#Your child of Man is waiting for you uwu
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Mal-Mal...
Are you worried about me? 💕
Save me, Mal-Mal
#Your child of Man is waiting for you uwu#Excuse me I'm never normal when it's about Malleus#He is worried about me I KNOW IT#malleus draconia#malleyuu#malleus x yuu#malleai#malleus x ai#malleus x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#twst malleus
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❝ tell me you are mine ❞
stepdad!leon x fem!reader.
summary: you just wanted he to be yours, one more night, one last night... just one last one, right?
content: 3.9k words, angst and little comfort, porn with plot, p in v, unprotected sex, doggy style, oral (m receiving), reader rides Leon, breeding kink, size kink, stepcest, age gap (reader ALWAYS +18), real daddy kink yk (not only in the sexual way)
note: i bring the third part because i see that you like it a lot uwu, i hope you enjoy it even though i'm a dramatic as fuck. all your reblogs and comments are well received !! ily'all. ♡
THE CHAPTER IS BEING CORRECTED AND EDITED TO AVOID GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so i'm sorry if there are parts that are not very understandable uwu.
"Thank you for accompany me..." you said in a soft voice, and your eyes slipped out the window, blonde hair peeking out made you smile in a mischievous way.
"It's okey... I wouldn't want to let you walk around alone" said Mike, your college mate, with whom you had finished a project that very day and, therefore, the hours had passed so fast that when you wanted to realize it the sun had already said goodbye. And, ever the gentleman, he offered to accompany you to your place of residence.
You knew that Leon was looking out the window, attentive to how his little daughter took the boy's arm with her hands and caressed him with feigned innocence. Your companion immediately tensed, laughing softly with you, and before you could even get any closer than you were the door opened with a swiftness worthy of your stepfather. Come on, he wasn't a government agent just for the hell of it.
"Inside" his voice was low and he didn't bother to greet the young man in front of him, who with an uncomfortable look said goodbye to you as best he could and took off, rather uneasily. And he was no less, a man of 6'4", with large arms and breasts that drew a menacing stance. That is until you looked at his eyes, his furrowed brows and the sharpness of his gaze that made you shiver. But, even though Mike flew away in fear, you could only feel your panties getting wet, making you sigh.
You didn't let him notice, at least not that much, and just walked in gently pushing the older man's shoulder in annoyance "Thanks for scaring the fuck out of my partner" you grumbled, arms crossed and the tantrum tone made Leon snort, closing the door behind him. Yes, you were his lovely girl but you could also be fucking capricious a lot of the time, going so far as to disobey. He blamed your mother for that behavior, anyway.
"We already talked about how dangerous being late is, and you keep doing the same thing" his tone was harsh and impatience was starting to show, which deep down made you stir because, well, pissing Leon off was a hard thing to do and you were pulling it off without trying very hard.
"Mike walked me here!" you argued with him, stomping your foot on the floor and feeling your hormones flutter in your stomach. You just wanted him to shut the fuck up and stop talking to you with that worry and demand in his tone of voice, all it accomplished was to send your body into a state of confusion. Where you were fighting with yourself about whether that discomfort in him made you feel worried or... horny.
"I don't like that boy walking around after you, you know I can't leave you in the hands of just anyone..." his tone softened and he tried to move closer to you, wanting to rest his hand on your waist, but you were exalted enough to let him touch you. You were too weak before him, holy shit.
"Leon" you emphasized, moving away only a few slight steps. His blond eyebrows rose in surprise "It's my life, you know that, don't you?" you crossed your arms over your chest and sighed "I'm not a child...or why can you have a normal life with my mother and I have to be left waiting for you?" your words seemed to sink deep into Leon. His gaze contracted and he sighed, causing him to take a full upright posture.
"Your mother or I will pick you up at the university, no more delays... and NO more classmates escorting you to the front door, got it?" his tone of voice rose and you felt the lump in your throat tighten, causing you to step forward, desperate, trapped. You wanted to hit him, you wanted to ruin him and make him regret his stupid words. But at the same time you wanted everything to go back to the way it was a few hours before; just to have him to yourself and to take care of you the way only he knew how.
But this was getting out of hand. Both of them.
"Fuck you, Leon" you uttered, not a word more, not a word less. Your posture remained the same, both of you staring at each other in a battle of who had more pride. But you were competing with Leon Stubborn Kennedy, that was going to be fucked up.
"What did you say, brat?" he raised an eyebrow and took a step forward but you got ahead by walking up the stairs, leaving him with the words in his mouth "Who the hell do you think you are for-"
"Fuck you! That's what I mean!" you shouted, almost unintentionally but... you broke free, you could almost feel the tears threatening to explode in your eyes.
"If you think you can do what you want you are wrong, it's my fucking house and you will do what I tell you" his voice was hard, you had never, seriously, never heard him talk to you like that. In his posture, look, presence there were no traces of the loving and caring father that Leon was, but rather of a hard and strict father... almost like your biological father, let's say "If you think you can bring any asshole to the door of my house and make little scenes throwing yourself on him, get those ideas out of your fucking head!" he seemed exasperated, but those last words ended up spilling the glass, leaving you with your heart in your hand. But you could only squeeze it and put it aside, but fuck your heart.
"And you get it out of your fucking head that you can fuck me and then go on with your life normally!" you ran up the stairs as fast as you could and with a loud bang you slammed the door. Your heart was pounding and tears were already inevitable, streaming down your red cheeks even though you were trying to be strong and not fall.
Leon downstairs was trying to understand how everything had escalated into such a fight. What was going on in your mind that suddenly things had become so distorted; with him and you saying hurtful things to each other that didn't even make sense.
However, that situation from the night before had been going around in your mind all day long. You had gone out in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, thinking that Leon and your mother were already sleeping, but the dim light and sound of the television made you you will go down slowly to the stairs and you saw them both comfortably on the sofa. Leon lying on her chest while she gently stroked his hair. You felt your heart being pierced by a painful pang that left you breathless for a few seconds. You felt envy, hatred, and sorrow that made you feel guilt and desire at the same time. Envy of your mother, for not being the one who would be in her place, and that hatred mixed with sadness for knowing that, even if you tried, you would never be the most important woman in Leon's life. You would not be the one bound to him with vows of loyalty and love. You were simply that morbid sensation that probably excited him, but you couldn't blame him because even if you tried to push him away and ignore him, the addiction to the sensations that being with him generated in you were simply... desperate, overwhelming but beautiful.
You had no choice but to go to bed with tears in your eyes and waking up the next morning with the news that your mother would be absent that weekend, and then it made more sense for you to be together that night. And you couldn't believe that you were more attentive to how much time Leon decided to spend with his wife than you were to the thought that you would miss your mother in her absence.
And the guilt returned.
And it lingered and distressed you. Making you feel alone, without the arms of someone to shelter you. Looking to any foolish boy you came across for some of that warmth that Leon was able to give you. And really... no one was able to love you as much as he did.
Sometimes you hated yourself and the habit of needing a cool glass of water very late at night. But there you were again praying to God that he wasn't in the room. However, it seemed that day was not a lucky one, and Leon's blond hair was illuminated by the dim warm light of the lamp, matching the low sound of the TV. As soon as you came downstairs with the greatest care of all, you saw how he stirred on the couch, probably waking up from his soft reverie.
You ignored him, you were just looking for water and that was it, you didn't have to see each other and he didn't have to get up. You opened the fridge, took a glass and poured the water gently so as not to make too much noise. And there it was again. That soft scent of expensive whiskey, his stubble a few days old against your neck and his arms wrapped around. There was the reason for your lack of compromise, you couldn't resist him and you were sure he felt you leaning your back against his chest, closing your eyes slowly.
"I don't want to talk to you if you're drunk..." you murmured, the sigh was inevitable, but you didn't move an inch away. You could feel Leon's arms squeeze you tighter and his soft lips leave a trail of wet kisses down the curve of your neck. As if you were going to run away again and that alone was enough to make you stay. And it was.
"I'm not... I barely tasted a sip" his voice drowned out by the kisses he was leaving you, his citrus yet sweet scent intruding on your skin to mark you and leave his scent on you "but i really need to talk to you, baby, I didn't mean to sound that way and I don't want you to feel that way about this either" contradictory to his words, you turned around without leaving his arms, and rested your tired head on his chest. You were his little girl and he was going to take care of you, right? You just wanted to ignore reality for one night.
"It's impossible for me not to feel that way, Leon" your hands clutched the fabric of his shirt, shortening the space between you even more "I just... I don't want to think, I don't want to concentrate on that anymore... I just want to be yours for one more night and for you to be mine. But only mine, you know what I mean?" your face lifted gently and you stopped holding back, seeking his lips with a thirst to taste him.
"I'm yours..." he murmured, their mouths brushing inches away from colliding and sinking into a kiss "but it's just that despair me that anyone else is near you, that anyone can smell you, feel you, hurt you" you licked his lower lip and sucked the spot gently, without it turning into a kiss "I'll be yours as many times as it takes" he moaned in desperation, opening his mouth as soon as you initiated a kiss just as desperate as the first time.
