#Yes i know Lewis is the only one without her full name

[beepbeepinthecorner]

So i wasn’t gonna draw all of them, but i did lol. I know i posted Lewis and Beck earlier but it felt wrong to post all of them separately ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[watchtowerindistress]

for the love of ... bob? - jake seresin x reader (2/2)

Summary: Being Jake's (best) friend - sorry, Javy - proved to have its ups and downs but there was something about having him in your corner you couldn't resist. Jake and you just clicked on a deeper level. That's why you didn't get it when the Southern boy was acting so weird.

Word count: 6.9k

Warnings: Jealous! + Soft!Jake, fluff, language, kinda angsty, kinda mean!Jake

Author’s note: I haven't seen Anyone but You (I just get the icky when I see two blondes on screen), so I took Glen's sentiment that he's not the best singer 🤷🏻‍♀️ Is it obvious yet that I really like Lewis/Bob? 😏 Who knew that I would write a Jake story and have Bob's name mentioned soooooo many times to get Jake to freak out? This chapter made me realize ... maybe I'm not good with painting a scene when I feel more comfortable just writing the banter/dialogue because at times I'm just more "clinical" when it comes to narration and I just want to get to the point. 😅

No words can describe how much everyone's reactions moved me. Especially how so many people reblogged this fic. Keep on doing what you're doing, guys! 😘

Chapter Summary: Y/N is an absolute mastermind, but Natasha is one too. Bob is an absolute sweetheart (nothing new to see here).

Tagging: @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @ravenmoore14 @blackmagicwoman @silenthappyplace @mrsevans90 @dempy @arcxnxm @hookslove1592 @djs8891

Read me on AO3 | Series masterlist

~Jake POV~

“Special delivery for Floyd.”

Maverick showed up in the break room. And, without further ado, dropped a Tupperware container on the table where Bob was sitting. Bob looked up curiously. “Huh, okay…”

Jake was sitting with the rest of the Dagger Squad on base, when his mouth hovered over his sandwich, about to take a bite.

“Y/N dropped it off at Penny’s,” Captain Mitchell explained.

At the mention of your name, Jake frowned before turning his head to inspect what Maverick just delivered.

“Oh, Bob is climbing the racks of popular guys around here,” Natasha teased. “Let me see.” She reached for the piece of paper taped on the cover.

Despite Bob’s efforts to stop her, Natasha’s actions were too swift. He observed Jake with uncertainty.

Natasha narrated the post-it, “Just a small piece of Montana so you can feel more at home, Bob. Only meant for sharing when the others have done something nice for you,” she paused. “Woah, this can be tough for some people. P.S. I’ll be your Huckleberry. Y/N. That’s cute. And then there’s some sort of smiley face.”

Bob snorted before revealing the insides of the Tupperware. The smell of dessert reached their nostrils. It left a speechless Bob behind. He smiled fondly. “Oh, … it’s Huckleberry Buckle.”

The rest of the crew groaned in delight.

“Bob, my friend,” Bradley leaned down, to drape his arm over his shoulder, “you do know that I held the door open for you this morning.”

Bob chuckled. “Just dig in, y’all. If you want some, just grab a plate and a fork.”

This was the signal for most of the Dagger Squad to spring into action.

“Don’t be animals. One for plates and one for forks,” Javy reminded them.

With sentimental eyes, Jake took another glance at the freshly baked dessert. He cleared his throat. “That’s Y/N for you. Baking stuff is Y/N’s love language,” he explained before watching Bob out of the corner of his eye while everyone dug in.

Bob took his ringing phone from out of his pocket. “Hey, yes, I—we just got it. You just made everyone’s day, I think.”

The Dagger Squad echoed with their mouths full, “We love you, Y/N! Love—love you!”

Jake intensely watched Bob while he munched on the pastry, desperately wanting to know what you two were talking about.

“You want me to—really? Did you mention that to-” Bob’s gaze met Jake’s. Once he already found him already staring at him, Bob meekly averted his eyes. “Um, yeah, sure. Hangman, it’s for you,” he said, giving him the phone.

Jake put a smile on his face when he spoke with a gravelly voice. “Hello, stranger.”

He heard you on the other end exhale. “Has anyone ever told you that you got a really sultry voice?”

Jake inhaled deeply and instantly regretted it. Choking on a crumb, Jake coughed to clear his throat. He felt his skin heat up, either your words or the chocking hazard was getting to him. “Uhm, okay?” He phrased as a question. “Not under these circumstances, no.” For good measure, he took a huge gulp of water.

“Have you asked them yet? You know, the karaoke thing?”

“No?”

Jake could basically feel you vibrating through the phone.

“Well, are you gonna? Time is of the essence.”

“Why are you so adamant to get it done this quickly?” He asked, taking another bite.

You stammered, “I need to—I just do. Aren’t we best friends?”

Jake laughed at your faltering attempt to get your way. “Of course, we are.”

“Then it’s your responsibility to make me get to know your colleagues, no questions asked. Maybe I could make you look good, huh?” Now your insistence for this event kinda made more sense.

He exhaled, “Guys, want to do karaoke night with Y/N?”

The Dagger Squad made whoops of agreement.

“You heard that? You really know how to work the crowd, don’t you?”

“What can I say? I have to make use of my strengths.”

Jake shook his head. “I can tell.”

“Now I know why we never did karaoke together,” Natasha mused before knocking back a drink of tequila.

“What?” Jake was still smiling widely when he stepped off stage.

“That was horrendous to watch. And I’m not even talking about what we were just forced to listen to.”

He rolled his eyes at her dig. “Come on, you’re just being mean. Y/N, hey, tell them.” Jake widened his arms, expecting you to snuggle up to his chest.

As if reading his mind, you stepped into his arms. Almost like you were keeping him in suspense, you licked your lips and patted his chest consolingly. “You looked really handsome up there on stage.”

“See?” Jake looked around to challenge his witnesses before realization hit him. He followed you as you stepped away from him. “Wait, what?”

Any disappointed feelings evaporated within him when Jake sat next to you on the couch which oversaw the karaoke stage and spoke softly, “You having fun?”

You leaned against his side, feeling content with just doing your familiar tradition. “You know I do. Thanks for being such a good sport about this.”

“You mean for me being such a horrible singer?”

“You’re tolerable,” you said soothingly and stroked the back of his neck.

“Gee, thanks.”

You nudged your head against his shoulder. “Kidding. You have a great shower voice.”

With a frowning face, Jake stared at you.

You paused in thought. “That sounded weird, didn’t it?”

“Already forgotten.”

“You’re such a sweetheart.” You briefly leaned your head back into the crook of his neck.

The expression which bordered between mischief and intimacy on Jake’s face was only meant for you to see. “Careful, darlin’. With words like that, you’re starting to make all the girls here jealous.”

“I’m good, thanks,” Natasha interjected, jolting you from your thoughts. “Don’t know if you guys are disgusting or just too adorable together.”

You chuckled, hiding your face behind your hair.

Jake leaned his arm against the back of the couch you were sitting on and said with a teasing voice, “Oh, Phoenix, is there something you want to tell?”

A mysterious smile lingered on Natasha’s lips. “I don’t know. Is there something you want to tell?”

Jake remained silent when he narrowed his eyes. “Nope.”

“Pity,” Natasha retorted.

“This tension is getting way too thick for me.” You decided and braced yourself to stand up. “Bob’s song choice is calling my name.”

At the mention of his name, Jake turned his head in an almost comical way. “Wait, Bob?”

You turned halfway around. “Definitely. I think I’m feeling ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’, you know?”

Natasha gave her vote of confidence. “Don’t let Bob fool you. He’s great. As long as you don’t get into a duet with Rooster.” Her eyes widened at that specific scenario. “I’m serious. I can’t take one more ‘Great Balls of Fire’ today.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

Jake stood up, hiding his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “We’re singing together, right?”

“Of course we are, buddy. It’s tradition,” you said, patting his cheek before leaving again.

Jake sat back down with a sigh, mouthing, “Buddy?” to himself.

“You must have really scared her off with your karaoke performance, … buddy,” Natasha teased next to him.

“You know what?” Jake brooded over his next retort. “Why don’t you have fun with your next Britney song, huh?”

“Thanks. If I play my cards right, I could convince Y/N to join me. I bet she likes Toxic, huh?”

“Everyone does.” Knowing that you wouldn’t mind that one bit.

~ Jake POV ~

“Another plane, another train. Another bottle in the brain. Another girl, another fight. Another drive all night,” You rapped without having care in the world while you mimicked guitar sounds. With your arm slung over his shoulder, Jake carried your body inside.

“You know, I got neighbors, right? I don’t know if they’d appreciate you hollering to the Beastie Boys.”

As if the thought just hit you, you rasped, “I could do it while whisper-yelling. You know, show them some taste.”

Jake shook his head at your antics. “You and your 90’s songs.”

“That was actually late 80’s.”

Jake only chuckled at your musical knowledge shining through. “Someone’s not drunk, huh? Do I need to carry you to bed?”

“Oh, Mr. Lieutenant Seresin-” You leaned back with a smirk, inspecting Jake thoroughly. That gaze alone, and that rank drop, sent a surprising shiver down his spine.

-“You know, I’m not that kinda girl.”

“Oh my God,” he whispered. “Only you would try to flirt in your affectionate state.”

“I’m always flirting with you.”

That reminder unsettled Jake, especially since that sort of affection seemed unusual to other people. For some reason, he didn’t want to lose that. Jake swallowed, frowning. “Yeah, that … that’s what we do. We’re just really, uh…”

“Really secure in our friendship,” you added, holding onto his arms.

His eyes lit up, feeling grateful for your words and warm from your touch. “Exactly. We are.”

You smirked. “How secure do you feel with Javy?”

“Hey, that’s very different. I’m very comfortable with ‘touching guys’, but we’re not in the flirty stage.”

You pursed your lips, imagining that specific scenario. “So, you’re saying you could get there with him one day.”

He didn’t have to ponder about that. “Nope. There’s never been the need for that.”

“Oh, you’re saying I’m special, sweetheart?” Your hold shifted into a tight hug.

“Don’t fish for compliments. You know you are,” Jake whispered quietly, like he was sharing something only for you to know.

“Oh, that’s nice,” you muttered. Snuggling deeper into his strong shoulders while enjoying his warmth. “Damn, your shoulders are really something else, huh? Did I already say that?”

Jake’s shoulders shook with laughter. “It’s fine.”

Like a gentle and exploring piano player, your fingers danced around his shoulder. “You must get them compliments all the time from everyone else.”

“I don’t care about everyone else,” Jake paused.

“Sorry for objectifying you. You’re a real nice guy.”

“First, I don’t mind you objectifying me. Second, don’t you dare call me nice.”

“Oh, you’re just a sweetheart and I don’t get why you don’t let others see that.” Jake felt his body vibrate when you nestled deeper into his neck. Maybe it was easier for Jake to admit stuff if he didn’t have to look at you.

That thought process was eviscerated when you leaned back to stare into his eyes. You stroked his cheeks with deep consideration. “You know, sometimes I keep thinking you deserve so much more than the small scraps of brief flings you’re setting for yourself.”

Almost allured, Jake leaned his face into your palm. Before he caught himself with that infuriating smile. “Oh, you’re thinking about me having sex. Is there something you want to tell me?”

He could feel your disappointment deeply in his core when you sighed heavily. “Jake, you really know how to kill the mood.”

Jake smiled proudly. “Thanks. I really worked hard on that skill.”

With wide eyes, your whole stance changed. “I changed my mind. Can you take me to bed, in a purely platonic way?”

“Only because you asked nicely.”

“Oh, proof that Jake Seresin is secretly a gentleman.” As soon as he offered his smile, you squeezed his dimples, like he was a little kid.

Jake shook his head. “Okay, I think it’s time for bed.”

“And the great Hangman takes aim. Will he be able to defeat the local competition or forfeit his winning streak?”

Jake sighed at hearing Rooster commenting with high anticipation on their pool game at their usual hangout. His arm, holding the cue, hesitated on the pool table. “Rooster, if I have to listen to your droning voice any longer-”

Rooster leaned over the cushion, whispering teasingly, “Why? Am I getting inside your head?”

Jake scoffed at the insinuation. “You think you can get to me with mind games? I invented those.” He pulled his arm back. The moment he saw you enter, a fond smile tugged at the corner of his lips when he saw you laugh with Natasha and -

-pat Bob’s arm?

