#You were living my dream TwT

[chaosduckies]

OMG ME AND MY FRIEND USED TO DO MINECRAFT G/T !!

we didn't know what g/t was then but she was like "what if we build...like a reeeaaalllyyy big house.." , it was on a huge scale and we were basically borrowers

we also pretended to be tinies when we were younger :3

100% sure she's a g/t fan now

AGHHH

I wish I had that experience haha (those houses must’ve taken forever to build-)

But heck yeah, childhood friends who’s also into g/t? That’s the dream :3

[lunarharp]

figured i'd do this again..bit early i guess..

[imsilay]

I love your stalker König, have you considered writing about him kidnapping the reader?

Kidnapping them, locking them in his home so that when he comes back from his missions he can play “house” and “make love to his little wife”. Age gap is also always so good 🩷

IT WAS ON MY MIND BUT WHEN YOU REQUESTED IT I HAD TO WRITE ilysm <3

SOAR

NSFW! mdni +18, cw: kidnapping, obsessive behavior, fem!reader, König is a fucking delusional, riding, fingering.

word count: 2k

summary: Your sweet captor König fucking you after coming back to home from a long mission.

next part here

art cr: yashk_pucyet on twt

An ominous whistle echoed through the hall as he made his way to the front door of his apartment. The way he walked, his hands on his pockets and long steps, told how delighted he was to finally be back home. Other soldiers were already at the bar, celebrating their victory. But for him it was different. He didn’t wanted alcohol and woman. He wanted you. That was why he was rushing to home. He couldn’t wait to see his sweet wife, to worship his prize, to use his pet. He was aching to have you in his arms, your legs wrapped around his waist as he did basically everything in the house. He was clingy yes. He knew it but didn’t care. You were his already. So that meant he could do anything he wanted with you.

He already had his keys when he arrived at the door. Impatiently unlocking the door and kicking his shoes off. He closed and locked the door. A wont. “I’m back meine Königin.” he said not too loudly. He wouldn’t want to startle you because it was midnight and he knew you didn’t like loud noises. He walked through living room, it was designed simple; a couch and a tv unit with some plants, he could buy better but it was safe if it was small and basic. The door of your shared bedroom opened as he decided to stay silent in case you were sleeping. His heart hammer his chest when he saw your sleeping form in his bed. the sheets covered some of your body but the way your pajama pants was slid up exposing your soft thigh made his head spin.

See? He didn’t need any alcohol, you were intoxicating enough for him. “Meine Königin.” he purred as he quickly took of his gear and other clothes until he was just in his boxers. His mask was thrown away for him to find tomorrow. He climbed on the bed next to you. His massive body took the majority of the space but he wasn’t complaining. This way you were more close with him.

He gently turned your body towards him and took a sharp breath when he saw you wasn’t wearing any bra. “Nein, i should let you sleep. I don’t want my wife to be mad at me.” he mumbled as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you onto his chest. “I missed you so much, meine Königin.” he whispered and kissed your cheek. You clinged to his body unconsciously for more warmth. The way your body pressed against his -especially the feeling of your breasts underneath your t-shirt- made him want to take you there but he has to be patient. Until you wake up and notice his presence.

Well… He wasn’t a patient man. Not after witnessing how easily can people die. If he wanted something, he had to have it right then. That was why he kidnapped you. You, his innocent little girl, so young and naive. It wasn’t hard to gain your trust, you loved everyone. He just waited until you were independent from your family and had your own life. New friends, new neighbors, new job… It all made you feel like you were in a dream. Everything was too perfect. Until one day you heard a loud noise in your house then everything went black. That was when he took you for himself. The first year was like hell. You were constantly trying to escape, breaking everything in the house and throwing fits. But could you really do anything to harm him? That mountain of a man? He could kill everyone who was in his way. And unfortunately the destination was you. It was almost pitiful that how desperate he was for you. He didn’t really hurt or hit you. Even when you tried to escape he just found you and brought you back to his house. In his words “Our home.”

“Maus.” he purred as his hand slide underneath your t-shirt caressing your waist. His lips inches away from yours aching to capture them. Your eyes opened slowly when you felt and heard him. “I’m home.” he mumbled as he brushed his lips against your cheek. When you finally processed what was going on you tried to move away immediately. “Let go of me!” you scowled and pushed him by his chest. He chuckled lightly and pulled you back to your position on his chest. “The harder you push me, the harder i will pull you back.” he whispered and kissed your cheek. “As much as i love your spirit, i’m tired, Maus.” his voice was giving away how tired he was. Yet there was more. You knew it. “What do you want from me?” you mumbled as you stopped squirming. Your heart was beating like crazy, you knew you had no chance against him. “I want you to love me. But i know it’s too much to ask. I don’t deserve you, meine Königin.” your heart ache for a moment. But then you remembered that he was your captor. Your heart filled with rage again. He smiled softly and caressed your waist. “But you know the other thing i want.” his hand squeezed your waist and his lips brushed against your chin. His lips kissing you wherever he could reach, but your lips.

He still haven’t kissed you since he kidnapped you. He would fuck you until you can’t remember your name but that was it. He told you the reason why he didn’t kissed you during a vulnerable moment of his. He was listening to your heartbeat after a nightmare and speaking to you even if you just caressed his hair and didn’t answered him. “I want to kiss you so bad, Maus. I really do. But i don’t want to ruin you. I’m just a pathetic man who is trying to make you love me. So, i want you to kiss me when you love me.” that was his sweet words before he eat you out. Ironic, isn’t it?

A soft sigh escaped from your lips when he kissed your neck and his hand down your body. “I want you to ride me. I want you to sit on my cock like it’s your throne, meine Königin.” he whispered as he grounded his hard on against your clothed cunt. You whimpered when you felt his hard cock against your stomach. He was away from home for a month and you haven’t since done anything for yourself. So you were already wet for him. “You should take care of your husband~” he purred. “You’re not my husband. You’re just a psycho.” you moaned as he kissed the sensitive skin of your neck. “I suggest you to choose your words wisely, Maus.” he mumbled and bit your shoulder as a warning. “And how could you deny me when you’re this wet f’me, hm?” he chuckled lightly after pushing his fingers into your panties making you shudder and moan. His fingers found your clit and started rubbing it slowly. Making you wetter and ready for him. Your head dropped to his shoulder and small moans escaped from your lips. He groaned when your hot breath hit his neck. His neck was the most sensitive spot on his body. Were you doing it on purpose? Knowing how he cum in his pants when you kissed him on the neck first time?

“Maus stop- i want to cum inside you.” he mumbled and with a quick maneuver you were sitting on top of his crotch. He groaned and his hips buck upwards to meet yours. The thin fabric of your underwears did nothing. He still felt how wet and warm you were. You also whined and rock your hips. You were so desperate for a release and he was the only thing in hand. Your attempts to satisfy yourself was failed because he made you addicted to his big and thick cock, your small fingers weren’t enough. One of your hands rested on his chest as you tugged down your underwear with other. “Scheiße, Maus.” his cock twitched in his boxers at the sight. He knew you wanted him as much as he do. And it made him go feral. But he managed to stay still and watched you. You were aching for his cock but it wouldn’t fit if you weren’t opened enough. Your gaze dropped to his hands on your waist. You took one of his hands and he raised an eyebrow with curiosity but he let you lead it whenever you wanted. You took his middle and ring finger inside your mouth and moaned. Your head spun from just thinking about having it inside your tight cunt. He felt like he was having a heart attack when you sucked and covered his thick and lengthy fingers with your salvia. He let you do all the work as you grounded against his clad cock and wet his fingers. When you took his fingers out of your mouth and gave him a desperate look, he knew what you wanted. So he stuck his fingers into your dripping hole making you whimper and buck your hips. “Just like that, Maus. Ride my fingers.” he fingered your little hole as his free hand supported you by your waist. “So verdammt süß.” he hissed and picked up the pace. His fingers effortlessly finding all the spots in your tight cunt. “You’re so tight, Maus. Did you wait for me like a good wife, hm?” he mumbled as he felt you were close and added another finger. You whined and your walls clenched around his thick fingers. You cum unannounced and he groaned when you cum with just his fingers. “König.” you whimpered and your hands grabbed his forearms when he pulled his fingers out. “I know it’s not enough meine Königin.” he cooed and lifted you up a little to free his precum leaking cock. He didn’t even had the patience to take off his boxers fully. He positioned you on his cock and let you take it in slowly, giving you time to adjust his size. He groaned when your walls sucked him in greedily. “Guess someone missed me.” he mumbled and caressed your hips while you sit on his cock. “Here. Right here is where you belong, Maus.” he grabbed you by hips and made you bounce on his cock. His head tipped back and he let out a low groan. He was living for this moment. When he’s on a mission he would count the days until he meet you again. His beautiful wife.

This position allowed him to be deep inside you and it made you even more desperate. Your moans and whines filled the room as he mercilessly bounced you up and down on his cock. The tip of his cock hit your cervix and you whimpered. “König it’s too deep.” you dug your nails into his forearms. He groaned and picked up the pace. It wasn’t like you were riding him anymore. He was slamming you down on his cock with his giant strength. “Slow down!” you whimpered when he hit your cervix again. “Admit that i’m your husband. Then i will consider.” he growled as he fucked you mercilessly. “Fuck-“ you cried when he didn’t even slow down a bit. “You’re my husband, König. Please.” you managed to say. “Braves Mädchen.” he purred and slowed down just a bit. “Say it again.” he slapped your hips and smirked delightfully. His big hand covered your hips as he slammed his hips into yours rapidly. You slurred that he was your husband over and over until he finally cum deep inside you. He rubbed your clit so you cum along with him.

You collapsed on his chest as he pulled out his cock. His semen dripped from your hole and you buried your head into his neck. You hated him so much for ruining your life but you were also desperate to have his love and affection. “Meine Königin.” he cooed and rubbed your back in small circles. “We’re not finished.” he kissed your forehead when you protested with a whine.

a/n: please support me by reblogging, if you liked the content ofc <3 your comments also makes my day :* and i try to reply all of them :>

also i post everyday -sometimes 2 posts in a day- so if you follow me i won’t disappoint ;)

i promise i will write the stalker x stalker after this lol

if you liked this story you’ll love this

[jjoneechan]

🔥 SAPNAP START SCREEN: THE PROCESS 🔥

Here’s all the shots not included in the final!

Some were scrapped, either because the animation was too complicated (like dancing 😭💀) or I couldn’t find a way to make it transition smoother into the next.

Some were changed like the pokeball throw, jettnap, and skateboard into a more dynamic shot!

My favorite scenes were the ASL intro, the punch scene, and the knife tricks! The very first rough was posted on my twitter!

Everything was drawn on Procreate! Lots of canvases and back ups, only 25 scenes were used in the final! I got permission to stream my process on twitch to help stay productive!

300 hours of drawing and 480 frames later, I imported my Procreate files into Procreate Dreams and it is a mess 😭 idk how to edit and composite, there’s groups in groups in groups 😭😭

it’s been stressful lmao I felt guilty for not updating him enough on my process, felt paranoid that I was gonna be replaced with another artist, and felt cringe at the way I would message him (too formal! 💀) I also felt I would be bothering him if I made fanart and tagging him for it, so I haven’t made much Sapnap fanart either! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I’M SO HAPPY IT’S OUT AND PUBLIC AND SEEING THE REACTIONS LIVE IS SO COOL!!

Thank you so much for this opportunity to make something awesome! Thanks for the amazing support and putting up with me! 🔥

VIDEO POST HERE

FULL VERSION(?) ON TWT

[verinarin]

𝐂𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 - 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟𝐬

angst with comfort | he didn’t come today, you don’t miss him do ?

an. Miss me ?, I hope you do miss me since this is my first full fledged angst I write for Ratio, I hope you guys enjoy ! ヽ(；▽；)

art by @/hsgbisuw on twt

It was a calm day, too calm for your liking. Usually at this precise second Veritas Ratio would knock on your doors with all of his might and glory, how could he not ?. You were doomed to be woven into his research by the looms of fate, yet he’s not here.

He was never late before, likewise he was also never early. Right at 12 o’clock he would knock on your door, yet he isn’t, not today. Why ? you asked yourself. It is unnatural for you to let that man live in your head rent free, yet he broke something constant between you both. zAs much as you hate how better his thesis compares to yours, his gentle scoffs as he oversees your draft, you can’t help but to respect the candid fellow or at least respect his dreams and values.

Missing him however was not on your list, you don’t hold any fondness towards him, just respect. Only respect, or at least that’s what you like to convince yourself of. Yet your actions spoke differently, from staring at your phone, waiting for an explanation for his absence, staring at the clock. Patiently counting how long it has been since his supposed arrival, yet he never came.

The clock strikes at 8 in the evening, it is sufficient to say that he’s not coming, you wanted to text him for a reschedule or to simply ask his whereabouts but you didn’t. Since there’s no need to do so, he has shown his resolve by his actions. Perhaps you bore him so he decided to substitute you for another brilliant mind, no harm no foul, you thought.

As you stood up from your desk to pack your belongings, a twist on your door knob could be heard, that means that the person behind the door must've had important matters to attend to you since they skipped the courtesy to knock on your door, at this hour nonetheless.

Once you turned your gaze towards the door, low and behold Veritas Ratio with all of his flaws full on displayed for you, his usually groomed hair, now damp as well as the rest of his clothes, he looks like a wet dog you thought, “I’m quite late aren’t I ?,” he chuckled as he brushed through his wet hair.

“What brings you here ?, it is well past our usual schedule,” you walked towards him with a concerned look on your face, he let out a small chuckle as he made himself comfortable on your couch.

“Well excuse my late arrival, I had matters to attend to,” he replied vaguely, not wanting to disclose whatever it was he was attending.

“It is best for you to not come at all, it’s already late for us to start our thesis,” you sat beside him as you examined his whole stature, his breathing patterns are erratic, it contradicts his usual calm pattern.

“I’m not here to talk about our little project I’m afraid,” oh that’s new !, you felt a sudden rush through your body, in a way your flight or fight sense has been activated.

“Oh ?, so why the sudden visit ?,” you asked, gazing straight at his face, his sharp features glistening beautifully underneath the moonlight, the sight would leave anyone who gazed upon in breathless, yourself included but he didn’t need to know that of course.

“Do you not miss me ?, or search for me at all ?, are you not concerned with my wellbeing ?,” he asked calmly as he looked towards you, like a deer caught in headlights you freeze.

That was not a reply you were hoping, it was a trap.

Now your mind starts to isolate itself into a total state of seclusion, ignoring the man beside you, riddled with his own inquisitive mind pondering the answers to his question.

Did you miss his companion ? perhaps.

Did you search for him ?,you did ask Aventurine about his whereabouts, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Are you concerned with his well being ?, you might have. Proven by the fact that you had to physically restrain yourself from searching for him.

“No, I do not care about you that much I’m afraid, we’re just colleagues after all,” you lied, for reasons you can’t disclose. He simply scoffs as he folds his arms together; a self pitying laughter could be heard seconds afterward.

“I see, then can you perhaps prove your claims,” he smiles.

His expression, so sincere and true that it scares you to a certain degree. You’re horrified how easily he steps inside your heart. With just a mere smile he could do that, how gruesome.

“Sure, let’s get this over with,” you replied and with that he leaned closer towards your ear, you could hear your own heartbeat, matching his erratic pace. Scary you thought as you sealed your lips shut.

“Are you perhaps familiar with the term Cognitive Dissonance,” his voice lures you, dangerously so to the truth. The truth you weren’t prepared to disclose nor acknowledge.

“Yes, but I don’t see how it connects to whatever it is you want me to prove,” you reply, trying to move on from his argument. As though lost in the middle of the sea, he’s getting close to the shore and you’re not sure if you want him to step on land or to drown.

“You see,” he whispered as his hand tipped your chin forward to meet his eyes, “Your actions contradicts your beliefs, it’s uncomfortable is it, am I getting too close ?, physically or perhaps psychologically ?,” he did it, he really did step foot on uncharted territories.

“Too close, there’s a thin line between us that you’re stepping on Veritas,” you whispered back hoping he would give up on whatever conquest he’s currently embark upon. Yet he dares step closer, leans as close as he could get without scaring you away.

“Is that so ?, would you let me walk to the other side ?,” he asked, his voice as gentle as it could be, in contrast to how stern it used to linger on your ears.

“I-i—” not a single thought could form in your mind, the things he implied. You’re scared to misinterpret the situation, making yourself a fool in front of him.

“Don’t think, feel. Would you let me cross to the other side ?,” he whispers in which it successfully breaks you from your trance.

He reached at your hand, guiding it against his own beating heart as his forehead rested on yours. You could feel his palpitation, his warmth, his sincerity.

You could feel him, not perceive him anymore.

You feel him with all of his sincerity and tenderness.

“Do you miss me ?,” he asked again, patiently waiting for your answer while his lips graze slightly onto yours.

“Yes, I do miss you, Veritas, ”

[gay4abby]

Hi sweet can i request something about sleeping with jordan? like if they would be big or little spoon, if they snore... i bet they murmurs when you leave their arms and smile when see you peacefuly sleeping ❤️‍🩹 I saw someone saying on twt that there is a glimpse of Jordan with his leg over Marie's body when they wake up together and I'm still thinking about it damn 🥴

When You Sleep !!

iiiiii REMEMBER THIS!! EP 5 i rewatched that scene so many times im pretty sure my cia agent was concerned so glad u sent this in hope u enjoy! (y/p stands for your pronouns ☺️) ‹𝟥

⋆ Contrary to popular belief, Jordan is both a little spoon and a big spoon.

⋆ When you guys are cuddling, they like to make sure your head is in between their shoulder blade and neck. Having you as close as possible was always a must for Jordan.

⋆ The pair of you like to take naps together in either dorm room, planning on sleeping for only 2 hours but then waking up and realising it's three a.m.

⋆ It's funny actually, you'll miss class and then you're both sweaty from all the maneuvering which means you have to take a shower. And what better way to get cleaned properly than having someone there to make sure you got all the right places.

⋆ Jordan likes to have their hand cradling your neck while they sleep. A lot of time you'll feel their hand brushing along the nape of your neck, drawing circles along the hairline. Sometimes it’s fine unconsciously, others is when they’re anxiety is through the roof and they need some grounding.

⋆ Whenever you’re sleeping, Jordan sometimes lays watch just to study you. They actually can’t believe they’ve met someone as divinely perfect as you and it sometimes makes them second guess themselves.

⋆ Jordan doesn’t snore, but they do this thing where it seems like they’ll stop breathing for a second and it scares the living shit out of you that they have to tell you it’s completely normal and they can’t really do anything about it.

⋆ They have full blown conversations in their sleep! One time, you guys were napping and you thought you were dreaming until you turned around to see Jordan just…talking. Like as if they were awake.

⋆ “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” “It wasn’t supposed to go there and now you’ve gone and fucked it all up!” “You’ve ruined the surprise what if (y/p) doesn’t like it anymore ):” AND YOU’LL SEE THE FROWN TOO RIGHT AFTER THEY SAY THAT.

⋆ Their dreams are very vivid and you’ll catch them reenacting whatever the fuck is going on in their heads. It’s nothing ever traumatic, just sweet wholesome dreams that consist of them always wanting to do something for you.

⋆ “Babe, you were talking in your sleep again.” “I was? Fuck! Did I say anything embarrassing?”

⋆ They’re so clingy!!! You’ll wake up from your over extended nap and find your limbs completely tangled up with Jordan’s. And depending on which form they take during that time, like their male form, you’ll find yourself smothered by their whole body.

⋆ Getting up to pee is a workout. Even though Jordan is much smaller than you in their female form, their strength is an unbeatable match. They’ll have their arm secured tightly around your waist and when you try to move it’s rock solid so you’ll just bounce back with a huff.

⋆ Blanket hogger Jordan Li! My god, trying to share a blanket with them is like participating in a tug of war match. You love sleeping with them, so that’s why you always make sure to have your own blanket when you take your nap sessions.

⋆ Jordan smiles in their sleep, A LOT. Like sometimes you think you’re going crazy, but they be cheesing and you always wonder what’s going on in that pretty head of theirs.

⋆ Jordan likes it when you fall asleep first because they want to make sure you’re safe and sound before drifting off. They’re always on high alert before your nap sessions and they sometimes thinks it’s too much, but you always reassure them that you love it badly.

⋆ So, Jordan talking in their sleep. Let’s get back to that. If it’s not full blown sentences, you’ll catch them just softly saying your name over and over again. Like a mantra.

⋆ You’re in class and Jordan has a day off, you’ll get a string of texts telling you to come back to their room when you’re done with classes because they have something prepared. And you walk into their dorm to see a mountain of clouds (it’s a bunch of blankets) on the ground with a makeshift awning.

