#a bad thing made less annoying is still bad

[faghubby]

Sorry, I will be a good boi

"Paul, you ruined my skirt!" Lisa yelled as she walked in my room.

"What? All I did was wash it for you" I shot back annoyed she was angry.

"That's it I am so fucking done with you" she swore. I realized I had fucked up. I couldn't let her break up with me. Not only did I love her she paid for everything. I was trying to get my business off the ground for the past 6 months. But I had not made a dime.

"Lisa wait, baby I am sorry. I fucked up" I said pulling her into my arms.

"You always fuck up. Never learn" she shot back pushing me away.

"I know my mom always said the same thing" I told her.

"Yeah, how did she get you to learn?" She asked.

"A big belt" I laughed. Lisa's eyes widened. She grabbed my waist and took off my belt.

"Drop your pants" she told me.

"Babe, I was joking" I laughed.

"I'm not, drop them or get your shit and get out" she yelled. She was serious. I had no place to go. I hesitated but she was impatient. I dropped my pants and boxers. Lisa pushed me over the bed. Without warning the first blow struck my ass. I jumped up.

"I swear to god, if you don't stick your ass back in the air I am going to cut your balls off" Lisa said. I bent back over she let 15 lashes sting across my ass.

"Holy shit that was so hot" Lisa moaned as she quickly stripped and laid on the bed. She pulled my head between her thighs. I licked and sucked her pussy. I had never witnessed her so wet. She moaned and rocked as I made her cum. I quickly mounted her and fucked her as well.

My ass still burning. Lisa now in a much better mood. Saw my ass and felt bad. She grabbed some salve as she applied it her finger slid across my asshole. I moaned. I had not meant to bit I did. Lisa had noticed right away and was soon rubbing her finger against my asshole. I was rock hard again.

"I think you like when I take charge" Lisa teased. She stopped and let me get dressed. But teased me about it for a few days.

"How's your butt?" Lisa asked one morning rubbing me from behind.

"Better" I replied trying not to burn her eggs.

"You seemed to remember things better the last few days" she commented. "Prehaps I need to take a firm hand with you from now on" with that she handed me a list of chores to do today.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Well since I make the money around here I think it's time you started doing your share around here" Lisa told me kissed me goodbye and was off to work. I was a bit annoyed that she expected me to do all this today. I blew it off and spent the morning playing video games. I did do some of the list in the afternoon. Got about half of it done.

When Lisa came home she didn't say a word. She walked up all lovey like and removed my belt. When she yanked my pants and underwear down I knew what she was up to.

"Lisa wait" I pleaded as she bent me over the counter. The first blow again shocked me but I stayed in place as another 19 rained down. Jumped on the counter and had me orally please her again.

"You are going to learn your place" she told me. She didn't let me fuck her. Instead she grabbed the salve and applied it to my ass. This time her finger probed my ass. She fingered me as I tried not to moan.

I got another list the next morning from a less loving wife. I didn't complain instead worked hard to make sure to complete it. Taking great care in how it was done as well.

"You did well" Lisa praised me. She gave me list every morning. Some simple errands, some cleaning, and some where as simple as writing a thank letter to someone. But she rebuffed any move I made toward sex. Buy the end of the week I was pretty horny and found myself checking out porn on my phone. It started as simple hot woman bit found myself searching for dominant woman. And masterbated to a nakedman being spanked by a woman in a business suit.

Lisa took the lead that night. She hardly ever initiated sex. But she not only initiated but insisted on being on top. She gave me instructions on what to do. Making me focus on her pleasure. This excited me more then I would like to admit.

"That was very nice" Lisa told me as she spooned me after. Her hand slid down my back and she rubbed my asshole.

"Would you like to try some anal play sometime? I read some guys really love it" Lisa whispered in my ear.

"No, I am not" I started to get angry but stopped as she pushed her finger into my ass.

"Shh, be a good boy. And be honest" Lisa corrected me.

"I don't know" I wimpered "it feels good but I not" I continued

"It's okay just to enjoy yourself" Lisa worked in a second finger. I lifted my ass giving her better access.

"From now on you are going to except my rule around here" Lisa told me. She continued for a few minutes then stopped. And we cuddled till we fell asleep.

I woke late Lisa already up. I found her in the kitchen making breakfast. As we sat down to eat. Lisa took my hand.

"I want you to understand. You need this" Lisa said softly

"You don't mean another spanking" I said wide eyed.

"No baby, I was doing some research and think you need a firm hand. Have you ever heard of a Female Led Marriage?" I just shook my head.

"It basically means I am in charge, of everything. You will do as you are told" she explained. "And if you don't there will be punishments. But also rewards for behavior, I will establish a list of rules you are to follow" she continued. "Now honey there is no saying no to this. I believe it is our only way forward, so you agree or move out" I nodded.

"Good now go do the dishes" she shooed me away. Lisa sent me a list of rules and explanations. I sat down and read them carefully.

I was now in charge of all domestic duties. From grocery shopping to scubbing floors.

All plans, commitments and or vacations where solely up to Lisa to approve

I was to wear only things Lisa approved. This included grooming, hair style. And what after shave I could use.

I was not to disagree with her in public ever. And in private although I could calmly express my opinion she would decide if it had any merit.

I was to give back rubs, foot rubs, even manicures if Lisa so wished.

I would take a cooking course because I would now be making all meals.

And sex. I was not to innate sex, ask for sex, or expect any sexual satisfaction. Porn was also now banned. This included pictures of scantily clothed woman. I was not to masterbate without permission

She laid out rewards, such as taking me out, buying me something nice.

