#a little dog and all of my childhood things
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i’m now realizing that literally like. 3 of you know about The List of my upcoming fics that I plan on posting here so I thought I’d share some of my WIP list!! ofc this isn’t EVERYTHING on my WIP list (this is only 12 of them) but these are some of the fics I’m working on <3 oyabun gojo and the first tattoo artist geto will probably be the first two I post but welllll we’ll see
1. In which tattoo artist Suguru talks so sweet and showers you in praise while doing the nastiest, freakiest, non god honoring things to you. (fem!reader)
snippet: He pulls out, cockhead drooling like a dog pining after a bone, and you whine at the loss. You’re plenty wet enough from cumming twice already, but, well… without a word, he allows saliva to pool in his mouth and Suguru crooks his neck to properly angle himself over your back.
Beneath him, you bend like a cat in heat, muscles visibly quivering beneath your sweat-slicked skin that isn’t covered by your dress as you try to mindlessly push back against him, profanities absorbed by the pillow your mouth is pressed into. You’re petal-soft beneath his hands; you unfurl like one, too.
Suguru doesn’t spit— he parts his lips, letting a glob of saliva roll down his tongue slow and molasses-like until it snaps and splatters where your cunt draws him in, long sooty eyelashes fluttering in expected surprise at the cool temperature of it. You hiss, shuddering. That’s when he slowly feeds the rest of his inches back into you, stirring the frothy honey pot of saliva, cum, slick.
“Nasty fucking freak,” you manage to rasp around a moan that comes out quaky at the drag of Suguru’s cock piercings against your tender inner walls.
2. In which you and Satoru get drunk and nasty in the bathroom at a college party. (fem!reader)
snippet: It doesn’t seem to end. Satoru’s shoulders shake and he laughs himself fucking sick, to the point that it makes his vision swim and he teeters. Oh, he’s gone. The man is finished. He can barely stand without wobbling, let alone undress.
”Sweeee—“ A hiccup interrupts him, “eeets. Need y’r help with m’pants. ‘Slike— ‘slike made of butter or sumthin’, dunno. Pleaseee, need ‘em off,” Satoru whines pathetically between giggles as he tries to hump against you like a dog in heat. He’s beyond drunk on love and alcohol.
3. In which Satoru firmly denies that he’s in love with you, his childhood best friend— when he actually has been for his entire life. (gn!reader)
snippet: It bothers him more than he’d like to admit. Because fuck, Satoru wishes he could call you his. Each reminder that you’re not makes him feel weirdly sensitive, so he just smiles sharply and waves it off. It’s worse when you laugh whenever someone brings it up.
You’re the first person he’s ever taken along on an overseas trip with his family as a plus one. He’s the first person you’ve ever taught how to carve a pumpkin. They’re each other’s many firsts.
(He wishes you had been the first person he was ever intimate with.)
You’re his first crush, too. Of course you are. He’s been hopelessly, awfully in love with you since they built a sandcastle together that fateful first day on the beach and you announced that they’d ‘share’ the mini bedroom (which was impossible). Still, little Satoru had flushed a bright red and took great interest in the seagull stealing someone’s chips.
But Satoru can’t just upturn their friendship with his own selfishness. No way. He firmly buries all thoughts of that with the occasional hookups with randos or short-lived relationships.
It’s best this way.
4. In which Oyabun Satoru and his wife, one of his secretaries, get down and dirty in his office. (fem!reader)
snippet: Looking down at you through long white lashes that flutter like the first snowfall of winter, his gaze is a mix of playfulness and appreciation in its rawest form. Satoru has to admit, this view is far more pleasant than any spreadsheet that he was pretending to give his attention to before you strode in.
Your perch on his desk gives you an air of sophisticated dominance that makes his cock give a very interested twitch in his trousers that he can’t help. Sue him for being horrendously attracted to his wife. Though he towers over you by a mere head due to the slight height advantage that his desk gives you, there’s no doubt that he yields completely and utterly to you. His brain conjures up an image of Nike, the Greek goddess of victory. Glorious and championing above the rest of them; victorious.
Woof, he thinks unintelligently.
5. In which tattoo artist Suguru’s roommate has been borrowing his clothes and he’s struggling with the feelings that come with it. (fem!reader)
snippet: You always look so cozy in his clothes that you look more natural wearing them than he does. His brain tends to bluescreen whenever he spies you in them, his thoughts unhelpfully providing frankly delusional and unrealistic scenarios where you’re wearing them because you’re dating him and take comfort in your ‘boyfriend’s’ clothes.
Those thoughts are dangerous enough on their own. But combined with the images that flash through his head of what you look like beneath his tops, which he remembers vividly from the day he pierced your nipples where you not only took your shirt off but he touched your bare skin with his gloved fingers, too… they’re lethal.
Personal boundaries are blurring more than usual. Though it’d be smart to draw a line in the sand and bar you from taking his stuff, Suguru can’t bring himself to do so. Not when seeing you in his clothes secretly flusters and warms him at the same time.
Letting you continue to borrow them is harmless. Surely.
6. In which you and Satoru become parents in their fourth and last year at Jujutsu High. (fem!reader)
snippet: One of his biggest solaces is that it won't always be like this— the constant exhaustion, the anxiety. Someday, they'll find their footing and learn how to balance it all. When you and Satoru graduate, they won’t have to stay in their cramped dorm with their bed in one corner, a crib in the other, and the tiny kitchenette full of baby bottles, sweets, and instant ramen. He’ll buy them all a nice big house with a backyard for Satoshi to play in.
(Being a father at eighteen years old, a partner, a student, and the strongest sorcerer all at once is an overwhelming balancing act. But he can't let it show. He has to be the unflappable Satoru Gojo, the man who can handle it all with a smile. He just hopes he can keep it together long enough to give his family the life they deserve.)
7. In which you, the CEO of your own company, get pregnant via artificial insemination— and your younger personal assistant, Satoru, fights for his life because he happens to love milfs. (fem!reader)
snippet: i have no presentable lines rn tewbehones
8. In which you put Satoru in his place as you shouldddd! (fem!reader)
snippet: "Ohhh fuck, your cunt is— it's s-so fucking good," Satoru slurs out, his words running together in a watery stream as he drowns in his girlfriend's perfect pussy. His fingers dig into the meat of your ass, spreading your cheeks wide and using his grip as leverage as he pumps up into you. "I need to cum so bad, sugar, please say I can. I'm your good boy, right? I've earned it, haven't I?"
9. In which Satoru realizes he’s about to lose his virginity and panics. (fem!reader)
snippet: Satoru almost responds with something like ‘if I do, I think I’ll prove the human combustion theory correct,’ or ‘are you actually about to take me to coochie-land?’ or, god forbid, ‘WOOF WOOF WOOF,’ but tries for something less brainlessly desperate.
Fuck, he needs one of those Life Alert clickers.
“This corner of your bed is the perfect spot to ponder so I’m just taking advantage of this golden opportunity, sweets. I’m thinking about the systematic oppression of women so hard right now,” Satoru tries as he nods sagely, as if to convince himself of his own bullshit. He stares at the wall while nervously bouncing his leg.
CEO sugar daddy Suguru and sugar baby reader mini series:
10. installment 1/4: In which CEO Suguru meets you in a bar, offers to be your sugar daddy, and eats you out in the bathroom while they discuss a contract— all in one night. (fem!reader)
snippet: Perhaps you notice the wedding bands on their fingers just as Suguru has, or maybe you value yourself too much to associate with, frankly, greasy and sleazy looking pursuers. Whatever the case, you have self respect and charm in heaps. That’s something he likes.
Suguru supposes it wouldn’t hurt to try his hand at wooing you. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain— that, and he’s most certainly not gonna let that sweetheart, all pretty face no waist, get snatched up by some loser.
11. In which you, the heir to the throne, and your first ever concubine Suguru teach your second and newest concubine, Satoru, the ropes. (fem!reader)
snippet: Suguru sits up, his kimono, embellished with silvery moons, sliding off of one of his elegant shoulders. “I am here to play witness to, and aid in, your introduction to the duties of a concubine. But I did not think it would be… you, of all people, to walk through those doors.”
Throwing a tantrum without actually throwing a tantrum, Satoru kicks off his sandals and marches towards the bed. He plants one knee on the cushy edge of it, ignoring Suguru’s soft hiss of “have you no respect for Your Highness’s space?” and points at the other concubine.
“Hah? What’s that supposed to mean, you stiff-necked prude?” Satoru jabs snidely.
12. In which you and Satoru babysit your niece for the day. (gn!reader)
snippet: Satoru squats as you lead Mei to him, folding himself into something smaller and kinder for her, legs bowing out like a frog’s and blue eyes level with her round ones. You release her hand and she fidgets as she takes him in, murmuring a shy, “hi.”
“Hey, Mei. Those are some nice shoes you’ve got there,” he tells the four-year-old, internally crying and punching the floor because ohmygod those tiny little booties are killing him. Mei breaks out into a toothy grin and Satoru really does nearly punch the floor, but restrains himself as to not spook her (and invite your ire).
“We’ll have lots of fun today while your mama Sagiri is busy, okay?” He sticks out his pinky, wiggling it a little when Mei blinks curiously at him until she interlaces their pinkies in a promise. Her finger is so tiny around his, all bite-sized bones and squishy chubby skin. He beams, then peeks up at you, jokingly mouthing ‘we soooo need to steal her from your sister.’
#mommm aisha’s yapping again#I made a New Year’s resolution to finish at least one fic per month even if they’re short so… sucks in a breath…#defo posting smth this month to make up for NOTHING in January 😭😭#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gojo x you#suguru geto x reader#geto x reader#geto x you#satosugu x reader
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Some Eric headcanons cause I can't stop thinking about him
A/N: I've been on a bill skarsgard binge cause of Nosferatu and I watched this a day ago and man. 🚬🚬 I am tremendously down bad. This is purely based off the 2024 crow movie sorry '94 fans. gif belongs to @pizgif divider credit
now playing: Do I Wanna Know-Hozier
🎶He's a big big boy, the biggest boy🎶 Eric is a very tall man, he rarely uses it to his advantage. In order to seem less intimidating to people he slouches alot, he only really stands straight up if someone is pissing him off. When it comes to dating he acts like one of those giant dogs that still thinks it can fit in your lap.
You could be laying down and he'll come over with a shit eating grin on his face and lay his entire body on you like a blanket. It's basically this video. To make things worse he'll blow raspberries on your face and neck just to piss you off even more.
He'll put stuff in places you can't reach just to mess with you, he enjoys pulling harmless little pranks on you. If you're not in mood for it he'll apologize and put every thing back the way it was.
Scary dog privleges to the maximum. To the rest of the world Eric's tall stature and choice of dress are a little scary, he suffers from rbf like a mf. He looks like he's mad as hell but when you take his hand he'll give you such a sweet smile. If you're out together at a bar he'll get you both a drink. While he's gone some poor soul might try to hit you up meanwhile Eric is towering over them, drinks in hand. Once they turn around and see his face scowling at them they leave pretty quick.
Touchy tom over here is all about physical touch, in the movie he's always got Shelley within arms length. We still don't know much about his childhood but from what I could tell it wasn't a great one. Eric seems like the type of person to seek that out once he knows his partner is fine with it. It's kinda like making up for all the love he didn't get ;(
He'll always keep you close by, even if you do get some distance between you, he will find a way to creep back into the nook of your neck. You could be working or just doing a hobby you enjoy in your bedroom and he'll pace back and forth in front of the door before leaning in. That then turns into him slowly making his way into the room, he'll pick up random stuff and mess with things until he ends up next to you. Eric will be so nonchalant about it too, he'll say "Nothing good is on TV right now, just wanted to see if what you're up to is any interesting."
He'll let you color his tattoos when you're lying down, you've affectionately dubbed him your whiteboard. He hates it but he won't stop you from calling him that. If you're not coloring you're doing your own little drawing on him. He even got one of your drawings tattooed. Eric will do his own little drawings on you, some funny and other really pretty. He'll even write little messages on your skin for you to see later.
Thanks for reading! Lemme know what you think. Please like or reblog if you like my stuff.
#eric draven x reader#the crow 2024#bill skarsgard x reader#bill skarsgard fanfiction#the crow x reader#reader insert
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There is nothing I want more right now then to go home for Christmas. By god I will I make it through finals and go home for Christmas.
#shut up me#Warm and safe at home with my family#No studying no anxiety#actual snow on the ground and sub -20 weather#slow days and a giant decorated christmas tree#cheesy family friendly movies#music.. gifts... good food that I don't have to cook...#a little dog and all of my childhood things#by god take me home for christmas
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𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 🍃
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳: 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘦, 𝘩𝘶𝘨 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦 🌳 𝘭𝘰𝘭 𝘪𝘥𝘬
#cottagecore#nature#naturecore#do u like my troll? cus I fell in love with him!#the second troll like thing we saw today#it’s a sign from our norrøn god : Odin#i’m from a Viking bloodline and damn proud#lol#aaanyway#woods#and I had to add Frida! hihi#moffe went yesterday but it was just a little trip because she’s gotten sick and I’m very worried (don’t rly wanna talk about it but yea)#and she’s old after all#almost 14. and Frida almost 2.#aaanyway (again)#isn’t this forest gorgeous??#it’s the forest of my childhood#been all over the place there#lots of ppl take walks there cus it’s perfect for just that#forest#forestcore#warmcore#photography#norway#my pics#dogs#animals#cavalier king charles spaniel#Norwegian forest
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me, before visiting star wars galaxy’s edge: okay. so you loved the force awakens as a teenager and imprinted on kylo ren for various understandable reasons, but you are 25 years old now and the sequel trilogy was disappointing post-tfa and you have not watched a star wars since you saw the rise of the skywalker, once, in theaters. you will not get that sentimental at this theme park, it will be normal and fine.
