#Yuk Yuks

[oldshowbiz]

January 1981.

[devicfotos]

tom green

[deecotan]

classic dad joke

[fordhampr]

"LIVE FROM THE POOL DECK" INTERVIEW WITH CANADIAN COMEDY ICON, EVAN CARTER

EVAN CARTER is one of my all-time favourite comedians. When I worked as agent for Toronto’s Yuk Yuk’s Komedy Klub back in the 80s, he was my go-to guy for corporate gigs when the client required a clean comic, and he was a brilliant MC for in-house shows as well as gigs across the country – Evan was always reliable and could deliver the goods no matter who the audience may be. Back then, record…

[trueebeauty]

“Are you afraid of me?”

Are you afraid of them? - lookism men

“You wish.”

Honestly, they wished you were afraid of them sometimes. Then maybe you could see how they weren’t good for you. But then again, they were relieved you weren't afraid. It meant you trusted them, and that trust meant everything to them.

"Ouch, sorry to disappoint. I'll try to be more terrifying next time.”

𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐉𝐈 𝐘𝐔𝐊 - 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐈 - 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐎 𝐌𝐀 

“Sometimes.”

And could they even blame you for that? They scared themselves at times too. Their actions or words occasionally made them question their own intentions or motivations. They understand.

silence, an intense look

 𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐆 - 𝐑𝐘𝐔𝐇𝐄𝐈 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐀 - 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 - 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆  

“Why would I?”

The pure confusion on your face makes their heart flutter with joy. The thought that you can't fathom any reason to be afraid of them softens their features into a warm smile.

warm smile "You know me better than that." 

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐋 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 - 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐍 - 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐌 - 𝐙𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐋𝐄𝐄 - 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 - 𝐉𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆 (everyone listed here is a GREEN FLAG)

“Should I be afraid?”

Good question... Should you be afraid of them? It's not an easy question to answer. They know they can be intimidating at times, even if they don't intend to be.

considers for a long moment "Sometimes I'm not sure myself."

𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 - 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐍 - 𝐄𝐋𝐈 𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐆 - 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐍𝐀 - 𝐉𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐊 

“You should be.”

𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐎 - 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐁 𝐉𝐈 - 𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐍

( + the ‘yOu ShOuLd bE’ : 𝐄𝐔𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄 - 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐁𝐀𝐄𝐊 )

“Nah. You’re a big softie.”

You're absolutely right. They don't even know why they asked such a question. Despite their attempts to come across as tough or intimidating at times, deep down they're quite gentle and kind-hearted.

smiles tenderly "Only for you."

 𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐄 - 𝐉𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐊𝐖𝐎𝐍 - 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 - 𝐉𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐎𝐌 𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐊 - 𝐉𝐈𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐊 - 𝐇𝐔𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐇𝐍 ( + dare I say : 𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐍 )

“Yeah. I mean, kinda. No... Definitely.”

Definitely. You should run for the hills when it comes to them. Their words and actions are unpredictable and even dangerous at times. Being afraid of them is a completely understandable response. 

nods solemnly "Smart move. The real me is best avoided."

𝐆𝐔𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 - 𝐆𝐎𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐌 - 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐄𝐄 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 - 𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐌 - 𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐎 - 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐉𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐍 ( aka - THE RED FLAGS)

"I'm working on it, I swear. This isn't who I want to be..."

𝐆𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐊𝐈𝐌 - 𝐄𝐋𝐈 𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐆 - 𝐘𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆

[capriccio-ffxiv]

I strongly prefer it when the Scions *don't* have Ancient counterparts.

I think it means more if they're part of the new souls born to the star either after Zodiark's first summoning or after the Sundering. Which is a whole thing!

Importantly, those were the souls that the Convocation were going to sacrifice to Zodiark to bring back the Ancients they lost.

To me, I think it's vastly important that G'raha, Y'shtola, Urianger, Thancred, the twins, that all of them are people Emet-Selch would throw away without a second thought. That to him, you're the only one worth half a damn... And broken as you are, only half a damn. And before he lets himself accept that you really are what's left of Azem, you're just someone else he's convinced isn't a person.

