#a lot of these are based on game experience

[stillarobyn]

I understand the intention behind this post and I don't disagree with it. I don't.

If you're writing a period piece or something with a certain dark tone, then yes, you absolutely want to keep to that, give your gruff sailor a mumbled line about not being like most other men, or your scattered workaholic scientist can say she never felt like she was missing out on anything by not having a partner while they save the world.

But do not limit the reach of fanfiction by expecting it to be held to the same standards.

Because we need both. Because the target audience for a lot of works that employ this are young, they're disconnected from community, and they're lost. They think they're broken or they don't fit or they are made wrong.

I, a millennial, didn't know about bisexuality until I read about it in fanfic somewhere around 2003 (I was 13). I didn't know any out gay or queer people growing up. It was still scandalous on tv, and my parents didn't have any problem with it, they just didn't talk about it. I can't imagine how isolating it would have felt if my parents prevented me from watching anything with gay characters or spoke negatively about them.

My first discovery of nonbinary identity was in a bandom fic I read in 2010 (I was 20, for those playing the home game). It was maybe two years after that that I began to talk with nonbinary/genderqueer/genderfluid people online. I knew a couple of binary trans people in college, and one in high school, but this was my first time meeting people who weren't a binary gender. In 2012! It took another two years for me, at this point a full-ass adult, to start describing myself that way.

All of this oversharing to say...my understanding of queer identity was not hand-held by anyone in my life, but boy I learned to accept these foreign ideas I saw in myself because I had a safe fictional environment to explore these concepts and terms.

I think it was 2014-2016 when fanfic spaces had a boom of "everyone is trans" AUs and headcanons, and they were often rose-tinted and a bit twee, but that's the point of them. I saw identities I had to look up, and when I asked in follow-up "okay, but what does a person who feels like that look/act like?" it was all crickets, except in fiction, and specifically fanfic.

"But the world is different now, not knowing is no excuse" NOPE. not with anti-lgbtqia legislation passing in the US, or in other hostile countries around the world (I'm from the US, my argument is US-centric based on my experience and knowledge, but by no means exclusionary of people in other countries), or even family situations or rural upbringing or any other circumstance that isolated young queer folk from other queer folk.

A popular live-service video game introduced a nonbinary character and I saw twitch chats full of people who were just confused and uneducated. Ignoring those who were hostile was easy, but the uninformed, especially the non-English-speakers and people who didn't come from Western cultures, were largely open to learning something they never had framework for. Made all the more frustrating in a game environment where the characters didn't make a habit of having these discussions on screen, but that's a different rant.

I don't know if OP intended this in reference to original media, or toward fic, but I saw a lot of established characters in the reblogs so I just want to address that. I'm a characterization first fic reader, so I get it. "Everyone is trans" fics aren't for me, but there's a space needed for them if someone needs to see Captain Kirk and Spock debating the application of terminology of human gender and sexuality in interplanetary cultural settings...now actually I kind of want that fic so I played myself.

Dragon Age Veilguard came under attack for daring to openly and forwardly use the term "nonbinary" in its fantasy world, as though something about the word is inherently incompatible with the fantasy genre? But the game was pretty clear in its goal to create a safe gaming space for marginalized folks when so often their experiences are erased, ignored, tokenized, or stereotyped. The narrative, therefore, had to be hostile to the unaccepting, educational for the ignorant, and validating to the vulnerable. Getting to play in a world where people are referred to as nonbinary (just like me) and where people use they/them pronouns (just like me) and where no one ridicules or attacks them specifically for this? It felt comfortable and safe and the world was ending in the game, but I felt a personal empowerment in my immersion.

More complex and nuanced discussions by characters about their queer identity add to the picture. It shouldn't be in every work because every author has their own angle and their own philosophy about it, but they have just as much a right to a seat at the table. You can have your fics where Tony Stark's sexuality is a smirk and a wink, and you can have your fics where he explains that he used to call himself bisexual but the world is bigger and weirder so he considers himself omnisexual now. And if you don't like that, scroll past it. The author didn't write it for you, but someone else needs to hear that.