The disorder, the chaos, the whirlwind of sensations, on the contrary, calmed your mind. You stopped putting pressure on yourself wondering if it was right, if the two of you could maybe at some point be something more, or if it was just the thrill of the moment and he would leave you like everyone else who had passed through your life. You only wanted him for you, you wanted there to be no other woman in his life but you, you would give him reasons so he couldn't forget you. Yes, maybe that night or the next night would be the last, but you would be so marked in him that he would never be able to erase you.
Your kisses were his addiction, the endless missions where he didn't have you like at that moment made him go crazy; that he thought about leaving everything that at some point meant something just for you. He lived to have you on him like that moment. Both of you on the soft couch, his hands massaging the soft flesh of your ass while you ate his mouth like your favorite dessert. You felt small on top of him, but you didn't stop pushing him to the limit for it; you wanted in a way to punish him, to ruin him for making you feel so displaced from his life, and Leon just wanted you to stay close to him, to stick like gum to his shoe and chase him to hell if possible. That's where you both belonged, he thought.
"Fuck, just let me touch you more" he moaned, your tongues caressing each other slowly now, as if savoring that thing about both of you that you hadn't been able to taste in days. Your hands caressed his cheeks and traveled to Leon's hair, massaging the trails left by those golden but opaque strands. Your kisses moved slowly and wetly down their neck, you heard them gasp low even and could feel the inside of your thighs collide with the hardness of his cock. You were both wet but your kisses stopped when one of his long, thick fingers wanted to intrude into your shorts, brushing against your entrance.
"If you keep going, I'm leaving" the stiffness of his body was instantly felt, and like a dumb hound he searched your eyes trying to understand what he did wrong, but you weren't going to let him go so easily "You know, dad..." you began, moving his hands away leaving them at the sides of his body while your right took his fat piece and squeezed it gently above the fabric "I like everything about you, really.... down to the smallest detail, but I have to admit... God, your cock is one of my favorite things" your tone of voice interspersed with a moan made Leon sigh, the sound was heavy and husky, and you even saw his length startle gently. Your mouth watered, you felt your body go into desperation from the desire to drown with him.
"You're going to fucking make me explode..." Leon moaned, throwing your head back, bumping against the back of the couch as he lifted your hips in desperation and impatience. Your soft and playful giggle made him curse under his breath, your fingers running along his veins that bulged through the stain on his boxers which you soon undid, and he helped you as fast as he had the chance. You licked from his base to his glans, red, wet and dripping. You gave soft kisses, loving that part of him that always made you feel full, complete. It was that part of Leon that reminded you that he was a man, that he could protect you, but that he could make you tremble until you couldn't stand it anymore.
"Do you want me to squeeze you, daddy?" you sucked on his tip like your favorite popsicle, moaning as your hands cradled his balls and fondled them, they felt hot and heavy, and your insides contracted into nothingness itself imagining the amount of milk you would have to milk for him later. "This dick is only mine, isn't it? Only your pretty daughter's" the saliva barely let you speak, because your head bobbed up and down on the hot, wet flesh, blessing it with your tight throat.
"Only yours, baby, no one else's" Leon moaned, his hands itching from not being able to grab you by the head and plunge you deeper onto his fucking cock, to make it even clearer to you "My cock only cums for you, love, fuck, I just want to fuck you until you pass out" he gave a gentle lunge as his tone of voice shook as if he had run a marathon for hours, and the throbbing of his cock in the hollowness of your cheeks only made you smile wider.
You pulled away and wiped the saliva and precum from the corner of your lips savoring your stepfather's arousal "Sometimes you act like I'm not the only one, and that makes me feel bad" a soft pout played on your lips as you looked at them with sorrow, real sorrow. Ruined and sweaty with his bangs sticking to his forehead as he struggled not to send everything to shit and masturbate looking at your pretty body in front of him. "C'mon, Leon, show me that your cock is only mine and nothing else" you whispered, a secret between the two of you, and before you could finish the sentence your shorts disappeared from your legs and your chest stuck to the couch. You moaned as Leon's hands didn't know where to start, they didn't know whether to rip your shirt off, whether to touch your tits, he didn't know what the fuck to do. He was an animal desperate to make you his in a thousand possible ways.
Before your head could understand what had happened because of that sudden change, the martyrizing emptiness of just a few moments ago disappeared. The silence and tension was immediately cut off with a moan from Leon and you in unison and a thrust caused your legs to falter. He had to hold you from your waist to keep you from collapsing, causing your back to crash against his chest, tearing your throat into a moan as he pulled out completely and thrust back in "My cock is made to go in your fucking pussy” he growled from deep in his chest “Damn, you always let me fuck you so good, brat" his words sounded harsh against your ear as he buried his face in the crook of your neck sinking into your messy falling hair, breathing in that sweet scent that warmed him so much.
Lunge after lunge your body bounced, your shirt was gone from your body and his hands squeezed your tits as you gasped heavily “Dad-... Fuck! Yes!" slammed against your spot, against that button that gave him the power to fuck you any way he wanted. And there you were, on all fours like a fucking bitch in heat moaning so loud that anyone passing in front of the house would worry about what was going on inside.
Before he could increase the speed of his onslaught, you broke free of his grip and, much to your dismay, pulled his cock out of you. The sticky sound stopped for a few seconds but Leon didn't even have a moment to ask what was going on, before you spoke "Just... sit..." you could almost hear him object to this, but you were so high on his scent that you still felt his hands squeezing your hips and the sensation of your empty entrance was driving you crazy "Just, sit, please" you whimpered and turned around, trying not to fall. He closed his mouth and sat down.
Oh, for the love of God.
He looked so... you didn't know what, but him, with his thighs open, his shirt off revealing his chest rising and falling in the frenzy of the moment and his cock jerking desperate for a place to bury itself. So desperate to bury itself in you. And you were in no position to deny him; it was easy for you to climb on top of him -who was quick to hold your body in his hands- and line his cock up at your entrance, gently penetrating yourself. Leon's eyes narrowed and his mouth stretched into a grimace as he hissed, and you in your disconnected state couldn't help but melt at that image, the lines of expression at the side of his mouth, his jaw contracting and relaxing as the two of you became connected once more.
Connection intermingled with a constant back and forth of sensations, you jumped on top of him as you sought his lips, dizzy from the constant twinges that swirled in your belly down to your throbbing core "Mhm, mine, you're mine" you moaned into his mouth, you held his chin in your left hand as the sound of your ass slapping against his thighs echoed through the house joining his grunts and his saliva as he sucked on your tits, sucking on your nipples with no thought of the marks he would leave on you later.
"Yours, ‘m fuckin’ yours" his pelvis lifted and penetrated even harder, you could feel the head of his cock give into your stomach, he ravaged your womb each time his hips lifted and ground against your sweet spot, stealing moans from you uncontrollably. His hand squeezed your hip and as you felt the frenetic thrusts you could feel how he was only a few more strokes away from exploding in you. He looked like a child clinging to his favorite stuffed animal, hugging you tightly as he buried his face in your tits but at the same time fucking you with a force that you knew sooner or later would make it difficult for you to walk.
You wanted to go on, you needed to go on, but you didn't know at what moment -nor how, without needing to touch yourself- you were spilling all over the cock of your stepfather, of the man who opened his arms to you in a brotherly way every time you needed him. But there you were, getting him all wet as drops trickled down your thighs and stained the couch a little. The overstimulation was getting too much, you felt ruined and before you could moan again Leon filled you with his creamy seed without being able to help it. He didn't come out and cum on your face, tits or abdomen, no, he let all that tension and despair fill you. He didn't want to fight you again, he wanted to be inside you more than anything else, and filling you, letting you squeeze him until he squeezed out the last drop, was a sign of his desperation "I..." he gasped and crushed himself more and more slowly against your entrance already without strength, just to not let anything escape -which was impossible, he really had a lot to get out- "I really love you" he sighed, without stopping hugging you. You wanted to respond and say that you too, that you loved him madly, that you would give up everything to be able to wake up next to him every morning. But your body could only lie down on the couch and open your arms, offering him your warmth. You needed to give him your warmth before you became conscious again.
It was probably very late at night, and both Leon and you were on the couch resting your devastated bodies. You had that man, as intimidating as he could often be, lying on your chest sleeping peacefully. His heavy breathing made you understand that he was in a deep and undisturbed sleep, and that only made your heart squeeze. You knew he could be very stiff and tense, always alert, but having him asleep between your legs while allowing you to caress him and stroke his hair so naturally, made you feel love.
Love.
It was specific to feel that. You loved loving Leon, in all his ways. You loved when he put aside the paperwork to take you to your favorite coffee shop, when on his missions he remembered you and brought you a present -you loved that brown teddy bear he brought you from San Francisco-, or when you felt overwhelmed by college and he helped you study by sitting for hours to listen to you tell him everything you knew. Maybe it was your silly, lovesick girl imagination, but you saw that love in his eyes, a mixture of brotherly pride and... maybe something else. Something else you could feel it when they have sex, when just sleepily fuck in the mornings when your mother is not around, and you feel how he penetrates you as if you were going to break and he just wants to stay there, inside you, just to make sure everything is all right.
You closed your eyes and sighed. That would be the last night.