But I think these are the very souls Azem left the Convocation to save, even if Azem still didn't want to break the world. And these are the souls that Venat and the Twelve did break the world to save.

To me that's so much more important than any reincarnation romance (much as I adore that kind of story too). That to Azem and to you, these people matter anyway.

[bubbless-s]

Can you please write dating headcanons for Gun park, 𝐉ichang 𝐊wak and 𝐒eongji 𝐘uk? Thank you ❤️

↳-Dating hc for Gun Park,Jichang Kwak and Seongji Yuk-༉‧₊˚✧

-ʚɞ warnings: none

-ʚɞ genre: fluff, slightly suggestive/nsfw

-ʚɞ a/n: reader is gn

Masterlist

Gun Park

✧ Spoils you rotten.

✧ Legit buys you whatever you want.

✧ Knows exactly how you like your coffee. You don’t like coffee? He will get you hot chocolate instead.

✧ Slightly over protective of you. (Not very slightly actually big over protective.)

✧ God forbid someone made you uncomfortable. Instant death.

✧ Dates would include going to fancy restaurants.

✧ Secretly likes getting his hair played with.

✧ You guys would also occasionally shower together.

✧ Really really likes seeing you in his clothes.

✧ Secretly has forehead pictures of you.

✧ After the deed lovemaking he doesn’t fall asleep till you do

Jichang Kwak

⭒ You guys have matching pijamas.

⭒ That man genuinely doesn’t know how to use emojis ‘someone just died 💀💀😭😭’

⭒ You said as a joke once ‘smoke a cigarette today and I will top you next time during..’ then magically he didn’t smoke for a whole week.

⭒ Loves LOVESSS you holding his pinkie.

⭒ Puts his glasses on you during yk.

⭒ Makes you clean his glasses.

⭒ I feel like if he is gifting you something it would be jewelry.

⭒ Also if you prefer a specific brand do not send him to buy it to you. He WILL buy the wrong thing.

⭒ Dates would include fishing together or star glazing during a picnic.

⭒ You cook (if you want to) or he orders something. lazy ass

⭒ Not ashamed to tie your shoes.

Seongji Yuk

𖦹 He makes you tanghulu candy.

𖦹 Matching wallpapers.does he have a phone?

𖦹 Dates would include building blanket forts together!

𖦹 ‘What else can them fingers do?’ (A lot)

𖦹 Doesn’t really know how to show his affection so he might hug you out of the blue.

𖦹 After he gets used to you, he’s very clingy.

𖦹 Kiss his fingers pls :( as return he will kiss your forehead or chin.

𖦹 Loves when you put your head on his shoulder.

𖦹 Very very secretly a cuddle bug.

𖦹 Praises you infront of others A LOT.

𖦹 Giggles and smiles only around you.

[parakavka]

[redninjaaaaa]

the yapper:

the listener:

[sscarletvenus]

one thing about ptj's writing that always leaves a bad taste in my mouth is sometimes i feel he doesn't completely grasp the issues of abuse and sexual trauma, mostly and majorly for the female characters, but the male characters too.

take for example mira getting sexually assaulted by the cult leader and camp instructor, zoe's transaction with logan, club vivi, vin'mom being raped and killed by the shaman, sujin being abused and preyed upon and sexually assaulted before getting beaten to death by taejin... ALL of this feels so catatonic, almost unnecessary in its cruelty. this is a horrible world no doubt. but whatever he inflicts to his female characters seems to be done purely for the sake of shock value, almost like an indelible grief or hurt or helplessness a MALE character has to overcome in his path to nirvana. it is never shown what the woman feels about her own violation, no impact of it can be seen on her own life before she dies or simply forgets and moves on (kinda telling of the author's attitude towards how victims ought to react...).

then lets talk about the male victims. daniel gets stalked, goo and gun and eli were all minors who trained under a man who unironically touches people's genitals and brags about doing so, olly gets raped, eli gets groomed (i will not argue here about this one), sinu is shown naked often with the woman who brainwashed him. not mentioned in the comic but should be pondered upon is the fact that jake and jiho were in juvenile prison, a place with alarmingly high rates of sex crimes. dg is an idol who deals with invasive fans (sasaengs in real life are legitimately terrifying). seongji and vin were the ritual vessels for a cult. but this aspect of their trauma gets completely brushed under the rug, as if even alluding to it would take away from their strength and uhhh, masculine nature.

much to be thought about his treatment of his own characters...

