#Yoda is a troll

[roseaesynstylae]

Yoda pops up as a Force ghost next to Din, who notices (insert The Force Doesn't Work Like That from Mace, who is off to the side, head in hands) and promptly freaks out. "Son, what happened to you?!" It is explained that Yoda is not, in fact, Grogu, and all Din can think is oh god this is his grandpa.

[atamascolily]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Non-Binary Character, Yoda (Star Wars), Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Han Solo Additional Tags: References To:, Destruction of Alderaan, Order 66 mention, Obi-Wan's death, other Jedi/Yoda's species deaths, nothing is on-screen though, also a TON of innuendos, Podfic, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: M4B, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Book Summary:

OR: The Cryptid on Dagobah

All Maize San wanted was to do her research and write her thesis in peace. She didn’t count on Imperial bureaucracy. Or little green gremlins.

(AKA: poor, harassed grad student is sent to Dagobah and, well...)

[luminapax]

I am 100% convinced that Yoda is actual capable to speak normal but just straight up refuses to do so.

Honestly, i get it. If i were in his position: Over 800 years old, grandmaster of the yedi order, ect. I would definitely start to do random BS like that just do f*ck with people. Who is gonna stop me? Who would dare to correct me? Mysterious the way of the force are, mmmhm!

[weathernerdmando]

yoda is such a troll.

in other news: I'm watching clone wars chronologically this time.

[wooapp]

And the Force, too. 💥

[i-just-want-to-be-a-bumblebee]

All Jedi Masters have Bruised shins and it’s Yodas fault

All the fics with Yoda in them have at one point or another a part that he whacks whatever Jedi he is trying to talk sense into in the shins with his stick. I just had this funny thought that there are a bunch of grown Jedi’s (he wouldn’t hit kids!) walking around or on missions with bruises up and down their shins from the little green troll.

[icsek]

The Bet

So I wrote this as a response to a conversation @sabeanwren and I had about how there had to of been a bet each time our dear boy Ani went on a mission about just how much he’d destroy. This was the outcome.

It’s also available for your viewing pleasure on AO3:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10647171

The group of Jedi at the table watched Anakin leave the commissary after his goodbyes. The second he was gone they collectively leaned in for a private conservation, a mixture of variations of here we go again scattered about the table.

“So what's the bet this time, friends? Buy in and pot, the same as last time,” Quinlan Vos whispered with a grin, grabbing his data pad and opening a file.

Plo Koon clasped his hands in front of him, sighing out, “One LAAT, three fighters, and minor planetary damage.” He slid fifteen credits across the table to Quinlan.

“What's the mission again?” Aayla asked, fidgeting with her credits.

“Humanitarian relief with the 501st to Florrum.” Obi-Wan Kenobi replied, stroking his beard. “One LAAT, one saber, two fighters, minor planetary damage.” Fifteen more credits were slid across to Vos.

Luminara raised a brow at Kenobi, but handed her credits to Vos. “You have such faith in Skywalker, Master Kenobi. I bet two saber, four fighters, minor planetary.”

“I did train the boy, I do have to have some faith in him,” Obi-Wan chuckled, almost winking at her.

They all looked as Kit Fisto sat down next to Quinlan. “My apologies, I just heard of the assignment. Have bets started yet?” He took the datapad proffered and quickly read through the existing bets before handing it back.

Ki-Adi-Mundi put his credits on the table, clearing his throat, “Five LAATs, three sabers, six fighters, major planetary damage.” He just smiled at the stare the others gave him.

“You have some insider information, Mundi?” Kenobi asked.

“You know that we all have the same information on the mission, Master Kenobi.” Mundi said with a conspiring grin. “Now what research we've done on our own is a different matter.”

Kenobi scoffed, “That's very un-Jedi of you.”

Luminara stared at Obi-Wan with a raised brow, “Betting on the damage your former Padawan will cause is very un-Jedi of you, Master Kenobi.”

Kenobi snorted, “Yes, well, I suppose so.”

Quinlan cleared his throat, “If we’d like to get back to the bets on hand.”

Aayla slid her credits across the table, “Two LAAT, three sabers, moderate planetary damage.”

“One LAAT, one fighter, no planetary.” Kit Fisto handed over his credits.

They all straightened and tried to look innocent as Mace Windu sat down at their table, “Good afternoon, Knight and Masters.”

Mumbled greetings replied in kind to Windu as they tried to keep the guilty looks off their faces. Only Kenobi and Luminara kept their composure.

“I’ve heard about these little bets on Skywalker. I don't put this kind of thing past Vos, but to find Council members-”

“No harm in attempting a little fun during war-” Kenobi interrupted, trying to keep from sounding too defensive.

Windu gave Kenobi the stare that fueled the nightmares of many a Padawan, shutting him up immediately. Quinlan stifled a chuckle.

“As I was saying, I didn't expect to find any Council members in on this little betting. Especially you, Kenobi, against your own former Padawan.”