Jake pushed the cue forward. And watched in apprehension as it slipped away from the ball. “Fuck me,” he grumbled. He couldn’t look away from the unfolding car accident of his play as the ball slithered frustratingly to the middle of the table.

Rooster snorts morphed into boisterous laughter. “Outstanding performance. At least something is getting to you. Are you sure you’re as good as you claim to be?”

Jake whipped his head around. “You know, why don’t you play one of your piano sessions?”

“That would be kind of hard to do since-” Rooster leaned forward with his cue stick. “-you know, I’m beating you.”

Jake cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. He felt his eyes wander surreptitiously to the pair sitting at the bar. Jake made grumbling noises when Penny covered his view as his fingers tightened around the cue stick.

“Ace, you need a special invitation or are you considering to surrender already?” Jake heard the annoying voice behind him. It took everything inside him to not give up and wander where he really wanted to go.

“You’re a hilarious bird.”

Jake lined up his shot.

~ Y/N POV ~

“Okay, what did I miss?”

When you turned your head, Jake sauntered next to you. It took you another glance until you noticed something amiss. “Woah, what happened? You look really hot,” you said, inspecting Jake’s forehead with the back of your hand.

Jake smirked. “Well, thank you. I try my best.”

You rolled your eyes at Jake’s antics to view everything as a compliment. “No, you dork. I mean, you’re like really sweaty. Did you overdo it with the testosterone match?”

“I think I did it just right,” Jake sputtered.

“Who won?”

His green eyes twinkled at the spoken challenge, making your heart flutter. “Who do you think?”

It took you less than a few seconds to look towards Bradley, who swaggered behind Jake. “Who won?”

Jake opened his mouth to gasp at your cheekiness not to trust his word. “I won! What are you asking him for?”

“Barely,” Bradley mouthed, making you giggle. “Totally. I was absolutely … destroyed.” His eyes turned serious when Jake’s gaze found his. “I need some beer to recharge,” he said, moving away.

With a conspiring demeanor, Natasha leaned forward to whisper into your ears. “Oh please, let me tell him.”

Jake’s head moved in her direction. “Oh, you’re here too. Tell me what?”

She placed her hands on your shoulders, slightly shaking your body with her utter enjoyment. “Someone’s gotten herself a date,” Natasha trilled with a sing-song voice.

The glower on Jake’s face sent shivers through your body. You felt uncertain at seeing his reaction. You tried to tell yourself that Jake was just being an overprotective friend. His gaze alternated between yours and Natasha’s before it finally landed on Bob’s.

A wide-eyed Bob swallowed his cup of water. “Not me. I mean, not that Y/N isn’t … you know-” You felt touched that Bob tried to rectify his statement by not wanting to hurt your feelings when he truly looked at you. “You’re really pretty. A guy would be lucky to have you.”

You inwardly gushed at Bob’s gentlemanly ways and felt utterly compelled to give him a hug. Instead, you held him by the shoulder. “Oh Bob, you’re such a sweetheart. You just earned yourself a dance. Pick a song.” With an energetic jump, you moved from your stool and went towards the jukebox.

“I didn’t want to make things weird for the team,” Bob whispered with wide eyes.

There was something akin to respect shining in Jake’s eyes when he nodded once before staring calmly at Natasha. He tried really hard not to reveal his candid emotions on his face. Jake promised to himself, he wouldn’t clench his jaw or cross his arms. He felt like a twitching fool when he was about to cross his arms. Instead, he was forced to let his arms glide downwards before he stroked his abdominal muscles. In the end, he awkwardly hid his hands in the back pockets of his pants.

Natasha smiled mysteriously. “Don’t worry, I’m a great matchmaker. She’s in the safest hands.”

“Phoenix,” Jake started, before he inwardly winced. He crossed his arms and spoke slowly, “what are you doing?”

She shrugged. “Just listening. Y/N mentioned something when we were talking.”

He couldn’t help tilting his head in intrigue. “What exactly?”

“That’s for me to know and you to butt out.” Natasha’s expression softened when she tried to soften the blow. “All in good time. I have a plan. It’s gonna sound weird, but you seem like someone who likes having their best friend close. This is me ensuring to make San Diego as appealing as possible to her. I’m just saying—if she wants to stay,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“By giving her a date? You’re right, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Best-case scenario: She’s gonna have the time of her life with the potential to meet the love of her life while getting a meal out of the date.” Natasha lifted the palms of her hands like a scale to weigh the chances. “Worst case: death by boredom. And next thing you know, Y/N is gonna seek comfort from her best friend after realizing that all naval aviators are douchebags.”

Jake groaned at the thought. “Ugh, great. It’s a damn naval aviator?”

She tilted her head in fascination. “Short question: does she have a thing for aviators? There was a fangirl moment when I mentioned Mav.”

He winced before murmuring, “It’s a statistics thing. Don’t mention Iceman around her.”

Natasha nodded. “Noted.”

“You’re way too involved in this.” Jake pressed his lips together, hoping to see her ultimate endgame. “What’s in it for you?”

“Not everything’s an agenda.” Natasha brushed by him, moving away.

Jake narrowed his eyes with deep suspicion. “And that’s not really an answer.”

~ Y/N POV ~

You could feel your heart beating nervously in your chest. Even your stomach was being all fluttery when you looked into the bathroom mirror while putting mascara on your eyelashes. You heard shuffling behind you before you met green eyes in the reflection.

Your voice echoed in the bathroom. “Jake, you’re hovering like a mother hen.” You didn’t bother turning around since you needed to focus on the task at hand, in order not to go crazy with anxiety. His rare controlling persona wasn’t helping matters.

Jake leaned his shoulder against the door jamb. “I’m just curious, that’s all. You’ve never met the guy. Assuming it’s a man, I don’t want to presume.” He waved his arms around. “I wouldn’t put it past Phoenix to put you on a blind date with a girl.”

You pursed your lips while mentioning casually, “Nat did mention that most of the aviators on the force were duds.”

Jake grimaced. “Going to ignore that,” he mumbled under his breath.

You wiped some mascara remnants from your eyelid. “Your sex not being dating material or me hypothetically dating the same team?”

Jake shook his head, clearing his throat. “So, where are you two lovebirds meeting tonight? Romantic restaurant, picnic by the waterfront?”

The annoyed growl leaving your mouth surprised you. Normally, you weren’t an irrational person who was prone for aggravation. His hovering presence distracted you in an inefficient way. “Seresin, you’re starting to cramp me in this bathroom.” You puzzled yourself more than him when you shoved him through the door. “All answers will be given in the living room after I had some breathing room.”

As soon as the door was closed, it felt like you could breathe again. You exhaled a heavy breath. “Oh my God,” you whispered.

“I heard that!” Jake protested behind the door.

“Good!”

Jake released the breath he was holding. He was sitting on the couch, drumming his fingers on his thigh. He mindlessly watched ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’ on his TV, needing something to run in the background while he was waiting for you to come out. Every time he heard noises coming from the bathroom, Jake craned his head, unable to tamp down his curiosity.

The moment the door closed again, he felt nervous energy coming off of him. And he didn’t truly understand why. Jake heard your shuffling feet in the distance before you finally came out. It felt like the breath had been knocked out of his body.

There was something about a Y/N in a sundress and ballet flats that made him feel very weird. You swung around to show off the full effect of your date attire.

“So, what’s the verdict? Does it meet the expectations of Jake Seresin at least?”

“Um-” Jake cleared his throat before he averted his gaze. “-it looks good.”

“Oh, if the dress looks good… Lucky me, huh?”

“Whoever you’re meeting tonight, they’re the lucky ones.”

“Oh.” You rushed forward, hugging Jake sideways in gratitude. “I like when sweet and charming Jake comes out. He’s such a gentleman.”

“I’m going to assert plausible deniability, in case you decide to reveal my secrets.” Jake shared a small smile with you, reminding himself to at least appear like he was fine with the thought of you going out with another naval aviator.

“I wouldn’t. Not for a good trade at least.”

Jake pointed at you as a reminder. “No apple pie.”

You threw your head back, groaning loudly. “How about a strudel?”

“Not even that.”

“Fine.” She leaned back against the couch before whispering quietly, – like you had to remind yourself - “I need to get going.”

He looked up. “You want me to drive you?”

“That’d be weird, wouldn’t it?”

Jake had to keep trying. “To pick you up then.”

A small part of him would remember fondly how he made you chuckle. “Even weirder flex. I’ll be fine.”

The goodbye kiss on his cheek made him sigh before he nodded with a resolved air. “Text me when you need a getaway car.”

You laughed airily. “Alright.”

It was an hour later when he was already lying in bed and mindlessly scrolling through social media on his phone when he received a text from you.

Don’t need a getaway car.

Nodding dazedly to himself, Jake whispered, “That’s just … great.”

Jake was proving to be an utterly, frustrating man. It had been fifteen minutes since you said good morning that Jake had uttered a word. Only the sound of awkward breakfast crunching could be heard.

You sighed when you saw Jake eye you inscrutably again. He truly thought he was being covert. “Okay, when are we going to break the tension?”

“What tension? There’s no tension.” Jake kept munching on his cornflakes. Like he didn’t have a care in the world. Granted, Jake was the kind to keep on eating food, even when he wasn’t feeling well. “It’s a wonderful morning. I’m having breakfast.” Jake scarfed down a mouthful. “There’s nothing out of the ordinary whatsoever.” To prove his point, he offered a close-lipped smile.

You narrowed your eyes in speculation. Talking gibberish was very unlike him. “You want to know how last night went.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“You don’t want to know,” you repeated slowly and in strong incredulity.

“Yep, no interest.” Jake paused in thought. “Unless you want to talk about your date.”

“I’m not going to force you into a conversation if you couldn’t care less.”

“I do care,” Jake rushed with his reply before his voice turned casual again. “I mean a meager amount.”

“Is this like a guy thing?” You sniffed, taking on a low manly voice for effect. “I don’t mind talking about my latest conquest but I’d rather die than talk about it in a meaningful way.”

“First, I hope that wasn’t an impression of me.”

Your face took on a blank expression before you crossed your arms. Waiting for Jake to continue with his list.

“Second, I don’t mind talking about your … dates, as long as it’s not, you know-” He winced. “-sexual.”

“Jesus, that was a first date. And besides, I don’t know if that’s sexist or something else, that you’re allowed to talk about that stuff, but not me?”

“I don’t know why we’re going the feminist route, but with you it’s just different,” he mumbled before shrugging.

“Why?”

“Because you’re my best friend,” Jake responded fervently. “And none of these guys deserve you.” His voice turned quiet, becoming serious all of a sudden. “You deserve someone better.”

Disappointment filled your body at Jake’s perspective. Recounting all the times in your head when you would tell him how he deserved someone who could challenge him, yet appreciate the things about him which made him such a decent and caring guy. It was a pity that Jake would rather wallow in his self-loathing, while pretending to be the most egotistical guy that ever existed than to be vulnerable for once.

Your shoulders deflated when you realized that maybe he would never be ready to have a meaningful relationship—or any relationship at all that progressed over the 3-day mark—and you swore that a small part of you died right there on the kitchen floor. Feeling more hopeless than ever.

Before you could fully understand the reason why this bothered you so much, Jake’s concerned expression pulled you out of the deepest parts of yourself.

“What? What’d I say?”

You shook your head. Never feeling this gloomy before. “You know, for someone who claims to be so smart, you’re just so dang stupid.” Every single word felt like it was torn painfully from between your lips.

“What?”

You just felt too tired to make Jake understand. It felt easier to just turn your body away. Despite how much you hated appearing this careless towards him. “I got to go. I’ll see you later, Jake.”

~ Jake POV ~

“Well, someone’s in a bad mood.” Natasha teased him. Despite them having to endure the same punishment by being forced to do push-ups next to each other, Natasha still seemed to be in a formidable mood.

Jake turned his head. Not caring particularly that he sent her a dark glower.

“Don’t hang your head, Hangman. I doubt you could’ve evaded Mav’s hit on your best day.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled. Inwardly, he winced. His ma would have his hide if she heard him talking like that to anyone.

“What? No comeback? I wonder what else could be bothering you,” she mused to herself.

Natasha didn’t fool him one bit. Jake wondered if she had it out for him and that was why she focused so hard on Y/N.

“What do you think, Bob?” She decided to thrust the knife even deeper.

Even at the mention of his name, Jake swore his forehead garnered the first droplets of sweat.

Bob chose to focus on his push-ups before grunting, “I’m not getting in the middle of this.”

