#You made a certified banger

[resident-idiot-simp]

Shout out to Jshit for making a Christmas album out of spite for ai covers I love you shit man

But seriously phenomenal job this whole album is amazing I will be listening to it all December.

[nat-amations]

favorite teeth song??

Girls like you, between her thighs, and teeth gotta be my top 3🙏🙏🙏

[oblivions-dawn]

Every now and then I remember that I slapped 'Vigdis Apologist' on my blog and it always gives me a good chuckle

[colorlessjay]

hello! may be a weird request but do you have any fanfic recommendations?

BUCKLE THE FUCK UP

OH DO I HAVE SOME RECS FOR YA'LL

Mind you, 90% are based on personal preference and fics I think about way too often than I should. A lot of them influenced the way I make characters interact

Some of them might not be your taste and that's cool!

First off, Gotta promote the fics that people wrote inspired by my art (I am truly honored)

Time Cast A Spell On You by bethefirstwhoeverdid

Cabin of Feathers by Featherpie (Izupie)

Return To The Past by faeryn

NOW FOR MY COLLECTION

Just any fic written by everandanon

I swear to you, all of their fics are worth a read. They are frustrating (In a good way for me) but the worldbuilding, comedy, dialogue, and character interactions always have me physically getting up and laughing. At one point during Quarentantion, I had to stop reading to rant to my friends about it because it made me feel so much that I went to 3 different friends about it. With Interest actually made my heart physically hurt at certain points. Expectations had me on a roller coaster ride But if you think their fics are a little overwhelming, I recommend reading Casicorn. It's the first ever fic I read from them and it solidified my love for this author. I swear I am on my hands and KNEES waiting for them to finish their newest fic

Where All My Journeys End - (a Twist and Shout alt universe) by Say_It_In_Enochian

Did reading Twist and Shout devastate you? Did it emotionally hurt your heart and make you wish there was something to make the pain lighter? READ THIS FUCKING FIC NOW I got so fucking lucky when I found it immediately after reading T&S and when I tell you the JOURNEY this fic took me? It healed my soul The struggles, the history, the relationships, the LONG fight to get to their happy ending I am FLOORED this doesn't have 1000 Kudos!

The Ed Sheeran Effect by tricia_16

It made me laugh. That's it. It's sweet and funny and really fun and just feels very campy, like it could've been a decent movie I would rewatch on days I just feel like feeling good Am I a sucker for HighSchool/College AU fics? Yes do I fucking care? No

The Best Years of Our Lives, My Ass by ireallyhatecornnuts (CharleyFoxtrot)

I. fucking. love. this. fic The story alone was so interesting but it was the DIALOGUE that hooked me in. I swear I think about this fic in the middle of drawing and go "Damn, good times" like it's a long lost friend

Slide Away by Castielslostwings

It's the TENSION that got me. I can't explain to you how much I just love their hate-pining for each other Read it, love it, in my digital bookshelf

Sleep Without You by turningthepages

Hilarious. The density is so high it could float. I swear to god I've read this fic at least three times and think about it once a week I remember reading it and cackling so much that I woke up my mom

Should've Just Asked by Annie D (scaramouche)

I wish this fic had a follow-up that was just Dean's perspective because I would LOVE to read more of it. The situation is so absurd and I binged it all in one day (I'm a very slow reader)

Pinfall by crowleyo

I'm gonna say it. I'm so actually angry this fic doesn't get enough attention. It is so so SO well-written and heart-wrenching. Am I still a sucker for highschool sweethearts? YES! I OPENLY ADMIT THIS! But COME ON

Of fuming and partaking and so on by zation

This fic and literally any fic from Zation. I absolutely love the way this author writes. It's so funny and self-aware and the dialogue and scenarios always keep me entertained and laughing They have such a large catalog of fics that I'm pretty sure I have at least 15 saved on my phone

Mr. Blue Sky by anyrei, queerwolf79

This fic specifically and literally ANYTHING from these two. I swear, a lot of their fics are certified bangers. Mr. Blue Sky is probably a personal favorite of mine cause I actually teared up

Love Me More by Saiorse_Irvyne

I'm not the biggest fan of A/B/O stuff, but MAN this has me feeling things. When a fic makes me feel strong emotions, I just gotta recommend it

Lock and Key by tricia_16

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it's THAT good

Kind Of A Forever Deal by komodobits

It's FUN. It's FUNNY. It's so fucking campy and cute and the progression of their relationship was just AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It's Always the End of the World Somewhere by Annie D (scaramouche)

I can sit here and recommend Annie D's fics all DAY, but I'm recommending this one specifically because of this: “Get a room, assholes,” someone mutters. “Hey!” Crowley whirls on the offender. “I could set on you on fire!” And that's one of many fantastic quotes

Cinderwings by bendingsignpost

One of the first fics I've ever read from this fandom, and I recommend it to ANYONE regardless of whether they know Destiel or not. The story is so fucking captivating it makes me want to eat my foot it's so GOOD

--------------

Do I have a type when it comes to fanfics? Yes

But I like gravitating towards funny dialogue and silly shenanigans. I thrive off of fun fics that sometimes take themselves seriously, but still pull me back and make me laugh

If a fic can make me feel such a strong emotion that I PHYSICALLY have to get up? Then fuck yeah it's going in my archives

I would recommend some of the darker fics I have, but this is for fun

[shuxiii]

yn: stay home— pham hanni

hanni pham x reader! established relationship

synopsis: yn had been wanting to go out for the night after a week of stressful office work so she decided to attend a friends party but it seemed like someone was begrudgingly opposed to that idea so hanni decided to make matters to her own hands to sabotage that.

The apartment was buzzing with the faint hum of weekend energy—the muted bassline of distant music, muffled voices echoing from the street below. yn stood in front of the mirror, turning this way and that, appraising her outfit with the critical eye of someone who hadn’t been to a proper party in ages. A fitted black top and her favourite pair of jeans—it wasn’t revolutionary, but it was reliable.

“You��re really going out,” Hanni’s voice cut through the room, flat and unimpressed.

yn glanced over her shoulder to find Hanni sprawled across their shared bed, her face half-buried in the pillow, dark hair sticking out in every possible direction. She looked utterly at home, her oversized hoodie swallowing her frame, and her legs tucked up like she had no intention of moving for the rest of her life.

“Yes, I’m going out,” yn replied, turning back to the mirror to adjust the collar of her top. “It’s just a party, Han. I won’t be gone long.”

Hanni made a sound—a cross between a groan and a sigh—that was so dramatic it would have put a soap opera actress to shame. “You’re abandoning me.”

“Don’t be a baby,” yn said, rolling her eyes but unable to suppress a smile. “You’ll survive a few hours without me.”

“No, I won’t,” Hanni shot back, her voice muffled by the pillow. Then, suddenly, she sat up, her dark eyes narrowing like a cat spotting its prey. “In fact, I don’t think you’ll survive without me.”

yn didn’t even have time to react before Hanni launched herself off the bed with a speed and precision that could only be described as terrifyingly athletic.

“Wait—Hanni, no—”

But it was too late. Hanni tackled her mid-sentence, her arms wrapping around yn’s waist as they both toppled backward onto the bed. The impact sent the neatly folded pile of clothes on the edge of the mattress tumbling to the floor.

“Hanni!” yn protested, her voice high-pitched with a mix of laughter and exasperation.

“You’re not going!” Hanni declared, pinning yn beneath her with the determination of someone who’d just decided to stage a sit-in. “I forbid it.”

“Oh, you forbid it?” yn shot back, arching an eyebrow as she tried—and failed—to wiggle free. “And what exactly gives you the authority to forbid anything?”

Hanni grinned down at her, unrepentant. “I’m your girlfriend, duh. That’s, like, my whole job.”

“Your job is to support me, not tackle me like a linebacker.”

Hanni gasped, feigning offense. “I am supporting you! I’m supporting you by saving you from a terrible decision. Parties are overrated. They’re loud, sweaty, and full of people who think ‘vibes’ is a personality trait.”

“I don’t care about the vibes,” yn countered, still squirming beneath her. “I just want to dance and have fun for a couple of hours!”

“We can dance here,” Hanni said, as if it were the most obvious solution in the world.

“Oh, yeah? Are you going to DJ for me?”

Hanni smirked. “I might. I’ve got a killer playlist called ‘Certified Bangers to Stay Home To.’”

“Of course you do,” yn muttered, her voice dripping with mock disdain.

“Hanni, come on,” yn groaned, trying—and failing—to pry her off. “I told people I’d be there!”

“They’ll survive without you,” Hanni mumbled, tightening her grip. “I, however, will not.”

“I’m simply saving you from an utterly terrible decision of your life, baby,” Hanni confidently declared, no thought of letting go.

“This isn’t a decision!” yn huffed, squirming. “This is a hostage situation!”

Hanni smirked. “Call it what you want, but you’re not going anywhere.”

yn let out a long sigh, staring up at the ceiling. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And yet, you love me,” Hanni replied, leaning down just enough to press a quick, teasing kiss to yn’s nose.

yn stopped struggling for a moment, realizing the futility of her situation. Instead, she tried a different tactic. She sighed dramatically, slumping back against the bed. “Fine. You win. I’ll stay home.”

Hanni froze, pulling back just enough to peer at yn suspiciously. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” yn replied, her tone just a little too agreeable. “You’ve convinced me. Let’s order pizza or something.”

Hanni’s face lit up, her grin smug as she released yn from her grip. “That’s right. No party for you. We’re having a cozy night in.” She rolled off yn, flopping back onto the bed with an air of triumphant satisfaction.

But yn wasn’t giving up so easily.

As Hanni turned to grab her phone, presumably to start browsing for takeout, yn slid off the bed as quietly as possible. Her boots barely made a sound as she crept toward the door.

“Hanni doesn’t need to know,” she whispered under her breath.

She was almost there—her hand brushing the doorknob—when a voice rang out behind her.

“yn.”

She froze. Slowly, she turned to find Hanni sitting up on the bed, her arms crossed and her expression caught somewhere between a pout and a glare.

“You lied to me!” Hanni accused, pointing dramatically.

“Hanni, I—”

“Don’t even try it,” Hanni interrupted, sliding off the bed with a speed that was honestly a little terrifying. Before yn could react, Hanni had crossed the room and wrapped herself around yn like an octopus, her head resting firmly on yn’s shoulder. “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Let me go!” yn protested, laughing despite herself.

“Nope!” Hanni said, her voice muffled against yn’s neck. “You lied to me. Now you have to stay. Permanently.”

“Hanni, this is absurd!”

“So is leaving me for a party,” Hanni shot back, tightening her grip.

yn huffed but didn’t argue. Instead, she let herself relax into Hanni’s hold, realizing she wasn’t getting out of this any time soon. Every time she so much as shifted, Hanni’s grip tightened like a vice. Escape was futile.

Eventually, yn gave up entirely, letting her head fall against Hanni’s shoulder. “You win. I’m staying.”

“Good,” Hanni happily said, kissing you on the cheek, grabbing the nearest blanket and draping it over them both. “Now, pizza or ramen?”

“I hate you,” yn muttered, though her tone was light.

“No, you don’t,” Hanni replied, nuzzling her cheek against yn’s. “You love me. And now you’re stuck with me all night.”

And she was. No party, no dancing, just Hanni holding her hostage on the bed for the rest of the evening. By the time the pizza arrived, yn had to admit—staying home wasn’t the worst thing in the world. But she wasn’t about to let Hanni know that.

[halfwayunder]

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬

Summary: A match with Brighton is interrupted by a pitch invader.

