#Zheng Bei be like no no not that one

[movielosophy]

The First Shot | Who wants to team up with Yao Yao?

[hidey-writes]

six sentence saturday

Zheng Bei doesn’t speak again until they’re headed toward the precinct, and then it’s an abrupt thing, the van heading down the middle of a nondescript street as he says, “Gu-laoshi, have you thought about what you’re doing after the case closes?”  Gu Yiran flashes back to the night market: the crowd, the noise. The burn of grilled squid against his tongue, and the heated brush of Zheng Bei’s hands against his own. When the case closes, are you still going back to Huazhou? and the way Gu Yiran had replied without thinking, Trying to drive me away? That heart-shock moment after, Zheng Bei’s reply still hanging in the air between them: Aren’t I asking you to stay? Quietly, Gu Yiran echoes, “After the case closes?”

a snippet from chapter three while i slooooowly find my way through the revision :3

[lunarriviera]

hi hey hello i have started watching a new crime drama and I AM OBSESSED. it's called 雪迷宫 or, for some reason, The First Shot, although it should be more properly Snow Maze. it's a period piece set in 1997 and it's produced by ZHANG YIMOU which must be why the production values are actually good??? anyway i am here to tell you all about it and why you should be watching it okay here we go

first of all there's a big hot dumb cop, zheng bei. yes that's huang jingyu and you might not like him because of his apparently quite sketchy personal life but all i care about in this case is that he's tall, and thoughtful, and a police captain who's protective of his people and a little bit of an idiot. my catnip tbh. (i guess he was in addicted too? somehow breaking the you-can-only-be-in-one-BL rule?)

(ETA that by "dumb" of course he's not dumb at all, only by comparison; cf. my own stupid meta on this fascinating topic)

then there's an effete genius consultant, gu yiran (wang ziqi), who knows everything there is to know about drugs. he comes from the south to help these ignorant northerners form an anti-narcotics unit. he's such a massive nerd, the team doesn't like him until they realize that he runs 10k every morning and can outrun motorcycles and is actually quite useful. then suddenly it's no longer "gu-laoshi" but is all "ran-ge" this and "ran-ge" that. he can't dance for shit. i adore him.

there's a superb seven-samurai style Assembling The Team sequence in which this cop is brought in as the muscle. Her nickname is mad dog yao and she kicks the ass of an entire club at one point. we love her. her only problem is that, not unlike zhang haixing in tibetan sea flower, she will in fact fight a wall. here's gu yiran's face after a drug dealer mistakenly underestimates her and she stomps on him.

one of my favorite things about this drama so far is how poor the police are. it's 1997 in a dinky northern precinct and these cops ain't got shit. no computers. rudimentary cellphones. barely any forenic analysis, and most of that is on pieces of paper. no bullpen. no interrogation rooms. they have to interview suspects at their desks.

captain zheng is so underpaid he can't even afford a real pointer for his situation board, he has to go outside and get a literal stick.

drives his dad's chicken delivery van. has to slam himself against the front door to open it. everything about this is absolutely perfect.

i'm only on episode 7 but this shit is already brotastic. please behold:

yes that is an actual line from the show. yes gu yiran has to live with captain zheng, they can't afford fancy accommodations for him. turns out there's a trundle bed made out of paper clips but that's okay, they still get plenty of cosy domestic time together.

and that's also what i already love about this drama—in spite of being about anti-narcotics, it's also very slice of life, very daily city life, with meals and neighbors and friends and family and did i mention food, there is so much eating in this drama. it's gorgeous. also i'm improving my colloquial chinese by leaps and bounds.

of course you are you stupid service top, now take care of the baby.

and those are just some of the reasons why you should be watching the first shot, which is funny and suspenseful and unexpectedly brainy and well-cast and has beautiful opening credits. there are 19 episodes on youku's youtube channel right now and the subs are shockingly high quality. i'm hooked, and also so mad at my day job because i can't just binge it, pls join me in this handbasket

[linghxr]

My 2024 in cdramas, cmovies & cvariety

With 2024 now over, it's the perfect time to recap what Chinese-language shows and movies I've been watching since my previous write-up in spring 2024. I think I'll do one annually from now on!

This time I've added YouTube links (if available). I do my best with content warnings, but it's possible I've missed things. I only include warnings for things I have finished (not abandoned shows).

Shows/series:

Some of these were mentioned as “currently watching” in my previous post. They are marked with an asterisks*.

《微暗之火》 Tender Light

After Zhou Luo drops out of university and returns home under mysterious circumstances, he becomes a witness in a homicide case involving Nan Ya, a woman trapped in an abusive marriage. I watch a lot of Chinese crime/mystery shows, but this one was unique in that it focuses more on relationships. I enjoyed it but feel it would be stronger if it were shorter, maybe 20 episodes instead of 28.

Content warning: Domestic violence, death, sexual assault

Watch on YouTube

《猎罪图鉴2》 Under the Skin S2

Sketch artist Shen Yi, police officer Du Cheng, and the rest of the Beijiang team continue to utilize art to solve unusual crimes. I didn't initially plan to watch season 2, but after giving season 1 another try, the show grew on me. Season 2 didn't quite capture the magic of season 1, but it still had some strong moments. My favorite case was the Chinese opera one.

