#a lot of the school discussion infuriates me

[dreameralive]

i think one of the most noteworthy things about Blaise that i haven't really seen anyone discuss is his tendency to liken others to children, his weaponization of it, its relation to him being a child abuser, and its relation to his defeat.

one of his first lines of dialogue, before he even introduces himself, is him humiliating Franziska by calling her 'little von Karma', and then bringing up something retroactively embarrassing she did as a little girl.

he frames this as genuine nostalgia, but to me, it's pretty clear this was a purposeful, and almost sadistic, powerplay.

there's also these lines. these aren't too strange, out of context - "let's all play nice" is a relatively common phrase, and in the second screenshot where he's discussing Kay and Edgeworth's friendship, they are literally youths (well, compared to him). but in context, it's clear that this is part of him attempting to assert his dominance over everyone else.

he wants to let everyone know that he is the adult here, and all they are is children - and thereby, they are completely powerless to his end-all authority, so they shouldn't even bother attempting to resist. this is further emphasized during his logic chess segment.

he calls Edgeworth 'my boy', he reminds him that he is his 'senior in life', he tells him he's being naïve. he threatens to never give back his prosecutors badge if he doesn't stop trying to question his authority. he asks him, mockingly, if he's scared. then, while grinning, he tells him that there is nothing he can do, and he should give up already.

he once again, more blatantly this time, is attempting to force someone else into accepting that they are the weaker party and that he could do anything he pleased to them, and once again, he is weaponizing the societal power imbalance between a child and an adult to do so.

i could go on and on for a while with more examples of this, but then that would make this post really long and rambly. so, instead, i'm going to discuss what his behavior ultimately results in.

this is probably one of the most disturbing interactions in Ace Attorney.

he does this purely so Sebastian will feel humiliated and ashamed in front of his colleagues, people he respects and who in turn are supposed to respect him. he does this to remind Sebastian that he is his father, and Sebastian is his child. to Blaise, that means he has complete control over him. and until this point? he actually does.

he has controlled every aspect of Sebastian's life to be exactly how he wants it. his path in life, his school, his tests - even Sebastian's constant usage of his surname serves as a reminder that Sebastian's only purpose to his father is to be an extension of him, a tool to feed into his ego. an object. something he owns.

note how, in their sprites, Sebastian is typically tilting his head slightly downwards, and in his crying sprites, he's leaning down. meanwhile Blaise stands high, and in his grinning sprites, his head is tilted up, as to literally look down on the person he's talking to.

but in the end, right before Blaise is convicted, right as Blaise tells him he should just remain his idiot son, Sebastian is looking up as he tells him goodbye. a way of saying that he's not beneath him, and he won't let him act like it anymore.

Blaise is immediately infuriated by this, and says all you've ever been able to do is depend on me. he screams Sebastian's name in anger - but it's cut off.

in fact, there is no more dialogue from Blaise after this. because he has no more authority, no more ability to scare Sebastian or anyone else into submission. in the end, Sebastian has finally taken back his autonomy that Blaise has robbed him of. so has Kay. so has Simon. all of them are children he has mistreated, threatened, and jerked around for his own selfish gain, but ultimately, they all still have more power over their own lives than he ever will again.

there's a lot more i could say on this, but these are all my thoughts i could organize. thanks for reading.

[hvenart]

I absolutely love the new season of young royals. I also love how it furthered my disdain for out of touch rich people. They finally took full advantage of the setting of the show and showed how ignorant people with wealth can be.

You have Felice’s friend group who I and I’m gonna be completely honest CANNOT STAND. Like I like madison but frederika and Stella are so infuriating. Frederika has a knack for saying the most tone-deaf stuff that really gets under my skin and Stella is so blunt and just not in a good way. The way they almost got angry with Felice for calling out the toxic traditions and the bad school environment. It never affected them so it cannot POSSIBLY have been that bad. I love how they acknowledged Felice being one of the only black girls at the school and the friends just not getting it. Not understanding what the issue is exactly and just responding with ‘you’re beautiful.’ Felice knows she’s beautiful. She isn’t insecure she’s just calling out the biases of the teachers but she realises she’s not gonna be able to have a fruitful conversation with them so she just moves on to not make things awkward.This is so relatable for a black girl with an all white friend group. Sometimes the discussion is not worth your energy.

But they are NOTHING compared to Vincent and some of the other guys. The comments they made were sometimes so infuriating I had to pause to compose myself. They are a slightly different case since they actually full on faced the toxicity but especially Vincent refuses to cope with it and continues to traumatise students further(sure not as bad as he faced but initiations will always be disgusting)

The times he calls Simon a communist for simply speaking out about problems ( I don’t think my man payed attention in politics) yet will do a protest for a thing he’s not happy with cus hey how hard can it be poor people do it not realising how draining it can be (he should be happy they gave in so quickly cus he was not prepared)

And Wilhelm….

I’m probably gonna do a second post about him because I wanna get all my thoughts out before the final ep.

I love him but I love how Simon called him out about how he didn’t realise how privileged he was. Don’t get me wrong he faces a lot of problems because of it but he doesn’t understand some of the struggles. He saw the camping trip as just a bad night but Simon saw it for what it was. Two types of people with an incredible difference of wealth not being able to understand each other because one doesnt know how the world works. How much struggle the ordinary person has while they just see things as a given.

The lack of understanding between the two was always gonna cause conflict and honestly you can’t even blame them

(Though I will slightly blame rich people for being so out of touch with world issues but hey guess that’s just poor me talking who’s jealous of them)(Wilhelm tried his best and so did Simon)

[drdemonprince]

To the COVID anon: my pro-Palestinian writing mentions the importance of masking and bringing masks to protest multiple times, so I'm not sure why you're under the impression that it doesn't. Please also keep in my that my essays are typically queued up for weeks, if not months, prior to their publication -- you should not assume that because I am talking about riding on a plane in an essay published today that I am currently that moment on a plane during a surge. You also shouldn't assume that I'm not masking in airports, train cars, and other public spaces (I am).

Since the beginning of the pandemic, I have had to deal with people assuming the absolute worst of my own personal behavior regarding COVID because I am critical of how public systems have failed to encourage and facilitate COVID mitigation. It's infuriating to be on the receiving end of such moralizing bad faith assumptions and for them to always be posed to me in an accusatory tone. I speak about this topic LESS because of the amount of bad-faith, moralizing, perfectionistic shit people throw my way.

I understand why you feel completely left behind anon, but projecting the most negative possible actions and intentions onto another person who does take this issue very seriously and has been writing about it regularly since March 2020 is not helpful. I need people to stop being propagandized into believing that COVID's spread is caused by nobody giving a fuck and not doing the "right" thing. Lots of us take principled, informed action constantly only to be told that we aren't doing enough or that we must be fucking up somehow because the situation is still bad. It's still bad because our public systems have failed us repeatedly.

If I were going to write about COVID masking in an essay about how disability is manufactured, it would be about how the government and employers forced people into work and made them sick and disabled for life. I would be writing about the Biden administration discouraging masking and no longer funding rapid tests. I would discuss school openings, reduced Medicaid benefits, and all the other systemic forces that have pushed people to have no choice but to take more risk and to lose their life or worsen their health because of it. And then, after I'd written that, which I have written many times before, people would accuse me of being an anti-masker who doesn't care about chronically ill people because I... go to protests and am required to travel for my job.

We can't build a disability justice movement on assuming the worst of other people who we are in community with, punishing them with judgement when they do speak out about COVID (thereby discouraging them from doing so further), and moralizing every individual choice (real or imagined) at the expense of focusing on the systemic causes of behavior.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA the asshole for trying to convince my roommate to break up with her boyfriend? 

I (24 NB) live in a small apartment with three other roommates; my boyfriend, my best friend, and her boyfriend (all 24). My bestie and her boyfriend have been dating for over 4 years now, and my bf and I have lived with them for 3 of those years. Her boyfriend, who we will call Sean, has been slowly but surely becoming the problem roommate. In the past he was a fairly unobtrusive roommate, as his intense gaming addiction kept him holed up in the office for days at a time. However, as he has started changing his home behavior post grad school, the remaining 3 of us, bestie included, have begun to find him wildly intolerable. Bestie and Sean own 3 cats together, while my bf and I have 1. My cat is 9 months old and definitely the craziest out of the cats. He spends a lot of time roughhousing with their 3 girl cats, and while he has never broken any skin or caused serious injury of any kind, they definitely yowl and express their displeasure when they aren’t in the mood for play fighting. Sean finds this behavior on the part of my cat to be infuriating. He’s even said out loud to me that my cat makes him “irrationally angry”. He’s the only one of us unemployed but refuses to get a job (as if he did, his parents would no longer support him financially). Due to this, he spends the most time at home with the cats out of any of us. When I have seen him react to the cats fighting, he has screamed, thrown things, and beat his fists against the wall or headboard. It gives me a low level of constant anxiety that when I’m not home he is going to physically injure my cat. While he’s never hurt any of the animals before, and he’s very loving with HIS cats, his angry behavior has only escalated over the 8 months I have had my cat. Because of this I’m growing increasingly uncomfortable with having him in the house. While I would swallow my discomfort about his behavior and wait out our lease if he made my bestie happy, their relationship has also taken a downward spiral over the last 2 years. He’s cheated (though only online), forgotten her birthday, forgotten valentines day, refuses to care for her when she’s sick, and argues with her constantly. They have been in couples therapy for about a month now but after therapy they tend not to talk to each other as each therapy session brings up a huge fight. Her current position on the matter is that she hopes he gets a job out of our commuting range so that he could live with his parents for a while and not bother us anymore; she doesn’t want him in the house and they haven’t slept in the same bed for months. However, she refuses to break up with him because she doesn’t want to fight for custody of their 3 cats. Over the last couple months we discuss her breaking up with him almost daily. My attitude during these conversations has gone from a more sympathetic lean to just constantly flat out telling her that she should break up with him, and that I’m tired of having him in my house. I feel like I may be a total asshole for being so upfront with her about my opinions regarding someone she truly loves and has built a bit of a life with (and Sean has told me that he wants to marry her as soon as they are out of the apartment and he has a job). So AITA for practically begging my roommate to drop her boyfriend? 

