#a lot of them i haven't used at length so they might not be perfect

[rin-and-jade]

Welcome to the World! : A Starting Guide for Alters

This guide's purpose is to help either new formed/split, or those recently risen from dormancy, or the unregistered/unrecognized alters to get one step closer to functioning at the outside world!

It'll be one long rundown, click below to start right away, see you on the flip side.

From here on, what will be mentioned are things to assess some potential problems, questions, and self-discovery prompts. It is recommended to follow the flow of the guide, but if you necessarily need to skim to a certain section, this table of contents will help you:

table of contents

The beginning - Introduction

Things to look out for - potential problems to assess - Mobility - Gender & Species unalignment - World confusion

Starters - self discovery questions

How a system works - lite educative version

Closing - last notes + extra materials

The beginning

Nice to see you here, in the flip side! Now i know you have lots of questions on hand right now, and why you might be reading this as first thing's first; it's because i am here to help prepare yourself in many different aspects that cannot be learnt/figured out in such a short amount of time unless it is assisted with an experienced person.

If you haven't know what's going on up to this point, along with the kind of situation you're in, first off, you're a system.

Yes, thats right, system is a word for a collection of many parts within one body and you are also a part of it. This can mean you'll hear other kinds of accent inside head, and feeling + liking fully different things, as well as possessing different levels of certain skills and memory. More or less, this belongs to the qualities of a Complex Dissociative Disorder,, where there are types like DID, OSDD, Polyfragmented, etc.

This happens because of how dissociation can wall up barriers between other facets of yourself that stops some level of communication or complete it's integration when bad things happen in early years, leaving them mainly separated and self-autonomous; they're known as 'alters' but i personally love calling them as 'parts' or some might go with words like 'headmates' or 'facets' or even 'members'.

This isn't enough to explain the disorder itself, but i hope it suffices in explaining your situation! Feel free to check some extra system details if your gang has one, let's get to the next section.

Things to look out for

Just a quick warning and a reminder, if you are rather new or have not been actively out,, there is a high chance of having issues with limb coordination, control, and balancing. Other than that, the off-putting sensations you feel such as wrong type of species, height, gender, or even the world being foreign from how you perceive it can make things scary and overwhelming.

Fear not, as i also have the solutions for all these:

Handling poor mobility: First off, take a good moment to recognize your length of the arms, legs, learn the shape of your palm and fingers, and to every corners of your body. Start holding some simple objects like mugs or pens, remember how it feels to grab something with your fingers and gauge your grip strength, experimenting when you squeeze or loosen it. Then start interacting with the objects with both your hands, attempt to twirl it, or hold it in different positions and turns. You can also go for a test walk and sway all your joints to get a better picture of your movement range, practice makes perfect in easing your balance and momentum, it is normal to stub or be wobbly or clumsy at first, so take it easy okay?

To manage unalignment: It is hard to feel comfy if it is not the right height, especially for non-human aligned parts, so using props or any equipment or accessories can give you some sense of comfort (you can even walk on toes if you do need to feel a bit more tall, but don't over do this). Since fully eradicating this is impossible, doing anything in your power to lessen the discomfort is the best thing you can do,, there are also phantom limbs which basically means the extra body parts you identify with does not exist. This can be remedied by applying some gentle pressure to think that it is attached to your main body or use your imagination to satisfy that missing limb. for those not being aligned with the gender, if the body is feminine but you are masculine; try investing or search for a binder. If a binder is out of reach, wearing oversized, or baggy clothes, or hoodies will do the trick. And a boyish clothing style and short hair style if possible too. If its masculine in a feminine instead, using more girly oriented clothing style and do your nails, or any activities that affirms feminine aligned gender. I am very sure there are silicon chest pads but not in terms of where it is being sold at, so try to find them if it's available in your area. When neither and is androgynous instead, try searching for gender neutral clothes that are also neutral colored like grey/black/brown. There are many inspirations of this type of fashion so use the internet to gain inspirations on making your own androgyny look, you could even use make up to contour your shape of face. Now, for the ones who walk in hind-legs, get some platform heels/shoes/sandals/boots. You can find a flat one or the slanted one to match your needs. The idea is the slanted part of the shoe and the thick base gives an impression of canine/feline foot balance and for those who have hooves, respectively. (honestly, paw printed socks will do too, i hope) And to manage claws, or fangs, try using fake nail art of your color, or attach a fake vampire teeth guard, respectively. For symbolic means, you can even consume foods that are juicy and red, like meat cooked in medium,, or if you want the more vegan option: watermelons, or gummy that represents meat or grubs or just by being red to represent blood. Lastly, for the avians who have a pair of flaps--multiple wings, or in unusual spots (arm, face) can be eased by applying constant pressure points (any adhesive and items like tape, cotton, band aids, tissue, or plastic wrap) or a cloak/mantle/loose jacket or vest can give you that comfortable enshrouded sensation that comes with wings. Making flap sounds from cloth or any fabric will also give you a stable sense of input for having a 'functional' one, although phantom.

Getting used to the world Start learning how technology works--phone, laptop, kitchen tools, vehicle if any, and anything else that are often used. Make sure you practice enough to easily operate them, and learn how to use the internet and helpful plural apps or websites such as Lighthouse or start using Simply Plural. Try many foods to enhance culinary awareness, identify lots of other objects and the geography of your area to navigate and understand better. Touch many kinds of materials to train your sensory processes. You could also invest in watching shows and try a variety amount of activities to deepen your understanding of life. Explore different kinds of subject that you are particularly interested on, and lastly, never be afraid to do and try new things! This will guarantee you to seamlessly function with anything the world has to offer.

For starters - Self Discovery

Do you have a name?

do you what's your age?

What's your gender?

What are your pronouns?

Do you remember anything, and how much?

Do you seem to retain some past knowledge?

Can you describe what you look like? (Includes species)

Do you find the outside world familiar or foreign?

Can you state your bio name, family, or any important info?

Is it possible to describe yourself identity/vibe wise? (crucial part to tell apart fragments from splits and from holders that do not embody a personality)

What role could you fit as? (a host, protector, etc. Search for alter roles)

Do you like the outside world? Will you have a chance of being out more often? (to gauge how often one will front)

Have any likes and dislikes or preferences/hobbies?

For the bullet points you couldn't answer, take this as a sign to start searching! It will take some time, but you can ask help from anyone and even me when needed.

How a system works

A system works in communication (be it internal or external) and switches that also often have a specific trigger to call out someone else. Sometimes, though not a must, will have an innerworld that facilitates as a place for everyone to meet and interact.

These things are crucial for cooperation, because you'll definitely need that in order to navigate the world and adapt accordingly.

Communication

There are many kinds of communication styles, sometimes a mix of some or have all of the above,, whatever style you have, make sure to use it to the maximum. There are: via images, via abstract vibes, via emotions, or via direct (verbal) internal thoughts. Some do not have any internal communication, so external ones would be things such as keeping notes or write in a diary or any app for text editing.

Keep in mind that the clarity of communication fluctuates due to various factors, stress as one of them. So it is important to know that it will not work in a constant 100% at all times, use this awareness to strategize if, somehow, you have lost contact with the others.

Trigger & Switches

It is something that elicits a feeling that belongs to a part, which in return, can 'wake' or call one to co-con or front. There are negative and positive charged triggers, and i suggest you to explore what are your potential triggers.

The relationship with trigger and switches is, depending on how strong it is, can cause a switch to happen, where you will be swapped out by another one who got 'called' upon. This mechanism is for adapting to different kinds of situations, and these certain triggers are the key to ensuring the right part handle it's respective job as needed.

Switches can be very subtle, or slow, or obvious, or in a snap. This fully depends on how your system is made to handle problems on hand or when in stress, as sometimes it can cause rapid-switching, or the opposite, being stuck or locked in front. Sometimes, they also cause physical symptoms.

System terms - Basics

Fronting - the alter who has full control of the body, and performing tasks. Co-front - the alter, who have awareness between the outside and inside world, as well as able to control the body though not as complete as the fronter. Co-conscious - the alter who have awareness of the outside world, and spectates, and does not have any direct control of the body. Passive influence - when an alter's specific traits or likes/dislikes leaked to others and/or at front, that changes the initial reaction to be more blended with the other one. E.g. A like fries, B is there and likes spicy sauces. So now, A is craving to eat the fries with something spicy, even if A has no interest when it comes to spiciness or sauce.

For closing

Practice makes perfect, this is everything you need to know to hone your knowledge before finally stepping outside with complete freedom, where you can start anywhere you'd like, and to resume your collective's path to functionality and well-being. It's okay if things didn't go well at first try, and remember to reach out to people who you could trust as it'll help you progress faster!

I am aware that this guide still have a lot of room for improvement, so any requests or feedback will be added here for future viewers! This guide will be subjected to constant updates with even more sections being discussed on, or added touch of details. I will also add on my own posts here to serve as additional knowledge that is related to this topic:

Types of amnesia

Are you a Shard, Fragment, or Alter

Types of subsystems

Front-stuck, and how to deal with it

Physical switches

Comorbidity

Being blurry

Starters to system foundations

How comorbidity affects plurals (ADHD & Autism)

Dealing with the sense of faking

The person who needs to give their back a break, - j

[weirdkpopgirl]

Friends Who Kiss | Chenle Fic #1

Title: Friends Who Kiss

Genre: Best friends to lovers, high school/college au

Warnings: mentions of the reader being insecure and having a mental breakdown at some point. a little suggestive, but not really

Word Count: ~ 5.6k

Author's Note: Okay to be very honest, I think that this story is kinda stupid and cliché. But it was an idea that I still wanted to try writing. And this is my first full-length fic for Chenle too, so I'm happy to post something for him. So to those who like cheesy romance stories, I hope you enjoy this. Thank you for reading ^ ^

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Since the start of high school, Zhong Chenle has been a consistent part of your life. He arrived as a transfer student from Shanghai, while you were the reserved kid who often used studying as an excuse to avoid social interaction. So rather than you reaching out to him first, it was he who practically claimed you as his best friend. Your personalities were a striking contrast, but it proved to be the perfect balance. It didn't take long for the two of you to become inseparable.

However, your friendship took a turn in eleventh grade. You guys had gone to your house after school to do homework. Except it was mostly you working on assignments, while Chenle was animatedly ranting about some mobile game Jisung was terrible at playing.

“It’s unbelievable! Every time I check his character gets killed,” Chenle laughed, and you responded with a soft hum of acknowledgment.

The boy glanced up from his phone to find you engrossed in your textbooks. While your attention was focused on writing an essay, you were also trying to keep your mind from drifting to the unsettling conversation you had during lunch that day. Typically, you and Chenle sat together with his friends. But Jisung needed the boy’s help stalking his crush, so you found yourself sitting with some of the girls in your class. 

Sensing the inner conflict brewing in your mind, Chenle rose from the bed and leaned over your shoulder. 

“You've been at this since we got here. How is your brain not fried?” he asked, blunt as usual.

You shot the boy with an unappreciative glare. “It is fried. But our essay is due on Monday, and I still have to help you with yours.”

Chenle sighed, well aware of your enduring determination. Ever since he met you, he couldn’t understand why you stressed so much over assignments, especially when you always completed them before the due date. Then you somehow managed to go out of your way to ensure he was doing the same.

“You’re more than halfway finished, and I’ll get to mine on my own time,” He reassured, “Why don’t you take a break for now?”

Before you could protest, Chenle swiftly pulled you out of your chair and guided you to sit on the bed with him. Worry clouded his gaze. “Something’s troubling you, isn’t it?”

Your teeth sank into your lower lip, hating how Chenle knew you so well. He didn’t have a problem sharing what was on his mind, while you were the exact opposite. Yet, even a single look at you was enough for him to detect something was off.

“The girls at lunch were going on about their dating experiences and stuff,” you began to explain, your tone tinged with irritation at the memory. “They were all so surprised when I said I haven’t had my first kiss yet.”

You pushed yourself to meet Chenle's gaze, half dreading that he might burst into laughter. Instead, his expression held a hint of amusement, and that alone made you regret bringing up the topic.

Before he could respond, you hurriedly attempted to backtrack on your words. “It's stupid, I know—”

“It’s not stupid if it’s making you upset,” Chenle said firmly.

Leaning back in your seat, you let out an exasperated sigh. “I just can’t get their judgmental looks out of my head. All because I don’t have much experience with dating?”

Chenle's expression softened as he confessed, "There's nothing wrong with that, and there’s a lot of people like you. I haven't had my first kiss either."

