#Yes that's what I'm calling them deal with it

[starry-pierrot]

So I'm not one to usually come up with AU's let alone actually do anything with them, I work better with short stories and honestly I want to spend my time making my own ideas yet i fail to do that lmao

But an idea hit me. So Khan is an absent father right? Well what if he was actually over protective, like to a more grief ridden amount? Explanation under the cut!

Nori asking him as her final words to protect their daughter and he decides the colony isn't safe for her. But when he worked under humans he remembered another much smaller bunker, so he takes Uzi to the place and fixes it up. But...he puts her in a clear container. Or in this case 'These glass bullet proof doors will protect you!' sort of deal, idk I don't know how he'd do it or anything this all just jumbled into my head with no details. Anyway Uzi grows up with just her Dad and it honestly gets to her and pisses her off, she had no chance to make friends, she's alone here with just her Dad and her mom is gone. She misses Doll. But the bunker does have the one thing she hasn't seen in years, sunlight. Somehow her father missed the little beam of sun through a vent and every morning when he sleeps she stays up just a little longer just to look at it. Cue said Murder Drone cinnamon roll finding said weakness during a bad storm and finding Uzi. Her dad had been on a supply run, he's still in contact with the other bunker but refuses to stay with them. Yeva has taken over as leader and Khan refuses to tell her what happened to Uzi beyond 'She's fine! I'm keeping her safe!'. If she didn't have to run the Bunker she would go look herself, Doll on the other hand has a lot of time. ANyway-Uzi freaks out, N is curious about why she's trapped behind the glass and they of course become friends with N visiting on her dad's supply runs. He finds a packet of markers that surprisingly still work and with Uzi's own the two are drawing and coloring all over the clear container. Course she asks him to take her to the surface and he does much to the dismay of her father who tried to stop her and N but chaos and blah blah they get outside with Uzi now sporting her haircut from the show. I know from there it would sorta be canon compliant with the added bonus of V and J getting a new roommate that N has to smooth over with them, it would mostly follow the events while bringing back Doll's family. Tessa might be real Tessa. Love her. Probably continues on the camp episode right after the escape. Haven't decided if Nori told Khan about her solver and that Uzi might have it, sure with Nori she could handle it but with just him it would be hard to make sure she doesn't go feral. Might be a more concrete reason to lock her away. I don't know what I would call this, if I'm gonna continue working on it or what it will actually be. I could maybe write some one shots on it if I'm in the mood but if enough people like it I could try making a basic timeline? We'll see. And yes that one pic is a reference to draw with me.

[1toreyouapart]

The Lies We Tell

***FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. MDNI. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE***

Summary that tells you nothing: Sometimes everything you ever wanted has been right there, within reach, all along.

CW/TW: Angst, fluff, swearing, friends to lovers, jealousy, smut, fingering, PinV, pet names, friends with benefits, more to come as I actually get things written out.

Masterlist

First Encounter

Life had a funny way of happening sometimes. One moment you're crying in your best friend's arms, the next his lips are on yours and you're kissing him back like your life depends on it. And then everything comes to a standstill, and a week later neither of you can even look at each other. Over a stupid kiss. And your roommates and friends can feel the tension. See it. So much so that they all have mentioned it.

Quinn sighed, reaching across her bed for her phone. A week of sleeping, or rather not, in her own bed. Just a solid week of staring at the ceiling every night for hours on end. One week of Noah hiding in his room, not answering the door for her. Seven days of his bedroom door staying locked. Of hearing it creak open as she lay in her bed, wide awake, listening as he crept downstairs. An entire week of him avoiding her at all costs. Unanswered texts. Calls going straight to voicemail. No answering her knock on his door. Nobody joining her in the bathroom while she showered. He was just gone. And how was that fair? He had kissed her!

Her text from four hours ago had been read. No response. Just read. All that talk about how she deserved better and one stupid fucking kiss had him completely ghosting her? While she actively lived with him?! The fucking bastard.

Everything in her went cold. Leaving her phone on her bed she carefully climbed out of bed, avoiding the spots on her floor that creaked. He wanted to be a dick? Well, he could deal with the consequences instead of hiding.

With bated breath she tiptoed out of her room and across the hall. Slowly, carefully, she pressed her ear against his bedroom door, listening for signs of life. The faint sound of a movie starting reached her ears and she smiled. Caught him. With no hesitation she knocked, calling his name softly. No answer.

Frustrated she knocked and called his name louder. Still no answer. She knew it would be locked but she had to try anyway. The knob didn't turn. She wished she could blame rage for what she was about to do, but it was just hurt. He was the one person who never left. Never abandoned her. Always reminded her that life was worth living. And now he was acting like she didn't exist? After something he had initiated? That hurt more than anything.

"Noah!" She yelled, banging on his door. "I can fucking hear you! Answer me or I'm kicking the goddamn door down! You don't get to do this, too!"

Nicholas's door creaked open at the end of the hall, followed quickly by Noah yanking his bedroom door open and hauling her inside before he slammed it closed and locked it again. One look at him and she felt somewhat guilty. He looked like he'd barely slept, if at all.

"What the fuck, Quinn?!"

"You're seriously acting like I'm wrong here?! YOU kissed ME. And yes, I kissed you back! What the fuck of it?! It was a kiss, Noah!"