[oldshowbiz]

worst comedian ever

[devicfotos]

[fordhampr]

THAT CANADIAN GUY, GLEN FOSTER, CELEBRATES 40 YEARS OF FUNNY!

Anyone who survives 40 years at the same job deserves a prize, and stand-up comic & writer GLEN FOSTER has certainly earned kudos and bravos for building and maintaining a career in the comedy business. Glen has been touring for the past four decades and has become a mainstay on the Canadian comedy circuit – he didn’t just work the road, he’s one of the comics who built it! His comedy is clever…

[trueebeauty]

- the kings + their problems

𝖩𝖨𝖢𝖧𝖠𝖭𝖦 𝖪𝖶𝖠𝖪 - ᴘᴀʀᴀɴᴏɪᴀ

The dimly lit apartment casted an eerie shadow over Jichang's tense features as he paced back and forth, his fingers twitching. 

Gitae Kim was definitely something… and it had left him on edge, his mind plagued with thoughts of potential danger lurking around every corner, worsened by the fresh bandage on his neck – a reminder of what he had barely escaped.

A soft knock at the door made Jichang freeze, his eyes widening ever so slightly as his gaze darted toward the sound. With a slight tremble in his hands, he approached the door cautiously, peering through the peephole with bated breath.

Relief washed over him when he spotted your familiar face on the other side. Quickly, he unlocked the door, ushering you inside with a forced smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Hey," you greeted, concern etched on your features as you took in his tense demeanor and the bandage peeking out from beneath his collar. "How are you holding up?"

Jichang forced a nonchalant shrug, but his eyes betrayed him, "Yeah, I'm fine," he lied, his voice wavering ever so slightly. "Just been a long day, you know?"

You stepped closer, gently brushing your fingers against the bandage on his neck. Jichang flinched at the sudden contact, his muscles taut, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he seemed to melt into your touch, craving the comfort and security you provided.

"Jichang," you murmured, your thumb rubbing soothing circles on the tense muscles of his neck. "You don't have to put up a brave front with me. Talk to me."

A tremor ran through Jichang's body as he exhaled a shaky breath, his walls slowly crumbling under your tender gaze. "I can't shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Ever since the run-in, I've been constantly on edge, waiting for something else to happen."

You pulled him into a warm embrace, your fingers combing through his hair in a calming motion while your other hand continued to soothe the tension in his neck. "I'm here now," you whispered, your lips brushing against his cheek. "You're safe here, Jichang. We won't let anything happen to you."

Jichang leaned into your embrace, his rigid posture gradually relaxing as he allowed himself to bask in your presence. His trembling subsided, and his racing heartbeat slowed to a steady rhythm, lulled by your gentle voice and the caress of your touch.

𝖲𝖤𝖮𝖭𝖦𝖩𝖨 𝖸𝖴𝖪 - ᴜɴᴡᴏʀᴛʜɪɴᴇꜱꜱ 

The sweet aroma of simmering sugar filled the air as Seongji and you worked side by side, carefully threading sugar on top of the strawberries.

A playful grin tugged at your lips as you nudged Seongji's shoulder, earning you a mock-offended gasp from him.

"Hey, watch it! You're going to make me mess up," Seongji chided.

"Oh, please, like yours could ever be anything less than perfect," you teased.

Seongji rolled his eyes, but the faint blush dusting his cheeks betrayed his pleasure at your compliment. As you reached for another skewer, your movements slowed, his gaze fixating on your hand – your perfectly normal, five-fingered hand.