Maybe this is just a personal vent that escaped containment, but I feel the need to remind some folks that some people need the LGBT center brochure version because they didn't get one in the mail. It's a tough time for everyone in this community, no need to make it tougher.

he would not fucking say that but it’s he would not fucking talk about his queer identity like he was reading out of a college campus lgbt center brochure

[femboyclownpierce]

the "how do you define rpf in the mcyt space?" question is SO interesting to me coming from a bandom background, because i feel like a lot more people in the mcyt fandom have more experience with more "traditional" forms of story-telling: shows, movies, video games, art where there is VERY CLEARLY a line drawn between character, actor, and writer. those lines very rarely, if ever, exist in mcyt content. oftentimes a creator will fill all three roles, and sometimes they arent even aware theyre acting or aren't always acting.

so, let me ask this question: is writing fabulous killjoys, "fab 4," fanfic, rpf? party poison, fun ghoul, jet star, and kobra kid are all played by the members of my chemical romance, and are based on them as people, but at the same time there is a line of separation between them and mcr; they are characters the members the played. is it rpf? mcr fanfic based on any other era of the band undeniably is, but because they're playing characters in danger days, the line blurs.

it doesnt really matter where you draw the line because the answer to "is this rpf? is yes and no at the same time. they are putting on a persona while they stream/record, and then sometimes that persona is playing a character on an smp. is the creator intentionally playing a character, or are they just messing around? does it matter?

if you want my opinion, i think it becomes rpf without a doubt when you leave minecraft. "real person" is 2/3rds of the acronym, after all, and the minecraft world is very much not real. are you writing about bdubs and etho having a tense moment across the fence in their last life base, or are you writing about john booko standing in the canadian wilderness after etho s lab sent him a set of numbers he thought were coordinates? i also think that rpf is morally neutral, and that as soon as you stop caring about if you're writing rpf or not and focus more on if you're having fun, then the whole debate goes out the window.

[hopeful-dawn]

I find it very interesting how incredibly sheltered Shadow is in the movie, not just compared to other versions of his character, but also to the other characters in the SCU. He doesn't talk a lot, so it's not overly obvious, but his flashback scenes were riddled with subtext. He's clearly an amnesiac when he first falls to earth, so he has literally no idea about... most things, and the military certainly wouldn't have seen fit to teach him about them.

Given the way they kept him locked up in a fluid-filled tube - despite him being awake, alert, seemingly uninjured, and still in his clothes -, and his own admission that they all seemed scared of him and thought he was dangerous, Shadow doesn't seem to have been treated like an actual person, much less a child. And given his reaction to Maria when she first interacted with him (i.e. confused and suspicious even after she was very playful and friendly towards him), she likely was the first person to show him actual kindness, too.

Which makes sense! In the games he was created for the express purpose of being able to cure Maria. She was there for him and cared for him from the start, and undoubtedly made sure he was being treated at least moderately well. And she would have had the leverage to do so, because they were on a civilian space colony where her grandfather, who loved her dearly, was the one spearheading the project. In the movies however, Shadow was an extremely powerful extraterrestrial of unspecified origin, with an unknown purpose for coming to Earth. During the Cold War. He was not a beloved creation; he was a potential threat who was being experimented on by the military.

There's no way that before Maria he'd have been given lessons in Earth cultural practices, or allowed to do things like watch movies or listen to music or even just roam freely throughout the base. They didn't trust him enough to. But without any memories of his own he'd have been easy enough to mold to their liking, so they did teach him how to fight, how to shoot a gun, how to ride a motorcycle, and how to harness his power, because they undoubtedly wanted to use him as a secret weapon against the Soviets and as a power source (why else would they keep him in a military base and store a bunch of containers filled with his highly explosive chaos energy? How else would he have learned how to ride a human motorcycle with such skill?). Weapons aren't people though, and potential threats don't get kindness, lest people get attached to them, and neither are taught anything they don't absolutely need to know to perform their functions.

So yeah. Poor kid was kept emotionally isolated and ignorant, until Maria came in and demanded better for him. Too bad that made her a liability to them, one they felt they had to get rid of after they decided that Shadow needed to be shelved until such a time that they could actually control him. Remember, they were aiming to shoot her, specifically. If they wanted to shoot Gerald or Shadow, they'd have done it at any point afterward. So even though it was an explosion that ultimately killed her, she was slated to die regardless. Gerald and Shadow were considered valuable; she was just a loose end who convinced Shadow he was a person and turned his loyalties from them to herself.

(Those kids never stood a chance. Even if they had escaped, they'd have been hunted down by the military, and she'd have been killed then instead while he was taken into custody. Their fates were sealed the second they stepped foot into that base. Shadow never would have been allowed to have a decent childhood, and Maria never could have treated Shadow as anything other than a fellow child and friend.)

And when he was brought out of stasis he had no time or inclination to fix any of that ignorance (because he was convinced he would die, along with the rest of the world). All of which puts him in a very disadvantageous spot by the end of the movie, because he's going to be so lost once he wakes back up on earth.

Does he know how to read in any language or how to do basic arithmetic? Does he know any geography or how to read a map? Does he know any first aid or wilderness survival skills? Since he wasn't created in a lab, does he need to eat and drink, and if so does he know what's safe for him to consume? These are all things he might need to know if he's going to try and survive on his own, and unfortunately he also almost certainly doesn't know how to use a computer or a telephone, which would be his main two ways of getting that kind of information if he can't outright ask anyone.