Content warning: Death, violence, child abuse, suicide, sexual assault

Watch on YouTube

《雪迷宫》 The First Shot

In the late 1990s, police officer Zheng Bei and his squad go after the drugs that have overrun their northeastern city, only to find that the roots run much deeper than they thought. The highlight of this show is the charismatic characters and their deep bonds. It was slow to get going, but I was on the edge of my seat the last 1/3 of the show. Definitely one of the most memorable of 2024 for me!

Content warning: Death, violence, sexual assault, addiction, and overdose

Watch eps 1-19/28 on YouTube

《我们与恶的距离》 The World Between Us

After a mass shooting, the families of the victims and perpetrator cross paths as they struggle to adapt to their new realities. This show deals with extremely heavy topics and felt quite realistic in many ways, so it was a difficult watch, frankly. There was a happy ending, but thinking back, I mostly remember feeling frustration throughout.

Content warning: References to death and a mass shooting event, violence, depictions of schizophrenic episodes

《新生》 Regeneration

At the funeral of a man named Fei Ke, the guests realize everything they know about the deceased is a lie and attempt to unravel the truth. I heard a lot of people didn't like the last 3 episodes, but I enjoyed the entire show. It was very satisfying seeing all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. Might even check out the original webnovel!

Content warning: Death, violence (but not graphic)

Watch ep 1, ep 2, ep 3, ep 4/10 on YouTube

《不够善良的我们》 Imperfect Us

Two women, discontent with their current lives, grapple with misplaced jealousy and regrets over what could have been. Starring 许玮甯 Hsu Wei-ning and 林依晨 Lin Yi-chen, this series is quite different from what I typically watch. It's about the ordinary and mundane, but I found myself excited to sit down and watch each episode. I think everyone can find something to relate to.

Content warning: Serious illness

《异人之下1》 I Am Nobody S1

After his late grandfather's body disappears, Zhang Chulan gets sucked into the world of yiren (outsiders) and must compete in a supernatural tournament, aided by the mysterious Feng Baobao. This show was a breath of fresh air and sooo hilarious, even if I didn't understand a lot of the lore about their powers. And season 2 just started airing!

Content warning: Violence, death, zombie-like creatures (I'm very afraid of zombies)

Watch on YouTube

--There was also a recent film adaption (confusing, I know), but I heard it was not well-received.

《摩天大楼》 A Murderous Affair in Horizon Tower*

Two police officers investigate the death of Zhong Meibao, a beautiful woman with a difficult past, only to find that her neighbors have secrets of their own. I'm so glad I finally watched this show after it had been on my list for so long. I felt it could have been a little tighter (maybe 13-14 episodes instead of 16), but overall it was a quality crime drama!

Content warning: Death, violence, voyeurism, domestic violence, child abuse

Watch on YouTube

Variety/reality:

《披荆斩棘4》 Call Me By Fire S4

Call Me By Fire is a bit like an idol survival show, but instead of young trainees, the contestants are established celebrities mostly ages 30+. I had such a blast watching season 4 week-by-week as it aired. The talent was out of this world! See my dedicated post about the franchise and its sister show, Sister Who Make Waves.

Watch on YouTube

《火星情报局6》 Mars Intelligence Agency S6*

I'm a massive fan of the singer 薛之谦 Xue Zhiqian, and I actually first became a fan due to his sense of humor. So why did it take me so long to check out this comedy show that he's on?!? I'd never watched a show like this before, but I loved it and surprised my self with my ability to follow jokes in Chinese! Sadly I haven't had time to start season 7, which is currently airing.

Watch on YouTube

Movies:

《谁先爱上他》 Dear Ex

After the death of his father and an argument with his mother, a boy bonds with Ah Jie, his father's boyfriend, all while a dispute over life insurance money plays out. I've actually watched film this twice, and I'm glad I did because I think I got a lot more out of it the second time! It's a sad premise, but there's ultimately a touching ending.

Content warning: Terminal illness, mild homophobia

《鬼才之道》 Dead Talents Society

A young ghost has only a month to become a ghostly legend, or else she'll fade from existence. I didn't think this movie sounded that interesting or original at first, but I watched it on a whim and actually REALLY enjoyed it! It struck the perfect balance of hilarious and heartwarming. I strongly recommend it if you don't mind some gore.

Content warning: Gore, body horror, death

《白日火焰》 Black Coal, Thin Ice

Former police officer Zhang Zili becomes entangled with Wu Zhizhen, a women who is linked to a series of murders that he's investigating. I watched this film after learning about its influence as part of the Dongbei renaissance. But it was honestly too grim for my liking. But if you like that kind of vibe, you might enjoy this.

Content warning: Death, violence, sexual assault

Watch on YouTube

Abandoning:

《唐人街探案》 Detective Chinatown

I only watched the first 8 episodes of season 1 because I heard the final 4 have a completely unrelated storyline and different characters (and is not as good). There was a season 2, but I think the Detective Chinatown humor is just not for me.

