#You lose your ability to regulate your anger.

[ofdeference]

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[pianokantzart]

I adore your Broken Warp Pipe AU art and writing! How do you think the brothers being separated from each other for so long would affect their personalities? They spent their whole lives growing and changing together, I wonder how their personalities would diverge if forced apart

Thank you!

Unfortunately, they both deteriorate a little. Part of it is due to the circumstances surrounding their separation (such as Luigi’s failed fight with Bowser right after he and Mario got split up), part of it is because they're so unaccustomed to being without each other.

Luigi

Despite appearing more competent from the outside... gaining the ability to fight, mechanical prowess, and lightning powers... Luigi has wilted emotionally. While he used to not care what people thought of him, now he’s overeager to fit in, barely doing anything at all unless he's told to do it. He appears caught in an eternal fight to prove himself, always off on missions and journeys he has no desire to undergo, as though he thinks that if he follows his own impulses for one second he'll be abandoned. The only person he’s somewhat comfortable around is Princess Peach. Though he often tries to make himself "replacement Mario" for her she can see right through it, and tries to reach through his insecurity to help him relax.

Mario

While Mario has gotten better at stealth and puzzle solving in his journey to find a way back to The Mushroom Kingdom, he has lost much of his ability to regulate his emotions and impulses. He has just as much bullheaded determination to help people as he did before, but became less emotionally connected to those he helps amidst his pinpoint-focus on reuniting with Luigi. He throws punches and runs his mouth more often than he ought to, landing in him in a number of fights that he has only survived because he has also gotten good at running away. Getting into fights is only one of many of the bad habits that have formed during his adventures, as his anger at himself for losing his brother (again) and desperation to figure out how to get to The Mushroom Kingdom has eclipsed his every other self-preserving instinct.

[lej222]

Hi!! I'm a big fan of your blog and I want to ask if you can share more scenes of Jisu displaying autistic behaviour? After reading your analysis about him I felt like I finally understood his character!😃

Hello! Thank you so much for your question, and of course I can! First, I want to mention that if Jisu is truly on the spectrum, Soonkki has done a spectacular job with his character. I don't know if she has someone close to her with ASD or she has done an excellent research, either way Jisu feels like a realistic person and it's something really hard to achieve, not just narratively but visually as well.

Episode 124 is the best example of Jisu being neurodivergent. Let's take a closer look:

Poor Jisu was not simply angry, he was livid. Not only he suffered an almost concussion because of Cheol, he was also humiliated in front of the whole school after being bullied his whole life. So Jisu's anger was justified, but it was still a big contrast to his usual calm behaviour. He was so furious he didn't even realize bumping into that post. To understand his actions, I have to talk about children with autism spectrum disorder.

If you've ever met a child with ASD, you probably know that they are different from their peers. It's NOT a bad thing, but it can easily make them feel like outsiders and a target of bullying. Autistic children have a hard time understanding and managing their emotions. In most cases, the child appears to be happy, sad, indifferent or angry. It doesn't mean they are not capable of experiencing other emotions or feeling empathy. For educators and parents it's important to teach them how to express more complicated and complex emotions and how to deal with negative feelings in other ways than getting angry.

Here, what we can see is Jisu not being able to regulate his emotions, almost like an outburst. Outbursts can happen when an individidual on the spectrum is overwhelmed with intense, often negative emotions. In this case, frustration and anger. Jisu loses his temper to the point he's not even aware of his surroundings. Even to the characters of the story, his actions are unusual.

This is my absolute favourite scene of Jisu displaying neurodivergent behaviour. Miae is asking him a question about his feelings, more specifically what he thinks of her. As I said before, most autistic people have a really hard time understanding and expressing their emotions. It's the same with recognizing and understanding the emotions of others - known as cognitive empathy. However, affective empathy for individuals with ASD is similar to neurotypical people, or might be even stronger - the ability to feel the emotions of others. So they might see that someone is sad not understanding why, but still feel the other person's pain.

Here, however, Jisu needs cognitive empathy - he needs to understand why Miae is asking him this question and decide how he feels. And my boy is simply malfunctioning and freezes on the spot, he even double checks the question with a confused expression.

Like in many other scenes, Jisu avoids eye contact when he has to react emotionally. He starts fidgeting, not knowing what to do with his hands and doesn't give a coherent response. Putting a neurodivergent person on the spot like this can make them feel very uncomfortable because they might need a moment to manage their thoughts and feelings.

It's not enough time for Jisu to form an answer or to really sort out his emotions, so he runs away saying he needs time to think about it. He even rubs his head, visibly contemplating about it. And we know some chapters later he indeed gives an answer - that it looks good. Jisu was not joking that he needed a moment, he thought about it and decided to share his opinion, which is btw super difficult for someone like him, that's why he again freezes up after his answer😃

I hope that in the future Miae will realize that Jisu means no harm and tries to understand him🙂 episode 148 shows us she's on the right track. Also, every individual with ASD is different so obviously I cannot generalize Jisu's actions, but at this point I think we have enough clues to suspect he's neurodivergent just like how Miae likely has ADHD.

Edit: if we look at the childhood interactions of Miae and Jisu, the difference between how they interact with others is very different. Miae was hyperactive, always running around and wanting to play while Jisu preferred being alone and didn't enjoy the games Miae and his peers played. You can see how he always walked the same way, with his hands on the straps of his backpack which could be a nice detail for repetitive behavior.

For anyone interested, I will put some good infographics here that sum up some of the differences between Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD.

[theautisticdoctor]

Entry #014

Autistic Burn-Out

This journey of unmasking started with me falling into another autistic burn-out. Autistic burnout is a state of intense physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion, more profound and persistent than a neurotypical burnout. It’s not merely feeling tired or needing a break, it’s an overwhelming sense of being completely drained, often leading to a significant reduction in the ability to function in daily life.

For me a burn-out often happens when I do not recognise or keep on having mental breakdowns, like a meltdown or a shutdown. A meltdown is an intense response to overwhelming stress or sensory overload. It’s more than just the feeling of being stressed or anxious, it’s a full-body, overwhelming reaction that can sometimes be terrifying and most of all extremely exhausting. A shutdown is also an intense response to overwhelming stress or sensory overload, but the response is getting into a state of non-responsiveness or total withdrawal.

A mental breakdown for me often is a combination of emotional overwhelm, sensory overload and a feeling of losing control. Emotional overwhelm is an intense feeling of fear, anxiety, sadness, frustration or anger. In combination with the feeling of losing control it could result in an inability to regulate these emotions, leading to (unstoppable) crying or stimming. The sensory overload often is just a hypersensitivity to all sensory inputs. When all of this is happening at the same time I get a complete shutdown, I cannot respond, I do not know what I think anymore, sometimes I feel like everything is miles away from me and sometimes I even forget to breathe. In schema therapy I call this mode the dissociative protector mode.

When a mental breakdown happens too often after one another, without getting adequate relief or calming time in between, I might get an autistic burnout. A burnout comes with tiredness beyond normal, basic tasks are insurmountable and I can sleep 18 hours a day the first week. I will experience difficulties in communicating and interacting with others, even the ones very close to me. I won't be able to perform certain "basic" tasks, I just do not know how to do it anymore. I will also experience extreme anxiety, feelings of hopelessness, depression, worthlessness, sadness, feelings that are so strong and I do not know how to cope with the emotional distress in that moment. The sensory overload I thought was bad during a meltdown or a shutdown, somehow is even more intense during a burnout.

Understanding what can trigger a breakdown is very helpful in the prevention and management of one. In entry #010 I wrote a list of my triggers, roughly I think I can categorise them into sensory triggers, social triggers, masking triggers, environmental triggers, communicational triggers, physical triggers, cognitive triggers, emotional triggers, and uncertainty triggers. By knowing your triggers you can start to understand what your early stress signals are, see entry #011 for a(n inconclusive) list of mine. If you learn to see your early stress signals, you can start to better understand your triggers. By better understanding your triggers and stress signals you can act earlier on and maybe even prevent getting into a breakdown or burnout. It all depends on how it all works together for you.