⋆ “Surprise!” “What’s all this?” “We’re barricading ourselves in my dorm for the entire weekend and you can’t say no.” “Wasn’t going to anyway, baby.”

⋆ You both wear each others clothes before you take a nap because “it makes you feel closer to one another,” you guys are disgustingly cute.

⋆ Jordan in their female form cuddling you is so adorable!!!!! because she has both arms wrapped around you from the back so even if their arm falls asleep they wouldn’t care. She quite literally disappears when she’s behind you.

⋆ Depending on the length of your hair and texture, Jordan would sometimes play with the strands while you sleep (and if you don’t have any hair at all, they’ll just massage your temples and give you head rubs ): I’m choking).

⋆ Jordan moves a lot in their sleep. When you both started your nap sessions, they were hesitant because they hope that didn’t bother you. After you guys woke up, he asked if it did and you looked at him confused like ??? What the fuck are you talking about?

⋆ “So I didn’t move at all?” “Jordan, what? We were in the same position for 2 hours.” And alarm bells go off in their head like !!!!!!! you’re my cure!!!!

⋆ Since your naps span on for hours, you’ll both wake up thirsty and sweaty, prompting them to dive into their mini fridge to get you both cold water bottles.

⋆ Jordan doesn’t like the pillows you have because they said that it’s not as comfortable as it is laying on you. So when they’re the little spoon and the nap session is happening in your dorm, you are their human body pillow!!!

⋆ And when they’re the big spoon, they just bring their own pillows lol.

⋆ Nap sessions have become tradition with you both since you’re both always so sleepy. Jordan never passes up the opportunity to be able to nap with you, it’s a different level of intimacy that Jordan isn’t used to.

⋆ You make them crave domesticity, so the naps give them a semblance of that. You are their home and they feel comfortable being able to sleep however when it’s with you.

[blublublujk]

i just fucked your girl (and she loved it)

oneshot

word count: 11k

genre: established relationship (reader x namjoon), dark/morally gray characters and decisions

pairings: ghost hoseok x y/n and y/n x fiancé namjoon

summary:

A very lonely, horny ghost comes to haunt your dreams (and fulfills your every sexual desire).

warnings: oh my god get ready this is gonna get long. swearing, cheating?? (is it really cheating if he's dead? i'll let you decide), explicit sexual content; sexual "nightmares", unprotected vaginal sex AND anal (ITS TIME :D), rough sex, sub/dom dynamics, no safe word, submission, dirty talk, hoseok refers to people he comes across as victims (he doesn't force anyone i promise, not unless they want to ofc), masturbation, fingering, petplay? (the reader likes being called kitten), slight hand kink, slut shaming (oopsies), use of spit (oops again), use of lube, hickeys, lots of begging, hoseok's a bit mean but the ending will make it up a bit ISTG, namjoon's an innocent sweetheart, reader feels a lot of guilt, ass play (YAY), rimming (YAY pt2), mentions to gay sex and clown kink (you'll see), hoseok's like a ghost sex worker and the reader sorta manifests him, sex toys, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, spanking, come shot, blowjob, hair pulling, daddy kink, breast play, creampie, a bit of a sad/angsty ending, so sorry if anything is missing I RLLY TRIED

btw there's sex scenes between namjoon and the reader AND hoseok and the reader so they both get their share.

a.n: happy fucking halloween. sorry this got a little sad towards the end, but i hope you guys love it as much as i do. i think i'll live in this world for a while. i'm so obsessed with this probably, my favorite work yet. i think this is my smuttiest work too? idk. i was gonna delete like half of it because i hate myself sometimes but i figured you guys would enjoy something a little longer so i typed and typed until my lil heart desired and this beast was created. btw i finished this at exactly 6:13pm. i thought i'd let yall know, if anyone's as crazy as me :D im so curious what you guys think about this one so feel free to comment (only if you want too ofc ^.^) idk when i'll be back with something new but please be patient with me. i promise im not leaving lol i just get busy. OKIE THIS IS SO LONG SORRY AND ENJOY. byeee <3

p.s. i do plan to write an epilogue cuz this got crazy at the end. so much left unsaid. my brain is sooo... lol

—> m.list

—> welcome me on ao3 & twt

--

It was the same damn nightmare. 

For the past three weeks you had been waking up in coldsweat, heart nearly beating out of your chest, breathing so out of control. You could barely hold yourself up.

And still somehow, you woke up drenching your panties of your own slick arousal.

It was the same nightmare from yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that. You would end up in a dark, ominous apartment. It was yours, but somehow different. The apartment was pitch black, flashing red lights from time-to-time, as if someone in the building had pulled the emergency alarm. You would crumble in your bed, closing your eyes and praying it would end soon. That’s when he would appear. 

A man in all black, long dark tousled hair. His teeth were bright, you could tell by the smile on his face while he watched you wither away in your sheets. The glow in his dull, sharp eyes would shine even in the dark. 

He watched as you squirmed in your bed, feeling heavy, unable to stand by your own strength.

“Don’t force it, darling. Take what you need.” The stranger would say with a strong raspy tone, smelling your arousal fall into the sheets below your bottom. You were always bare in your nightmares as if you were waiting and submitting for him.

You couldn’t resist the feeling. At his call, your fingers would come to relieve the ache between your thighs. Playing with yourself as if you were alone, but it was far from the truth. He would watch as you pumped yourself two fingers deep, sighing and whimpering, satisfied that you no longer felt empty. 

Sometimes, well no most times, he would join you in your nightmares. He would tear your hands from your leaking cunt sparing mercy and you would complain against your sheets. The stranger wasn’t that bad, not for long at least, because he would fill you with his own two fingers, his eyes would dilate watching you fall apart. He was smooth and precise, he would curve his fingers, hitting your g-spot right on target, loving the sinful sounds you made as you arched your back and yelled moans without holding back. 

Once he was satisfied and right as you were about to explode, he would pull away, whipping his hard, swollen cock out of his pants and tugs on himself, forcing you to watch as he pleased himself . Of course you wanted it, but this was so wrong, very wrong. 

The worst part is he wouldn’t just give it to you, he would make you beg for it. “Talk to me baby, you want it?”

You would shake your head, denying him and trying to pull yourself from under him, but realistically it is all you wanted. You wanted to taste the beads that fell from the slit of his hard cock. He was fucking big and that itself made you go fucking insane, his hands wrapped around his length nicely. You tried to stop your thoughts from going any further, but your imagination was a powerful thing, thinking about how his pretty hands would feel wrapped around your throat instead of his dick. 

“Oh, you don’t? Maybe I’ll just leave you like this then.” He would say and it fucked with your head. 

That was the last thing you wanted. “But– m’ so empty.”

“Then beg for it slut, you don’t have to be empty and lonely for long.” His tongue was smooth and wet against your skin as he licked down your throat, sucking little marks onto your skin. He had you wrapped around his fucking fingers and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it. You wanted to move but at the same time, you wanted him to have his way with you. God can forgive you for this later. 

“I c-can’t.” 

“What a shame. I’ll just take care of myself and leave you here to watch.” He would start pumping his cock faster, tugging at the crown of his length. 

You made an agonizing sound of complaint. “Please.”

“Please what little kitten?” 

He was mean. So mean. 

And you were fucking stupid. 

“Please, f-fuck me.” You begged so sweetly.

The man would smile sinisterly before shoving himself deep inside you, forcing a scream of pleasure. He was not gentle in any way and you fucking liked that. As sick as it was.

He fucked you like his only mission was to make you come and drive you insane, pushing your legs far apart and brutally fucking deep into your walls.

He would watch you fall into your sheets, murmuring noncoherent words, completely submitting to the stranger you fell apart in his complete mercy. 

What an honor. 

“That's it baby. Squirt all over my dick.” His voice was always deep and you swore you could hear a smirk between his words. 

Like magic his words would rip intense orgasms out of you and he would fuck you through them all until you eventually collapsed unconscious.

You wake up in a gasp, the wet feeling between your legs nearly makes you gag. 

This can’t be. Not again.

“Baby, wake up.” A voice calls gently, soft hands soothe your back, patting and rubbing gently. “It’s just a nightmare, love. I’m here.”

“Joonie?”

“Yes baby. I’m here, go back to bed. I’ve got you.” His calm voice manages to settle the beating drum of your heart and still, this is the exact problem with these recurring nightmares. 

Even as your fiancé rubs circles into your back, all you can think of is the hands of that strange man that would fuck you into a delrious state. You hated it. It felt too close to cheating. 

If only Namjoon saw what your nightmares truly consisted of, he would be horrified and disgusted. Every night was worse, the guilt slowly started building in the pit of your stomach as you would daydream about the nightmare over and over and over. 

…

“You okay baby?” Namjoon’s voice was gentle, aware that your mind was somewhere else during dinner.

“I- yes.” But you weren’t okay. Not one bit. Flashbacks of the man in your nightmares would haunt your thoughts. These nightmares would play in your head like old memories.

His hooded eyes watching as you fucked yourself open. He would whisper things like, ‘that’s it kitten, so fucking wet all for me’ and ‘good kitten, nice and tight for me’. 

“Imagine what your fiancé would do if he saw the way you squirm in my hands. He could never fuck you the way I could, kitten. Isn't that right? Only I fuck you exactly the way you like it. My little submissive kitten.” 

“Please.” Begging is all you could muster to do in your dreams. You felt pathetic. You never wanted someone so bad. The guilt only grew stronger when you realized you were fucking addicted to your own dreams. You started chasing these nightmares. 

What was wrong with you? 

“Baby?” Namjoon called your attention once again, smiling apologetically. “You feeling okay? Your face is quite flushed.”

Your hands fall onto your face feeling the slight burn against your palms. “Sorry. I’m okay, just a little hot in here is all.” 

“It’s the end of October baby. It’s been really cold out. I’m surprised you aren't begging me to warm you up by now.” He tries to carry the conversation into a lighter, more casual matter. 

A nervous smile breaks out onto your lips, as you brush a piece of hair out of your face. “Must just be experiencing hot flashes. It happens when I’m a bit more stressed than usual.”

“Anything you wanna talk about? You know you can talk to me.” He’s sweet and present for you as usual. You feel your heart drop thkining about how this is what you are missing out on by feeding into those stupid fucking nightmares. Something had to change. 

Wake up, Y/N. 

“Yeah, I know babe. It’s nothing to worry about. Just work stuff.” You make an excuse for yourself and it seems to work, for now. 

“Mm, okay. Don’t be afraid to come to me for anything. I don’t want you suffering alone.” Your fiancé places a hand on top of yours, squeezing it softly. 

“Thank you, Joonie.” This time you give him a real smile, but the guilt still stays hidden deep inside you watching as he reciprocates the smile back at you.

“There’s my beautiful bride-to-be. Stop worrying so much baby. Maybe you should take some time off from work. You know sleep usually makes you feel better. It always has. My sleepy girl.” 

And there it goes and hits you all at once again. 

Guilt. So much guilt. Sleep doesn’t even feel enough these days. The nightmares make you feel as if you never rest. You are clearly aware that dreams aren’t real life, but you even wake up sore from them. It’s scary how realistic it all feels. Maybe that’s why this makes it worse for you. Everything feels too real.

“Yeah… I’ll think about it.” But you won't because time off means resting and resting means more sleep and more time for these nightmares to keep haunting you. It’s like you will never win. 

“Eat your dinner baby, it's getting cold.” 

—-

The daydreams continue even at work. 

“Let me see that perfect ass, kitten. Turn around for me.” 

It’s like he completely owns you, hypnotized by his voice. You immediately present for him, face down and ass up sitting so nicely. 

“Fuck kitten, look at you. Tell me, does that lame fiancé of yours ever play with this ass?” 

You whimper a ‘no’ feeling a glob of spit drip into your unused, virgin hole. His thumb caressing the wet ring of muscle, watching you clench around nothing.

“I’ll change that soon, kitten. Just how you like it.” 

Namjoon wasn’t necessarily opposed to butt stuff, the one time you mentioned it he briefly dismissed it. Granted, he was busy at the time with some work, and you were too embarrassed to bring it up again. 

It seems you got lucky nonetheless. 

The man blows hot air into your wet hole, his lips felt soft against your ass. He would leave a kiss here and there before his tongue peaked out and circled around your rim. 

“Yes, yes, yes.” You weren’t the most vocal sexual partner yet somehow, under his touch, you were the loudest. 

Moans fell dangerously loud from your lips as he would continue to fuck his tongue deep inside your ass. Stopping every few seconds to stare at your puffy rim, gaping around nothing. Fuck, what a sight for sore eyes you were. 

“Please.” 

“What baby?” His palm was heavy against your ass, watching it bounce back. 

“More.” You would beg. 

“Anything.” He would purr back. 

A thumb circled around the velvety muscle before pushing right in, fucking his thumb alongside spit that dripped from his mouth. 

Yes. Just how you like it.

“Y/N?” Your coworker brushes a hand against your shoulder. “You doing okay?” 

“Shit– yeah, my bad Yoona. I’ve just been feeling a bit sick lately, I think I’m coming down with a cold.” Which is a complete lie, but how do you tell your coworker you’re having wet daydreams about another man (who by the way only exists in your imagination) that isn’t your fiancé and that it is taking over every part of your life and that the guilt of it all sits heavy on your chest as days pass by and there is nothing you can do about it, but indulge in these dreams and practically live in them because you’ve become an addict. 

Yoona breathes out a light hum. “You don’t seem sick.” 

Fuck.

“Yeah… well it’s just starting, my throat feels dry and sore these days.”

“Maybe you should take a day off?” She suggests. 

“Yeah, maybe.” You agree just so she gets off your back. 

“You’ve been working a lot these days anyways. I’m sure Mr. Gyun wouldn’t mind if you called off. You’re one of his favorites anyways.” She laughs and you fake a smile. 

“Yeah, right. I’ll think about it. Let's just focus on work. We need this revised and sent off by Monday.” 

“Sure sure. But I’m being serious, take a day off or two, you look like you need it. You seem… tired?” She says, worrying by the sound of her tone. 

Because you know she will never let this go, you reassure her. “Yoona, I love you to death, but don’t worry too much, okay? I’ll take some time off if it gets worse. Thank you, really.”

“Alright, just looking after you Y/N. Your soon-to-be husband would kill me if I didn't.”

“I’ll tell him you’re doing a great job, now back to the transcripts…”

—-

You knew the night would eventually come. 

There was only so much you could ignore and forget. 

A sudden rush of heat wakes you from one of your nightmares, the jolt in your body scaring Namjoon awake beside you. You knew that he meant no trouble, but he gave you the face of ‘this again?’ and you could no longer push it aside. 

“Baby?” Namjoon’s voice is tired and filled with sleep, but he asks anyways while patting your back gently, as he always does when this happens like the sweet fiancé he is. “What happens in these dreams anyways?”

How do you tell your husband-to-be and boyfriend of seven years that you get completely ruined by another man in your sleep? 

Namjoon was far too sweet and innocent to get mad at you for this and you knew that. Yet the guilt never stopped you from feeling terribly about the situation. 

“You won’t be upset with me?” Your voice comes out as a whisper. 

Namjoon stands to turn on the nightlight by the bed before he lays back and wraps his strong arms around your waist. “Baby, look at me.”

With heavy eyes, you look back at your fiancé. 

His palm cradles your soft cheek, pushing a loose hair behind your ear. “I could never be upset with you, my love. It might help to talk your nightmares through. I’ll be right here with you baby.”

With shaking hands, you take a deep breath. “Well, I don’t know where they come from, but there’s this man in my dreams.” 

Namjoon raises a brow, doing his absolute best to understand you even while the clock reads in bold 3:44am. 

“This man, he’s dressed in all black. He— he has these dark eyes.” 

“Dark eyes?” 

“Yeah, he— his eyes are dark, sharp all around, it’s sinister.” 

“Okay. What happens?” He whispers, pulling you even closer into him, your hand falls into his chest for comfort.

“He— he…” You struggle finding the right words. 

Namjoon’s eyes go wide. “Baby, d-does he hurt you?”

No. Of course not. In fact, he does the opposite. The man pleases you until you can’t give him anymore and he leaves you with sore limbs and the burning stretch between your legs as a reminder of what he’s done to you and what he’s capable of. 

You quickly shake your head. “No but he- he touches me and does things to me.”

“Oh honey, why would I be mad at you about that? That’s completely unacceptable. Nobody should be touching you or doing things to you if you don't want it. I see now why this bothers—” 

“Joonie, I feel,” you start and swallow the awful feeling in your throat, “ I feel like… if I've been cheating on you.”

“Baby, I know you would never. They’re just nightmares after all. It’s not like you enjoy it baby.” This is what you mean by Namjoon’s too innocent and kind-hearted to see past the lines between your words. 

“But- I.”

“Wait… do you? Do you enjoy them?” Namjoon almost looks hurt to ask the question, but he’s quick to reassure you. “It’s okay baby, if you do.” 

“I do.” You whisper like it’s some dirty secret.

There’s a pregnant pause before Namjoon pulls you completely flush against his body, rubbing circles behind your back. “It’s okay baby, it's okay. They’re just nightmares. They mean nothing.” 

He kisses your hair for comfort and you let out a sob because they are much more than that to you and you know it. They are all you can think about. Shit, you think if you were given the chance, you would actually let that man have his way with you in real life. And it makes you feel disgusting because you know you enjoy this dynamic way too much.

At first, it was terrifying, you didn’t know the man and he, well he just became a weakness and you wanted him so bad, as much as you hated to admit it. Your imagination was a powerful tool. Why you and why with him? Why couldn’t your dreams be with Namjoon, your high school sweetheart?

“I’m so sorry, Joonie. For all these long nights. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. The nightmares don’t stop, in fact they only feel longer and they get worse.” You cry into his chest. 

“I know honey, it’s not your fault. Just think of me whenever you feel this way, okay?” He pulls back, wiping your tears off with his sleeves. Your fiancé was so fucking sweet and that’s why you fell in love with him in the first place. He was never angry at you or disappointed. Namjoon was always patient with you and a complete sweetheart. God, you’re so fucking stupid. 

“And I’m not mad at you, okay? I never will be. Those nightmares mean nothing to me. I love you Y/N.” Your fiancé whispers into your hair, kissing the side of your face. 

Namjoon has always been way better than you because had you been in his shoes, you couldn’t phantom hearing about him enjoying the presence of another woman. He knew only one part of this story. Namjoon doesn’t know that you spend evenings, the time you have the house alone while he’s off at work, fucking yourself to this strange man’s voice in your head. That you open yourself up just how you do in your nightmares and you swear you hear his voice telling you to keep going. You swear you hear him calling your name asking you about how Namjoon would feel about this. Like if his whole purpose is to make you feel worse about the situation. He’s ruining your life and you’re letting him. You think you’ve given up and it’s just started.

“I- I love you too.” You reply.

Namjoon smiles apologetically, hands gentle against your skin. “Let’s sleep?”

You nod and he pulls you against his hard chest, rubbing your back while he attempts to lull you back to sleep. It eventually comes, but not before you wake to those dark eyes again and the nightmare continues. This time you don't even fight it. He fucks you until you feel yourself collapse and you swear nothing has ever felt better. 

…

The next morning Namjoon gently shakes you awake. “Good morning my love, you slept through your alarm. I figured you could take a day off so I called your boss to let him know you couldn’t come in today. I hope you don't mind.” 

“Joonie?” Your voice is the cutest in the mornings (according to Namjoon), he smiles watching you struggle to wake up. 

“Yes, my baby. I’m just getting ready to leave for work, but I wanted to say goodbye before I leave.”

Well, it’s not like you have a choice so you accept your fate. “Oh, okay. Thank you.”

“No problem, honey. You slept quite well. You didn’t even wake up this time! Did it help? Talking through it?” Again, Namjoon could be so clueless. 

The only reason you slept this well is because you were fucked into oblivion in your dream. As unbelievable as it may sound, you even felt sore down there. But he doesn’t have to know that, so he’ll just go off to work thinking that cuddles and his sweet words drifting you back to sleep actually worked. 

“Yeah… yeah it did. Thank you again. Have a nice day at work.” You say, still warmly tucked in bed. 

“I will, baby. ” He drops a peck into your cheek, smelling the fresh scent of his aftershave. “Call me if anything. See you later, my love.”

And like that you are left alone once again. The only thing that remains is the fluffy feeling of his plump lips buzzing against your cheek, a faint reminder that you are loved and have been for years, while you think about another man, one that only exists in your deepest darkest of dreams. 

—-

Hoseok doesn’t remember how it happened. All he knew is he was standing in a place unknown, sensing there was another being in the room with him. 

It's not his first time around a mortal human. No, in fact he had so much experience with lustful humans with all kinds of desires and wishes, but it has been quite long since he was manifested this strongly into someone’s dreams. 

