#a great distraction from this pain
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y'all wanna see a fun little parallel between the show and part 2? yes? good.
we all know joel's panic attack from the start of episode 6, and it also shows us that he tends to press his hand against his chest, probably rubbing small circles to encourage his lungs to open up so he can breathe.
well.
ellie does the exact same thing in part 2. several times, actually. every single time she has a panic attack, her hand goes to her chest and she does the same motion joel does in the show.
a little side by side just to really emphasize the pain because boy i sure as hell feel it.
#alex talks tlou#tlou#the last of us#joel and ellie#joel miller#ellie williams#tlou game#tlou parallels#tlou part 2#im trying to distract myself from my own pain so hard i end up with tlou pain again#doing great friends#i could write a whole 40 page essay on the parallels between part 2 and season 1 alone let alone the first game
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You know, I find it incredibly funny that most villains get a backstory to show how tragic and sad and sympathetic they are. But the writers looked at Qiao Jin and went, "Oh, we can use his backstory to make him WORSE." In exchange, the Li twins got the brunt of the tragedy and man are they really going through it
#im trying to focus on the funny bits to distract from the pain#i KNEW the spoilers and i KNEW what was coming and it hurts#do the writers not want their audience to be happy?????#also i know some people thought the second season was oddly paced or not as good#and i think its just different from the more slice of life of s1#and personally as an admitted shonen lover the fast pacedness of this season is great for me too#honestly i think ep 9 was my favourite with its three act structure (think i saw someone say it was chinese theatre tropes?)#it worked SO WELL because maybe its the revue starlight brainrot but theres SO much theatre imagery in the 2nd season#not to mention ep 9 perfectly summed up the donghua as a whole which is to say#past backstory + present consequences + fun folk/fairy tale#which is basically a story of what link click is all about i think#link click#note's notes#fandom spamdom#anyway im in so much pain and i know whats coming for ep 12 guys wish me luck....
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alex doomposting and stacey positiveposting right after each other on the dash got me laughing
#alex going ‘positivity merchants will be saying great game proud of the girls nah fuck this team coys’#and then stacey literally going ‘proud of the girls’ DJSKEODJKAKEF this is box office#i’m making jokes to distract from the Pain.
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#havent really been active on tumblr the last few days but now i came back to post another vent and fuck off again lol hiiiiii#i havent cried in way too long. ngl sobbing hysterically in your bed does hit different lol#anyway. what a great time to remind myself of every single bad thing anyone has ever said about my body and my face <3#anyway i finished the sobbing till i cant breathe session and now my one eye hurts like there's sth stuck in it but there's nothing#but while i was digging in it trying to find sth under my eyelid that could explain the pain i really really looked at it#my friend once said my eyes are the colour of a swamp and by god she was right.#and like damn. i was never insecure about my eyes but maybe i should add that to the list.#but like whatever. like obv im not gonna start being actually insecure about mu stupid eyes but it did hit me that there is really#not a single thing about my body that i can with all confidence say is nice/pretty/whatever. not a single thing that i genuinely like.#like at best case it's 'not as bad as it could be'. like i have nothing lol. cant even honestly say something as silly as 'i like my eyes'#cause no. they look like a swamp.#idk im just so tired of trying my best all the time and still looking like a rotting leaking bag of garbage.#i try to remind myself that i dress funny and do fun make up and that is what people will notice about me but the truth is#everyone will still always see that under all that bs im just plain ugly and just generally unattractive#and ill never be able to distract anyone from that not really#like ik people who like me dont care about that but thats the thing.#im just tired of being one of the people that will always be liked/loved/whatever 'despite' sth.#like there is nothing of value in me that is NATURAL. its all fucking fake.#anyway. wish i were dead same old same old.
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Im sooo happy im on physical therapy again
Toned legs and less pain here i come!
#a while ago i did a year of pt everyday and i looked goooood#its also helping me push past my usual limits and cope with pain#using my muscles distracts from the raging fire in my bones#an i miss working out soooo much#fun fact before being bedridden and house bound i was really athletic!#not so fun fact i completed a triathlon at 18 and it was a really great moment for me but it was too much for my body.#couple weeks after i got tendinitis in my right knee which started my crps#so id say that triathlon caused my crps#no regrets though! i loved doing it and i atill love my life now#and not to romanticize chronic pain#but it really taught me some valuable things because i was forced to look inward#when you literally cannot move you only have one thing to do#think#think for months on end#and when that happens a lotta shit is revealed#when you're abled bodied you have the privilege of distraction#beddridden people don't have that privilege#thus you live in the mind trying to take refuge from the body#and now i know deep truths about myself#anyways yay pt!