“Really?!” You stared at him in disbelief. “Didn't you date Ko Mi-so though?”

Chenle scoffed, appearing slightly offended. “Okay, that happened such a long time ago. And we didn't even last a month, so we never kissed.”

Now that you thought about it, he was right about their relationship ending almost as quickly as it began. You recalled the time back in tenth grade when Chenle was quite smug about dating Mi-so, who happened to be the prettiest girl in class. Frankly, you were somewhat relieved when they broke up, given that she didn't particularly like you. Chenle hasn’t dated anyone since.

“Oh, I guess that makes sense,” your voice trailed off. 

The boy stayed silent for a moment before an idea dawned on him. “You know what? Why don’t we have our first kiss now?”

Your cheeks felt like they were competing for a world record in how quickly they heated up at Chenle's proposal. He couldn't possibly be serious.

“Did I hear you right?” you stammered, thoroughly taken aback by the suggestion.

Chenle nodded confidently, “I mean, we're best friends, so it's not that weird. And it's better than kissing someone we don't know as well or not have a connection with.”

You could kind of see his point. Having Chenle as your first kiss did seem much safer than kissing some random guy. Besides, it wasn’t like either of you had any underlying feelings for each other. This would solely be for practice.

“Alright,” you reluctantly agreed, “But you have to promise not to make fun of me if I turn out to be a bad kisser."

Chenle chuckled and nodded. He inched closer to you on the bed, leaving little space between the two of you. Although he saw you every day, having your face this near made a faint blush tinge his cheeks.

He started to lean in more before pausing. "Um, maybe you should close your eyes."

"Oh—right," you mumbled awkwardly, then took a deep breath before allowing your eyelids to shut.

He had to suppress a chuckle, finding you kinda cute in that moment. Before you had a chance to second-guess yourself, Chenle pressed his lips against yours in a tender kiss. Shortly after, he drew back, searching for your reaction.

“So, how was that?” He asked, voice laced with teasing.

You stared at him incredulously for a moment before realizing he was waiting for you to answer. “I suppose it was okay,” you mumbled.

Chenle tilted his head with an amused grin. “Just okay?”

“Yeah, I guess I didn't feel much because we're not really into each other like that,” you admitted with a nonchalant shrug.

Okay, you might have partially lied about not feeling much during the kiss. Truth be told, there was this strange, fluttery sensation in your chest when your best friend's lips grazed yours. But perhaps all first kisses were like that, and you were simply overthinking it.

The boy beside you let out a hearty laugh. “Well at least we got that over with.”

You had to muster all your self-control not to blush when he followed up with, “And you're not a bad kisser, by the way.”

Believing that the experiment was over, the two of you returned to your previous tasks. Nothing changed much after that day in your bedroom, as you and Chenle remained best friends. But little did you realize that this wouldn't be the last kiss you'd be sharing with him. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Despite your previous attempts to justify it, the second kiss you shared with Chenle happened partially because of you. As your senior year of high school unfolded, Chenle prepared for his performance at the spring festival. It was you who initially urged him to participate in the talent show. The countless times you had witnessed his piano playing and singing during your private moments together convinced you that he should share his talents with the world. Your compliments not only fueled Chenle’s ego but also prompted him to eagerly jot his name down on the sign-up sheet.

However, what you didn’t expect was to find him backstage, looking as pale as a ghost. He was supposed to go after a group of girls who were dancing to Red Velvet’s “Red Flavor.” With the intention of cheering him on in person, you spotted the dark-haired boy sitting on a chair, anxiously bouncing his legs.

“Last-minute jitters?" you asked softly.

Chenle glanced up at you and crossed his arms in a nonchalant manner. “What, me? I'm fine,” he replied, though his tone lacked conviction.

Just as Chenle knew you like the back of his hand, you were among the few who could read him. While he was partially correct about never being nervous, it didn't take an idiot to perceive that he was in that moment. It was evident he was trying to play it off to uphold his confident image. 

One aspect that troubled you about Chenle was his constant facade of cheerfulness and carefree demeanor. No one could genuinely be happy all the time, and he was the kind of person who concealed his negative feelings when around others.

After deliberating on how to address the situation, you gently rested your hand on his shoulder, bringing yourself to eye level with him.

“Hey, you’re going to be amazing out there,” you reassured him. “I’ve seen how many hours you put into practicing that song. You have nothing to worry about.”

Chenle let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, you're right.”

The smile he bestowed upon you didn't quite convince you. Biting your lip in hesitation, you glanced around to ensure no one else was nearby. Once you were sure that you were alone, you leaned down and gently planted a kiss on the boy’s forehead. Chenle’s eyes widened in surprise at your actions.

“What was that for?”

Blushing, you took a step back and stammered, “Just for good luck, you know. I—I’ll be right there in the crowd, watching you. So if you feel nervous on stage, just look at me.”

A more reassured smile spread across Chenle’s lips and before he stood up to swiftly peck you on the lips, leaving you more stunned than he was a few seconds ago.

“There, I definitely feel more ready now,” he declared with a teasing glint. And the smug Chenle you were familiar with had returned.

As Chenle’s playfulness lingered in the air, the sound of the audience clapping erupted for the girls, putting an end to your “moment.” With a knowing look, you both parted ways, allowing Chenle to step into the spotlight for his performance.

As he took the stage, you found a spot in the crowd, eyes fixed on him with awe. The rhythm of the applause filled the air, drowning out any lingering thoughts. In that moment, the stage became his world, and you couldn't help but be swept away by the magic of his talent. The earlier exchange faded into the background as you watched Chenle shine, each note and melody weaving a captivating spell that left you in admiration.

Neither of you mentioned the kiss after that day. The interaction remained more platonic than anything, a gesture that was only meant to show your support for him. But Chenle still liked to think he killed the stage because of it.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Chenle was undeniably responsible for the next time the two of you kissed. However, this particular incident didn't unfold until the first semester of your freshman year in college. The joy of discovering you both had been accepted into the same university was palpable, though Chenle appeared to be more exuberant about the news. In contrast, you felt a sense of relief, grateful that you wouldn't be venturing into the world of college alone.

In one of your classes, a sunbae began to show interest in you. Despite your attempts to politely reject him, it became apparent that he wasn't willing to accept no for an answer. 

One day after class, he cornered you in the hallway, insisting that you go out with him. As you tried to maintain your composure, he grabbed you by the wrist when you tried to walk away. The harsh move triggered internal panic within you.

You could sense the danger in his tone as his head tilted cockily. “Come on, (Y/n), don’t be so difficult. I know you’re just playing hard to get.”

“I—I’m sorry but I just don’t feel the same as you, Sunbae,” you stuttered, trying to be assertive. “Please let go.”

Refusing to relent, the sunbae was on the verge of pulling you in closer when another hand intervened, forcefully ripping you out of his grasp. Your head turned in astonishment to see Chenle casting a disgusted look at the guy in front of you. The flames in Chenle’s eyes made you realize that you had never seen him so livid before.

“She said to let go of her. What part of that do you not understand?” Chenle’s voice cut through the tension.

The sunbae scoffed and crossed his arms in defense, “Yah, who are you to involve yourself in someone else’s matters? Are you her boyfriend or something?”

You watched as the corner of Chenle’s lips turned into a smirk as he snaked an arm around your waist in a protective gesture. 

“That’s right. So who are you to go after another man’s girlfriend?” he retorted confidently. Your eyes widened, almost surprised as the jerk in front of you.

Shaking his head in a mix of disbelief and embarrassment, the sunbae pointed a finger at you. “This is a joke, right? You just asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend to mess with me!”

Before you could respond, Chenle took matters into his own hands. His free hand briskly moved to the back of your neck, drawing you in for a passionate kiss. In a typical situation, your best friend's impulsive actions might have freaked you out immediately. However, the way his fingers delicately pressed against your back reassured you that he was doing this for your sake, Closing your eyes, you kissed back and tried to reciprocate with the same passion Chenle was pouring.

Moments later, Chenle pulled away and turned to the sunbae, wearing a satisfied grin on his face. “Do you believe her now? Not that she has to prove anything to you.”

The older male muttered begrudgingly under his breath, “Whatever, not worth my time.”

With a scowl, he stormed off, leaving behind a palpable sense of relief in the wake of his departure. Once he was gone, you removed yourself from Chenle's hold and shot him a look of confusion.

“You know you didn’t have to do that right?” 

Chenle chuckled, “Well, someone had to put an end to his nonsense. Besides, I've always wanted to play the protective boyfriend card.”

“Protective boyfriend? You almost gave me a heart attack!” You smacked him on the shoulder.

Chenle’s smirk remained, but he adopted a more concerned tone. “But seriously, (Y/n), why didn’t you tell me he was bothering you earlier?”

“I thought I could handle things on my own.” You shrugged weakly, lowering your head in guilt.

Chenle sighed, recognizing your aversion to depending on others for your problems. Throughout the time he’d known you, he'd witnessed your willingness to go to great lengths to help those you cared about. However, when it came to your own struggles, you seemed to prefer suffering in silence.

“We’re best friends for a reason,” he reminded you, “Looking after each other is 50/50, you know?”

You offered him a small smile, “I guess you’re right. Thanks for saving me today.”

“Well, you can thank me by buying food tonight,” Chenle said, the playful glint returning to his eyes. “It’s your turn anyway.”

Rolling your eyes, you let him lead you out of the building. But Chenle’s words from earlier lingered in the back of your mind. “We’re best friends for a reason.” 

The two of you were the epitome of what best friends were. And that was all the two of you would ever be, right?

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At this point, you were beginning to lose count of the number of times you’ve kissed your best friend. Despite this, your friendship maintained its familiar rhythm throughout the university. But after that hallway encounter, the awkwardness that came with kissing your best friend faded. Although it was more of Chenle seeming unfazed, and you becoming less surprised each time it happened. And indeed, there were a few more instances that caused your lips to meet.

Like the time Chenle excitedly dragged you to his dorm to watch a Golden State Warriors game, and, in the heat of the moment, he gave you a quick kiss before cheering some more. Then there was the other time when you both went out for drinks with friends, a few drunken kisses were shared.

There weren't any real feelings attached to the kisses you and Chenle shared. At least, that was what you repeatedly told yourself. However, as you were halfway through your first year of university, you finally started to question the true nature of your friendship with Zhong Chenle.

Those thoughts began to sink in just before your first finals in college. Isolated in your dorm room, you immersed yourself in studying for a math exam scheduled in three days. Calls and texts from friends went largely ignored as you turned off your phone in an attempt to focus. However, Chenle wasn't about to let that slide. 

One night, he let himself into your dorm, carrying a bag of your favorite takeout—knowing well that you tended to skip meals when stressed. You could see the determination in his face, ready to scold you. But the expression quickly transitioned to one of concern when he caught you on the verge of a breakdown. 

You sat at your desk surrounded by textbooks and notebooks filled with scribbled equations. The sight of your trembling body and slightly tousled hair, a result of pulling on it too hard, tugged at Chenle’s heart. He was well aware of how your anxiety affected you at times. But he had never witnessed it manifest quite like this.

Instantly, the bag was placed on the floor, and he was at your side. “(Y/n), what's wrong?" 

“I—I'm going to fail my calc final,” you swallowed, your fingers curling into fists. Your shoulders slumped, and the weight of despair was evident in the way you hunched over the desk.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, attempting to calm you down. “You still have a few weeks before finals, (Y/n). And you’re not going to fail.”

“Yes, I am!” you cut him off, your voice strained. Tears welled up in your eyes, and your hands clenched even tighter. “I’ve been studying for days, and my dumb brain still doesn't understand anything. Do you know how stupid I feel?”

“Being bad at math doesn’t make you stupid, (Y/n),” Chenle said, trying to inject a bit of lightheartedness into the situation. However, his comment didn’t seem to offer you any comfort.

You shook your head miserably in response. “Stop trying to be nice. I'm going to fail, and then I’ll end up letting down my parents and everyone else.”

Chenle’s heart ached at the defeat in your voice. Setting his jokes aside, he recognized that words weren’t what you needed at the moment. Instead, he enveloped you in a warm embrace. You hesitated only briefly before surrendering to his comforting hold, attempting to fight back tears.

“Just let it out,” he whispered.

Those simple words acted as an emotional release trigger, and Chenle found himself gently rubbing your back as you quietly cried into his shoulder. A sense of mixed emotions flooded him as he held you in that moment. A part of him felt a twinge of relief, grateful that you let him be there for you. You often kept your emotions bottled up, making it a challenge for him to discern how you truly felt at times. 

