#a lil thicker noodle

[ruthlesslistener]

Hi Aren, I would actually like to ask you a question about pet snakes. I've had a 75 gallon tank sitting around and I've been thinking of getting a hamster or snake. What's your experience been so far, because I do know that snakes can live quite a long time, compared to a two year hamster. I wouldn't want to have a pet I can't care for. How difficult has it been with juniper? Should I get a snake?

I was going to type out a very long, detailed response to this, considering how passionately I feel about snakes, but then I realized something, which is that I do not know very much about hamsters other than they are extremely cute and also extremely violent and typically unhandleable. So instead I will tell you my experience with owning a snake, after a preliminary warning that a 75 gallon glass tank is far too small for a ball python and is generally unsuitable for a high-humidity species (but is plenty big to house many other pet snakes that make perfect beginner reptiles! Anything under 4 feet would work, really)

First off: Juniper is by far the easiest animal that I have ever cared for, which is a list that includes parrots, rabbits, tropical fish, and to some extent, horses. Pretty much all of the work with caring for a snake is in setting up their enclosure and making sure their temps/humidity are all perfect, which is only stressful if you didn't make sure to do it a good week or so before you pick up your little noodle. IF you do everything correctly and have triple-checked to ensure that all the temperatures are perfect, the humidity remains stable, and all the exit points are snakeproofed (if they can get their snout through, they can get the rest of their body through), then you should be good to go.

Maintenance then consists of cleaning their water bowl once a week, filling it when needed, spot cleaning substrate when they poop (which you WILL notice; snakes are scentless but their scat is not), feeding them when needed, and doing a monthly deep clean where you scoop everything out, wipe it all down with a snake-safe cleaning solution, and then put in fresh substrate. Those will be the basics for all snakes; it's not exactly rocket science with these lil lads. They need species-specific care, of course, but at least in my experience with ball pythons, the species-specific care tends to all be in the setup

That being said:

-Juniper does not like being handled. She likes coming out to explore, as far as I can tell, and she tolerates me most of the time, but do not get a snake if you want something that will feel affection for you. I have no idea if hamsters bond with their owners, given as most species I've heard of are solitary. However, I will say that snakes are far more handleable than hamsters are and far less likely to bite you (generally speaking; I have never been bitten by Juniper, but I have been many times by my birds and rabbit). Their bites will also always be much less painful than a hamster bite, because they lack the jaw strength to make it significant. With the smaller ones, their teeth might not even manage to puncture your skin.

-Figuring out how to feed can be a bit of a learning curve. Assuming you're feeding frozen-thawed- which you should- and have no problem with feeding dead mice- which you shouldn't- figuring out the size you need to feed your snake can be a bit tricky, especially if they're a rapidly-growing baby who will need to move up in size very quickly. You'll get an eye for it eventually, and snakes are pretty forgiving as long as the food isn't too big for them to handle, but I would recommend getting a kitchen scale and finding a feeding chart that does a percent by weight analysis if you don't feel confident enough in the 'same size or slightly thicker than the thickest part of your snake' rule

-I pretty much never see Juniper before 8, sometimes not at all on certain nights. Granted, this is because she is a nocturnal species who is most active around 3-4am, but snakes are also just shy creatures as a rule. If you have a good hide for them, you won't see them as often as you might like- though I WILL say that more active, diurnal species like colubrids will be seen more often than ball pythons, and that all snakes are pretty curious little creatures! Oftentimes when I see Juniper peek out at me from her hide, it's because she sensed me walking past and was curious about what I was doing.

-Snakes fart. And they fart loudly. It's not often, but when it happens, it can be terrifying before you realize what's going on. And yes, if you get a nocturnal species, this can and will happen at night.

-Snakes are not very well-loved pets. Expect to get some mixed results when/if admitting to owning one. Personally, I love this, because it drives away the people I don't want to deal with anyways (and keeps my dad from visiting), but if you're a sociable person, that might be a bummer

-Finding a good reptile vet can be extremely tricky. Look around first before you get a snake- the shortest lived pet species that I've heard of are the tricolour hognoses, and those last 8 years (though any pet deserves medical care, no matter the length of their life, I've found that the longer they live the more fuckery they get into). You want a reputable vet on hand before getting any exotic pet. The types of snakes recommended for beginners are pretty tough critters who likely won't get ill unless you mess up their enclosure (which again! check before you pick a noodle!), but it's always best to have a vet on hand, because again. Fuckery.

-Handling sessions are great, but you need to be careful not to scoop them up after they've eaten, because the stress might lead them to regurgitate on you, which is no fun for you and terrible for the snake. Also limit handling when they are in shed, as they are grumpy, itchy, blind, terrified of the world around them, and overall in a vulnerable state. Be careful when scooping them up before a feeding session, because some of them are very enthusiastic about their food and will just grab whatever is in front of them to try to nom on. Again, if you have a 4-foot snake or under, this will likely not be a big issue, but it might put them off food. Or not, if they're a kingsnake. Kingsnakes are great eaters, and will try to eat themselves just as readily as your hand, the tongs, or the mouse you're actually trying to feed them

-Don't get a petstore snake. You don't want a petstore snake. Yes, I got Junie from a reptile chain, but it was a well-maintained, privately owned store by people who really knew their shit and had a large selection of healthy hatchlings available, so I was willing to risk it. A petco or petsmart ball python, on the other hand? Those are farmed snakes, and that's a gamble. It's better to get from a breeder online or at a reptile expo than to buy from a store

-As you said, they can live LONG. I'm hoping for 30 years or over with miss Juniper, but that's a long commitment, and long commitments are a lot of responsibility. I'm lucky to have a mom and friends who'd happily snakesit if necessary, but do you?

Overall, I think that snakes are the lower-maintenance, easier pet to care for than hamsters, but keep in mind that I am very biased as a snakekeeper, both because I have a deep passion for reptiles and also because owning any animal with a 2-3 year lifespan would simply break my heart. If you don't want a long commitment, garter snakes or tricolour hognoses only live around 8-10 years, but if you change your mind, then there are a plethora of snakes that can comfortably live in a modified 75 gallon. Do your research first! Every pet has its pros and cons- I can't decide which is better for you, I can only tell you why Juniper works for me. The blog @/is-the-snake-video-cute is great for learning about snakes and snake husbandry if you want to learn more from someone with a greater variety of experience

(And hamster owners, feel free to chime in; I have no experience with the lil beasts other than what my mother told me, so I can't offer any insight into the benefits of their care. Multiple minds are better than one!)