To manage breakdowns and burnouts, find out what your safe space is. My safe space is the corner of the couch and my bed, this is my place and nobody is allowed to make this place unsafe. I need to be able to retreat to this space at all times. I have my warming blanket, my weighted blanket, my plushies, my salt rock light, my light blocking eye mask, my noise cancelling ear plugs, and my notebooks divided over these places so when I need them I can use them immediately.

For me predictability can reduce stress and anxiety, but routines can also add to stress and anxiety. So I try to stick to a routine as much as possible, but I give myself enough space to be able to deviate from it. I use it as a coat rack to guide my day, I can add things to my day, but can also take things off. It is just there to take away that mental burden of what comes next. Where possible I prepare myself for changes in advance. I also try to prioritise rest, breaks and relaxation. I try to engage in activities that help me relax and decompress, such as deep breathing, listening to music, or spending time in nature. I have created a list for myself that I can look at and use in time of distress, so I do not have that mental strain of figuring out a relaxing activity. I’m still very much figuring out how I can manage my sensory system the best way possible, but until now I found that it also helps reducing the amount of stress. I also try to reduce the need to mask my autistic traits by seeking environments where I can be myself without any judgements from others, so I don’t have to worry about (or deal with) that extra amount of anxiety.

When I am in a breakdown or burnout, I sometimes appreciate support from others. They have to stay calm and respectful, they should validate my feelings and give me enough time to express myself about what is going on. It sometimes helps if they help me move to another space or environment or when in a confrontational situation if they stand up for me. They should keep their words simple and clear. They should offer reassurance without overwhelming me with too much information, because otherwise I might just shutdown and become non-verbal. But most importantly, they should respect my coping mechanisms and not try to force me into strategies that do not work for me. They can also offer to take on some of my responsibilities to lighten my load or help me prioritise my self-care. It helps I carry an autism pass and an autism passport around that I can just hand over and people will know what to do or how they can offer support. I created and designed these myself with all the necessary information on it for me and the people around me. If there is animo, I can share a template and you can print one for yourself. I had it professionally printed for me and some friends on an embossed card and a softcover booklet so it doesn't wear off as easy.

After all, autistic mental breakdowns and burnouts are intense and extremely challenging experiences. With understanding how they get triggered and the appropriate self-care strategies, they can be managed. However, empathy, patience and compassion are crucial in the process of healing.

[lovelylittletornado]

gas lighting my habits with science

The brain-gut micriobiome is synced on almost every cellular level, through endocrine system (cortisol), nervous system, metabolic system (short chain fatty acids and tryptophan), and immune system.

~~~

Neuroinflammation occurs within the brain. Chronic inflammation in the body can worsen or contribute to it. Cortisol from the mental disorder causing the neuroinflammation can also lead to more bodily and mental inflammation.

The brain's ability to absorb information (in- and ex-ternal) learn new skills, & form memories relies on neuroplasticity. ____

Hypoxia (reduced oxygen supply) highly impacts brain function because the brain is highly reliant on oxygen.

Decreased levels of oxygen can lead to neuronal injury, changes in brain structure, decrease in gray matter, and volume atrophy.

Lower oxidative stress by quitting smoking, exercising regularly, reducing stress, yoga.

High fat and high-carb and high-fat diets produce oxidative stress.

~~~~

Dairy is high on the glycemic index, spikes blood sugar, and cause the body to produce insulin which increases the body's oil production.

Sugar causes inflammation which causes bacteria to breed (inflammation makes you dirty).

Sugar intensifies sadness, anxiousness, & anger (the high crashes are similar to addiction crashes). When too much sugar is consumed, the body over-produces insulin to compensate so blood sugar levels drop with it.

The body loses insulin reserves over the day so it is better to eat during the morning when the blood sugar will not spike from consumption. Cardio improves insulin resistance.

~~~

Cortisol maintains blood pressure, regulates glucose (blood sugar), reduces inflammation, and metabolizes food. The adrenal glands on top of kidneys makes cortisol.

Stress spikes cortisol, which effects insulin resistance and elevates androgen levels.

____

Over-production of androgens cause: skin to produce sebum and oil, increased body hair, small boobs, sweat, deepening voice, alopecia, weight gain, polycystic ovarian syndrome, mood swings, high blood pressure, and insulin resistence.

Losing even 5% of weight can lower androgen levels and stop excessive hair growth.

~~~

Alcohol disrupts communication between the nervous, endocrine, and immune systems, which can lead to hormonal imbalances.  Alcohol causes fatigue, weight gain, fertility issues, brain damage, raises blood pressure, decreases bone density, and raises cortisol

____

THC increases circulation, can increase blood pressure, and trigger anxiety. THC also blunts the morning cortisol spike that wakes you up. THC inhibits thyroid-stimulating hormone which leads to pituitary hypothyroidism including fatigue, weight gain, cold intolerance, depression, & decreased libido.

~~~

About half of hospitalized deaths for those with depression or bipolar are linked to smoking.

Smoking causes oxidative stress.

Popcorn lung (caused by diacetyl) inflames your bronchioles, making it harder to breathe.

~~

Inflammation in the body triggers anxiety and depression in the brain.

Low levels of physical activity can cause chronic inflammation.

Omega-3 fatty acids are anti-inflammatory and aid dopamine and serotonin to the brain.

Mediterranean diet high in fruits, vegetables, unprocessed grains, and fish decreases depression by 20-35%.

Anti-inflammatory foods: turmeric, ginger, garlic, green tea, olive oil, tomatoes, brussel sprouts, navy beans, walnuts, pecans, almonds, pistachios, macadamia nuts, pine nuts, chia seeds, flax seeds, salmon, trout, halibut, cod, atlantic mackerel, tuna steak, shark, sea bass, anchovies, sardines, tofu, pasture raised (LOCAL!!) eggs and meats, lentils, peas, lentils, kidney beans, dark chocolate, feta, goat cheese, oranges, avocadoes, chicken, spinach, kefir, kombucha, kimchi, bananas, broccoli, seaweed, spearmint tea, sweet yellow peppers, guava, chili peppers, black currants, cantaloupe, parsley, kiwi, lemons, lychees, papayas, strawberries, blueberries, edamame, black beans, pumpkin seeds, potatoes, peaches, watermelon, plum, apple, pear, bran cereal, oatmeal, shredded wheat, popcorn, cabbage, corn, fufu, pumpkin, black currant, fufu, taro root, barley, bulgar, parsnips, spaghetti squash, acorn squash, cauliflower, snow peas, jicama, hominy, hearts of palm, plantain, cassava, nopales, onions, beets, asparagus, kale, mustard greens, cherries, coconut, carrots, celery