His large hand covered her mouth as he drug her over to his bed. Why in the fuck was he acting so paranoid? Quinn pushed him away, making a show of keeping her mouth shut as she sat on the edge of his bed. He wanted to play? She could play.

"Quinn. People are fucking sleeping. What the fuck?"

Noah dropped to his knees in front of her, his eyes pleading with her. For what she didn't know. But she watched as he repeatedly started to reach for her, then draw back. Noah had never been scared of touching her before. This was weird. Even for him.

"Seriously, Noah? You kiss me and then act like I don't exist? After telling me I deserve better? And then you go and act just like them? The fucking audacity!" She was yelling again. She didn't care.

Quinn watched as he drug his on hand down his face, rubbing his mouth. He was frustrated. Good. He deserved to be frustrated after this shit. Who did this over a stupid kiss? It wasn't like it had gone any further and crossed major friendship lines. Was she that fucked up that even a kiss was too much?

"Noah," she begged, her resolve breaking. "You're my best friend. It was just a fucking kiss. Please." Her voice shook, breath coming in short spurts. "I'm sorry I kissed you back? I'm sorry for whatever I did that made you this mad at me. I'm fucking sorry, Noah."

She completely dissolved. Clearly she had done something wrong. But what the fuck had she done?

"Quinn..."

"What did I do, Noah?!"

"Exist."

And then his lips crashed into hers, desperate. Pleading. She couldn't help but respond in kind, her fingers threading through his hair. Pulling him closer and closer still. They were all desperation and teeth and tongues, fighting for dominance. Just two people finally acting on the feelings they had always known were there. Desperate to be as close as possible, yet desperate to just consume each other.

Noah fisted his hand in her hair, the other gently caressing her cheek, his thumb resting just on the corner of her lips as he tugged, tipping her head back, gaining more access as her lips parted on a soft gasp. His tongue delved into her mouth, hungry, but gentle. Tasting every part of her. Memorizing every movement that made her moan. His free hand traveled slowly south, fingertips tracing over her throat, over her collarbone, hesitating at the swell of her breast.

Quinn tore her mouth from his, frustrated. Here he was, finally touching her, and he was stopping?

"Noah. I swear to fucking God," she pleaded.

"What do you want, baby?"

His eyes locked on hers and she saw everything there. Everything he had been fighting the last week. All the things he had been avoiding. This moment here. He wanted her. And he wanted her desperately. Just as much as she wanted him.

"Touch me," she begged, her voice barely above a whisper.

He broke then, his mouth attacking her throat, biting and licking and sucking. And she was helpless against him. They tumbled back on the bed together, pressure already building deep within her. His free hand quickly slid down, much further down than she anticipated or needed, resting on her bare inner thigh. His fingertips danced across her skin, tracing lazy patterns.

"Noah," she begged, pressing her body against his, feeling herself grow impossibly wetter by the second.

He didn't make her beg anymore. Deft fingers shoved her panties aside, a single digit rubbing lazy circles on her clit. The pressure deep inside her quickly turned into a tight band, ready to snap. She was so close already that she nearly panicked. It had never been this intense before, and he wasn't even inside her yet.

"Fuck," he groaned, slipping a single finger inside her. "You're so fucking wet. Jesus Christ, Quinn."

Everything was on fire. Her skin. Her lungs. One of those long fingers she'd admired for years was deep inside her, stroking her in just the right spot as it pumped in and out of her. And just when she thought it couldn't get any better he slipped another finger inside her, and she swore she blacked out for a second as he curled his fingers inside of her, applying more pressure to that spot deep inside her, his palm rubbing against her clit as he worked her with his fingers.

"You're close, aren't you?"

All she could do was moan desperately in response, her hips writhing against his hand. That band was growing tighter and tighter, and she was desperate for release from the pressure low in her belly. His forehead dropped to hers, holding her gaze, his pupils blown so wide with lust his eyes almost appeared black.

"Noah!" she called out his name as that band snapped, her hips stuttering as she clamped down around his fingers, her orgasm tearing through her.

"That's it, baby. There you go. That's my girl," he praised as her orgasm peaked, talking her through it, his fingers still pumping in and out of her, massaging her through it.

Dazed she watched as he pulled his fingers out of her, bringing them up to his lips. She watched, her heart leaping out of her chest as he sucked every drop of her off his fingers, eyes never leaving hers.

"Goddamn it, Quinn. You taste even better than I imagined."

Tag: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

[chronicsyd]

ok I KNOW I'm spam posting at this point and I don't mean to but can we talk about the Ingeniousness of the "Appointing a General" scene and how Ambessa essentially cornered Caitlyn into this role?

Because despite what people are saying, Caitlyn did not skip up there like "Ohh power! Awesome! Gimme!", this is a decision that she was Forced to make (unlike if the role was given to say, Salo, because he was already starting to lift himself up, ready for Ambessa to give him his glory. He Wants power, he Craves it).

And you can see it from the Moment Ambessa calls out her name. The first emotion to appear is shock, clearly she wasn't expecting her name to be brought up. Wide eyed, she can see these families that Have Influence (because that's who Ambessa Specifically told Salo to bring) start to nod in approval, because like Salo said, the Kiramman name bewitches people, that's All it takes to get them to agree. She's taking rapid breaths as Ambessa and the Noxian soldiers start to pound their chests, her eyes are shaking, almost like she's about to have an anxiety attack with having the spotlight thrust upon her in such a way. She looks down, almost as if trying to ground herself.

