#a missing scene set before 1x2

[beeexx]

Meet the Family

Carlos meets Gwyneth Strand for the first time. 

Set before 2x01, a missing scene. 

Word count: 13.3. Read on AO3. 

TK has spent the better part of the week in offices of higher ups, getting cleared for active duty again, which means he hasn’t had the time to see Carlos much at all. But he’s been looking forward to lunch together all week, and therefore, he spends the better part of it sending him looks that Carlos can read into however he wants to, but judging by the slightest tightening of his grip around the fork or how his foot keeps climbing higher up TK’s leg, almost unconsciously, he’s definitely thinking along similar lines as TK is.

Not that the lunch isn’t lovely and being in Carlos’ presence is making TK feel a little like a moth to the flame, Carlos’ undivided attention on him is unlike anything he’s ever experienced before, a little addictive for sure and TK knows all about what that’s like. But this is the good kind of high, the one leaving you with tingles all over, wide smiles that are real and butterflies in your chest.

But putting all the lovey dovey feelings he’s definitely experiencing aside, he’s also, and unashamedly so, a little horny and he hasn’t had sex in ages because of this stupid injury and Carlos’ stupid (and hot) caring side that refuses to give in to TK’s puppy dog eyes because strenious ativities are not yet approved by the doctor. Or they haven’t been, until now, so now he’s going to look at his boyfriend and put all kinds of images in his head that they can later on reenact in his bedroom. 

Yep TK is a genius. 

On the drive over to TK’s he can barely keep his hands to himself though, biting at his lip, hard to prevent himself from reaching out for Carlos and causing an accident, that would defeat the purpose of the car ride altogether, even though it’s really tempting. His house is closer and Owen is on a shift, yes TK double checked so the promise of an empty house and a whole afternoon to take advantage of, is making him feel extremely happy, butterflies in his stomach kind of happy, while he also has to remind himself that they’ll arrive soon and he doesn’t need to attach himself to Carlos just yet.

But it’s proving to be really hard, the anticipation in the air between getting harder and harder to ignore. 

Once they do make it to TK's house, he immediately pulls Carlos close, his patience all but gone now when they’re finally able to touch and Carlos seems to be in a similar position to him. He pulls TK closer, shifts a little so the angle TK is currently in allows him to rub perfectly up against Carlos’s crotch, the outline of his dick digging into the inside of TK’s thigh.

Yep he needs to get them inside now.

Carlos presses up against his back as TK tries to unlock the door, leaving kisses on the exposed skin, making goosebumps erupt all over TK’s body, making it even more difficult to focus on the task at hand. The door finally makes a triumphant click and TK turns, meeting Carlos’ hungry lips before he twists the door open, the both of them stumbling inside, hands never leaving each other. The door shuts and Carlos pushes TK up against it and finally TK thinks, kissing back with the vigor of a man who has not been kissed like this by his boyfriend for days. Carlos hands travel down to the hem of his shirt, ready to throw it off. He feels the slowburn of arousal in the pit of his stomach, making him shift on his feet.

There is a cough and clearing of someone’s throat that makes both TK and Carlos freeze up in each other’s arms. TK closes his eyes and leans his head on Carlos’ sturdy chest before he thinks ‘oh God no’. 

Carlos has gone rigid instead, one hand braced against the door in an awkward fashion, his eyes trained on the ground. TK looks up, blushes all over when he spots Gwyneth sitting by the kitchen island, smirk in place and looking way too comfortable that anyone in her position should have the right to be.

“Honey.” She says teasingly and TK groans and steps out from Carlos’ arms, putting some distance between them, but makes sure to keep close.

“Mom.” He says tightly. “I thought you were arriving on Thursday.”

“It is Thursday.” She says.

“What? Right, right…” He runs a hand through his hair, messing it up, feeling like the floor has been pulled out from underneath the ground, swallowing TK whole. Fuck why is this his life?

Carlos clears his throat a few times and finally turns around, fixing his shirt, eyes flitting nervously around the room before landing on his mom. Gwyneth smirks when he finally dares to meet her eyes.

“Carlos, it’s nice to meet you, I have heard a lot about you.” She smiles, all hard edges and shark like. For all of Owen’s faults, at least he has always been supportive, that cannot be said about his mother. Carlos gulps, clearly sensing that he might not be welcome. 

“Mom.” TK tries intervening but Gwyneth clicks her tongue at him, softening her smile slightly though.

“You really are like your dad aren’t you…” She mutters but she comes forward, chique pantsuit on, hair falling in long messy curls behind her back, light makeup on, looking way too put together for someone who has spent almost 4 hours on a plane should do. 

“Did TK tell you that this isn’t the first time this has happened by the way? I once walked in on him when he was maybe 16, it was his first boy -”

“Mom!” He interrupts, ears the colour of lobsters and he keeps shooting glances at Carlos who looks like he isn’t sure if he’s supposed to leave or not. 

“Mom.” He tries again, shooting her a reproachful glare and she bites her lip, eyes gleeful. But she sips her mouth shut.

“What are you doing here? How did you even get in?”

“Your dad picked me up from the airport and drove me here.”

“Right, and no one thought to tell me?”

“He said you’d be out for lunch with Carlos. I take it the plans changed.” TK groans.

“No those plans were intact, we just decided to come here for dessert.” It’s a terrible terrible joke to make and TK regrets it immediately because Carlos winces and his mother smirks, her quick mind already coming up with ten different ways to match that reply.

“Don’t.” He warns and she chuckles, holds her hands up, backing off. 

But she doesn’t stay placated for long, she never has, and she comes forward, smile intact but somehow managing to wear an expression of impassiveness as well, her eyes fixed on Carlos as she puts her hand forward for him to shake. He looks at it for a moment, obviously confused before he puts his hand in hers in a jerky movement. She shakes it, firmly but Carlos has pulled himself together enough to match it and she looks a little less hostile immediately.

“Carlos, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Gwyneth.” Their eyes meet, and her eyes are sharp and alert, probably already having categorised everything she’s gauged about Carlos’ down in her head, already started a mental list of hers. 

His mother’s sharpness and her uncanny ability to be too adept at reading a room, any room, has served her well in her professional life. It hasn’t served TK well at all, and he learnt quickly that lying to her never worked well at all. Well apart from the drugs, that one TK hid so well that he would have probably been able to get away with it for years longer, had his dad not accidentally come home one evening and found him puking his guts out in the bathroom. Apart from that it’s been a major argument between him and his mother, her inability, that he called judgment and she called intuition, to leave that by the door or at her job, and not make up her mind about TK’s friends and boyfriends, before they were even able to make a case for themselves. 

So TK feels bad for Carlos, because he knows all too well what it feels like to be on the other side of her scrutiny. 

“Yes, Mrs. Strand, it’s nice to meet you too.” Carlos says and he looks a little more at ease, probably faking it well, but Gwyneth studies his face a moment longer before she nods admicabally, and it’s as good of an improval from her that it can be at the moment. 

“So, do you want to stay?”

“He’s not staying.” TK interrupts, he isn’t putting himself nor Carlos through an interrogation from her right now. He might need to prep Carlos for that and himself too for that matter. 

“I guess I’m not staying.” Carlos says, and it makes Gwyneth chuckle, looking between the two of them before her eyes land on TK, her eyebrow lifting in a silent question.

“But it was nice to meet you, if you’re in town for some time I’m sure we can find a time for dinner or coffee or something.”

“Yes, you know what I’m sure that’s possible.” But it’s sais genuinely so thank fuck for that. 

Carlos nods his goodbye and TK follows him to the door, feeling his mother’s eyes at the back of his neck, very obviously listening to them. He opens the door to give them some privacy and steps outside with Carlos, closing the door firmly behind them. He leans against it, feeling the air go out of him completely. Carlos is silent, waiting for him to speak.

“Soooo, that’s my mother.”

“She’s intense…”

“Tell me about it...I’m sorry, I forgot she was coming to town this week.”

“Well I guess I’m not the first to meet her this way.” Carlos jokes but it lightens the mood between them and honestly TK’s never been happier to date someone who can joke about something that could have become a massive thorn in their side going forward. Not everyone is fond of overprotective mothers. 

“Yeah… no, that was way worse than this though. She can be vicious when she wants to, that's all I’m saying, you’ve already passed her first test.”

“There are tests I need to pass?” TK shrugs awkwardly.

“Probably…”

“Well, I better bring my A game then.” TK huffs, but it turns into a soft little smile because he really can’t believe Carlos. Most people would have run for the hills by now and decided this is not worth it. Well most people would have probably run for the hills when they found out he was an addict. 

Carlos is proving to be the exception to most of the rules. 

TK steps up close and pulls him in, kissing him hard on the mouth, pulling a groan and a hiss out of Carlos who cradles his face close to slow it down before they both get too lost in each other.

Carlos is the one to stop it completely though, his eyes dark and flush high on his cheeks, looking absolutely gorgeous, and he holds TK’s head in his hands, stroking a thumb up and down his cheek gently before he smiles softly.

“I’ll call you.”

“Yeah, yeah, do that.” TK says breathlessly and Carlos leans forward to gently kiss his lips, before he steps away, TK missing him immediately. 

Before he goes back in to face his mother he needs a moment to catch his breath. He counts to 5 in his head before he opens the door and goes back in.

She’s sitting where he left her, typing away on her phone, but she puts it down when he comes towards her, lifting an eyebrow.

“Can I say hi to my son now?”

“You probably shouldn’t be allowed to after you scared my boyfriend off.” But he’s already opening his arms and she huffs, steps in close and hugs him tightly, her hard exterior melting away now when it’s just the two of them. He closes his eyes, admitting that it is nice to see her. She steps back, cups his face in her hands to look at him properly. He lets her, knows she will not calm down until she’s allowed her little ritual.  

“How are you?” She asks.

“I’m good.” She gives him a piercing look and doesn’t say anything.

“I am good! I swear.” He defends and she huffs, kisses his cheek before she steps away. 

“Good, good.” She takes out her suitcase, it’s massive, and opens it up.

“Mom, you are here for 10 days, why have you packed like you’re going to be here for months?” She heaves an unimpressed sigh and grunts, flipping the suitcase on its back before she opens it up.

“Now, now. One never knows, there could be an emergency.”

“That requires these?” He holds up the Prada heels skeptically and she rolls her eyes, grabs them out of his hands.

“These are the latest in my suede collection, they’re gorgeous right?”

“Yes, yes, they are. Still, it doesn’t answer my earlier question.” He points out. She ignores him and starts to riffle through her things before she picks up a baby blue paper bag that’s been wrapped securely in an airtight plastic bag.

“Now, that’s no way to treat your mother that comes bearing gifts.” She hands it to him and he can’t help but let out the little happy squeal as he rips it out of her hands.

“Aw you shouldn't have.” She chuckles at his delight and he immediately stands up and puts the bag down on the counter, hands twitching in anticipation, just staring at it lovingly. 

“You’re not a child, you can eat cookies whenever you want.”

“I’m 27 and I live at home.” He points out.

“Well, that is all your own doing.” But she kisses his cheek lovingly and he huffs, happy that they can still joke about the elephant in the room. He rips the bag open, mouth salivating at the sight, can’t wait any longer when the smell of freshly baked cookies hit him. 

“How is Fred? Did you tell him hi for me?” He asks, mouth around a chocolate chip cookie, munching away happily as the heavenly taste spreads around in his mouth. The cookie is still soft in the middle, it’s beautiful. 

“He is good, he says hi back and that he misses his favorite customer. Apparently Lily has started high school, can you believe?”

TK can’t, he used to remember her being so young, but she’s always been sassy and she’s going to give poor Fred hell.

Fred’s bakery was a little corner place a few blocks away from TK’s apartment. He used to go there way too often and buy all the sweet pastries in his way. The cookies quickly became a favorite, and he became Fred’s favourite customer because of it. He misses the place dearly. He still hasn’t found a bakery here in Austin he likes as much as that one, and when he keeps telling Carlos that he huffs, having become set on finding a place that will make TK just as happy as Fred’s did back in New York. TK isn’t going to complain, it’s been a fun little activity to play while he’s been on the mend and Carlos’ is almost ridiculous in his categorically organised note taking of the whole thing, dead set on finding him the perfect pastry. If it were anyone else, it would be ridiculous, but because it is Carlos and it’s a thing that’s been made to be about him, TK is just so touched and charmed by it that he’s willing to admit that Texas does have an amazing food scene, even the posh New Yorker in him is willing to admit as much. 

“Did you give me this do distract me from all the clothes you brought?” He asks again.

“No, don’t be a smartass, clothes are no joke. Also are you sure you should be mouthing off to me? You own like 20 jumpers in the same colour alone, don’t come at me.” He snorts and it brings a laugh out of her, he’s missed their banter, he really has. 

“They are not all in the same colour.” He pouts, but it shortly melts into a smile instead. “I’ve missed you.” He admits and her smile goes soft before she steps in close allowing him to pull her into a hug. 

“I’ve missed you too kiddo, so coffee, I’m in desperate need of some.”

“Yeah, yeah, let me.”

“Don’t be silly, do you even know how to work that ridiculous coffee maker?”

“You have the exact same one at your apartment, I’ve used that plenty.” He points out, making her smirk but she walks over, easily enough making herself one, looking way too familiar with the setup.

“You want one?” He shakes his head. She lifts an eyebrow.

“One a day.” He says and she nods.

TK can drink coffee, sometimes he indulges. But he tries not to have any on the days he’s off, it tends to make him a little jittery and being prone to anxiety, he tends to avoid getting his heart rate up unnecessarily high normally, or at least when it comes to drinks and food. When it comes to other stuff he’s none too happy to overindulge a bit in, particularly if their name is Carlos Reyes. 

