#a job that pays me okay
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i'm a very don't tolerate bullshit kind of person and I respect and expect it so much when other people are real and straight up with me anyways whatever I say stems from my own thoughts and I cannot lie to you and tell you to do something I think is stupid if you ask for advice. anyways an acquaintance of mine who majored in English unless you want to work in primary school for a pay of barely 700 dollars complained how her parents want her to get a masters degree and she's thinking about getting one in marketing or something similar and then later on spreading into tech saying how she can work as a data analyst and I literally almost laughed out loud like it's absolutely insane how little university life prepares us for the future and how absolutely useless it is that you have university graduates here thinking they can work a job that requires a degree in either IT or economy as someone who read and talked about books for grades like please be so serious right now. I'm not upset with her for thinking this is possible just the general society for letting these young people down by telling them every career option is valid and it doesn't really matter what you study in university because it does
#in a general scheme of things it doesn't matter what you study in university when u study useless shit and never get a chance to work#a job related to that#but people who majored in medicine#mathematics engineering biology physics etc like you dont hear them talk about how studies don't actually matter bc they're working jobs#they studied for#adding law onto it as well#like we really need less people in humanities I'm not saying we need no people in humanities#humanities are really important but we need LESS people in them#and we also need less people in universities in general#go learn a skill you can actually use to make money off of in the real word we need electricians and people fixing shit around the house#we need people making ceramic or wooden floors we need carpenters#we dont need more people majoring in English abeg#the society and the school system is failing the younger generations so much by affirming their ideas of what the world looks like#because a highschooler cannot know whats best for them in the long run and we need to aid them#and i wish someone told me this before I went to university I would've saved myself so much trouble and time#and im not complaining bc i genuinely have it so much better than at least like 50% of my ex classmates#i have an appartment#a job that pays me okay#a side hustle#a car even though its old#savings#a future plan#idea of what im going to do and where I'm going to end up#but if i had someone advise me from the beginning I would've saved so much time and effort
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brighter days ahead
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk art#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk leaks#nobara kugisaki#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 268#im sobbing about them its 1am and my hand hurts#but ive got more in me i havent been this happy n hopeful in so LONG#HES BACK#THEYRE ALL BACK#we might b okay guys it might all b ok .... :'>>>>>#im ignoring the minor salt abt all of yuuji's scars being Gone#like im happy he has both eyes n all that#but what can i say id gotten a bit attached to the new look :<<<#n my yuuji injury list is out th window hgdfghjkgd everything ive drawn is now inACCURATE CRIES#i predicted megumi having a scar on th Other side....yuuji now has his depth perception back........sighs#shoko is too good at her job gdi#all of this is /lh btw the loss of scars is small price to pay !!!!!megumi is BACK and SMILING and they all r gna b ok i believe :')#home stretch we r in endgame they can make it this is OUR jujutsu kaisen first year believers
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I'm so mad that post was misinformation because there is actually an EXTREMELY important conversation to have about the production schedules artists are forced into. There's no need for exaggeration, the conditions are bad.
I work for webtoon. My publication schedule is weekly. While publishing I'm required 10-15 pages a week. Fully colored.
This means I'm finishing a 150 page fully colored graphic novel every 10-15 weeks.
When my comic is not updating, I am not getting paid. Any time writing, editing, or off is out of my own pocket. I don't get healthcare. They do not provide any assistants. They expect me to promote myself; they chose to deprioritize me before I even launched and gave me an end date half a year in. I never had a chance.
And this is the industry standard! Every company has artists forced into crunch hours, overtime, and burnout. Artists are literally dying early due to it. So many of my friends can't afford to go to the doctor.
It's unsustainable and untenable, and it's also the expectation our audiences have.
If we want to have this conversation, there's plenty of conversation to be had with the realities of the situation. It's bad as is.