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i need to keep pausing after each song to just. process what ive just seen
#ive gotta say this is a great distraction from the pain#i didnt even realise my backs also started hurting until i paused it#ez.txt
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update on that last post, my cat passed away today so i don’t. really know what to do. maybe this blog will go on hiatus, maybe i’ll just post stupid shit to help with the grieving. it’s not a must but kind words would be really nice
#𝟶𝟶𝟶. 𝙳𝚄𝙼����𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚁 ,𝙳𝚄𝙼𝙱𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝙽𝙾𝚅𝙴𝙻. — ( out. )#tbd.#animal death /#sylvester my baby. i have no idea what to do#ive never lost a pet before i#am in so much pain i dont want to say goodbye#im sorry this is so grim#but i dont know what else to do except. post about it i dont know what to even#who to even message idont i just dont#yeah i dont know chances are#for roleplay purposes you will find me on my new blog.#if i ever get around to setting it up#i cant even rule out writing because#ill need a distraction from this#but yeah i dont even know#anything would be really. appreciated this literally came out of left fucking field#everything was ok everything was. not great but it was good.#negative /#i dont even know. will ibe writing? i dont know im#everything is happening and it's awful
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yk i think like. im trying desperately not to depress people around me w how close to doomerism i can veer but like. at a certain point its like. the effort and exhaustion that goes into maintaining just being alive in this world is not worth what comes from being alive and like. girlies we may have reached it. el oh el.
#like obvs its different for everyone like. what i really mean is that i have reached it or like. tht was always inevitably the case#for my life. which ik feels really depressing to say nd im sorry tht it makes ppl sad but idk like. its just true at a certain point#absolutely not from a lack of trying from the good things within my life to be clear not at all like. ik have sm great parts to my life#tht like. just mean so so much to me and im so so lucky to have but as upsetting as it is to say and think abt#at a certain point having to choose between being trapped in a situation were you can never authentically exist or like#have any control over your life and exist on your own terms even in v small ways while having to constantly be around people whove#caused you so much pain and trauma and hurt and being is a situation were like. at best your constantly working to afford living and you#are constantly exhausted by this and have no time for being yourself anyway and at worst you just cant afford anything and you die#and that could happen to you at any point idk like. these are my two options and i cant change anything about that fact#no matter how much i want to and that feeling is just. so so crushing and inescapable and just idk i dont know how to deal with it#like. idk iv done everything to try to but its only ever a temporary distraction#bc the problem isnt fucking like. mental or emotional its the facts of my reality and that cant be changed#so ofc im going to be constantly fucking miserable things just. are misearble#and idk. im sorry tht thts something other ppl have to deal with when it comes to like. knowing me bc genuinly its like.#they dont deserve that its sm pain for somoene to deal with and if that someone isnt. somone whos come to term with what#my fate invetiably is like have ik its too much nd im sorry for like. putting that on ppl i just. idk im sorry#idk what up with me suddnely. i mean i do but like. idk why i cant just hold it together like. this has always been the case idk why#im letting it upset me sm suddenly . ig bc i let myself have hope at some point. like an idiot.#idk im sorry. and its nearly 1am so i think im just going to go to sleep.im so sorry for just. all of this.#lucy if your reading tihs im so sorry for not sending and answering asks but i want to say that i love you so so so much. and im sorry#flappy rambles#vent#ask to tag
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oh my god it's 9 am
#🌙.rambles#i'm not rlly sleepy.. n i'm busy 😭😭 so much to do fr#i'm being productive at least but i think i'm. i'm using this productivity too as a distraction#from my loneliness. from my thoughts n my burdens n regrets. my regrets.. they're so burdening fr oh my god#my regrets.. they're so burdening fr oh my god#i try to take my mind off being too. meticulous ig or really just placing too much importance on my school performance#generally i've always been doing well.#i had high honors after all back in gr8 n i think it was just the subjects in filipino that pulled my grades down in middle school#i am.. not the best w filipino but my grammar is good. i'm good w systems n idk generally just acads#but my proficiency in the language itself makes me perform worse :/#other than that i do great w everything else#back when we had exams (my school took them away now ever since the pandemic) i would always do well#always one of the top of my class. never quite the best ig but perhaps second.#if i was.. born in another country in the first place i think i'd be even better than i am right now#without filipino fuck that i have nothing but hatred for it#it's useless to me. all my life everything's just proved it's worthlessness#i don't want to stay in this country at all. i hate it here.#i've tried to love my country before but.. it's so lonely here. so much of it has given me pain#n though there r things dear to me like my friends n family here n wtvr#i wouldn't trade that at all. those r rlly just the things i hold on to#it's so. infuriating thinking of if i had education from a more developed country.. i'm naturally intelligent.#it's in my genes fr n i've always worked hard. my curiosity is insatiable and has brought me far#this country is a hindrance to me and my hatred for it is honestly just unfathomable.#loneliness; most of my life i grew up not having friends sharing my interests. now it's better though at least. i'm v grateful for that#but the environment as a whole is so. different i guess. imagining na n europe n australia.. their cons n all have stuff i'm actually#interested in. yk it feels like a miracle just seeing something other than genshin in this country. it's too simple n boring here. it hurts#careers i want to pursue are far from ideal here. they're too difficult. career choices r v limited n i don't think education is enough#there's rlly just so much hinderances in my life here. not to mention the humiliation i faced by my peers w. my accent when speaking filo..#i've always been good at grammar but. w the influence of my interests i do have a bit of an accent.#no one ever intentionally meant to hurt me but.. i can't deny it yk? even if it was just for fun.. being laughed at really hurt.