He goes over to the fridge and takes out the tropical green smoothie from Whole Foods his dad stocks up on and Gwyneth snorts.

“That looks blergh.”

“You’re like a child.” He laughs. “It’s not the worst of his insane food ideas.” 

“No, it really isn't.” She agrees.

“His food regime hasn’t totally gone down at the station, not as well as he’d hoped at least. He tried a cheese burger a while back.”

“Did he now? Wow he’s a changed man.” She jokes and TK delights in having an ally to make fun of his dad with, someone that knows him and loves him enough that it’s okay.

And even after the divorce Owen and Gwyneth usually ganged up on him, it’s nice to have someone to side with from time to time. He sits down beside her as she sips at her coffee.

“It’s a nice place.” She comments, looks around, taking note.

“The prices are insanely low compared to New York.”

“Yes, one of the many advantages. Speaking of New York, a nice little couple moved into your apartment, did you know?”

“Yeah, dad said.”

“They seem nice.”

“Did you threaten them about the carpet in the bedroom?”

“I did, I told them how expensive it was.” She winks.

“You’re menace.”

“Yep, so what should we talk about first?”

“You really don’t know subtlety”

“I do, but I haven’t seen you in months and you are either too busy with work to reply to my texts or calls, or in a coma, or with your boyfriend, so I don’t have the time to beat around the bush.”

“In my defence, the coma wasn’t on purpose.”

“So, are you cleared for duty?” She ignores him and he nods, her eyes studying him close.

“Yeah just got cleared.”

“Good, 100%?”

“No, part time for a while.” She draws in a breath, relieved to hear.

“And therapy?” He sighs.

“She’s not like Doctor Harris, but she’s not bad either, just different.”

“Well I vetted her so.” He rolls his eyes.

“I know, you and dad really have no chill.”

“Not when it comes to you no. And so how are you?”

“Good, and that’s not a lie. Life has been weird, all over the place, crazy and hectic and in it I met Carlos who seems to have been the only stable thing in it all. But yes, it’s actually good for once.” Gwyneth smiles, proud.

“Good, I am happy to hear, really happy to hear. He seems -”

“If you insult him I’m leaving.” Her eyes widen and she burst out laughing. 

“I was going to say that I like him actually.”

“Oh? Oh, okay well that’s good.”

“I’m looking forward to meeting him properly and not when you try and rip his clothes off.” He blushes and groans.

“God, I’m never living that down am I?”

“Honey, you have a tendency to be a little bit of a mess, I’m sure you’ll find something to do soon enough that I can tease you about, in the meantime, nope, you’re not living it down.”

“Great.” She laughs and ruffles his hair lovingly. 

“I’m good at reading people, you know this, I like him, he’s different to all your previous boyfriends.”

“Different from Alex you mean.” She sighs, takes her hand away.

It’s no secret that Gwyneth has never been a fan of Alex. While Owen has almost always been supportive and hidden his disagreements when TK makes decisions he doesn’t like, Gwyneth has always been very vocal about what she thinks. Almost too vocal at times when he does things she really doesn’t like, and TK being TK and definitely his parent’s child, he’s done a lot of things she didn’t approve of. 

Alex being one of them. 

“TK I don’t want to fight, but yes, very different from Alex.” TK sighs, he doesn’t want to fight either and particularly not over fucking Alex.

“Yeah, fine…”

“I’ll have to get to know Carlos better but he clearly adores you.” TK’s eyes snap to hers trying to see if she’s lying, she isn’t. She is looking back at him with a knowing look in her eyes and TK averts his eyes, blushing and she giggles.

“Oh wow, you’re really taken by him too?”

“Shut up.” She laughs.

“I’m happy for you. I really am.”

“Thanks.” He whispers.

“Tell me everything.” He groans but sits up.

“It started badly.” But TK’s got to admit, gossiping about his love life or his life in general is something he’s missed doing with his mother. Owen is good at it but he’s just not her, doesn’t have her sharpness and wit.

“Really?”

“Terribly, which is why you have to be nice to him, he put up with me and that’s hard enough for anyone.”

“Oh shut up, you’re not a burden.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She scoffs when he doesn’t take her seriously, and moves forward, grabbing his face forcing him to look at her. She looks sad, the look she gets when TK is either being difficult or when she feels powerless and heartbroken, unable to reach him at all. He’s used to being on the receiving end of it, particularly after becoming an addict, and her face has often been shrouded in soft concern when they talk about it. 

It used to make his skin crawl in discomfort, the pity too much for him to bear. Now, he thinks she’s earned the right to care about him this way, she’s been through it all with him, and she’s the only one he can tolerate the pity with.

“I mean it, not a burden, not now and not ever and if Carlos thinks so he doesn’t deserve you at all.” TK’s mouth twitches, Gwyneth’s overprotectiveness can be worse than Owen’s aloofness to all his decisions. It’s a fine line to walk between two parents that sometimes either care too little or way too much about what he does. TK still hasn’t found a perfect way to walk between it yet. 

“He definitely doesn’t think so.”

“No?”

“No, mom, god, he’s been nothing but nice and supportive.” She studies his face closer, slightly frowning.

“I take it he knows about the addiction then?” TK nods, shrugs.

“It kind of became inevitable after a while, especially after I got arrested…”

“You did what now?!” TK flinches because whoops.

“Erm, I mean...kind of.”

“Tyler Kennedy Strand, no one gets kind of arrested.” He hates it when she uses his full name, he groans.

“Okay well you can’t be mad.”

“You know when you tell me that I can’t be mad it’s usually because you’ve done something bad.” But she lets go of his face and sits back, tapping her foot against the stool impatiently, backing off, something she rarely used to do when he was younger. 

“Yeah okay, this was stupid. He made me dinner because he’s a nice thoughtful man that misread my signals of just wanting a casul hook up, and then said something about a marriage proposal and that struck a nerve because of Alex and the cheating, so I freaked, found myself a perfect little bar where a gay man can get beat up, got into a fight and then got arrested. He was the one to process me…”

“For real? Were you drunk? Or high?!”

“No, no, of course not. Mom, you would have heard about that. I was sober.”

“Well considering your track record, sober is better, but really? What in the world made you feel compelled to do something so stupid?” TK can’t help but chuckle.

“Yeah funny, Carlos said the exact same thing.”

“Oh, smart man.”

“So I told him why because I had been a complete dick and then I continued kind of blowing him off about the whole thing which was a relationship but also wasn’t. It was very undefined for a while. He obviously wanted us to be more serious but he wouldn’t pressure me into anything, not until I wanted it too and expressed that to him. He’s just an extremely good guy, and then shit happened and here we are.”

“Huh? Shit happened, is that how you would explain it?” She smirks. “I think I like this Carlos the more I hear about him though.”

“Told you, he is a good guy.”

“Well that’s what you deserve, a really good guy.”

“Thanks.” He says, eyes flitting away, but smiling because TK cannot remember the last time he felt so good about being with someone.

As hard as it is to admit, it’s easy being with Carlos and he makes him feel really happy, a feeling TK isn’t too used to experiencing. 

“So, is there a guest bedroom here or? Owen wasn’t exactly specific.” She changes the subject, satisfied for now, but he knows his mother, there will be more words and a longer conversation about everything that has happened since he left New York.

And for once he doesn’t actually mind it, it doesn’t bring him the usual dread or irrational fear of judgement that it used to when his mother wanted to talk to him about his life. TK feels different, he probably is different from when he left New York all those months ago, feeling more stable and secure in himself than he has in ages, unable to not let those emotions merge into his growing relationship with Carlos, so unable to not admit that Carlos has alighten something in his chest that is spreading like wildfire to every part of his body, igniting every cell in its way. Yeah, being with Carlos is unlike anything else. 

Apart from that it’s nice being at a point in his life where talking about his past doesn't make him want to run away in fear. 

“Yes, there is, I’ll show you.” 

“Perfect.”

For some it might be weird having your 50+ divorced parents of 20 years live under the same roof when one visits from out of state, for the Strands/Morgans it just isn’t. His parents should have probably gotten divorced sooner than they did, but once the conversation was actually out there the fighting and the yelling stopped, both of them realising it was for the best for all of them. And ever since they started co parenting, everything kind of settled and became better for all of them. Owen became more present, involved himself in TK’s life and Gwyneth stopped bearing resentment towards having to be a stay at home mom full time and finally had the time to build a career, a very long and successful career that was, while TK finally had the undivided attention of both his parents. And underneath the anger, his parents loved each other very much and after a while they learnt to be friends again.

Then TK screwed his life up a few times and put both of his parents through hell so yeah, it was good until it wasn’t. 

But he can’t deny it’s nice to see her after so long apart. He really has missed her.

*

Read the rest on AO3.

[armageddon-generation]

Articulating Why His Dark Materials is Badly Written

A long essay-thing with lots of specific examples and explanations of why I feel this way. Hopefully I’ve kept fanboy bitching to a minimum.

This isn’t an attack on fans of the show, nor a personal attack on Jack Thorne. I’m not looking to ruin anyone’s enjoyment of the show, I just needed to properly articulate, with examples, why I struggle with it. I read and love the books and that colours my view, but I believe that HDM isn’t just a clumsy, at-best-functional, sometimes incompetent adaptation, it’s a bad TV show separate from its source material. The show is the blandest, least interesting and least engaging version of itself it could be.

His Dark Materials has gorgeous production design and phenomenal visual effects. It's well-acted. The score is great. But my god is it badly written. Jack Thorne writing the entire first season damned the show. There was no-one to balance out his flaws and biases. Thorne is checking off a list of plot-points, so concerned with manoeuvring the audience through the story he forgets to invest us in it. The scripts are mechanical, empty, flat.

Watching HDM feels like an impassioned fan earnestly lecturing you on why the books are so good- (Look! It's got other worlds and religious allegory and this character Lyra is really, really important I swear. Isn't Mrs Coulter crazy? The Gyptians are my favourites.) rather than someone telling the story naturally.

My problems fall into 5 main categories:

Exposition- An unwillingness to meaningfully expand the source material for a visual medium means Thorne tells and doesn't show crucial plot-points. He then repeats the same thing multiple times because he doesn't trust his audience

Pacing- By stretching out the books and not trusting his audience Thorne dedicates entire scenes to one piece of information and repeats himself constantly (see: the Witches' repetition of the prophecy in S2).

Narrative priorities- Thorne prioritises human drama over fantasy. This makes sense budgetarily, but leads to barely-present Daemons, the Gyptians taking up too much screentime, rushed/badly written Witches (superpowers, exposition) and Bears (armourless bear fight), and a Lyra more focused on familial angst than the joy of discovery

Tension and Mystery- because HDM is in such a hurry to set up its endgame it gives you the answers to S1's biggest mysteries immediately- other worlds, Lyra's parents, what happens to the kids etc. This makes the show less engaging and feel like it's playing catch-up to the audience, not the other way around.

Tonal Inconsistency- HDM tries to be a slow-paced, grounded, adult drama, but its blunt, simplistic dialogue and storytelling methods treat the audience like children that need to be lectured.

MYSTERY, SUSPENSE AND INTRIGUE

The show undercuts all the books’ biggest mysteries. Mrs Coulter is set up as a villain before we meet her, other worlds are revealed in 1x2, Lyra's parents by 1x3, what the Magesterium do to kids is spelled out long before Lyra finds Billy (1x2). I understand not wanting to lose new viewers, but neutering every mystery kills momentum and makes the show much less engaging.

This extends to worldbuilding. The text before 1x1 explains both Daemons and Lyra's destiny before we meet her. Instead of encouraging us to engage with the world and ask questions, we're given all the answers up front and told to sit back and let ourselves be spoon-fed. The viewer is never an active participant, never encouraged to theorise or wonder

 Intrigue motivated you to engage with Pullman's philosophical themes and concepts. Without it, HDM feels like a lecture, a theme park ride and not a journey.

The only one of S1's mysteries left undiminished is 'what is Dust?', which won't be properly answered until S3, and that answer is super conceptual and therefore hard to make dramatically satisfying

TONAL INCONSISTENCY

HDM billed itself as a HBO-level drama, and was advertised as a GoT inheritor. It takes itself very seriously- the few attempts at humour are stilted and out of place

The production design is deliberately subdued, most notably choosing a mid-twentieth century aesthetic for Lyra’s world over the late-Victorian of the books or steampunk of the movie. The colour grading would be appropriate for a serious adult drama. 

Reviewers have said this stops the show feeling as fantastical as it should. It also makes Lyra’s world less distinct from our own. 

Most importantly, minimising the wondrous fantasy of S1 neuters its contrast with the escalating thematic darkness of the finale (from 1x5 onwards), and the impact of Roger’s death. Pullman's books are an adult story told through the eyes of a child. Lyra’s innocence and naivety in the first book is the most important journey of the trilogy. Instead, the show starts serious and thematically heavy (we’re told Lyra has world-saving importance before we even meet her) and stays that way.

Contrasting the serious tone, grounded design and poe-faced characters, the dialogue is written to cater to children. It’s horrendously blunt and pulls you out of scenes. Subtext is obliterated at every opportunity. Even in the most recent episode, 2x7, Pan asks Lyra ‘do you think you’re changing because of Will?’

I cannot understate how on the nose this line is, and how much it undercuts the themes of the final book. Instead of even a meaningful shot of Lyra looking at Will, the show treats the audience like complete idiots. 