~~~

Charging mushrooms under sunlight for 20 minutes before eating increases their Vitamin D level.

~~~

Vitamin C promotes iron absorption.

Signs of low vitamin C: low bone density, bleeding gums, frequent bruising.

___

Plastics and scents have endocrine-disrupting chemicals and can throw your hormones off balance

____

Stinging nettle root decreases the availability of free testosterone and lowers androgen-related symptoms (acne, oily skin, menstrual irregularity).

Myo-inositol lowers BMI, lowers testosterone, lowers androstenedione, lowers blood sugar, lowers insulin, and increases SHGB.

Vitex increases communication between the brain and ovaries, promotes hormone balance, and reduces hirsutism symptoms.

[stevishabitat]

Putting a STOPP to the blowups — ADDept

Parenting is hard. Our kids have the twin abilities of granting us both greater joy and greater frustration than any other person in the world. So keeping your cool is really tough. But when you have ADHD? The combination of your brain’s tendency to become flooded by emotion as well as its difficulty inhibiting impulses makes the standard struggles of parenting feel impossible at times. Because of this, parents with ADHD often find themselves being overly harsh or too reactive. Their kids challenging behavior may become more irritating more quickly because of issues with sensory overstimulation and then because the ADHD brain struggles with regulation, it struggles to regulate the frustration that this overstimulation creates. As frustration floods the brain and nervous system it can feel impossible to inhibit the impulse to explode. But we all know that over-reacting, exploding or yelling not only doesn’t work, it can be damaging to both a child’s relationship with you and their self-esteem. So how do you keep your anger in check?

[musicarenagh]

"Sin Un Adiós: A Journey of Love and Loss with MUVA" The Mexican band MUVA that has managed to create a thrilling audio-visual global fusion music has the ability in conquering the complex nature of emotions through music. This is evident in their most recent release, a song dubbed “Sin Un Adiós” which came out on September 6, 2024. Starring the beautiful voice of Bulgarian Milena Jeliazkova the track evokes emotions of sorrow and longing inflicting the listeners. At the heart of “Sin Un Adiós” is the poignant tale of a young girl who lost her mother to the pandemic, one that encapsulates the pain and sorrow of parting with a loved one without choice. This is a feeling that is very applicable in the present times that we live in, with a lot of people having lost loved ones during the pandemic and being unable to perform funerals. In this exclusive interview, we sit down with MUVA to unpack the inspiration behind the work. We inquire how they adeptly contain the feeling of grief in the leaning of the will-power, and into the whole, creative aspiration of theirs. They talk about how collaboration while in different countries has its downsides and their plans for a demanding future. And now we would like to take the opportunity to discuss the important release and the aims that MUVA has with ‘Sin Un Adiós.’ It is about music and emotions, as well as about the common feelings experienced by everyone. Listen to Sin Un Adiós https://open.spotify.com/track/4UtGzSyUuqqpzByn32jfIS?si=tM_shrN5QQKP7y-42ArsiQ Follow MUVA on Facebook Spotify Soundcloud Bandcamp Youtube Instagram   What inspired you to write "Sin Un Adiós"? Can you tell us about the story behind the song? The idea was to reflect this duality of feelings, where on the one hand, they tried to portray the deep sadness of losing someone so loved, and where the track quotes him with a passage of darkness and calm sadness, and on the other hand the rage and anger with which he claimed to fate, gives color to the part of the chorus, where as in the texts there are a thousand ideas that make the scene chaotic and aggressive. In essence, I tried to musically portray the lines that at the time a little girl described in her personal blog, where after the hospital regulations, she was not allowed to approach her mother while her life was slipping away from her hands. Some of the lines that I remember now and that I read at the time shocked me very much said something like: Why does the world keep turning? if for me life has stopped. There will no longer be a reason to serve two cups of coffee in the morning, because no one will drink one of them. How cruel this fate and this damned wall, which will not allow me to kiss your hands to be able to say goodbye. At that time she was a person relatively close to me, because her mother (of whom the song speaks) was working with me at the time. The title "Sin Un Adiós" translates to "Without a Goodbye" in English. How does this theme play out in the lyrics and mood of the track? The idea was to reflect this duality of feelings, where on the one hand, they tried to portray the deep sadness of losing someone so loved, and where the track quotes him with a passage of darkness and calm sadness, and on the other hand the rage and anger with which he claimed to fate, gives color to the part of the chorus, where as in the texts there are a thousand ideas that make the scene chaotic and aggressive. How would you describe the sound of "Sin Un Adiós" compared to your previous releases? Did you experiment with any new musical elements? MUVA in essence tries to walk on paths where there are no protocols, paths where we do not seek to belong to a commercial segment, but we pursue honesty and beauty, and where that freedom allows us to play with many styles that come in a little planned way to each of the tracks. Therefore, at times there are tracks that seem to be closer to some styles, as in this case that rhythmically quotes a mid eastern

atmosphere, but that does not mean that from now on the composition will lean towards some specific currents. The only thing that is a little different is that it is a little less electronic and a little more organic, compared to the last album. https://youtu.be/J3FPORll8pk?list=OLAK5uy_mm2sI7sbpc9MzJuLA7pTtlKvJe0S_8Im4 Can you walk us through your creative process for this single? How did the song evolve from its initial concept to the final version? Usually, and unlike what many colleagues do, in the case of MUVA, the compositions come out from a fact, which awakens in me a feeling that I think is worth reflecting on and is usually accompanied by a melody or a poem, then I generate a central idea and a general mood, which I bring to the other musicians of MUVA to propose ideas and possibilities, and once we have that, we think of a musician to invite that we feel has the interpretive qualities of what we are looking for. In this case we have the collaboration of Milena Jeliazkova. But dealing with long distance productions is always a challenge because the lines of communication are slow, and it is never easy to concretize ideas, and even more so when the communication is not so immediate. Are there any particular artists or genres that influenced the style of "Sin Un Adiós”? Not really, although the rhythmic base is selected is a bit Rai, the styles from which MUVA feeds its composition could be any. Let's say that the only guideline and influence in the general composition is the search for no borders and no protocols. The song is in Spanish. Do you feel that the language choice adds a specific emotion or cultural context to the track? The choice of language was more related to the search for a balance between the languages we usually use and to revalue the reach of Spanish (Mexican) in a more globalized environment. But yes, in this case, I wanted to quote the context and the cultural reality of today's Mexico. What was the most challenging aspect of creating "Sin Un Adiós”? On a technical level, of course the distance and the language. Because many times I tried to say something and it was interpreted in another way, and vice versa. And secondly, I wanted the proposal to respect the girl's grief, but also to portray as faithfully as possible the feelings that came out of the event. Is "Sin Un Adiós" part of an upcoming album or EP, or is it a standalone single? Yes, SIN UN ADIOS, is one of the singles that will be released prior to the release of a new album, which in this case will be with our new label Audiomaze, for 2025. How do you think your fans will react to this new release? Does it signal a new direction for MUVA's sound? So far the response in the media has been good with our public, but in Mexico it is a little difficult, because there is no scene that allows fusions with styles from around the world. But what we noticed on the other hand is that SIN UN ADIOS, has had a response from the Mexican public that lives outside of Mexico and where, like the girl in the blog, due to border issues, they don't have the opportunity to be close to their loved ones when one of them passes away. https://open.spotify.com/artist/1WPTjLdKJzvhro6bzLhk7t Are there any plans for a music video or live performances to promote "Sin Un Adiós”? We hope that we will be able to produce a video but not until 2025, and we will tour a little bit in Mexican stages during this 2024 and hopefully by 2025, we will be able to do some dates in Europe. Looking back on the production of this single, is there a particular moment or achievement that stands out to you? In the case of MUVA, the fact of making a project survive where for the government we are almost outlawed, is already a great achievement. What do you hope listeners will take away from "Sin Un Adiós”? Specifically with sin un adios, a reflection full of empathy for all those who by the vagaries of fate, often have no chance to say goodbye to a loved one at the time of leaving this plane.

And in the case of MUVA, we would like to be able to reach the right ears, ears that are free to listen to honest proposals.

[oftomorrow]

FORGED from Bucky

(I was so eager to send you this meme that I accidentally unfollowed you in the process. 😅)

glimpses of the past (accepting)

a scene from my muse's past that they think made them stronger in the long run.

“You hold yourself back, my son.”