Punishments could be spankings, timeouts

I asked questions but Lisa told me it was non negotiatqble. I agreed

Lisa stripped me naked and bent me over the kitchen counter where she used a wooden spoon to spank me 25 times. As a way of my agreeing to the new marriage. Lisa was patient at first correcting things I did not to her standards. She picked out my clothes everyday. No more sweats and sloppy tees. I was clean shaven everyday as well. The rule I broke was no masterbation. When Lisa came home that night she was mad. She had set up cameras in every room I had not known about.

"Don't even say a word" Lisa said as she walked in the house. "Naked now" she ordered.

"Think I don't know when you play with yourself" she scolded. She grabbed the belt and had me count as 25 smacks ran across my ass. As held me after she had grabbed the salve. But her fingers instantly went into my hole.

"You love when I play with you like this" Lisa smiled. I just nodded. As she figer fucked me. I was stunned when my dick started to leak oozing onto her slacks. She didn't stop until I stopped oozing. She then took a wet wipe and cleaned me. Before she fiddled with something then I heard a click. I looked down to see my penis in a cage.

"That way you won't play with my penis anymore" she told me. Over dinner I remained naked. As she asked about how it felt when she milked me. I had never heard the term and did my best to explain it. I got under the table and licked her an orgasm as she had dessert.

After that Lisa got very strick. She wanted my body free of hair other then the top of my head. She started calling me her little sissy boi. She bought a toy to use on my ass instead of her fingers. And another I could use on her. Since mine was locked up.

About two weeks of being locked I got frustrated and raised my voice. I got to wear a butt plug all night and a ball gag to make sure I remained quiet. I didn't even know she had these things. I also found myself bound naked to the bed as a time out when she went out with her friend for the evening. The more she pushed the more submissive I became. I found it all so exciting.

One evening she came home late , smelled of booze. She lifted her dress and wore no panties. She pulled my head to her sex. I sensed it was different right away.

"Do it! Suck his cum out of me" Lisa demanded. Pushing my face against her. She rubbed herself all over my face. Before she headed to the bathroom to be sick. I cleaned her up and put her to bed.

In the morning I went to check back to check on her.

"You are a cuckold now" she told me. I knew the term and lowered my head I wanted to cry. She motioned me to join her in bed.

"Shh, baby I am never going to unlock you. You love it too much when I milk you" she told me her hand patting my ass.

"Get naked" she said suddenly. I got up and did as she asked.

"What if I told you to put on a pair of my panties?" She asked. I looked down at the floor.

"Pick out a pair" Lisa said plainly. I went to her drawer. Not her everyday panty drawer. For some reason I went to wear she kept her sexy lingerie. I picked up a black lace pair of panties. Lisa smiled.

"Put them on"

I did as told she had me join her in bed again as she shopped online for panties in my size. She also bought a few other items such as a strapon. But mostly panties. Lisa saw her lover again that night. This time when she came home I was still in her panties and nothing else as I licked and slurped her cum filled pussy.

At the six month anniversary of our new FLM she bought me an engagement ring and had me get a tattoo on my ass that said property of Lisa in sparkling purple. I got her a smaller cage to lock me in. She says maybe at the one year she will unlock me. I actually don't care anymore. Most of our friends know I am locked and wear panties. Family just think I am whipped and have no backbone.

Lisa never introduces me to her lovers. But sometimes gives me details as I lick thier cum out of her.

[frozenjokes]

it’s not even language barrier induced miscommunication at this point we are just lying

better reading experience on ao3

It was a rare thing to see the humans freeze up like this, so much like a prey response, and it took Mumbo a few seconds of inquisitive clicks to realize what they were looking at. Oh.

“Is.. That a mermaid?” Scar asked, quiet, but thankfully not scared, goodness, Atlas could have told Mumbo they were popping up to say hello! They knew Grian had been so jumpy about Mumbo that he’d run away for a whole week! So stupid. Mumbo had just gotten through to him! Mumbo swiveled back toward the water, fins twitching irritably, but he didn’t get the chance to tell Atlas off before they spoke first.

‘Why are they looking at me like that.’ Atlas shifted where they were perched, distrust and discomfort clear in their stiff posture. ‘Make them stop.’

‘You were staring at them first! Get out of here.’ Mumbo shot back, though Atlas huffed, unimpressed.

‘Just wanted a look. This is deeply unnatural, Mumbo, I’ve decided.’

‘Good for you. Have fun thinking about it at the bottom of the lake.’

‘When is the human speaking mermaid going to visit?’

Mumbo didn’t get the chance to tell Atlas for the millionth time that he didn’t know and had no way to contact Etho when Scar began to trot towards the water, Mumbo stuck staring dumb as he went. Given that Grian had a similar look of bafflement on his face and Atlas was.. tense.. Mumbo guessed all three of them were on a similar wavelength.

“Hello!” Scar waved as he reached the waterline, radiant and innocent and so, so stupid. “Are you one of Mumbo’s friends?”

‘What is it doing.’ Atlas raised themself a little higher on their rocky perch. ‘Make it stop.’

“Scar!” Grian’s voice was shrill, “Let’s try not approach the stranger mermaid! We do not know if it’s friendly!”

Scar scoffed, “Uh, of course it’s friendly! Mumbo clearly knows the guy, they must be friends! I think if this was a stranger, we would know. For god’s sakes, Grian, you saw what he tried to do to Etho!” Scar continued to wave, stepping slowly into the water. Mumbo moved to intervene, frightened once again by the human’s blunted survival instincts, and at the same time Atlas hissed, long and low. At the very least Scar had the sense to stop where he stood, but he looked no less bright. “Hello, hello, I’m Scar!”

Scar startled when Mumbo ducked over his head from behind, blinking in rapid succession with those large, empty of thought, green eyes.

‘Stop it. They don’t like you. They don’t like humans.’

Scar stared blankly, as if enchanted. He smiled, disgusting in his innocence. “Well hello there!”

‘Stop being stupid.’

“I love you too!”