A pang of insecurity flickered in his chest, and he quickly averted his eyes, turning his attention back to the simmering pot of sugar. But as he stirred, his mind wandered, dwelling on the differences between the two of you.

You were the complete opposite of him.

You were kind, loving, compassionate, open, and definitely more social.

He was cold, distrusting, introverted, he hated people (minus the children that you call **your nickname for them**).

"Who could ever love someone like me?" he thought, his brow furrowing as self-doubt crept in.

So lost in his troubled musings, Seongji failed to notice the splattering of hot sugar until a droplet landed on your hand, eliciting a hiss of pain from you.

"Ouch! Seongji, the pot!" you exclaimed, quickly grabbing a towel and wiping the sugar from your hand.

Seongji's head snapped up, his eyes widening as he realized the sugar had begun to burn and without thinking, he reached for the pot.

"Seongji, wait!" you cried out, but it was too late. He grasped the handle of the hot pot, and a pained hiss escaped his lips as the searing heat made contact with his hand.

Quickly, you grabbed your towel and wrapped it around your hand before carefully removing the pot from the heat and setting it aside. Your heart raced with concern as you rushed back to Seongji's side, gently cradling his injured hand in yours.

"Oh, Seongji," you murmured, your voice laced with worry as you examined the angry red burn marring his skin.

Seongji remained silent, his body tense as he watched you tenderly care for his wound. He couldn't comprehend why you were fussing over him, why you weren't repulsed.

"How can you stand to look at me, let alone touch me?" he whispered, his voice thick with self-loathing.

Your heart ached at the pain lacing his words, and you gently took his hand in yours, cradling it with the utmost tenderness. "Seongji, you are not a monster," you said firmly, your thumb caressing the extra digits with awe. "This is a part of you, and it's beautiful."

Seongji's eyes widened, a flicker of disbelief flickering across his features. "But—"

You shook your head vehemently, not letting him finish his sentence, leaning forward to press a featherlight kiss to each of his fingertips, cherishing every inch of his being. "You are perfect, just as you are."

Tears welled up in Seongji's eyes, but for the first time in a long while, they weren't born of anguish. Instead, they were tears of relief and acceptance.

"How did I get so lucky?" he whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he gazed at you with adoration.

You smiled warmly, intertwining your fingers with his uninjured hand. "I'm the lucky one. And I'll spend every day reminding you of how truly special and loved you are if that's what it takes."

Seongji's lips curved into a genuine smile, gently, he raised your hand to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to the exact spot where the sugar had burned you earlier.

"Thank you," he murmured, his eyes filled with gratitude and love. "For seeing me, for loving me, for everything."

𝖳𝖠𝖤𝖲𝖮𝖮 𝖬𝖠 - ᴠɪɴᴅɪᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ 

Taesoo Ma's muscles ached with fatigue as he unleashed a flurry of punches against the sturdy trunk of a pine tree. His knuckles stung with each impact, but the physical pain was a mere distraction from the burning rage that consumed him.

"That bastard," he growled through gritted teeth, his voice dripping with venom as he punched away at the stubborn tree. "I'll make you pay for everything you've done."

Taesoo had bought this secluded mountain property for hunting purposes, but it just turned into a place to train and hone his skills until he was ready for his rematch.

But as the days turned into weeks, his thirst for vengeance had morphed into an all-consuming obsession, driving him to push himself to the brink of exhaustion.

The sound of a tent flap unzipping behind him barely registered in Taesoo's mind, consumed as he was by his relentless assault on the tree. It wasn't until a familiar voice called out to him that he finally paused, chest heaving with exertion.

"Taesoo? Have you been out here all night?" you asked, concern lacing your tone as you took in his disheveled appearance.

Taesoo wiped the sweat from his brow, offering you a tired smile. "I lost track of time."

You frowned, crossing the clearing to stand closer to him. "You're going to run yourself into the ground at this rate," you chided gently, reaching out to cradle his bruised knuckles in your hands, your gaze lingering on the eye patch covering his missing eye.