Pairing: Arsenal Women x Arsenal!Reader

Warning: Assault | Avoidance | Anxiety | Some Angst

Word Count: 4.6k

Meadow Park, Borehamwood

///

"Y/L/N!" Katie yells from across the pitch and you waste little time in punting the ball over the heads of half a dozen players to her, leading to certified banger of a goal in the seconds that follow and making the score 2-0 in the 61st minute after Caitlin's screamer near the end of the first half. You sprint over to the Irishwoman and launch yourself onto her back, cheering ecstatically as the pair of you are swarmed by the rest of your team.

.....

You had been with the club for over a year now, one of several promising names signed to the Gunners in the summer of 2022, and while you hadn't yet been with the team long enough to cement your place in it as one of its icons, you hadn't needed a lot of time to make plenty of friends among its roster.

Prior to joining Arsenal, you had been Everton's star girl, having played with the Liverpudlian side for over four years before moving to North London in a change that had caused almost as much upset among the Blues fans as it had excitement in the Gooners. It had been a tough decision, but both you and your manager had known that you needed more room to develop your talent and that such room could only be found at a team that regularly fought at the top of the league.

Besides, it had been a far better choice than the alternative of moving to Liverpool. (You still couldn't believe they had been bold enough to even offer.)

Initially, you'd been worried by the prospect of moving both city and club, leaving behind the team you'd grown so close to and entering a new, unknown environment filled with some pretty impressive (and subsequently intimidating) talents. Generally, you were a very confident person and not someone who tended to doubt yourself, but even then, the idea of playing alongside the likes of Miedema and Williamson with reputations known far and wide was a little daunting for a player with a relatively lowkey profile.

But, despite that you had more than proven yourself in your first full season with the club, serving as a reliable forward and netting yourself a handful of goals in the process, even if you weren't a regular in the starting eleven. (You tried not to take it personally given that it was your first season, though your competitive streak made the task a little difficult at times.)

The girls had accepted you with open arms as one of their own, and any reservations you'd had about switching to Arsenal had all but vanished by the time international break had started and you'd gone off the World Cup down under. The teammates on either side of you today were more than just co-workers, they were your friends, and sometimes they even felt like family.

.....

"Alright, you've all done a very good job this half." Jonas starts approvingly as you and the rest of the girls gather round for a brief strategy talk, with Cloé sitting on the pitch not too far away being looked over by the medics. There (probably) isn't anything wrong with her, but it's a good excuse to get a quick chat with the coach in before the game continues. It's the 75th minute and Brighton has been putting on the pressure, propelled forward by an influx of their benched players and possibly some added desperation after Katie's goal.

"Jen, Kyra, Kat, we cannot get complacent now, we need to reassert control over the midfield and lessen the pressure on our defence. Remember, their number 10 loves to make those late runs, so mark her tightly." Your coach continues, his attention turned to the midfielders as he makes quick work of the review while Cloé gets back up to some applause from the crowd and limps towards you and the others, heading for the nearby bench with the team physio and a pair of medics by her side. Already, Lina is taking her jacket off to sub in just behind you.

The chat concludes and the game continues, having only been paused for around a minute and a half as you share a glance with some of the other girls while you all run back onto the pitch with haste. You aren't normally the type to feel as if the result has been decided before the final whistle blows, but you feel confident that you'll be walking away with a win tonight, content with another strong performance.

If only.

It's the 83rd minute when it happens, 8 minutes after your group chat and 7 until the match's conclusion. You're not doing anything when the first signs of a problem arise in the form of distant gasps and disapproving yells from the crowd, you're just standing there with your hands idly on your hips, walking slowly along the pitch and keeping track of the ball as it's passed around in the midfield, a sizable distance from where you are.

You aren't paying attention to what's behind you.

"Y/L/N!" You hear Katie yell again from some ways away, but this time there's something different in her tone that alerts you, there's an urgency in it that's uncharacteristic, one that makes you think something's wrong, and it doesn't take you long to find out what it is.

"Stupid cow!" Is what you hear slurred from behind you before a searing pain suddenly springs forth from the side of your head, the impact of something hard sending you stumbling to the side before you quickly lose your footing and tumble to the ground, the left half of your face hitting the grass with such momentum that it briefly bounces back up before dropping down again.

Your vision blurs for a second or two as you instinctively reach for the sides of your head to cradle it protectively, your legs lifting up until you're just short of a fetal position. You quickly understand that you've been hit by someone and brace for a second attack, one that fortunately doesn't come as you hear sounds of a scuffle nearby.

Your right temple pulses with hurt and you can't help but scrunch your face up, closing and opening your eyes in a rabid blink to try and adjust your sight and shake off the disorientation that has you locked in its grip. For a few moments you lose track of time, wrapped up in your own world of pain before you see someone kneel down in front of you and feel their hands cup over your cheeks, turning your head up to face them.

It's Beth.

"Jesus Christ, you alright?" She asks intensely, her face shaped by a mix of exasperation and concern as you feel someone else's hands slot under your armpits and sit you up, you feel a minor sense of relief at the fact you don't immediately become nauseous at the movement, and the world starts to filter back to high resolution as your disorientation dissipates.

"Yeah.. yeah, I'm alright." You finally find the strength to speak, frowning as you continue to rub at your right temple and look around, trying to get a grip on your surroundings. Your head still hurt, but not quite as bad now and you're sitting up, surrounded on all sides by a wall of red and white football kits, all belonging to women who's gazes were entirely focused on you and who all looked either worried sick, pissed off or both.

Behind them, you could only just see another gathering of bodies that was leaving the pitch. A sea of high-vis jackets, some emblazoned on their backs with 'Security' and others 'Police'.

"Fucking maniac." You hear one of the girls around you say, "How'd they let that happen?" Someone else asks to no one in particular, "Stupid dickhead, should throw him in the sea." A third voice suggests angrily and the accent leaves little room for candidates who's surname isn't McCabe.

You feel some of the girls pat you on the shoulder or rub your back, and Beth takes one of your hands in her own, hands disappearing from your face so they can help you stand up before the wall of Arsenal red parts to let in the team physio and doctor who quickly disapprove of the idea and sit you back down before you've even had the chance to get your bum off the grass.

A light is flashed in each of your eyes, causing you to wince, and you're bombarded with a series of questions that lead you to assume the pair are checking for a concussion. But- after what feels like forever, with the hairs on your skin standing up as you become increasingly aware of what a cold night it is now that the warmth from your exertion during the game has worn off- the two medical professionals get up from their crouched position and carefully help you stand up too.

The crowd cheers for the development and you let out a breath, shaking your head with a small, cynical smile as you were met with looks of sympathy from your teammates. The side of your head still hurt, but it had diminished to the point that you could probably ignore it, though it was still far from comfortable.

"Had to happen to me, eh?" You say to Beth, who can't help but let out a short breathy laugh.

"Maybe he's an Everton fan." Jen proposes and you laugh with a nod. "Left it a bit long, didn't he?" Steph replies with a feigned confusion.

You walk to the bench with the physio, doctor and Beth, with the rest of the team giving you a few more supportive words and pats on the back before heading back to their places on the pitch. It wasn't as if they were going to cancel the game over one rowdy wanker, after all, besides there was less than ten minutes left.

"Are you okay?" Jonas asks as you approach the Arsenal bench and you nod, being brought in for a quick hug before he adds, "That was totally unacceptable. We'll need to address it with the club. Get more security." He sounds angry, and not just with your assailant. You hadn't really had the time to process what had happened given how fast it had all been, but as you sit down at the team bench, receiving another warm reception from the girls there, the ones who'd been playing in the first half, you begin to get where he's coming from. How could that be allowed to happen? What if the guy had a weapon? What if-

"My girl." Your thoughts on what could have happened are interrupted by an unmistakable voice, Leah. Putting that Southern pronunciation on the word 'girl' that you loved so much, but sounding just as worried as everyone else who'd spoken to you did. The blonde wastes little time in leaning down to envelop you in a hug from where you sit, and you return it with a smile, letting out a breath you hadn't known you'd been holding in, and it coming out shaky much to your confusion. You felt fine.

"Good thing you weren't on the pitch, otherwise that prick probably wouldn't have left it." You joke with a small smile as the two of you pull apart and Amanda to your left budges up so Leah can sit down next to you, her brows furrowed in that steep arching frown she liked to do. The match in front of you continues as it had before. Alessia sits on your right, trying to be considerate by not unnecessarily intruding but occasionally giving you a side glance with a smile.

"Honestly, if they hadn't gotten to him first. Fucking wanker." Her blue eyes dart to the side, momentarily looking out to the pitch before returning to you. She reaches out an arm and wraps it over your shoulder, pulling you close, you have no objection, and you can't resist the amused huff of air you let out at the thought of what Leah might have done if she had been there and had two properly working legs.

A small comfortable silence settles between you both until the defender asks, "You alright?" and you nod almost on instinct, giving her a smile. "Yeah. Head hurts a little, but I did just get punched." You joke, but Leah doesn't laugh, or even smile, instead penetrating you with those deep blue eyes. "I know that, dummy, they wouldn't sit you on the bench if you were hurt like that. I meant the other kind of alright."

You shrug and for the first time since you'd seen her, your eyes drift off to the pitch and you shift in your seat. Yeah, you were fine. But, the idea that you might not be didn't sit right with you, or rather, the idea that Leah and by extension the rest of the team might not think you are.

"You mean if I'm all... shaken up? Quaking in my boots?" You retort with some dry wit and a slight smirk, putting some faux dramatism on your words as you glance back to Leah for a moment before returning your eyes to the game. You felt fine, but the question seemed to stir something in you, applying a light pressure to your chest that wasn't there before. You didn't like it.

Leah didn't seem amused and you feel her stare boring into the side of your face, inspecting you almost. "Yeah." Is her short reply, as if she isn't looking to entertain your attempts at humour. As if she takes the incident more seriously than you do.

You shrug again and look over to the blonde with an expression that borders between nonchalance and indifference. "Then yeah, I'm all good in that department too. If fucking Jack Grealish can handle a punch then I think I'll be fine." That one seems to have some effect on Leah's stern, concerned demeanour and she gives a small smile, shaking her head slightly as if reprimanding herself for not knowing better to expect any other kind of answer from you.

But she tightens her arm around you just a bit regardless, pulling you in just a little more than you already were, even as she turns away to face the pitch as the game approaches the final whistle, her eyes lingering on you a little longer. "Alright.. but if that changes, you know I'm here, right?" She asks with a sincerity that makes you a little uncomfortable, partly because you'd always been a little awkward around more heartfelt exchanges of emotions, and partly because.. well you couldn't really figure out that other feeling, but it adds to that small pressure on your chest.

"Yeah, I know." You get out with a firmness, more to reassure the defender that you'd be willing to open up in that sense than anything else. You weren't sure if you ever would, even if your feelings did change. But, you were.. confident that they wouldn't. You felt fine, after all.

The final whistle blows not long after.

.....

The hum of fluorescent lights fill Meadow Park's comparatively humble locker room as the team trickles in, sweaty and exhausted from a relatively hard fought win. There's the usual post-match banter, the teasing, the recounting of the odd tackle and the two winning goals. But there's also a.. tension in the air, an undercurrent of concern and empathy directed toward one player in particular and unfortunately you're all too aware of it.

You take your usual spot by your locker, trying to blend in with the post-game routine as seamlessly as you can. You begin to unlace your boots, your fingers working with a rehearsed, mechanical precision. You didn't like it when people fussed over you, and you always tended to think that their attention was better spent or even better deserved elsewhere. You didn't really like being the centre of attention either, positive or negative. So, sitting here, and knowing that every now and then a different set of eyes would glance over at you, or that every second conversation featured you in some capacity, it wasn't a fun feeling, even if all of it derived from the most kind intentions.

You slip your cleats off and lean back against your locker as you sit in your cubby, looking up at the ceiling and releasing your second shaky breath of the night against your will. That pressure on your chest hasn't gone away and it's beginning to annoy you as you close your eyes and try to relax yourself, feeling oddly tense.