“You’re way too nice.”

Jake clenched his jaw. “Yes, someone’s a real goody two-shoes.”

Bob turned his head, looking bewildered. “What did I do?”

“Oh, just sweet and perfect Bob who can do nothing wrong.”

Heavy footsteps came closer. “Why do I hear chattering and see no push-ups over here?” Maverick’s voice came over their heads.

“Understood, Sir,” Bob automatically replied.

Jake kept his mouth closed. As much as it pained him.

After the completion of their punishment and he had taken a shower, Jake hurried after Natasha in the rec room. “I need to talk to you.”

Natasha tilted her head. “I thought we already did.”

“Who was the date?”

She exhaled in exasperation, glaring at him. “You’re so predictable, Hangman,” she said, turning around to leave.

“Wait, wait. I’m sorry-”

Natasha stopped in her tracks. She swivelled her head, frowning. “An apology? You just bought yourself two minutes of my time. Go on.”

“Was it Bob?”

Natasha breathed out slowly, pausing in thought. “…You have a weird fixation on Bob. I wonder why that is.”

Jake cleared his throat and crossed his arms. “I don’t-”

“Just kidding. I know why that is. And no. I asked, but he refused.” She shook her head, revealing that this bothered her more than she wanted to admit. “Honorable little fucker,” Natasha grumbled. She chose to clarify instead. “He wouldn’t have minded to date Y/N, but, you know- Didn’t he tell you this already?”

Bob did mention that. But Jake couldn’t help thinking that he might have changed his mind. He averted his gaze, feeling slightly depraved that he considered Floyd doing that. “Maybe. But still.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “What does it matter who the lucky fella was? What are you gonna do? Scare the hell out of them?”

It was indeed bad when someone like Phoenix could predict his future plans. “If it’s someone who doesn’t deserve her, then yes.”

She hummed. “If you know her so well, then tell me, what kind of person do you think Y/N deserves?”

Jake spread his arms. It felt strange how a list of things ran through his head and how they just rolled off his tongue. “Someone nice. Someone who just gets her and adores her little quirks. Just a gentleman.” He counted the amount of traits with his fingers. “Funny, maybe a bit sensitive or vulnerable. Good-looking, but that’s not as high up on her list as the inner qualities.”

Natasha remained quiet. Her brown eyes were staring at him with a profound expression. “Very insightful. Interesting qualities you just listed off. Anyone you know that could fulfil those strengths?”

At the mere mention, he felt like he was put in the spotlight. Either she wanted him to say ‘Bob’ – since those characteristics could cover him easily—or maybe utter his own name. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he wanted to be with you. And wanted to be a part of you.

Jake carefully glanced at Natasha. Not trusting her look of consideration, he narrowed his eyes. He spoke slowly. “I’m not sure.”

“Pity. I could be persuaded into making something happen, if you know what I mean.”

Jake licked his lips, knowing exactly what she was trying to get him to admit. He pressed his lips together.

“But … you would actually need to say the words.” She waited patiently before sighing. “My patience knows its limits though. So, if you got nothing to say, then…” Natasha pointed behind her to threaten her departure. She nodded to herself once before saying, “Okay.” And walked towards the exit.

Jake opened his mouth, as he watched her walk away. He didn’t understand where his courage was coming from when the words left his mouth. “Natasha, would you squeeze me in as Y/N’s date?” He knew how he’d usually call her ‘Phoenix’ or in very rare instances ‘Nat’ so he figured that she caught him in a vulnerable mood for a change.

She dramatically turned around and pursed her lips. “Depends. Will you also apologize to Bob for being an absolute dick?” She paused. “Again?”

Jake sighed. “Listen, I don’t-”

“It’s called being a decent human being. It’s the least you could do. Not to mention-” Natasha tapped her chin mockingly. “-I can’t imagine how Y/N would feel if she found out that someone was being this rude to sweet Bob. I mean, what do you think? How would she feel about that?”

He revealed a tight smile at the slight warning. There was no need to hit below the belt. He would have done it anyway if Natasha said he was being a jerk. “Fine, I got your point. I’ll apologize,” he grunted lowly.

She smiled cheerily. “Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

You felt bad about ignoring Jake, you thought, while you waited in the midst of the amusement park of Belmont Park. Ever since this morning, things had been weird between you. Or Jake was just being his stubborn and obstinate self.

You had been baffled since Natasha sent you a message that the date location had changed. The more you looked around, you realized that you would’ve loved to spend time with Jake at this place. You exhaled with disappointment. Jake would absolutely force you on the roller-coaster, but then feel bad once your stomach was upset by buying you a funnel cake.

Deciding that your bond with Jake was far too important than to leave everything hanging like that, you yearned to clear the air. Pulling out your phone, you scrolled through your contacts until your thumb pressed against the name.

The sound of a cell ringing in the distance made you turn your body in uncertainty. You frowned once you saw Jake advancing with hesitation, waving an arm in greeting.

“Hey, you.”

You hung up your phone, trying to grasp his presence. “What are you doing here? Did you want to ride the Giant Dipper, or something?”

Jake smiled awkwardly. “I wouldn’t actually mind that. Depends if my best friend would be up for it too?” You tried to prepare yourself against his puppy dog eyes as he stepped closer. The movement made you take notice of his suave appearance. You swore you could feel your knees weakening when you saw him wearing his jeans and a pressed white dress shirt.

Jake rubbed his hands against the fabric of his pants.

Not wanting to hurt him, you spoke slowly. “That’s hard to say. I’m kind of on a date. Just waiting, I guess.”

“Yeah, I know. Natasha told me.”

You felt befuddled by his explanation. “Why … would she do that?”

“I asked her to?” Jake phrased the statement into a cautious question.

You pursed your lips as you tried to understand why she would do that in the first place. “Did you bribe her?”

Jake blushed at a memory when he explained with a gravelly voice, “I think I paid her off by giving her the satisfaction in seeing me grovel.”

“How did that look like?” You said, feeling fascinated by the concept of a begging Jake. Even that word didn’t seem to fit him.

“You don’t want to know, trust me.” Jake grew silent before something akin to hope lit up his eyes. “Why did you want to call me?”

You cleared your throat. “Why are you here?”

Teasingly, Jake pointed at you. “I asked you first.”

You sighed. “I wanted to clear the air.” Still, you were not above getting one small dig in. “Unlike some people, I wanted to be the grown-up one here.”

Jake narrowed his eyes. “Now someone’s just being cheeky.” He exhaled, willing to admit any wrongdoings. “I’m sorry for being a dick.”

“Why were you?” You spoke softly. Just because he was your close friend didn’t mean that Jake would get special treatment.

Jake stepped closer until you were only a foot apart. “Because I have a talent for it. Because it’s easier to just pretend. Because of you going out … with a naval aviator just pissed me off. Because I-” He breathed in, like he was preparing for you to hit him. “-I really, really like you.”

You blushed, not yet trusting if he meant it or if this was just some strange prank he wanted to pull off. “You like me,” you repeated, unable not to tease him just a little bit. “And here I thought most of the time I was your annoying best friend.”

“I think you’re confusing yourself with Javy.”

You cocked your head playfully. “Oh? Do you really, really like him too?”

He pursed his lips, like he needed to entertain that thought first. “He’s just alright, I guess. I mean, I more than like you. It’s like obnoxious.”

Wow, and here you thought, Jake could prove to be an adult for once. So, unless he decided to brandish a real love confession that didn’t sound like the most aggravating nuisance, you could do the same.

“Oh my God, you’re like a big kid, huh? Using those big boy words.”

His eyes were burning with sage fire. “You’re just so infuriating at times.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Says the great Jake?”

“That’s what I mean! You’re driving me absolute insane. You’re making friends with everyone you meet.” Jake counted at his fingers. “Maverick, Bob!-”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What’s Bob got to do with this?”

“He’s like-” Jake grimaced. “-And you’re-” He waved towards you, very eloquently describing the issue at hand.

“I think somewhere was a compliment. Let me just reiterate: you think Bob’s a great, wonderful guy and I’m just-”

“Perfect,” he uttered with a hoarse voice.

You inhaled deeply, stammering nervously. “You can’t just say stuff like that.”

“It’s still the truth.”

“What if you’re only saying all of this because you can’t stand the idea of me getting with a naval aviator?” You voiced your inner worries, absolutely needing him to be truthful.

Jake opened his mouth several times before admitting, “Partly true. But the truth is, Nat made me realize I was just being too chicken to fully admit that I … I can’t imagine not spending the day with you. You make me think about you all the time. Even when I’m out with the guys and I keep thinking ‘Oh wow, Y/N would love to try out that drink’ or ‘As much as you’re a talker during Sunday Night Football-”

“Not always,” you mumbled quietly.

“-you still make it fun.”

You pressed your lips together, feeling very nervous and emotional by his words.

“Maybe I just didn’t realize I was in love with you until the concept truly hit me, that you might be into a … nice guy like Bob.”

Despite his familiar self-loathing, you couldn’t help reminding him with a small smile, “You’re a nice guy too, Jake.”

“Only with you.”

Jake’s confession made your heart palpitate in your chest nervously.

“So,” Jake started, “what do you feel for me?”

You hummed to yourself before confessing, “Ditto.”

Jake huffed loudly. “Oh my God. Of course, you’d be aggravating about it.”

“I’m just saying, maybe I really, really like you too.”

He shook his head, trying to suppress a smile. As much as you could tell what he wanted to hear from you.

In the end, you chose to take a chance. “Let’s just say, there are more times when I realized over the years how I’m in love with you than the amount of times when I can’t stand you. The second is pretty close though.”

You couldn’t have been prepared for Jake’s wide and blinding smile.

“Ditto.”

You rolled your eyes, while revealing a small smile on your lips. You decided to put him out of his misery when you admitted, “Nat was my date.”

“Wa-wait, what?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “She said that she had a specific guy in mind, but he wasn’t ready yet. I just thought it was someone who was still out on a mission. So, we hung out last night.”

Jake still remained confused. “And did what?”

“Nosy,” you mumbled. “Karaoke and stuff like that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He inquired with wide eyes.

“I wanted to, but you decided to be a jerk about it.”

Jake narrowed his eyes, shaking his head. “Nat ‘Fucking Mastermind’ Trace.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Jake looked at your surroundings, hiding his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Do you want to go on a date?”

You smirked. “Like a platonic one?”

“Nope, like a real one. You know, the romantic kind. I promise to make it a bit fun, unique and unforgettable.”

“That’s a big promise.”

Jake smirked arrogantly. “I’m aware. It also perfectly describes me.”

You groaned loudly. “And here we go. I want Nice Guy Jake though and not the obnoxious one.”

He was walking alongside you, nodding. “I’ll tell him to take an off-day.”

“What is it about you and Bob though? He’s just a really stand-up guy. Really funny.”

“So am I.”

“Sometimes. Let’s just say, we just get each other. You know, cut from the same cloth.”

Jake hummed. At least he was no longer being a caveman when it came to Bob. “Okay,” he said, laying his arm over your shoulder.

“I mean, he was just helping me rent an apartment in the city,” you explained, gauging his reaction.

“What?”

“Yes, he offered to put in a good word and Nat sent me a few listings.”

It seemed like the rare event of a speechless Jake took place. “Huh, that’s-”

“As I live and breathe, a speechless Jake Seresin was just seen out and about.” You glanced at him through your eyelashes. “I think you were about to say that’s a real stand-up guy thing to do, huh?”

Jake sighed, not wanting to admit reluctant respect before mumbling something under his breath which sounded close to, “Damn it, now I really got to apologize.”

You turned your head. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“It’s okay. There’s still time for you to deal with your big boy emotions,” you replied before you chose to do something new. By taking his hand and interlacing your fingers together. “And here I thought, judging from your letters, you had more of a rivalry thing going with Bradley.”

“I know, right? I thought I would feel threatened by Rooster of all people. But Bob?”

“Let’s just say, in another life Bob would’ve swept me off my feet,” you retorted, patting him against his chest.

His blank expression could be described as something where he tried to imagine that so-called horror reality. “… Don’t even joke about that.”