To take it even further, because of his amnesia, does Shadow even know that he's supposed to be a hedgehog?? Does he know what the chaos emeralds are, or that they're emeralds at all, or why he went god mode upon touching them? Does he know that Sonic survived after he passed out and fell to earth? And also, did literally anyone ever tell him Sonic's name??

[th3cadav3r]

Hello! I think a nice sfw fluff scenario for the Tulpar crew would be headcanons of how each character would react when the reader hesitantly tells them they don’t like sex or are asexual. Reader can be gn. Thank you, I really like your headcanon writings!

SFW Mouthwashing Headcanons—Asexual Reader

content: fluff, kissing, cuddling, mentions of sex, very very very slight acephobia from Jimmy(but with a happy ending)

author’s note: Keep in mind that I am not asexual therefore I cannot understand or fully grasp the asexual experience. I just tried my best based on what I’ve seen and heard online. Hope you enjoy!

Daisuke

You and him had been dating for about three weeks

You always held hands and made out a lot, but nothing more than that

His libido is pretty high because of his age, so naturally he wanted more

You were making out on the couch when suddenly you felt his hands start to wander

It was fine at first until his hand started reaching a little too low for comfort

“Wait—”you blurt out

He stops immediately, retracting his hand

“Sorry, did I do something wrong?” His voice is full of genuine concern

“No, it’s not your fault. I just uh…don’t want that”

He was a little confused. “We can move to my bed if you want” He suggests, thinking that you just wanted more privacy than the living room provided

“No, I…I mean I don’t want to have sex. It’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t like it”

He didn’t expect that but he understood. He smiled reassuringly

“That’s alright. I get it”

You breathed a sigh of relief and your body relaxed. You felt like you truly didn’t deserve such a sweet boyfriend

“Here—we can just cuddle instead” He offers with his arms open. You gladly accept

You spent the rest of the afternoon napping together and playing video games when you woke up

This was definitely different for him compared to his previous relationships, but he didn’t care. He loves you for you

Anya

You started dating towards the end of the trip

She’s more of a words of affection girl than a physical touch girl, which is perfect for you

At one point when things started to get a bit steamy, you finally told her

“Before this gets too far…you should know something about me”

You tell her how you feel no desire for sex but that you still love her the same. Of course she’s understanding once you explain it to her

“I appreciate that you told me”

You both have a long discussion about what is and isn’t okay in regards to your and her comfort. And you both come out of the conversation with a much better and deeper understanding of each other

Now whenever you and her get touchy, she knows exactly what to do to make you feel good without crossing the line

Curly

There was no doubt about it: You were the captain’s favourite

You spent a lot of time alone with him in the cockpit just chatting about the most random things

He definitely grew a liking to you and you to him. One day he asked you what exactly he was to you

You confessed your feelings to him and he does the same. While the moment feels amazing, you can’t help but feel worried about his reaction to your sexuality

“Hey, I should let you know–” You decide to just tell him now. “–I don’t really want this to be a sexual thing, okay?”

He’s a bit taken aback, you can clearly see that in his face. But he is by no means offended or upset

“No worries, then,” he reassures. “Thanks for telling me”

For the next few days, he was very overly cautious. He asked if you were comfortable before he gave you any kind of physical affection. It was a bit exhausting at first, but you appreciated that he cared so much

Swansea

Let’s be real: This man is old

His sex drive is almost all long gone

And he let you know this when you told him about your lack of sexual desire

“Yeah, so what?” he says gruffly and bluntly. “I’m fifty-fuckin’-six years old, sweetheart. Just thinking about sex makes my back hurt”

You were totally expecting that response. It still made you smile from ear to ear though

He wasn’t really a lovey-dovey type of guy when the others were around, but when you two were alone in his bedroom he was a lot more affectionate. Cuddles, kisses, caresses…everything he did was so gentle and comfortable

Jimmy

You’re definitely a lot closer to him than anyone else on board, even Curly

Neither of you really knew where you stood in terms of a relationship, but your “hangouts” included a lot of making out and touching

This was fine initially, but at a certain point it became too much for you

“Hold on—”You grab his wandering hand and move it off of your body

“What?” He was genuinely surprised that you stopped him

“This is going a bit too far for me”Your body tenses up, anticipating a very awkward and uncomfortable conversation

“What do you mean?” He sounded a little hurt and a bit annoyed

“I don’t…have a drive like that. I don’t want to do sexual stuff”You laid it all out for him

He was quiet for a bit. You couldn’t exactly read his face so you were starting to get a little nervous

“It’s not because of me, right?”

