#a childhood dream that I can never have

[kuro-ousama]

Kinda funny how the fact that I don't have a lot of favorites boiled down to the fact that I was crushed by Atem's story and vowed to not get attached to other characters.

In other words, this little fictional character broke my heart so hard that I can't move on. That's how much he made an impact to my fandom life even 2 decades later.

[phoenixcatch7]

Loz fandom stop being angsty and give the daydreaming kids on big fun adventures with a cool glowing sword some actual whimsy and joy challenge

[bludpudding]

as much as I love the idea of baby corinthian with 3 pacifiers I regret to inform you that he popped out the morpheussy as a 30 something year old man. he had no childhood. he came out paying taxes.

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Jingliu

[infinitelystrangemachinex]

Mel for the unhinged character bingo!

yessss YEEEESSSSSSSSS

[quietwingsinthesky]

Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.

Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?

And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.

What do you think about it?

no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.

because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)

and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?

river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)

they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.

mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.

they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.

all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.

mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'

god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.

[nazumichi]

I had a dream last night that there were like. new bna episodes, and I think that’s my way of handling the Other Stuff

[winterlilyarts]

Some Sora practices!! I am so happy with these, its the first time I've ever drawn him

[imflyingfish]

I want to play minecraft <- instead has played 5 hours of the sims 4 and has something important to do tomorrow

[astrarche-x]

Dyeing the tips of my hair purple so they match my icon

[orcelito]

I'm tired of dreaming about my dad. I know it's part of processing, but I am just so tired.

[cuntstable]

btw i do think its extremely annoying how dissosiation is like used to just describe spacing out by the same people who go Im So OCD xD when like they say they clean their house on the reg or whatever. can you people explode

[bipherpol]

Nice songs! I like the way you think! I wish Kaku can rejoin Galley-La in the future, provided he apologizes, and Galley-La forgives him, of course. Who realizes that Franky and Lucci are going to be in-laws first? I just realized that I sent the Alice in Chains songs twice, so you get six songs this time! "Pictures of You" by The Cure, "One Thing" by Finger Eleven, "Skinny Love" by Bon Iver, "Whirring" by The Joy Formidable, "Tongue Tied" by Grouplove, and "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men.

oh kaku is absolutely joining galley-la. they try to make him stay after enies lobby and he's like "no let's go be proper government traitors and give everything we know to the revs and then i'll consider it" this argument ends with the other six deciding that they'll do that and then promptly dump kaku on the next ship to water 7 regardless of whether or not he agrees. if necessary, they are not above tying him up to get him there. if that doesn't work, they could always ask kuma.

(kaku absolutely wants to go back but he also, y'know, doesn't want to just ditch the rest of them. meanwhile, the rest of them are like "oh my god please just ditch us and go. live ur childhood dream. pls. at least one of us gets to.")

honestly, the first one to realize the in-laws is probably one of cp9. or nami. actually no wait it's probably nami. she catches onto the whole franky/robin thing quick and then just kind of has a moment where she just mentally points between them and starts laughing her ass off because oh god. it's funny on so many levels, at least partially because the former government assassin is going to be in-laws with the head of water seven's big gang.

songs!! a: i love "pictures of you" it's so good. (the emo kid loves the cure, who's surprised) also oh god "tongue tied" i haven't heard that song since glee. (it is a good song though)

"toxic" by britney spears (who saw that one coming), "don't hold your breath" by nicole scherzinger aaand "unkind" by sloan

[monogatcri]

if niwa meets a scholar during a period where he's not feeling the absolute pressure of answering a million and one questions about his past, his instant reaction is elation. Despite the fact he's been dedicated to his craft and taking care of his village, there was a point where he dreamed of becoming a scholar and exploring the vast reaches of the world to see about discovering improvements he could pass on to his people. it was a fleeting dream since his time became constricted and his hands far too busy.

[non-un-topo]

If I keep having nightmares I’m gonna have to start writing another horror thing, right? Like I can’t let these plots go to waste

[originalcontent]

Night in the Woods and Pathologic 2 are literally the same game, beyond a few superficial contrasts in presentation there isn’t a single difference.