#and people get mad at us about 'short updates' lmfao#the companies are absolutely abusing our passion and our desperate situations#but readers genuinely offer little to no grace#if I am going to be able to leave#then the conditions for me to be able to leave need to exist#and they just Dont right now#I'm not making nearly enough to pay my bills without webtoon#I NEED the job#I dont have a car#I cant fucking afford one#I can't drive anyway#I NEED TO WORK#THIS IS MY JOB#I want to leave I'm being mistreated but I CANT!!!#anyways. whatever#I'm so fucking upset that someone just idk spread misinformation#and now the conversation is about like nooo she was under the same shit conditions as everyone else#she's just a really good writer#like okay that's awesome and I'm really glad#but WOULDNT IT BE NICE IF SHE WASNT ALSO OVERWORKED?#AND ALSO IF GOOD WRITERS WERE ABLE TO WRITE WELL WITHOUT HAVING TO BE OUTLIERS???#god it makes me so so so mad!!!!#fucking ruining a really important conversation to have!!!#we're mistreated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we just are!!!!!!!!!!1#I'm not paid enough to build the savings to take risks!#this 6 month break was EVERYTHING#I NEED to start working to pay my bills now#like it's over I ran out of time#its heartbreaking#I hate it here
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My master says I just have a unique spirit.
#ranpo: my detective skills are telling me your master is a huge babygirl#mob: wow... you're good#mash: would u like a creampuff?#mob: no thank you#ranpo: i'll take his#mash: u had all of near's#near: thats okay i didnt want them. sugar brings back memories i aim to forget#ranpo: see! technically i havent had any that arent mine yet#mash: you had mine too... i had to hide the last two creampuffs in my jacket#ranpo: so there's enough for me!#mob: ... my master said i shouldnt get into cars with strangers unless theyre paying me for a job#dimple: he didnt say it like THAT#mash ranpo near and rob in unison: like what?#get in loser#we're going stimming#anime#anime memes#bsd#randpo bsd#shigeo kageyama#mp 100#death note#death note near#mashle#mash burnedead#bungo sd#mob psycho 100#bsd ranpo#dimple mp100#autism
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i am sadly one of those people who are super insicure of themselves after any social interaction, I go over and over again in my head and feel irrationally bad bc my brain tells me I was awkward, and probably came off as weird and so on. But you know what brain? I had the social interaction. I did it. I spoke out loud to people and had a conversation instead of freezing and feeling unable to talk. So fuck it if I came off as weird and awkward, I am weird and awkward and it's okay, because I did something that just a few years ago would have been even more of a struggle, and even earlier than that it would have been close to impossible.
#i have to keep reminding myself this thing over and over#brain we are not focusing on the way people percieve us we are focusing on the progress we have made through the years#today my brain is bullying me quite a bit over this thing bc i am stressed and i was at work all morning so i had to deal with people#but you know what? i did it and i did my job and i was much more comfortable doing things a few years ago scared me like#casually talking to people and dealing with money#and you know what? when i didn't know what to do or i wasn't sure i asked for help and it was all okay#and people coming into the shop are never rude if they see i have to ask for support to my mom or my brother bc i very casually work there#so i know basic stuff but not everything and that is fine#and if sometimes i need to use a calculator to sum up the prices of things it's okay#and if sometimes a regular knows the prices of what they have to pay already and i have to check it once or even twice it's okay#wow this turned out to be a longer rand than expected but i might need to reread this in the future#note to self#cris speaks
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(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
#I've had the cutest interaction today#So like yesterday? There was this post I saw on my dash that was like “you want to know extra info about museums? Just befriend a–#guide! That way you can also unlock the Secret Backscene” and I was like. Lmao. Who could ever befriend a museum guide I've never–#even personally met anyone who works at museums?#... Well. Guess what happened today#I was following this guided museum tour with a friend and when the tour came to an end I was happily chatting with her when the guide.#Shyly chimed in and was like “is that an Atsushi keychain?” And I was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#And I was like‚‚ omg‚‚‚ Do you happen to know‚‚‚ This one series‚‚‚‚‚‚#And they unsheathed their phone like a fbi distinctive in American movies to show me their fyo/zai background amjdsgawsjda it was SO cute.