[kadee-pn]

12.02.22

hi. it’s 2:39am and i’m watching a chem lec:,D life is hard.

today was good day filled w fun moments w my friends<3 i woke up early (ok 9am isn’t even early but these days it is for me) to eat bplate w miss pauline!!!!! she da best. i loved waffle. then we grinded at anderson. we sat near the window and it was so beautiful :o i was in awe. def made studying much more enjoyable 10/10 experience. also pauline is vv studious and focused which encouraged me to put on my a game 🤝 thank you pauline.

then, i met w a friend from my writing 2 class to do peer review! she’s so sweet :) we worked diligently and finished within an hour woooo! afterwards, i walked home to cook a late lunch- i made an omelette and hashbrowns LOLOLLL i just like breakfast food a lot. then, i watched tvd (ofc) + watched chem lec. then, i went to eat din w kimi!!!! we had viet food in sawtelle which was yummy. the bún noodles were a bit thicker for some reason LOLOLL but w the veggies and everything it was solid meal. i would recommend :D next time, i’ll be bold and try the pho :p we got boba too and sat there talking for such a long time HAHAHAHA like literally about everything. i feel like w kimi i can talk so openly and comfortably , which i’m super grateful for :) she’s amazing

then,, we went to johnny’s for kappa wine night! SUCH YUMMY WINE i’m still thinking about it. like it was fr good. the game we played was so difficult i messed up so early on and had to chug 😀 but it tasted good so it was fine LOLOLLL i just rly enjoyed being w everyone bc i’ve been a lil mia these days w studying and doing my own thing. so it was def a good break from all da stress

now i am on couch and watching chem lec. D: i think imma go to bed soon tbh bc i was supposed to teach breakout session for bls tmr but we have no students T-T so i have the whole day to study tmr anyways hdheja

side note: i love rain. i was thriving today

song of the day: cry with you by jeremy zucker

ok that is all gn yall

peace

kd

[vampiricgf]

my secret soup recipe

so I promised the recipe and tada here it is! all ingredients are listed below and the preparation method is outlined below that list!

ingredients

4 large carrots (cubed)

4 celery stocks (chopped)

1 white onion (chopped finely)

2 parsnips (chopped)

1/4 cup white wine (for deglazing)

2 tbsp of butter

8 minced garlic cloves

7 tbsp tomato paste

6 tbsp chicken bullion

7 cups water

1/2 pound of your pasta of choice (I prefer a thicker, smaller noodle for this like rigati)

2 chicken breasts

1 tbsp avocado oil (for the smoke point but you can use whatever oil you have on hand/are most comfortable using)

for the seasonings I don't measure exactly it's a do what feels right sort of situation

parsley

basil

oregano

msg (lower sodium then salt + improves overall taste I promise msg isn't scary that's rooted in sinophobia, it's just a seasoning)

pepper

red pepper flakes

sweet paprika

3/4 cup of heavy cream

parmesan cheese

Preparation

slice your chicken breasts in half and season them (remember to dab both sides off with a paper towel, this helps your seasonings stick to the surface of the meat). i use msg, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and a lil dash of slap ya mama on the chicken, season both sides. If you're worried about bacteria, wear gloves and make sure you remove them once you're done handling the raw meat. Wash your utensils and cutting surfaces thoroughly. Always wash your hands after handling raw meats

in a large soup pot go ahead and cook the chicken in your oil over a medium high heat, if you're unsure what chicken looks like fully cooked use a meat thermometer and cook (flipping both sides, about 4 minutes each) until it reaches an internal temp of 165 degrees (bacteria is gone at that temp in chicken). once that's done set it aside to be cut into pieces after it cools

Get a separate pot large enough to hold your pasta, get that filled with salted water and on your stove to boil. follow the cooking instructions on the box/bag for your pasta

now in the same pot used to cook the chicken add your onions and allow them to cook until translucent, make sure to add your wine in as they cook. Deglaze your pan (scrape the bits off the bottom while the onions cook, it's not gross it's part of making a dish taste more vibrant all that stuff is flavor!). Add in your carrots, celery, and parsnip. you can add in a sprinkle of msg and cook them down until they're softer but not mushy.

Try making like a little hole in the middle of the pan and add your garlic and butter directly in that little hole. Stir to make sure nothing burns, garlic cooks quickly so work fast here you don't want your garlic burning or the whole thing tastes like shit. Add in your tomato paste. With tomato paste you want to let it cook before you add more things, this helps the paste incorporate in the dish correctly (you should do that any time you're using tomato paste in a recipe) so stir it around, mush it down, do whatever for a minute until it starts turning a slightly darker color. That's when you're gonna add your water. So pour that in, add your bullion, add your seasonings. Let that come to a boil and give it some good stirring to get everything mixed together. Once it's boiling reduce the heat a bit and let it simmer for about ten minutes. After the ten minutes add your heavy cream, cooked and strained pasta, and your cooked and cut up chicken.

Stir some more until everything is definitely mixed together and you can kill the heat and enjoy some soup! put your parmesan on top and you can eat it with some crusty bread for a little something extra too :3

[sinha-ri]

More facts-

Cus...why not. I like saying facts about them and this is the best place for me to keep these facts before I forget em. Again, mostly about Lily and Oliver cus u havent noticed, I have an obsession.

Oliver hates lemonade and orange juice with a passion

Oliver likes to get Lily into good habits, so when he found out he always bit his nails, he decided to put nail polish on them to stop that. So Lily wouldnt feel bad about it, Oliver painted his nails too. Now its their favorite thing to do together

Lily loves and t h r I v e s off of snacks. Mostly unhealthy snacks. Oliver doesnt mind and eats some too but he tries to stop him because then he'll be crunching in the middle of night.

Lily actually has a separate room with its own bed and stuff from when he was staying as a guest. Since they got together, he doesnt use that room anymore but still has it as a sort of storage.

Oliver still practices magic and sometimes gives magic lessons or rants about it to Lily if he ever asks. Lily adores these times cause hes just such. A. Cute. Nerd. And Oliver is so passionate and knowledgeable about it

Lily has social anxiety so large groups of people tend to really get him anxious so going into central cities alone terrify him and chances of an attack are real high.

However, Oliver mostly always joins him and holds his hand in reassurance which aids in making him feel better. After a long while tho, it got better to where he can at least go to their village on his own without getting anxious or fearing an attack , but still struggles in bigger crowds and strangers, but a hella lot better than before

Similarly, Lily knows Oliver has some of his down days and he tries his best to do all errands and chores Oliver typically would do and just be there for him and try to make him feel better with affection. Whether that affection is eating snacks together, surrounding him with Pickle and Jack, or cuddles

Lily is slow in sarcasm/jokes and social queues like...sometimes he takes the most ridiculous things too seriously so if you tell him "Oh ya the toilet paper is the backyard" he will literally go to the backyard expecting to find toiletpaper and unless you say something he'll stand there for a while and then facepalm.

Oliver actually has a pretty bad temper. It's more like he's too friendly that others dont say anything bad but if they ever make the mistake of doing it, this boi gonna swing. If he tries to do something but can't, he just bursts in frustration

Lily actually exercies!! Or well, most of the jobs he takes include hunting so he likes to stay fit and feel fit. He's a strong boy but unless you see him without a shirt he looks like a short noodle

Theyre both so?? Chaotic?? Theyd be the type to go a park and expecting it to be empty. If it is they'll play and probably stay in the swings. If any little kids ever come though, they will n o t give up their seats and pettily stay there. If they go to a store and want something that a kid also wants, they will fite and try to be the faster one in getting it, the other one cheering the one getting the thing on!

Lily had never owned pets before his life untill he got Jack, then Pickle

He got both Jack and Pickle under the same conditions. Lily wanted to help Oliver and release things off his plate and said he’d buy some things that Oliver typcially would also buy himself. He was hesitent but let him. The first time, he tried hard to find the stores before he encoutered a puppy in a box and completely forgot about buying the things and went home with the puppy instead. Oliver was mad at first, mostly because he took the puppy out of pure impulse and forgot to buy his things, but then calmed down and decided to agree in keeping him and help in trying to teach Lily how to take care of him. When he got Pickle, it was the same thing, except this time Lily remembered what he was supposed to buy and did. Oliver just deadpanned but was cool with it, this time letting Lily actually name it.

[00prettyskull]

Different diet replacements I've tried ♡

ZOODLES ☆ 6/10

> Spaghetti, but out of Zucchini!

