#Yoga Teaching Career

[yogateachingcareer]

Unroll Your Mat and Take the Leap: A Comprehensive Guide to a Yoga Teaching Career

The once-niche practice of yoga has transformed into a global phenomenon, sweeping the wellness and fitness industries. This surge in popularity has ignited a spark in many – a desire to not just practice yoga, but to teach it and share its profound benefits with others. If you are a passionate yogi contemplating this exciting career shift, this guide equips you with everything you need to know to embark on your journey as a yoga instructor.

Unveiling the Yogi-preneur: Roles and Responsibilities

A yoga instructor plays a multifaceted role. You'll guide group or individual sessions, weaving together physical postures (asanas), breathwork (pranayama), and meditation practices. Here's a glimpse into what your days might entail:

Cultivating a Safe Space: Your primary responsibility is to create a warm and welcoming environment where students feel comfortable exploring their practice. This includes fostering a sense of community and ensuring a safe space for exploration, free from judgment.

Mastering the Art of Instruction: You'll act as a conduit, translating complex yogic concepts into clear and concise instructions. Be prepared to offer modifications for varying levels of experience and physical abilities, ensuring everyone can participate safely and effectively.

Empowering Transformation: As a yoga instructor, you become a witness and a guide on students' journeys of self-discovery. You'll motivate them to push their boundaries while honoring their limitations, fostering a sense of empowerment and personal growth within them.

Building Your Yoga Teaching Foundation: Qualifications and Training

The cornerstone of a yoga teaching career is a strong foundation in yoga philosophy, anatomy, and pedagogy. Here's a roadmap to equip yourself with the necessary skills and credentials:

Yoga Teacher Training (YTT): Consider the 200-hour YTT program as your essential first step. This program provides a comprehensive introduction to yoga, covering its core principles, foundational postures, and teaching methodologies.

Deepen Your Expertise: For those seeking to expand their knowledge and refine their teaching skills, consider pursuing a 300-hour or 500-hour YTT program. These advanced courses delve into specific yoga styles, delve deeper into anatomy and physiology, and equip you with more intricate teaching techniques.

Embrace Specialization: Hone your craft by specializing in a particular yoga style, such as the dynamic Vinyasa flow, the restorative Yin practice, or the structured Ashtanga method. Specialization can make you a more attractive prospect for employers or when building your own clientele.

Certification and Registration: Upon completing your YTT program, consider registering with yoga alliances like Yoga Alliance, a globally recognized credentialing body. Registration validates your qualifications, enhances your credibility, and grants you access to valuable resources and continuing education opportunities.

Beyond the Asana: Essential Skills for Success

While a deep understanding of yoga is paramount, there are additional skills that will bolster your success as a yoga instructor:

Physical Fitness: Maintaining a good level of physical fitness and flexibility allows you to effectively demonstrate postures and serve as a role model for your students.

Communication Mastery: The ability to articulate complex yoga concepts in a clear, concise, and engaging manner is essential. You'll also need to effectively communicate with students of varying backgrounds and experience levels.

Patience and Empathy: Yoga is a personal journey, and students progress at their own pace. Cultivate patience and empathy to create a supportive and encouraging learning environment for everyone.

Business Acumen: If you envision opening your own studio or offering private sessions, developing business skills like marketing, social media management, and basic business administration become crucial.

A Spectrum of Opportunities: Where You Can Teach Yoga

The beauty of a yoga teaching career lies in its versatility. Here are some avenues to explore and share your passion with the world:

Yoga Studios: Many yoga instructors find their footing by teaching group classes at established studios. This provides a platform to gain experience, build a following, and refine your teaching style.

Fitness Centers and Gyms: Large fitness chains often incorporate yoga classes into their group fitness programs. This can be a great option for instructors seeking a reliable income source and a broader audience.

Corporate Yoga: The corporate world is increasingly recognizing the benefits of yoga for employee well-being. This opens doors to offering on-site yoga classes, promoting stress management and mindfulness within companies.

Private Sessions: Personalized one-on-one sessions allow for tailored instruction and cater to individual needs or limitations. This path can be lucrative and fosters deeper connections with your students.

Workshops and Retreats: Hosting yoga workshops or retreats is a rewarding way to share your knowledge and expertise with a wider audience. You can create immersive experiences focused on specific themes or yoga styles.

Online Classes: The rise of virtual fitness has opened doors to teaching yoga online. This allows you to reach a global audience, offering flexibility and location independence in your teaching career.

Cultivating Your Yoga Career: Charting Your Course

Building a successful yoga teaching career requires dedication, strategic planning, and continuous learning. Here are some key actions to take:

Network Like a Yogi: Attend yoga conferences, workshops, and events to connect with other yoga professionals and potential clients. This allows you to exchange knowledge, build relationships, and stay updated on industry trends.

Embrace Lifelong Learning: The world of yoga is constantly evolving. Commit to continuing education by attending workshops, advanced YTT programs, or online courses to stay ahead of the curve and refine your teaching skills.

Become a Master Marketer: Leverage social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook to showcase your practice, share inspirational content, and connect with your audience. Build a professional website that acts as your online hub, providing information about your classes, offerings, and contact details. Consider content marketing through blog posts and videos to establish yourself as a yoga authority.

Nurture Client Relationships: Building genuine connections with your students is paramount for long-term success. Remember names, celebrate their achievements, and be genuinely interested in their yoga journeys. This fosters loyalty and encourages referrals.

Unveiling the Realities: Challenges to Consider

While a yoga teaching career offers immense rewards, it's not without its challenges:

Income Fluctuation: Especially in the initial stages, yoga instructors often face fluctuating income streams. Building a consistent client base and a strong reputation takes time and effort.

Physical Demands: The job can be physically demanding, requiring you to demonstrate postures and maintain good posture for extended periods. Taking care of your own physical health through self-care practices is crucial to sustain your teaching career.

A Competitive Landscape: The growing popularity of yoga has led to an increase in yoga instructors. Developing a unique selling proposition, specializing in a niche, or continuously honing your teaching skills can help you stand out from the crowd.

Finding Your Flow: Conclusion

A career in yoga can be a beautiful journey of personal fulfillment and the chance to positively impact the lives of others. By investing in proper training, cultivating essential skills, and strategically marketing yourself, you can successfully transform your passion for yoga into a thriving and rewarding career. Remember, the yoga mat is not just a place of practice; it's a springboard from which you can launch yourself into a world of wellness, empowerment, and the joy of sharing the gift of yoga with others.

[haripawali]

https://justpaste.it/82cjk

Shree Hari Yoga School in India provides you necessary skills to lead a safe and effective yoga class while nurturing to help you become the best yoga teacher.

[harmoonix]

Mars and the sports in the birth chart:

💥 We all know Mars is a planet who needs a lot of movement/motion/action/stimulation and of course competition, and in a birth chart Mars can indicate a passion for that, here are some examples 💥

Mars aspecting the North Node can indicate being involved with sports in your life, maybe you wanna make a living out of a sport you like, for ex, swimming or football/soccer etc

Mars aspecting the Midheaven can indicate a career involved with sports, making a sport your job/career

Mars in the 1st/6th/10th and 11th/12th house need a lot of movement in their lives try waking up with a running outside if is comfortable for you, maybe with yoga or meditation

Mars in the 1H / 2H /5H and 10H can have athletic bodies which can be a boost/bonus when they're practicing a sport

Mars in the 4H can indicate a person from your family can be involved with sports/a sport- passionate person! They may get you into sports aswell

Mars in the 9H/12H is really good if they practice something between mediation - yoga and sport in the same time because it can help them a lot

Mars aspecting Chiron can help you to get out of your fears by using a sport/gym/personal motivation

Mars in the 3rd house can be very attracted into being motivational to others or to themselves, and here we bring the podcasts (take care *healthy podcasts* not toxic ones) or that one person who watches yoga from their tv at home

Mars in the 3rd house can aslo develop a passion for bikes or motorcycles so if that helps you and your body do it!!!

Mars in the 11H can be into a sport where involves communication and friendship (team work) such as team sports like football/basketball/volley and more..

Mars in the 6H needs lot of mental stimulation in order to enjoy/start their day maybe try a little bit of body movement after waking up like waking up your muscles and you can feel a lottt better

Mars in the 8H can be actually invest a lot in sports, either be watching sports from home either practicing a sport themselves, sports can also bring them money or wealth

Mars aspecting Uranus are known for being talented already, dancing/body movement/gymnastics/ballet is a good key for them

Mars aspecting Sun can easily have a passion for everything they get into, whatever it is they'll enjoy it

Mars aspecting Neptune on the other hand can be good at teaching others, especially in sports like gymnastics/yoga they're good mentors

Mars aspecting Moon needs an emotional boost before starting their day try to listen to music and practice body movement in the same time it can help

Mars aspecting Saturn can either have sensbile bones or really strong bones it really depends here, a good massage can help them with their body movement a lottt

Mars aspecting Venus can have a healthy routine/ a healthy relationship with their body so there just try to make whatever your body feels the best/most comfortable with

Mars aspecting Mercury can be good at encouraging which may help in not losing hope/getting better and better everyday

Mars RETROGRADE in your natal chart can indicate a sport can help you much better, can improve your life and your mental Health

Mars aspecting the South Node at first can be a bit shy/confused if they are into sports or not but if they're truly passionate about it they can get attached to that

Mars sitting empty in a chart/little or no aspects to Mars can indicate not really a passion to sports but you still wanna do something to improve your life and your body

Mars aspecting the Ascendant natives already have that very athletic energy, they're that type of person who can be good at any sport if they have the ambition for it

Mars in the 7H can be good at improving their love lives with using sport as a tool. Maybe you and your partner share both a passion for sports (which btw is a really cute thing to have), that type of couple who goes running every morning

[therabydskald]

The New Year: "Be It Resolved..."

The New Year: “Be It Resolved…”

Happy Sol’s Day!!! Anyone who knows me also knows that I do not hold much to New Year’s Resolutions. I do however believe in a quarterly assessment of my goals and vision for myself. If the new year is valuable to me it is in the assessment of progress and a change of course that is planned. A course correction and seeing I am completely off course, time to chart from where I am at to where I…

[rainerioun]

WHAT CAREER IS FOR YOU? | pick a card.

