#yoda the toad
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satans-side-hoe · 2 years ago
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No one.
Absolutely no one.
Me realizing in the middle of math that Hunter has to to do all the Bad Batch’s paperwork:
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catyuy · 2 years ago
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I've seen "Time Travel to the Prequels" Luke, Leia, R2 and even Han but I've never seen it with Chewbacca.
Chewie wakes up in the past at the beginning of the Clone Wars. He warns Tarfull of what he knows is coming. He then tells Malla, his wife, that he's going to rescue some cubs. Then he goes to Corellia and kidnaps Han and Qi'ra.
He eventually gets to the Jedi Temple where he talks to/berates Yoda. When he meets Anakin he makes it his mission to befriend him as this young man needs more hugs in his life. This leads to him adopting their entire Jedi Line into his family. He makes Obi Wan, Anakin and Ashoka spend time as a family, relaxing, talking and grooming each other. He and Han join them on occasion.
(Not sure if Qi'ra joins him, if he left her on Kashyyyk with his wife, sent her with Shaak Ti to Kamino or convinced Padme to bring her to Naboo.)
He's not worried about Lando at this time. He'll find him when Han is older and the twins are safely born.
He knows he can't just rip off the Supreme Chancellor's arms but he does makes various contingency plans with R2. He does what he can while he makes sure his family and future family's parents are safe.
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toxictoad · 1 year ago
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I need you guys to see what I'm seeing because WHAT THE HEL????
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Dooku. Okay, yeah, he's old. We knew that already. BUT-
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?????????
PALPATINE IS 18 YEARS
YOUNGER
THAN DOOKU????? WHAT?????????
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badideacentral · 1 year ago
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prohibited actions during sexytimes
playing big time rush songs
motorboat sounds on titty(s) - (s) added after loophole was found
playing the disney magic happens parade theme
super mario bros. toad roleplay
quoting male authors trying to describe women on a base level and still somehow sexualizing her (ex. her breasts boobed boobily)
imitating the supernatural pudding scene but with titties
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7. quoting the dog of wisdom
8. comparing titties to a child play mat
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9. using the word bestie
10. quoting game grumps yoda jokes
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sn0id · 1 year ago
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If someone offers you one of these... you know what to do
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thecreaturecodex · 1 year ago
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May I ask what reference materials you have at your disposal?
This list includes only books about monsters that I own and have used for the Codex at some point. It does not include books I've gotten from libraries (I have access to an excellent university library and one of the best public library systems in the country), nor does it include RPG books or books about science and nature. We'd be here all day, and this list already took like 90 minutes to collate.
A Field Guide to the Little People—Arrowsmiths and Moore Barlowe’s Guide to Extraterrestrials; Barlowe’s Guide to Fantasy—Barlowe The Dictionary of Demons—Belanger Monsters in Print—Benedict Ghosts Monsters and Demons of India—Bhairav and Khonna The Mwindo Epic—Biebuyck and Mateene, ed. The Beast of Boggy Creek; Momo—Blackburn Bigfoot: Life and Times of a Legend—Buhs The Hidden—Christopher and Austin The Unexplained!—Clark Ghostland; The Unidentified—Dickey Prehistoric Monster Mash; Dinosaur Memories II—Debus After Man; The New Dinosaurs; Man After Man—Dixon Mysterious Creatures: A Guide to Cryptozoology—Eberhart Welsh Monsters and Mythical Beasts—Ellis The Book of Yokai; Pandemonium and Parade—Foster Encounters With Flying Humanoids—Gerhard The Leprechaun’s Kingdom—Haining Meeting With Monsters—Hlioberg and Aegisson Dragons—Hogarth and Cleary Monster Atlas Volume 1—Hyland and Kay The Field Guide to Extraterrestrials—Hyughe Bestiarium Greenlandica—Kreutzmann Evil in Our Midst—Jones The Natural History of Unicorns—Lavers Legends of the Fire Spirits—Lebling Travels to the Otherworld and Fantastic Realms—Lecouteaux and Lecouteaux Cowboys and Saurians 1 and 2—Lemay Medieval Monsters—Lindquist and Mittman The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures—Matthews and Matthews The Night Parade of 100 Demons; The Hour of Meeting Evil Spirits; The Book of the Hakutaku; The Fox’s Wedding—Meyer Hunting Monsters—Naish Cryptozoologicon Volume 1—Naish, Koseman and Conway Encyclopedia of Cryptozoology—Newton The United States of Cryptids—Ocker Chasing American Monsters—Ofutt Iberian Monsters—Prado The Creatures of Philippine Mythology—Ramos A Wizard’s Bestiary—Ravenheart Giants, Monsters and Dragons; Spirits, Faeries, Leprechauns and Goblins—Rose The Encyclopedia of Monsters—Rovin Bad UFOs—Schaeffer JaPandemonium Illustrated—Sekien, translated by Yoda and Alt Dragons: A Natural History; A Manifestation of Monsters; The Beasts that Hide from Man; Flying Toads and Snakes with Wings; Extraordinary Animals Revisited; Mirabilis; A Menagerie of Marvels; The UneXplained—Shuker Dangerous Spirits—Smallman Myths and Legends of the Australian Aboriginies—Smith Monsters of the Gevaudan—Smith A Chinese Bestiary—Strassberg Mummies Cannibals and Vampires—Sugg The Ashgate Encyclopedia of Literary and Cinematic Monsters—Weinstock, ed. Mythical Creatures of the USA and Canada—Wyman The World of Kong—Weta Workshop Mystery Animals of China—Xu
Appearing on this list does not necessarily constitute a recommendation. Carol Rose's books, for example, has a lot of gaps and are responsible for a number of myths and misconceptions that have circulated around the internet. And A Wizard's Bestiary by Oberon Zell-Ravenheart is more worthwhile as a curiosity than as reference material.
There are a lot of internet sources, of course, but I'm linking my top choices. If you're not already aware of A Book of Creatures and Yokai.com, you need to be.
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mwolf0epsilon · 1 year ago
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Palpatine (evil): explode that toad
Frogma (oh no): :’(
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Yoda: A toad, that is not. A frog it is. Palpatine: Ah, potato pohtato, please remove it from my office it's disgusting >:/
Only a truly evil man could hate a frog that much, so Palpatine was uncovered as the Sith Lord and was swiftly dispatched by the Jedi. The galaxy is saved!
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thesitharts · 5 months ago
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Surprised I haven't seen anybody mention this, but then again I just thought of it today
Acolyte is set one hundred years before the clone wars, so my question is: where's Yoda?
No way he'd be sitting idly by while his fellow masters are being murdered, did the writers forget he's ancient and definitely would've been around in that time?
It's not like this is taking place in the Old Republic era, the events of Acolyte are pretty recent by star wars standards. Definitely recent enough for actually two wrinkly old toads to be hopping around
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vodika-vibes · 8 months ago
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Please for the love of god listen to Cody Obi-wan, he knows what he’s doing 🙏
Cody has all the common sense in the 212. He's not happy about having to babysit his General either.
Jesse swings Ashanii up onto his shoulders, and waits until her arms are wrapped around the top of his head, "Comfy up there, vod'ika?" "Yeah." She leans over, one of her lekku falling into Jesse's eyes, "Where are we going?" "We're going to look for animals. With Kix and the twins." "Aren't you all twins? You have identical DNA." Ashanii asks as she tucks her lekku behind her again. "Eh, it's complicated. Technically, yes. We all have the same DNA. However Echo and Fives are different." He ducks slightly so Ashanii won't hit her head as he steps off the ship, "Two tubies from the same zygote." Ashanii hums thoughtfully, the heels of her boots thumping lightly against Jesse's chest plate, "What's a zygote?" "A fertilized egg, where babies come from." Jesse explains. "Oh." She rests her chin on his head, "So Echo and Fives are more twins then the rest of you?" "Exactly. And they act a lot alike." Ashanii giggles, "They do seem to be able to read each other's minds." "They do, don't they? They're a little silly." Jesse walks over to his brothers in the scouting party. "There's nothing wrong with silly." "I agree completely." Kix looks up at Ashanii with a small smile, "Are you playing lookout for us, vod'ika?" She grins and nods at him. "Can we look for toads?" "Are they your favorite?" Echo asks. "Yeah! Master Yoda used to let me help him catch toads in the temple! And then we had to let them go because Master Ali said that they were dirty." Ashanii says excitedly. "Well, we're going to catch them and take pictures of them." Kix says, "Do you have gloves, just in case they're toxic?" "I do!"