But then she notices Maddie on her right, pounding her chest as well, smiling up at her. Which in turn, causes her fellow Enforcers to nod and start pounding their chests as well. Everyone Else in the room (with the exception of Salo) Wants this from her, they Expect her to "make the right choice", and it's at that point where saying "no" is no longer an option for her, not with the crisis they're dealing with, But more importantly, not with the Status of her Name. And she looks back up at Ambessa, making eye contact again. That's when she tells Caitlyn to "come, child."

In the way you watch Caitlyn walk up to her, her face is completely numb. she's not walking up there with a smile, her face shows almost no emotion at all. and when Ambessa leans in to swear her mother justice, she simply wears a blank stare, there's no look of anger or determination or anything, I'd say it looks like she's disassociating. what's also interesting is after Ambessa's done speaking and Caitlyn turns back around, there's no sound. the Enforcers and Noxian soldier's are still pounding their chests, you can see it, but you can't hear it, which as someone who disassociates a lot from anxiety is exactly what happens when you’re that overwhelmed. It remains silent as Caitlyn raises out her hand, Ambessa watching in anticipation, before the final sound is Caitlyn hitting her own chest, the wind whistling quietly behind her. but one thing to also bring up is specifically When she turns around, because her face does change, and that's apart of her looking like she's holding herself together that we've seen from her throughout the Entirety of this act. looking like she isn't bothered by this, that she's willing to accept this new responsibility placed on her shoulders. compare that to the look she was Just wearing, that face says more "resigned to my fate", she isn't being given a choice here, not really.

This entire thing is an internal struggle for her. Because yes, she still craves revenge against Jinx, but is THIS really the way she wants to go about it? Because despite what Caitlyn's done herself, she hasn't been thrown an Army and been Expected to lead a War against Zaun, this is entirely new territory that she's walking into. And now, she's no longer allowed to back down.

Ambessa using peer presser to get Caitlyn to do what she wants, what a Genius. and what an ASSHOLE (yes I’m pissed at Ambessa and can’t Wait for Caitlyn to rain hellfire down on her once she realizes what she’s pulled).

[boy-gender]

How do you deal with guilt around being a man, and like generally feeling like you're "betraying women" or choosing to be something bad by transitioning? It's something I've really been struggling with..

I sort of have two answers for you.

The first is a bit glib, but I think you've got some bioessentialism to unlearn, anon. I know that it's probably not a belief you arrived at yourself- rather, a bunch of hateful radfem douschebags have so often repeatedly said shit like that, that you're a traitor, you're failing feminism, youre just trying to escape the patriarchy, you're mocking what women are, men are evil and youll become evil especially with testosterone. That kind of crap.

Genuinely I do not give it any thought. It's ridiculous on the surface, so I write it off as misguided and inane. There is no logical way to justify grouping an entire half of the population together, deciding that the one thing they have in common (being men) is somehow the defining trait about them (because nothing else is being taken into account, like their sexuality, ethnicity, trans or intersex status, poverty level, where they live, whatever) and then also deciding that one common trait is the root of all evil. I've personally had a lot of experience with people doing this with certain mental illnesses- particularly cluster B personality disorders- and deciding like "yes this one thing about you makes you evil. You have Evil Person Disorder," and seeing how stupid that was, I just applied it elsewhere. Humans are far too diverse, nuanced, and contradictory for any flat rule like "all X people are bad" to ever be accurate. If it's not accurate, it's not useful, so I don't judge myself by it. I literally just block the people spewing that shit and let it slide off like water on a duck. I have enough warped internalized beliefs from my upbringing- I'm not adding more when I can immediately and obviously see their flaws.

So my advice is to block anyone you see saying that shit. You might be beginning to internalize it because of just how often you see it- so you need to cut that off at the source. Radfems are not and never will be allies; they do not have "some good points." Their movement was specifically designed by conservatives to uphold white supremacist capitalism, and nothing that comes from that is ethically correct. I'd suggest picking up Mothers of Conservatism by Michelle Nickerson. A lot about the origins of the radfem/female separatism movements are detailed there, created by fundamentally conservative women. With this new 4B movement shit on the rise, it's helpful to understand how fucked up and wrong they've always been from the beginning. My second answer to you is to look at what manhood means to you. If you don't think you can be objective about this, ask a friend to help. List the traits you associate with what *you* personally want to be as a man, what you hope you transition towards. Do you want to be a financial provider? Do you want to defend your community? Do you want to be generous? Brave? Do you want to be an expert in a special interest? Do you want to make lots of friends?

Make a list of those traits. Then look at them, divorced from the idea of gender. Is being a financial provider "bad?" Is being generous bad? Or brave? Or having lots of friends? Are any of these things bad in isolation, or does your guilt about them come from their association with manhood? Is that /your/ association, or did other people cause you to think there is an association?

For me, I had two formative male relationships as a child. My father, and my maternal grandfather. My father was an abusive piece of shit who liked to pick me up by the throat and slam me into walls, threaten our pet cats, scream at me until I dissociated, called me slurs, hated my opinions on anything, belittled me, believed only in capitalism, is a social darwinist capitalist schill, hates my mom, treated me like a servant and punching bag, and is a miserable fuck with no friends.