me, visiting star wars galaxy’s edge: 🥹😏🥰👍
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#forgot that i also got very attached to chewbacca bc he reminded me of my childhood dog#and teenage years dog that little guy got me through some shit#i told myself i was not doing the lightsaber thing i have NO REASON to own a lightsaber but then my dad kinda talked me into it#this was my first vacation in 5 years and i live on my own so i’m normally pretty self-limiting with expenses#it was really nice to experience something so special and i’m very grateful :)#tbh i’m kinda sad about the way the sequel trilogy is regarded now it had so much potential and a lot of people cared about it#if i had all the time in the world i would make one of those super long video essays unpacking what i loved and what i would change#sw
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finished helluva boss and now i have Thoughts
#random thoughts#hell#give me more fat characters. where is the body diversity 🔫 stop showing me twinks#i don't like that stella is so monstorously evil. like i enjoy it but i think stolas would be a more compelling character#if his cheating wasn't excused by the narrative#i think she should still be evil but less of an idiot about it#like for the first whatever years of their marriage they're partners who work together to raise their daughter. like platonic life partners#and stolas is like 'Yes this Must be what love is' because he Does care for her but he doesn't have the life experience to quantify it#so when he and blitzo meet (btw i Do think the 'they were childhood friends' thing is. lame? it's lame)#he gets swept away by just how much he's feeling#so he has an affair which he's hiding from his wife until some pictures of stolas and blitzo hit the tabloids#nothing TOO incriminating so the cat's not out of the bag but enough where he's like 'shit man i have to tell my wife'#so he does and he's thrown off by how much more worried she is about their image (and how stolas may ruin it)#than she is about their relationship#so she's preparing all this damage control and he's like '? excuse me? i CHEATED on you are you? are you not getting that?'#and then she reveals that yeah of course they're in a loveless marriage she thought he KNEW#the IMPORTANT thing is not risking their REPUTATION stolas!!!#so basically she's been kind to him all these years to make the best out of a bad situation and doesn't really actually like him as a person#so she's like 'you can fuck your little imp all you want just keep it where no one can see you'#and when he eventually DOES divorce her she's PISSED because how DARE he ruin the life SHE worked so hard on???#and that's when she starts trying to get him assassinated before the divorce can be finalized (so she can inherit)#(i know there's different inheritence laws in universe but i don't remember then rn okay sue me)#and maybe if she's afraid of octavia inheriting before her she could be like 'actually she was never his so we never had a true heir'#because she HAS cheated on him before and oh god now i really like the idea of octavia not being stolas's biological daughter#basically my ideal stella is hannah gill but one who thought truman was aware their marriage was a sham#haha 'you thought we were in love? that i loved YOU? i knew you were sheltered but i didnt think you were that STUPID'#the closest she gets to being upset about the affair personally is that he cheated on her with an IMP??? are you TRYING to make her look BAD#but back to octavia because now i'm like a dog on a bone and i NEED to explore the idea of her not being stolas's#it's revealed by stella during the show and when octavia comes of age she gets some sick new secondary traits from her bio dad#her sperm doner (as she calls him) is some kind of predator to owls
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official skyjacks tumblr reblogged my Captain Orimar Vale Thirstposting i take this as validation. a badge. a sign that i am correct and he is, in fact, breathtakingly hot no matter how alive he may happen to be at any point
#Universe Ends Posts#Campaign Skyjacks#it was such a moment to open tumblr and see a buncha notifications#and realize it was bc campaignskyjacks themselves decided me swooning over Captain Orimar Vale#was a worthwhile addition to their blog#and they're correct people do NOT appreciate Orimar enough everyone needs to get on my level#i am not joking about the thirst but i do wanna say that every move Nathan Blades makes with Orimar is incredible#every facet of him and the way he used to be and the way he is now#and how thats been affected by dying and now being alive again-#it paints SUCH a picture it makes me wanna gnaw on him like a dog with bone#tell me all your inner thoughts and feelings Orimar i need to know every little thing about you#I WANNA HEAR CHILDHOOD STORIES. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
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IGNORE ME I'M SORRY I KEEP TALKING ABT IT i'm just so not used to my cat not being around and it kinda kills me inside to not hear him walking around or meowing or sleeping at the bottom of the staircase anymore... it used to be like a nightly routine where i'd go downstairs and make myself a drink and give him some water and now i just. don't even wanna go down there anymore.
#you really underestimate how different things will be when they're gone. 18 years of learning his new routines and favorite places to nap#and it's just all. gone. not like i didn't experience it but just the fact that i will never experience it with him again... it's so hard#& that's like the last vestige of my childhood gone too. i mean i got my current dog when i was around 13/14 and she's gettin' up there too#so it's just like. my life dropped out from under me and i'm desperately clinging to what is left but there's not much#everything feels so hollow and i don't know hoe to vocalize that because my family is always trying so hard to heal and i don't want to#make their grief process any harder by accidentally awakening the same latent feelings in them. or whatever#i just miss him so so much but i know we made the right choice. he was old and we had a lot of good years together and we saved him from#spending his last few days in suffering by ending his pain early and offering him as much love and warmth and comfort as we could#and i know he appreaciated it and i know he loves us all and like that's not the part i have issue with#it's just. his lack of presence. i don't deny that his ghost may be around (my famjly is very spiritual like that and i have heard him) but#physically he's gone forever except for chunks of his fur and whatever else is laying around#loss is just so fucking unfair because it's completely understandable and makes total sense but it will never ever be unable to be felt...#idk. i'm just exhausted and sad and i miss my little guy. hell i still miss my dog and that happened like 5 years ago#love never goes away it just changes shaoe and makes you really really sad and kinda wanna kill youself but that would make THEM sad#so. you gotta live. you gotta be brave.
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The way that I would love to write about these two in a fanwork? I would love to ramble about them whenever given the chance! 👀
*Casually inserts some vintage World War II-era romance between Muriel and Eustace in the tags*
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I recently watched some Courage which inspired me to doodle young versions of Eustace and Muriel. Probably in their 20's or something.
#reblog#courage the cowardly dog#muriel bagge#eustace bagge#cartoon network#reblogging because this has been on my mind for a little bit#i like to think that eustace was a world war ii veteran who had a rough childhood initially#eustace apparently joined with the friends he did have in order to manifest a sense of self purpose#eustace grew up not having much also#eustace felt immense jealousy after having his family prefer his older brother over him#and that jealousy was carried with him into adulthood#fast forward after the events of wwii#muriel’s working at a small cozy cafe where she is trying to make ends meet#eustace sees muriel upset probably because of war related circumstances or she had lost someone close#muriel takes note of eustace trying to provide company in some way and she is everso greatful#eustace tells muriel about the war and what all he had been through with losing his childhood friends who enlisted with him together#muriel tells him about the things she had been through while struggling to make ends meet with cooking and running her cafe#the two talk for a bit and muriel takes the first move with romance involved#eustace is reluctant but would do anything for muriel as a result of her being the only one who was and still is kind to him#in short: eustace had been through a lot with family issues and grievances#muriel is there to help him#muriel also does not have a mean bone in her body so she is willing to treat anyone with the warmth and hospitality she had given eustace#i love these two sm#i really like the fan work made for them btw! i wish there was more lol#oops i rambled again#josh.txt
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ive had enough of the people in this house
#vent#vent post#tw suicide#tw graphic#my parents never beat me they hardly ever yelled they gave us some punishments#my sister turned out semi normal except whatever shes got going on with mom#we used to fight eachother physically and thered be tears and bruises#we stopped doing that completely about a year ago#im turning eighteen after new years#the family house has been gradually shrinking overtime with me and my sister growing but still sharing one room#having three cats that come in and out of the house as they please#and now also a dog that makes lots of noise and wanders around as it wants too#i feel im not mentally strong enough#for this reality#or to keep living like this#feeling jam packed in a house with my grandparents#little to no privacy since childhood#parents that technically did nothing wrong#but something still went wrong#and things are wrong#and i really want to leave this place and go live on my own#away from all of them#i feel insane#i feel i am Going insane#and i will hurt either myself or someone in this house#i have a deep dark desire to cause harm that i haven't satiated with anything#i wish i had a billion dollars from a lottery so i could run away to my new little apartment in the middle of the city with a friend or 2#and be happy#by not having to be around family that I've had enough of#venting
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Move To A Darker Place
This is a story of Man Vs. Machine.
---
Last March, my father attempted to file his Taxes.
My beloved father is a Boomer. Unlike most Boomers, my father is rather handy with technology because he was one of the people that had a not-insignificant hand in Developing a hell of a lot of it. He was studying Computer Science at Cal Poly before the computer science degree existed. I have many fond childhood memories of skipping through the aisles of various electronic and computer part warehouses while Dad described something that either terrified the staff or made them worship him as a God. He taught himself how to use his smartphone. Internationally.
So when he saw the option to file digitally with the IRS through the “ID.me” program, he leapt at the chance to celebrate the Federal Government finally entering the Digital Age.
It was all going swimmingly for about six hours, until he was ready to file and the system told him that it needed to verify his identity.
“Very Well.” said my father, a man unafraid of talking to himself and getting something out of the conversation. “It wouldn’t do for me to get someone else’s return.”
The System told him that it needed him to take a “Digital Image ID”.
a.k.a: A Selfie.
“A-ha!” Dad beams. Dad is very good at taking selfies. He immediately pulled out his phone, snapped one, and tried to upload it.
Please log into your Id.me Account and use the provided app to submit your Digital Image ID. The System clarified.
“Oh. You should have said so.” Dad pouted, but used his phone to log onto the ID.me account, do the six security verification steps and double-checked that the filing looked the same as it did on the desktop, gave the IRS like nine permissions on his phone, and held up the camera to take his Federal Privacy Invasion Selfie.
Please align your face to the indicated grid. Said The System, pulling up a futuristic green-web-of-polygons approximation.
“Ooh, very Star Trek. Gene Roddenberry would HATE this!” Dad said cheerfully, aligning his face to the grid. My father is a bit… cavalier, when it comes to matters of personal information and federal government, because he’s been on FBI watchlists since the late 60’s when he was protesting The Vietnam War and Ronald Regan before he’d broken containment. Alas.
Anyway, there is very little information the federal government does not have on him already, but he’s as good at stalking the FBI as they are at stalking him, and had worked out a solution: He has something approaching a friendship with the local Federal Agent (Some guy named “Larry”. Allegedly), and got Larry hooked on Alternative Histories and Dad’s collection of carefully-researched “there is very likely buried treasure here” stories, and Larry is loath to bother his favorite Historical Fanfiction author too much.
But I digress.
After thinking for a minute, The System came back with an Error Message. Please remove glasses or other facial obstructions.
And here is where the real trouble began.
See, my father wears glasses that do substantially warp the appearance of his face, because he is so nearsighted that he is legally blind without them. His natural focal point is about 4 inches in front of his nose. While Dad can still take a selfie because he (approximately) knows where his phone is if it’s in his hand, he cannot see the alignment grid.
He should ask someone to take it for him! I hear the audience say. Yes, that would be the sane and reasonable thing to do, but Dad was attempting to do taxes at his residence in Fort Collins, while his immediate family was respectively in Denver, Texas and Canada. He tried calling our neighbors, who turned out to be in Uganda.
He looked down at the dog, Arwen, and her little criminal paws that can open doorknobs, but not operate cell phones.
She looked back at him, and farted.
“Well, I’ll give it a try, but if it gives me too much trouble, I’ll call Larry, and Larry can call the IRS about it.” Dad told her.
She continued to watch him. Arwen is an Australian Kelpie (a type of cattle-herding dog), going on 14 years old, deaf as a post and suffering from canine dementia now, but she still retains her natural instinct to Micromanage. She was also trained as a therapy dog, and even if she can’t hear my dad, still recognizes the body language of a man setting himself up for catastrophe.
So, squinting in the late afternoon light next to the back door, Dad attempted to line his face up with a grid he could only sort-of see, and took A Federal Selfie.
The System thought about it for a few moments.
Image Capture Failed: Insufficient Contrast. The System replied. Please move to a darker place.
“...Huh.” Dad frowned. “Alright.”
He moved to the middle of his office, away from the back door, lit only by the house lighting and indirect sunlight, and tried again.
Image Capture Failed. Please move to a darker place.
“What?” Dad asked the universe in general.
“Whuff.” Arwen warned him against sunk costs.
Dad ignored her and went into the bathroom, the natural habitat of the selfie. Surely, only being lit by a light fixture that hadn’t been changed since Dad was attempting to warn everyone about Regan would be suitably insufficient lighting for The System. It took some negotiating, because that bathroom is “Standing Room Only” not “Standing And Holding Your Arms Out In Front Of You Room”. He ended up taking the selfie in the shower stall.
As The System mulled over the latest attempt, Arwen shuffled over and kicked open the door to watch.
Image Capture Failed. Please Move to a Darker Place.
“Do you mean Spiritually?” Dad demanded.
“Whuff.” Arwen cautioned him again.
Determined to succeed, or at least get a different error message that may give him more information, Dad entered The Downstairs Guest Room. It is the darkest room in the house, as it is in the basement, and only has one legally-mandated-fire-escape window, which has blinds. Dad drew those blinds, turned off the lights and tried AGAIN.
Image Capture Failed. Please Move To A Darker Place.
“DO YOU WANT ME TO PHOTOGRAPH MYSELF INSIDE OF A CAVE??” Dad howled.
“WHUFF!” Arwen reprimanded him from under the pull-out bed in the room. It’s where she attempts to herd everyone when it’s thundering outside, so the space is called her ‘Safety Cave’.
Dad frowned at the large blurry shape that was The Safety Cave.
“Why not?” he asked, the prelude to many a Terrible Plan. With no small amount of spiteful and manic glee, Dad got down onto the floor, and army-crawled under the bed with Arwen to try One Last Time. Now in near-total darkness, he rolled on his side to be able to stretch his arms out, Arwen slobber-panting in his ear, and waited for the vague green blob of the Facial grid to appear.
This time, when he tapped the button, the flash cctivated.
“GOD DAMN IT!” Dad shouted, dropping the phone and rubbing his eyes and cursing to alleviate the pain of accidentally flash-banging himself. Arwen shuffled away from him under the bed, huffing sarcastically at him.
Image Capture Failed. Please move to a darker place.
“MOTHERFU- hang on.” Dad squinted. The System sounded strange. Distant and slightly muffled.
Dad squinted really hard, and saw the movement of Arwen crawling out from under the bed along the phone’s last known trajectory.
“ARWEN!” Dad shouted, awkwardly reverse-army crawling out from under the bed, using it to get to his feet and searching for his glasses, which had fallen out of his pocket under the bed, so by the time he was sighted again, Arwen had had ample time to remove The Offending Device.
He found her out in the middle of the back yard, the satisfied look of a Job Well Done on her face. She did not have the phone.
“Arwen.” Dad glared. It’s a very good glare. Dad was a teacher for many years and used it to keep his class in order with sheer telepathically induced embarrassment, and his father once glared a peach tree into fecundity.
Arwen regarded him with the casual interest a hurricane might regard a sailboat tumbling out of its wake. She is a force of nature unto herself and not about to be intimidated by a half-blind house ape. She also has cataracts and might not be able to make out the glare.
“I GIVE UP!” Dad shouted, throwing his hands in the air and returning to the office to write to the IRS that their selfie software sucks ass. Pleased that she had gotten her desired result, Arwen followed him in.
To Dad’s immense surprise, the computer cheerfully informed him that his Federally Secure Selfie had been accepted, and that they had received and were now processing his return!
“What the FUCK?” Dad glared. “Oh well. If I’ve screwed it up, Larry can call me.”