So, HDM looks and advertises itself like an adult drama and is desperate to be taken seriously by wearing its big themes on its sleeve from the start instead of letting them evolve naturally out of subtext like the books, and dedicating lots of scenes to Mrs Coulter's self-abuse 

At the same time its dialogue and character writing is comparable to the Star Wars prequels, more childish than media aimed at a similar audience - Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Avatar the Last Airbender etc

DAEMONS

The show gives itself a safety net by explaining Daemons in an opening text-crawl, and so spends less time showing the mechanics of the Daemon-human bond. On the HDM subreddit, I’ve seen multiple people get to 1x5 or 6, and then come to reddit asking basic questions like ‘why do only some people have Daemons?’ or ‘Why are Daemons so important?’.

It’s not that the show didn’t answer these questions; it was in the opening text-crawl. It’s just the show thinks telling you is enough and never shows evidence to back that up. Watching a TV show you remember what you’re shown much easier than what you’re told 

The emotional core of Northern Lights is the relationship between Lyra and Pan. The emotional core of HDM S1 is the relationship between Lyra and Mrs Coulter. This wouldn't be bad- it's a fascinating dynamic Ruth plays wonderfully- if it didn't override the Daemons

Daemons are only onscreen when they serve a narrative purpose. Thorne justifies this because the books only describe Daemons when they tell us about their human. On the page your brain fills the Daemons in. This doesn't work on-screen; you cannot suspend your disbelief when their absence is staring you in the face

Thorne clarified the number of Daemons as not just budgetary, but a conscious creative choice to avoid onscreen clutter. This improved in S2 after vocal criticism.

Mrs Coulter/the Golden Monkey and Lee/Hester have well-drawn relationships in S1, but Pan and Lyra hug more in the 2-hour Golden Compass movie than they do in the 8-hour S1 of HDM. There's barely any physical contact with Daemons at all.

They even cut Pan and Lyra's hug after escaping the Cut in Bolvangar. In the book they can't let go of each other. The show skips it completely because Thorne wants to focus on Mrs Coulter and Lyra.

They cut Pan and Lyra testing how far apart they can be. They cut Lyra freeing the Cut Daemons in Bolvangar with the help of Kaisa. We spent extra time with both Roger and Billy Costa, but didn't develop their bonds with their Daemons- the perfect way to make the Cut more impactful

I don't need every single book scene in the show, but notice that all these cut scenes reinforced how important Daemons are. For how plodding the show is. you'd think they could spare time for these moments instead of inventing new conversations that tell us the information they show

Daemons are treated as separate beings and thus come across more like talking pets than part of a character

The show sets the rules of Daemons up poorly. In 1x2, Lyra is terrified by the Monkey being so far from Coulter, but the viewer has nothing to compare it to. We’re retroactively told in that this is unnatural when the show has yet to establish what ‘natural’ is.

The guillotine blueprint in 1x2 (‘Is that a human and his Daemon, Pan? It looks like it.’ / ‘A blade. To cut what?’) is idiotic. It deflates S1’s main mystery and makes the characters look stupid for not figuring out what they aren’t allowed to until they did in the source material, it also interferes with how the audience sees Daemons. In the book, Cutting isn’t revealed until two-thirds of the way in (1x5). By then we’ve spent a lot of time with Daemons, they’ve become a background part of the world, their ‘rules’ have been established, and we’re endeared to them.

By showing the Guillotine and putting Daemons under threat in the second episode, the show never lets us grow attached. This, combined with their selective presence in scenes, draws attention to Daemons as a plot gimmick and not a natural extension of characters. Like Lyra, the show tells us why Daemons are important before we understand them.

Billy Costa's fate falls flat. It's missing the dried fish/ fake Daemon Tony Markos clings to in the book. Thorne said this 'didn't work' on the day, but it worked in the film. Everyone yelling about Billy not having a Daemon is laughable when most of the background extras in the same scene don't have Daemons themselves

WITCHES

The Witches are the most common complaint about the show. Thorne changed Serafina Pekkala in clever, logical ways (her short hair, wrist-knives and cloud pine in the skin)

The problem is how Serafina is written. The Witches are purely exposition machines. We get no impression of their culture, their deep connection to nature, their understanding of the world. We are told it. It is never shown, never incorporated into the dramatic action of the show.

Thorne emphasises Serafina's warrior side, most obviously changing Kaisa from a goose into a gyrfalcon (apparently a goose didn't work on-screen)

Serafina single-handedly slaughtering the Tartars is bad in a few ways. It paints her as bloodthirsty and ruthless. Overpowering the Witches weakens the logic of the world (If they can do that, why do they let the Magesterium bomb them unchallenged in 2x2?). It strips the Witches of their subtlety and ambiguity for the sake of cinematic action.

A side-effect of Serafina not being with her clan at Bolvangar is limiting our exposure to the Witches. Serafina is the only one invested in the main plot, we only hear about them from what she tells us. This poor set-up weakens the Witch subplot in S2

Lyra doesn’t speak to Serafina until 2x6. She laid eyes on her once in S1.

The dialogue in the S2’s Witch subplot is comparable to the Courasant section of The Phantom Menace. 

Two named characters, neither with any depth (Serafina and Coram's dead son developed him far more than her). The costumes look ostentatious and hokey- the opposite of what the Witches should be. They do nothing but repeat the same exposition at each other, even in 2x7.

We feel nothing when the Witches are bombed because the show never invests us in what is being destroyed- with the amount of time wasted on long establishing shots, there’s not one when Lee Scoresby is talking to the Council.

BEARS

Like the Witches; Thorne misunderstands and rushes the fantasy elements of the story. The 2007 movie executed both Iofur's character and the Bear Fight much better than the show- bloodless jaw-swipe and all

Iofur's court was not the parody of human court in the books. He didn't have his fake-Daemon (hi, Billy)

An armourless bear fight is like not including Pan in the cutting scene. After equating Iorek's armour to a Daemon (Lee does this- we don’t even learn how important it is from Iorek himself, and the comparison meant less because of how badly the show set up Daemons) the show then cuts the plotpoint that makes the armour plot-relevant. This diminishes all of Bear society. Like Daemons, we're told Iorek's armour is important but it's never shown to be more than a cool accessory

GYPTIANS

Gyptians suffer from Hermoine syndrome. Harry Potter screenwriter Steve Kloves' favourite character was Hermione, and so Film!Hermoine lost most of Book!Hermoine's flaws and gained several of Book!Ron's best moments. The Gyptians are Jack Thorne's favourite group in HDM and so they got the extra screentime and development that the more complicated groups/concepts like Witches, Bears, and Daemons (which, unlike the Gyptians, carry over to other seasons amd are more important to the overall story) needed

At the same time, he changes them from a private people into an Isle of Misfit Toys. TV!Ma Costa promises they'll ‘make a Gyptian woman out of Lyra yet’, but in the book Ma specifically calls Lyra out for pretending to be Gyptian, and reminds her she never can be.

This small moment indicates how, while trying to make the show more grounded and 'adult', Thorne simultaneously made it more saccharine and sentimental. He neuters the tragedy of the Cut kids when Ma Costa says they’ll become Gyptians. Pullman's books feel like an adult story told through the eyes of a child. The TV show feels like a child's story masquerading as a serious drama.

LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA

Let me preface this by saying I genuinely really enjoy the performances in the show. It was shot in the foot by The Golden Compass' perfect casting.

The most contentious/'miscast' actor among readers is LMM. Thorne ditched the books' wise Texan for a budget Han Solo. LMM isn't a great dramatic actor (even in Hamilton he was the weak link performance-wise) but he makes up for it in marketability- lots of people tried the show because of him

Readers dislike that LMM's Lee is a thief and a scoundrel, when book-Lee is so moral he and Hester argue about stealing. Personally, I like the change in concept. Book!Lee's parental love for Lyra just appears. It's sweet, but not tied to a character arc. Done right, Lyra out-hustling Lee at his own game and giving him a noble cause to fight for (thus inspiring the moral compass of the books) is a more compelling arc.

DAFNE KEENE AND LYRA

I thought Dafne would be perfect casting. Her feral energy in Logan seemed a match made in heaven. Then Jack Thorne gave her little to do with it.

Compare how The Golden Compass introduced Lyra, playing Kids and Gobblers with a group of Gyptian kids, including Billy Costa. Lyra and Roger are chased to Jordan by the Gyptians and she makes up a lie about a curse to scare the Gyptians away.

In one scene the movie set up: 1) the Gobblers (the first we hear of them in the show is in retrospect, Roger worrying AFTER Billy is taken) 2) Lyra’s pre-existing relationship with the Gyptians (not in the show), 3) Friendship with Billy Costa (not in the book or show) 4) Lyra’s ability to befriend and lead groups of people, especially kids, and 5) Lyra’s ability to lie impressively

By comparison, it takes until midway through 1x2 for TV!Lyra to tell her first lie, and even then it’s a paper-thin attempt. 

The show made Roger Lyra’s only friend. This artificially heightens the impact of Roger's death, but strips Lyra of her leadership qualities and ability to befriend anyone. 

Harry Potter fans talk about how Book!Harry is funnier and smarter than Film!Harry. They cut his best lines ('There's no need to call me sir, Professor') and made him blander and more passive. The same happened to Lyra.

Most importantly, Lyra is not allowed to lie for fun. She can't do anything 'naughty' without being scolded. This colours the few times Lyra does lie (e.g. to Mrs Coulter in 1x2) negatively and thus makes Lyra out to be more of a brat than a hero.

This is a problem with telling Northern Lights from an outside, 'adult' perspective- to most adults Lyra is a brat. Because we’re introduced to her from inside her head, we think she's great. It's only when we meet her through Will's eyes in The Subtle Knife and she's filthy, rude and half-starved that we realise Lyra bluffs her way through life and is actually pretty non-functional

Thorne prioritises grounded human drama over fantasy, and so his Lyra has her love of bears and witches swapped for familial angst. (and, in S2. angst over Roger). By exposing Mrs Coulter as her mother early, Thorne distracts TV!Lyra from Book!Lyra’s love of the North. The contrast between wonder and reality made NL's ending a definitive threshold between innocence and knowledge. Thorne showed his hand too early.

Similarly, TV!Lyra doesn’t have anywhere near as strong an admiration for Lord Asriel. She calls him out in 1x8 (‘call yourself a Father’), which Book!Lyra never would because she’s proud to be his child. From her perspective, at this point Asriel is the good parent.

TV!Lyra’s critique of Asriel feels like Thorne using her as a mouthpiece to voice his own, adult perspective on the situation. Because Lyra is already disappointed in Asriel, his betrayal in the finale isn’t as effective. Pullman saves the ‘you’re a terrible Father’ call-out for the 3rd book for a reason; Lyra’s naive hero-worship of Asriel in Northern Lights makes the fall from Innocence into Knowledge that Roger’s death represents more effective.  

So, on TV Lyra is tamer, angstier, more introverted, less intelligent, less fun and more serious. We're just constantly told she's important, even before we meet her.

MRS COULTER (AND LORD ASRIEL)

Mrs Coulter is the main character of the show. Not Lyra. Mrs Coulter was cast first, and Lyra was cast based on a chemistry test with Ruth Wilson. Coulter’s character is given lots of extra development, where the show actively strips Lyra of her layers.

To be clear, I have no problem with developing Mrs Coulter. She is a great character Ruth Wilson plays phenomenally. I do have a problem with the show fixating on her at the expense of other characters.

Lyra's feral-ness is given to her parents. Wilson and McAvoy are more passionate than in the books. This is fun to watch, but strips them of subtlety- you never get Book!Coulter's hypnotic allure from Wilson, she's openly nasty, even to random strangers (in 2x3 her dismissal of the woman at the hotel desk felt like a Disney villain). 

Compare how The Golden Compass (2007) introduced Mrs Coulter through Lyra’s eyes, with light, twinkling music and a sparkling dress. By contrast, before the show introduces Coulter it tells us she’s associated with the evil Magisterium plotting Asriel’s death- “Not a word to any of our mutual friends. Including her.” Then she’s introduced striding down a corridor to imposing ‘Bad Guy’ strings.

Making Mrs Coulter’s villainy so obvious so early makes Lyra look dumber for falling for it. It also wastes an interesting phase of her character arc. Coulter is rushed into being a ’conflicted evil mother’ in 2 episodes, and stays in that phase for the rest of the show so far. Character progression is minimised because she circles the same place.

It makes her one-note. It's a good note (so much of the positive online chatter is saphiccs worshiping Ruth Wilson) but the show also worships her to the point of hindrance- e.g. take a shot every time Coulter walks slow-motion down a corridor in 2x2

The problem isn’t the performances, but how prematurely they give the game away. Just like the mysteries around Bolvangar and Lyra’s parentage. Neither Coulter or Asriel have much chance to use their 'public' faces. 

This is part of a bigger pacing problem- instead of rolling plot points out gradually, Thorne will stick the solution in front of you early and then stall for time until it becomes relevant. Instead of building tension this builds frustration and makes the show feel like it's catching up to the audience. This also makes the characters less engaging. You've already shown Mrs Coulter is evil/Boreal is in our world/Asriel wants Roger. Why are you taking so long getting to the point?

PACING AND EDITING

This show takes forever to make its point badly.

Scenes in HDM tend to operate on one level- either 'Character Building,' 'Exposition,' or 'Plot Progression'.

E.g. Mary's introduction in 2x2. Book!Mary only listens to Lyra because she’s sleep and caffeine-deprived and desperate because her funding is being cut. But the show stripped that subtext out and created an extra scene of a colleague talking to Mary about funding. They removed emotional subtext to focus on exposition, and so the scene felt empty and flat.