What are these acronyms?

[sweetm0uringlamb]

god the spn fandom makes me so tired.

look, people are gonna shit on this post saying that i should just leave if i don’t like it. the thing is, fandom should be a space where people can be themselves and talk about this thing they like. they shouldn’t be so frustrated by the people in the fandom that they have to leave.

we have different opinions. we have different thoughts and feelings concerning the show and the actors and the writers.

and that’s fine. having different opinions and discussing those different opinions is good and healthy for fandom as a whole. we should be able to have these open discussions without snipes and jibes towards each other. open discussion is healthy and good.

but recently i’ve seen a lot more of people harassing others with different opinions, insulting them, and this actually gets very personal at points.

i can’t believe i have to say this, but no matter what, harassing people is not okay. if you don’t like them, don’t engage.

and if you do harass someone else, they have a right to call you out. they have a right to defend themselves. everyone from fanartists to fanfic writers to just normal bloggers. if you harass them, don’t expect them to take that shit lying down.

also, don’t harass actors. if you don’t like them, post about it, but don’t directly harass them. that’s not cool, not chill. it’s stalkerish and weird.

but the spn fandom is so toxic and full of all this bullshit. it’s stupid and unnecessary. it feels like high school drama just with adults. it’s infuriating.

just, please.

supernatural fandom, do better.

[trekkele]

Hi!

I was kinda curious about something. From what I‘ve seen in the Fandom it looks like Bruce was heavily judging and talking down to Stephanie when he found out about her Teen pregnancy, and he also used her to try and make Tim jealous about having a new Robin?

Considering Bruce never even wanted a Robin/dislikes his family also being Vigilantes (even if he is simultaneously proud of them) I don’t get why he would try and lure Tim back like that.

Especially his treatment of Stephanie seems wildly out of character. He wants to help Gotham as a whole, he doesn’t judge prostitutes, desperate criminals, or anything of the like, AND specifically has a softspot for Kids and teenagers, so his behavior makes ZERO sense.

But I get that canon does what it wants and sometimes goes for shock/drama for the heck of it and writes characters in a way that is more "interesting" (it really isn’t).

So what I really wanted to know is; is this also accepted as canon in the more Bruce friendly circles? Or is it more like Bruce cutting Jasons throat with a Batarang, where it was rightfully so decided that that‘s stupid.

(was there a """good""" or """understandable""" reason Batman acted like that?)

Ok so this is actually multiple questions and i love all of them because while i hate canon’s treatment of Stephanie and Steph-and-Bruce i love the core concept of the characters - which is, how do you deal with a alternate version of yourself? (Because i will never shut up about Steph and Bruce being parallels).

So to start, you mention fandom writing Bruce as judging her teen pregnancy which i cant speak to because i avoid those fics with prejudice and i havent read/dont remember if the canon ever even deals with that - but long story short No He Would Not. It does not fit his character or his stated goals to act like that. I dont really have more to say on that because the idea is absurd to me, so its kind of lighting up ??? When i try to imagine it.

(Also Bruce absolutely had a teen pregnancy scare/scandal are you joking? Easiest way to get your hands on the billionaire babies fund.)

The “make Tim jealous for Robin” is unfortunately, true but also that era of comics is so confusing. Tim is in boarding school with Alfred, he specifically asked Stephanie to take over Robin and for Bruce to train her, Bruce finally thought he was done with baby vigilantes but no, this kid arranged for a babysitter for him … bonkers.

The thing with Steph is that she was already a vigilante. Spoiler was an independent actor for almost as long as Tim was Robin, she didnt need Batmans permission or approval to start (but lets be honest she probably wanted it.) or continue what she was doing! So the thing with Bruce being harsher during training or refusing to train her … it wouldn’t work. It didnt work. It in fact led to the eventual confrontation with Black Mask and her “death”.

Majority of the Bruce and Steph fics ive read have done some serious frankensteining with her backstory and their relationship - for good reason. A lot seem to cut the teen pregnancy storyline entirely (a fact i feel neutral about. Its interesting and adds depth to Steph, but the way we talk about teen pregnancy has changed a lot since it was written.) as well as the idea that Bruce was trying to make Tim jealous- instead its about Bruce trying to convince Steph that being a vigilante is too hard, too dangerous, and too limiting for her to continue, which is mean yeah but at least its in character, especially for post Death in the Family Bruce who just wants these dumb kids to stop taunting death.

Its unfortunate that canon basically confirms Bruce’s fears with Stephanies death and its mildy infuriating how fandom treats it.

I cant speak for all of “Bruce friendly circles” (love that btw) but thats what ive seen more of, when their relationship is even discussed. I personally prefer fics that focus on her being Spoiler, and more independent of Bruce because of it - like Robin was an internship for a position she ultimately rejected, because it wasnt something she wanted. Also Barbara being more of her Batman with Batman being support staff. If that makes sense.

Was there a “good” or “understandable” reason Bruce acted like that? Grief, fear at what could happen if he let Stephanie keep vigilanting, Steph being unwilling to operate within Robin rules after being independent, and the usual “can you please go to bed its a school night” could work if you retconn his worse moments tbh. Was there a good or understandable reason Bruce was written like that? Misogyny and the inability to conceive of a female character who doesnt need him.

Im not actually sure i answered your question so Fic recs that include those big rewrites i mentioned: Blackbird by goldkirk, First as Tragedy, Second as Farce by autumngray

[goldberrg]

point of no return

summery : Billy has zero patience, and he's holding on with the last of his strength, repeating like a mantra his father's fucking instructions that you can't beat girls, but Y\N Klein has been walking on a fine line for days. She's an arrogant little bitch, a spoiled daddy's daughter who has never heard the word “no” in her life. She has infinitely long legs, a mouth created for blowjobs, and luxurious tits that she flaunts at every opportunity. And this is where the list of its obvious advantages ends.

TW's — pwp ( 18+ ), dirty talk, underage, rough sex, mention of smoking, sex in public.

Billy is annoyed by how languidly you float into the classroom, how you wrinkle your nose with displeasure, taking your place at the desk right in front of him, how you distastefully curl your plump, evenly made-up lips. He is infuriated by the smell of your sweet perfume, provincial slut outfit and the eyes of an innocent doe.

And it seems that you like to piss him off lately, because Billy does not find any other objective reasons that she has become too much in his space. You and your entourage are sitting at a nearby table at lunch, loudly discussing Tommy Hagen's latest party, sitting in the stands at basketball practice, although you had not previously been attracted to this sport, and the cutouts of your blouses are becoming more and more explicit every day. And Billy, by and large, does not care what you are up to, but his cup of patience is already overflowing.

The last straw is the fucked-up that you arranged in the parking lot at the school, blocking the exit of his car with your fucking car. And the only reason Billy hasn't nailed you yet is an exceptional unwillingness to deal with the consequences.

— Where the fuck is Klein? — Billy bumps into her cheerleader friend in the hallway, apparently delayed at a cheerleading practice.

The girl shies away from him as if from a madman, stammers, trying to explain something, watching with horror as Billy's nostrils swell with rage and his eyes fill with blood.

— I'm fucking asking you again, where the fuck is Klein?

— In the office of the school newspaper. — she answers in a half — whisper, taking small steps backwards so as not to anger Billy even more. — Preparing a fashion column for Friday's issue.

— Goood. — Billy pulls, turning in the right direction. He has no idea what he will do with your bitchy attitude when he finds you, but he keeps repeating to himself that he cant beat girls, especially if they are mayor's daughters.

— What the fuck, Klein?! — Billy opens the door from his feet, perhaps surprised that the newspaper nerds have already run away by this hour and have no one to impress.

— Ugh, Hargrove, rude. — you respond, looking up at him with a mocking look.

— You fucking did it on purpose!

— What did i do? — your expression is so innocent that Billy chokes on his indignation.

— Car, Klein.

— Oh, that. — you bend around him in an arc, which is difficult to do in such a tight space, and rings the keys, locking the office door from the inside. — Will you punish me?

— You're fucked up. — Billy chuckles.

— It turns you on, doesn't it? — you respond, coming close to him. Your hair smells of the same sweet perfume, your crown is right under his nose, your look from the bottom up is cunning and tempting.

— If you wanted me to fuck you, you could have just asked. — your lips are crushed by his kiss, and you immediately greedily open your mouth, letting in his tongue, leans towards his hands, wrapping your strong neck.

— That wouldn't be interesting. — you reply as his lips move down your neck, pulling the smooth, delicate skin into your mouth, leaving behind blooming hickeys.