[magicalyaku]

I had vacation and tooth surgery and thus a lot of time to be lazy! <3 A chunk of it I spent listening to the narrations of some creepypasta series. Though, honestly, I'm not sure they can be called that? They're more episodic paranormal stories. Yes, there's monsters running around and dangerous, maybe scary stuff going on, but they're also incredibly wholesome and soo sweet and very queer! So if you're into that, go look for the stories written by @02321 on r/nosleep and Youtube! My Name's Skyler, I'm a Freelance P.I. narrated by Baron Landred (the title on r/nosleep is I Work as a P.I and a Government Agent approached me to help with a case) and I Deliver Mail to Cryptids narrated by Animas. (And also a bunch of stories more set in the same universe of the Silver King.)

Now back to our regular books! We have 4 princes, 2 kings and 1 queen this month!

Banshee Blues (Nina Blazon): I'm in the editing process of my latest novel, which I'm writing in German, so I felt I should read a German, non-translated book for once. This was the only one in my pile but it is from my favourite German author, so all was well. I have a lot to thank her for. The first novel read from her was Der Dunkle Kuss der Sterne (The Stars' Dark Kiss) and that was the first time I liked first-person viewpoint! Her next book had split POV and different tenses and I had to admit it was done well. Banshee Blues was not quite up to par with her previous works but it went a few new directions than usual which was nice as well. It tried very hard to lead you astray with what's going on and who is evil and who isn't. And while I liked how things turned out between the two leads it would have been monumental to have them stay platonic.

The Fallen King's Penitent Soldier (Tales of the High Court 5) (Megan Derr): Sigh, it's been a ride. I had a good time with the whole series. I love the worldbuilding, really. But it is alright to end it here, while it's still good, you know. In a way, these five stories are all built very similar: Being kidnapped by bad guys, running from the bad guys or running after the bad guys for the first half and afterwards waiting to let other people sort it out. There's probably a limited amount of iterations you can go through while still be interesting. But for these five volumes it was fun! As for book 5 by itself, I think it's a good thing it comes so late in the series. Because it really takes its time. There's a lot introspection going on for the two protagonists which is okay because they go through a lot but it's also very long and sometimes not much else happens. I liked the two of them, I liked how religion was handled, I liked how it went full circle back to Allen's story. I liked the series. Good times. :)

Prince & Knight (Daniel Haack & Stevie Lewis): I wanted this for the pretty pictures. But apparently the universe didn't want me to? I ordered this last year already, but the package went on an odyssee through several cities without ever arriving at my home. I ordered it again this year and … the same thing happened?! 8D The odyssee was shorter this time, mind you, but … why again?! I tried a third time and ordered it for pick up at a local bookstore and that finally worked. Geez! It's a children's picture book so the story is as basic as it goes. Is it goo for children? I wouldn't know. The dragon doesn't die and it's very sweet and very pretty.

In all seinen Farben (Boy Queen) (George Lester): I had some exhausting weeks at work and thought I could use something inspirational. Something about finding your own way and shine. Which happens in this book but there's also a lot of drama going on and I was not prepared for the rock-bottom-hit in the beginning. xD I mean, it was written in the blurb but I've owned the book for a year why should I reread the blurb … I know nothing about drag or make-up or anything in that direction (I did watch like 15 minutes of the drag show at Comic Con Stuttgart last year but that hardly counts), so it was charming and interesting to read about.

We Could Be so Good (Cat Sebastian): I have to apologise to everyone on the waitlist for this at my library because I could have read it faster but … once I realised what sort of direction the 70% drama might take I had a tough time reading on. They were so happy and it was nice and I just did not want to suffer! I did assume, since the book goes out of its way to address how all queer books published during the mid of the last century would have to end badly (and the protagonist outright refusing to read them therefore), it would probably take a turn for a happy ending. That was the only hope that kept me going. If I had known any of the author's other work I maybe wouldn't have worried so much, because it's written in her bio already that she'll only write happy endings?! Well … So for anyone else fearing the drama of a book set in 1959: No queer person was harmed in this book! (Nothing major anyway.) I like the book, though! Enjoyed reading it. Nick and Andy are both sweet. But that fear did something to me, took me a while to recover. :'D

Prince & Assasssin (Perilous Courts 1) (Tavia Lark): I needed something simple for my fragile heart and it seems gay fantasy is my comfort read now in the same way my mom reads stuff named like "The Little Bakery at XYZ Street". And what should I tell you, yeah, there're men who are tenderly and not so tenderly intimate with each other, yeah yeah, but there's also giant talking cats! Giant talking cats! Also, I really like the author's writing style. It's so smooth! I started reading and didn't want to put it down anymore because it read so smoothly! The book itself was so much better than I had expected (which was basically nothing). It won't blow you off your feet but it's pretty enjoyable and surprisingly wholesome. Also the worldbuilding felt just right. I'm looking forward to reading the next volumes soon!

King of Immortal Tithe (Darkmourn 2) (Ben Alderson): Did I buy the expensive hardcover just because I like the illustration more than the one of the paperback? Why hello, that's me. So this is the second fae book I read this year. It's apparently a universal truth now that fae men are the most beautiful and well endowed beings on earth and beyond. Not that I mind, you do you, but why does fae anatomy work the same as humans' actually? Anyway, this is a stand-alone in a series of stories all set within the same universe. I like that concept. Hunting for pieces of lore is fun. Arlo is a feisty character so following him was enjoyable. The switch from enemy to lovers was kinda sudden like … I can see why but personally it still felt sudden. Also Faenir calling Arlo constantly Darling was not my taste but you know, if it's just that, I can overlook it. The twist at the end had me barking out evil laughter (which means approval). I did hold back reading the final chapter until I read the first volume as not to spoil any more! (While they are stand-alones the previous story is referenced in this one.)

Lord of Eternal Night (Darkmourn 1) (Ben Alderson): "He was so tall and his hands were so large and his length was so great and so thick my fingers couldn't touch reaching around it. He was not just a man, he was a god!" I laughed. That's not a literal quote, but a good summary. Yeah. I laughed. And while praising one guy he was also dissing his former lover, the baker's son, for not being as large. Not the poor lad's fault, no need to get mean! Should have known at that point already who was the true evil mastermind. :'P. But in all fairness, there is a little more going on in the story. And well, these books know very well what kind of fantasy they're catering. There's a short guy, a little crafty and feisty, not too weak, and the very tall, very beautiful guy who everyone says is evil, but turns out he isn't so evil, he just has a tragic past, he also falls very hard for the protagonist and oops, maybe he does have some capacity for evil. I did like how the story subverted who's good and who's bad like three times. Otherwise, it's not really complex. But I'm kinda into the ending.

Alpha of Mortal Flesh (Darkmourn 3) (Ben Alderson): The third installment in the series, they've been getting more elaborate with each volume. So instead of the 2 and 3 half characters we had in the first one, there's actually a whole cast in here with motivations and backstories. That was nice. The writing style, however, is still as … trying as hard as in the beginning. It's not bad, mind you, I commend it for trying to use the full range of the English language, but there's a lot of words, making everything longer than needed, and sometimes their choice is really weird. Example: "My tongue broke free. It slithered from the confines of my mouth." But it's just a normal human tongue licking something eagerly yet still very normally! And, they're indie books, yeah, but I do wish all three books would have gone through another round of editing. The unnecessary repetitions and errors made me suffer a little. And while I got a little bored and impatient at the end I do like the story and what it's trying to do. Just that it was trying too hard in some aspects of the writing and not hard enough in others.

That's it for July! Apparently, August will be library month again. My TBR bookshelf disapproves but duh. Let's go and have fun. :P

[mask131]

Cold winter: The White Witch

THE WHITE WITCH

Category: Fantasy youth literature / The Chronicles of Narnia

She is one of the most famous characters of the Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis, to the point she is even part of the title of the book that started it all, and she is one of the darkest reinterpretations of Andersen’s Snow Queen you can find around. She is Jadis, the White Witch, and one of the great female villains of fantasy.

The White Witch (Jadis, of her personal name) only appears in two of the seven Narnia books, and yet her enormous impact on the fictional country of Narnia can be felt throughout almost all of the book.

I) The Witch from the Wardrobe

The White Witch was conceived as the main and major antagonist of the original Narnia book, “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”. If you do not know the basic plot of the Narnia books, they are about young English children of the early 20th century who found different passageways that lead them to Narnia, a fantasy land filled with talking animals, mythical creatures and magic. And in this first book, when the main protagonists (a quartet of English children) arrive at Narnia, The White Witch is the land’s queen – of her full title “Her Imperial Majesty Jadis, Queen of Narnia, Chatelaine of Cair Paravel, Empress of the Lone Islands”. Narnia is the fantasy country itself, Narnia ; the Lone Islands are just territories affiliated with Narnia, but Cair Paravel… That’s an interesting topic. Cair Paravel is the castle that was built for the rulers of Narnia, where the country’s capital should be, and yet despite the White Witch styling herself “Chateleine” of this castle she actually does not live there, because while she is the ruler of Narnia, she is not a legitimate queen.

Narnia is waiting for its prophesized true rulers, “sons of Adam and daughters of Eve” who will sit on the four thrones of Cair Paravel – aka human beings (and the four children that are the protagonist of the book) ; and the White Witch only ruled over Narnia through a loophole – for she is a descendant of Lilith, the first wife of Adam and the first human woman (yes, the Narnia books are also heavily Biblical, which is part of their very essence, but we’ll come back to that later). But despite looking somewhat human, she is not human: it is said that the part of her bloodline from which she is related to Lilith was made of jinns, not human beings – and her other side of the family is giants. So she is a wholly inhuman being that just pretends to be human to obtain complete control of Narnia. And her rule over Narnia is deeply, profoundly crappy as she is a female variation of the fantasy archetype of the “evil overlord/dark lord that needs to be defeated”. It is to the point that the same prophecies that talk of the human rulers also point out that their arrival will not only mark the end of her evil reign, but also of her very life.

The reason she is called the White Witch is because she is a being of ice and cold whose rule plunged Narnia into an eternal and complete winter – and to add insult to the injury, a winter “without Christmas” as she banished Father Christmas himself from her realm. She is an arrogant, cruel and amoral character that does not seem to have any love for anything or anyone: every time she is pleasant, it is just trickery and deceit – and one that usually does not last as her dominating and harsh nature usually takes the better of her. She only sees people in terms of usefulness or hostility, getting rid of whoever she perceives as a threat and only keeping with her those that help her maintain her rule and power – for it seems to be all she cares about, rule forever and without any rivalry. Evil calling to evil, she managed to gather by her side, as her faithful subject, all of the most evil and negative entities populating Narnia: ghouls, ogres, minotaurs, hags, specters, werewolves, spirits of evil trees and poisonous plants… With a specific place given to talking wolves, that form her personal guard and secret police.

The White Witch herself is a very tall woman (thanks to her half-giantess nature) with a skin as white as snow (or paper, or icing sugar) except for her mouth which is very red. She is beautiful, but proud, cold and stern, dressed in white furs and wearing a golden crown on her head. Beyond her curse of endless winter over Narnia, the magic of the White Witch manifests mostly through two items of her. One is her magic wand – a long and straight golden wand which has only one power, the one to turn into stone whoever it touches. It is a dreadful weapon that she used many times, to the point the courtyard of her small castle is filled with the statues of those she petrified – some because they tried to fight her, others as a punishment for disobeying her. Her other magical item is a strange potion she keeps in a small copper bottle – when someone asks for a food or a drink, the Witch just needs to let a drop of the potion fall on the ground to conjure up such food or drink. But there’s a catch: the conjured up food will be incredibly tasty, desirable and memorable, but also be very empty and unsatisfying in the end, resulting in an addictive nature similar to the one of a drug. It is with this potion, used to summon hot cocoa and Turkish delights, that the Witch manages to influence one of the four children protagonist of the story, who on top of being fooled by the Witch’s beauty, queenly titles and fake kindness, becomes addicted to her enchanted candies.