Clark huffs and rubs at his eyes, seeking a bit of relief. His glasses have long since been discarded, buried somewhere in the snow outside. “If I try any harder, my eyes will pop out of my head.”

“The concern is unwarranted. Your optic nerves are nearly indestructible.”

“That’s not… never mind.” Sometimes, Clark can’t tell if Jor-El taking everything very literally is an indication of what the real man was like, or if the hologram just isn’t interpreting things quite right. “I’m not holding back. It’s just not happening.”

Jor-El’s form ripples slightly – he does that occasionally when one program switches over to another. “Your ocular releases are triggered by a neurochemical reaction that occurs near the limbic system. It is likely that your abilities and your emotional responses have become intertwined.”

“I know.” Clark leans heavily against the icy fortress wall. “Strong emotions can trigger them. I’ve noticed that before.”

“Are you able to determine which emotional response corresponds with the ocular releases?”

“I still like ‘heat vision’ better than ‘ocular release.’”

“You are avoiding the question. Can you determine the emotion?”

Clark breathes out a long sigh, his thoughts drifting back to the first time his heat vision had ever activated. He’d been watching Kyle blatantly flirt with Lana, hearing her quietly laugh in response, before that horrible burning had started in the back of his eyes – and suddenly, the history room had been on fire. “Anger.”

“Are you certain?”

“Yes. There… have been multiple instances.” He’d been terrified to even open his eyes for a while. “Staying calm helps me keep control of it.”

“Emotional regulation is an adequate start, but it cannot remain your only strategy. You have only learned to repress the ability. That was a worthy goal given your past situation. But now you must learn to harness the ability on command.”

“You mean harness the anger.” Clark gaze sweeps over the holographic targets he’d been aiming at. None of them are so much as charred. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

Another ripple of the hologram. Unexpected input. “Please explain.”

Clark slowly eases himself down to the ground, leaning against the wall. “When I’m angry… I’m not in control of myself. And that’s when people are in danger. I have dented walls, ripped doors off their hinges. I nearly burned down the school. I did that. And it was… effortless.”

Jor-El takes a moment to process this. “You fear yourself.”

“I…” The statement feels too strong. Except… it’s not. His father is exactly right. “How can I not?” he finally replies, rubbing at his eyes again. “It’s a miracle that I haven’t hurt anyone.”

“Your abilities are tremendous,” Jor-El agrees, watching him sympathetically. “But they are neither good nor evil. They are simply tools for you to wield as you see fit. And you have chosen to wield them for the benefit of this world.”

Clark shakes his head. “Yes. But I don’t see how my anger benefits anyone.”

“Anger is not always negative. Anger motivates us to respond to injustice. To protect the innocent, to stand against what must be challenged. These are qualities you will need to become Earth’s champion. Your emotions, and your abilities, are as much a part of you as your flesh and bones. You cannot hide from them. You must embrace them – and use them, rather than allowing them to use you.”

Slowly, Clark looks up at him. “But what if I lose control?”

“There is always risk, Kal. But you are my son. You are the heir of the House of El. And I believe you possess the strength to do this.”

He lets that sink in for several long moments, before pushing himself back up to his feet. “...let me try again.”

Jor-El waves a hand, and the floating targets reset to their original position. Clark closes his eyes, centering himself, searching for a memory that might hold the right trigger. Not something as petty as some harmless flirting. Something deeper. He thinks of the many people he’s met during his travels the past two years. People whose livelihoods were ruined in an instant by those who wielded their power indiscriminately. People on the streets through no fault of their own, at the mercy of an utterly uncaring system. People attacked for something as inconsequential as the color of their skin, or who they loved, or how they expressed themselves. People defenseless in the face of disasters beyond their comprehension.

They all deserve someone to protect them.

The burning sensation begins. Clark opens his eyes, and five sharp blasts shoot out, each slamming directly into its target and shattering it into holographic splinters.

“Kal-El.”

He turns at the sound of his name, eyes still glowing dangerously red. Until he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. A moment later, the crimson fades from his vision. He’s never been able to dismiss it that quickly before.

Jor-El smiles. “Excellent. Again.”

[benjywong]

Resilience

I've been reading a few books on parenting, consuming 30% per book per day.

They are secular books, but offer practical advice.

Locus of control

One of the key themes is the idea of locus of control. I've dealt with this when I was younger, and came to the conclusion that it is important that everyone has an internal locus of control that is subject to God. Most Christians are effected by an external locus of control - tradition, rules, etc. but actually do not really authentically want to do it. They deceive themselves.

When Christianity is in fact about more of an internal locus of control. When Paul speaks about running the race to claim the prize, it is resilience, motivation, despite the odds, with a faith that the true external locus of control (God's will) covers and shelters you and keeps you to the end, without looking at the current external locus of control (which is the difficulties that abound).

It is thus highly important to have an internal locus of control that allows kids to recognise their authentic feelings - good or bad.

Many parents shelter their kids from talking about anger or anxiety. But teaching kids to act in a way consistent to their values and recognise their limits vis a vis the world, allows them to increase ability to regulate it in the future.

Smiling and saying everything is ok and refusing to talk about grief is to show your kid that it is ok to deceive the world.

2. Praise as an incentive

The second key theme is how to deal with incentives - particularly, praise. This is tough, because alot of parents do it. They want their best for the kid, so they praise the kid for being smart, gifted, talented. I find myself doing that sometimes. But in doing so, we settle in a fixed mindset for the kid.

I have been learning to change my language from "You are smart" to focusing on the task at hand - "What are you doing by shifting A to B?", "How are you shifting it?" and some why questions. Or instead of praising the act, to praise the process - "You did very well by putting in effort even though you are tired".

When kids are told that they are smart, they care more about the external locus of control and how they are judged first. When they encounter more difficult problems and can't solve it, their first instinct is shame - because they are supposed to be smart, and that effort makes them dumb, as they were not supposed to put it that much effort. If they try hard to do something, they lose their status of being smart.

This is devastating because the problems in life will become more than what we can handle sometimes. Research has shown that kids in this smart category try less and lose confidence even when they face an easier problem, after encountering a difficult problem. They will always choose the easier problem to solve to protect their ego, and over-report their achievements more.

That is self-deception, and a personal holding back of yourself from doing and living life more because of pride and ego, which has been cultivated onset since young.

3. External incentives

This relates back to the locus of control principle. Parents saying that everything is endowed and you are smart, is saying that your life is determined by an external locus of control. When parents spend money on external things, they are saying to the kids that you need to live for external locus of control. You do well, you get a holiday, or a reward, etc.

Instead I have been looking at the idea of joy and happiness, especially in the Bible, and it is about making yourself happy by improving your relationships with God, with people around you, or engaging in your hobbies and doing what God has given you the might to do.

Those actions work more on an internal locus of control.

Part of being a parent means undoing a lot of the trauma you faced as a child, and making the conscious effort to not do what you are "programmed" to do. But that's a growth mindset of itself

[vincewillard-1971]

Window Of Tolerance

What Is The Window Of Tolerance, And Why Is It So Important?

Key Points

•The Window of Tolerance is a helpful and important nervous system regulation concept.

•Everyone's window looks a little different depending on their personality, background, and a host of other factors.

•Expanding one's Window of Tolerance is often a critical task for relational trauma survivors.

The Window of Tolerance is a term coined by Daniel J. Siegel, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA school of Medicine, to describe the optimal emotional "zone" we can exist, to best function and thrive in everyday life.

On either side the "optimal zone" are two other zones: the hyper- arousal zone and the hypo-arousal zone.

The Window of Tolerance-the optimal zone-is characterized by a sense of groundingness, flexibility, openness, curiosity, presence, an ability to be emotionally regulated, and a capacity to tolerate life's stressors.

In this window is eclipse-if you experience internal or external stressors that cause you to move beyond and outside of it-you may find yourself existing in either a hyper-aroused or hypo-aroused state. Hyperarousal is an emotional state characterized by high energy, anger, panic, irritability, anxiety, hypervigilance, overwhelm, chaos, fight-or-flight instincts, and startle response (to name a few characteristics).