However, there was a pang of sadness accompanying that satisfaction. He knew you didn't just cry in front of anyone, and realizing that you had reached this breaking point signaled the depth of your struggle.

After a while, Chenle gently pulled back, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “You need a break, (Y/n). Let’s step away from the desk for a bit.”

"No, I really should—" you began to protest, but Chenle cut you off.

"You really should eat the food I brought you before it gets cold," he insisted, picking up the bag again.

He led you to sit on the carpet of your cramped dorm room, creating a makeshift dining space for the two of you. As you both shared a meal, Chenle continued to provide a comforting presence, occasionally cracking a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

As the night wore on, the exhaustion in your eyes became more prominent. Even so, you knew you should go back to studying. But Chenle seemed to disagree.

“Maybe you should just rest for the night. I promise to help you with math in the morning,” he suggested. However, upon seeing the unconvinced look you gave him, he backtracked on his words. “Okay, I'll have Renjun help you.”

Too tired to argue, you gave in, and that's how you found yourself lying in bed with your best friend. Back in high school, you used to have sleepovers at his house on the weekends. At night, the two of you would be lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and talking about anything. However, having him beside you at that moment felt strange. 

You saw a sincere tenderness reflected in those large eyes of his. A part of you wondered if Chenle often gazed at you with such fondness and you simply hadn’t noticed before. Either way, the way he was looking at you made you feel even stranger. And the short silence that had settled between the two of you wasn’t helping.

Uncertain of how much longer you could endure the intensity, you broke eye contact with him and murmured, “Thank you for always being there for me, even when I try to push you away”

Chenle chuckled, adjusting his position to prop himself up on his elbow. “Well, of course, because how could you live without me?”

His ability to joke at a time like this struck you as unfathomable. Instead of the usual eye roll or pushing off the bed, a serious expression remained etched on your face. 

“You're right, I don't think I can live without you,” you said, your voice laced with drowsiness. “Because you’re one of the few people who truly care about me.”

The amusement in his eyes danced away, as he felt the gravity of your words. Something about seeing this vulnerable side of you was so beautiful in his eyes. Before he could fully process his own thoughts, Chenle found himself leaning in to close the space between you with his lips meeting your own.

Uncertain whether it was the leftover stress from your meltdown or the sleep deprivation that prompted you to kiss back without much thought. You could recall all the times you’ve kissed Chenle throughout the years. But this one would always stand out to you.

This kiss lasted a lot longer than your previous ones. But it wasn’t just the way he tilted your chin upward for a better angle, or the feeling of his dark locks of hair slipping between your fingers. Nor was it the soft pressure of his lips moving in sync with yours. It was the indescribable emotions that made time seem to stand still, weaving an unspoken connection that surpassed words and left you yearning for more.

Aside from pulling away, both of you gasping for breath, and noticing how Chenle's lips were redder than you had ever seen them, you vaguely recalled what happened after the kiss. When you woke up the next morning, Chenle was already gone. However, he had left you a text message, mentioning that he went to check if Renjun could help tutor you in math.

But math was no longer the sole stressor in your mind. Your best friend had kissed you last night, and unlike all the other times, this one left you feeling more confused than ever. 

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

True to his word, Renjun offered to meet up with you that Sunday afternoon at the campus library. Within an hour of sitting down to unravel the calculus concept that eluded you, Renjun finally helped you grasp the material. Although the looming fear of failing finals had diminished, you still felt a weight on your shoulders.

“You don’t seem as relieved as I thought you’d be,” Renjun remarked lightheartedly. Even he could tell your mind was preoccupied with something else.

You smiled sheepishly, “No, I am! I seriously owe you for helping me out. I just…”

“Is it something to do with Chenle?” he asked, almost like he was a mind reader.

His unexpected question caught you off guard. “How did you know?” you stammered, feeling the heat quickly rise to your cheeks.

A knowing smile played on the boy’s lips as he leaned back in his seat. “Oh come on, (Y/n). You have that look on your face that something happened between the two of you.”

Sometimes you seriously wished Renjun wasn’t so good at reading people. Even though you weren’t as close to him as Chenle was, he’s known you long enough to notice things that others wouldn’t. For instance, when something was troubling you.

Biting your lip, you debated whether to be truthful with Renjun. Although you didn't typically share your problems with others, you recognized that confiding in someone at a time like this was necessary to maintain your sanity.

“Chenle kissed me last night,” you tossed the statement out in the air, hoping you wouldn’t regret it.

Renjun’s eyes widened at this revelation, “He did?!”

“Well you see, we’ve kissed before. But this time it felt different,” you clarified, baffling the boy across from you even more. Internally cringing, you were acutely aware of how bad this sounded.

Before he could question, you continued to elaborate. “Look, it's not as complicated as it sounds. It’s just ever since we agreed to be each other’s first kiss, Chenle and I just keep having these…accidental kisses. Whether it’s out of excitement or to get guys hitting on me to go away.”

Renjun listened quietly as you recounted all the other times you’ve kissed Chenle. When you circled back to the previous night, you felt more conflicted than ever.

“But the kiss last night left me feeling so confused,” you confessed, running a hand through your hair. “Initially, I thought he was just doing it out of comfort, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Well, have you considered the possibility that he has feelings for you?” Renjun inquired, crossing his arms. His suggestion sounded so simple, yet it felt like navigating uncharted territory in your mind.

You shook your head in denial. “N—No, I mean we’ve been best friends for five years. He can’t possibly see me that way.”

“Like that’s ever stopped friends from falling for each other,” Renjun cocked his head. “It doesn’t take a genius to know that he likes you, (Y/n).”

His point made you mentally curse. If you looked at your history with Chenle from an objective point of view, the two of you certainly didn’t act like normal best friends.

“And, it’s pretty obvious that you like him too,” Renjun added, twirling the pencil between his fingers.

His statement left you feeling exposed, as if you had been caught red-handed committing a crime. Laughing nervously, you shook your head, “Renjun, we’re just friends. I…I don’t see him that way.”

Renjun raised an eyebrow, “Friends who kiss? Did you really not feel anything in those moments?”

Your teeth sank further into your lower lip as Renjun’s question hit you. The reality of your feelings for Chenle lingered in the air, challenging the facade you had built to convince yourself otherwise. It was like trying to hold sand in your fists, slipping away no matter how tightly you clenched. The truth, however inconvenient, seemed to be unraveling before you.

“I…I did feel something,” you slowly admitted, “But I never said anything because I didn’t want our friendship to change. It just seemed easier to pretend those moments were nothing more than accidents.”

Renjun’s eyes softened with understanding. “Well maybe a little change is what you need in your friendship.”

Maybe Renjun was onto something, perhaps change was necessary. In the past, you had always held out on dating, using the excuse that you were waiting for the right person. Despite the fear of potential rejection, what if Chenle was the person you had been waiting for all along?

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Chenle’s living room bathed in the gentle glow of the TV screen, a familiar sight during your Friday movie nights since college began. It was supposed to be a time to unwind, to escape the pressures of school for a little while. However, instead of the usual peaceful and easygoing atmosphere, an unspoken tension hung in the air tonight. Beyond picking a movie and deciding who made the popcorn, you and Chenle barely talked. The weight of the unspoken words made the space feel suffocating, and you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled in your chest.

Unable to endure the weighty silence any longer, you turned your head to make a lame comment about the movie. However, before you could speak, Chenle beat you to it.

“Can we talk?” His voice carried a hint of restlessness, an unusual departure from his usual tone.

Trying to maintain a casual demeanor, you lightly nodded. With your acknowledgment, Chenle exhaled deeply and sat up straighter to face you properly.

“I know how crazy this might sound,” he started, running a hand through his hair. “But I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think we can stay friends.”

His words felt like a gun being pointed at your chest, panic surged within you as you tried to process the boy’s words. Of all the ways you predicted this conversation could go, this was not one of them.

“What do you mean?” you asked, your voice even smaller than his.

Noticing the perplexity in your eyes, Chenle continued. “You see, I've been in love with you for—I don’t know how long. But I spent all these years burying my feelings like a fool, because I never thought you’d see me that way. Yet, every time we kiss, it becomes harder for me to ignore my feelings for you.”

Chenle glanced down at his folded hands, vulnerability seeping into those brown orbs of his. “The other night made me realize that I don’t want to just be friends who kiss anymore. I want to be something more to you.”

His words lingered in the air now that they were out in the open. Your heart raced faster than it ever has before, as your cheeks flushed with heat. Chenle’s eyes bore into yours, his expression nervous yet hopeful. 

For a moment, you were left speechless. But you still had the sense to hit him on the shoulder, scolding, “Oh my gosh, you can’t start a conversation like that, Chenle. You scared me!”

The boy chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. But seriously, (Y/n), I meant what I said.”

A mix of emotions played on your face before you quietly admitted, “Honestly, I’ve wanted to be something more to you since that day we kissed in my bedroom.”

You noticed a smile of relief beginning to form on his lips, but you held up a finger before he could say anything. Now that he had taken the first step, you decided it was time for you to do the same.

“But I kept trying to convince myself that all the times we kissed were accidental or just for comfort,” you confessed, looking directly into his eyes. “And the reason I’ve been pushing away my feelings for you was because I was afraid of losing a friend who means the world to me.”

His hand rested on top of yours, the light touch sending a shiver down your spine. “You don’t have to be afraid because you’ll never lose me, (Y/n).”

The softness and sincerity in his eyes made you want to cry for some inexplicable reason. You once believed that confessing your feelings for Chenle would only lead to frustration and heartbreak. However, as you sat here with him, holding his hand, those worries seemed to vanish.

“So…what do we do now?” you asked, unsure of what was supposed to come next in these situations.

A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he grinned. “I think this is the part where we kiss. But you know, as boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Just as you were processing his words, he moved closer, his breath warm against your skin, making your heart flutter. His eyes searched yours for permission. 

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” you whispered.

With that, the distance between you closed, and your lips met in a tender kiss. It was a sweet surrender, a culmination of years of friendship and suppressed feelings. Although this wasn’t your first kiss with Chenle, it felt that way in a sense. For you could finally savor the tender feeling of his lips without questioning the intention behind it.

In that moment, all you focused on was the way Chenle had his hand on the small of your back, guiding you closer as he deepened the kiss. Your fingers found their way to rest on the nape of his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin. 

Although the change in this dynamic had just begun, this newfound connection promised countless moments of shared laughter, whispered confessions, and the sweet warmth of shared kisses. You had a feeling that you could easily get used to this beautiful new normal. By the way Chenle smiled during the kiss, you could tell he felt the same way.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

[maniacwatchestheworld]

When there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? Probably not John Constantine...?

I'm still pretty new to these DPxDC spaces, but as I've been exploring it from the perspective of someone currently deep in the throes of DC hyperfixation (and Danny Phantom being a past hyperfixation that I sometimes relapse into) one trend that I find kinda odd (but not necessarily unexpected) is just how prevalent Constantine is in these spaces that are largely dominated by BatFamily AUs and headcanons. Like, I do get it (kind of). Constantine does occasionally show up in Batman stories where Bruce encounters something supernatural and needs consulting on the case, and Constantine definitely appeals to the fandom audience in some pretty clear ways. Yeah, he's a handsome, charming bastard with a secret heart of gold. He's British, witty, cool, and an asshole. He may be one hell of a messy bisexual disaster, but he's OUR messy bisexual disaster, dammit! So we forgive him for being a cynical jerkass sometimes. I haven't consumed much media with him in it, but like... I get it and why out of all the mystical characters that DC has in their roster, why you might choose to include him over other characters. However I do find it kinda odd because like... Constantine is NOT the kind of person that I would see Batman nor anyone in his family particularly going for when they need help when something supernatural comes up... In fact the biggest reason that I haven't seen much from Constantine is that... He just does not appear in a lot of media that Batman is in! So I haven't seen much of him! (In terms of media that I've consumed for the sake of Batman being in it, he's only appeared in Justice League Action. No other animated series for Batman. And he hasn't really been in any recent comics that cross over with Batman that have caught my eye! He didn't even have a story in Knight Terrors!)

Of course there's no shame in using Constantine for your stories. He's popular for a reason, and if he happened to be in the area, then sure, the Bats might grab him to help them with their latest case. But for magic-users that the BatFamily might go to for assistance, he isn't always going to be the best choice. So for anyone who needs a magic-user in their BatPhanfiction, here are a few alternate suggestions.

