it yet, and if you haven't, go watch it !!

[deadtime-stories]

[tigrerramon]

You ever want to yell at someone to get the fuck out of your house before they even arrive? Like God fucking damn it woman you really gotta come in in the middle of housekeeping day??? Couldn't even give a heads-up earlier than late evening the day before??? Fuck you and your dumbass boyfriend I hope it rains on your wedding and we can all go home early

[axellis-archv-2]

i miss axel

[i-have-41-protons]

A maid of spades, a maid of hearts,

A maid of diamonds and of clubs.

A maid of harm.

A maid of healing.

A maid of things that left you reeling.

A maid of knowledge and of sleep,

A maid of promises you keep.

One maid of each, and one of mead:

And drunk, the wedding shall proceed.

at my wedding yes i will have a maid of honour but why stop there. ill give all my maids titles. we will have a maid of hope. a maid of horror. a maid of horticulture. a maid of harm. a maid of healing. and of course. a maid of hogs

[captain-hawks]

iwaizumi's favorite shirt is a faded old oversized godzilla tee that he's had since high school. the navy blue fabric has gone nearly threadbare in some places, the neck has certainly seen better days. and there's a finicky hole that needs to be re-sewn in one of the armpits before it gets too out of hand again.

oikawa, mattsun, and makki all learned the hard way at one point or another that one does not borrow iwaizumi's godzilla t-shirt—not even when one is camping and "iwa-chan, you're the only one who has a spare dry shirt left, and it's freezing out, you stingy bastard!"

so when you pad over to the front door early one fall morning to let the boys inside while iwaizumi finishes packing for their hike, you're met with several curious and somewhat dumbfounded stares when they see the shirt you're wearing as pajamas.

“IWA-CHAN, YOU FINALLY DID IT?!” oikawa calls out suddenly.

“does this mean i don’t have to keep it a secret anymore?” makki exhales in relief, fist-bumping mattsun.

“let me see the ring, he wouldn’t show me,” oikawa gestures impatiently toward your hand. “he’s had it for months.”

you blink in confusion. oikawa looks down at your very empty ring finger and also blinks in confusion.

“out. right now. all of you with your big, dumb, giant ugly mouths, get out,” iwaizumi barks from somewhere behind you.

it’s only once the front door swings shut and the entryway goes quiet that you finally turn around.

—and you find your boyfriend on one knee, his shirt halfway on and toothpaste smeared on his cheek.

“i did have this entire thing planned out for later tonight,” he sighs, smiling up at you, the diamond in his hand reflecting in the soft morning light.

(at the wedding, oikawa’s speech is a 5-minute monologue about how a 14-year-old iwaizumi once told him—after punching him in the face for trying to steal that very shirt from his closet—that the only other person he’d ever let wear it would be his future wife.)