“No, of course not,” you reassure. “That’s just how I am”

He sighs. Whether it was out of relief or frustration you couldn’t tell

“Alright”

The atmosphere between you and him was a little awkward for the next few days. You couldn’t help but worry

“Sorry if I was being distant,” he finally told you one afternoon. “Just thinking things through”

“That’s alright” You were lying; you were a little upset that he basically ghosted you after you were so vulnerable with him, but you were willing to just let it go, at least for now

“I know you have your…thing. But I still like you”

Well that was a surprise. But a good one. Definitely a good one. You told him that you liked him back

He was a bit disappointed that he couldn’t do everything he hoped to do with you, but he still liked you a lot. Besides, he could always just “take care” of himself in private

[explosivesnark]

A few Quentin/ Norman Darby sketches I still have no idea how this website works A bit random, but I'm currently working on a project that attempts to make HN2 more story based, if that makes sense. Something me and a lot of other HN fans agree on is that HN2 didn't reach its full potential in terms of story. I played Sally Face recently and had a thought- "What if Hello Neighbor 2 was a 2D point and click story game?" I've already made a ton of concepts and written ideas for the story as well as mechanics. I'm hoping to make the game on Unity, since that seems to be the go- to engine for games like these. I have zero experience with game development and haven't even downloaded Unity yet, but I really wanna start soon. I've half- finished a walking animation for Quentin but still need to make an Idle animation. No stress or deadlines on this project whatsoever, it's just a fun idea I had, but I really am hoping to actually develop it eventually. I might share concept art sometime. Random tangent over GOODBYE

[callabang]

jet lag: the game: the rpf primer

so you've just encountered jet lag: the game. maybe this is because you read an insane poly bdsm fic that i wrote and now you want to know about who those guys are. maybe you're ABOUT to read an insane poly bdsm fic that i wrote. maybe you're normal. etc.

what is jet lag the game?

jet lag the game is a travel game show where they use various forms of transit and real-life locations as game mechanics. also curses/challenges/etc. it's not important. essentially they have taken all the parts of travel that are bad and chosen to JUST do those. a lot of times this involves hunting each other for sport. one part travel show one part game show one part chaos. if you want to watch this show, which i recommend, may i suggest:

starting with the new zealand season which rocks my socks and has in my opinion the best guest (toby!!!!!!!!!! a woman), or

viewing the most recent hide and seek season set in japan which is very cute and fun

i am happy to answer more questions about jet lag the game the show / nebula / the layover podcast etc. BUT THIS ISN'T REALLY ABOUT THAT and also i started watching it like two weeks ago so honestly ask maria @killjoys-makesomenoise

let's get weird.

the main boys involved in this show are SAM DENBY, ADAM CHASE, AND BEN DOYLE. they created this show together and are always contestants in each season, sometimes with a guest. there is something sooooo wrong with them for doing this game show

to be clear me and the co-author of this primer maria @killjoys-makesomenoise do not actually know that much about these people and make no claims to biographical accuracy or even a basic understanding of their careers and interests outside of this show. this primer is a collection of curated vibes in support of our fanfiction and nothing else

sam denby

born and raised on youtube. he likes logistics. like in a really serious way he likes logistics. he has a spreadsheet brain full of transit schedules and LOVES! planes and trains and automobiles. he used to have the world's most potent baby face but then he moved to colorado and got into THE OUTDOORS and skiis and runs ultramarathons and so now he's like 6 foot 2 and sleek and muscled etc.

he is extremely blond with long hair that could look good if he did a curly girl routine which he never will. he has like three outfits which are mostly athletic clothes and tshirts and he does pattern mixing but NOT on purpose. he loves to wear a hat and sunglasses and make no expressions and be IN his phone.

he is everyone's boss at jet lag and extremely rigidly ethical and his personal life is a locked box inside a deep dungeon. he's very competitive and strategic and competent but also has really bad luck. he has terrible hand eye coordinate. he's my favorite personally and i want to study him like a bug.

here's a reddit comment that captures some of what he's got going:

Sure, it's logically possible that someone out there could have a generally-less-expressive-than-average voice/face, be obsessed with airline scheduling and high-end car statistics (and jump on any opportunity to list them), react to experiences like fairground rides and bungee jumping in a way that regularly makes people around him go "you're a psychopath", find riddles that require non-literal thinking so hard he thinks they're "not good riddles", seemingly regularly and genuinely forget that other people don't have his specific kind of spreadsheet brain, and thrive on metrics/grind-based sports while lacking overall hand-eye coordination, without being on the autism spectum... but realistically, autism is the easiest way to explain a lot of these things co-occurring, isn't it?