#They were adorable. And I got so embarassed but trying to keep my cool while internally I was like‚‚‚#Omg the Cool Museum Guide™ is talking with me about my hyperfixation‚‚‚‚‚‚ What is happening#We talked a bit about the manga it was such a nice and sweet exchange. They said they like Dostoyevsky and I was like yeah he's so cool!!!#They said they're sorry about Bram it was REALLY cute (´;ω;`)#I didn't want to hamper them too much so I took my leave shortly after but I'd actually really like to pay visit again–#when the new chapter is out??#Hhhhhhh I don't want to look stalkery and like go look for them on their job. But also like‚ they looked genuinely happy and as excited as–#I was when we were chatting and I believe in the power of human connections through shared hyperfixations#The possibly funnier part is that then my friend went “Wait you're into b/ungo stray dogs??” and like alright. This is less surprising.#I already knew she likes manga.#What actually left me quite baffled was that... She really didn't know I was into b/sd. When it's literally what I think about 24/7#Something very similar happened just a week ago. My friend gifted me a manga volume of a series she really likes for my birthday#But when she was giving it to me she awkwardly went “oh‚ just‚ it features romance between two guys. I hope that's okay with you...”#And I internally had to pause and realize that no.#In fact most of the people I hang out with don't know I spend half my time curating a bl focused blog.#It's just funny in a way? I got so used to concealing my hyperfixations I didn't even realize I actually got quite good at passing–#for someone who is normal about stuff.#random rambles
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Me: Oh god. It's time for our company's yearly performance review. Where my boss will judge my performance over the past year and see how awful I am at my job and--
My boss: You're doing such a great job and I'm so happy you're here <3
Me:
#SLAMS MY HEAD INTO THE TABLE I probably need therapy.#Shima speaks#LMAO#I always. ALWAYS get stressed about these and they ALWAYS turn out just fine#It's the self-esteem. The self-esteem I don't have :)#Anyway glad that I wasn't roasted and fired and I'm doing good at my job.#I'M GOOD AT MY JOB?? ME?? OKAY I'LL TAKE IT! I'LL TAKE IT#Listen this may not be my dream job but it's a good job with good people#And it pays my bills. Couldn't ask for more#Eventually I will leave to work elsewhere but I'm glad I'm doing good 😭#Realizing like. How important my job is actually. When I do leave the company I'll have to train the new hire#For at LEAST a couple weeks#Bc I'm the only one in this department that knows how to do payments! Just me!!#Anyway. Glad that stress is gone now#I can go home and watch One Piece and NOT cry over a tub of ice cream#(I'll probably do that anyway but bc of the anime Emotions and not bc of work. LMAO)
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Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired
#despite making more money w/ my commissions than ever before this year#i am still. not able to save up literally even one (1) single penny of it bc of bills#i have to make like 600 every month just to break even at like 5 dollars in my acct#please i am so fucking tired#i want to get myself things and do shit#i want to buy things for archie and jack's dog and for the house so that things are better for all of us#i want to be able to afford snacks more than once every three months like if i maybe want a bag of chips#instead of saving up for three months and going 'yeah okay 5 dollars for a normal sized bag of chips is finally worth it' ?????????????????#why the fuck are chips so expensive that is potatoes and spices and like all of it is automated hello?? what are we fucking paying for?????#ANYWAYS.#i am just fucking. Tired#due to recent events I was like#'okay how much are dog treadmills.... oh. i see. i will never be able to afford that even after three years saving. got it'#there are five hundred fundraisers on my dash (BARELY hyperbole) every single day and everybody needs help#so i COMPLETELY get people not having a ton of disposable funds this isn't me complaining about that i'm just.#i wish that i sometimes had money so that i could MAYBE save anything up or y'know. have ANYTHING to show for it#bc right now i am working full time at this job (commission/freelance artist and adopt maker etc) and making like maybe 4 dollars an hour#which is great bc when i started i was only getting about $0.11 an hour but like. that's still not. Good. For all the time i put into it#but due to circumstances and situations this is about all i'm physically and mentally able to do here and i LIKE doing commission but it's#not really. getting me anywhere and i just want to afford things finally.#i'm 27 and everything i own fits in one room and almost all of it was gifted to me for free bc i couldn't afford to get it on my own#delete later i'm just so tired man
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I live for your insidejob art, especially Robotus 😈 yesss give my tiny tank man a gun♡♡♡
And if that dont work?