Sure, you had said that two nights ago, maybe a month ago... maybe two... but you couldn't help it. You couldn't help it if the hugs weren't enough, if his kisses left you wanting more. You were weak, weak before him. And he didn't have the strength to say no to you, he had tried a thousand times, but he would melt for you, he would kill himself for you.
You closed your eyes.
You would just forget that feeling for one more night and sink into his warmth. You didn't want to have to decide, not so soon. You just wanted to keep loving him. Just wanted to keep feeling his love.
#leon kennedy fluff#leon kennedy resident evil#leon death island#leon kennedy#leon re4#leon kennedy headcanons#leon resident evil#resident evil fluff#resident evil vendetta#leon kennedy smut#leon re2#leon s kennedy#resident evil leon#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy#leon smut#leon x reader#re4 leon#re4r leon#vendetta leon#resident evil 4#resident evil 6#resident evil#resident evil death island#resident evil fanfiction#resident evil x reader#re2leon#re2 remake#re3 remake
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hihihihi AUGH i love ur work sm?!! omg if u can fyodor with a younger sister (she has the same level of intelligence of him and works in the doa and his organaization) who is dating dazai? :) I know there are some but i need crack and suggestive!!1
ty and er bye good luck take ur time!
"Fyodor with a sister dating Dazai''
Sypnosis: Your rat brother is anything but happy about the fact that you are dating his only enemy on earth! Good luck on surviving!!!
Genre: crack, suggestive at the end
Warnings: bombing, terrorizz, , mentions of maniupulative behaviour, mentions of verlaine, roblox radgoll, loads of simping words, me being down bad, making out (lol), your mom
A/N: my reqs are currently closed but ehhhh who cares lol also THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE HONESTLY- pls enjoy and reblog i tried my best--- *dies of mental ilness*
How bro-
JUST HOW DID U DO THAT W/O HIM BLASTING DAZAIS INTERNAL ORGANS? 🤯🤯🤯
No bcs fyodor did not even plan to let u meet dazai but ofcourse bcs of the dead apple tower and stuff and since then he had completly fallen inlove with you whether you are dostoevskys sister or not
He prob asked u to do a waltz with him in the mukokukokurokito or whatver the phuck that towers name was when you entered the castle with your brother
Fyodor WAS NOT happy because he saw the flirty glint in dazais eyes when u came
If looks cold kill-.. (KILL ME, RUSSIAN ZADD😍😍---)
And all you went was giggles and flirting back
Fyodor is prob gonna get his own medicine bcs they two are so like each other??? but he still couldnt believe how you with such high intelligence could fall for him???
(fyodor take your anemic medication first)
Dazai obv had some skeptics after you but like the manwhore he is and prob slept with the entierty of yokohama! ofc hes gonna court you as if you might not just use him!!!
Very (not) normal behaviour indeed!!
HELP YOU KNOW THAT ONE INDIAN RIZZLER VS. UWU CAT??? HES LITERLY THAT BUT
Dazai: "I fucked your sister she be screaming high pitch😈" fyodor: "What did you say, you little child i will crush your skull 😡😡😡should have known when i smile, I also play cello, i can be anything Уву"
that was UWU in russian btw-
But in all serious he will try maniupultaing you or gaslighting you into leaving dazai, he cant leave his only family to a man he does not trust! fyodor doesnt even trust himself-
fyodors gonna act a bit more colder then usual bcs of the fact HIS sister is dating someone and that someone is his enemy
Honeslty you go up to say chuuya whos like "why do i get deja vu-" *flashback to verlaine* you: "First time?"
But ofc since you are also extremely smart you somehow convinced him (after playing roblox radgoll with him for 8 hours) to let you atleast join date with dazai
I bet you rizzed up dazai by "He said his favourite colour was blue, so i blew him up😍💣"
*insert proud brother noises*
He speaks in russian or any slavic language whenever you three are in a gathering to mostly embarress dazai
I have seen some hcs on dazai being a collarbone biter so if you were off shoulder shirts and fyodor sees them by chance hes going to glare at you as if you are covered in mud :33
"Sister,,,what. is. that." *nasty side eye to the love bite on your neck*
Dazai 100% one time randomly pulled you into the alley and started aggresively making out with you with his hands literly sprawling all over your body like hes daddy long legs or sth-
Bcs HE KNEW that fyodor had cctv set in that part of the city and fyodor would be raging at the fact that the sluttiest man is touching his precious sister like that
bros gonna forgot abt human rights- oh wait hes russian
IF HE EVER CATCHES YOU TWO THO--
Like making out on some bed or sth hes actually no LIKE ACTUALLY GOING TO throw a whole ass cabinet at dazai with a face full of nothing but malice-
"How dare, an inhuman animal like you touch my very sister" "BRO CHILL I AM YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW--"
And your just trying to stop your brother from commiting murder even though that his hobby ^^
fyodor finally forgot he had anemia bcs now all his focus was to give dazai the most painful death know to the medieval period\
Good luck on stoping your brother from poking a fork in your lovers eye in family dinners!!
A/N: guys ik i am doing the valentines req pls be patient i am trying my best!! i have a relly bad mental health rn so yeahhh-
Divider crds!: @cafekitsune
tags! @silverbladexyz @biscuits-lovely-corner @riiwrites @heartsfourdazai @tojifile @atsquie @atlasnessie @chuuyasboner @yosanosboner @ruanais @darling--angst
#bungou stray dogs#sakira!#bsd#bsd x reader#dazai#dazai x reader#crack#bsd stuff#bsd hcs#fyozai x reader#fyodor x reader x dazai#fyodor with a sister#fyodor x sister reader#dazai fyodors sister#enemies and lovers#overprotective brothers#sakiras writing notebook!!!
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Characters I hate the most in remarried empress
5:Heinrey
A lot of people dislike him now for being a cruel bastard to the point of torturing foreign nobles just so he can favor his wife. While that is messed up I'll take that over his constant "UwU my queen~" persona that he displays 90% of the time because at least the former is the remnants of his inital personality. It goes from kind of funny to straight up cringey, I do not see what Navier likes so much about his puppy guise, he's so low because to be fair, he was introduced as a scumbag (kind of), he just spends so much time simping that it's basically tossed to the side
4:Lebetti
I know a lot of fans say Lebetti is young and can learn better, she's 17 sure but it took her entire family being executed just so she'd be inclined to care about Ian. She's basically a mini me of Lotteshu and when's she not doing that, she's another blind Navier worshipper who is used for as a stand in for the reader, I don't know how fans didn't realize their stand in is a slave owner but I digress. The only reason she's at number 4 is that while I do find messed up she gets to raise Rashtas child and likely feed a biased view of her to Ian, if she really wanted to be evil, she would've let Ian become a slave for his mother's crimes so I guess there's that.
3:Kaufman
Jesus christ this man is a walking, talking manifestation of second ML syndrome. He's essentially a plot device for no other purpose other than propping up Navier as so beautiful that multiple royal guys want her and so shit can go down , And of course the obvious slipping love potions in others for no other reason then "the plot calls for it", he doesn't even face the consequences. He's fucking creepy as well since he's STILL in love with Navier even after she's married and pregnant GET OVER IT MAN! In the end he just gets with Charlotte (Kosairs ex fiancé) so writting wise: his whole "nice guy" problems can be solved
2:Alan
I really just have a personal vendetta against the whole Rimwell family. The moment I lost all hope in remarried empress is when I was expected to sympathize with a rapist. The narrative wants readers to believe Alan was wronged even though he was the one to participate in keeping Ian away from Rashta until she got rich, even though it was HIM who decided to abandon Rashta after she wanted to run away with him. Yeah he's a good father so what? Wow! A dad actually raising his kid how amazing, it's almost like that's called the bare minimum. The moment he tried to say that Ian deserved to be treated like a prince because he was Rashtas son is when the comments finally saw him for what he was, he makes up for all this by getting executed in the end
1:Laura
Your probably wondering out of all these scumbags, why is a random side character on top? Well, the characters below at some point had personality traits that made then complex characters in the past or they did something to make up a little for it making them a tiny bit more tolerable. Laura however has never once shown any signs of any other personality other than "Your majesty! Your so wonderful and the best! That slave needs to know its place around you!" At least all Naviers other ladies in waiting have some sort of gimmick to them or in rare cases they have other stories going on with just them. Laura's gimmick is that she is willing to hit a slave for Navier even if said slave made a genuine mistake and isn't used to palace intrigue. Her face pisses me off everytime I look at it and everytime she speaks it's never anything besides love for the leads and hatred for anyone against Navier. she needs to get off her glazing and go back to bullying Cinderella with her evil stepsister design she's got.
Anyway let me know if there's any other manhwa/comic to rant about because I'm sure everyone's probably tired of me bitching about remarried empress
#the remarried empress#empress navier#anti heinrey#rashta#anti kaufman#Sovieshu was close but he didn't make the cut because A: everyone already agrees he sucks B: he at least is served serious consequences
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really wanted to req for mc looking after the little D's while the demon brothers are watching them interact and thinking how good of a parent they would make (you could add some of the side characters if you're not too lazy)
i saw you take requests after i read some of your work so i just had to, I'd get it if you don't want to but if you do take you time
This sounds so cute uwu I wish I had more thoughts to pen down but my brain is absolutely scattered at the moment sooo :p (and yes I am a bit lazy so gonna just scribble down some thoughts about the demon brothers hueheuhue) I played around with the idea, changing it up a little bit so I hope that's ok! (Also I noticed you using 'they' so I'll try to keep this answer gender neutral, please tell me if I slipped up anywhere) (ps not proofread heheh just ideas dumped)
You and Little D | Demon Brothers
“Will you please. Stop. Talking.” The Little D of Pride was being so difficult with all its mindless yapping and screeching, Lucifer was about to literally throw the stupid mini demon out of the window…had it not been for you showing up to save the day!