His favorite part was watching them act as if they didn’t ask for it. Call for him. They would lie and say that they could never fuck a dead being. A ghost at that. As if they didn’t manifest him themselves. 

It's not like it was Hoseok’s fault for dying young and handsome and that now he tends to people’s guiltiest pleasures. It's not like he has anything better to do in the after-life. In reality, he’s doing people a grand fucking favor. The best thing about fucking a dead ghost is there’s absolutely no consequences, at least that’s what he always tells his victims. Unless you get addicted to one, then that’s really a personal problem. They can’t stay on mortal land forever, but for the time being Hoseok has become attached to his time here. Especially with his new little mortal toy. 

When he first heard the calling, he almost missed it. He was fucking another mortal, a man in his mid-twenties to be exact. The man had called for him in his dreams and he attended to his duty with pleasure. 

This man had a thing for clowns and Hoseok wasn’t no fucking clown, but he did his best to please him. His outfit was in all black (of course, it was his favorite color) and fit him quite well though it was different from his usual style, even down to the clown hat and all.

The guy would scream under Hoseok as he would pound into him like some fuck-doll and would have him come undone within minutes. He was so fucking easy to please. They always are.

When Hoseok came to you the first night. That’s how you found him. He still had the same outfit on (he was ripped from the last dream) and his hat had nearly fallen off in the process, but he was pleased when he came across his next victim. You were beautiful. 

“Who— who are you?” You screeched, covering yourself up, cheeks flushed. You had been doing unspeakable things to yourself in the dream. “What are you doing in my room?!”

Hoseok smiles. God, they always are the same. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to and don’t mind me, keep doing what you were doing before I had rudely interrupted.”

The stranger goes to sit by the vanity in your room, making himself extremely comfortable as if it is a regular Tuesday night for him. 

You try to stand and it's like something washes over you. The strange force pushes you back down and you have no choice but to take it. 

The man chuckles, throwing his hat aside. “Don’t hurt yourself trying. Just let your instincts guide you. Tell me what it is you want, this will all go much smoother and much faster.” 

The stranger in black winks and you feel disgusted (though your pussy doesn’t seem to agree with you).

Still you manage to say, “I want you to get out of my fucking room. I’m about to get married, you know and he’ll fucking kill you.” 

“Ohhh.” He purrs, standing as he walks across the room. He stops a couple steps from your bed and leans down to match your height. “But you asked for me to come, baby. So guess what? Now I am your problem.”

He pinches your nose, wrinkling his own in the process and flashes a charming smile. 

You swat his hand off you almost immediately. “I— I didn’t ask for anything. I don’t even know you and I don’t want to know you.” 

“Mm, but soon we’ll know each other very well. Let’s not fight this.” The man’s voice is silky and you could practically see the sinful desire in his eyes while they take in your naked figure. 

You have no idea what he even means by that, but right now you could care less. This is just a nightmare and soon enough, he will disappear and you will get to go back to doing what you were doing before he ever existed. 

“Leave me alone please.” 

The guy puts his hands up clearly coming and going in peace, while retreating back a few steps. “Whatever you say princess. I’ll be back when you’re ready.” 

And just like that the man disappeared into a black distorted shadow. 

He shows up only three nights later. 

This time he catches you on your knees, riding a dildo on your bed. You don’t even hear him until he’s in front of you. Your hips stop mid roll. Whimpering as you feel the tug on your hair.

“Seems you’re ready.” He rasps, having a strong grip on your hair forcing you to look up at him. 

“I— who the fuck are you? Seriously? What do you want with me? I know I’m dreaming and I can wake up any secomd so what the fuck do you want with me.” This time you don’t even entertain him. It’s clear this man has his own vulgar intentions, you wanna skip the small talk. He doesn’t seem like the type to give up until he gets exactly what he wants. 

“The better question is what do you want with me. You manifested me after all, darling.” 

Your eye twitches at the pet name, but you ignore it, for now. “But— I don't know you. How is that fucking possible?”

Even though he knows you won't understand it completely, he still answers truthfully. “I’m dead baby. Anything is possible.” 

Great, so you’re just supposed to believe this man is some ghost haunting you in your dreams. Perfect!

This time you don’t ignore his stupid use of pet names. “S-Stop calling me that.” 

“Oh?” The man pouts, and to be honest that does something to you. If the situation was different maybe you would admit he looks fucking sexy, even if he’s a menace. 

His brows furrow, his jawline clenching as he speaks. “Is there another pet name you like? We’re already getting farther than last time, princess.” 

You don’t even attempt to hold back the scoff, your eyes roll back. “No. I don’t— I didn't ask for you and I don’t want you bothering me anymore. Just please leave me alone. Please.”

The man groans, looking down at you with hooded eyes, the fist in your hair grips harder reminding you that he still had you under his control. “God, but you sound perfect begging. Are you sure of that, kitten?”

The man's voice drops in a sultry tone, nearling purring while he speaks. And somehow, that manages to slip a whine from your throat, nearly drooling at the sight. 

Your eyes immediately widen. “I— I didn't mean that.”

“Oh, so that’s what you like.” The man smiles, petting your head affectionately. You were fucked. “Of course you didn't. You were so close weren't you, kitten?” 

You shake your head, you’re unable to look away, but at the same time you want to throw his hands off you. You felt completely powerless under his gaze and you were liking it a lot more than you would like to admit. 

“Don’t bother lying to me princess, I can smell it. You were so fucking close.” He whines the last part, biting his bottom lip, he seems to breathe in the scent. “So fucking close. I’m sorry. I always join at the worst times, you can continue.” 

He offers like a fucking weirdo, pervert and still you disgustingly want it. 

“I said, don't call me that!” Your hand flies to his and forces it off you. 

“Then talk to me.” He’s rough, but firm with his tone. 

“No. I don’t- can't and I won't. Go bother someone else.” 

“I can’t. You asked for me and you brought me here. Now you have to deal with this.” He doesn't attempt to put his hands back on you, but he does let his gaze wander seeing as you still haven’t moved from your dildo. 

“This is bullshit. It’s just in my head anyways. If I close my eyes it’s like you aren’t even here. Now let me fucking come in peace.” Your eyes closed in the middle of your rant and he seemed to listen. Hoseok backs off, watching you from your wall to be exact, but he lets you take care of yourself. That’s what he’s there for after all. 

After a few seconds of calming yourself down and regaining your arousal, you slowly lift yourself up feeling the dildo pull against your walls and you drop yourself back down. 

Hoseok was right, you weren’t too far away from coming, but he messed up your pace and now you have to work yourself back up. 

It doesn’t take too long before you set a quick pace, fucking yourself onto the silicone length. 

Truly it wasn’t that you and Namjoon’s sex life was bad, in fact he was the best fuck of your life (not that you had much experience given he was your high school sweetheart) but after years of being together, things had changed, a lot. 

You don’t even remember the last time you guys got creative in bed, besides a few vibrators from time-to-time. It was starting to get boring and you didn't want to admit this to him, but you wanted so much more. It's like your body was begging for it. And you didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying it, so instead you kept it to yourself and the sexual frustration built up overtime making it impossible not to think about constantly. 

You gasp when you finally open your eyes to find the man watching you with heavy lidded eyes from your wall, he’s not even touching himself, but you can see he’s hard in his pants. 

He licks his lips as he watches you jump down on the dildo ferociously. Your eyes make contact and that's when everything seems to explode.

Moans start slipping from your lips and you feel the knot in your stomach start to build quickly. The silicone molds around your walls perfectly, feeling the tip brush against your sweet spot repeatedly, fisting the sheets below you. 

Hoseok’s nose seems to flare and he can practically taste your arousal in the air. He watches as you bounce on that useless dildo, wishing it was his cock instead. Your mouth falls open, drool nearly spilling while you feel the knot coming undone.

It isn’t long before Hoseok finally decides to speak and it does wonders. “Come, you fucking slut.”

Fuck.

On call, you come and he’s forced to watch you moan and writhe against your sheets, feeling the dildo slowly push out of you. 

He pushes himself off the wall and comes towards you and you feel too exhausted to push him away. You are laying in the middle of your bed now, dildo still between your legs but it’s fallen out. 

You feel as he pushes the dildo back inside you overstimulating your used hole as he fucks it into you deeply. You really, really shouldn't let this happen. You are going to be a married woman soon for fuck’s sake, but it all feels so fucking good- risky yet new, so you can’t help but to feed into temptation. 

Sadly, your body denies it, for now at least. “N-No I can't. Not anymore.”

His action comes to a halt. “I know. Maybe next time, kitty.” 

And he disappears once again. 

Disappointment and guilt builds all too quickly. 

Disappointed that he didn’t stay and fuck you until you passed out. And guilt that you just came in the eyes of another man and on his call. 

—-

As expected, you spend your whole day off thinking about the stranger. The way he looks at you, the way he bites his bottom lip while taking you in. The way he grips your hair and clenches his sharp, symmetrical jawline when he has you falling apart in his hands. You could feel his touch, it’s impossible you know, but it all feels too real and it all happens so fast. 

He had a name now. He told you in one of your dreams while he was taking you from behind. 

“Say my name kitten. Who’s fucking you this good? Fuck, what a sight from behind. You’re just perfect all around, aren’t you?” Hoseok’s hands grip onto your ass cheeks, fucking into your pussy brutally. He hasn’t stopped pounding into you and it’s already been ten minutes. Maybe more? Maybe less? You stopped counting. Good dick leaves you feeling stupid. 

“H-Hoseok.” You whimper into your pillow, you think you have officially lost your fucking mind. 

“What?” You swear you can hear the smirk on his lips. 

“Hoseok.” You’re louder this time, but your voice is muffled, face falling into your pillow. 

“Louder slut!” There’s a sting on your ass and he has a fistful of your hair, lifting your face from up the pillow while he continues to ram into you from behind. You realize you are so fucking close and he knows it too, you try to meet his strong thrusts, but it’s no use because it knocks the air from under you. He manages to hold you up with a strong grip. “Fuck, fuck. You’re so tight around me, kitty. You gonna come on my dick now like a good slut? Huh?” 

“Yes!” This time your voice is loud and you scream without holding back. “Hoseok! Hoseok! Oh, nghh… fuck, Hoseok!” 

His name falls from your lips over and over while you come on his cock, just like he asked of you. That satisfies him enough and he squirts his own orgasm all over your plump ass, watching you come down from your own afterglow.

You had come to the fucked conclusion that the only way to possibly fucking fix something like this (as sick as it may sound) is to fuck it away. You had to tell Namjoon, maybe experiment a bit more just so you can finally get this man out of your head. Regain your peace of mind. Namjoon would do anything you’d ask of him, you could assure that. You just had to find a way to tell him so he wouldn’t feel it was his fault or as if he was lacking. Or you could just not tell him. 

Either way you think fucking this away would help for the time being at least.

Sex is a very special and intimate practice and that’s genuinely how it always felt with Namjoon. He always took his time with you and fucked you slow and deep. 

Before, you will admit that it was nice and that’s why he attracted you so much but now, you don’t want it to be nice or slow. You want someone to play rough, break your limits, and touch you in places you haven’t been touched before. You want to be tossed around, fucked until you can’t speak any coherent sentences. Was that just too much to ask for? 

(Hoseok sure didn't think so.)

Right as you had finished cooking dinner, Namjoon made his way through the front door, setting his work bag down by the coat rack.  

“You’re cooking?” Namjoon asks, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in for a quick kiss. “Smells good.” 

“Yeah, I figured you deserved a nice meal to come home to. I didn’t have much else to do.” You swiftly kiss him back.

Namjoon pulls you in closer, arms holding you tightly. He still smells as fresh as he did when he first left. “I told you to rest, my love. You didn’t have to do anything.” 

“I know, I know. I really wanted to though. Let’s just eat, we'll talk after.” He nods and kisses your cheek once more. 

“Let's eat then.”

…

Namjoon decides a movie night is needed on a night like tonight. 

You were more clingy than usual (and of course, he loves it). So he puts on a random movie and allows you to cuddle him up to the fullest of your extent. 

“You’re so cuddly today, my love.” Namjoon whispers into your hair, mid-movie. 

“I just missed you is all.” And you really did, it's been long since you and Namjoon had an intimate night (maybe since these dreams started), you think it's finally time. 

He smiles rubbing his hand down your arm. “I missed you too honey.” 

You lift your head from his chest and lean in slowly, he immediately picks up on the drift and leans down to meet your lips. 

His lips are soft against yours, kissing you with gentle movements. His palm comes to rest on your cheek while you escalate the kiss. 

Your tongue comes up slowly and he lets you in quite easily. You take a hand and rake it down his chest, pulling yourself on his lap carefully. 

You start to slowly whine your hips, making it all too obvious about what you need and want. Namjoon follows along without complaints. 

“Do you wanna?” Namjoon asks, a bit breathless, bringing his forehead against yours. 

“Yes.” You whisper. “Yes, please.”

Namjoon smiles and steals one last kiss before he attempts to stand, thinking it would be best to move this to the bed, but you hold him down with a shove to his abdomen. 

“No. I want it, right here.” You say, finding yourself a little breathless yourself, you needed this. 

His eyes seem to widen for the moment, but he seems to agree and pulls you back in for a kiss, this time he lets his tongue push into your mouth further exploring. He tastes the sweet tang of red wine on your tongue and he groans into the kiss. 

You pull back only for a second as you get rid of your shirt and he starts to unbutton his own. Once the shirts are off, you tug your bra off freeing your breast and bring your lips back together with great force. 

Though he doesn’t complain, Namjoon is in shock. He hasn’t seen you this needy and desperate in years, he thinks? Or at least he doesn’t remember it like that. He lets you rut against his already hard member and kisses you with equal passion.

The next time he pulls away, he tugs on your leggings and he helps you out of them. Typically your panties come down with it, but you decide you’ll just push them aside. You return the offer by pushing his jeans down, including his briefs, his dick slaps against his stomach weighing heavy. 

Your mouth instantly waters, but right now you want him inside the rest will just have to come another time. 

Namjoon looks at you with so much love and admiration and for a minute, the guilt comes crashing down. You want him, you know you do so why is the guilt still there? Is it because even as you have your lover right where you want him all you can think about is how the stranger (Hoseok) from your dreams would have had you flipped onto the couch and had his way with you hours ago. Maybe he would have fucked you against the kitchen counter, defile the damn marble. Maybe he would have taken you right against your front door, like the slut you wanted to be for him. All you know for sure is he wouldn’t have let this much time pass. 

You shake your stupid thoughts away and look back up at your fiancé. This is where you want to be. Where you fucking belong. Without letting your imagination run wild, you rub yourself against Namjoon’s hard length, spreading your arousal all over him. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet baby.” He bites a moan back, feeling your warm juices, slicken his cock. 

You moan against his mouth when you feel the tip latch on to your hole, slowly sinking down on him. You feel his cock stretch your warm walls and he feels he could come already. It's just been so long (can anyone really blame him). 

You bring your hips up a bit before crashing back down feeling the burn on your tight heat. 

“So warm and tight baby.” His hands land on your hips, toying with the band of your panties. “Come here.”

Namjoon brings you flush against his chest slowing your movement, his lips crash into yours. The kiss feels much different from before. He doesn’t hold back, as soon as your tongue clashes with his, he sucks and bites it playfully. You groan into his mouth, accidentally squeezing harder against his length. 

“Fuck baby, just like that.” His dick twitches deeply against your velvety walls, you can tell he’s holding back. “I think I’ll come soon if you continue like this.”

Like hell, you’ll let him come now, you’ve barely had your fill. Without no desire to, you slowly slide off his dick, dropping knees first onto the cold floor below you. 

“Baby–” Namjoon starts, but you push his hands away as he tries to pull you back up.

“Let me do this, you’ll last longer.” He hesitates, but eventually surrenders, laying his hands aside. “Don’t be scared to use your hands, use my mouth, Joonie.”

Fuck. How could his own perfect, sweet wife-to-be sound this seductive? He hasn’t heard you talk this way since college. And it’s been years since that. He thought the years of young, hot sex were over but he’s been wrong all along. His fiancée was the sexiest woman in the world, that he was sure of. 

Namjoon’s hands find your hair and push you towards his glistening length. It’s already drying, shame, you thought, let’s keep it warm and wet. 

Wrapping hands around it, you take his cock into your mouth, sliding your tongue across the slit, hearing a raspy moan come from Namjoon’s throat. “That’s it baby, God your mouth feels incredible.”

The tip of his cock weighs heavy against your tongue. He’s breathing heavy, while he watches you take him in further. You warm his cock with your mouth just as nicely as when you were on top of him. 

Hollowing your cheeks, you take him as far as you could go, hearing his desperate grunts. Namjoon takes a grip of your hair (he’s still very gentle with it and you try not to be disappointed) and pushes you just a bit further, feeling your throat stretch around him. “F-Fuck baby. I really won’t last.” 

You tap his thigh and he immediately lets go when he sees your eyes water. You pull off with a pop to catch your breath. “I know.”

Your voice is raspy and it’s the sexiest thing Namjoon has ever heard. And you know exactly how to make this whole situation better. Sometimes, a little whiny purr in your voice is all that’s needed to get exactly what you need. “I just want you to come down my throat. Please, fuck my throat daddy.”

Now if Namjoon wasn’t sure he could bust before, he could definitely nut in your fist right in that instant. Yes, he has a daddy kink, sue him. 

“Come here.” Namjoon demands, doesn’t hesitate this time to tug you up a little harder and place you in his lap, before he shoves your back against the couch.

“W-What are you doing?” You ask, but the answer is pretty obvious when you see him line his cock up to your hole.

“Fucking you. I’m gonna come inside you. Don’t worry baby, I won’t stop fucking you until you are statisfied.” It’s like music to your ears, his hard member slaps against your clit before he slowly eases back inside you. 

Both moaning at the feeling, he lets you adjust for a few seconds, but you waste no time to wrap your legs around his hips and pull him close. 

“Please daddy, just fuck me.” You whine into his ear. 

This time Namjoon pulls back and right before he slides out, he slams back in, balls smacking into your ass. He fucks you just like that for a while. He’s fast but skilled, finding your sweet spot quite easily. It reminds you both of older times, when things were much easier, when you were both young and easily influenced.

You moan loudly into his neck, toes curling as he fucks his dick deep inside you. “Right there daddy, please don’t stop.”

Sweat starts forming on his forehead and his hair that had once been held back by gel begins sticking to skin. It isn’t a surprise to feel him thrust harder and faster, his tongue poking at his cheek as he concentrates. “Fuck baby, I really missed fucking you just like this. You feel so tight around me, look so fucking sexy, just like this baby.” 

You eat up his praise, biting your bottom lip as you feel the tight grip he has on your hips, drilling into you like he used to. Fuck, maybe you were right. This was exactly what you needed. There’s no Hoseok in your head right now. No unwanted thoughts in your mind. It’s just you and Namjoon. How it always should have been. 

A whimper falls between your lips and you feel Namjoon leaving hickey’s around your tits, covering them beautifully with his own little marks. 

Your legs start to shake around him, and warmth starts spreading through you quickly. “Daddy— I- I think I’m gonna fucking come.” 

Namjoon grunts, mouth around your nipple while he pulls off to speak. “Yeah baby? You wanna come?”

Yes. 

No.

Not really.

Preferably you would like him to control your fucking orgasm, flip you around, start pounding into you until you can’t hold yourself together but this will have to do. 

“Y-Yeah. I wanna come.” 

“Come sweetheart.” It’s not long before you moan sweetly through an orgasm, Namjoon fucks you through it as promised and you feel like you are levitating, he maintains sinful eye contact. His thrust starts to become sloppy and you feel the instant he lets go. 

“Inside daddy, inside.” With one final strong stroke, Namjoon comes deep inside you, his breathy moans feel hot against your ear. 

There’s a few minutes of heavy breathing, settling into the couch below you. Namjoon’s breaths follow close behind yours, arm tucked below your breasts, he lays behind you. 

“You were so wonderful my love, I’m sorry we don’t do that enough.” Namjoon breaks the silence, kissing the side of your head.

For the twentieth time that week, guilt falls heavy onto your chest. You didn’t deserve him, he didn’t deserve this. 

“No, don’t apologize Joonie. It’s my fault, really. I’ve just been… out of it. But I feel much better. All thanks to you. Thank you, thank you for everything you do for me and our home.” You start getting emotional, but you don't let your tone waver. You didn’t want him to know. 

“You know I’d do it all for you, my love” He whispers into your hair, kissing along the soft skin behind your neck. “I can’t wait to marry you baby.” 

There it is again, guilt. 

“I know, I know. Me either.”

“I love you.” He doesn't hesitate to remind you sweetly. 

It hurts to say it with all that is going through your mind, but you force a reply anyway. “I love you too.” 