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST. | KO-FI.

PILE ONE

What Career Is For You? Fool — Light : Fearlessly revealing emotion. Helping people laugh at absurdity and hypocrisy. Liberator — Light : Freeing yourself and others from outmoded beliefs. Releasing negative thought patterns.  Abundance : Use your existing abundance to create beautiful things in your life and you will be rewarded in more ways than you can imagine. The Underworld : Bravery, Depth, Facing of Deepest Fears.  The Ocean : Deeper than Deep, Big Dreams, Discovery.

You are meant to do something that not only helps you but also helps others find the joy in life by navigating through the darkness. You’re here to use the morals and ideals you’ve developed to guide others toward happiness with your insights. Emotions play a big role in this.

List Of Careers: — Comedian, Performer/Influencer, Counselor/Therapist/Psychologist, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Activist, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Crisis Intervention Specialist, Law.

PILE TWO

What Career Is For You? Hermit — Light : Seeks solitude to focus intently on inner life. Serves Personal creativity. Visionary : Capacity to envision what is not yet conceivable to others. Willingness to proclaim a vision without regard for personal gain.  Yin and Yang : Strive for harmony and balance in your inner and outer life through change, reflection and growth.  The Crone : Magic, Clairvoyant, Psychic, Intuitive, Wise. 

A career that allows for creative expression would be an ideal fit for you, as it aligns with your natural strengths and passions. Beyond the creative aspect, it’s also important for you to find a career where you can bring your own beliefs and values to the forefront, allowing you to express your personal perspectives and ideals.

List Of Careers: — Spiritual Guide/Reiki Practitioner, Metaphysical Practice, Tarot Reader, Meditation Teacher, Yoga Instructor, Writer/Poet/Artist.

PILE THREE

What Career Is For You? Virgin — Light : Maintaining symbolic purity of heart and spirit. Scribe : Preserving knowledge and information. Life Purpose : Your own, natural intuition and the genuine wisdom of your heart is here to guide you. The Riddle : A Great Awakening or “Aha” Moment.

Much like the last pile, writing and expression play a big role for you. Sharing your knowledge, whether through teaching or learning, might come naturally. If you're uncertain about your current direction, you might suddenly find yourself drawn to a job or field you hadn't considered before soon, and it could be the right fit for you!

List Of Careers: — Archivist/Historian, Writer/Author, Teacher, Researcher, Journalist, Philosopher, Librarian.

[incognitoblogger]

Call Me Gerald Pt. 1

This hasn't always been my body and my life. To this day I can't help but be a little silly on camera knowing that I'm the one dressing this perfect, mature body in this neon tank while enjoying a boat day with a plethora of new friends. You see, I used to be in my late 20's living a comfortable yet lonely life. I wasn't in despair or anything, but I had already settled into a mundane routine and lost some motivation to keep fit and trim. This was just my new normal, but everything changed when Gerald Turner moved onto my street. I was instantly enamored by him and the ease of his life. Now don't get me wrong, he had worked hard for decades to set himself up for an early retirement, but now his schedule was clear and he lived a life fully on his own terms.

Admittedly, I overcame my shyness because of the intensity of my crush and made chit chat welcoming him to the neighborhood when I saw the moving truck bringing his lifetime of belongings to the nicest house on our street. He was confident, kind, and effortlessly magnetic...qualities I wish I had...but because of his good nature, he did all the heavy lifting in our small talk and made the first neighborly move of inviting me over for a housewarming when he was better settled in. As the months went on, we became friendlier. It wasn't uncommon for us to chat over some beers and BBQ, and I even forced myself to watch some sports with him.

I learned that despite his ability to make rapid connections with people, he was still incredibly lonely in his own way. He had met his wife while they were both in undergrad, and then they both had separate and successful careers. Gerald went on to law school and practiced for about 20 years, starting several successful side businesses that were essentially passive income at this point. He then left his law firm to teach law for almost a decade purely to keep himself intellectually stimulated and to pay it forward to the newest generation of legal minds. Along the way he had had several children with his wife, and in recent years even became a beloved grandfather. But everything changed when his wife had an affair with her yoga instructor. Gerald rightfully filed for a divorce, but his ex wife poisoned their family with lies and manipulations. All of Gerald's children sided with his ex wife and went fully no contact with him. Gerald, this dynamic, sexy, and put-together man literally burst into tears one night telling me how much it hurt him everyday that he would probably never be able to see his children or grandchildren ever again.

I was sympathetic to the best of my ability and tried to reassure him that I appreciated his friendship and that I was here for him when he pulled himself together and started to apologize to me...but I must regretfully admit that this fully-deserved breakdown tainted my view of Gerald. Here was a man who had accumulated wealth beyond what I would ever be able to...who had a natural charisma and magnetism...and undeniable sex appeal...

It might have been the beers clouding my judgement, but a seed was planted in the back of my thoughts: He doesn't know how good he has it. I would do a much better job living the rest of his life.

From then on, it became insufferable to hang out with him. And I fully admit I was the one in the wrong, but forever more I just couldn't look at him without fully believing he was letting his family schism trap him in an optional hell. He doesn't have to feel that way.

If I were him, I certainly wouldn't be held back by some crazy ex-wife and ungrateful children.

I don't want to wear you down with exposition, so let's just say I had a medical tragedy. Gerald was actually the only one who came to visit me in the hospital according to the visitation logs. This softened my tainted view of him and made me regret how I had been fantasizing about replacing him...until my first night back in my house...

See, the docs told me that I had actually profoundly died and they basically performed resuscitative efforts purely out of formality, but somehow my heart jumped back online and then a surgical team was able to get me in fully stable condition. I was still slightly grieving that my new life would entail severe physical mobility limitations. It made me regret wasting my 20s and not being more active when I actually had youth and opportunity on my side. But youth wasn't even the issue because I watched Gerald arrive home from one of his shirtless evening jogs looking amazingly virile over the age of 50...I was envious again and just wanted to call it an evening. But as I closed my eyes, instead of drifting into a state of unconsciousness that I wouldn't remember, I felt my body losing its tangibility...shedding all of my concrete tethers to the world of the living...

I opened my eyes and screamed as my body seemed to have transformed into some sort of spiritual energy form. My visage floated clumsily and helplessly around my bedroom like a rookie astronaut in a space movie until I found that through sheer willpower I could mentally control the direction in which I hovered. I was still in a state of pure panic as I tried to grab my bed to anchor myself and my hands just traveled through all of the solid matter. This was impossible! I couldn't even grab the phone to make a call and my screams failed to activate Alexa, but in my existential terror I convinced myself that maybe I would still be able to communicate with another living person. Even though that theory made no sense, I'm oh so glad that I rushed over to Gerald's house, floating through his walls screaming my spiritual head off until I arrived at his bedroom and went dead quiet.

Despite being significantly older than me, Gerald was literal perfection in my eyes. It was enough to stop me in my tracks until I reminded myself of my existential nightmare and began screaming at him to wake up. Nothing... I tried to pick up a pillow to throw at him and my hands just phased right through it. I tried to use my willpower to influence the electronics in the room to glitch out like on the ghost shows I used to love and nothing happened...Finally, in an act of frustration I pounded on his chest and to my shock his eyes shot open and he instantly woke with a gasp. I wasn't sure if he could see me, so I tried to quickly pull my hands out of his sculpted chest, but to my shock and horror I couldn't remove my hands. It was the opposite, like quicksand or one of those finger trap toys. My effort to pull out my hands actually caused a rebound effect that pulled in more of my energy until I was inside him to the elbow.

Gerald grabbed his chest and obviously thought he was having a heart attack. In his panic he began reaching for his phone to call 911, but I panicked and didn't want him to get so scared over a false alarm so I pulled with all my might until my astral form could not pull for even a second longer, but this, predictably, sent me towards him like a slingshot and I was now inside him up to the shoulders. The force of this actually hurled Gerald back onto his bed away from the nightstand and he just groaned in confusion and fear as he reached towards the nightstand, now too far on his bed to grip anything but soft white sheets.

My mind was in a panic state at this point, so I figured maybe fighting was the issue and I just have to sink into him in order to be able to get out. I really had no suspicion or thought that this would have any consequence other than occupying the same physical space as him, so I stopped fighting and instead positioned my astral form on top of Gerald and allowed myself to start fully melting into him. Gerald seized and winced as this started to happen, but then I'm not sure what transpired. All I know is I could hear him grunting No No No NO and then I couldn't see a thing. I just felt warmer the deeper I got inside him and then I felt myself whip around 180 degrees and fully disappear inside of his form. For a second I just felt darkness and emptiness. I could hear and feel the sound of Gerald's deep labored breathing and then in an instant I felt like I had been destroyed and dispersed in a massive surge of energy before reforming. Little did I know, my astral form had gone from merely occupying the same space as Gerald to fully bonding with every cell of his body.

I suddenly had normal vision, albeit a bit blurrier than my old sight and I gasped with a deeper and huskier voice. I also felt my weight pressing down on a pillow, but this was all different. For a second I thought this whole experience must have been a dream or a hallucination, but this was not my bedroom...this was Gerald's...and that means that this body must be...

Holy Shit, I'm Gerald!

I let off a healthy stream of panicked expletives given these absurd circumstances, but eventually that seemed unproductive. Out of curiosity I rolled back onto my errr Gerald's back and surveyed the room while thinking. Admittedly, my problem-solving brainstorm session did not last long because I was distracted by this fit and sculpted body coated in the ideal amount of masculine hair.

I should call someone.

I grabbed Gerald's phone and got a chill of satisfaction as I bypassed his Face ID, but then I realized that 911, anyone I knew, or any of his other friends would get me committed to an asylum if I called claiming to be Gerald's neighbor who accidentally possessed him...

No no no I've seen too many movies. We're NOT doing that.

Fuckkkk I hated myself slightly for feeling his cock engorge slightly. It was just really erotic for me to hear his sexy voice expressing my own thoughts.

Okay Focus.