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best-green-character · 2 years ago
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Best Green Character Tournament
The first round of voting will begin at approximately 3:30 PM EST on Thursday, March 16, 2023. Each round will last 24 hours.
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Our Lineup:
Round 1-A
Peridot from Steven Universe v. Marvin the Martian from Looney Tunes
Roronoa Zoro from One Piece v. The Saint from Rain World
Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street v. Choromatsu Matsuno from Osomatsu-san
Gon Freecss from Hunter x Hunter v. Bruno Madrigal from Encanto
N Harmonia from Pokemon v. Phonegingi from Dialtown
Gir from Invader Zim v. Heather Duke from Heathers
The Onceler from The Lorax v. Mojo Jojo from The Powerpuff Girls
Bulbasaur from Pokemon v. Jolly Green Giants from Green Giant Commercials
Round 1-B
Midoriya "Deku" Izuku from My Hero Academia v. Steve from Blue's Clues
Shintaro Midorima from Kuroko's Basketball (Kuroko no Basuke) v. Disgust from Inside Out
Zim from Invader Zim v. Green Mage from Everhood
Creeper from Minecraft v. Slimer from Ghostbusters
Pidge Gunderson from Voltron: Legendary Defender v. Hinomori Shiho from Project SEKAI
Louie Duck from DuckTales v. Ferb Fletcher from Phineas and Ferb
Shego from Kim Possible v. Grovyle from Pokemon
Fiona from Shrek v. She-Hulk from Marvel Comics
Round 1-C
Link from The Legend of Zelda v. Raine Whispers from The Owl House
Green Lantern / Guy Gardener from DC Comics v. Calliope from Homestuck
The Green Knight from Arthurian Legend v. Edd from Eddsworld
Gumi "Megpoid" from Vocaloid v. Amity Blight from The Owl House
Nepeta Leijon from Homestuck v. Rantaro Amami from Danganronpa
Retasu "Lettuce" Midorikawa from Tokyo Mew Mew v. Green Goblin from Spider-Man
Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives v. Leafy from Battle for Dream Island
Shaggy from Scooby-Doo v. Princess Tiana from The Princess and the Frog
Round 1-D
Willow Park from The Owl House v. Legolas from The Lord of the Rings
Green Arrow / Oliver Queen from DC Comics v. Chara from Undertale
Yoda from Star Wars v. Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist
Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc. v. Aisha (Princess Layla) from Winx Club
Lloyd Garmadon from LEGO Ninjago v. Rohan Kishibe from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
Futaba Sakura from Persona 5 v. Grantaire from Les Miserables
Buttercup from The Powerpuff Girls v. Kanna Kizuchi from Your Turn to Die
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from TMNT v. Qi Rong from Heaven's Official Blessing / Tian Guan Ci Fu
Round 1-E
Luigi from Super Mario v. Duo from Duolingo
Marina Ida from Splatoon v. Vylad Ro'meave from Minecraft Diaries
The Grinch from How the Grinch Stole Christmas v. Nao Midorikawa / Cure March (April / Glitter Spring) from Smile Pretty Cure! / Glitter Force
Fern Mertens from Adventure Time v. Ben Tennyson from Ben 10
The Riddler from Batman v. Piccolo from Dragon Ball
Grogu (Baby Yoda) from The Mandalorian v. Basil from OMORI
Poison Ivy from DC Comics v. Midori / Sou Hiyori from Your Turn to Die
Alicent Hightower from House of the Dragon v. Mei Dragon / Long Xiaojiao from LEGO Monkie Kid
Round 1-F
Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender v. Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks
Rock Lee from Naruto v. Dimple / Ekubo from Mob Psycho 100
Duck from Don't Hug Me I'm Scared v. Frog and Toad from Frog and Toad Are Friends
Yoshi from Super Mario v. Sprigatito from Pokemon
Beast Boy from Teen Titans v. Scourge the Hedgehog from Sonic
Loki from Marvel Comics v. Fjord from Critical Role
Kanaya Maryam from Homestuck v. Jet the Hawk from Sonic
Jake English from Homestuck v. Riz Gukgak from Dimension 20's Fantasy High
Round 1-G
Kermit the Frog from The Muppets v. Morro from LEGO Ninjago
Larry the Cucumber from VeggieTales v. Brian Yu from Monster Prom
Green M&M from M&Ms v. D'Vana Tendi from Star Trek: Lower Decks
Green from Animation vs. Animator v. Beetlejuice from Beetlejuice
Jade Harley from Homestuck v. Plankton from Spongebob
Hulk from Marvel Comics v. Green Ranger / Tommy Oliver from Power Rangers
Double Trouble from She-Ra: Princess of Power v. Madame Vastra from Doctor Who
Snufkin from The Moomins v. Netzach from Lobotomy Corporation
Round 1-H
Marcy Wu from Amphibia v. Vera Oberlin from Monster Prom
Tinker Bell from Peter Pan v. Danny Phantom from Danny Phantom
Ralsei from Deltarune v. The Creature (Frankenstein's Monster) from Frankenstein
Tsuyu Asui / Froppy from My Hero Academia v. Surge the Tenrec from Sonic
Shrek from Shrek v. Sailor Neptune from Sailor Moon
Gumby from Gumby v. Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy
Elphaba Thropp from Wicked v. Martian Manhunter / J'onn J'onzz from DC Comics
Marie Cuttlefish from Splatoon v. Rayquaza from Pokemon
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loveoaths · 2 years ago
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my favorite random headcanon is that there is no padawan haircut, actually. yoda just Did That to his young, incredibly vain padawan dooku because dooku got mad and called him an ugly toad once, and out of sheer pettiness and “If I have to suffer, we ALL have to suffer” energy, dooku made it a “tradition” among the disaster lineage. none of them question this because the idea that the venerable Jedi council member yoda created this godawful haircut for shits and giggles does not even cross their minds.
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maulthots · 4 months ago
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Anyway. Every day the sith are out here serving and slaying. And every time I see yoda I think, damn, maybe the agony of being a sith is not as bad as the agony of having that little toad for a boss.
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lamaenthel · 11 months ago
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Tivaevae | Chapter Three: Paper Piecing
Still struggling to emotionally recover from Master Obi-Wan's deception, Ahsoka discovers in the aftermath that twelve-year-old Boba Fett has been locked up among adults in the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center. After convincing Chancellor Palpatine to grant him a pardon, she manages to secure his release on the condition that she serve as his legal guardian. Now, with the help of Master Plo and the Wolfpack, she vows to help him track down what family he has left.
| AO3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |
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Fandom: Star Wars Characters: Ahsoka Tano, Boba Fett, Plo Koon, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Kanan Jarrus, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, CT-27-5555 | ARC-5555 | Fives, CC-1119 | Appo, Dexter Jettster, FLO | WA-7 (Star Wars), Shaak Ti, ARC Commander Blitz (Star Wars), CT-6922 | Dogma, Original Clone Trooper Character(s) (Star Wars), CC-3636 | Wolffe, Clone Trooper Sinker (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Comet (Star Wars), CC-2224 | Cody, CT-5597 | Jesse, CT-4860 | Boost, Aurra Sing, Tobias Beckett, Null-11 | Ordo Skirata, Kal Skirata, Original Mandalorian Characters (Star Wars), Original Droid Characters (Star Wars), Original Jedi Character(s) (Star Wars) Total Word Count: 123,000 Chapter Word Count: 7,367 Chapter TW: CSA Mention Chapter Summary: Anakin returns to Coruscant with a new initiate, Ahsoka discovers a horrifying truth about Boba's past, and Boba tries to reconnect with Rex.