Between the chaos of the initial aftermath, your conversation with Leah and some of the banter you'd tried to get yourself involved with during the short walk to the locker room after their celebration, you hadn't really had the time (or the desire) to really think back to the incident or process it. It'd happened what? Thirty minutes ago? Yet, it already felt significantly longer.

Your hand reaches up absentmindedly to rub at your right temple as images flash one after the other of the experience. You on the ground, Beth kneeling in front of you and those two words that you hadn't even recalled until now. "Stupid cow." You scratch at your temple for a moment and open your eyes, shaking your head for a second or two as if to ward off the memory.

You let out another breath, and while this one isn't quite shaky, your breathing has gotten a little heavier.

Your hands clasp together and your fingers interlock as you idly rub your thumbs up and down the hand opposite to the one they each belong to. That pressure on your chest makes itself known a bit more and you swallow, your eyes surveying the locker room, not quite knowing what you're searching for but compelled to do it all the same. Why would someone do that? Why would a person just run out onto the pitch and hit a player? Hit you?

"Relax." You tell yourself.

It doesn't do much, and you have to put a hand down onto your knee to stop one of your legs from tapping itself up and down. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" You internally ask yourself. You felt fine. You had felt fine five minutes ago. You had felt fine after being punched in the side of the head. Why are you feeling like this now?

You shift in your cubby and take a deep breath (another shaky one, much to your frustration), trying to regain control of yourself. That fucking weight on your chest is still there.

"Y/N." You hear someone- Katie- say nearby, and you curse to yourself. "Yeah?" You ask with a slightly raised brow, trying to remain lowkey as you look to your left to see the forward standing not too far away next to her own cubby, shoving her boots into a large black duffel bag as she stares at you, most of the other girls are still in their own conversations. Thank God.

"You good?" She asks the question that you've become almost annoyingly familiar with in the past half hour and like before you nod impulsively. Though unlike then you're no longer quite so confident in the honesty of that natural response. "Yeah, all good. Why? Am I getting a bruise?" You say in an attempt to be light hearted, giving the brunette a small smile, but she only frowns back, causing you to swallow.

"Nah, just seemed like you were.. thinking 'bout something."

You break your stare and go back to what you're supposed to be doing, getting changed, leaving Katie unsatisfied as you find your own duffel bag next to you and begin putting your cleats into it. You begin to feel a slight burning at the bottom of your throat but try to ignore it, feeling the corners of your lips reactively curl downward even as you busy yourself with getting changed.

"Fucking idiot." You angrily say to yourself on the inside. "Stop being such a baby." You take off your Arsenal shirt and shove it into the bag with an unusual amount of force. That pressure on your chest grows heavier and your breathes with it. You aren't sure why you feel this way and you hate it. You've never felt like this before and you hate it. Why is this happening? You were fine before.

"Y/N." Your name is called again, only this time it's Leah, and she's standing right behind you, causing you to jump just slightly. Your heart beating a little quicker as you'd been facing your locker, back turned to the rest of the team. Katie must have gotten her.

You take your third shaky breath of the evening before responding with a falsely inquisitive, "Yeah?" as if you hadn't a clue what she'd want to talk to you about. You continue to face your locker, opening it up to take out your casualwear to give yourself a valid reason not to turn around.

"You wanna come with me? Need to talk." She says with a nonchalance that is deceptive. Ordinarily, if Leah needed to talk with someone, she wouldn't hesitate in using her regular old sternness to get the importance across. But, right now? Her tone was light and casual and you weren't an idiot. You know that she was treating this like some kind of sensitive situation when it wasn't. You'd gotten punched by some dickhead and that was it, end of story. It probably happened to a thousand people every day in Britain and you were no different.

"Yeah.. just lemme get dressed first." You reply, sliding on your trousers and feigning your own coolness and composure, though not nearly to the same effectiveness as Leah. Your breathing's still heavy and with each passing moment you begin to feel a growing sense of claustrophobia when you'd never suffered from that in the past. You want air. Maybe you need it. But, you can't let that show.

"Mind turning round, Y/N? It's bad manners not to look at someone when they're talking to you."

You won't let it show.

"Look, Leah. If this is about that dickhead again, I told you I'm all good." You retort dismissively, wanting to put the questioning to bed.

That pressure grows heavier.

"Well, I don't think you are."

Your heart beats faster.

"Oh, and what? You're in my head now are you?" Your frustration peaks through the façade.

Why are they still asking you about it?

"No. I just know when my friends aren't okay." Leah's concerned tone fades and she takes on a sterner one, a tough love one.

Why aren't you fine?

"Well you might want to get your radar checked because I'm fucking fine, Leah." Your brows furrow and you almost grit your teeth as that burning sensation creeps further up your throat. You shouldn't have sworn.

The rest of the locker room is becoming quieter.

"Then why won't you look at me?"

Everyone's looking at you.

"Because you're fucking bothering me!" You yell angrily. And if there had been any conversations left in the room, they cease instantly, cloaking the team in a deafening silence.

You swallow and it almost hurts your throat. You blink and your eyes have a wetness in them that wasn't there ten seconds ago. Your chest lifts and falls dramatically and your hands have a light tremor in them.

But, you were fine ten minutes ago.

You feel a pair of hands take you gently by your waist and you presume them to be Leah's, having that presumption confirmed quickly as the defender turns you around slowly to face her. You don't resist, but you feel almost ashamed as you're rotated to face the rest her and the rest of the girls. You can't even look any of them in the eye, with your eyes dropping to the ground and becoming fixated on your feet because it's easier than looking at anything else.

"You're okay, my girl. You're safe." Leah says, her sternness morphing seamlessly into an almost painfully sincere softness and care as you're pulled in slowly for another hug, though your arms hang almost limply by your sides. You don't know what to do, or what to say, but you feel a stinging in your eyes and a pain in your throat that's becoming more pronounced by the second.

You bury your head into Leah's shoulder because you know you're about to cry, and you feel a surge of intense shame at the realization. Your arms reach up and finally wrap themselves around Leah. You know the rest of the girls are watching you, and it's embarrassing, but you don't know what else to do. You don't feel safe.

"I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me." You finally let out into the blonde's shoulder, feeling the first tears roll down your cheeks. "I was okay and then.. this shit just came out of nowhere. I'm sorry."

Leah pulls away from you, but only slightly, one of her hands lifting your chin to level with her as she looks you dead in the eye, while her other hand reaches up to stroke your cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry about, understand? Nothing. No one thinks any less of you for this, Y/N."

You aren't entirely sure if that's true or not, but Leah, being the natural leader that she is, had a way of making people believe things or feel them even if they otherwise wouldn't. And you're not immune to that effect, nodding somewhat hesitantly in agreement, but nodding regardless as you feel that pressure on your chest lighten ever so slightly.

"The pitch should be a safe place for us and that dickhead tried to take it away." You hear Beth speak up, both to you but also to the rest of the room, with nods and murmurs of concurrence following throughout. Concern and heartbreak can easily turn to anger and a need for justice, and even in your frustratingly vulnerable state, you can see that change begin to take place in the confines of the locker room as the scene between you and Leah made it perfectly clear to everyone that you had been effected by that attack on more than just a physical level.

"Everyone's here for you, alright? Nothing like that is ever gonna happen again. Not to you, or anyone else in this game." Leah says, that steeply arched frown returning to her expression as a hint of determination reaches through her words.

She wipes away some of the tears that hadn't quite made their way down your cheeks and pulls you back into the hug, running her hand in circles along your back. "We're gonna make sure he regrets ever coming to this game." The Vice-Captain whispers into your ear with an intensity that almost makes you shiver, and in that moment, you find a piece of your confidence back.

You were confident that the girls had your back. You were confident that Leah would do whatever it took to get justice, and you were confident that one day that wanker would indeed regret ever even coming near you. But, most importantly, you were confident that you wouldn't allow him damage you, that you wouldn't allow him to have anymore significance in your life than a fucking footnote. Regardless of whatever happened next, revenge or not, justice or not. You were simply more valuable than that, and the girls would always help to remind you of that, even if sometimes it was hard to see.

Sometimes, your team felt like more than just a team, and tonight was one of those times.

///

End Notes: Hey, everyone! So this has been my first ever woso fic. I'm still trying to get to grips with pacing and getting some proper good angst, but I hope this is an enjoyable read and a good start!

[kualticrypt]

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[taste-in-music]

my top 10 songs of 2024

picks 11-30 beneath the cut

30. Divine by Saleka, Kid Cudi: Before watching Trap by M. Night Shyamalan, I knew it was part thriller about catching a serial killer, part vehicle to launch his daughter Saleka’s singing career. After watching it, I was a certified stan of father and daughter alike, because I don’t care about the nepo baby allegations when the music is this fucking good. (I also had a blast with the movie. Must a film “make sense?” Is it not enough to watch Josh Hartnett go berserk at the in-universe equivalent of the Eras Tour?) While Saleka created an entire album of bangers for her fictional pop star Lady Raven, “Divine” has to be my pick off the track list, a silky-smooth R&B crooner with an energetic thrum to make it appropriate for both chilling out and throwing back. Saleka isn’t the first to compare a love affair to a divine calling, but she does a great job of actually capturing the intrigue and transcendence evoked by the metaphor, and she also has great chemistry with Kid Cudi. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a sequel to Trap, partly because I'm always down to watch Josh Hartnett go berserk, but mostly because that means we'd probably get another album from our corvid queen.

29. Scorsese Baby Daddy by SZA: SZA comes in right under the wire once again with a release in December, making my job a lot harder, because if SZA drops new music, how could I not include it on my year-end list? It’s hard to say which track of her SOS deluxe album LANA is going to stick in the zeitgeist, but my immediate pick is “Scorsese Baby Daddy,” which was so immediately addictive that I listened to it 20 times in a row when it first dropped. SZA treads familiar lyrical ground on the song, grappling with insecurity, unapologetically pursuing amazing sex, and spiraling into emotional attachments. “Addicted to the drama,” she sings in tandem with the song’s title, batting away the self-chastisement with the heady rush of a new love, “doing the most” and hoping it isn’t too much for her lover to take. Much like my list pick off SOS, “F2F,” I love how “Scorsese Baby Daddy pivots SZA’s sound towards a loping rock palette, a swaggering drum kick fleshed out with guitars and more affirmed vocal delivery. Sonics aside, it’s SZA’s conviction and blunt honesty that makes the track one of the best of the year, even if it arrived the latest.

28. Tough Love by Gracie Abrams: This song could’ve been a ten second voice note of Gracie Abrams saying “No chance I’ll waste by twenties on random men / Not one of them is smarter than all my friends” and it still would’ve made this list. Abrams’s Swiftian mode of detail-laden songwriting doesn’t always cohere for me, but on “Tough Love,” they map out a chilly post-breakup night in Boston. Killing time on a bench by the river. A ripped jacket. Her ex kicking her in bed while sleeping. Aaron Dessner’s production captures the melancholic expanse of these experiences: atmospheric drones with a hint of warmth, the gentlest swell of strings. It allows Abrams’s storytelling to shine, celebrating female friendship and the newfound independence of young adulthood, reveling in its thorny edges and small joys. “Tough Love” is the gentle smack upside the head, the reminder that no matter what useless boys might throw your way, you never have to take it on alone.

27. It's No Fun by Grace Enger: Enough about romanticizing my life and daydreaming about unrequited crushes! Only Grace Enger is brave enough to tell it like it is about wanting someone who will never want you back: it's no fun. Like her previous best track “The Neighborhood,” Enger ups the ante behind her singer-songwriter schtick on "It's No Fun." Her acoustics get a little crunchy and electric, her voice rises to a frustrated belt, the drums clammer in like a pounding heartbeat. “In my eyes, you’re the sun,” she sings, “Think you liked the way I spun and spun and spun around you.” The only way to keep yourself from getting sucked back into the toxic cycle is severing the ties, and Enger dramatizes this in one of the most cathartic bridges this year, describing the fury at having to take the high ground, break off the friendships, and pursue reconciliation all on her own. Just because the love isn’t mutual doesn’t mean that your heart won’t break, and I’m grateful for songwriters like Enger that transform these feelings into songs I can scream along to to get to the other side of it.