“Human, bad, annoying.” Mumbo was pretty sure he remembered those words correctly; if he’d pronounced them wrong he would never know, because Scar’s expression did not change. To solidify the meaning, he extended to Scar his most stern thumbs down. Scar did not react to this either, and Mumbo was starting to wonder if his brain had been melted in a heat vent.

Whatever trance had befallen them, the two of them looked up at the sound of a large splash, Atlas retreating back into the water. Mumbo’s fins relaxed, while Scar made a long noise of distress, hopping a little further into the water as if he’d ever have a chance of catching up. Mumbo left him to it, unconcerned. His fins prickled as he turned around, hoping to approach Grian, but unsure if the human would be receptive. As it stood, Grian was still staring starkly into the water, concern etched over his face as Scar hopped around in the shallows. Mumbo whistled, something light but sharp in an attempt to catch Grian’s attention, and was relieved that when Grian turned to face him, the stress in his brow eased.

Mumbo moved forward, and when he sensed no extreme fear, he continued, settling a comfortable distance away, but close enough for Grian to hear him. Scar seemed to notice this change at a delay, scrambling onto the beach to Grian’s heroic rescue, goofy as that was.

“Etho is here?” Mumbo had been meaning to ask for a while, but he wasn’t exactly sure which human words would get his point across clearly. Scar nearly tripped over Mumbo in his clumsy run up the beach, but Grian didn’t react to him, more focused on the question Mumbo hoped he’d asked correctly. Grian was so intent, it took him a moment to call Scar off as his companion sternly reprimanded Mumbo, who showed Scar just how much he cared with a brief flash of teeth.

“You want to see Etho?” Grian asked, and Mumbo didn’t know what he said, but he assumed that Grian would come to a more accurate conclusion than Scar would if whatever Mumbo had said ended up being more nonsensical than anything. He found himself frustrated at how hard this was; he’d felt alright going through the motions with Etho, but he’d always gotten feedback, and if Mumbo was stuck, they could work together to smooth things out. Maybe he was frustrated by just how much he’d forgotten. Mumbo had quite a good memory, a facet of himself he took quite a bit of pride in, but with no one to practice with him, it felt like nearly everything he’d learned about the human language had slipped away.

Truly, Atlas was the central reason that Mumbo was asking, but he also just.. wanted to see them again.

“Yes,” Mumbo tried, and he hoped the confirmation he was giving was for the correct assumption.

“I’ll call him!” Scar announced proudly, Mumbo cringing back from the noise, then cringing further when Scar scrambled over to their bags to get his Dreaded Noise Machine. It was a phone, Etho had told him as much and used one as a means to contact Joel, but Mumbo did not like or trust it, and he hated when it made noise. Humans were hard enough to understand in person, why in the world would they talk to each other through a horrible distorted noise box where nothing made sense. Both humans seemed to find Mumbo’s distaste for their phones amusing, which was all the more irksome.

After a little bit of fiddling, the phone began to dial. Then it stopped. With another press of a button it started again, then stopped, then started and stopped and started and stopped until Etho’s distorted voice sounded through the speaker.

“Hello, Etho! You’re on speaker, and I’m at the beach with Grian and Mumbo. What’re you up to?”

Whatever Etho said in response was a garbled mess, not even understandable as words. Mumbo shrunk away, giving up at trying to parse any of the words from either party until a soft whistle sounded through the other side, heavily distorted, yes, but intelligible.

‘Glad you’re well. I do not want to come to the beach.’ Well. Typical of Etho, if Mumbo was being honest.

‘Will you travel as a mermaid here? Sometime soon?’

‘I hope not.’ What a lovely ray of sunshine Etho was, Mumbo had forgotten in their time away from each other. Etho had inherited a focal trait from their time as a human, being that they went out of their way to be as utterly insufferable as possible.

Etho switched back to the human language after being pestered by Scar and Grian, only for the two of them to react in similar expressions of outrage, which was vindicating if nothing else.

“Etho-!” Scar really started to lay into them then, and while Mumbo shrank at his tone, that did not stop Scar, “Your friend wants to see you after he’s been gone for two whole months, he’s asking about you and you- you do not just get to say no!”

Etho started to say something, meek sounding, but Scar cut them off, “Sure you’ll be around when you do your little switcharoo, but that is NOT what you told him- he probably thinks you don’t want to see him! Huphuphup, just because you and Joel are engaged in some kind of pissing match right now doesn’t mean you can act all aloof when someone tangentially mentions your issue-“ there was a brief pause of garbling over the call before Scar bristled, “I’m not saying it’s your fault! He’s an asshole! That doesn’t mean you get to make it everyone else’s problem! Apologize!”

There was a short pause.

‘Sorry.’ the whistle came through softly, ‘I’ll be back next time I change.’

Mumbo brightened, but before he could tell Etho this was exactly what he wanted and that he was very excited to see them, Scar cut in, probably demanding to know what Etho had said, probably. Mumbo was really starting to get annoyed with Scar, all this yelling and pestering- but before Mumbo could whack him, Etho was whistling again.

‘I will be there tomorrow.’

Mumbo blinked, fins flicking.

‘As a mermaid?’

‘No.’ Before Scar could interrupt again, Etho hung up, the line going dark. Scar didn’t seem entirely pleased with this, but Mumbo wanted no more of his noise machine, making an attempt to snatch it out of his hands, an attack which Scar clumsily avoided, eyes wide.

“Mumbo- Mumbo no! Not my phone!” You would think the humans understood by now that kicking and flailing around on the beach activated some amount of Mumbo’s prey instinct, but they did not, so Mumbo took great joy in chasing a panicked Scar around the beach for a little while until his scales felt a little too dry and itchy from the sand, and he retreated into the water. Mumbo was relatively sure phones were one of the human items that could not get wet, so he hoped he gave Scar a little spook in revenge for the great crime of being annoying.