Use more gun.
#please dont pay attention to the fact that i cant draw guns#also maybe to the fact that i cant color#and overall just dont look at me okay byyeeee#edit: blows a kiss to everyone who laughed at my tf2 reference#robotus alpha beta#inside job#ask olex#my art
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#my desserts#okay the hot dog and hamburgers aren't my design they're one of the standard designs we're supposed to make#and about a week ago we were having a store tour#which is essentially when a bunch of rich people from higher up in the company come walk around the store#so everyone has to work way harder to make everything perfect and jam pack the shelves with food#so that they can look at it#and they send in people who's job it is to micro manage everything in the lead up to them coming#and they always insist on coming on like a monday or tuesday so most of that stuff expires and goes in the garbage#like if they at least came on like a thursday we could be prepped for the weekend rush#it costs a lot of money too like my manager owns the store and he personally has to pay for like#getting everything professionally cleaned and the extra hours and the extra product#and this was like the 6th visit in the past year! usually you get 1 or 0 visits in a year! why do they keep coming back!!!!#and this visit they were adamant about having those hot dog and hamburger cupcakes out as 6 packs#and if you're going to do 6 packs anything less than 24 packs looks pathetic#those of you who can do multiplication know that that is 144 cupcakes#and those of you with keen eyes can see that the bun is made by cutting off the top of the cupcake. which is very tedious#those cupcakes took me THREE HOURS to do#then as soon as they went out on the floor someone placed an order for 24 6 packs this coming weekend so that took me three more hours 😑#anyway after all that the higher ups didn't even come. they had 'dinner reservations'#but yeah making 16 to sell individually isn't so bad
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next month me and my grandma are going to visit my godfather who lives in Spain, but instead of being excited (it's gonna be my second time abroad in my life) I'm anxious af, because even though I'm an adult I live with my parents and I need to tell my father about it. normal parents would - y'know - be happy that their children have opportunity to visit another country, but instead he's gonna be insufferable about it, because it's my mom's side of family and he despises my uncle. but what is he gonna do? kick me out of the house even though he promised that as long as I'm studying or working I don't need to worry about such thing, humiliate me as usual, tell me that I'm childish and spoiled or make my mom's life a living hell again? I'm aware of the fact that the longer I'm putting it off the worse his reaction is gonna be, but I'm just not mentally able to tell him that, because I don't know how he will react. I don't need any money from him, I don't have to use my phone during this trip (I dunno how the roaming and stuff work), I just want to be sure he's gonna behave like a proper human being towards my mom and my siblings when I won't be at home and not act like a total asshole while talking with me about it.