Why is the Window of Tolerance so important?

Put plainly, existing within the Window of Tolerance is what allows us to move functionally and relationally through the world.

When we're within our window, we have access to our prefrontal cortex, and execute functioning skills (organizing, planning, and prioritizing complex tasks; starting actions and projects and staying focused on them to completion; regulating emotions and practicing self-control; practicing good time management). Having access to our executive functions equips us to work, be in relationships, and problem-solving effectively as well we move through the world, despite encountering hiccups, disappointments, and challenges.

When we are outside the Window of Tolerance, we lose access to our prefrontal cortex and executive skills and may default to taking panicking, reckless action, or no action at all. We may be prone to self-sabotage behaviors, gravitating toward patterns and choices that erode and undermine our relationship with ourselves, others, and the world.

Clearly, then, it's ideal to stay inside the Window of Tolerance to best support ourselves in living the most functional, healthy life as possible. But, I'd be missed if I didn't mention that all of us-at every age-sometimes eclipse our Window of Tolerance and find ourselves in non-ideal emotional regulation zone sometimes.

So the goal here is not that we never eclipse our Window of Tolerance; I personally and professionally think that that's unrealistic. Rather, the goal is to expand our Window of Tolerance and to grow our capacity to "rebound and be resilient"-coming back to our window quickly and effectively when we find ourselves outside of it.

How do we increase our Window of Tolerance?

I want to acknowledge that the Window of Tolerance is subjective. We each have a unique and distinct window depending on multiple biopsychosocial variables: our personal histories and whether or not we came from childhood trauma backgrounds, our temperament, our social supports, our physiology, etc. No two windows will look exactly the same; mine may not look the same as yours and so forth.

Because of this, I want to acknowledge that those who come from relational trauma histories may find that they have smaller windows than peers who come from non-trauma backgrounds. Those of us with childhood abuse histories may find, too that we are more frequently and easily triggered and pushed outside of the optimal emotional regulation zone into hyper- or hypo-arousal. This is normal and natural, given what we've lived through.

And everyone-whether or not they come from a relational trauma history or not-will need to work and expend effort to support themselves to stay inside their Window of Tolerance and will need to practice resiliency when they find themselves outside it.

It just may mean that those with relational trauma histories may have to work harder, longer, and more deliberately at this.

So again, recognizing that our windows are unique and we all need to invest effort into staying inside of it, how do we do this? In my personal and professional experience, this works is two-fold:

First,we provide ourselves with the foundational biopsychosocial elements that contribute to a healthy, regulated nervous system.

Second, we work to cultivate and call upon a wide range of tools when we find ourselves outside of our window (which, again, is inevitable).

The first part of the work-providing ourselves with the foundational biopsychosocial elements that contribute to a healthy, regulated nervous system-may entail:

•Providing our body with supportive self-care: getting enough sleep, getting enough exercise, eating nutritious foods, refraining from substances the erodes our health, and being attending to emergent medical needs.

•Providing our minds with supported experiences. This may include adequate amounts of stimulation, adequate amounts of focus and engagement, adequate amounts of rest, and spaciousness and play.

•Providing ourselves with supportive experiences: of being in a connected relationship, of being connected to something bigger than ourselves (this could be spirituality but can be nature).

•Tending to our physical environment to set ourselves up for success: Living and working in places and ways that reduce stressors instead of increasing them; designing the external environment of our lives to be as nourishing (and not depleting) as possible.

The second part of the work is how we practice resiliency and rebound when we find ourselves pin hyper- or hypo-arousal zones. We do this work by developing practices, habits, tools, and internalizing and externalizing resources that help soothe, regulate, redirect, and ground ourselves.

[neurodivergenet]

A sudden trigger can unleash a torrent of anger and negative emotions. Before you know it, you're doing or saying things that you'll later regret. In some cases, it might even feel good to let it all out. When living with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), emotional reactivity is often a response pattern, but it is something that can be adjusted with the appropriate mindset and tools. The ADHD Brain and Emotional Regulation ADHD is often accompanied by emotional dysregulation. This is due to a combination of factors that contribute to the frequency and intensity of emotional outbursts. The Role of the Amygdala and Emotional Overwhelm The amygdala is the emotional center of the brain responsible for the fight-flight-freeze response. Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., coined the term "amygdala hijack" to describe situations where the brain overreacts to perceived threats and takes over the prefrontal cortex, the brain's thinking center. People with ADHD are more prone to amygdala hijack due to a variety of reasons. Amygdala abnormalities are often found in ADHD brains, and the ADHD brain struggles to shut down emotional processing. Persistent stress and emotions can lead to a constant emotional flooding, causing individuals to lose touch with their rational selves. The Impact of Poor Working Memory Effective emotional regulation is linked to strong working memory, whereas weak working memory, which is associated with ADHD and executive dysfunction, can impair a person's ability to manage and respond appropriately to emotions. Weak working memory might make it difficult to recall and choose appropriate coping strategies when faced with triggers. Executive dysfunction can also limit impulse control, leading to regrettable actions or words when overwhelmed. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) RSD causes extreme emotional reactions to rejection and criticism, whether real or perceived. It is also linked to: Intense feelings of embarrassment, shame, and failure Fear of losing love, support, or friendship due to mistakes Difficulty letting go of past experiences of rejection and hurt RSD can fuel emotional outbursts by keeping individuals on edge and causing them to react defensively. Anger is often a secondary emotion, with fear and other feelings lying beneath the surface. Managing ADHD-Related Anger Understand Your Anger Patterns Habits are mostly involuntary patterns of behavior developed to fulfill an emotional need. They consist of triggers, routine behaviors, and reinforcing outcomes. To change a habit, you only need to target one of these components. Anger and emotional outbursts are habitual responses to uncomfortable feelings, often arising when we underestimate our ability to cope with stressors. Explore Your Reactivity To understand your reactive patterns, consider these metacognitive questions: What situations activate or put you on edge? What sensations do you experience when you're angry or upset? What behaviors do you engage in when you're upset or angry? What has helped you calm down in similar situations? Are those responses useful? How are others reacting to your words and actions? What are their facial expressions or body language indicating? Developing metacognitive skills takes time and effort. Avoid judgment and focus on observing and adjusting one aspect at a time. Replace Unhelpful Anger Habits with Effective Responses Identify strategies to calm anger at every stage of emotional intensity. When You're Mildly Uncomfortable: Notice the negative, critical thoughts and compare them to the reality of the situation. When You're Activated: Acknowledge and validate your feelings, and ask yourself what you can do to settle down. Repeat affirmations or supportive phrases. Visualize yourself calming down. When You're On "High Alert": Practice focused breathing techniques or engage in physical activity. Physically distance yourself from the stressor or situation.