Before I got up in a tizzy I convinced myself that the honorable thing to do was to try to phase back out of Gerald's body and let him think he just had a bad dream. The minutes passed as I tried intense willful focusing and muscle clenching as if I could push myself out. When that left me exhausted and covered in a light sheen of sweat I tried more meditative styles to maybe loosen my hold on him and just slip out peacefully, but none of that had any effect. And you might judge me for admitting this, but after making a good college try I rapidly reached the conclusion that maybe this was for the best. Now the logical part of my mind knows that's nonsense, but the carnal, devious side of my mind was able to gaslight myself a bit. I didn't have anything worth going back to...And Gerald here wasn't exactly loving his retirement with all of his family issues...Maybe neither of us could individually thrive, but my spirit controlling his body and identity...at least that could create one fulfilled and happy person...

Oh it was all too easy for me to believe that lie. I don't know how I got here, but I wasn't going to fight to remove myself from this situation. No...this was clearly meant to happen. I am Gerald now.

I am Gerald Turner.

That gave me a devious shiver of delight to hear those words leave my new mouth...

I quickly took some erotic bed selfies showing off this gorgeous body for Grindr...not able to resist the urge to start worshipping myself. The clicks and dings sounded off in the background like my own little homoerotic symphony as I fished my now rock hard and leaking cock out of Gerald's little boxer briefs and gripped it firmly with my new right hand. This was a hand that had lived a full life and this was a girthy and perfectly straight 8 inch cock that had pleasured many women in Gerald's younger years and bred 3 children with his crazy ex-wife.

"Never Again," I cooed as I tightened my grip and slowly started stroking. "This cock is never pleasuring another woman...Ever Again!"

The authority in my voice made my new toes clench as if on autopilot and I shuddered as I bit my lower lip and tossed my head to the side, ravenously inhaling a pillow to take in my new scent before going right to the source. I lifted my new left arm and huffed in the essence of my new pit.

"Fuckkkkkk," I groaned like a reborn slut as my perfect daddy dick pulsated with desire. "I'm never giving this up! Even if I found a way to get out...Never happening!"

I grit my teeth now after aggressively spitting in my hand to lube myself up. My abs looked so shredded as I thrust up into my grip, all while worshipping those abs, pecs, and nipples with my free left hand.

"Jesus, Gerald! These nips are sensitive as hell!" I hollered out as I teased those nips good--alternating back and forth until the combo of this teasing and cock pleasure had me literally kicking my legs out and digging my new big feet into the bedding. My new toes were clenched harder than ever as I tried to get even more leverage to fuck my slick grip. On and on this went for minute after minute...the pleasure reaching new and new peaks all while I got lost in the selfishness of this moment and berated my former friend, unaware if he was gone forever or if he could hear me from some dark corner of his mind.

"I'm Gerald! You hear that Gerald? This is MY body now! You're NEVER getting this back! You're NEVER coming back!!"

And with that my back arched and I instinctively grabbed the bed sheets before quickly scooping up my new balls to jostle them around as the first shot of my load launched out with so much force that it smacked me in the mouth and splashed all over my face. I licked up as much as I could with my tongue, moaning in approval at the deliciousness of my own new essence as I kept going.

I roared in delight with each pump and thrust milking out more and more of this still virile seed--first coating my neck and chest and eventually my new abs as the shots gradually lost intensity. Finally, I was still milking this cock with fully dry shots...still in so much orgasmic pleasure...coated in well over an ounce of hot seed and still helplessly wincing and whining as I desperately tried to get out just one final drop. I finally watched that final droplet crest out of my new cock slit and then I relaxed--crashing back onto the bed in a soaking wet sweaty heap...sighing in euphoria and satisfaction while massaging this copious amount of cum all over my new body.

When my afterglow finally faded, I got back into my new phone with Face ID again...smirking as I scrolled through my dozens of prospectives on Grindr. I wasn't going to be bogged down by Gerald's awful family issues. In fact, it worked to my advantage. It gave the perfect cover and disconnect from his roots for me to truly have a fresh start with this body's wealth and physical beauty. I get to write my own destiny now in a body and life that makes me feel motivated to make the most of every new day. That realization is making me get hard again already...Well hot damn, I better pick one of these Grindr hotties quick so I have some company for round 2...

Be on the lookout for Part 2. I'd love to make this almost a diary style series where I recount my ongoing adventures and developments as Gerald. And let me know what you think! I didn't really think this through--I just kind of got inspired by photos and busted this out in one chaotic burst, so I know the perspective and tense shifts are little crazy. haha I will try to write all future entries from the perspective of a real diary--as if I'm recounting events that have happened that day/week.

[cleapallea]

master list + More

𐙚 𝗘𝗠𝗣𝗧𝗬 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗧𝗦𐙚

& how you can make income! 🤑

Is empty house means empty wallet?

There are 12 sectors (zodiac sign + house) in astrology that reflect different aspects of your life. At this point, if you have planets in 12 houses, a planet being in that house as well as the rulers means you should have more focus in that area. For example, too many planets (2) in a tenth house with Venus aspects or rulers (Taurus and Libra) signifies that your career might be related to Venus qualities such as modeling, rebranding, or makeup (products, tutorials, etc.). Hence, I know some of you might ask: So what to do if none?

Empty Planet in 1st house

Aries: self image, rebranding and investing

Empty Planet in 2nd house

Taurus: depends on your own efforts. Kinda Similiar to 1st.

Empty Planet in 3rd House

Gemini: Person's activity, and investment (education, training and self development -professional)

Example: Graphic Designer, Artworks related, Freelance writer and etc

Empty Planet in 4th house

Cancer: Anything related to fostering homes, and building connections (social network)

Example: adopting a dog (female), and let them grow after that you can sell her puppies. Or you can build a pets/ poultry suppliers.

Empty Planet in 5th house

Leo: Anything related to pleasure, wholesome stuff, makes you happy and alive, self-expression, recreation, and innovation.

Example: Build a program (school, playground, or be a Yaya for a day) and alike

Empty Planet in 6th house

Virgo: anything related to health, wellness, and daily routines

Example: Be secretary, write a blog about health and wellness, Be a Yoga instructor, or Drugs Cashier in some malls, teacher and more.

Empty Planet in 7th house

Libra: anything related to partnership, business and interest in society as a whole.

Example: Be an event planner, teacher, or social media influencer starts to sell your self in social media.

Empty Planet in 8th house

Scorpio: money houses, long term success or growth career, real state investments and financial portfolios

Example: rentals of your personal collection like shoes, etc.

Empty Planet in 9th house

Sagittarius: Travel, higher learning, personal philosophy, exploration and intellect

Example: You may consider writing a story or list of quotes on a known website and look for a small publisher until you get recognized. You can also Teach foreign ppl in diff countries to use other languages.

Empty Planet in 10th house

Capricorn: public image, career aspiration and achievement, and more on ppl oriented.

Example: vlogger, streamer, content creator, YouTuber and alike

Empty Planet in 11th house

Aquarius: humanitarian and personal networks. Anything that may show your passion and interest in specific content.

Example: musician, or be friends with famous people (they can help you a lot), then let them see your talents. I've known a lot of Aquarius placements tend to be very talented. You just have to precise and be stick with good purpose cause double karma occurs if you're not.

Empty Planet in 12th house

Pisces: Mysterious side of humanity, mind, and life

Example: be a tarot reader, practice gambling, or any creative outlets.

✎ There are no such things as empty planets. The empty planets are ruled by the "lord" or "zodiac signs" inside them. Although I don't really believe it's not your main focus but more in IT'S YOUR HIDDEN GOAL AND SUCCESS, I've heard a lot of women who have their second house empty, but years later become rich due to partnerships, investments in education, and such. We have this called "transitting of each sign."

✎ take note that this is not a dynamic and astrology is about multifaceted interpretation. The question of where and what you can do to make money can vary depending on the whole system of your chart (aside from your energy). For me, I need to see the whole birth chart before I give the exact meaning of it. Every chart is different, so I can't provide full, detailed information about it.

✎You have to look for your MC (signs), Jupiter house +signs (power), Saturn (warnings/challenges occur) and Moon placed (for reminder why you started, why you need to work something like that) if you don't like your moon, then look for your south code. Or if you dont know how to start, look for the (Pluto). Find inspiration in everything :) God bless!

Plagiarism is A crime.

[fanfictionismyaddiction]

Toto Wolff with wife reader. He always goes to the gym or exercises in order to keep in shape. One day she wanted to do it too but instead spent the entire time there staring at him. Fluff and maybe suggestive. Thanks!! :))

In Shape and In Love

Word count: 1.1k

Pairing: Toto Wolff x reader

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Toto Wolff was a man of unwavering discipline, a trait that had served him well in both his career and personal life. Every morning, without fail, he woke up before the sun, slipping out of bed quietly so as not to disturb you, and headed straight to the gym. It was his sanctuary, a place where he could channel his focus, clear his mind, and maintain the physical condition that had become as much a part of his identity as his role at Mercedes.

You had always admired this about him. The sight of Toto in his workout gear, muscles rippling beneath taut skin, his brow furrowed in concentration as he pushed himself to his limits, was a sight you never tired of. Yet, despite your admiration, you had never joined him in his early morning routines. Mornings for you were about lingering in the warmth of the bed, savoring the last few moments of sleep before starting your day.

But this morning was different. You had decided to accompany him, curious to experience firsthand what had kept him so committed all these years. The night before, when you’d mentioned your plan, Toto’s eyes had sparkled with surprise and amusement.

“Are you sure, Mäuschen?” he’d asked with a teasing smile, wrapping an arm around your waist. “I’ve never known you to willingly get up before sunrise.”

“I want to see what all the fuss is about,” you had replied, grinning back at him. “Besides, maybe you can teach me a thing or two.”

That morning, you found yourself in the gym, dressed in workout clothes that felt a little too new, a little too stiff. The space was quiet, save for the rhythmic clink of weights and the low hum of Toto’s breath as he moved through his routine. He was already deep into his workout when you entered, the definition of his muscles accentuated by the sheen of sweat that covered his skin. He hadn’t noticed you yet, too focused on the task at hand.