Taesoo tensed, his good eye narrowing as he turned his head away, shielding himself from your view. He braced himself for the inevitable look of pity or disgust, but it never came.

Instead, you gently cupped his cheek, turning his face back towards you with a tender touch. "Hey," you murmured, your voice soft and reassuring. "You don't have to hide from me."

Before Taesoo could protest, you pulled him into a warm embrace, your arms wrapping around him as you rested your cheek against his chest. "I'm here, Taesoo. All of you. The scars, the pain, the anger – I'll carry it all with you."

"I have to get stronger," he murmured, his voice laced with determination. "I can't let him get away with what he did to me, to the others."

Your heart ached at the pain etched into his features, and you gently guided him towards a nearby fallen log, coaxing him to sit down beside you.

"Taesoo, you're already one of the strongest people I know," you said earnestly, your thumb tracing soothing circles over his calloused knuckles. "But strength alone won't be enough to defeat someone like James Lee."

Taesoo's brow furrowed, a flicker of doubt crossing his features. "Then what else is there?"

You offered him a soft smile, "You need to take care of yourself, too," you murmured. "Pushing yourself to the brink of exhaustion won't do you any good in the long run."

Taesoo let out a weary sigh, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the world rested upon them. "I just... I can't let him win. Not after what he's taken from me."

"And he won't," you assured him, your fingers gently carding through his hair. "But you need to trust that you'll be ready when the time comes. For now, focus on your own well-being. Let me take care of you."

A flicker of vulnerability flickered across Taesoo's face, but he didn't shy away from your tender touch. Instead, he leaned into your embrace, "I don't know what I did to deserve you," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

You pressed a featherlight kiss to his temple, your arms wrapping around him in a comforting embrace. "You deserve the world, Taesoo. And I'll be right here, every step of the way, reminding you of that."

𝖩𝖠𝖤𝖦𝖸𝖤𝖮𝖭 𝖭𝖠 -  ᴍᴀᴛᴇʀɪᴀʟɪꜱᴛɪᴄ

The roar of a powerful engine echoed through the bustling streets as Jaegyeon Na pulled up in yet another sleek, high-end sports car. His face was alight with childlike glee as he stepped out of the driver's seat, running his hands along the pristine exterior with joy.

"Isn't she a beauty?" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with uncontrolled enthusiasm.

A soft sigh escaped your lips as you approached him, a small frown tugging at the corners of your mouth. "Jaegyeon, didn't you just buy a new car last month?"

Jaegyeon's grin faltered slightly at your scolding tone, but he quickly recovered, waving a dismissive hand. "Ah, that old thing? It was starting to feel a bit dated, you know how it is."

You arched an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest. "No, Jaegyeon, I don't know how it is. You can't keep going through cars like this. It's a colossal waste of money."

Jaegyeon's pout deepened, his lower lip jutting out in an exaggerated display of grumpiness. "But, I take good care of my cars! It's not my fault that they get... a little scratched up now and then."

You fixed him with a pointed look, recalling the numerous instances of Jaegyeon's "minor scratches" turning into full-blown dents and shattered windshields. "Jaegyeon, you need to stop damaging your cars. This habit of yours is getting out of hand."

Jaegyeon's shoulders slumped, and he kicked at an imaginary pebble on the ground, his expression almost comically dejected. "It's not like I mean to wreck them," he mumbled, his voice tinged with disappointment.

Your heart softened at the genuine sadness in his tone, and you stepped closer, gently cupping his cheek in your hand. "I know, Jaegyeon. But you have to drive carefully, especially ones as expensive as these cars."

Jaegyeon leaned into your touch, his eyes searching yours for understanding. "I do, I just get so caught up in the thrill of driving, you know? And besides half the time, someone else breaks it."

You couldn't help but smile, even as you shook your head in exasperated fondness. "I know, but that's no excuse for recklessness. Promise me you'll take better care of this one?"