My grandpa was an old man who loved scotland and tartan and scottish terriers even though he never had one, loved each of his cats which he had all the time. He collected coins and read about history, he made model planes. He watched judge judy with me and talked about the cases and if we agreed with her rulings; he watched the news from multiple different outlets a day and taught me to weigh them against one another. He loved sitting on the porch and watching neighborhood kids play, and he drank a lot of lemonade. He was a brilliant chemist, provider, raised 4 kids in near poverty, then raised 8 grandkids after that. He would sneak me chocolate malt balls as a "vitamin" and he would tease my grandma by pretending to pick up and lick his plate after dinner. He taught my uncle to garden who then taught my cousin, so all my life gardening has been "mens work" to me. He was soft spoken, curious, patient, and mischevious. He loved my grandma for 60 years until he died.

These men have nothing in common except that they were men. Being a man didnt make my grandpa evil because he chose not to be. Being a man didnt make my dad evil either; he's an evil fuck because he made that choice. They are both sentient beings, who can use logic and emotions alike. One chose poorly. It never made sense to me as a child to assume all men would be like my dad or like my grandpa, because they were both men and they weren't at all like each other. Some categories are just so broadly diverse that they aren't really helpful- if I ask you to picture a mammal, do I mean a monkey or a mouse? Does "sea creature" mean a giant ass blue whale or a tiny piece of plankton? "Man" as a category is too broad to make assumptions about. I know it sounds circular and reductive, but the only thing that makes someone a man is...being a man. Nothing else.

I find it helps to look at a diverse array of men, to see all that men can be, especially men not like myself or the men I know. What does it mean to be a man in rural Yunnan farm country? What did it mean to be a man in medieval europe? What is it like being a gay black man from california, or a hunter living off the grid in appalachia? What does it mean to be a man in a culture where long hair is masculine, or where harvesting plants is masculine, where being a doctor is masculine? What about cultures where adornment is masculine? Hell, what about animals? What's it like to be a male lion vs a male house cat? What do I think about male cardinals, who are the bright lovely red ones, whose color is meant to draw a predators eye to them and away from the female cardinals and their nests?

To me, gender is an all you can eat buffet. It's customizeable. You can pick up or ignore or throw away any traits you want or don't want. Grab things that are feminine in your culture and incorporate them into your manhood in a subversive, gender nonconforming way. Take things that are masculine that make you happy, that you're reclaiming in a way because you may not have been allowed to do/be them before. Fill your gender with the ideals and aesthetics you like. You are fundamentally changing manhood by being a man, by being a different kind of man than any other man. If there are 4 billion men on the planet, there are 4 billion different 'microgenders' of man.

Seems silly to write off an entire 4 billion people as inherently evil and incapable of either goodness or change. It's just illogical. For me, that's enough to discard the idea wholecloth. If it doesn't make sense, I'm not wasting my time with it. That's not an ability everyone else has easily though, so you take the time you need. Try to look at yourself as objectively as possible, as an outsider. As you transition, have your actions become more evil? Are you committing sexist acts? Have you literally betrayed all the women you know somehow? Do you feel yourself becoming less kind, less patient, less interested in equality or the preservation of life? I'm betting, since you're nervous about it enough to ask, that none of those things are happening to you. Do not let yourself be gaslit into believing you are becoming something you're not. Look at your actions, your words. Look at your values and how you live up to them. If you don't see any sudden discrepancy, then you know anyone who tells you you're becoming evil by becoming a man is straight up lying to you. They're projecting an idea onto you that doesnt fit reality; trying to put a round peg in the square hole. Be curious, be objective. Do not be misled, and for those who try to mislead you, hit them with a chunky block button.

[sevikas-biceps]

[TLDR: me rationalising and then ranting about why Caitlyn and Cassandra are both in the wrong]

Y'all. We love Cait, and we do stan Cassandra in some regards—but be fucking for real. Think of them as real people, in the real world, doing real things. Y'all would hate them. I'm putting Cait's gay love and Cass' gay support aside—because I really do feel like a lot of people gloss over their flaws just because of the queer rep and allying.

Think of it. The Kiramman's ventilation system was the bare fucking minimum being done for the people of Zaun. Caitlyn weaponising it is literally a violation of human rights practices. We know how privileged Topside is, we know there are at least sympathetic characters out there—and both of these are true for the Kirammans. What does this imply? That the Kirammans were essentially one of those at the top of the hierarchy, and this put them in a complete position of ability to help.

But they didn't. That's the issue, people.

One of the previous matriarchs putting the vent system into place was to solve the matter of the air pollution, yes—but arguably, the people of the Undercity shouldn't have had to deal with that problem to begin with. Cassandra might've been aware it existed; she gave her daughter the key, after all. However, that does not mean she actively came to the aid of the people of Zaun. Hell, do you think she was even aware of Silco, for instance? At the beginning? Maybe she'd've heard whispers from informants, about some old peacekeeper people called the Hound, and then about some mysterious tycoon taking his place. Maybe Grayson said something about the Undercity's concerns in the past, during the time of the first insurrection, but the Council took no note of it. Maybe Cassandra had someone else in place to make her dealings, if ever she dabbled in that black market shit.

Whatever else you can think of with that line of thinking; at the end of the day, it just proves that Cassandra herself was only another person stuck in the cycle—she did her job, she was cunning and selfish, she played the game. It's just business. It's just politics. No more, no less. The original line-up on the Council had members that were either ignorant, negligent, or corrupt (and yes; that includes Heimerdinger, Mel, and Jayce you guys)—and Cassandra was no better. Again, they all were part of the same damn cycle to begin with.