> You can either use a spiral cutter, to make the Spaghetti like shape, but you can also peel and cut the zucchini in half, and then use the peeler to peel thicker strips off the cut surface.

Some people sprinkle them with salt and put them away for a bit, to drain them of water

> I don't like zucchini that much, and I also find the watery texture a bit too off for my taste. Never hurts to try tho! And if you like zucchini these will be great.

CARROT NOODLES ☆ 8/10

> The same as zoodles, but with carrots instead!

> You can use a spiral cutter or the peeling technique, I usually actually cook mine afterwards

> The texture is less watery, and more solid, which works better for cooking (and eating imo). They can also be a bit more difficult to work with, because they are smaller than zucchini. They also tangle easily, but I think that is also the case for zoodles.

> You can make a spaghetti replacement out of any kind of vegetable, as long as its a similar length and shape :)

CAULIFLOWER RICE ☆ 10/10

> Cauliflower rice replacement

> You cut the Cauliflower into big chunks, then grate them so they look like rice. Some people then fry it in a pan, or eat it raw. I like to season mine well (always recommended lol) and pop it in the oven for it to crisp up. A lil splash of oil could help this!

> I LOVE cauliflower rice. I even made it during recovery. Mexican cauliflower rice is still one of the best things I've ever eaten. Of course cauliflower won't taste much like rice, but I think it's a good replacement :)

KONJAC NOODLES ☆ 5/10

> You know these, your mom knows these, I decided to add them anyways: Noodles made out of konjac

> I can buy these at the local stores, so check those out! You can buy these on amazon otherwise :)

> IIIIIII don't like them. They don't have a taste, which is a plus. AND they are super low cal (usually like 8-12/100g), but I hate the rubbery like texture. It makes me want to gag and not continue to eat

> WHICH of course can make you eat less. It did make me sometimes! But sometimes I just ended up making something else, because I was so dissatisfied. So I can see this direction leading to binging, when u have a problem with that.

> If you don't mind the texture, I say go for it and try it!!! I wish I could like them <3

(There's also konjac rice, I haven't tried it but I can imagine the texture is maybe a little less horrendous)

That's all I could think off for now!! U can leave ideas if u want. I'm planning on making another one :)

I hope this could be helpful ♡

[xdollydoodlesx]

Random OC Idea, you know how when Huggy catches you he grabs as if to hug before biting? (Kinda makes sense due to their name lol)

What if there was one that simply hugged, their fluffy chest and/or noodle arms giving a deadly boa constrict move that’ll make you wish Huggy caught ya.

Think Huggy Wuggy but with way too much huggy~ Those scientists wanted an effectionate toy that loved giving hugs n dear lord do they have one… only problem is they are so hug focused they don’t know how to stop n ended up having to be locked up for both the human and fellow toy’s sake. I have no original name/number for them atm so oof, also they are a defect Huggy.

Enjoy some headcannons I pulled out of my ass lol:

90% deaf and 85% mute, the only noises they make are either a sharp n short blood curdling screech when really mad or a soft n burbly grumble/purr when happy.

May do weak grunts unintentionally when thinking hard or really focused on something but it’s easy for them to strain their malformed focal cords so ye they shush 9/10.

VERY sneaky cus sound muffling fluff + good sense of smell helps them find food and possible ‘cuddle partners’. Well that and a unnaturally strong grip comes in handy too.

The (haven’t chosen colors yet) fluff on their chest, arms, and back are thicker n denser then normal somewhat like a persian cat’s. Can be hella soft when properly taken care of too tho after the disappearances happen he becomes a bit of a messy n stinky lad… you’ll see why shortly.

Arms are a bit longer compared to legs (could just be the fluff but idk) but their paws/hands completely lack any form of claws. Do got lil toe beans on hands n feet for traction tho-

Has a second set of teeth like Huggy/etc but since they don’t really open their mouth unless really pissed/eating it’s a rare sight. Plus it’s smaller then normal too so other then giving a spoop it doesn’t help much overall. Plus he’s too much of a softy 9/10… tho tbh being bitten is the better option when it comes to this guy.

Has the brain of a somewhat smarter then normal toddler, but honestly they could actually be smarter but just not able to properly show it atm. Maybe the boi be autistic idk

Are pretty good at prize focused puzzles n memorizing layouts mostly hunting by sight n smell, they are VERY stubborn once they find a target and since they are good at climbing he will take full advantage of their surroundings.

Thanks to their fluff they can curl up when about to fall/land to minimize damage making surprise drops common n less deadly… yes he has comically bounced on some occasions.

Wraps his arms around himself to get around easier/when sleeping/stressed.

Values physical affection/mainly hugs n nuzzles above all else n will drop just about anything they are focusing on to hyper fixate on the new target human or not, only albeit loose rules are it has to move, smell interesting, or make noise to catch his eye.

Doesn’t actively hunt for food because of their bad habit of just settling down in a quiet spot to stay with their wrapped up current cuddle buddy, at least til they start to rot/break apart which ends up making the big derp go under the impression the partner simply left rather then either rot n stuff so they eat or ditch the remains before moving on… their inability to know when/how long something they are hugging has been dead for being why he a stinky lad.

They will mainly only scavenge if hungry or left without a cuddle buddy long enough, if it’s not clear taking the cuddle buddy away at any point is a BAD IDEA btw.

Also he doesn’t understand that the snapping of bone or muffled screams are a bad thing and due to his problems this habit will be hard af to break. So overall just avoid at all costs til you can plan something out whether it be putting him down or rehabilitating them.

Thankfully they don’t wander much unless being unable to find their next cuddle buddy.

Also he is like 7-9 feet tall but due to their terrible slouching problems they looks a good bit shorter.

If you see this dummy run or find something to pull their attention off of you, even painting a humanoid/toy-like creature on something they can pick up will be a good distraction, but be careful cus he can learn which things make better cuddle partners!

I am surprised with how much I love this idea like wtf, those toy makers wanted an affectionate toy n dear lord have they got one! This was a good bit inspired by @lefanartist (sorry for the tag I am just rlly proud plus wanna give good credit^^) might try drawing them later but feel free to throw interps around idk 💚

[sevengummisharks]

5 7 and 29- the weirdly specific and unrelated ask post

5. favorite form of potato? A: diced hash. lil crispy cubes of goodness. especially with a lil bit of hollandaise on top

7. what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium? A: sharks! especially the lil bamboo sharks in the touch tank at my local aquarium. or really anything in the touch tank. I love petting them.

29. preferred pasta noodle? A: Spaghettoni, it's just a bit thicker and has more bite to it

[bobeni]

love galore!  ↷ shoto todoroki, black!m!reader.

✶ synopsis! › i don’t have a good summary for this either. but it’s pretty much a lil lunch date/break with shoto after school.

✶ wrdcnt! › 737.

✶ cw’s! › fluff, third pov, no quirks & regular high school, chubby!todo, a bit of body insecurity that is quickly “resolved.”

✶ notes! › (feb. 23) this is so old and cringy, please ignore the weird lines jfc.

  It was around three in the afternoon, school had long let out. The wind grazed some dead leaves off of the fall trees and a certain bi-colored boy watched them fly on past him.

Kids lingered around the campus, probably waiting for their own friends to hurry up so they could walk home together. While Shoto let his small group head out without him, he was shuffling his way back into the school to find the special boy that he held dear to him.

It was a bit of a walk to get to the faraway back section of the school, seeing as the band room was ways down.