(Suggestions under the cut for length)

Jason Blood

For people with magical expertise, I would expect the Bat Family to call Jason Blood before anyone else. Jason is old. How old? Old as balls. He's actually been around since the time of Arthurian legend. Apparently he was a scribe for Merlin before being bound to the immortal demon Etrigan which made him immortal too. Having worked for Merlin himself, having some level of innate magic from being bound and therefore sharing a body with a demon, and having been around for hundreds of years, this means that Jason has had plenty of ability and time to learn and practice magic and to perfect his craft. He knows his stuff and has a level of experience that is practically unparalleled on Earth. He's not a man to be trifled with and Batman has worked with him on many an occasion! The biggest reason that the BatFamily would call on him before anyone else? Location, location, location. Jason actually lives in Gotham City, so not only does he have the requisite experience and knowledge, but he's also easy for the BatFamily to get ahold of too! And as a bonus, with a simple rhyme, he can turn into the demon Etrigan who can kick ass on his behalf! Jason may seem to be a bit grumpy and stern on the outside, but he's a reliable ally to have and desires to protect others just as much as Bruce does.

Zatanna Zatara

Zatanna is a stage magician by trade, a master of tricks, illusion, and slight of hand... But she also happens to be among the most powerful actual magic-users in the known DC universe! Honestly, if you know of her and still choose to use Constantine over her in a story when either will do? You're doing yourself a bit of a disservice. Just look at her! She's gorgeous, radiant, optimistic, always has a fun trick up her sleeve, knows how to have a good time, and unlike Constantine, doesn't have the kinds nor number of enemies that he does! And best of all? She's actually buddies with Bruce Wayne! They're good friends! In fact, Bruce trained under her father for a time to learn escape artistry! Honestly it's a bit of a shame that people forget how good of friends they are... They might have dated in the past? But ever since Bruce mastered escape artistry, they've kept in touch! The two honestly would have an unspoken trust with each other and ability to rely on each other that few other characters could have with Bruce. Zatanna is usually on the road performing, but if she's available, she'd likely be more than happy to pop on over to Gotham to help Brucie out with a case! Superman may be Batman's best friend, and Harvey Dent may be Bruce Wayne's best friend... But honestly Zatanna Zatara is a close second place on both accounts! She's GREAT! I crave for her to be included in more stories! WHERE ARE MY AUNTIE ZATANNA AUs!???

Xanthe Zhou

[Image from this post.]

Honestly this is a personal suggestion that I want to see because it's just a damn shame that it doesn't already!

Are you hesitant to use a comic character with a huge backlog of stories that you couldn't possibly hope to get through for fear of messing them up? Do you want to use a canonically LGBT character? Do you want to use a character that's a person of color? What about a character that specializes in interacting with the spirits of the dead for your Danny Phantom crossover fics? Because boy howdy do I have you covered! Say hello to Xanthe Zhou! A nonbinary Chinese-American spirit envoy within the DC universe who first debuted in March of last year (2023)! So guess what! There is no long, confusing continuity to follow! If you want to catch up on all you need to know about them, go ahead and read their 6 issue miniseries Spirit World and you should be covered! And heeeey~ Guess who else is in Spirit World~~~?? One Cassandra Cain and one John Constantine! Plus the art is drop-dead gorgeous!

[Image from this post.]

So please! I beseech you! Check out Spirit World and get to know Xanthe! They are literally everything you are looking for in a character to add to your Danny Phantom and Batman crossover story and are brand-spanking new and it is just a DAMN shame that they aren't already in any DPxDC stories!!! And guess what! They live in Gotham City to boot! (Gotham's Chinatown to be specific.) So please! Do yourself a favor and check out Spirit World and add Xanthe to your stories! If nothing else, I'll certainly read them!

In any case, that's the list and all I can come up with for now! If you have any further suggestions, please don't be afraid to add them on in a reblog! My comics knowledge is very limited and am always happy to hear about other ideas and characters that I've missed! I've actually seen some usage of Klarion the Witch Boy in this phandom which was a pleasant surprise! But sadly, I don't know nearly enough about him to actually say anything about him. But please! Go ahead and tell me about other magic using characters that you think would be suited to the DPxDC universe! And if you make anything of this sort with Xanthe in it... Please send it to me! I want that shit pumped directly into my veins!!!

P.S. I just wanted to say... Batman miiiiight call Santa Claus before he calls Constantine for help on an investigation lol (apparently Bruce apprenticed under Santa for a time :p ).

[theladycarpathia]

So @arisque has heard a LOT about my Buffy AU and while I haven't started a full fic yet, @hellcheerweek spooky prompts was the perfect chance for me to explore the universe a little bit.

Day 1 - Vampire

She’d said she was going to spend the night at Tina’s. 

This isn’t technically a lie. 

The music is so loud that Chrissy can’t hear anyone else unless they shout to her, can’t even hear herself think…which is the way she likes it. All she has to do is dance, lost in a sea of people, and get swept away by the beat. 

Tina’s parents had made the grave error of leaving town and not calling in Tina’s aunt to keep an eye on her. The invite had been extended to anyone willing to come out to Loch Nora on Friday night, which apparently is most of the school.

Chrissy hadn’t taken a whole lot of persuading. She’d made the cheerleading team, but even that hadn’t made her mom happy. Sometimes Chrissy thinks Laura would be happier if she could break Chrissy down into parts, lay out each segment on a table, and twist and carve it down to the daughter she really wants. Sometimes Chrissy thinks she seems to be trying anyway. 

“I’m going to get a drink!” she shouts, gesturing to the kitchen. No one really acknowledges her except for Tina who just nods in return. Carol and Tommy disappeared half an hour ago and Chrissy’s pretty certain that they’re continuing the grand tradition of having sex on other peoples’ beds. 

She pushes her way through the crowds of bodies, narrowly avoiding being elbowed in the head, and slips into the kitchen. The usual punch bowl is there, and she’s already figured out to avoid it. But she has the advantage of knowing where Tina’s family keep their spare sodas. 

She ducks out of the back door, grateful for the cool air. Inside her skin had grown hot and slightly tacky, even in her little dress. The garage door is locked, but Chrissy easily finds the key, hidden on top of the door frame. 

It’s still not completely quiet out here but at least she’s alone. The spare fridge hums quietly along the far wall, next to Mr Cline’s tools and hedge trimmer. Chrissy tugs open the door and grabs for a can of lemonade, the can blissfully cool. She’s drained almost half of it the second she’s cracked the tab.

From here she can still hear the music, and she wonders how the cops haven’t been called yet. But the Morrisons on the other side are elderly and might not notice the music so easily. And the local police usually let a party slide, unless they get numerous complaints. 

She should go back in. She should let Jason dance with her, because he’s made it clear that he’s impatient being kept at arm’s length. It was fine to be linked together in middle school, to have a partner for school dances but now it feels serious. She doesn’t want to be like her mom - marrying her high school boyfriend, because it’s the only option, and letting the cage she chose make her more bitter and miserable with every passing year. 

But when she emerges back outside, the September breeze lifting the curls around her shoulders, something catches her eye.

Chrissy stops. She just saw someone move inside the Morrisons’ front room. 

The Morrisons have lived next to Tina for years. Mrs Morrison bakes oatmeal cookies and always encourages Chrissy to have another. Mr Morrison used to let them come over to use his grandson’s trampoline, until they got too old. Chrissy knows that the figure - young, slim, dark-haired - isn’t either one of the Morrisons. 

It might be their son. But she’s met him, and he’s a man in his forties, with graying hair and wire-rimmed glasses. This isn’t him. 

Something uncomfortable churns in her belly. Maybe there’s another reason why the Morrisons haven’t reported the party to the police. 

She takes a look back at the house behind her. It’s filled with people and she should go get anyone of them to accompany her. Jason maybe, or Patrick. Even Tina would come with her, if she went back and asked. 

But she doesn’t go back and ask. She strides down Tina’s drive and hops across the Morrisons lawn. Their drive is empty, Mr Morrison’s prized corvette tucked away in the garage. There’s a Beemer further down the street, something expensive and new, and she wonders if it belongs to someone at the party, who didn’t want to risk their car getting scratched. 

The house is dark when she reaches the front door, which worries her further still. Surely they can’t be asleep with the noise next door? Maybe their hearing is that bad, or Mr Morrison misplaced his hearing aid again. 

But she knocks on the door anyway, pounding loudly to be heard. 

“Mr Morrison?” she calls. She feels slightly sick - she’s either about to disturb an old couple or there’s something seriously wrong here. “Mrs Morrison? It’s Chrissy Cunningham. I’m a friend of Tina’s?”

But there’s no answer. She peers around to look in the front windows and it occurs to her now that all of the curtains are open. She looks up to be sure and every single one is wide open. 

Why would they leave all of their curtains open? Every other house on the street, save Tina’s, has them closed. And every other house has some form of lights on, a lamp, a porch-light, something. 

Unless someone didn’t want to risk being seen under bright lights. Like the person that Chrissy saw inside the house. 

Chrissy takes a shaky step back, her legs suddenly threatening to give way. The feeling in her body is now screaming at her, telling her that every part of this is wrong. She needs to go back to Tina’s house to use the phone. 

But before she can, there’s a sharp pain in her head, like someone has dug their fingers deep into her scalp. She shrieks and stumbles, her ankle giving way beneath her so that she lands on the grass. But none of that matters, because what she sees in front of her eyes isn’t the clouded night sky, or the quiet mausoleum of the Morrisons house. 

And when it ebbs away she’s left panting, lying on her back on the front lawn. And for a second she wonders if she’s going mad, because she saw, crystal clear, two people breaking into the Morrisons’ back door. It was like she’d been there - she heard the lock break, just audible underneath the sound of the wind chimes. She saw one of them move around, quietly turning off lights. She saw both of them slipping upstairs, barely making a sound on the steps. 

Chrissy pushes herself up on one elbow, even though this makes her head scream in agony. It’s almost tempting to lie back down, let her limbs sink into the coolness of the grass, but unless she’s crazy, someone really did break in. 

If she’d had any of the punch, she might be more willing to believe she was seeing things. But she is painfully sober and has no such luxury. 

She stumbles to her feet, wobbling on shaking legs. She doesn’t know how she saw it or why, just that it has a cost. She’s in no shape to help anyone but she has to try. 

“Mr Morrison!” she shouts, and pounds her open palm on the door. She knows she’s not going to get an answer but she doesn’t know what else to do. 

The dark shape that appears in the window next to her doesn’t even really look human.His face is twisted, with hard ridges across his nose and forehead, mouth slightly too wide like it was made to fit extra teeth. His eyes are the worst, gleaming bright yellow, like something from one of her brother’s video games. 

Chrissy freezes - she can’t help it. Perhaps for the first time she understands what it’s like to be prey, fixed on the spot under the gaze of something hungry. She’s made a mistake by catching his attention. 

Then he vanishes from the window and Chrissy jerks, as though she’s been released from a spell. She only has a second before panic sets in - he saw her. He saw her face. Even if she runs back to the party, it’s not like she can go anywhere. No one is in a fit state to drive her home. 

But the door opens and the face she sees there isn’t the one she expects. 

“Get in!” the school librarian hisses at her, holding out a hand urgently. Chrissy doesn’t move because something about this man has always given her the creeps. She avoids the school library as much as possible, preferring the large public one in town. Something about the dark stacks, the unusual leather-bound books he keeps behind the counter, even the dusty old suits he wears, all make her hair stand on end. And now he’s here, in the darkened doorway of her friends’ neighbors, at the same time as someone - something - terrifying.

“Hurry up!” he snaps and Chrissy moves forward, perhaps against her better judgment, into the stillness of the house. 

Or maybe not that still. 

The front room is still occupied by that man but a young woman has now joined him. Chrissy only has a moment to stare before Mr Bauman pulls her back, tucking her behind the banister of the stairs. There are two other figures there too, young and lanky, but they don’t hold her attention as much as the fight in the front room. 

She knows this girl. They go to school together. She’s wearing combat boots, a sturdy jacket, and she ducks and dodges as the man tries to hit her. She’s fast on her feet, avoiding every swipe of his long, jagged nails. He tries to lunge for her, and misses, and she takes the opportunity to lash out. Her arm strikes, deadly and precise, driving a thick stake into the center of his chest. Chrissy stifles a shriek but his face only shows brief surprise before he fades into dust. 

“Good shot,” Mr Bauman comments, as the girl brushes dust off her arm. She only looks vaguely annoyed, as though men turning to pieces of ash flaking gently on the Morrisons’ carpet is an everyday occurrence. “Even with the unexpected…interruptions.”