— A little spoiled slut. — Billy picks you up under the butt, sitting you on the desk, right on the papers and materials of tomorrow's newspaper.

You spread your knees, and he immediately finds himself between them, you pull his shirt off his shoulders, putting your mouth to his muscular tanned chest. — Don't you fuck everything that moves in this school?

Billy, with a growl, runs his palms under your skirt, stroking your thighs through thin panties, bites your breasts through your dress and underwear, pulling the lace fabric with his teeth.

— How chatty. — he teases you with light touches of his fingers, licks widely from the cleavage between your breasts to your collarbone, sucking the skin. — Aren't you already leaking, even though I haven't even taken off your tiny panties?

— And what other invitation are you waiting for? — you move your hips under his palm to snuggle, to get used to hard calloused fingers. You bend in your back, throwing your arms over Billy's shoulders, and exaggeratedly groan in his ear. — Come on, Hargrove, stick your dick in me.

Billy growls with indignation, he is not led to the provocations of spoiled girls, doing only what he sees fit. But Klein, pressed against the table, is too sweet, a tasty morsel to back down now. And Billy really wants to plant you right now, so that you howl with pleasure, fuck your arrogance and arrogance out of you. You must break your voice, you must remember this dirty sex as the best in your miserable life.

Your palms slide down his shoulders, fall on his stomach, tickling with teasing touches, stop at the belt buckle, unbuttoning it with a loud clang. He turns you obedient and pliable on yout stomach, so as to flatten your on the creaking wood, presses his palm on the small of your back, and you bend harder, sticking out your small strong ass.

Billy bites your neck, pushing your legs apart with his knee, rubs his hard-standing dick against your butt through the fabric of underwear and tight jeans and with a grin notes the thin high half-clip that escaped from your lips.

— Beg me, Y\N. — he breathes into your ear and pulls away, looking at the view.

Klein, with smudged lipstick and a swollen mouth, scratching the surface of the table with acrylic nails, in a crumpled dress with your ass pulled up like a hot bitch in sticky lace panties, whines with displeasure, looking at him over your shoulder.

— Please, Billy. — you lick your lips, pull the bottom one into your mouth, biting nervously. — Please.

— Not enough. — he unbuttons a button, pulls the zipper on his jeans, lowering them from his hips, and exhales with relief. — I don't believe it.

— Asshole, — you get angry and immediately ask, without giving him a snide answer. — Put it inside me.

— That's better.

— Fuck me so that I can't walk tomorrow.

— Even so? — Billy licks his lips and winks at you, rustles the foil, opening the package with a condom. — What else?

— So that I can lose my voice. — you feel how he pushes aside a strip of underwear with his fingers and puts a hot head, and feeds on the dick, taking it completely. — So that the bruises go away for a few more days.

— I'm surprised, Y\N. — Billy comes out of your almost to the end, puts his hand under your stomach, rides up your chest, crushing, pushes inside with a flourish. — And you pretended to be such a good girl.

Klein is silent, allowing him to grab you by the throat and squeeze you until you wheezes, rests your palms on the table so as not to wiggle your stomach on it in time with each deep thrust. Obedient, slippery, narrow. Billy did not expect that you were so tight that you would wrap around him like a glove, he was sure that the entire basketball team, led by the captain, had visited the mayor's daughter.

Your throat contracts under the palm of your hand, you sway to the beat, adjusting to the ragged rhythm of his movements, hisses when the fingers of the other hand squeeze your thigh too hard. Lustful, insatiable, predatory. Billy releases your throat from the grip, pulls your hair up to intercept it more conveniently under your stomach and slide two fingers to the clitoris.

You moan out loud, rolling, sonorous, as if you had forgotten where they are, as if you want to gather half of the school under the door of the office. Billy clamps your mouth with wet fingers, driving indelicately into a soft, tender body, close to orgasm, feels your shudder all over, biting the tips of his fingers and immediately licking your tongue.

— You look attractive today. — Billy chuckles, pulling out of you. Throws the used condom on the table next to it, pulls on underwear with jeans and zips up. He looks for his shirt.

— Thank you. — you breath hoarsely, getting up on trembling legs, straightens your dress and hair, reaches for your purse for a mirror. — I can't say the same about you, Hargrove.

You seem to like pissing him off lately, but Billy is patient and knows how to wait.

— You have five minutes to fix your makeup and drive away your fucking girly car while I smoke.

— Or what? Will you crash my car and yours at the same time? — you arch a perfectly plucked eyebrow ironically.

— Oh, Klein, I'll think of something more interesting.

— I can't wait, Hargrove.

[blueberry-pride]

Congrats on all the milestones :D!!! I’d like to request headcanons for how Azul, Jamil, and Idia would handle recovery from their overblot!

After The Storm

Centurion Follower Event Special (March 1-25) warnings: Topics/discussions could be triggering for some, this is a bit angsty but overall bittersweet. Also slight spoiler for Chp. 6 Berry: Thank you so muuuch! This was a very different request from the others so it was pretty fun thinking and writing for this. What helped me what listening to the song Just A Man from Epic The Musical (I've seen so many TWST vids on Tiktok about it so hehe)

Tbh, what should happen or be shown in-game is that all of these bois have some serious therapy. At the very least have an intimate/serious convo with people they're comfortable sharing to cuz there is a LOT of baggage

I see Azul as the type to perfect and focus more on recovering himself quickly and/or 'perfectly' if you will. Trying to show everyone that he knows the actions of his consequences and is willing to take the steps to better himself. HOWEVER. He forgets or rather avoids certain things

I see that there would be days or even weeks where Azul would avoid any mirror or reflection up until he accidentally checked on himself to fix his uniform. Brief flashbacks of both his past and memories during his rampage would come rushing in.

In all honesty, I see Azul swiftly excusing himself from the Mostro lounge just to cry or to huddle himself in the corner of his room and contemplate about it. Telling himself to get better quick or his other plans would hinder.

In the coming days, he DOES get better, became more generous, more kinder and overall much more open to things that go about his day. However, there will always be a small hiccup within the day where he couldn't stand the man he saw in the mirror or how constricting his pants feel or even how his notes don't look right.

He'd probably have mountains of books, tabs on his laptop about getting self-help or psychology 101 to fix this issue. But in all honesty, Azul would probably give in and talk maybe to Jade or even Idia through bits and pieces. They might not be the best choice at the matter but he values their thoughts when he needs it the most <3

Jamil's recovery would be the hardest in my opinion. Jamil is rather complex and difficult to really dissect. He'd get back up and go to work. He's the stubborn fool that would busy himself, making it up to everyone by doing more tasks, more chores to prove that he's reliable.

Jamil would be the type to ignore the whispers and side glances at him as he walks by the halls and his dorm. It wouldn't really get to him as like what I've said before, it would drive him to work even more, avoiding to really take care and acknowledge that part of him that needs rest

The only way I could see him getting some semblance of peace is at night. Late at night where everyone is fast asleep, tucked a way in his room either in his dorm outfit or in his sleepwear. He'd close his eyes as he listens to his playlist and let music calm the million thoughts running though his mind everyday.

Jamil keeps his recovery to himself, behind closed doors. He doesn't want anyone ESPECIALLY Kalim to worry about him. He wants to resolve this thing through his own terms because then at least, he's in control of this one thing. Everything and everyone gives him order or they control him.

He doesn't mean to push people away because of this. He just wanted freedom. He wanted something that's entirely HIM. Maybe later on after the events of chp 5 and 6, he'd warm up to the idea of talking about his true feelings to Kalim and eventually to other people.

It's becoming a pattern with all of the other people who overblotted that they most often than not, just brush things off like they didn't just traumatized half of the school. Idia probably being the most infuriating one cuz he's the most stubborn ones out of the bunch.

Idia would handle his recovery by also busying himself similar to Jamil. The only difference is that I'd see him just playing games as a distraction to avoid thinking about it and understanding the weight of what he just went through. He shuts himself down already so in a way to cope with that is by distracting himself with pretty graphics and intense gameplay.

Though he can't really escape it, he'd play a game and his memories would be triggered all because there'd be a fight/cutscene similar to what happened in the Isle of Lamentation. He'd freeze and lose the match all while the eyebags underneath his eyes becoming all too heavy for him.

This would probably happen in the early days after the whole thing, he'd get frustrated, get easily worked up as he tries even more distractions. I also see him late in the night, staring up at the ceiling, not really sleeping but not really awake to do anything either.

One way I could see this ending a good note is that he'd ask Ortho for ideas on how to combat this within himself as well as to heal his bond with his brother. Since they have their shared love for games and tech, I'd want to see the both of them create a small therapy simulation AI. In a way they could still treat it as any other game and at the same time, the two of them get the help they need and deserve.

[ggfj84]

“See you, Old Man!” Dick shouted as he leapt over the door of Bruce’s black Aston Martin DB11 convertible. Bruce always did like to travel in style.

Dick had barely started toward the school when Bruce called out to him, “Dick, you know I'm going out of town later this – "

"Take me with you.”

“We’ve been over this.” And they had – three times already. Bruce looked out the front of the window as a gaggle of uniform-clad students of Gotham Academy crossed in front of his car. “You have the playoffs. You should be there for your teammates."

"But you’re my partner.” Dick returned to the car and held his duffle and backpack straps tightly. “I want to go with you.”