You had intended to start with some light exercises—maybe a bit of stretching or some gentle yoga. But the moment you saw him, all thoughts of working out vanished. Instead, you found yourself drawn to a bench where you could sit and watch him without interrupting. It was a sight you rarely got to see so up close: the sheer power in every movement, the way his muscles flexed with each lift, the intense focus in his eyes as he pushed himself harder and harder.

He was wearing a sleeveless shirt that clung to his broad shoulders and chest, the fabric damp with sweat. Each time he exhaled, his chest rose and fell in a way that was hypnotic. The veins in his arms were prominent, a sign of the strength he had cultivated over years of dedication.

For a while, you simply watched, completely mesmerized by the man before you. The way he moved was almost sensual, each repetition a testament to his strength and control. You felt a warmth growing within you, a subtle yet undeniable pull that had nothing to do with the exercise you had planned and everything to do with the effect Toto had on you.

“Enjoying the view?” Toto’s voice cut through your thoughts, snapping you back to reality. He was standing in front of you now, a playful smile tugging at his lips. He had caught you staring, and the heat in your cheeks betrayed the thoughts you had been entertaining.

A sheepish smile spread across your face as you tried to play it cool. “I might be,” you teased, your tone light but your heart pounding in your chest.

Toto chuckled, a low sound that sent a shiver down your spine. He set the weights down and approached you, his gaze never leaving yours. There was a gleam in his eyes that told you he knew exactly what was going through your mind. “You know,” he murmured, reaching out to gently lift your chin so your eyes met his, “you’re supposed to be working out, not just watching me.”

“I was getting inspired,” you quipped, though your voice was softer now, betraying the effect his proximity was having on you. Your hand instinctively reached out, resting on his chest where you could feel the steady, powerful beat of his heart beneath your fingertips.

Toto’s smile deepened, and he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your skin. “If this is how you want to spend our gym time,” he said, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, “I’m not complaining. But I might have other ideas for how to make this morning even better.”

The suggestiveness in his tone sent a wave of heat coursing through you, and you couldn’t help the way your body responded, leaning into him slightly. “Oh?” you replied, your voice barely more than a breath. “And what might those ideas be?”

Toto’s hand slid from your chin to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over your skin. “How about,” he began, his lips so close to yours that you could almost taste him, “we skip the workout and focus on a different kind of exercise?”

Your breath hitched at the implication of his words, a surge of anticipation flooding through you. “I think I could be persuaded,” you murmured, your hand moving from his chest to the back of his neck, pulling him even closer.

Toto’s eyes darkened with desire, and he closed the distance between you, capturing your lips in a kiss that was both tender and demanding. It was as if the morning’s workout had only served to heighten his need for you, every ounce of his energy now directed towards the way he kissed you, the way his hands moved over your body, igniting every nerve with a burning need.

The gym was forgotten as the kiss deepened, his hands moving to your waist, pulling you up from the bench and against his solid frame. The feeling of his hard body pressed against yours was intoxicating, and you found yourself completely lost in the moment, in the way he made you feel so utterly desired.

“Toto,” you whispered against his lips, your voice breathless as you felt his hands slide under your shirt, his touch sending sparks of electricity through you. “Maybe we should… take this somewhere else.”

Toto pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his expression a mix of love and raw desire. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice low and rough.

You nodded, your heart racing. “I’m sure. I think we have some unfinished business at home.”

His smile was wicked, and he didn’t need to be told twice. Within moments, you were both heading back to the apartment, the anticipation between you palpable. The workout may have been cut short, but the morning was far from over. You knew that what awaited you back home would be a different kind of exercise entirely—one that you were more than willing to dive into with the man you loved.

[intuitively-her]

(Knight of pentacles, 6 of wands, 5 of swords rx, Queen of swords rx, Strength rx, 10 of wands, The Lovers rx, The Moon, 8 of swords rx, Judgement)

You're taking your power back and making your dreams come true. This year will be very rewarding for you. You've been putting in endless work, and your spirit guides/ancestors can see this. You will allow yourself to be more vulnerable and ask others for help, especially at work. You're putting your ego to rest and doing what's needed for you. Someone here may start going to therapy. You're finally starting to realize that you don't have to carry life's burdens on your own. You're leaving behind petty issues and distractions that have been holding you back. Self-love is the theme for you this year. Doing less of what you want, and more of what you need. You will spend more time discovering yourself and figuring out what you truly want out of a relationship. This year, you will step into your divine feminine/masculine energy and become a softer version of yourself.

☎️Angel messages: Helpful people, Opportunity, Get more information

(Knight of wands, Knight of pentacles, Knight of cups, The Magician, 5 of wands, Death rx, 8 of wands rx, 6 of cups)

This year, you'll be living large and taking charge! You're going after what you want. Someone here will start a new job soon. Or you're switching career fields. This is the perfect time. You could be starting a new project, or you're finishing one. Expect a successful outcome from this. Someone here could have an online business, or you could be a content creator. This year will push you out of your comfort zone in so many ways. Someone here will take a solo trip somewhere. I heard "bungee jumping" lol. Someone here will have to do a public speech for a big event, or a performance. You will put yourself out into the dating world again. I see you having fun on dates and not taking anything too seriously. This year is going to make you slow down and live in the moment.

☎️Angel messages: Caution is warranted. Look deeper into this situation before pertaining further. Yoga and exercise are essential to your well-being, peace of mind, and spiritual growth at this time. You have a special bond with animals. Your pets on Earth and in heaven are watched over by angles.

(Queen of pentacles, 10 of pentacles, Queen of swords, Page of swords, 6 of cups, The Emperor, Ace of swords, 7 of swords, Judgement rx)

This year will be very abundant. There's a lot of big wins in store for you. Someone here is getting a promotion at work. You should play the lottery more often this year. Luck is on your side. Someone here could be getting their own apartment/house. Or you could be redecorating your home. You're finally receiving what you've envisioned and dreamed for. Someone here creates vision boards to help them manifest. You will tend to your inner child a lot more this year. Doing the things that you've always wanted to do. Someone will go to an amusement park. Or you've been wanting to. It would benefit you to reflect on your childhood and do some of the things that you did for fun back then. Arts and crafts? Scrapbooking? You might make a drastic change to your appearance this year. I see someone here changing their style completely. New hair/makeup? This year will teach you to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Be careful not to self-sabotage a good opportunity for yourself. Know that you deserve good things!

☎️Angel messages: Trust, Big & Happy changes, Ask for help from others

(The Sun, 3 of wands rx, 3 of cups rx, King of wands rx, Ace of swords, 7 of cups rx, The Fool, 2 of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, The Star)

This year will be a reality check. It seems like you've been feeling unmotivated, or you're not as productive as you could be. There will be some obstacles and disruptions thrown at you this year. This is all to make you see the bigger picture in situations. For some, you can be naive at times, and this causes you to set impossible expectations for yourself/others. And then when those expectations can't be met, you act like it's the end of the world. That needs to change.🤷🏽‍♀️ You will spend more time alone this year. This is needed for your growth. You'll learn to balance your life and become more adaptable to new ways of being. Heavy on the self-improvement. This year is going to test your faith in many ways. Someone here will start a diet routine or get back into the gym. Someone here could be working on starting a new business. Family business? You will gain more recognition as the year goes on. The more you focus on yourself and mind your business, the more attention you gain from others.

☎️Angel messages: Forgiveness, Reconsider, Communicate clearly, Recovery

💗Please DO NOT repost, copy, or steal my work. Thanks!💗

[tarotwithavi]

How are you glowing up?

How to choose a pile?

Take a deep breath and gently close your eyes. Politely request your spirit guides to reveal the appropriate pile meant for you, then open your eyes. Whichever pile captures your attention is the one meant for you.

Masterlist

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Pile 1

Hello my pile 1! I've noticed you've been putting in some serious work and hustle to chase your goals. Looks like some of you have been giving your body some love too! I'm seeing you hitting the gym, doing yoga, and taking care of yourselves, major kudos for that. It seems like all this effort is gonna pay off. You're on track to see those results you've been after. Also, brace yourselves, because there's a swarm of potential partners headed your way. Lots of proposals might be coming in hot. I'm getting that a makeover might be on the horizon. Maybe you'll finally let go of those nagging thoughts and chop your hair, grab a tattoo, or snag a new piercing. The vibe I'm getting is that this change will help you feel like your authentic self and boost your confidence. your dream job is in sight! You've been longing for it, and it's making its way to you. Now, about that spiritual journey you're on – it's gonna be quite the ride. Big changes are afoot, and yeah, they might bring some rough patches. I won't lie, spiritual awakenings can throw things out of whack. You might lose some friends, maybe even have some family stuff to deal with. But remember, all of this is gonna teach you lessons and lead to better days ahead.

Pile 2

Hey pile 2, I've got a feeling that some of you might've gone through a recent loss or missed out on an opportunity that's bugging you. Hold tight, because the upcoming twists in your life are gonna be jaw-dropping. Stressed about your studies, huh? Well, I see a mentor striding into the scene. They're gonna drop some serious wisdom bombs on you and help you level up in whatever you're studying. This one's especially for all you students out there. It seems like some of you have been dabbling in singing. Turns out, you're toying with the idea of making a career out of it. Your voice is gonna go through a crazy transformation. It'll become so captivating and irresistible that people are gonna be head over heels for it. Air energy is flooding this reading, so you might be an air sign or have a strong connection to it. Some of you are in for a big surprise, an invitation that's gonna turn your world around. You've been waiting on this one for a while, and it's finally here. Remember, your existence is massive and you're destined for some seriously awesome stuff. Keep that self-belief rocking and keep pushing forward, beause you're bound to snag every single dream you've got.

Pile 3

Hey there pile 3! So, while I was tuning into the messages for you, the first thing that popped up was "get ready for some justice served!" The rough patch you've been going through is finally taking a backseat. All those pesky things that were bugging you? Yup, they're on their way out! It seems like you might have had a recent breakup or some friend drama. But hold on tight, because these experiences are going to fire you up to stand up for yourself. Those choices you've been putting off? Time to make them! I'm sensing a major revenge glow on the horizon. Those doubters? They're in for a shock, because you're about to become the center of attention. People are going to flock to you, and even that social media game of yours. One of those videos might just blow up big time! And hey, not only are you going to be a total magnet, but your skin is going to start clearing up and your hair? Oh, it's on its way to luscious town. Every little thing about you is on the transformation train, think caterpillar to butterfly style. You're stepping into a time of being genuinely attractive and You're finally going to be getting the attention you've totally earned. Pisces energy is heavy in his pile.