All too late, Chrissy realizes that he’s looking at her. 

“They’re all too cocky,” the girl complains, nudging at the pile of dust with her toe. “Do we need to clean this up?”

“Is that part of our job now?” one of the boys asks, and when he moves out of the darkness behind the banister, Chrissy gets a better look at his face. She knows him too - it’s Jonathan Byers, from the school paper. “Cleaning up afterwards?”

“No, it is not,” Mr Bauman says, tensely. “We’ll let Hopper know…I’ll leave a message with the usual code. The better question is, why is a cheerleader here?”

“There’s a party next door,” another voice says, the final occupant. Chrissy doesn’t ask why two boys and a grown man were hiding behind the stairs, while a fifteen year old girl fights. They’re all carrying the same weapons, a heavy stake, sharpened to a point, except for the boy in front of her, who has a bat hanging from his fingers. It takes her a second to realize that her eyes aren’t tricking her, but the odd shape of the wood is from dozens of nails being driven into the end. “Tina’s thing.”

As if this night couldn’t get any weirder - Steve Harrington, King Steve, is staring at her like she doesn’t belong here. 

“What just happened?” Chrissy asks and is a little surprised at how faint her voice sounds. Maybe the strange visions took that too. The four all look at each other and in that moment, Chrissy realizes a few things. That none of this is unusual for them, and that despite their various differences, they’re here working together. 

“That,” the girl says, pointing down at the floor. “Was a vampire. We’ve been tracking him for a while. We were pretty sure that someone was working Loch Nora. Too many break ins lately. So I staked him.”

“Robin!” Mr Bauman says, looking put out. And a vague memory pushes itself to the front of Chrissy’s head. The Hawkins High band, in fresh green outfits and white gloves, a sea of faces…or perhaps not. Because the girl staring back at Chrissy, her gaze cool, is one of those people that she’s seen out of the corner of her eye on so many mornings. 

“She just saw it,” Robin protests. “It’s not like we can hide it!”

“A little discretion might be advised,” Mr Bauman continues, looking tired. Chrissy kind of can’t blame him. She’s been involved in this mess for five minutes and she’s already exhausted. “It’ll do us no good if your position as the Slayer is revealed to the world by the school paper!”

“Chrissy’s okay,” Steve offers, thumping his bat against one of the mahogany side tables. “She won’t tell.”

“And we wouldn’t publish that anyway!” Jonathan says indignantly. Chrissy doesn’t stop to ask for any further detail - what is a Slayer anyway? - because she’s busy looking around. The rest of the house is quiet, no creaking of footsteps overhead. 

“Where’s the other one?” she asks and is met by four very startled faces. 

“What other one?” Steve asks, tilting his head.

“The other one,” Chrissy says and wraps her arms around herself. They’re all dressed sensibly, thick material prepared for the warmth and any oncoming attacks but she’s wearing a little black dress that brushes her thighs. “I saw…” she trails off, because she didn’t really see, did she? She never went around the back of the house. 

Mr Bauman is looking at her with a strange expression. “And where exactly,” he inquires carefully. “Did you see that?”

“I don’t know,” Chrissy says weakly. “I was at the party and I noticed it was all dark over here. I knocked on the door and there was no answer.”

“Did you see two people?” Mr Bauman pushes. Chrissy licks her lips. She’s going to sound crazy…but what if she’s not? What if there really are two and there’s another vampire roaming free? There’s a party of kids next door, all too high on music and alcohol to be anything other than easy pickings.

“I saw two people come in the back door,” she says hesitantly. “They turned off all the lights and went upstairs…I can’t explain how I saw it but I swear, I-” Mr Bauman holds up a hand. There’s something oddly delighted about his face and she’s not sure she likes the satisfaction there. 

“How interesting,” he says and moves across to her. “I thought your eyes looked a little bloodshot but I just thought that was from the party…does your head hurt? Eyes feel sensitive? Do you feel weak and disoriented?”

“What the fuck, Murray?” Steve asks, stalking across to where Murray is peering into Chrissy’s eyes. “Can we not dissect her?” But Murray has already taken a step back, looking triumphant. 

“She’s a seer,” he says and Robin guffaws. 

“She can’t be,” she says, looking back at Chrissy in disbelief. “She’s a cheerleader. I thought you said true seers are really rare…”

“Is it so hard to believe in Hawkins?” Mr Bauman asks, tucking his stake into his pocket. “She has all the signs. I don’t believe she went around the back of the house - chances are we would have seen her as we came in that way ourselves. And I doubt she was here much longer than a few minutes or the vampire would have found her sooner. So how did she see two vampires? And she has all the symptoms. It’s not an easy thing, receiving a vision. Excruciatingly painful, I’ve heard…and you definitely saw more than one?”

“There’s two,” Chrissy says, looking around at each skeptical face. She’s worried that they won’t believe her but they also just staked a vampire, so she finds that a touch unfair. “I saw two.” Ha! Like I said!

“I fucking told you,” Steve says, sounding disgruntled. He sweeps his hair back from his face, a motion Chrissy must have seen hundreds of times. Normally he does it carefully, aimed at whatever girl has taken his fancy, but this is brisk, efficient. 

“Well, sorr-ee,” Robin snaps back tensely. “I wasn’t expecting vampires to get a taste for rich people.”

“They’re vampires!” Steve says back incredulously, throwing out his arms. “They’re not picky!”

“Alright, children,” Mr Bauman snaps, effectively cutting off the argument. “That’s enough. We have bigger problems afoot here.”

Something about his tone is unsettling. She’s not sure what he’s doing here, like he’s leading three teenagers into battle. She gathers that Robin is something special, but the rest of the dynamics she hasn’t quite worked out yet. The loner, the misfit, and the jock, all here under the lead of the school librarian. 

“I think she’s right,” Mr Bauman says, gesturing to Chrissy with the end of his stake. “It doesn't make sense otherwise. There would have been noise, some screaming. It wouldn’t be possible unless there were two.”

“Two for what?” Chrissy asks suspiciously and the room goes very quiet. Jonathan will no longer meet her eyes. Even Steve looks uncomfortable, an unhappy twist to his mouth. She takes off up the stairs before any of them can stop her, adrenaline pushing her legs to move faster than they ever have done before. 

The terrible feeling earlier now made sense. 

The Morrisons had gone to bed. They’re lying silently, side by side, Mr Morrison in pinstripes, Mrs Morrison in a flowered nightdress. They’re on their backs, faces still and peaceful like they hadn’t even known that they had died. 

It was only the neat holes pierced in their necks, each one wearing a matching pair, blood beginning to dry and crust on their skin that gave away the truth. 

The only consolation is that the music will ensure no one else hears her scream.

[taeloke]

Overanalyzing 4KOTA Chapter 142 instead of just waiting for more info (2/2)

Part 1

This is the part where I talk about King and no one else. Also, this is more ramble than analysis by the end, and I'm making myself not worry about length this time, so...you have been warned :) As for Mertyl, I'll definitely talk about him again over the next chapter, though I might not say as much as I did the first time.

Firstly, look at this face. Remember all those seasons ago, when everything was peaceful for like a single week? How sweet and thoughtful this little guy was, especially against his own personal wishes?

This is King--regardless of how he's like on the outside.

Elaine herself described him as someone who tries to act tough but is really a crybaby. He's someone who can't seem to stop wearing his heart on his sleeve. He always tries to hide his feelings to keep everyone else from worrying, but try as he might, anyone will see through his "tough act" if they're around him for long enough. Awakened or not, he's not King if he's not a highly emotional character like that. He's just a lot better at putting a cover over those feelings now. He's grown up for real.

If you read these last few 4KOTA chapters without remembering the original Seven Deadly Sins story, it only makes sense to look at him more like an ass of a father right now. There's a lot to his perspective that we just haven't gotten to witness yet, and one of the easiest conclusions to make from all of that unknown space is "King loves Nasiens more than the adopted son he raised." For crying out loud, he's giving an immensely scarce cure-all to a young man who introduced himself as a human without an explanation for why Myrtel hasn't received it yet. We don't even know for sure if he's tried using the Drug of Yore to treat Myrtel's condition in the past right now.

There's just one problem about that conclusion: King isn't like that at all. It only looks like he is because this family drama is fatally poisoned with tension and misunderstandings at this point. It's starting to explode.

Remember how way back in the series, King first thought Diane without her memories of him would be better off without him at all?

I think that's a lot similar to what he's thinking with Nasiens right now. If King didn't play a part in their present happiness, then what right does he have to want their love? He'd label that as too greedy or selfish in a way that he can't allow himself to be. He thinks he knows his place, and that place is somewhere forever distanced from his first-born kid.

But he can't just do nothing for Nasiens. Maybe just one totally subtle yet significant expression of love can slide, right? What could he, seemingly as nothing more than a ruler, possibly give to Nasiens to make him happy? Maybe if he gives Nasiens just one perfect gift, Harlequin will feel like he was good for his son at least once. He'll feel like he's finally atoned for losing Nasiens for too long and failing him as a father, and then he can let that "sin" go. Surely, Nasiens wouldn't be happy knowing the truth anyway. He'll be better off never learning about his true relations, since he's built his life without it already. Assuming that "logic" is what King's going through, a lot of his actions make sense to me.

And yet he still almost slipped up and spilled the beans.

Nice save, King, but if you gave Nasiens more time to think he would have realized what you really meant. Tioreh gave him time to realize she believed he's a fairy and his initial freeze then was the exact same.

None of this is easy for King. It isn't easy for any of them. In some ways, those past 2 years must have felt like forever to him. Precious time to have his first-born kid around that he'll never get back. And after 2 years of keeping distance...

"Sorry, I couldn't help but follow you."

"I just wanted to help you out, in any way I could."

King can't keep his distance anymore. His true feelings are starting to break free.

"Hee hee... Don't be shy, now. I just want to be of assistance."

Sure, King. Saying it like that totally doesn't make it sound like there's more to this, even with your confident/amused chuckle.

Of all the gifts he could give Nasiens, I'm sure King believed this was the one thing Nasiens couldn't refuse to accept from him. A powerful healing drug that he advertised as one-of-a-kind and a once-in-a-millennium opportunity. With it presented not only as that, but also as something that might bring Percival back, how could Nasiens reject such a gift? Right?

...And then Nasiens rejects the gift. Immediately, King gets so nervous that he breaks character.

He immediately started sweating too. King prepared everything up to this moment, and he has no excuse as Nasiens questions him and calls him out.

And Nasiens is right to call him out because of how this looks.

Nasiens, just like us, doesn't yet know what the truth here is. He's right to be suspicious and King needs to realize that plans in how the changeling duo is handled need to change right now. Ready or not--telling the truth is the only way to save what's actively starting to cave in.

But the sad thing is...I have a feeling that it's too late already.

Things are only going to get worse from here... I don't know how, and in a way that makes this feel more awful.

Sixtus should tell King that Mertyl saw him offer the Drug of Yore to Nasiens. There's no doubt in my mind that King will realize the problem once he has that information and try to do whatever he can to make things right. PLEASE don't make him too late again. At least give him a chance to talk to Mertyl before things fall apart if that's where all of this is headed.

[oflights]

I just found Glory today and I love it so so much I’m obsessed!!!! I’ve always found that the authors I love the most also have excellent taste so do you have any bloodweave recs for me to devour while I pine away for a new chapter?

hi! ahh i'm so happy to hear this! thank you so much, i'm incredibly pleased you're enjoying Glory. 💕

recs!!! i definitely have recs *cracks knuckles*

disclaimer: a lot of these are bookmarked from when i was still shy and just reading and getting into this pairing on my own and very New (though i am still very New, to be fair) and basically i need to get better about commenting lol. but i rec these wholeheartedly! and also obviously these are just my opinions, i am still reading lots but haven't read everything.

these are all complete; i might do a separate post with wips i'm following if there's any interest!

in absolutely no order, and below the read more for length:

The Fourth Ring by Vamillepudding; this is the first fic i immediately sent to all of my friends and forced them to read because i loved it so much. inspirational, hilarious, beautiful. no tadpoles AU, my beloved

We're Here and It's Now by houseofthestars; one of my favorite bloodweave authors, i recommend basically all of houseofthestars' fics but this one is a fave. mind the tags/kinks but ahhhh. this is also my absolute favorite descriptions of a beautiful post-game underdark life for them, it's so perfect. one of my favorite gale voices, too, he is everything to me

Might Just Make It by lavvyan; another favorite author of mine!! this is an absolutely adorable and heart-wrenching little AU that was one of my major "oh" moments for these two. love it

Corner of Sail Street and Sea Lion by lavvyan; again, lavvyan, truly a fave!! this is such a fun, frantic post-game fic where astarion races to waterdeep to rescue gale from a calamity. i simply love when astarion is forced to confront the fact that he cares UGH like he's kicking and screaming and stamping his feet about it but he cares, damn it! it's so good

Weakness Coming On by bloodweaving; one of my fave in-game fics; it's just so incredibly plausible and hilarious. astarion absolutely tortures gale in this because he just cannot deal with how much he likes him and that is just. yes exactly perfect, no notes

you might love me to death by tuffgreg; this in-game dynamic is incredible and complex and delicious. amazing use of the act 2 backdrop, aka my favorite act.