---
I bring this up because recently, Dad received an interesting piece of mail.
It was a letter from the IRS, addressed to him, a nerve-wracking thing to recessive at the best of times. Instead of a complaint about Dad’s Selfie Skills, it was a letter congratulating him on using the new ID.me System. It thanked him for his help and expressed hopes he would use it again next year, and included the selfie that The System had finally decided to accept.
“You know, my dad used to complain about automation.” Dad sighed, staring at the image. “Incidentals my boy! My secretary saves the state of California millions of dollars a year catching small errors before they become massive ones! He’d say. Fought the human resources board about her pay every year. I used to think he was overestimating how bad machines were and underestimating human error, but you know? He was right.”
He handed me the image.
My father was, technically, in the image. A significant amount of the bottom right corner is taken up by the top of his forehead and silver hair. Most of the image, the part with the facial-recognition markers on it, was composed of Arwen’s Alarmed and Disgusted Doggy face.
“Oh no!” I cackled. “Crap, does this mean you have to call the IRS and tell them you’re not a dog?”
“Probably.” Dad sighed. “I know who I’m gonna bother first though.” he said, taking out his phone (Dad did find his phone a few hours after Arwen absconded with it when mom called and the early spinach started ringing).
“Hey Larry!” Dad announced to the local federal agent. “You’re never gonna believe this. My dog filed my taxes!”
Larry considered this for a moment. “Is this the dog that stole my sandwich? Out of my locked car?” he asked suspiciously.
“The very same.” Dad grinned.
“Hm. Clever Girl.” Federal Agent Larry sighed. “I figured it was only a matter of time before she got into tax fraud.”
---
I'm a disabled artist making my living writing these stories. If you enjoy my stories, please consider supporting me on Ko-fi or Pre-ordering my Family Lore Book on Patreon. Thank you!
#Family Lore#Dogs#arwen#Arwen the Crime Dog#Taxes#Ronald Regan mention (derogatory)#long post under the cut#this one is funny this time#I could really use some extra tip money this month
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little white lies
summary: miya atsumu needs to find a date for his cousin’s wedding, or risk getting hounded by all his relatives prying into his business. unless said business is you—in which case, he’s all for it. maybe he can work up the courage to ask you out for real while he’s at it.
⇢ pairing: miya atsumu x fem!reader ⇢ genres: fluff, mild angst, best friends to lovers au, fake dating au, idiots to idiots in love, debatable attempts at comedy were made ⇢ word count: 9.2k ⇢ warnings: profanity, one (1) scene where atsumu is shirtless
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Miya Atsumu acknowledges the fact that he has made several stupid decisions throughout the course of his life.
There was the time he decided that dipping waffles in hot sauce would make for a tasty food combination. (It did not, and he ended up lying in bed with a stomach ache for three days with a grumbling Osamu looking after him). Then there was that incident where he proudly claimed he could crush an entire watermelon with his bare hands. (He could not, and Suna had laughed his ass off when Aran easily demonstrated the same feat).
And then, there was the time he tried to comfort you after you watched Hachiko Monogatari together. You’d been sniffling quietly, your eyes red and puffy, when he awkwardly handed you a tissue and said, “‘S okay. The dog’s probably acted in better movies.”
You’d stared at him, horrified, before bursting into tears. Osamu had walked in just in time to witness you chuck a pillow at Atsumu’s head, calling him an emotionally inept moron; he’d laughed so hard, he dropped the tub of ice cream he was holding and got mint chocolate chip all over the carpet. Atsumu still cringes whenever he thinks of it.
Nothing much has changed in Atsumu’s life. He still has a massive crush on you, and he still makes stupid decisions.
What transpired in the Miya twins’ childhood home’s sitting room fifteen minutes ago is a testament to this tragic fact.
When the Miya brothers’ cousin, Shohei, called them up to invite them to his wedding taking place in two weeks, Atsumu and Osamu were nothing short of elated. Shohei video-called them, and for a good five minutes, all Atsumu did was scream incoherently when he announced that the wedding date had been fixed. Osamu promised to close Onigiri Miya on the Saturday two weeks hence, and Atsumu made a mental note to ask Meian if he could take the weekend off.
Shohei then turned the phone to their grandmother, sitting on her favourite armchair with the pink satin cushion, wrinkles by the corners of her eyes and sagging skin by her cheeks. Atsumu’s heart lifted at the sight of her—he was her favourite grandson, after all—and when she smiled at the twins, her lips were slightly puckered because she didn’t have her dentures in yet.
But that wasn’t the important bit. It shouldn’t have been what Atsumu focused on most, as he opened his mouth to tease her. He should have been focusing on the knowing, youthful gleam in the Miya household’s matriarch’s eyes—a gleam that spelled trouble when she set her gaze straight at him.
“Well, well, if it isn’t Grandma Miya herself,” Atsumu drawled.
“Grandma Miya won’t be living for much longer,” she retorted, not one to be outdone by her own grandson.
Osamu had frowned. “Don’t say things like that, Grandma. It’s superstitious.”
Shohei had sighed dramatically, making a face at Osamu. “She does it all the time now. You should hear her go on and on. It’s good that you’re getting married, Shohei. This old woman won’t live for much longer, but at least I can see one of my grandsons getting married. Shame on the twins for making me live in suspense!” He said the last bit with an imitation of Grandma Miya’s toothless drawl, and it drew out a giggle from Atsumu and a swat on the shoulder to Shohei from the woman herself.
“Maybe I do have a girl in mind, Grandma,” Atsumu said on instinct, waggling his eyebrows. “I just haven’t told anyone yet.”
Grandma Miya’s eyebrows rose. “Oh? Is she nice?”
“The best,” he had promised. “You’ll love her.”
Beside him, Osamu had gone very still. Even Shohei quietened down, letting Atsumu and their grandmother talk. In hindsight, Atsumu probably should have realised what a horrific blunder he was making, but he had a habit of letting his mouth run loose and this was one of those times.
Grandma Miya’s eyes had lit up. She had lifted the corners of her mouth into such a wide, hopeful smile, that Atsumu felt a twinge of guilt deep in his chest for lying to her. He couldn’t take back his words, however, because Grandma Miya excitedly clasped her fingers together and said, “You’ll bring her along to Shohei’s wedding, won’t you? She must meet the rest of the family. It’ll be nice for Sakura to meet her, too.”
Shohei nodded. Sakura was his future wife, a beautiful and kind lady who complemented Atsumu’s cousin perfectly. “Sakura would love to meet someone that’s going to be part of our family.”
Osamu didn’t say anything. When Atsumu looked at him, he had his lips pressed together in a thin line. “Uh—” he began.
“No hesitating,” Grandma Miya had said firmly. “Tell her to come along. It will be fun.”
Atsumu couldn’t deny that; events that took place within the Miya family were always fun. But he couldn’t exactly create a girlfriend out of nothing, could he? Belatedly, Atsumu felt the guilt and horror of his words seep into his brain. He flashed a panicked look at his brother, but Osamu only shook his head and didn’t say anything.
He looked back into his phone screen, at his grandmother’s happy expression. If there was one thing Atsumu hated, it was letting down the people important to him.
Meekly, he nodded and forced a smile to his face. “Of course, Grandma. Don’t say I don’t do things for you.”
“Silly child,” said Grandma Miya affectionately, and that had been that.
Atsumu has since paced in front of the living room couch exactly eight times after Osamu pressed end on the call. He twirls in his spot, ready for his ninth walk around the living room. His brother sits on the sofa with one leg thrown up, watching him amusedly.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—”
“Okay,” Osamu interjects. “Swearing isn’t gon’ help your situation.”
“What else can I do?” Atsumu wails pathetically, flopping onto the sofa next to his brother. “I’m such an idiot.”
“Glad to know you’re aware.”
“Samu, what do I do?” Atsumu leans his elbows on his knees and holds his hand in his hands. “‘m so screwed.”
“Should’ve thought of that before you decided to get Grandma’s hopes up for nothin’.”
Atsumu huffs, annoyed at both himself and his brother for being so unhelpful. “I know that, asshole. I jus’ meant— What the fuck do I do about it now?”
Osamu pats his brother on the shoulder, a sympathetic look on his face. “Tsumu, I can think of only one solution.”
“What?”
“You need to find yourself a girlfriend.”
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Atsumu wrinkles his nose when you wave a bottle of some sort of bubbly, green-coloured concoction at his face. It looks disgusting even through the translucent plastic, and he has no doubt that it’ll taste twice as bad.
“Eugh. What’s that?”
“Wow. It’s so nice to see you too, Atsumu. I’ve only just flown back from halfway across the world after two weeks. No big deal at all,” you deadpan, staring at him.
“Yeah, I’m so happy you’re back, but what is that, and is it for me?”
Atsumu is glad you’re back—you’d gone overseas on your first ever business trip at the company you work at, and he’d missed your presence at the Tokyo apartment right next to his. He tries to verbalise it, but truthfully, his attention is solely fixed on the green muck you’re holding out to him.
“It is, actually,” you reply, shoving it into his waiting hands so he can scrutinise it better. You turn back and rummage through your open suitcase, pulling out an identical bottle—only this one is filled with something that looks like a cross between a squashed pumpkin and a gruesome shade of brown he doesn’t want to define. “And this one’s for Osamu. Can you give it to him the next time you go back to Hyogo?”
He lets out a sound of disgust, puffing out his cheeks and blowing a raspberry at you. “You couldn’t have gotten us somethin’ more… eatable?”
“Edible, Atsumu,” you correct, walking around the luggage strewn about your living room and plopping down on your sofa with a grunt. “This is what’s popular everywhere now. Apparently.”
“That doesn’t sound very optimistic,” he points out, sitting down next to you. Atsumu holds the drink bottle close to his face and squints at the ingredients printed on the back in a tiny font. “Is that… spinach?”
“Yeah.”
“And…” he continues, “kale? What’s a kale?”
“It’s some kind of leaf? Kinda like spinach,” you say, shrugging.
“Oh, wonderful. This is a cocktail for cows.”
You huff out a soft laugh, shoulders shaking with the movement. Atsumu grins, pleased that he’s made you smile.
“It’s supposed to be healthy, Tsumu. And you’re a professional volleyball player so I figured you’d drink stuff like this.”
“Sounds like a nightmare.” Atsumu shudders, but pockets the bottle anyway. It bulges out of the side of his cargo pants and he might look a little silly, but it’s really the thought that counts; the fact that you’d bought this drink with him in mind makes his heart rate spike. He nods at the muddy orange drink you left on the floor, meant for Osamu. “What’s in that one?”
“Carrot and squash, if I remember correctly.”
Atsumu gags. “Did’ya pick the worst flavours or somethin’? You say this is popular?”
You nod, a little embarrassed. “They were selling it everywhere I went!” you defend. “I just figured it was, like, the thing, or whatever.”
“If me and the team promoted this, it’d be sold out in no time,” he says thoughtfully. “Even if it tastes like a gourmet meal for goats.”
“So humble.” You roll your eyes, letting your head fall back on the couch cushion.
Your airport clothes—a hoodie and jeans—stick uncomfortably to your skin after hours of being airborne, and you scratch your elbow. Atsumu thinks it must be annoying; you must be itching to peel off your clothes and take a warm shower.
But first, Miya Atsumu needs to ask you out.
He tries not to let the wording mess with his head. He’s doing this for his grandmother, and most certainly not because of the self-indulgent fantasies his mind conjures up for him when he’s asleep. Dreams of holding your hand, walking through the cherry blossoms together, kissing your cheek and taking in your delighted gasp—they haunt him even in his waking moments, and Atsumu aches to make them turn into a reality.
He acknowledges that he is a coward in some ways. This is one of them.
“Hey…” he begins, and then trails off, unsure.
“Hm?”
“That bottle of muck you got for Osamu—” Atsumu gulps, ignoring the hammering of his heart inside his chest. “Think he’d like it more if you gave it to him yourself.”
You sigh. “I would love to, Atsumu, but I don’t know when I’ll be going to Hyogo next. I don’t want that milkshake to stay rotting in my fridge for, like, six months.”
“Well… I’m goin’ there next Saturday. Wanna come with?”
“I don’t know…”
“C’mon. It’s Shohei’s wedding. You can’t miss it. Grandma Miya specifically told me to tell you to get your ass down there.”
It’s a lie that slips easily through his teeth, but he’s not exactly wrong, is he? Just—bending the truth a little. Grandma Miya did tell him to bring his girlfriend with him, and if he thinks about it, you are his girl friend, aren’t you? With a space in between the two words, but that’s just semantics. Atsumu ignores the voice in the back of his mind that tells him he’s coming up with excuses that he used to think of when he was in elementary school.
“I’ll think about it—”
“You have to,” Atsumu implores, briefly letting go of his pride in favour of convincing you to come with him to his hometown. “It’ll be a nice break. You can meet Samu and Shohei. Have fun at a wedding—you know how fun Miya weddings are. Get dressed up, dance around a bit. And Grandma would be ecstatic if you came.”
“Ecstatic…” you echo, an amused smile flickering on your face. “Did Osamu teach you that word?”
“Yes,” he says immediately. “But that’s not the point! The point is, I want your company for Shohei’s wedding.”
Atsumu waits for his words to sink in. He notices your sharp inhale when he emphasises on the fact that he wants you there. This one is the truth, and nothing but; there is no one else he would rather go to his cousin’s wedding with.
For all the lies he’s spouted out this afternoon, some part of Miya Atsumu wants you to recognise that he’s not lying this time.
“So, please,” he continues quietly, “will you come with me to Shohei’s wedding?”
You look away, teeth worrying your bottom lip. A moment later, you nod.
“...Fine. But you’re paying for the train tickets.”
Atsumu’s exhale is both relieved and anticipatory.
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It takes exactly two hours and forty-six minutes to get to Hyogo from Tokyo by train. Atsumu purchases the tickets, partly because you’d asked him to, but mostly because of the steady feeling of guilt gnawing at his chest. He even purchases tickets for the first-class coach, because he wants you to be as comfortable as possible, even going so far as to give up the window seat for the aisle one.
“You’re being weirdly nice,” you note suspiciously, as he hefts your suitcase onto the rack above.
Atsumu grunts with exertion, his muscles rippling under his shirt. He takes in the small bob of your throat at the sight with a gleeful sense of pride. “Dunno what you’re talkin’ about. I’m always nice.”
Luggage secured successfully, he rubs the palms of his hands on his jeans and settles down into the seat next to you. The plush cushion is soft and velvety to the touch, a dark shade of blue that’s soothing to the eye. As he looks around, he can’t help but notice that the rest of the passengers consist of old people—senior citizens, with wobbly knees and wrinkled skin. Old and married, they must be on their way back to their hometown after visiting their children and grandchildren in Tokyo. As far as he can tell, you and Atsumu are the only two people here who don’t have a relationship beyond the platonic. There’s the occasional family of four: a tired husband, an even more tired wife, and two boisterous children. One child, no more than four years old, with her hair done up in two pigtails, points a chubby finger at him.
