#maybe 2 garters if theyre small enough to be cohabbed

[ruthlesslistener]

Hi Aren, I would actually like to ask you a question about pet snakes. I've had a 75 gallon tank sitting around and I've been thinking of getting a hamster or snake. What's your experience been so far, because I do know that snakes can live quite a long time, compared to a two year hamster. I wouldn't want to have a pet I can't care for. How difficult has it been with juniper? Should I get a snake?

I was going to type out a very long, detailed response to this, considering how passionately I feel about snakes, but then I realized something, which is that I do not know very much about hamsters other than they are extremely cute and also extremely violent and typically unhandleable. So instead I will tell you my experience with owning a snake, after a preliminary warning that a 75 gallon glass tank is far too small for a ball python and is generally unsuitable for a high-humidity species (but is plenty big to house many other pet snakes that make perfect beginner reptiles! Anything under 4 feet would work, really)

First off: Juniper is by far the easiest animal that I have ever cared for, which is a list that includes parrots, rabbits, tropical fish, and to some extent, horses. Pretty much all of the work with caring for a snake is in setting up their enclosure and making sure their temps/humidity are all perfect, which is only stressful if you didn't make sure to do it a good week or so before you pick up your little noodle. IF you do everything correctly and have triple-checked to ensure that all the temperatures are perfect, the humidity remains stable, and all the exit points are snakeproofed (if they can get their snout through, they can get the rest of their body through), then you should be good to go.

Maintenance then consists of cleaning their water bowl once a week, filling it when needed, spot cleaning substrate when they poop (which you WILL notice; snakes are scentless but their scat is not), feeding them when needed, and doing a monthly deep clean where you scoop everything out, wipe it all down with a snake-safe cleaning solution, and then put in fresh substrate. Those will be the basics for all snakes; it's not exactly rocket science with these lil lads. They need species-specific care, of course, but at least in my experience with ball pythons, the species-specific care tends to all be in the setup

That being said:

-Juniper does not like being handled. She likes coming out to explore, as far as I can tell, and she tolerates me most of the time, but do not get a snake if you want something that will feel affection for you. I have no idea if hamsters bond with their owners, given as most species I've heard of are solitary. However, I will say that snakes are far more handleable than hamsters are and far less likely to bite you (generally speaking; I have never been bitten by Juniper, but I have been many times by my birds and rabbit). Their bites will also always be much less painful than a hamster bite, because they lack the jaw strength to make it significant. With the smaller ones, their teeth might not even manage to puncture your skin.

-Figuring out how to feed can be a bit of a learning curve. Assuming you're feeding frozen-thawed- which you should- and have no problem with feeding dead mice- which you shouldn't- figuring out the size you need to feed your snake can be a bit tricky, especially if they're a rapidly-growing baby who will need to move up in size very quickly. You'll get an eye for it eventually, and snakes are pretty forgiving as long as the food isn't too big for them to handle, but I would recommend getting a kitchen scale and finding a feeding chart that does a percent by weight analysis if you don't feel confident enough in the 'same size or slightly thicker than the thickest part of your snake' rule

-I pretty much never see Juniper before 8, sometimes not at all on certain nights. Granted, this is because she is a nocturnal species who is most active around 3-4am, but snakes are also just shy creatures as a rule. If you have a good hide for them, you won't see them as often as you might like- though I WILL say that more active, diurnal species like colubrids will be seen more often than ball pythons, and that all snakes are pretty curious little creatures! Oftentimes when I see Juniper peek out at me from her hide, it's because she sensed me walking past and was curious about what I was doing.

-Snakes fart. And they fart loudly. It's not often, but when it happens, it can be terrifying before you realize what's going on. And yes, if you get a nocturnal species, this can and will happen at night.

-Snakes are not very well-loved pets. Expect to get some mixed results when/if admitting to owning one. Personally, I love this, because it drives away the people I don't want to deal with anyways (and keeps my dad from visiting), but if you're a sociable person, that might be a bummer

-Finding a good reptile vet can be extremely tricky. Look around first before you get a snake- the shortest lived pet species that I've heard of are the tricolour hognoses, and those last 8 years (though any pet deserves medical care, no matter the length of their life, I've found that the longer they live the more fuckery they get into). You want a reputable vet on hand before getting any exotic pet. The types of snakes recommended for beginners are pretty tough critters who likely won't get ill unless you mess up their enclosure (which again! check before you pick a noodle!), but it's always best to have a vet on hand, because again. Fuckery.

-Handling sessions are great, but you need to be careful not to scoop them up after they've eaten, because the stress might lead them to regurgitate on you, which is no fun for you and terrible for the snake. Also limit handling when they are in shed, as they are grumpy, itchy, blind, terrified of the world around them, and overall in a vulnerable state. Be careful when scooping them up before a feeding session, because some of them are very enthusiastic about their food and will just grab whatever is in front of them to try to nom on. Again, if you have a 4-foot snake or under, this will likely not be a big issue, but it might put them off food. Or not, if they're a kingsnake. Kingsnakes are great eaters, and will try to eat themselves just as readily as your hand, the tongs, or the mouse you're actually trying to feed them

-Don't get a petstore snake. You don't want a petstore snake. Yes, I got Junie from a reptile chain, but it was a well-maintained, privately owned store by people who really knew their shit and had a large selection of healthy hatchlings available, so I was willing to risk it. A petco or petsmart ball python, on the other hand? Those are farmed snakes, and that's a gamble. It's better to get from a breeder online or at a reptile expo than to buy from a store

-As you said, they can live LONG. I'm hoping for 30 years or over with miss Juniper, but that's a long commitment, and long commitments are a lot of responsibility. I'm lucky to have a mom and friends who'd happily snakesit if necessary, but do you?

Overall, I think that snakes are the lower-maintenance, easier pet to care for than hamsters, but keep in mind that I am very biased as a snakekeeper, both because I have a deep passion for reptiles and also because owning any animal with a 2-3 year lifespan would simply break my heart. If you don't want a long commitment, garter snakes or tricolour hognoses only live around 8-10 years, but if you change your mind, then there are a plethora of snakes that can comfortably live in a modified 75 gallon. Do your research first! Every pet has its pros and cons- I can't decide which is better for you, I can only tell you why Juniper works for me. The blog @/is-the-snake-video-cute is great for learning about snakes and snake husbandry if you want to learn more from someone with a greater variety of experience

(And hamster owners, feel free to chime in; I have no experience with the lil beasts other than what my mother told me, so I can't offer any insight into the benefits of their care. Multiple minds are better than one!)