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Anakin had been on Coruscant for a grand total of six hours before being gravely approached by Master Yoda with a solemn request; hurry to unstable Toydaria and retrieve a Force-sensitive toddler. Toydarian was his first language, after all, and perhaps the old toad had sensed that he wanted to be on the opposite side of the galaxy from his lying, backstabbing, heartbreaking, dick-for-brains Master.
Padmé, ever the opportunist, had jumped to offer her diplomatic cruiser for the mission. Since they had just averted the assassination of her mentor and oldest ally, it was the least she could do. It could fit a grand total of fifteen passengers; two pilots, three navigators, four guests, and six guards. They'd passed on the guards and had instead taken Dormé, Moteé, and Ellé along with Artoo and Threepio.
And, of course, little Taarak Na'Hane-Bata.
Anakin had been shocked upon landing when he discovered that instead of a Toydarian baby, he was collecting the adopted Togruta son of a pair of Toydarian physicians. They'd been devastated, despite having been the ones to contact the Temple in the first place, and the goodbye had lasted so long that even Padmé was creeping out the door in an effort to finalize their farewell. Now that he'd spent some time with the boy, though, he couldn't blame them. He was kriffing adorable, and well-behaved to boot.
Obi-Wan had once warned him about how dangerous Togruta toddlers were. They were thick with pheromones and notorious cuddlebugs who loved nothing more than to stare adoringly at their caretakers, hypnotizing them into catering to their every whim with their big sad eyes. Taarak certainly had those.
Though the two year old had cried pitifully for his parents until he had passed out from overexhaustion, when he awoke he seemed to have accepted the separation and allowed Anakin to comfort him. They sat in the lounge now at the padded bench surrounding the dejarik table. Padmé had turned it on to amuse him; he was frightened at first, but he'd quickly become fascinated with the tiny figures. He ran his little fingers up and down Anakin's tabards like he was typing on a keyboard as he stared at them, singing a nonsense song to himself and purring just like Ahsoka did when she was content.
He even looked similar to her; his skin was more blood than orange and both his lekku and eyes were a darker blue, but the resemblance was close enough to make Anakin's heart ache. He wished he could have seen Snips as a baby.
"Wanjala?" he asked Taarak with a smile.
The boy looked away from the figures on the dejarik table and nodded, grinning a wide grin that made his dimples pop. He had a blunt chin with a deep cleft that was visible even through the baby fat.
"Ndimatafuna, Taarak, inde?" Anakin popped a nuna nugget from the pile Padmé was busy unpeeling the breading from into his mouth. If Yoda had warned him ahead of time instead of just giving him a name and a pat on the ass to go get him he would have stopped at a butcher first. The nuggets were the only thing they had on board that was animal protein besides Ahsoka's carnivore rations, but Anakin didn't want to feed rations to a baby.
Padmé rested her chin on her folded hands and watched Anakin spit out the chewed-up nuna nugget and feed it to the toddler. "That doesn't seem sanitary," she said mildly, wearing an expression that looked torn between amusement and disgust.
"He doesn't have molars yet," Anakin said defensively, taking another nugget from the pile. "Their parents chew their meat for them for the first three years."
"So you said," Padmé replied, watching Taarak swallow enthusiastically.
Anakin fed him the second chewed nugget. "He also has to have Togruta formula until he's five. It's critical for their hearing development, Togruta breastmilk is very high in collagen and if they don't get enough of it the resonance chamber in their montrals won't develop properly. And we don't want that, Taarak, inde? Nyanga zathanzi, Taarak, inde, inde mwana–"
Padmé threw her head back and laughed, delighted. "Ani, I know you did research for Ahsoka, but my goodness."
"I didn't just do research, Obi-Wan made me take four different trans-xenoparenting modules on Togruta younglings. I'm pretty sure that I am the most qualified person at the Temple to take care of one." He didn't mention it was a direct consequence of almost killing Ahsoka that one time that he forgot to order her carnivore rations and she got enterocolitis from eating the troops' fungus-based nutrition bars. She'd gotten so sick that Kix had to collect a liter of Anakin's blood, mix it with red bacta, and flood her digestive system with it.
He still liked to occasionally pretend to open a vein for her when she complained about being hungry. It made her stripes turn black every time.
"I have to admit, seeing you like this is…" she smiled at him. "Intriguing."
Anakin frowned. "Like what," he asked, trying not to sound too annoyed. "Capable? Knowledgeable?"
Padmé shook her head and gave him a soft look. "Paternal."
Anakin looked at Taarak's montrals instead of his wife with a cold feeling in his stomach. "We agreed we'd talk about it after the war," he said quietly.
Padmé grasped his hand. "I want this with you, but I agree. After the war."
"I just can't bear the thought of you having to go through a pregnancy while I'm on a siege, or, or–" his vision got a little blurry and his eyes stung, " –raising one without me. And that's not even taking into account what you said about your mom–"
"Ani," she tried to interrupt.
" –how she had to use surrogates because the last try almost killed her, and you have the same mutation and I-I… Force, Padmé, if something happened to you because of it I don't know what–"
"Anakin!" she said urgently. "Taarak is getting upset, love. Please take a breath."
Taarak was squirming in his lap and his big eyes were fully porged out. Anakin centered himself in the Force and imagined the feeling of Ahsoka's aura, that calming projection she did so well; soft, silky rain riding a cool desert wind, an alkaline shower that quelled the rising acid in his blood. It worked. Not nearly as well as the real thing, of course, but enough for Anakin to bolster his shields and stop disturbing the baby. "Pepani, Taarak, pepani mwana. Chapino mwana."
Padmé reached for the bag of temperate formula bottles, shook one, and handed it to Taarak. "I didn't mean to upset you, love. I'm sorry."
Anakin huffed. "Let's blame it on the baby pheromones. They're giving us mommy brain, or whatever."
Padmé rested her head on his shoulder and watched Taarak contentedly suck. "After the war, yes, we'll talk about it. But I want this for us. I want a piece of our love to take on a life of its own. And I just know that you're going to be an amazing father, Anakin. Every second I watch you with Taarak proves that."
Anakin closed his eyes, unable to comprehend how it was possible for someone to own his very soul in the way that Padmé did. She knew exactly what to say to make him feel like the most treasured thing in the galaxy. He didn't know what he did to deserve it, but he'd do anything to protect it.
"My lady, I'd be happy to give the two of you a break if you'd like," Dormé called from the base of the ladder that led from the lounge and into the guest bunkrooms.
"That would be a good idea, I think." Padmé held her hands out for Taarak.
Anakin glanced down and met Taarak's giant eyes. He didn't really want to give him up.
"Hey now." Padmé snapped her fingers and giggled. "Don't get hypnotized again."
Anakin sighed, booped Taarak's nose, then handed him over. Padmé walked the suckling toddler down to Dormé and Anakin slumped on the bench, suddenly feeling very cold and unsnuggled.
His wife climbed back up the ladder and promptly took a seat across his lap.
"Oh," he said, blinking, then slipped his hands under her dress and up her thighs.
Padmé giggled and put a finger on his puckered lips. "I was asked to tell you that Obi-Wan has commed now for the eighth time, and is saying he urgently needs to speak to you about Ahsoka."
Anakin sat frozen for a few seconds. "What about Ahsoka?" he asked, trying to sound normal and not like he had guilt and panic writhing together like dying worms in his stomach.