What makes Cassandra remarkable as a character—to us, the audience—is that she's remembered as someone redeemable because of her love for her family, for Caitlyn; that she was willing to try for her daughter's sake and happiness. Caitlyn. Not the city, not her kid's new girlfriend, and most certainly not Zaun. Above all else, it boils down to her little girl. Her only child. Cassandra being on the Council meant that she could give that child the best life that she could; Cassandra being on the Council meant that the child has a future. It implies that peripherally, she was aware of the Undercity's issues—hence the little frustrations exchanged about Caitlyn becoming an officer and venturing into the Undercity in Season 1.

That's her redeeming quality. Duty for family.

[If you want a visualisation of her actual nature, I'd honestly recommend using Olenna Tyrell, Tywin Lannister, and Jon Arryn from ASoIaF/GoT as points of reference.]

Now, onto Caitlyn herself. Credit where credit is due; the girl is in the middle of grieving, and she's being denied the chance to have even that. She doesn't deserve that. No one does. It would be unfair to deal her an amount of resentment for going unstable, when we'd all been rooting for Jinx for half of the same reasons in Season 1. But that's the issue: half of the same reasons.

Let's be honest for a quick second here. Do we really think Caitlyn would've ever gone down to the Undercity had Jinx never attacked on Progress Day? With someone like Marcus hot on her trails, if he lives in this hypothetical alternate reality, I imagine she wouldn't even be placed near the bridge(s) to begin with. And if, in canon, he'd survived the explosion, I can also see Caitlyn being put on house arrest—because if Marcus himself is outed as working with Silco (similar to how Grayson did with Vander), then that's all the more reason to keep the Kiramman heiress away from danger, or worse, death. If things are so bad that the Sheriff, symbolically a paragon of justice and protection, resorted to consorting with the enemy...well, what then? What does that say about the system? What does that say about Piltovian society?

Back to Caitlyn. I'm a firm supporter of the idea that she never would've been put into a potential line of fire had life gone on normally. If Jinx never stole the hexcrystals, then Caitlyn would have no reason to snoop around; Vi is still in Stillwater, Silco is at large, and so on and so forth. Caitlyn remains largely ignorant of the world she lives in. It's noble that she genuinely wanted to help people. But in a place like Piltover? She'd be worse than Jayce when Season 1 began. I'm sure she'd no doubt notice the surrounding manipulations in her life, or how flawed their reality could be—but the point is, at the end of the day, it's still a privileged life that she leads.

Let that word sink in. Privileged. This isn't to disparage her original desire to make her society a better place—I do think that Caitlyn has the potential to do so if she exerted her efforts into long-term developments that could fulfil that vision. But this is where it gets tricky��especially in the context of Season 2. She had all of those resources at her disposal. She was aware of the consequences in using them—how it might affect civilians, innocents. And she still did so anyway. Strike one.

For all that she was a decorated officer, it's really the personal vendetta against Jinx that made her unfit to lead the strike team to begin with. I imagine Vi refused the enforcer position at first not just because of her and her people's history with the authority, but because it's so blatant that doing so enabled Caitlyn to act in her anger. By accepting the badge, Vi validated Caitlyn's need for vengeance. Not that Caitlyn is unreasonable in wanting such a thing, mind, but what is unreasonable was how tone-deaf she'd become in the process of grieving, forgetting that it's not just her own interests on the line, but others' too. Strike two.

There's nothing wrong with Caitlyn at the beginning—the girl just wanted so solve a crime. But then circumstances came up. And then, all of a sudden, she has to choose between duty or self-interest. What the show does is that it gives a convenient solution for Caitlyn to be able to serve both her duty and her own self-interest(s): invade/scour Zaun, she catches a criminal and delivers justice for the Council; find Jinx, Cassandra is avenged and Vi may find closure. The fight at Janna's temple is where it all indeed goes to shit, as we can see, and that's where Caitlyn really slips off in my opinion. She'd toed the line when she asked Vi to wear the badge—but it's really when Isha (a child) got involved and later on when she struck Vi herself (a betrayal), that her motives get warped. Strike three.

My main argument is that Cassandra and Caitlyn were both in the wrong, in one way or another, albeit for different and varied reasons. The former didn't do enough for the situation at hand, and the latter seems to be doing too much at once. Cassandra herself seemed to have enabled her daughter's worse traits, too, whether directly or indirectly; and this is what makes up much of the character that we see Caitlyn evolving into.

There are many aspects of both mother and daughter that have always been there, or, at least, have had the potential to be there, such as: the ruthlessness, the narrow focus, the determination, the strictness—and, most of all (and I have a feeling this is going to be controversial), the hypocrisy. We know, for a fact, that Caitlyn and Cassandra are at least self-aware. To merely label them as naïve or inexperienced (to life) is a gross disservice to their characters. On some level, they're cognisant of their status and ability in society (evidenced by baby!Cait's scepticism regarding Grayson's trophy, and Cass' agreement to support their case at the Council meeting)—and they both have exacted measures in the face of what is demanded of them.

This is the reason that Caitlyn weaponising the Grey, using the Kiramman's ventilation system, is more or less unforgivable. Just because it had Vi's hesitant approval, it didn't make it right. Vi counts as an unreliable narrator in this case—when we know that she, in multiple instances, easily caves when someone she's attached to doubles down on her.