All Little D wanted was to be heard about his amazing idea on how to decorate the ballroom for an upcoming event and Lucifer wasn’t bothered to give him any mind.
“Oh? Why don’t you tell me all about your ideas? I can’t wait to hear how awesome the are!”
Seeing you…leaning your chin you palm and listening intently to the little one, nodding eagerly and gasping in surprise at all its wonderful ideas…Lucifer felt his heart rate shoot through the roof
He quickly turned around to hide the growing redness on his pale cheeks, lest you actually catch him blushing at how sweet and loving you were…just like a parent
Perhaps it was too soon to be plagued with such thoughts- thoughts of you both having a little family of your own where you cared for your child just the way you cared for Little D-
“Ahem, I’ll be leaving now. Don’t bother yourself with listening to this thing for too long if you have your own matters to attend to.”
His heart skipped a beat when you shook your head, saying that you had more than enough time to spare to ‘your dearest little D’ You were going to be the death of him.
They were fighting like LITERAL CHILDREN!! Little D of Greed was flying around with Mammon’s precious credit card.
“YOU RASCAL!! COME BACK HERE WITH GOLDIE RIGHT NOW!” Mammon leapt across the room right as you walked into the weird scene
The oh so innocent Little D scampered into your arms and whined, crying about how Mammon was bullying him, who was quick to deny any such accusations
“Oh, is mammon being mean? Don’t worry, I’m here for you.” You nuzzled your nose against the smirking little demon and Mammon knew that he was supposed to be raging with jealousy but…wow, you were so gentle and the way you had Little D wrapped around your finger just the same way you had him…
How you hugged and comforted the cheeky little demon, Mammon started visualising you as a parent
Mammon was already down bad for you and this little sight was the cherry on top
“I wanna marry ya- I MEAN STOP SIDING WITH THAT LITTLE IDIOT”
Mammon was quick to dart closer to you, prying your hands off the Little D who had occupied all of your love and attention
“Hey now, there’s enough hugs for everyone here.” You laughed and wrapped one arm around Mammon and the other holding the demon
Wow, you were so mature, being able to handle two jealous demons fighting over your love
Yeah you’d definitely be perfect to handle mammon when you both have a child of your own
Leviathan isn’t really the most attentive to his surroundings when he’s immersed in his video games, especially if it is the latest first person game with his favourite character RURI CHAN!!
Which left the Little D of Envy starved for attention, pouting and poking at the purple haired man
“Stoppppp! Can’t you see I’m busy? Go find some other way to stay entertained.”
Sad little demon floats aimlessly until it reaches the lounge where you are resting on the couch, a Switch in your hand. You notice the sad little demon and smile at him, calling him over to sit on your lap.
An hour passed and Levi noticed the silence…he got up and out of his room as he started praying that Little D hadn’t gotten into any trouble
But what he walked into made his little gamer boy heart race
And excited Little D was on your lap with your Switch in hand as you cheered on him, screeching in happiness when he won first place in DemonKart. You both did a little synchronised dance, ending with a high five
Oh Levi’s otaku little heart couldn’t handle the heat travelling through his veins, seeing you be such a good parent like figure and omg maybe you guys could get married and have a little one of your own to play 3 player games with-
“Hey let me in on the gaming as well!!”
Satan wanted to give attention to the Little D of Wrath but he was far too focused on the spell books that lay open on front of him
“Why don’t you got…sort out my bookshelves? Go be useful.”
Little D was offended but he had to listen smh, but hey, Satan didn’t say anything about him not being allowed to recruit some extra help
And that’s where you came in, pulling us your sleeves and reading the spiral bindings of some of the hundreds of books in Satan’s room, finding the best category to put them in…until you saw the little demon reach for an unstable pile
“Wait! Little D! Be careful!!” A loud crash alerted Satan, who came running into the room
His eyes widened when he saw you on the floor, hugging and rocking a crying Little D back and forth, “Shhhh, it’s okay…you’re a strong one. You’ll be fine.” You comforted it, caressing the spot where the books fell on it
Satan’s heart did a backflip at your caring and affectionate nature. You had worry drawn all over your face as you held onto the little demon, giving it the support it needed in that moment…you would be the perfect parent
You were so much better than anything he could have imagined and making a family with you would be better than any fairy tale “Why don’t we all sort the books together, yeah? That will be better.”
“No no! You’re doing it all wrong! That is not how you apply mascara!” Asmo pouted at the Little D of Lust who had managed to yet again mess up Asmo’s makeup
The Little D frowned at Asmo’s uncharacteristic outburst, feeling helpless while floating out of the room.
“Hey, are you okay? I heard Asmo shout? Did he shout at you?” You showed up in front of the door, opening your arms for the sad little demon
You tapped your chin in thought when an idea clicked in your head “Why don’t I teach you some tricks, hmm?” The way the little demon’s eyes lit up made you smile even wider
Together in your room, you showed it the various techniques of applying makeup, ranging from mascara to blush to lipstick, till the demon had almost mastered the skills
Together, the two of you waltzed into Asmo’s room, showing off your beautiful face all thanks to Little D’s skills.
“Aw, did you teach Little D how to apply makeup? You look so good! You’re such a good teacher.” He pet the little demon’s head
Then Asmo’s face sparkled with the thought of how nurturing you would be as a parent
“Omg you would be such a wonderful parent when we have a child! You can teach them how to apply make up too! Wouldn’t that be perfect!!”
His unfiltered words made you blush and hide your face away from the thoughts of having a child with him
“Ughhhhh I’m so hungryyyyyy! I want foooooood!” Beel was once again whining about how hungry he was and unfortunately Little D of Gluttony was subject to his whining
Sad for Beel, Little D wasn’t exactly the most equipped in the kitchen, floating to the room and head spiralling with the number of cabinets and cooking equipment
Lucky for the mini demon, you walked into the kitchen, seeing it in its distressed state
“Why don’t you and I cook something together? That would be a good way to learn, yeah?” You offered, pulling out some pans to make the simplest thing you knew…pancakes
The little demon floated around and carefully listened to your instructions, laughing along with you when some batter accidentally spilled out of the mixing bowl or when you managed to land the perfect flip on the pan
“Mmmmm I can smell pancakes.” Beel, drawn buy the scent of the treat walked into the kitchen, stopping short in his tracks seeing you cooking with the demon
It was a sight right from heaven, his favourite human and his favourite demon doing his favourite activity (cooking something for Beel)
He smiled when the little demon laughed while pouring syrup and decorating the stack with berries, as per your instructions. His heart warmed at how parent-like you were when you high fived the demon and hugged it
“Oh Beel! Look what Little D and I made! Pancakes for you!”
Perhaps one day he would be walking in on seeing you making pancakes with a little one of your own.
The day was already quite tiring, Lucifer had told(more like ordered) Belphie to run some errands around Devildom, grocery shopping ughhh
All Belphie wanted to do was go into his blankets and fall asleep
He thought to himself, wondering what the Little D of Sloth would have been up to, all alone at home with nobody else to supervise
Honestly, if the little demon was anything like him, it would probably be in a deep sleep on the couch
When Belphie entered the living room, he noticed you on the couch and beamed at you, approaching to give you a big hug “Hey!-“
“Shhhhhhh! Little D is sleeping!” You loudly whispered at him, your tone sounding very much like a scolding
Belphie pouted and looked at your lap, the irritated feeling in his gut changing to a soft, loving sensation
Little D was asleep on your lap murmuring in sleep. You were stroking the little demon’s back and if you even dared to stop, it twisted and turned around violently till you gave it attention
“Little D is so much like you! If I stop stroking it, it would get mad!” You giggled when Belphie sat next to you, his thoughts straying to daydreams
Maybe one day the one of your lap will truly be someone like belphie, your child. You stroking the child’s hair who slept peacefully in your embrace.
Belphie blushed, leaning his face in your shoulder to hide himself from your gaze
“Can I rest on your shoulder for a while? I wanna dream a bit.”
Dream about having a life with you, making a family with you hehe.