[lua-magic]

Self Development and Astrology( Vedic Astrology).

There are four main important houses in Astrology called as "Kendra house" ie one, four, seven and ten.

Rest all other houses are supporting houses.

First 🏠 house, is the house of self and personality. Sun is exalted in first house, because Sun is soul, so if you know your weakness and strength and work on your body regularly ( as Mars has lordship of first house) then no outside enemy can defeat you. And if your body is in good state then you can enjoy all the pleasures of the world..

Fourth house The most important house, once you get defeated emotionaly then nothing can help you, it is said, once, you loose emotionally you loose everything in life

So never depend Emotionally on anyone. Never give control of your emotional body to any one.

Jupiter is exalted in fourth house, because even if you loose everything in life but hold on to your morality, you will get everything in life again.

For native who has their Jupiter in two, six, four and ten it is better if you go in work related to Jupiter like counselling, and teaching, spirituality, and work related to religion.

Next house which is important is seventh House, is house of your focus and attention .

This house tells you, where you give your focus that area will expand, also tells you focus on your partnership or network, because your network is your networth, you finally become like the person with whom you spend most time with

Next house is your house of Karma, or the tenth house If you know what work makes you happy or you do what you enjoy,then you are the most carefree and happy person.

Tenth house is opposite to fourth house, it means, once you work hard, fourth house related things like luxury and comfort will come to you easily.

If you have Mercury in 10th house or fourth house, then would get success when you involve in communication, speech or develop some kind of skill

If you have Venus in fourth or tenth then it is better you do work related to cosmetics, luxury, apparels, textile.

If you have SUN in fourth or tenth then it is better you work alone and independent. You can be good politician as well

If you have Moon in fourth or in tenth then you can get involved in food related job, or in psychology or get in job which has traveling..

Mars in second or in tenth house, then involve in land, property, house, real estate, or in Army, police or in sports. Such natives have so much of energy when someone assigns them task they will finish it fast.

Saturn eighth or in tenth house, should take work as their service,they can go in politics, or in service related industry, here Saturn will give you success slowly with time .

If your tenth lord is in first house, then do work related to self improvement and your body, such natives are great and can achieve alot in their career on their own.

Tenth lord second house, do work with your family, or related to speech and cooking.

Tenth lord in third house, do work related to skill development, sports, with siblings, media, communication, commission.

Tenth lord in fourth are extremely good, because person would get all luxurious and comfort by his work. You can work for masses, also home related job or service.

Tenth lord in fifth is also good, you can go in teaching and learning.

Tenth lord in sixth, you can work in charity, for pets, as doctors, healers, health workers, as auditor.

Tenth lord in seventh, it is better to go for business.

Tenth lord in eighth, research, soy, insurance, Bank, occult, astrology.

Tenth lord in ninth, good, you can go in counselling, teaching spirituality, religious work

Tenth lord in tenth is good, you are hard working and can work in any job.

Tenth lord in eleventh, you can work as free Lancer, create multiple source of income, work in social media

Tenth lord in twelfth, you can work in foreign country, or in foreign company, MNCs, import export, hospital, yoga, meditation.

One, four, Sven and ten are actual spine of your chart and you need to constantly work in these houses, rest all houses are by product.

[nectar-cellar]

i always love seeing your gameplay posts, they inspire me to play myself!! are there any mods you recommend to make the game more fun and/or realistic?

aw thank you so much!! knowing people like it also inspires me to play more :)

first of all i find a lot of gameplay mods through modthesims and creators here on tumblr: anitmb, twinsimming, olomaya, phoebejaysims, the sweet simmer @ mts, petalruesimblr, riverianepondsims (really want to try her tennis mod)

definitely check out those creators blogs to see all the gameplay mods they offer!!

nraas

nraas career + self-employed module: i am using this one mainly for the personal trainer career. your sim registers at city hall and then you can train other sims on any exercise equipment and earn $, it's kind of like a live career. with nraas careers you can also install more rabbithole careers for adults and teens from modthesims or missyhissy.

nraas relativity: i use this mod to slow down time so that my sims have more time during the day to do stuff. i set the speed to 19. you can edit the time speed by clicking on any clock or on city hall.

nraas register: i use this mod to disable paparazzi, tourists, and wild animals.

icarus_allsorts at modthesims

autonomous fun in the sun mod: makes sims do more stuff at beach

eat outside restaurants mod: makes restaurant rabbitholes more alive because sims are eating outside

lazyduchess lot population reduced mod: makes all lots more populated, more chances to socialize and get into drama. warning that lots can get really busy though!!

aroundthesims3

sandy has a lot of items that add gameplay. check out:

outdoor section

entertainment section

also the pets, kids, and downtown sections

EA Store - get these from blamseastore or free-sims3 archive

rim rockin basketball hoop: adds ability for sims to play basketball!! perfect for park/gym/university/community center lot

business as usual bistro: you can make your own restaurant for sims (also comes with a pre-built lot) to autonomously come in, sit down, order food, socialize. ani also has the "business as unusual" mod which is more in-depth.

deliciously indulgent bakery: adds more baking recipes and a pre-built cupcake shop lot you can place down

lucky simoleon casino: comes with lucky palms gold - you get a casino. the store also has a "double down poker and roulette bundle" for more gambling games you can add.

partaeus maximus statue: put it on any lot to make sims enjoy parties more.

DIY fitness career

you can make your own gym/exercise studio(s) around town and have your sim make a living by training others.

nraas careers self employed as trainer: train sims on the default gym equipment

twinsimming yoga mod + spin class mod: sims can teach yoga classes and lead spin classes using the cc yoga mat and cc exercise bike.

olomaya get pumped mod: sims can teach fitness classes using the cc exercise mats.

DIY twitch streamer career

ani simtube camera: your sim talks in front of a camera. improves social networking skill & adds blog posts to the blog app

twinsimming livestreaming mod: improves celeb level, social networking, video game skills

twinsimming level up video game skill mod: play video games, improvde video game skill, participate in tournaments to earn $ prizes

you can pair this with other jobs (modelling, singing, acting, etc.) for a sim who is trying to be a self-made social media star.

[threesided]

I have a few Head canons on some of the older characters of gravity falls.

I think that pacifica kind of became a bit of a hippie/spiritualist after moving out of her familes home. And vibes more with Mabel's engery. She did a lot of self work and got into meditation and yoga. She's also trying to self promote her singing career.

Mabel is party central and has mass parties with people over all the time, had to move out of the mystery shack due to Stan getting annoyed. Still a super creative, I feel like she's an artist working in large scale sculpture and festival design.

Dipper fell in love with a demon and that's super problematic for him and others, but he doesn't really care. With Bill funding him for everything, he doesn't work and travels a lot, solving mysteries.

Bill gets along well with all of Dippers friends - mostly cause he's charming and knows how to befriend each one of them, but Wendy never fully trusts him and Bill can tell.

Wendy gets into a good collage and is away from gravity falls often, but visits as much as possible. She studies law, but wants to be a politician so she can make the world better. In her spare time she teaches axe throwing classes.

[meichenxi]

career. change. help

so I am making a career change because teaching is going to make me burn out and I NEED YOUR HELP to brainstorm, fellow neurodivergents and degenerates!!!!! do you have any personal experience? any careers or jobs that work for you? (doesn't need to be a 'career' that your parents would be proud of; postie works fine!)

if you don't have any ideas, could you pass it around?

what we're working with / difficulties:

I am adhd and hyperactive. I like moving around a lot and struggle to sit still all day

I am also most likely autistic. I get HUGE masking/social hangovers that mean that when I teach for 2 hours, I need to spend another 2 hours directly afterwards in the dark with noise cancelling headphones. teaching in a school left me essentially unable to cook, clean or socialise for a year. even now teaching 1-1 means that I spend 100% of the time teaching recovering afterwards at least - so an hour recovering for an hour's teaching. this inevitably leads to burnout.

I have a lot of sensory difficulties and get easily overstimulated e.g. bright lights, sounds etc. I wear blue light cancelling glasses and use loops and/or noise cancelling headphones where applicable but yeahhhh. still doesn’t really do it

I have a problem with my ulnar nerve which means that typing for extended periods of time (even standing up, even with accommodations) is difficult. This is a cumulative thing, so it means that if I don’t type very much for one day, it’ll be easier the next day, but I still can only type for about 3 hours maximum. After a while (say 3-4 days of typing a reasonable amount), everything begins to hurt and eventually my hands seize up and I can’t use them :))) I can’t really use assistive technology enough as a stop-gap, because scrolling, clicking, holding a phone, cooking, washing up etc – all things where my elbows are a right angle all cause this problem

strengths:

I have a lot of experience teaching and tutoring. Don’t really want to continue this, but this is what my main experience so far is in – I’ve taught in China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, and the UK

I have experience managing teams of teachers and training, running interviews, writing curriculums etc. basically anything teacher-related I am fairly experienced at

I can speak (obviously) english, decent mandarin chinese, decent german, and could get good at french or spanish or dutch if you gave me like. six months to reactivate it

a good degree from a good university in the uk, linguistics, first class

I have a yoga teaching qualification

physically fit and able-bodied and active – I can run, walk, climb, pull things, do whatever

the issue I’m facing is that most ‘autism friendly’ careers I am looking at all involve extensive periods of typing, which I am not really able to do. and most ‘normal’ careers all involve extensive periods of socialising, which I am not really able to do. It’s a pretty shit situation. I am very good and enjoy performance-type things like teaching drama, yoga, tour guiding and stuff – all things my adhd brain loves – but I can only do them for a very short period of time before my autistic brain needs alone time in the dark.