Dysfunction by nematode; god i could read 100k more words of this version of them! the exploration of these sex dynamics is sooo good. they are just perfect here, i adore this fic.

embracing the sun by vannral; reccing all of vannral's bw fics but this one has my heart. it's gorgeous and funny and so sweet. also shadowheart is my secret second fave companion and the use of her in vannral's fics is always wonderful.

if my heart stops beating, we'll bleed the same way by AgentBuzzkill; angsty hurt gale is an obvious fave of mine but the astarion in this fic is who really kills me; i have so many feelings about him immediately post-cazador and the weight of what he has to deal with, and this makes it so much heavier

Bliss and Ignorance by ultranerdyandiknowit; i'm still drafting a comment for this fic because i love it so much. heed the warnings and tags but please give this one a read. it's gorgeous and heartbreaking and the miscommunication just makes so much sense. again, act 2 is my favorite part of the game and this leans into act 2 gale so well and i love it so much

wow okay i will be shutting up now 🙈

[llorom4nn1c]

♡ Scemo clothing haul! ♡

A couple of weeks ago, I got to order some stuff from Hot Topic, so I thought I'd do a bit of a haul and show you guys some of the things I got! I took all of the pictures for this post so some of them might look kind of weird since I'm not great at taking photos but I tried my best.

🎀 Accessories

I got a pair of fishnet gloves, skeleton gloves, leg warmers, and a black and pink studded belt. I'm really happy with all of these, especially the fishnet gloves since I've been wanting a pair for the longest time and I've been wearing them almost every day since I got them. I'm also really glad to finally have a pink studded belt for my pink outfits!

🎀 Hole Pretty on the Inside shirt dress

This is actually my first piece of Hole merchandise which I'm really happy about because I've been listening to them since I was like nine. I also really love these sort of oversized dress length shirts because they're great for when I want to go for a more grungy look. These types of shirts styled with a cute necklace, a flannel, boots, and some over-the-knee socks just makes for a great outfit.

🎀 Leopard print skort

For a short period during the summer of last year, I was pretty into the rockstar's girlfriend aesthetic and one of the staples of that aesthetic was leopard print, so I got a leopard print skort. I don't have many skirts that aren't black, so this is a pretty different addition to my wardrobe.

🎀 Monster High hoodie

This was one of the items that I was most excited about since I really love Monster High. I haven't really had a chance to wear it yet, but I definitely will soon because I really love it.

🎀 Ruby Gloom crop top

I've been watching a lot of Ruby Gloom recently, so when I found out that Hot Topic carried some Ruby merch, I just had to get something. The shirt's so cute and I especially love the sleeves because black and red stripes remind me of the mall goth aesthetic. This is definitely one of my new favourite shirts!

🎀 Misfits shirt

I already had a Misfits shirt, but I didn't have any of their shirts that have the Crimson Ghost on them. Plus Johnnie has this shirt so of course I had to get it. It also goes great with the skeleton gloves.

🎀 Skull tutu skirt

The main reason I got this was actually because it reminded me of that one skull outfit Eugenia used to wear a lot. I also don't have too many gothic clothing items so I wanted to get some. Plus this skirt styled with a pair of fishnet tights, the Misfits shirt, and skeleton gloves would just be so perfect.

That's it, byeeeee!! ˚｡⋆୨୧˚♡

[cynthiav06]

In which scenes do you think they should have given Klaus and Hayley a kissing scene?

Let's say we disregard the entirety of season 1, let the whole Elijah thing blow over.

Firstly, in season 2, when Klaus is consoling her after explaining the realities of being a hybrid, in the real moments are vibrant scene or even when he takes her out to kill witches, they could have given us a forehead touch in the for the former and a kiss for the latter part.[Both consumed by bloodlust mostly Hayley as Klaus can control it, she accidentally(definitely intentionally while acting on her true desires) kisses Klaus and he is so enamored he can't help but reciprocate.

I trust you, more than you know scene should have definitely evolved into a kiss. Klaus can't help the jealousy and the feeling of fear that arises at the thought of her marrying Jackson (yes, yes, he is also worried about Hope's existence being revealed, but there's obviously more) and after hearing Hayley's words he wants to convey to her that he does trust her and care for her so yeah a kiss there for sure.

In season 3, Hayley turns back and is fighting Klaus but breaks down after seeing Hope and then hugs her? I think that scene should have also had Klaus hugging them both, maybe to symbolise his apology or other but not a kiss, but at least a hug.

After he saves her from Lucien, we really need a scene where he hugs her, and then she kisses him because she needs to feel that he is real and they are both alright. Klaus kisses her back equally fervently to assure her that she is safe as she is both afraid for Klaus's life and her own so he can feel her fear and relief now that Lucien's dead. That should have definitely been added. (So many missed opportunities for the building up to probably the most compatible and perfect couple you would think they didn't do it just to not brutally destroy the previous Klaus or Hayley ships. Oh shit that's exactly why)

When they are alone in the wood clearing, and he says, "I have given you a thousand reasons to abandon me, but you haven't yet, thank you?" A kiss would have gone really well with that.

Maybe a scene where Hayley shows off her karaoke skills, and Klaus is so amazed he kisses her? That would have been perfect.

When he goes to Marcel to sacrifice himself for Hope, Hayley and his family, a parting kiss

When Klaus, Hayley and Hope unite and Klaus and Hayley see each other's struggles they can't help but kiss because Hayley has missed Klaus's presence, his words, his protection and Klaus has missed his little wolf and littlest wolf dearly, moreover Klaus can't help but marvel at her strength each time for whenever he thinks this might just break my little wolf she perseveres through it and he has been wanting to kiss her since they last parted and as she was one of the few who broke him out the want only doubled.

A lots of kisses during that time cause two people don't go to such lengths for each other if they don't love one another like crazy.

When he has to leave with the hollow's essence, a sorrowful but desperate kiss. Yet again, parting ways and this just might be permanent.

I like to think Hayley gave him individual visits to check on him when Hope was grown enough and was in school and they kissed and everything.

Lastly when Klaus saves her from Greta, the Hollow's defeated and its all good for the rest of them, after Hope's taken back, passionate kissing and make out scene that results into another miracle baby is exactly what we deserved. [This is what I believe would have actually happened if the writers weren't bloody fools and also so I don't wallow in misery at the unfairness of it all for both of them]

[erenmusic]

The Best Album you have never heard, Bluffers Guide to the Flight Deck by Flotation Toy Warning.

This album was introduced to me by my brother around 2017 and I still listen to it every now and then. I still haven't met someone else that listened to this in real life, however now that I checked online there are a small number of opinions and reviews out about it. but not enough methinks.

The Pitchfork Article on the album gives it an okay score and I like the way they describe most the songs and where the band gets their influence from, but I feel like they don't really dive into it and appreciate the sound of it as much as I would like them to. so lets talk about it! The album starts off with the song Happy 13 which shows us the dreamy sound of this album right from the start. I really enjoy the vocals and the violins at the start which set the tone and then around 30 seconds in this synth mixed with another 10 instruments and samples just comes in blasting,

the sound and voices take you on a journey and it honestly feels like you are flying right into this album. Its a great 4 minute song that really sets the tone, if you don't like this song, I don't think you will like the rest of the album.

The album goes on to the next song which is Popstar Researching Oblivion. This song has a very nice background beat going, it sounds fun and energetic but the lyrics are so concerningly depressing it makes me think how good it was for me to listen to this when I was in middle school lol. Here is my favorite part of the song, you can just hear the creativity its amazing, the horns and the blinking sounds work so well and man, the vocals are they great.

The next song which is Losing California for Drusky, really keeps the feeling of the album going, it starts off with the classic weird lyrics and amazing instrumentals and just these different noises that you just don't hear in other music. I don't even know how to explain it. This part below might help with what I mean.

also the song switches the riff and beat around 5 minutes in and it turns into a much calmer song with almost Opera like vocals and a very light guitar riff with just these long humming synths, Please if you check this song out listen to the last half as well.

After that adventure we get to the very short and fun song Made from Tiny Boxes, which has some of my favorite bits from the whole album in it, the Lyrics are fun and the instrumental in the back is very nice and mellow and it just leads perfectly into the next song which in my opinion is a highlight of the album.

When I was looking up reviews for this album I noticed one that doesn't have the same take as I do for this next song, Donald Pleasence. The complaint the review I found said that It got old quickly and that it was too long of a song which I can understand but still I think this song even with its length does more than enough to deliver.

The song starts slowly but really heats up eventually ending with Horns and then the ending Lyrics which really give the album its kick I think. This song I would say is depressing and is very obviously about Heartache. Very well done and emotional song that in my opinion doesn't get stale.

This song then ties into the 2 parter of Fire engine on Fire. The First part starts out with some interesting vocals that echo the lyrics to come, (Big Piig, Baad Dog)

it goes for a bit with a low guitar riff and vocals but eventually the song switches up and becomes a completely different tune. a very light synth starts in the background and all the instruments slowly build on it and the whole thing turns into this perfect slow build of strings violins, keyboards and all the other noises they come up with working together. The clip I put up there and the couple minutes after it are some of my favorite parts of the whole album. The next part has a lot less lyrics but the instrumental makes up for it because the experimentation and just overall creative sound on this song really proves where this album can go.

The second half of the song slows down considerably and even has points where it goes completely silent, until right at the last minute another riff starts and a light whistle is sung over the light guitar and drums its very calming and melancholic, the whole album is.

The next song Even Fantastica is a long track that a repetitive slow guitar riff, I could see why people don't really love this one but I like it a lot. I usually hate repetitive songs but this one really calms me down and the lyrics do hit hard for me. Also the riff is just very well made and the background sounds still make the song interesting to me.

I like the distorted vocals in this bit and the dreamy background layering of 3-4 different riffs along with how the guitar eventually leads into a faux-solo that gets cut off with another round of lyrics. It just works and I really enjoy this song, I can understand why people would call it boring though.

The next song is almost like an intermission before the ending, it sounds like someone calling out of a void trying to get someone to hear him, but its just not working. Saying hello over and over and not getting an answer. It is a great lead in to the Final Song.

The Final song How the Plains Left me Flat starts out with a layered with some very weird keyboard sounds right before distorted vocals come in and jumpstart the song.

The Lyrics are followed by a guitar that really complements the flow of the vocals. I really enjoy the way he says Sunday Paper his tone of voice is perfect. after about 4 minutes of bliss in your ears you are met with a blank slate, for almost 10 minutes there is not a chirp except a small piece of noise around 9 minutes in. Whenever I relisten to this album I usually skip the ambient part honestly and I don't get why they did it in the first place BUT, just because they made a weird creative decision on the last song I wont fault them, the rest of the album is amazing.

So to wrap it up. I think its a great album from start to finish, I know a lot of people will call it boring and pretentious(Which I can see honestly) and I know it has a nostalgia factor for me, But I still think its one of my favorite things to listen to when I am in need of something familiar. I hope this will get others to at least give a chance to this album especially if you are into experimental indie stuff.

[dinoburger]

I feel a little bit vindicated in my unease towards some of the so called activist groups too after dipping my toes into a few organisations - there's definitely those who are looking for opportunities to sell politics back to you rather than actively invest time to the causes they claim to support

that's not to say you should always be cynical or that you need to find a perfect island of group politics, I found some of the organisations that outwardly seemed meandering and unkempt had stronger overall tactics and insight into local government, as opposed to others that maintain an "active" face but spend a lot of time spinning their wheels without going anywhere.

I find my preferred organisations do reach out to involve other groups too, rather than acting as insular cults of personality.