adam chase

he's been a writer for sam's other youtube channels for years and was brought in front of the camera bc sam needed someone to play his insane little games with. he's a sweetie with a squeaky little voice and also he's extremely competitive and i truly believe his resting heart is 120 bpm. he's AGITATED and overprepared. he cares so deeply about every single second of the game whether he's winning or not and also about the game design/planning/production. he has been described as a caretaker and someone who would "be a good dad." he's also not a sore loser at all and is very compassionate! sweetheart.

surprisingly hard to find a good evocative solo pic of adam. here he is with sam in a typical sam outfit and in matching tie-dye with ben. he's so skinny and fast and importantly he's a fucking nerd. also he constantly vocally stims by bursting into song.

benjamin doyle

formerly an intern for sam's other youtube channels, ben was comedy writer friends with adam which is how he got involved in this mess. babygirl and he knows it. online in a tumblr way somehow and also has apparently perused fanfiction of himself and his coworkers. lock ya fics !!!!!!!

he's an indoor cat in a major way and suffers so much physically from competing in what is objectively a very physical show and yet he also is one of the game designers so that's his fault. he's the only one with a sense of style and he dresses like a cartoon character. he's surprisingly droll and lackadaisical and adam and sam thinks he's soooo funny. he loves a gambit and a scheme and enjoys a plan that is 50% vibes. he's little and short and has the biggest most limpid blue eyes of the three of them who all have blue eyes so that's saying something.

here's a redacted-for-spoilers youtube comment about his relationship with adam who he's usually paired up with for team challenges:

The trust that Ben has in Adam!! When he agreed to let Adam make that last wager I thought I was gonna be sick. It must take a lot of self-regulation skill to just stay chill and supportive and crack jokes while witnessing your teammate like, harness the power of childhood [redacted] trauma and in order to dissociate into a [redacted]. Adam is obviously a powerhouse but Ben is an unsung hero, just an absolute rock.

he's probably the only one who ever has a healthy emotional state while they are playing. AND SOMETIMES HE FREAKS OUT and that's great too.

the dynamics.

the main ship is ben/adam but this is OUR PRIMER so we're talking about ben/adam/sam which is the ship that compels us most.

first of all given the format of the show sam by definition haunts the narrative and is the narrator. also ben and adam live in NYC and sam lives in colorado and i think we can all have fun with that bc it shows that sam is a wild private recluse but also he talks to them every single day at work and is obsessed with them.

anyway the premise of the show mandates deep trust in each other and also, again: they all have to have the same thing wrong with them. WHICH THEY DO!

they put themselves in their own little rat race and then film themselves and edit it for us to consume and then debrief and analyze the rat race on their podcast. it's CRAZY. they are always making game plans based on deep psychoanalysis of each other's habits and preferences. they have such deep intimate knowledge of each other that they play against an imaginary version of each other and GET IT CORRECT.

three neurodivergent people have never thought about each other more. they care about each other but also they love tormenting each other. they're all sadists but none of them are masochists so they have to take turns. and what they DON'T know is that we can link any casual work-related commentary into an extensive mental lore of their insane light-bdsm long distance polycule. so translate that into some smut and let's go go go !!!

[gatheredfates]

Of course I was going to respond to my own qotd! I actually have a few, so.

I wish I had more confidence to post my original work, most especially (but not limited to) my Thirteenth verse and some of the ideas I've had rolling around regarding Solution Nine/Shaaloani. I've talked a little around Coyote/Tech Bop but I also really want to explore the idea I've had for an Elezen knight-simulacrum—her name is Edelgard and I'm kinda not normal about her. I think the major thing that stops me is that I'm naturally a collaborative person, I much prefer to write with people than writing alone, and that tends to stop me a bit. It's why I don't write all that much about my WoL verse for Kor as I much prefer writing it with people or exploring it for people. When I'm doing it for myself, I both get really into it and end up really bored because it's the same feedback loop. It's why I struggle with, but am trying to overcome, my tendency to write fanfic every like two years LOL.

In pure indulgence, I'd love to write more ships/romance with people. I'm just a sucker for a good ship!! Let the OCs kiss!! Shipping is one of those things in roleplay/fandom that far too many people put down and yet seem to want at the same. Embrace your hedonism and write that stuff! Who cares if people think you're cringe!!!

In addition to the above, I'd also like to write with more people—whether in game or out. However, I have a woeful timezone and attention span, which I'm also trying to work on. Work doesn't help when I'm absolutely exhausted from the day, but I'm hoping the new job will help with that in making me tired in a less burnt out way and more a genuine weariness.

I'd love to go to more events, but that plays into the above as well. I do genuinely miss in-character club events where people could drink, dance and have fun. I know a lot of people put nightclubs down, but my controversial yet brave opinion is that fight clubs are no better for being 'acceptable' and, frankly, are less collaborative because you have to make room for the people to brawl (This is not a go at them btw, it's just an observation based on my experiences). I love a mixture of serious and non-serious events. Honestly, I wish I had more events to add to the Compendium, but they are hard to find!