“Mama, look! That man looks like Pikachu!” she exclaims loudly.
You giggle at the chagrined look on Atsumu’s face, and his heart lifts slightly at the sound.
“Komi! Shhh. It’s rude to point at people.” Her mother pulls her hand down, giving Atsumu an apologetic bow of her head.
“She has a point, I guess,” you whisper to your friend, nudging his shoulder.
“The point being…?”
“You do look like Pikachu.”
“Huh?”
“Your hair, Tsumu.” You grin mischievously. “It’s yellow. You’re practically halfway to having electric powers.”
Atsumu flushes. He runs a hand through his dyed-blond hair self-consciously. “That bad, eh?”
“I don’t know,” you reply, shrugging. “Your fans seem to like it.”
“And you?” he asks softly. “You’ve never told me what you think.”
You hum and look away, fiddling with your phone case. “If you like it, then I like it.”
“That’s not even an answer.” Still, Atsumu will admit that your reply makes him happy.
“It is.”
“It’s not.”
“It is.”
“It’s—”
“You both argue like Mama an’ Papa.”
Startled, you and Atsumu look in front of you. Komi pokes her head out from the seat in front of you, a wide grin on her lips. You stifle a laugh; it turns out Komi and her brother have occupied the seats in front of you and him. The tips of Atsumu’s ears turn crimson—whether with embarrassment at being caught bickering by a four-year-old, or at Komi’s previous comment about his hair, he isn’t sure.
“Hello, there,” you greet the small girl with a grin as wide as hers. “Komi, isn’t it?”
She nods, her pigtails rocking with the movement. “‘m Komi! An’ my brother is Kento!”
“It’s very nice to meet you both, Komi and Kento,” you say, solemnly holding out a hand for her to shake. Although you haven’t met her brother, you can hear his excited babbles from his location on his mother’s lap. “I’m ____, and this is my friend, Atsumu.”
“But you can call me Tsum,” Atsumu supplies, knowing it must be hard for the little one to pronounce his name properly.
Komi shakes your hand with the sort of vigour that one only has at the young age of four, and then glances expectantly at Atsumu. He holds out his hand as well, and the little girl grips it with all the strength she can muster. Her soft palm is sticky; once she releases it, he tries to discreetly rub his own palm on the seat in front of him, garnering a frown from you.
Slowly, the train begins to chug forward.
“Tsum and ____,” Komi says, “are you both like Mama an’ Papa?”
“Like… Mama and Papa?” you repeat, tilting your head.
“Yeah! Like, sleepin’ in the same room an’ givin’ each other kissies while cooking dinner!”
Atsumu gapes at the child. He feels his face heat up at the insinuation—if Komi thought his hair was like Pikachu earlier, then now she’d surely think his entire face was akin to Charmeleon, or something of that sort. Unable to answer, he glances at you.
Your face settles in an expression that he can only describe as pained amusement. Your lips twitch up, finding the whole situation funny, but you pick at your cuticles at the same time. A chuckle forces its way out of his mouth.
“That’s right, Komi,” Atsumu says. “Except we aren’t… married yet.”
The girl tilts her head, confused. “Wha’s that mean?”
“It means” —Atsumu pauses, just enough to notice the stupefied glower you give him— “that we haven’t promised each other what your Mama and Papa promised each other.”
“Oh!” Komi gasps, her eyes lighting up with excitement. She grips the seat with her tiny hands, clearly thrilled at his words. “Like a pinkie promise?”
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Atsumu scolds himself yet again for letting his mouth run loose all the damn time. How is he supposed to break this poor, innocent girl’s heart by telling her that you and Atsumu aren’t married? Heck, you aren’t even dating, and he doesn’t even know if you want to get married to someone eventually. He wishes he could blabber about his feelings for you directly to you—but it appears that he is tongue-tied only around you, as well. The irony isn’t lost on him.
Regardless, he cannot take back his words now, which means he must plough on.
Ignoring your pointed glare, he nods. “Exactly. You’re very smart, aren’t you, Komi?”
“‘m the third in my class!” The girl beams proudly.
“Really?” Atsumu gasps. “I was only fifth!”
“From the bottom,” you interject, seemingly having finally found your voice.
“Don’t listen to her,” he says. “She’s just trying to make me look stupid.”
Komi giggles. “Papa says that’s a bad word.”
“And Papa is right.” Atsumu nods. “Idiot is also a bad word.”
“You’re so brilliant, Tsumu,” you mutter. “Teaching her bad words by saying they’re bad. Genius.”
“See, Komi, now what ____ did is something called sarchasm—”
You let out an odd noise, something in between an exasperated sigh and an amused giggle.
“...And now she’s laughin’ at me,” Atsumu finishes, staring at Komi and shaking his head ruefully. “Can’t believe I’m payin’ for this one’s train tickets.”
Komi’s curious gaze darts between you and Atsumu, a little confused but wholly entertained. “Stop, stop, stop!” She holds her palms out as though she’s a judge imparting all her four-years worth of knowledge to pass her verdict. “Both of you need to make a pinkie promise.”
You blink. “What for, Komi?”
“To always love each other. Forever an’ ever, until you both die!” she declares seriously.
Atsumu’s smile turns soft around the edges. Ah, the child-like innocence that vanishes so quickly. He doesn’t remember much of his own childhood—it’s mostly just a blur of juvenile volleyball and fistfights with Osamu and Aran, and playdates where you would come over with your mother and the three of you would romp around with the twins’ toy dinosaurs—but he hopes he had the same sort of faith in the world that little Komi so proudly presents to him.
He turns to you, fingers already twitching with the urge to wrap his little finger around yours. “I think you have a point, Komi. Whaddya say?”
“I agree,” you say quietly, shifting slightly in your seat.
Atsumu gently takes your hand in his, hooking his pinkie finger with yours. Your skin is soft, a little bit clammy, but so is his. He swallows thickly, nervous for no reason at all, and says:
“____, I promise to love you forever and ever, until we both die.”
“I, um” —you inhale shakily— “I promise to do the same.”
He squeezes lightly and then lets go, letting his hand drop down to his lap. It was only a brief moment of contact—barely thirty seconds—but Atsumu’s finger twitches again; he aches to prolong the contact, to hold not just your finger but your entire palm, encase it within his hand’s confines, and never let you go.
“No, you didn’ do it properly!” Komi whines, her chubby fingers tightening around the headrest.
The volleyball player’s gaze snaps back to his small friend’s face. Gruffly, still wary, he asks, “What did we do wrong, Komi?”
“Mama an’ Papa always make me an’ Kento kiss after we fight! You should do the same!”
“But we haven’t fought, Komi,” you try to gently persuade her from exacerbating your situation.
It doesn’t work. Komi is adamant, as most children are, and Atsumu senses the beginning of a tantrum. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Komi and Kento’s parents napping in their seats, probably taking a well-deserved break from handling two kids. He doesn’t want to wake them up, all because he couldn’t satisfy their daughter’s harmless demands.
“All right, all right,” he says, flashing Komi a winning smile. “We’ll kiss to seal the deal, ‘kay?”
Next to him, he hears your sharp intake of breath. Atsumu’s heart thuds in his chest, a marching band of his own. The words just slipped out—as they always do. It is his fatal flaw.
Before he can turn towards you, he freezes.
You kiss him on his cheek.
You kissed him.
He can feel remnants of your lip balm on his skin, a slightly oily residue that he doesn’t bother wiping away. His brain feels like it’s a laptop with the Blue Screen Of Death causing it to cease all functions; blood rushes to his ears.
“There,” you tell Komi with an air of finality. “Pinkie promise made properly.”
The girl giggles and claps her hands, but he can tell she’s getting tired as well. With one last parting smile, she turns back around, presumably to nap for the one hour of travel left.
Atsumu’s cheek tingles at the spot where you kissed him. He resists the urge to brush his fingers against it, conscious of the fact that you might find it weird. Instead, he forces down the giddy smile that threatens to overcome his face and joins you in silently observing the countryside whip past him through the window.
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Jealousy is an emotion Miya Atsumu grapples with rather frequently, and it’s no exception when he sees his brother tackle you into a hug as soon as he lays eyes upon you both.
Meanwhile, he’s left standing at the genkan, carrying both your bags and suitcases. Osamu doesn’t even spare him a look. Atsumu scowls; is this what their brotherly love has been reduced to?
“Don’ mind me,” he announces, toeing off his shoes and socks. “‘m just a luggage carrier.”
“Guest room’s all yours,” his brother says, arm still wrapped around your shoulder.
You snicker at Atsumu’s disgruntled expression and he rolls his eyes. Hefting a bag on his shoulder, he smirks and shoots back, “Someone’s gotta be the useful one. Cookin’ isn’t gonna save your life.”
“Dinner’s on you, Tsumu,” Osamu calls out to his retreating back. “And then we’ll see who survives after eatin’ your food.”
Atsumu blanches, but he sees the amused tilt of your head and flashes a winning grin at you instead, trying to quell the envy that bubbles in his chest when he sees Osamu whisper something into your ear and you giggle.
After depositing your bags in the guest room, Atsumu heads upstairs to put his own luggage away and wash up a little. He can hear the sounds of you and Osamu talking and laughing downstairs, taking the time to catch up on everything you’d missed in Hyogo district—about the twins’ mother and her little circle of friends, the news about when one of their neighbours threatened to cut down another person’s apple tree—and your delighted laugh sends a ripple of something warm down his spine.
He knows he’s well and truly fucked when he thinks about how much he wishes he could be the one to draw those elated sounds out of your mouth.
Downstairs, you’re doubled over with laughter as Osamu regales you with the story of their Grandma Miya accidentally crashing the wrong knitting circle and not realising until three meetings in that they were discussing trashy romance webnovels instead of actually knitting. Atsumu lingers at the top of the stairs, listening to your guffaws. You snort, once, and it sends you and Osamu into peals of laughter again. His fingers curl around the bannister.
The volleyball player steels himself, plastering on a confident smile as he saunters down the stairs.
“Oi, what’s so funny?” he drawls. “Ya laughin’ without me now?”
“Just tellin’ her about Grandma’s new knitting club,” Osamu says. “She’s startin’ to think she can direct a romantic drama now.”
“I mean, she probably could,” you agree, smiling. “From what I know of her, your grandmother is a force.”
Atsumu scoffs, dropping into the armchair closest to you. He mutters, “A force that guilt-tripped me into bringin’ a date to the wedding.”
Osamu snickers. You tilt your head, curious. “A date for Shohei’s wedding?”
“Yeah. And if I show up without one, I’m doomed. Grandma’ll start parading me around to every eligible bachelorette she’s ever met—the neighbours, the cashier at the konbini I said looks cute, random strangers on the street.”
The corner of your mouth quirks up. “That doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe you’ll find someone perfect.”
Atsumu swallows down a groan. The last thing he needs is for you to think he’s taking his grandmother’s matchmaking seriously. “Nah, it’s a nightmare waiting to happen. Imagine Grandma introducin’ me to that one lady who brought natto salad to her friend’s birthday party.”
Osamu barks out a laugh. “Everyone ended up with really bad diarrhea that day,” he explains to you. “Guess Tsumu will hafta rely on me for cookin’ unless he wants bowel problems by the time he’s thirty.”
“As if,” Atsumu says quickly, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “Point is, I need someone to save me from this circus.”
“Hm, better start polishing your flirtin’ skills, Atsumu.” You give him a teasing smile.
His eyes lock with yours for a fraction of a second longer than he intends, and the words sit heavy on his tongue. You’re my date. I was thinkin’ of asking you. But his throat tightens; instead, he tosses a pillow at his twin brother to cover his nerves.
“You busy, Samu? Wanna be my date?” he jokes, deflecting easily.
Osamu catches the pillow without missing a beat, and then shudders. “Not a chance. The second they see me with you, they’ll think you’ve finally lost it.”
“Hasn’t he already?” you pipe up.
Atsumu clutches his chest dramatically. “Even you, ____? Betrayed in my own home!”
“Technically, it’s Samu’s home.”
Osamu grins triumphantly. Atsumu sneers.
“Well, don’t worry ‘bout me,” he says, leaning back and stretching his arms behind his head. “I’ll find someone. Real classy. Someone who’ll shut Grandma up for a whole year.”
His brother rolls his eyes. “Sure you will, Tsumu.”
You glance at Atsumu again, lips pressed together in a thin line. There’s something indecipherable in your eyes, the way your forehead is creased ever-so slightly. Before he can say anything, Osamu’s phone rings. He excuses himself to take the call, leaving the two of you alone.
“Who’s the lucky fake date?” you ask after a beat. You don’t meet his gaze.
He rubs the back of his neck, debating his next move. His heart pounds as he tries to muster some semblance of courage, but all he manages is a lopsided grin and a shrug.
“Dunno. Guess I’ll know when I see her.”
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“We have a problem.”
“We do?” Atsumu has only just woken up. His brain is still struggling to catch up with the rest of him; he blinks once, twice, waiting for your statement to sink in.
“Get up, loser,” you say, walking into his bedroom like you own the place. You flick his duvet off of his body. “We’re going shopping.”
Atsumu sits up, pressing his palms to his face and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. The duvet slips further down.
“Fuck!” you yelp, immediately turning around. “Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t see anythin’.”
A shiver ripples through his body. Without the warmth of his blanket cocooning his body, the cold of the morning seeps into his skin. He’s trying to figure out why, exactly, he’s being presented with a marvellous view of your back, and what you’re apologising for, when the chill makes him shiver again.
Oh. He looks down at himself.
Atsumu didn’t wear a shirt to bed.
His cheeks flood with heat, the back of his neck prickling with embarrassment. “Er. I’m wearin’ pants,” he says, like that’s going to be of any help.
“I’m, um, going to leave,” you say. Your voice sounds stilted—likely due to being similarly embarrassed by Atsumu’s bare-chestedness. Atsumu grunts in agreement. You walk out slowly, gingerly tip-toeing over a discarded pair of sweatpants he left lying on the floor.
You shut the door behind you, face lowered, and exaggeratedly twist the doorknob until it lets out a click sound, as though you’re showing him that you have not seen anything indecent. As though his abs have personally offended you. Like you’re a National Geographic narrator documenting a rare, disgruntled creature in the wild.
The shirtless Miya Atsumu, with its ruffled plumage and tragic morning breath, appears to challenge the peace of its habitat.
Ha. Wouldn’t that be a hoot.