Bruce refused to even discuss that part, which infuriated Dick to no end. “Let’s do something fun tonight."

Dick blinked. "Fun?"

"My father used to take me to Amusement Mile. We’d play a few games and ride the rides before taking in a baseball game." Bruce offered Dick one of his rare but true smiles. “I’d like to take you.”

Fear made Dick’s blood run cold. "A-Are you okay? Is something wrong with you?"

"I’m fine. We'll make an evening of it before heading out on patrol."

"Oh my God! Is there something wrong with me?"

Bruce let out a gentle laugh. "Dick."

Dick sobered then and returned Bruce’s honest smile with one of his own. “Yeah. I’d like that. A lot, actually.”

“Good.” Then he paused, as if debating with himself, before cocking a conspiratorial smile. “Get in.”

“Seriously?” With an excited “WHOO!” Dick threw his stuff into the backseat, jumped over the side of the car, and slid into his seat.

Bruce waited until Dick was buckled to speed away, and sure, they had to make a detour to the courthouse for Bruce to file some W.E. paperwork, but it ended up being the one of the best days in Dick’s entire life.

The End

Adoption Series  Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four  

[chloe-caulfield94]

Thoughts on Nathan Prescott? Do you empathize with him like some players? I surely don't. The guy was violent and killed Rachel and drugged Chloe and Kate.

For me, the overall message of Season 1, Before the Storm and Season 2 is one of empathy. That sometimes people, especially if they went through a lot, don't know how to ask for help but they still need it. That you shouldn't give up on people easily. That sometimes relationships can be fixed. I think that players who react with annoyance or even disdain towards Chloe in Season 1, Rachel in BtS or Daniel in Season 2 have failed to learn this simple, but very important lesson.

Nathan's character could've played into that theme. If his criminal behaviour was a result of the mental condition that his father refused to treat him for, could we really hate or condemn Nathan? But while that angle is teased throughout the game (in Max's nightmare, a phantom of Nathan, who is already dead at that point, asks Max if she's going to kill him just because he's mentally ill), it is demonstrably not an accurate way of portraying his evil deeds.

Nathan has some sort of mental condition which causes him to have sudden violent outbursts. His father, apparently believing that his son being treated by a psychiatrist would destroy the Prescott family name, refuses to provide him with medical care, even though Nathan's doctor is pleading for it.

But Nathan's crimes - his murder and kidnapping of Rachel, his kidnapping of Kate and his attempted kidnapping of Chloe - were NOT crimes of passion. They were NOT results of sudden violent outbursts. They were cold, calculated crimes. His kidnappings of Rachel and Kate were pre-planned, pre-meditated crimes. His photo session of Rachel probably took hours to complete. Those were not sudden outbursts of someone temporarily unable to control their own behaviour. And while his attempted kidnapping of Chloe was him grasping at an opportunity that suddenly arose, he still made a conscious decision to do so.

Likewise, it would be unconvincing to chalk up Nathan dealing drugs at school to his mental condition.

So while Nathan's mental condition is an interesting part of his character, it is ultimately irrelevant when discussing his crimes. He clearly commited his crimes (which were anything but sudden, uncontrolled outbursts) based on his conscious decisions, with planning and preparation.

Another part of Nathan's character is that he's starved for affection from a father figure, because of how cold and uncaring, downright cruel his father is. The way Nathan is treated by his father is shown in BtS. So you could say that Nathan started imitating Jefferson and became his accomplice because he wanted Jefferson to become the father he had never had.

There's a big problem with that explanation. While it might explain, at least in part, why Nathan became involved with Jefferson in the first place, it doesn't fit his murder and kidnapping of Rachel and his attempted kidnapping of Chloe.

Jefferson did NOT want Nathan to perform photo sessions of his own. Jefferson didn't consider Nathan ready for that. When Nathan brought Jefferson Rachel's photos, Jefferson was furious. At that point Nathan had to clearly understand that doing his own photo sessions was not a way to gain Jefferson's affection. On the contrary, he knew it was something that could infuriate Jefferson. But then he decided to attempt to do to Chloe the same thing he had done to Rachel.

This proves two things. Firstly, he didn't mind the possibility of overdosing Chloe, just like he had overdosed Rachel. He didn't care his next photo session could end with another girl dead. Secondly, he didn't do it for Jefferson. He did it for himself. Jefferson didn't want him to do any more photo sessions of his own. Nathan didn't do what he did to Rachel and Chloe because he thought he would impress his father figure. He did it, because he developed a taste for Jefferson's revolting kind of "art". He wanted more. For himself.

This is why I find the voicemail he left Max completely insincere. Who used you, Nathan? Did Jefferson tell you to drug Rachel and Chloe? Nobody told you to do that. That was your choice. Nobody else's.

In the Bay ending, where Nathan is released from prison after mere three years (this is established in Season 2) I'm certain he would go back to his old ways, emboldened by his total impunity. He would find other girls like Chloe. Girls he would on one hand call "whores" and pretend to be disgusted with. But on the other hand he wouldn't be able to keep his hands away from those "whores". He would have to study them for his "art". There would be more shallow graves around Arcadia Bay.

I like to imagine that after Chloe played the matchmaker between Samantha Myers and Nathan, Samantha had a shot at healing Nathan with her love. I want to think that everyone, no matter how broken, can be saved with love. I imagine a timeline where Samantha managed to teach Nathan that love, kindness and friendship bring far greater pleasure than cruelty, hatred and hurting others ever could. In doing so, she would save Nathan. And by saving Nathan, she would save Rachel, Kate, Chloe and ultimately the entire town. The smallest person changing the course of the future, indeed.

But unfortunately sometimes love, no matter how sincere, is not enough. Sometimes people harden their hearts and reject it. And that's how someone starts treading the path of evil. By rejecting love.

[fleetstreetpies]

TW: mental health problems, psychosis, open and graphic discussion of my hallucinations and delusions, mental health meds, mental health med side effects, medical inaction, medical malpractice.

Content under the cut.

Good god it’s happening again. It’s getting REALLY bad again.

I’ve been on a mood stabiliser for about a year now, and I’ve been VERY open with my psychiatrist about a lot of the complications I’ve faced, like needing my dose increased, nausea and headaches from increasing my dosage, persistence of mania, night terrors, delusions, etc. And now the delusions and hallucinations are worse than they were. They’d gotten better for a while but now here I am and good gods, I want it to stop so badly.

I want to not see things and people melting slowly. I want to not perceive that people have been replaced by near identical clones. I want to not perceive that some people are just my mother in elaborate disguise. I’d make it all stop or go away if I could, and when I was a younger man I tried, though when I tried I fully thought that I was God and could control the universe with just my thoughts.

I’ve been trying to talk to my psychiatrist about it. I need to get my mood stabiliser increased, sure, and I know that. But I also desperately need to get on an antipsychotic. And I think she thinks I’m malingering.

Do people actually think that folks with these problems are faking this? Malingering is relatively rare, and by all means, infuriating for all parties. But do the professionals genuinely think that we’re malingering? Because I’d bet (if I had money and were a gambling man) that it’s way harder to fake than you’d think. People who do that whole malingering thing unequivocally baffle me. Antipsychotics are extremely expensive and I cannot believe people would genuinely be willing to buy them and fake it for sympathy. I can’t afford 880 dollars per refill no matter how hard I try because I can barely make rent in a month (at least I get my meds through the school pharmacy where they cost way less).

So what even is the point of some other person faking it? To sell their prescription drugs for a profit on a black market? To gain sympathy? To get some kind of disability benefits?

I just need for my psychiatrist to fucking listen to me for five seconds and to actually fucking help me for once in her goddamn life when all the other doctors or professionals in their white coats and clean blouses and blazers won’t. I need help because they all fucking refuse to help me and my psychiatrist is supposed to help me. They took a vow to “do no harm”, but that vow is useless when their own inaction or bias is the cause of the harm. It’s pointless and futile! Why take a vow when you don’t even listen to the people you swore to help?

Medical inaction is ableism. Medical inaction is malpractice. Medical inaction is to be complicit in the deaths of so many mentally ill people.

Doctors say “do no harm” but they leave the mentally ill to suffer and die because “what if they’re faking it?” That’s a poor excuse to deny people adequate (read: potentially life saving) treatment and healthcare.

Shame on the pharmaceutical industry, shame on doctors, shame on malingerers, and shame on everyone complicit in the ableism, incompetence, inaction, corruption, and denial that kill.

Shame on you.

[he-they-she]

Being trans but stealth for over four years has its funny and infuriating moments. I recognize the privilege that I have passing in places that aren’t trans-friendly at all.

1) the “I got my top surgery at Claire’s” but replace it with the crappy minimum wage job you had in high school or undergrad. I want to make this joke with my friends who are considering it. I was with a friend this weekend and said balls and I said “I got my bottom surgery done at *crappy fast food restaurant*” and they were confused

2) People thinking being called cisgender is a slur. It’s not, end of discussion. I try not to get heated to protect myself

3) I take testosterone gel and I was applying it on my shoulders in front of my friend. They didn’t question it whatsoever

4) I post a lot of trans stuff on my main account where I have a few IRLs, and my friend will like and/or reblog from me

5) I mentioned something about raising (non biological kids) one day and my friend was like “you’re not going to need to worry about that” completely erasing the existence of gay trans men, also assigned bottom by them

6) I get asked a lot about what I think about trans people in sports from the perspective of a gay men, not knowing that I am a trans person in sports.