If Mumbo had indeed scared Scar, the human certainly didn’t hold a grudge, gallivanting right back into the lake after depositing his phone. Ultimately, Mumbo was quite pleased; he didn’t like to hold a grudge either, and at a moderate volume, Scar’s constant babbling was a noise he’d grown to miss in the quiet of the deep.

Still, he was a little concerned about Etho’s visit tomorrow.. he really hadn’t planned for Atlas to meet the human version, but.. it was probably fine. All in all, Mumbo was a little too excited at the idea of showing off the human language to reject an Etho visit, even if it might take longer for Atlas to really warm up to the guy.

Maybe he’d work on Grian’s prosthetic tomorrow as well! He’d do it now, but wasn’t sure how much tolerance Grian had left for him today, and in hindsight, maybe chasing his suicidally reckless friend around the beach for ten minutes was a stressful experience for Grian as an onlooker.. oh well.

Tomorrow was going to be a great day.

…

Mumbo usually spent his days with Atlas, tinkering or otherwise, but ultimately just being in their company, hoping to ease their discomfort with being so close to the surface. It was stressful for Atlas to be up here for such a long time, so close in proximity to an apex species that was waging a war on their people and their home, a war the mermaids would lose, and a place Atlas would never get to see again.

Atlas was curious and motivated, but they were also deeply worn, clear as the old scars that littered their body. Despite chasing change, collecting knowledge in hopes to preserve it, ensuring that no mermaid people were ever truly lost, Atlas did not always handle that change well, especially when things did not go their way. Convincing them to come here was probably a stressor within itself; this was a departure from Atlas’s self declared life mission, preserving language, connecting the travel-wary mers across the world through new song, new spells, and bolstering a species loyalty across nations so that when one pod chose to fight and die for their right to live as they’d done for thousands of years, others might join them.

This was a vacation. A pursuit of a passing interest in intelligent, complex language, for once not directly motivated by the slaughter of the Northern mers. It was not easy for Atlas, Mumbo knew it, but after so many years of endless work, Mumbo was also relieved they were taking a break to do something for themself.

Today, though, Mumbo was not at the bottom of the lake. He was up by the shore, in part working with Grian’s prosthetic and making minor adjustments (both humans had seemed VERY confused when Mumbo tried to take the glove back; couldn’t they see it didn’t fit properly yet?), as well as trying to figure out how in the hell to tell Atlas that the human-speaking mermaid Mumbo befriended was actually also a human. Mumbo was also concerned about Etho in general; he had forgotten how difficult to get along with Etho could be sometimes, and Atlas was, by all accounts, the same way. Either they would mesh or they wouldn’t, and Mumbo had a feeling that Atlas’s realization that Mumbo had kinda sorta fudged the truth might not go down so well.

But Mumbo was going to tell them. Just as soon as he finished this one final adjustment on Grian’s glove…

And then he heard crashing through the brush, looked up at the sky, flinched because ow the sun, realized it was midday, and promptly dove into the water. Atlas must have sensed Mumbo’s panic by the way he was swimming, alert and tense by the time Mumbo made it down to them, which was not the atmosphere Mumbo had wanted to have this conversation in.

‘What’s wrong? Humans?’ Well, that was a concerning if not predictable place for Atlas’s mind to go, again, not suitable for the information Mumbo needed to break to them very quickly.

‘Yes- Well, no, it’s just my humans but they- Listen, you remember the human-speaking mermaid I told you about, Ghost, right?’

‘I remember.’ But to Mumbo’s alarm, Atlas had started to move towards the surface, as if they didn’t believe that everything was fine and dandy like Mumbo had said- he would have been offended if Atlas was not swimming directly toward the thing Mumbo was not ready for them to see yet-

He tried cutting into Atlas’s path, but the other mermaid bullied their way past. ‘Is Ghost dead.’ They whistled the words like they were already resigned to the outcome, Mumbo left frantically trying to save this before it got out of hand.

‘Ghost isn’t dead! They’re here! They’ve just- they’ve got this condition-‘

‘Here?’ This seemed enough to stop Atlas in their tracks, clicking with some alarm as they scanned their surroundings, ‘No one is here, I would have seen them come in.’ Atlas continued forward, faster, like they were concerned Mumbo might have hit his head and become an unreliable messenger of the danger at the surface.

‘They’re sick!’ Mumbo stressed, uselessly, ‘You have to understand, Ghost is sick!’

Atlas’s concern only seemed to grow, stopped only briefly just feet from the surface to give Mumbo a quick once over, sniffing for blood or perhaps illness, to which Mumbo flinched away and Atlas moved on. Both mermaids surfaced at the same time, face to face with the three humans on the beach.

Scar looked like he was seconds from his usual routine of sticking his head under the water and screaming, and Grian hadn’t noticed yet, fiddling with their bags, but Etho was looking directly at them. They clicked their tongue once, perhaps an old habit, then shaded their eyes from the sun with a hand despite the cloudy day. Etho couldn’t see well, but regardless, Mumbo had a feeling they would be able to parse out the shape of a second body in the water.

“Mumbo,” Etho said, catching both Grian and Scar’s attention, ‘Who is that?’

Atlas’s reaction to this could only be described as violent, so starkly terrified they nearly leapt out of the water then back under again, like a fish woken from a sound sleep by the jaws of a barracuda on its scales. Mumbo only felt tentacles at the end of his tail for a moment before he was yanked under the water.

‘Did that human just speak!? Who taught it how to do that? Was it you?’

‘That’s Ghost,’ Mumbo said, shriveling into himself at every word, every second of stunned silence that followed the revelation, ‘They really are a mermaid.. just.. sick.’