#i know that at my age i should be more mature and handle such situations better but as long as he's the way he is it's impossible#why can't both my parents be normal#and the fact that i wasn't able to get any summer job this year isn't making it any better because i know it's gonna be one of his argument#(czaicie to że nawet do żabki mnie nie chcieli. dosłownie emotional i brain damage)#'you didn't work so from where do you get the money for that'#don't worry definitely not from you because you can't even pay for my monthly train ticket to college#and at the same time have the audacity to call me dumb for commuting there instead of living in that city#while knowing that neither me nor mom can afford renting anything without your help#(okay i'm a bit exaggerating in my mom's case but she earns much less than him and he still makes problems with literally anything#even buying food even though he's in a very good financial situation and there are times when my mom has to make everything work all alone#because he's getting mad at her out of nowhere and only pays the bills that fortunately aren't that bad in our case)#(and unfortunately the bills include my telephone subscribtion because all of our numbers are in some kind of special offer where you pay#much less for one number when they're registered for one person so it's another problem in this situation because when i offered paying for#mine he refused and probably it'll be his another argument for becoming mad that i dare to spend time with the part of family that cares#about me unlike majority of his relatives)#i hope that at least when academic year starts i'll be able to get any part-time job on the weekends so i can save up more money#although i'm not sure if i'm gonna move out in the nearest future. i mean he's fucking insufferable and toxic but i just can't leave my mom#and especially siblings there even though i can't even fucking protect them from literally anything. at this point i'm just powerless.#there are times when he tries to change for the better but then he starts creating problems on purpose and everything is coming full circle#and the sole thought that my little siblings would tell me that i just ran away from this problem is fucking killing me.#niedziela wieczór i humor niegituwa. zawsze kurwa kurwa coś.#chuj idę słuchać myslovitz#pau.txt
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sometimes ya just gotta scribble your favorite character giving you words of encouragement. even if that favorite is a guy from your own brain
#shoutout to my Specialest Boy he always has my back#hes not a real person but he's got me!!! he always does!#he's been Getting Me Through It since eighth fucking grade!#whether its nice words or a mental slap and a Do It Scared#setting him as my home screen for extra Courage on this scary day#(have to apply for a job in person somewhere ive never been)#if i feel too nervous i can open my phone and look at his smiling face!#there is a gay ace gender-nonconforming man on my phone and he's 50% of my emotional support#IF HE DID ALL OF THOSE TERRIBLE THINGS SCARED THEN! THEN I CAN APPLY FOR A JOB!#said through gritted teeth and with panicked breathing#i really gotta work on that Do It For Him board...#absolutely unprompted#if i get this done he'd be proud of me and that's all i need#gazing at him lovingly. someday ill pay him back#i have years to puzzle out how i want to put him out into the world#since i highly doubt ill ever manage to get into tv business and make my own animated show#childish dreams! but they soothe me at night#man i just want him to be loved... OKAY IM GETTING EMOTIONAL time to cut myself off tags over
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Just a reminder, I have a patreon!!!
I've been working on actually making stuff to post more often for the lower tiers, and have been consistently doing so!
I post at least a few sketches and drawings every month for the $1 and up patrons
and I've been working on episodes and sharing some updates with my $5 and up patrons
And I have a merch club for $15 a month, but there's still some $10 slots left! I design and send usually a postcard and some stickers to my patrons every month, but sometimes I'll do some experimental stuff; last month I did foil prints, for instance, and a few months before I made magnets!
It also gets you access to private channels in my discord server, where I ask for patron input on things like the merch or drawings, and where I sometimes stream while working :)
Buuuut also, even if you don't want any of this stuff, it's a great way to support me directly if you like my work! I'm still on hiatus so I'm not making any money from work at the moment, but I'm working hard and my patreon enables me at least to buy my groceries!