[banannabethchase]

You Play the Love (I'll Play the Lead) - also on AO3

~

Prince Matthew and Prince Nicholas have, according to their father the King, been too reckless with their safety. He hires the Blackpool Combat Club, a private security team to protect them. But they end up doing a LOT more than just that.

~

Bingo square G2 knocked out! Title inspired by Camera Shy by School Boy Humor, which is a throwback that I didn't realize I'd be experiencing tonight but here we are.

~

September the 24th, 2:57pm

Nick huffs, blowing his hair out of his eyes. “I don’t see how this is necessary.”

“You – seriously, princes, you have to be kidding me.” Sir Khan sighs. As the head of their security and protection detail after all these years, he should be used to the bad luck that follows them. “After all these years, you would have thought the two of you would understand the concern of attempts on your lives.”

“Attempt on our lives my pale white ass,” Nick scoffs. “They waved a gun in the air at a mall a building over from our event. It was barely us.”

“Yeah, his pale white ass,” Matt says, throwing Nick an infuriating smile.

“Shut up.”

Matt shoves him so hard he nearly falls into the fancy potted plant, and Sir Khan has to catch him and right him to standing.

“With all this nonsense, you’d think I’d have to arrest the two of you for trying to kill each other this much,” Khan mutters. “Alright. I’ll introduce you to your new private bodyguards now. They come highly recommended.”

“By who?” Matt asks, folding his arms in front of his chest. “I can’t imagine there’s high demand for armed security.”

“You’d be surprised, Matthew,” Khan sighs. “They’re part of an elite, highly trained community called the Blackpool Combat Club.” He pushes open a door. “Princes, please meet Jon Moxley and Claudio Castagnoli, your personal protection.

In walks two men that Nick should not find as attractive as he does. Nick blinks up. And up. And up. “Oh,” he says quietly to Matt. “Oh, I can get behind this.”

“Don’t be weird,” Matt chides, and Nick thinks he’s going to have to punch him in the throat before he adds, “he would clearly be getting behind you.”

Nick snickers. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

Sir Khan loudly clears his throat.

“Sorry,” Matt says, fluttering his eyelashes. “Sir Khan, which of these fine gentlemen will be assigned to me?”

Nick thinks Sir Khan would have to be blind and stupid to miss what Matt’s pulling here, but he also might be so sick of them at this point he’ll let anything slide just for a moment’s relief. The two gentlemen stop in front of them, a respectable distance away. “You, Matthew, are assigned to Mr. Moxley,” he says, gesturing to the shorter man with the piercing blue eyes.

“Mr. Moxley,” Matt says, stepping up to Mox. He holds out his hand. “Charmed, I’m sure.”

Moxley looks down at Matt’s hand, a little confused, then shakes it. Nick knows that Matt had expected Moxley to kiss his hand, Khan knows that Matt had expected Moxley to kiss his hand, but apparently that motion was not discussed in badass murder man club or whatever Sir Khan called it.

Matt, looking affronted but confused enough not to do anything about it, steps back. “Oh. Well, good to meet you. I’m sure we’ll enjoy each other’s company.”

Nick snorts as the same time as his bodyguard, and he catches his eye. This could be fun.

~

October the 19th, 3:23pm

Matt’s in the middle of a speech for the night’s charity event when there’s a knock on the door.

“Prince Matthew,” says Moxley. “It’s time to leave for the ball.”

“Just one minute,” Matt says, as cordially as he can get it. “I have to finish up this speech.”

Moxley huffs. “Dude – I mean, sorry, sir, so sorry. Prince Matthew, the car is outside, and I’m getting pissed off texts from Claudio that we’re late.”

“Nick and Mr. Castagnoli can chill,” Matt replies. “I’m almost done.” He gives Moxley a pointed look. “You can tell him I said that.”

Moxley is pacing, rolling his shoulders, as Matt finishes up the final touches of the speech.

“God, finally, okay. Nick and Claudio left before us. We have another car about one minute away,” Moxley says. He grabs Matt by the arm and starts pulling him. “Jesus. You hiding a bag of oranges under there?” He squeezes, sending a thrill up Matt’s spine he wishes he could ignore.

“I have nice arms,” Matt says. “I may be a prince, but I can be strong.”

“You sure fuckin’ can,” Moxley mutters.

Matt’s angsty in the car. He’s spoken at a million events before, but never in front of someone who makes him alert the way Moxley does. Their hands rest on the seat between them while Mr. Cutler, Brandon, drives them, and Matt is constantly fighting the urge to take Moxley’s hand.

They arrive to the venue, a giant convention center with a garishly big grocery store logo as its sign, and Matt exhales. “Alright. I can do this.”

Moxley offers him a sweet smile. “Nervous in front of crowds?”

“Sort of,” Matt says. “More like I’m nervous how they’ll take my speech.”

Moxley steps out of the car and walks around.

“He’s hot,” Brandon says. “If you’re not hitting that, I will.”

Matt laughs. “Sure, Brandon. And tell me what Alex thinks of that arrangement.”

“I’ll add him to my hall pass list. Alex won’t care that way,” Brandon says with a grin.

The door opens to reveal Moxley looking better than should be allowed in his suit. “Are you ready?”

“Of course.”

Matt takes Moxley’s hand to get out of the car. He’s about to step on the curb when a loud sound rings out. A sound Matt is unfortunately familiar with after one too many hostage training videos.

“Get back in the car!” Moxley yells, flattening Matt back into the limousine. He gathers their limbs and pulls the door shut with his foot, pressing Matt onto the seat. Matt has to think about his grandmother in booty shorts, about bee stings, about fifteenth century British constitutional law, anything to keep from getting the wrong thoughts. He could be getting shot at, for god’s sake. Why is he about to pop a boner?!

Moxley is muttering into his wrist walkie rapidly, and Matt could probably understand him if his blood was in his head right now.

“Mr. Moxley –”

“Quiet,” Moxley says firmly. “We can’t have any suggestion you’re in this vehicle.”

“You’re talking.”

“Yeah, nobody knows my voice, Prince Matthew,” Moxley chuckles. “They know you.”

They’re like that for what feels like ages. It’s long enough for the worry to turn into fear.

“You’re okay, I promise,” Moxley says. “Hey. You hear me? I got a gun. Nobody’s coming anywhere near you.”

“Okay,” Matt says, and looking into Moxley’s eyes calms him. “Okay.”

When the all clear comes in, Moxley does an annoyingly flawless pushup, then unlatches the door and pushes it open with his foot. “Thank Christ,” he mutters. “Worried we’d be stuck here for hours.” He smiles at Matt as he gets out of the car. “Just a car backfiring across the highway. No guns, okay? We’re good.” He pats his pocket. “Well, except for this one. And your arms.” He winks.

Matt thinks being stuck there wouldn’t be too terrible, if Brandon hadn’t been there, but he says nothing. “Thank you.”

Moxley turns to him from where he’s brushing down his suit and adjusting his collar. “For what?”

“For keeping me safe,” Matt says, taking Moxley’s hand to exit the car. “Obviously.”

“That’s my job.”

Matt shrugs. “You do it well.”

He manages to shake off the worry from the threat and he thinks the speech goes pretty well. Nick’s beside him the whole time, speaking his piece expertly. Matt wonders what he and Claudio had been doing, already at the venue when it all went down. He doubts Claudio stretched out on top of Nick like Moxley did to Matt.

He smiles.

After the speeches, during the time where Matt is preparing to meet with both citizens and annoying people of the court who pretend to like them because they have to, Moxley pulls out a chair for him.

“Thank you, Mr. Moxley,” Matt says. He realizes too late he’s flashing Moxley his best smile. Damn it.

“You know you can call me Mox, right?” Moxley says, eyes flickering from Matt’s eyes to his lips. “It’s a professional relationship or whatever, but Moxley is a little bit of a mouthful.”

Matt fights the urge to say he wouldn’t mind a mouthful of Moxley, because, as Moxley – Mox – said, it’s a professional relationship. “Mox,” he tries out. It rests nicely on his lips. “Okay. And you don’t have to call me Prince Matthew. You can just call me Matt.”

Mox’s smile lights up his face, his blue eyes crinkly and warm. “Yeah, cool. Matt.” His smile grows. “Your speech was great, by the way. I thought all you royal types were all talk. I didn’t realize you and Nick did so much for that children’s hospital.”

Matt shrugs, stepping closer to Mox when the visitors start filing into the room. He turns on the charm, and watches Mox’s expression change. “When you have this much money, you’re obligated to use it right, yeah?” He settles in his seat and feels Mox take his space behind Matt, like a guardian angel.

“I guess so,” Mox muses. His fingertips brush Matt’s shoulder, and goosebumps break out all over Matt’s skin. “You’re a good dude, Matt.”

It powers him through the whole meet and greet.

~

October the 31st, 10:30pm

Nick sways. “This is so fun,” he hiccups. “I love parties.”

“I think you have had enough to drink, prince,” says Castagnoli, and he pulls the cup from Nick’s hand and sniffs. He frowns. “Did you put ecstasy in here? GHB?”

Nick frowns. “I didn’t put anything in there. I just love parties.”

“You – that’s ridiculous,” Claudio says. “There is no way you are dancing like – like that without a bit of inebriation.”