Padmé raised an eyebrow. "That's all I know, love."
He reached around Padmé and brought up the message center on his commlink. He had thirty-six unread messages from Obi-Wan. Reluctantly, he slid out from underneath his wife and started paging through them, full of dread and praying to the Force that it wasn't about what he feared it was.
– [𝟶𝟷:𝟶𝟻:𝟿𝟾𝟶] – [𝟷𝟸𝟺𝟼] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝙰𝚑𝚜𝚘𝚔𝚊'𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎. [𝟷𝟸𝟻𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟹𝟶𝟸] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟹𝟶𝟾] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟹𝟺𝟷] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚎, 𝚝𝚘𝚘. [𝟷𝟻𝟶𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝. [𝟷𝟻𝟹𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟼𝟶𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟼𝟹𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟽𝟶𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> ~~ [𝟷𝟽𝟹𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝙸'𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚝𝚠𝚒𝚌𝚎, 𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝙿𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚗. [𝟷𝟽𝟹𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟹𝟶𝟸𝟾𝟸𝟻𝟸𝟶!𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙾𝙱𝙸> 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜. 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢. 𝙰𝚑𝚜𝚘𝚔𝚊'𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕.
Anakin kept scrolling. Nothing indicated Obi-Wan knew. He exited Obi-Wan's message log and went to Ahsoka's. There was nothing new from her.
– [𝟶𝟷:𝟶𝟻:𝟿𝟾𝟶] – [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟽] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙾𝙺
Ahsoka's typing dots appeared after a few harrowing seconds.
[𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟾] 𝙹𝙲𝟽𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟻𝟶𝟿!𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙾> 𝙸'𝚖 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎, 𝚠𝚑𝚢? [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟾] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝚆𝙷𝚈 𝙸𝚂 𝙾𝙱𝙸 𝚆𝙰𝙽 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙼𝙴 [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟾] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝙰𝙱𝙾𝚄𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄 [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟿] 𝙹𝙲𝟽𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟻𝟶𝟿!𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙾> 𝙷𝚎'𝚜 𝚞𝚙𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚖. [𝟸𝟶𝟺𝟿] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙴
Anakin's finger hesitated above the straight-line-dot key and the curly-line-dot key, suddenly unsure of which one was for questions.
Padme gingerly reached over the hologram and pressed curly-line-dot.
"Thank you," he said, his cheeks burning.
[𝟸𝟶𝟻𝟶] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> ?
Anakin watched her typing dots linger for a concerning amount of time.
[𝟸𝟶𝟻𝟷] 𝙹𝙲𝟽𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟻𝟶𝟿!𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙾> 𝙲𝚑𝚞𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚊 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚖𝚒.
Anakin frowned; was that Huttese? It took him a second to sound it out, but then he huffed a laugh. He'd never seen the saying spelled out in Aurebesh.
"What does that mean?" Padmé asked, squinting at the holographic interface.
[𝟸𝟶𝟻𝟸] 𝙹𝙶𝟾𝟷𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟺!𝚂𝙺𝚈𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙺𝙴𝚁> 𝙱𝙴 𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝚂𝙾𝙾𝙽 [𝟸𝟶𝟻𝟸] 𝙹𝙲𝟽𝟿𝟷𝟿𝟶𝟻𝟶𝟿!𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙾> 𝙾𝚔𝚊𝚢 :)
Anakin closed his message center after recieving his response. "She said 'his tail is on backwards' in Huttese," Anakin smirked, then wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders. "Means he's got his panties in a twist. She's fine, he's just throwing a fit about her giving him the silent treatment. Now, where were we?"
"I think," Padmé began, running her fingers through his hair, "You were about to give me a kiss."
"Sounds about right." Anakin leaned forward but she stopped him again.
"Actually," she breathed, then traced his bottom lip with her thumb. "Let's take this to the– eep!"
Anakin had already lifted Padmé, planted her bare ass on the dejarik table, and thrown her skirt over his head before she could finish her sentence.
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"You know you have to name him Robert, right?" Ahsoka joked. She bumped Boba with her hip. They had stayed uncuffed on the ride home and Boba finally seemed at ease, far more than he had been since they'd left the prison. She held his visitor's pass up to Disk and he unlocked the gate for them with an eye-roll.
Boba's aura rippled with the tiniest ribbon of golden humor and he tightened his arms around the rancor plushie. "I was already going to name him Robert," he snapped. "It's not because you said it." His aura went a little yellow with embarrassment.
Ahsoka put her hands up. "Hey, name him whatever you want. I probably picked up on your thought and didn't realize it."
Boba snorted. "You reading my fucking mind, Tano?"
"Only if you think really loudly," she grinned, then stuck her tongue out at him.
He stuck it out right back.
"Alright, we're gonna bunk in the rec room tonight." She took a chance and gave him a pat on the back, which he didn't flinch away from.
"Fine."
"We leave for Tipoca City first thing in the morning."
Boba stumbled and his aura flashed lily-white with panic.
"Boba?" Ahsoka asked.
"Why the fuck are we going there?" Boba snapped. His breathing sped up and she could hear his heart pounding. Why would he be so scared to return to Kamino?
"Kamino is the only place I know of where we might be able to find information on the Cuy'val Dar," Ahsoka answered, frowning. "Is there a reason you don't want to go back?"
Boba looked down, clinging to Robert like a lifeline. "Are you going to make me donate?" he asked in a harsh whisper.
Ahsoka's heart sank. "No. No, Boba, that's not why we're going there." She took another chance and put a hand on his shoulder, projecting soothing green calm-serenity towards him. "I give you my word as a Jedi, the Kaminoans will not take a single hair from your head. Okay?"
Boba bit his lip and nodded. He looked so young in the dim, ambient light of the barracks hall. "They take bone marrow," he mumbled. "That's where the best cells are, Dad said. They'd drill into his hip and he would walk funny for a week."
"Well, they're definitely not going to take that." She patted him on the back instead of hugging him like she desperately wanted to and started walking. "Plo got us a Consular cruiser, but it's halfway through a module conversion so half of the bunks were taken out for dual laser cannons. We'll have to double up."
Boba's lip twitched. "Great, I gotta listen to your snoring the whole way there?"
She laughed, relieved that he hadn't shut down. "I don't snore, but even if I did it would be better than listening to Plo all night. He whistles if his mask slips down."
They reached the rec room and Boba plopped himself on the couch. Ahsoka stayed standing and crossed her arms. Logically she knew that she shouldn't leave him there alone, but she felt oddly certain that he'd still be there when she returned. It was the same certainty that she'd felt in the diner right before she uncuffed him. "I've got to get some stuff together. Are you going to stay put, or do I have to lock the door?"
Boba stretched out like a cat, his bruised patches making him look like a calico. He waved a dismissive hand at her and crossed his legs at the ankle. "I'm too tired to run."
"I'll be right back with some pajamas for you, then." She winked at him. "And I'll grab some pillows and sheets. We can make a fort and have a proper sleepover."
Boba stilled. His aura hardened and lost the tint of green that was so faint that Ahsoka hadn't even noticed it until it was gone.
"What's the matter?" she asked, furrowing her brow. His aura was going staticky with anxiety around the edges.
"Nothing. I-I just didn't realize that Jedi did that." Boba shrugged. "I don't give a fuck. Fine by me. I haven't gotten laid in a minute."
Ahsoka stared at him, sure that she hadn't heard him right. She rubbed her montrals and shook her head to make sure. "What?"
"What's wrong, tailhead, is it your first time?" he sneered. He hopped to his feet and swayed toward her, full of false bravado and his aura a staticky thunderstorm of flashing green disappointment and gray anxiety and yellow embarrassment and underneath it all, a familiar shade of bruise-dark violet sadness-guilt.
She stood still, warily watching Boba approach with her brow raised until he was close enough for her to smell his breath. There was no way he meant what he'd just said to sound that suggestive. He was just hopped up on sugar from dinner or something, he couldn't possibly be propositioning her.