I'd just like to do more collaborative things. I'm a collaborative girlie. I love doing things with other people.

This is one of my favourite oc/wol qotd posts to make because I do think it paves the way for positive interactions and the like—so!

If you could have one self-indulgent thing in your writing/roleplay/characterisations right now, what would it be and why? This could be something as simple as 'I wish I had the confidence to post x work' or 'I wish I could roleplay x and y but I would need [insert character type here] to make it work' or even 'I'd love to find x community but I'm not sure if it even exists'.

If you see someone's indulgence here and you can help them by either supporting or contributing to it, take the time to reach out! ✨You might just make a new friend or encourage someone to be more confident in their work.

[dontcallmetreffy]

Now that we have a confirmed date: here is my Nocturne Bingo card! Feel free to use, just credit back to me! (I’m curious as to what y’all think might happen this season, although the trailer already confirmed a few points since I made this months ago 👀)

[seiwas]

sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe

so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?

:3c

heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3

contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars

deku + light

izuku only sleeps with the lights off.

it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.

you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.

he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.

and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.

the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.

he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.

"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"

he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.

"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."

you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."

"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.

you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.

sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.

on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.

you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.

"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.

"hm?" he clarifies.

"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"

his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.

"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"

"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.

finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—

you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.

—what was hard, was figuring out why.

at first, you suspected it was his scars.

"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."

you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.

when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.

it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.

you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.

he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.

there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.

“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.

he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.

“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.

“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”

“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.

you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.

“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.

it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.

he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."

"it's not."

you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.

"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."

[centaurianthropology]

One thing that I think a lot of Disco Elysium meta misses (likely because a lot of it is very clearly written by young Americans writing from an intensely American-centric cultural perspective without even really realizing it) is that one of the singular and central themes of the game is massive-scale generational trauma in a home that is economically collapsing as its resources and people are being drained by an occupation.  People have noted that no one tries to help Harry, despite the fact his mental illness is incredibly obvious to everyone around him.  He tells Kim that he completely lost his memory, and Kim politely asks him to focus on the work.  He tells Gottlieb that he had a heart attack, and Gottlieb tells him that if he’s still alive it couldn’t have been that bad.  That he’ll drop dead sooner or later, but then so does everyone.

And that’s the most important thing: so does everyone.  Look at Martinaise.  Look at the world in which Harry lives.  It is not our own, but it is adjacent to ours.  More specifically, it is clearly adjacent to the states of the Eastern Bloc: overtaken and occupied by a faraway government that clearly doesn’t care about Revachol or its people.  And that is obvious in every tired face, every defeated citizen, everyone trying to eke out a little happiness or meaning in spite of the overwhelming trauma and damage around them.  The buildings are still half-destroyed.  The bullet holes are still in the walls.  The revolution was decades before, but it still feels to the people there like a fresh wound.  The number of men of Harry’s generation who are not alcoholic or otherwise deeply fucked up are very few.  Some, like Kim, hide it better, but the deeper you dig into his history, the more you realize how damaged Kim is.  He’s more than a little trigger happy, and hates that about himself, but he is a product of his environment: Kim’s entire life is seeing people he cared about shot and killed, so his instinct now is to shoot first himself, to protect those few people left who still matter to him.

Harry is not unique in his trauma.  He is a distillation of an entire culture of people who tried to rise up and make something beautiful, and were instead routed and occupied.  He is trapped between the occupation and the people on the ground, along with all the rest of the RCM.  Their authority comes from the occupying government, but it is implied that they were formed out of the remnants of the citizens militia which sprung up from Revachol itself as a way to try to mitigate some of the horrors being committed on its streets.  The Moralintern sure as hell wasn’t going to get their hands dirty, so they happily conscripted (and therefore could better control) this group, who are only recognized in certain places, and whose authority mostly amounts to giving out fines.  The RCM is corrupt, but it is corrupt in the same way its culture is.  Bribes are considered standard with them, not a moral failing, but a necessity, so long as those bribes are correctly logged as ‘donations’.  It’s how the RCM stays afloat, and the rest of Revachol completely understands that.  Everyone would take a bribe if it meant they kept eating.  Everyone would take a little under-the-table money if it meant keeping a roof over their heads.  The officersof the RCM certainly don’t make enough to see a doctor.  They have an in-house lazarus, and if he can’t fix them they just die.  Mental health care?  What mental health care?  Harry doesn’t get it for the same reason no one else does: it doesn’t really seem to exist.  There are no counselors, no psychologists, no psychiatrists.  How would they even start?  If the world is what is broken, if everyone is suffering a similar catastrophic amount, it makes sense that Harry’s trauma would simply get rolled up with all the rest.  Kim asks him to get on with the job because Harry’s suffering is not remarkable in Revachol.  He is one of an entire generation who have an astronomical number of orphans from the revolution, and so many younger people are left more or less orphans as their parents drink themselves into oblivion like Cuno’s father.  So Harry’s truly unique attribute is embodying all that trauma, having it all inside of him, filling him to bursting.

