#a part of social interaction for me
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ryderdire · 1 year ago
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I have a friend without anxiety and honestly their kinda whack. Like what do you MEAN you don’t think over every interaction ever after it’s over and over anylize it in your head because you think you bonked it what the fuck sounds fake
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waitineedaname · 4 months ago
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for all that bingqiu and moshang are wrapped up in each other's business, I find it funny that shen qingqiu and mobei-jun have NO relationship. cumplane have their whole cosmically entwined nonsense, bingqiu and moshang are just differently flavored cumplane, and sqh and binghe have some kind of dynamic in the "author and his protagonist" sense, but sqq and mbj never once speak to each other. I just skimmed mobei-jun's appearances in the main three volumes and I think the only thing sqq says to him is "a demon?" when he first appears and mobei-jun just fucking ignores him. they exist in the same scene several times, but never interact. they've both got their attachments to binghe and weird obsession with sqh, but they have absolutely no relationship to each other. I think if you put just the two of them in a room together, they would sit there in silence until sqq contemplates whether killing himself would end the awkwardness
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months ago
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Siffrin plays Disco Elysium AU: Featuring backseat gamer Loop.
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my-autism-adhd-blog · 9 months ago
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The Hardest Part of Being Autistic (part 1)
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Autistic Qualia
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fumifooms · 8 months ago
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
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She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
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They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.
We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.
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They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕
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I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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coolnonsenseworld · 2 years ago
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Wingmen ✈️
Linktr.ee/mezzy
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bitchfitch · 4 days ago
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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.
My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.
It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.
#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles#no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it#like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out#because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do#just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem#And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers#without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up#slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it#and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way#one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public#Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or#be In The Way of a peaceful moment#dont look at me#this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic#I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another#is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though#he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script#I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to#a customer™ despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process#im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on#its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive#That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers#before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant
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kingkatsuki · 9 months ago
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Specifically thinking about long distance relationships today.
So tell me how you and your f/o would first meet online?
#I feel like Bakugou and I would meet in one of those online games he’s downloaded to mindlessly waste time between shifts#and he’s so foul at first because he thinks I’m weak but we play and he realises that I’m#actually whooping everyone and he’s like well damn okay#and now he’s messaging in the alliance chat and like getting excited when I’m online even tho he tries to hide it#and gets annoyed when other creeps in his alliance try to flirt with me#and then he’s asking for my discord#me and Sanemi get into a fight on discord the first time we interact#in some stupid big server I only joined for the emojis#but he’s a jerk so I tell him to shut up and a message later I find a msg notification and it’s him trying to continue the conversation😭#enjin slides into my dms on Instagram#he finds my post at a concert and hates the fuckboys that are commenting below#ends up messaging me to see if I’m okay but then immediately worries he’s one of those guys#Tamsy I feel like is that mutual I’ve had forever on twt and we like each others posts but we’ve NEVER talked to each other??#it’s not until I’m feeling sad at 2am and I post something self-deprecating that he drops me a msg🥺#and we end up staying up until 5am just talking to each other#Kirishima is ALWAYS the guy that responds to my ‘morning’ with a morning back! every day without fail#and I slide into his DMs one day and ask how he’s ALWAYS awake when I am??? like to say it back so quick#and he admits he’s kinda learned my schedule and he tries to be online for it because it’s one of the best parts of his day#and he likes saying it back😭😭😭 even if he’s off from a night shift and needs sleep he can’t without seeing me msg#Shindou blatantly flirts with me in a gaming discord and I think he’s an incel so I block him#he gets a friend to ping me to beg me to unblock him and I refuse#the friend then sends another message with a screenshot of Shindou basically begging me to unblock him😭#Dot and I meet in one of those AITA Reddit threads#and we end up borderline arguing over whether op is TA#so much that we get told to take it elsewhere😭😭😭#enjo#bakujo#eijo#but also catch me sending Dynamight sassy banter on his official socials😭😂