…

Sleep comes over you quickly that night. 

Finally, you had fucked your sweet and loving fiancé and for once, your dreams don’t start off with you fucking yourself into an orgasm. 

In fact, you don’t dream, at least you don't recall. 

Hoseok immediately knows something is different when he arrives. He doesn’t smell arousal in the air, no this time he can tell you’ve been fucked. He can smell the come leftover deep inside your walls. He’s impressed to say the least. 

He watches your chest rise and fall, a small pout framing on your lips. You sleep beautifully, he thinks you will look even better after he’s done with you for today.

With careful steps, he makes his way to the end of your bed, you jerk your arm so suddenly in your sleep and he holds back a laugh. He’s quiet when he sits besides your sleeping head, gentle fingers run through your hair. 

“Mm.” You hum sweetly in your sleep, molding against his touch, thinking it was your husband-to-be playing with your hair like he normally does. 

Before you hear him say, “someone had a good night. Isn’t that right kitten?”

Your eyes widen, nearly jumping out of bed, but Hoseok’s hands stop you from moving. “It’s just me baby.”

“H-How?” Your voice is raspy with sleep. “You were supposed to be gone.”

Hoseok smiles wide, hand still caressing the back of your head. “Did you really think that would happen, kitten?”

“Yes.” 

“You let him fuck you.” He says like he knows for sure it's a fact. He doesn’t look too happy about it and your deafening silence answers his unspoken question. He pats your cheek. “Naughty kitty.” 

You gulp, his pretty hand wrapping around your throat as he asks the next question. “Did you like it?”

“Yes.” It’s not a lie and he knows it too. 

“Yeah? He fuck you better than me?” You gulp again.

“Yes.” No.

“Why do you lie to me, kitten?” His eyes flash red (they don’t), but the look he gives you is enough to warn you. Things are about to get serious so fast. “I know everything.”

You know that saying people say about fucking around and finding out. You were about to fuck around and find out real fucking fast that Hoseok doesn’t play with his toy. 

“Then what the fuck are you going to do about it, huh?” The only warning you get is Hoseok’s smile and then he’s fisting your hair tightly. Jawline clenched, watching as his eyes hood and darken. 

“Fuck yourself open, you slut.” He drops the grip on your hair and stands, serious look on his face, he’s not fucking around at all tonight. His hands are quick, tugging his belt off. “Make it quick.”

When he sees you still haven’t moved, a warning comes to you by a strong fistful of hair, shoving you so closely against his face. His breath hits yours, but your lips don’t touch, even though they are so fucking close. You’re tempted to steal a kiss from those soft looking lips, but you’ve acted up enough. “I said, fuck yourself open.”

He drops his grip, letting your head fall into the mattress. Hoseok’s voice is strong and demanding so you stop fucking around and pull the sheets off your body. His eyes fall on your breasts, they are covered in hickey’s freshly made by Namjoon and he tries not to let that affect him. But damn him, he wishes it was him instead. He knows you would never sleep unsatisfied. He would always make sure you slept fucked and sated. Even if that meant, falling asleep on his cock. 

There’s a slight burn when your finger finds its way to your pussy. Namjoon did a number on you, but it makes it easier to fuck yourself open. His come still settling deep inside you.

Hoseok has his shirt off now and he tugs his briefs and pants down all at once, his cock springs out, looking delicious as ever. You hear a dark chuckle behind you. “Uh-uh, wrong hole kitty, I’m fucking that ass tonight.” 

You whimper when his hand comes to stop your movements. 

“I’m not fucking that dirty hole. Turn around. I wanna see you from behind.” He’s not putting it up for question. You push yourself up on your knees and fall back against the bed, lifting your ass towards his direction. 

He curses behind you and smacks your ass. Leaving a red hand mark behind, it almost is as pretty as your face. “Fuck kitten, you really are pretty all around. Fuck that hole open for me.” 

You feel spit hit your hole and your index finger rubs his saliva around your rim. Your chest is heavy, this time for different reasons, you are completely breathless. 

You can’t see Hoseok, but you hear as he opens the drawer beside your bed, it’s where you kept all your toys and lube. You are a finger-deep inside your ass when you hear the lube cap open, Hoseok is kind enough to warm the lube a bit between his fingers before he rubs against your rim and finger. He lets a bit of the lube dribble down your ass cheeks. Hoseok likes it a bit messy and wet. He clicks it close and tosses it besides you. 

“My perfect submissive slut.” He whispers, hands settling on your ass as you finger yourself open with two fingers now, the burn hurts but it feels so damn good. Namjoon has never fucked your ass, but it has always been one of your sexual desires. Nothing could ever compare to an orgasm through anal and Hoseok has taught you a lot about that. 

Another glob of spit hits your rim and you feel him squeeze a finger in. The burn of three fingers tear through you, moaning into the sheets.  “Mm, fuck.” 

He grins watching you hold back moans, biting your lips hard. 

“Maybe I should punish you tonight.” He suggests, still fucking his finger in your ass alongside your own. “If you come like this I’ll let you suck my dick if I’m still feeling nice.”

You complain, turning around to face him, back still arched. “No… please, please Hoseok. F-Fuck me. Fuck my ass.” 

“No.” He’s cold like usual and you know he won’t budge so it's no use. 

“But I-I’ve been waiting patiently. I thought all day about you.” It almost sounds like a purr and Hoseok loves it, spanking the fat in your hips this time with an unoccupied hand. His finger is still deep inside your ass and doesn’t let down. 

“Yeah? Tell me about that.” He starts to jerk himself off in the process, the leftover lube in his fingers makes the slide easier, his tongue wets his lips while he maintains eye contact. 

Your cheeks are burning but you continue, “I thought about your huge cock splitting me open. Forcing me to take you e-even when I can’t anymore. I thought about you spitting into my messy hole like you always do. I thought about you fucking me open against the door. Even the kitchen counter. All day, I’ve missed you all day.”

This seems to satisfy him enough so he plays nice. “Turn over. On your back. Show me those tits.”

He pulls his finger out slowly and you miss it immediately but you listen, your own fingers slide out as you turn around for him. His knees hit the bed pulling your thighs apart as he falls between them, his arm falling beside your head. He’s still fisting his hard length, watching your tits rise and fall as you breathe. 

His tongue comes out and licks around your breasts purposely avoiding your nipple. “You let him mark you.” 

“He’s my husband-to-be.” You answer, holding back a moan when he sucks on your skin, gentle enough not to make any marks. “Of course, I did.” 

“Mm.” He hums into your skin, it vibrates and your pussy responds to this, leaking arousal into the sheets. “What else did you let him do, kitten?” 

“He fucked me.” You whisper, practically vibrating below him. 

“Oh I know that. I smell it.” He looks like he wants to laugh, but instead continues sucking around your other breast, giving both tits the attention they deserve. 

“Squeeze them together.” He orders and you listen quickly. His tongue slides and sucks between them, still avoiding your nipples and it drives you insane. You want to feel him. 

“Please.” Your voice is weak.

“Please what?” He asks, looking up dumbfounded, but he knows exactly what you want. He’s making you work for it. “Tell me kitten. What do you want?” 

“Y-Your mouth.” You struggle. 

“Where?” He breathes out, right on top of your nipple, tongue nearly sliding against it. 

“R-Right there.” Your eyes never move. 

You watch as he sticks his long, pink tongue out and very slowly licks your already hardened nipple. 

“Here?” He asks between his own breaths and you moan softly, sounding sweet against his ears.

“Yes.” You whisper-moan. 

He drops his cock, letting it hit your cunt while he starts to suck on your nipples like they deserve. There’s nothing sweet and gentle about this. It’s like he wants to replace Namjoon’s love bites and leave you with his own. 

He switches off onto the previous breast and his hand comes to play with your other breast while he attends to the new one. He licks and sucks harshly, bruising your tender skin. You writhe against him, pussy brushing along his cock, but his hand comes to halt your actions quickly with a strong grip on your hip. 

“Be good, slut.” Is all he says before he continues marking your breasts and you can’t do a single thing, but moan and whine underneath him, feeling empty. The memory of Namjoon is long forgotten. 

Once Hoseok is satisfied with his work. He grins and pulls away. He grabs the bottle of lube beside you and lathers his cock in it. “Should I fuck you now?”

You are quick to nod and you feel bubbly. 

Finally. 

“Yeah? You think you deserve it?” He tempts and teases, his lubed fingers touch your chin and you open with ease, taking all three fingers he offers you inside your mouth. You suck hard and watch him bite his lip.  

You moan around his fingers, his other hand gripping his slicken cock and you feel it catch around your rim. 

“Beg for it, slut.” He slides his fingers out, saliva drips down your chin, you probably look a mess but you don't even care anymore. The sinful desire and lust is ten times worse than any other feeling. 

“Please, Hoseok. Please.” You beg. “I’d do anything. Anything.” 

He sees red for two seconds and then he says. “Then keep your legs open for me. Try to stay awake. Don’t disappoint me this time, kitten.” 

There’s no warning for when he plunges his hard length inside your slicked rim. You know he won’t be going anywhere near your pussy, keeping his promise. You didn’t deserve it. You let someone else use your hole and now he’s punishing you. 

“Oh. My. God.” You moan, it fucking burns, but soon his thrusts turn into pleasure and his cock brushes your sweet spot. It’s like he’s known you all your life, knowing the exact way to tear you apart, piece by piece. 

“Ghost actually, not God, but I’ve met him. He’s not the sweet and forgiving man everyone mentions he is.” Hoseok says this all while buried deep between your ass cheeks and you would actually laugh about this if the situation was different, but instead you moan and clench around him feeling his balls slap faster against your ass. “That’s it kitten, lose your fucking mind.”

And that is exactly what you do.

Hoseok continues ramming his hips into yours for a few minutes, you aren’t speaking clearly anymore so he doesn’t understand a word you tell him, all he knows is that you must be feeling fucking ecstasy by the way you roll your eyes and yell moans. 

His hands grip your hips and he comes to a stop. “Face down. Ass up. I wanna see that ass while I pound it from behind.”

You don’t reply to him, but you seem to understand. With weak movements, you move and nearly fall face first into the bed, weak limbs. You don’t even have the strength to hold yourself together anymore. Hoseok is kind enough to help though, he places a pillow below your hips, just high enough so he can slide right back inside your tight ass. 

He hears your muffled moans against your bedsheets, watching you weakly grip them. 

“Such a nice ass. It’s a shame really.” Your ass bounces while he mounts you from behind, it’s fast but precise, hitting your walls just right at every harsh thrust. 

“W-What is?” He barely hears you reply. 

“That this ass isn’t played with enough and soon I’ll just be a fidget of your imagination. You’ll forget I ever existed and you’ll never, ever receive the sexual satifisation you deserve. But maybe, one day, when it’s your turn to go, you’ll meet me in the after-life and I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed this sweet ass.” The ghost’s voice almost sounds sad and you freeze. You don’t want this to end. No.

“T-Then don’t stop fucking me. Keep me here forever.” You whisper frantically, breath hot and heavy. 

“Oh trust me baby, I would if I could. For now, I won’t stop. Stay awake, kitten.” You don’t even notice you are falling unconscious, the stretch and burn of his cock is exhausting and your ass takes him greedily, but his words wake you. 

He grips the side of your hips, pressing his thumbs into your back as he sets a faster pace. Slamming and ramming his dick deep within you. The moans and gasps that slip from your mouth sound so pretty, God he really wishes it would never fucking end, but he feels you slipping between his hands already. 

What the fuck can he do? 

Hoseok is close himself, how could he not be? He’s been practically edging himself for hours and now that he has such a juicy ass at hand, with the most perfect woman he has ever seen, he could practically come inside your velvet walls right now. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You curse and moan below him, you tremple and shake, the knot inside your stomach is barely holding up. “‘M so close.”

He nods, forgets you can’t see him. He harshly tugs you around, still quite limp and weak between his arms. “Wanna see that face when you come on my cock.”

He plunges back inside, lips close to yours, but he doesn’t kiss you. And then you realize, he hasn’t kissed you. This entire time. He’s fucked you religiuosly for weeks on end and you don’t even know what those heart-shaped lips taste like against yours. Would they be as sweet as they look? Would he kiss you gently or would he be harsh and rough like the way he fucks? You wonder about it all at once and it makes you sad for a moment. You want a kiss. Why wouldn’t he kiss you? 

“Kiss me.” You breathe out, he’s grunting above your mouth still fucking you nice and deep. You are beyond positive you won’t be able to move your ass tomorrow but it’s worth it, it’s always worth it. 

He looks up and then looks back down, concentrating on his thrust, you moan but hold your ground. 

“Please. Kiss me.” You whisper, gasping when you feel the knot start to come undone. He knows you’re about to let go and this only drives him to bottom out faster and quicker. Skin smacking quickly against skin. Your asshole has been shaped and molded just for him. You’re loving every second of it, but he still hasn’t kissed you. 

Why?

Your arms weakly wrap around his shoulders, he breathes heavy and hot against your ear now. It’s messy, sweaty and his touch is usually rough, but it feels awfully gentle now. He’s still rough inside your soft walls, but something’s changed. 

“Hoseok.” You breathe, you’re so sad. 

He hums against your neck, avoiding your eyes. 

“Kiss me.” You plead again, he kissed your neck so softly, balls smacking harder and faster against your ass. “No, my lips.”

“Goodnight, kitten.” He whispers sounding sad into your ear before he lifts his face from your neck and those heart-shaped lips touch your softly, it’s almost sweet. You come undone as soon as you feel the touch of his magical lips and you swear you feel him come deep inside you.

It all disappears though. 

“Honey?” This time it's Namjoon, hand already around your waist. “You okay? Was it another nightmare?”

A tear falls down your face and Namjoon awes, bringing you into his warm embrace. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” 

Why are you crying? 

And where is Hoseok?

“I am too.” You simply say, crying harshly into his shoulder.

Hoseok watches the scene unfold from afar. He wishes you could feel the ache you’ve left him behind too and there isn’t a damn thing he could do but wait. 

“See you in the after-life kitten. There I’ll spoil you with all the kisses you deserve.”

You don’t hear him, but he knows he means well. Hoseok walks away permanently this time, he’s lost the feeling of his heart long ago, but he feels heavy-hearted and continues on his way to his next victim.  

Until next time.

[fleetingpetal]

ㅤㅤㅤ╌────┈╌╌┈ㅤㅤ🍷ㅤTHE VAMPIRE'S RESPITE !

　▄︻══━一　⊹　hello and welcome to yours truly's halloween event~ this will contain a series of pieces themed after this particular holiday. i've been organizing this for a while and it's a joy to finally get to it. happy halloween in advance if you celebrate, and happy holidays if you don't. hope you enjoy this mini event. 🖤

content warnings for ACT I that'll contain and openly discuss things like body harm ( self-inflicted and otherwise ) alongside discussions of death and suicide. the specified warnings will be given to each piece during that act.

⋊ ` ACT I :: to those who yearn, to which those dream .

╭ ∘˙ TO THE THORN BY MY SIDE. ° ·

╰ . fragmented voices guide you through a peculiar path to the woods, leading you to a cabin. within such a cabin is a prince, who's fate must be sealed for all eternity. should you leave him be, you won't earn your freedom, and the world will cease to exist... at least, that's what the crow has echoed to you.

╭ ∘˙ LOVING FANG. ° ·

╰ . in the world of teyvat, its inhabitants are divided to two factions; the humans and the vampires. a decent sum of the former chose to risk their lives in pursuit of peace for their kind, but what will the case be when the only reliable healer takes a step forward to the front lines? entangled in secrecy's roots; you blindly stride forward to find a familiar face.

╭ ∘˙ MARCH TO THE UNKNOWN. ° ·

╰ . irminsul has been exhibiting abnormalities that were beyond nahida's comprehension. some have been seeking the young archon for answers about their peculiar dreams, and those still searching for wanderer's whereabouts; as the description of that faceless individual matched his.

⋊ ` ACT II :: within portraits adorned with your tears .

╭ ∘˙ WHAT REMAINS OF IZUMO. ° ·

╰ . “why do you seek the memories of a spring that no longer exists?”

╭ ∘˙ HIS COLOR. ° ·

╰ . “this piece came to me in a dream. he's beautiful, isn't he?”

⋊ ` ACT III :: for a much kinder reality .

╭ ∘˙ O' WANDERING GHOST. ° ·

╰ . this was foolish. truly, yet there you two were; occupied with easing the academic pressure away through playing silly games.

╭ ∘˙ THE HOLIDAY CUSTOM. ° ·

╰ . carven pumpkins, hung doodles on the fridge, and an accidental encounter with the little boy's diary was what led the oh so cold businessman to consider a thing or two today. his figurative destination? the one his child always mused about.

┊ ❀﹚greetings~ credits to the resources used will be listed here. fantastic artwork illustrated by shiMaU_U on twt, animated dividers used for the mini event masterlist made by cafekitsune, and additional dividers used for this event are made by successfulicons.

[axxa-the-allikatt]

My first FengQing fic! Collab with @screeching-painter-witch. Loved working with you! Glad I had someone to help me through with my first fic about them TwT I’ve been wanting to write them forever but I was too nervous 🥲. Can’t wait for us to start working on part two <3

Here ya go guys.

***

HEAVEN JUST GOT SWEETER FOR YOU

Summary:

“Ling Wen. Hey Ling Wennn. I won the bet. Pay up.” Pei Ming's voice came in. “Which bet?” Ling Wen replied.

“You know, the one where I said the generals of the south would sleep with each other within a decade?”

There was a pause. “General Ming Guang, this is the general communication array.”

“…Shit.”

OR

As they deal with the stress of an unexplained plague in the South, Mu Qing and Feng Xin’s bickering takes a turn for the worse as Feng Xin unintentionally brings up Mu Qing’s mother.

Mu Qing storms off and ends up in his mother’s tomb, and unwittingly gives himself up to a monster in the disguise of his beloved mother.

As Mu Qing is on the verge of dying at the hands of the monster, he subconsciously sends a prayer to Feng Xin in his last moments.

Feelings ensue. Feng Xin probably ascends for a second time.

Pei Ming is going to lose his job.

***

Text

“Don’t get into too much trouble!” Xie Lian called out from the door to the two generals walking away. Mu Qing rolled his eyes as Feng Xin waved at the man, before their expressions turned sour as Hua Cheng draped himself over Xie Lian’s shoulder, giving them a smirk.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing were on their way back to the Heavenly Capital after going to Xie Lian's Puqi Shrine for tea.

After everything with Jun Wu had happened, and Pei Ming had taken over as interim Heavenly Emperor while the Heavens were being rebuilt, Feng Xin, Mu Qing and Xie Lian had been working on rebuilding their friendship.

Their new dynamic, where they were all more or less on equal footing socially, meant they'd had to form new ways to redefine their friendship from the ground up, and tea at Puqi Shrine had become both a way for them to reconnect and catch up, and a way for Feng Xin and Mu Qing, who still lived in the heavens, to escape the stresses of rebuilding the Heavenly Capital for a bit.

It had become a near weekly occurrence, during which the three had become closer and more comfortable spending time with each other (even in spite of Hua Cheng's catty remarks that Xie Lian had to visibly stifle a laugh at. Apparently Xie Lian and Mu Qing were more similar than Feng Xin had previously thought).

Today, though, things were a little more fraught than usual.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing had been notified of a plague that was beginning to ravage the South.

It was a strange condition. No one new how it was transmitted or what caused it, only that those who caught it would fall victim to terrible nightmares, crying out to people they cared about or loved ones they'd lost, until the strain of the dream drained them and they grew calm, stopped moving entirely and never woke up again.

This time, they had visited Xie Lian for advice. In his 800 years of banishment, Xie Lian had apparently run into every terrifying creature and circumstance possible, and no god had spent as much time in the mortal realm as he had.

Mu Qing had suspected it might be a ghost draining mortals' qi, and they had silently agreed that if Xie Lian did not know anything, Hua Cheng certainly would. Not that they would ask him outright. If Hua Cheng knew something, he would certainly not pass up a chance to impress "gege" (Feng Xin still grew a little red at the way Hua Cheng said that word to Xie Lian).

Apparently, Xie Lian had run into such monsters before, and even been assaulted by some of them. The casual way he'd described the encounters, plural, made Feng Xin shiver.

Hua Cheng had also run into such creatures. He confirmed Mu Qing's suspicions that the condition described by the mortals was most likely caused by a creature, although it was more demon than ghost. One of them had attempted to feed on the strong Yin energy of Ghost City, and after the disappearances of numerous ghosts, Hua Cheng had become aware of it and dealt with the problem.

He'd said no more but only stated that it "should be easy to kill for a martial god."

Feng Xin and Mu Qing had exchanged a glance at his slight mocking tone.