In later episodes characters Mary’s sister and colleagues do treat her like a sleep-deprived wreck. But, just like Lyra’s lying, the show doesn’t establish these characteristics in her debut episode. It waits until later to retroactively tell us they were there. Mary’s colleague saying ‘What we’re dealing with here is the fact that you haven’t slept in weeks’ is as flimsy as Pan joking not lying to Mary will be hard for Lyra.

Rarely does a scene work on multiple levels, and if it does it's clunky- see the exposition dump about Daemon Separation in the middle of 2x2's Witch Trial.

He also splits plot progression into tiny doses, which destroys pacing. It's more satisfying to focus on one subplot advancing multiple stages than all of them shuffling forward half a step each episode.

Subplots would be more effective if all the scenes played in sequence. As it is, plotlines can’t build momentum and literal minutes are wasted using the same establishing shots every time we switch location.

The best-structured episodes of S1 are 1x4, 1x6, and 1x8. This is because they have the fewest subplots (incidentally these episodes have least Boreal in them) and so the main plot isn’t diluted by constantly cutting away to Mrs Coulter sniffing Lyra’s coat or Will watching a man in a car through his window, before cutting back again. 

The best-written episode so far is 2x5. The Scholar. Tellingly, it’s the only episode Thorne doesn’t have even a co-writing credit on. 2x5 is well-paced, its dialogue is more naturalistic, it’s more focused, it even has time for moments of whimsy (Monkey with a seatbelt, Mrs Coulter with jeans, Lyra and Will whispering) that don’t detract from the story.

Structurally, 2x5  works because A) it benches Lee’s plotline. B) The Witches and Magisterium are relegated to a scene each. And C) the Coulter/Boreal and Lyra/Will subplots move towards the same goal. Not only that, but when we check in on Mary’s subplot it’s through Mrs Coulter’s eyes and directly dovetails into the  main action of the episode.

2x5 has a lovely sense of narrative cohesion because it has the confidence to sit with one set of characters for longer than two scenes at a time.

HDM also does this thing where it will have a scene with plot A where characters do or talk about something, cut away to plot B for a scene, then cut back to plot A where the characters talk about what happened in their last scene and painstakingly explain how they feel about it and why

Example: Pan talking to Will in 2x7 while Lyra pretends to be asleep. This scene is from the 3rd book, and is left to breathe for many chapters before Lyra brings it up. In the show after the Will/Pan scene they cut away to another scene, then cut back and Lyra instantly talks about it.

There’s the same problem in 2x5: After escaping Mrs Coulter, Lyra spells out how she feels about acting like her

The show never leaves room for implication, never lets us draw our own conclusions before explaining what it meant and how the characters feel about it immediately afterwards. The audience are made passive in their engagement with the characters as well as the world    

LORD BOREAL, JOHN PARRY AND DIMINISHING RETURNS

At first, Boreal’s subplot in S1 felt bold and inspired. The twist of his identity in The Subtle Knife would've been hard to pull off onscreen anyway. As a kid I struggled to get past Will's opening chapter of TSK and I have friends who were the same. Introducing Will in S1 and developing him alongside Lyra was a great idea.

I loved developing Elaine Parry and Boreal into present, active characters. But the subplot was introduced too early and moved too slowly, bogging down the season.

In 1x2 Boreal crosses. In 1x3 we learn who he's looking for. In 1x5 we meet Will. In 1x7 the burglary. 1 episode worth of plot is chopped up and fed to us piecemeal across many. Boreal literally stalls for two episodes before the burglary- there are random 30 second shots of him sitting in a car watching John Parry on YouTube (videos we’d already seen) completely isolated from any other scenes in the episode

By the time we get to S2 we've had 2 seasons of extended material building up Boreal, so when he just dies like in the books it's anticlimactic. The show frontloads his subplot with meaning without expanding on its payoff, so the whole thing fizzles out. 

Giving Boreal, the secondary villain in literally every episode, the same death as a background character in about 5 scenes in the novels feels cheap. It doesn’t help that, after 2x5 built the tension between Coulter and Boreal so well, as soon as Thorne is passed the baton in 2x6 he does little to maintain that momentum. Again, because the subplot is crosscut with everything else the characters hang in limbo until Coulter decides to kill him.

I’ve been watching non-book readers react to the show, and several were underwhelmed by Boreal’s quick, unceremonious end. 

Similarly, the show builds up John Parry from 1x3 instead of just the second book. Book!John’s death is an anticlimax but feels narratively justified. In the show, we’ve spent so much extra time talking about him and then being with him (without developing his character beyond what’s in the novels- Pullman even outlined John’s backstory in The Subtle Knife’s appendix. How hard would it be to add a flashback or two?) that when John does nothing in the show and then dies (he doesn’t even heal Will’s fingers like in the book- only tell him to find Asriel, which the angels Baruch and Balthamos do anyway) it doesn’t feel like a clever, tragic subversion of our expectations, it feels like a waste that actively cheapens the audience’s investment.

TL;DR giving supporting characters way more screentime than they need only, to give their deaths the same weight the books did after far less build up makes huge chunks of the show feel less important than they were presented to be. 

FRUSTRATINGLY LIMITED EXPANSION AND NOVELLISTIC STORYTELLING

Thorne is unwilling to meaningfully develop or expand characters and subplots to fit a visual medium. He introduces a plot-point, invents unnecessary padding around it, circles it for an hour, then moves on.

Pullman’s books are driven by internal monologue and big, complex theological concepts like Daemons and Dust. Instead of finding engaging, dynamic ways to dramatise these concepts through the actions of characters or additions to the plot, Thorne turns Pullman’s internal monologue into dialogue and has the characters explain them to the audience

The novels’ perspective on its characters is narrow, first because Northern Lights is told only from Lyra’s POV, and second because Pullman’s writing is plot-driven, not character-driven. Characters are vessels for the plot and themes he wants to explore.

This is a fine way of writing novels. When adapting the books into a longform drama, Thorne decentralised Lyra’s perspective from the start, and HDM S1 uses the same multi-perspective structure that The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass do, following not only Lyra but the Gyptians, Mrs Coulter, Boreal, Will and Elaine etc

However, these other perspectives are limited. We never get any impression of backstory or motivation beyond the present moment. Many times I’ve seen non-book readers confused or frustrated by vague or non-existent character motivations.

For example, S1 spends a lot of time focused on Ma Costa’s grief over Billy’s disappearance, but we never see why she’s sad, because we never saw her interact with Billy.

Compare this to another show about a frantic mother and older brother looking for a missing boy. Stranger Things uses only two flashbacks to show us Will Byers’ relationships with his family: 1) When Joyce Byers looks in his Fort she remembers visiting Will there. 2) The Clash playing on the radio reminds Jonathan Byers of introducing Will to the song.

In His Dark Materials we never see the Costas as a happy family- 1x1’s Gyptian ceremony focuses on Tony and Daemon-exposition. Billy never speaks to his mum or brother in the show 

Instead we have Ma Costa’s empty grief. The audience has to do the work (the bad kind) imagining what she’s lost. Instead of seeing Billy, it’s just repeated again and again that they will get the children back.

If we’re being derivative, HDM had the chance to segway into a Billy flashback when John Faa brings one of his belongings back from a Gobbler safehouse in 1x2. This is a perfect The Clash/Fort Byers-type trigger. It doesn’t have to be long- the Clash flashback lasted 1:27, the Fort Byers one 55 seconds. Just do something.

1x3 beats into us that Mrs Coulter is nuts without explaining why. Lots of build-up for a single plot-point. Then we're told Mrs Coulter's origin, not shown. This is a TV show. Swap Boreal's scenes for flashbacks of Coulter and Asriel's affair. Then, when Ma Costa tells Lyra the truth, show the fight between Edward Coulter and Asriel.

To be clear, Thorne's additions aren’t fundamentally bad. For example, Will boxing sets up his struggle with violence. But it's wasted. The burglary/murder in 1x7 fell flat because of bad editing, but the show never uses its visual medium to show Will's 'violent side'- no change in camera angle, focus, or sound design, nothing. It’s just a thing that’s there, unsupported by the visual language of the show

The Magisterium scenes in 2x2 were interesting. We just didn't need 5 of them; their point could be made far more succinctly.

In 2x6 there is a minute-long scene of Mary reading the I Ching. Later, there is another scene of Angelica watching Mary sitting somewhere different, doing the SAME THING, and she sees an Angel. Why split these up? It’s not like either the I Ching or the Angels are being introduced here. Give the scene multiple layers.

Thorne either takes good character moments from the books (Lyra/Will in 2x1) or uses heavy-handed exposition that reiterates the same point multiple times. This hobbles the Witches (their dialogue in 2x1, 2 and 3 literally rephrases the same sentiment about protecting Lyra without doing anything). Even character development- see Lee monologuing his and Mrs Coulter's childhood trauma in specific detail in 2x3

This is another example of Thorne adding something, but instead of integrating it into the dramatic action and showing us, it’s just talked about. What’s the point of adding big plot points if you don’t dramatise them in your dramatic, visual medium? In 2x8, Lee offhandedly mentions playing Alamo Gulch as a kid.

I’m literally screaming, Jack, why the flying fuck wasn’t there a flashback of young Lee and Hester playing Alamo Gulch and being stopped by his abusive dad? It’s not like you care about pacing with the amount of dead air in these episodes, even when S2’s run 10 minutes shorter than S1’s. Lee was even asleep at the beginning of 2x3, Jack! He could’ve woken from a nightmare about his childhood! It’s a little lazy, but better than nothing.

There’s a similar missed opportunity making Dr Lanselius a Witchling. If this idea had been introduced with the character in 1x4, it would’ve opened up so many storytelling possibilities. Linking to Fader Coram’s own dead witchling son. It could’ve given us that much-needed perspective on Witch culture. Imagine Lanselius’ bittersweet meeting with his ageless mother, who gave him up when he reached manhood. Then, when the Magisterium bombs the Witches in 2x2, Lanselius’ mother dies so it means something.

Instead it’s only used to facilitate an awkward exposition dump in the middle of a trial.

The point of this fanfic-y ramble is to illustrate my frustration with the additions; If Thorne had committed and meaningfully expanded and interwoven them with the source material, they could’ve strengthened its weakest aspect (the characters). But instead he stays committed to novelistic storytelling techniques of monologue and two people standing in a room talking at each other

(Seriously, count the number of scenes that are just two people standing in a room or corridor talking to each other. No interesting staging, the characters aren’t doing anything else while talking. They. Just. Stand.) 

SEASON 2 IMPROVEMENTS

S2 improved some things- Lyra's characterisation was more book-accurate, her dynamic with Will was wonderful. Citigazze looked incredible. LMM won lots of book fans over as Lee. Mary was brilliantly cast. Now there are less Daemons, they're better characterised- Pan gets way more to do now and Hester had some lovely moments. 

I genuinely believe 2x1, 2x3, 2x4 and 2x5 are the best HDM has been. 

But new problems arose. The Subtle Knife lost the central, easy to understand drive of Northern Lights (finding the missing kids) for lots of smaller quests. As a result, everyone spends the first two episodes of S2 waiting for the plot to arrive. The big inciting incident of Lyra’s plotline is the theft of the alethiometer, which doesn’t happen until 2x3. Similarly, Lee doesn’t search for John until 2x3. Mrs Coulter doesn’t go looking for Lyra until 2x3. 

On top of missing a unifying dramatic drive, the characters now being split across 3 worlds, instead of the 1+a bit of ours in S1, means the pacing/crosscutting problems (long establishing shots, repetition of information, undercutting momentum) are even worse. The narrative feels scattered and incohesive.   

These flaws are inherent to the source  material and are not the show’s fault, but neither does it do much to counterbalance or address them, and the flaws of the show combine with the difficulties of TSK as source material and make each other worse.

A lot of this has been entitled fanboy bitching, but you can't deny the show is in a bad place ratings-wise. It’s gone from the most watched new British show in 5 years to the S2 premiere having a smaller audience than the lowest-rated episode of Doctor Who Series 12. For comparison, DW's current cast and showrunner are the most unpopular since the 80s, some are actively boycotting it, it took a year-long break between series 11 and 12, had its second-worst average ratings since 2005, and costs a fifth of what HDM does to make. And it's still being watched by more people.

Critical consensus fluctuates wildly. Most laymen call the show slow and boring. The show is simultaneously too niche and self-absorbed to attract a wide audience and gets just enough wrong to aggravate lots of fans.

I’m honestly unsure if S3 will get the same budget. I want it to, if only because of my investment in the books. Considering S2 started filming immediately after S1 aired, I think they've had a lot more time to process and apply critique for S3. On the plus side, there's so much plot in The Amber Spyglass it would be hard to have the same pacing problems. But also so many new concepts that I dread the exposition dumps.

[sparrows-things]

My live thoughts on OUAT 1x2: The Thing You Love Most

1. The narrator for the recap’s voice is okay. The recap is an amazing summary of the pilot.

2. Everyone is so amazed at the clock working. Regina is reading the book and sees that pages are missing. Regina is giving Emma an apple just like she did with her mother.

3. Back to the wedding scene but at least we get a better grasp on Regina’s powers. Her servant is so sweet. Her mirror is sassy and is full of exposition. Regina just said that she is selfish.

4. Maleficent’s hair and crown is a choice! Her pony is cute though. She is aware that Regina is extra and throws excellent shade. Regina lost a loved one because of Snow White. Regina, do you really think that throwing fire onto a dragon lady and nearly killing her pet is a good plan? It did work, though. So, this how you treat your friend? I hate to see how you treat your enemies.