#mia.mail#mia.writes#mia.scaramouchessimp.mail#obey me#obey me x reader#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me beelzebub#obey me asmodeus#obey me belphegor
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The Book of Bill approached me, held a mirror to my face and told me, "Take a look at yourself. You are not an uwu smol bean. You are not a silly little guy. You are no longer 'neurodivergent and a minor.' You are a whole 20 year old ass man, so act like it. You can't keep living life subjected to the whims of own impulses like you did as a child. You have to take responsibility for your actions; your actions have consequences, and you are suffering them. Your desire for endless freedom is a snake eating its own tail: you are a member of society, and being unable to fit in or being abused and victimized because of things you can't control is no justification to be an asshole. You pretend to be small and more helpless than you actually are so people will do your bidding, then laugh about it when they look away, and frankly, that's pathetic. Stop lying to people, stop lying to yourself. Stop justifying your actions or pretending they aren't serious. Some day, you are going to mess up, really mess up, and 'Your honor, I just couldn't help myself, and if you think about it they deserved it because they made me angry, so really it's their fault!' is not an admissible legal defense in criminal court. Are you seriously going to wait until a judge mandates it to go to therapy? Your adamant refusal to seek help out of resentment and arrogance is laughable. Do you want to be dragged into the psych ward kicking and screaming, again? Do you want to go to jail? Because living as you are, that's where you are going to end up. And changing will be hard, and it will be torture, and you will hate it, but you have to do it anyway. You have to be willing to try.
So, Lyxthen, are you an immortal dorito-shaped, banana-colored cartoon, with a bowtie and a tophat, incapable of learning and growing, or are you a human being?"
Then it hit me in the head with a metal pole and left me bleeding and crying on the floor. I stayed there, unable or unwilling to get up, I do not know, until a friend held my hand, helped me to get back on my feet, and said to me, "hey, that wound seems pretty severe, do you think you should get a doctor to get a look at it?" to which I replied "Yes. Yes I do." And I made an appointment with a therapist.
#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#You can take this as either a Bill Cipher character analysis or a vent post and that's kinda fascinating if you think about it#Ace attorney: You have a lot of grief about your father you haven't dealt with and that's okay. You deserve love.#TBOB: Fuck you. You suck ass. Lol. Lmao even.#It was like a massive reality check#I got called out so bad#I ran to my friends on discord shaking like a leaf and said 'guys the book is bullying me :('
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Rather than make a post for each of my DATV thoughts, I’ve just put them all here. Spoilers for all of act 1:
Not Varric fulfilling the Duncan role this game
Why only Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain tho? Why aren’t they all out
Strife!!! He doesn’t like me :(
FREAK DARKSPAWN ARE BACK BAYBEEE
Would smash the nadas dirthalen
Well D’Meta’s crossing was gross.
Why is there a human mayor of a town in Arlathan and why does he care about Ghilannain?
A Morrigan intro that doesn’t have her saying “well, well”????????
VALTA!HARDING
Bbg I’m so confused by the crossroads I don’t like these mapsssss
TEIAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Faceless horde of identical qunari occupying a city? How original.
Caterina’s kind of a gilf ngl
Underwater level uwu
Spite’s kinda…
No! Another gilf down :(
oh? Is the oracle the same thing that valta heard???
Yeah, yeah, dangerous relics or whatever. I’ve got kitties to pet and pottery to eviscerate
LuCANIS! All this talk of coffee kisses in front of your cousin??
Why is the Butcher called the Butcher if he’s the leader of the Antaam?
Why would the qamekmaster call them human traitors if all non-qunari are bas?
You can’t seriously make me believe the Crows are a moral group fighting for justice
Governor Ivenci only referred to with gender neutral pronouns. Another nb win
And Why would the Venatori be knowingly working with elven gods??
MAEVARIS MAEVARIS MAEVARIS
I don’t care how long I have to go running around killing darkspawn to get the chest in the creepy blight tree, I’m GETTING the chest
Worth it.
Idk, I’ve always imagined the Anderfels as snowy not… cactusy
Antoine is perhaps the most French man to exist ever. Not even Orlesian, French.
Hold on, I’ve gotta explode this cactus with my body
Gloom Howler’s kinda hot
Jesus FUCK this blighted dragon
Noticing a suspicious lack of anyone responding to Varric’s existence….
MYRNAAAAAA
TAAAAASH
When Harding talks about the inquisition all I can think about is the inconsistencies? Like, why would she remember Cole if he left or remained a spirit?
EEMMRICHHHHHH
I’ve only known this wisp for one second and if anything bad happens to it I will kill everyone and then myself
Em has canon father energy
LEMME AT THESE fucking CHESTS IN THE NECROTORIUM
MANFREDDSD
Ykw. Vorgoth can get it too
BELOVED Taash feeds the birdies
Karash has non binary swag
Wait wait. If Taash’s mom left the Qun bc she didn’t want her child to be in the Antaam, which would make them functionally a man then why is she ok with Taash being a warrior anyway? Seems odd to do this kinda plot with a group we’ve already established transness with
You can’t seriously think I’m gonna save the capital of the slave empire.
Davrin is dadcore
FORMLESS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!
A BELOVED wisp has gifted me a SPOON!
Astrolabe Restored
Well. Goodnight shadow dragons I guess.
candle hops are such cuties
My inquisitior would not behave like this.
So Aveline’s the Viscount and she’s allied with Sebastian, a guy who tried to annex Kirkwall in my worldstate
I kinda wanna play “Inquisitor saves Southern Thedas 2 Electric Boogaloo” if I’m being honest
I already collected all the wolfs regrets before meeting Inky. So. Yeah. That was a lot.
SO FLEMETH IS DEAD FRFR?????
How come the other gods are crazy looking and Mythal is just a normal elf
Oh this echo in the well thing is gonna be cool
Truly don’t know how much of these blight sound effects I can take tbh
ARE WE GOIN TO KAL SHAROK BAYBEE???
The Kal-Sharok armor kinda reminds me of the Sha-Brytol
The Valdasine Thaig is the primeval Thaig in 2 btw
VALTAAAAA
Ugh. I’ve always hated the ‘the old gods are related to the evanuris’ thing (tho I guess it’s not a theory). But we all thought Elgar’nan was Dumat tho right?
And if you can kill the Gods with the lyrium dagger, why didn’t he just do that? Like, we’ve already established that killing them with the dagger just fragments them.
I get that the fate of weisshaupt and all the wardens is important or whatever, but I’ve got chests to open beybee
Yeah bc it’s super easy to just off an Archdemon. what do you mean davrin’s killing it….
Well now killing an archdemon while it’s all tied down’s a bit unfair
Oh.
God that archdemon fight sucked.
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Ok you don’t gotta answer this I just want to ramble a little (hope that’s ok) I can’t stop thinking about how dust somehow manages to be the prime option of who would have cross’s child????(in my mind at least)
Everyone has some sort of physical complication until it comes to dream and dust
Nightmare with his rep and history but moreso with his literal CURSE, even if that DIDNT get passed down they’d have no way of knowing it wouldn’t
Killers soul seems to be a liability esp considering monsters giving birth would be LARGELY tied into souls and or magic
Horror… :(((( poor horror can’t💔
Depending on the kingdoms views, dream might be bad bloodline wise as well because of how they were overpowered and ridiculed, making them appear weak….i also could see them no appreciating mixing Royal blood (especially weaker systems with bad rep) which is kind of STATED??? Like that is part of why they don’t have MARRIAGES with other kingdoms with rivaling bloodlines ig complicated things seemingly
Then prefering someone that doesn’t steal the thunder from THEIR bloodline is so interesting
Horror WOULD have been best but he physically can’t *cries* SOMEHOW dust fits the criteria best…..not only that but he’s already got insane magic and is unatrually strong…with no overly important bloodline to mess with reputation….i keep imagining little dust having kids with cross and both their huge pools of magic just making the kid a fucking POWERHOUSE. It feels like almost a twist candidate for child rearing💀 I absolutely am in love with the idea
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE PLANNED AND I HOPE YOU DONT MIND MY LITTLE RANT and like no expectation of you to answer it but 😆I can’t get it off my mind and want to share with someone BSISBDIDJ I love your series so much and re read chapters an embarassing amount (reading the newest chapter has just fueled the fire man I cannot they are so sweet)
I’m so excited to see where your vision for the story goes it makes my entire week better every time I see an update, thank you for sharing your story with us esino 👏🩷
I'm so glad you like it! :D This au means a lot to me and has a special place in my heart, so I'm glad you enjoy it uwu
As to children, hehehe there's been a lot of guessing and speculation and we will have to wait and see UwU
But I will say, Gaster wants grandbabies from his sons. xD
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Y'aaaaaaall I literally just saw a baby mama post in one of my lesbian facebook groups: 'me and my 3yo child are homeless and just waiting for our next friend uwu' (literally just that with a tiddy pic, no further elaboration) and these straight child-ridden girlies really are using the economy to upgrade from their usual posts in the lesbian groups that are like 'I need a free female babysitter so I can go out and conceive my next child with some random man on a Friday night' lmao. Like gurl, focus on your own damn heterosexual situation and your own damn heterosexually conceived child for once and stop tryna make ur heterosexual problems into some lesbian's problem. If you have a child and not a house to put that child in your first priority should definitely not be precuring a lesbian to take pity on you god damn
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Daeron returns home shitpost.
Daeron:*returns to King's landing*
Daeron::)
Daeron that night: *asleep in his own rooms*
A door: *slammed*
Daeron: wtfff
Aegon, wearing his hobo cloak: Greetings brother.
Aemond, also wearing his cloak but his is is made of quality fabric: *silence*
Daeron; Hello. I- what is going on?
Aegon: It is time brother.
Aemond: *annoyed*
Daeron:??
Aegon:
Aemond:
Daeron:
Aegon: ask me what it's time for please I have other things to do unfortunately.