26. DENIAL IS A RIVER by Doechii: I was embarrassingly late to the Doechii train. While I had heard praise for her latest record Alligator Bites Never Heal throughout the year, it took watching her electric turn at NPR’s Tiny Desk to finally get off my ass and check out her music. The song that lit the fire was “DENIAL IS A RIVER,” a dialogue between Doechii and an alternate persona dramatized as a rapped conversation about her life until now and her current mental state. It doesn't just offer bouncy flows, memorable punchlines, and sparkling chemistry, but a great place to start if you’re also just now catching up with the Doechii phenomenon. Her free-flowing narration is basically a "previously on..." segment, covering catching up with an ex’s side piece over Zoom, being thrust into the spotlight in the wake of viral success, and coping with the stress through less-than-sustainable means, culminating in a breathing exercise where Doechii dramatically dry-heaves into the mic. Doechii’s raw wit and charisma as a performer is impossible to deny, and I won't make the mistake of being behind on her releases ever again.

25. Truth Or Dare by Tyla: One of the most exciting rising figures of pop music in 2024 was South African amapiano star Tyla, who broke through onto the Billboard charts last year with the splashy jam “Water.” The self-titled debut album came in 2024, and with it a cavalcade of sexy, sumptuous music perfectly crafted for glitzy nights on the town. “Truth or Dare” first popped out to be when I saw Tyla’s set at Lollapalooza, where she delivered its silky beat and hooky melody while dancing atop a giant tiger in a marble printed bodysuit with a team of backup dancers. On the song, she cuts into an addressee that dismissed her in the past but is suddenly all up over her now that she’s successful. “Dare you to forget / That you used to treat me just like anyone,” she reminds them with a voice like sugar viper venom, “Is it true you care? / Now that you see the love from everyone.” It’s that touch of spikiness within the sensuality that lends the song its magnetism, a raised brow daring you to keep coming back for more.

24. Right Back To It by Waxahatchee, MJ Lenderman: “Right Back To It” was easy pick for one of the best songs of 2024 the day it came out. Mind you, that day was January 9th. Nearly an entire year later, that first impression hasn’t faded in the slightest. With her quiet confidence and knack for serene folk compositions, I’m convinced Katie Crutchfield could write poignant yet down-to-earth crooners about complicated relationships and the passage of time in her sleep. But “Right Back To It” is no snoozefest, it's vivid and homey, all tangy banjo and canoodling guitar with a steady foundation of bass to anchor it into the earth. Crutchfield’s vocals are a warm hug, her signature rasp melding perfectly against MJ Lenderman’s subtle harmonizing. But what makes the song particularly special is how it articulates what it's like to have someone with whom, no matter how much time as passed or how many conflicts arise, you can return to with certainty and stability. “You just settle in like a song with no end,” Crutchfield says, knowing it's something to hold close to her chest: “if I can keep up, we’ll get right back to it.”

23. Check by FLO: British trio FLO are on a quest to bring the sultry sass of 2000s girl groups into the 2020s, bursting onto the scene with the cheeky confidence of divas that have already been slaying the scene for years. Jorja Douglas, Stella Quaresma, and Renée Downer wield their supple triad harmonies into sticky hooks that rival the best songs of the era they pull from. Is this song catchy? Check. Are the harmonies on point? Check. Is it one of the best pop songs of the year? Check. The lyrics focus on the post-launch vetting process of modern dating, the narrator ringing off each desirable quality of her new beau like she's scribbling it in a heart-locked diary with a glitter gel pen. He’s trustworthy, loyal, spoils her, and pays for their dates. Finished off with perky squiggles of guitar, gossamer synths, and a locked-in drum groove that begs for hip swinging, it’s a song that matches the boy toy described, “a perfect ten.”

22. Yeah x10 [MIXED] by Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Boys Noize: It’s hard to write about a song off the Boys Noize-remixed version of the Challengers soundtrack in isolation, because my enjoyment of that album is deeply wrapped up in how every song on it flows together. But amidst the pulse-pounding thrum of sultry electronics that comprise the record materializes the particularly insidious hook of “Yeah x10,” built around the simple refrain of the songs title. I can’t tell you how many times this year I mumbled “Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah” under my breath as I typed up essays, folded my laundry, or took out the trash, infusing these mundane tasks with the badass bitchery of Tashi Duncan and co. That’s the power of this song, it’s two-clap pop-and-locking, the sly swerves of car tires skidding across pavement, all ratcheting up to a fever pitch of static before it locks back into a catwalk groove. With this song yeah-yeah-ing it’s way into your ears, for a moment, we all get to be part of the hottest movie of the year.

21. THINGS BEHIND THINGS BEHIND THINGS by Bon Iver: “THINGS BEHIND THINGS BEHIND THINGS” hit me late in autumn, as most of Bon Iver’s music does, ushered in by chilly November winds and existential agony over what the hell I’m going to do with my life. It nestles comfortably within the established Bon Iver sound—folky guitars, crystalline textures, alto pontification from Justin Vernon. “I’m afraid of changing,” he admits, and this anxiety over stagnation saturates deep into the song. Lyrically, he bends platitudes backwards into modes of self-examination, “I get caught looking in the mirror,” “I got caught compiling my own news,” pursuing an explanation for it all. The song’s title offers up a hazy gesture towards the interconnectivity that links our lives together, echoes of history swirling into the edges of our reflection. “THINGS BEHIND THINGS BEHIND THINGS” is as comforting as it is confounding, a reminder that we cannot move forward without looking back, looking in.

20. Sucia by Empress Of: Just one of the many sensual pop gems on Empress Of’s forth record For Your Consideration, “Sucia” pulls apart from the rest of the pack by being one of the most unapologetically dirty songs of the year. “I’m’a roll around in it,” Lorely Rodriguez taunts over a filthy combination of churning bass and grumbling vocal samples that’ll get your ass shaking. Throughout the song, she alternates fluidly between English and Spanish, and boy howdy am I glad I sharpened my language skills while studying in Spain this year, because it means I can furiously blush along to her lyrics, which are bonkers explicit and so so fun. “I can’t keep clean when your face is between / Cuando estás entre mis piernas” makes me feel like I need to take a goddamn shower. “I smell your sweat / You’re so hard / to forget” is the lyric break of the year, slipping by so slyly you might miss the double entendre. “Sucia” ecstatically revels in the dirtiness, celebrating the pleasure it brings, polishing away the grime to reveal the sparkling pop gem at the core.

19. Motorcycle by Remi Wolf: I usually turn to Remi Wolf’s music for rambunctious production and boisterous energy, but on “Motorcycle,” the butter-smooth ballad that lands smack dab in the middle of her latest album Big Ideas, she chooses to take things slow. It’s truly special when the moment of reprieve on a pop album hits just as hard as the bops, and on “Motorcycle,” Remi Wolf’s minimal approach works wonders. Every detail is perfectly curated to supplement the sensual, balmy atmosphere, a sly shuffle of bass, a sprinkle of snare, a wa-wa-ing synth. The details are languid and sun soaked, smoking on the roof sans bikini top, watercolor puddles, the ordinary romance of positing “we could get a dog.” It’s hard to make comfortable rest as compelling as bombastic breakups or chaotic crushing, but Remi Wolf pulls it off. What’s the good of all that drama if there isn’t a great song to play over the end credits? “Motorcycle” is the sound of the breeze rippling through your hair as you ride off into the sunset.

18. bye by Ariana Grande: It’s a bold move to have the first proper song on an album be all about endings, but Ariana Grande pulls it off on her spectacular seventh record eternal sunshine. Despite the tragedy of the song describing a breakup, “bye” is a downright joyous listen. Like other titanic entries in her catalogue, such as "Honeymoon Avenue," "Greedy" and "Into You," "bye" transforms Ariana’s familiar realm of modern R&B-pop and infuses it with a timeless, exuberant extravagance off the bouncy horn accents, disco-dappled synth swing, and punchy strings. It’s the perfect backdrop for her to reframe the details of a breakup with a soft smile, her friend Courtney pulling up in the driveway, moving boxes, anticipating the moment in the future where she can "look back with love." Despite the controversies and Broadway blockbuster adaptations that shaped her public image in 2024, Ariana Grande sounds wholly comfortable and secure in the choices she narrates here. At this point in her career, she has nothing left to prove, but that doesn’t mean she can’t keep raising the bar regardless.

17. Juna by Clairo: Living up to the title of the album it hails from, Clairo’s sweet little indie hit “Juna” is reserved yet effortlessly charming, infusing her cozy bedroom-pop aesthetic with swanky jazz ornamentation. “Juna” shimmies and sparkles with lush details, glistening keys, velveteen-soft guitars, and a silly yet sumptuous mouth-trumpet solo. Clairo’s delivery throughout the track is reserved, almost hushed, like she’s whispering lovestruck confessions right into your ear. “You make me want to buy a new dress,” she whisps, before infusing the sweetness with a subtle sensuality, “you make want to slip off a new dress.” The subdued, rich orchestration of the song lends to its palpable intimacy and shimmying anxiety of recognizing just how well somebody knows you, how exciting it could be to eventually see more of them. “With you there’s no pretending,” Clairo affirms. “Juna” feels warm and familiar, but also opens up a new dimension to her sound. Despite the lingering shyness, she comes off more assured in herself than ever.

16. Better Hate by Jessica Pratt: My adoration for Jessica Pratt’s album Here In The Pitch was a slow burn this year. While opener “Life Is” captured my attention back in July, but it was the follow up of “Better Hate” that fully enraptured me and kept me coming back. The song's composition is dark yet sumptuous, like pitch black velvet, and inscrutable yet delectable mode of chamber pop infused with a lively bossa nova swing. Pratt’s voice careens out of the tapestry like it’s pouring out of a gramophone in the corner of an attic, welcoming the listener to ponder the nebulous lyrics on self-recognition and a relationship in question alongside her: “I’ve been clear before / what’s the longing there? / Just a sad case, I’m nobody’s fool.” Do I know what that means? Not completely, but I believe from the conviction of her delivery that Jessica Pratt does. In the meantime, I’ll have to keep letting this song welcome me into its enigmatic depths, parsing for meaning in the darkness. If we're all here in the pitch, we might as well get comfortable.

15. cherry cola by Devon Again: This might just be the poppiest pop song of the year, in title, subject matter, and sound. I started bumping Devon Again’s “Cherry Cola” back during the Summer, and in the months since, its pulse-pounding, explosive sugar rush hasn’t waned in the slightest, each repeated spin as fun and fizzy as the last. Every time I hear it my heart feels too big for my chest. Or maybe I'm just overcaffeinated, much like Devon Again herself. The song abounds with sweets-studded details of a whirlwind romance that’s almost too intense to bear. “Loving you is like sipping on straight syrup,” Devon Again belts on the chorus, “Cover me in in candy / I’m so lucky that I get to know you.” The production lives up to that description, reducing the thrill down to sticky pop concentrate. Every synth, cymbal hit, and flourishing swarm of guitar builds up and up to an impossible height, the carbonation foaming up over the lip of the glass and cascading over you for a taste of bubbly joy that you’ll never forget. Shoutout to @bellamysgriffin for putting this on my radar.