5. Regina really out here nearly killing people for stuff she wants. Regina’s curse didn’t work and that’s funny as heck. Her mirror’s town counterpart works at The Storybrooke Daily Mirror and his name is Sydney Glass and that is extremely fitting. Emma was a troubled foster kid.

6. Emma just assumes Graham is hitting on her but the poor man is just drinking his coffee. Henry just bought Emma a drink so that they could walk to school together and that’s odd. Henry introduces Operation: Cobra to Emma and says the first step is Identification. Mary Margret is happy that Emma stayed. Mary Margaret tells Emma that she is Snow White. Emma seems pleased.

7. Emma meets Archie and asks him about Henry and the fairytales. He seems to care about Henry but he is working with Regina. Poor Emma is being set up by Regina. Henry sees right through Regina and her plan to discredit Regina. Emma and Graham have amazing chemistry. Mary Margret bails Emma out like the good mom that she is. Emma is dumb for destroying property right after getting bailed out.

8. Rumpelstiltskin gave Regina the curse. All curses can be broken. Rumple just wants comfort and a favor. He still has his memories. He tells her that she needs to sacrifice the heart of who she loves most. Regina murdered her own daddy, how horrible.

9. Granny has to kick out Emma for being a felon. She doesn’t want too though. Graham refused to arrest Emma again. Graham speaking facts about that the only person this will hurt is Henry. Emma wants to protect Henry. Archie warned her about saying the word “crazy”. Regina is extremely manipulative.

10. Regina’s dad knows that Rumple gave her the curse. She chose punishing Snow over a new life with her dad. She burns his heart and the curse begins. Henry is named after her father.

11. Emma comes to live with Mary Margaret and apologizes to Henry. Emma destroys the pages.

12. Rumpelstiltskin\Mr. Gold got Henry for Regina. He is no snitch. Does he remember his life before Storybrooke or are the writers just playing us?

[kiss-my-freckle]

The Stag & The Wendigo

"What particular body you currently occupy is trivial." - Hannibal

Hannibal is the wendigo (man-stag). The stag is a representation of Will's "devil" within (just as “The Dragon” is the devil within Francis). Viewed as a separate being due to Will’s internal struggle. I refuse to call it a ravenstag because the reference is absurd. This is my theory on the stag & the wendigo. Feel free to let me know if I missed any.

“So you set his mind on fire.”

(1x1: Apéritif) It waits by his side as Will showers.  

(1x2: Amuse-Bouche) It disappears down the hall as Alana’s footsteps are waking Will. It was never in the room with Abigail because it’s too dangerous to be, as shown in 1x3. 

(1x3: Potage) Will dreams he slits Abigail's throat just as Hobbs did. It watches, but disappears when Will wakes. The difference shows in the stag and the way Will wakes. Sudden beeping of an alarm clock, scaring the stag into the woods. Slowly waking Will, stag takes his time walking down the hall. 

(1x5: Coquilles) It walks behind Will when he sleepwalks down the road. It nudges him to keep going. Perfect place to put this line of dialogue: “You drew a man with a freak on his back.” Will is drawn to the stag statue in Hannibal's office. “My brain is playing tricks on me?” He touches it.

(1x6: Entrée) It walks through the door of his classroom because Will is half-awake. This is shown in Jack's dialogue before the cut: “I know when I’m awake.” Will doesn’t know when he is. “I'm not even sure if I'm awake now." Alana’s voice wakes Will, and the stag disappears. 

(1x7: Sorbet) Will sees it entering the hotel bathroom as he reenacts the crime scene. The devil within a man likes to kill, but he has to remain a separate being until Will accepts what he is. 

(1x8: Fromage) Hannibal kills Tobias with the stag statue because he fears Will is dead: “I was worried you were dead.” The stag left on the floor represents Will’s death, thus... the death of his devil within. This pushes forward to the stag in 2x13, dying on the floor next to Will and Abigail.

(1x11: Rôti) It pushes him to Gideon’s car because Will knows he isn’t gone, and he plans to take him at gunpoint. 

(1x12: Relevés) Georgia’s murder helps him connect Hannibal’s kills back through to the murder of Cassie Boyle. The stag impales her, then Georgia becomes the stag. “See? See?” 

Preparing for the wendigo to appear as two separate beings. 

(1x13: Savoureux) In dream: Will takes a rifle shot at the stag and chases it into the woods. The wendigo appears, kneeling at the tree to look at the blood he left behind. Will wakes as he comes face-to-face with the wendigo. 

(1x13: Savoureux) "Like a thread through pearls." The wendigo is shown throughout, starting with the dream sequence. It lurks behind the one way mirror, it stands behind Hannibal as he and Will replay the events, then Hannibal takes its shape at the Hobbs’ residence. 

(2x1: Kaiseki) It walks by the stream as Will imagines himself fly fishing. The wendigo comes out of the water when Will tells Chilton, "I want to talk to Dr. Lecter." He's in the water because Will plans to catch him like a fish. He sees a stag hoof outside of his cell because he hears Hannibal's shoes tapping across the floor. Similarly to Hannibal taking the stand in 2x3. Focus is placed on his shoes as he's walking into the courtroom. Hearing the animal, seeing the man. He sees the wendigo when Alana tries to help him recover his memories. 

(2x2: Sakizuke) Will sees the wendigo peering through the top of the silo because he knows Hannibal killed the mural killer. 

(2x3: Hassun) As I said of the stag hoof in 2x1, they placed focus on Hannibal's shoes as he entered the courtroom. Hearing the animal, then seeing the man. The wendigo in a person suit. Will comes to a realization in his dream. His cell door opens. When he walks out, he sees the stag at the end of the hall. It wants Will to follow him, so he does. When he reaches the end of the hall, Hannibal calls out to him. Will turns to see him as a man instead of the wendigo. He’s standing by Will’s cell. Hannibal extends his hand, motioning for him to return. Through his dream, Will basically realizes Hannibal isn't the stag. He wouldn’t direct him down the hall only to direct him back to his cell, and he can't be in two places at once. If Hannibal isn’t the stag, this only leaves one possibility in Will’s mind. IMO, one of the most important stag scenes. He now knows what it represents. Will’s knowing gives us the stag scene in 2x5. I should also make mention to the scene prior because it’s the reason Jack gets left behind in the series finale. 

(2x5: Mukōzuke) Will sees the wendigo lurking behind Beverly’s body, cut into sections and placed on slides because he knows Hannibal killed her. Will becomes the stag after sending his admirer to kill Hannibal. Will’s realization in 2x3... the stag is his devil within.

(2x6: Futamono) Will's antlers grow through the roof of his cage and expand. “He's playing a game and he's not scared, not anymore. That's what's making him dangerous." Indeed. He’s building his rack, preparing to impale on a serious level.

(2x9: Shiizakana) This episode makes it a little more obvious. "Must I denounce myself as a monster while you still refuse to see the one growing inside you?" Will dreams of using it to kill Hannibal who appears as the wendigo prior to his decapitation. The devil within a man likes to kill, it’s less personal/intimate for Will, and the "good" part of himself remains clean. This scene also acts as an introduction to Randall Tier, a young man who sees himself as an animal. During his crime scene replay, Will sends the stag to kill the couple, then he himself transforms into what I'd call a semi-wendigo. 

(2x10: Naka-choko) Because Will knows Hannibal sent Randall to kill him, his mind turns the bear into a stag, then the stag into Hannibal and the wendigo. When Hannibal puts on his kill suit and heads to Freddie's room, a stag picture is shown hanging above her bed. Foreshadowing. "Are you thinking about getting into bed with Freddie Lounds?" Freddie is at Will's house, the picture represents Will "getting into bed" with Freddie because he has no choice. He's baiting the wendigo. Before I get into the sex scene, pointing out something I noticed while watching 1x13 wendigo scenes: "Wind him up and watch him go. And apparently, Dr. Lecter, this is how I go." There's a certain sound sequence that plays in those scenes when the wendigo winds Will up to watch him go. It winds him up in his dream, after he vomits Abigail’s ear, in the interrogation room, and as he pulls a gun on Hannibal at Hobbs’ house. It also winds him up during their sex scene in this episode. Will is sexually driven by Hannibal. He’s winding him up and watching him go. 

(2x11: Kō No Mono) The opening scene appears to be a dream, but I'm not sure if it's a dream or just a representation. Either way, the wendigo follows a stag. It watches as the stag dies and Will emerges from its belly as a semi-stag. It's basically meant to come off as a rebirth, similarly to Peter’s storyline with the horses at the stable. I believe this scene appears at the open because it follows the final scene in the previous episode. In that scene, I believe Will was eating actual human flesh, as it shows his face becoming Hannibal’s before they cut to black. The wendigo appears as Shiva in Hannibal’s office. “Did you know?” Will's belief that Hannibal is the reason Margot turned to him to get pregnant, so he sees Hannibal as the destroyer of Abigail and the creator of his Verger heir. 

(2x13: Mizumono) "I build forts." Will returns home after meeting with Jack and Hannibal. The side-by-side doesn't show who he's truly siding with, only how he feels. “Good" Will wants to be loyal to Jack, the devil within wants to be loyal to Hannibal. He's friends with both. When he reaches his porch, he sees Hobbs waiting for him. This scene reveals who he's siding with. "See? See?" Will finally sees what he was meant to after shooting Hobbs ten times. He has two options. This episode offers the first: Kill the devil within. He and Hobbs are shown in a tree house. He takes aim at the stag on the ground and fires. Once Will saw himself in Abigail's position (wanted for the murder of Randall Tier), he decided to switch sides and disappear with Hannibal, but arrived at his house too late. At the end of the episode, the stag is shown on the floor right beside him and Abigail because it’s his devil within. They’re dying together. He betrayed the wendigo, and he can’t kill the devil within without killing himself. It’s part of who he is whether he likes it or not. 

(3x2: Primavera) Picking up where they left off in season two. The stag's blood floods Hannibal's kitchen. In his hospital bed, Will hallucinates being stabbed in the gut from the inside out by one of the wendigo's antlers because Hannibal cut into him. Association. Hannibal saw Antony Dimmond as the man he was before Will's betrayal twisted him up. “I'm here to help you untwist to our mutual benefit.” Antony wanted to untwist him as Hannibal wanted to untwist Will. “It's a savage pleasure, and we are born to it. A pleasure we can share." He basically says the same thing when they take off to face The Dragon. "You'd be much more comfortable if you relaxed with yourself." Typically, Will sees Hannibal as the wendigo, but roles reverse with Antony. The eating of the heart. Antony treated Hannibal as Hannibal treated Will. The stag is skinned of his person suit, his broken heart left for WiIl to eat. I made mention to this on one of my rewatch posts. Vide Cor Meum (See My Heart). The soundtrack at the end of 1x13 as Hannibal walks into the mental hospital to see Will. It’s based on Dante’s first sonnet. 

(3x3: Secondo) Antlers behind Will as he sits by the fire. Chiyoh is cooking dinner for her prisoner. Again, perfect place to put this dialogue: “You drew a man with a freak on his back.” 

(3x5: Contorno) Will hallucinates Chiyoh dead in a thicket of antlers. She pushes him off the train. The stag nudges Will awake, then walks down the tracks. His devil within basically telling him to move his ass. 

(3x7: Digestivo) How Will sees the wendigo as Hannibal saws into his head. The way he sees the wendigo and Jack, their faces deformed as they are... it appears somewhat similar to the way he saw Hannibal’s face when he was suffering from encephalitis. 

(3x6: Dolce) The dinner sene. Hannibal as the wendigo. Will on one antler, Hannibal on the other. "They are identically different, Hannibal and Will."

(3x8: The Great Red Dragon) Behind Chilton in the office as he talks with Alana. Foreshadowing. Because Will’s opinion counts. “Hard to believe an inmate's opinion will count for anything in the professional community." Yes, it’s going to sting.

The same position as the “pet” photograph in 3x12. I believe “This is the child of a nightmare” is a quote from Chilton’s book on Hannibal. I think Will realized it was a book of lies, and knew Chilton was planning to cash in again by writing a book of lies on The Dragon. 

(3x9: …And the Woman Clothed with the Sun) Hannibal's wendigo reflection in a mirror shard. They don’t show Will’s reflection. I believe they were left with a choice to make. Keep them as they are, or switch the stag to a lion and the wendigo to a tiger. 

Will’s second option: Become stronger than the stag. “I’m stronger than The Dragon now.”

[lemontrash]

Epithets; the Pros and Pitfalls

Ok gang, so recently the topic of epithets in fanfic has come up and this is a topic I have been thinking about a LOT for A LONG TIME so I figured maybe now is the time to share my thoughts on phrases like ‘the braided baka’ and ‘the ebony-eyed Chinese pilot’ and what some of the pitfalls are in using epithets to enrich your writing. 

NOTE: I am not slamming the use of epithets! I am not coming into your fic from 25 years ago saying ‘shame!’. I am only maintaining that these are tricky to get right, and to raise awareness of how epithets can be a really useful, powerful tool of description but also a double-edged blade. 

What is an Epithet Anyway?

An epithet is a word or phrase applied to a person or thing to describe an actual or attributed quality, in addition to or instead of their name, and which are used to identify. 

On one side of tradition, they are poetic. Homer, writer of the Odyssey, was a big fan of these. ‘The wine dark sea’, ‘rosy fingered Dawn’, and ‘Nausicaa of the long white arms’ are some of his most famous, never mind ‘Apollo, destroyer of mice!’. In his works they were generally descriptive, or talked directly to the schemata (the perceptions and understanding) of his audience. 

Everyone knows Achaeans are super hairy, right? You know that. 