To his credit, Atsumu gives himself five minutes before he flops onto his stomach and screams into his pillow. Then, he rises and rummages through his closet for a shirt—he settles for a grey one that he probably stole from Osamu’s closet during high school—and, still mortified, slips out of his bedroom and heads downstairs to see if breakfast is ready.
He finds his mother and you sitting side-by-side on cushions by the chabudai. It’s the usual motherly nonsense she always spouts whenever you come over—gushing over your job, asking about your parents, and, of course, wondering if you have a boyfriend yet.
“Not yet, Miya-san,” you reply politely, though Atsumu can tell you’re a little embarrassed. Your eyebrows furrow just slightly, and it’s always a tic you’ve had, Atsumu’s discovered.
“Oh, well, that’s too bad,” his mother says. “Beautiful girls like you should have boys tripping over their own two feet to date you.”
Atsumu is sure he’s tripped over his own two feet in front of you enough times by now for him to be able to date you. He clears his throat and puts a little swagger to his step when he sits down opposite you. “Missed me, Ma?”
“Slightly lesser than how much I missed ____,” she says.
“Just adopt her already, why don’t you?” Atsumu quips, rolling his eyes.
His mother actually seems to consider this, as she presses her lips together. “Marry one of the twins, ____. You know I would love to have you as a daughter-in-law.”
Your eyes widen, and you flounder, beseechingly locking eyes with Atsumu and begging him to help you out. He smiles a little. He remembers why he brought you here in the first place. His smile gets wiped out in an instant.
It’s not as though Miya Atsumu doesn’t want to spend time with you. He knows Shohei would love to have you at his wedding, and Hyogo is a beautiful place to be at this time of the year. But the thought that he needs you to be a scapegoat to appease Grandma Miya niggles at the back of his mind, unforgiving. He really should tell you, he thinks.
Thankfully, you’re saved from his mother’s matchmaking attempts by Osamu, who walks in balancing bowls of rice and miso soup. He sets them down on the table expertly—Onigiri Miya has trained him well—and plops down on a cushion next to his brother.
“Sorry for bein’ late,” he says gruffly. “Forgot to add salt in the miso.”
It smells delicious. Atsumu has to admit that he’s missed his brother’s cooking. After surviving on a majority of meals that were either konbini snacks or cheap ramen in Tokyo, home-cooked food makes his stomach grumble in a good way.
The four of you chorus your gratitude for the meal with bowed heads and folded palms, and then dig in. Atsumu slurps up the miso soup, chewing on a piece of tofu. It’s heavenly—it really is, and he nudges his brother’s side with his elbow to convey it. Osamu nudges back, and the table is silent for some time.
“Oh, by the way,” his mother says, “we need to get your suits from the dry cleaners. I have to go help your aunt out with last-minute wedding preparations, so I need one of you to do it.”
“Not me,” Osamu says. “I’ve got a restaurant to run.”
“Yes, I’m well aware of that, Osamu,” she continues, giving him a small smile. “That’s why I asked ____ to wake up Atsumu early today. Both of you still have the same build, so Atsumu can go to the tailor’s to see if it fits or if he needs any adjustments.”
“Oh,” says Atsumu. You don’t meet his gaze. “I didn’t know we had actual work to do today.”
“I also offered to buy ____ a dress, but she refused.” His mother casts a quick, affectionate glance at you. “So, Atsumu, I need you to buy her one, all right? Get her a gorgeous one.”
“O’course I will,” he says, quietly.
Osamu looks curiously between you both. “Didn’t ____ tell you all this when she came to wake you up, Tsumu?”
A wad of rice gets lodged in Atsumu’s throat. You accidentally inhale miso soup through your nose. Both of you cough and splutter.
Osamu frantically pats Atsumu’s back, while you, eyes watering, accept a glass of water from the twins’ mother. Something unfurls inside Atsumu’s chest at the thought of spending the whole day with you, getting his suit tailored and buying you a dress.
It’s almost like you’re actually his date for his cousin’s wedding.
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Is it weird that Miya Atsumu wants to see your reaction to him wearing a suit? Is he being presumptuous in the way he lifts his chin and puffs out his chest so that the tuxedo fits him better? What are your thoughts about men wearing tuxedos and ties, in general? Should he buy a tie that matches your dress?
This, and other such mysteries of life, are what the volleyball player ponders over in the tiny fitting room while one of the seamsters kneels in front of him and measures the length of his leg with measuring tape.
Atsumu has to constantly remind himself that you don’t know he’s your date yet. The wedding is tomorrow. He doesn’t know if he has it in him to stick it out until then.
“All done,” the seamster announces, getting back to his feet. “Give me fifteen minutes and I’ll be able to alter this to the right size.”
“Thanks,” Atsumu mumbles, pulling back the curtain and heading outside.
You’re sitting on one of the couches they’ve kept by the corner of the shop, scrolling through something on your phone. The bag with your new dress—his mother’s gift to you—is placed on the floor by your feet. He doesn’t know what the dress looks like; you’d insisted on buying it secretly because it was, apparently, embarrassing to go dress-shopping with a close friend who happens to be a well-built, devilishly handsome, popular, famous pro-volleyball player.
Not that you said those words exactly, but Atsumu can fill in the blanks.
He plops down next to you, leaning back and circling his head to get rid of the cricks in his neck. You put your phone away and glance at him.
“Take a picture,” Atsumu says, not looking back at you. “Lasts longer.”
“If only your face actually looked good in photos.”
“My face looks excellent. Haven’t ya seen me and Bokuto in the Calpis advertisement?” It was a small gig they’d gotten right after the Olympics season. Kuroo had said it would make for good PR, and Atsumu and Bokuto jumped at the chance to have their small five minutes of fame. Shouyou had sulked about not being a part of it for two weeks straight afterwards.
“I have, actually,” you respond, crossing your arms over your chest. “You know I wouldn’t ever miss out on that. I’m surprised no one here’s recognised you yet.”
“Livin’ under a rock, the whole lot of them,” Atsumu mutters.
You laugh softly. “The fame’s gone to your head, Atsumu. Don’t forget me when you and the team go gallivanting across the country.”
“You know I wouldn’t ever be able to forget you,” he says, after a beat. “You’re, like, a part of me now.”
You blink. “That’s kind of weird.”
Atsumu’s cheeks burn. How is it that he always, always fumbles so much in front of you? It’s like his brain sees you and immediately decides to unplug itself for maintenance. He gulps, thinking of ways to salvage whatever dignity he has left.
“‘S not weird,” he forces out. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. I think you spent more time at our house durin’ elementary school than you did at your own.”
“Fair enough,” you acquiesce. Shifting slightly, you eye the bit of fabric from your dress that pokes out of the paper bag. “Still can’t believe your mom insisted on getting me a dress,” you murmur, lightly brushing your fingertips against the edge of the bag. “It’s a bit over-the-top, don’t you think?”
“She just likes you a lot,” he responds. “Honestly, I’m startin’ the think she likes you more than me or Osamu.”
“That’s not a very high bar.” You roll your eyes, but there’s no malice in the action. “But it’s probably ‘cause I didn’t dunk her favourite teapot into the toilet when I was seven.”
“That was an accident! And I apologised more than a hundred times!”
“Yeah, and I’m sure the apology totally made up for the fact that you made Osamu stick his hand down there and fish it out for you.”
“Why d’you always take his side?” Atsumu grumbles. “Can’t ever catch a break with both of you around, I swear.”
You lean back, shoulder brushing against his. Atsumu can feel your gaze roving over his face; he bites the inside of his cheek, feeling strangely self-conscious.
“Maybe,” you say, “I just enjoy making fun of you. You always make fun of me back. It’s nice.”
Atsumu swallows hard, trying to focus on anything else—the tacky wallpaper, the sound of pop music blaring from the shop next door. Anything but the way your words make his heart somersault, or the way your smile lingers for a second more than usual.
“That’s cruel, yaknow,” he manages to say. “Gangin’ up on me all the time. Makes a guy feel unloved.”
You stay quiet, thoughtfully steepling your fingers under your chin. Atsumu glances at you from the corner of his eye. Your expression doesn’t betray anything, until you reach out and gently grasp his wrist.
“I’m sorry,” you say quietly. “Didn’t realise you didn’t like it.”
Miya Atsumu is certain—not for the first time in his life—that he’s utterly doomed. It’s a little bit pathetic, really. It started back in middle school, and still, somehow, he’s unable to move on. You’ve consumed him. Your thumb brushes over the veins on his wrist; he wonders if you can feel his pulse racing.
“Don’t stop,” he says, because what else does a fool in love say?
“Atsumu, I—”
You’re interrupted by the seamster, who calls Atsumu over to the register to finish his billing. He grits his teeth. This is the worst sort of interruption ever. He turns to face you properly, because maybe if he pretends he didn’t hear the tailor, you’ll tell him what you were about to say.
But your face is carefully blank, your lips pressed together. “Go on,” you tell him. “Don’t forget to collect Osamu’s tux, too.”
“Yeah, okay.” Atsumu nods once, twice. He gently extricates his hand from your grasp, as much as he dislikes it. “I’ll, uh, go do that, then.”
“Okay.”
Atsumu hates this. He’s not sure if he even wants to attend the wedding anymore. All his relatives are going to heckle him about his love life—and that’s fine, he can deal with them. He just doesn’t want his grandmother’s face to crumple with disappointment on finding out her grandson’s whole “relationship” was a farce. Feeling sick to his stomach, he pays for the alterations done to his and his brother’s outfits, and gestures for you to accompany him outside.
You don’t meet his eyes the entire way back home.
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It’s the eve of the wedding reception, and Miya Atsumu can’t find you anywhere.
The reception hall is lovely. Golden lanterns hang from the ceiling, enveloping everyone in a soft, warm glow. Vases of peonies and cherry blossoms, intertwined with sprigs of baby’s breath, are placed on top of the soft linen covering each table. The delicate strains of a koto and shamisen ensemble weave through the air. The centerpiece stage, framed by cascading fairy lights and flowing silk, bear the names of the bride and the groom, written in exquisite calligraphy. An array of traditional Japanese sweets and cups of sake are placed on a long table by the corner of the hall.
Shohei and Sakura sit by the shintaku, looking resplendent in their outfits, surrounded by family members and friends. He’s already congratulated them, clapping his cousin on the back and winking proudly at Sakura. You’re nowhere near them, so he tries the snack table instead.
Atsumu hides his mounting worry by shoving a piece of mochi into his mouth. He racks his brain, trying to think of other possible hideouts where he can find you. It’s not like you to disappear like this—and it’s a shame, really, because all he wants is to be by your side this evening. Osamu is posing for a group photo with his second cousins and his mother is helping his aunt with the gift bags, but you’re not anywhere near them either.
He knows you won’t be at the smoking area where his uncle has held court all evening, but he decides to check anyway. Atsumu gives the area a cursory glance, confirming that you’re not among them, before hastily walking out. He curses under his breath, his usual confidence giving way to an unfamiliar, gnawing unease.
You’re supposed to be here. You said you’d be here.
He adjusts the lapels of his tailored suit and forces himself to think rationally. You’re probably just outside, he tells himself, getting some air or hiding from the relentless matchmaking attempts of meddlesome aunts. It’s probably fine. It has to be.
Atsumu’s footsteps turn towards the garden doors. His urgency is masked by the cocky, practiced demeanour he wears like a second skin.
“Atsumu, boy, where d’you think you’re running off to now?”
The volleyball player freezes mid-step. He exhales slowly and drags a hand through his meticulously styled hair before turning around.
Grandma Miya stands by the hall’s entrance, wearing a lavender kimono that glows under the warm lights. Her lacquered cane gleams as she taps it softly against the polished floor. Despite her diminutive frame, his grandmother commands the space effortlessly. Sharp eyes—so like his own—pin him in place.
“‘M not runnin’ anywhere, Grandma,” Atsumu says, summoning a sheepish smile that he hopes will placate her. “Just, uh, checkin’ on something.”
Her eyebrows lift, arching in a way that shows she’s wholly unconvinced. “Checking on something or someone?”
Atsumu opens his mouth, an excuse perched on the tip of his tongue, but she raises a hand and continues before he can say anything. “Thought you ought to know—there’s a pretty girl standing outside in the garden cussin’ out your name like she’s auditioning for a sailor’s choir. Care to explain why?”
“Wait—outside?”
“So you do know her,” Grandma Miya states.
“Um. Yeah—I— She’s—” The grin he’s worn like armour falters under the Miya matriarch’s scrutinising gaze.
“Out with it, Tsumu,” she prompts, tapping her cane once on the floor. “Who is she?”
“She’s my… date,” Atsumu admits. The words tumble out awkwardly, and he can’t deny the way it sounds both weirdly foreign but strangely right at the same time. “For the wedding.”
His grandmother’s eyes narrow. “And why is she out there cursing you to Hell and back all alone in the cold?”
“I didn’t—” He stops, shoulders slumping. He knows there’s no point in lying—not to her. Grandma Miya has always been able to see right through him, as though his thoughts are scrawled across his face.
“She’s not really my date,” Atsumu mutters, gaze downcast. “I mean, she is, but she doesn’t… know that she is.”
Grandma Miya blinks, and then lets out a short huff of laughter. “Atsumu, are you tellin’ me you brought this poor girl here, told everyone she’s your date, but didn’t think to inform her of that little detail?”
“I didn’t forget,” Atsumu protests, though his words sound weak to his own ears. “I just didn’t have the chance to tell her.”
“Why would you go and do something so spectacularly foolish?”
He hesitates, avoiding her eyes. “‘Cause I didn’t want to disappoint you,” he says quietly, the admission dragging itself out of his throat.
His grandmother’s smile fades, and without it, her wrinkles look more and more pronounced. “Disappoint me?”
“Yeah,” Atsumu whispers. “You’re always askin’ me when I’m gonna bring someone home. You want to see me and Osamu get married, too, before you—” His voice catches. “Before. Um. I just wanted to make you happy, ‘s all.”
There’s a long pause, and when Grandma Miya speaks again, her voice is sadder than he expects. Classic Atsumu, he thinks bitterly. Always findin’ a way to mess things up for everyone.
“Atsumu, you daft boy,” his grandma says, “I don’t care if you bring someone or not. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy.”
Atsumu swallows, her words entering his chest and settling down with a warmth that wraps around his body. When he looks up, he finds her observing him not with judgement, but with quiet understanding.
“Are you happy?” she asks.
Something about the way she says it is tinged with hope, and it makes his heart lift. The truth lodges in his throat, too big to swallow, too heavy to speak.
“I like her,” he blurts out finally. “A lot. But she doesn’t—she doesn’t know that either.”
Grandma Miya’s lips lift up in a grin—the same smile that passed on to his mother, and then to him and his brother. “Then go find her. Tell her the truth.”