Taking a peek through the glass, he saw a familiar face sitting by the window near a few stray percussion instruments, with two bentos placed neatly in front of him on the desk.

A small creek, then the door was slowly pushed open and it made the boy look up at him. His unique eyes shined with familiarity and love when he saw who came in, “Hi, [name].”

“What’s up, Sho,” pretty plump lips pulled into a soft smile. “I already got the food so we can just chill.” Shoto blushed a pretty light pink and gently plopped himself down in the seat next to his boyfriend.

The other’s smaller thighs rubbed against his own thicker ones, Shoto gulped and shifted a bit as to not let himself focus on the anxiousness that pooled in his stomach. A hand stopped his jittery movements, the heat radiating from said hand burned against his uniform pants as the other boy squeezed the flesh there.

“Stop squirming and eat, the food’s gonna get cold.” It proved effective enough as Shoto looked down at the various meats, veggies, rolls and rice that filled the box. But his eyes focused on the cold soba that was splayed in the center. He scooped up some of the noodle and shoved it into his mouth, silently grumbling to himself. “You really shouldn’t be giving me these things everyday…” the bi-colored boy muttered, but he still continued to eat either way.

[name] snorted around his own food. “I mean一” he swallowed before continuing, “I mean, why would I stop, though? You like the food, right?” Eyes bored up into his mixed matched ones. Shoto avoided further eye contact, nodding and setting his chopsticks down on the desk. “I do, but I don’t really think it’s a good idea to… encourage this.” The boy gestured to his figure. He rubbed dejectedly at his belly through the button up shirt.

“Hm,” the boy let his eyes trail over the taller boy’s body, he always knew that his boyfriend was a tad bit self conscious about his weight, even though he never outwardly expressed it. Shoto wasn’t as tedious as he thought he was.

Bringing his arm to wrap around the bi-colored boy’s shoulder, he reeled him in close so he could be squished to his side. “Babe, I think you’re one of the most beautiful guys I’ve ever seen. Plus you’re like, really huggable and thick as fuck and I like that.” The statement made Shoto turn red and he puffed his cheeks in embarrassment, [name] cackled and poked at them.

“You’re too nice to me, [name].” Shoto maneuvered his way so he could plant a kiss on his cheek. “I’m just being the best boyfriend I can.” Snorting, the young boy snuggled into two toned locks before returning the kiss. “Well, I appreciate it. Thank you.” Shoto tried to rest his head on [name] shoulder’s but he was shaken off. “Why’d you do that?” He frowned adorably at him, which made the other boy inwardly coo.

“Because there’s still food here, and we’re nowhere near done.” Blue and grey eyes squinted down at the neglected bento, his lips still formed into frown. “We can’t cuddle and eat at the same time?” A pair of eyes were rolled but stil, he smiled. “We can, but it’s like, distracting, you know.”

Shoto still made a move to grab [name]’s hand to trap it in his own lap. “Then let it be. Just eat, the food’s getting cold, right?” The other boy’s splutters were ignored in favor of slurping on his soba.

“I一” the boy huffed, but gave a little squeeze to the soft hand in his and plopped some tempura into his mouth while grumbling at being played.

[alch3mic]

star-crossed.

mermaid!sans x gender neutral reader.

fluff with a bit of light cursing.

* this boy has been on my mind all day, so please have a small drabble featuring our beloved soggy lil’ noodle!

It is said that the ocean loves the moon.

Long ago each and every night, when the sun finally hid away beyond the horizon, she alone would be the one to watch as the moon danced across the darkened sky. There were no stars in those days, just the moon and the empty night, as she was fated to be alone after the sun had set.

The children of humanity were left dreaming upon the lands of the earth, their eyes closed in slumber after a long day of playing in the warmth of the sun. Tucked far, far away in their beautiful dreams, they remained ignorant to the quiet and lonely dance of the moon.

Such heartache outcried in her steps, growing louder each and every day that she swept across that empty sky of darkness by herself. There was no one to accompany her along that long journey, and she swayed completely alone in silence.

Oh, how the ocean wished she could dance alongside the moon!

To stand beside her in that blackened night sky...

To let her know she was not alone!

..But the ocean could never dance with the moon, for the ocean belonged to the earth and the moon belonged to the sky.

They were forever to be apart, split by the land that divided the earth and sky. Even in the moments when the moon landed among the horizon, the ocean's words could never reach the moon, for she was too far in the heavens.

....But the ocean would not be deterred, for she loved the moon.

So she danced, sending her waves crashing against the shore in tandem with the moon as she cascaded across the sky, all in hopes to create a melody for her to dance to.

..Still the quiet hymn was too far, never to be heard by the moon so far up in the heavens. She was alone, as fate decreed, and would continue to be alone each and every night for the rest of eternity, among a blackened sky as the rest of the children of humanity slept away in ignorance of her pain.

And one day..

The sadness of the moon's loneliness became too much to bear.

So she wept.

And she wept.

And she wept.

And she wept.

And her tears scattered across that darkened night, painting small fragments of light.

From those gentle, lonely tears, her children were born.

Stars.

So many of them were scattered all along the sky, shining and twinkling in such gentle beauty that the ocean was left speechless at the sight. She ceased her motions, standing still as she gazed up at the once empty heavens now decorated with tiny glints of light that danced alongside her beloved moon.

And in that quiet moment as her waves stood still..

...Mesmerized by the thousands of stars that now accompanied her once lonely love..

....The ocean realized… that it was not the moon who was alone anymore…

….

The ocean breeze felt nice on your face, as did the rays of the hot summer sun. Scents of warm sand and salt always seemed to wash away the tension that had built up in your shoulders from a stressful week, and the gentle sounds of waves crashing upon the shore eased your irritations. That was exactly why you decided to move out of your busy port village closer to the empty shores down south so many years ago, to be closer to the great blue sea and to get away from the annoyances of daily life and people.

After all, no one could bother you out here!

There were no noisy neighbors to poke into your business.

No busy streets or loud cars.

No gossiping elders who liked to talk behind your back...

Or…. irritable aunts who liked to cause nothing but trouble.

…..

Or..

Pesky.. reputations..

……

Out here it was just you, the ocean and some good ol’ fish!

…

Except nothing was biting…

...Because of the huge carnivorous mermonster resting in your lap...

A sigh passed your lips as you reeled in yet another empty line, glaring at the hook and bait as if it had personally offended you in some way. It didn’t.. You knew the fish loved these fat worms that you dug out of the rich soils near the volcanic mountains...

It was all his fault.

Every time this troublemaker came around it's like the whole ocean just emptied of fish! Did they have a heightened sense against mermonsters or something!? Seriously! Whenever you came fishing around this area before you’d catch more fish than you knew what to do with!

But now..?

"I'm starting to wonder why I let you hang around," you muttered, glancing down to the mermonster who had his head nestled in your lap.

His eyesockets were closed but there was definitely a grin on his face as he pretended not to hear you.

..Not like he could understand you anyways, but surely he could hear the irritation in your tone.

"Hey," you said, poking his surprisingly soft cheek. "I'm talking to you."

A small chirp was all you got in reply, the mermonster peeking at you with a lidded gaze and smiling fondly, before burying himself more into your lap.

Well, that's what you get for not shooing him away the first time.

Now he's become too comfortable with you, with every attempt at telling him to get lost having been met with.. what you assume is him laughing (which is usually just a short but distinctive set of chirps and trills) or him giving you the biggest set of puppy dog eyes you had ever seen.

And damn were they a good set of puppy dog eyes..