Watch on YouTube

《谁是被害者》 The Victims' Game

I watched the entire first season, but I'm not interested in season 2. The concept is strong, but I struggled to get through it. Also, I felt weird about how they portrayed the main character's autism/Asperger's syndrome.

On my watchlist:

Still have not gotten around to 《漫长的季节》 The Long Season or 《尘封十三载》 Thirteen Years of Dust...yikes! But also on my list:

《影后》 Born for the Spotlight

《莲花楼》 Mysterious Lotus Casebook

《我的阿勒泰》 To The Wonder

Happy 2025! I hope this year is filled with quality Chinese-language shows and movies for us all to enjoy ❤️

[hideyseek]

the STAGING of this oh my god???? gu yiran is the one uninjured, the one still armed. li wenlong's just been shot in like, the stomach, he threw his handgun at zheng bei earlier in a last-ditch attempt to get him to stop chasing him.

and yet: the one we see physically backed into a corner is gu yiran, not li wenlong. because!! with li wenlong's next line, "don't you want to know where your dad is?" gu yiran is metaphorically backed into a corner as well, and the staging is just there to reinforce that for the viewer!

[fromhereonblind]

WIP Wednesday

From one of my First Shot fics in progress...

Here are the facts: a gun is pointed right at Zheng Bei’s back. When it fires, it could kill him. He can’t see it, so he won’t be able to react in time. No one else is close enough to disarm the man holding it before it’s shot. 

No matter how much he thinks, from every angle he can see, there’s nothing else that would prevent Zheng Bei from getting hurt, except - if Gu Yiran moves into the trajectory himself, the bullet should hit his shoulder instead of the center of Zheng Bei’s spine.

So it’s the easiest question in the world. It’s a no-brainer. The pain that explodes in his side a moment later almost feels like a reward - the vivid physical proof that he kept the bullet from Zheng Bei. As he crumples to the floor, he manages to stay lucid long enough to see Xueyao tackle the dealer to the ground, and Zheng Bei rush, shouting, into his field of vision. And then it all goes black. 

[thelaithlyworm]

So I started watching The First Shot | Snow Maze because some tumblr moots were screaming about it (this is the way) and it's been interesting so far. Aaaaah, it's a cop show -- there's a city in Northeast China facing an influx of meth dealing, they have no expertise in this and so recruit an expert from warmer climes, a bespectacled young professor.

I found the first two eps okay but not particularly gripping, and then I got to ep 3 which is almost entirely our new team getting to know each other and I think I'm in for the long haul now.

It's just so very... so very Not Glossy in its cinematography. Desaturated colours, if someone wears a uniform it ain't flattering, the furniture fits awkwardly in its spaces, there's, there's background noise from other rooms during conversational scenes. Got a strong 'there is a documentary team quietly filming this in real-time' vibe to a lot of it.

And. And it's set in the fucking 90s. The clothes, the equipment, the little sister in High Fashion with her big earrings and blow-dried hair. This is a cop show set in a country I do not live in which I must read subtitles to understand and I Am Drowning In Nostalgia Right Now. Kind of a dizzying experience.

I can see why Zheng Bei (one of the male leads) is the team leader, too. He's bluff, solid, reliable, down-to-earth -- but we also see him soothing feelings when there's a culture clash with their Southern Expert and being quietly kind to the Expert in turn. He's got interpersonal skills without making a show of it, you feel me? Quietly kind. Seems like the kind of CO who'll turn up to underlings' five-year-old daughters' dance recitals for decades to come.

Early Verdict: would recommend.

[superwholockian93]

Still thinking about how the show is well aware and purposefully allows so many shipping moments while fully skirting censorship. Zheng Bei slept on the adjacent bed in the hospital for 2 days waiting for Gu Yiran to wake up but it actually shows from when Zheng Bei gets up and leaves so we don't SEE him do it but we know he DID. The flowers were actually *not* from Nan but Zheng Bei who himself says "cuz he wanted Gu Yiran to have more light in room?"

Or that 'might as well call Teacher Gu Zheng Yiran instead' like??? They were using it to tease Nan but you know WHY they are saying it

Or the classic trope used with romantic couple where one seemingly falls into danger (Zheng Bei "falling" off the terrace) and the romantic interest waking up from sleep/nightmare/shouting as a premonition (Gu Yiran waking up on the hospital bed)

[forerussake]

i can’t get over this one bit of the the first shot soundtrack that for some reason reminds me of jesus christ superstar, so every time it starts playing my brain instinctively is like ‘ah jesus boy is about to die.’ :////// though ngl that association does kind of enhance the vibe of whatever the fuck kinda relationship zheng bei and jiang xiaohai have going on between them.

[creativeafterdark]

Chapter 9 and 10

Heyo folks taking a @journeythroughjourneytothewest

Had to take a break from book club last week, burn out was very bad. But I've had a week to relax, celebrated my birthday and slept most of the day lol. Let's get back into Journey to the West

First: Chapter 9.

We finally meet our Monk and learn the story of his family!