‘WHAT!?’ The rise in tone was not conveyed through volume, but the utter intensity of Atlas’s stricken body language, limbs strained near quivering. Mumbo thought they might just explode. Again, Atlas exploded above the water, but they didn’t stop there, barreling towards the shore. Compared to Mumbo though, Atlas was not nearly as fast, and he was able to intersect and slow them down at several points, the both of them wrestling and fighting the entire way, Mumbo ending this battle by holding on for dear life and praying that Atlas didn’t intend on investigating with their teeth. But by the time the two of them reached the waterline, all three humans were behind the thick foliage and Grian was high in a tree. Mercifully, Atlas did not leave the water, staring and clicking rapidly like gathering this information at a faster rate would make any of this make sense. Etho looked quite a bit jealous of Grian’s position right now, bristling and terrified. Scar.. Well, when Scar took a step outside of the treeline, Grian screamed at him and Etho yanked him back. Maybe this proof of fear helped to relax Atlas, their posture loosening, but the stalemate remained, and Mumbo’s stomach churned when he realized he’d have to be the one to break it.

Slowly, awkwardly, he shuffled out of the water, facing Atlas with fins as relaxed and confident as he could make them.

‘Atlas.. This is Ghost.’ Awkwardly, Mumbo gestured, but it was pretty clear who he was talking about regardless, ‘My friend. Mermaid born, but- cursed. Sorry, I did not mean for you to meet this way.’

‘Mumbo!’ Etho’s whistled cracked like a human voice would from stress, ‘Did you drag me here to meet a hostile mermaid without any warning!? I wouldn’t have come! I didn’t want to come!’

Mumbo bristled, turning on them, ‘It’s not like I could get a word in edgewise! Scars wouldn’t shut their mouth, and you cut the line before I could ask you to wait until the change!’

“Scar!” No longer hiding behind him, Etho whirled on Scar, who jumped back in alarm, “He didn’t even want me here today!”

“What!? But he-“

Mumbo hissed, successfully stopping Scar from whatever nonsense he meant to defend himself with, ‘I’d say you’re both the problem, stop with the noise. I’m sorry for my own part in this, but you’re here now. If no one has a problem,’ Mumbo glanced at Atlas, whose body he couldn’t quite read, but seemed mild enough, ‘Then we can chat a little, right?’

‘I have a problem!” Etho balled their fists, throwing a little tantrum with their arms that Mumbo cared very little for.

“Is it.. safe..?” Grian asked, hesitant, to which Scar gave a noncommittal shrug.

‘Keep the other two on the beach, and I will be civil.’ Atlas looked wary, but not aggressive. When Mumbo looked to them, they briefly flashed their teeth, which.. Mumbo supposed was fair. He kept his fins low, an unspoken apology.

He kept this stance as he turned back to Etho, more of a pleading than anything, but when Mumbo gestured to a shaded corner of the beach, Etho seemed to give in, shoulders hunched. ‘Not like my ride will let me go home anyway.’ They retrieved something from their bag, one of the long blankets the humans commonly brought with them, and traipsed to the suggested spot. Scar started to follow, but was stopped in his tracks by a hearty hiss from Atlas and Mumbo, recoiling like a kicked pup.

“Is he mad at me?” Whatever Scar had asked, Etho shook their head without looking back.

“Just annoyed. I’ve got a hunch this new guy doesn’t like humans so much, so maybe don’t test your luck today.” Those seemed to be the magic words, Scar retracing his steps back to Grian. While he kept glancing back at Atlas, Mumbo was relieved he got the message. Once Mumbo was sure Atlas and Etho got along, he would tend to the humans on the other side of the beach.

Etho set their blanket near the waterline, but not close enough to get nicked by the tide, which was fine by Mumbo. He had a feeling Atlas would be more comfortable with the space, and decided to splay himself on the beach, half in and half out of the water. Despite this introduction being a minor disaster, he was pleased to see Etho, and excited for his two worlds to meet.

‘Are you from the north?’ Etho broke the initial silence, perhaps intimidated by Atlas’s admittedly unfriendly demeanor, glaring at Etho as if sizing them up. Though, honestly, that’s just kind of how Atlas looked on a good day..

They took their time responding, appraising, ‘You know Northern mermaids?’

Etho met this question with equal caution, ‘I know of them. Not so many of your stature here, at least there weren’t back home. I’m sorry. I’ve known human violence.’ Mumbo was quite shocked; maybe he should give Etho a little more credit, but in the time Mumbo spent with them, he hadn’t known Etho to speak with this much.. consideration.

‘What happened to you?’ The same could not be said for Atlas, who lacked any tact, but Mumbo sensed discomfort from them more than distrust, maybe exacerbated by Mumbo’s knee jerk reaction of shrinking back.

Etho only looked tired. ‘There’s a.. being not far from here. They take a human form, but hold a greater power. Curse, as Mumbo said, is an apt word. They took my body, and gave me theirs. Sometimes they will switch us back, and if you remain, you may see me around again.’ Briefly, Etho pulled down their mask, tracing the scar across their cheek, all the way down to where it disappeared under the rest of their clothes, ‘One of many violences afflicted upon me, all the way down my tail. The others did not scar, a facet of their magic. In a separate instance, I have also had my scales stripped, which I know you’ve likely seen in some capacity. I’ve heard they chain their still-living victims in the ice under the water. As bait, and renewable resources. Not a legal practice among humans, though I doubt this brings you any comfort.’

‘They- You- What?’ Mumbo did not know either of those last two tidbits, fins flared in alarm, but Etho shook their head.

‘I was healed magically. I will not say more.’

Mumbo accepted this wordlessly, though concern still gnawed at his chest in the wake of this new information. For Etho, yes of course for Etho, but for Atlas as well- Mumbo knew humans could be cruel, he knew many were monstrous, but he did not know to what extent.