Each and every he so much as flashed them your way you would relent, letting him stay.

..Really though.. just what the hell were you doing?

You came out here to be alone and instead you make friends with a highly elusive mermonster?! People would pay out the ass for a chance to even catch a glimpse of one! If you caught him and brought him to someone, you'd be set for life!

...

You glanced back to the ocean for a few moments, the sounds of waves once again resounding in your ears before looking once more at the skeletal mermonster. He seemed more than content napping in your lap, his eyesockets shut as his chest seemed to contract and then expand as if he was breathing. The rest of his long serpentine body was extended out, soaking up as much warmth from the sun as possible..

He was several meters long, a very lengthy yet colorful tail making up most of his size. It was bright and slightly fluorescent, with soft shades of pale blue and yellow as well as small specklings of color in between, almost making him glimmer in the afternoon sun. The rest of his upper body was skeletal, much like that of a human, yet had similarly colorful fins protruding from both sides of his head and arms, and large dark sockets that had tiny white lights present in them. His bones were a bit thicker than a human’s too, and had soft shimmering freckles that decorated his cheeks and shoulders.

It was easy to see how people described mermonsters as captivating. You often found yourself admiring just how pretty this troublemaker was, especially now that he looked so peaceful...

…..

"Why do you keep bothering me again?" you asked aloud, earning a gentle chirp in response.

Right.

Because you fed him.

If you knew throwing a single fish out to a curious mermonster so many months ago would’ve caused you this much trouble.. maybe you would’ve…

…..

Well.. no point in regretting the past.

That’s why you were here in the first place…

To escape thinking about that kind of thinking.

A deep, salty breath filled your lungs as you inhaled, setting down your fishing rod before admiring the great blue sea before you.

At the very least you didn’t mind his company.

He was curious, a little playful and sometimes a bit clumsy with that long body of his, especially when attempting to navigate some of the smaller rooms in your house, but.. he was also surprisingly cute.

Especially now, when he was slumbering peacefully in your lap without a care in the world.

“...What a pain in the ass you are...” you muttered, with a smile on your face.

...But now with him by your side, you were no longer alone...

[cruelfeline]

Dope!!! Its not a very strict recipe, and a good few ingredients can we swapped out or omitted for your personal preference/availability of them!

Ingredients !

Rice noodles (any thickness but i do recommend ones on the thicker side!)

Broth (vegetable, chicken, beef, etc--can be prepackaged or you can make it with a bullion)

A SHITTON of seasonings; Basil, Oregano, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, salt (i like to use celery salt!), paprika/chili powder (to taste), and ground black pepper

A Dash/Dollop of; Soy sauce, Teriyaki sauce, and Chili paste/Chili oil (optional, i just think its better with a lil extra spice!)

Some kind of meat or a FLAVORFUL meat substitute! This is NECESSARY for the broth--i find it enriched it from Chicken Lacroix to an ACTUAL soup. Precooked is generally better, but if you dont mind cooking the meat yourself, you can do that too! It can be frozen fajita beef, Actual thin slice pho beef, chicken, shrimp, pork--ive used lunchmeat and Salami in it before! Those obviously werent the Best but they got the job done LMAO

Veggies! I usually just toss some chopped green onions in and garnish it with spinach, but this ones very much a free for all

Instructions !

Put broth in pot. Turn on burner. Stir all the Dry seasonings in while you wait for it to Boil (put meat in NOW if its frozen!)

Wait for boil. Put noodles in and deal with That like youd normally cook noodles.

Once noodles are Easy to stir, add Soy sauce, Teriyaki sauce, and chili paste--stir them in!

Noodles should be close to done. Add any Cooked meats and Veggies in Now.

Once noodles are done, youre done! Find a Big bowl, pour yourself a serving, and enjoy!

I hope this can be nice and fairly easy meal for ppl to try out! I find it fun to cook bc, aside from watch it Boil, a lot of all you gotta do is just Sit and Sprinkle Herbs and Powders into Boiling Pot, which is just a lot of fun when you have a blanket wrapped around your shoulders and can pretend to be a witch whos about to blow gordon ramseys mind >:)!!!

So yea, there ya go! And regardless of if you try this or not, i hope you have a good day, and i hope you're enjoyin your grilled cheese bonanza!

Ah, thank you! One day, I hope to try this!

And I'm sure others will appreciate it as well c:

[theficplug]

l Next Lifetime l Erik Killmonger l

warnings: none, but the usual 18+ for the eventual smut and a possible tw for grief but i promise it gets better and its a romcom

synopsis: reader grieves Erik until she doesn’t (i’m trying not give too much away). I really want to make it a series that i actually keep up with (sorry Girls Trip readers) because I have up to part 4 written. alright thats all i hope yall vibe with it. 

erik killmonger x black reader 

Every night since Erik crossed over into the ancestral plane he has visited you in your dreams. You went through every single stage of grief before you began to accept the facts. 

At first you sat and festered in your anger for him and refused to talk to him. The audacity of him,  after you begged him not to follow through with the idiotic plan of trying to take on all of Wakanda. 

You told him that his ideas and his heart would’ve been in the right place had they not have been clouded by rage and carrying years of hurt and anguish. You understood where he was coming from but you knew and he knew that the way he was going about it was only going to leave him with one ending. 

He loved you more than anything but once his mind was made up about something there was nothing in Heaven or Earth that could change it. 

You knew that he would have to see it through even if that meant to his own demise . 

On the first night you would be lying if you said that you didn’t cuss him out for leaving you like that and going off and getting himself killed. You told him that he had done the same thing to you that “King” Azzuri had done to his father. Left you feeling alone and to deal with the loss of not having your heart with you. 

“I COULD HAVE LOVED YOU THE WAY YOU WANTED TO BE LOVED. I COULDN’T HAVE LOVED YOU MORE EACH DAY IF I TRIED. FUCK YOU E. THAT WAS SO DAMN SELFISH OF YOU. FUCK YOU. I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. AND YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO INVADE MY DREAMS LIKE THIS. YOU AREN’T EVEN REAL.” you would yell into his face and watch as his demeanor was a lot different there. 

It was as if his Earthside worries didn’t bother him as much his face seemed much more relaxed and his scars had healed over. 

You would run your fingers over his chest as the tears well in your eyes and you take in the sigh of him for a moment. 

“I know… It wouldn’t have been enough. I couldn’t contain it. It felt like something had come over me . Possessed by the idea of revenge. I needed it. I felt like my father’s memory was worth avenging until I sat down with him here. He and moms sounded a lot like you at first. They were pissed off, but they understood. The ancestors told me that “a child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth”. I wanted their warmth at first. To know what it would feel like to have what T’Challa and Shuri got to experience their whole lives. But it was something about the heat of fury that felt different. But I realized somethin’.  On this side, don’t none of that matters. None of it. The only thing I see and think of is you and how I wished I would have focused on growing old with you instead.” he explains and you fall into his arms to let out the sob that you had been holding in for a while.

You wake up in the dark room in cold sweats and gasping for air. You realized that you had been crying in your sleep and wiped your eyes before trying to shake it off and smack at your phone to get the alarm to stop. 

For weeks it would go on like this every night. You would settle into bed and fade into hues of reds and purples as you wander around finding him sitting in different sections of the flowers and creeks. He was holding a little bouquet of random tulips and wildflowers in his hand for you. 

You settle on the grass next to him and rest your head on his shoulder as he turns to kiss your head. 

“You ever wonder what life would be like if it wasn’t like this? If we could truly do anything, be anything and not have to worry about everything else.” you ask him and he takes your hand in his. 