We don't spend a lot of time learning about them (minus his Dad, gets a thumbs up from me. Kind to all and easy going enough to be like "I got hit by a ball-- oh I'm married now? Okay cool". Like talk about a shotgun wedding), but we do see little bits that remind me of our Monk. He does share his kindness with his Dad, and I genuinely think his anxiety is from his mom. I'll talk about her in a minute because she is a whole other thing.

My one question is... wouldn't other officials notice that Liu Hong, essentially becoming Chen E, had no idea what he was doing??? He went on business trips, did no one recognize he wasn't who he said he was????? I mean you would think anyone who took the exams with him who got positions would be like "uh... that's not him tf??". Or they just did not care. Who knows at this point. Apparently he had Six Eared Macaque level disguise skill, rolled a nat 20 in bullshitery.

Now. Lady Yin. The poor lady went through hell for over 18 years. She had to watch her husband get murdered, had to abandon her baby, and had to play wife to a murderer. Even when her husband came back... I'm not surprised she still ended up passing. That's a lot of guilt (and I'm sure Liu Hong was not kind to her) on her mind for a LONG period of time, nearly two decades. I wish there was a happy ending for the family but I get why it ended how it did, knowing what depression and anxiety can do to people.

Now our baby Monk. Our Xuanzang. I am so proud of him for being as brave as he was. This recently turned 18 year old did everything he could to help his family. Licking his grandma's eyeballs was...a choice. But it was for a good cause so good on him. I can see why he was a good choice as the Scroll Pilgrim.

And as promised, a sketch of Xuanzang

And as a bonus baby Monk with a doggo

But now we move to Chapter 10.

...I legit got annoyed going thru the debate between the fisherman and woodman. Like it went on far longer than it should have. I'm sure there was a profound moment that we're supposed to glean from it but I just wasn't receptive to it. Maybe I'll read it again.

Anyway.

I have been doing some looking into of Chinese historical heroes (I desperately want to read Romance of the three kingdoms, and I need more reading material about folk heroes and heroines) so seeing some references to the stuff I learned made me happy. There was mention of Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang and the painting of The Emporer's Generals on the doors (supposedly the Tang dynasty is where this practice was first used. A few three kingdom folks also get this treatment as door gods, or menshen, along with other important heroes and deities. Makes me wonder if the Emperor essentially deified his Generals and Wei Zheng. How does Heaven handle that?)

Fun fact! In my jttw x mythology story Wukong will work with Asena, mythical wolf mother of the Ashina Clan of Gokturks. Guess which dynasty of China had to deal with them a lot? :)

Anyway.

I've also come to the conclusion that Dragons just like to fuck around and find out. Like, the Dragon King just goes against heaven's orders to spite a very accurate fortune teller, does not even THINK of the consequences, and is surprised Pikachu face when he gets in trouble. Also not sure why he thought appealing to an earthly emporer would save him from THE SUPREME DAOIST DEITY'S JUDGMENT. Like, y'all, I'm beginning to think dragons just don't give a crap or just don't think. Got what he deserved for being dumb. Did the emporer make promises he shouldn't have? No doubt, you don't promise supernatural beings anything because it will make you want to die if they catch wind of you breaking promises, regardless of nationality. Did he deserve what he got? .... I mean historically probably but in the sense of this story, no.

I find the Tang dynasty interesting (because it gave us a certain Empress and had some fun female warriors, like Taizong's sister, who helped her father found the dynasty) and I can definitely thank jttw for getting my attention about it.

I think that's all I have as far as thoughts. And I apologize if my rambles just jumped around too much lol.

Over and out ✌️

[the-archlich]

In the Romance, virtually everyone tells Xuande that the Yiling invasion is a bad idea -- not just guys like Qiao Zhou (whose role in the Romance is just to be the cowardly guy in Xuande's court that always objects to any fighting) but even Kongming. Is that just more fluffing of Kongming from the novel, or did he really register objections?

It does seem like Zhuge Liang was against it. I couldn't track down a direct statement from him in his biography (didn't feel like doing all the work) but this passage from Fa Zheng's makes it pretty clear.

When Xiānzhǔ had just taken Imperial Title, and was about to campaign east against Sūn Quán to avenge the disgrace of Guān Yǔ, most of the officials remonstrated, but he would not listen to a single one. Zhāngwǔ second year [222], the main army was heavily defeated, and returned to station at Báidì. [Zhūgě] Liàng sighed and said: “if Fǎ Xiàozhí were still here, then he would have been able to hold back our ruler, and have him not go east, but even if we had gone east, then it certainly would not have been this much of a disaster.”

The statement here indicates that Zhuge Liang did not want Liu Bei to go on the campaign ("he would have been able to hold back our ruler, and have him not go east") and was among the many officials who objected.

The campaign wasn't inherently a bad idea, though. If Liu Bei could seize Yidu, he'd have a foothold in Jing once again and could possibly negotiate for more of the territory. For example, much of Wuling was occupied by hostile locals who allied with Liu Bei and he may have been able to persuade Sun Quan it wasn't worth the effort to maintain the region. Everyone knew the alliance between Sun Quan and Cao Pi couldn't last for very long, and under pressure from both Sun Quan was much more likely to capitulate to Liu Bei's demands.