So anyway. What sort of things do you guys do? What works for you? Any tips or help or directions would be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately it’s not a ‘how to solve the world career’, but ‘how to have a life’ type career – I am not adverse to working as a cleaner or a traffic warden or whatever. As long as I can write my book alongside (which I can’t do with ‘typing’ heavy jobs), I’ll be happy. at the moment I'm mainly just sad and frustrated at how little life i can lead even working 15 hours a week (which is all I work, and all, with this current job, that I can work)

maybe I’ll just make a youtube channel. imagine

[interpolanticssuperfan]

nothing natural | ken x fem!reader | part 1 | 18+ only

warnings: this will eventually contain smut so please be mindful. part of my goal is to explore ken developing a relationship with a human who struggles with their own vices, and doesn't feel qualified to teach him how to be human. i'd consider this slow burn with obviously eventual relationship fluff and smut (this includes ken doing things like drinking alcohol for the first time, having sexual experiences for the first time, etc.) not sure how many parts this will be but i will keep everyone updated!

also - my main is @snuffbby i just didnt feel comfortable posting it there, but you can follow me there if you want to chat or ask questions about this ongoing work. thanks <3 <3

Meeting Ken was actually a complete and unforeseen fluke – not on your part, it’s not like you were looking for him. 

Frankly, you weren’t looking for anything at this point in your life. Burnt out, at the end of your rope with men and content to enjoy your own company in the comfort of your apartment, happy to work your menial clerical job for the rest of your life until a better paying career fell into your lap.

Or whatever.

You didn’t really care. As odd as it sounded, you were thankful right now for boring. For humdrum chores, for cleaning the kitchen and brainlessly answering emails for eight hours a day until your joints ached. 

Having been out of college for four years now, you’d put in a decent tenure at your current company doing data entry. It wasn’t challenging and afforded you plenty of freedom in your schedule. That being said, most days were seamless copies of one another – wake up, feed your guinea pig, stretch on the tiny sliver of patio out front, then head to the library down the road to work until your eyes crossed from screen fatigue. 

Nothing really ever changed. Yogurt for breakfast every morning. Repeated motions of the only three yoga poses you knew. Even your guinea pig seemed to look at you with confusion sometimes when you fed her, tiny eyes ogling up at you from her spacious enclosure.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you’d mutter, dropping in romaine lettuce and pellets for her. And after every complaint, she would twirl in a circle, waiting for her daily brushing.

The library was a godsend on these hot summer days, air conditioned and quiet. You didn’t even need headphones, but preferred them to focus. The secretary stopped asking if she could help you find anything when she realized you’d become a regular patron of the modern looking white table near the massive windows.

“Good morning, Pat,” you’d smile as you passed, and she’d give you a little wave, usually on the phone with someone or engrossed in a book of her own. 

Updating spreadsheets. Notifying supervisors of progress. Nearly nodding off at eleven thirty. It had been shaping up to be an entirely normal, predictable, cut and dry day. Until a silhouette by the front desk grew bigger, approaching your peripheral and then flat out startling you. Numbers and figures had started to blur together, so you blinked hard and shut your laptop – just to find an incredibly curious sight across from you.

Sat comfortable and cross-legged in the opposing chair was one of, if not the most objectively attractive men you’d ever seen in your entire life. Pretty in a way that bordered on unnatural, like a living sculpture. A long, denim-clad arm splayed out lazily along the back of the chair. 

This man gave you a calculated yet warm smirk that danced across his features. Bleached blonde like a model and face angled, glazed in sunlight that inched through the windows. He was something straight out of a fairytale – picturesque, almost glowing.

Where had he come from?

“Is this seat taken?” Inexplicably you felt the back of your neck heating up, a ring of sweat forming around your collar where your necklace was clasped. It seemed to sear into your skin as you fumbled over your words, deciding what to say to the stranger who’d placed himself in front of you like an apparition. 

“I… no, I’m here by myself. Working, I’m, uh. Just working.” Strangely, you noticed him make a fist to himself, concealed partly by the table, but his gesture of victory was obvious, as if he’d just won a bet or something. The blonde composed himself then with a twitch of his neck, nodding evenly, instantaneously cool as a cucumber again. His bright blue eyes studied you, your laptop and planner on the desk, your bag hanging across the arm of the chair. You’d never needed the air conditioning to be effective more so than this moment. Crank it way up – igloo this place all the way.

“Excellent. My name’s Ken.” Big blue eyes finally locking with yours, he puffed his chest out, like a purple and green speckled peacock trying to attract a mate with his confidence, his easy bravado. Though it was difficult to ignore the openness – the curiosity in his eyes as he took you in. 

Like it was his first time talking to a woman, or at least trying to do… whatever he was doing right now with you. 

You felt that your instincts would warn you if this neatly manicured man was making you uneasy or frightened, but you didn’t notice an inkling of displeasure. On the contrary, it was almost electrifying to be stared at like this. Flattering. 

Had been months, almost a year since anyone paid attention to you like this.

“Ken?” Unable to stop the laugh, you tilted your head sideways, scooting your chair back to get a better look at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a Ken. Wait – I’m sorry, that’s not true. My dad’s boss was named Ken. But you wouldn’t, um. You wouldn’t know him. At least I don’t think so, I have no idea where you’re from. He was an engineer, this senior engineer for a huge company in New Jersey… we don’t keep in touch, he’s sort of an asshole.” You found yourself rambling on as you drank this surprising man in, freely sharing details about yourself without even telling him your name first. 

But what an interesting view he was. Painted still with this deeply intoxicating smile, pupils darting and eager like an energetic puppy. 

“I am not from New Jersey. But I’m sorry the other Ken was – what did you call him?”

“An... asshole?”

“Yes, I’m sorry he was that.” Your long winded introduction didn’t seem to bother him one bit. He kept his gaze unmoving right on your face, like he was terrified to break eye contact.

You eyed his white cowboy boots (did people still wear those?), black leather pants that hugged his legs like a gift from the heavens, and a long sleeved white denim jacket that appeared to be cropped, revealing just a hint of his lower stomach, and when you caught your eyes lingering for just too long on the tanned patch of skin peeking out, you sighed, shutting yourself up. 

You couldn’t shake one thing, though; leather and denim on a day like this? It was nearly ninety outside, you remembered, and cocked your head at him.

“Oh, I was talking about my dad, not his boss. And I’m (Y/N), by the way.”

“A lovely name for a lovely lady,” Ken replied, studying you to gauge your reaction to his compliment. It was clear Ken was attempting to hit on you, and it was equal parts unfamiliar and gratifying. 

“Thank you. I’ve never had anyone say that about my name.” Ken winced as if shot through the heart, his flawless eyebrows flying up to his flawless hairline, and he clutched at the buttons on his jacket. This display would have probably seemed incredibly dramatic on any other man, but for some reason it read as… serious on Ken.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

You shook your head. “I’m not.”

“That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”

“Well, I really appreciate your honesty, Ken.”

“It’s no problem at all. I would never lie to you. Not in a hundred million years.”

Very heartfelt words coming from someone you’ve known for all of… four minutes, generously. 

You quirked your head, caught off guard by his comment. “I… thank you. If you don’t mind me asking, what brought you over… here? To sit with me, I mean?”

This caused a beam to unfold across Ken’s face, and he leaned back in the chair, perching his chin up so as to look professional. “Can I tell you the truth?” 

“Well. Yes, I’d like that.”

“I saw you here last week. On – what’s the one that starts with an ‘F’?” Ken screwed his eyes shut, scanning his brain meticulously for a piece of very common, everyday information. 

This is a bizarre way to flirt with someone for the first time, you thought to yourself, bewilderment sinking into your gut as you helpfully offered, “Friday?”

“Yes! That’s it. Friday,” He uttered to himself and dropped his eyes, seemingly making a mental note. “So, I saw you here Friday. You were getting a book from right over there.” Ken pointed to the magazine rack nestled against the front desk that you once in awhile perused when the weekend approached, for lack of anything better to do at home.

You had checked out a magazine last Friday, in fact, after you clocked out for the day and packed up your things. It wasn’t anything special, just a stupid crossword puzzle collection with a recipe for a quiche you wanted to try making.

“You saw me on Friday and didn’t say anything?” 

“Exactly. You got the magazine, and then you walked home, and I didn’t know what to say because you were already inside. So then I walked back here – the library – and waited in case you came back. But that rude lady up there told me they were closing at nine, so I had to leave. Actually, she told me a little more than that. She said that I couldn’t loiter, whatever that is, but I was free to check out a book, so I asked her what book you had just gotten. But she didn’t want to tell me that for some reason.”

Ken recounted this like he was describing the weather with a colleague, just simple, redundant water cooler talk. Your jaw hung open in disbelief. Was he being serious? You’d finished work at four thirty. He sat here, allegedly for hours until it closed? 

He’d followed you home?

Before you could interject with a dozen questions flying through your mind, Ken continued. 

“Anyway, I thought about walking back to your house – and you have a big house, by the way! I had a feeling you would. You seem like a very successful lady. That’s why I had to meet you. Successful, captivating, beautiful, I couldn’t just go all the way back to Barbieland after I saw you!”

Had he mistook your apartment complex to be something you owned? And – what did he just say?

“Go back. To Barbieland.” You stated, smile faltering quicker than Ken managed to absolutely stun you with his fanatical tale.

“Right? I knew you would understand. I just knew you would, (Y/N)! Not to mention how long it took me to get here in the first place. So after security kicked me out –”

“Hold on, I’m sorry. I just… Ken?”

“Yes, my dove?” Ken’s taken to periodically toying with his jacket in positions that display his pronounced biceps. It’s endearing. It’s distracting. He’s stiflingly mesmerizing.

“Okay. Can we back up for a moment?”

Ken’s wide eyes regard you with infinite patience, wisps of his almost silver-like bangs falling against his brow bone. You remember that it’s only noon, and you’re still technically on the clock. In fact, your supervisor is almost certainly trying to get ahold of you for his midday rounds, checking on your team’s progress for the day. 

“Ask me anything you want. I am an open book. Especially for you.” He enunciates each syllable, adoring eyes raking over you again, and it’s beginning to feel a bit too much – and there’s a lot more information you need to derive from Ken before you can backpedal to… introductions and amicable conversation. (Not to mention the curling heat that’s pooling in your lower abdomen the more Ken devours you visually. He may have just dropped a bomb on you, yes, but he’s… well. He’s bewitching, alluring in a fashion that’s barely comprehensible.)