14. Theater by Etta Marcus: Etta Marcus busts down the door on her debut album The Death of Summer & Other Promises with “Theater,” an avalanche of drama and panache you’d expect from the song’s title. Lyrically, she recounts putting on a performance of perfection and nonchalance for her partner, and as the song progresses and the instrumental escalates, the reality of the situation peels back and back until there’s nothing but an empty stage and glaring lights laying her desperation bare for everyone to see. “I wanna be loved,” Marcus confesses with the power of an entire breath as the drums crash in, “I wanna be loved / Like right out of a movie where I’ll be the star.” Imagination is a powerful and necessary tool for us to picture the best for ourselves, but it can’t stop the pain which comes with returning to reality and all that idealism fades away. “Theater” is the song for that first breath of realization, the daydream and nightmare slamming up against each other in one of the best power ballads of the year. A round of applause, now, everyone, for the damn good show.

13. Ever Seen by beabadoobee: Even as beabadoobee continues to come into her own as a singular singer-songwriter and bona-fide rock star, working with the likes of Rick Rubin, I must confess that my favorite music from her will always be her adorably earnest synth pop tracks, like those from her 2021 EP Our Extended Play. Thank goodness she still offered up some of that on her latest record This Is How Tomorrow Moves with “Ever Seen,” a song so ridiculously lovestruck and adorable that it makes me both euphorically gleeful and jealously infuriated. The song captures the feeling of gazing into your lover’s eyes so hard you can feel hearts blooming in your pupils like a cartoon character, a gauzy whirlwind of fluttering guitar strums and beabadoobee’s cotton-candy wisp of a voice. She alludes to deeper reasons why this relationship means so much to her, but at the end of the day, it distills down into a single detail: “He has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen.” And sometimes it really is that simple, the act of seeing, of being seen, that mutual recognition that’s simply electrifying in such circumstances. Isn’t that what love is all about, at the end of the day? Until I’m able to find such magic in the real world, I’ll just have to keep returning to this song to remind that it’s obtainable in the first place.

12. The Architect by Kacey Musgraves: Kacey Musgraves writes an open letter to a higher power on “The Architect,” wrestling with the desire for there to be “blueprints or plans” that would imbue her life with a deeper meaning. Whether you’re religious or not, I think there’s something universal in this feeling, the clutching for an explanation of life’s haphazard mechanics and boundless beauty. Musgraves scales these emotions from a single sweet apple to the Grand Canyon to her own face in the mirror, her clarion voice set against a gentle rollick of simple strummed guitar. My favorite touch are Daniel Tashian’s backing vocals, a voice in the distance that seems reachable one moment and invisible the next. The song finds fruitful ground in the ambiguous confluence of fate and free will. “I thought that I was too broken / And maybe too hard to love,” she sings in the song’s final verse, “I was in a weird place, then I saw the right face / And the stars and the planets lined up.” Whose face is it? The architect’s? A lover’s? Her own? Even though life’s grand plan remains out of reach, Musgraves relays how, every so often, we can still find moments where everything seems to make perfect sense. 

11. Docket by Blondshell ft. Bully: “Docket,” Blondshell’s one-off single in collaboration with indie rocker Bully, takes the award for my favorite opening line of the year: “I said ‘Don’t shake my hand it’s wet’ he said, ‘I’ll kiss it instead’ / He said ‘I saw the whole show,’ I’m not scared of the sweat.” There’s an allure in someone cutting through your excuses and wanting you for everything you are, no matter how repugnant it can be. On the rest of the song, Blondshell and Bully unpack a doom spiral of sex and guilt amidst life on the road, parsing through the desire for closeness and distance, marking down hookups on a checklist of obligations to smother the self-loathing. “It’s cruel to let you love me” they harmonize at the brink of the chorus, remembering the partner waiting for them back home, “I don’t want what I need.”  The song animates the whirlwind of shame and half-satiated lust with scorching guitar riffs and screamed backing vocals pushed deep into the mix, the admission of guilty conscious clawing to the surface at the shoulder-shrug declaration at the end of the chorus: “My worst nightmare is me.”

Honorable mentions: "Down Bad" by Taylor Swift, "Do you wanna" by Astrid Sonne, "Comin' Around Again" by Amber Mark, "Love Me Not" by Ravyn Lenae, "Pushing It Down and Praying" by Lizzy McAlpine, "Whatever Forever" by Ber, "Houdini" by Dua Lipa, "Big Love" by Suki Waterhouse, "Touch" by Katseye, "Cha Cha" by Sophie Hunter, and "Sticky" by Tyler, The Creator, GloRilla, Sexyy Red, and Lil Wayne.

And that's the list! In a year where the blockbuster releases didn't let up for a second, I'm sure I missed a lot of great stuff. Please let me know what your favorite songs of 2024 were!

Thank you all for the support for this blog throughout the year. Here's to 2025 being just as amazing for music.

Much love, TIM

[yuurivoice]

i just want you to know. the tweet you made about the vampire auron audio and the feelings it’ll explore has haunted me all day. HAUNTED. HAUNTED I TELL YOU!!!!!!! i think the audio itself will be the death of me.

It's a certified banger. Some of my finest work. I'm thrilled. 👌✨️

[greyeyedmonster-18]

i can see you (up against the wall with me)

(i haven't slammed repeat on a song in awhile, I Can See You from Speak Now (Taylors Version) is a certified banger and this...slipped out.

please enjoy a slytherin! sirius, wolfstar au)

-

Remus had initially approached this Herbology assignment as a business arrangement, nothing more, nothing left, completely annoyed and frustrated at being paired with Sirius Black. But in a NEWT class so small, many of his classmates dropping out after sixth year and realizing the work required and that Herbology wasn't, in fact, an easy O as they had anticipated, leaving the class nearly empty.

Just Remus

A few Hufflepuffs, a Ravenclaw by the name of Turpin.

and Sirius Black.

With his stupid handsome face and dark curly hair and casually cool, effortlessly aloof expression. Sirius looked as if he had never worried about a damn thing in his life and Remus pulled at the threads of his uniform every opportunity he got. Though, it was much harder to do so with his arms elbow deep in a potted plant, Sirius beside him writing up the report due within the next few days.

"How does the soil feel?" Sirius asked.

"Like soil, bloody disgusting..."

The corners of Sirius's mouth turned up slightly, not even enough to make a crease in his face. Barely there. But Remus saw it, and oh.

"Clay, sandy, loam..."

"That's a made up word," Remus said, trying to focus on kneading the bottom of the plant gently to check for any stray moving roots or insects, cursing himself for taking Herbology in the first place. Even if the years of gardening with his Mum had paid off finally.

"We've been learning about loam for two weeks."

"I said the word sounded made up, not the concept," Remus countered and the corners of Sirius's mouth twitched again. He shook his head and Remus's heart flipped, watching a stray dark curl fall out of the ponytail Sirius was wearing and fall in front of his eyes.

Oh.

"So conceptually, is it loam or...?"

"Clay loam," Remus told him, gently setting the plant back in the pot, and wiping his hands on a nearby towel. He watched as Sirius's eyebrows drew together softly, as he concentrated on the questions in front of him, writing out each word carefully in neat cursive. Despite wanting it to be a business arrangement--Remus assuming the worst from a boy in Slytherin with the last name Black who scarcely spoke to anyone in school and hadn't given anyone a reason to trust him, half of his peers walking around with marks on their arms--the plan had failed miserably. Not only did Remus realize Black was exceptionally adept at Herbology, but he was pleasant. He was easy to work with. He was exceptionally good looking and Remus found himself staring every moment he could, desperate for more. Imagining what it would be like to have Sirius's clipped fingernails and broad hands palming the back of his neck and touching his hipbones.

I’ve been watching you for ages and I spend my time trying not to feel it

Remus was beside himself, and delusional, trying to find excuses to talk to Sirius once the business arrangement was over, and feeling foolish as he did so.

Except.

Sirius would brush past him in the hallway, a broad shoulder skimming against his during passing periods and Remus wanted to taste the aftershave on Sirius's neck.

Sirius would send him whisper smiles in Herbology.

In Potions.

Every opportunity for a glance in each others direction became an opportunity for a secret smile, or a wink, grey eyes twinkling with nothing but trouble. Thats all Sirius Black was. Trouble. Not someone Remus wanted to mix himself up with in his final year, in the beginnings of a war. There was already talk of secret societies being orchestrated by Dumbledore; already reports in the Daily Prophet and resources for people who wanted to help. Remus knew he already had a target on his back as a werewolf, people unsure whether to trust him and getting involved with Sirius Black wouldn't help the cause any.

But then Remus would look up from his textbook in the library, and see Sirius Black at a table alone, looking straight back. A quick tilt of a dark eyebrow, asking--no daring-- Remus to move. Remus tapped his fingers on the desk, not breaking eye contact, the two engaged in the staring contest of the century, both determined not to break. He was just about to swallow his pride, his ego, and surrender to bravery when Sirius stood up from his table, casually walking over to Remus, silver and green tie loose around his neck, somehow still managing to look refined and not disheveled like the rest of the population.

Remus opened his mouth when Sirius got within earshot, to attempt a greeting. A hey. A I'm losing the ability to control myself. A stop looking at me like that, please.

A what would you do if they never found us out?

Sirius put his hand flat on the table, looking down at Remus, tilting his head to the side, "Hey."

"Hello."

"We make a good team."

"What?"

"We got an O on our Mimulus aurantiacus."

"Oh. Yeah," Remus said lamely, scooting back in his chair to avoid having to strain his neck to look up at Sirius. It was too close, it was too much. Remus could see every dark eyelash and the beauty mark below Sirius's left eye; his crooked eyetooth and the planes of his face and the warmth of his skin. Remus would put money on Sirius's expanses skin being able to keep him warm, thaw every chill in Remus's body, imagining what it would be like to be pressed into a mattress underneath Sirius.

What would you do if I went to touch you now?

And then Sirius gave him that smile, the corner raising higher than it ever had and Remus's breathing hitched at the sight. This boy was beyond intoxicating, more potent than any shot of firewhiskey had had ever taken.

"Don't want to talk to me anymore, Lupin?" Sirius asked, as teasing tone in his voice, "Project over and you can't be seen with me?"

"I..what...do you want to talk about?"

"I don't. Not really."

"...So I should...mind my own business?"

"Not that either," Sirius said, and bent down lower, leaning all the way across the table and Remus could feel his face flush. It was late enough that the library was nearly empty, close to curfew and students had mostly cleared out. Madame Pince was likely in the back and closing for the evening. And then there was Sirius, with his lips skimming the shell of Remus's ear as he spoke. "Can you be quiet, Lupin?" he whispered.

"I think so."

What would you do if we never made a sound?

"Good, because Merlin knows I have not stopped thinking about you," Sirius said, standing up once more. "I'll see you outside."

I can see you, waiting down the hall for me.

The next day, Remus turned the corner out Ancient Runes, instantly spotting Sirius leaning one shoulder against the wall, his expensive leather bag over the other. The whisper smile that first caught Remus's attention flickering, as if the other boy was unable to stop it at the sight of Remus, both of them remembering the night before.

An abandoned hallway, just shy of the library, hidden behind tapestries and staircases, the two of them ignoring both bells of warning for curfew.

One of Remus's hands above his head, plastered to the wall with the rest of of his body as Sirius kissed him roughly. Endlessly. Wanting to steal every attempt at conversation and word Remus could possibly offer and Remus let him. Sirius Black did not kiss nice and Remus wouldn't have had it any other way.

I can see you, up against the wall with me.

It was bold.

Exhilarating.

Remus finally answering Sirius's eyebrow of a dare and pushing robes off the other boys shoulders, throwing them to the ground, their feet caught in a heap of dark fabric. Stepping on toes and unable to get enough of each other.

"How quiet can you be, Lupin?" Sirius asked, his voice low. His hands on the buckle of Remus's belt.

"Very."

"Let's see about that..."

They keep watchful eyes on us

It's best that we move fast and keep quiet

Remus inhaled as he walked by Sirius with his friends, shoulders brushing, fingers touching for the tiniest of moments, the two of them lost in a fantasy together. Sirius cocked his head to the side, just enough for Remus to see the deep red bruise on his neck poking out of the top of his shirt collar.