Obviously it didn't go well, but it was worth a shot. And it's hard to overstate how weak it would have made Liu Bei look if he simply shrugged off the loss of Jing without a fight.

[7r0773r]

Sidetracks by Bei Dao, translated by Jeffrey Yang

V.

the eyes of the daughters and sons of the river are shining wilderness dazzling sunlight polishes the surface of the lake remembrances and bullets share this century mail trucks tumble along into the hour of lamplight prisoners dance in concentric circles of moonlight anxious stones pile up into mountains assault troops storm through the gates of the city's memories

tightening the toy's rusted mechanism licking the wounds of first love sprinkle a little salt let the two crickets fight in the innermost heart fruit pit spit out the secret of birth erase the comet tail on the blackboard the eyes of a cat chase after the festival of flowing water I ride the wooden horse of a carousel lost in thought

windmills churn thick clouds in the sky more people join the refugees' routes their languages create countless colors arise from the masks in the museum of humankind cooking smoke blends the hues of the blue twilight a priest prays in the shadow of a candle flame God lashes the city with lightning

O wanderer of the worn world folded within time along the horizon forest trees breathe thoughts dropped into a mailbox in an unfamiliar town the shadow of death takes flight on the road a perfect plate handcrafted artistry breaks free at last from the essence of things

waking up in the garret of the small hotel curtains flutter clear skies turn to clouds in the oil painting of the harbor no sails below the castle the din of the world surrounded by light and flags on the back of a picture postcard Chinese characters are the first informant

northward leads to a solitary pass how long is the tape reel of the deep night measuring the variable weather maps lovers climb through the balcony window on the table the fruit is ripening joining the ranks of insomniacs— winter flashes a smile

let the hand crutch of logic bloom no detour around the season of wheat don't bring along the baggage of a disquiet heart more deranged than a paperweight riding the waves history like the confessions of a suffering patient paces of light cross through the forest to a place more distant than thought

in a dream berries are screaming bidding farewell to the end of homesickness is morning finding the truth of the keyhole

***

VIII.

From 497 BCE to 484 BCE Confucius led his disciples on a fourteen-year journey through various states. In 493 BCE, separated from his disciples, he seated himself alone outside the east city gate of Zheng and stared into space.

your years near sixty setting sun white hair makes a brush tip shadow crooked as a flawed brushstroke points to the homeland east those children running against the backlight turn into pictographs and one by one practice the intonations dawn sets flight a flock of pigeons maps aren't for commemorating wars you turn to gaze at the cooking smoke and the well

days of wind chasing clouds the road tows awake the open sky on the mountains-and-rivers chessboard you play with the king inside the heart carefully trace the fortune in a palm step by step explore the path defeat always at your own hands disciples have dispersed dyeing twilight atop a flag post you are an audience of one

at fifteen devote myself to learning follow the transmission of the rites up the stone steps you rap the drums strike the chimes drink farewell wine at thirty steadfast at forty free of doubts sit and discuss the dao survey the stars at fifty perceive the will of heaven through the Changes of Zhou set foot in court shuttle forth in brocade clothes to the imperial baldachin in the vast palace hall emptiness you raise cups to summon the wind from eight directions

at sixty ears open and willing during the twilight of your life you hear dawn light whispering conspiracy accompanying the aristocracy of the age the palace sinks with the golden lamps you look back at the rolling mountains wholly absorbed with the tuning of the tones for three months not knowing the taste of meat history books send assassins on your trail to replace you with multiple shadows

at seventy do as my heart desires without exceeding the pattern begin with a single step and still change course the temple tolls the bell for you push back the four bare walls Apricot Altar is the nominal heart emperors bypass the Yellow River while supreme Mount Tai is humorless just as someone once described that stray dog mourning his lost home you speak well stop for a rest before rushing on the road outside the city through how many dynasties

***

XXIII.

peel the onions pepper crushed with reality place the turkey in the oven time set temperature November 24, 1994 Thanksgiving Day depart from San Francisco cross the prime meridian Bejing Capital Airport I line up behind the years little window of immigration the moon dons a military cap homesickness—electric plug connects to a power source and the internet locks my name my secret garden confiscated seeds of poetry

the covert guests finally arrive force me to utter my other name it is I a chain of enraged ancestors and the mountains refuse to answer any questions video recorder and tape recorder aimed at me written confession a starving blank sheet of paper the curtain of night opens my one-act play I wash chopsticks dishes behind the wood plank wall is the lawn the sun like a prisoner awaiting a death sentence