“But what if—”
“No,” she says firmly. “Life’s too short for all that nonsense. If you care about her, you owe her the truth and an apology. Go on, now. Dinner’s starting soon.”
Atsumu nods, the corners of his lips twitching up in a small, grateful smile. She waves him off with her cane, before turning around and bellowing to Osamu to get her another cup of sake. He heads out to the garden.
The cool night air fills his lungs when he steps out of the ornate doors. He catches sight of you pacing near the koi pond; your movements are tight with frustration. The moonlight shimmers on the water, and dances across your face. The ends of your dress billow out because of the wind and Atsumu swears he forgets how to breathe.
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It’s not until he climbs down the steps and comes to a standstill in front of you that you finally acknowledge Atsumu. Even then, it’s with flaring nostrils and flashing eyes, and he knows he’s fucked up really badly this time.
“Atsumu,” you say, voice taut. “What the Hell is going on?”
He winces. He doesn’t know what to say, how to explain everything. He tries to speak, but no words come out, and all he can do is watch helplessly as you curl your fingers into your palm with anger.
“Why the fuck did you tell your entire family that I’m your girlfriend?” you snap, when it becomes apparent he isn’t going to say anything. “What did you think was going to happen?”
A dozen half-baked excuses fly over his head, but none of them feel right. Grandma Miya was right—he owes you the truth—but first, he needs to find a way to calm you down.
“Do you realise how messed up that is?” you continue. Your voice increases in pitch, garnering the attention of a few wedding-goers milling about. “You didn’t ask me. You didn’t tell me anything. Do you know how embarrassing it was to get bombarded by all your relatives asking me how long we’ve been dating? They think we’re something that we’re not—fuck it all, they think I’m something I’m not.”
“I didn’t— I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Atsumu pleads, finally having found his voice. “I just—”
“Just what?! Just thought it would be easier? Just wanted to impress your family?”
“No,” he says, shaking his head. “No. I just—shit, I dunno—I didn’t want my grandma to think I was screwing around. I didn’t want my relatives to look at me with pity ‘cause I can’t even stay in a decent relationship for longer than three weeks!”
Atsumu searches your face for something—some sort of reaction to his words. But you’re silent, and he can’t read your face. He can’t tell if you’re angry, hurt, both, or something else entirely, and it’s making him feel even more out of his depth.
“What were you thinking, Atsumu?” you ask softly. Your teeth worry your bottom lip, and he resists the urge to give in and kiss you silly.
“I wasn’t thinkin’,” he says, hoarsely. “I didn’t think about how it would make you feel. I should have.”
You don’t say anything for a long while; Atsumu thinks he’s said too much. But then, you speak and the bite in your voice has reduced.
“You didn’t think about me. You didn’t think ‘bout how I’d feel being that person for you.”
Your words ring hollow in his ears. The hurt in your voice makes his stomach twist with guilt. He wants to defend himself, but what could he possibly say? Instead, he looks at you quietly, hoping against all hope that somehow you will understand.
“Fuck,” Atsumu mutters under his breath, more to himself than you. He takes a tentative step forward, but you hold up a hand.
“You don’t—” Your voice trembles. “You don’t get to just walk over to me and give me some half-assed apology, Atsumu.”
Atsumu stops, letting silence blanket you both once more. He stares at you for a moment, at your beautiful face and your beautiful dress, and without thinking, he steps closer, his hand reaching out.
You don’t pull away—not immediately.
He’s close enough now that he can see his reflection in your eyes, the small tremor in your lips. Something inside him shifts, something urgent, something that makes his head spin. He doesn’t know what he’s doing until it’s too late.
He curls his hand around your waist and pulls you in, crashing your lips with his. He feels you stiffen at first—but then you kiss him back, hard and sharp, and everything in him unwinds.
It isn’t gentle or sweet. It isn’t tender, the way Atsumu had always imagined his first kiss with you would be like. It’s angry—you are angry at him, and he is angry at himself.
It’s over far too quickly. Atsumu’s chest heaves with each breath he takes. You gawk at him, wide-eyed and breathless; a mirror to the expression on his own face, most likely.
“I—” Atsumu starts, but the sentence gets lost somewhere in his brain when you take a step back.
“I’m not some… prop to your little charade, Atsumu,” you say. “So unless this means something to you—like it does for me—don’t do things you’ll regret.”
“I won’t,” Atsumu promises. His voice is gruff, his heartbeat a rapid staccato against his rib cage. “I could never. I like you too much for that.”
You look at him like he looked at you earlier—like you’ve forgotten how to breathe, like you’re drinking in the sight of him and trying to commit him to memory. It comes out as a whisper when you say, “What?”
“God, ____, I like you. I like you so much I don’t know what to do with myself when you’re around.” He owes you the truth, and so the truth is what you will get. He’s not very good with words—you know this, and he’s sure you will recognise this for what it is: he’s laying his heart bare for you to take and keep safely for him.
“Me too,” you say. “Me too, Atsumu. Me too.”
He kisses you again, gentle and tender and sweet, his hand placed on the curve of your neck and your hands clutching the front of his shirt.
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Osamu finds him and you later, curled into each other’s sides. Atsumu’s cheeks colour when his brother shoots him an impressed look.
“Finally,” he says. “Been waitin’ forever for this buffoon to get his head out of his ass and make a move.”
Atsumu doesn’t deny it, and you laugh softly. “Been waitin’ for him myself,” you say, squeezing his arm affectionately.
“Anyways,” says Osamu. “Grandma Miya’s lookin’ for Tsumu. She says she can’t wait to meet his new girlfriend.”
Atsumu’s mouth splits into a grin. “Tell her we’ll be right there,” he says.
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#atsumu#miya atsumu#hq#haikyuu#atsumu x reader#miya atsumu x reader#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#atsumu fluff#miya atsumu fluff#haikyuu fluff#hq fluff#atsumu angst#miya atsumu angst#haikyuu angst#hq angst#haikyuu!!
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Brick by Brick
You have his favourite tea on hand. You ask him what he'd like for dinner this weekend. One time you opened the door for him within seconds of buzzing, like you'd been as eager for his visit as he was. And maybe most devastating of all: you routinely start making too much food for even Simon to finish.
tags: 🔞construction worker simon/neighbour reader, unprotected piv, oral (f receiving), size kink, brief mention of simon's childhood abuse
part 1 | part 2
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After that things shift, just a little. You still sit with Simon while he works, handing him tools he teaches you the names of; still try to convince him to get pay for his work around the house.
But you have his favourite tea on hand. You ask him what he'd like for dinner this weekend. One time you opened the door for him within seconds of buzzing, like you'd been as eager for his visit as he was.
And maybe most devastating of all: you routinely start making too much food for even Simon to finish.
“Thought you might want some leftovers for lunch,” you tell him, holding out two tupperware boxes. “If you're working those long hours you have to eat right, you know?”
When Simon opens them at home, just before tucking them away in his work bag for tomorrow, his chest clenches. It's not just leftovers. There's dried beef jerky, a pack of crackers that go well with coffee, and a fist-sized chunk of banana bread. And—
A little note.
His heart hammers against his chest when he unfolds it. It's nearly dark out, crickets chirping soft and low somewhere beneath the window. The only sound in his kitchen is the ticking of a clock.
Good luck today! Don't work too hard :)
“Christ,” he mumbles, fingers tracing over the ink. Pretty. Like you. Like every fucking thing you do.
Summer is nearing its end, and Simon is running out of excuses. Part of him feels proud to see the house shape up to the best it can be, but over the months the boxes have nearly all disappeared. He knows—has helped you unpack God knows how many books. Helped you put together a new bookcase, even.
But if he's no longer useful, what's keeping you from closing your door on him? Dread rises sharp and fast in Simon's throat when he thinks about a dark, cold home waiting for him as his only company. He passes your door on the way home, more often than not sees your silhouette against the warm light of your window. Illuminating the hard dirty edges of him.
You've started feeding him, this big mean watchdog, and he might choke on his leash if you stop now.
“Hello, what is that?”
Simon sharply yanks his lunch away from Johnny's grabby paws.
“None f’your business.”
“Is that bloody banana bread? You've got to be fuckin’ me.”
“That's homemade,” Kyle says unhelpfully from just behind Simon's shoulder.
“Piss off,” Simon grumbles.
Johnny does not, of course, piss off. Instead he grins, cheeky and wide. “Didn't know y’had a bird, Simon.”
“Fuck,” Kyle groans. “Is that roast beef? That smells so good. Where'd you get this?”
Johnny snorts. “More like who's he blackmailin'.”
Simon glowers at Johnny, then says through a mouthful, “My girl.”
If there'd been any hope of them dropping it, it's gone now. Simon realises his mistake as soon the words leave his mouth and Kyle and Johnny light up.
They're incessant. Dog him at every opportunity—who is she? What's her name? What's she look like? Show us a photo, Simon, dinnae be so selfish.
Simon suffers it for a week until he slams his gloves on Price's table and threatens someone's going to end up in the cement mixer by the end of the day if he doesn't do something about it.
They quiet down after that, though they can't help but ask after you every now and then—even Price, who despite his congratulatory shoulder clap admits he wishes he had a sweet thing of his own.
And the lunches keep going. As do the notes, every one of which Simon keeps carefully tucked away in a box at home. He didn't find one last night, and he suppresses the wave of disappointment. Maybe you forgot. Maybe you were just tired, and maybe he's grown too comfortable with your casual affection.
So when a little piece of paper that was stuck to the bottom of the lid flutters onto the ground the next day Simon is unprepared. The two seconds of surprise cost him—Johnny dives after it like a hawk and scoops it before it's barely touched the concrete.
“You little shit—”
Simon's at him immediately, and Johnny, delighted by what he thinks is a funny fucking little game, twists and dodges while fumbling the note open with one hand.
“Looking forward to dinner tonight. Be safe today,” Johnny reads before Simon snatches it from him with a hard shove to his head. “Aww, Simon, you lucky shite. C’mon, give us one o’ those cookies, aye? If you're goin’ home to a candle lit dinner.”
“Get your own cookies,” Simon huffs, and curls one arm around his tupperware protectively while he eats.
Looking forward.
So is he.
-
“Simon!”
Simon whips his head around and catches you stepping out of your car with a wave. You've arrived home just after him today, and his breath catches in his throat when he sees your dress flutter prettily around your legs.
You're dressed up all nice today—must've been at university, then. Simon doesn't know which he likes better: the shorts you wear at home or the glimpse of cleavage he gets when you wear a nice work blouse.
His dick throbs when he holds his own hand up in greeting, hanging back just to get those few extra seconds with you.
He's not sure why today is especially bad. Probably doesn't help that every time he jacks off in the shower you're the one he thinks of, imaging your pretty lips wrapped around his cock. It's hard to resist the indulgence after a long hard day of sweating and laying brick, then coming home and only getting to look, not touch. He doesn't want to stain you with his filth, but what's he supposed to do? He wants you.
And his desire has sat festering in the confines of his rib cage for months. It curls his hands in tight fists so he doesn't reach for you by accident the way he does in his dreams, keeps him from leaning in to taste your lips to see if they're as sweet as your cobbler pies.
“Alright?” he asks when you get closer. You feel off, distant, and when you nod it feels like it's more for his sake than for the truth of it.
“Yeah. Um.” You adjust the strap of the bag on your shoulder, shifting on your feet. “I wanted to let you know I can't do dinner tomorrow. I'm, um, I have a date, so...”
The spin of the world stutters for a second.
Simon sucks in a quiet breath. “That so.”
“Yeah.” You look up at him with a sad little smile. Not the kind of face you'd expect from someone who just scored a date, but Simon is too wrapped up in his misery to notice. “How was your day?”
Normal. Unsuspecting. Good, even, until you told him some twat is taking you out to dinner.
“Fine,” he hears himself say. Adds, “Watchin’ a match tonight.”
An excuse—an out for both of you. You won't have to feel obligated to ask him if he'd like to come ‘round for a meal, and he won't have to pretend he doesn't feel like throwing up.
“Go Manchester,” you reply with a smile.
Just like Simon, they don't score.
-
He waits up for you. It's pathetic, really—that of all things this is what gets him to dig around for a pack of smokes. Been mostly clean ever since you moved in next to him, his half-hearted attempts to quit finally mounting up to something with real resolve.
He doesn't want to taste nicotine when he eats your meals.
Even threw out his lighter. Which means when he finds a crushed, dust-caked pack with only one cigarette in it behind his couch he has to light it with a match and shaky hands.
It tastes awful. But it's familiar, and sometimes he craves the burn even when he sees his dad putting out his own cigs on Simon's legs behind his eyelids.
The evening grows colder around him, late summer skies tinted with dark purples and blues. It's quiet in the neighbourhood. He's the only one out this late—everyone else has retreated to the comfort of their homes, ready to turn in for the night.
It should feel peaceful, but all Simon feels is anxious and on edge. Not even the smoke calms his nerves.
Should he back off, leave you to the happiness you deserve? Throw everything away in one last shot, ask to take you out like he's wanted to forever?
Words are no good, but he's tried so desperately to show you that he'd do just about anything if you asked. To let you know that underneath his gruff silences he doesn't bite the hand that feeds him and that he'd rip anyone else to shreds for raising a finger against you.
Simon's head lifts when his ears pick up the rumbling of a car. Is it...?
It is.
Lamplight flashes over the cobbled street, and then the rumble of the engine turns off with a click.
You're alone—thank God. Simon doesn't know what he would've done if you'd taken your date home.
You look worn out, and not the happy kind after a successful lay. Just tired—to the point where you almost don't notice him and jump when you do. You take a startled step back from his hulking silhouette leaning against the stone little fence curling around all the houses along the street you share, before pausing and asking in a soft voice:
“Simon?”
And because he's a masochist he asks, “Y’have fun?”
He expects a yes. At best a non-committal shrug—at worst an enthusiastic smile. But you look down at your shoes, chew your lip, and say, “No.” A breath. “No. It was awful. He was a twat, and he tried to feel me up under the table, and he's been hounding me at university for months, and I got so sick of it I just said yes but now I'm going to have to email HR and ugh—!”
Your voice breaks on the last sentence and you sniffle, turning your face away from Simon so you can give it a quick wipe with the back of your hand.
He's up on his feet in an instant, trying to take slow breaths so he doesn't act on the overwhelming urge to hunt down the wankstain and crush his fingers so he can never fucking touch you again. Your dog bites without warning or remorse, and everything in him wants to show your sad excuse of a date just how sharp his teeth are.
But he can't. You're hurting, and that's more important than breaking some bloke's nose.
And so Simon tries for softness as much as he's capable of it, large scarred hand hesitantly landing on your shoulder. It's all the coaxing you need to lean into his touch, and when Simon shifts a little closer your head falls on his shoulder. He burns with a different kind of fire.
