#a humorous little shitpost but i

[voidbeau]

"Vegan" Argos who sources all of his meat from happily willing humans and even other void residents so his meat is cruelty free.

"Vegan" Argos who also makes use of the meat plants via similar methods as above and says all his meat is plant based.

The implied cannibalism and overall consumption of sentient beings in general is already dodgy enough, but let's assume "vegan" Argos is also not above coercion when finding "willing" donors.

Vegan Argos who is very much a butcher with a taste for flesh.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

None of this means anything.

I'm sleepy.

[outsideyourhousewithaknife]

(takes a deep breath)

she rocky on my horror till I picture on her show till she science on my fiction till I double on her feature till she rocky on my horror till I picture on her show till she science on my fiction till I double on her feature till she rocky on my horror till I picture on her show till she science on my fiction till I double on her feature till sherockyonmyhorror till I pictureonhershowtillshe

(passes out and dreams of Timothy Curry)

[flumpermergen]

‼️‼️‼️Azul’s live breakdown canon (gone wrong, police called)‼️‼️‼️

[strawberrus0da]

Fits doesn't it

[thearunadragon]

One of the things I love about Eragon and Saphira is that they’re literally more one person than two, which means they basically feel everything the other one does. Which is so funny when you think about it because, like, what if one of them just got a really bad case of the flu?? Are they just incapacitated as a team?? A dragon getting, like, the stomach flu, would be a nightmare though, so let’s hope they put the whole “cut off our minds from each other temporarily” thing to good use.

[taxonomicons]

trying to be a slay lit hot mob wife girlie pop up in this hizzle guzzling my new water recipe from the strawussy of my Stanley yo

[ponylandarmoire]

Heart Throb rizzing up a Flustered Bow Tie.

[yourlocalmissingtexture]

[yoursghouly]

Source: SatanGuy_2020

[cosmicstarlatte]

[atbussysparks]

They thought the other died in battle. Medic wishes in this moment they both did.

They are no longer allowed together in medic's recovery room.

[outsideyourhousewithaknife]

Love it when I innocently go to get water in the middle of the night and I glance in the window above the sink and there are FUCKING EYES there watching me and I have to not scream so as to not wake up everyone within an eleven-mile radius because it's just the little old cat that convinces me nightly to let him into my bed like nonsexually motivated Zeus and then I get to haul the furry little bustard (affectionate) inside and start up the purr machine

[solena2]

Johnson:

Flying spaghetti monster: Son, is that a johnson?

Me: You fool. You moron. Johnson has been dead for 40 YEARS

Flying spaghetti monster: No, I asked if that’s a john, son. I need to fucking piss, son

Me: No, that’s the Rock

[currently-becoming-potatoes]

Me, forcing my emotions back inside so I don’t cry and ruin the eyeliner I spent an hour perfecting this morning:

[one-in-a-million-fishsticks-blog]

Donald Twerk.

(The eagle didn't want to see that).

[guinevereslancelot]

clocking in for my shift at the touching grass factory 🫡