Colonel Zhang border control rusted smile gears grind for him to climb through a lifetime and from the corner of his mouth a flash of humanity I'm the lead in the play barebulb circling round and round in the whirlpool of night I sleepwalk— may the hour of existence spit out silk a self-spun cocoon more reliable than the universe my name leads to another name stage revolves I chase after me

soliloguy: a jailbreak in Chinese characters figures cast onto the heavenly canopy layer after layer I am silently reading my heartbeat at the boundary of semantic hostility local accent pursues an outsider prostrate on the table turbine engine bearing my half-asleep half-awake flight cockroaches underground intelligence agents follow the corners of the wall to pass on information from their superiors

dawn roar take off from the runway in accord with the standard breakfast of the armed police— congee steamed buns pickled vegetables boiled eggs two invisible men take turns watching me one is a lover of poetry a line of verse and the path of an official leading to the same destination 9:05 in the morning Beijing time the king and the horse formally declaim— I will be immediately deported from China

a large bus speeds onto the tarmac armed police step out of the vehicle clear the way for me in a black leather jacket to fight for the defeated accompanied by Colonel Zhang toward the airplane door photographed from a high angle in the waiting area tomorrow a blank space shadow retreats horizon rehearses the winter overture take a seat in the cabin Colonel Zhang gives me a firm handshake liquid mercury streams down the porthole window

***

XXVI.

at the morgue Laughlin identifies Dylan Thomas's corpse a semiliterate young girl confirms it— "he wrote poems" mad Dylan a flock of pigeons sets the church spinning

by the sea's side hear the dark-vowelled birds

gold sand fills the hourglass— a time of terror constantly shifting waves of stocks and shares catch up with the shipwrecked sliver of moon no one signs graffiti or petroglyphs keep climbing from the artist's life to freefall Manhattan honking band funeral march for the Hudson River

l open an umbrella to survive the backward descent

someone with a hangover blows open a morning glory silent film in slow-motion walking in the opposite direction of history runs aground on the precipice of death books rise into towers crossing through the tunnel of language there's no exit

Eliot my birthyear brother different cradles unfamiliar ocean we meet by chance on Turtle Island the wild winds in his books let me drift and moor in the four directions shadows slant chasing after the noonday of myths

catch the last stop before the final parting

riding the noon train out to Long Island open the New York Times upside down the world obscured by another type of language I dream about the lions at the Beijing Zoo the first day of class English the executioner's ax so bitingly cold Chinese somehow still in the brain

at Stony Brook meet C. N. Yang one-on-one tutorials the blind man leading the bright-eyed poetry manufacturing at the end of the assembly line— bedroom mirror crack open the language vault walk the dog but don't forget to bring yourself along

days flap away symposium for Chinese writers in exile Eliot moderates Octavio and Marie-José Paz in the audience we eat dinner together candle flames three-language carousel Tiananmen Cold War American politics and literature concerning Neruda's odes to Stalin Paz shakes his head— "transgressed political and ethical principles"

I pursue someone, he tumbles, gets back up again, sees me and says, No one

China Independent Film Festival opening ceremony saxophone dives into the night uncovers a stream using words to fish reel in the comet beyond imagination the audience enters a space larger than light heavy snowfall weight of nothingness skip stones on the reflecting pool at Lincoln Center and dignity more important than a failed cause

a clenched fist suddenly sets metaphor free

after the explosion two women survivors stagger out of the movie screen naked toward an actress neighbor they borrow clothes go into hiding the times and the undercurrent—Weathermen forever young they are the wind describe the shape of the wind

you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows

[lunarriviera]

new year's letter from halan, january 1998

dear everyone, hello, it is i, captain zheng bei of the halan public safety bureau anti-narcotics task force. things are going well however there have been a few challenges this winter so i thought i would take this opportunity to update you on our progress here in halan.

first of all there's xiaoguang and nan nan. everyone is really happy that xiaoguang sat up again and started talking and getting better, me most of all. i might have cried a little and i definitely hit him. the weird thing is he speaks exclusively cantonese now and we're not sure why but hopefully nan nan's cantonese will get better so they can communicate. gu yiran says it doesn't really matter because they could never actually communicate in the first place and i don't want to say gu yiran is right but just in this one specific instance he might have a point. anyway nan nan seems happy and they sing a lot. and make other noises as well but we aren't going to talk about those.

zhang xueyao is also doing well, she has some kind of boyfriend but she won't let us meet him and i find that somewhat distressing. i'm worried if he is ugly or maybe has two heads. or what if he's really tiny. maybe he's only like 150 cm tall and she just beats him up all the time, something that would not be good for a police officer to do. on the other hand she seems a lot calmer and doesn't chase guozhu around the office anymore trying to kick him, so i guess it's been good for her. again gu yiran claims that the boyfriend is probably completely normal and just afraid of us but i don't know why that would be true. we're only cops, there's nothing scary about any of us?

ding guozhu has not changed in any way whatsoever, he has knitted eight sweaters this winter and at this rate the only one of us who doesn't have a sweater is me. that's because i don't wear sweaters because i never get cold. i only wear t-shirts even when it's -30ºC which it is right now. gu yiran on the other hand is wearing three sweaters at this very moment in his lab but i can still hear him bitching. i told him when he wears three sweaters at once he looks fat and he told me my head is fat. i told him his head is stupid and he looks stupid and then he told me i am an unmitigated idiot and then we wound up in a supply closet in the hallway and then some other stuff happened. when we came out of the supply closet somehow i was wearing one of guozhu's sweaters. surprisingly it is very soft and kind of nice, and guozhu made it red, my favorite color, and tried to give it to me so maybe i will keep it after all.