A slow grin spread across Jaegyeon's face, and he nodded eagerly. "I promise. No more scratches, dents, or shattered windshields. Scout's honor!"

You chuckled, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Somehow, I doubt you were ever a scout, but I'll take your word for it."

Jaegyeon beamed, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. "You know, you're the best."

You rolled your eyes playfully but returned his embrace with equal warmth anyways.

𝖦𝖮𝖭𝖦𝖲𝖤𝖮𝖡 𝖩𝖨 - ɪᴍᴘᴜʟꜱɪᴠᴇ

Gongseob Ji let out a triumphant whoop as his opponent crumpled to the ground, knocked out cold. He puffed out his chest, reveling in his victory, when a sudden urge struck him – an impulsive desire to assert his dominance even further.

Hands immediately unzipping his zipper, just as he was about to act on that ill-advised impulse, a familiar voice cut through the haze of adrenaline.

"Gongseob Ji, don't you dare!" you exclaimed, rushing towards him with a look of sheer disgust engraved on your face.

Gongseob froze, his eyes widening as you grabbed him by the ear, tugging him away from the unconscious figure on the ground.

"Ow, ow, ow! [Your Name], what gives?" he protested, wincing at the firm grip you had on his ear.

You fixed him with a stern look, your free hand reaching to his zipper, pulling it up. "You know exactly what gives, Gongseob. Don't even try to play innocent with me."

Gongseob pouted, his bravado deflating under your disapproving gaze. "But I won fair and square! I was just going to celebrate a little."

You arched an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by his justification. "By peeing on your opponent? Yeah, that's not happening."

Gongseob's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and he averted his gaze, mumbling under his breath. "Well, when you put it like that..."

Your expression softened, and you released his ear, opting instead to gently cup his face in your hands. "Gongseob, you're an amazing fighter, but you can't just do that. It's disrespectful and frankly, a bit gross."

Gongseob's shoulders slumped, and he leaned into your touch, his eyes full of remorse. "You're right, I got carried away again, didn't I?"

You smiled softly, brushing his braid to the back. "It's okay, Just remember, true strength isn't about showing off or humiliating others. It's about having the discipline and self-control to use your abilities responsibly."

Gongseob nodded, his lips quirking into a lopsided grin. "You always know just what to say, don't you?"

You chuckled, linking your arm through his as you guided him away from the scene. "Someone has to keep that impulsive streak of yours in check, Mr. Hotshot Fighter."

[wannaeatramyeon]

Seongji Yuk x Reader: Tanghulu

G/N. Sweet, so tooth rottingly sweet. Childhood friends to... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Syrup glaze on sun ripened fruits. Sugar on sugar. A concoction that can only be dreamt of by children.

"Want one?" You thrust the treat, a row of skewered candied strawberries, into the Offering's palm.

Six fingers grip around the wooden stick. Brings it up to his nose, giving it a cautious sniff, before tugging a piece of fruit into his mouth with his canines.

"Good, right? They're my favourite."

He chews once then pulls a face as the crunchy sweetness bursts onto his tongue. "Too sweet."

.

.

Everyone knows who the offering, the sacrifice is, but few know his name.

Seongji Yuk.

Not monster, or freak, or whatever the cruel children and adults call out to him.

You only know him as Seongji, rough around the edges but sweet (deep down) like the tanghulu you love.

He knows you as the first person that showed him kindness, friendship in the form of syrupy fruits, without wanting anything in return.

.

.

Seongji finds solace and freedom on the mountain, peace away from the Child God, grows tall and muscular and impossibly strong.

…Acquires a taste for tanghulu.

Tells the few that ask that he thinks they will be a trend soon. He's just getting ahead of the curve.

But the truth is: he knows that your taste has never changed.

You pluck the fresh tanghulu from his grip. He grumbles as he always does, and tosses an unimpressed look your way.

Yet his grip had already slackened. Doesn't think about your fingers brushing his. How he chooses your favourite fruits, prepares it the way you like, mastered it over the years, again and again and again.