To really engage with the themes of the game, engaging first and foremost with the reality of Revachol is imperative.  Imposing our own reality onto Revachol, particularly if coming from an American perspective (which tend to have the habit of both viewing the world through an American lens and not realizing they’re doing it because they’ve never experienced a different lens), will always feel shallow to me because of this.

All that is to say, I would love to hear some more explicitly European meta about this game, and especially Eastern European meta.  If anyone can point me to some good, juicy essays from that perspective, I would be grateful!

[foundfamily-connoisseur]

Honestly that's fair. I'm not on reddit so I'm not aware of how popular the sentiment is so I'm not really up to speed in that department.

That being said though, I don't have much of an attachment to the characters so while I'll have my 🤨 moments I'm just eh and move on. Honestly i juat find it kinda sad on either side to insist on a hc or that the other simply can't be. Like bro let the boxer a chill dude or idk did a homocide for the funnies. There isn't much to really work with depending on if you want to use what we see in the games cutscenes or not.

And on comfort characters and yumeshippers yeah I can get why they take it more to heart and why i feel kinda bad in my "arans a cheat" corner 😭 like I can see him going in a lot of directions but it's when ppl get adamant about either that gets me, and on tumblr (which is really the only place I'm in) I've just seen more for "aran ryan could literally never be a cheater" so I was like 🧍‍♂️ oopsies

Ig im just more concerned ppl will think I'm making the hcs to actively be against them and not just because I think it'd be fun to explore or based on my own experiences (in life or from other people) 😭 like nooooo I'm not trying to be devils advocate it's just a rlly bad series of coincidences that make it look worse

Probably shouldn't speak on it for my own peace of mind but I will because I wanna say it. Some of yall need to let ppl have hcs 😭 More specifically the ones that don't make your fav character as nice as you want them to be.

Yknow what this is specifically about punch out where arguable theres like. Barely any characterization besides bare bones. And people know that but also don't for some reason

Like hc Aran Ryan as a super soft dude who's idk secretly rlly sensitive and no one bats an eye, hc him to be a cheater and society goes WILD

Like oh "why does he have to be a cheater just because he cheats in the ring—" BECAUSE WHY NOT???? God forbid i have fun with a story of him being a cheater because he's scared of any kind of commitment so he actively sabotoges his own relationships to the point he's so used to it that anything else seems foreign. Also I'm sorry but that man looks insane he has broken laws and I could see it going either way on whether or not infedility is something he adds onto the list. Maybe when he was younger and stupider.

Like what if I wanna make these boxers a bit of an asshole???? Asshole characters are fun to draw/write and I'm not trying to go out and say it's canon or say he's for sure a bad person or he totally can't be gentle with his partner.

Like I don't wanna say too much cuz im just the same but sometimes people take things too personally and punch out is one of the last fandoms to argue about correct or incorrect characterization 😭 for every yin there's the yang and im the yin ig

Tldr: as long as the hc isn't like. Morally and legally reprehensible who cares.

[repulsivethoughts]

Little devil :]

I procrastinated this WAY too much; real proud of how it turned out tho

[astrofiish]

When stars smile at moon, I wonder how it looks in your eyes

//based on the twitter trend, linked under the cut

//speedpaint also under cut

[malcolmschmitz]

@eternalfarnham asked me to elaborate, so!

There's a problem you get with game writing sometimes where the game's traditional narrative doesn't keep track of the worldstate. You make a choice, and the world changes because of it! But for whatever reason, that choice isn't reflected in the traditional writing- the dialogue, the characters' arcs, or the broader narrative.

You could call this a lot of things- 'worldstate agnostic writing' might be a good term for it? Me, I tend to call it the Shipgirl Problem. (I started noticing it in my writing when I was working on an anime shipgirl game; I complained about it to my partner using that phrase enough that the name stuck. )

The Shipgirl Problem can take a number of forms- try to spot how many of them exist in Three Houses!

A character grows as a person- they change how they see the world, how they act, how they talk, or what have you- but that character growth is confined to their personal questline. In the Main Quest, or in other characters' quests, they act the way they always have.

A character has a relationship with another character that is mediated in a game mechanical way- love points, Supports, etc. - but the relationship only changes very specific lines of dialogue or cutscenes. At every other point, the characters' relationship stays at their baseline state.