On another side of tradition, they are identifiers. If you have a populace named virtually nothing but John, Richard and Henry and you’re not used to using family names, then calling this John ‘Long John’ and that John ‘Little John’ helps direct attention to the right person. Or to acknowledge their good or bad deeds/attributes (Peter the Brave vs Stinky Pete, for example) or their lineage (Aragorn son of Arathorn/ John of Gaunt). They can be used for comedic purposes as a device to make purposefully similar characters more amusing (Wee Jock, Big Jock and Smaller-than-Big-Jock-but-Bigger-than-Wee-Jock Jock all agreed to steal the sheep. The Pirate with the Peg Leg and the Pirate with the Clothes Peg boarded the ship.)

But notice that many of these epithets still use people’s names or are direct substitutions for when a name isn’t known. And they are largely subjective - epithets carry not only description but opinion - the opinion of society at large or the opinion of the individual speaker - and pinpoint value - what it IS about this person we should pay attention to. 

And that means epithets can be used to praise, (Richard the Lionheart), to criticise (Bad King John), and to stereotype (those hairy Achaeans). 

Oh and these are just epithets used for people. Epithets come in other forms, for example:

“The earth is crying-sweet, And scattering-bright the air, Eddying, dizzying, closing round, With soft and drunken laughter…”

The highlighted parts of Beauty and Beauty by Rupert Brooke are also epithets. But i’m going to focus on those used to describe people in this discussion.

In short, epithets always carry meaning in two ways - they focus on what the user feels is perceptively important about the subject of the epithet, and as a result, when we look through the lens of an epithet, our view of a character narrows.  

Why are they Great? 

Because they’re poetic by nature; they add interest and often eloquence. And because they tell us so much about the point of view of the user. They can add new facets to characters and give writers a secondary means of identifying characters to reduce name fatigue, or differentiate between otherwise similar characters. They can be comedic or evocative. They can show the changeability of characters as they develop or when circumstances change. Clever Odysseus, Lord of Men can become Pitiable Odysseus, hated by the sea.  

But because they are poetic, because they carry opinion and because they are inherently narrow in their focus, there’s a whole bunch of pitfalls to be aware of when using epithets. Getting this wrong, well, maybe you just make your story harder to follow. Get it very wrong, and at worst you could genuinely offend someone. 

What’s the Problem with Poetry?

The first basic issue you may encounter is that your epithets are too vague or are being overused.

‘My better half’ is an epithet. But if he (she? they?) has not been introduced in any capacity and you also alternate referring to him (her? them?) as ‘the hardened police officer’ and ‘the sloe-eyed beauty’ I might be forgiven for losing track of how many people are in the scene, how they’re related and how I should be thinking of them. Especially early in a story where i’m still getting up to speed with the setting. Here your epithets are muddying the story and it’s a situation where you should be using names. Even for fanfic where we’re assuming that the characters are familiar to everyone, you should be clearly introducing your version of the characters, because generally readers like to know they’re on the same page from the start rather than get thrown for a loop later on. And also you can’t be sure what your reader is thinking, so tell them. 

Don’t forget that a NAME captures the whole of a person. Epithets only capture a slice.

You may also make your epithets too purple. ‘The azure-orbed golden-haired CEO’ is a mouthful, and may be adding detail that is irrelevant to the scene; imaging encountering that in a scene where Quatre is busy slashing through Leos in a desert battle. Who is stopping to think about that? Why does it deserve a spotlight right here, right now?

The other type of overuse is to pick one epithet that is your favourite and use it for every other mention of that character. Because epithets carry more meaning than names this is a little like shouting that character’s name through a bullhorn. It’s great the first couple of times - Wow! Exciting! Memorable! - but it fatigues faster than using their name would have. The epithet can then become annoying (’I know he’s got long hair, stop saying it!’) or at very very worst it can become othering. You will alienate your reader from the character, and at the absolute worst, this may mean your reader either comes out with expressions of an attitude to that character that you had no intention of courting or encouraging, or they think YOU have those attitudes and go away from your story thinking ‘wow, that was a well-written story but OOF. that guy’s got some uncomfortable feelings about stuff’.

Whose Line is it Anyway?

Epithets can be factual. They can be based on things you know, I know, and (most importantly) everyone in the story knows. For example, ‘The Wing Gundam Pilot’ is a factual epithet for Heero and is based on knowledge accessible and agreed by 99% of people. 

It would still not work if the narrative POV is a character who doesn’t know Heero or doesn’t recognise him as a Gundam Pilot at all. E.G. He’s in disguise and questioning Abdul, who has never met him before.  

And this is because epithets are still directional. They convey an understanding or a focus from the user to the reader, regardless of if the user is a character within the story, or the voice of the author themselves. And that’s where it can get weird. 

Let’s say I’m writing a story from Rashid’s POV. As a person, he is unlikely to be fussed about the colour of Heero’s eyes, or the fact that Trowa is tall because Rashid is too pragmatic to give a hoot if your eyes are blue or not, and literally everyone is a shrimp compared to Rashid. So in that story, epithets like ‘The azure-eyed pilot’ or ‘the tall pilot’ would be strange if not meaningless coming from that character, and in fact would break the 4th wall by forcing the author’s voice into the foreground. 

Effective epithets are either universal and readily accepted (and therefore often neutral/factual, even if they are poetic - rosey-fingered Dawn) or they are naturally biased towards the perspective of the user. Which means characterisation of an epithet used by a person in a story to describe another person in the story goes both ways: When a story in Heero’s POV describes Duo as a ‘violet-eyed beauty’ I may think ‘Duo, purple eyes, pretty boy, yes. check!’ but I will probably also think, ‘wow, Heero’s a massive closet romantic and he has some serious pants-feels for Duo’. 

Or if that doesn’t match my view of Heero as a character, I may well think that this author has missed the point of Heero Yuy: Perfect Soldier and it’s THEM who has the serious pants-feels for Duo. If it’s the middle of a gritty battle scene, I may also think ‘Wow, is this really the time, author? Put it back in your pants’. 

Or maybe in the above example, it’s a 1x2 but this is jumping the gun. Heero isn’t aware of his own feelings yet so this kind of epithet is premature in Chapter 1. Bring it in down the line when Heero’s acknowledging to himself that Duo makes him go all weird and sweaty. 

So use epithets knowing that they will describe the target but also the user, and if those things don’t accord, can jar your reader quickly out of the headspace you were trying to achieve or shout your own voice over that of your characters. 

Distilling or Reducing?

If I take a mint plant and distill it, I will end up with a bottle of menthol oil which I could shove under your nose and declare ‘this is perfume!’ and you, eyes streaming, would have to stand there and generally agree. 

But if i take a mint plant, rip off a leaf and push it in your face and declare ‘this is perfume!’ you’re less likely to agree with me. Because in this case, I am not distilling, i am reducing. 

Epithets can work the same way. At their best, they take everything you want to convey about a character and their situation/personality and condense it into one potent phrase that socks your reader in the face. 

But all too often, they are used reductively and then you actually lose a great deal of what’s important about a character for the sake of showmanship and/or lazy writer’s short-hand. 

Let’s go back to the Odyssey. Odysseus has just washed up after being shipwrecked; he’s naked, salt encrusted, beardy and beasty and savage. Whilst stumbling around on the shore he is met by a princess, Nausicaa. Nausicaa of the long, white arms. That’s her epithet. From a modern feminist perspective, it seems a little reductive, but in the context of the story, it’s a distillation. She plays an opposite to Odysseus in this scene as he struggles to come back to civilisation after his hardships. She is washing rich clothes; he’s dressed in rags. She’s feminine and cultured and graceful; he’s acting like a wild lion. She represents civilisation and ideals with her fragility and her skin that’s been protected from the sun. He’s burnt and has forgotten how to act like a man. 

So whilst the epithet is focussed it tells me a lot of what i need to know and expect of Nausicaa in terms of her role in the story, and the fact that she will compel Odysseus to come back to himself as King of Ithaca. 

However, epithets are commonly based on appearance, status or origin, and can very easily fall into stereotype and tropes. Remember Homer’s hairy Achaeans? Was that a flattering description? Would Achaeans bang their chest and cheer proudly to be described as hairy, or would they be put out? If Achaeans are hairy, then what are Trojans? 

Let’s bring this to a modern context. If I use ‘the American pilot’ as short hand to convey that Duo is brash and loud and reckless...can I guarantee that my reader will agree with that assumption? Personally I know a lot of Americans, many of whom are not brash or loud or reckless. And if Americans in my fic are de facto brash and loud and reckless... what are Chinese people like? Humourless and ill-tempered? Or is that just Wufei? As a British person, I can find it more than tiresome to see myself represented as old-fashioned and endlessly polite; particularly when it gets obvious that the writer hasn’t the first clue about the UK or British culture. I can only imagine what it’s like for minority groups. 

If you start short-handing in this way, it’s the top of a potentially slippery slope into unintentional racial or cultural profiling. This is where epithets can start to raise eyebrows or make readers reach for the back-button. You need to ask yourself - is this lazy description or is this meaningful? Is this from a ‘generic’ POV (IE, mine as the author) or is it quantified by the POV of a character in the story who may carry those biases? Should those biases be acknowledged or explored by the story? Should those biases be carried in character speech only, then, or is it ok to put them into the prose? 

Is there a way I can characterise that without short-handing with a basic epithet? If I’m already saying that Duo flipped the table and threw his hands up in impatience, does tagging on this epithet strengthen the meaning of those actions, or are his actions defining the epithet? 

Did you know that the alternative meaning of ‘epithet’ is ‘a disparaging or abusive word or phrase’? This is loaded description. 

And finally, sometimes the epithet is just plain boring. If the epithet is a universal fact, then it is also a static snapshot of the character we’ve seen before;  and it’s often not even individual. Heero has blue eyes... but so does Quatre, and so do Relena, Zechs, Mariemaia, Treize, Sally Po, Sylvia Noventa and that guy over there. It tells me nothing about Heero as a person and even if we argue ‘but it’s a specific shade of blue!’ Well...sure. It’s still not that unique and you shouldn’t have to dig that deep into the epithet to make the trait stand out. It’s the literary version of a newspaper headline yelling ‘WOMAN WEARS CLOTHES’. 

For example, compare: 

‘The blue-eyed Vice Foreign Minister entered the meeting room’ 

Cool beans. So what? Relena’s arrived but my attention is already distracted away from her looking for something more plot-related. Especially if this is chapter 3 and her appearance has already been described to me 6 or 7 times. 

‘The false queen, Relena Peacecraft entered the meeting room’. 

J u i c y! Sounds like tea is going to be spilled. Who’s still holding this grudge against her? Is she the villain here? I’m gonna keep reading. 

TL;DR

In summary,  epithets carry a lot of personal perspective and can be powerful devices in writing. Used well, they will lift up your writing and make it memorable, vivid and engaging. Used thoughtlessly, you can stumble into a number of pitfalls, some which will make your writing harder to read or unintentionally comedic, and others that could make you look like an asshole. 

[thisweekingundamwing]

TWIGW RoundUp (July 21 - 27)

Greetings Everyone! Here’s your roundup of contributions for this week. Check out their stuff and show them some love!😊💖 🌃🌉

~Mod TB

Fanfiction:

aminamenta, Mission Accepted (Part 19)

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Multi

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Character: Heero Yuy

Additional Tags: Drabble Collection, Drabble

Summary: A Gundam Wing drabble collection based on r/fanfiction's July 2019 Daily Prompts. Missing moments and character explorations from a series I have loved for years. 100 words each. Mission Accepted. 1. Heero Yuy

ateventide, Echoes

Rating: General Audiences

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Characters: Relena Peacecraft, Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Zechs Merquise

Summary: One Shots, Drabbles and mostly unfinished works

@bailong05, All the King's Horses (Ch. 6)

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Xiaolin Showdown/Gundam Wing

Relationships: Jack Spicer/Chase Young, Chang Wufei/Original Female Character(s)

Characters: Jack Spicer, Chase Young (Xiaolin Showdown), Chang Wufei

Additional Tags: fem!Jack, mentions of physical abuse, Mentions of Emotional Abuse, Mentions of Sexual Harassment, Panic Attacks, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Mentions of War, Trauma, Psychological Trauma, Childhood Trauma, Healing, Crossover

Summary: In which Chase Royally Fucks Up.

@bobo-is-tha-bomb, Unchain Utopia [COMPLETE - 14 chapters]

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Zechs Merquise/Reader

Characters: Zechs Merquise, Relena Peacecraft

Additional Tags: Romance, Fluff, Summer of Zechs, Summer of Zechs 2019, Sexual Content, Lime, Drama, Family

Summary: When unexpected political roles are pushed upon you and your husband, you find your life turned upside down. The challenge is far greater than anything you have encountered before, but also leads to new insights. And who knows, you might even find the ultimate happiness there. ZechsxReader

Written for Summer of Zechs 2019 - @seasons-of-gundamwing

The Bodyguard

Rating: Mature

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Heero Yuy/Reader

Characters: Heero Yuy, Reader, Relena Peacecraft

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Violence, Mild Sexual Content

Summary: When death threats start to get serious, Preventer sends an Agent to protect you. But this man might be more dangerous to you than any death threat. HeeroxReader.