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evil-mcytblrconfessions · 4 months ago
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tumblr kww fandom was formed seperately from most other social media corners of the fandom. and that leads to silly things like the commonly used name "kww collab" and kenfies vs kenifies. and probably more. cedar if theres any more im forgetting that u know of say them pls
(in response to this confession)
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carry-the-sky · 6 days ago
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#watching fandom drama play out when you're still mostly lurking in said fandom is a surreal experience#part of me is sort of relieved that i haven't been more active#would i have joined that server? would i have been one of the people they bullied?#i'm a mess of contradictions: i crave community but am terrible at all the things you need to cultivate it#i'm anxious and awkward and overthink every little interaction#but i've lucked out and found some really stellar fandom besties over the years who make me feel loved and accepted anyway#it takes a certain kind of bravery to put yourself out there online. a certain level of trust.#so for a group of people to actively choose to betray that trust in order to. what?#gain some imaginary amount of social clout? promote a fic? feed their own insecurities?#it's honestly beyond comprehension for me#i'm a relative nobody in this fandom so i'm not sure how much weight this will carry#but for what it's worth#having lurked here since last september#the broader community feels like it's a safe space. a space built on acceptance and love.#i've recently chatted with a few different people who have been nothing but lovely and i'm hoping that those conversations continue#and even though putting myself out there on discord feels like a nigh impossible ask atm#(did anyone else not know that secret channels were a thing? what in the supervillain hell!)#i'm gonna try my damnedest#fandom is bigger than one person. correction: one bully. bc that's what she is. a bully.#and i'm heartened that most everyone has rallied to show her and her cohort the door#to anyone affected by her bullshit. i love you and i'm so sorry and i hope you find a true safe space#ANYWAY#pass the what a year huh/lemon it's january meme#good omens
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i-mybrunettelady · 3 months ago
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I am suffering from Needy Bitch Disease with a comorbidity of I Don't Want to Annoy People w/ OCs disorder
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nessbunnie · 1 month ago
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how to talk to a sweet funny cute guy who says he likes u but u wanna take it slowly and get to know him first but ur scared that he's gonna lose interest once he gets to know u cus ur kinda weird no borax no glue
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ontosgold · 9 months ago
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hi! first off i wanted to say that i love your art so much its so so pretty and secondly i was wondering, since youre like the ceo of ryomina, if you had any good ryomina fanfic recommendations ? :>
THANK YOU :D !! and hehe thank u for giving me the chance to ramble abt the two ryomina fics that have been consuming my brain lately (that are both written by my lovely fellow ryomina ceos <3)
first off !! the twilight wants him back by @chatlote
it's a canon divergent fix-it fic that takes place from november onwards featuring sees ryoji :> I think my favourite thing abt this fic is the way lina characterises both ryoji and makoto, like I genuinely adore how she writes them in this fic. both of their inner worlds feel so rich and detailed and i adore how the pov switches give us a look into makoto and ryoji's different outlooks !! seeing makoto and ryoji's different perspectives on the same events is so interesting and it adds so much depth of their interactions. it's been such a joy so far to watch those two slowly get to know each other while also exploring how makoto's dealing with everything he's experienced up until then (the way she shows how makoto's been dealing with loss is so. augh <3) and I'm so excited to see where this fic is headed ^_^ every update has me kicking my feet in excitement hehe
and then there's persephone's curse by @sweet-sirin
this fic took me on such an emotional rollercoaster that it hasn't stopped rolling around in my brain since I read it. it takes place post canon and if u know abt persephone than u can probably take a guess as to where this fic is going. I don't wanna say too much bcs I think this fic is best experienced knowing as little abt it as possible but its just a beautiful exploration of ryoji and makoto's characters and just how stubborn they can be in their own ways, especially ryoji. there's so many scenes in this fic that are just stuck in my brain. it felt like every single scene and every piece of dialogue has some sort of underlying/second meaning and it was a ride unpacking everything as I was reading. everything feels so purposeful and meaningful its just so. augh. it emotionally destroyed me and I don't think I'll ever recover <3 it'll live in a special corner of my brain forever
Also !! I haven't really gone down the ryomina fic rabbit hole myself yet so if you or anyone reading has some fic recs of their own please send them my way !! 🙏🙏
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milekael · 9 months ago
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FIRST BATCH OF CHARACTER PROFILES!! This one has our main characters and the rest of their coworkers at the precinct!!