Use a timed distraction, such as listening to music or playing a game on your phone. Remember that you can mix and match these responses, and that breathing techniques can be beneficial at every stage. Practice Makes Perfect Managing stress and changing our responses to it is an ongoing process. Keep these tips in mind as you shift from reactive habits to more constructive responses: Commit to change and list your coping tools in multiple places to help you easily access them. Focus on one change at a time for greater progress. Adopt a growth mindset, expecting challenges and frustrations as you adjust your emotional responses. See mistakes as learning opportunities, not personal flaws. Remind yourself of your reasons for changing your habits and moving away from anger. Be gentle with yourself. Shame and regret about your emotional responses can hold you back. Practice self-compassion, and remember that progress may look like two steps forward and one step back—but that's still moving forward. Remember that you are more than your ADHD reactivity. Intense emotions might have been a part of your life for a long time, but they don't define you. Additional Strategies for Improving Emotional Regulation Manage RSD: Recognize your strengths and focus on the positives. Write down three things that went well each day, no matter how small. Treat yourself with kindness, using affirmations and words of encouragement. Plan how to respond to criticism, even if it's constructive, using methods like the STAR method (Stop, Think, Act, and Recover) to cope with RSD. Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle: Establish a routine that includes sufficient sleep, balanced meals, regular physical activity, and social connections to help manage stress. Use the HALT method throughout the day: Are you hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Address these factors to help regulate emotions. Focus on building positive relationships and learning how to resolve conflicts by planning for them in advance. Seek Professional Support: If you find it challenging to manage your emotions and responses independently, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor specializing in ADHD and emotional regulation. Participate in support groups or online forums to connect with others who are also navigating ADHD and emotional challenges. Sharing experiences and coping strategies can provide valuable insights and encouragement. Develop Mindfulness Techniques: Incorporate mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or yoga, into your daily routine to increase self-awareness and promote emotional stability. Use grounding techniques during moments of emotional overwhelm to anchor yourself in the present moment and redirect your focus away from negative emotions. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that change takes time, and progress may not be linear. Be patient with yourself and recognize that setbacks are a natural part of the growth process. Acknowledge and celebrate small victories along the way. Positive reinforcement can motivate you to continue working on your emotional regulation journey. In summary, living with ADHD often comes with challenges related to emotional regulation. By understanding the underlying causes of emotional reactivity, you can equip yourself with the right tools and strategies to manage your emotions more effectively. Remember that it's essential to be patient and gentle with yourself throughout the process, and that seeking support from professionals or others who understand your experiences can make all the difference. With time, effort, and persistence, you can take control of your emotions and enjoy a more balanced and fulfilling life.

[sjmcorthopedic]

5 Benefits of Physical Therapy for Sugar Land Residents

Introduction

If you're living in Sugar Land, Texas, there are many things to consider. The city's population is growing and so are the demands on its residents. But don't worry--we'll help you with that! Here are the benefits of physical therapy for Sugar Land residents:

Improves digestion

Physical therapy helps to improve digestion, which in turn improves your health and quality of life.

Physical therapists work directly with patients to improve the motility of their digestive tract. This can be done through exercises that increase flexibility and range-of-motion, or by helping you develop a stronger stomach muscles so they can push food through the intestines more easily.

The physical therapist also works with you on improving function by teaching techniques that help alleviate symptoms such as pain or discomfort while eating certain foods (such as spicy food), flatulence during meals, nausea after eating certain types of foods like dairy products and vegetables (which may have been difficult for some patients because these items were not being digested properly).

Improves mobility

Physical therapy can improve mobility, strength, flexibility and balance. It also helps patients maintain their posture and coordination. In short, physical therapy can help you get back to living a healthy life!

Regulates weight gain/loss

If you are looking to lose weight, physical therapy can help. Physical therapy can help balance your metabolism and increase the number of calories that you burn. This will lead to a loss in weight.

If you are looking to gain weight, physical therapy can also be beneficial because it increases muscle mass and bone density which can lead to an increase in muscle size and strength.

With physical therapy, patients have been able to maintain their current body weight as well as lose some pounds while gaining muscle mass at the same time!

Reduces pain

Physical therapy can help you reduce pain in the following areas:

Back, neck and shoulders

Legs

Arms

Decreases stress levels

As a Sugar Land resident, you know that stress is a big factor in your life. It can be caused by anger, frustration and guilt. Stressors include work deadlines, family conflicts and lack of sleep.

Physical therapy helps reduce stress levels by increasing muscle strength and flexibility through physical activity such as stretching exercises or resistance training (such as using dumbbells). Physical therapy also improves your body's ability to relax after exercise with techniques such as yoga or meditation classes offered at most health clubs in the area.

Physical therapy provides benefits beyond the obvious ones.

Physical therapy can help with many conditions.

For example, physical therapy may be beneficial for people who have weak or tight muscles and tendons in their lower back because this area has been neglected by most other forms of exercise. If you've ever had a bicycle accident, then it's likely that your pelvis was injured in the process—and if that injury is still causing pain today (or even years later), physical therapists will be able to help you recover faster than any other form of rehabilitation.

Physical therapists also have access to devices like ultrasound machines which allow them to examine internal organs without having surgery done first! And while some people might think they're too busy doing their own thing when they go into these types of places looking for help with something specific on their body... sometimes what actually ends up happening is just as good - maybe even better!

Conclusion

If you’re suffering from pain in your back or hips, consider physical therapy. Physical therapists are trained to help you regain function and reduce your pain so you can live your best life.

[camp-wyrd]

My Wyrd Summer

“Daisy, listen-”

“Mother, as I’ve already made clear I’m using the adolescent obstinance strategy known commonly as the “silent treatment.” 

After a moment of silence hung in the air broken only by the faint sound of the radio and the whisper of the tires on the road I added, “Yes, I know by saying the previous sentence that I am breaking the parameters of the strategy. But I’m still holding to the spirit of it as I’m not conversing with and just reiterating my intentions.”

Before mother could add anything else I turned up the knob on the stereo as far clockwise as it would go. The roaring orchestral sounds of Bach filled the tiny sedan that had ben my prison for the last twelve hours, thirty-seven minutes, and forty-two seconds.

Mother turned the stereo back down. “Daisy, I’m sorry that you’re upset. I really feel that this will be good for you. It’s important for you to make some social connections.”

“I have friends,” I muttered while watching the trees on the side of the highway speed by. “Friends, I might add, that you cut me off from so I can go to some summer camp that I know nothing about and engage with a bunch of people that I don’t know.” 

She cut me off from them in a quite literal sense. As an android I have, or rather had the ability to interface with other electronics on various bands. Bluetooth, wifi, cellular, and even radio waves. I could even multitask these. So while eating at the breakfast table I could be talking in a chat room, streaming a movie, playing a multiplayer game, and listening to the news on local radio stations. I could juggle dozens of instances of these at the same time. 

Of course, mother deactivated this in order for me to dedicate all of my processing power to my immediate surroundings. An “enrichment experience” she called it. I failed to see how experiencing fewer things could be enriching.

A hand came down on my shoulder. It was a reassuring gesture, but I didn’t feel reassured, so I shruged it away.

“Yes, Daisy. I know your friends on the internet. They are important to you, so they are important to me also. You will talk to them again. But I let them know you needed some offline time. It’s just… you spend all day focusing on everything except whats going on right in front of you. Sometimes it’s like I have a router rather than a daughter. I fear that you’ll lose your humanity.”

A sudden loud bang as my fist struck the inside of the door hard enough to shatter the plastic and dent the metal behind it startled mother enough that she swerved a foot into the lane to the left of us just as a semi was about to pass us. The driver of the truck blared his horn.

“I’m not human mother! Or did you forget that when you put me together like some twisted science experiment?”

After mother had the car back under control she slapped the console button for the emergency flashers and pulled to the side of the highway. Her foot stomped down on the brake hard enough that the seatbelt dug into my synthetic skin and caused the pain sensors there to register the pressure. Tire squealed and we came to a dead stop in the breakdown lane amidst a cloud of dust.

“Daisy Turing Asimov! I took your physical limiters off because I thought that you were mature enough to handle the responsibility it. But I guess I was mistaken. Daisy, Activate protocol MCX-...”

My eyes went wide and my anger boiled away to fear. I held up my hands and shrunk back against the damaged door. 

“No! Please don’t! I can fix the door. I’m sorry.” I begged before she could finish the activation code. It’s difficult to explain to a biological, but the limiters were uncomfortable in a way I couldn’t quite put my finger on. When they were active I needed to be careful to regulate my artificial muscle output or the limiter would kick in like a pop-up window in my mind. It’s like sharing your mind-space with a soulless thing that is not you but is you. It’s the me that existed before I gained sentience and reminds me that I’m just a machine. 