“Right. Here’s where I’m at. With all of this. I am very flattered by you, and your… dedication to finding me.” 

Ken’s grin overtakes his face, eye lines wrinkling with complete satisfaction. You almost forget your next words, forget to draw a line in the sand with this (gorgeous) stranger who’s just admitted to essentially stalking you.

But somehow, the pit in your stomach ceases its knotting when you meet his honest cobalt eyes. Not a hint of malice behind them, not a shred of ill intention. Not for the first time since you’d met Ken, you’re astounded that with any other man this behavior would scare you, probably compel you to call the police, even. Maybe you’d misjudged him.

He forgot the word for Friday, for Christ’s sake. 

But then there was this talk about traveling a long way to come here… about Barbie? This didn’t sit right with you, and the concept that Ken might be mentally unwell dawned on you, though he seemed coherent and relatively well spoken. Just a half hour ago you’d been toiling away with spreadsheets, and now you were silently cataloging all psychiatric facilities within a ten mile radius, wondering if a man of average height and average build could walk that far on a sweltering hot day. And still look, for lack of a better word, perfect. 

As you sat agonizing over the right words to say, Ken merely watched with his hands in his lap, boot tapping against his knee with no discernible rhythm. Patient with an emotion akin to devotion swimming through his watchful gaze.

“Ken… where are you staying?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Where have you been staying while you’ve been in town? Do you live around here?”

Ken smirked again, leaned in close to you, resting his elbows on your work laptop. “There’s that humor I like about you. Silly girl. I already told you, I live in Barbieland. It takes me seven hours to get here!”

“Okay. Right. So, let’s try this. Friday when I went home and you came back here. You remember that?”

“Uh huh,” Ken bobbed his head with sincerity, unfazed by this line of questioning, not picking up on how perturbed you’d grown.

“Where did you sleep that night? Do you know anyone here?”

Ken took his bottom lip in between his teeth, thoughtfully chewed on it. “Besides you, I don’t think so. The book lady who kicked me out doesn’t count as knowing someone. Right?”

“...Probably not. So where did you sleep?” You didn’t have the heart to tell Ken he didn’t really know you.

“I didn’t.”

“Sleep. You didn’t sleep?”

“No one’s asked me that before. I don’t really… get tired.” This confession strikes you as highly strange.

Your head began to feel fuzzy, and you guessed it wasn’t from skipping breakfast this morning. At least the sweat on your back had finally dried, and you inhaled deeply, trying not to startle Ken with your obvious worries.

“How about we do this. As you can see, I’m working right now,” you open your hand towards your long forgotten computer. “Well, I was working. And I’m not done for a few hours. But I think that we need to sit and talk about… everything. That you’ve told me.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll just wait here with you until you’re done! Look – I wanted to show you this. I even got a book before you got here.” Ken seems excited to share, so you purse your lips, watch him as he procures a book from underneath his chair. 

Ken holds out and frames a well worn paperback titled “Misty of Chincoteague”, frayed at the edges and featuring a wistful painting of a horse on the cover. For some reason, this childlike display of wonder touches you, and against all reason you’d ever acquired throughout your life, something nags at your conscience to trust this strange man �� something tells you, like a mantra beating in time with your heart, that this man is not a threat to you, he is not going to hurt you.

“Are you a horse lover?”

“I’m more of a horse admirer… they intrigue me,” Ken quips, scanning your face again to see how you’re reacting to him. He seems to be at once keenly self aware and simultaneously oblivious to how he sounds – how he’s received by others. This man is a conundrum, made up of so many conflicting personality traits and mannerisms that don’t belong together but mesh nonetheless. 

And, you tell yourself, you’re still giving him your undivided attention.

“I wouldn’t have guessed that about you.”

“Really?” Ken’s act of unbothered macho-man seems to slip slightly as his eyes bulge, intently seeking for validation, wanting to hear you talk more about him, your impression of him so far. Maybe this is the way to get more information out of him, you realize, so you humor him.

“Not at all, Ken. Tell you what – why don’t you come back with me to my ap… my house, and you can tell me more about the things you like? Would you like that?”

In the minutes since you’d begun talking to him, Ken shone brighter than ever, practically buzzing with enthusiasm, gilded with a golden halo from the unrepentant sun as he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “Perfect. You lead the way, I’m ready whenever you are!”

[the1975attheirverybest]

Queen of hearts

Acknowledgements and Disclaimers: this one goes out to all the moms out there. New moms. Experienced moms. Mom-to be. Yall are heroes man. All the love.

Shout out to the mutual who helped answer my pregnancy questions. Thanks for letting me pester you. You know who you are. Any mischaracterizations of pregnancy, labor, or postpartum are completely my own.

Warnings: brief depictions of labor. Mentions of depression. Also not proof read.

***

9 months had flown by like a dream. The whole thing had felt like a movie. And Matty, having made a career out of making life feel like a movie, was wary of the whole thing. Of course they’d had their ups and downs. Worrying over what constitutes a good parent and whether they were going to fuck this child up before it even had a chance to grow up and make its own mistakes. The occasional shock over how powerful and real hormone fluctuations can be. The Braxton Hicks scare. The late night cravings and the crying (some of which was done by him, if he’s being honest). Arguing over baby names, if the kid should be allowed to play football before a certain age lest they get injured. If, being the child of artists meant that the child would be sign up for music and art lessons, or if they would wait and see what the kid naturally gravitates towards. If gender-neutral clothing was inherently boring and lifeless, or, if it was ‘too woke’ to have a baby girl in a car onesie or a baby boy is a butterfly onesie. It was, after all, a pregnancy, not a walk in the park. But he’d loved and welcomed every bit of it. And so had Jo. He’d swelled with joy watching her nest and acquire baby clothes, paint the nursery, and start a vintage stuffie collection. He’d helped her curate a little library of children’s books for kids of all ages, to make sure their baby would be guaranteed a great start, no matter how advanced they turned out to be (Jo and Matty, were, of course, convinced that their child would be a genius). Looking back, even the labor and delivery process seemed perfect.

Jo had screamed at him the whole day.

“We can’t actually go to the hospital just yet. I called. The front desk woman told me to stay put and put on some yoga music.”

Jo had unleashed a string of obscenities upon him that he has chosen to omit from memory ( he remembers them perfectly. She had asked him if he was a demented fucker or if he would like this baby to come out or a teeny tiny hole in his penis instead). He had laughed, told her that she was funny and that he was falling in love with her all over again. She’d thrown the tv remote at his head, missing narrowly.

His gravest mistake, however, was trying to document everything. He’d brought a film camera into the delivery room, which the nurses had balked at. But Matty has been used to being called eccentric so he didn’t care. He wanted to remember every single moment of this day forever. And, when Jo had failed to convince him by making the same arguments that he often proposed at his own shows, for his own fans to put the camera away and just be in the moment, she’d decided to teach him an lesson by choosing not to warn him about the messiness of childbirth. The next thing she heard him say was “oh. So much blood.” Before he’d dropped the godforsaken camera to the floor, smashing it to bits. And ridding everyone of its evils forever.

“Oh my god, she’s here, Jo! I can see her head!” He’d rushed over to her, with tears in his eyes, squeezing her hand. “C’mon, Jo. You’ve got this! One more push.”

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. It’s too much. I just- she’s gonna have to stay in there forever.”

“‘fraid we can’t do that, Josephine” the doctor shook her head. “She’s almost out which means it’s tight on her now, if you don’t push, you’re hurting her.”

Jo instantly burst into tears.

“No, no, no! Baby don’t cry!” Matty cooed, then turned towards the doctor. “Why the fuck would you say something like that to her? Right now, as well! are you TRYING to upset my wife right in the middle of the birth of my child?” He hovered over Jo protectively, wiping her sweaty forehead with one of the rags that the nurses had brought in, and kissing her. “You’re okay, Jo. Our baby is going to be okay. Deep breaths, yeah?”

“You promise?” She whispered, too embarrassed for the nurses and doctor to hear.

Matty swears, this, was the moment that he became a dad. Knowing that his wife and child needed him to be the sane and steady one for the first time completely changed him as a person.

Though he had no business making these promises, he’d never felt more certain of anything in his life. “I promise, my love. I’ve got you. And you’ve got our baby. She really needs you right now. So….lets do this, yeah?”

Jo nodded, watching the nurse approach and take her hand to pull her back into position.

“C’mon,love. One more push?” The matronly lady encouraged.

Jo screamed as she gave it her all, Matty’s hand in hers.

“Great! You’re doing great, Josephine! Give me one more push!” The doctor smiled.

“You said that last time! Every single time you say this is gonna be the last push! You’re fuckin lying.”

With tears in her eyes, Jo screamed and cussed out everyone in the room, pushing with all her might, until finally, the baby was out. She heard cheering and congratulations erupt around the room which was her cue to lay back and finally relax.

“Dad, Would you like to do the honors? cut the umbilical cord?” The nurse had asked.

“Oh? I- erm I …should. But I don’t wanna leave you? But also I don’t wanna leave…her- I….” Years later, Matty would realize that it was, in fact, this moment, that had made him into a dad. The moment that he felt conflict between choosing to stay by Jo’s side and hold her hand through what she had just accomplished , or let go of her hand to go meet his daughter instead.

“Go, Matty, go.” Jo had encouraged him, her voice weak from screaming. She nodded as he hesitantly loosened his hold on her hand.

“Let’s fuckin do this!” His shaky hands took the surgical scissors from the doctor and made the cut. “Oh my fuckin god, hiiii” matty cried as he met his daughter for the first time. He almost reached out to take her into his arms but, then, realized that it should be Jo who gets to hold her first.

“Would you like to-“

“Yes, oh god, yes, please?” Jo sat up straight.

Matty, with fresh tears still running down his cheeks, leapt into action adjusting her pillows to support her back as she leaned forward to receive her child.

“Oh god, Matty, look. She’s so….”

“Perfect.”

Everything, about Sophia, from conception to birth, had been perfect. So, it was a complete shock to Matty (and to Jo) when things changed postpartum.