Daeron: Time for what?
Aegon: to get It wet.
Daeron; to get what wet?
Aegon: awh he's so innocent bless his innocent mind uwu adorable.
Aegon: *demonic voice* we must corrupt his soul
Aemonds mind; kittens and puppies. Meow.
Aegon: it's time to become a man
Daeron: you want me to kill someone?!
Aegon: what? No. Why do you both think of murder 24/7 what is up with that?!
Aemond: it's the traumas.
Daeron: we are at war
Aegon: fuck the damn war I wanna do something fun and hang out with my brothers!!!
Daeron: Fine. Lets go to a brothel I suppose.
Aemond:*as a big brother* ah he can't use the words whore house.
Aegon: we'll teach him soon enough.
The three of them; sneak out of the castle
Aegon: I can't believe we pulled that off
Daeron: security sucks here
Aemond; agreed.
A deep voice: You have all forsaken me. You have betrayed me. You will all perish
A cloaked figure:*approaches*
Aemond: gods is this..
Aegon: father?
Daeron: wait we have one?
The cloaked figure:*giggles*
The cloaked figure:*reveals herself*
Helaena: I heard you all sneak out. Why didn't you invite me with you? I love late night outings!:))
Aegon:
Aemond:
Daeron:
Helaena: where are we going? Is there food? I like night food. Did anyone bring coin?
Aemond; it is dangerous for you to be here
Helaena: what danger is there for me surrounded by my brother's and the fiercest warriors of the realm?
Aemond:*blushes*
Aegon: are the warriors with us right now?
Daeron: she means us
Aegon: o.
Helaena: so what do we have planned?
Daeron: they were planning to go to a bro-
Aemond: Brother! Our plans have altered last minute remember
Daeron: what but you all promised me-
Aegon: one day, young apprentice. One day.
Aemond: I was never called your apprentice
Helaena: I'm getting bored here
Aemond: i suppose we could take her to see the night Market. That is entertaining.
Helaena: SHOPPING YIPPIE
Later
A witch: do you wish to know your death child?
Helaena: no, do you? I see you hanging from the ceiling of your own house your own neck cracked and twisted-
Witch: *gawks*
Daeron: damn
Aegon, holding four cups of wine and handing it to his siblings: I got everyone a cup. Drink up quickly the night is young.
Aemond, watches someone swallow a sword: that's just a waste of the sword
Daeron: can't imagine it tastes good as well
Later
Music plays
Helaena: I wanna dance!
Aegon; fine
Helaena: No I wanna dance.
Helaena: Aemond?
Aemond, blushing: yes my queen?
Helaena: you want to hold my bag when I dance with Daeron?
Aemond:*demonic mjttering* yes of course
Daeron and Helaena; dance
Aemond:
Aegon: where did he learn to dance as that?
Aemond; can't have been with us
Later
A hobo:
Aegon: who the fuck is that
Aemond; idk keep an eye on helaena. He smells of horse piss
Hobo:???
Helaena: O, hello Ser Criston!:)
Daeron: hello! *unaware who criston is*
aemond and aegon:*gawk*
Criston: *removes his hood and looks at Aemond*
Aemond:*looks away*
Aemond; we can explain
Helaena: Daeron wanted to see King's Landing so we took him out.
Criston: during the hour of the owl? Are you aware how this could have ended for all of you?
Helaena: Please sir criston. *puppy eyes and dark magic*
Cirston: Fine but I stay. You need someone to watch you all.
Helaeana: Yess!
Helaena at some point: you know what we should do?
Daeron; *asleep*
Aemond: no? What should we do my queen?
Aegon: careful aemond I can hear your voice switch between regular Aemond and aroused demon
Helaena: Haha you're funny aegon aemond is as a sweet little brother to me:))
Aemond::(
Helaena; we should get matching tattoos
Aegon: that sounds cool let's do it
Aemond: what kind of tattoo
Helaena: a spider wearing the crown of Aegon I drenched in blood and with "We light the way' under it.
Aemond; I stand corrected that sounds cool
Aegon:*drags daeron as the three of them go find a tattoo person*
Helaena after the tattoos are finished: Oh you are all so handsome
Aemond, looking at his tattoo
Aemond; Uhm he made a mistake.
Helaena: No I changed my mind. I wanted a unicorn instead.
Daeron: It's not the worse
Aegon: What the fuck are you talking about there's a unicorn on my arm
Daeron:*walks up to a village maiden and shows her the unicorn*
Aemond: No way
Aegon: it won't work
Daeron and the maid: hit it off
Aemond:
Aegon: *in tears* my apprentice has become the master. Impossible.
Helaena::)) I'm so glad we got to do this. A positive memory between us all
Helaena:((
Aemond: I will never understand women.
Helaena: so you guys still want to go to the whore house or not?
Aegon and aemond:*nearly choke on their drinks*
---
This is what brainrot looks like
#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen#aegon ii targaryen#helaena targaryen#shitpost about aemond#house of the dragon shitpost#daeron targaryen
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Bonds Like Tree’s Roots- Kelvin x Female Reader – P10
P9
Tags: Fluffy overflow
Kelvin had walked until he had calmed down a bit, he had refreshed his face with the fresh water of the river, his nightmare had faded quite a bit, but the anguish from hit you still remained in his chest. He didn't care that it was accidental, that more than anything it had been a push, for him it had been the equivalent of choking you and kicking you in the ribs.
He was a fervent believer in the idea that a man should not lay his hand on a lady, and yet, he had done it, and more precisely, on you, the woman he appreciated so much, the one who kept him healthy, which gave him reason to laugh. He felt an immense self-loathing, hatred bubbling in his mind, self-shame, disappointment. He wanted to clone himself just to slap himself for hours.
He sat, alone, apart, behind a tree, covering his face, sobbing. He didn't want you to see him, he didn't want you to get close to him, he felt like too little thing for a woman like you. In his mind, he had already ruined everything, forever.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw you approaching him, so he stayed still. However, he saw you throw something at his feet, before you walked back to where you were, leaving him alone again. Confused, he looked at what you had left him, feeling his emotions mix as he recognized a brand new blue notepad.
Quickly he took it, opening it, seeing the first page written, reading fast.
“Take the time you need, but I appreciate you too much to leave you alone for too long, suffering. Come back soon, my Rottweiler."
Kelvin covered his mouth so you wouldn't hear him cry the way he cried. It wasn't just the words, but the intention, and the fact that you used a notepad, as you two had used so many times on the island. It was your way of reminding him where you came from, what you had been through together, a reminder that the bond you had was based on things dense and transcendental enough, that his violent reaction to a nightmare would not break it.
He clutched the little book to his chest, sobbing for a long time, both embarrassed and relieved, remembering who you were. You were not a stranger, nor any girl who did not understand anything, nor a stranger. You were his anchor, his savior, his friend, his partner in hell on earth. If there was anyone in the world who could truly understand him, it was you. And with that in mind, all his doubts were disseminated, becoming completely convinced. What he felt was love. Completely sure of it. Love, deep and visceral, elevated and ethereal, physical and passionate. He loved you, he needed you, he wanted you, it was one fact after another, you were the woman of his life.
With his tears mingling with a smile, he tried to compose himself as quickly as he could, breathing several times, washing his face again, to return to where you were, still sitting on the large tablecloth under the tree, looking at the landscape of branches swaying with the breeze.
You saw him appear and stand very close, so you looked up at the height difference, asking him if he was feeling better. You saw him nod and bend down for a moment to take out the pen you had in your ear and write something on the notepad, returning both to you.
You looked at the paper. Written, big, in the middle, an absolute and unexpected “UWU” that made you laugh. He smiled, seeing you laugh your heart out. Only Kelvin could come up with something as absurd and random as that.
“How UWU!?” You laughed more, seeing him sit calmly next to you. "What kind of…response is that?"
He waited for you to stop laughing a bit and hugged you tightly, resting his cheek firmly against your head, squeezing you as much as he could "Thank you..." He whispered.
"It's nothing, silly boy" You gently denied and wrapped your arms around his waist "I won't tell you not to hide again when you make a mistake, because I'm not someone to give you orders, nor are you a child who needs instructions, but... God, you know me well, you big fool… You would have to do something extremely bad for me not to want to get close to you… So relax…”
"I know" He murmured, hiding his face in your neck, filling his lungs with your delicate feminine essence "But you deserve me not to do nonsense"
"You're a goofy, it's what makes you funny and likable, even if it makes you prone to do some nonsense" You rubbed his firm back.
“Do you want me to try being more serious?” He didn't move.
"Hell no, it would be boring, stay as you are or I'll get mad" You patted him on the back.
"You're the best" He rubbed his head against yours, hard.
"Cuddly, hmmm?" You smiled, noticing him even closer than usual. "Shouldn't I be the one receiving pampering after what happened?"
“OH MY GOD” He pulled away from you, immediately, eyes wide like two brown suns “I'm sorry! You're right!"
"It was a joke, Kel." You gently denied.
"Nononono, it's up to me to treat you like a queen, it's the least I should do" He dragged himself a little to sit near the tree, leaning back, resting his back against the trunk "I'm your human pillow, your Majesty" He opened his arms, inviting you.