She believed it up until he grabbed her by the lekku and yanked her down into a sloppy kiss, all clumsy tongue and teeth. She squealed and shoved him back, spitting and sputtering in panic and revulsion. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she shrieked, wiping her hand across her now-wet mouth.
"You just said you wanted a sleepover!" he barked, quickly backing up with an aura cringing in on itself with neon orange-yellow mortification-anger. "Make your fucking mind up!"
Ahsoka's jaw dropped to her chest. "What part of sleepover said 'shove your tongue in my mouth?' "
"The sleepover part, you stupid cunt!" Boba shouted back. "The fuck do you think a sleepover is?"
"What do you think it is?"
"It means you want to fuck!"
"No it doesn't!" She was going to be sick. Boba was twelve, he was twelve. "Who told you that?"
Something switched off in his eyes. The bravado drained out and left him looking smaller than ever. The backs of his knees hit the couch and he curled up on it in a ball, hugging Robert the Rancor. "Aurra," he mumbled. His aura was dripping yellow with humiliation.
"That's… that's not what it means," Ahsoka choked. "It just means that you sleep in a place that you normally wouldn't, with a friend. Just sleeping. L-Like a slumber party."
Boba tucked himself deeper into the sofa and stared at Robert. His aura was drawn so close to his skin that she could barely see it, but the humiliation and hurt she saw there cracked her heart like an eggshell.
"I'll be right back. Just– just stay here. I'll be back." She paused. "I'm not mad. It was a misunderstanding, okay? Please don't run away."
He nodded without looking at her.
"I'll just be a few minutes," she said, backing out. "I'll be right back." She activated the door panel and hesitated with her finger over the lock; it was unintentional but she had just hurt him deeply, and she no longer had the certainty of a few minutes ago that he would stay.
"I'm trusting you, kiddo," Ahsoka muttered to herself, then walked away with her hands balled into fists. She wasn't going to lock him in. Boba would stay put on his own. He wasn't going to run, he was going to stay with her and his brothers where they could protect him.
Her blood was boiling. Aurra Sing was a monster, a demagolka, sgudal fhaighean, hule lopusa, a demonic, piece of shit nonce–
"Bad time?" Cody joined her power walk to the bunkrooms, his aura bright orange and blurry around the edges. He was visibly tipsy and he stumbled a little trying to keep up with her.
"Very," she said, looking him up and down. Cody had only one reason to be waiting for her in the 501st's barracks and she didn't have time for Obi– damn it, Kenobi's banthashit. "I'm guessing that he sent you?"
"No, I'm here on my own." He threw his arm around her shoulder. His breath smelled like tihaar and caf. "You gotta make up with him, 'Soka. He's driving me up the wall with his moping."
"Not my problem." She shrugged his arm off like a big, heavy slug.
He frowned at her. "He apologized, didn't he?"
She snorted. "Yeah. It was very touching and heartfelt. Totally made up for making me go to his funeral."
"At least you got to go," Cody mumbled, his aura flooding with purple grief.
"Why are you even here?" Ahsoka asked, exasperated. "He lied to you too."
"It's called being an adult," he grouched. "Try it sometime."
"Maybe he should try it."
Cody rolled his eyes. "Listen, it was a karked thing he did and we both know it, but you can't hate him forever."
He said it like Obi-Wan had forgotten to show up to her saber demonstration. He had no idea how hard she'd had to cling on to Anakin to keep him tethered to reality and safe from his own grief, how she had to constantly glean off the dark miasma that infected his aura like poisonous black oil.
She had felt like there was something watching him curiously from the shadows, like a patient nexu waiting for its prey to tire and fall from the tree it was hiding in. She refused to leave him, no matter how many times he'd tried to force her out of his quarters. She wouldn't abandon him to that hungry shadow. She'd rip and tear it up with her teeth if she had to, but she would not leave Anakin.
She had the bruise to prove it.
And then Obi-Wan Kenobi had waltzed out of the Royal Palace at Theed wearing the face of his own killer like nothing had changed and it was all a grand ruse that they were in on. Like he hadn't triggered the most terrifying crisis of her life. Like she hadn't spent three days in the darkest hell she'd ever been in, drowning in the icewater of not just Anakin's grief but the grief of every Jedi who knew him.
The only time she'd been able to mourn Obi-Wan were the pitiful few seconds she had been alone before Anakin had shown up, begging the bastard to open his eyes. He'd hid his aura so well from her, blocked their bond, he'd even projected a fake aura as Rako Hardeen in that motel room. That was a skill that he'd learned specifically to fool her, because it had absolutely no other practical application in the entire universe. Nobody else could bloody see it.
Ahsoka stopped in front of the bunkroom door. "How have you forgiven him so easily?" she demanded. "I ate a few of your jerky sticks on the way back from Geonosis and you didn't talk to me for an entire day, but he fakes his death and you're trying to rebuild his burned bridges for him?"
Cody's already pink cheeks flushed puce and his hands found his hips. "I'm a clone, Os'ika. I don't have the luxury of holding a grudge."
She mimicked his pose. "Well, I do."
"Come on. Just talk to him so he stops whining at me about how unreasonable you're being."
"I'm being unreasonable?" Ahsoka asked in disbelief. "Oh that– no, you know what? I'm done, I don't have time for this. I've got more important things to worry about than bandaging the wounded ego of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Goodnight, Cody."
She spun to leave and he grabbed her left arm to stop her, right over where the bruise was deepest. She gasped as pain shot down her arm, and she barely resisted snapping her teeth at Cody like a massiff.
His mouth hardened into a grim line and she realized that he'd done it on purpose. "What happened to your arm?" he asked harshly.
"None of your damn business," she snapped. She spun her arm out of his grip and slapped away the wrist that moved to replace it. "Stop it!"
"Commander Tano!" Cody barked, his aura flaring silver with authority. "I am ordering you to tell me what happened to your arm."
There was no arguing with that tone, even if he was half off his shebs from the tihaar she smelled on his breath. Ahsoka stood at attention, inwardly seething at the gall of him pulling rank on her now of all times. "Training accident, Sir."
"What sort of training?"
"Mechanical ordnance, Sir." It wasn't technically a lie.
"Conducted under who?"
She glared at him. "That's classified, Sir."
"I've got higher clearance than you."
"I cannot release classified information without General Skywalker's permission, Sir."
"So Skywalker knows." Cody's eyes narrowed. "Was it him?"
"I didn't say that, Sir," she snapped.
"Then who?"
"As I said, Sir, that's classified."
Cody's eyes softened and his aura went teal with protection. "Ahsoka, did Skywalker hurt you?" he asked gently. He wasn't asking as her commanding officer, he was asking as her vod. It infuriated her and made her want to cry at the same time.
Why couldn't he just mind his own shabla business? Why did he have to be the concerned big brother now, of all times? "Are you accusing General Skywalker of abusing me, Sir?" she asked, forcing her voice to sound cold so she wouldn't lose her nerve.
Cody stared at her, both of them knowing damn well that he couldn't outright say yes without crossing into insubordination. He blew air slowly out of his nose, his aura humming and glowing neon chartreuse with annoyance-anger at being outmaneuvered. "No, Commander."
Ahsoka nodded and kept her face neutral. "Was there anything else, Sir?"
Cody jerked his head. "You're dismissed," he muttered.
"Goodnight, Cody." She slipped into the bunkroom and closed the door behind her, trying not to grieve the damage she knew that she'd just done to their friendship. It would be nice if everyone would just leave her the hell alone for five minutes and let her take care of Boba instead of obsessing over something they didn't know anything about. He needed to be mothered a lot more than she did.
The bunkroom was virtually empty. The majority of the guys were out carousing at 79's and making the most of their shore leave but Jesse, Kix and Tup were squished into Kix's bunk watching Daiun's Anatomy on her holoprojector. "Hey," she greeted them.