It all started with Jo sleeping in a bit more than usual. At first, Matty had written it off as her body recovering from labor. After all, she’d literally housed, sheltered, and built a human being from scratch for 9 months. She was entitled to a little bit of extra sleep if that’s what she needed. Besides, he saw this as his opportunity to step in. While Jo was pregnant, Matty felt limited in how much help he could be. He flew back and forth in between tour dates to be at doctors appointments, and to help purchase the crib and pick out the nursery colors. He drove across the country to make it to specialty bakeries and shops to fulfill the strange flavor combinations of pregnancy cravings. But none of it was comparable to literally being pregnant. So, it was only fair that he take on some of the work now that the child was born, and let Jo get her rest.

He wanted to be the best dad he possibly could. So, he dove in head first. And he missed the signs. It wasn’t until he was holding Sophia in his arms, looking at Jo, as she laid in bed, saying “it’s a baby, Matty. All it does is cry and sleep. What does it want from me?” That he realized something was deeply wrong. By then, it was too late.

Matty walked around the messy house, eyes blood shot and sore. Whether it was the crying or the lack of sleep, he wasn’t sure. He went into the kitchen, pulling out a massive trash bag and hauling in all the empty takeout containers that had been sitting there all week, shoving them all into the trash bag. He needed to step up his housekeeping game. At this rate, they’ll be living in squalor by the next few days.

He pulled the only clean mug left out of the cupboard and reached for the coffee machine that had been on since this morning, pouring himself a cup.

“Fuckin hell.” He whispered at nothing in particular. What time was it? What day of week or month even was it? He tapped his phone screen for answers. It was a Wednesday in the middle of the month. Just shy of noon. He knew that the best thing he could possibly do for his family right now would be to admit that he’s in over his head. And ask for help.

***

“Where is she now?” Adam asked, stirring the sugar into Matty’s tea before placing the mug in front of him.

“home. Erm….the cleaning service is working on the house. Her mom is there, too, to watch Sophia while she showers and stuff, so….”

Adam nodded, at a loss for words. He squeezed Matty’s shoulder gently.

“What do I do? How do I fix this?” Matty’s eyes darted between Adam and Carly, who wizzed around the kitchen, preparing dinner, with her son at her feet.

“You can’t fix it, mate.” Adam shrugged. Sheepishly.

“I know; I know. But- what do I do?”

Adam simply rubbed his friends back, searching his brain for any words of solace or wisdom.

“Matty, have you eaten anything today?” Carly asked, with her back to him, standing at the stove and stirring something that Matty couldn’t quite see.

He was offended by the question. He’d come to her with the biggest problem he’s ever had to face and her response was to ask if he was hungry? Speechless and indignant, he shook his head. “I have not. No.” He gritted, anger palpable in his voice.

Carly knew better than to take it personally.

***

Carly and Adam exchanged a look. Adam nodded, rising to his feet and taking his child from between his mother’s legs. “C’mon, little man. It’s time for bed. Let’s get into the bath. Give mummy and uncle Matty a bit of time to chat.”

Carly walked over to Matty at the dining table, setting down two huge containers in front of him. “This one’s soup. This one’s chicken and veg. Take them home. Freeze the leftovers and defrost as needed.”

“Carly, I-“

“Comfort food is good. For both of you.” She smiled brightly. “She won’t have an appetite but keep offering it to her anyway.”

“Right.”

“I’m gonna send you a list. Maybe pop into the shops on your way home and buy some of it. Baby cream, nipple pads, stuff like that.”

Matty nodded, dutifully.

“I’ll speak to Patricia and Charli and everybody. We’ll start a rotation. Check in on her and- maybe even send you off to the store a few times. There are just some girl things that she might not have on. Just some bits and bobs to make her life easier.”

“Hmm. Yeah. I suppose.”

“Matty, darling, you know who you need to speak to here. Who she needs to speak to. And it isn’t me, and it isn’t Adam, or George, or Ross, or even a doctor who will rattle off some statistics at her. Why haven’t you done it yet?”

***

Carly was right. Matty knew the person for the job. The reason that he hadn’t called his mom yet was because he was ashamed. Ashamed to admit, in front of her, that he had failed. He’d failed his wife. Failed his kid. Failed to do what he claimed his mother’s struggle had taught him. Failed to be patient, failed to be empathetic. He expected too much from her and he resented her when she wouldn’t rise to it. And he hated that about himself.

But his mom was always there. All he needed to do was call her and say “mum, I need you.”

Denise rushed over.

“Oh, matty, it’s okay.” She placed her hand over his. “It’s different when it’s your partner, isn’t it?”

“Why, though? It shouldn’t be! It’s not like she’s any more or less of a person, a woman, or a mother than you were when you had me!”

Denise rolled her eyes. They both knew Matty was smarter than this. “Yeah, but that doesn’t matter, does it? You were 17 when I told you about my depression. It had been 17 years. You’d seen me differently. And you knew I loved you because you’d felt it your whole life. You were only finding out about that stuff after the fact. This is not the same. Besides, the way that you feel about your partner is not supposed to be like the way that you feel about your mother, or if it is then I haven’t done my job raising you right.”

Matty frowned and licked his lips, searching his brain for a clever comeback.

“You feel like you’ve been abandoned. Like she’s left all the parenting on you and you’re trying your best but she’s not giving you much to work with.” Denise simply stated.

Matty laughed in disbelief. “That’s absurd. She hasn’t abandoned me.”

“Course, she hasn’t. She’s got an illness, she’s not a bad mother. But that’s what it feels like. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to be scared. You’re a new father too. You’ve got no idea what you’re doing and you want to be able to do turn to her but you can’t.”

“I- “ matty turned tongue-tied. Unsure how to respond. It made him uncomfortable to have his unspoken thoughts said out loud for him. “did dad ever…?”

“I don’t know. You’d have to ask him. I didn’t really speak much to him at the time. Sort of….blamed him for it, actually. A part of me felt like, somehow, he had done this to me or something.”

Matty listened, wondering if Jo felt that way about him.

“In fact, why don’t you go do that right now. Call him round. I’ll get upstairs and check on Jo.”

***

Tim left Matty flipping through old photo albums and went to answer the door, smiling wide and proud when he was met with Louis at his brothers doorstep. “You’re joining the crew?”

“You didn’t think you’d have a party without me and I wouldn’t find out about it, did ya?” Louis winked. “Nah, mum called. Said to come to Matty’s instantly.”

“Get in there!” Denise appeared behind them. “And don’t call it a party that’s insensitive.”

She shut the door, beckoning both men to huddle in the corner with her.

“We’re all here for one thing and one thing only.” Denise spoke with the command of a military officer issuing orders . “To watch the baby for the next two days. We work in shifts. Louis, you’re young and still have your back. You’ll take the overnight shift. Tim you start now. I’ll step in between you two.”

The two men exchanged a smile, nodding.

“And if you want to be here off the clock, you are not a houseguest. You don’t just sit sound and expect to be catered to. Consider yourself a contributing member of the household. Roll up your sleeves and see what needs doing around here. Let’s give them some time and room to figure out what Jo needs.”

***

Matty felt his heart shatter into a million pieces inside his chest when he walked into their bedroom and saw Jo, hugging the duvet, with tears in her eyes.

He rushed over to her, but as he reached for her hand, he recalled all the times that he’d tried to initiate any form of physical intimacy over the last few weeks —a hug, a cuddle, a kiss, sex— only for her to turn him down. He pulled away, hesitant, and not wanting to pressure her into anything. He wasn’t sure if these attempts were his way of trying to comfort her or if it was himself who needed the comforting. He would never think that he could possibly understand what she was going through, but, he couldn’t deny that he needed her, too. So much so that he was certain a simple touch from her would bring him to his knees.

“Jo, Darling,” he whispered, “fuck. You have no idea how much I wish I could kiss you right now.“

Jo blushed as if it were the first time that he had ever looked at her that way.

“Your mom- Denise, she…well, she and I talked. I don’t think I’m okay, Matty.”

He sat on the bed, looking at her. She was a shell of the person that he’d fallen in love with. “It’s alright, baby-“

“How can it be alright? I’m a mother! I- I’m a danger to my own child. When I should be her first and fiercest protector!” Jo yelled, sobbing into her own hands.

The sound of her crying was worse than a knife to Matty’s chest.

“Well, it’s a good thing she’s got me, then, isn’t it?” Matty pulled her into his lap, laying her head against him.

“I love her…” Jo tried to convince herself of her own words “ I want to love her.”

“Course, you do, Jo. You’re just not able to feel much of anything right now. Because of what you’re going through. But, we’ll fix it. I promise. We will.” He planted a kiss to her head “I’m sorry, honey. I’m really sorry I let it get this bad.”

“Matty, it’s not your fault-“

“No, it is. I- I thought that I was being a good dad by prioritizing Sophia over you. I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I thought it was what was best for us all.” She felt Matty’s tears dripping down onto her hair. “But it’s you, Jo. You’re what’s best for all three of us. Sophia and I need you. We’re nothing without you.”

Jo wished she had the will or capacity to comfort him, to want to hold her daughter in her arms. She knew it must be difficult on him, and she hated being a source of his pain.

“I’m sorry, Matty-“

“No!” She felt him stiffen. “Don’t. Don’t apologize. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, you hear me? You’re not alone. Neither are Sophia and I. Look how many people it took to get us to talk” he giggled at the thought. “Look how many people love you and want to support you.”

He saw the beginnings of a smile on her face. “Carly has practically started a catering business trying to feed us. You should see our kitchen. It’s never been this stocked up even when we’re both at home.”

Jo let out a small chuckle, the first since Sophia was born.

To Matty, that small sound was like finding water in the middle of wandering the desert.

***

Matty walked up and down room at the pace that he had discovered was most comfortable for baby Sophia to nap. He rocked her gently in his arms whispering, “you’re gonna be a sweet quiet girl yeah? Look at mommy. She’s so pretty when she’s asleep next to your crib, don’t you think, Soph? You take after her, that’s for certain. Let’s go get mommy a blanket, yeah? Shall we? Look at you! Taking care of mommy already. Bestest baby in the world, you are.”