We, as the audience, can at least agree on the moralities regarding the authorisation of the strike team; and that means that we, as people analysing the show, can also agree that the effects of an act such as using the Grey can be devastating. We see this in Viktor's chronic illness, we see this with Silco's asphyxiation trick on the Chembarons, we see this when Jinx knocks out Sevika, we see this in Cassandra's notes. Stop trying to downplay the Grey. Stop trying to justify a fucking war crime. 'Oh, but it's just knock-out gas'—baby, no it's not. It's really not. Smeech explicitly says this: factory smoke trapped underground. Smoke. It's still gas. There's no safe way of administering it in high doses. That's like smoking Marlboro Reds taken beyond the extreme, and fuelled by gasoline of all things.

I'm not villainising Caitlyn, but some of y'all also need to stop excusing what she did—and I'm saying this because a lot of you also did the same with Jinx in Season 1. For the lack of a better example; it's very much like excusing what serial killers of the past had done because they were 'interesting' or 'charming' or hell, relatable. Be Gay, Do Crime is most definitely not applicable here, you guys. Seriously.

That is literally the reason Vi snaps at Caitlyn after the fight with Jinx. Why are you the one acting like her? It's not just a comparison between Caitlyn and Jinx, it's not just vendetta against vendetta; in a broader context, Vi is asking: Why are you resorting to the same acts of terrorism? Why are you enforcing the same tactics your predecessors used? Why are you turning into what you once swore not to become? Why are you doing this? What are you turning into?

Vi asked Caitlyn to promise her not to change. But she did.

Why are you betraying yourself?

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

I don't understand how anyone can be Team Black after Blood and Cheese. Like how.

I mean, that's easily answered. Rhaenyra didn't co-sign Blood and Cheese. It was literally all Daemon.

At this point it's clearer than ever that when it comes to morality and likability, Team Liquorice has a weak link and that weak link is Daemon. Sure, he's fun to watch because he's endlessly complex and Matt Smith is a treasure, but he's objectively the worst person on Rhaenyra's team and while he might be a powerhouse, he's also unpredictable, disobedient, and dangerous. Frankly, I don't think he's worth the trouble.

I loved the cameos of Milly Alcock and Paddy Considine, how this season called Daemon on his crap. How Rhaenyra finally acknowledged that she was groomed, that she was an impressible teenager who looked at Daemon and thought "I can fix him."

But yeah, Blood and Cheese was senseless and horrific. It's actually far worse in the book, but even in the show canon. "What if we can't find him?" What...what do you mean. The job is literally just to kill Aemond. Why would you even ask "What if we can't?" And why wasn't the answer simply "Then you don't get your gold." Seriously. If you "can't find" him...keep looking? Set up shop for a few days, playing servants in the castle, and wait for your chance to strike? It's so stupid. Why did it matter which child was the boy? Just kill them both, and Helaena while you're at it. Or hell, go back to the Throne Room and snipe Aegon. He's drunk, vulnerable, and out in the open!

Blood and Cheese was honestly fumbled pretty badly in the show. In the book, it's basically The Dance's version of The Red Wedding. I know they want Alicent and Criston to feel responsible for it, but hijacking one of the most important events in the war for a random sex scene between them was just...not where it's at. I genuinely believe that if they had depicted it more accurate to the books...Rhaenyra would have lost a lot of the fandom.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[mashmouths]

so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell

[floralovebot]

and yknow when i say that koryak should've lived and him and garth should've become besties i don't mean that they would have a perfectly healthy cute brother relationship. i mean they should've trauma bonded aldhg

garth and koryak are two very different people, who lived very different lives, and have very different opinions of arthur. if the two of them were forced to bond in any capacity, it would be messy and petty! koryak would continue to be upset that arthur wasn't there for him in his youth and jealous that he raised a kid who wasn't even his. and if koryak stuck around, we'd see more negative emotions from garth ie him being upset/jealous/worried that arthur now has another biological son. it wouldn't be rational from either side, and garth would definitely try his best to be nice, but both of them have reasons to not like or trust the other.

that being said, at the core of it, their emotions stem from the same issue. they both just want to be arthur's son. and while i do think it would take a lot of time, eventually they'd be forced to see the other's perspective and realize that the other is just as jealous as they are. koryak may have missed out on having a bio father in his life but... so did garth. garth worries that arthur doesn't see him as a true son but... so does koryak. yes, they've had very different upbringings, but they also have the same fears and worries regarding arthur. and personally, i think it would've been more interesting to see them reconcile and bond over that.

maybe koryak would be brave enough to ask garth what his childhood was like under arthur's care. maybe garth takes the time to ask about kako or his culture. maybe he even tells koryak the truth about what happened with jr. maybe koryak starts to get upset on garth's behalf that arthur raised him but didn't even see him as a son, and had the audacity to say it to his face while trying to kill him. maybe garth gets upset on koryak's behalf because arthur keeps pushing him aside and treating him like an untrustworthy stranger.

and yknow maybe they never become friends or talk to each other... but they still understand each other, they still yearn for what the other had, and they're increasingly more disappointed in how arthur treats his family. i think that would've been nice and more narratively satisfying than koryak dying.