"We're leaving as soon as this episode is over," Jesse said, holding a preemptive finger up. "Calliope's pregnant again."
"And she just did a tracheostomy on herself with a droid scomp. Her speeder crashed after she was stung by a spider and her throat closed up," Kix said in a monotone. "Which is shabla impossible, in case you were wondering."
"I wasn't." Ahsoka clapped her hands together. "I need the projector, though. We're sleeping in the rec room tonight."
"We?" Tup blinked at her.
"Yeah, me and Boba. We're in–"
"You and–" Jesse reared up and sent her holoprojector flying. She barely caught it before it hit the floor. "I thought Appo was joking when he said you adopted that little shabuir, Commander." Jesse's aura quickly flooded with red anger.
She took a step back in shock, not expecting another argument immediately after the last one. "Woah, Jess–"
"Tell me you're joking, Commander," Jesse said, his face all scrunched up in anger. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes; not to intimidate her, that wasn't it at all, he was begging her with his eyes to tell him that she wasn't serious.
Her heart sank. She really hadn't thought through any of the consequences of springing Boba, had she? Jesse was fanatically loyal, almost to a fault; of course he was going to hate the boy who attacked a Republic ship and killed hundreds of their brothers in the process. He was a traitor to both the Republic and the vode, and Jesse had no reason to feel sympathy for a traitor.
"I couldn't leave him in there–" she started, but she stopped when Jesse's shoulders sagged and his aura darkened to deep purple with sadness-disappointment. "Jesse, I couldn't!"
"Har'chaak!" Jesse broke away, pressing his palms into his eyes.
Kix and Tup hadn't yet moved from the bed, but their eyes flicked between Ahsoka and Jesse like they were watching a limmie match.
"He's so little, he–"
"I don't care how short he is, he killed three hundred and four of my brothers," Jesse said harshly. "And trust me, he doesn't look at us like his brothers."
"Jesse–"
"No. You're not thinking clearly. All you see is a little boy but he's manipulating you, Commander." Jesse took her hands and squeezed. "He's a killer. He used you to get out of prison, don't make the mistake of thinking that he cares about you even a fraction of how much we do."
"I know he doesn't. That's not why I did it." Ahsoka gave Jesse a pleading look, begging him to understand. She expanded her aura with a gentle, flowing wave of sage-green serenity so he'd calm down a little. "Boba was manipulated by a disgusting, evil dalgaan into doing what she wanted by promising him revenge for Jango. She was evil, Jesse, please believe me." Ahsoka swallowed hard. "I'm not saying he had no agency or was incapable of making different choices, but he's–"
"A killer," Jesse repeated with a growl.
"No– yes, but Aurra Sing, Jesse, she…" Ahsoka bit her lips, hesitating. It was Boba's truth to tell if he wished, not hers, but it would help if Jesse understood just what a hold she'd had on him. "She abused him," Ahsoka said quietly, saying the truth without actually saying it.
Jesse was smart. His face scrunched up even further, his aura went sick-green with disgust, and he looked away.
"He needs you," Ahsoka continued. "All three of you. He needs his brothers, even if he doesn't realize it." She turned to Kix and Tup and gave them a pleading look. "Please, he's barely holding it together." She didn't add that she'd made it worse. "I can see how badly he's hurting. Please, Jess." She laced her fingers with his and squeezed.
Jesse glowered at her. "You know, you're going to try to help the wrong person someday, and they're going to go for your throat." He pulled her into a spine-cracking hug.
Ahsoka relaxed, nearly dizzy with relief, and buried her face in his neck. "Thank you," she said in a muffled voice.
"Yeah, yeah." Jesse pulled back and touched her forehead with his own in a gentle mishmure'cya, then looked over her shoulder at Kix and Tup. "You two are coming, right?"
"I am!" Tup said brightly. "It'll be nice having a cadet around again. I miss being around them on Kamino. I always liked being asked to fill in for rec supervision."
Ahsoka couldn't help but smile. Tup had such a gentle spirit. If he'd been born a Jedi he would have made a natural Crèchemaster. Maybe if the stupid war ever ended he'd have a chance to live a gentle life. She could easily see him teaching younglings.
"He's not staying, Tup," Ahsoka said apologetically. "We're leaving for Kamino tomorrow."
"Wait, really?" His brows went up. "Can we come?"
Ahsoka bit her lip. "Unfortunately, because I'm a Padawan Commander and not a CC, I don't actually have clearance to authorize off-world missions."
"Aww."
Kix started yanking sheets off of random, unoccupied beds.
"That a yes for you then, Sarge?" Ahsoka asked.
Kix shot her a look over his shoulder. "Obviously, Sir."
"Anyone seen Rex?" Ahsoka asked, accepting a pile of pillows from Tup.
"Oh, he's in the commhub. He got called in by General Kenobi."
"You have got to be kidding me." Ahsoka tossed her head back and groaned aloud. "Why won't he just leave me alone?"
"He'd be a shit ba'buir if he did," Kix shrugged.
"He's a shit ba'buir regardless," Ahsoka snipped.
"Alright, alright. One problem at a time." Jesse physically turned her and pushed her towards the bunkroom door, carrying his share of sheets draped over his shoulders like an ancient Onderonian pharaoh. "You can bitch to me about Kenobi later, I promise."
Cody was thankfully gone when she opened the door. She led the boys through the empty barracks at a pace just under a jog, painfully aware that she'd left Boba alone for sixteen minutes, then bumped the door panel open with her hip since her arms were full of pillows.
Robert the Rancor sat abandoned on the couch. Boba was nowhere to be found.
Tup craned his head over her shoulder. "Uh, Commander? Where is he?" he asked, confused.
"Fuck," Ahsoka said faintly.
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Boba hadn't realized that water showers were a luxury until he'd left Kamino for good. Sonic showers were easier to install, easier to clean, faster to use, and didn't use up water rations. He wasn't sure if the troopers actually had water rations, but if they did then he'd used up at least half a battalion's worth. He'd been steaming for half an hour.
"Fierfek," Tiarek cursed from around the corner. "You done yet? We're locked down again, which means Ahsoka thinks you ran for it."
Boba's stomach seized up at the Tog's name. He felt so fucking stupid, but she was the one who'd started it. Why'd she have to push? He'd actually been thinking about something besides how much he fucking hated being alive for once, and then the jetii had to go and ruin it because she didn't know what a fucking sleepover was.
Or he was the one who didn't know. It didn't matter now. He looked like an idiot and she pitied him now, and that pissed him off even more. He didn't need some do-gooder's pity. He was a man, damn it! He was a beroya and the only living son of Jango Fett, the greatest bounty hunter that had ever lived. He didn't want the Tog bitch to sit blinking her big, sad eyes at him like he was a pathetic, three-legged street pup covered in fleas.
"No, I've got him, lift the lockdown. We didn't mean to be this long. Go ahead and get started, we'll be there soon." Tiarek was on a holocall with somebody but Boba couldn't hear the other side. "Come on, Bo'ika, time to go."
"In a minute!" Boba yelled back.
"Now." Tiarek turned the shower off and threw a scratchy towel at his face.
"Shabla bev'kovid," Boba mumbled under his breath as he toweled off.
"I heard that."
Boba toweled faster then wrapped himself up when he was done. Tiarek patted him on the back and led him out to the lockers. A set of Kaminoan cadet blues sat waiting for him on the bench.
Boba glared up at Tiarek. "Didn't have any blacks in your size," he smirked at him. "Hurry up. Ahsoka's having a heart attack."
"I don't care," Boba said darkly.
Tiarek looked at him, disappointed. "I do," he said softly.