"You're the best!"  You tell him, skewer poking out between your lips.

Seongji smiles, small but sweet. Like the tanghulu you love, made just for you.

[thefiery-phoenix]

YANDERE SEONGJI YUK HEADCANONS

After he escaped from the grasp of the Shaman and from the Cheonlinag village, he found his solace by himself on the mountain and felt at peace till is peace got disrupted by a ragtag group of unruly teenagers who thought of him as their teacher and decided to stick around him who called themselves the Cheonliang family. Finding love was the LAST thing he ever had on his mind, he was born with an extra finger in his hand and foot was supposedly destined to be the Yaksha for that brat of a Shaman's son Taejin till he decided to say screw it and wanted to forge his own path. For a long time it was just him and the annoying teenagers till you stumbled upon his mountain 

It was the night time and the peace and serenity of the night was disrupted by you, whose soft sobs and sniffles echoed through the atmosphere of the night. Seongji came out of his cave slightly annoyed at first that someone was on the mountain but when his eyes landed on you with your tears streaming down your pretty face, your hair strands falling on your face and your hair gently billowing in the gentle breeze as your shirt was almost half torn, his expression softened. You made him feel something, more than he'd ever like to admit. You made him feel something warm...he felt like there was a warm fire lit at the bottom of his stomach and it was a feeling he couldn't explain. However his feelings were something to be bothered about later, right now he felt the urge to comfort you

He strode over to you slowly to not scare you off as he looked at you with a slight frown on his face. Silently without saying anything, his thumb gently brushed against your cheek and wiped your tear as he wrapped his jacket around you. "Why are you so upset...little things like you shouldn't be crying alone this late in the night'' he said as he surveyed your features with his calculating gaze. As you told him the story of how the Shaman almost tried to assault you and tried to rip your clothes off till you escaped from him and he'd sent the members of the Yamazaki clan to get you back, Seongji's eyes narrowed in anger. He felt his rage building up and he wanted nothing more than to just slam that conman of a Shaman's face into a bricked wall and rip out his damn eyes with his Tanghulu rods

He took you to an area where the other students were busy chatting with each other and you spotted five guys wearing sunglasses and the same jackets in the red and black and white colors, a chubby girl with glasses and blonde hair in a judo uniform and another girl with raven hair and was slightly younger than the rest of them. "Oh, someone new, hello" said the blonde chubby girl as she introduced herself as Mary Kim. "We can see she's new dumbass elephant'' said another guy as he scoffed and rolled his eyes as Mary and the guy started bickering with each other. A guy leaned in towards you with a friendly smile on his face. "Sorry about them, they're always like that. The guy she's arguing with is Vinjin by the way, he used to be a sacrifice before our teacher saved him'' said the guy to you as he introduced himself as Jaewoo to you. "Shut up, I could fight on my own you know'' said Vinjin. "Last I remember you started crying and begged me to save you...correct me if I'm wrong and also, I'm not your teacher, you kids really don't have anything better to do in your lives...'' said Seongji as a slight amused smirk formed on his face as Vinjin instantly shut up and grumbled under his breath 

You were introduced to the other people as well such as Taebong, Hyungjae, Wooseok and Sujin. Seongji sneaked a few glances at you every now and then as he looked at your nervous behavior. You reminded him of a scared little animal, he found it endearing actually. He handed you a plate of food and when you politely tried to refuse him, his eyes narrowed at you. "Eat. I can see you're exhausted, don't give me all that being polite crap'' he said in a stern tone as he handed you the plate. You started staying with the Cheonliang family after that and grew rather close to them. The first time when you fell asleep, he took in your features and he knew he was staring at you like an idiot but he couldn't help it. You looked so... peaceful and innocent. You did not deserve to go through whatever happened to you. Something in him urged him to protect you and keep you safe and maybe stab the Shaman in the eye one day 