Here's the link one more time, no pressure of course but I need to promote my patreon more so people actually know it exists haha
#I never promote my patreon#which is probably why I only have like 30 patrons (grimacing emoji)#it's a little embarassing tbh hahahahahahahha when my coworkers are talking about making thousands a month on patreon#and I'm like DONT LOOK AT MINE PLEASE#it's okay obviously#I never like. talk about it#cause the fun for me is making the stuff#so I'm like I made the stuff yay I'm doing it I'm doing a good job :D!#but then uh#no one knows I'm doing that#like I'm making art and posting it and I'm making merch and selling it#like did you know I also have a store?#no one knows I have a store either#I'm out here selling books and making custom prints and then I just forget to tell people#I also have open commissions..#god I'm so bad at marketing myself#but I have to get better at it#or else I'm straight up not gonna be able to keep doing this...#my goal is to be making 1k a month on patreon before time and time again is over...#cause then I'll be able to like. at least mostly support myself on my comics moving forward......#I need uhm. 2k a month minimum... to barely scrape by living...#the ideal is 3k and up lol cause of like. taxes and stuff..?#but#2k is. minimum...#gah#I'm making 10% what I have to right now HAHAHAHAH#so I guess I'm giving myself a year to actually promote myself better to see if I can't get it up to a livable amount#so that I can keep making comics#without needing webtoon#cause they only pay me like 3k a month
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unnerving to see people younger than me living their lives and doing adult stuff successfully. stop that you're supposed to eat ice cream for dinner and be unemployed
#stop making me look bad by having a husband and a baby rn you're 22 fr 😭#tho i do have two friends who got married at 18 and 21 and actually i look good compared to them bc everyone they know was like stoppppp#they dated for ike 4 months before getting engaged lmao#but some people who got married young are actually doing okay and normal and that makes me look bad lol#not necessarily always abt marriage tho#people younger than me with an actual career or grown up job make me feel this way also#anyway#every day im living a life indistinguishable from when i was a teenager and many people my age are already parents with mortgages and such#😐😐😐#anyway i spent my grown up job money on some flowers and now i have no job bc i let my mean supervisor bully me into quitting#i also spent grown up job money on an oven (successfully) and a car (unsuccessfully)#i am rlly just out here.... telletubby with a credit card fr#job just give you money and you can spend it on whatever you want (but watch out)#anyway car was a piece of garbage that couldn't pass inspection 😔#was so proud of myself paying cash for my first car but there's a reason it was that cheap lmao
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Prof got us some tea and coffee :3
#was surpised that the prof who does nothing but mourn not being in england bringing in the sweetest fucking tea ive had in my life#tastes so good though#we're building resumes and i uh... dont have much?#the art dept doesnt usually annouce exhibition deadlines until a week or so before they're due so i haven't had a chance to join one#and I've been working an actual job to pay for college so no internship either#feeling fear but i also know its not the end of the world and i still have time to do all that lol#don't need a robust resume straight out graduating#...would be nice though#update; okay talked to my professor and mentioned my minor#so now he is going to help me and a few other students put together a historical japanese art and literature exhibit#and since it isn't technically classwork we can say ''assisted in the curation/arrangement of historical japanese works for an exhibition''#which sounds pretty nice i'd say#yay
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reddit is easy pickings I know I know I know but I was genuinely shocked to see how easy it was to immediately find something that made me uncomfortable/slightly more peeved at the state of it all
the post--a fair and common sentiment for lesbians to experience. men are dumbasses and say shit like this all the time. frustrating for sure:
so, if you were someone who has any sense of respect or basic decency on respecting lesbians (+women in general tbh) when they speak, and you were perhaps a trans woman who might not really understand the truly frustrating experience of your sexuality being belittled and disrespected like this, wouldn't you simply let this one post go and not leave a comment as it is not something you have meaningfully experienced and thus don't need to add commentary?
well:
anyway good reminder that I should frankly never use reddit ever again sigh
bonus good comment that is weirdly more applicable than maybe the user intended:
anyway that's all from me thanks for indulging my public pettiness once more o7
#apologies for the low effort posting lately school + work is kicking my ass#mostly work my major is easy lmao that's what art school gets you#work is very silly I spent 72 almost consecutive hours doing the job of my superior who sort of ghosted the entire team#which meant extended time with the editor-in-chief (my boss) (polyamorous transfemme) and wow amabs are truly not very emotionally sensitiv#I am getting their out of pocket overtime pay though so uhhh I suppose it's a win in some regards#anyway enough about me (I say on the blog I made to talk about me)#trying to decide how much I can publicly let myself vent about my life without being too revealing lmao#let's just say I work with people I can generously describe as self-identified queer people on twitter who are too into yaoi and fandom#it's a great place to be super lonely and essentially crypto gender critical lol haha I think I need real friends#...okay I do have friends but there's a whole load of strange bullshit happening there#possibly involving what is basically a het love triangle that I just get to witness for the next three years I guess???#dropping foreshadowed breadcrumbs for possible future blogposts in the tags for a pretty standard gc post lol sorry if I trojan horsed you#radical feminism#gender critical#myo is rambling.#gender ideology
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