Now, the entire first part of the book is about the plot of the Witch to get her hand on the four human children that entered Narnia, to prevent them from becoming the rightful rulers of the country – all while their very presence starts unravelling her curse of endless winter, and their coming to Narnia coincides with the White Witch’ nemesis. The king of the woods and king of the beasts, the leader of the forces of good in Narnia, the Great Lion named Aslan that just returned to Narnia after being away for all of the White Witch’s reign. Long story short, the White Witch corrupted Edmund (one of the four kids) to betray his siblings to the White Witch, but he came to realize the errors of his way and turned good, joining Aslan’s side… only for the Witch to arrive at Aslan’s settlement demanding a temporary truce in order to take Edmund – for “all traitors belong” to her. And this is where we get a confrontation between her and Aslan that reveals a much deeper and ancient nature than just a talking lion and a wicked witch. Aslan is noted to have authority and power in Narnia thanks to being the son of the “Emperor-Beyond-The-Sea”, who rules over all worlds, including Narnia. But during their confrontation, the White Witch reveals herself to be the Emperor’s hangman (and in fact it is this position of “executioner” that led to her ambition/delusion of becoming queen). There is magic, and there is Deep Magic – the magic that the Emperor placed into Narnia at the very dawn of time and that forms the Laws of this world. The Laws of the Deep Magic are engraved on the scepter of the Emperor ; on the trunk of the “World Ash Tree”, and on the Stone Table – a literal table of stone standing in Narnia and being the focus point of all of Narnia’s law and magic. And the White Witch is included in those laws, and by this Deep Magic all traitors belong to her as her “lawful preys”, and for every treachery she has a “right to kill” – which she invokes in an attempt to have Edmund killed for his treachery (despite said treachery being caused by HER), so that the prophecy of the “four thrones of Cair Paravel” might never be fulfilled. If the Deep Magic is not “appeased”, then all of Narnia will be destroyed in “fire and blood” – but the Witch’s attempt is thwarted by Aslan’s decision to sacrifice himself in place of Edmund, offering his life to protect the one of the young boy.

The White Witch perceives this as a triumph, for by offering himself as a sacrifice, she gets the legal right to destroy her nemesis and “positive rival” – and makes a grand ceremony of this sacrifice by killing herself Aslan on the Stone Table in front of all of her hordes of dark spirits and evil monsters. She jubilates as she kills the true leader of the forces of good in Narnia, before preparing for war against the rest of the rebels and four little kids from England… But as said kids will later discover, Aslan’s death is only temporary. For, as Aslan explains – the White Witch’s knowledge of the world only starts at the Dawn of Time. But there is a magic deeper than the Deep Magic, other Laws that came from “the stillness and darkness before Time”, and these laws specified that if a willing victim that committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, then the Stone Table would crack and “Death itself would start working backward” – not only resurrecting Aslan, but also offering a new age for Narnia, free of the ancient Laws of the Stone Table, and thus voiding the White Witch of her “cosmological-legal” power. (Yes there are strong Christian motifs here, which were willingly done – as I said, the Narnia books are very biblical).

Cutting the story short: a war ensues, but as always good triumph – and it triumph in quite a bloody way as the resurrected Aslan kills himself the White Witch. And so everybody is free, all those she turned into statues become flesh again, and the evil reign of Jadis comes to an end.

II) In other books

Narnia got several sequels, but Jadis took quite some times to return to the stage…

She is heavily talked about in the second Narnia book, “Prince Caspian”, taking place more than a thousand years after the original novel. We discover a Narnia overrun by humans that reject supernatural and magic as mere fairytales and superstitions, and who hunted down and exterminated most of Narnia’s original inhabitants, leading all fantastical beings into a secret and persecuted existence. The entire plot of the book is about true Narnians fighting to regain the ownership of their own land, and the quest to bring Aslan (and the four heroes of the first book) back into the land… But some of the nastier of Narnia’s original inhabitants have a different plan. While now all Narnians are gathered together against one common threat, no matter their race or species, and all wish and believe for the return of Aslan their savior, a few kept their old evil habits and allegiances. Tired of waiting for an Aslan that never comes, they think of invoking a power that equaled and rivaled the one of Aslan, and that could restore “true Narnians” just the same… As the titular Prince Caspian discovers when he is led by a treacherous dwarf to meet with a werewolf and a hag, there is a secret conspiracy wishing to call back the White Witch into Narnia, because, as one ominously says “witches never truly die”… But the conspiracy is broken before any rite can be attempted.

In the third Narnia book, “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader”, Jadis is still nowhere to be seen, but her influence manifests here through a knife. Not just any knife: the stone knife she used to kill Aslan on the Stone Table, an act so terrible and so vile it turned the item into a cursed weapon (or a sacred item depending on how you look at it). The knife ended up in the ownership of Ramandu, a wizard living on the last island of Narnia before “the end of the world”, who kept it on a table of eternal feast. It notably plays a role in the story of three Narnian lords who arrived on this island in an attempt to sail off to the end of Narnia – as they stayed on the island and participated in the eternal banquet, they quarreled over whether they should stay here, go forward or return to Narnia. One of them, in his anger, took the knife to threaten his companions – and such a mishandling of the magical object cast a spell on them, forcing them into a deep dreamless sleep from which nothing can wake them up… except the willing sacrifice of someone who would be brave enough to sail as closely as possible to the end of the world, and then abandon themselves into what lies beyond…

The fourth Narnia book, The Silver Chair, is the last mention of Jadis before her second appearance. The main antagonist of the story is a mysterious supernatural woman known as the Lady of the Green kirtle, but it is speculated by characters in-story that she is of the “same crew” as the White Witch: both of them apparently belonged to a same coven of witches known as the Northern Witches (due to being set in the hostile lands of Narnia) that had declared themselves the enemies of all good animals and humans in Narnia.

III) The great retcon

Jadis’ second and last appearance is in the sixth Narnia book, “The Magician’s Nephew” and… as I said above, while it actually greatly fleshes out Jadis’ character, it also greatly retcons her into a very different character. Gone the “half-jinn half-giantess” nature ; gone her role as the Emperor-beyond-the-sea’s “hangwoman” that let her duties corrupt her ; gone her cosmic nature akin to the one of Aslan.

According to this book, Jadis belonged to a third world among the great multiverse – a world that was neither our own, neither Narnia. This world was ruled by a series of sorcerer-emperor and witch-empresses from their capital-city of Charn, the most wonderful and beautiful of all cities – they once were good rulers, but over generations became cruel tyrants and dominating despots. Jadis grew up as the last heir of the bloodline of these degenerate and sadistic mage-rulers, alongside her sister, and both waged war against each other for the throne. It was a long and bloody civil war, which ultimately saw Jadis’ defeat. She was spared by her sister, but Jadis was such a spiteful and petty creature that she decided “If I can’t have the throne of Charn, nobody shall” – and she used the Deplorable Word. You see, the Deplorable Word was the evilest and most dangerous spell of the royalty of Charn, a spell so destructive and baleful that no one had ever even dared use it… no one before Jadis. It was just one word, but potent enough to kill ALL LIFE in the entirety of the world of Charn. Jadis only survived by placing herself into a magical suspended animation thanks to a spell of enchanted sleep – and she stayed frozen in time, waiting in the ruins of a dry and empty world under a dying sun, until finally two young children arrived in Charn thanks to the magic of a magician uncle of theirs. The children woke up Jadis, and she returned with them to their own world – 1900 London.

There Jadis put together a plan to conquer this new world and makes herself its sole queen… until she realized that her magical powers did not work on Earth. She still kept some of her unnatural abilities, such as her disturbing beauty and a great physical strength (which allows her to pull pieces of iron out of lampposts WITH HER BARE HANDS) with which she causes a lot of mayhem in the city – from robbing jewelry stores to stealing coaches to drive them as chariots… It is enough for the uncle-magician to decide to send her back to where she belonged ; only for him to send her by mistake into Narnia, a world freshly created by Aslan. There she tried to attack Aslan, but couldn’t do him any harm and fled in front of a being able to resist her powers. Aslan recognized her as the first evil to enter the world of Narnia and to protect his creation from her he offered one of the young children from earlier the seed of a magical tree that would protect Narnia from her forever. Attempting to fight off this plan, Jadis snuck into the garden where the so-called Tree of Protection was supposed to be planted – and there she ate the silver apples of another magical Tree, the Tree of Youth. These fruits offered her exceptional longevity and endless youth – making her seemingly immortal, and she tried to use those same apples to tempt the young boy into not planting the Tree of Protection, to no avail. And so Jadis was forced to flee into the hostile and barren lands northern of Narnia, where she started collecting allies, growing her magic and plotting evil schemes to conquer this new world, waiting several centuries for the Tree of Protection to die… But she could never enjoy her newfound immortality for eating of the silver apples came at a great price. Her skin, once human-colored, turned the deadly shade of white we saw her sport in the original book, while the fruit cursed her with an inability to find peace or happiness: unable to find any pleasure or glee from her own evil, she was cursed to a life of endless misery.

- - - - - -

Behind such a now iconic figure, C. S. Lewis actually conjured up a lot of different sources to create the character. The White Witch’s character is obviously based on the Snow Queen: like her she is a beautiful but terrible bringer of winter wrapped in white furs – her very first scene is even coming in a reindeer-pulled sleigh to take away a little boy… But to this figure, C. S. Lewis added the one of the devil – more specifically, the devil as he appears in the Bible, but also the devil as he appears in “Paradise Lost”, with a few additions taken from the Jewish figure of Lilith.  Or actually a literary reinterpretation of Lilith: Lilith as she appears in George MacDonald’s fantasy novel of the same name. Two more literary sources complete the “origins” of Jadis, who was also inspired by the character of Ayesha from the novel “She” by H. Rider Haggard, and by the one of the Queen of Babylon, from Nesbit’s “The Story of the Amulet”.

Interesting fact: Jadis’ name is actually a French word that literally means “once”. Not once as just “play it once”, but once as in “Once upon a time”, “jadis” being a literary word meaning “a long, long time ago” or “in a past now gone”.

[ravenekrops]

you know what. i'm not writing all of these in the tags

i absolutely LOVE researching lore-appropiate names for my OCs, it's a very important step of their development in my creation process :3 even tho after writing this list it seems i don't do it often enough... whoops 😑

in no particular order! let's see if i can remember them all... same color means same universe btw!

Larial Black (Undertale): Arial Black like the font but with an L at the front for that tiny sprinkle of originality (yes she's a skeleton yes she's the skelebros' elder sister yes i was a kid yes i was cringe AND free mind you 🙄)

Agnes Black: originally a gijinka of Horrortale!Larial Black, her surname retains its original meaning (aka nothing special or specific). can't remember why i chose Agnes as her name (there was some (ugh 🙄) religious meaning behind it but it's been long forgotten). but i gotta admit, her name meaning "chaste" and her ending up being aroace WAS a good coincidence so i'll just pretend i did that on purpose lol. also i just looove the word. Agnes... <3

Lisabel Black: Horrortale!Larial Black gijinka 2.0! now more bloodthirsty than ever! i liked the name Isabel but i thought it'd be a bit plain so i added the L at the front for that- you know the drill (but also to retain even more of her original character-ness)

Ryan "Jackal" Drake: 100% unabashed coolness factor (i WAS a kid for this one too, gimme a break!). in-universe explanation is that it's his stage name he chose when he decided to do crime after he arrived at the US

Eric O'Shea: Eric means "ever ruler" in Old Norse which is kind of true for the part he plays in his story, O'Shea is Irish (he's Irish) and also sounds like "ocean" and "sea" a bit. he comes from a family of fishermen. also i just like how it sounds :>

Léan O'Shea: pronounced Liam because i said so (idk how it's actually pronounced sorryyy). Irish name for an Irish child (even if she's adopted)

Luma/Heather (Undertale): "pluma" without the p. "feather" with an h. you can guess what type of anthro/furry she is lol

Vreytus: literally scrambled words together until they made sense phonetically. i wanted it to sound alien and mysterious. i probably have the original words i corrupted to get his name written somewhere but i am not looking it up -.-

Lee: ohhhhhh this is a fun one :3 when i first started doodling him i called him "long limbed guy", then "limbed" which shortened to "Lee" (yes i know that the "li-" from "limb" is pronounced with a shorter sound but i'm not a native speaker so idrc :p). later on i decided his full name would be Leroy but it's a "only using the full name when they're in trouble" kinda case (also it makes the long "ee" sound make sense now! whammo!)