OC insanity under the cut!
SO after making these I made two little info sheets for the sake of reference! The first one is their ranks and some sense of line of command...
Note that there is still people in middle of this line- mostly more officers lol but those are bg characters to give the sense that there is people working here. These are the story relevant people.
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And the second one.... is me being consumed by the madness. Is me and hubris thinking I can and should have made a relationship web explaining in general terms how everyone gets along.... It did get out of hand but at least I have a bunch of character info!!
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years ago
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a quite simple outfit, trying to use the little blue and white apron thing (which is actually a dress I think, that I just leave un-buttoned in the back and added an apron-like tie to lol)
#self#mori kei#jfashion#NOT really but like.. it's.. adjacent I guess.. forgive me .. I may try using tags again though I kind of got out of the habit ghhj#I need to be... Seen to some degree. I want to start selling clothes and sculptures again to recoup the costs of having to euthanize my cat#and stuff . but that won't be very successful if I have like.. 15 people to sell to lol...#the eternal Hermit Conflict where you hate attention and Being Percieved in general yet in todays capitalist society it is nearly#a necessity to have some form of social network or media presence especially in creative fields. etc. etc. ... kicking screaming wailing#sobbing so on and so forth.. tearfully punching the cold mossy stone walls of my evil wizard tower...#I was also thinking of maybe opening a few sculpture commission slots and maybe Tumblr Blazing that post or something#but.. again.... sobbing crying interacting with the general public oughhf ouuch -500 HP#why can't I just be approached by some wealthy 65 year old woman who is nonsensically infatuated with my art for no#reason and gives me like $10.000 a week for food and art supplies and etc. and I can go fuck off into a cabin in the middle of nowhere#in the uk and just be left alone to work on my projects without even needing to build any form of connections or social presence because I'#already set for life and can just get funding and connections whenever lol.. WHICH not to be ungrateful like obviously I still appreciate#anyone who follows and interacts with my posts. I dont mean it in a 'grrr fuck all of you imbeciles I wish I could delete my blog!!!' or#whatever hhjkjk.. I just mean it more in a like.. I am very socially inept and my mental illness gives me severe social issues so any situ#tion where I'm expected to self promote or network or interact with others generally is nightmarish and stressful for many many reasons#and if I could somehow skip that part and just go straight to being a famous author or somethin.. that would be cool. Which I know EVERYONE#hates networking and stuff but I mean like.. on a level most people could not possibly comprehend.. I am not just an 'introvert'. I am like#doctors declare me incapable of functioning in general society very poor mental health prognosis probably should have a caretaker at#some point type Hermit lol.. ANYWAY ghbhj... alas.. I also feel weird about the sculptures in terms of what to charge for them#and always have which is part of why I stopped selling them. If I charged a fair even like $15 an hour many of them would be like#close to $150+. and nobody is going to pay that for a decoration. that doesn't even factor in like.. supplies or time spent communicating/s#etching the concept (if a commission) etc. etc. I thought it'd be better to just auction them then and let people pay what they want inst#d of a set price but etsy doesnt allow auctions and is it weird to just.. link people to an Art Ebay or something lol..#AAAANYWAY.. the outfit.. I still love these shoes. they're nice and a little Older Style looking. always into pastel florals too lol#(everything is thrifted as usual. excited about the shirt because it's so puffy! it was in the halloween section though ghjhj.. like when i#s october and they make the special aisle in goodwill for 'Costume' clothes even though theyre all just normal stuff I would wear ghg)
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