As the two began walking away, Feng Xin could tell Mu Qing was on edge. He hated being seen as incompetent, and Hua Cheng's remark had managed to make him feel just that.

“Fucker” Feng Xin muttered under his breath, referring to Hua Cheng. Mu Qing rolled his eyes again before adding “Can he not speak in riddles for once? Lives are on the line here!” “What was it that he said again? Something about memories haunting and losses. What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?!” Feng Xin hissed.

“Why don’t you try to actually use that brain of yours? Oh wait, you might lose your remaining common sense.” Mu Qing taunted.

“Shut up! It’s not as if you know the answer!”. Mu Qing huffed in annoyance but kept quiet.

“I thought so! Stop acting like you’re so smart. You aren’t all that.” Feng Xin muttered under his breath. “What was that!?” Mu Qing demanded.

Feng Xin was about to repeat what he said, before he had, what he thought, a brilliant idea to rail Mu Qing up. “I said maybe, commoners should train better so that they can protect themselves from the plague!”

Mu Qing grit his teeth. “Yeah?! Well, maybe if the not so commoners of Xianle had trained better, we wouldn’t have lost the war!”

“What the fuck?! Where did that come from?! Fuck off!”

“Do us a favour and kill yourself!” Mu Qing hissed back as they both ascended to the heavenly capital

“Well, maybe you should kill yourself. Go join your mother and she might teach you some actual manners this time!”

Mu Qing, who was in the middle of a retort, froze. His angry expression carefully settled into a blank stare as he stood shocked for a few moments. Feng Xin stilled at this reaction, his heart dropping into his stomach as Mu Qing swallowed hard before slowly backing away. Before he could call out to him, he had disappeared into an array, closing it before Feng Xin had a chance to run after him.

“Fuck.” Feng Xin muttered.

***

The array fell closed behind Mu Qing.

Feng Xin ran in the direction Mu Qing had disappeared in, ready to open and array himself until he realised he had no idea where Mu Qing had gone and no way of finding out.

With how badly he'd fucked up, Mu Qing would probably want to be alone right now anyway.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

Why did he say that? Why did he ever think it was a good idea to bring up Mu Qing's mother when he had failed to be there for Mu Qing when she'd died?

It had been going so well with Mu Qing.

After the Mt. Tonglu incident, Feng Xin had realised how wrong he was about what kind of person Mu Qing was and he had been more than happy (reluctant but not against it) to help when Xie Lian had reached out to him to help get Mu Qing to be more comfortable with them.

It had taken him all his strength not to mention Mu Qing’s little f-f-friends speech at Mt. Tonglu but really, almost all the times they used to fight in the past few centuries, he’d never thought that Mu Qing would really take it to heart.

Tripping over his own feet, Feng Xin had a vague thought about going down to the mortal realm to find Mu Qing, but realised that what he’d said was fucked up and Mu Qing would probably need space. The communication array. Right! Trying to call out to him in the array, he was met with silence. Fuck.

What the fuck was he going to do now? Leaving Mu Qing alone for a bit seemed like a good idea, but for how long? Should he wait at his palace? Should he ask someone for help? Who would he ask?

He did not want to worry Xie Lian about this. Besides, who knew if Mu Qing would be angry at him for sharing that fight and his reaction with Xie Lian?

No, he needed to seek advice from an impartial party. Someone with better social skills than himself, who had seen his and Mu Qing's fights over the centuries. That left…

The only person in the heavenly capital who had any idea about situations like these. Pei Ming (who was the interim heavenly emperor now). As much as Feng Xin didn’t want to go to him for help, he knew he’d messed up horribly this time and needed some clarification on what to do.

"Nan Yang! What brings you to my palace?"

Feng Xin had not realised how quickly he'd already reached Pei Ming's palace before the idea had fully formed in his mind.

"General." Feng Xin nodded at him. "I need advice on a certain… issue."

Curiosity piqued, Pei Ming gestured at Feng Xin to sit next to him. "And what is this 'certain problem?' Another fight with Xuan Zhen? I'm sure you can cover the damages," he said, playfully. Feng Xin winced. He clearly didn't expect that to be the actual reason.

"Yes," he said.

Pei Ming raised an eyebrow.

"Well, there are no damages, but..." Feng Xin trailed off lamely. He wasn't sure how to describe what had just happened.

After a moment’s pause, Feng Xin began murmuring to himself what sounded like a string of curses, and Pei Ming couldn’t make heads nor tails of it.

“General Nan Yang, if you’re here to curse my ancestors out of the dead, I’d be highly offended, you know.”

Feng Xin took a deep breath. “I need help. It’s…urgent.”

"Yes. You’ve said that. I'm afraid you will need to be a bit clearer, general."

Feng Xin shot him a look that probably would have made Mu Qing proud in other circumstances.

Pei Ming waited surprisingly patiently as he tried to find the words.

"We had a fight."

"That part is to be expected," Pei Ming replied. "But that's par for the course for you guys. What happened that you came here?"

Feng Xin tried to find a way to phrase it.

"..."

"It wasn't a normal fight." Great. Perfectly said. Mu Qing would have had a field day with that one.

Pei Ming, for his part, looked confused but curious. Feng Xin had a feeling he was fishing for gossip. Although, as Heavenly Emperor, he would have to keep it under wraps, at least until the whole issue was resolved.

“What's this issue that is so concerning that the general has come to ask for my help?”

"Well…There is a plague in the South, and we were looking for ways to combat it."

Pei Ming's face turned serious. "And have you made any headway?"

"We have some information, but not enough to have a clear picture of what to do. We were discussing our next course of action and we couldn't come to an agreement. The conversation got more hostile and..."

"And?"

Feng Xin sighed. “Mu- General Xuan Zhen and I started arguing again. And I sort of unintentionally brought up something that made him stalk off who knows where.”

“Oh. And what’s this that you brought up?”

Feng Xin grit his teeth, knowing full well that Pei Ming was asking for future purposes. “I.. said something about his mother.”

Pei Ming faked a gasp. “Oh that is a low blow, general!”

“I know, you bastard! That’s why I’m here for help. It’s the first time he’s ignored me in the array. He always replies,even if we’ve fought! Fuck, what if something’s happened to him?! What if he-“

Pei Ming put up a hand to stop Feng Xin from going off in a tangent. “I’m sure he’s fine, general. I don’t think he’d appreciate you thinking of him as weak. He’s probably in a fight with some demon that blocks the communication array. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.

The two of you know each other well, and you practically share a domain. A bond like that should make you as good as brothers! Back when I had just ascended-"

Feng Xin suddenly felt awkward. He rubbed at his neck, tuning out the next thing Pei Ming was about to say.

He'd really fucked up.

***

Mu Qing had no idea where his feet were leading him. He really hadn’t expected Feng Xin’s words to sting so much.

He had been so relieved when Feng Xin and His Highness had invited him to Puqi shrine, a few weeks after the Jun Wu incident. He had been sceptical at first, thinking this was a joke to remind him of what had happened at Mt. Tonglu. But neither of them had brought up the incident, and they had spent almost an entire day conversing about the Xianle days.

It had been a surprise for all of them, when both Feng Xin and Xie Lian had cautiously asked Mu Qing if he would mind cooking, and Mu Qing, for once, did not feel like they were treating him as a mere servant, and had began preparing without any argument. Over the months they had spent several days in each other’s company.

Once Hua Cheng had returned, Xie Lian had more often than not excused himself from these hangouts early, and Mu Qing found himself spending the rest of the day in the company of only Feng Xin.

He had gotten too comfortable with Feng Xin’s snarky remarks because he had believed, for once, that they held no poison behind them. Stupid stupid stupid.

Now he had to face the painful numbness that he was so used to, back when everyone pulled at his threads about his status and… and his mom. Mother. It was then that he realised where he was going. His mother’s tomb. The place that buried all the painful memories and safe guarded all the happy ones.

Even before he'd ascended, Mu Qing had wanted to find a good spot to build a final resting place for his mother. A place deserving of the honour of holding her. He didn't know when exactly the idea had first come into his mind. Muddled thoughts about what to do next and honouring her legacy were all his mind could manage after she'd died, and no one else knew how much of his determination to ascend after that was for her. She would not be remembered otherwise. No matter how wise, patient, beautiful, elegant she had been, no one would spare her name a glance.

She deserved better. She deserved the honours of a queen. Mu Qing had not been able to give her that in life, but he'd be damned if anything kept him from at least doing so in death.

He'd built her a tomb himself, filled with engravings and gold and jewels, deep in a forest in the Southwest. He'd disguised it so that, to the eyes of mortals and less powerful gods, it looked like a small decrepit hut.

He visited it whenever he needed comfort. Sitting with his mother in silence gave him a sense of peace he couldn't manage as easily in his palace in the Heavens.

But now, as he neared the clearing, the place felt more stifling than relaxing, more dangerous than safe. Stepping into the area, his breath caught in his throat. There, sitting on the stone steps of the little hut, his mother was beckoning him.

The first thing he felt was guilt.

How could he have forgotten the gold specks in the pitch black colour of her eyes? Her dimples when she smiled?

Mu Qing wasn't an idiot. The second he saw her he'd immediately put together Hua Cheng's stupid riddles. Of course the thing before him was not his mother. Of course it was whatever had been causing the deaths across the South, plaguing villagers with memories of those they'd lost until the strain was too much, feeding its victims' qi as their pain rendered them unable to move.

Of course it had found this spot, brimming with Mu Qing's spiritual energy after centuries, and decided to lure him here.

Mu Qing realised all this.

But maybe, just maybe…. “Hello mother” he called out, walking towards the hut. “Perhaps, Feng Xin was right. It’s about time I joined you” He leaned into the outstretched arms of his mother. Relaxing into the touch he missed so terribly, “Take me home mother.”

As his ‘mother’ wrapped her arms around him, he felt the soothing touch calm the torrent of spiritual energy flowing through him.

Seconds passed into minutes. Slowly, he felt his consciousness slip from his grasp, a lovely numbness spreading across his body.

Melting into the embrace, Mu Qing tried to grasp his thoughts, which tauntingly slipped from his fingers every time he held onto one for too long.

Pleasant memories flashed through his head; of the Xianle days, where he would pick berries for his mother, or would secretly slip a smile at a stupid joke that Xie Lian would make; of the times when Xie Lian had ascended and he would help him with his infinite amount of prayers; of the days back in the mortal realm, performing in the streets for whatever they could earn; of the day where Mu Qing finally ascended, years and years of training finally paying off; of the all the little things that helped him stay strong for hundreds of years; of Feng Xin whom he couldn’t tolerate, yes, but also the one person in all the world who had been with him through all these ups and downs. Feng Xin.

Feng Xin. Shit.

With a startle, Mu Qing opened his eyes, trying to jump away from this demon that had the audacity to lure him in using his beloved mother’s form.

He realised with a shocked grunt he couldn’t feel his limbs, nor could he sense any spiritual energy flowing through his body. With a wretched gasp, he felt bile rise up his throat, and blood oozing out of his nose, onto the cold wooden floor which he was now lying on.

He cried out in agony as the demon, which had returned to its real form, an ugly eight legged, one eyed monster, sunk its claws into this skull, piercing it with a painful crack. He was losing consciousness again.

He thought again of his mother. Of the woman who had dedicated her life's efforts to raising him, to making sure he could survive and follow what he wanted to do. She had believed he was strong enough to ascend, and he had. He was not going to throw that away. But what could he do now?

How stupid was he?! Falling into the arms of a demon that he could’ve ended within moments? Now he was stuck in the clutches of a monster, falling into the same fate as those innocent mortals.

At first the dreams were still nice. Sweet, calm moments of his mother teaching him how to cook, how to make the best of each plant and animal so they would have as much to eat as possible. Mu Qing and his mother, washing laundry together. Her steady hands and soft voice, patiently teaching him how to sew, each stitch demonstrated again and again, her kindness at his messy imitations until he improved.

Slowly, though, the dreams kept becoming darker, more distressing.

His mother's illness. Her shaking hands, no longer able to earn them food by mending clothes. Her voice, getting quieter and quieter. Her flushed face distorted in the agony of fever and pain. Mu Qing, sitting by her bedside, unable to do anything but watch. Hating to leave her alone, but he had to, to work, sweeping, washing, changing the prince's sheets, mending clothes--

The fall of Xianle, and then the fall of his mother, weak, delirious with pain, nearly unrecognisable by the end of it. He'd just wanted to join her, stay with her forever in the Ghost Realm, or the next life.

He could hear her voice, twisted into unusual cruelty, saying that he'd abandoned her, hadn't done enough, hadn't worked hard enough to get her the medicine on time, hadn't recognised what was wrong early enough, that he'd run off to cultivate with the Crown Prince without a care for her.

It was this cruel voice that roused a small part of Mu Qing. His mother would never say that. She never would have blamed her son for anything they went through. Even ravaged by fever and pain, she had been the one to encourage Mu Qing to find new friends, to take any opportunity he wanted, to make her proud by becoming proud of himself. As weak as she had been, she had celebrated with him when Xie Lian had argued for him to become a disciple at Mount Taicang.

Who was this creature to distort her memory like this? And how could Mu Qing possible let that stand?

Unfortunately, these thoughts had come too late.

Struggling but failing miserably, millions of thoughts flit through his head, trying to make the last impression on him before he cracked under the pain. But there was one thought, only one, that made its impact. Feng Xin.

Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin.

Stupid Feng Xin. He wanted to think Feng Xin was an asshole for landing him in this situation. But really, Mu Qing knew he had only himself to blame. It was just a stupid remark.

Why did things have to end so badly between them? Mu Qing used to think that Feng Xin would be his death, but in death the only thoughts passing through him were of Feng Xin. How miserable.

But although Mu Qing tried to convince himself that he was annoyed at this, he still held onto the thought of Feng Xin, like it was his life line.

Feng Xin. General Nan Yang.

He passed out.

***

“And you should’ve seen her face! It was as if she had never knew gods existed! Then there was that woman who-“

It had been 10 minutes since Pei Ming began droning on about his female conquests of the decade (where had he found the time?!) and it had been 10 minutes since Feng Xin zoned out.

Honestly, for once, he wished that he could focus on Pei Ming’s gossip, because, right now, he wanted to think about anything but what Mu Qing might be doing.

His heart was racing marathons and he really wished Mu Qing would just come back to him and impale him with that saber of his (fuck, that sounded wrong…well-) instead of ignoring him. It was making him feel things he didn’t know were possible.

On one hand, in the current situation, Feng Xin felt so fucking bad for saying the things he did, and (although he would never admit it) he would fall to his knees if that was what it took for Mu Qing to talk to him again.

On the other hand, for the past few weeks, that feeling in his heart that brimmed every time he was with Mu Qing for the past 800 years was hitting him harder than ever.

He had the desperate urge to just dash to the nearest Xuan Zhen temple and pray to Mu Qing until he came back, even if it was to make fun of Feng Xin about it for the next few centuries.

Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing. Mu Qing.

Feng Xin was so lost in his thoughts he’d managed to completely tune Pei Ming out when he received it.

He felt a prayer tugging at the back of his mind. This one had a particular urgency to it, despite the fact that no words came to him.

He thought it must be from someone powerful, maybe a rich lord who had offerings to spare, until he caught the faint signature of Mu Qing's spiritual energy.

It built up and up, became a surge until Feng Xin wasn't sure how he could have missed it for even a second.

He unconsciously gasped, startling Pei Ming mid-speech. Mu Qing. He was-

Dashing from his seat, Feng Xin rushed past a surprised junior official. Ignoring the call from Pei Ming, he hurriedly began drawing an array for somewhere in the south.

That’s where he’d got the prayer. From Mu Qing.

Pei Ming seemed to notice his anxiousness. He looked at Feng Xin for a moment, then at the array he was drawing.

"Shut up," Feng Xin heard himself say.

Pei Ming looked startled at his words. "General, what happened? Did Xuan Zhen respond in the array? Is he in danger?"

Feng Xin still felt the intrusion in his mind, growing louder and louder.

The prayer held no words, but the feeling in it was clear.

Fear, tinged with exhaustion and the determination of someone who refused to let it get the best of him.

Fuck. Something must have gone terribly wrong for Mu Qing to call out to him like that. All the images that he had been trying to ignore, of Mu Qing hurt or worse, flashed through his mind again.

Mu Qing seemed to try to hold it back, but the wordless call for help was interspersed by spikes of sorrow, pain and the cruel words of a woman's voice Feng Xin did not recognise.

Ignoring the call from Pei Ming, he worked on the array using his own cup of tea to paint the sigils on the wall, latching on to the prayer with all his mind's strength, words beginning to make it through.

Mu Qing's voice was low, laboured, like it was hard to speak, but his words were desperate, fraught with emotion. Feng Xin didn't know what he'd expected to hear from Mu Qing right now. He would never ask for help, so the situation had to be dire. Probably cursing Feng Xin out? Telling him it was his fault Mu Qing had gotten into this? Was he-

Feng Xin.

Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin. Feng Xin.

General Nan Yang.

Feng Xin froze for a second before his worry increased tenfold.

His own name, repeated again and again. It sounded strange that way, in Mu Qing's voice but said without an ounce of mocking or derision. Feng Xin knew Mu Qing cared about him, perhaps not in the same way as Feng Xin cared for him, but he never expected Mu Qing to say his name with such desperation, almost like he was holding on to it to keep from succumbing to whatever was being done to him.

Habitually, Feng Xin drew his bow.

Without pausing for the array to completely open, he dashed through it, almost tripping over some rocks on the other side. He froze for a second, then ran.

His mind was not always as quick as Mu Qing's, but Feng Xin was sure whatever had managed to subdue Mu Qing like this must have been the demon killing mortals in the South.

The array had led him to a small clearing in one of the forests of the Southwest. There was a hut, its entrance darkened like that of a tomb. Its design reminded him of the small houses behind the palace in Xianle.

In front of it lay Mu Qing, still and bleeding. His limbs twitched. Attached to his head were the legs of a giant, spiderlike creature, its one eye trained intently on Mu Qing's unmoving body as its limbs dug into his skull with sickening strength.

“MU QING!”

At a speed that surprised even himself, Feng Xin knocked an arrow and let it fly, aiming at the thickest part of its head which was mere inches above Mu Qing's.

The arrow was infused with enough spiritual energy to break buildings.

With a cry of agony, the creature burst into a mess of filthy blood and flesh.

Ignoring the disgusting mess, Feng Xin got on his knees beside Mu Qing, almost breaking down when he saw the serious injuries on his head.

He could wallow later. Right now he had to get someone to help him.

Mu Qing was barely breathing, his eyes closed. His limbs still twitched as blood flowed from his nose and mouth. On the left side of his head, his temple had succumbed to the pressure, partly caved in in an unnatural shape.

But he wasn't dead. Feng Xin breathed a sigh as he moved to gently pick Mu Qing up. This must be painful, but it wasn't nearly enough damage to kill a martial god of his calibre.

Feng Xin was already in shock, but what he felt as his hand grazed Mu Qing's side made his blood run cold.

There was next to no spiritual energy left in him. Mu Qing's meridians were frayed to a level Feng Xin had never seen.

How did that thing get close enough for long enough to do this kind of damage?

As gently as he could without jostling Mu Qing, Feng Xin sped across the clearing and ran into the array.

This was his fault. He would fix this, and he was not letting Mu Qing out of his sight until he did.

Feng Xin was seeing red everywhere. He didn’t know how much longer he had before he himself started to feel dizzy.

Thankfully, several hands came to help him, the medical officials assuring him that they would try their best. Best? Oh, he must have been screaming for help.

As he yelled orders and ran to the Nan Yang palace infirmary as fast as he could, he couldn't keep his eyes away from Mu Qing.

He's still breathing, that's good, Feng Xin thought, even as Mu Qing's breathing got more faint and shallow by the second. Feng Xin was not going to think about that. Even if he stopped breathing, it was still fixable.

Keep breathing Mu Qing, come on. That's it. Please keep breathing.

The entire Heavenly Capital had heard what had happened by the time Feng Xin had laid Mu Qing in a cot and the healers began to administer treatment.

After what felt like hours but in reality must have been just a few minutes, he felt his body and mind calm down.

Alright. They would save him. Mu Qing would be fine. He had to be.

***

Mu Qing remained unconscious for the next four days.

Feng Xin desperately hoped Mu Qing would wake up soon because he was having waking nightmares about him lying in his own pool of blood almost every minute.

The rest of the gods and officials also desperately wanted General Xuan Zhen to wake up soon. Not only because he was a crucial part of their system, but also because Feng Xin was terrorising everyone in the capital with his constant anxiety, temper and that perpetual frown on his face.