[ectonurites]

SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR KEVIN PHILLIPS

[softquietsteadylove]

Okay I’m glad we can cry about the vow au together, because if Thena’s going to keep remembering things when her sweet and precious Gil makes her a treat I might just never stop asking for it 😭 would love to read more, whatever you think comes next i’m happy to read!!!

"Sweetie?"

Thena looked up from her pillow. She looked particularly miserable, which made sense; she had never done well when sick. "Hm?"

Gil stepped into the guest room with his tray in hand. He nudged the door closed before setting it down on the dresser, "how are you feeling, hon?"

Thena blinked her glassy green eyes at him, "I'm sorry to make you take care of me like this."

Gil just shook his head. She had no memory of him nursing her back to health when a flu took her down hard after their first trip together. Her first cold with him as a couple when she kept insisting he couldn't see her with her runny nose and blotchy fever skin. Even when she had some bad periods that could make her growly.

She thought of herself as a real lioness, but he couldn't help but think of a plush, ragdoll cat who kept hissing at him.

He leaned forward, kissing her clammy forehead. "I think your fever's broken, at least. Did you get a little rest?"

Thena just nodded, pulling up her knees under the covers so he could sit on the edge of the bed. "Did you apologise to Ajak for me?"

"Hey, come on, people get sick, it happens," he chuckled as he patted her knees. "I have some time off to use, and she understands. They can do without me for a few days."

"I don't know how true that is," she muttered as he retrieved the tray. She straightened her legs again so he could stand it up over her lap. "Your customers will be missing out on your perfect croissants."

He grinned, offering her the mug of tea first. "And my seasalt vanilla fours?"

Thena's smile turned soft and a little shy. He was elated, though--ever since their first date and their kiss, he had been excited to see how they would continue to progress their relationship.

"Here," he whispered, adjusting the platter he had brought with him. "I made you some homemade chicken soup, nothing too heavy. I boiled the chicken in the broth, like Hainanese chicken rice. I gave you a little side of rice if you wanna dip it in the broth, but don't force yourself. Some cucumbers, but they're not pickled because I don't think it's good for you if you're sick--I guess I don't really know."

Thena tilted her head at him, her hair rustling against one of the many pillows propping her up. She kept insisting she looked awful, but he thought she looked as beautiful as always. "Thank you."

He sighed a little, trying not to make it obvious that he was mourning a time when this would be natural for them. But he adjusted the little cilantro flower he included on her napkin, "in sickness and in health, right?"

Thena's expression changed, but she gave him one of those gorgeous smiles that used all her teeth and picked up her spoon, "I suppose you're right."

Gil looked around the room, standing to pick up the extra blanket she had picked off in her sleep, as well as some pajama changes. It was hard to tell how messy she could be at times based on the polished appearance of his wife, but he liked picking up after her (most of the time).

"Gil?"

He looked back at her as he folded up the blanket. She had her big sad kitten eyes on again. "What's up?"

"You're not going to sit with me?"

His face split into a grin, even if she seemed a little sheepish about it. He knew it wasn't something she would ask easily, and obviously she had kind of just let it slip. But he all but dropped the blanket and threw himself onto the bed again. "Of course I am."

Thena settled against the pillows again after he gave her knee a squeeze on his way to lying on his side to face her. "Did you eat?"

"I grazed while I was cooking," he excused easily. He'd had some rice and a few pieces of chicken, mostly concerned with getting the flavours right for Thena's weakened state.

Thena eyed him, nudging the dish of rice he had specifically described as optional, "I won't eat it all anyway."

That was true, she tended to eat less in terms of the starch of any dish. Gil chuckled, "okay."

Placated by him picking up the rice and using the chopsticks, she continued using the spoon to sip the broth. She was delicate about it. It reminded him of the first time they'd gotten ramen together--she'd held her hair back while taking delicate little bites the whole time. He'd found it unbearably cute while he'd guzzled his back in minutes. Of course he ordered another bowl so she wouldn't have to eat alone.

Thena's eyes watered a little, but he squinted. Was it just the general sickness, was it her fever coming back, was there too much ginger? She sniffled, putting the spoon down. "I know this taste."

Ah, his sweet wife. He put the rice down gently before reaching for her hand. "I make it for you every time you're sick. You know how to make it too."

"I do?" she asked, staring at him as if he'd suggested she knew rocket science. "Me?"

"Yes, you," he reached out to tap her nose, but she leaned away from him. "All you do is add the aromatics to the pot with the whole chicken, even you can do it."

"Hm," she remarked quietly, staring at the meal she couldn't believe she would be capable of replicating.

"I made it for you the first time you were sick when we were dating," he continued, picking up some cucumber for himself. "I surprised you with it, showed up at your doorstep--very romantic, y'know."

She gave him a look, definitely knowing that she - in the story - hadn't appreciated being ambushed.

"You told me I shouldn't have and that you looked awful, but I couldn't have been more in love with you," he sighed, fluttering his lashes at her. She rolled her eyes, but he could see her smiling just a tiny little bit. "I delivered this dish and we hung out a little. You told me I would get sick, I said I wouldn't, and you were totally right, I got sick the next day."

She tilted her head the other way and raised her eyebrows at him, unimpressed to say the least.

He shrugged though, still grinning. "But I didn't want to admit it, so I told you I was healthy as a horse and couldn't make our date that week because of a work emergency."

"Deceitful," she murmured, pursing her lips at it.

"Come on, just a harmless little lie, y'know," he pursed his lips right back at her, even hitting her with his own sad puppy eyes.