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the overstory is GOOD believe me. but it somehow makes time go by so fucking slowly at work i cant listen to it there. but i stillll have 13 hrs to finish in 11 days. & im playing pentiment rn which isnt a game i can listen to books during.
#i dont think i can go faster than 2x speed and still follow it but its still so slow paced. the parts that hit hard are GREAT but. i need#books to be a certain amnt of engaging to distract from my pain#🐇📚
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and when i am lying on the bathroom floor waiting for the painkillers to kick in. the wayneradiotv elden ring streams are there for me.
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you and satoru decide pretty quickly that you want your daughter’s ears pierced.
she’s a gorgeous baby; bright blue eyes and soft white hair just like her father. her nose and lips are your genetic touch, and satoru insists that it’s your features that make her look so adorable.
you’d asked your husband what he thought about getting her ears pierced so young, and obviously he thought it was a great idea - his two favourite girls should match earrings.
and so, once she’s old enough, the two of you bring her to a store to get her ears done.
satoru has her sat on his lap, entertaining her as you spoke with the piercer about the placing and colour of the earrings. he talks to her like he can understand her baby babble; no one understands his daughter better than he does.
eventually, the time comes, and the piercer lines up the piercing gun with your daughter’s ear after marking the spot with temporary ink. she’s giggling gleefully, trying to grab hold of the piercer’s hair.
satou’s anxiety is on high, he doesn’t want his daughter to flinch and cause an injury that no one wants. the peircer seems nice enough though, and her friendly smile coupled with your hand on his shoulder and his baby’s laughter settles his nerves marginally.
but he speaks too soon.
the minute the metal pierces her skin, your daughter instantly breaks into tears, twisting her small body toward her daddy as she lets out dramatic screeches of pain. satoru’s heart sinks immediately, large hands gently trying to soothe his daughter - her tiny ones fist his shirt like a lifeline.
she cries and cries like she’s dying, and satoru feels his soul bleed.
“daddy’s sorry, baby,” he mumbles, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “it’ll go away soon. i wish i could help you, sweets.”
but she’s having none of it, crying harder when he tries to put her back into position. he feels his own eyes sting; his heart aches from being unable to take away his precious daughter’s pain.
his eyes snap up to your face, hoping you’ll have some insight on how to help her. you’re smiling fondly, softly pinching her cheeks in effort to distract her from the pain.
“don’t be dramatic,” you scold sweetly, dropping into a crouch to press sloppy kisses to her chubby cheeks.
she hiccups, letting her father’s shirt go in favour of trying to grab your nose instead. her cries turn into wet giggles within a few seconds and satoru feels relief fill his veins.
you look up at him with a raised eyebrow, “i mean you, mister.”
it takes him a full second to realize that there are tears rolling down his face, and he quickly wipes his eyes in embarrassment. he hears the piercer giggle; may the ground open up and swallow him whole.