then there's uncle. he went on vacation with his granddaughter to hangzhou and they never came back. i think he likes it there, he keeps sending us photos of them by the lake eating sugar pastry in shirt sleeves and smiling. we have all started using email now and uncle likes it the most because he says he doesn't have to waste money on postage anymore. gu yiran tried to explain to him that electricity and telephone usage also cost money but uncle says he's already paid for those so it doesn't count. anyway he keeps sending very large photos that clog up the office inbox for several hours while they download. sometimes there's a lady in the photos, i keep asking him who that is but he never answers. gu yiran says when he feels like telling us about her, he will. here's an old picture of him with gu yiran because it's how i like to think of him, still here with us.

ma and ba are fine and nan nan finally talked them into closing the restaurant one day a week to take some rest. they are saying they might go visit uncle in the spring, or go to shanghai. they are a little bit upset that gu yiran and i moved out, but they also like having nan nan out of their apartment so that worked out okay after all.

i guess that's the big news, that gu yiran and i moved to a new place. it was sad to leave the building but after the incident with the wall we figured it was probably time. i explained to ma and ba how the hole was only an accident but it was still a very big hole so they were right to be upset, we all worked very hard one weekend to tear the wall down and replace it with a better one. the hole wouldn't even have happened if gu yiran and i hadn't had a fight, but we did, and then we weren't speaking so he went home to do his experiment in the apartment instead of in the lab, and there was sort of an explosion. but it was really my fault, because if i hadn't called him an arrogant cocksucker we wouldn't have fought. on the other hand if he hadn't gone after six drug dealers in the chicken van by himself with nothing but a baseball bat and some sock bombs then i probably wouldn't have called him that. so i guess maybe we were both to blame.

the good news is our new apartment is very solid and sturdy, we found this out on the first night when we walked in the front door and gu yiran threw me bodily up against the wall and proceeded to [redacted] me. he says that as a true scientist he has to keep conducting ongoing tests to ensure the structural integrity of our domicile and i'm not entirely sure what that means but as long as he keeps slamming me up against things honestly does it really matter.

here he is studying and looking very handsome and also cute. when he catches me taking photos of him studying, he hits me and tries to get the camera away from me, i don't mind because when he starts hitting me it's sort of funny and also easy to tickle him. it turns out gu yiran is very ticklish, and when he starts laughing and his glasses fall off and his hair gets messed up he looks even cuter and then we usually forget about studying or taking pictures or hitting or tickling.

well that's about all the news from halan. there are always new drugs and new dealers trying to make money off them so we stay pretty busy. director gao says i can't say anymore about that because it's official police business but i will tell you that even though we have a new office and a bunch of new recruits from the academy, i still miss the old cafeteria, and uncle bringing noodles and bao for the team.

PS gu yiran says he wants to get a cat. at first i wasn't sure it was a good idea considering his track record with houseplants, but then i thought about it and decided i don't mind being the one who mostly takes care of the cat. after all i do a pretty good job with xiao ran.

[dhappyorangec]

Airport 1001 leaves: Zheng YeCheng tells fans to speed up, counting 1-2, 1-2! Fan's clip says he should cosplay Li Xinyun's steps/pace and gift us a Lu FengPing cosplay too since his hair is getting longer.

"Don't always rush the fans to move faster.

A real man's words are hard to take back.

Move your own footsteps faster when cosplaying Li Xingyun.

By the way, while you're at it, why not gift us a Lu Fengping hairstyle? [Blushing]"

别总是催粉丝脚步快一点

大丈夫一言既出驷马难追

自己COS李星云的脚步也快一点

顺便趁着发型再赠送我们一个陆风平呗[羞嗒嗒]

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https://video.weibo.com/show?fid=1034:5017347040411672

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Learn Chinese:

1. 别 (bié) - Don't

2. 总是 (zǒng shì) - Always

3. 催 (cuī) - Urge, rush

4. 粉丝 (fěn sī) - Fans

5. 脚步 (jiǎo bù) - Footsteps

6. 快一点 (kuài yī diǎn) - Faster

7. 大丈夫 (dà zhàng fu) - A real man, man of character

8. 一言既出 (yī yán jì chū) - Once the words are spoken (idiom)

9. 驷马难追 (sì mǎ nán zhuī) - Like trying to chase after a galloping horse (idiom)

10. 自己 (zì jǐ) - Oneself

11. COS (cōs) - Cosplay

12. 李星云 (Lǐ Xīngyún) - Li Xingyun (a character or a person's name)

13. 顺便 (shùn biàn) - By the way

14. 趁着 (chèn zhe) - While

15. 发型 (fà xíng) - Hairstyle

16. 再 (zài) - Again

17. 赠送 (zèng sòng) - Gift, present

18. 我们 (wǒ men) - Us, we

19. 一个 (yī gè) - One

20. 陆风平 (Lù Fēngpíng) - Lu Fengping (a character or a person's name)

21. 呗 (bei) - Used to suggest something or request confirmation (informal)

22. 羞嗒嗒 (xiū dā dā) - Blushing (onomatopoeia)

[hideyseek]

man ... shoutout to shitty drafts for real .... i just went from this:

When they arrive at the precinct, Zheng Bei slows his footsteps as they come to the entry stairwell, and when Gu Yiran turns to him, Zheng Bei waves at him and says, “Go on ahead.” “I’ll wait for you,” Gu Yiran says, one foot on the first stair. “It’s no problem.” “Don’t worry about it,” Zheng Bei says, voice taut. He says, firmly, “I’ll see you upstairs.” Gu Yiran goes.

to this:

At the foot of the stairs heading up to the precinct, Zheng Bei stops and says, voice faintly strained, “Gu-laoshi, you can go in first. I have something to do.” Gu Yiran puts his hand in his pocket, feels the ridged cap of the bottle of painkillers. “What’s wrong?”  “Don’t worry about it,” Zheng Bei says. There’s an odd set to his face, a look in his eyes like he’s getting ready to brace for something unpleasant. “I just need a moment.”  “I can wait,” Gu Yiran offers.  “I said, don’t worry about it,” Zheng Bei says, firm. “I’ll see you upstairs. Go on.” Gu Yiran frowns at him for a long, searching moment, but when Zheng Bei only jerks his chin/head at the entrance, Gu Yiran sets his jaw, and goes.

like just in a single rewrite, many beautiful changes! details, analysis, and thinking under the readmore:

comparing these two versions, in the second version:

zheng bei's hesitating action / the "inciting incident" to the exchange is stronger (slowing his steps vs stopping outright)

there's more escalation in the conversation (rather than a single exchange, there're three beats of back-and-forth, and zheng bei gets firmer with each one)

gu yiran's character is more defined (in the second we get to see gu yiran push back out of concern, and in the second and gu yiran only goes (mulishly) out of accepting zheng bei's request, rather than out of following orders as we see in the first)

this is one of the technique things i'm really trying to work on at the moment, this skill of more ... intentional revision. when i first started incorporating revision into my writing process (about a year ago? dec 2023?) i was going off of vibes a lot more, and was working more off of "what feels wrong about this scene? what don't i like?" and while that is something i still think is very valuable to be able to do, for me it often feels kind of intangible. and when i am (somewhat inevitably) in the horrible slog of revision (especially for a fic like this one which began as 3k and has grown to quite a bit longer and more complex), it is much harder for me to keep track of my progress and feel that i'm still working toward what i consider "good" writing (compelling, specific language that sounds smooth when read aloud + story structure that clearly demonstrates causation to move the story forward, and story beats that are consistently escalating). so i'm practicing putting the specific changes to language a little more clearly now, in the hopes that if i practice this enough, it will reinforce the ways in which i can concretely "improve" a piece of writing, and help me slowly develop a sense of how to identify forward motion in revision even when i still look ahead and know that there are 2-3 drafts before i get to a story that i'm really satisfied with.

[lunarriviera]

PRU I FINISHED IT TONIGHT (so i was finally able to read your post which is blisteringly accurate and also funny af). THE SHEER NUMBER OF TIMES I JUST STOPPED BREATHING DURING THE LAST HALF DOZEN EPISODES. HOW DESTROYED I AM.

first of all 1) zhang yimou we're fighting, even though you threw your whole snatch into producing this drama and it shows, i haven't seen this kind of attention to period detail maybe ever. i feel like i just spent 30 hours in 1997 dongbei. then also next 2) i desperately need fic where zhang bei and gu yiran cuddle for a entire week. no one gets out of the [slightly] larger bed except to pee or retrieve more chicken ribs. and/or they leave fake harbin and go on vacation with uncle and his granddaughter. finally 3) fuck me that was ABSOLUTELY HARROWING. why did i think this drama was like under the skin??? it was NOTHING LIKE under the skin, at no point during under the skin do you actually believe the entire team is about to be BLOWN THE FUCK UP. i will be more articulate about all this later but it's after 1 am so for now i will remark only that zhang yu absolutely CRUSHED it, one of the best television performances i've ever witnessed. how is he 41??? why isn't he james bond already???

[period-typical MALE CHINESE POLICE OFFICERS, BEING MALE]

in conclusion i want them to get married and always live in the dreary black-painted apartment and have babies and name at least one after [redacted]. and through the power of transformative works i can have this. eventually. even though it's too late for yuletide this year. (PS that goddamn toothbrush mug i swear to god i nearly cried)

(PPS still bewildered by meth hotel towels. like, how. just...HOW)

(PPPS zheng bei's little purse? his purse is in every scene?? his purse where he keeps HIS GUN, I LOVE THAT PURSE)

I really doubt anybody on Tumblr is watching but The First Shot or 雪迷宫 is making me LOSE MY MIND. I’m on episode like 10 and just yelled WHAT IN THE LANYU IS HAPPENING HERE IN 1997 DONGBEI. The first and second male leads are the dude from Addicted and the guy who plays all the mean cold CEOs and also was in Imperial Coroner. They live together and somewhere in the next four eps someone is getting kidnapped by drug dealers and tortured and handsome rough northern drug cop from Addicted is going to princess carry his six foot tall delicate southern nerd wife. This show is produced by Zhang Yimou and is ruining my life.