It had been two days since Feng Xin had brought Mu Qing half dead into his palace. It had taken almost an hour until the medics were able to assure Feng Xin and everyone else that Mu Qing would make it out well, and that he had gone through a spiritual energy deviation, which had caused more damage than the actual monster.

Feng Xin spent the first two days in a chair by his cot, standing guard. He was still in his armour. The specks of Mu Qing's blood on it had turned a dull brown. Next to him, Mu Qing's breathing remained steady.

Mu Qing could wake up any minute, and he'd surely panic without a familiar face there to explain what had happened. And Heavenly Officials did not need sleep like humans did, anyway.

Countless officials came to offer their respects, although many of them were clearly just here for the gossip.

Anyone who asked what had happened for General Xuan Zhen to be struck down like this, with a too-curious glint in their eyes was promptly told to go fuck themselves.

Pei Ming visited, and Feng Xin just barely remembered to inform him that the plague in the South had been dealt with.

Xie Lian came by too. After Feng Xin told him what had happened, he insisted on keeping him company, making some not so subtle references to how he'd felt when Crimson Rain had dispersed in Mount Tonglu. He said Crimson Rain sent his well wishes, that he hadn't joined Xie Lian because he doubted Mu Qing seeing him when he woke up would aid in his healing.

Xie Lian ended up staying for longer than a day, but as Mu Qing's meridians steadily patched themselves back up, they'd agreed he'd leave them alone and return later. Two people seeing Mu Qing in such a weak state would probably be too much for him.

*

After Xie Lian left, and the healers assured Feng Xin again and again that Mu Qing was on his way to speedy recovery, Feng Xin got antsy. The healers seemed to notice this and sent him out to find some herbs and other ingredients that could balance qi and help speed along Mu Qing’s recovery. Feng Xin hesitated, but in the end his desire to see Mu Qing wake up and recover as soon as possible outweighed the instinct to be at Mu Qing’s side. He left the healers with instruction that he be the first one alerted when Mu Qing woke up.

Feng Xin had spent the next two days either rushing around the capital and the mortal realm, looking for whatever the medics asked him to get, or spent it glaring holes in his palace wall and anyone who came into his line of vision.

*

Feng Xin heard noises of his middle officials worriedly lingering from outside the curtain that sectioned off the cot from the rest of the infirmary. Feng Xin knew he meant well, so he stopped himself from yelling at them to leave and instead sent out a sharp spike of killing intent, careful to keep it away from Mu Qing.

He scowled at the curtain until the officials outside scurried away. The last thing Mu Qing would need when he woke up was curious, worried stranger staring at him.

He was focused so intently on getting them to leave that he didn't notice the slight shuffle of fabric coming from the cot.

"You look like shit."

It was barely a croak. The voice was laboured and raspy from lack of use.

Feng Xin whirled around.

"Mu Qing."

The man in question, although dazed, began to look guarded at the intensity in Feng Xin's voice.

"Yes, good job, you have eyes," Mu Qing rolled his own eyes.

There was a beat of silence as Feng Xin held himself back from lunging at Mu Qing to embrace him.

But in spite of the fondness and relief to see Mu Qing awake, there was also anger.

"What the fuck?"

Mu Qing bristled. "I should be asking you that."

Feng Xin was not deterred.

"Why the fuck did you do that? Why did you let that thing jump you?"

Mu Qing looked tired, but the anger still flashed in his eyes.

"That's none of your fucking business. You have no right to be pissed off after what you said! Why are you even here? I didn't fucking ask for your help anyway!"

"You did!" Feng Xin burst out.

Mu Qing crossed his arms, clearly trying to hide how difficult the movement was for him to manage. He still looked angry, but that didn't bother Feng Xin. Mu Qing had every right to be angry at him for what he'd said, for as long as he wanted.

What hit Feng Xin like an arrow to the gut was the fear in Mu Qing's eyes. He was hiding it with a shroud of anger, but Feng Xin knew him well enough to know that it was nothing more than a mask. And for even a bit of fear to show itself alongside the anger, Mu Qing had to he really disconcerted.

"I... what?"

Sighing, Feng Xin softened his voice like he was talking to a cornered animal.

"You called for help. Do you not remember?"

Mu Qing took a shuddering breath. Then he let the anger flash in his eyes again. He scowled at Feng Xin.

"That's not fucking funny."

"I know it's not. I'm not joking."

Mu Qing paled. He held his crossed arms in front of him like a shield, like he was afraid Feng Xin would give a devastating revelation.

"What... What did I say?"

"..." Feng Xin suddenly found himself at a loss to explain. Mu Qing had just thought of him, had only said his name. Why did that sound so strange when Feng Xin thought about saying it out loud.

Mu Qing only grew paler at Feng Xin's silence. Feng Xin hated the apprehension he saw on his face. His eyes were so wide, he looked so scared, like he was preparing himself for a lethal blow.

"Feng Xin, what did I say?"

Feng Xin forced it out, but found his voice grew smaller as he said "Nothing. You only thought of me. Only my name."

The relief on Mu Qing's face faded the second he saw Feng Xin's conflicted expression.

Whatever Mu Qing had been about to say was interrupted as Feng Xin spoke at the same time.

"You-"

"I'm sorry."

Mu Qing seemed even more surprised at that. When he didn't talk, Feng Xin continued.

"I'm sorry. I was stupid. I shouldn't have said that about... your mother."

At the mention of his mother, Mu Qing suddenly looked tired. To Feng Xin's surprise, though, he didn't antagonise him further.

"I did tell you to kill yourself right before."

Feng Xin was stunned. What was happening? "Yes, but--" he sputtered a little. "You should not have to apologise right now, for anything. It's my fault you ended up like this--" Mu Qing winced at the reminder-- "and even if you hadn't--"

Mu Qing interrupted him. "It was my decision. We would have run into it eventually. The demon was the one causing the plague, he was trying to lure me back to my mother's-- to that spot in the forest."

"Mu Qing." Feng Xin felt even guiltier at the admission Mu Qing had just let slip. He couldn't bring himself to speak loudly, his voice low. "That was your mother's tomb?"

Mu Qing pressed his lips together into a thin line. Feng Xin had the very bad feeling he was going to cry.

"That doesn't-- Where is it? The monster, where did it go? Did it get away?"

"It's dead," Feng Xin assured him. "I killed it after you called."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Mu Qing seemed relieved at that. He looked frustrated, Feng Xin knew it was with himself. "And the tomb? Is it..."

"It's intact. The space felt drained of spiritual energy, but there were no damages."

A beat of silence.

"Mu Qing--"

"Feng Xin--"

"You go first," Feng Xin ceded.

"No. You go."

Feng Xin chuckled. If Mu Qing was back to being this stubborn, surely he was on his way to being perfectly fine in no time.

Then he remembered what he'd wanted to say, and his laugh (that Mu Qing rolled his eyes at) faded in place of trepidation. But Mu Qing had almost died. And the memory of seeing Mu Qing unconscious and bleeding, his breaths shallow, still stuck to Feng Xin. So.

"Maybe this isn't the right time."

Mu Qing scowled at him. "I'm fine. Just say it."

Feng Xin sighed. "this definitely isn't the right time, but--" he steeled himself a final time.

"I love you."

It came out more blunt than Feng Xin intended. His tone almost sounded angry. Shit, he really didn't know how to do this.

Mu Qing looked like he'd frozen to the spot. His eyes widened in shock, then realisation. Then they went cold.

"You don't need to do that."

Well. Feng Xin had thought about what Mu Qing's reaction would be, more often and more intently than he'd like to admit. But he hadn't thought Mu Qing would say that.

"I don't--"

"What, do you think I'm fragile now because you saw me weak?" His face twisted into a bitter smile. It was clear he tried to go for arrogant, but he mostly looked hurt. Vulnerable. Feng Xin hated it.

"That's not what--"

"I don't know what you think you saw or what you think I said, but I don't need to be coddled, Feng Xin. You should know that by now."

What the fuck?

Okay, Feng Xin knew Mu Qing was a champion of mental gymnastics. He was prepared for this. Even if Mu Qing did not love him, he deserved to know the truth.

"I'm not coddling you! Why the fuck would I do that?"

"Then what are you doing?" Mu Qing looked up at him, his eyes full of steel like he was facing down an enemy. Even directed at Feng Xin, even in this weak state, it was beautiful. Awe-inspiring. Feng Xin hated to admit it, but in that moment, like in many before, he understood Hua Cheng's worship of his beloved as a god.

In the face of that sight and that thought, Feng Xin said it.

"I've loved you for centuries." This time his voice came out perfectly gentle. He wanted to soothe Mu Qing, convince him. It didn't matter that he didn't feel the same, if he could convince Mu Qing that he was honest, that Mu Qing was safe with him, that he could crush Feng Xin's heart with his heel if he wanted to.

Mu Qing looked even more shocked now. His eyes had widened again, and in them, as the fear faded, Feng Xin saw something else. Something so painfully beautiful Feng Xin's heart constricted in his chest.

The slightest bit of tenuous hope.

Feng Xin wanted to keep that feeling in Mu Qing's eyes. He wanted to nurture it until it bloomed into full-blown joy.

"You--"

Feng Xin smiled. It made the fluttering something in Mu Qing's face grow.

Yes, he thought about saying, but he did not want Mu Qing to find a way to misread Feng Xin's expression of his sentiments.

So Feng Xin said it again. He looked Mu Qing in the eyes, and let every bit of sheer love he had held back over 800 years show in his expression and his voice as he said, slowly this time, "I love you."

Mu Qing kept looking at him, then shook his head as if he were trying to shake himself out of a dream.

"You're not fucking with me."

Feng Xin felt endlessly fond. "I'm not."

"Wait," Mu Qing said. He'd begun to relax, but he suddenly tensed up once more. "When you say you--" He seemed to be having trouble getting out the word.

Feng Xin was pretty sure he knew the right thing to say this time. If he didn't fear Mu Qing would read his mind the second he thought it and punch him, he would think Mu Qing was an idiot.

"I’m in love with you." He enunciated each word clearly, as if he were teaching the words to Mu Qing.

Mu Qing rolled his eyes. Then he seemed to realise what Feng Xin had said. His cheeks and ears blushed a pretty pink. Feng Xin wanted to bite it.

Mu Qing just stared at him for a while. When Feng Xin began to awkwardly fidget, wondering if he was even going to get an answer, Mu Qing spoke.

"Since you're not messing with me. I am also. Hm," he cleared his throat with a breath. "I also. Um." Mu Qing stuttered.

Oh wow…Okay Feng Xin, get it together.

Feng Xin knew how Mu Qing got when feelings were brought up like this. He needed to be steady, someone Mu Qing could rely on to get more comfortable with his emotions.

Feng Xin took Mu Qing's hand.

"You don't have to say it."

He was still smiling. Mu Qing rolled his eyes again, although a smile began forming on his own face too.

Mu Qing's blush deepened. "Shut up. I'm getting to it." Then, after a beat, "I want to."

Feng Xin thought the Heavens must be misnamed, because surely only the sight of Mu Qing's face right now could be deserving of that word.

After a number of aborted attempts (Feng Xin did not keep count because Mu Qing would kill him if he did. The number was six), Mu Qing had finally gathered himself enough to say it.

"I love you too." He'd said it stiffly, like a general delivering a speech, and Feng Xin stifled a laugh at the tone. "Well fuck you too,"Mu Qing muttered, thought there was no bite in it. He was smiling.

They looked at each other so fondly. Feng Xin had never thought Mu Qing would look at him that way. (He'd dreamed it, wished for it, but he'd never thought it would actually happen.)

The moment broke when Mu Qing yawned, his eyes drooping a little. He was clearly not back to his full strength, and the fear and stress of their conversation had faded enough for the exhaustion and his injuries make themselves known again.

Feng Xin squeezed his hand. "You can rest if you want to."

Judging by the "Hm" Mu Qing gave instead of resisting, Feng Xin could tell he was well on his way to falling asleep.

Mu Qing fell back into the covers.

Turning towards his seat, Feng Xin decided to let Mu Qing rest, when he felt a gentle tug on his hand. Turning back, he saw Mu Qing’s hand wrapped around his wrist, the injured man peaking at him through one squinting eye. Fuck. He looked so cute.

“Do you want something, Mu Qing?” He asked softly. He received no verbal answer, but another tug at his hand made his heart speed up.

Feng Xin had gotten very good at reading Mu Qing over the years. He knew what Mu Qing wanted, but he still wanted to be sure he'd understood correctly.

Tenderly, tentatively, he asked "Do you want me to sleep next to you?"

Another gentle tug.

Leaning onto the hand, he slowly crawled into the bed, lying beside Mu Qing. “Ok?” He whispered. He received no reply again, but Mu Qing made no attempts to move away when he inched closer to him, wrapping his arms around that deceitfully slim waist, pulling him against his chest.

Mu Qing immediately curled into his side like a cat, like he had once or twice in his sleep when they'd been in the same tent on missions together.

He began carding his fingers through his hair. They felt just as soft and silky as he’d dreamed they would be. Minutes passed, and as Feng Xin felt himself slipping into a cozy sleep, he felt a soft ‘I love you’ whispered against his neck.

In reply, he pulled him closer, holding him a bit tighter, as he pressed his lips into his hair.

“I love you too.”

***

Mu Qing had fallen asleep almost immediately once he’d curled up against Feng Xin and, although he’d never admit it, it was the comfiest sleep he’d had in a long while.

Which led to his situation now. It had been, what he could safely assume, a few hours since they’d fallen asleep, and Mu Qing honestly would have slept for another few hours, if it weren’t for that little nightmare he had that jostled him from his sleep.

Yes, he could’ve easily gone back to sleep, if it weren’t for one tiny problem. When he had fallen asleep, Feng Xin was still awake for quite a while.

Which is why he had forgotten all about the fact that Feng Xin snored.

It wasn’t loud by any means. It was a tiny rumble. But when a tiny rumble was constantly humming by his ear, it really took all his strength to not to push that stupid face away from him.

Mu Qing sighed. It had been almost three minutes since he’d woken up. He didn’t even want to open his eyes, in hopes that by some chance that he’d accidentally slip back into sleep. He supposed it was time he woke up.

He slowly opened his eyes, and huffed when he was met with the sight of Feng Xin’s broad chest. He wanted to bite them.

Carefully turning his head, he froze for a second before yelping and pushing Feng Xin away, consequently leading to him falling off the bed.

“What the fuck?!” Came a shout from on the floor.

But Mu Qing was too busy glaring holes at Pei Ming standing by the doorway, with Xie Lian right behind him.

Beside Mu Qing, Feng Xin shot up from the floor glaring at Mu Qing, before his eyes fell on the two martial gods. His expression turned sour as he huffed at Pei Ming then apologetic as he looked at Xie Lian.

Before either Mu Qing or Feng Xin could say anything, Pei Ming let out a loud cackle, then proceeded to huff that he’d always known that the two generals of the south would end up together. Behind him Xie Lian merely smiled at them happily, giving them a thumbs up before excusing himself.

“Fuck off” Feng Xin hissed. Pei Ming, who hadn’t shown any signs of leaving, cackled again before disappearing from the doorway.

The two generals let out a sigh. Looking at each other, each awkwardly waited for the other to speak.

Feng Xin cursed under his breath. Mu Qing was on the verge of rolling his eyes when he froze.

Feng Xin. Feng Xin was kissing him. Oh.

Letting out a surprised squeak, he felt Feng Xin chuckled against his lips. It was a moment before he regained his bearings.

Oh? Two could play that game. Mu Qing grabbed at Feng Xin’s collar, pulling him back onto the bed. As Feng Xin gasped, Mu Qing bit his lower lip, snickering at the yelp from Feng Xin.

Pulling back, the two gods stared at each other…

Mu Qing rolled his eyes.

“You ruined the fucking mood!” Feng Xin groaned. Mu Qing snickered, which turned into an embarrassed chuckle as Feng Xin threw that stupid dopey smile at him.

“Are you feeling okay? Do you want to go back to sleep?” Feng Xin questioned, flopping back on the bed. Mu Qing bit the poisoned reply on his tongue. No. That wouldn’t work. Not now.

“I’m alright. I was having a great sleep until your stupid snores ruined it,” he huffed out instead.

“…..” Feng Xin was only grinning at him like an idiot. Mu Qing face flushed as he realised what he’d just admitted. “You-“ “I’m glad you’re comfortable with me,” Feng Xin interrupted.

Mu Qing was about to retort, but caught himself. Feng Xin was being genuine. He wasn’t saying it as a joke.

“…Mn,” Mu Qing replied. He really wanted to hide under the bed right now. Instead, he fell back onto the bed, rolling onto his side facing away from Feng Xin. A few moments passed before he heard the sheets ruffle behind him.

His instincts almost made him kick Feng Xin away, but he ignored them, letting out a quiet sigh as muscular arms creeped up around his waist, a head resting against his back.

“…”

“…”

“I’ll try not to snore.”

Mu Qing kicked his foot, earning him a chuckle.

Just as he was about to fall asleep again, a voice in the general communication array caught their attention.

“Ling Wen. Hey Ling Wennn. I won the bet. Pay up.” Pei mings voice came in. “Which bet?” Ling Wen replied.

“You know, the one where I said the generals of the south would sleep with each other within a decade?”

There was a pause. “General Ming Guang, this is the general communication array.”

“…Shit.”

There was a pregnant pause, before screams of disbelief and ‘I knew it’ blasted through the array.

Without a word, Feng Xin and Mu Qing got out of the bed, grabbing their weapons before heading out to the emperor’s palace.

Sleep? Fuck that. They had some hunting to do.

***

Hope you guys enjoyed!

Reblogs are appreciated~

[jokeroutsubs]

🎈🍰Nace Birthday Special🍰🎈

Nace Jordan's interview for Suzy magazine, published 14.06.2024. English translation by drumbeat and @beeoftheanxieties, proof read by TWT klamstrakur.

📝ENG Translation: Joker Out's Nace Jordan: 60 Kilograms to Happiness

Twenty-nine-year-old Nace Jordan is considered one of the most emotional, thoughtful, and responsible Slovenian musicians.

CAPTION: He’s spreading tolerance and respect to everyone.

He was the last one to join the group of four highly admired young men, but that doesn't mean he's the fifth or the spare wheel. His inspiring story makes him a great role model for teenagers, showing that working on yourself is worthwhile, because you never know when an extraordinary opportunity will come your way. After making a major change in his lifestyle, he got rid of past burdens to focus on a bright, melodic future. With the loving support of his girlfriend, the first signs of a family are already visible. They've been joined by Pino, an adorable dachshund, who brought new responsibilities and lots of joy.

CAPTION: Joker Out gained a first-class member with Nace.

INTERVIEWER: How quickly did you feel accepted as fully fledged member, considering you were not a co-founder of Joker Out?

Nace: Initially it might have appeared as if I instantly took on the role of bass guitarist with confidence, although deep down I was quite confused. The guys already had their banter, even a kind of a jargon I didn't feel familiar with. They are after all five years younger than me, almost a different generation. But they have welcomed me in a very embracing way, we have started to develop a communal story and we have become a unit. Even after we had recorded 'Carpe Diem' and I was offered a permanent place in the band, I was still haunted by the feeling that I might not be perceived easily as a part of the band by the most devoted fans.

Was Eurovision your ultimate test?

Sort of. I was told I aced it, and as a fill-in member, it made me happy when the decision to welcome me into the family was final. The whole idea was to first try and see how compatible we were, without any pressure or expectations. On stage, it was obvious that we were a perfect match. But I tended to hold back when it came to the bigger decisions. Bojan is, after all, the frontman, the dominant one, so I didn't want to interfere with the pre-established dynamics. It was only after the Eurovision euphoria was over that a new era began and with it the most precious gift - the appreciation of the entire group. They are exceptional young individuals, extremely talented, and they wanted someone who could feel their vibe and bring them together, not tear them apart.

This opportunity has come as a reward for your challenging personal journey, a tremendous transformation of body and spirit. How has this affected your self-image?

I am still trying to work on myself. I have lost 60 kilos and broken free from the shackles of a troubled adolescence, when the slightest deviation from the average is frowned upon. It is unimaginable that you can lose so many kilograms, one whole person. It was gradual. After the first ten, you are overcome with excitement. Your reflection in the mirror gets nicer by the week, you gain confidence in yourself and see that it is not difficult to follow your goal. I gained an unstoppable will to keep going, and the most extraordinary things started to happen. I got to play in the backing band of the popular show ' V petek zvečer' ('Friday Night'), and then realised a childhood dream when I managed to join a band as skillful as the Jokers. A time came when I walked around with a huge smile on my face and I hoped that it would not fade from my face for a long time to come. At the same time, I was driven to give it my best shot, because I simply couldn't let this opportunity slip away.

You have used the dark times of COVID for something bright, inspirational. When did you decide you were tired of living in a bigger body?