Nick shrugs. “Maybe I just don’t live with a stick up my ass like you and your stupid Blackpool Boring Club.” He flicks his eyes up to Claudio’s face, expecting anger or rage. Something, finally, to break the mask of this guy. Nothing. Neutral as always.

“Charming,” Claudio says, but he swallows afterward. It’s at least something. “Come with me, Nicholas. I am uncomfortable with the way that man over there is eying you.”

Nick follows Claudio’s gaze to see a tall guy, older definitely, with blonde hair and a ripped as hell body grinning over at him. “Oh, him?” Nick says. “That’s Lord William Gunn. He and his sons have been close friends with our family for years. Lords Austin and Colten are kind of the worst, but Billy and I have had fun in the past.” Nick grins up at Claudio. “If you’re willing to block a door, maybe I can have some fun with him tonight.”

A shadow falls over Claudio’s face. Nick can’t read it. “Nicholas, you and I will be having a talk.” He grabs Nick by the arm and hauls him out of the room, into a new, empty room.

“What?” Nick snaps, wrenching his arm out of Claudio’s grasp. “You always get this way when I try to hook up with someone! If you hate gay shit, find yourself another assignment!”

“I do not,” Claudio says, breathing heavily but still betraying no emotion on his face, “hate, as you say, gay shit.”

“Then what the eff is your problem?!” Nick yells. “You act all stoic and bored until I hit on somebody and then you act like I’m the scum of the earth and you hate me.”

Claudio finally snaps, for the first time Nick has seen it. He strides into Nick’s space, deliciously close, until Nick’s back is up against the wall. It’s the closest they’ve been since the charity event, when Claudio and Mox had to secure Matt and Nick separately at the possibility of gunfire. Another false alarm, but Claudio hadn’t acted like it was one. He’d pressed Nick up against the wall just like he was doing now. But this is different.

“Do you believe I remain this stoic because I am not enamored of you and your insane actions?” Claudio asks. Nick’s heart is beating so hard he can hear it, and his dick is just plain old hard. “Are you truly so obtuse to believe I maintain a flat expression because I dislike being in your presence?”

Nick laughs, exhaling shakily. “I mean, that’s what I thought until right now when you’re all squished up against me.”

“I thought I was better than this,” Claudio mutters. It doesn’t seem to be directed at Nick. “I thought I was stronger than to give in to – to my basest of impulses.”

Nick reaches up and rests a hand on Claudio’s neck. “Would it help to krow that I’ve been lusting after you since the first second I saw you?”

Claudio laughs, low and unfamiliar and tantalizing. “It absolutely does not. Now I want to do even filthier things to you.”

Nick licks his lips slowly, watching Claudio’s eyes lock on them. “Then do them. Nobody else is in here.”

Claudio leans in and crushes his lips against Nick’s. He’d been imagining what it might feel like, in the darkness of his bedroom, in the palace where he sleeps alone. Wondered what Claudio’s lips would feel like against his, on his cock, other places. Biting into his skin.

Not a single instance of his imagination compares to the real thing.

“My bedroom,” Nick says, fumbling with the side of the wall.

“We’d have to pass everyone, Nicholas, and I assure you I am unable to keep my hands from betraying our situation,” Claudio growls. He locks his lips against Nick’s neck, biting down.

“Don’t need to,” Nick pants. “Got a – there.” He pulls at a candlestick and the bookcase swings open. “Passage to the living suites. For emergencies.”

“I’d say the need to fuck you constitutes an emergency,” and the way Claudio says it makes Nick practically sprint up the stairs.

Claudio fucks like a goddamn star. Nick’s glad for the noise of the Halloween party downstairs – otherwise, they’d be hearing the youngest prince say some truly filthy things in response to getting exactly what he wanted.

~

November the 23rd, 8:46pm

“That was delicious,” says Matt, sighing as he slumps back in the chair. Mox flickers a look at him, a tiny smile, and Matt looks away before he can start blushing. He wants it, he wants Mox, and he knows he can’t. But it’s there. He can feel it. “We should make dinner more often.”

“We should effing not,” Nick says, rolling his eyes. “The food is good, but you’re a bitch in the kitchen.”

“I am not!”

“To be fair, Prince Matthew, you did call Nick a ‘brainless oaf’ when he gave you the wrong can of beans, so I’m unsure you’re in the place to contradict him.”

Matt frowns and slumps in the chair, pouting his brain out. Mox bumps him, gently, on the shoulder with the back of his hand. It’s suddenly all better. “Well,” Matt says. “Maybe we’re lucky for the storm, you know? Get all snowed in together.” He may have imagined it, but he thinks Nick and Claudio exchanged some sort of look. He’s been getting something lately from the two of them. He’s not sure what.

“Well,” Matt says. “Mox – Mr. Moxley, and Mr. Castagnoli, with all the storms outside it’s unreasonable to assume the two of you will be returning home. We have plenty of guest lodging in our palace. You’re welcome to stay here.”

Nick and Claudio share a look again. Matt should be able to figure this out, if Mox wasn’t so goddamned close.

“Well,” Nick says. “I’ll show Mr. Castagnoli to his quarters, yes?” He leans over and kisses Matt on the cheek, which they do, sometimes. But not when they’re in the same place for a long period of time. “Good night!”

Matt watches the way Nick’s hand reaches for Claudio, then reconsiders.

Ah. So Nick has a crush. Pity on him, Matt supposes. On both of them.

It’s just him and Mox in the small dining room now, the palace disconcertingly quiet with the household staff and his father elsewhere due to delayed flights and treacherous roads. It feels too intimate for the way Matt thinks about Mox when the lights are out and the halls are empty.

“So,” Mox says, bumping Matt’s knee with his own. “Chilly out, isn’t it.”

Matt nods, unsure why his heart is suddenly beating so hard. “Really chilly. The rooms upstairs will be warmer than here, though.”

“Still,” Mox says, drawing a picture on the table with the condensation from his glass of water. “You might get cold.”

“Probably,” Matt sighs. “This place is so old. It gets really drafty.”

Mox looks at him, a little humor in his eyes. “I’m your bodyguard.”

“Correct.”

“So I should, like, keep you comfortable, right?”

“You should,” Matt says. He’s so focused on the warmth spreading from Mox’s thigh to his own he can’t think straight. “Part of your job, right?”

“What if,” Mox says, and he leans in, just far enough that Matt could pull away if he needed to. Like he’s waiting for Matt’s permission. It feels strange – Matt’s always felt like he’s the one who would have to ask Mox, so he didn’t feel like he had to. But here’s Mox, leaning in, keeping space, like he’s worried he’ll spook Matt. “God, Matt, this is weird. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, and I can get myself reassigned, if you want. We got this new kid in the Club, Wheeler Yuta, he’s been training under Sir Page and he’s good.”

Matt blinks. “Reassigned?” he asks. “Why the eff would I want that?”

Mox sighs, looking upward. “God, you’re gonna make me say it. You’re the worst.” He looks at Matt. “Being attracted to a client is against company policy. I should resign right now.”

Blinking, Matt pushes his leg against Mox. “What if the client is attracted to you, too?”

Mox lights up in that way of his. Matt’s heart is about to offer itself to Mox, no strings attached, because of that look. “Really?”

“Yes – I didn’t want to say anything because you’re kind of my employee, and that’s weird, right? If I push it, you could be obligated, and then you’re all coerced, and I never would want to make you feel like you have to –”

Matt’s final words are swallowed by Mox’s lips against his, dissipating into the air as Matt’s hands slide around Mox’s neck. It goes for so long Matt can’t remember the last time he breathed, and he’d be content to never do it again if he could do this in its place forever. Mox pulls back first, though, and leans his forehead on Matt’s.

“I’ve been wanted to do that since I first saw you, my prince,” Mox breathes.

“Same,” Matt giggles. “Um. So, it could be chilly. Tonight. Maybe we could have a sleepover?” He pulls away, meeting Mox’s pretty blue eyes. “Keep each other warm.”

“Oh,” Mox says, and the way he looks at Matt’s mouth is addictive. “I’ll keep you warm alright, baby, don’t you worry.”

~

December the 25th, 5:o3pm

“I got you something,” Nick says. He pulls the box out from his pocket. “Um, more than the King’s general gift from earlier tonight. Here.” He half shoves it into Claudio’s hands.

“This is most improper,” Claudio says, glancing around. Nick’s not sure why. He locked the door to the room.

“I thought you like it when I’m improper,” Nick retorts.

Claudio laughs. “Nicholas, my dear. You shouldn’t have.” He touches his pocket and pulls something out. “But I have a little something for you, too. Something discrete, so no one would know it’s from me.”

Discrete. Nick forces himself to not be disappointed. This thing with Claudio is more than he deserves. Asking for this to be in the open isn’t fair. Nick takes the box, and flips it open to see a beautiful watch. It’s smaller than he’s usually gifted, more delicate.

“I remember you said once you feel your watches are too large for your taste,” Claudio explains. “I spoke to my cousin back home and she was able to procure this unique design. I said nothing of who it was for, though,” Claudio adds hastily.

Nick cradles the watch in his hands. “It’s beautiful, Claudio,” he whispers. “Will you help me put it on?”

Claudio’s fingers against his skin as he clasps the watch are almost too much. “A perfect match,” Claudio murmurs. He presses his lips to Nick’s temple.