“you’re such a baby,” you say, but your heart felt so full - your husband just cried at his daughter getting her ears pierced? you were never going to let him live that down.
satoru doesn’t say anything, obediently allowing you to tilt his head back to meet you in a kiss. through the salty taste of his tears and your fingers holding his throat he doesn’t even notice when the piercer approaches again, quietly lining up with the other dot.
she looks to you for consent, and you give a subtle nod as you continue to distract your husband with kisses. he breaks it in surprise when he feels your daughter flinch, though this time there’s no wails.
he looks down. her face is scrunched up in effort not to cry, cheeks puffed up as she looks up at her father proudly as if to say: look, daddy, i didn’t cry that time!
he feels his eyes fill up again. his head drops to rest on his daughter, kissing her all over her face and eliciting a series of giggles.
“that’s my girl,” he boasts proudly, grinning wide while bouncing her on his knee, “i knew you could do it!”
he hears you laugh from the counter, “you cried the most, satoru.”
he scoffs, picking the baby up and nuzzling his face against hers, “i don’t know how you didn’t! her cries broke my heart!”
#ᯓᡣ𐭩 kiyara.#jujutsu kaisen#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#jjk smau#satoru gojo x y/n#jjk x reader#jjk scenarios#jjk fluff#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk gojo#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#gojo fluff
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#wisdonm teeth ruining everythinggggg#all of my paycheck GONE just like that#my god#and now there are no Distractions#to keep myself away from the pain and the memories#and no cute french guy either.#this is literally a nightmare#AND the haircut lowkey still isn't great#AGHHHHHHHHHH
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riding toji ; what a pain ! 。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。
finger in butt :o , riding , faux dubcon , anal mention
ever since he asked you to get on top, he was whipped. he doesn’t think there’s anything better than this, pretty tits bouncing up in his face, your twitching cunny fervently around his cock, and your desperate grapples at his arm for help. oh, this is perfect; this is what life is all about.
he especially loves when you give up, your soft body plaint against his bulky, hot one as you hide your flushed face in the cove of his shoulder. you feel his hard stomach under yours, abs and pecs pressing into your skin.
he can’t help but scale his fingers down your figure in your moment of rest, admiring each and every cell that forms your gorgeous shape, gentle fingers pinching the skin of your waist.
he sets his eyes on the mound of your butt, his trailing finger slowly crawling against a forbidden region; your butthole.
you’re dazed and fucked out of your mind, yearning for nothing more but to fall asleep with a click, but the heavy cock that lays within your gummy walls prevents you from doing so. while you’re distracted, you feel a singular ragged finger drag its way along the crevice of your mound, pressing against the puckered, virgin hole above your tainted cunny;
“n—no ! not there toji…” you whine, shaking your head against his shoulder. it’s hard for you to scramble away despite your tried efforts, his lodged cock keeping you still.
you know he would take you however he desired to, despite your little begs of no. nothing you say matters when you’re laying against him without a single ounce of strength remaining in your body, solely waiting for the man to get impatient and end up fucking you to sleep.
his thick finger relentlessly presses into the resisting hole, making you cry out. your nails dig into the sweat-gleaming muscle of the man, causing him to let out a light hiss.
“damn tight, little girl .” he chuckles, bucking his hips up into your cunt, readjusting your position on top. you squeal, pounding your fist against his chest with a complaining mewl. he’s so abrupt. he continues your efforts, a hand laid against your back to keep you pliant against him as he rocks his hips gently against your warmth. a thick finger prodding itself in and out of your butthole, and it’s all too much.
“noooo—“ you cry, humping your ass back into his palm. “hnnn… h—hurts back there.” he laughs at the irony of it all; he knows you’re feeling good, what can he say ? he knows how to make you feel great. he knows it’s all a ploy in able to get him to praise you, praise you for being such a good girl, for taking everything he’s giving you, and it works.
“shh, my sweet girl. takin’ m’finger so well. good, good girl .”
you let out a wanton moan, a mixture of pain and pleasure, just as the chubby tip of his cock pressed against your cervix. his finger pumps a tad faster, a tad deeper and it fills you so wrongfully well.
“y’gonna take my cock in here next time, hm? that’s what the best girls do.”
#jjk#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#fushiguro toji x reader#toji <3#toji smut#jujutsu toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji x reader smut#drabbles ⋆⑅˚₊
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Oooooh, that'd be so fun! But also, this little scene popped up in my head as soon as I read, "Jazz as Oracle":
Just as Tim was about to leave the Cave after delivering the latest samples from a Rogue attack, the Bat computer's screen lit up with a picture of Oracle on it.
She... Looked so much like Jazz it hurt. Well. A very, very overworked and underpaid Jazz. Which, was exactly what one Barbara Gordon WAS. To be honest, most superheroes were. At least in this life he got a great paycheck and an actual future to go with all the shitty trauma. Hurray for trust fund babies, I guess. Even when dropping out of highschool, you can get an amazing job.