"What you are is unbearable" You saw his posture.
You moved and settled to sit with to him, in the space he had left between his legs, your back to him, to use him as a warm and comfortable backrest, looking at the landscape, your head close to his. He automatically wrapped his arms around you, keeping your back firmly against his chest.
"If you want to resume the nap that this thickhead interrupted you, go ahead" He said.
"Nah, I'm fine." You rubbed his arm. "What about you?"
"I'm a little busy right now"
“Silly” You started laughing, remembering “UwU… Where the hell did you get that from?”
"My little brother likes that kind of nonsense, I guess I get used to that" He smiled, enjoying the melody of your laughter soaking into his brain.
"You're not of age to use uwu, that's for young people" You bothered him.
"Don't call me old when I'm barely a year and a half older than you, old lady" He squeezed you.
"I'm young inside, not like you"
"Bold woman" He pretended that he was going to bite your face.
"No, no, don't bite me!" You laughed.
But instead of biting you, he only stayed kissing your temple, with innumerable, repetitive and tender little kisses that raised each one of your hairs. He closed his eyes, enjoying loving you, one of his hands finding yours, holding onto your fingers.
You didn't move or say anything. You didn't want him to stop doing that, but at the same time, it confused you. You loved him, but you didn't know if what you were interpreting was Kelvin being himself, or a sign of something else.
You didn't say anything about it then, or for the rest of the day, or back home. Neither of that, nor of the abrupt tide of affection that he was giving you whenever he could.
P11
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The Cursed Lizard Dave Fic I have been wanting to make for awhile
(Disclaimer: Dave is a lizard man. Haha funni. I’m sorry for this. Truly.)
It was a normal ass day in Five Nights at Dayshift world, and Jack couldn’t wait to put on his iron maiden fursuit and entertain annoying childs.
This day was as per usual, ruined quickly.
Jack kicked down the door to the door to the Saferoom. “SomeBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS MACARONI SO I TOOK A BITE OUT OF A TREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Jack loudly sings.
Orange Man KICKS DOWN DOOR, What Happens Next Will SHOCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Jack finds his “total BFF” hunched in the corner, and he gets a VERY bad feeling. He cautiously approaches the man, ready to dart at any moment.
He notices that Dave is eating live beetles out of a Let’s potato chip bag and proceeds to do a Wojak face. VINE BOOM
Jack starts to emit a sonic screech and explode.
Dave is canvas flipped to be facing his booooooyfriiiiiiiiend hahahahahahahahahahahahaahaahahaahhahahaa
“Why hello there, Old Sport.” Dave says entirely normally as he continues to eat bugs.
Jack continues to grossly sob and vibrate.
“Are you ok Old Sport?”
“B-BUG EATERRRRRRR!” Jack yells.
“Oh sorry ):” Dave says “Did you want some I’m sorry for not offering.”
“And why u eating bugs?” Jack says while doing the laughing while crying emoji face.
“Bugs r tasty Old Sport :D” Dave says while default dancing at Jack.
Jack t poses to assert dominance and Dave a poses in order to show his submissiveness and breedability OwO
“Nu bugs are gross >:(“ Jack replies.
“HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Dave said calmly.
“Baka it’s not like I like you or anything!” Jack says, as he reads the script given to him by the fandom. He stares at us all in utter disappointment.
“I agree Old Sport, but we’re not arguing about if nuclear power is sustainable, we’re arguing about bugs.”
“FUCK BEES!” Jack says. “Also stop being disgusting you disgusting man thing.”
“That’s LIZARDIST! >:0” Davey yells and starts crying because his boyfriend is lizardist.
“Lmao cope.”
“:(((((((((((((((((“
“Ok fine I’ll stop being lizardist. That is mean and I respect my friends. And so should you kids! Remember boundaries are important!”
“Ok thanks Jacky-Wacky UwU” Dave says as he crawls up and down the walls. Jack ragdolls.
“You being a lizard is pretty based NGL.”
“OHMYGODDDD THANK U >v<“ Dave explodes and rotates. “CAN YOOOOU HELP MEEEEE 🥺🥺🥺”
“With what you sexy lizard fecker.” Jack says, biting his lip pornographically.
“My skin is shedding but the stuff on my hand won’t come offfffffff 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺”
“Ok lol” Jack says, degloving Dave’s hand.
“Thank youuuuu Sportsyyyyyyyyyy” Dave says, as he hits the griddy.
“I want your lizard bussy ✌️😩” Jack says while flopping on the ground like a fish.
“UwU what’s this?” Dave says while the name of rom for you is death.
Davey eats a whole plate of spaghetti while vibrating.
Jack does a pirate jig.
Dave’s lizard frills flare up and he hisses.
What the fuck is going on here?
I’m the narrator and even I’m confused.
Dave glitches out and walks in the air for a minute.
“You know I’ve always been really into anthro lizards 🤪🤪🤪😳😳😳🥵🥵🥵🥴🥴🥴💩💩💩👅👅👅🧶🧶🧶” Jack says as h livesey walks towards Dave.
“Really UwU?” Dave says in return as he is pinned against a wall.
The troglodyte mating ritual is a strange one.
Suddenly, everything explodes and everyone died they lived happily ever after the end.
(Note: Accurate depiction of being in the lizard Dave cult.)
#dsaf#dsaf old sport#dsaf jack#dsaf dave#dsaf davetrap#davesport#Lizard Dave Cult#LizardDaveCult#shitpost#dayshift at freddy's
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The Rewards of Marriage / I found a Husband when I picked up the Male Lead
The straight-forwardness of the original title makes me giggle. XD This time, I don’t quite like the official English title because it’s not as fun. Lolol.
Summary For once, no death was involved in the isekai. Our girl just fell asleep and suddenly woke up in the body of a random extra. Her OG self wasn’t exactly a villainess, but definitely a spoilt spendthrift. Even though her parents are so nice ;3; Luckily, she ended up in the novel’s backstory section, when the OG ML’s still a kid. So for the reward money, she finds him after an accident and brings him to his uncle. But of course, shenanigans, and they both need to wait a month to confirm if OG ML really is the OG ML. Which is totally enough time for uncle to catch feelings for our FL. Hahahaha oh no. Literally the whole contract marriage scheme is just a way for him to get closer to her so she can catch feelings as well, hopefully. (It’s a shoujo romance manhwa, of course she will.)
Tropes - isekai-ed but I’m just an extra!??!? - past life explained in one panel - this is just a contract marriage he/she would never love me - cute baby doing cute baby things
FL - Wilhazelle Fossier (but not really)
- OG Wilhazelle was a spoilt brat and now poor isekai!Wilhazelle has to clean up her mess - 100% oblivious to love RIP to our ML
little baby MC - Lapelion Hellion
- B A B Y - why is it always the (dead) older brother’s kid - sweet summer child precious cinnamon roll, too pure for this earth - I don’t remember what he’s supposed to be like in the “OG novel” but here he’s just our cute little baby ~matchmaker~
ML - Chester Hellion
- I am sorry my dude you fell in love with an extremely oblivious FL - he’s such a good uncle ;A; - man had to go through so many fake nephews but at least the real one came with a bonus love interest UwU - richer than you’ll ever be
Rating: Yes PLEASE READ THIS Status (as of 12 Jan 2023) Season 1 was basically building up to how they meet and ~catching feelings~. They’re finally fulfilling the whole “found a husband” part of the title in Season 2. Good luck to our ML ;w; You go guy, make her recognize your feelings. o7
Same Same but Different - Tricked into becoming the Heroine’s Stepmother - I became the Hero’s Mom - Not-Sew-Wicked Stepmom / I’m just a Stepmother but my Daughter is just so Cute
full rec list
#The Rewards of Marriage#I found a Husband when I picked up the Male Lead#manhwa#manhwa recommendation#CherCher reviews manhwa#how many of these dumb contract marriage series can I read#why are the leads always so cute and so stupid#this is not good for my heart ;w;
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hi twy!!! I wanted to ask a question about you and ichigo if you don’t mind!! what’s the most unexpected sweet thing he has ever done for you?
Kendy, my dearest, hello!! :3
Kissing your cheeks, kissing your nose, kissing your forehead, kissing your hands rn 🥰💋💋💋.
I hope you are doing well this Friday and that you are fulfilled and recharged during the weekend uwu 🫶🏾🩷🩷🩷🩷.
I will never mind being asked questions about my blorbos! Especially Orange Husband, my beloved 🧡.
AUGH the most unexpected sweet thing he’s ever done for me 🥺. I am getting tearful just thinking about it 😪💜💜💜.
Ichigo knows two things about me:
That I can get really in my head about how much I matter to people (especially if I’ve been lonely for a time).
That I am a very sentimental person. (Like I still have birthday cards from when I was a child stored away dawg)
So knowing these things, he conspired to get me these babies ⤵️
Not only are they super cute (how i love sanrio and pastel colors <3), but their purpose is so so special. They are for holding those sentimental papers and moments that remind me I am loved and that I have so much love to give others.
He took me out on a date night. We went somewhere pretty, then somewhere we could get pampered together, and then we went to have dinner :3. When we came back was when I was surprised with them all sitting together on my bookshelf.