Obi-Wan had the sense to look chastened by the implied reprimand.

When Windu quietly set credits on the table, no one​ could keep the shocked looks off their faces except Quinlan.

Vos grinned, “And what will your bet be, Master Windu?”

Obi-Wan answered his comm the moment he saw it was from the Resolute. “Anakin, how did the relief mission go?” he asked when the small blue form of Anakin came into focus.

Anakin grimaced, “Do you really want to know?”

Sighing, Obi-Wan asked, “What did you destroy this time?” Please say no more than one LAAT, one sabers, and two fighters. It was humanitarian relief for the Force's sake, there shouldn't have been any reason for a battle.

“Why do you always assume mass destruction follows me?”

Ahsoka's voice popped up in the background, “Because it does!” Her smaller blue form appeared next to Anakin’s in the holo. “Hello, Master Kenobi.”

“Hello, Ahsoka. So what was the count, Anakin?” He crossed his arms in a disapproving gesture.

“You sure you want to know?”

“Yes, Anakin,” was the exasperated reply.

“You asked for it. Six LAAT, four sabers, nine fighters and we might have kinda blown up a village.” He barely caught the mumbled, “or five.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi, the famed Negotiator and the Jedi everyone looked up to as the embodiment of the Order, cursed loudly.

Ahsoka gave a gleeful grin that was near sadistic, “Lose the pot, Master Kenobi?”

“Yes, to Master Windu, of all people,” Kenobi replied, before he realized who he was talking to. Oh kriffing Sith hells! He schooled his face to Jedi impassiveness before Anakin began his outburst.

“WHAT POT? MASTER WINDU? WHAT BET? ARE YOU BETTING-”

“Anakin, I can’t-” he fiddled with the controls to shut the visual off, “I’m losing you-” This time, he shut down the transmission entirely. Anakin's not going to let this go for a long time. How did Ahsoka even find out? No matter, better inform Quinlan.

Quinlan finished his report to the Council before he slyly tossed a bag of credits to Windu. “Your winnings, Master Windu.” He could almost see the vein popping out from the other man's head. He bit back a grinning smile, but schooled it into a cocky smirk.

Yoda looked from Vos to Windu, “Win the pot, did we?” The smile on the old face was one of smugness.

Neither Kenobi, Vos, Mundi, or Luminara could hide their complete shock.

“The…. Pot, Master Yoda?” Obi-Wan asked, confused. The only answer he received was a smug chuckle and the tapping of a gimmer stick as both Yoda and Windu exited the Council room.

[atamascolily]

similarities between Tor and Yoda:

annoying as fuck

won’t leave Luke alone to sulk

usually right

zany sense of humor

frequently talking nonsense (or so it seems)

can kick Luke’s ass if they feel like it (usually don’t bother, though)

poking Luke with sticks

enjoys hanging out in swamps

weird food preferences

Did I miss anything?

[atamascolily]

OMG I read Yoda: Dark Rendezvous last night and it was fantastic. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed a Star Wars novel as much as I enjoyed this one - like it was tailor-made to my interests. Yoda is a badass, the OCs are fun and interesting, the Force Woo is beautiful, and the whole book is hilarious from start to finish. Anakin and Obi-wan are mostly in the background, but their banter is on point and Anakin manages to be The Most Extra Jedi possible even in his limited screen time.

So many times, people write all-powerful, all-talented Jedi characters, so it was great to see Scout, who has to struggle for everything, and wins because she trains so damn hard and refuses to give up, even when she’s fighting someone far stronger than she is. I love her. I’m kinda afraid to look up what happens to her on Wookiepeedia, though I’m pretty sure she survived the purge if only from sheer stubbornness.

Sean Stewart’s irony game is on point. To wit: the moment I realized that the Padawan Whie foresaw his death at the hands of a Jedi.... only to launch himself at Anakin Skywalker and embrace him, crying “I’m so glad you’re not coming to kill me!” Oh, my heart. Oh, my heart.

Also, the extremely gothic castle on an extremely gothic planet--complete with acidic rain, passively carnivorous moss, a rose garden, surveillance cameras everywhere, and a resident madwoman--was excellent. 

I’ve never really been into Clone Wars/prequel stuff before, but this book was my first real introduction to  Dooku, and Asajj Ventress, and it was intriguing.  I think I may go back and read other books--definitely Shatterpoint, possibly others--because damn it now I’m interested and and they sure as hell aren’t making any new stuff I like. I’ll also try Sean Stewart’s other books if I can because hot damn.

I had worried that my heart was a cold, shriveled lump because I’ve hated so much of official Star Wars material recently, so it was good to see, no, I actually do like something I didn’t read back in the ‘90s, and I do like new stuff if it’s well-written and interesting. So that’s good to know.

(Does the Clone Wars stuff count as Legends or was some/all of it grandfathered into the Disney canon? I’m so confused about how this all works.)