“Sorry,” you sniffle. “I'm okay, I really am, it was just such a—such a—”
“S’alright,” Simon rasps. He pets your hair and strokes your back with a clumsy touch, unsure of how far he should, can, is allowed to go. “Y’should've called me. Would've come t’pick you up, maybe sock him a new one.”
He'd do more than that if you'd let him. He'd take you home and made sure the only time you cried was when he worked his fat cock inside you.
Christ, he's going to hell.
“I didn't want to bother you,” you say in a small voice.
“Sweetheart. You're never botherin’ me.” You let out a shaky sigh, and Simon tucks your head under his chin a little more securely. “Woulda made sure y’got home safe.”
It's quiet, then, save for the sound of a car driving away somewhere down the road. Simon doesn't say anything else. He doesn't want to break the spell that you're under. You feel so soft in his arms, his sweet bird, finally come home to where you belong.
“I kept wishing it was you.” Your voice is so soft he almost doesn't catch it, but before he can process it you pull yourself out of his embrace, cursing under your breath. “Sorry. Sorry—forget I said that. I'm... I'm gonna go home.”
Simon's hand shoots out and grabs your wrist. You stare at him with big wet eyes that has the pit of his stomach swoop low.
“Y’wish it was me?”
His voice is low and rough, strained with want.
Your cheeks burn and you avert your eyes, though you don't pull your hand away. “Sorry. Ignore me, I'm just...”
“I'll take you,” Simon says a little too quickly. “Anywhere you wanna go. Dinner. Movies.” He pauses, trying to remember what people do for fun. “The library.”
There. You hiccup a little laugh, finally, and the beginnings of a smile tug at your mouth.
“The library?”
Simon smiles a little, too. “Anywhere you want,” he repeats. Even the fucking library.
Your gaze drops to your hands, and you carefully turn your palm against his. “I think I'd like that.”
Simon swallows and lets his fingers intertwine with yours. “Yeah?”
“I don't really care where we go, though. If it's with you.”
Jesus bloody Christ.
“Okay,” Simon says, voice tight. “Alright. We'll—we'll figure it out. We'll go somewhere.” A breeze hits you as he says it, and you shiver. “...Right now let's just get you home.”
You nod, the fatigue overtaking your features again. Simon walks you all the way to your door, squints against the night sensor he installed himself.
You hover in the doorway before opening your mouth, closing it, then take a small step forward to rise on your toes. Simon's heartbeat kicks up under your hand where you steady yourself on his chest, and then he feels your lips press against his cheek. It's his bad one, the one with the nasty scar from a bar fight long ago.
“Thanks,” you say softly.
“Yeah,” he manages, tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. “’Course.”
The door closes with a soft click.
-
When you mention wanting to hike out on a trail nearby Simon, true to his word, makes it happen. It's not so bloody hot anymore and it's nice, hearing the birds chirp overhead. Nice to exist in a world where everything is washed in shades of mottled green, hearing the dirt crunch under his feet.
It relaxes him. Makes his muscles untense. You promised him a picnic at the end of the trail, and to Simon's delight he succeeds in coaxing you to feed him bites of your homemade sandwiches in the midst of tall grass and meadow flowers.
When you get home, sweat and sun lingering on your skin, Simon has full intentions of dropping you off at your doorstep and wishing you a good night. Maybe get another kiss if he's lucky.
And he does—but you linger, soft lips hovering over his cheek. His fingers curl and uncurl against his sides, waiting and wondering.
“Please kiss me?” you breathe on his skin, and that's all it takes.
He surprises himself with the intensity of it, but fucking hell, he's wanted you for so long. His shoulders hunch, neck bent low, and he slots his mouth over yours. Your little fingers grab at his shirt for balance, and he pushes you against your doorframe. Every time he pulls away you make a small noise of protest and chase his lips, and though Simon hasn't had a drop of alcohol today he feels well on his way to hammered.
“Do you want to—please come inside—?”
Simon groans and rests his forehead against yours. Fuck. “I want to—want t’do this right,” he rasps.
You exhale with a shaky breath. Your cheeks are flushed, eyes glittering like stars. Simon's stomach lurches at seeing you want him. “Right, um. Of course. I just—I've thought about... about you. For a—a really long timmf—”
Simon groans into your mouth. He cups your cheeks, one hand sliding to hold you at the back of your neck. A sweat breaks out along his spine when he imagines you at night, in your bedroom, fucking yourself with your little fingers. Whimpering his name...
“Yeah? Y’want me to take you to bed, sweetheart?” he murmurs, and you shiver.
The two of you barely make it past the door until Simon is stealing the breath from your lungs again. He's wanted this for so long it's a little hard to stop, even if it's to break apart for air. Miraculously you seem to want it as much as he does, seem as desperate for his touch as he is for yours.
When has anyone wanted him this bad? When has he ever felt like he'd die on the spot if he didn't get inside you right the fuck now?
He doesn't need to ask you where the bedroom is. This place has felt his touch almost as much as yours, has shaped up into a cosy little home that is part of him, too. Like he wants to be part of you.
Simon simply scoops you up and carries you straight to bed, forgetting to be gentle when he deposits on the mattress. His head is buzzing, his heart is thundering, and he needs you now.
Fortunately you don't seem to mind much. Your hands immediately fly to his belt, tug at the metal impatiently, then fumble with his zipper with trembling hands. Simon pulls your top over your head, throws it somewhere on the floor without a care followed by his own.
“Lie back,” he husks, and makes quick work of your trousers. Pauses just for a second to take in the growing wet patch of your panties.
“Simon,” you whine softly.
He drops to his knees and slides his large hands over your thighs, transfixed. He smooths over the goosebumps on your legs, presses a kiss to your knee.
“Want me t’take these off?” he rasps, snapping the band of your panties. You lift your hips in silent assent. Simon helps you shimmy off your underwear and suppresses a moan when a string of sticky arousal clings to the fabric—then follows it right to the source.
You gasp when he kisses your folds before gently spreading them with big warm fingers. “Sweet little cunt,” Simon mutters, and then he goes to town.
He starts with slow, wet licks, feeling out what you like and what's too much. He keeps it light for a while just to feel you squirm and to hear your breathing turn ragged, then backs off just when your knees start trembling. He smiles when you whimper his name with a desperate little “please".
“Such good manners.” His breath washes over your clit, and your hips try to twitch away from him. “Proper sweetheart, yeah?”
It's great fun, playing with you, but his cock is throbbing painfully and he's leaking everywhere, and he very much intends for you to end the night feeling so blissed out you let him sleep next to you.
So Simon hoists you closer, hooks your thighs over his shoulder, and sucks on your clit until you're sobbing his name. He holds your hips down by splaying one big hand over your stomach because you're a sensitive little thing, bucking away from him when he's not nearly done with you yet.
It's cute, seeing you lose yourself to the pleasure. It's also really fucking hot. Simon slowly pushes one finger in you and groans when you clench around him.
“Simon,” you whimper. “Oh, please, please—”
Such a good girl, begging without him telling you to. Simon crooks his finger, and your next breath is a stutter of moans before your whole body tenses and you cum on his tongue.
Simon hums approvingly, keeping his motions slow and steady so you ride it out all the way. When you whine and wriggle away from him he lets up, wiping at your slick covering his chin.
Best meal you've cooked him by far.
“Oh,” you sigh. “That was... Give me—give me a minute...”
Simon chuckles and rises from his knees to crawl over you and steal a kiss. “Feelin’ good, princess?”
“Princess—” you let out a breathless laugh, but even in the low light of your nightstand lamp Simon sees the colour rise in your cheeks. Liked that, did you? You blink up at him, a sweet satisfied smile on your lips. “Mhm. So good. Come here?”
Your hands trail over his sides, stroke over the light hair trailing down his stomach. Simon shudders when your knuckles brush over his cock and he shucks off his trousers further to give you better access.
When you wrap your hand around him he drops his head into the crook of your shoulder and moans. The twitch of his hips is involuntary, too desperate to chase his pleasure to stay put.
“Next time,” you whisper while pulling him forward, spreading your legs wider to fit around his hips, “I want to feel you in my mouth.”
“Jesus,” he groans. It takes everything in him to not just slide in. “We need a condom?”
“I'm clean,” you murmur against his jaw. “On birth control. If you want we can—”
“Fuck yeah I do,” Simon says, and you laugh. Soft eyes when your hands slide over his shoulders, brush through the short hair on his neck. Simon watches your face while he lines himself up without blinking, and he's rewarded with the flutter of your eyelashes, the parting of your soft lips.
Your brows scrunch together at the first few inches, and he kisses you sweetly to make you relax. Simon knows he's not small, and he groans when you clench around him.
“Good girl,” he whispers against your hair. “Good girl. Just like that, yeah? Takin’ it real well. Just like that.”
He slides in a little deeper. You shiver and mewl and beg him for more, and he gives it to you. Anything you want.
“Simon,” you whimper. “Feels so—oh, you feel so good. More, please, please—?”
Simon brushes the hair from your forehead, keeping his thrusts long and slow and making sure to kiss your cervix each time, just because your breath stutters so prettily every time he does.
“Fuck,” he groans. “Fuck, you're so—such a tight little cunt. Couldn't wait any longer, could you? Jus’ had to have me?”
You nod immediately and empathically, eyes glassy with arousal. You try to answer him, but the only thing you manage are airy moans that sound like his name.
That's alright. Don't need to talk. He knows what you want to say; he feels the same. Simon catches you in a messy kiss while lacing his fingers with yours. Yours. Mine.
He shoves his free hand between your two bodies and finds your clit, circling it until he's found the right rhythm that has tears gathering in your eyes. He could live on that for the rest of his life, of hearing you mindlessly stuttering his name while your body tenses up and your head drops back and those pretty lips part in a choked moan—
“Christ,” Simon grits through his teeth, sweat dampening his brow. Your cunt flutters around him, soft little flower in full bloom that, with another thrust or two, has him falling apart as well.
Both of you moan at the feeling of his cum spurting hot and thick in your waiting womb. Simon rocks against you slowly to make sure you get every last drop—birth control or not.
He kisses you on the comedown. You melt into his touch, butter and honey, running your fingers through his hair until Simon shifts you around so you're curled up against him.
In another minute he'll get up and get you a washcloth before tucking you in and kissing your bare shoulders. He'll wrap himself around you before sleep takes you, make sure that he's the last thing you see and hear and touch.
For now he lets himself bask in the present. In having a sweet little bird clinging to him for comfort and giving him more than he could ever ask for in return.
Simon doesn't think you quite realise what you've gotten yourself into, in giving this big ugly watchdog your affection. He's not a king or a prince; not even a knight, not like the ones you read so much about. Simon wouldn't exactly call himself chivalrous or genteel.
But he's just as devoted and twice as vicious. He'll belong to you, and you to him, and from the moment he saw you he was oath-bound.
He'll have to steal a ring or two to measure which size is right. It'll take some work to knock down the walls between your two houses, but he'll ask the lads for help. Simon knows you'll win them over right away if you cook dinner or bake them something sweet.
And maybe in time he'll have to try his own hand at baking. He always did want to put a bun in the oven, and Simon just knows that if you're the one to do it with him—
It'll come out perfect.
#cod mw2#cod x reader#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghost mw2#simon riley#ghost x reader#ghost/reader#simon ghost riley x reader#x reader#this should've been a 20+ chap slowburn but I'm just not patient enough for that
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♡ I'M THE BIGGEST HATER | MV1
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Leclerc!Reader [Face Claim: None]
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Summary: Max Verstappen and Y/N hate each other's guts. or do they? enemies since the day Max defeated Y/N at their very first Karting race when will these two just stop bickering and (in the wise words of Danny Ric) just kiss already?!?!
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A/N: been reading so many of these that I decided to try writing one myself. first time writing a smau so feel free to leave suggestions on how to improve. also comment to join the taglist as this is going to be a multi part series.
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Part 1 of my wheel-to-wheel but still in denial series: Masterlist
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
y/n_leclerc posted a photo:
📸: Young Y/N glaring at a smug Max after losing a childhood karting race. Y/N is sulking, and Max is holding the trophy like it’s an Olympic gold medal.
Caption: A perfect example of when I learned the universe is unfair. #tbt to the time maxverstappen1 ruined my life by winning our first kart race. Peak trauma. 👎
Liked by pierregasly, danielricciardo, lando.jpg, and 200,298 others.
Comments:
maxverstappen1:
You’re still mad about one race? Get over it. 🙄
↪ y/n_leclerc:
It’s not just one race. It’s the principle. I was 9, and you were an evil little gremlin.You’re lucky my parents raised me to be nice, or I would’ve shoved you off that podium.
↪ charles_leclerc:
She has a point. You were insufferable, Max.
danielricciardo:
Max still brags about that karting win to this day. 😂
↪ maxverstappen1:
danielricciardo I absolutely do. Winner’s mentality, baby. 🏆
↪ y/n_leclerc:
maxverstappen1 “Winner’s mentality”? You mean “cheater’s mentality”? I see you, Verstappen.
user1:
"Peak trauma" 😂😂 Please, Y/N, it’s been like 15 years. MOVE ON.
carmenmmundt:
Y/N was already giving "future champion energy" even back then.
↪ y/n_leclerc:
carmenmmundt AND she's got excellent taste in fashion, unlike Agent George. See you later for coffee, babe? 💋
↪ georgerussell63:
y/n_leclerc EXCUSE ME. Flirting with my girlfriend now, Y/N? 😂
↪ carmenmmundt:
georgerussell63 Sorry, George, Y/N’s just irresistible. 😘
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
maxverstappen1 posted a photo:
📸: Max on the podium after a win, champagne spraying everywhere.
Caption: Another win, another day Y/N gets to hate me. Can’t say I’m sorry. #winning #dontcry
Liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, alex_albon, and 360,210 others.
Comments:
y/n_leclerc:
Bold of you to assume I’d cry. I save my tears for important things, like Ferrari strategy meetings. 💔
↪ charles_leclerc:
y/n_leclerc Yeah, same.
lando.jpg:
MAX, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? 😂
danielricciardo:
Max trying to make enemies of everyone in the paddock one post at a time. Bold strategy.
pierregasly:
maxverstappen1 If you make her cry, I’m on her side. Just saying. 😎
↪ y/n_leclerc:
pierregasly You’re my favorite Gasly. Let’s get coffee and laugh at Max together.
↪ maxverstappen1:
pierregasly TRAITOR. 😡
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
y/n_leclerc posted a meme:
📸: A meme of someone dramatically rolling their eyes with the text “Every time Max Verstappen opens his mouth to talk”
Caption: Literally me every time this bitch opens his mouth. Like stfu?? 🙄
Comments:
maxverstappen1:
Just admit it—you think about me all the time.