Overtime you'll start to realize his feelings for you would become possessive. He realizes his feelings for you are spinning out of control but does he care? Of course not, he wants to keep you safe. However it starts off slowly. He doesn't want you going into the village anymore since he's worried someone might take you away. You're always to be under his gaze where he can keep an eye on you. He'd be damned if Shigeaki Kojima and his lapdogs take you away from him. At first he tries to shove his feelings inside for you deep down. But when you spot him brooding over his thoughts and when you comfort him and hold his rough calloused hands in your ones, it takes him all his self control to not hug you. He's never had anyone compliment his fingers, he was always viewed as a monster. His mind went into a literal overdrive as he slightly blushed for the very first time and looked slightly flustered and embarrassed as he felt his heart hammer against his chest wildly 

He's more of a silent observer. He always watches you from the shadows, even though he might look aloof and distant and stoic, deep down he really does care for you, a lot. If you have nightmares he'll sigh softly as he'll run his fingers through your hair gently and awkwardly yet comfortingly pat your head as you'll fall asleep. Don't ask me how but somehow he'll find a way to know whatever you like. Maybe he'll overhear one of his students talking or something and his interest will pique up. Whatever it is that you want, you'll have it. He has obsessive feelings for you but he won't act upon them till the time you're in any kind of danger 

One day you were about to go into the village since you needed something and the members of the Yamazaki clan tried to take you away after Taejin wanted you to be his. Seongji seethed and saw red as soon as he heard the news. When he saw the men grabbing you by your hair and making you cry, that's when he felt like he snapped. His anger coursed through him like a burning flame and he felt like things were a blur but within a matter of mere seconds, he managed to knock everyone out. He ruthlessly beat them up and stabbed them with his Tanghulu rods and even stabbed one of them in the eye. Their screams of pain didn't matter to him, they hurt you, they deserved it. A primitive darker side of him filled him with thoughts of just murdering them for good so they'd learn a lesson. However he didn't want to make you scared, you needed to be comforted first 

"Why did you leave... I told you I'd give you whatever you want. It's not safe for you to be out on your own anymore. Come on, let's go'' said Seongji to you as he slightly frowned and he lifted you in his arms like a sack of flour and carried you back to the cave. He'll patch up any of your wounds and a sad look will pass on his face if sees any of your injuries though he might hide it. You were almost taken away from him, he can't allow you to do as you please anymore, not when your safety is at stake. He'll ask the others to keep an eye on you as well and you'll bet your allowance they'll IMMEDIATELY snitch on you the first chance they get. Look, they all like you but they like their teacher more and they're loyal to him so... say goodbye to your privacy I guess 

Seongji might pretend to be annoyed when he has to deal with you when he's cooking but he secretly loves your company. He hates the thought of someone else stealing you away from him, he's seen the way some men looked at you and it just makes him want to rip their bloody eyes out. He'll deal with your company and presence with a soft smile on his face. If you start getting cheeky and start saying cheesy stuff he'll roll his eyes at you and smirk but he'll be a blushing mess deep down. He has barely any experience when it comes to romance and love but he still wants to take care of you nonetheless 

Don't even THINK of trying to escape from him or leave him, he's known as the King of Cheonliang for a reason. If you somehow manage to get out of Cheonliang, he'll have to call his 'friends' for help, his friends being none other than the first generation Kings themselves. While Seongji is not pleased with your escape attempt, he will glare at you in a cold manner and list out all the dangerous possibilities that could have happened to you had your escape attempt been successful. He just wants to love you and protect you, why is that so hard for you to understand? He'll give you the silent treatment and treat you like a naughty kid till you're ready to apologize for your actions in which case he'll embrace you and gently pat your head and tell you how much he loves you and it's all for your own good. If you start throwing a tantrum and kicking at things, he'll just be amused. You remind him of a bratty little child, however if you're crying your eyes and heart out, he'll feel his chest tighten. He doesn't like seeing you cry, he'll just sigh and wipe your tears away but he'll never allow you to leave. You're belong to him and he'll do everything he can to ensure it stays that way...