Boba dropped the towel and reached for the blues. They were too big for him, he could already tell. He knew he was underweight but more importantly, without all of the genetic upgrades from the longnecks, he was just plain smaller than the other clones at the same physical age. Dad was half a head shorter than the grown-up troopers, and Boba was a perfect copy of him.
"What's that?" Tiarek was frowning at him; specifically, his ass.
Boba quickly yanked the oversized drawers up. "Nothing. Don't be bloody nosy." He hadn't meant to let him see the scar.
"Then why are you being cagey about it?" Tiarek asked with a raised brow.
"I sat on my knife, alright? It's embarrassing." Boba slipped his shirt on.
Tiarek leaned against the lockers. "Look, Boba, I know you've been through a lot since Jango died, but–"
Boba flinched at his dad's name.
Tiarek softened. "Just promise me that you're going to try. Nobody expects you to be a model cadet, but at least stop cussing her out every time you open your mouth."
"Fine," Boba mumbled. He tugged at the bottom of his tunic, trying to make it hang less awkwardly on his narrow shoulders.
"You can trust her. I promise you can. She's the best, right alongside Skywalker." Tiarek smiled sadly. "We're not just numbers to them. They truly do care for us. Ahsoka is my vod'ika, do you understand? You trust her just like you trust me."
Boba scoffed. "So much for vode an. You know, the meaning of the word doesn't change just because you use it to bloody adopt each other."
"Of course not." Tiarek blew air out of his nose hard, frustrated. "It just means I watch out for her, I teach her, I keep her alive. And she has my back in return, no matter what."
"Whatever," Boba said, looking away. Tiarek wasn't going to let it go until he agreed. "Fine. I'll stop being a dickhead to her, alright? Doesn't mean I trust her."
"Good man." Tiarek clapped his hand on his shoulder and guided him towards the door. "Let's go."
Boba felt his banzaii burger start to work its way up his throat as they walked back to the rec room. Should he tell Tiarek what he'd done? Boba didn't want him to hate him too, but he wasn't sure what he'd be angrier about; kissing Tano, or lying about it.
"What?" Tiarek was looking at him with those same knowing eyes Dad had when he knew Boba was squirming about something.
"I kind of…" Boba hesitated. "Fuck it. I kissed Tano and she's gonna make it sound like I just made a move on her out of nowhere and–"
"Hold on, hold on!" Tiarek went to one knee so they were eye level. "What are you on about?"
"Tano," Boba mumbled. "I kissed her. I thought she wanted it."
Tiarek was staring at him with his mouth open. "You did what?" he asked sharply.
"She said she was gonna go get pillows to have a proper sleepover, so," Boba shrugged. "Obviously I thought that meant she wanted to fuck. But she didn't know what that's what sleepover really meant because she's a Jedi, I didn't mean to piss her off."
"She… she didn't–" Tiarek stood and turned away, his hands on his head. "Boba, no." He turned, and Boba felt his heart sink into his guts at the look on his face.
"I didn't hurt her! I just kissed her, she didn't want it so I didn't push it–"
"Boba, who told you that a sleepover meant that?" Tiarek's voice was so sad that it made Boba flush, embarrassed all over again.
"Fuck, not you too." Boba turned away with a groan. Why was everyone so damn stupid? Why was he the only fucker under the roof who knew Basic? "Sleepover is when you want someone to sleep in your bunk, it's not a fucking slumber party like she thinks. Aurra told me what it meant when some asshole asked me in a bar on Nar Shaddaa–"
Tiarek sighed and huffed out a relieved laugh for some reason.
" –and then, you know, I started having sleepovers with her–"
Tiarek's face fell and he turned away with his fists balled up.
"Oh not you too, why is everyone such a damn prude?" Boba moaned, rolling his eyes. "I'm a year away from doing my verd'goten, I'm not a fucking baby."
Tiarek turned and he almost scared Boba with how angry he looked. "Listen to me," he said, going back down on one knee. "People might say sleepover to be cute, but that's not what it means. And if Dad knew that Aurra had done that to you he would have taken her skin off slowly, do you understand?" Tiarek grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. "She never should have been allowed within a mile of you."
Boba bit his lip. "You called him Dad," he said quietly. "You haven't called him that in a long time."
"I meant to say your dad." Tiarek flushed and looked away. "Not… I know, trust me."
Boba looked up. "Don't you remember–"
"There's nothing to remember," Tiarek said quickly. "It was just a few weeks, Bo'ika, okay? Don't get it mixed up again. We've been through this."
Yeah, they had, and every time Tiarek was more and more certain that whatever lie he'd been fed by Kal while he was recovering was the truth. "So I'm old enough to wet my blade, but not my dick?" he asked crudely, changing the subject.
Tiarek turned purple. "Yes," he growled.
Boba waved a dismissive hand at him. "Whatever you say, Tiarek."
"Come on." Tiarek stood. "And I told you to stop calling me Tiarek. That was never my name."
Boba resisted the urge to argue. It was pointless. If any part of Tiarek remembered, it was buried so deep down under the lies that it may as well have never existed at all.
"Now behave," Tiarek warned him, then opened the rec room door. Three unarmed clones sat lounging in their blacks inside a pile of pillows, couch cushions and sheets that had been built up into a tent. One of them was the medic that had rubbed that stink-ass bacta gel on him. Tano sat on the edge, cross-legged and pinch-faced. As soon as the door slid open she popped to her feet and rushed to Tiarek.
"Gar ru'hibii ner ad? Ne'din'kartay?" she snapped. "Rex, do you have any idea how scared I was to find him gone again?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize he was–"
"Gar johaar'i Mando'a?" Boba interrupted, stunned.
She raised a brow marking. "Waad'choruk," she said wryly. "Rex taught me."
Boba flushed and looked down. He should have expected that, if Rex had adopted her as a little sister.
"As I was saying, Boba here needed a shower, but I didn't know he was going to use half of the monthly ration for the whole GAR." Tiarek popped him gently in the shoulder.
Tano's shoulders slumped and she took a deep breath. "I'm sure he was just happy to take a water shower. I know the prison only has sonics." She bent down and looked him in the eye. "So. Ready for bed?"
Boba peered around her to look at the troopers reclining in her pillow fort. The one with the Galactic Roundel tattooed on his face looked unimpressed, the medic looked bored, but the final one with a tear on his cheek sitting cross-legged was practically beaming at him through his long hair.
"Why're they here?" Boba asked suspiciously.
"Well, since you've never had a real sleepover, I thought it might be fun to have one. And for a real sleepover you need friends, but you also need a pillow fort–" she turned and gestured to the limp tent, " –holofilms, and snacks." She held up a projector in one hand and a bag of nerf rinds in the other, smiling like an idiot.
Boba looked up at Tiarek, who shrugged. "Fine," Boba said dismissively.
"Great!" Tano dove into the tent between the long-haired one and the one who looked like he'd just bit into an unripe meiloorun. "I've already got the holo loaded. Get the lights, Rex."
Boba glanced at Tiarek, who did as he was told with a soft smile for Tano.
"By the way this is Jesse, Kix, and Tup," she added, pointing to each clone as he and Tiarek crawled inside the pillow fort. She and the three troopers were already squished together, cuddling like sleepwalking tubies. Tiarek stayed on the outside and Boba ended up sandwiched between him and the medic, Kix.
"Wizard," Boba said in a bored voice. "What are we watching?"
"March of the Porgs," Tano said cheerily.
"Finally!" Tup crowed.
"What do you mean finally? We just watched that on the way home from shabla Naboo," Jesse grumbled.
"Language," Tiarek drawled.
Boba snorted. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, seriously." Tiarek chuckled and pushed Boba's head down to his chest.
"Wait, Commander, you're sleeping over here?" Tup asked, looking confused. "You always sleep with Rex."
Boba froze. Wait, had he kissed Tiarek's girl? Why hadn't he shabla said that, why'd he go through the vod'ika banthashit instead of just saying he was screwing her? And where did Tiarek get off telling Boba that he was too young for it if he was shagging his own al'verde? Boba was older than all of them, except for Tano.