"..im?! TIM!?!"
..Ah. He spaced out while staring at her. Awkward.
"Hey Babs. Sorry about that. What do you need?"
"Are you okay, Tim?? I called you like 10 times..."
"Yeah, just a bit tired. I'm going to sleep for like a week after this case," he jokes. Like they ever had time for that much sleep, but he's incredibly tempted to go on a damn vacation from his day job just to get over himself enough to get work done as efficiently as possible again. These memories were incredibly inconvenient, especially when it involved regaining past powers when one worked on a team of POWERLESS individuals. Yeah... Life hates him.
"Living the dream right there," she jokes right back, but he can tell through her eyes that she's still worried about him. "Anyway, I'm just doing another info drop on the case, and just wanted to check in on you, what with that fight with Scarecrow a week ago... You know you can rely on the girls and I to cover for your patrol or talk to any of us about what happened if you want, right? You aren't alone, Tim. We're here for you if you need us."
Sigh. Of course. Ever since that night and after recovering enough to function, then basically telling them to fuck off in more polite words (and then later in less polite words when they kept bothering him), they've all been hounding him with all of this feel good shit they don't even actually believe in when it comes to him. He was so over it it's not even funny. He couldn't repress his bitter chuckle.
"Are you kidding me? I'm definitely not useful enough to you to ask for that sort of thing. See ya, O. I got shit to do."
And with that, he turned around, marched to his bike, and revved out of the Cave like the hounds of hell were after him. He didn't notice nor care to notice the absolutely stunned face of one Barbara Gordon as she watched him leave.
This... Definitely complicated things. Bruce was going to have a conniption. Dick... Oh, DICK... Barbara was already getting a headache over the wailing he'll no doubt be doing once he finds out what Tim thinks of them all. If she could get them all to stay alone in a room with a therapist, she'd literally beg Harley to help them with as much of their issues as possible. But it was like trying to herd CATS with these idiots. Tim especially. He was the wiliest cat of all of them. Sigh. Well there goes her already booked evening. She's so glad her couch is the comfiest cloud to rest on. She's gonna need it after this shit show of a debrief. (But if it could somehow help Tim, then she would consider it worth it.)
Screaming into the night
Danny is reborn as tim.
Tim gets his memories back near the beginning of his robin run when he still has a rocky relationship with Bruce. He’s scared and keeps his mouth shut. This goes on for years never getting the right time to be revealed.
It isn't until the scarecrow uses a new fear gas that it comes up. Tim is hit and has to relive the portal incident. He is screaming with no brakes and does not respond to anyone.
The bat family has idea what he is seeing but they do find out from scarecrows taunting that the gas makes you relive your most painful memories. The entire family is wondering when this happened and when Tim wakes up he is not going to be very forthcoming.
#i love this#dpxdc#dcxdp#this is great#so cool#so interesting#Danny is Tim Drake AU#Danny reincarnated into Tim#he hates it thanks#Somebody shove his extra life back into whatever container was holding it before please#literally begging rn; he's missing his past family (Jazz#Sam & Tucker)#Like an amputee would be missing their arms#Are they even ghosts now or did they move on like he did?#Did they reincarnate like he did or did they go to heaven or something? He didn't know and he hates it#Nothing feels right anymore not even his body#He's pretty sure his spleen came back-- though not without a pretty painful fuck you greeting as it arrived#Because of course even his healing can't be easy for him-- hopefully that will change back to it's previous ease once his body gets used to#the strain of so much power again#Tim would like to take a vacation from life and people for at LEAST a year please#Can he retire now?? He doesn't even LIKE being a business man! BRUCE YOU LAZY ASS; TAKE YOUR DAMN JOB BACK!!#At least he can visit space whenever now-- HOLY CRAP THIS UNIVERSE HAS ALIENS!! I ALMOST DATED AN ALIEN!! CONNER COME BACK!#LEMME CLIMB YOUR HOT ALIEN ASS LIKE A TREE! DISTRACT ME FROM BOTH MY HOERIBLE LIVES PLEASE!#Haha; “HOErible” that was a genuine typo but a funny one (I'm too lazy to fix it lmao mobile hates writing long shit)
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Pro tip, the warning to not try and break up two dogs who are fighting? It's a good tip.
Signed, my broken fingers and the stitches holding the inside of my arm inside my arm.
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