In the End

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Chang Wufei/Reader

Characters: Chang Wufei, Duo Maxwell, Reader, OC - Character

Additional Tags: Romance, Drama, Violence, Reader Insert

Summary: Five years after the war you still struggle with its horrors. Determined not to let it get to you, you decide to take a course in self defense. If only you knew that your instructor would drive you crazy and that he would get you angry with one look. Oh, and did I mention he is also sexy as sin? WufeixReader

What’s going on Fanfiction wise (4)

Doii, Precogmare (Ch. 6)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy

Additional Tags: Quatre Raberba Winner/Trowa Barton - Freeform, Chang Wufei/Sally Po - Freeform, Get Together, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy - Freeform, Mission Gone Wrong

Summary: A mission gone wrong shows Duo the future that awaits them. Could he stop it on time? Can he protect Relena and the other pilots while keeping his secrets hidden? Wrote it ages ago, never published it. A lot of cursing and references to violence, death, blood and suicide. It's a Heero and Duo get together, background 03x04 and 05xS

@duointherain, Beneath (Ch. 12)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/M, M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner

Summary: Duo discovers real catsup!

Experimental, Chase your dreams away

Rating: Mature

Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner

Characters: Quatre Raberba Winner, Trowa Barton, Heero Yuy, Chang Wufei, Quinze (Gundam Wing)

Additional Tags: Canon Timeline, Dark, Not Really Character Death, Everyone Is Alive, Zero System, Mindfuckery, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Romantic Friendship, I Will Go Down With This Ship

Summary: He watches them fall one by one when he closes his eyes. It doesn't matter if it's not real. It's his fault. That's real enough. "Bad dream?" Trowa asks him. The worst.

@janaverse, stickies from heero

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Pairing: 1+2+1, 1x2x1 (Heero x Duo)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Characters: Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell

Additional Tags: Get Together, Friendship, Eventual Sap, Eventual Implied Sexual Content, Mentions of Trowa/Quatre/Wufei/Relena/Sally - for now

Creator Chose Not to Archive Warnings

Summary: heero and duo are in their mid-20's and are sharing a house. they are both working as preventers, but are not on the same work schedule. duo initiated this unique form of communication and heero has fully embraced it. [ these are images of the actual notes that heero leaves for duo on their refrigerator. ]

@helmistress, The Italian Job [Ch. 2 & 3 is up - now COMPLETE]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Zechs Merquise/Lucrezia Noin

Characters: Zechs Merquise, Lucrezia Noin

Additional Tags: Summer of Zechs, Photo prompt, Prompt Fic, Zechs and Noin catchin' Cartel heads and Serial Killers in one fell swoop. And then having a nice dinner.

Summary: Zechs and Noin have a have a job to do in Siena but with all the beautiful scenery and unique places to eat, will they be able to focus?

kracken, Black Dog Blues (Ch. 9)

Not Rated

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationship: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Original Heero Yuy, Zechs Merquise, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Trowa Barton

Additional Tags: gundam wing - Freeform, Yaoi

Summary: Duo is a troubled detective who solves cases with the help of visions of the supernatural. Unfortunately, those visions are driving him slowly insane. Can his new partner Heero Yuy save his soul and his sanity? AU

Lost in the Blue (Ch. 1)

Not Rated

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Quatre Raberba Winner

Characters: Wing (Gundam Wing), Gundam Wing - Character

Additional Tags: Preventers (Gundam Wing), Duo Maxwell - Freeform, Heero Yuy - Freeform

Summary: After the war everyone is a member of Preventers. Duo proves to be a pain in the ass to work with and Heero Yuy avoids him at all cost... until the day he can't any longer.

luvsanime02, Petty Bullets

Rating: General Audiences

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Wild Wild West, Humor, Friendship, Cocktail Friday

Language: English 

Series: Part 78 of the Cocktail Friday Fics series Collections: GW Cockatil Fridays

Summary: Duo’s really not sure how to take his drink coming with an actual bullet encased in the glass.

@ransomedbard, A Good Day

Rating: Teen

Characters: Duo Maxwell

Dialogue cut from a WIP.

Implied violence, mentions of character death

Sheslikethis, The Unforgiven Soldiers

Rating: Mature

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M, M/M

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Relationships: 6x5, 1x2 - Relationship, 3x4, 6xN, 1xR, 2xH, 5+S

Characters: Chang Wufei, Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Zechs Merquise, Sally Po, Relena Peacecraft, Hilde Schbeiker, Dorothy Catalonia, Lady Une

Additional Tags: Gay, Gay Character, Male Friendship, Love, Angst, Drama, War Crimes, Crime Fighting, Eventual Relationships, Gay Sex

Summary: How many times can you ask the earth forgiveness and be denied? How long will your love ones restrain you from being loved? How far must you go to find your true calling? A story about 6 six men were war has stolen their coming of age and they have to fight their own personal battles to find manhood. While insurgence groups, terrorist and misguided people all try to find peace.

@wingslanding, Broken (Ch. 12)

Fandom: Gundam Wing 

Rating: Mature 

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings 

Relationships: Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy 

Characters: Relena Peacecraft, Heero Yuy

Summary: One of the greatest love stories never told... this way.

Fanart/Manipulations/Graphics:  

@artthingymabob, Relena Peacecraft

@deathscythehell, 2x4x2 and an airplane

@dinmitbang, Desire to monopolize

@duointherain, Duo Maxwell

@hashiome, Chang Wufei

@janaverse, Heero, Trowa and Duo

@meporinbb, Summer Wild Beat

@openbookexam, Gundam Wing 01

Cosplay:

@elpheal, Gundam Wing:: Five 

@manabingu, Zechs's helmet > Zechs Merquise

Photosets/Screenshots/GIFs:

@animarchive, Mobile Suit Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz (Newtype, 02/1997) > After War Gundam X and Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz (Newtype, 12/1996)

@animethingsandstuff, 3x4x3 (Episode 4) > Includes a discussion/debate w/ @seitou, @cynfinnegan, @gundayo and @terrablaze514.

@bobo-is-tha-bomb, Rough character sketches

@disturbed02girl, Relena Darlian (in “It’s Just Love” closing theme) > 1+R / 2+H > Wing Zero versus Epyon > WMS-03 Maganac > Nataku/Shenlong (GoL) > Treize Khushrenada (GoL) > Trowa Barton (GoL) > Heero Yuy in Epyon (GoL)

@janaverse, Duo Maxwell > Heero Yuy

@wingslanding, My Favorite Fight Scene (Endless Waltz)

Videos/AMVs: 

@myspicyuniverse, →Crash←

Studio aLf, "White Reflection" - Gundam Wing Endless Waltz (cover)

@theopmeats, 12 Favorite Moments in MSA: Gundam Wing > (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12)

@timelordnomad (featuring @offspringchick29 & @seitou) - Gundam Wing Game Night (1) (2) via Twitch.tv

Moodboards/Aesthetics:

@disturbed02girl, Gundam 40th “BEYOND” (Comic Con 2019)

@horrendousedits, Gundam Wing EW character moodboards

@jellyfishflan, Wild Wing Boys (stickers)

@p3ac3fulfor3st, All the King’s Horses (Ch. 6): Of Pride and Pain (for @bailong05)

Headcanons:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes, @softnocturne, @rinachiba - Cooking Headcanon!

@peachandbetty, Headcanon - Language (1xR)

@robo-rad, Send in your requests! > Different versions of Trowa

@theresareasonforthis, The Incredibles 2 << Mod’s note: This supports my idea of Trowa working on movies.

Memes:

@disturbed02girl, True warriors debate

@incorrectgundamwingquotes, Disaster idiots alignments > Lady Une versus Preventers > Time travel… (featuring @greenekangaroo & @chofitia)

@janaverse, Definition of glomping

Gunpla:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb, Wing 01 > "I will be true..."

@christianmswanson, Tallgeese (progress) > Tallgeese II > Tallgeese (update)

Gonzalo G. B., Gundam "The Fallen" (for a contest)

@waifus-of-hope, Kit arrives > Mission accomplished (Wing Zero) > Asking the Real Questions (video)

Meta/Promos/Fandom Discourse: 

@amyole, Gundam Wing App

@flaminfogelman, YouTube channel update

@invader-vel, The Initials: D. M.

@oneshortdamnfuse, No one versus… Me

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes, Trowa shouldn’t put Marie in bed anymore

Submission by @travellemon

Hilde and Relena

Duo versus ZERO system

Relena proposes, but…

Trowa Barton

Trowa, Heero and Wufei

Wufei and Duo

Heero versus Zechs

What's your sexuality?

Dr. J and Heero

Quatre versus ZERO system

At Preventers HQ

Relena and the “cool’ blonde dude from class (Heero taught him manners in fencing class)

Submission by @bobo-is-tha-bomb

Field Medic

2x5x2

Heero and Trowa

Trowa, Heero, Duo and Quatre

Quatre and Heero (the others are avoiding the kitchen)

Trowa and Quatre

1x2x1 (2)

Undercover at a new school

Submission by @timelordnomad

Submission by @janaverse (2)

Quatre and Noin

Duo and Quatre

Trowa, to Catherine

Stranger Things parody

3x4x3 (2)

Aboard Peacemillion

Calendar Events:

@gundam-wing-bingo, Gundam Wingo is a go!

Come sign up for a card here: https://gundam-wing-bingo.tumblr.com/post/186080202031/gundam-wing-bingo

Rules for this event here.

@gundamzine, Interest Check

Hello, everyone! As 2020 marks the 25th anniversary of Mobile Suit Gundam Wing. I thought I would post an interest check for a fanzine in celebration of that milestone. 

You can fill out the survey here, which will close on August 1.

( @fandomzines @zine-scene @zinefeed @zinewatch @zinesubmissions)

@gwcocktailfriday, Cocktail Friday

Post responses on Friday, August 2, between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Don’t forget to @ us!

@thisweekingundamevents, Gundam Wing Unorthodox Undercover Work Mini Bang

Calling all writers, artists, betas/editors and pinch hitters! Sign-ups are officially open for July! More detailed info here.

Sign up for the Mini Bang: https://forms.gle/XMAxNWiYj1EEaRtW8

GW Mini Bang = August 1 to November 30.

Deadline/Posting week =  December 1 - 7 (on AO3).

Get in contact with @helmistress if you have any questions. Everyone who signs up will be contacted.

Heads up Mini Bangers! (Update)

[ecampbellsoup]

Outlander Moments of Impact: So Long As I’m With You

(If you missed part 1 of this scene, here it is )

What makes someone fall in love with another? Is it the crinkles around their eyes when they smile? Is it the way they toss their head back as they laugh? Is the set of their shoulders as they walk? Is it the tone of their voice when they say your name?

No one can articulate the exact components that encompass love. It is too reductionistic to even try.

However, regardless of the mystery surrounding attraction, there is a point where you find yourself experiencing an irrevocable warmth towards another.

You look upon them and suddenly like a bolt of lighting: you are love-struck.

Jamie Fraser’s lighting bolt moment takes place in 1x2 “Castle Leoch”. He is bewitched beyond measure, never to be the same again.

Let’s break down this scene for some context, shall we?

After sharing himself fully with her, scars and all, Jamie and Claire enjoy a moment of silence in front of the fire at Castle Leoch. However, after moving his arm too quickly, Jamie winces, groaning in pain. Despite his practiced cool demeanour, he is suffering. 

Claire cautioning, “Don’t do that. I’m going to strap that arm to your side.” Breaking away from him, she leans down to grab the cloth to finish bandaging Jamie with.

Jamie’s face communicates so much in this moment. Such frustration by his own injury, limitation, yet also, so thankful for this woman’s help.

Ordering him yet again, “Hold still.” Taking the fabric, Claire wraps it around his body. 

As naturally as drawing breath, Jamie blesses Claire with words of affirmation, “You’re a kind woman, with a good touch.”

Choosing not address this, Claire just glances at him while continuing her work.

Almost as if she’s putting him in his place, she ties the bandage and jerks it tight causing Jamie to chuckle and smirk in acknowledgment. Yet he continues to admire her anyway. With a sly smile, he adds, “Your husband is a lucky man.” What is so lovely about this is that Jamie is acknowledging his attraction, yet also respecting the fact that she is married. He is honoring her in this moment.

However, the second the word “husband” is spoken, Claire crashes into reality. Full of fear, confusion, and doubt, she panics. Backing away from Jamie, she sits staring blankly into the fire remembering Frank. 

Immediately, Jamie notices a shift in her disposition. Attuned to the slightest change, he knows that something is causing Claire pain. 

Gently he asks, “Mistress? Mistress Beauchamp, what’s wrong?” Barely holding it together, Claire explains, “I’m fine. I was just thinking about my husband.”

Jamie, full of loving-kindness, responds, “Oh...Lass” Inquiring further, “Is he not alive?” Jamie is so sensitive; even the way he asks the question is gracious. Instead of phrasing it by “death”, he frames the question in terms of life. 

In response, Claire answers, “No, actually. He’s not alive.” 

And then she completely falls apart, sobbing. (This is purely my interpretation, but I believe this moment of brokenness is not simply about Frank. I assert that Claire is just beginning to realize that she is lost in time and she is paralyzed by the notion that she many never find her way back. Her grief is for the fear of the unknown)

Without a second of hesitation, he rushes to Claire’s side.

Kneeling down with her, Jamie puts his arm around her and pulls her into his lap. 

Softly whispering gaelic into her ear, he brushes back her hair. And for a few brief moments, Claire clings on. She melts into Jamie and he holds her against his chest. 

As Jamie feels this woman go to pieces, his face shows equal anguish. A muscle jerks in his jaw and his eyes fill with compassionate empathy. He is sharing in her grief.

Claire calms in the sheltering arms of this unknown man. 

Perfectly in sync, they both draw back. And then, their eyes lock on one another. Holding their breath, seconds pass that might as well have been hours. There is an unspoken electric current between. The sexual tension tingles in the air, sharper than a knife. 