"Not tonight," Tano said nonchalantly. "Oh, by the way, Boba, you forgot somebody." Tano tossed Robert the Rancor at him over Kix, then started the projector.
Boba cleared his throat. "Thanks." He hugged Robert to his chest and adjusted a little so that he could fit the plushie in between him and Tiarek, hiding a small smile.
"There is a mysterious ritual that dates back thousands of years. No living creature has survived it, except the porg. They have wings but can barely fly. They're birds without beaks that act like clowns. And every year, they embark on a nearly impossible journey to find a mate. For twenty days and twenty nights, the porg will march…"
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Notes:
MANDO'A TRANSLATIONS ba'buir: grandfather Os'ika: Little shit (Cody's [affectionate!] nickname for Ahsoka, a pun on her normal diminutive of Ahs'ika [Little Ahsoka] ) dalgaan: bitch Har'chaak: damn it mishmure'cya: brain kiss, aka keldabe kiss shabla bev'kovid: fucking dickhead Gar ru'hibii ner ad? Ne'din'kartay?: You took my kid? Without telling me (lit. no sitrep)? Waad'choruk: Obviously (lit. diamond, colloquialism for "crystal clear") Al'verde: Commander TOYDARIAN TRANSLATIONS Wanjala?: Hungry? Ndimatafuna: I chew it Inde: Yes Nyanga zathanzi: Healthy horns Mwana: Baby Pepani: Sorry Chapino mwana: Okay baby Hule lopusa: stupid bitch HUTTESE TRANSLATIONS Chupanka keepa manmi: His tail is on backwards (Huttese colloquialism for someone acting irrationally) MAOR-GRÁSTA TRANSLATIONS sgudal fhaighean: garbage cunt OTHER NOTES I just really like it when Anakin speaks Toydarian okay. Also I mentioned this in another fic but he didn't learn Aurebesh until he was ten and he hates it so he types in all caps and doesn't like punctuation Yes, Boba refers to Rex as Tiarek in his head. We'll find out why just hang in there lol
Taglist: @starwarsficnetwork, @soliloquy-of-nemo Dividers: @saradika-graphics
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toxictoad · 5 months ago
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I have spent SO LONG on this. No background because all the ones I tried looked dumb. No shading for the ghosts because they're ghosts
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Not from a specific scene or anything. I just have brainrot from my own fic.
Things I have learned from this:
Jedi pants are very baggy
Obi-wan is way shorter than I thought he was
Coloring in exclusively shades of blue is annoying
The way that I have designed Dawn's mechno-hand is quite possibly the stupidest way to have done so
I still don't know how to shade things correctly
I categorically refuse to draw feet. You cannot make me
I like drawing fabric. It's fun
Anakin: He's been meditating for like six hours. Did he get that from me?
Mace: He most certainly did not Skywalker.
Shaak Ti: I still don't like him
Obi-Wan: Oh, come on. He isn't that bad
Shaak Ti: ...Kenobi he helped MURDER me
Obi-Wan: Hey, Anakin killed me and we're cool
Yoda: Ironic, it is. That your clone takes to Jedi teachings better than you
Anakin: I know, but hey
Dawn: You guys know that I can hear you, right?
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dragormir · 1 year ago
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Count Dooku, pt. 1
Mirjahaal Master Post
Dooku had often wondered, in his life, who would be the first of his lineage to die. Master Yoda had, of course, always been at the top of his list. He dearly loved his master, even if he claimed in public that he had distanced himself from both the Order and his lineage, but Yoda was ancient. He was easily as old as the cursed Reformation that had doomed the Jedi to a life of slavery and deprivation. If Yoda had passed into the Force while Dooku was on Serenno, he would have felt it, mourned, and moved on because he had accepted that the ancient Force wielder would die of old age - if the Force were ever brave enough to confront his awful glimmer stick, of course. 
To receive the news that it was his own beloved Padawan taken from him.... Dooku buried his face in his hands, willing his breathing to remain even as the Galactic Senate's representative droned on about the tragedy of Qui-Gon's demise and how surely this would bring Dooku back into the Senate's embrace so they could ensure he received the care his lineage would need in this trying time.... 
"That is enough," Dooku snapped, sharper than he had intended. It shut up the Senate's lapdog, though. "I have no more desire to hear of some failure from a lineage I have left. Tell the Senate not to bother me about this again." He cut the call off with an irritated wave of his hand, counted to twelve, and let out a harsh sob.
He and Qui-Gon had never been able to see entirely eye to eye, but he had raised that boy from childhood, had trained him and loved him and protected him as best he could from the Republic's cruelest actions. Qui-Gon was the son he had been denied by the Reformation and the Senate, the son he had never been able to cherish and care for as he ought to. And now his boy was dead.
He'd thrown himself from one of the spires, and Dooku could only guess as to his Padawan's thought process. He cursed his stupid, foolish, big-hearted boy for doing such a thing as he felt his heart shatter. Qui-Gon had left behind three Padawan of his own - one was a Master in his own right, and worked as an archivist. Feemor's heart had always been set on guarding the Temple, something the Force had called him to - but, like Qui-Gon's desire to explore and help people, and Dooku's own drive to excel at everything, from sabers to diplomacy, he had been denied his heart's calling. Then there was that spoiled little bastard, Xanatos, whom Qui-Gon had taken on out of pity, if only because no one else wanted to touch such a poisonous little toad. He had the protection of a powerful family, and one that was bizarrely delighted over the idea that one of their children was a Jedi. Either they were all brain-damaged, or Dooku was going to find blackmail in his biological father's archives about that family that would require bleach to wash away. 
And then there was little Obi-Wan. Not so little now, of course. Dooku had last seen him as a small boy, recently arrived from Stewjon. His own parents had tried to drown him - a mercy, of course, and one Dooku had guiltily wished they had been able to grant the sweet little boy more than once - and he had been terrified of water and bathing. Qui-Gon had taken him on as well, to Xanatos' intense disgust, and, for a time, Dooku had allowed himself to think that perhaps the Senate would just....leave them all alone.
Then Senator Valorum had discovered the little Padawan, and Dooku's world had shattered. Qui-Gon had been inconsolable when the Senate Guard had arrived to take his newest Padawan away, and even that little prick Xanatos had been in shock. Obi-Wan's return several hours later with pockets full of candies and several new stuffed toys, proclaiming that all the nice senator had wanted was to have Obi-Wan sit with him while he did paperwork, had failed to reassure any of them. 
Dooku cursed softly and reached blindly for the decanter on his desk, pulling the crystal stopper out with a little more force than necessary and, without bothering to reach for a cup, drank straight from the bottle. 
Qui-Gon had become overbearingly protective of his two Padawan after that. Dooku's escape years ago hadn't helped matters, and with his recent consolidation of power on Serenno - and, more importantly, over their hyperlane nexus - he was sure the Senate was incensed. Sith Hells, they had been furious. His majordomo had reported that his entire lineage, sans Master Yoda, had been doing some sort of "apology ritual" in the Senate rotunda for a fucking tennday. Dooku knew what that meant - kneeling on grains of rice or fine gravel until the Senate said you could stand, and Force gods but his own knees still ached from the one time he'd been forced to do that - and now.... 
His Padawan must have done something to anger the Senate. Dooku drank deeply from the decanter, not caring that the brandy was spilling down his neck as he drank. Perhaps not anger. No, Qui-Gon would tapdance on a Senator's grave and smile the whole time, uncaring of the consequences. 
No, Qui-Gon had done this in an effort to protect him. 
And Dooku could do nothing to aid the Jedi left behind.
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byteofsoup · 2 years ago
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My grandma's cat is named Yoda he's 16 and his elbows stick out to the side like a toad
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yoda
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