What would you do, baby, if you knew? That I can see you.

[myloveforhergoeson]

ash's december 2024 reading round up

find all the books and fics i read (or didn't read...) this month under the cut with a link to the synopsis and my reviews/ratings attached :)

this is just for fun! i'm not a professional, i just like to read <3

booklist:

Merry Ever After by Tessa Bailey (18+!)

review: ...mid as hell actually. and not technically a book, more of a novella, but the pacing was wayyy too quick regardless. i didn't really like either of the characters. i've been singing tessa's praises for the last year but honestly, her last few works have left me really disappointed :( don't even have the energy for a plot summary besides: single mom moves to a small town where the local single framer takes interest in her. maybe i just hate small-town romance. idk. skip this one

rating: 3/5 times i cringed at their "dirty talk"

2. Cruel Winter With You by Ali Hazelwood (18+!)

review: ali hazelwood.... save me.... save me ali hazelwood....... literally anything i pick up by her (i think i only have one or two books out of her complete works i haven't read...) is a certified banger okay? a second chance... former childhood friends... forced proximity... best friend's brother... billionaire.......holiday romance novella......... oh my lord. the brilliant way this story was split between the past and present was so well put together, giving just enough information to understand the present while not enough to reveal any information about the past until the story had run it's course... augh... it's so masterfully written GOD. and the characters, jaime and marc were so wonderful. even in the short length of the story i really cared for them both and the pacing of their story was so pleasant! def would recommend if anyone is looking for a quick holiday read next holiday season!

rating: 4/5 times i had to figure out the settings of my new kindle during this read

did not reach my goal of 24 books this year :( trying again this year!

fic list:

i want to start this section with a preface: as i am learning i'm struggling with a gigantic bout of writer's block atm, i've found myself reading less fic as a result. this doesn't mean i support yalls works any less. it's my resolution this year to read as much as i can - fic or otherwise - so please give me some grace as i learn to love fic again! so proud of you all and your works. that's being said, here is my sad short list from december

assorted works of @icegirl2772

It's a Wonderful Life - Big Time Secret Santa 2024

We Do (But Friends Don't)

my friend..... kucy ship of all time, for one. but i LOVE the way you wrote the two of them as adults so much! so much of their character traits from the show still made it in, despite them being older. the way you constructed their relationship backstory fit so well too!... augh.... also the idea that they all own mansions next to each other when they grow up sent me bc of course they do.... THE ENGAGEMENT ALSO??? THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT!!!!!! it TRULY IS A WONDERFUL LIFE......! so sweet of you to write this for pearl and got to share it with all of us as well :)) <3 and the new chapter of we do but friend's don't had me kicking my feet and twirling my hair around my finger......... god i love jaelyn so fucking much......

2. assorted works of @naquey/@ithinkyouhealedmyheart

Ghostwriter Extras: Swim

Ghostwriter Ch 18-22

swim...... aguh........... aside from the main point, i think this story showed such depth to ronnie's character that i haven't yet seen in ghostwriter! the way you write emotion is so raw and real, the descriptions of her every thought and feeling really informs her decisions and it's so fascinating to see the way her mind works. it's the same in the main story, of course, which i love so dearly as well! ronnie and kurt's trouble in paradise is driving me crazy!! and your descriptions as ronnie is going through that is so interesting!! so excited to catch up and see what the gang is all up to :3 <3

3. assorted works of @partiallypearl/@praetoravila

All Over Again Ch 10

and when i was ten, you were my best friend

listen, i think about the first scene with olive and lexi like literally on the daily. the "i'm giving myself permission to have different options" line lexi shares has quite honestly entered my list of little mantras i tell myself when the going gets tough.... so impactful and so important and so wonderful of lexi to share with olive. changed my entire worldview for a second and many times afterward i stg.... so ty for that! and the way you write logan and camille (even if it's hard to see for a lomille shipper such as i....) is honestly what i imagine those two are like when the going gets tough. they're both so emotional and you capture that so well! even if this is a fight they don't come back from (and i hope bc im a bigger lolive shipper...) it is so true to them IMO!! but olive is driving me crazy trying to help fix it.... girl that's the love of your life leave it alone!!!!!!!!!! last few lines had me reeling. logan you perfect stupid genius idiot........ <3333!!! :) AND OF COURSE MY CHRISTMAS GIFT..... friend i cannot thank you enough. i know that kames is not ship you love, but the way you captured the boy's relationship was masterfully written. despite not knowing much canon info about their lives in minnesota, i think you did a wonderful job at displaying the dynamic between james and kendall. i'm also a sucker for multiple interpretations - so be it a platonic or romantic interaction, it was still something personal and hard to share, but james shared anyway... augh.... god i'm obsessed with them.thank you so much for the gift. you are always so sweet and kind to me and ily mwah!!!!

4. assorted works of @fiyero0533/@fiyero3305

I Gotta Get New Friends

first of all, any kidfic kills me, but there is something so special about baby btr..... i also love the logan is from texas agenda sm. sometimes fanon should be canon but i digress! the dialogue was so realistic to kiddos and i love the way kendall was wanting to help logan, even as a stranger! natural born leader forever. i would love to read about the four of them conducting science experiments from logans book or from bill nye lmaoooo! and everyone meeting as lunch augh!! "are you going to get injured again?" "probably!" took me outtt. and the END AUGHHHH god i love those four so much. such a sweet gift im so thrilled you got to share :3

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  dartlekey! @dartlekey has 11 fics in the Stranger Things Fandom and 9 of them are in the Steddie tag!.

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @dartlekey:

If you were church (I'd get on my knees)

RUSH! (T4T REMIX)

At a medium pace

With great power

"I read the "with great power" series not long after I got into the Steddie fandom and was instantly like "I need to raid this author's other fics" and subscribed to them. No regrets for that choice!!" -- Anonymous

Below the cut, @dartlekey answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

For me, Steddie hits that sweet spot of strong characterization but woefully underexplored details, both for the individual characters but also their dynamic with each other in canon. That makes their relationship the ideal writer's sandbox - since they're both so fluid, you can explore the characters through each other, showcasing many different and even conflicting facets of each other while still retaining their original characters and behaviors. Either of them can be rich or poor, famous or an everyguy, Gay or Bisexual, Dom or Sub, Top or Bottom, Trans in any direction - the details are up to you! 

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I love a good slowburn friends-to-lovers fic. It needs to be a specific kind for me though - I'm not much one for prolonged pining, but I love it when the friendship is explored in such depth that the next step feels like an inevitability. Watching that deep platonic affection turn not-so-platonic, that's the good shit. 

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

My specialty as a writer, I think, is crack treated seriously, or crack with a twist. Usually the first question that sparks one of my fics is “If X happened, would that be hilarious or what?” and then the second is “But if it was because of Y, would that be fucked up or what?” I think you can see it best in If you were church I'd get on my knees (what if Steve was a stripper at Eddie's stag party BUT it was actually a social commentary on queerness and sexuality in the face of religious oppression), but it's in At a medium pace too (what if Eddie couldn't move his arms because of injury so Steve “has” to jerk him off, but it's actually about how growing up queer can warp your perspective on healthy sexuality) , or even in Don't look back (What if Eddie had to dom Steve for plot reasons, but it's all body horror and trauma and spiraling codependency). 

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I don’t think I could name one all-time favorite, because what I enjoy most about fanfic is that different writers bring different character interpretations, storytelling styles and plot ideas to the table, which I find incomparable. I have enjoyed many of the well-known classics, of course (pukner I owe you my life--), but let me use this chance to give a shout-out to some less well-known masterpieces! My top three underrated fics are Three Days on the Red Planet by CaptainHoney/@grandmastattoo on tumblr (retro scifi, gritty but humorous hopepunk, every single fic of theirs is a certified banger but I love this one the most for some reason!!), Love dirty men alike by wrenowich (chef au, an ode to kitchen culture in all its griminess, I love a detailed backstory plus Steddie being wonderfully weird about each other), and That’s just wasteland, baby! by fastcardotmp3 (post-s4 apocalypse survival, sweet and aching and tired and yet hopeful, made me cry in the best way). 

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

One that's pretty unique to the steddie fandom, or perhaps general stranger things fandom, is “if canon event x had happened differently/hadn't happened at all/had happened to a different person, how would the rest of canon change?” I still need to work out a lot of details in my head, so that's all I'll say for now, but it's something I'm very interested in exploring.

What is your writing process like?

Much to the horror of fic writers everywhere, I don't do first drafts, I just write out everything in detail, scene by scene in chronological order. I edit as I go, and consider the many-numbered, often unplanned writing breaks an important part of my process - when I let the written portion sit for a while and the unwritten ideas percolate in my brain for a bit, I often end up with new plot points or solutions for problems I've been having! And when that inspiration strikes, I can write anywhere - on the train, during lunch break at work, in the vegetable aisle of the grocery store… I have gdocs on my phone and I use it liberally; I'd say I write at least 80% of any given fic on my phone. 

Do you have any writing quirks?

Apart from the hot mess I just described, I'd say it's that I never use Beta readers. I'll occasionally ask friends to help with specific details if I need an expert on certain subject matter, but I've found I get very grumpy and fussy if someone pokes at my plot (even if or rather especially if they’re right lol), and I don't want to subject anyone to that. 

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

For oneshots or series comprised of single-chapter fics I like posting as soon as I'm done, but for multi-chapter works I've recently found that starting to post only after I've finished most (if not all) chapters beforehand improves the quality of the story! Since I tend to integrate new ideas or shift around plot points a lot while writing, I often end up in completely different places than my original concept, so if an early chapter isn't posted yet I can retroactively edit it to add foreshadowing or tone-match the end of the work, remove loose threads and suchlike. Don't look back is a good example of how this has worked out for me; comparatively It don't bite (Yes it do) - which I wrote and posted chapter by chapter - is tonally all over the place. 

Which fic are you most proud of?

Naturally I love all my babies, but I consider Don't look back my magnum opus - both because it is the longest fic I've ever written (13 chapters and 90.000 words in total, that's practically a novel!) and because it's the most plot-rich, labor-intensive, and overall serious in tone. I even worked in subplots about the rest of the cast, so it almost reads like its own season. I wrote it for last year's Steddie Bigbang, which means there's also a gorgeous accompanying artwork by @the-chilly-kat. 

How did you get the idea for With great power?

At the time I'd seen a few marvel AUs floating past me on the tumblr timeline, usually with Steve as Spiderman and Eddie as the human component of Venom, and having just recently seen the Venom movie depicting the rich relationship between Eddie Brock and the symbiote, it surprised me that most left the symbiote as its own character, and not substituted one of the ST main cast. The symbiotic relationship of Stobin immediately came to mind, though I also still loved the idea of Steve as Spidey - then I remembered that in the Toby McGuire movies, the two are not mutually exclusive, and it all spiraled from there. Eddie as Deadpool just made sense - immortal wild-card with a dubious moral code but a heart of gold? Obviously! Plus Spideypool is, of course, a classic ship. 

When writing With great power, what was something you didn’t expect?

I actually got several curious comments about the sex toy Steve uses in Because the night - a grindable or grinder, which is a flat-ish silicone structure, usually ribbed in an interesting way, that one can grind against to get off (as the name suggests). I thought it was pretty common, but apparently it's not very well known!

What inspired  RUSH! (T4T REMIX)?

Oh, it's my time to gush! Because the idea for the first work actually came about from a late night conversation I had with the beautiful, amazing, wonderful @maikaartwork, back when we were, how should I say, in the courting stage? Seeing as we met through the Steddie fandom, I decided to write Baby Said basically to seduce them - and I am happy to say it worked, as we've been dating for over eight months now and are planning to move in together next year! Both works from RUSH! - T4T REMIX (and the secret new WIP, shh) are thus somewhat inspired by our conversations and our t4t relationship, but also by the many interesting and different trans people I've met over the years, and trans solidarity and relationships in general.