Atlas straightened, meeting Etho with more respect, ‘I am Northern. They called me Cub, born of a mer of the same name, one hundred and thirty fifth to hold it, and another of a long line, Iskall. Both were killed by human hands, as was my twin. I defected, my great burden. With it, I’ve rescinded the name, though I do hope one day to pass it on in honor of their memories.’ Atlas paused, shifting, ‘I left to preserve a culture I am certain will be destroyed. I hope to connect our many peoples through language, so if battles like the ones up north are being waged, the other pods will not sit idly, but.. That is not why I am here.’ Atlas looked embarrassed momentarily, or maybe guilty, shrinking into themself, ‘Maybe I should not be here.’

Mumbo straighted, fins flicking as if he could physically dismiss the thought, ‘You can not carry the world on your shoulders. You have apprentices to continue your work, a little time away will not doom you.’

‘Call me Atlas,’ Atlas ignored Mumbo, not even acknowledging him with a twitch or flick of their tentacles, but this wasn’t unordinary behavior, just.. unfortunate. If Mumbo could not convince them otherwise, he would have to settle with this, bringing Atlas here, getting them to see the sun again.

Etho nodded, which Atlas seemed to understand as acknowledgment.

On an absent click, Mumbo sensed something behind him, turning with some exasperation to see Scar. The human blinked rapidly from his place in the sand where he’d been sliding on his stomach, looking guilty enough to know he’d been caught. Perhaps trying to hide, he let his face fall into the sand. Mumbo snorted, miffed, but not without amusement. He decided to leave Etho and Atlas to it, snaking around to take care of their nosey pest. The look on Scar’s face when he realized Mumbo was charging him was absolutely priceless, the human yelping as he scrambled to his feet, then yelling and laughing equally as he ran, sounds Mumbo had come to learn stemmed from great joy.

Needy human, can’t go a couple of minutes without constant attention.. Well, Mumbo would teach him to be careful what you wish for!

[paperpalooka]

The option for tumblr live has switch to snooze for 30 days we are winning!!!

[elfcollector]

I feel ill. All the fools and villains who ever fell for my ploys, they're — they're here!

[amethystina]

Dear Amethystina,

How could you do this to me????? I think I'm going to perish. PERISH. You posted about Mad Dog and twinky Woo Do Hwan and??? How could I not watch it???? And now I've just finished episode 12.

And let me tell you. I have suffered. The PAIN of watching Jang Ha Ri (who I really want to like, mind you) and Kim Min Joon doing their stupid flirty thing. Maybe it's because I haven't finished the drama, but I feel like Ha Ri is being done dirty. And without even mentioning the surprisingly homoerotic bromance of said Kim Min Joon and Choi Kang Woo.

Since you are the reason I started watching Mad Dog in the 1st place (curse my similar taste), I'm ranting to you. I know you have no particular obligation to reply. :) But these are my thoughts, and I must tell them to someone because I don't know anyone else who watches this drama, and the tumblr tag for it is a vacuum. Let the rant commence.

How could the writers do this to Jang Ha Ri's character?? Maybe it's just bc I haven't gotten to that part yet, but she barely got any backstory, and I'm 3/4 of the way through this drama. Just a couple lines abt her father being saved by Kang Woo. And that's it. That's it! Even Cheetah got a friggin flashback. Even though he's a less significant character. (Pardon me, Cheetah, but it's true.) Since she has no backstory, her character feels rather ungrounded. We, the audience, don't really know who she is w/o the two main leads. With every other character, we know who they are on their own, because they got a rather thorough backstory.

But Jang Ha Ri has barely any, which I think is strange, since she's pretty important. Therefore, whenever I see her on screen, I just can't connect with her. In the beginning of the drama, I was like "wow, this is such a good setup for her character! i can't wait to see what the writers do with her". But now I'm 3/4 of the way through this drama, and she's got almost nothing. That causes me to feel like she's been shortchanged, and that her relationship with the other characters (especially Min Joon) is built on a foundation of sand. They told us abt her background, but they didn't show it, which kinda invalidates her relationships w/ other characters, because she's barely a character by herself. That's not to say that she doesn't have personality, but we don't understand her on her own, we can only access her thoughts when she's with the two male leads, or doing smth for them, etc.

She can't have a romantic relationship with someone else if the audience doesn't know who she is on her own. (Kinda like how, in real life, you have to know who you are and love yourself before you can love someone else.) That's why her and Min Joon's relationship feels so insincere, because in it she's basically just Min Joon's love interest. As you can tell, I'm a lil salty.

And on top of all that, Min Joon and Kang Woo have such promise as a couple!!!!! Kang Woo choked Min Joon up against a wall. (parallels to the Devil Judge) They were living together. For God's sake, Min Joon cooked Kang Woo a thank-you meal for caring enough about him to check on him when he was in trouble, for saving his life. How Min Joon looked so crushed when Kang Woo told him they weren't living together! And I can't even read any fanfics about it, since there's literally only 3 fanfics for their pairing on ao3! And none of them are written the way I think the characters should be written. So I may have to write a fanfic for them myself, since I need them to kiss.

For my ask, I request a few words of comfort involving Min Joon and Kang Woo. I would ask for a short lil drabble where they're happy together, but if that isn't smth you want to do, just pretend I never asked. Just say "They kissed and lived happily ever after. The end." Those words from you would bring me great happiness in my time of sorrow.

Ever your faithful reader,

Sofapup

(P.S. And btw 39 of WHTD was heartwrenching and I loved it sm and I cried why do you do this to me)

I'm sorry this took a little longer to answer than usual but when I got this ask, you were actually ahead of me in the drama since I've been putting it off for so long x'D So I had to wait until I had also finished episode 12, just in case there was some important information there that might influence my reply.