Suddenly, Claire feels Jamie’s desire for her through his kilt. Terrified, she immediately jumps up.

She moves away from him to put distance between them. Despite being drawn to this highlander, she has no idea what he’s capable of...Standing far away from him, she says, “I am sorry; I didn’t mean to...”

Following suit, Jamie directly stands up. He senses her fear. 

Waiting for a moment to collect himself, there is a sense of shock from Jamie that this just happened; perhaps even a slight embarrassment that he put her in that position.

Still quiet, nervously, Claire looks at Jamie, watching him.

Fully aware of the emotions she’s experiencing, Jamie then reciprocates, looking at her dead on. Without wavering and full of conviction he says, “You need not be scared of me.” Even in his hunger for her, he explicitly states she has nothing to fear; he would never use his power against her. 

He extends this promise further, “Nor anyone else here so long as I am with you.” Claire, moved by his generosity, allows her guard back down. 

But then she inquires, “And when you’re not with me?” To this question, Jamie’s face subtly, but noticeably darkens. In his eyes creep an awareness of the reality of who Claire is and where she is: and that alarms him for her. He cautions, “Just never forget that you are English in a place where that’s not a pretty thing to be.” The irony in this statement is piercing. Although others find Claire to be “ugly” due to her origins, Jamie finds her beautiful.

Stepping towards Claire, he lightly takes her hand in his own, charging her, “Watch yourself.” Taking him at his word: “Thank you, I will.”

Not wanting to leaver her, or release her hand, Jamie knows he must do both. Excusing himself, “Now you sleep a bit. You’re worn out.”

Collecting his things, Jamie makes his exit.

And Claire stares after him as ha walks away.

Jamie looks upon this outlander and he sees her for who she truly is.

As everyone around her assumes wickedness, Jamie calls her “a kind woman.” As everyone around her questions her ability to actually heal, he states she has “a good touch.”

Jamie does not choose to affirm Claire’s physical beauty despite his longing for her.

He affirms her CHARACTER. All around her fly slanderous accusations, yet Jamie highlights her kindness. He also praises her healing abilities; something Frank internally resented and everyone else is highly suspect of.

But without even knowing her full name, Jamie knows Claire. He is drawn to this woman for her heart, her soul, her goodness, & her healing nature.

As he watches this precious, dear woman break over the loss of someone, his beckons her into the safety of his affection and holds her there.

Sitting in agony from his injury, he puts his pain aside and leans down to tend to her.

He cares about her suffering even more than his own.

Her expressed emotion did not startle him, confuse him, repulse him… it wooed him.

He fell in love with this woman as she wept in his arms.

It was her humanity that sealed his fate. Her grief, her feelings, her love: all culminated into a gift of stunning brilliance that James Fraser simply could not resist.

In an exchange of hearts, Jamie realizes his love for Claire Beauchamp. Shocked by the electricity of attraction, his fate is sealed and never to be broken.

Despite this revelation, he does not use it against her in that moment. He does not put his feelings before her. He does not let his desire of her supersede her. And so he yields when she pulls away.

From the minute she arrived, she was threatened with abused power from a man. And thus every other man is seen as a threat of rape, harm, and manipulation to Claire.

Jamie sees this trepidation in her eyes. And so with his simple words, he shatters her fear:

“You need not be scared of me, nor anyone else here. So long as I’m with you.”

With this covenant, he says: though others seek to abuse you, harm you, use you, hurt you, abandon you, I will never do the same. You are protected and you are SAFE with me.

His perfect love casts out all her fear.

Although Claire thinks these words are momentary as she is not planning to say, Jamie means them for eternity. His love for her is everlasting.

[kiss-my-freckle]

Dialogues

1x2 -

Red: Watch yourself with her, Donald. She hates men, and cops most of all.

1x3 -

Red: I prefer to play with myself in private.

Liz: He’s a myth. Red: That’s what they said about Deep Throat … and the G-Spot.

1x5 -

Red: She owns that nightclub. Last time I was there, we had a great deal of fun, until she tried to strangle me with her stocking.

Red: Or just bend over any available piece of furniture and let her slap you on the ass. She loves that.

Red: He knows you better than I do, and I know where that lovely little freckle is.

1x6 -

Red: Because Yuri talks faster than a cheerleader after a nooner under the grandstands. Probably not a metaphor you understand.

1x8 -

Red: Oh, my God. I’ve never been more scared of a woman in my life. She was thrilling in bed. What a pair of legs. I think she played field hockey in college.  

1x14 -

Red: I had a little talk with Rasil. We had a few laughs, compared notes about you. He told me all about that delightful thing you do with a trouser belt, which was a bit hurtful, since I was pretty sure it was our thing.

1x18 -

Vlad: You slept with my wife. Red: How is Fadila? Vlad, it was a mistake. I can easily blame it on the hashish and the grappa, but the truth is - may I speak freely? You’re better off without her. She’s fickle.

1x19 -

Red: Calculus. I can’t even think about derivatives without thinking of that tutor in manor hall. Cindy something-or-other. Never wore a brassiere. Always a bounce in her step.

1x20 -

Red: Ah. Smells like decadence and vice.

2x1 -

Red: They know your habits, the banks you use, the pills you pop, the men or women you sleep with.

Red: Lord Baltimore. Aren’t you a surprisingly saucy minx.

Samar: Aren’t we confident today? Red: I’m confident every day. Samar: And I thought we had nothing in common.

2x7 -

Red: Keep your plum covered. We’re not alone.

2x10 -

Red: Luther, I never thought I’d enjoy having anything in my mouth as much as Petty Officer Virginia Sherman, but this - My God! It tastes so good! I hesitate to swallow, and I certainly don’t want to spit it out.

2x2 -

Red: Mmm! Tastes just like Patty Sutton.

2x3 -

Red: Titillating. But what Laskin and Russo do with or to one another in their spare time is none of my concern. Red: A threesome? Interesting. Based on his sartorial splendor, I gather this is Mr. Vargas. Does that even look like real hair?

Red: You poor thing. Honestly, I don’t know how you do it. It boggles the imagination. B.B., you don’t look well. Are you alright? Let me guess: irregular heartbeat, shortness of breath, perhaps a little tingling in your nether regions? Those drinks you’ve been enjoying on the house? They weren’t from the house. They were from me. I hope you don’t mind. I took the liberty of adding a special surprise ingredient, something to treat any localized dysfunction you may be suffering. Has the little man been falling down on the job? It’s a miracle drug, not so much for a glutton with a bum heart, however. But look on the bright side, you’ll die with a marvelous erection.

2x11 -

Red: The other one, the watercolorist, she - legs like a shot-putter. She gets me in this headlock. I black out. Next thing I know, I wake up - no sheets, vaseline everywhere. The lipstick on the mirror overhead reads, “Same time next year?” I haven’t missed an art expo in Basel since.

Red: Ah. A Russian milonga. Watch closely, Lizzy. Everything you need to know about negotiation is there in the tango milonga. At the outset, they are opponents. Each has something the other wants. They size one another up, assessing risk, setting boundaries, challenging each other to breach them. A sensuous battle - violence and sex balanced on the blade of a knife. Nothing given that is not earned - nothing taken that is not given. This is the pure essence of negotiation. Not a poker game, but a milonga. A tango. A seduction.

Red: And I assure you my bed accommodates a broad spectrum of behavior.

2x12 -

Red: Samar, my dear, bump in the road I can help smooth over, or have the clouds finally parted and this is a social call?

2x14 -

Red: Careful there, boys. You don’t want to bruise the merchandise.

Red: Really, I’m all for being thorough, but at this point, you’re just taking the nickel tour.

Red: Oh, the Dinky. No matter the time of day, that damn train is always full of hungover frat boys and co-eds in the throes of morning-after regret.

Red: Good heavens, Earl. You’ve never had any feeling in your heart, but now it looks like there isn’t much going on below the waist. Earl: I do all right. The wheelchair is just a little memento of our time together in Bolivia. Red: No hard feelings, I trust.

2x18 -

Red: Because, Mr. Jasper, you strike me as a man who would prefer to pitch rather than catch.

2x20 -

Red: Don’t look so glum, Kenneth. You just spent 10 minutes being ridden hard by Agent Navabi. I’d die for five.

2x21 -

Red: She makes her real money consulting. Costs a fortune. She did, however, let me name a lipstick color - “Fire In The Hole.”

Kimberly: I can only tell you what they’re doing. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you who they’re doing it to.

3x7 -

Hasaan: What do you want? Red: Well, another spin of the bottle in Melanie Reichman’s basement, but, I’ll settle for you.

3x8 -

Red: When’s the last time you got any of that, Pablo? Or have you? Pablo: We share everything.

Red: No wonder Cash doesn���t trust you with anything more important than babysitting. Pablo: That’s big talk coming from a guy who’s -

3x9 -

Red: I prefer that slight curve at the small of the back, the swell of a breast, the soft nape of the neck to quicken my heartbeat.

3x21 -

Cynthia: I read his e-mails. Ever since I found him with the nanny, I look at everything. Samuel: We don’t even have a nanny! It was a movie. Red: A nanny movie? Cynthia: Not just nannies. Schoolteachers, nurses, and a ridiculous threesome with two completely unbelievable policewomen. Samuel: Cynthia, they’re just movies. I have never cheated on you. And besides, I don’t think he wants to hear about it. Red: Yes, I want to hear about it. All about it. Unfortunately, I do need to hear about your contract with Halcyon. So business first, and then, Cynthia, I’ll be all ears.

Red: I had an enlightening meeting with Samuel Rand today. More to the point, with his wife, Cynthia.

Scottie: Howard didn’t take that job. We haven’t had sex in four years. We’re rarely in the same country, let alone the same bed. Red: What bed have you been occupying? Scottie: I’ve been assuming a larger role in a management position lately. Red: You don’t say.

Red: You have it all wrong, dear. I didn’t come to kill you. I came here because you and I are about to climb into bed together, just for a quickie.

3x23 -

Red: Aram… set him up with someone, for God’s sake. He’s like a kid with his first erection on the school bus.

4x7 -

Red: My sympathies to your significant other. And if your flag is flying at half mast, rest assured, I find in the privacy of one’s boudoir, pleasing others is the key to pleasing oneself.

4x14 -

Red: Oh, my goodness. This is tedious. I’d give almost anything to have a scratch. But seeing as how, given your profession, David, you might be more inclined to squeeze them rather than scratch them, I won’t impose. I’ll just wait for the next break.

David: Forget having your testicles scratched. You’ve been castrated.

4x20 -

Red: Baldur, you and I are deal-makers. We buy low and sell high. Getting that cruise line on the cheap was better than sex with your mistress. Either of them. I’m a little down on my luck. A penny stock. Invest in me now and when I rise, you’ll be able to afford three mistresses.

4x22 -

Red: I do wonder what else Donald’s men will find in your nightstand. Are you a vibrator kind of gal, Laurel? We’ll see.

5x1 -

Car guy: How’d she do? Red: Like Bergita Olofson in her parents’ rumpus room on a Saturday night.

5x2 -

Cooper: No, he’s playing grab-ass by the pool between naps and happy hour.

5x10 -

Isaacson: Bite me. Red: Hmm. A woman after my own heart.

5x12 -

Red: Joro spiders. In Japanese folklore, the joro is said to be able to change its appearance to that of a beautiful woman who seduces men, binding them in her web before devouring them. Hence its name “joro-gumo,” or “whore spider.”

5x13 -

Red: Imagine the confidence a man has to have in his own genitals to take on a nickname like “Big Willie.”

5x15 -

Red: Yes. Very impressive. What a gymnasium - a real shrine to athleticism. I can just feel the testosterone.

Fagen: You promised me a sure thing, gives me Viagra, and all I have to show for it is a four-hour erection.

[deleted scene]

Smokey: You’re a sucker, Red.  Everyone thinks you’re soooo tough with the hat and the shades and the people you kill but I know better.  Circus folk know a sucker when we see one.  You’re a sucker.  You’re a sucker for the pets, you’re a sucker for Heddie. And God knows why, you’re even a sucker for me. Red: I suppose I am.   Smokey: Well, that’s good for me. I’ll follow you anywhere. Red: Well, let's start in the back. I believe we have some cash to count.

5x19 -

Red: This apartment. Right here. Oh. My God. To have been the proverbial fly on Clyde Tolson’s duvet. Liz: Clyde Tolson lived here? J. Edgar Hoover’s lover? Red: This was their secret hideaway. Imagine the conversations. Cooing over JFK’s lovers. Slandering Dr. King. What peignoir to wear to bed. When I saw the apartment was for sale, I couldn’t resist. Liz: You own the apartment where the homophobic head of the FBI carried on his affair with his boyfriend? Red: Allegedly. I wouldn’t admit this in mixed company, but J. Edgar and I have a surprising amount in common. For instance, we both always get our man.

5x21 -

Red: I’ve heard steroids make your penis shrink. Have you found that to be the case?

Liz: Gonzalez called you. Red: His guard, actually. We developed something of a bond.

6x2 -

Red: Through five marriages, numerous lovers, allegedly both male and female.

Red: Cary Grant once said after a particularly evocative LSD trip, “I imagined myself as a giant penis launching off from Earth - “like a spaceship.”

6x4 -

Red: Baldomero, what do you say we call this whole thing off? What happened in Iztapalapa was a terrible mistake. I regret it dearly, and I had no idea she was your mother. Baldomero: You were in my bed. There was a picture of me on the nightstand. Red: Okay, in our defense, it was incredibly dark, and we’d been drinking heavily. Honestly, I regret the entire weekend. Of course, don’t tell your mother that.