What was your favorite part to write from At a medium pace?

The small-talk in between position changes - no, really! I love a mindless marathon-fuck story as much as the next person, but there's something very sweet and intimate about those little breaks in sex, the pass the lube, move your leg a bit, what's for dinner later of it all. That's where you see that emotional connection - there's no admission of crushes or big love confessions in this fic because it's right there in the details.

How do/did you feel writing RUSH! (T4T REMIX)?

Honestly, it's just really really fun and self-indulgent. The Steddie dynamic in it is so bitchy, all the bickering makes me laugh even as I'm writing it. It's also just really fun to write about the trans experience in a way that is curious and loving, and reflects all the very different and yet similar ways people experience living in a body that defies expectation. I've loved all my fellow trans people sounding off in the comments about their own transition experiences, it's wonderful to have such a fantastic community!

What was the most difficult part of writing If you were church (I'd get on my knees)?

Curiously enough, not the many religious trauma bits! Much like Eddie in the fic, I'm only church-freak adjacent - I grew up in a non-religious household but with extended family that were extremely catholic, so the odd juxtaposition of being occasionally close to but definitely not involved in what is pretty much cult behavior inspired much of this fic. The most functionally difficult part to write was actually the wedding - as an aro-spec & trans relationship anarchist, church weddings have never been relevant to me, so I had very little idea what actually goes into one! Very little of the research I conducted on the topic actually made it into the fic, but hey, the more you know. 

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

People keep asking me that, and I never know what to answer! If I had to pick one, though, maybe the last few paragraphs of Don't look back - where you can see the tragedy coming, but there's no way of stopping it, because it was always going to end this way. And then Eddie's last words before the end of the fic call back to the title as well as the general theme of the fic - it just all comes together for such a crescendo of an ending. 

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Yes, actually! Coming soon in the SteddieBang'24, me and my lovely artist @hawkinsleather have been working hard on a 20k post-s4 fic called A glimpse of your canvas, which is about closeted transfemme!Eddie, women's solidarity, and Steve's very confusing no-good trip to the gay bar. Both With great power and RUSH! (T4T REMIX) have another WIP pending which I'll eventually finish (I promise, I'm just easily distracted!!), and for those who are still mad about Don't look back’s open ending, I'm almost done with the sequel, which features a lot of bad decisions by all characters involved, the healing power of community, and a bit of accidental child acquisition. 

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Given the chance of this platform, I would like to notify my readers that I'm a terrible procrastinator when it comes to replying to comments, but I read and cherish every one of them - and repeat commenters, I see you, I love you, I am chewing on your arm like a dog with a bone!! I would also like to thank the steddie fandom in general for giving me the hottest partner known to man or God, and for the many friendships I've been so fortunate to build here. Talk about transformative works, am I right? <3 

Thank you to our author, @dartlekey, and our anonymous nominator! See more of dartlekey's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[criistalxxx]

I recently made a post about some albums that I love and that I listened to non stop back in the days. I mentioned how they helped shape me as a person and my music taste but really it was a specific artist that made me who I am and who made me truly fall in love with music. They are who I think about whenever spotifiy wrap comes around and people look at me crazy for how many minutes I listened to music. Its One Direction. Without sounding so cliche they are who I listened to nonstop in middle and high school. I've always liked music but really they are who made me fall in love with it and made me expand my music taste. Made me explore other music that wasn't radio hits and what my parents played. In a corny cliche way they were also my safe haven. My mental health took its first appearance in middle school and they were what I would listen to whenever I was having an episode. I would also sit there for hours on YouTube watching One Direction funny moments. Also of course they are what got me into reading. Shout out to Wattpad, AO3, and all the non English speaking authors who made some of the best soul crushing smutty fanfics ever. I can go on and on about all the ways one direction members inpacted me (and I will), but lets take a break and get into the actual reason I'm making this post right now. I'm going to go through each album and talk about them. I know probably no one will see this but like my bio says this is my personal diary and I'm doing this for me. lets get started and go to the very first album.

Up All Night

On May 25, 2012 One Direction released there debut album titled Up All Night. There was 18 songs on the album making the duration 1 hour and 3 minutes. This album broke many records and went certified triple platinum in my room. Their lead single 'What Makes You Beautiful' was my first introduction to One Direction. It was a fun pop song and I was obsessed with it. I would watch the music video daily and would choose which boy I thought was the cutest with my cousins and who we would date. Keep in mind I'm in middle school when this came out. At the time it was the best album but now that I got taste its not in my top listened. Dont get me wrong there's some bangers on here that whenever I hear them I totally jam out, but it has some of my leaset favorite songs on the album. Either way this a certified classic and if it was playing I would def be singing along too.

Favorites: Tell Me A Lie, More Than This, Moments

Least Favorites: Gotta Be You, Save You Tonight, Another World

Take Me Home

On November 12, 2012 they released their sophomore album Take Me Home. This was also the start of them releasing music in November. This album was what for sure made me fall in love. This was the album where we were able to hear more from my kings Louis and Niall. Just in case you don't know who the members of the biggest boy band of this century let me tell you about them. Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, and Zayn Malik. My husbands and who made me who I am now. In the begininng of their career Louis and Niall were seen as the weaker links but they were also fan favorites so there was a large demand for them to be able to sing more and be apart of the music more. At one point they would turn down Nialls mic and #LetNiallSing was trending on socials. Louis in his recent documentary talked about how they would record vocals for songs only for them to not make the cut. This album we did see more from them but nothing compared to the next couple albums. I also believe this was the first album where Louis got to be apart of the writing process more. Anyways this album is great and screams summer to me. We also got Harry rapping so that was dope.

Favorites: Over Again, She's Not Afraid, and Nobody Compares

Least Favorite: Irresistible, Magic, Truly Madly Deeply

Midnight Memories

This album is so good, like so so so good. It was released November 25, 2013. Its 59 minutes and 31 seconds of nothing but hits. The boys were very happy with this album since they felt like they actually were able to be involved with everthing on this album. Not to mention we got to see Louis and Liam write nothing but the best songs in One Direction's discography. More specifically Louis with 12 song writing credits on the album which btw theres 18 songs on the album. that more that half the album and all of them are straight bangers. This era was the best and most fun era in my opinion next to the take me home era. It was also when they were in their frat boy era were they looked SO good. With the release of this album we got their documentary and also 1D which was a beautiful disaster. This album and the next has my top favorites in their discography so it was very hard for me to choose but here's my favorites and least favorites. Which I want to clarify that I don't hate these songs theyre just the ones I don't listen to the most.

Favorites: Happily, Does He Know?, and Alive

Least Favorites: Something Great, You & I, Little White Lies

Four

Four is there fourth studio album (duh). This is probably my favorite album by them for sure. I kinda go back and forth between this and midnight memories but something about Four just has my heart. If I was trying to get someone into One Direction I will most likely have them listen to this album for sure. It's also probably there more indie alternative sounding album which is the type of music I currently listen to. Theres actually so many good songs on here that it was actually hard to decide which songs were my favorite because I am constantly changing it. 16 songs in total with 57 minutes of play time. This album was released November 17, 2014 and was the last album to feature Zayn on it. I still remember and will never forget the day I found out he was leaving. I was literally in algebra in middle school. I put on my headphones the whole day and became very very very emo. Like I literally went non verbal that whole day and everyone was cracking jokes and all I wanted to do was go home and cry. I did just that actually. Once I got home I went to my room and cried my eyes out like it was a first break up. Anyways this album is so good and in my opinion has only one skip and one song where I can only listen to it for a few more times before it becomes a skip (Once in a Lifetime and Fool's Gold). I also cant talk about this album without mentioning the No Control Project. No Control is a super sluty song written by my king Louis Tomlinson. It features a chorus where its literally nothing but him. Im so serious its just him singing the chorus and I live for it. Louis was always that person in the band where everyone outside the fandom thought he brought nothing to the band and couldn't sing. Which for at one point in his life he honestly believed which breaks my heart cause that's my boy. So you can imagine our shock when we heard this song for the first time. I literally cried and started screaming of pure joy of hearing Louis so much on a song. Please this song around a louis girl and shes crumbling. Anyways we wanted this song to be a single so bad but they never did release this as a single so we did what we did best and make it a fan project. Basically we promoted the shit out of this song and also got radios to play it. It got so huge that it broke records and charted. They still never released it as a single but it was definitely appreciated by them especially Louis. Anyways this album will always be my go to and the last real album with the core 5.

Favorite: Girl Almighty, No Control, Where Do Broken Hearts Go

Least Favorite: Once in a Lifetime, Fool's Gold, Act My Age

Made In The AM

This is their first album post Zayn. It was relased on November 13, 2015 with 17 songs and 58 minutes of play time. Although it didn't have Zayn it didn't feel any different from their last two albums in my opinion. Off topic but not really, I just stopped to check twitter and get a mini break from typing and the song Perfect started playing as soon as I read a tweet announcing that Perfect just reached 1 billion streams on Spotify making it their 5th song to achieve a billion streams. God I love this band. Anyways this song hold my all time favorite song by them, Hey Angel. I would pay any amount of money to hear this song again. Hey Angel is four minutes of everything I love about a one direction album. Amazing chorus, fantastic bridge and a random section that screams sex appeal. Harry during the second verse will always get me. I would love to have been a fly on the wall when he was recording that part. I won't say to much about it just go and listen to it on yourself and come back and agree with me. THE BRIDGE. Like are you kidding. It starts with Liam and its so catchy but then we bring it my lovely Louis and it just gets so much better. like the harmonies and melodies of that part will always get me. I just wish it was longer but it's great either way. I wont lie some of the songs on the album definitly had to grow on me but once they did it was amazing. 10 outta 10 album.

Favorite: Hey Angel, Wolves, Infinity

Least Favorite: If I Could Fly, I Want to Write You A Love Song, Long Way Down

In conclusion this band has some amazing songs and has atleast one song that I truly believe people will like. this band brings me so much joy and I could never thank them enough for everything they did to me without realising it. They shaped my music taste and the awsome humor I have. They are definitely my comfort artist and I will never hide that. Depending on the playlist they will always have at least one song there but whenever I get supre anxious, depressed or whenever I feel an episode coming on, I play their music to ground me and comfort me. Like my first breakup and the second, when I was suicidal, when my nephew died, and when Liam passed are just some of the examples I played their music to help calm me. Except the few times where I related to the songs and I cried even harder but that's besides the point. I love this band so much that ever since I was able to drive myself whenever I was with my younger brother I would play one direction so that way I will have a partner to listen to their music and not complain. I will never forget the endless nights of voting just to get them to win awards, making my first twitter and being there when stan twitter was being developed because of us, reading my first smutty book due to a fanfic about Harry, pretending to be sick during every album release so I could listen to it enough times to get it to number one. Remember to refresh instead of clicking replay. Sit me down and I can talk about them forever. This band will always mean the most to me and I will always cherish them.

[vee-beeee]

Games

HIII

Another short fluffy and crack one one for yallll, because Im trying not to write 3 million words LOL

If you know what video this is from, you are a certified hood banger

Premise: The boys are a littleeee competitive

just a tad

but so are you

Warnings: anger, swearing maybe, big baby rage mad boys, poor gladio

Chocobros x reader

╰┈➤---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"UNO"

"Prompto, I swear to god, if you win again ill kill you"

"I'm joining in on that"

"Anything for his majesty"

Sooooo you were currently sitting at a picnic table, cards in hand, watching 3 angry men stare down a VERY scared Prom. The poor guy chuckled and shied away from the group while Noctis silently took his turn, slapping down a card as he continued to glare at the blonde. Ignis took his turn and as always, he took 5 minutes to analyze his cards. You bit the inside of your cheek, and looked down at your own cards, feeling a little bad for Prompto. But he had won 3 times already, so that made any guilt you felt fade away. This was war.