I think of them as "recruiters", much in the way of religious organisations or bogus charities. They tend to read off a script, seem hard pressed to sell you something (expensive conference tickets or a subscription of some kind) and apart from doing a lot of talking and trying to make their presence known, don't really seem that engaged to whatever issue they claim to represent, as much as a more nebulous idea of an ideology.

In retrospect it feels even more uncomfortable to realise, the uni student who needled me about if being queer impacts my support for the working class was using a tactic we usually see on the far right:

getting someone impassioned by making them argue, then bringing them into the fold as an outlet.

They like to get you talking, but not about any particular next steps, just more broad discussion they can use to sell you on themselves.

That being said, I have the luxury to be choosey because I both have time and access to engage a variety of people. I don't think everyone involved in these recruiter groups means harm, it might be all they have access to, in which case using the space and resources available is more important.

I'm also not going to completely write off the merit of having folks out there willing to do the hard sell to those who haven't been exposed to Marx and socialism and all the rest before.

Personally, I will say that being preached to at length with the intent to drain my wallet, sitting there thinking "isn't there something better we could be doing right now?" as my only exposure, didn't exactly inspire me to become more active or engaged.

This is exactly what is meant by the insistence that your best bet is to look to those most involved, indigenous lead groups for indigenous causes, Arab lead groups for Arab causes, queer lead groups for queer causes and groups that are expansive and diverse for bigger causes - you might actually find people with strong ideas of where we need to push next.

I don't think we should entirely discount anyone willing to step forward and speak out, but we should be wary that something being branded as "activist" doesn't strictly make it so in any situation. It's not a matter of waiting to be told what we need to do but seeking ourselves where we could be most effective.

It makes me a little sad to think these younger people might've felt stuck in the same way, but were convinced to stay with one group and become recruiters rather than exploring their options.

[shadowkat678]

For someone who’s talked so much about the value of hope, I don’t think I’ve been doing much to show that I believe it. Saying, maybe, but not doing. Not really.

I wish I could claim that it’s just been a hard time lately, but that’d be downplaying the length of it. Two years ago I wrote an essay on the concept of Hopepunk by Alexandria Rowland. I wrote that I’d been clinging to the concept like a life raft, but I’m not sure if that’s true. Clinging is active. Drifting might be more apt. Passively draped around it while screaming at others to hold on. I didn’t have the energy myself.

My family likes to tell the story about how I learned to swim, in Florida at my great grandmother’s pool. I was four years old. Stubborn even then, they’d say. Smug, even.

We had a rule like responsible families do that kids had to wear water wings, but I’d been wearing them. The whole trip I’d been wearing them, and I was doing fine. In fact, they were slowing me down. So, I decided I was going to show off, called out for my great gran and mom to watch, tore off the wings, and ran straight for the deep end of the pool.

I don’t remember much after, but I remember somehow making it to the other side of the pool, my mother worried and scolding me as she pulled me out, and my great grandma laughing. The story always ends with my mother mimicking me, saying, “I told you I could” like the smart mouthed child I was. But I also remember the fear before that. The flashes of my head bobbing below the water. Of the glass roof surrounding the pool room above as I tried to orient myself.

Two years ago, after just learning to drive and never living away from family, I moved all the way across the country. My car broke down halfway. The engine was overheating. I tried to keep driving. I’m lucky I made it into the autozone just as it gave out.

My whole life has been me jumping into the deep end, getting out, catching my breath, and doing it again, pushing myself to keep going, with or without the support. But through the last year the weight has increased. The water is deeper now, and the shore is a lot farther away. I’m not sure who’s running to the other side to try and grab me.

When the news broke, I felt like I was finally drowning. On election night (or very early morning, by the time I checked the results) I didn’t sleep, I was too busy crying. The second day I spent sleeping. The third day, I turned to music, old songs made years earlier and still far too relevant. Protest songs. Punk music. Lyrics that screamed the same anger and sadness and loss I felt. The rage at a system that is still continuously failing us and leaving us to tread water.

I didn't know why this hit me harder. Not that other instances had been exactly easy, of course. Then I read a post that someone else wrote.

They'd been used to being angry. Being tired. Being disappointed. But they weren't used to hoping. They let themselves hope. And they watched it implode.

I think one of the reasons I've been so fixated on the idea of hope is because honestly, as much as I like to pretend, I haven't actually had a lot of it.

I knew there was a chance of loss. I knew there were still plenty who supported the policies of Trump, or at the very least overlooked them in the hopes of gaining safety to float away from their own fears and concerns. But the magnitude of it still caught me off guard. The emboldening of those who resonate with him, even if a smaller subsect of the total numbers, frankly scares the shit out of me.

I had hoped that after one term we'd learned. I hoped that while things weren't perfect, the match of progress was going steadily forward, even with backsliding. I hoped that people had become more aware the past few years, even with hatred very much alive and well. Even with genocide. Even with natural disasters. Even with everything else. I hoped that maybe, just maybe, there were enough people that saw now to at least choose someone who'd mitigate the damage of the situation our world is facing, as much as there still is to fight for.

And I watched my hope implode. I watched the country vote across the board for people who have been nothing but loudly vocal about their intentions and hatred. More even than the first go. After we already have been seeing a mass movement to repeal civil rights and protection for minorities and vulnerable populations.

I watched it happen in a way that could not be brushed aside as a near miss. It was a landslide.

I wanted to sink. I felt so tired at that moment. Of fighting. Of hoping. Of seeing the support I’d finally relented into admitting I needed so badly being ripped away from me. Why should I keep swimming if it only ends with me drowning again? Not that this is exactly new for most minorities, but it felt like things were changing. People were waking up. Before it just was. This was a slap in the face.

And yet. And yet.

I started moving anyway. After three or so days, the panic receded, and I started treading water again.

I went to the grocery store. I got hugged by a stranger while I was checking out groceries, and we shared our fears. She told me about her kids. I told her about how I was hoping to start T this year. I cried again in the middle of the check out line.

I went on a walk at 3am and kicked a Trump sign. I didn’t watch the sunset, but I did watch the sunrise. I checked in with friends. I sat with myself. I cried again. I screamed in my car, the same one that has been sitting for three months waiting for a repair that no one in town but the manufacturer can fix an issue with, that’s been booked for one and a half of those months after I dropped 2k on other car issues before that.

I accepted that in no way, shape, or form am I remotely fucking okay. The world is not okay. Genocide. Natural disasters. Climate change. Emerging facism. Those aren’t things you can be okay with if you’re paying attention.

I have no idea what’s going to greet me as I head towards shore. I don’t know exactly what lurks under the water. I don’t even know if there’s going to be a shore to reach.

Part of me feels like raging against that is just a way to cope. But we only have the options in front of us, no matter how tired we are, and despite all these feelings. Despite it all. I’m still swimming, for some fucking reason.

Maybe it’s instinct at this point. That same stubbornness I had as a child pushing back against the waves crashing down around me.

Maybe I just don't want them to get the satisfaction of winning here too.

Feel the feelings. Acknowledge the situation. But FUCK them if they think this is over. If I stop swimming, it will be. At least for me. And I can't let myself accept that.

So I'm going to keep going the same way I always have. Because I can't turn back on what's happened. I can't change it. I can't make the storm in front of me disappear. But I can live through it. I can show up on the other side. I can build another support to help me on the days I'm tired, and I can try my best to build a raft big enough to pull others onto with me.

They can vote away our rights. They can try their best to intimidate us. But they can't make us lay down for it. Be afraid. Be sad. Be angry. But they don't get to drown us. Fuck that.

I've been clinging to hope like a life raft, but hope is motion. Hope is a muscle you train. Hope isn't thrown to you. It's taken and built with bloody, stubborn hands.

Sometimes hope is a burden, not a gift. Sometimes you don't want it. I don't want to fight. I want rest. I want peace. I want safety. But that isn't handed to me either, even if it's unfair.

It's not something you can take and hold and keep. You have to build it up, consciously and constantly. You can share it, but you can't promise it's going to stay without maintenance.

When it's taken, you have to find it again, and you have to accept it's going to hurt every time.

You have to be ready to open yourself to what that means. To hope is to face disappointment, again and again and again, and decide to keep after it anyway, because the only other choice isn't any better.

Sometimes it's more sadness than rage. A quiet voice of longing for what you wish could be, and the knowledge that if no one else is going to make it so, you have a choice if you accept it or try and make the change you long for, even if it's smaller than you'd like, because it's better than nothing. A small act of resisting when your arms feel like lead and you're hardly able to keep your head above the water line.

Self destruction is what they want. Hope is turning the page, even if what comes next is scary, again hoping that eventually a new chapter can be written. It's pushing the boulder up the hill. It's going out in public despite the best efforts to shut you away. It's spite. It's love. It's anger. It's continuing to live despite all efforts to make you choose to the contrary.

And that's how change works too.

Uninteresting times are a myth. The world is always chaos. People are always having to fight for things that in a just world would already exist. This fight, these feelings, aren't new.

Here in the USA where I am, only a few decades ago women couldn't own their own bank account. In my grandmother's lifetime Jim Crow was still in effect. Same sex couples have only been decriminalized since 2003, and still are fighting for that much throughout other parts of the world.

If those who came before us facing injustice gave into these feelings at every setback, we wouldn't be far enough along to feel these losses.

Does that make it sting less? No! It doesn't! But it's still important to remember. It's proof. Hope is not pointless, as much as it hurts. To continue moving forward you have to go through the rough waters.

We're in the storm together now, and there's only one direction we can go to get out. Feel your feelings and please. Keep moving. I love you. I see you. I'm so sorry. But one day the waters will be calmer. Keep allowing yourself to hope. If you struggle to do so alone, let this help to start, when you're ready.

[alittlefrenchtree]

Oh? Tell us more about Nick and Taylor's chemistry please. Curious Anon here! What do you mean by how interested you are in the nature of it and how it reflects on screen? Please elaborate 😊

Ok, so.

I don’t want my words to be misunderstood or lead to negativity so I might be extra cautious with things I’ll be saying.

Where to start? 

After my first watch, I remember saying *I think I like them better as BFF than as soulmates*. Six months down the line, things have obviously changed but I feel like there’s still a sense of that in few of my favorite scenes to watch, such as the New Year Eve party, the infamous turkey scene or the coffee in Paris scene. They’re flirty but we’re still closer to the start of the relationship than the end of the movie.

After my first watch, when I eventually stumbled into a few videos of them as Nick and Taylor and saw them as they are, I said oh. right. this is what I’ve seen shine so brightly through the movie.

So, that was me a few days in the fandom.

Obviously things are a little bit more nuanced now that I had time to watch and think more about everything. Because their chemistry also work in scenes where they are definitely not friends. Sex scenes were definitely not a problem since they feel right in all of them and there are also scenes through the second half of the movie where their chemistry is perfect for me. I love the.. pontoon? (No idea how it’s called) scene. Even if I wouldn’t put it in a list of my favorite, it’s probably one of the most beautiful scene of the movie. I love the piano scene as well.

But there is also a whole segment of the movie where they've kind of lost me in terms of chemistry. And writing this post is making me realize that most of the scenes I’m talking about are actually scenes that happen in a row: from the moment Alex storms into the (fucking) castle to Alex leaving all the way through the V&A scene. I guess I was waiting to feel things I haven't really felt. Not everything fall into Taylor and Nick’s responsibility obviously (I could pinpoint blocking and writing and editing), but these were moments the chemistry should have crossed the screen to wreak my heart and didn’t really. 

And I don’t know about their filming schedule exactly, but my guess is that maybe at this point they had fell (too much?) into that friendship/banter energy off screen, and it had leaked a bit on what they were doing on screen. Which did great for some scenes and a bit less for others. Because learning that the coffee scene was the first one they shot made a lot of sense with the rightness of their energy there. Alex and Henry have obviously known each other for a while, but, in many ways, the scene feels like a first date. And since this was the first scene for Taylor and Nick, they naturally were exactly where they needed to be. With the shyness and the tension, but that urge to know each other and just start whatever they were starting as characters and as actors.

So yeah. This isn’t me saying they haven’t any chemistry or haven’t enough of it. They obviously have, and it did help for the majority of the movie. But, for me, there were some moments, when the nature of their chemistry off screen might has made the process of hitting the right spot on screen more difficult. I don’t know.

And I do believe that seeing or not seeing chemistry in people is the most subjective thing you can think of. I’ve seen people melt over the chemistry shared by two people who looked (for me) like they never met in their entire lives and I’ve also seen the opposite so, you know. All opinions are valuable in this context and nothing is an absolute truth.