He looks at you pondering your question for a moment before tucking a lilac into your hair.

“Nah, I can’t let myself think like that because I'll get stuck in wishing I were there. Instead of getting to enjoy these moments and building my own lil slice of heaven with you.” he says quietly thinking things over before leaning into kissing you softly. 

You wipe at the tear falling down his cheek before replacing your thumb with a kiss. 

“Take me back to being 6 years old in the cool murky ass Toll Plaza waters,feeling weightless, not caring about a damn thing.”

 “We’re reaching out for each other with our popsicle stained hands and laughing at shit that doesn't even make sense but it made sense to us. My gramps yelling at us to not go too far out so that he can get to us. We called him crab pawpaw for the rest of the day...What I wouldn't give to be sitting on my grandmother’s porch swing, trading cards with you. Our birthday is coming up soon. I’m going to miss getting charms from you.” you say to him softly as you run your fingers through his thicker beard and take in every second that you get with him. 

“I’ve been promised that I can give you something more special than a charm. You gotta just trust that everything gon’ be alright.” he reassures you and pulls you closer into his arms 

“GIRL IF YOU DON’T GET UP RIGHT NOW. YOU LEFT THE ROAST IN THE OVEN-” your best friend Tika yelled from the kitchen as she flailed around with the extinguisher and you wake up puzzled for a moment before letting out an “oh shit”. You remember that you laid down on the couch  to scroll while your roast baked and the next thing you know, you were sleeping and that that old ass oven is smoking. 

You spring up from the couch grabbing a towel and fanning the fire alarms trying to get them to stop blaring before the Super comes pounding at your door. 

“Alright. Alright, stop hollering. I was trying to surprise you with a nice dinner to thank you for being there for me over the last 9 months. I know it ain't been easy having me mope around and not be myself. I swear I sat down for 10 minutes tops and I was just flat out asleep. Them doubles at work has been kicking my ass and grad school-.” you explain and Tika shakes her head.

She puts the extinguisher down and holds up her hands. “When my dad passed junior year of college, you and your entire family were there for me and my mom. You guys made sure that we had food for weeks and were able to make rent on time and everything in between. I know what grief looks like. I couldn’t imagine losing the love of my life like that. I know that we didn’t know Erik like you knew him but the way you talk about him. You’ve convinced me that he hung the moon itself in the sky.” she reassures you and you nod while looking over at the blackened roast that's sitting in the pan, burnt to a crisp. 

“It’s only 6:30. Wong’s is still open. I'll just go get something real quick. Do you want vegetable noodles and the teriyaki chicken again?” you ask as you pull on your shoes and grab your umbrella. 

“Surprise meeee and you owe me flan for cleaning up this messss.” She sing songs as she grabs the mop.

“Leave it up to a theatre major to turn nearly burning down our apartment into a song. I got you.” you reply, laughing on your way out the door. 

You couldn’t shake what Erik had told you in your dream this time though. He had been promised that he could give you something better than a charm. What the hell did that mean though? You were sure you were probably just overly stressed and exhausted from working and classes. You were going to enjoy your birthday beach trip this weekend with your friends and try to put everything else behind you. 

Somehow as lost in your thoughts as you were you managed to make it to Wong’s and back home just in time to greet an overly dramatic Iridia at the door. 

“What the hell happened here?” she asks, sitting down her bags and surveying the burnt roast and little residues of foam still left to clean. 

“She fell asleep and almost turned our overpriced condo into dust.” Tika answers for you and you give her a small nod.

“I got you spicy egg rolls?” you offer and she hesitantly takes her order from you with a small smile.

“Got something to lift your spirits. It’s new dresses to wear this weekend cause girl I get it. I do, but grey is just not your colour sweets. You’ve got yellow undertones, you need scarlet reds, ochre. Something, not, this…” she trails off pointing at your baggy sweats and oversized sweatshirt. 

You laugh softly at her bluntness finding it kind of nice that some things have remained normal. 

“Whaaat? I thought this was hermit chic?” you retort sarcastically. 

“Thank you. That’s almost sweet of you.” you reply by taking the bags from her. You look at the red mesh dress and admit that if there’s one thing about Iridia is that her bougie self got style and you missed getting dressed up. 

 You thank the girls one final time before retiring to your room to finish some of your assignments up. You look over at the clock and notice that it’s 2 am. You crack open the fortune cookie on your nightstand and eye the quote etched across the small piece of paper 

“Pfft. If only that damn 10$ that i lost last week could circle back around to me. That’d be nice.” you thought to yourself before closing your laptop and trying to get some rest to have enough energy for this weekend. 

As you settle in the usual hues of lavender, violet, and scarlet come into view and you are taken into the field of flowers and you giggle as the butterflies land on your shoulder and one on the tip of your finger. 

Your plan worked. You only thought about E’s favourite double chocolate cake and hoped that you’d be able to bring it into your dreams with you.

You carried it proudly as you scan the field of flowers and beautiful willow trees for him. 

“E? E ! Happy Birthday to us! E. Where you at?” you call for him and look around but he’s nowhere to be found. You sat on a large boulder by the water hoping that he was just exploring and would find you eventually. 

You didn’t get much sleep that night after waking up shivering and in tears thinking about how the only connection you two still had left was broken. 

You do eventually fall back to sleep only to dream about running across campus and being late to a final even though you were nearly done entirely with university. 

A few restless hours later and you were already dressed and enjoying your fresh brew while watching the world awaken from the kitchen window. 

“Good morning.” you startle Iridia and Tika who were trying to sneak into the kitchen with breakfast and set everything up for you. 

“Damn we can’t get anything past your insomniatic self. Buon compleanno bambina!” Tika says sliding on her little party hat. 

“You’re wearing the dress! You look so pretty and is that eyeshadow I see on you? Okay lemme find out our girl is slowly coming back to herself.” Iridia says smiling at you. 

“Thank you, do I smell pancakes?” you question and they laugh as they hand over the box to you. 

After you have all gone over plans for the little weekend trip you grab your bags and are ready to hit the road. 

It was only an hour to The Smith’s beach house for the weekend but all 3 of you were well stocked with snacks and playlists. 

“We are heerrrreeeeee” Tika announces while parking the car.  

You get settled into the lavish and snazzy beach home, courtesy of Iridia’s parents. You hadn’t been since junior year of college and was just glad to be in a different setting.

“They said that the wine bar is open to us and we can have the party here as long as it looks the same as when we found it.” Iridia says already getting ready to change into her neon bikini to compliment her rich complexion and hit the beach. 

“What, it’s summer? You never know who the winds of adventure are going to blow in-”

 “FUCK MEEEE” you both hear Tika call from the bathroom down the hall. 

“HUN?” you call back and you both laugh at the long sigh followed by “guess who Mother Nature decided to surprise 2 weeks early? I didn’t even think about it and didn’t pack any tampons.” she explains

“On it. I’ll be back in like .2 seconds in the meantime toilet paper pad it and figure out which boutiques we’re going to damage our savings with first.” you say before hearing Tika’s protests. 

“It’s your birthday. I’ll go.” Iri suggests and you shake your head. “I love y’all but it’s our first birthday that we don’t get to spend together apart from when he joined the military and I know he wasn’t perfect and he had his flaws but I really wish that I could get to hug him once more. To make him feel special even if just for a second… So please, I'll get the tampons. I could use the fresh air.” you say quickly dabbing at the tears prickling the corners of your eyes. Iri pulls you in for a hug before nodding and starting the conversation with Tika through the door about if she would prefer to go for the street festival first or the carnival games.