As you scanned your cards you found a pretty deadly one in the mix. Should you do it?

Should you play a +4 on Gladio when he only had 2 cards left?

He might actually strangle you, nobody would be able save you.

Oh well. You will die a peaceful death, suffocating in his bicep.

Your turn

"NO WHY" Gladio yelled out from next to you when he saw the card you gently threw into the pile, making you cringe away from the burly man. Noctis burst into laughter, and Ignis joined in silent chuckles when he saw the card.

"Y/n, baby, why would you do this too me??" you closed your eyes and sighed, slowly facing the man. You cracked one peeper open to see that he looked SO depressed, his shoulders were hunched and he was grumbling as he grabbed the extra cards. Feeling bad, you brushed your arm against his and gently leaned up to kiss his cheek. He just glared at you, and continued pouting.

Gladio finished taking all the cards, and soon it was Prompto's turn. Everyone waited with bated breathe as he sighed a reluctantly took one more card. Cue everyone cheering.

Prompto looked like a kicked puppy, so you leaned over to him to give him some encouragement. Kinda

"Just remember, you've won 2 times already" you winked and pulled yourself back to your original position as Prom reddened, and gave you a small smile. You returned it, and the game continued.

Finally, it was your turn once again. You turned to Gladio and saw him intensely staring at your cards, almost like he was scared of what was going to happen. You smirked to yourself and put down a regular red card, and you watched Gladio's body sag with relief. He exhaled and put down a green card (same number) without thinking twice.

And then everyone turned to Prompto, who sheepishly drew another card.

And then another.

And then another.

This went on for a WHILE

Prompto started screaming about how he "doesn't have a green" and your party started wheezing with laughter at the poor blonde.

Finally he managed to pull one.

Prom let out a relieved groan as he set down a green nine. He looked down at his massive amount of cards he accumulated and you counted that he had 10. You gave him a sad smile, and he opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted.

By Ignis telling Noct "not to do it"

You looked over and saw the prince shaking with laughter, as Ignis (having seen the card being shown to him) was desperately telling Noct not to do something.

And then he put down a green reverse card.

And Prompto almost burst into tears. He cried out one final "I DONT HAVE A GREEN" while Noctis fell backwards with laughter. You looked around the group, and mentally took a picture of everyone.

Promptos look of absolute betrayal, Gladio holding on to his stomach and wheezing, and Ignis with his head in his hands.

And of course, Noctis on the ground.

You leaned your face in your hands that were resting on the table and chuckled, and slightly kicked the giggling prince who was rolling under the table.

You loved game night.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just a lil short one :D

I rewatched this uno video and I love it so much lol

HOPE YOU ENJOYED READINGG

[cherrygirlystuff]

Recreating the Indie Sleaze House Party Vibe for the Ultimate Nostalgia Night!

Hey, babe! 🌸 Have you been feeling a little nostalgic lately? Because same. There’s something about the vibe of those iconic indie sleaze house parties that just hits different, right? From the chaotic energy to the effortless style, and of course, the music that had us dancing like no one was watching – it was a whole mood. So, what do you say we bring that magic back for one night? I’m talking about a full-on Nostalgia Night where we recreate the ultimate indie sleaze house party vibe, complete with all the nostalgic hits. Ready to dive into the time machine? Let’s go! 🎧✨

What Was Indie Sleaze All About? 🌟

Before we start planning the perfect party, let’s take a moment to reminisce about what made indie sleaze so iconic. Picture it: the mid-to-late 2000s, when house parties were grungy, glamorous, and just the right amount of chaotic. Think Polaroid pictures, messy hair, and outfits that looked effortlessly thrown together (but you secretly spent hours perfecting). It was all about not trying too hard while still looking like the coolest person in the room. And the music? Absolute bangers that made you want to dance until the sun came up.

Step 1: Setting the Scene 🕯️

First things first – we’ve got to nail the vibe. Indie sleaze was all about that gritty, yet oddly cozy atmosphere. Here’s how to set the scene:

1. Low Lighting and Neon Signs 💡

Forget bright overhead lights – we’re going for mood here. Use string lights, candles, or even some neon signs to create a dim, inviting space. Bonus points if you can find a retro “open” sign or something equally as cool to hang up.

2. Mismatched Furniture and Vintage Finds 🛋️

Part of the indie sleaze charm was that nothing matched – and that was the point. Mix and match your furniture, throw some vintage blankets over the couches, and add a few old-school posters to the walls. The more eclectic, the better.

3. Polaroids Everywhere 📸

Polaroid cameras were practically the symbol of the indie sleaze era. Hang up a string of Polaroid photos from past parties or create a DIY photo booth with a Polaroid camera for guests to snap their own pics throughout the night. Instant memories = instant vibes.

Step 2: The Perfect Indie Sleaze Playlist 🎶

The music was the heartbeat of any indie sleaze party, so we’ve got to get the playlist just right. Here are the nostalgic hits that will transport you straight back to the good ol’ days:

1. “Kids” by MGMT 👶

An absolute must. This song was the anthem of every indie sleaze party, and the moment that iconic synth line kicks in, everyone’s going to lose it.

2. “Electric Feel” by MGMT ⚡

Yes, another MGMT track, because no indie sleaze playlist is complete without it. The groovy beats and psychedelic vibes are perfect for getting everyone on the dance floor.

3. “Heads Will Roll (A-Trak Remix)” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs 🎧

This track is pure energy. It’s impossible not to dance when this song comes on, and it’s a certified indie sleaze classic.

4. “Paper Planes” by M.I.A. 💸

Catchy, rebellious, and oh-so-iconic. This track is all about that indie edge, and the beat drop? Legendary.

5. “Lisztomania” by Phoenix 🔥

An instant mood-lifter. This song’s upbeat tempo and catchy chorus make it a playlist essential. It’s all about those carefree, summer-night vibes.

6. “1901” by Phoenix 🇫🇷

Another Phoenix track because, let’s be real, they were the soundtrack of the indie sleaze era. The guitar riffs, the vibe – everything about this song screams nostalgia.

7. “Dance Yrself Clean” by LCD Soundsystem 🕺

If you’re going for a late-night, almost euphoric dance vibe, this is the track to put on. The build-up is everything, and when the beat finally drops, it’s like a whole new level of party.

8. “Fluorescent Adolescent” by Arctic Monkeys 🌆

This song is the perfect mix of cheeky and cool, capturing that effortless indie sleaze vibe. It’s great for singing along at the top of your lungs.

9. “Time to Pretend” by MGMT (yes, again!) ⏳

Because let’s face it, MGMT dominated the indie sleaze scene, and this track is all about living in the moment – exactly what we’re going for.

Step 3: The Outfits – Effortlessly Cool 👗

Now that we’ve got the scene and the music covered, let’s talk outfits. The key to indie sleaze fashion is looking like you just threw something together and still managed to be the coolest person in the room. Here’s how to nail the look:

1. Vintage Band Tees 🎸

Nothing says indie like a worn-out band tee. Bonus points if it’s a band that no one’s ever heard of. Pair it with ripped skinny jeans or a mini skirt, and you’re golden.

2. Layer It Up 🧥

Layers were everything in the indie sleaze days. Think flannels over tees, leather jackets over dresses, or cardigans draped over anything. The more mismatched, the better.

3. Grungy Hair and Makeup 💄

Messy hair is a must – think loose waves, undone updos, or just letting it do its thing. For makeup, go for smudgy eyeliner, a bold lip, and don’t be afraid to add a bit of glitter. It’s all about that “I just rolled out of bed and still look amazing” vibe.

4. Statement Accessories 🕶️

Whether it’s oversized sunglasses, chunky jewelry, or a fedora (yes, fedoras were a thing), accessories are key to pulling the whole look together. Go big or go home!

Step 4: The Drinks – Keep It Classic 🍻

No indie sleaze party is complete without some classic, no-fuss drinks. Here’s what to have on hand:

1. Cheap Beer 🍺

It doesn’t have to be fancy – indie sleaze was all about keeping it real. Stock up on your favorite cheap beer, and you’re good to go.

2. Vodka Cranberry 🍒

Simple, tasty, and easy to make. Plus, it’s got that throwback vibe we’re all about.

3. Whiskey on the Rocks 🥃

For the indie purists. It’s strong, straightforward, and adds a bit of edge to the party.

Final Thoughts, Babe: Let’s Make This Nostalgia Night One to Remember!

So there you have it – everything you need to recreate the ultimate indie sleaze house party vibe. From setting the scene and curating the perfect playlist, to nailing your outfit and stocking up on drinks, this is going to be a night that takes you straight back to the golden days of grunge glamour and effortlessly cool chaos.

Whether you’re planning this for your crew or just want to relive the nostalgia on your own, the key is to have fun, let loose, and embrace the carefree spirit of the indie sleaze era. It’s not about perfection – it’s about the memories, the music, and the moments that make you feel alive.

Are you ready to host the ultimate Nostalgia Night, or do you have some indie sleaze memories you’re dying to share? Let’s chat in the comments – I’m all ears, babe! 💕

[more-sonorous]

I don't know if you're still on your car ride, but if you are, I have two questions.

1. Would you rank the songs from liveries?

2. Would you rank the Newsies characters? (Not all of them nessacarily.)

Have a good time!

1. yes— here is my official livesies song ranking (without the millions of reprises):

1) Once And For All- 10/10 no notes, goosebumps, chills every time. If this song doesn’t make you cry it’s been staged wrong (glances at uksies)

2) Carrying the Banner- certified banger. need I say more? iconic, show stopping, jaw dropping way to open a show.

3) Watch What Happens Reprise- some of the best harmonies in the show + my Davey soft spot is showing

4) Brooklyn’s Here- NOW THEM SUCKERS IS IN FOR A SOAKIN!! WHAT A SAD WAY TO END A CAREER.

5) Santa Fe— actually sang this for a genderbent cabaret at my college this semester 🤭

6) King Of New York- earworm, can’t get it out of my head

7) Seize the Day- Only this high bc of Davey’s solo I fear (it’s also a banger power anthem hype song and the HARMONIES UGH DONT GET ME STARTED)

8) The World Will Know— Jack Kelly goes feral and I’m HERE for it!!

9) Santa Fe (prologue)- sweet cute precious little number

10) The Bottom Line- yes it made my top ten, NO I AM NOT ASHAMED. the harmonies make me giggle and kick my feet every time guys I LOVE TIGHT HARMONIES.

11) That’s Rich- Banger but just not banging enough to make my top 10

12) Letter From The Refuge- darling boy 🙏 always a tearjerker

13) Watch What Happens- this song can be… so annoying. it has to be done right. I have seen SO many annoying Katherine’s do it. but it can also be so beautiful and lovely and empowering

14) Something To Believe In- good melody, strong solos, I hate the harmonies when they sing together at the end. In short, could be better if it finished stronger, yawning, next

15) Finale- salty about the davey erasure, plus I don’t know if I vibe with the mashup of previous songs for the finale?? Can’t decide if I would’ve enjoyed a new original banger for the finale or just something less jatherine centric. like let ALL of the boys celebrate the whole time

16) I Never Planned On You/Don’t Come A-Knocking- my friend and I wrote a third part for Davey and now I can’t enjoy the song without it happening at the same time… Jack’s part is lovely but the BBeauties part pisses me off so I can’t in good conscience rank this high

17) The Bottom Line (reprise)- listen I know it’s short but I had to put it on here because ‘like the pied piper you knew what to play’ serves every god damn time

2. I actually don’t think I could do this, because I love so many of them and those that I don’t love I just don’t know anything about?

the ranking would just be davey stealing #1 and everyone else fighting for the death over #2 I fear

as always thank you for the ask my friend <3