And if you’re wondering why I didn’t mention the night scene in Paris: I have another ask about it, so we’ll have plenty of time to discuss at length about it. Just probably not today 😅

And once again, thank you for the question 🙏💜

[perexcri]

Hello!!! You said you have been reading a lot of aus, could you please tell us about your favourite ones?

ahhh hello!! i would love to, because i've been really enjoying aus lately :D i haven't been reading as much fic as in the past because i've been trying to get through some books on my tbr list (of which there are too many, though i did finish one today!), but when i have been reading fics, it's been aus mainly!!

like i said in the other ask, you can always feel free to check out my bookmarks on ao3!! but here are a few of my current favs:

[hiding beneath the cut because it got way too long :) ]

tip-toeing on lily-pads by my beloved @cherryisgone. you might think i'm biased because it was given to me, and you would be correct in thinking that, but also, it's just?? so good?? the pining is off the charts, plus it's a kind of princess and the frog concept with prince Will and knight Mike. the writing is beautiful and has this lovely water imagery woven throughout it that i absolutely adored. idk what more someone could ask for tbh (except maybe a pt. 2 👀👉🏻👈🏻)

a new fight series by tea_for_one_please. this is a wonderful star wars au that does a fantastic job of weaving the main party members into the star wars universe and lore. i read it intermittently while i was visiting friends last month and really enjoyed my time with it. also, it's so well-written that i didn't realize how long the whole series was? apparently the entire series is the length of a book and i just. didn't know this until a few days ago lol. so yes, this one's fun for star wars/sci-fi vibes!!

fireball him! (cast protection) by @willow-lark. i'm a sucker for fantasy aus and this one is soooo so good!! again, maybe i'm biased because one of my stories is listed as inspiration, but i loved this thing. i saw it was posted last week while i was at work, and the second i got to take my lunch break, i flopped onto my couch to read it and was not disappointed. wonderful writing and an ending that left me with my jaw dropped. not that i'm still thinking about it :')

the manuscript by whereyouare. i'm humbly begging everyone to read this one because it's premise is just too good to pass up. it's an au where there's no Upside Down/supernatural stuff from the actual show. Will is a sci-fi author, and his publisher tells him his upcoming book is too cynical and the ending needs to be changed. it's such an interesting study of Will and refreshing take on his character, mostly because he's just...so cynical in this one? idk, maybe that's not for everyone, but i've enjoyed seeing a potential future Will where living in a small town and being in love with his (supposedly) straight best friend have hardened him more. it's fascinating and fun, so i highly recommend it!

warm by @notebooknonbinary. this one's a short fantasy au, but it's so sweet and soft. like i said, i'm a sucker for fantasy aus and have been writing with them a lot lately, so i always enjoy when i find a good one, and this one definitely fits the bill!

daydream by disaster_energy. this is a really fun d&d au where Will gets chosen by the moon goddess and Mike chooses to pledge to her paladin order. i especially loved the world-building in this one because it kinda reminded me of the percy jackson series - it was a perfect melding of a fantasy world with a modern one. plus it had plenty of pining, and i'll never complain about that lol

the vale of shadows by sevensided. another fantasy au!! this is the third installment in the dark mirror trilogy, which is one of my favorite things i've read ever in my life, fic or otherwise. i'm in love with this third installment and the recent update it got - the most recent 4 chapters have the perfect cottagecore vibes that made me melt. i love this whole series with all of my heart, and i'm so glad to see it in a fantasy au setting now

and it's not byler, but just for grins and giggles, i'm once again gonna rec sevensided's ronance one shot, nothing sacred / all things wild. i love this author's writing style, and she takes such an intense and interesting approach with these two characters by putting them in an FBI setting: Nancy is an agent recovering from a particularly traumatic mission, and Robin is her psychologist. they have a conversation and. well. Things Happen.

idk if you're specifically looking for recs anon, but if you're interested, i also have 2 fantasy aus and a vampire au i posted a few weeks ago!! they're some of my favorite things i've written and posted, and i really liked how the writing came out in them, so if you're interested, here they are:

fantasy aus: A Flower That Resembles You, the truth beneath the rose

vampire au: come to me again (in the cold, cold night)

happy reading!! if you have any recs, feel free to send some my way - i go through phases where i'll read more books than fic and vice versa, so it's only a matter of time until i'm glued to my phone burning through fics again lol

thanks for the ask, and thank you to all the lovely authors for creating such wonderful works for us to enjoy :D 💜💜💜

[justagalwhowrites]

OMG! Bestie! You ace it! When I saw the countdown and the comments about the previous chapter, I decided to wait and read the two chapters in a row. It's been a struggle not to read the first one. I'm so thankful now! You left us with the honey barely touching our lips!

Bambi's so strong! 😍 I know I've said it before, but it's true, and you can see it in every chapter. Surviving what she's gone through while keeping her humanity speaks of her resilience and strength. With just how she tells Joel her past, you can feel her pain and how much Joel feels for her. It's heartbreaking.

We have a Mark now! He must have been meaningful for her to keep the nickname he gave her. Eight years is a long time. Will we see more of him? Did you picture someone in particular while writing their first meeting? I just wanted to put the same face to the character.🤔 I love the glimpses of her past. Now we know how she started trading!

Bambi being able to explore herself intimately speaks of how much she's overcome, and how she throws caution to the wind and goes to Joel makes me feel so much. As soon as I saw the SCENE was coming, my smile grew so much it hurt. I was so giddy!🤭 The whole scene is perfect! The way Joel takes care of her and how he's so sweet, thoughtful, and able to keep her there with him, it's a perfect first time for them after their pasts. The tenderness and passion between them felt so meaningful. It was such a treat! I know these moments are not the bulk of the story, but please keep them coming! I find them so well-written!😍

Thanks for the updates!

PS: I haven't forgotten who or what Bambi left behind when the Raiders took her. I'm keeping an eye on you, lol!🤣

PSS: I think I'll have the mood board ready by Saturday. These last two chapters have given me tons of inspiration, lol. What do you think about black and dark red as a color theme?

PSSS: Don't mind the time you need to answer back! I have the feeling you'll have quite a few asks to answer after the chapter you posted, and I'm not helping with the length of mine, lol!

I wish you a lovely day! Lots of love!♥️♥️♥️

Ahhhh HI BESTIE!

I'm so glad you liked it and liked reading the chapters back to back!! You know me and my love for a cliffhanger lol

This might sound dumb since she's fictional and I made her but I'm so proud of Bambi. She's fought so hard to be where she is and she's finally starting to have a life and recover from everything that's happened. And she's able to trust Joel so fully and ugh. I just love her.

And yes, Mark! He's going to have a fairly integral part to play in the story, he unquestionably changed a LOT about Bambi's life and we'll probably see him again (I think, the flashbacks that I have planned are the things that are weird for me in storytelling. There have already been some left on the cutting room floor as it were - Bambi's first kiss, first bull riding competition, some cutesy shit with her brothers have all been cut because they fucked with the flow of the story and I felt like they didn't serve a big enough purpose to the development of her character to include in full.) The impact he has will be bigger than one or two more flashbacks, though. He is who got her started trading and she keeps the name in part because he gave it to her but more because, when he'd encounter people who he thought were trustworthy, he'd send them her way. "Go find Texas, she's around here. She'll get you a horse but you've gotta take care of her." And to me, Mark is a young Oscar Isaac 🫠

I, TOO, WOULD JUMP AT THE CHANCE TO FUCK THIS MAN GOOD ON YA BAMBI!

And don't worry, there will DEFINITELY be more smutty bits now that Joel and Bambi have gotten to this point. Both of them haven't gotten any in a WHILE and they're both very attracted to each other. Bambi still has a lot of hangups but she's going to be a lot more physically comfortable with Joel now that they've gotten here (and we're going to see more of how Bambi was in chapter 1, too, now that she's at that point which I'm really excited about!)

You will know what Bambi was protecting soon enough! You may not like it when you find out 🫣 I promise I won't leave you hanging! This part of the story has been planned since day one and I really can't wait until everyone is in the loop.

LOVE THIS COLOR SCHEME BESTIE!!! Love the whole thing honestly, can't wait for it!!!

I love your long asks, they always make me smile. Thank you thank you thank you for being here and taking the time to share your thoughts with me!

Love you!!!

[accessibleaesthetics]

Hi there, I would love some advice for describing images please! Firstly, is there a preference for it to be in the body of the text or in the alt description? (This is for when I'm OP). Secondly, is there a preference for how quotes are given? I've not used a screen reader so don't know how they read punctuation marks, and quotation marks in particular (I guess this might vary too). I've used - The title reads: "Example article title". I can appreciate there won't be a way that's perfect for everyone, but I'd like to know what will make it more accessible for as many people as possible!

This is going to get a little long, so I'm going to put it under a read more. However, as usual, I invite people who use screen readers to share their experience in regards to both of these questions.

The preference varies a lot, to be honest. I personally prefer either having the full description in the alt text if it's short and sweet or an overview of the description in the alt text that ends with some form of "see image description in body of text for full details" if you can't describe everything necessarily in 200-300 characters or less. In those cases, you would then put the full ID as an image description in the post. This allows someone using a screen reader to get an idea of whats in the image and be able to decide if they want to hear more about it.

I tend to stray away from only using an image description since multiple screen reader users have told me that they will simply skip a post entirely if the images don't have alt text.

Of course, my preference isn't by any means the rule of thumb. This poll about length and placement of image descriptions gives some idea of the variety in preferences among Tumblr users. I think it is also worth noting that, as far as I know, some screen readers will not let you navigate alt text the same way you can text. It's very possible that some screen reader users will need to listen to alt text on a single image all at once, and then listen to it all again if they miss something. This makes long detailed alt text less than ideal for those users. Of course, that might not be as true with Tumblr since alt text added via the default editor is accessible as an image description as well, but it's still something to keep in mind.

There is also some evidence that Tumblr's alt text is not fully accessible to some users, though looking at the comments of the post, it seems like the majority of people answering that way actually mean that the presentation of alt text is less than ideal for them, such as the text being smaller than they'd like or the Alt Text button not being as obvious as they'd like. The expandable image description feature is not fully compatible with some older blog layouts either.

In terms of your second question, you're right that punctuation varies from screen reader to screen reader! I know that, at least with JAWS, quotation marks will be read as "left quote" or "right quote" if the verbosity settings are set to high, but otherwise they are not read. Using something like VoiceOver, quotation marks won't be read regardless (unless there is a way to navigate character-by-character like there is in JAWS and I just haven't discovered it yet, then it's possible that VoiceOver might be able to read it too). I'm not sure how NVDA handles it, but since JAWS tends to have the most user customization options of most screen readers, I think there's a good chance NVDA doesn't call them out either.

I'd say if the quotes are very important to the meaning, you might want to consider replacing them with text, such as saying: "this program is [quote] accessible [end quote], but what does that really mean?" You'll notice that I used quotation marks there too, and that's because I think it helps visually, even when it's not essential to the meaning. Adding a colon or comma before the quote can also force the screen reader to pause, making it more apparent to screen reader users where the quote functionally begins since that tends to be how we indicate it in natural speech.

Check out Why Don’t Screen Readers Always Read What’s on the Screen? Part 1: Punctuation and Typographic Symbols for more information one how screen readers deal with punctuation and other symbols.

[lamialamia]

Hi!! 8, 10, 12, 13, 28, 32 and 34 for the questions for fic writers ask game please!

Thanks Lou <3

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

Despite my hatred for James Bond movies, their theme songs always slapped (with few exceptions). So songs like No Time To Die and Skyfall are the stuff epic novel-length fics are made of.

10. How do you decide what to write? Already answered here

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

Nah, I haven't changed my mind a lot about tropes and cliche. I hate what I hate and love what I love for a long time.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

Miscommunication. Yeah. Now I can't stand it when writers used this, I mean I know communications can't be perfect all the times but rarely is this tropes used well or make narrative sense :|

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who?

I have a few people who beta-read my stuff for me. Shoutout to @eugeneshelton and @blood-mocha-latte for their awesome help <3

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read?

Any length is perfect. Fanfic for me is a labor of love so it is impossible to set a standard of perfection for it. Not to mention, I have many different mood, sometimes I love a short thing to read before bed, sometimes I want to chew through an epic 500k fics.

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

Anytime I put some medical stuff in a fic... it might come from my background in medicine haha. Also, one of my upcoming fics gonna have some heavy family drama that might have been inspired by my own family problems >"<

From the questions for fic writers ask game