Also, I want to point out that I never actually told anyone to watch Mad Dog since I still haven't finished it myself. So you only have yourself to blame, my friend ;)

ANYHOW. Your feelings about Ha Ri mirror my own. She is done SO dirty. I was SO EXCITED when she first showed up because it seemed like she was going to be a really interesting character, but, pretty soon, I realised how wrong I was. I agree that they've given her almost no backstory whatsoever and so nothing she says or does feels truly anchored in anything. And she fluctuates wildly between confident badass and flustered damsel in distress in a way that's genuinely baffling to me.

Like, in episode 12 when she got chased into a dead-end by the baddie and everyone was freaking out — including her. But, like, my dudes. Did you all forget how she literally parkoured her way down a three-story building in episode 1? Her ability to climb and acrobat her way out of trouble has been firmly established. But now she can't even climb the pile of rubble in front of the one-story house she's caught next to? What the actual fuck is going on?

I am FURIOUS on her behalf.

And that is actually one of the reasons why I'm having trouble getting through this drama. That and the general inconsistent characterisation (not just Ha Ri), plus the shoehorned flirting. The general plot and setup of the drama are fine and I like quite a lot the characters and their relationships, but it's also forcing a lot of confusing and contradicting information in my face in a way that instantly makes my hackles rise. It feels almost clumsily unprofessional?

Like, don't get me wrong — I'm still enjoying most of this drama and I'm pretty sure I'll finish it — but dear LORD is the characterisation bad in some cases. At this point, I think I can say I'm pretty good at characters without that being taken as bragging, yeah? I have a pretty easy time pinning down their personalities, behaviour etc. etc. And when I can't it's usually a bad sign because, nine times out of ten, that means your characters are inconsistent. Either because the writer doesn't have a clear picture of who they are, or because they keep making the characters do things they usually wouldn't because they want to advance the plot (poor Ha Ri suffers from both, I'm afraid to say).

That's not to say that a character has to be predictable. Kang Yo Han is a good example of a character who was unpredictable enough that I couldn't say for sure I understood him until I had watched the whole thing. I needed all the information before I could form a clear picture. But, even then, he was consistent in his characterisation throughout the entire drama. To be honest, he's one of the most consistent characters I've ever seen, especially since, even on a rewatch, his actions don't change. You understand his motivations better, sure, but his actions are exactly the same and that, right there, is something I am in awe of. Even the impulsivity, recklessness, viciousness, sudden swings in direction — all of it was consistent in the end because his core personality and values were. Kang Yo Han is a marvellous character from a craft perspective.

But in Mad Dog? Shit's all over the place for the majority of the characters. The most solid ones are the bad guys since their core personality trait is "hilariously evil." Which might not be a very nuanced personality, but at least it's consistent. Almost everyone else has been forced to be out of character for convenient plot purposes at some point.

And the worst crimes by far are committed against Ha Ri and Min Joon in order to force their romance. Now, don't get me wrong — I LOVE romance and the actors have some pretty nice chemistry — but none of it really fits. Not with the rest of the story, the pacing of the rest of the story, the (small amount of) backstory we get for the two of them, the tone of the rest of the story, or the initial characterisation we were given. It feels like a literal case of "here is a male and a female of roughly the same age and now we need to make them kiss because heteronormativity" with no thought to how to actually make it believable. So they cram in cutesy and supposedly romantic scenes (often with Min Joon feeling a really confusing need to protect Ha Ri? Even if she could literally kick his ass? But because she's a woman he has to I guess?) that either happen out of the blue or just way too early in their relationship for it to be believable and it just annoys me so much.

I swear, after the car explosion thing in... can't remember the episode. But Kang Woo drags Min Joon out of the burning car, yeah? And Ha Ri shows up and FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON pulls the unconscious and clearly injured Min Joon into her arms? Ma'am. Girlfriend. Bestie. He's got a bleeding head injury — possibly also a neck injury. Maybe don't move him more than necessary? Also, isn't he a conman? As in, the type of person you claim to hate most because of your tragic past? Why are you suddenly pulling him into your arms like he's your injured boyfriend? He was fine just lying on the ground, I promise. This really isn't necessary.

And THEN you find out it's because she needed to get blood on her jacket so that Min Joon could get worried and ask her about it when he was at the hospital later and she could tell him she was fine because it was all his but ooooh loooook, he caaaares about her! Isn't that cuuuuuute?

Someone please put me out of my misery.

I legit had to pause the episode and just stare out into space for a couple of seconds when that happened because that's just SUCH TERRIBLE WRITING. I can do better than that and writing isn't even my job! It made NO sense for her to act the way she did and it honestly just made her look stupid. All for a clumsy attempt at furthering her romance with Min Joon? I am FUMING.

(Is the script forcing you to be stupid, Ha Ri? Blink twice if you need me to come save you)

And the forced romance between Ha Ri and Min Joon is only made more hilarious by how effortless his connection is with Kang Woo. It's more consistent with their characters, consistent with the overall pacing, and genuinely more interesting. And it just baffles me how completely off the mark the writer was since Kang Woo is getting all the important emotional scenes with Min Joon, not Ha Ri.

Like, the scenes where Min Joon is vulnerable and talking about his childhood and dead brother? Which would be great in order to build trust between him and Ha Ri? He's having all of those scenes with Kang Woo. Which I don't mind, of course (it's HILARIOUSLY gay) but that just proves that the romance between Min Joon and Ha Ri was an afterthought and the build-up of it was just slapped on without much thought to the characters. It's romance for the romance's sake. Because the actual building of a relationship, sharing of emotions, of grief and painful memories? Min Joon doesn't do that nearly enough with Ha Ri to make the romance stick, especially due to the aforementioned problem with her having too little backstory and firm ground to stand on. He honestly has more connection, more in common, AND more chemistry with Kang Woo.