“Yours!” Nick says. “Please, open yours, Claudio.”

Claudio flips the box open to reveal the specially designed, bespoke cuff links. Tiny coffee mugs, with the smallest detail Nick could muster. “These are delightful, Nicholas!” Claudio says, and he smiles more openly than Nick’s ever seen. “How did you…?”

“You love your suits, but you’re always playing with the sleeves,” Nick says, basking under the praise. “All the normal cuff links are boring. These are special. Yours.”

Claudio yanks Nick in and kisses him, hard and rough and, well, Nick would say possessive if he thought Claudio truly wanted to possess him. “You are a marvel, Prince Nicholas.”

And I’m yours, Nick adds in his head, but he says nothing out loud.

~

December the 31st, 9:45pm

Matt’s pretty sure he’ll be naked on this couch within the next five minutes, in the middle of the New Year’s Party, without locking the door, if he doesn’t cool himself down. The necklace Mox had given him for Christmas the week before hangs between the two of them, a reminder of what they are. He won’t cool down, though. He’s willing to risk it. No on before Mox has ever been worth the risk.

He’s sliding his hands under Mox’s shirt, open mouth against Mox’s –

The door bangs open.

“Oh my god!” Matt shrieks when he sees the figure in the door.

“Sorry!” shrieks Nick, scrambling out of the room. He slams the door shut.

Matt buries his face into Mox’s neck. “He’s going to tell everyone.”

Mox starts to laugh, smoothing a hand down Matt’s back. “No, he’s not.”

Matt pulls back, frowning. “I’m fairly certain I know my brother better than you know him, Mr. Moxley.”

Mox reaches up and slides his hand underneath Matt’s shirt, up the back of it. “Do you know he and Claudio have been hooking up for weeks now?” He drags his nails down, making Matt’s vision go all blurry. “Before even we did, which means my moral compass is stronger than Claudio’s.” He laughs, pulling Matt in so he can unbutton his shirt and suck a kiss below his collarbone. “I’m gonna lord this over him for years.”

“You mean you’ve been – oh, my – telling me we’ll get in trouble if we get caught, all while you knew they were hooking up?” Matt can’t decide if he wants to push forward toward Mox’s mouth or back where his hands are gripping his ass.

“You liked sneaking around,” Mox laughs against Matt’s skin. “Got you off. It was fun.”

Matt blushes. “Well, when you put it that way.” He leans in and kisses Mox with the hope for the future. They’ve been walked in on once. What are the odds it’ll happen again?

After Mox works him up to the point of desperation, ages and ages of lips and hands and teasing, Matt’s about to pull all of his clothes off. Then the door bangs open again, and Sir Page is standing there, looking frantic.

“Prince Matthew, have you seen your – oh my god.” He freezes in the doorway, blinking. “Well. Isn’t this cozy.”

“Go fuck yourself, Sir Dickwad,” Mox says, so casually Matt can’t quite figure out what’s going on. “We’re good here.”

Sir Page rolls his eyes. “Jesus, man, get it together. Prince Nicholas is missing, you dick. We need to secure Prince Matthew.”

Mox snaps into professional mode, and Matt gets a little dizzy with the way Mox stands, arms around Matt’s back, then settles him to the floor. “Missing?” he asks. “I’ve secured this room, so he’s safe in here. We just saw Nicholas a few minutes ago. He managed to get lost?”

“He lost contact at,” he looks down at his watch, “10:26pm, so 30 minutes ago. Castagnoli’s MIA, too, so we can only hope they’re together.”

Mox clears his throat, and Sir Page raises an eyebrow. “Got something to say?”

“I just…” Mox sighs. “Look, if you can keep this under wraps, I think I know where they are.”

“You do?” Matt asks. He realizes he should probably get off of Mox’s lap, because they’re both still hard and it’s kind of distracting, but he doesn’t.

Mox nods and drops his head back against the couch. “When we find Nick, I’m killing him. Fuckin’ cock block.”

“I’d really rather not know all of this,” Sir Page says. “I’ll let the team know they’re secured, as long as you can confirm for me. Mr. Yuta will join me as additional backup, in case we have to worry about combat.”

“You won’t,” Mox groans.

Sir Page rolls his eyes. “How could you possibly know that?”

“Because I know exactly where they are. I can almost guarantee it.”

“I won’t call off the search until I can get eyes,” Sir Page says, and Matt really does value his friendship. He’s looked out for Matt and Nick since they were kids, him and Brandon. Everyone else left once Lord Kenneth – Kenny – moved to Japan. “Take me to them.”

Mox looks over to Matt. “Yeah, okay. But, Matty, you’re not gonna like it.”

Mox is right.

Matt opens the door to the car, driven expertly if a little recklessly, by Mox to reveal a casino.

“Oh, Nicky,” Matt sighs as Sir Page helps him out of the car and delivers him to Mox’s protective arm. “What have you done?”

~

December the 31st, 11:38pm

Nick buries his face in Claudio’s chest as he laughs. “Three thousand dollars, baby!” He looks up at Claudio, whose smile is almost impossible to stand. “Told you. I’ve got a gift.”

“You do, darling, but I would not consider your gambling addiction a gift.” He does a quick look around, then yanks Nick and kisses him. Nick’s entire brain spins. They’ve never done this in public. Claudio’s never allowed it before.

Nick pulls back, head still in the clouds but eyes on Claudio. “You’re kissing me around other people.”

“I am.”

“You said we couldn’t do that.”

Claudio glances around again. “We are disguised, dear prince.”

“Still,” Nick says, fiddling with Claudio’s fingers where they’re curled around the hem of Nick’s shirt. “I’m not that well disguised. People could see us.”

Claudio sighs, but his expression is still fond. “Let them see, my prince. I’m tired of hiding.”

Nick yanks Claudio in by the collar and kisses him without hesitation. The machines ping around them, and Nick reaches blindly and takes the casino slip that he’ll turn in to the counter.

He grins, stupid with it all. “I think I’ll donate this to the elementary school we visited. Those teachers need new desks.”

Claudio laughs, pressing a kiss to Nick’s forehead where the hoodie fell back. “Teachers need more than three thousand dollars for a whole set of desks, but I am more than certain that you could acquire the funds.”

Nick’s not sure what he’s about to say back, just that he’s going to say something. He doesn’t get the chance.

“Nick, you fucking douchebag.”

Nick’s head whips around to see Sir Page looking a strange combination of infuriated and relieved.

“You’re the fucking worst,” Sir Page grumbles. “Fuck. I’ve been running around thinking you died, and you’re here making money with your stupid good luck.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I fucking hate you, you know that?” He strides in and yanks Nick into a massive, bone crushing hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay, Nicky. Don’t scare me like that.”

Matt throws himself into the hug, too, and the commotion seems enough that they’ve drawn a crowd.

“That’s Prince Matthew and Prince Nicholas!” some girl shrieks from across the room.

Matt freezes, looking at Mox panicked.

“Why is Mox’s hand in your back pocket?” Nick asks, bewildered.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Nicholas. Why are you wearing Claudio’s hoodie?”

“Fair point,” Nick says, turning away. “We’ll have to tell Father about this, won’t we.”

Matt sighs so deeply Mox has to steady him. “Yeah. At least we already know he approves of their character.”

“We’ll worry about all that tomorrow, banes of my existence,” Sir Page says with a smile. “Right now. Let’s get you home before the paparazzi really swarms us.”

~

January the 2nd 2:25am

From the desk of the King, dictated to Renee Paquette for immediate release.

To be sent to all media outlets prior to any further releases. Intended to blockade and suffocate any unfavorable perspectives of the events of New Year’s Eve.

It is my joy to announce courtships of both of my sons. Though past courtships have ended less than favorably, I am happy to announce that I have, in admittedly different circumstances, previously vetted and approved of the presence of their current suitors in my sons’ lives in previous instances.

Matthew, my eldest in line for the throne, would like to introduce the country to Jonathan Moxley. His experience with the Blackpool Combat Club security team demonstrates a commitment to safety and security, and bodes well for a relationship for our country’s prince.

In a similar vein, Prince Nicholas found solace and joy in the heart and arms of Claudio Castagnoli of the Blackpool Combat Club. Castagnoli has connections to the Swiss royal family, and I look forward to a positive relationship with Her Majesty.

It is of utmost importance we allow privacy and respect as my sons navigate the early stages of their relationships. Questions and comments will be immediately dismissed. Journalists insistent on violating this boundary will be removed from the premises and stripped of royal reporting privileges.

I wish the country, my sons, and their partners a fruitful new year and a joyful January.

With hopes for the future,

King James

~

Mini Playlist:

Camera Shy - School Boy Humor

King of My Heart - Sub-Radio

Heaven Can Wait - We the Kings

Castle in the Sky - Kim Petras

[mostlyjels]

2 out of 100 days of productivity

જ⁀➴date: October 16, 2023

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 goals for today: 　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

- finish beneficiaries for practical research - make pr2 reviewer

―୨୧⋆ ˚ entry: - we had to read a lot of literary pieces from the american period and all of them were interesting, but what we discussed today was “dead stars” by paz marquez benitez. i was this close from dying, because of how infuriated i was with alfredo. that little piece of shit. my favorite part of our discussion was at the last part, where it was concluded that alfredo only loves himself and his idea of love (because he is a cheater!!!!!!) - another significant event today was the entrep quiz that i studied for yesterday. i think i did fine. - i was looking forward to biology today, because my teacher is really great at teaching. unfortunately she wasn’t available to teach class so she just made us jot down lecture notes. ngl, i kinda liked the vibe of just focusing on writing with music playing in the background. - for the first time in forever, i finally went home on time! i didn’t have to stay back at school anymore for random group works or what not. - i’m starting again at 6pm, because i clearly like doing everything aside from my schoolwork! procrastination is really getting the best of me, but atleast i didn’t push this onto midnight like i did last time. - finished my task at around 7:25pm...