↪ y/n_leclerc:
I think about you the way I think about stubbing my toe—briefly, painfully, and with regret. 😘
↪ charles_leclerc:
Get a room, you two.
↪ pierregasly:
charles_leclerc They’re already halfway there, bro.
lando.jpg:
Guys, this is giving “enemies to lovers” and I’m so here for it.
danielricciardo:
This is the slowest of slow burns. It’s like watching paint dry but funnier.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
danielricciardo posted a meme:
📸: A meme of two dogs barking at each other from across the street, then stopping to awkwardly sniff each other when they meet face-to-face.
Caption: Max and Y/N’s entire relationship summed up in one image.
Liked by y/n_leclerc, landonorris, georgerussell63, and 500,193 others.
Comments:
maxverstappen1:
That’s so not what’s happening here. I don’t sniff anything. 😤
↪ y/n_leclerc:
Max definitely barks more than he bites. 😂
↪ danielricciardo:
maxverstappen1 You bark loud, but Y/N’s the one doing the damage.
georgerussell63:
How long before you two just admit you’re into each other?
↪ y/n_leclerc:
georgerussell63 Into? I’m just into destroying him on the track. Anything else is wishful thinking, George. 😏
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
y/n_leclerc posted a Video:
🎥: Slow-motion video of Y/N overtaking Max in a karting rematch, with her laughing as she passes him.
Caption: I haven’t lost my touch, maxverstappen1 😎
Comments:
user1:
SHE JUST DUSTED MAX IN KARTING. THE RIVALRY CONTINUES. 😂😂
user2:
Max was so cocky, and now Y/N is out here reminding him she’s a Leclerc. 😏
maxverstappen1:
I let her win. Just being a gentleman. 😌
↪ y/n_leclerc:
maxverstappen1 I beat you so bad I thought you were parked. 😆
↪ user3:
THE SHADEEE OMG
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
y/n_leclerc posted a video:
🎥: A video of a car zooming past another car with the caption "Me speeding past Max Verstappen’s ego every time I beat him."
Caption: Nothing feels better. maxverstappen1, cry about it. 😘
Comments:
maxverstappen1:
I’m living rent-free in your head. Just admit it😏.
↪ y/n_leclerc:
Rent-free? Bro, you’re squatting in the garbage disposal of my brain. The plumbing is bad, and no one’s happy. 😤.
↪ charles_leclerc:
I’m going to need therapy just from reading this. Can we not?
lando.jpg:
charles_leclerc Your sister has the energy of someone who stays up late making Max Verstappen hate memes.
danielricciardo:
I’d watch a whole Netflix series of this beef.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
danielricciardo tweeted:
Prediction: Y/N and Max will either end up dating or killing each other. Either way, I'm selling tickets.
Comments:
user5:
I’d pay for that front-row seat. 🤣
georgerussell63:
Why not both? Dating and fighting. Iconic and toxic just like these two bitches.
y/n_leclerc:
danielricciardo keep your fanfiction to yourself Daniel 🤢
lando.jpg:
danielricciardo I’ll start selling merch. #maxy/n
↪ maxverstappen1:
I'll sue you to oblivion muppet
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
y/n_leclerc posted a photo:
📸: Y/N having drinks with Carmen, Lily and Kika
Caption: wining and dining these beauties while their boyfriends lose at Mario Kart. Boys, you could learn a lot from me. 😘 carmenmmundt, lilymhe, francisca.cgomes
Liked by landonorris, alex_albon, pierregasly, and 280,284 others.
Comments:
georgerussell63:
Carmen’s too good for you, Y/N. Stop trying. 😤
pierregasly
stay away from Kika wench 🤺🤺🤺
alex_albon:
lilymhe Don’t get any ideas. 😬
↪ lilymhe:
Sorry, Alex, Y/N just brings out the best in me. 😏
y/n_leclerc:
georgerussell63, alex_albon, pierregasly Relax, boys. I’m not stealing your girls. Yet. 💅
user1:
The fact that George and Alex are actually worried about this is the funniest thing. 😂
maxverstappen1:
georgerussell63, alex_albon, pierregasly I’ve been telling you guys for years—Y/N causes chaos. Don’t let her near the WAGs!
↪ y/n_leclerc:
maxverstappen1 You're just mad because I can charm people and all you have is your fast car. 😘
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
alexandrasaintmleux posted a picture:
Caption: Had a lovely coffee date with y/n_leclerc today. Sorry, Charles, you’ve been replaced by the better Leclerc. 💋
Comments:
charles_leclerc:
I leave you alone for one hour, and this happens, where's your loyalty babe?🤦♂️
↪ y/n_leclerc:
charles_leclerc Charles, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m just irresistible.
↪ charles_leclerc:
I’m being out-flirted by my own sister. Unbelievable.
oscarpiastri:
charles_leclerc Now I’m nervous to leave Lily around Y/N too… 😬
↪ lilyzneimer:
oscarpiastri Honestly? Can’t blame her. 😘
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ea3ddd2b8b3d778e0ff642dd03f72cd/38d566978413b907-03/s540x810/46f91cf3bba57bac029491e39d5fd5bb645b3ec1.jpg)
danielricciardo posted a meme:
📸: Meme of two people bickering with the text "Max and Y/N" but underneath it says "Us: Just kiss already."
Comments:
georgerussell63:
Finally someone said it. 😂
user5:
This slow-burn rivals-to-lovers storyline is too good. Can Netflix turn this into a reality show?
y/n_leclerc:
I'd rather stab myself in the foot
↪ maxverstappen1:
I'd rather jump into a pit of lava
↪ charles_leclerc:
I’ve never seen two people who hate each other this much. It’s exhausting.
↪ landonorris:
What if this isn’t hate, though? What if this is like, love in disguise?
↪ danielricciardo:
I’m just waiting for the day Y/N proposes to Max through a meme.
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#f1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 scenario#f1 fanfic#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#formula one#formula one x reader#formula one x y/n#max verstappen#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#formula one social media au#pierre gasly x reader#pierre gasly x y/n#daniel ricciardo#daniel riccardo x reader#geroge russell#george russell x reader
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Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Fem! Hybrid! Reader where…
Notes: Y/N is a Dobermann hybrid, abuse mentioned, hybrid au where reader is a human with animal-like features, cussing, just a short little thing I wanted to write (might extend it later), reader is described as tall
Ghost wanted to forget most things from his childhood. They were traumatic and induced a sense of fear in him that he absolutely loathed.
The one thing he never wanted to forget, however, was you.
You were a hybrid, basically a pet to the Riley family. Ghost’s parents never saw you as fully human but they bought you simply to shut him up. Ghost remembered blabbering on and on about wanting a pet and then you showed up one day, tail wagging at the thought of being adopted into a happy family. That dream was soon crushed.
You were just as abused as Ghost. You were hardly fed and when you were, it was off Ghost’s plate. You were his duty and despite being yelled at day and night about how you were always in the way, he continued to love you.
You and his brother were the only good things in Ghost’s life at the time.
Ghost recalled allowing you to sleep in his bed when it got too cold, how he would snuggle up to you to regain some warmth through his thin blanket.
You were particularly protective over Ghost, always sending his father pointed glares when the older man snapped at him.
You hated his father just as much as Ghost.
Life with you around was bearable. You never complained when Ghost returned home and immediately tackled you into a much needed hug, tears threatening to pour out of his eyes.
“The kids at school teased me about my bruises.” He whispered and in response, you kissed the dark marks marring his skin.
You made life better.
Ghost was in his older teenage years, ready to finally pack up and leave with you when you suddenly disappeared. His lifeline had been torn out of his grasp by his father, who remarked how he sold you to earn some more cash.
All Ghost remembered was seeing red that day and storming out of the house with his things, never to return to that dreaded house.
He joined the military and his one most important mission in life was to find you. It didn’t matter how many years passed and how many ranks he had climbed, you were still all he thought about.
The world was different now. Hybrids were seen as actual people instead of glorified pets. There was still no trace of you; his last lead was a dead end.
Ghost was ready to give up before Soap and Gaz dragged a tall figure into the room. “Found ‘er at the enemy base.” Soap uttered, “Was snipin’ our men left an’ right.”
The figure had a bag over her head but Ghost’s gaze immediately landed on the prominent outline of two long ears.
“Hybrid.” Gaz notices his staring, “Some kind of dog hybrid.”
The hybrid is anything but calm. It takes both Soap and Gaz to hold her back.
Ghost is quick to rip the sandbag off her head, coming face to face with a pair of familiar E/C eyes. You look the same, only a little older. Your left ear was damaged, there was some sort of tagged embedded in your right ear, and the sight of a shock collar around your neck made Ghost sick to the stomach.
Seeing your face was a reminder of the pain Ghost had faced during his early years. He almost had the urge to back away into the corner as memories flashed through is head. But he remained strong.
“Take that damn fuckin’ collar off ‘er.” Ghost spat, staring at the shock collar in disgust. You didn’t recognise his face because of his iconic skull mask but his voice had your ears flicking.
You stared at him with your head tilted at a low angle, almost seeming like you were glaring but Ghost knew better. You were simply observing him.
The moment Soap’s fingers brushed against the nape of your neck, you wildly flinched. Despite being retrained to a chair, you thrashed around, slamming the back of your head into Soap’s face.
“Ow, lassie! Calm down!” The Scot yelled.
Ghost was quick to weigh you down, placing his heavy hands on your shoulders. “Ay, bloody hell, lovie, ‘tis alright. He’s only tryna help.” Without a second thought, Ghost lifted his mask to give you a peek of his face before he lowered it again.
You finally stilled, ears twitching as you stared at Ghost.
“You know her?” Gaz questioned as he picked at the locked collar with a screwdriver.
“Yeah.” Ghost’s reply was short. The moment the collar’s lock came undone, he grabbed it and threw it against the wall.
“Based on her injuries and the collar, I’d say she wasn’t working with the terrorist group willingly.” Price uttered, “Someone’s gonna have to patch her up.”
“The lass has already screwed me over, I ain’ doing it.” Soap grunted, holding his swelling nose.
“I’ll do it.” Ghost butted in.
Without Ghost’s teammates, you felt more at ease. You sat on the bed in Ghost’s room, allowing him to clean your wounds.
No words needed to be exchanged for Ghost to understand your pain. You leaned into his embrace as he carefully wrapped his strong arms around you, not wanting to alert you.
“Ain’ never letting ya go again, lovie. That’s a promise. Ya never gotta see my father or those terrorists again. I’ve got ya. You’re safe.”
#ghost cod x reader#ghost simon riley#simon riley ghost#simon riley x reader#john price#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#cod x you#cod x reader#call of duty#hybrid au#alternative universe#gaz cod#soap cod#ghost cod#cod modern warfare#cod
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Imagine Michael Kaiser who came home with the house looking rather cold and empty.
Imagine Kaiser who just came home after a long season, snow dust all over his shoulder as he relaxed as soon as he steps home only to find the lights turned off, making the evening dark like it already is. In an instant, he turned stiff as his cold palms started to sweat.
Imagine the way he just stood there, bag hanging heavily on his shoulder as he stood there unmoving. Then his eyes lay upon the snow slowly falling outside. He could feel his heart picking up its phase. The way his vision starts to reflect on the window pane and instead of finding his reflect in the mirror, his old, younger, dirty little rat self was the one he saw.
Imagine the way he starts to recall none of his painful childhood but rather the less and less time he get to spend with you. Ever since the season started he was gone most of the time and just recently, he played overseas before coming back and playing within the league once again. He did not fail to notice how you seemed to be hiding something from him nowadays. The way you woukd excuse yourself in the calls earlier than usual.
Imagine the way he starts to panic upon the suddenly realisation that you may have left. Left because he was too busy on everything but you. That you grew tired of him. Well he knew how nasty he could be, how rude and annoyingly aggressive he could be. But you would not leave him right? He could change, he will change, he could be better- woof!
Imagine the way he pause once again. The breath that he did not even notice he was holding finally escape. Did he just hallucinate a dog? "No buddy, be quiet. Der vati would be here in a few moments okay? Hold it in till then." Okay maybe he was not hallucinating. Or maybe he was, maybe you left and he was just fooling himself you didn't. Woof!
Imagine the way he hesitated, the way his hands slowly reach out to touch the switch lights and finally give light into the house. He did not missed the way he heard a gasp coming from the kitchen but even still, that did not make him feel any better, more than ever, it made him nervous. What if his fears come true? What if you are not in there? What if you truly left? What was he supposed to do then?
Imagine upon entering the kitchen area, the first thing he noticed was the presence of people in there and upon looking at the kitchen island. His blue eyes met with a pair of (eye color) ones. There you were, a piece of crisy bread crust rusk in hand as you take a bite only to choke upon making an eye contact with him. With no time to waste, Kaiser hurry up to help up, and as soon as your throat clear up, you burst into laughter.
"Heilige scheiße baby, when I was hoping to surprise you, this was not part of the plan." Kaiser hates surprises. "Nevertheless, happy birthday baby. Take you being born, you're the best gift I could ever have" Michael Kaiser hates surprises, it makes him vulnerable, the way he doesn't know how to react. "I tried my best but this is the best recipe I could make with your favourite food, crispy bread crust rusk." Kaiser hates surprises, makes him look back in the days were he often thought of one only to be hurt and disappointed. "Also." You whistle, then a hurry small steps echoed in the kitchen. "Here." You picked up a familiar dog. The dog the two of you often saw whenever you went out a walk. "I know I could have adopted a new puppy in the shelter but on my way into the shelter I come across him and was like, why no take this one in- baby, are you okay?"
Imagine the way you took a step forward towards him, setting down the dog as he watches you reach out a hand to touch him. Only when you wiped away his tears did he knew he has tears rolling down his cheeks. "Baby- scheiße- sorry, I suck at surprise. I knew it was a bad idea. I'm sorry-" You were cut off when he grab a hold of your hand and gently caresses it.
Imagine, Michael Kaiser hates surprises. It make him feel like a fool know he does not know what to react. At the same time, he realised he was no longer the child who have nothing, have nothing but a stolen ball. "Meine liebe." He do not know the face he was making but he felt bad for making you cry too. Gently, he let go of your hand and gold you on your cheeks before leaning down to have your forehead pressed upon each other. "Danke, Ich liebe dich." Woof! Maybe surprises wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.
[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°
#dark night hero#blue lock#blue lock fanfic#blue lock imagines#blue lock x reader#blue lock kaiser#kaiser angst#kaiser x reader#kaiser#kaiser fluff#michael kaiser imagines#blue lock michael kaiser#michael kaiser x you#bllk scenarios#bllk x you#bllk x reader#bllk kaiser#bllk
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