- - - -

You pull at the top of the sundress getting it to hit just right and not fall down as you make your way down the aisle of the market and pick up a few things that y’all might need for the weekend like the small cups for shots, fresh fruits for your ‘cure to a hangover’ smoothies, and food. 

You pick up a small double chocolate cake with ‘happy birthday’ written in cerulean letters.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry ma. I don’t mean to bother you right now but  I got a head splitting migraine right now and can’t find the Advil for nothing and was hoping maybe you’d know which aisle? That’s what I get for listening to my friends talking bout,  drink “the beast”. Niggas had me dreaming in colours and flowers. I felt like I was traveling through space or something... It’s my birthday too. Happy Birthday “ you hear the man ranting away behind you and his voice reminds you of E’s. You chuckle softly to yourself before turning away from the cakes to see the man's face. 

You let out a loud scream and drop the cake on the ground . It crumbles instantly across your sandals and everything fades to black before you faint. 

When you came to you were sitting in the break room of the market with Erik and the store managers who were opening a ginger ale for you and asking if you were okay. 

You nod slowly, coming to, and closing your eyes again to count to 5 as they leave the room. 

“This can not be happening. I know that this is not happening right now.” you say to yourself and you look up at him again to see that he’s still standing there. 

“It’s hot as fuck outside. You probably just got a lil overheated. This ginger ale is cold so you should be alright.” Erik says to you and you shakily take the ginger ale from him. 

“Who are you? I don’t know what kind of joke this is or who put you up to this, or if my girls thought that this, whatever this is would be funny but it’s not. It’s really insensitive.” you say as tears fill your eyes again. 

“I’m N’Jadaka Stevens? My parents, I’m adopted, but those are my parents regardless, own Aloha Oakland so you ain’t gotta worry about paying for this” he gives you the bags of items you collected before you fainted.

“ I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. I never come down here so I don’t really know where shit is in this place. I'm actually here with my own friends, celebrating my birthday. So, I don’t really know what’s going on. You good?” he asks again before asking you to follow his finger. 

You wrap your arms around him and break down sobbing. “Happy Birthday.” you whisper to him and he looks at you puzzled for a moment. 

“Ma, you lowkey weird but everybody needs a hug and I can’t have my birthday twin crying on her special day so come here.” he says squeezing you a little tighter. 

“If you’re here through the weekend. I’ll catch you around. Try to stay out of the heat but if you go out try to keep something cold with you to drink so you don’t pass out again.” he advises and you take him all in. 

 You slowly give him a once-over noticing that his hair was now faded and it was neatly lined up on the sides connecting with his beard. He slid off his hoodie and left the black tank top underneath, you quickly noticed that there were no scars or keloids. His jaw was unclenched and there was no vein popping from his forehead. There was a serene and relaxed look etched across his face despite him stating that he had a migraine earlier.

“But shiiit if you don’t mind. Can I get your number? Cause for some reason. I don’t know why I feel like I know you? To be honest I don’t remember much from before being adopted.” he admits 

You nod your head before putting your number into his phone and you grab your bags and quickly make your way to your car. 

You breathe in deeply through your nose before looking around. “I’m losing my fucking mind.” you say to yourself quietly. “I gotta be. This can’t- This can’t be happening right now.” you say resting your head on your steering wheel.

- - - -

“What happened to you? It’s been like an hour almost. Are you okay?” Iri questions as she eyes you and the bags. 

“I just. I fainted that’s all and they wanted to make sure I was okay before going home.” you explain and Tika thanks you for the tampons as Iridia overly dramatic self sighs and presses her hand to your forehead. 

“Poor thing, I knew I should’ve gone with you. Sit down, I’ll get you a cold glass of Stella Rose.” she says laughing at the wine part and walking to the kitchen. 

Group Text from DakaStevens84: Party @ Royal Rochelle’s Roller Rink. Yes, the roller rink cause who says you’re too old for a roller rink? Come skate fast and shake ya ass.

You laugh softly at the message knowing that this is something that he would’ve totally wanted to do but never took his eye off his plan or gave himself time to just breathe and be. 

“My fault.  It’s Daka from Aloha Oakland btw. My friend Orleans really tryna go through with this. Man a whole ass party planner and this the best he could come up with. Y’all can still come through though if you want. I wouldn’t complain if I got to see you again, and them pretty ass coffee eyes.” he texts to you and you smile softly at the butterflies fluttering in your stomach while looking at the text

“Do you believe in reincarnation?” you ask Iri as Tika joins you at the bar.

[tag list @doublesidedscoobysnacks @chaneajoyyy @mirandkimy​ @doitforthevine67 @dasia21 @depressionandfandomsinc @sinfully-dope @ambitionwood @heybriheyyy @wholelotta-melanin @theesotericqueen @mbakuwife @spookys-girl @teardropzih @bigchoose @ceo-of-baby @sweetpeachjones @lost-ssoull @love17us @beautifullmelodyxx​ @ghostfacekill-monger​ @shyblackgurl​ ]

[burndownthehousetonight]

The Trooth

Sonic - Between his aerodynamics and overcompensating ego he’s totally a small dick man,  maybe 3 or 4 inches. But he’s the kind of dude who cares about his partner between all the smarm, and can 100% screw your brains out with just that

Knuckles - Normal length, thicker than average. He’s never done a sex and doesn’t know how it works and frankly he wants to bottom so don’t worry about it

Tails - hes just a tiny lil kid don’t

Shadow - Weird alien hybrid with some weird alien hybrid dick. Tentacle? Bioluminescent? Weird color jizm? I dunno what but he’s got some janky junk. Old cranky bastard who’s super careful about opening up sexually to anyone

Silver - The most average dick size. A soft pink color, mostly it lays against his fur and looks cute as someone WRECKS the ass of future twink supreme. Give it a kiss he deserves it.

Eggman - no genitals only eggs

Big - If you want to fuck Big thats your own problem

Vector - Big crocc with a big crocc cocc. One of those traditional scalie dicks that’s flesh-tone and tapered, probably about 9 inches. A VERY awkward top who wants to please but doesn’t really know how but he’s trying

Espio - Those double reptile dicks you see furries give lizard boys, your standard 5ish inches. Treats sex as a game and always has to have control, uses his long tongue and ninja flexibility as extreme advantages.

Charmy - Did you know bee sex lasts two seconds and then the bees dick explodes and they die cause thats what charmy deserves

Mighty - Maybe thicker than average, but all around your typical guy friend. Chill in bed, makes everything fun and easy.

Mephiles - Makes lots of goopy tentacles to cram up you, dont let him hes mean

Metal Sonic - its a drill

Jet - Similar to Sonic, short dick that sits nicely in a cloaca for aerodynamics. Unlike Sonic, fucks only for himself, so he’s a pretty disappointing ride.