Voirds: void + birds

Voirdity: void + bird + deity (🤯)

Rask'r (TESV): pronounced "raskur". argonian name generator

Raz: humanization of Rask'r, which also happens to be a real name. lucky me! seriously tho, it means "secret" in Hebrew. it's related to his backstory

Eva: short for Evangeline. Raz's most trusted friend

Mask (Undertale): self explanatory

Fangbeak (fursona (lol)): fang + beak (i know, mindboggling this one)

Diego (Pokémon): good sounding Spanish name for my favorite Paldean-residing-in-Unova boy :>

Donovan: from Old Irish "brown" and "dark". guess his hair color lol. okay i also wanted something that sounded old and uncommon since he's from the 1700s

Charles "Chad" Kevin Reeve (Half Life): honestly i just wanted an excuse to have a character named Chad lol. Reeve is Old English for "sheriff" or "local official" which fits his character as a bossy soldier. don't ask about the middle name, i have no idea

Lewis James Barnett (Half Life): honestly even after rechecking their meanings i got nothing for this one, chief. it made sense at the time... probably. something about famous scientists maybe? don't ask about the middle name, i have no idea either

Bug: simple nickname given by the scientists that captured it that just. stuck along lol

honorary mentions go to these unnamed but existing OCs:

Bovine dad (Undertale): there's... not much to him. sorry :1

Revenant Prince: the "protagonist" of an original D&D setting i still hope to finish some day :(

Human: Vreytus' partner, and the first human he properly meets after he finds his identity. the human shows him how humans live and also teaches him about relationships and connection

Why is your OC named what they're named? Is there a different reason in-universe than out-of-universe?

[josiebelladonna]

finally figured out why i don’t like gipsygeek whatever her fucking name is and i don’t care, either. if someone is giving you a bad vibe, believe it.

full disclosure: don’t think for one second that i don’t like her because she’s with alex (i kicked that hang-up to the curb about ten years ago when chris and ben entered the picture: i know the odds are against me and i’m content with fantasy and playing around, you don’t have to talk down to me about it). i don’t like her for a very twisted reason.

mind, this is speculation. i’m just some person on the internet, i don’t claim to be a sleuth or anything or know these two personally. i’m merely going by things i’ve observed, both with him as well as her, on their instagrams as well as old blogs on blogspot (skolnotes and gipsygeek respectively), as well as my own intuition and a bad, often gross feeling i get from her. it’s not just “i do not like this woman one bit as much as I want to like her like krista belladonna or tiffany billy”, but there is something i think we all should know. unless alex comes right out and says something, the disclaimer stands, because you don’t just come out and say something like this without considering the repercussions.

all this in mind, it wouldn’t surprise me if she checks out all the boxes, because there are some fairly obvious signs to me. and i’m putting this and telling what it is under a “read more” break, too, because there’s a lot of thought process that went into this, and it can be upsetting… i know it did me.

first of all, i’ve seen her name on ig all of five times since i started following him, two times on ig live (and alex looked less than enthusiastic that she was there) and three times out in the open, when he was at the osiris pod livestream last month, when he was at the philharmonic back in june, and when he saw lewis black a few weeks back. i’ve seen her name in junction with planetary coalition and on the trio’s videos, namely florida man blues. 

but on his very last blog post, alex refers to her as his “partner”, not girlfriend, not wife, but partner, which i found strange, even out of place, mainly because it’s one of those catch-all terms that doesn’t really tell you anything. even weirder: there’s a post on her blog where she refers to him as a “dear person”. not “my love”, not even “dear friend”. it’s so detached that it just did not sit with me. something doesn’t add up, you guys.

by the way, apparently, they’ve known each other 10 years now… and every time i see him in his apartment, he’s all alone—or he’s jamming with someone and it’s obvious he propped his phone up on a shelf. 10 years you’ve known each other and i’ve only seen her name mentioned a handful of times and i actually had to go to her profile to see her. something REALLY doesn’t add up.

in fact, the very first time i saw her name, alex was taken aback, and i distinctly remember him saying, “ah, yeah, i know you” and then she laughed at him. yes, at him. like, “of course you know me, haha!” i also remember him being weirdly checked out that night, rather than being loose and friendly and laughing and joking with us and totally the guy up the street like how he usually is. it was like the moment she showed up, it was like he put a terminator mask on and hid his true self. what gives?

i just think about how he acts towards me. he always smiles at me, that really big sunny smile like he’s just so happy to see me. i wish i could record it, but his voice gets so soft and husky when talking to me. there’s the time on ig live he actually straight up told me he loved me—i keep saying it, but it’s true. alcohol really is a truth serum if you have less than the amount it takes to make you hammered: it unlocks the door and makes you fearless in your true desires. i can’t get his voice out of my mind when he told me he loves everything that i do. fuck, there was the time he live-streamed from a show in the park last september and it was literally just me and him, and the way he acted made me think of the nerdy kid standing next to his crush. he’s joked about me. i’ve left some sensual comments on his posts last summer and he liked them… usually several hours after the fact. i catch him stalking my instagram almost all the time now—i’ve noticed he comes on ig at night now, which is interesting. …oh.

i have never seen her in junction with testament or any of alex’s rock n roll endeavors. someone who truly, unabashedly loves you will be supportive of everything you do *clears throat* not just small pieces of it.

hell. i actually braved it and read her blog and then subsequently cleared my history and let me tell you: this woman is the biggest attention whore i’ve seen, probably ever—and i’ve known some attention whores, too. like, alex turning into johnny mnemonic when she’s around makes every bit of sense. i blocked out most of those posts from my memory all because they were so unpleasant and pretentious and over the top—i kept thinking about him, too, like how sweet and earthy he is. in fact, i got to her last post, the only thing going through my mind was “alex, my love… what are you doing?”

she calls herself “infrequent ig checker”—apparently she has a twitter, too, and there she calls herself “infrequent twitter checker”. i get it completely: there are far better things to do in life, and there are far more things in life worth more than social media (especially now), but something about the way she phrases this irritates me, like she thinks she’s somehow above social media. compare this to alex, who’s always online and always active, and always reachable, even when it doesn’t seem that way. i also just think of other couples who are genuinely happy with each other, like joey and krista, or scott and pearl, or charlie and carla, or chuck and tiffany: their relationships are public but they don’t make it the bread and butter of the social experience. plus, it’s obvious they can rely on each other… by the way, i should also mention that alex doesn’t even follow her on twitter, the place where he’s most active. okay, this is very strange.

she doesn’t want to take pix with alex, and, i had to look this up to ensure i wasn’t losing my mind because it felt so sticky to me. indeed, when i started noticing this, the alarm went off in my head. excuses aside, it makes you go, “what you hiding, girl?” (also makes me wonder what he’s hiding, too, like, this is not just keeping this part of his life under wraps out of privacy). you don’t want to be seen with your spouse not from shyness… but because there’s something nefarious going on. it’s a sign of hiding something.

and all things aside, it’s just fucking weird to me. speaking as someone who is shy, what woman doesn’t want to be seen with the man she loves and show off how content she is? alex says she’s shy and doesn’t want to fill up feeds with couple photos- i don’t think that’s what it is, babe. i think she doesn’t want to be seen with you for some reason. aside from the vanity project that is her blog, you know what confirmed this for me? go to her instagram and you’ll see selfies. she dedicates whole posts to her fucking cat but alex is mentioned in passing: notably, there are no pictures of him to be found. she talks about herself ad nauseam but she can’t be bothered to fully declare her love other than “oh, ho, ooh, i’m so flattered.”

and i don’t know if anyone else has picked up on this—it’s actually kind of hard to miss knowing how much of an open book he is, and how expressive his face is, but… there are two things i notice with alex. 

number one: in the two years i’ve been following him, i have never seen him say anything positive about himself. he always deflects compliments about himself—the most prominent example being the time i called him handsome and he was genuinely shocked by that. i’ve also called him a beautiful man and it was like he didn’t know what to do with it. yeah, calling someone a god is overblown and cliché but coming out and saying you love me and then later on down the line, you’re like “too kind” to me while showing very obvious signs that you like me, from the husky whisper of a voice to the fact you’re on my instagram when nobody’s looking… and number two, and i want this to be coupled with the above, too: look at pix of him from about 2014 to 2017 (hell, look at him from 2014 to 2015). it’s as if he aged 20 years in the span of two, and he got heavy, too—and he struggles with his weight, too, going from a potbelly to barely chubby: although he could just be sucking in his gut, i’ve actually seen him do that on more than one occasion, but other than vanity, it begs the question as to why. why hide your beautiful body like that, especially when i’ve seen how round and cute your belly is, and i’m genuinely tickled by it, and especially when you stopped dyeing your streak when you realized it’s a part of you. personally, i love his body: i think he looks good chubby (and boy, does it make me fantasize) but… he’s also prone to insomnia or being on “no sleep”, and i don’t think this is just lifestyle talking. i also have seen him get genuinely angry on twitter so many times like i have lost count, and whenever she’s around, it’s like he becomes robocop: more machine than man. i’m not going to link it, either, i just don’t want to draw attention to that because it’s genuinely triggering for so many, but search those symptoms together and you’ll see why i feel concerned for him and i really wish i could do something for him. i can kind of see it in his eyes, too: there’s something that pains him.

*edit: aside from coming on at night now, his posts have been getting… increasingly strange. he’s always been an oddball but it’s very pronounced now. he’s been swearing on instagram a lot lately and he’s been a lot more… sexual? i could just be grasping at straws, but it’s jarring to witness, though.

and that something is a narcissist. this woman is a narcissist, almost a textbook narcissist.

so what, she’s an architect and makes art and sings and writes. really, so what: i do those three things as well, and truth be known, architecture is like the coward’s field of study in stem. there’s a joke in a later, fairly obscure episode of seinfeld where the guy leading the hearings about susan’s legacy says to george, “i know a guy who became an architect because he flunked out of dental school.” jokes aside, stereotypes exists for a reason. architects—and engineers, too, i remember this was huge when i was in engineering school—are known to be either lazy or holier-than-thou, and apparently she lives up to that, despite her declarations of being yourself and defying stereotypes. i’ll give you another stereotype, maddy (thanks for killing that name for me, too, by the way): what you resist, persists, and you are just not at all convincing me.

i got a bad vibe from her the first time she popped up on the screen during one of alex’s livestreams and let me tell you, your first instinct is often right. you really want to impress me? do what my grandpa did and get degrees in nuclear science and mathematics at a young age and then go into the military. hell, do what my aunt did and get a doctorate in theatre and write an award-winning play when you’re 35. hell, do what i did and nearly die from starvation and borderline madness and then three months later, make one of the best artworks of your life and give it to chris cornell. in fact, since i’ve been thinking about going back into stem school, specifically earth science, at some point… you would not believe the curricula that goes into something seemingly easy like geology. the amount of advanced math involved in the first year of a geology major alone is enough to make any architect or engineer shit their pants. for real. it’s shocking.

i want to be clear that i actually feel bad saying all of this, because i just think about how content alex is with life. but is he really, though? sometimes, narcissism isn’t like donald trump and it can be very insidious to where it’s not like spotting a toupée, but narcissists do everything in their power to make it seem like they’re one of us. and over the course of several years, it can inflict some serious damage… and i’m afraid it already has: like i said, i can see it in his eyes, and his stalking me on instagram and blatantly telling me he loves me and also showing it are not random events. if i lived in new york, i would be more than happy to help him. in fact, i would be honored. i checked in on him once before: this all brings out the concerned best friend in me.

however, the thing with people who are in relationships with narcissists is they won’t buy it at first when it’s pointed out to them—in fact, they might even push you away. but the best thing you can do is just be there for them: if i lived in new york, i would do whatever it takes for him. i really feel like i have something special with him—he’s like chris on steroids. and like chris, there’s a reason why he keeps coming back to me, and i don’t think fandom is the sole reason (as you know with chris, the poor man had anxiety and his wife turned out to be a power drunk psycho who surrounds herself with enablers, something we all should’ve seen a long time ago because the signs were in fact all there). 

i could be wrong about all of this and it could just be me just not liking her, which is a mere fact of life: you will come across people that you just don’t like for whatever reason. …but i won’t be surprised if i’m not wrong, though.