She looked back into the bowl and took a loud sip. He would take that as him being forgiven. "I remember you coming over."

"Really?" he sat up straighter.

She nodded, taking another, slower, quieter sip. "No one had ever done that for me before. I was so astounded. And the food was so good it made me want to cry."

"No crying," he whispered, keeping his eye on her now, watching for tears. Not that it wasn't a chef's dream to have people cry from their food, but this was different.

"Kari called me to ask how I was doing," she smiled more at the memory as it came to her. They were coming more often and at greater length. It was nothing if not encouraging. "I told her that this very sweet guy I was seeing brought me some homemade chicken rice. She practically slapped her phone in her hurry to tell me to 'lock it down'."

Gil made a face, stroking the hair on his chin, "she's wise."

Thena shook her head at him again, but he could tell she was falling for his charm all over again. "I suppose I followed her advice, didn't I?"

So much came to mind, but Gil leaned forward to kiss her forehead again, which continued to feel cooler to the touch, "I'm lucky you did."

Thena leaned into his affection. She had gotten more used to it as they continued to explore their relationship, and he really had the feeling that she was looking for more sometimes. He would save that for a time when she wasn't ill.

"You keep eating," he encouraged, moving the rice closer to her again in hopes of tempting her.

"But-"

"I'll get a bowl for myself and come right back," he promised, sealing it with a wink and everything. His wife gave him another look of feigned exasperation, but she was already waiting for his return, preciously clutching her rice to eat with him.

[cakemoney]

i don't want to put my uninformed foot in my mouth or get involved with the Discourse but i've been seeing the two extremes of reactions to the korean low birth rates issue (on tumblr and twitter both) and i'm just kind of like. look. i feel like "low birth rates (in many countries but especially japan and korea as part of this conversation) are more broadly the result of capitalism/a culture of overwhelming overwork that makes social relationships and having families incredibly inaccessible to young people" and "low birth rates are very much a part of the current conversation about misogyny and social expectations for women in korea especially in the context of reproduction as 'unpaid labor' for women" are statements that can both be true

[sparky-is-spiders]

Heeeey. So. You remember my little Jonstalking accounting office comedy fic? Yes? No? Well I was thinking about how bad I am at writing emails and then I wrote this instead of either of the two really really important emails that I need to write as soon as possible.

Word of warning: this is barely edited. Probably it makes sense if you haven't read the first fic? But maybe it doesn't. Idk. They're in an office. Jon is obsessed w/ Elias to a bizarre and unhealthy degree.

Anyway. Uh. Enjoy?

The thing about emails, Jon thought with great bitterness, was that they required so much unnecessary nonsense. In an ideal world, Jon would be sent a file with a short, no-nonsense explanation of what it was and what he was meant to do with it, which he could then send back without any pointless toff that only served to waste everyone's time. It was degrading. (It also, sort of, made Jon feel as if he was taking a test he had never studied for in a degree everybody else had a PHD in.) Tragically, just about every job on the planet required them on occasion, and also if he didn't complete and submit this particular file by the end of the day, he would probably be penalized. Unable to put it off any longer, he opened Microsoft Outlook with the expression, posture, and exact emotions of a man facing the gallows. The social script for an email, as best as Jon could tell, was as followed:

Standard Greeting. Jon preferred to default to an inoffensive hello. (Elias preferred 'dear,' followed by the name of the employees or departments being contacted. Jon thought it was far more emotional vulnerability than he would be comfortable showing to others.)

Irritating Small Talk. Jon usually skipped this step. (He had tried it exactly three times and each time he had wanted to cut off his fingers. He could just never make it sound natural. Or care about the topic. Elias was overly fond of it, and yet never managed to let anything slip either time Jon tried it with him. (Slick bastard.) (What is he hiding?))

The Subject of the Email (with lengthy explanation and seamless transition attached, of course). Jon had found this part especially challenging, mostly because he couldn't simply attach a file and call it a day. (Elias was (naturally) quite talented in this arena. Jon had dedicated a section of his notebook to copying and analyzing several of his emails, but has gleaned little knowledge of the craft and even less of Elias himself.)

The Conclusion. Jon usually gave up by that point. A simple "regards" was all he had the patience for. (Elias also used "regards" often, but usually also had some segway or conclusion to make it clear that you had reached the end of the message. He also included a long, fancy signature, which was near identical to the signatures Jon had seen in emails from other managers.) It took him just over ten minutes, several aborted attempts at sounding like a human person who was not being held at gunpoint and forced to follow appropriate social rules, and ultimately giving up on writing something acceptable to send it in. Jon allowed himself a few brief moments to bask in the knowledge that the message was sent, and another would not be demanded of him for at least the rest of the day. It was a cold comfort.

[tenok]

.

[asterdeer]

video called "pirate shirt tutorial that actually makes sense" with a thumbnail clickbaitingly copying bernadette banner's style, which does the exact same thing as bernadette banner's video but more confusingly and without a diagram in the video itself, also failing to understand that bernadette banner's channel is primarily a history channel and not a sewing tutorial channel so telling people they don't have to hand-sew the pirate shirt or they don't have to thread-pull is unnecessary because bernadette banner literally said "do this however you want, i just do it this way because it's how i learn about historical dress practices" in her own video. couldn't ask for better youtube entertainment

[lisbonsteresa]

oh it's horrible; i love it