Manic - Canon manic absolutely has one of those slightly long, thin noodle dicks. Just kinda chills and takes care of himself you don’t need to help him out. Way less good than my Manic

Scourge - Sonic’s opposite. Since Sonic’s a tiny boy, Scourge has got a HUGE fucking schlong, like really fucking massive, probably just shy of a foot. Sonic has the ego of someone overcompensating, Scourge has the ego of someone who KNOWS hes got it. He’ll fucking break you and you’ll want more

Antoine - A tiny bit longer than average, enough to give him that pompous ego. Likes to think of himself as a romantic partner, he’s sweet but just ok. Saw one pic where his pubes were just his ridiculous quaff and I can’t get that image out of my head

Rotor - Absolute friend, very thick and very inexperienced. He’s the kind of guy who always asks “am I doing it right? Is this good?” Big snuggler too, he’s a good boy

Geoffery - penders characters dont deserve dicks

Rough - Longer than anyone expects, but not very flexible in how he fucks. Either you live the way he pokes you or you’re just “... ...okay???” Your mileage may vary

Tumble - Shorter than anyone expects, bottoms all the time anyways. Perfect match for Rough, Tumble is a size queen who loves his janky style

[gguksgalaxy]

Masters Week 1

August 31 - September 6

This week was my first week of philosophy and I don't think it could've been any better. Or well, maybe, if Ethics had posted the stuff normally and if we had irl classes. But really, considering that I loved every minute of it. The classes were so interesting and engaging, and on top of that the fellow students I got to meet are all so nice. They're people from different walks and sides of life, but we got along really well. It's great to finally study somewhere where everyone is motivated to learn and grow. Right now my favourite class is Philosophy of Mind, the teacher is a gamer and he's so tech savvy and chill! Aside from that I sadly didn't get much time to write, I did plan a little bit. I'll try to write more next week. I also tried out two new recipes. The first was a crinkle cookie recipe, the chocolate ones, and they are delicious (especially cuz I added just a tad too much salt). Wanting to try out the vanilla next week! Oven works great so, nothing burnt and they baked pretty evenly. AND I made curry noodle soup based on something I saw on Masterchef. I'll leave the recipe for that below the cut if anybody is interested.  Even though I enjoyed myself I had quite a few emotional lows. On top of which word decided to corrupt my paper and I had to rewrite it again on Sunday, aka what is supposed to be my school free day...A bit of a bummer. But I'm trying to see the positive! Looking back, this week was good.  Week Rating: 3.5/5 Something I learned: Do not use Word. Ever. Again. 

Curry Noodle Soup (1 serving): - 70-100 gr of chicken marinated with a lil (almond) milk, curry powder and salt.  - 1 portion of noodles of your choice - 1 bell pepper - 1/2 onion (or 1 small one) - 1/4 leek, leak ? the one that's a huge variant of green onions.  - 1 clove of garlic - same amount of fresh ginger - 1 green onion (optional) - 1/2 tbsp curry paste (adjust to taste and brand) - 50ml coconut milk  - 1/2 tsp chicken stock powder (adjust to taste and your brand) - 1/2 tsp fish sauce (optional ig?) - Whatever cooking oil you use.  note: you can add whatever soup veggies you want and I think it would work with potatoes too.

1. Marinate your chicken  2. Chop yo veg quite chunky, but do it fine for the garlic, ginger and green onion.  3. Cook chicken but not quite through, remove from pot. 4. Add curry paste, garlic and ginger to pot on low heat. Fry for a little and then add coconut milk. Stir well! Don't let it burn! Remove from heat if necessary.  5. Add pepper and onion, fry for 1-2 mins.  6. Add leek, probably 500ml of water (just eyeball it tbh you want to cover your veg) and stock powder. Cook until it's a bit thicker, but you don't want it too saucy. It's a soup not a curry after all.  7. Cook your noodles in the soup, add additional water if necessary! You can also cook them separately, whichever you prefer.  8. Serve warm with green onion as garnish!  9. Enjoy it, and don't burn your mouth please. 

[micamone]

(2 ingredients) Eggs + Tortillas is pretty bangin, you just fry up some corn tortillas in a little oil into chips, then crack some eggs and scramble it around. your ratio of eggs+tortilla may vary but my ratio is 4 tortillas and 2 eggs per person. cook the chips in batches if the pans to small for them all at once, then just dump em all in and keep turnin it over so the eggs coat it all. Salt + pepper. other omelet fillings like green onions if you feel fancy or whatever can get tossed in.

(3 ingredients) my family’s Sopita, which i grew up to learn is actually just a simple Sopita De Fideo, is my ultimate comfort food. you can use any small noodle really, but i prefer small shells or short vermicelli. fry them in just enough oil to coat them, tossing them around the pan till they turn toasted. maybe burn a couple if u like that flavor. then dump in a can of tomato sauce (one small can is good for a serving of one-two people’s amount of noodles. past that it gets watered down.), and some water to loosen it, and wait till they’re soft! might have to add more water as it boils out or is soaked up. or if you like it soupier, vs thicker! spice with salt + pepper, or some tomato chicken bullion (LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY MY MAN). Sometimes i even add a tablespoon of lemon juice. Top with cheese. maybe green onions.

(4 ingredients) a simple Chili my man is pretty easy too.  unless you’re from somewhere it’s like this huge thing on spices and stuff, then you’ll hate me for this. i fry a handful or whatever from my frozen bag of onion and bell peppers in an empty pan, brown 1lb of ground beef (tho you said no red meat in ur tags op, so maybe turkey?) with it, and dump taco seasoning on. add can of whole beans, can of diced tomatoes, boom. swish a lil water in the cans to clean them up a bit and dump that in too. keep cookin it long enough to get all warm again and the flavor spread out over the canned stuff. sometimes i add some frozen corn, cause a whole can of corn is kinda a lot, sometimes i add more tomato sauce. sometimes i add slices of garlic in too, around time as the meat. but that all takes it to 7 ingredient so eh

Salads are just. leafy greens and whatever tf else you feel like tossing with it. Chicken, tomatoes, tuna, couscous, who cares. if the things are good together and good with a leaf and a sauce throw that shit in a bowel and munch.

Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner

[the-sun-princess]

@jordemme replied to your post “lrb: is the weirdass anime thing where the focus of tight...”

FOR A SEC I WAS CONFUSED BC I DO THAT but i do that on characters that already have thick thighs and the stockings emphasize it

like thats fine, bc like, oh actually thick n squishy, k got it, yeh its gonna poff a lil

but if ur doin it to make noodle legs thicker like....cowards

[proudace]

So, context isn’t important, but me and my friend were talking and we started doing a bit that I just have to share.

(Btw, these are copy pasted)

_______________________________________________

My friend, Morse: That'll be 77 years in jail mcnugget😩

Me: Hey now, your McNugget. I’m chicken noodle

Morse: FUCK chicken and noodles. Who are those bitches even? Besides things can't stay the same forever, Just change things up a lil in life or else you'll get std's

Me: You wound me, McNugget

Morse: I'm in agony due to your behaviour, Chicken noodle

Me: My behavior is entirely acceptable, it is you who is out of line, McNugget

Morse: Thy does not have any presentable evidence for that statement, Chicken noodle. (Ps: ur also a piece of shit)

Me: The court shall rule in my favor, McNugget. You are only trying and failing to wound me further

Morse: I shall not stop, Chicken noodle. It's my life and I shall abide by my rules.

Me: Your life was given by thy mother, and you know your mother would take my side, McNugget

Morse: Your life was given by god, and we both know he shall not choose sides for as he disagrees with both of us, Chicken noodle. Blood may be thick indeed but spoiled milk is thicker.

Me: Well then, I guess we shall let god decide long after we are six foot under, McNugget.

Morse: God shall not and will not decide, as the famous poet Justin bieber once said "*what do you mean?*" I shall rot like old yoghurt and you will have the same fate, Chicken noodle.

Me: How am I even supposed to reply to that?

Morse: Google it, rat ass. When imma publish this Shakespeare is gonna be real quiet