[rahleeyah]

Hi queen I have some questions: why do you think the show made the decision to make elliot not know about Lewis? Did he choose not to ever look her up? Was he abroad at the time? Undercover? Did Kathy know? Do his kids know? Why didnt they tell him? How has he still not heard abt it from someone? What do you think the purpose is? What are your thoughts?? It’s always been so interesting to me that he clearly doesn’t know still and I wanna figure out why that is, why the writers chose to do that

i don't know why they made it, but i know why i would have done it, if i'd been in charge -

bc leaving the door open for liv telling him about lewis herself, and him not knowing, is fucking grade a top tier angst. that is delicious drama. that kind of dramatic irony - when we the audience know something vital that a character does not know - is so, so compelling to watch unfold. it's such a good opportunity for entertainment purposes that the logistics seem to matter less than leaving the door open for that confrontation. narratively, it is a fantastic choice.

however, if we're looking for like meta, in-canon explanations, i actually don't think it's that much of a stretch that he doesn't know. he "went walkabout" for some period of time before starting the private security - which i have always read as like. military contracting work - gigs, which did involve him travelling. i don't recall if he tells us specifically how long he was "walkabout", but lewis is 2 years after he left. idk what exactly he meant by walkabout - how does he go walkabout while kathy is at home with a toddler? did he literally go on a little eat pray love adventure after Jenna, leave behind not just the job and olivia but kathy, too? where was he? in a cabin in the woods? hiding out in jersey patching up his relationship with bernie? what the fuck, elliot - but probably it wasn't 2 full years. i think it's safe to say that by the time lewis happens, he's in the private security work. so it's safe to say a) he's no longer reachable at his old number and b) he might not have been in the country when it happened.

so then the question becomes well does anybody else know what happened?

i think the kids are out; yes, what happened to liv was on the news but like. how likely is it that the kids, who are somewhere between like 18-25, are watching the nightly news? how likely is it that they're reading actual newspapers? how likely is it that any news other than big national headlines (which this wouldn't necessarily be, how often do stories about cops getting hurt become national headlines?) is getting to them when they're that age? not to be like "kids don't keep up with the news" but the scale of this news story and the speed with which stories get replaced in the news cycle and the fact that at this point there's no more physical paper on the doorstep makes me think it's entirely likely the kids don't know. especially if any of them went out of state.

which leaves kathy.

knowing what we know about kathy's relationship to eo on account of the letter, i don't think it's out of the question that kathy found out about it, and didn't bring it up. not bc she's keeping it from him, not even bc she thinks he doesn't know, but bc i do think, only two years after elliot left the job, when he's only just settling into his civilian life and then only barely, the last thing i think kathy wants to do is speak olivia's name. it doesn't have to be vindictive on her part; it could just be straight up self preservation. she doesn't want to know if he knows; she doesn't want to be the one to tell him if he doesn't, and if he does she doesn't want to see him grieving for someone else.

and i love the idea that he purposefully doesn't look her up. bc he can't. bc seeing her face, seeing her live her life without him, would break him. bc he knows if he sees her face, even on a computer screen, the ache he feels for her will threaten the new life he's built for his family. he can't do that to kathy, and he can't do it to himself.

aand i also think it's not unlikely that no one's talked to him about. for one thing, they probably all think he knows, and for another, it's been ten years. it's not a wound anyone close to liv wants to reopen, and it's not something that people who aren't close to her are likely to be talking about much.

honestly i would have more questions if he did know (bc wtf, how could he know and not show up for her????) and i would be really disappointed bc i wanna see liv tell him for herself and i want to watch his anguish at learning this news in real time.

[imherebabycakes]

SECRETS & LOYALTY

💙🐢❤️🐢💜🐢🧡

:tbh i write for fun 🤸🏾‍♀️

:oh and I’m a black woman so i might say the word nigga from time to time. if you dont like it, well…🚪🚶🏾‍♀️

:since i dont see it alot with tmtn bayverse fan fics i will be representing different ethnicities. especially black/latino/asian

:i am not a professional writer🤷🏾‍♀️

: good and bad criticism is welcomed, cuz i dont know none of yall either way so its all good , 😗

:if there is bad punctuation, please forgive me. 🙌🏾

:please enjoy and come back again😍



:i do not own tmnt. this is just for fun. everything is to go to their respective owners!!

-present day-

my name is Neptune Star Lewis and im about to tell y’all the story about how i found out that humans or “full humans” aren’t the only ones that inhabit earth. besides already being a believer in aliens thanks to the men in black movies, I always felt that there was something more out there, and i was right.



(time rewind 2018)

- neptunes pov-

i was home in the new apartment my cousin & i just moved to in Brooklyn NY

while putting boxes away , i was talking on the phone with my cousin Blaze who was at a 24 hour cvs a few blocks away picking up her prescription for an inhaler, she has asthma and was due for a refill. over the years we had some scares where she has had asthma attacks that were vary serious that resulted in her needing hospitalization from it. she’s my best cousin & friend we tell each other everything no matter what. i don’t ever have to question her loyalty, lets just say we go back like spinal cores and car seats. 

(Blaze pov)

aye tuney, (neptune’s nik name) i’m on my way back to the house now, ima hit up the corner store for some snacks do you want anything? nah im good on the junk food , but hurry yo ass up cuz I’m not putting all this stuff up by myself, my is back already starting to hurt. girl stop all that woofing, ill be home in 10-15 you big baby. ight bet….

my cousin Neptune seriously needs to take a chill pill once in a while, ever since i had my last asthma attack she’s been on my ass like stank on shit, i know she means well but damn she’s smothering me! i feel like i cant do nothing without letting her know first, she acts as if im a child. i guess that would come naturally for her being as though she’s 23 and im 19… but still she should cut me some slack. DING,DING…..diiiiing!

saved by the bell literally, i got a text from my best friend mikey,i met him 2 years ago after a potential alien invasion happened, and guess what, him and his brothers are the ones that stopped it! i know i know, hard to believe right? well not entirely. he and his 3 brothers are mutant turtles, there’s Leonardo he’s the oldest he has a more serious demeanor then its Rafael he’s all muscle and a complete jock, but he’s a sweetie pie at heart. then there’s Donatello he’s a real life genius, Albert Einstein? who det? Donatello’s intelligence is literally out of this world. and then theres my bestie Michelangelo who’s the baby out of brothers, he is emotionally intelligent, a sweet heart and will smash anyone in call of duty or mario smash bro’s. they are the most lovable selfish people i have ever met and i absolutely love them. themikester- hey blazey you wanna hang out for movie night? we got the movie aqua man. and we can order pizza & wings and i got your favorite ice cream. blaze- wassup Mikey, and thats sound good, but you know i gotta ask the warden for permission first, hopefully she gives me a pardon for tonight. themikster- damn she still ok your case huh?. blaze-yes and it’s driving me nuts,i feel like a caged bird sometimes man. themikster- well to be completely honest i can understand where she’s coming from, that last asthma attack had you in the hospital for 2 weeks, we were all so scared for you blazey! especially me. blaze- i know mikey and i get it,but tonight im busting out i don’t have any classes and im off for the weekend. so ima be there tonight! themikster- whoop whooop yess, ight call me when you’re ready tonight. blaze- ight bet

( back at the apartment)

come on tuney, ima grown ass woman, i am not a little girl anymore and i can take care of myself you know that!.

blaze, i know your grown its just i worry about you alot, im sorry if i come off like a nagging mom sometimes, but we all we got out here , so i cant help it. and you always running off to chill with these so called “friends” that i have yet to meet!! wasssup with that? we don’t keep secrets remember!!!

oh….ummm…well ummm…well when the time is right i’ll introduce you to them okay?

mmmmhhhmmm….i know you playing games , look i aint with all this secret, secret stuff ight!! your my family, my blood cousin, remember where your loyalty lies.

yea tuney, i understand no secrets…..… soooooo we cool?

like the other side of the pillow lazy….(blaze’s nik name) *laughing*

omg i hate when you call me that tuney….

bih do it look like i care? naaaah *laughing * well what time are you leaving? and are they going to bring you back home?

im leaving out at 10pm… oh…a-and i might spend the… n-night

WHAT!!…… *squints eyes* lazy, are you fucking him/them?

WHAT ? * look embarrassingly* no tuney were just friends thats it and thats all. dame!!

okay….okay, i believe you *laughing* i mean i had to ask, i haven’t seen you bring a man home at all, so i presume yo ass still a virgin, but i have noticed a difference in the way you walk them hips spreading girlfriend . well if your not fucking you definitely like or love someone….

ight,,,, ight this is getting uncomfortable…. a- and i dont like anyone.

whatever you say blaze *rolls eyes* you can deny it all you want, but i been there and done that, you got it bad cuzzo.

whatever tuney…..

even though i didn’t want to admit it, Neptune was right, im in love… not only am i in love, but its with my best friend mikey, i wanted to tell him for a while now but i didn’t wanna face possible rejection or ruin our friendship. i dont know what to do. *sigh*

(time jump10:15pm )

like clockwork Mikey and Raph met me at the man hole, 

wasssup little foot

hey raphie

why do you call me that,, you know i despise that name.

i know but i think its cute

really? well then in that case i’ll allow you, and only you to call me that…

cool, beans

hey mikster whats up

blazey, wasssup beautiful

*blushing* hi mickey

so you ready for tonight, ive been waiting to see this movie! im excited, are you?

hell yea i am

ight thing one and two, lets get outta here.

(raphs pov)

little foot is so into my brother mikey its so cute, and obvious but knowing the air head he is he probably doesn’t even realize it.

(Mikey pov)

blazey is so beautiful, her Hershey brown skin and ginger brown coily hair smells and looks so good. she’s my best friend and i love her, aww hell why am i fronting i got it bad for her, i have for a while now. SHIT

(back at the apartment)

a men in black marathon was on tonight, these was my favorite movies. i was cuddled up in my blankets on my king sized bed with some wine and popcorn. every time I watch these movies I can’t help but to think that there are aliens out here living among us or hybrid humans or something like that. I guess I’m somewhat of a conspiracy theorist, but to me i don’t need proof of their existence, i can feel it in my gut that it’s true. they are out there just living. sometimes i wonder am i one, or my cousin. ight tuney chill tf out *laughing to myself* speaking of , i told that heifer to call me when she gets to her bff house. * rolls eyes* let me call her

(blazes pov)

the move is like that, and the main character is definitely eye candy.

looking around me i notice all the boys are into the movie, raph is in the big recliner knitting what looks like another blanket, donnie, leo and ,my self are all on the couch, loe is stuffing his face with gummy bears and donnie is licking yet another pop tart. mikey was on the floor spread out on the bean bag drinking numerous sodas eating popcorn and M&Ms. and all i had was my favorite ice cream(strawberry shortcake)

about 30 minutes into the movie my phone starts ringing, startling everyone in the living room.

*simultaneous gasps*

sorry guys

no phones during the movie blaze, says leo

i know leo my bad, its my cousin

is everything okay?… donnie? says

yea i forgot to call her to let her know im ok

oh ok do you want us to pause the movie?, loe says 

nah, you guys continue ill be right back!

i step off and reluctantly answer,

yooo??

dont yo me ! i told yo black ass to call me when you got there!!

i know my bad i got carried away in the fun tuney dont trip.

mmhhhmmm… what you mean fun? i thought yall was just watching movies. you sure thats all you doin over there lazy?

yes tuney,we’re just chilling

yes ight well next time call me as soon as you get there.

bet.

as i was walking back to the living room i bumped into mikey

hey blazey you okay?

yea mikey im good

oh okay well the movie is getting good, so come on

o….okay right behind you.

(neptunes pov)

I honestly don’t know what to think about Blaze‘s so called friends. or the fact that I haven’t even met them yet or the fact that they’re all boys. god i hope my baby cousin ain’t on no freaky type shit like that, not that i would shame her if she was but gah lee, just the thought.well one of these days ima get to the bottom of it all, i mean why doesn’t she trust me enough to tell me about them? im honestly proud of myself for my self control because i could’ve followed her on numerous occasions to find answers, but if i did that she’d never let me forget it. and she is grown and is entitled to her privacy.

1 hour later

(blaze pov)

that movie was so good y’all i really enjoyed it.

yea it was cool. *yarns* well im pooped im goin to bed, goodnight everyone!

night leo

night brah

night

goodnight leo, guys im kinda tired to,

you can sleep in my room tonight little foot, i have to finish this blanket, then i’ll probably go workout

NO!!!…iii…i mean she can sleep in my room, i cleaned up and everything.

*collectively staring at mikey*

oooookay……anyways, guys the couch is fine, im not a guest anymore remember, im good.

if you say so. well ill be in my lab if you need me.

later little foot.

30 minutes later

as many blankets that i have on the couch it’s still kind of uncomfortable sometimes, maybe I should’ve took raphs offer to sleep in his bed instead. plus its cold out here to and a little creepy

i wonder if mikey is still awake?

welp lemme find out….

( mikey’s pov)

i cannot sleep, i just keep thinking about blazey.

she’s so beautiful and smart and down to hearth. she’s perfect to me

KNOCK Knock

mikey you up?

blazey?

yea?

come in!!!

sup,…..ummm.y…you okay

yea its just, well… its cold and creepy out there…….can i sleep with you please!!

*screams internally*

umm yeas sure, come one

thanks mikester

omg she’s smells so damn good, and she’s so warm. god help me

umm mikey?

yes?

are you okay you seem a little stiff?