He knew I would like the designs on them, and he knew in general I was trying to get more organized so he thought they would be a good gift (he was right uwu). And he had realized only after they'd been shipped that maybe I could use them instead of that chest and that photo storage box I had been using and meaning to put together.
The blue one I decided I would use to store all the old birthday cards, letters, and other things I already have from people I'm related to or I've known in person.
The pink one I decided to use for sweet messages from friends online. Either i print them or write them out and include where to access them digitally uwu. Not only do I use it for messages from others to me, but also for messages I've sent to others and how happy it made me to see it made them happy if/when they responded :)))).
The yellow one is exceedingly precious to me 🥹. This one had him blushing as he asked if I could save that one, just for him. This one he fills alone, with thoughts, love letters, poems, affirmations, pictures he gets developed, or just other little things or small gifts he thinks I would like 🧡🧡🧡. The bottom drawer is where I put the shorter, more casual things. Stuff he loves about me, how good i looked in an outfit on a particular day, letting me know how happy i made him by doing something simple, etc. The pictures also go there. The middle drawer is where the more in depth things like love letters, poems, and the like go. The top drawer is like a little inbox! He puts all the new stuff for me there :3. So when something is there I know I'm in for something lovely from my one and only 🧎🏾♀️💓💓💓. And once I go through it i put it in the appropriate drawer or elsewhere if its a small gift.
On that night, after he'd asked to save the yellow one, he let me know there were already a few things waiting for me in it. I melted on the spot. He kissed my forehead before telling me he was going in the other room to give me some time to read them.
The way this man's written word had me absolutely SOBBING to myself 😭😭😭💖. I had to go hug him immediately after reading, still crying.
We cuddled tenderly for the next hour or two. And after, he would make the sweetest love to me. I could feel him pouring his heart into every touch. I was trembling at orgasm, and I once again cried after we were done lol. He was so gentle with me, my word 😪 <33333.
And why it all means even more to me? It wasn't even like our anniversary or anything!! No special holiday, no nothing! It was just a regular night that he decided to shower me with so much intimacy, affection, and care :((((((. He is the love of my life forevermore 💜💜💜💜💜.
Kendy this ask of yours birthed this scenario and it is so close to my heart omg I am actually perishing, thank you for this :c <333333. I am kissing you eternally. If you feel so inclined, because I would like to reciprocate this gift, what’s the most unexpected sweet thing Isshin (or really whatever fave you are feling most) has ever done for you?
💋💋💋
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Brainrot yet again 😔and this time it’s aether but because nobody on this site can write for him, they don’t know him like I do!!😤like not EVERY aether fic and hc can be super uwu subby crybaby boy SOME OF YALL ARE LYING!! I fully stress myself out by going back and back to the aether tag😭 like I have a handful of artists who draw him normal even Venti isn’t that elusive😭 like aether is a fully grown man with a 9-5! he will not start blushing from me holding his hand!! Like I had an epiphany the other day this man is LITERALLY-like Giorno just longer hair and minus all the trauma; like hear me out!! Blonde pretty boy who looks too pretty to be real,unreasonably strong,showing skin for no reason!!(gio got his chest out for what? Aether wearing a crop top why🤨) have powers that people can’t comprehend,mysterious origins, and they’re both very playful and mischievous; they’re literally like cousins😭(see how my problem is falling for any giorno adjacent characters?💀)you’re traveling w aether getting into all kinds of shenanigans bc trouble follows him like a magnet 🙄and he’s quietly thinking “I am going to absolutely destroy you” like he’s the type so oh so subtly use anemo to blow your clothes,Geo to trip over rocks that were not there before, shocking you w electro 😭 he’s literally a menace bc who’s gone beat his ass?? He’s the honorary knight what would they even say if they caught him Fucking your throat on the roof of the favonious HQ? He’s saved Liyue from Osial and his wife! What they don do if they see him balls deep in you in some tucked away some corner of the Jade palace, LITERALLY FOUGHT GOD AND WON IF THEY KNEW WHATS FOOD FOR THEM THEY WOULD MIND THEIR BUSINESS IF THEY HEARD HIM BLOWING YOUR BACK OUT IN THE TEAHOUSE!! Ayato is a messy ass bitch he would recommend a bathhouse that’s on the outskirts of Inazuma city that has wonderful acoustics just in case he wanted to hear you moans echo🥰 like aether isn’t from this world so his dick would be out if this world as well. Literally the 😏 emoji like he gets up early to finish his daily commissions and get paimon breakfast so he can come back and sweet talk you into letting him cum inside you at like 9am he’s nothing if not clever! Pissing him off to get him to use that god destroying >>> using electro on his dick to overstimulate you, seeing you get a little too friendly with childe or zhongli (bc me too lmao) so he has to remind you he’s better than them🥰 bc he has a cute face but he can be mean asf when he wants to be; sitting and looking at you with a blank face save for the glare burning holes into your head as he makes you bounce on his cock and does absolutely no work as punishment 😔 watching your legs tire out and thrusting up when you stop for even a second rolling his eyes LIKE ITS SOME KIND OF INCONVENIENCE TO HIM “You know, I could always get you off right here,shame you don’t know how to behave” and lazily rubs your clit w his thumb. He loves edging bc he’s a little shit😒 will wait until you admit defeat and put you in a mating press bc he will make sure you can’t move an inch and that you take everything he’s giving you💕 is willing to be tied up and used like the good boy he is🥰
ive never been able to get behind the subby uwu characterization of aether like even when he's shipped w childe and others... idk to me he's strong and puts UP a fight regardles of who he is with!!! so i get you i really do
HAHAHAHA no hes a grown ass man who is over 500 years old... he's seen shit and has been with people before! affection and intimacy is not something new to him!! so why do people act like he's never dealt w romance before in his life!
now..... comparing him with giorno,,,, you do understand you're setting aether up my dear? like this is DON GIORNO we are talking about but with your reasoning i can say that i now understand. and its not your fault for falling for giorno or giorno substitutes like he's the best yandere there is, you cant be blamed!
i love aethers crop top he's so cute i just have to say that
WAHHHHHHHH THE PERV HEADCANNONS W AETHER ARE GONNA MAKE MY MIND EXPLODE... that is TOO good, how do you come up w this stuff im literally in shock like that got me good. also... to add... he could use dendro to create an aphrodisiac right? like a natural dust- idk!
no bc aether can get away w anything on the planet now and no one can stop him like he has four nations under his belt backing him up- no one stands a chance! (except my ice wifey archon!!!)
now see aether getting jealous would lose me bc bae,,, why don't we all just share! like he's mad over childe and alhaitham... BRING THEM IN THE ROOM TOO! there's enough room in his teapot for all of us and we all got enough holes too!
we need more abyss prince!aether i like when they have no life in their eyes... thinking abt that! he wants to get rid of the archons i say DO IT (raiden and venti hide under my bed),,, i'll advocate w him!
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I don't know this person you're talking about. But when I say "childlike", I am not referring to ped*philia or anything s*xual. "Childlike" refers to innocence and purity, obedience, a sense of wonder, avoiding cynicism. It's saddening that you would even associate it with degenerate practices
You know what's funny with people like you? It's that you NEVER feel entitled to hound men about becoming more of a uwu childlike innocent smol bean uwu like you do with women
As far as I know, when Jesus said to be like the children who ran to him, he wasn't surrounded by women (only), right? So why you do we never see you bothering Christian men (saying much more incendiary & disgusting things that I ever did) about being more uwu innocent and demure uwu ?
Why are you assuming (Christian) women should be those mono dimensional being that would spend all day daydreaming in a childlike wonder? Newsflash: 1) women are a multitude 2)we live in a society™️. IDK about you, but I don't feel like a smol helpless fragile woman uwu whenever I manage my company, have to do taxes or budgeting. Women have dimensions that go beyond being a wallflower waiting to be picked. Women are as much entitled to be angry at wickedness and vocal about it as men do.
God gave us a brain and when he told us to be "harmless like a dove and wise like a serpent" this was also about us. God Himself acknowledges the ambivalence of His children, but *you* can't ? God didn't make Eve a flying vagina who's only purpose was to be impregnated by Adam. She had a role, a mission (protect the Garden of Eden), a sense of self and even assertiveness (which unfortunately got used for a wrong cause).
And don't gaslight me saying that women should be "CHILD like" has nothing to do with pedophilia. When Jesus used children to make his point, it was about the fact that those children instinctively & without judgement went to him as they recognized him as their lord, not to be romantically picked by a man.
If you truly believed in what you're saying, you would pick a simpleton just with enough money to provide for your wifey lifestyle. But you won't because you KNOW it takes brain & emotional maturity to be an actual functioning husband. So why wouldn't it be the case for women? NOTHING in gender roles points towards the wife being less responsible or (emotionally) mature than her husband. Because you internalized the pedophile narrative that grown women are supposed to relate to children (characterized by emotional immaturity and helplessness) for all their life to be deemed desirable/wifeable. The person I referred in my previous post was exactly like that. People like you entertaining this agenda especially (especially under filmsy churchy excuses) are the exact reason we are so quick to clock that out. Because we are soooo tired of this unbiblical fetishy bs.
Don't lecture me about being "masculine" when your whole behavior and mindset is the one of the typical lecherous churchy scrote
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