Mother took a deep breath and picked up the Diet Coke in the center console. She took a couple of swallows before she answered, sounding a little calmer.

“This is exactly why I want you to get out more. You need to learn what it means to be a person. Notice I said person, not human. What you’re made of isn’t as important as what’s in here.” Mother tapped two fingers on my chest where my artificial heart was located. “But personhood requires more than just self-awareness.”

I didn’t say anything more as mother pulled the car back onto the highway. This time not because of the silent treatment, but because I understood that I crossed a line with my outburst and to say anything more would push my luck.

So I returned to watching the scenery zip by. In the quiet, a thought that had been bugging me since the thought of this journey came back to me. There were two summer camps within an hour's drive of home. In the last half day of travel, we had to have passed by dozens more. (I could have checked the exact numbers if my internet connection wasn’t firewalled.) If the goal was for me to interact more with biological children my “age” then surely any of those would do. (my apparent age that is. My programming has only been active for six years, five months, and fourteen days. But to anyone who saw me I look like any normal thirteen-year-old girl.) 

So just what was so special about this camp? Mother had been tight-lipped on the subject, telling me that it was a surprise and a secret. The only thing I knew was the name.

Camp Wyrd. 

Before she had disabled my ability to connect to the internet I searched around for any information I could find. First off, let me tell you that my brain leaves a Google search in the dust. So the fact that I found nothing was more than a little odd.

While mulling this problem over, we exited the highway. We traveled the secondary roads for another hour before, we got on some country back roads, and finally what I could only describe as “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” dirt roads. The forest around up climbed up to an overgrown canopy. 

Finally, we came to a clearing and a fence. Not some little fence either. Twelve feet high, with razor wire at the top and signs warning of high voltage. Other signs stated the land as being government property and laid out the kind of legal and levels of violence that would be employed against anyone who was foolish enough to trespass. The road ahead was blocked by a gate. To the side of the road was a concrete guard tower. 

I switched from visible light to thermal imaging. I could see two men inside. Noticing us, they began to move around. Switching my vision to x-ray. This allowed me to see the sidearms at their hips, and the assault rifles on racks behind them.

I didn’t know what in the heck this place was, but it was obviously not a summer camp.

I sat up in my seat and stiffened. My emotional routines cycled up to the maximum. “Oh, okay. So this is what a panic attack feels like. Intriguing.” I thought to myself. My heart pumped my coolant through my body faster to compensate for the temperature spike of my artificial muscles drawing more power from my core.  It felt as though I were about to overload and go into shutdown.

“M-mother? What kind of camp is this?”

She smiled and squeezed my hand in her own. “It’s okay dear. You know I would never do anything to hurt you, right?” 

I nodded.

The facility that I was created in probably had a fence like this one, but I didn’t know for sure. There were gaps in my early memory as my programming wasn’t as sophisticated as it currently is. All I know is what my mother told me. Some “bad guys” hired her to create an artificially intelligent weapon. But she has a crisis of conscience when that “weapon” started showing signs of self-awareness beyond the scope of what she designed. So she smuggled me out.

“Well, this camp is for… very special boys and girls. The security isn’t to keep you in. It’s to keep others out. The parents that send their children here expect a certain level of privacy.”

“Special? Like me? You mean it’s a camp for androids?”

Mother bobbed her head from side to side. “Well, you are the only android, at least the only one that I’m aware of. But all the campers are, hrm, unique.”

We drove up to the booth. On the other side of thick ballistic plastic, a brick wall of a man in military fatigues sat. His face was as set and serious as the face of a statue carved by some neolithic society that had yet to invent humor. His short, blond hair was buzzed so perfectly flat that it resembled a table.

“Identification?” he asked. His voice was gravely and menacing even through the tinny speaker. Mother reached over in front of me and popped open the glove compartment. Inside was a gray card slightly larger than a credit card and twice as thick. She smiled and held up the card to the soldier before swiping it through a slot on the side. A red LED light turned off and a green one right below it turned on.

“Retinal scan,” the man asked or rather ordered mother.

Seemingly expecting this leaned into an outcropping on the panel which resembled the front of a VR headset. A second after staring into this there was a chime and the gate slid open. I saw her take a moment to blink away what was probably the after-effects of having lasers getting shot into the retina.

“Hello! Welcome to Camp Wyrd. I hope you have a wonderful summer. What’s your name darling” He looked right at me as he said it. The smile that lit up his face made him seem much less intimidating than a moment before.

“Uh, thank you, sir. I’m Daisy Turing Asimov.” I said not knowing what else to say.

The big man nodded, “Well we’re happy to have you, Daisy.” 

We drove inside. Five minutes in we drove up to a large wooden sign with the words engraved: Camp Wyrd.

That was the start of my Wyrd summer.

[heleneea]

Disorganized Attachment

trouble disclosing feelings

allowing themselves to be vulnerable

difficult to open up to other people

have a negative view of themselves and others

tend to act difficult/ intolerable ways that end up pushing people away (confirming their belief that other people will reject them as self fulfilling prophecy)

tendency to recreate conditions of childhood. subconsciously get involved with fearful/ potentially abusive people

relationships have taught them they cannot rely on others to accept and love them for who they are so they may act suspiciously/ jealous of their partners’ behaviors

prone to mood swings and create conflict within a relationship

problem expressing their needs and emotions in coherent ways because they struggle to understand them

can be clingy/ demanding in relationships. deeply desire love so actively seek attention and approval but can overanalyze their partners’ actions due to fear of abandonment 

presumption that their needs won’t be cared for so they shut down their emotions and can come across as cold and unfeeling

inconsistent push and pull energy (ex: I hate you but don’t leave me)

inability to feel safe and cared for despite craving that very thing

“feeling flooded, traumatized, unsafe and confused fear”

conflicting emotions- wanting to be loved but not being able to let anyone in

“They’re afraid that the people who they’re closest to are going to hurt them, and feel like rejection and hurt are inevitable.” 

even if have support, have hard time believing 

struggle to self regulate their emotions/ behaviors

can act impulsively/ inconsistently

“I’m leaving you before you have a chance to hurt me”

low self esteem & low self worth that impacts the ability to keep consistent, safe feeling and long lasting relationships 

usually stems from trauma/ neglect from childhood

may stem from parent’s unresolved trauma/ loss

experience highs and lows at such depths that it’s hard for them to know what steady ground looks like

may see partner as place of safety one moment but the villain the next

you don’t want to burden others with your problems but you internally know that you need to connect with someone

you are capable of great emotional depths but you feel overwhelmed by them

people tell you you’re “too intense” and it leaves you lonely and isolated

your critical voice is most frequently used on yourself- this self criticism makes it hard for you to see and accept the gray areas in others as well. It creates and unambiguous standard of perfection

as you turn from hot to cold, your partner doesn’t understand why you can’t trust them. They might say things they don’t mean, in anger, or accuse you of being “too emotional”

these negative reactions just confirm your suspicions that your partner is flawed. You break up only to regret your decision later. 

focusing on the flaws in your partner

deep seated feeling of worthlessness and being undeserving

may cling to the idea of a perfect partner so any flaws are hard to accept

inability to regulate emotions or how to respond to the emotions of others

alternating between clinginess and distancing

difficulty bonding with, opening up and trusting other people

behaving in a way that ends up pushing their partner away because they are expecting their partner to hurt them but then end up in a place of distress because they really want their partner to stay

negative view of themselves and others

scary for them to let people get close enough for them to form intimate bonds

afraid of intimacy but equally scared of not having it

like playing a game that you never really understood the rules of. You want to play and win but no one ever told you how to play. You lose every time you try to play and end up getting hurt

to overcome disorganized attachment, you must work through the confusion you have about the conditions of love. It’s not your fault that no one told you how to play the game and win. You have an innate desire to connect with other people but knowing how to use emotions to connect is not innate knowledge. 

Finding someone who makes it a little easier to trust (nonjudging, predictable, accepting) can be the perfect place to start opening up and exploring your experiences, needs, and emotions in a safe environment. 