The stomach pains were the first indicator that I had to roll up my sleeves and work on myself. I had always been chubbier, but I got saved by my height because the kilograms were evenly spread. I was able to exercise, go hiking, [and] be active in water sports, particularly wakeboarding. I wasn't immune to the looks of naysayers, that someone with so much weight could move so capably. I had reached a point where I no longer felt comfortable. I didn't like myself, the walks were getting more and more exhausting, I didn't have a girlfriend for a while, which was a big motivation to change my lifestyle. At the beginning, I was embarrassed to work out in front of others. Would they be thinking, 'What is this fatso doing here now'? So at home I would climb up and down the stairs from the basement to the attic. For half a year, every evening. First for 15 minutes, then I progressed to 45. It seemed like a waste to ruin this effort with unhealthy food, so I changed my diet. I eliminated all the guilty pleasures and after the first 20 lost, I decided I was ready to train outdoors. By running. It might not have been the smartest idea because of my knees, but it all worked out well in the end. Something that I resented for a long time became my norm. To this day, I still enjoy putting on my running shoes to clear my mind. Whenever my mind is in a frenzy, running saves me.

Humans are really odd, shallow creatures. We can't see what's underneath the excess weight. It was only after you have transformed that the requests for more collaborations started coming in. How did you manage to heal these emotional scars from the entertainment business, where the physical appearance still takes precedence over the heart?

That's the hardest part, not to lose faith in yourself. You question your self worth because of the labels the public has stuck on you. Of course, the medical aspect of excess weight is the first signal for a radical change. The results would be significantly better, if people around us were more sparse with negative comments and dismissive attitudes towards anything that is not to their liking. I must confess that I have never felt better than I did after saying goodbye to cigarettes, alcohol, and, for a period, even meat. Imagine you are carrying a 60 kilogram backpack. And then you put it down. A different world opens up.

In all this, music has been your most faithful companion and supporter. Would it have been possible to go through all this without it?

The power of art is amazing. The bass guitar is my lifelong love. Even if I was a butcher or a carpenter, I would play and create for myself. We are used to these kind of stories in the movies, where after a difficult ordeal you find yourself in the midst of your teenage dreams. After the third concert with the Jokers, a girl came up to me and confided that she was contemplating suicide, but our songs had saved her. She thanked us for taking the time for our fans and talking to them. Their honesty is a sign that you are part of something great. The power of music goes beyond the limits of our imagination. There are countless similar confessions. This realisation is also therapeutic for us. You receive confirmation that you are doing something right.

Have you ever wondered why you play music at all?

Many times. The doubts of who will listen to my work, or now our work, are a constant in the career of a professional musician. But if you put your heart first, you quickly get the confirmation that we are not just pretty boys on stage, but individuals with depth and a message.

As a teenager, what motivated you to follow your aspirations?

I wanted to be like my cousin. He is five years older than me and he had his own band. He introduced me to foreign bands, like Led Zeppelin. It sounded rather innocent, but it was the start of a profound passion. Recently, Jan, the guitarist, and I were talking about the role models who have defined us. I told him that there must be an aspiring young teenager in Slovenia who looks up to him and has begun strumming the strings because of him. I am convinced that we have brought a breath of fresh air to the local scene and given a boost to young bands who are not yet established. It is very healthy to encourage others, to be each other's support and competition. I didn't feel that before.

When did you first feel that the stage was your everything?

We had a kind of talent show at the school camp. I wanted to sing the ballad 'Behind Blue Eyes' by The Who, but the teacher wouldn't let me because it wasn't an appropriate song. I cried with sadness, so she mellowed down. I took advantage of her faith, put on my sunglasses and a headscarf. That's when something stirred inside of me. Finally, now that we are touring Europe and are excited to discover how the power of music brings people together, I am calmed. Even as a kid I stood my ground and I am grateful to my stubbornness for getting me this far.

You have a strong bond with your mother. How does she keep track of your exceptional progress?

She is proud to say that she is my biggest 'fan'. She was happiest at Eurovision, which she has always followed. It was the first time she was able to experience it live, she and Bojan's mum cheered loudly and I have to admit that it's the greatest thing to be able to make the most important woman in your life happy. It has only strengthened our bond. We have a trusting, friend-like relationship, but first and foremost she is my mum, with all the worries and all the loving helpfulness. I was not a typical child and she had to endure all my whims. She was constantly encouraging me to take up a sport, but I preferred to stay at home and draw. She tolerated my struggles at school because she knew I wasn't like the others and allowed me to develop to my full potential. My younger sister is also responsible for making me who I am. Her kind words are a balm for a wounded soul.

Have you always wanted to be a musician?

As a child, I had two things in mind - to be a zoo manager, because I love animals, and to be a singer, even though I later swapped the microphone for a guitar. Sculpting fascinated me. In short, expression through art.

Your love for animals has lasted. You have a three-month-old dachshund named Pino in your lap.

Finally! I've been longing for a puppy for so many years, and dachshunds are one of my favourite breeds. If music hadn't drawn me in, I would certainly be a vet. One summer break I was helping out at a wildlife sanctuary instead of playing with my friends. It was a wonderful experience.

You are away from home a lot. How do you maintain your long-distance relationship with your girlfriend?

Some people reassure us that technology helps because we can see each other through the camera. But it is not the same. It's important that all my loved ones and dear ones, meaning my girlfriend, my mum, my family, and my friends, believe in our work and are willing to sacrifice time with me so that I can follow my dreams. But we are in constant contact with each other and we let each other know how much we love each other all the time.

~ -~ - ~ - PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, AND IF YOU QUOTE, PLEASE LINK BACK TO THE ORIGINAL POST!

[hotchnisslover]

I Craw Home To Her

pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Emily Prentiss word count: 2.101 a/n: Hii, so... this is my first fic open to the world and in english. Hope you like it. I don't really know how to tag things here and all so you can just tell me and i'll change anything.

I wrote the fic based on @/itshotchniss (twt) idea. It's her and also at Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62778148

It had been three years since Hotchner had left the BAU. Three years since he’d disappeared from her life, not just as a colleague, but as a possibility of something more. Emily had tried to move on, to find some semblance of normality in her new role as Unit Chief. But even with all the responsibilities and late nights, there were moments when the memories of him crept back in, uninvited and overwhelming. She really tried with Mendoza! She even met his daughter… but it turns out, he wasn't Hotch

On this evening, as the city lights shimmered through New York streets, Emily needed a distraction. The weight of the week’s cases had started to settle into her bones and she was really in need of a break, just a few hours of quiet, a moment of peace without thinking about the case. She wandered close to the hotel and found a small but cozy bar, with an intimate atmosphere and live performances. It was the perfect spot to get lost for a while. The bar was quiet, with low lights, with a few people also in need of a drink, engaged in muted conversations. Emily took a seat at the bar, ordering a glass of red wine, her thoughts still a little tangled from the case she had left behind. The buzz of the room felt oddly soothing and she noticed it was an open mic night.

As the evening wore on, the host called for the next performer, and Emily barely looked up. She was used to the low-key nature of open mic nights, where aspiring musicians tried out their latest songs or warmed up onstage. But then the first chord rang out clear, deliberate, and weirdly familiar. Her eyes shot up and her heart stopped.

There, standing alone under the dim light, was Aaron Hotchner. A guitar in his hands. No band, no backup, just him, bare and vulnerable, strumming slowly as the first few notes filled the room. The crowd was a quiet murmur of chatter, but to Emily, the world had just vanished and it was just the two of them. The sound of his guitar, the way his fingers moved over the strings, the raw emotion behind every note. He didn't seem to notice her at first, lost in his music. But as the song began to unfold, it became clear that this was no ordinary performance. 

It was a song that seemed he had written just for her. Each word he sang seemed to cut through the years between them, each note carrying a weight of things unsaid, feelings untouched. She couldn’t tear her eyes away. His voice, deep and resonant, wrapped itself around her like a memory she hadn't wanted to revisit, but couldn't escape.

“The silence screams, The echo of your voice still haunts my dreams. I walked away, thinking it was the best, But I left behind pieces of my chest. In every room, I see your face, A memory I can't erase. Did you ever felt the same, Or am I just the one to blame? The time we lost, Was it worth the cost? I never got to say goodbye, Now I'm here, asking why. I wonder if you feel the same as I If I could turn back, I’d make it right, But it’s too late, you’re out of sight. I’m still searching for you in the sky. I never meant to walk away, But it was too dangerous for me to stay. Now all I have are these memories, Of the way we were and what we could’ve been”

And then, for just a moment, their eyes met. She saw the flicker of recognition in his eyes, he stopped singing for a moment, a silent acknowledgment, before he focused again on the music. But the connection was undeniable. It felt like everything from the past years, when he was still there, was suddenly rushing back to the surface, raw and unfiltered. Emily wasn't sure what had brought her here, to this quiet bar, this late. But she knew, without a doubt, that tonight was going to be different. This was a moment that would change everything. The song ended with a soft strum and for a moment, there was nothing but the noise of the room. The audience kept on talking, they didn't know what was happening right now. Emily felt her heart pounding in her chest, the emotions she'd buried deep within herself coming to the surface in a rush. He had been singing about her, about them.

The crowd applauded politely, but Emily didn’t hear any of it. Her gaze was locked on Hotch, who now set the guitar down on the small stool beside him. He seemed to stand there for a bit longer than necessary, looking out over the room, avoiding her eyes, almost as if he was giving her space to process or maybe even waiting for her to make the first move. She didn’t know what to do. Should she go up to him? Say something? Do something? But her feet felt glued to the floor, her breath shallow. What would she say? How could she put years of unspoken words into something that made sense? She couldn't… She came out of her trance when Hotch stood in front of her. “Emily?” 

Emily's breath caught in her throat as she finally looked up at him. The space between them felt impossibly vast, even though he was standing right in front of her. For a moment, neither of them spoke. It was as if the world outside had disappeared again, leaving just the two of them, suspended in time.

"Hotch…" she whispered, her voice trembling slightly as if saying his name after so long stirred something deep inside her.

He stood there, looking almost vulnerable, his posture stiff but his eyes soft. "Emily" he said her name like it was the first time he’d ever said it. The way his voice cracked slightly made her heart ache.

"I…" She hesitated, unsure of how to cross the gap of the years they’d lost. "I never thought I’d see you again."

He gave a small, almost regretful smile. "I never thought you’d be here," he said, his voice low. "But it seems fate had other plans." Emily’s gaze softened, her heart still pounding in her chest. The last few years had been a blur of work, of pretending to move on, but the truth was she never really had. Not when it came to him. Hotch had always been there, in the back of her mind, a silent but constant presence.

She took a breath, steadying herself. "I... I never expected this, Hotch. After everything, I didn’t think we’d be here. Not like this. I never knew you could sing"

He nodded, his eyes intense but gentle. "I didn't expect it either. I didn’t sing. I had plenty of time after leaving the BAU, so I took some music lessons” Emily looked at him, her thoughts a tangled mess. The last few years had been spent pretending to move forward, to bury the feelings she’d never fully allowed herself to have for Hotch and now, standing here, with him in front of her, those feelings rushed back all at once… raw, unfiltered, and overwhelming. "Music lessons?" she repeated, trying to steady herself, but her voice faltered slightly. "After everything that happened, I didn’t think you’d even be able to find something to help you move on, let alone... thi” She motioned to the guitar he had just set down. “I didn’t though you would be able to not work like crazy" Hotch’s gaze softened, but there was a heaviness in his eyes. "I didn’t expect it either, can… can i sit?" he asked quietly, his voice carrying an unfamiliar vulnerability. She just nods for him and he sits in front of her in the booth "I didn’t expect to sing. But sometimes, when you’re forced to be alone with your thoughts... you end up finding pieces of yourself you never knew were missing and after having to leave my life behind, I needed something to fill the void" He say without talking the gaze off of hers.

Emily couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, but it was bitter. "I get that," she said softly, her eyes not leaving his either. "I tried, too. Tried to move on, tried to forget... but it wasn’t that easy, was it? You left and even put my name to replace you"

Hotch’s face changes, the years between them reflected in his gaze. "I should have said something, Emily. I should have said something back then." He paused, the weight of his words settling between them. "I didn’t know how. I didn’t think I had the right to feel anything for you, not with everything we were dealing with. There was never the right time."

She swallowed hard, the truth in his words stinging more than she’d expected. "But you did feel something" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

His lips tightened, like he was fighting with his own emotions. "I always did." He ran a hand through his hair now with some gray locks of hair, the gesture making him seem even more vulnerable. "But I couldn't act on it. Not then. Not with all that was going on"

Emily’s heart ached at the truth in his words, but a small part of her resented it. She wanted to argue, to tell him that she would have chosen him, regardless of the risks. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. The years of silence between them had created a barrier she wasn’t sure how to break.

"I never expected you to say something, Hotch," she said. Her voice cracking slightly. "But I never stopped thinking about it either. About what we could’ve been if we’d just... allowed ourselves to feel"

He got up and sit next to her, the space between them now filled with all the things they had never said, all the moments they’d let slip away. "I never wanted to leave" he admitted quietly. "I didn’t want to walk away from you. But I needed to protect Jack and couldn’t deal with being a father and keep doing the work that would eventually put him in danger again"

Emily sat back against the booth, her fingers still lightly touching his. The weight of the moment felt by them, but not in a bad way. It was like everything had led to this point, this conversation. She looked at Hotch, the man who had shaped so much of her life, yet had been so far out of reach for years. "I don't know what it is about you, Hotch" Emily started, her voice calm but thick with emotion, "but every time I think I’ve moved on, every time I think I’ve figured out how to leave the past behind, something reminds me of you and it never goes away."

Hotch’s eyes softened at her words. "Emily, I-"

"No," she interrupted, shaking her head gently. "No more apologies. No more regrets. It’s just us now, okay? No expectations, no pressure. We don’t have to fix everything. We don’t have to make it perfect. But what I do know is that I've spent too long thinking about what we could’ve been… And maybe now… just for tonight at least… We can stop wondering and just… be"

Hotch exhaled deeply, looking at her as if he was seeing her for the first time in a way he hadn’t allowed himself before. The walls he'd built around himself, the ones he thought he needed to protect himself and Jack, seemed to fall down a bit in Emily’s presence. "You don’t have to carry all this by yourself anymore" Emily whispered, her heart racing as she leaned forward slightly. "Not unless you want to." He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he sat there, as though processing everything she'd said and everything he'd held back for so long.

"I never thought I’d be ready for this," he said softly. His eyes never leaving hers. "But maybe I am now. Maybe I don’t need to have everything figured out. Maybe I just need to… let things happen."

And for the first time in years, there was a sense of peace between them. The understanding that no matter where life took them, they'd always be tied to this moment. A promise that they were no longer running from their feelings and whatever came next, they would face it together..

[lonigiri]

model chapter two; mew meister

masterlist

"you live in my dream state"- see you again by tyler, the creator

(after the dog picture on twt theres a written part 👍)

"you're fucking kidding me." she deadpanned. "language ms. ln." the professer warned shooting her a warning look. "this is your model. you failed to give me a name and contact information for one of your own so i have assigned one for you. you were made aware of this at the start of the semester, and when the project started. there is no reason for any suprise." the tall male had a semi-smirk on his face. she noticed this obviously, she was staring at him like a hawk. why him. of all the men on this campus. HIM. she doesnt even know his name for crying out loud, she just knows he's weird. and she doesnt want to get to know him. her eye started twitching slightly when her professer started explaining to the tall male about what being her model will entail. spending hours, upon hours, with her, basically a helping hand whenever she needed it. sure it sounded great to any normal girl, spending hours with the university's starting middle blocker. but for her it sounded like hell.

they walked down the hallway side by side. his hands burried in his black sport jacket. she noticed the back said kuroo. must've been his name she thought. she chewed the inside of her cheek. she knows she should say something, but she just doesnt like him. plain and simple. she thinks he's weird and he just gets what he wants because he's attractive. "whats your twitter." she begrudgingly asked his eyes widened. "um, well, can you just give me yours, my username is kinda long and awkward." "uh, okay?" she looked at him like he was crazy, and i mean, she wasnt wrong. she gave him her twitter account and they went their separate ways.

taglist- @itsdragonius @rirk-ke @giocriedpower @0tsukie @pkjay @emotiandon (please fill out this form to be added to taglist, i am not accepting comments!)

[pianostarinwonderland]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AZUL

i have nothing prepared for you except my wet soppy thoughts

maybe i might rush write something bc i do have a few ideas on what to write

fucking breathes

the best. fucking. groovy. ever.

like everyone go home right now.

I have tried to think of every way they could make him look good but it ends up being how they could fuck it up because I’m gonna be honest, a lot of Azul’s recent cards are either decent or not hitting that well 🤡🤡

but this. THIS.

HOLLLLYYYYYYYY FUCK IT’S EVERYTHING

THE LIGHTING . THE THE FUCKING FUCK.

TEH ? VMS LISTEN. HE'S THE CHARACTER FOR EVIL SMIRKS, SO OFC THIS SERIES OF EVIL GROOVIES WAS GONNA BE PERFECT FOR HIM BUT BU T BU T

THIS IS SOOOOOO GOOOD. LIKE??????? DEADASS THE BEST ???? SMIRK??????? HE'S EVER MADE?????????? AND HE LOOKS SOOOO MUCH LIKE HIMSELF

THIS IS ALSO THE BEST ANGLE WE'VE EVER GOTTEN THAT SHOWS HIS 'BALD' SIDE AND THAT'S S OGUFKCKNGJ GOOD

AND AND

🧍‍♀️

h

he hey sir.

your hand looks cold.

m mm mind if i h hh hh hhhh hhol— gunshots are fired

ADN CAN I JUST

CRY ABOUT

PART OF YOUR WORLD BEING THE PAINTING LIKE LEI EK JLGSLKGNLSKDNGOADSNGOAINSAONGOAISNGI0AOHGIOAHGSDHIFGHSDOIGFHNSDINGIDSNJGKVDS

FUCKKKKK THIS WAS WHAT I'VE WANTED FOR THE PAST FWE MONTHS

THE PART OF YOUR WORLD SEGMETJKNJENJKSNGFNDKSJNGKSDKGNSDKLNGLSDGNDSLGS

FUCKGN ISN FCYRING

LISTEN LISTEN.

LISTEN.

I WILL DROP A HOT TAKE RIGHT NOW

THE LITTLE MERMAID SONG THAT DEFINES AZUL IS NOT POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS BUT IT'S PART OF YOUR WORLD

AZUL'S SCHEMING AND CUNNING IS DEFINITELY FROM URSULA AND IS REFLECTED SOOOO MUCH IN POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS

BUT HIS DREAMS

HIS GOALS

HIS AMBITIONS AND DETERMINATION TO MAKE HIS WISHES COME TRUE

PART OF YOUR WORLD REFLECTS THAT.

AZUL WOULD NOT BE AZUL IF IT WASNT FOR PART OF YOUR WORLD

AND THE SPECIFIC PART THEY SHOW OF PART OF YOUR WORLD. IT'S THE PART WHERE ARIEL WAS DETERMINED TO GET TO THE SURFACE

THAT'S LITERALLY AZUL

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

OUGOSHGHSODGHSUGUDSOHGODSGHOSDGDSGOSDHGISDOSDNGDGDSNGNSDOIGNIONAONGNAONSGIOSOGA

ok and can i just

scream about his story

BECAUSE. GOD FUCK THAT STORY LEFT ME DEAD.

loike like AZUL TALKED ABOUT HIS GRANDMA?????

THE SECOND BDAY STORY IN A ROW THAT HE TALKS ABOUT HOW HIS GRANDMA RAISED HIM AND AND HOW SHE'S BEEN SUCH A BIG INFLUENCE IN HIS LIFE

he's a grandma's boy ouhghfohfgf he loves his grandma sm he respects her and cherishes her goddddddddd

i love how he's aware that true compassion comes from not just spoiling someone but also disciplining them and whatnot

it adds to the balanced theme that he has going on

i also just rly love in general that azul loves and respects the maternal figures in his life not only because it makes him more respectable but also because it ties in with the feminism theme that you find in the little mermaid (whether animated or live action)

then then THE WHOLE LIKE,,, PART WHERE AZUL TELLS JAMIL THAT HE WAS SO SURPRISED AT ALL THE NEW SCENTS ON LAND THAT HE WAS SNIFFING AROUND LITERALLY

i first saw that part in an out of context screenshot, where jamil's like "lol haha you were just sniffing around everywhere omg" and i was like HUH?????

@/doom on twt also pointed out that it might be why Azul's into colognes and i think i shuold just be defenestrated at this point from how insane i've been goign

THE BARBEQUE PART THO

IT'S SO CUTE

AZUL, FLOYD, AND JADE DOING A BARBECUE....... WHEN THEY BARELY KNEW ABOUT LAND CULTURE AND PHYSICS................