The player is given a number of narrative choices that should change the worldstate in a minor or major way- characters dying or betraying you, time-travel-children being born, Large Political Choices with knock-on side effects- but the game only changes in a major way at specific, clearly flagged points.

You're given a gameplay formula that makes sense for one point in the narrative; the narrative has a major shift, but the gameplay formula remains, despite no longer making narrative sense.

(in order: many of the support/paralogue missions (especially Petra's)/ ditto, especially Edelgard-Hubert and Dimitri-Felix/ the whole game; the major choices you make are your choice of House and your choice of whether to support the Church, and the rest of the big choices mean nothing; YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE GARREG MACH AS YOUR BASE IN CRIMSON FLOWER.)

To be clear: these problems are not unique to FE3H, they're inherently a part of choice-driven interactive writing. Traditional writing is static- you write something, and it happens. The more choices that the player can make, the more writing you have to do, and the more expensive and difficult to implement the worldstate becomes. The entire history of the interactive fiction medium is figuring out how to mitigate or remove the Shipgirl Problem.

There's a reason that most of the best narrative games are either linear experiences without much player choice (Ace Attorney, GRIS, Chants of Senaar, Spiritfarer) or are time loop games (Majora's Mask, Outer Wilds, Elsinore). In a linear narrative experience, you're in the characters' shoes, but your choices don't change the narrative; in a time loop game, the game only has to remember the changes you make in the loop, and can reset after (to pick a TOTALLY ARBITRARY number) 22 minutes.

I'm mad that Fire Emblem has it so badly, and has so few points where Byleth has dialogue that could meaningfully impact the narrative - I am starting to loathe how Byleth's character was implemented, but that's a whole nother rant- because unlike a lot of the games I mentioned, it doesn't have serious budget or technological limitations. FE3H isn't an indie game! FE3H is running on modern consoles! FE3H clearly has mechanisms to keep track of who is in your party and who has relationships with who! They just... didn't manage, for whatever reason, to hook those mechanics into the dialogue engine, and so the game suffers for it.

The only game I have ever played that has meaningful player choice without any Shipgirl Problem is @blacktabbygames ' Slay the Princess. In Slay the Princess, every choice you make is meaningful, has a clear and major impact on the narrative, and sticks with you the whole playthrough. If you want to see game narrative done right, go check that game out.

I still love Fire Emblem: Three Houses, I love the characters and world, and I think it's fun and engaging.

.... But I've learnt a LOT about writing for games since I played Three Houses for the first time, and the cracks in it from a craft perspective are a bit noticeable.

And I'm not even talking about the story structure/mystery stuff or the fact that some of these kids are incredibly compelling and some are... Ferninand... or anything about the writing itself. It's all about how they've chosen to present that story as a game.

[welcomeinitiate]

soccer chef is sooo fun! I need a full version of it ASAP

question though, I made bicycle kick although that's not in the recipe book?

Thanks!!! It was incredibly fun to make and also a giant mess of spaghetti. The way I made it was a little unhinged in that I used global variables and had the game reset each time you click the pot lid

There are four dishes that were implemented but not listed in the recipe section as they weren't helpful to the puzzle solve: Hand Ball, Drop Ball, Bicycle Kick, and Kick Off--looks like you figured one of them out!

[thegreatyin]

question at what point should someone know where parabola is in fallen london?

depends on if you mean lore-wise or gameplay-wise!

lore-wise, i think you can learn about parabola as early as the flit if you pursue the cats and bats plotlines enough. there's also a ton of stuff referencing and relating back to it the more you explore, so you're bound to run into at least one mention of it eventually. it's kind of the neath's worst kept secret. like. to the point where i think we all kinda forget it's a secret in the first place.

gameplay-wise, establishing a parabolan base camp and unlocking the ability to traverse to-and-fro parabola is one of the major milestones to hit in early-midgame and mid-midgame (as odd as that phrase sounds) progression. it's not something you necessarily need to beeline for, but it's definitely something you'll want to put high on your to-do list after becoming A Person Of Some Importance.

the main function of parabola early on is acting as a sort of "advanced skill bootcamp" where you can level your glasswork, APoC, etc, with more functions and goodies unlocking as you upgrade and explore more in-depth with it. you likely won't find yourself heavily relying on it for a good while, but speaking as an endgame player; build your basecamp. upgrade your basecamp. invest in your basecamp. you will thank yourself so much for doing both, Especially the latter. the wounds and nightmares reductions alone are both Super Worth It.

overall though, if you haven't even built your laboratory or gotten a ship yet, Do Both Of Those First. and if you don't even have them as options... parabola is something you shouldn't even be worrying about right now. don't sweat it. play the game at your own pace. it'll still be there when you get there.