[tuiyla]

You might have not have an opinion on this but I’ve been rewatching Grilled Cheesus and I feel like the framing is so weird?? It’s fundamentally about Kurt and his dad and since they start the whole religious thing FOR Kurt to support him, the issue shouldn’t be religion. As soon as Kurt said he didn’t everybody to pray for him in school, and that it made him uncomfortable enough to complain, it should just be done. Everybody can pray themselves, leave the Hummels out of it. Thoughts?

I have thoughts!

I have a vague memory of debating this with people on the sub, back in the day because the framing is so weird. It's that Glee problem of feeling like they must suddenly be a PSA and present all angles, even at the cost of character and a satisfying narrative. The other glaring instance I can think of is the suicide discussion scene with the God Squad in 3x14. Why must they always do this with Kuinn?

The problem with Grilled Cheesus is that it's trying to be Kurt's story but also wants to present this middle road of "religion works for some and not for others". And there aren't any inherent problems with that messaging. It's perfectly valid for people to seek comfort in religion and equally valid for others not to want anything to do with it. But this is Kurt's story and he makes his feelings clear. It's frustrating to watch characters cross his boundaries and insist that he's being ungrateful when he's already going through an extremely traumatic time. I honestly don't know why Glee thought this was the way to achieve balance.

I think everyone is being kind of a prick to Kurt in this episode, frankly. Even sweet Mercedes whose good intentions I appreciate and I usually stan is being way too pushy with her closest friend. All Kurt needed was her support and respect and Mercedes is usually excellent at giving that but the episode uses her and Quinn as religious spokespeople. They're ideas in Grilled Cheesus, not people. At least Mercedes is still more respectful than Quinn but even she's being way too pushy. No should be no. And even if some of Kurt says is harsh, he's still allowing people to do whatever they want with their faith and is just asking them to leave him and Burt alone. The prayer scene in the hospital feels particularly disrespectful. Because yes, who knows how Burt feels and it can't hurt, but Kurt has explicitly asked them to back off. Pray at home or at church, ffs! And no, I don't think Carole had the 'authority" to overwrite Kurt's wishes in this particular case. If anything, Carole should have stood behind Kurt.

The characters advocating for religion or even a conversation really betray that they aren't truly in it for Kurt. Otherwise, they would have left well enough alone the moment Kurt expressed discomfort. There's a time and a place for civil debates but right after his dad's heart attack ain't it. And I love Quinn and write a lot about how dirty she was done and all that so I feel I have permission to say this but she just really sucks in this episode. She feels so entitled and makes it clear that her making a statement about faith is more important to her than Kurt's feelings. I wouldn't say someone like Sue who is ardently on the opposite side is much better because she doesn't have Kurt's best interests in mind, either, but she's at least a little more supportive. And she's supposed to be the villain! And don't get me started on William Shitecester who takes this as an opportunity for dialogue. What a shit teacher you must be to prioritize a lesson over the wellbeing of a student in crisis.

I also dislike how people ignore Kurt's valid reasons to dislike religion, again a sign of hypocrisy. Because yeah, Kurt is being kinda harsh but who wouldn't give him a pass in this situation, and the ignorance of the Glee Club to not consider the church's historic distaste for gay people is infuriating. Easy to say god welcomes everyone or whatever when people like you haven't been persecuted for hundreds of years. And as all this is going on Kurt is getting severely bullied at school for being gay so what excuse do they have for not taking his identity into consideration? That they don't really care. Everyone is so self-absorbed and self-righteous in this episode it's painful to see.

The audacity of people to call Kurt ungrateful and intolerant is what pisses me off the most. On the one hand, the episode works well to establish how alienated Kurt is starting to feel even within the New Directions and it builds towards him going to Dalton, which I like and consider good storytelling. On the other, it's incredibly frustrating to watch this kid be so isolated when he would need his friends the most just because Glee decided (and in-universe Schue) that they wanted to preach about religious tolerance. Just leave the damn kid alone. It's just one of those instances where we should not be having philosophical discussions; literally who gives a fuck, Kurt might lose his only living parent! So Grilled Cheesus as a whole is a frustrating watch despite me appreciating certain storytelling elements.

If anything, Anon, I have too many opinions on this. Some of it is strong feelings about the injustice and hypocrisy of it all but the rest are just frustrations on a story level because it feels so unnecessary. But the bottom line is that Kurt was right and his friends should have respected him more than their religious preaching. And again, just pray at home or go to church and discuss it with your pastor. Not the time to try and convince your friend that religion can be good, actually. Who gives a fuck, literally read the room Stacy.

[thefemcelthatdeservesbetter]

People

there's one of my classmate that i really hate, he's so.... confusing. I really can't understand people, but I'm sure all he is is a bad person. I've heard him say unflattering stuffs about me while joking with a bitch from my class. He always tell me "oh my god you're so pretty" while laughing, ironically to jeer at me. That girl he always talks to laughs as well. She's such a hypocrite slut because sometimes she tells me I'm cute, but with a sincere tone. What kind of assholes are they exactly??? I wish they could die! And sometimes that boy asks me sincerely "hey are you okay?" Is he stupid? I don't understand how can you care about people's feelings and yet mock them. It's hypocritical. His father died a year ago, so i try to think he's not that bad of a person and i should be more considerate.... No! who cares about his dad?! It's not a reason to be mean.... Being fatherless shouldn't justify any rude behavior. Why don't they just laugh at that other girl from my class? She's really ugly, uglier than me! I hate her because she's so quiet. People would say "how can you hate someone introverted and quiet if you are like that too?" Well i don't care, i don't need to have a reason, and so what? I'm not hurting anyone, I'm only hating her silently. While they lower my self esteem and make me insecure, just for the sake of amusement. And yet, people would judge me ruder than them, because they're only "having fun" and I'm hating for no reason.

The thing is that what he says hurts me, as if i wasn't insecure enough, but it's not bullying. I wish they could just bully me already, so at least I'd know how to feel about this whole situation. I wish someone would sexually harass me after school so at least I'd get... some sort of attention. I wish someone would care enough to hit me, to rape me, to torture me even. I want to be a victim!

My online (boy) friend still hasn't texted me. I wonder if i should text him first, but I'm scared I'd annoy him. Sometimes i don't have much to say so our conversations are boring. But now i have so many things to tell him! I've been having conversations with him in my head every night before sleeping this whole week. It's really fun..... I hope that ghosting me doesn't mean our friendship is over. I haven't spent enough time texting him. Maybe he hates me?

I don't know a lot about politics but communism would be great in my opinion.

I wanna throw up

I hate school so much, those people are so infuriating..... They scare me a lot.

When i get comfortable with someone i yap constantly and non stop. I think it's really annoying,since people don't care about what i say. I miss the times when conversations were just about cartoons or "hey, can you count til 100? Well i can!" I think it'd still be really interesting topics to discuss.... I think i can count til 100000

One two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty one twenty two twenty three twenty four twenty five twenty six twenty seven twenty eight twenty nine thirty thirty one thirty two thirty three thirty four thirty five thirty six thirty seven thirty eight thirty nine forty forty one forty two forty three forty four forty five forty six forty seven forty eight forty nine fifty fifty one fifty two fifty three fifty four fifty five fifty six fifty seven fifty eight fifty nine sixty sixty one sixty two sixty three sixty four sixty five sixty six sixty seven sixty eight sixty nine seventy seventy one seventy two seventy three seventy four seventy five seventy six seventy seven seventy eight seventy nine eighty eighty one........ Ugh i won't finish, I'm too lazy.

I've watched All About Lily Chou-Chou, i kind of liked it, even if i didn't really understand what was the movie about. I wish i could be raped just like that girl in it. Or maybe have sex with older men and gain money from it just like that other girl.

I hate girls so much

I hate other girls

I like my best friend though. My sisters and my mom as well.

I hate all the others. They're whores. They always talk to boys, always look pretty, always smiling, always surrounded by hundreds of friends. It's their fault i don't have any friends, they steal them. It's their fault i don't have a boyfriend, they make boys' standards inhumane and unreachable. It's really unfair.

I wonder if anyone ever thought about dicking me down while looking at me.

Haha sometimes when i read what i type i think about how pathetic it is! It's weird, creepy, and it's miserable! I'm really stupid.i wonder if I'll be that stupid even when i grow up.

I think and wonder a lot, must be what's stopping me from being joyful. Or maybe it's the opposite? Imagining and getting lost in my thoughts helps escape life somehow.

It sort of frustrates me and saddens me to realise that I'm not as important as i think i am. I don't actually deserve what i think i do, i barely exist, I'm insignificant and worthless. I'm not special, no matter how much i wish to be. I'm a nobody. And it's stupid and foolish but writing about it makes me feel a little more valuable.