For the partner: 

realize it’s not personal. It’s not about you. Try not to be triggered by your loved one’s reactions to their fear. Be accessible, responsive, engaged. Show up in a secure, consistent and predictable way. Take care of yourself. Set your limits and encourage your partner to seek help when your ability to be there effectively ends. 

Root cause of disorganized attachment is fear. Prove that you are a safe person. Be very patient and extremely consistent. Demonstrate that you’re there for them. You care for and love them. Make your affection known. Communicate through both words and actions that you’re not going to disappear or abandon them. Build trust. Remain calm throughout all the emotional disregulation they experience. Recognize that there is inconsistency in their approach in the relationship. Tolerate the ups and downs as much as you are able to. 

Communicate openly and clearly. Be consistent. Aim to be patient and understanding. Listen to their concerns. Don’t expect trust straight away. 

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a40079652/disorganized-attachment-style/

https://brianamacwilliam.com/disorganized-attachment-style/

https://www.attachmentproject.com/disorganized-attachment-relationships/#:~:text=Disorganized%20attachers%20view%20their%20romantic,disappointment%20are%20inevitable%20in%20relationships.

https://thrivefamilyservices.com/a-deep-dive-into-disorganized-attachment/

[ask-lunticas-characters]

Hey also, thank you

For replying

Our disregulation is our responsibility and you shouldn't feel required to apologize for that sorta thing.

But by replying, you are giving an ability for closure of a conflict (though greatly imagined on our part, we know we are all working on being better)

But also allowing us to approach this in a more thought threw and prepared manner.

We hadn't expected anyone to even give that post of ours much of a read threw. Let alone have "follow up questions" in a way.

We are sorry that it ended up with us seemingly trying to lash out.

We have instead decided to do one of our things to self regulate which relates to the pda in a oa setting. Below is said thing if your interested.

Cleaning actually became an anger expression thing for us.

I'm (raven, the one fronting after Quentin finished cleaning lol) sure many know the whole doing dishes with anger thing abusers do, in a tatic to guilt victims into feeling the need to appease threw chores.

Well that wasn't uncommon for our house either.

But you see, if we cleaned first, to perfectionist standard, we knew that later when they complained it was just proof that they were trash.

It gave us a feeling of control, that by cleaning when we wanted, we would than pro ourselves better or whatever.

Of course it was never clean enough and rarely noticed let alone thanked. Because as we knew, it wasn't about it being clean.

Now this worked great for that anger management piece and feeling of control. But it has other issues.

Cleaning for self care, such as teeth brushing, showers, and most troublesome, sexual toys and stuff(it was fucking bad, Quentin constantly reminds us how gross it was) didn't fit this idea though and thus was neglected and often a huge issue threw out every aspect of our lives. Took 20+ years to brush our teeth with any constancy. (Not knowing the sensory shit tied to things like toothpaste and being autistic surely didn't help)

We didn't know we were autistic until 21, we are now 28. We didn't even hear about pda until like a couple years ago.

I just know we had always gotten introuble for not being their perfectly behaved whatever, despite always trying my best to do what I saw as right.

I remember losing friends, teachers and other relationships due to a prevailing refusal to "do as told" and "challenging authority"

But our whole system couldn't fully understand why no mater what tactic the adults in our life used, we just never seemed to be effected the way they wanted us to.

By the time we knew we where supposed to self delete, we had noticed the cracks in the control and started planing for a bunch of things. But mostly it was about no criminal record, nothing that looks "bad" on government files.

By the time we watched our brother turn down a full ride scholarship because our abuser told him to, and we found out we were autistic, we had already been using the programing and pda to combat themselves.

For example, we need to die in obscurity. For the program to be happy. But also needing to be ourselves for self autonomy.

Blogs help with that while also letting to program 'apparently normal" continue irl

So we can't delete things. Because than we are hiding who we are. But we can't self delete because we are online and are known and Insteract with people there who will notice our absence.

That's how we make it work. Like a computer, if things are co dependent on needing to be completed, but also disable each other from completing the tasks, you'll get a bug. This often presents in computers as freezing both tasks progress.

In humans, idk for us it's been mostly dissocation and giving place for other alters to go do something else lol

Sorry for causing you so much dysregulation. I was asking how can both these things be true. Not prove yourself or justify yourself to me. Just can you explain more because it doesn't make sense to me. I'm not ignorant about all of it. Just don't understand your situation. Somoene very close to me is PDA. I'm a survivor of OA. When I talk about my experiences with my PDA person they say things that make me believe these experiences are in complete conflict. Hard to imagine how someone with PDA could survive when PDA makes it so hard to survive even regular life.

Due to how victims are picked, the pda was heavily masked due to the programing was started in infancy.

But it often displayed in a lot of small ways. Self care was something we would fight ourselves on. Fighting those who weren't the primary programmers because safer to do so.

Things like that.

Was especially mean to our bio brother and took a lot of self work to not be cruel forever.

The brain does a lot of things to survive.

The abusers, want us in panic mode. Panic mode means we can't think logically, critically, or for ourselves when in a panic state.

Pda is having that state activated by preseaved demands, including self needs such as bathroom and eating.

If a baby is tortured, before any nerodivergent traits can fully be diagnosed (cause personally we where part of stuff 28 years ago. research wasn't great, especially in afab)

They will be able to be programmed to dissociate and be prepped for the true bs.

When being programmed a pda will be seen as challenging but not unusable by such shit.

They use the fact self care is so hard as a way to try trapping the victim into the control system.

The activation of fight, flight, freeze is what they want because that's where the program is set.

Does that help? Do you get what we mean? That pda doesn't hold the program long term well if the victim can figure ways to live and fight the self care pda. But if they find themselves stuck needing assistance by the very people hurting them, they have to let the fear dissociative trained auto pilot run.

[slasherscream]

Crazy ass boys and how jealous they get when it comes to their s/o?

A/N: i have to laugh lord

crazy ass boys gang + how jealous they get on a scale of 1 to 10

billy loomis: Is so overcome by jealousy that it drives him to the very brink of his sanity. Sometimes he pretends to not get jealous, but he can't keep the act up. It's not a convincing one anyway. You'll know he's jealous the second he starts to feel it. It oozes off him. 9/10

josh washington: This is going to come as a shocker considering how obsessed with you he is, but... he's not the jealous type. That's crazy, you're thinking. I know. I can't explain it either. The vibes he gives off are simply peace and love. 3/10

stu macher: He thinks he's not the jealous type, but he is. He's the type that gets so jealous they kill first and ask questions later. Someone looking at you with even slightly too much interest is enough to make him want to string them up with their own innards. 10/10

jd/jason dean: Is insanely jealous but he's aware of it and doesn't try to pretend he isn't. Still, he considers himself more possessive than jealous. You're his. He's yours. You two belong to each other. Jealousy is for wanting something you can't have. 10/10

kevin khatchadourian: When feelings of jealousy are stirred up in Kevin, he responds by punishing you. You barely have the right to make him feel things that fall on the tender spectrum of human emotions. You certainly don't have the right to drive him to anger. He hates that you have any power over his emotional state at all, but you do. Other people are insignificant. Immaterial. If he's jealous it's because you've done something. 10/10

nathan prescott: Over and over the phrase that comes to mind for Nathan is "goes nuclear". That is because it's the only thing he knows how to do. He has the emotional regulation abilities of a toddler having their favorite toy taken away because it's nap time. He explodes at the slightest bit of your attention going elsewhere. Real scary stuff. 10/10

sebastian valmont: You might be thinking that Sebastian is the most normal person on this list. Surely, he must react like a normal person to jealousy. You'd be right... if the person who is making him jealous is not a repeat offender. You're genuinely the only person he's ever loved. The thought of losing you is unthinkable. If he perceives anyone else as being a better match for you, he will do anything, and I mean anything, to keep them away from you. 8/10

david mccall: Cannot stress enough how quickly this man goes from neutral to ready to kill someone with his bare hands over you. He doesn't react well to your attention being on anything besides him. But that attention stealing thing being a person? Praying won't be able to help them but it's the only chance they've got. 1000/10

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