AND THEY BURNT EVERYTHING LMAOOOO AND THE TWEELS BLEW SMOKE INTO HIS FACE THAT WAS JUST SO CUTE HONESTLY

jamil's like wow that sounds funny haha and honestly same jamil same

AND THEN THE PART WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT THE PR FOR NRC

god typical azul for doing it so that he can boost himself before graduatign

but i also got a lil emotional on that part not gonna lie bc he's Still grabbing opportunities to achieve his goals and he's working hard for them and god honestly that's one of the main reasons why i fell for him and i still love him for it

i also like

fucking died over his voiced line s

wtf

wtf are those lines

azul actually talking about love and crushes in his groovy....... but it's just him saying it's great cause he can exploit it lmaoooo

babe you're gonna be a disaster when you actually like someone i know it

jamil's already bordering on it, but if you actually end up liking Liking someone it's so over

personally what really fucking sent me though was Azul going "I take art as one of my courses so I can explain to you any painting you're interested in" LIKE

CMON.

CMONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.

lore on NRC courses???

but also the way that's phrased sounds like art is an elective you can opt to take ? ?

and he CHOSE to take art? //? /

hELL O

AHAHFAHSHFOIAHSIOFHIOASHFIAS THE ARTIST IN ME IS GOING AWAOHOAHGOAH

ofc Azul looks at art in a business sense, but i love that he's so wiling to branch out and rly appreciate it

cause how many ppl out there put down art :')) employers in particular are really iffy about this

Azul's also designed mostro lounge so you know he has his own style

also wtf Azul, you have your tentacles in business, in science and maths (science would be chemistry ish because of alchemy and arithmetic is Literally listed as his talent), and now in the arts

just.

just

man

happy birthday ashengrotto. take my tears and my insanity for now until i can writey ou smth better

[bepoucorp]

I am Amira, the breadwinner for my family after my father's death. We were forced to flee to the southern part of Gaza after the war intensified. Our home, my university, and my workplace were bombed😢.

We are now in desperate need to escape this danger and continue my dream and educational and professional journey💔. I kindly ask you to donate or share the campaign link. Your support can save our lives and give us a chance to live in peace🍉.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart🙏.

Hi Amira, thank you for reaching out to me! (edited) Amira's gofundme link: Fundraiser by Abdallah Alanqar : Amira's Story: Between Hope and Resilience - A Call for Soli (gofundme.com) @/ samerpal: https://gofund.me/198b6d57

and some other links ive been slowly collecting: daily clicks: http://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/… a master document that contains support for Palestine & other countries: https://x.com/seaweedlagoon//Seaweedlagoon/status/1772449954046279818… @/ zinh_1's (twt) go fund me: https://gofund.me/535d5423

[somereaderinblue]

Today is day 2 of Trigun Fanfiction Appreciation Week & with it, another rec list.

Gen AUs

Geranium Dreams by the_13th_battalion, rated T

Tangled AU where Vash is Rapunzel, WW is Flint & Conrad is Mother Gothel. Oh! And we can't forget the MVP: Kuroneko as Pascal!

promise of an ending by Altered_Karma, rated T

Although it does take elements from Tangled (re: locked in the tower!) it doesn't follow the movie's storyline. Instead, the author adds magical elements that don't involve long hair & another form of conflict. There's even fanart for this on twt.

Daylight (You Got Me Cursing The Daylight) by Sblurg, rated E

A Violet Evergarden AU we never asked for but absolutely needed. Full of angst & hurt/comfort that gives its inspo a run for its money.

Otherworldly by WarriorNun, rated M

Pacific Rim AU with its own dashes of worldbuilding & despite the apocalyptic setting it implies, has its share of comedic & slice-of-life moments.

The Courtship of Nicholas D Wolfwood by @screamingshark, rated M

Another fic I want to absolutely devour. A Modern AU where Plants are Mers. The author does a wonderful job of writing their courting rituals & culture in gen as well as plot twists & cliffhangers that drive you nuts. You can find fanart for it on their acc & some @poibeansart.

And Still Have Wings (with which to fly) by @alpha-hydra, rated E

Shape of Water AU where WW goes from fugitive/con-artist/former assassin to janitor & upon meeting Vash, is willing to go back to being a fugitive again if it means freedom. There's also fanart.

Show the symbol on your chest by @somereaderinblue, rated G

For a tiny bit of self-promotion a Superhero AU, more specifically a Teen Titans AU where Meryl is Robin, Milly is Starfire, WW is Beast Boy, Livio/Razlo is Cyborg & Vash is Raven. No knowledge of TT is necessary.

Tesla fics

cross my heart and hope to die by beelzebby666 & Lightning Rod by @needle-noggins, rated M

Both these fics explore the fact that Tristamp Elendira has Tesla's eye. They were done during Trigun Body Horror Week so heed the tags.

Happy by Plumerias_of_BlueMaroon, rated M

A heartbreaking Tesla POV. We know how this story goes, we know how it ends. We're simply seeing this story through her eyes & it's no less tragic. As someone who's studied child development, having to read this child look at how so many treat her & wonder 'What did I do wrong?' brings another level of hurt.

There Are Differences Between Our Hearts by Marley_Millions, rated T

Another Tesla POV fic where she expresses her frustrations to her sisters, the only ones who always listen to her through it all.

Run Red River (Run Home and Back Again) by PSIDontKnow, rated T

Tesla tears reality asunder for one simple reason: to find a universe where she is loved instead of martyred.

chrysanthemum by schrodingers__cat, rated T

The humans took many things from Tesla. Her autonomy, her body, her freedom, the concept of love, happiness & acceptance that didn't come with hurting. The only thing she wants back is her chance to be an older sister.

the half-extinguished light by reclamation, rated T

I accidentally discovered this fic while checking out their pfp & became intrigued by the Frankenstein concept. After reading it, I can't help but wonder who the true monster is. Is it Tesla/Vash? Is it Nai, who will soon become Millions Knives? Or maybe even Rem & Conrad, who were accomplices.

trouble comes in threes by @corgiss, rated T

TIME FOR SOME TESLA LIVES AUS! Here, we have them being NML's weird desert cryptids disaster siblings. There's also this fanart.

Sun, Moon, and Stars by @wendywhite13, rated T

Another Tesla Lives AU where Rem puts her foot down on day 1, causing a domino effect. This world is kinder, but it's still full of social & political challenges the family has to navigate through together.

Purple Hyacinth AU by @somereaderinblue, rated T & G

My own Age-Reversal + Role Swap AU where Tesla lives because in this world, she was born last while Vash was born first.

VW fics

sex shop/mortician by @sascake, rated E & M

As the title implies, Vash owns a sex shop, WW is a mortician & they have kids. It's always interesting to see Vash with jobs other than a baker or florist in a modern AU.

Eye to Eye by severalspoons, rated T

Reminder that for all his goofiness, Vash is the most perceptive character in-universe. Despite this, he chooses to love someone with a mask just as ironclad as his own.

Tomas Fried Rice by InkedEntropy, rated G

VW cook fried rice together, and then Vash cooks it alone.

My Body's Moving Into Retrograde by Sacramental_Wine, rated E.

Vash never hesitates to give his love & body, WW makes him receive it for once.

The Wall by Dezace, rated T

Canon-divergence wherein Knives captures Vash the Stampede decades before canon, allowing him to meet WW before he became the Punisher.

upon broken wings by maxxstrom, rated E

If I had a nickel for everytime I found a VW fic where they met as EoM captives, I'd have two nickels. Not a lot, but it's happened twice. Unlike the prev fic, this is a world where Vash stayed with Knives, never becoming the Stampede. However, this means he meets a WW who's yet to hit cynicism rock-bottom. Vash becomes WW's saint & he in turn becomes Vash's salvation.

And that's all I have for day 2. Hope you enjoy the fics & leave a kudo/comment for the respective author, have it be on AO3 or Tumblr. I wish all my fellow Trigun fans/artists/writers a good time!

[rsatoru]

© art credits @qmthtdy on twt ! >^<

Fans consider the 25th of July to be a "SatoSugu day": the ship's name in Japanese (条五, pronounced "natsu go") means 725 — 07/25. The ship name GoGe literally translates to "five summers".

Anyway, it should be okay. We’re the strongest.

SATORU TO SUGURU, CHAPTER 66

Satoru – “You scared?”

Suguru – “Not really. We should be fine. We’re the strongest.”

— Chapter 72

Yaga – “Why did you let him go?”

Satoru – “Are you... really asking me that?”

Yaga – “No, you’re right... I’m sorry.”

— Chapter 78

There’s no way I would mistake his residuals.

SATORU TO YAGA, CHAPTER 0.3

It was my best friend. My one and only.

SATORU TO YUTA, CHAPTER 0.4

Satoru – “Now, now, don’t be spouting crazy talk to my students.”

Suguru – “Satoru! It’s been so long!”

— Chapter 0.3

Suguru – “Sorry, Satoru. The girls want to try the crepe shop on Takeshita Street. I’ll be on my way.”

Satoru – “Leaving? Not on my watch.”

— Chapter 0.3

Satoru Gojo is Master Geto’s one and only best friend, after all.

MIMIKO AND NANAKO, CHAPTER 112

My six eyes tell me you’re Suguru Geto. But my soul knows otherwise!

SATORU, CHAPTER 90

“I could't follow him. I couldn't stop him.”

GOJO THINKING ABOUT GETO[4]

Someone who doesn't want to be saved is like the setting sun sinking into the mountains. No matter how you hold out your hand, there's no way to reach them. There was no way to reach him.

GOJO THINKING ABOUT GETO, JUJUTSU KAISEN 0 (LIGHT NOVEL)[5]

Gojo Satoru. His appearance meant that this was the end. Or rather, to Geto — there was no other way this could end. In that way, it was easier to accept that this was his fate.

JUJUTSU KAISEN 0 (LIGHT NOVEL)[6]

The strongest sorcerer; the wickedest curse user. Now they were mortal enemies, as irreconcilable as oil and water. Yet now, as they chatted on this little road by Jujutsu Tech, it was hard not to remember. To remember the past, when they laughed together. Idly chatting in the classroom, getting lectured by Yaga, walking shoulder-to-shoulder. What they were doing, what they wanted to do, what they wanted to make of themselves — as long as the two of them were together, none of that was ever in doubt. Days like that, long ago.

JUJUTSU KAISEN 0 (LIGHT NOVEL)[7]

Gojo felt like he didn't know what face to make. His words, his every expression, even his bad habits — they made Gojo feel like each one was full of nostalgia, to the point of fond annoyance. A conversation between the two of them alone, ten years separated. Before it became a curse, Gojo opened his mouth.

JUJUTSU KAISEN 0 (LIGHT NOVEL)[8]

To live for the purpose of being yourself. And for that goal, Geto could only continue to pursue his twisted dream, drowning himself in the curse that lies in the gap between ideal and reality. This was the final confession of a man who could only choose to warp himself, who had erased himself in pursuit of his goals. The only person who could bear such a curse was Gojo Satoru. Where did it go wrong? And how could they start over again?

JUJUTSU KAISEN 0 (LIGHT NOVEL)[9]

Moments * After Toji’s death both Satoru and Suguru inherited what was left of him: Satoru took in his children, Megumi and Tsumiki, while Suguru got posession of his another “child”, worm-like cursed spirit that called Geto “mother”.

* Geto’s execution order was issued right after the village massacre; Gojo has been postponing the task for 10 years after that.

* In a private conversation with Yuta Okkotsu, Gojo admits to his student, that he has a personal theory about love being the most twisted curse.[10] The only known negative incident in Gojo's personal life was caused by Geto, who betrayed Gojo and became a criminal.

* In their final scene together, Geto tells Gojo that in this world he cannot really laugh from the bottom of his heart. Gojo's final words to Geto are unknown, but whatever he said made Suguru laugh for the last time in his life.

* In chapter 0.4, Gojo tells Yuta that Geto is the only close friend he’s ever had. It is notable, that Gojo uses the present tense in the original Japanese panel, even though Geto’s life has just ended.[11]

* Gojo refused to send Geto’s body to Shoko Ieiri for an autopsy (and subsequent cremation).[12]

* While discussing their strategy to immobilize Gojo in order to seal him, curse Jogo says, “Even a thousand measly human lives wouldn’t be enough to distract him!”[13] It turns out to be true; Gojo mercilessly kills a thousand mutated people, but Geto’s appearance stupefies him and leads to his defeat.

* During the battle with Hanami and Jogo, Satoru deactivates his Limitless Cursed Technique, and fights the curses only using his cursed energy and physical attacks. A mere hour before Gojo is successfully sealed by an imposter wearing Geto’s body, Jogo notes that nothings seems to be able to stop Gojo (“Is there anything you don’t have?!”).

* When Geto’s body reacts to Satoru’s words adressing him, Geto’s imposter notices that it is the first time when it disobeyed him.

* When Mei Mei meets Pseudo-Geto, she wonders why he is still alive and whether he and Gojo have been conspiring and working together all this time (although, she discards that thought).

* The Jujutsu Kaisen 0 light novel mentions that the events that happened to Geto and Gojo's inability to help his only friend led Satoru to choose his path as a teacher.[14]

* In the same light novel, when Geto leaves the college after notifying everyone about The Night Parade of One Hundred Demons, Gojo watches him go and sees the "shape of his soul" (夏油の魂の形 in the original text).

Behind the Scenes

Gege – “How to put it, through making it Satoru (and) Suguru—”

Interviewer – “[You wanted] to get it to feel duo like.”

Gege – “Also meaning wise... a natural born genius and a genius through effort — well, not exactly — but I kind of wanted to have that difference in nuance.”

— Gege Akutami about choosing Suguru's name.[15]

The kesa... I may be mistaken but the kesa here is most likely called "gojou-kesa". When I was researching kesa, there were several different ones and this one was apparently called gojou-kesa, so I recall figuring "oh isn't this just right".

GEGE AKUTAMI ON GETO'S WARDROBE.[16]

I was lectured by director Park and the sound director before recording [the scenes] where Geto talks to Gojo, since the relationship between those two is special.

TAKAHIRO SAKURAI, GETO'S JAPANESE VA[17]

Lines they exchange often have a different distance from the others, and there are words that can only be understood between the two of them.

TAKAHIRO SAKURAI EXPLAINING THE PARTICULARITY OF GETO AND GOJO'S RELATIONSHIP.[18]

The last [scene with] Gojo and Geto... no, it might be better to describe it as Satoru and Suguru's back and forth banter along with their expressions. That scene lingers in my ears.

TAKAHIRO SAKURAI ON SCENES FROM THE MOVIE THAT LEFT AN IMPRESSION ON HIM.[19]

Interviewer – “Do you see any difference between Gojo from the anime series and the movie?”

Nakamura – “I could really feel a big difference between Gojo from this two hour movie and the anime that had been on air for six months. In the TV anime Gojo didn't talk about himself, so you couldn't see his human nature, but in the movie, the way he interacts with Okkotsu, and emotions he has when facing Geto help to show his own human nature.”

— Yuichi Nakamura (Gojo's Japanese VA).[20]

Interviewer – “What do you hope the audience will pay extra attention to?”

Park – “I hope people will watch it with Gojo and Geto's relationship in mind.”

— Sunghoo Park, director of Jujutsu Kaisen 0.[21]

Last scene between Gojo and Geto is the best scene. Whole team worked hard to create a better atmosphere and tempo. It brings tears to my eyes when I watch it.

SUNGHOO PARK, DIRECTOR OF JUJUTSU KAISEN 0.[22]

I think the main topic of [Jujutsu Kaisen 0] is love. Okkotsu and Rika's story is a story that's based on love. Aside from that, although it's not exactly the same love, I think there's still a kind of heart-to-heart understanding between Gojo and Geto. They were once good classmates; now their relationship has turned upside down. Okkotsu and Rika, Gojo and Geto: they're all cases where love could've helped them grow, but instead it became a curse. I think this detail is one of the special points of the movie.

SUNGHOO PARK'S THOUGHTS ON THE CORE OF JUJUTSU KAISEN 0.[23]

The pairing attracts a lot of people due to the characters’ connection they formed as young adults and the sorrows that followed. Their contrasting aesthetics, personal views, and eventually their opposing positions in the jujutsu world make them a fascinating dynamic to explore. Another thing that sparks interest in the fanbase is that despite Gojo’s omnipotence and absolute invincibility, he has one weakness, which turns out to be the memory of his dead friend.

Many fans view Gojo and Geto’s falling out as a break up or divorce, there are a lot of fan works (art and fanfiction) made surrounding the theme of ex romantic partners. One of the most popular concepts is Geto and Gojo breaking up in front of KFC, which leads to humorous fan arts like this or this and even playlists (for example). A great amount of works focuses on the time period between Geto’s turn and Volume 0, when Gojo and Geto are considered to be on the opposite sides of the law (fulfilling the trope Love Across Battlelines). Given Satoru and Suguru’s story is undoubtedly tragic, many fan works on AO3 are dedicated to studying such emotional states as heartbreak, loss, grief, e.g.

Another trope explored in fanfiction and fan arts is found family, considering Gojo became Tsumiki and Megumi’s guardian, while Geto took responsibility of raising two girls — Mimiko and Nanako (like here, here, or here). Some AUs include Suguru being mentally stable and becoming a teacher at Jujutsu High along with Satoru (and getting to know Satoru’s students). This inspires many artists to come up with different, often comical, ideas of what their day-to-day life would be like. While some prefer to reminisce on the sorcerers’ youth, others like to explore what their life could be like if Geto came back and took control of his body (like depicted in this comic or in this AO3 work). Often SatoSugu feature works dedicated to other pairings as a background couple, especially in ShokoHime fanfiction and artworks.

One of the most occuring motifs that artists tend to use in their works is a dragonfly (like here or here). Both Satoru and Suguru have connection to that insect: in one of the interviews, mangaka Gege Akutami admitted that now that Geto is dead with his body still automatically reacting to Satoru, his physical state could be compared to a dead dragonfly with its head ripped off: technically it is dead, but it keeps twitching post-mortem.[27] Some fans hope Gege was joking, and still belive in the possibility of his consciousness (or soul) coming back to him. In a flashback scene from manga, young Satoru can be seen wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata.

[28] Another thing about dragonflies that unites both Gojo and Geto is its Buddhist meaning. In Buddhissm, it represents the joining of Heaven and Earth as the dragonfly is one with the air and with the water at the same time. Famosly, Gojo quoted Buddha ("Throughout heaven and earth... I alone am the honored one") when he overcame his struggle and was symbolically reborn to join the fight against Toji. Artists mainly use the dragonfly as a symbol of the tragic turn the relationship between Satoru and Suguru took, and the unavoidable nature of fate.

There is another symbol. In the second opening VIVID VICE, Gojo can be seen walking in rain with a bouquet of white and blue flowers in his hand. Judging by the size, shape, and petal edges, these most likely are white calla lilies, gysophilia, and blue roses. White gypsophila from his bouquet, or baby-breath, is used for funeral flower arrangements and farewell ceremonies[29]; white calla lilies symbolize rejuvenation of the soul, love, and grief (often chosen for weddings and funerals).[30] Blue roses do not grow in nature, but can be hybridized or dyed; among other things, they signify unattainableness, a never-to-be-fulfilled wish, and impossible love.[31] Gojo is dressed in all black and is wearing his black shades, meaning he is on his day off, and chose to dress like that for some occasion.[32]

The fandom has taken liking to this interpretation, thus, flower bouquets comprised of blue roses often feature SatoSugu art pieces. Since blue roses are hard to produce, cosplayers (and some artists, too) tend to opt for blue hydrangea, flower that was first discovered and cultivated in Japan.

In Volume 0, Geto takes Mimiko and Nanako to a famous crêpe shop on Takeshita Street.[34] In the first light novel, months after Geto’s death, Yuji and Megumi wander somewhere in the Akihabara area (9 minutes from Takeshita Street by taxi) and see Gojo; they lose sight of him, and when they find him again, he is eating crêpes bought, judging by the package, in “a popular crêpe shop”.[35] Most popular crêperies in both areas belong to the same brand called Marion Crêpes. Fans believe that Gojo and Geto visited crepe shops when they were students, thus, in fan works they are often depicted getting crepes together, sometimes accompanied by their “children”.

The ship’s popularity reached the cosplayers, too. For example, in 2021, married couple from China with almost 7,5 million followers combined on Chinese social platform Weibo cosplayed the characters during CP28, Chinese Comic Con held in Shanghai. As seen in the video the couple posted, they were extremely popular, as the crowd of fans kept following them wherever they went.

this is a special repost to my past satosugu analysis

posted last 07.25.22 by @seouci only on tumblr.