So, long story short, I feel your pain. Ha Ri is being treated so, so unfairly and it makes me so angry. But, on the other hand, I find the gay romance brewing between Kang Woo and Min Joon absolutely amazing. And, to my surprise, I might just have to retract my earlier statement about the writer not having any idea about how gay this is. Because I actually went to check who the screenwriter was and turns out it's the same woman who worked on Beyond Evil. Which I have not seen but reports tell me it's hella gay. So, tbh, the gay might not be as unintentional as I first thought?

Like, I obviously don't know this woman but it would be HILARIOUS if she's just sneaking gay shit into her shows and subtly sabotaging the straight romances by making them this shitty. I know we're reaching conspiracy theory levels here but I would definitely do that if I were her.

Thank you for your service, ma'am.

(Too bad you write such shitty female characters, at least in this drama)

Anyway. I'm genuinely confused by the tone of Mad Dog because they play it very straight (pun intended). I mean, looking at The Devil Judge I think it's pretty clear that there's a cheeky little undertone of "we know what we're doing but we're not going to say outright what it is — if you know, you know ;)" But in Mad Dog? They don't even really address the fact that Kang Woo and Min Joon have all the deep, emotional scenes while Min Joon and Ha Ri only get cringey and clumsy "romantic" scenes. But Min Joon and Ha Ri is the endgame?

While Kang Woo is probably meant to become a substitute older brother to Min Joon or something? But I really question why they had that whole "whoops, Min Joon accidentally impersonated Kang Woo's wife there for a second" plotline in that case. Man, I was laughing so hard x'D Like, Kang Woo outright says that Min Joon is the first person to cook for him and share a meal with him in that apartment since his wife died.

Sir. I... don't think you realise how unintentionally gay that sounds.

(But maybe your writer does. I'm keeping my eyes on you, ma'am)

Because if Min Joon had been a woman? That admission would have been taken as a hint of something romantic possibly brewing between them. Not necessarily that Min Joon was taking Kang Woo's wife's place, but stepping up as the next candidate, at the very least. And I find that absolutely HILARIOUS.

Okay, this is getting really, really long. As you can see, I also have A LOT of thoughts on Mad Dog x'D But also, as mentioned, I haven't finished it yet and if I ever were to write anything (which I honestly can't promise since it depends on how the drama ends and what my (already packed) schedule looks like) it wouldn't be able to until I have. But trust me when I say that I am quite intrigued to see where this goes — even if it means I have to suffer through the shoehorned flirting between Min Joon and Ha Ri.

(For the record, I am ANNOYED by how much I dislike those scenes. I WANT to like their romance! But it just feels so, so incredibly clumsy and forced and I, unfortunately, have standards. So it's a no from me so far)

Also, fun fact: I started Mad Dog as a palette cleanser after a lot of gay romance dramas, wanting something different. And, I mean, a story about life insurance fraud can't be gay, can it? So I went in with the best and purest intentions.

But then I started watching and somewhere around the point where Kang Woo slams Min Joon up against a wall for the first time I just put my head in my hands. Because I could see where this was going.

And then I made the mistake of looking up the poster for the drama and, I swear, I was beginning to have war flashbacks.

That's not gay at all.

And this isn't even the first time this has happened to me

Or even the second, third, fourth, or fifth. I think I'm up to seven or something? At this point, there's a joke amongst my friends that I have a gaydar meant specifically to locate gay dramas that aren't actually gay dramas — especially when I'm not actually looking for them.

It's a weird superpower to have, but there you go.

ANYHOW. Yes. Good luck with finishing this drama, I guess? I'll try to do the same but, considering my current pace, I can't say when I will. It's a bit of a drag sometimes, not going to lie. But I do like the plot and characters enough to want to see through to the end.

Also, I'm so glad you liked chapter 39 of Who Holds the Devil! Thank you! Now take care, darling 💜

[starlooove]

Read one or two fics where they give Duke a personality treat Damian like a human being and stop sucking Tim’s dick for 5 seconds and everything else feels like forcing urself to eat normal food after tasting the fruits of the fae

[musical-chick-13]

So the problem is. That I don't want to call Ten-cubed "fourteen." I think Ncuti should be. Fourteen. He IS fourteen.

But if I want to talk about Ncuti's specific incarnation of this character. And make it clear that I am talking about him. I will have to call him "Fifteen." But doing that means that everyone involved in this ridiculous naming decision wins.

[toytulini]

i may not be able to open posts from my notes or messages or get more context on posts via looking at the notes, but at least i can make fucked up coffee properly now

[mainfaggot]

hyper bc I had a latte and gay club music playing so I cleaned the kitchen and living room in a record time of 42 minutes

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[paralien]

whenever I feel the emberassment of living slam dunking me in the face. just a real suckerpunch to the throat. I like to remind myself that the people around me have told me, and I quote, "you're very weird, but also very easy to love". I may be strange, and cringe, but the people around me say I'm very sweet, and they still invite me for dinner or ask me to watch their cat. Being a little embarrassing and weird isnt the end of the world. Because you're very sweet. And you try. And that's ok.

[alteredbeast]

idk how we got to assuming "stylized" games are inherently more ethical than realistic ones but i think it sets a bad precedent. some 3d artists enjoy working in realism. some hyper-stylized projects work their devs to the bone. like nice dichotomy idiot what falls outside it

[whimsyprinx]

currently failing to cope with the fact that none of my friends feel like My Friend

[binch-i-might-be]

my hitherto temporary work contract has now become permanent. yaaaay.

[grapeskeeto]

"why didn't my friend group drop my ex after I told them how awful it was to be with him?" because he told us how awful it was to be with you.

[musical-chick-13]

Not to be a Hater™ (okay, maybe a little bit), but I genuinely don’t understand what the point of the “most annoying fandom” poll is.