*hell no, yo fine sexy chocolate ass is in my bed, wearing booty shorts and a tank top on. i can see the nipple piercings through the shirt. omg im gonna pass out*

oh yea im fine

well then come on, cuddle with me

*i hope little mikey doesn’t get up*

okay….sure

nuzzled under my neck lies the woman that i am head over hills for,

about 15 minutes later, she turns around and now her big bubble ass is  against dick. god help me

*lil mikey wants out!!!! *

*twitch, twitch*

i back up from her, and what does she do?

she backs that thang back up on me, and puts my hand over her stomach. this woman is trying to kill me!

*twitch twitch*

(blaze pov)

for some reason mikey is acting weird, this ain’t The first time I’ve slept in his bed. so im confused

i drift off to sleep,but after awhile i notice that mikey moved off and away from me, so i moved closer to him, my back to his chest and i pulled his arm over me. no sooner then i do that i feel too vary hard taps on my ass.

*i know that ain’t what i think it is*

um mikey

yes

you good

umm… y-yea im good

*tap tap*

mikey why are you touching my ass?

im sorry blazey, its my dick, when you leaned back on me you rubbed it. and i honestly cant help it

omg im sorry mikey i didn’t mean it ill go back on the couch.

NO PLEASE DONT GO!!!!!

okay i wont…are you okay mikey?

honestly no…n-no im not

what’s wrong, you know you can tell me anything

i know, blazey

so go ahead, im all ears

* unbeknownst to me this big star burst full of love was about to pour his heart out… to me!*

BLAZE IM IN LOVE WITH YOU ! and i have been for months now, since the first time I saw you I knew that I wanted you to be in my life whether it be friends or more.  you’re so smart,funny,kind the most importantly beautiful. and every time I see you my heart flutters. blazey you bring me to climax without sex..(2pac reference) and i love you with all my heart.

surprised at his words all my dumb ass i could say was….. woah… just woah. “really blaze”but i honestly felt the same way he did, but i didn’t get a chance to say my peace because i guess by my lack of words his confidence deteriorated & he started back tracking.

its stupid huh? to think that an ugly mutant like me would ever have a chance with a woman like you, im outtah here!!wha…. what are y….. mikey where are you going!!

away from here!!!!

MIKEY WAIT…. STOP!!!

ugh this man got me chasing him in the middle of the night

about five minutes later I come a section in the sewer where the guys used to play when they were younger. raph and donnie showed me this place a little while after ide met them, and as i walk a little further inside lo and behold there was my Mikey. as i approached him I noticed his face and eyes were puffy from crying. 

mikster…..i…umm…i need to say something

I already know what you’re going to say.

oh really…. well enlighten me please

yes,…..you’re gonna say “ I like you as a friend Mikey” “I would never be with an ugly monster like you” “i’d rather be with a human” “i wouldn’t be caught dead with a beat like you”

a bit annoyed at his remark, i sigh and cross my arms over my chest Mikey come on now, does that even sound like something I would say to you? thats not even my M.O

i… i don’t know blazey. im a bit emotional and confused right now

well listen up, kneeling in front of him i grab his hands and try to look him in his gorgeous sky blue eyes. but he won’t look at me at all. with a little more aggressiveness i grab his chin making him look at me. and repeat myself

i have something to say!!

*clears throat*

I LOVE YOU TO Michelangelo

he looks at me dead in my face and tears starts to form in his eyes when he says

you…you…love me?

of course i do , very much i said with a huge smile on my face. but no sooner did his tears come, they soon left his Face scrunched up in anger and he shouted at me….me!!

look ima a big boy you don’t have to pity me with lies okay!! i can take your rejection but the lying is to much for me

sitting there appalled I honestly don’t know if I wanna Kimbo slice his ass or bust out laughing at the false accusations he had of me. so me going on instinct i jump the gun and smash my lips ever so gently into his. he smelled of honey buns and tasted like milk chocolate.. gaaah leee what have i been missing. then out the cut all I feel are too big hands cuff my ass and give it a squeeze. & did i stop it???

hell tf no!!!

muttering through us kissing, all i hear is a hazy lustful mikey say, da….aamn blazeeey. i… i love you! ahh…an… deeet…..aaaass

HORNEY AINT EVEN THE WORD !

multiple parts are definitely in the works!!! i just had to get this off my mind before i forgot

[write-ur-wrongs]

Be Your Man

A/N: I know I say it every time, but seriously, thank you SO MUCH for your requests, anon or otherwise. It means the world to me that you trust me with your visions. Here’s a requested fic inspired by the song “Be Your Man” by Rhys Lewis! It’s angsty and has the slightest hint of smut if you look really hard. As always, there are no physical descriptions of the reader! I hope you like it - I cried at the end lmao. 

It’s not proof-read so I apologize in advance!! I really hope you like it. 

_______________________________________________________

Being with the bard was, in a word, comfortable.

His connections ensured you always had a soft bed in a warm inn waiting for you at the end of the day. His reputation and acclaim afforded you a higher status among villagers, scholars, and even knights. Everyone loved his music and adored his visits. With him, you were always welcome.

With him, every day was a gift and every evening a celebration. With him, you never found yourself in harm’s way. Never felt the gnawing pull of hunger or the ache of thirst. He never left your side and you had no reason to leave his. And he loved you, he really did. He showed you everyday, through his songs, his words, his touch.

You were his sun and you were, for lack of a kinder word, comfortable.

That isn’t something you were used to, being comfortable. Your life had been tumultuous from the start and you had hardened yourself accordingly. Everything you had you’d earned as a journeying blacksmith; working whatever you could to make a sale. Now though, having access to any workshop, material, or tradesman the continent could offer, you were at the height of your craft.

But still, nothing could ever compare to the blade you forged for Geralt.

It was stunning, perfectly balanced, crafted from your best steel and iron Geralt had been gifted from the mines of Mahakam. The ornate curve of the hilt took you days to perfect and the faceted garnet you’d set within the pommel shone brilliantly with a clarity that royal houses across the continent would envy.

“It’s exceptional,” he murmured, completely in awe, while examining your work, “how you manage to make your blades look so intricate without sacrificing quality, I’ll never understand.”

You bit your smile to keep yourself from gushing as you watched him wield the sword as if it was an extension of him. And it should be, as you crafted it with him in mind.

“Whoever buys this will be one lucky bastard,” he said as he came out of a mock-parry and pirouette.

“Oh, I’m not selling it!” you said, shaking your head at him as he sheathed the weapon.

“What? Y/N this could get you four maybe five hundred Novigrad crowns! Did someone commission you for it?”

“No, no, it’s a gift.”

“Y/N you are far too generous.” He admonished, attempting to hand the sword back to you.

“Hush, it’s for you.” You say, laying your hands over his, your eyes sparkling.

Gods the way he looked at you then. The way his face softened when you laid your hands over his, how his breath hitched when you took a step towards him. Your bodies so close, eyes flitting from his hooded lids to his lips, and when you finally –

“We’re just about there, darling!” Jaskier sang, pulling you out of your reverie just as the familiar ache began pulling at your lower belly.

“Ah! Y-yes! Wonderful!”

“Well look at you, you’re blushing! Are you remembering the last time we were here?” He teased flirtatiously, giving your thigh a squeeze.

“Mm you know me well,” you lied, quickly taking his hand in yours to get it off your thigh. “How much farther, would you say? I’m starving.”

“Not too long, darling.” He said softly, glad that you were watching the forest with rapt attention, and praying the sting of your deflection wouldn’t be too obvious should you turn to meet his eyes. You didn’t turn to look at him though, and that filled the bard with both relief and immense sadness.

Jaskier wasn’t a fool, he recognized your guilt, sensed the way your heart longed for another. But every now and then, when it was just the two of you, he was sure he saw joy in your eyes. You loved him, maybe not quite as he loved you, but he was certain you loved him.

She just loves him more. He smiled at you sadly, rubbing his thumb along the back of your hand in silent resignation.

**

“God, I fucking love these beds!” you sighed blissfully, rolling onto your back. The pair of you had meant to get your room and then head out into the village to find work but you hadn’t been able to ignore the fire the earlier memories had ignited.

“Careful my sweet, or I’ll start to think you’re only with me for the fine accommodations.” Jaskier chanced, hoping you’d finally say the three words he so desperately wanted to hear you say, and see that you meant it.

“Ha! Shut up, Jask.” You laughed lightly, snuggling into his arms where you couldn’t catch the disappointment in his eyes, and where he couldn’t see the sadness in yours. Don’t go there, Y/N, you thought, Jask is Jask, and he loves you just fine.  

“Why don’t you let me,” you whisper, peppering his neck and jaw with kisses between words, desperate to get your mind off your witcher, “show you how much I love you?”

“Aa-euhm…” Jaskier let out a breathless squeal as your hand creeped between his thighs and he let himself be lost in your touch. Maybe, he thought, good enough could be enough.

**

You’d given up on the idea to go out to find work long before the sun had set on the village, but that surely didn’t keep work from finding you. The pair of you had barely settled yourselves at the table when you were recognized and showered in contracts.

“Please, madam, I know it’s not the priceless blades you normally work with, but my pots and pans are in desperate need to be replaced –”

“Of course, miss Eldridge,” you interrupted the inn’s owner gently, placing a light hand over hers to calm her nerves, “it would be a pleasure to help you. I’ve recently been working with new casting molds, and it would be an honour to sell you my first.”

“Oh, my! Thank you, Y/N, thank you!”

“No, thank you – this stew is easily the best we’ve ever had! It would be a crime if you weren’t able to keep serving.”

“Oh, you’re too kind!” she laughed humbly, giving your arm a squeeze in thanks before walking back to the kitchen.

You were beaming as you watched the woman practically skip back behind the heavy wooden door.

“What? Why are you staring?” you asked Jaskier, bringing your beer up for a long sip.

“I love watching you work; you shine like the stars on a winter’s night.” He said, reaching over to hold your hand in his.

“Ugh, Jask,” you groaned, wrinkling your nose at his poetics. “You’re such a cheeseball,” you teased him lightly, as you’d done many times before, but this time something flashed in his eyes.

“Hey! I know you were never showered in compliments when you were with Geralt, but-”

“What?!” you interrupted, practically spitting out your last sip.

Jaskier merely leaned back in his seat and gave you a one-shouldered shrug. You could tell he was trying to be aloof but in the six months you’d been together, the topic of Geralt had been a like a landmine. Someone always got hurt, actually, you both ended up hurt.

“What do you mean, ‘what’? I’m not wrong here, love.”

“Look, I didn’t mean to hurt you, Jask. It was a beautiful sentiment, really! I’m just – y-you know how I am with this kind of stuff.”

“I know, dear” he said quietly, keeping his eyes on his drink.

“I adore your work,” you added, your nerves heightened by his apparent sense of calm, “I’m just not… always comfortable being the subject.”

“My expressions of love make you uncomfortable now?” he scoffed, looking up at you with big, sad eyes.

“No! No, Jask. T-that’s not what I meant!” you put your drink down and scooted closer to him to take both his hands in yours. “Jaskier, please… I love you. This is how I love, it-it’s who I am, it’s how I am. Please, I’m sorry. I’ll be your star.”

Jaskier only shook his head slowly as he looked into your eyes. “I’ve seen you in love, Y/N. I believe you love me,” he said, giving your hands a squeeze, “but you’re not in love with me.”

“That isn’t true, Jask.” You whispered, blinking back heavy tears. You held his hands so tightly now, as if afraid he’d just disappear into thin air before you.

“It is though, and that’s okay.”

“Jaskier…”

“You know, you always use my name,” he said, nodding slightly as he thought, “not always my full name, but alas.”

You opened your mouth to disagree but couldn’t bring yourself to use a pet name, and so your mouth opened and closed silently like a fish. The bard looked at you knowingly with his large, knowing eyes, full of love but still heavy with sadness.

“Jaskier,” you finally conceded, feeling yourself crumble under his heavy gaze, “what’s happening?” you asked, your voice coming out of you like a strangled whisper.

“What do you want to happen?”

“I can’t lose you too.”

“‘Too’.” He repeated flatly.

You wanted to comfort him, to correct him, but nothing was coming to you. He wasn’t wrong, and you couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him now.

“Why are we doing this now, Jask? I thought we were doing okay. I thought we were happy,” you finally managed to ask, your voice shaky.

“Look, I’m,” he tried, his own voice breaking despite himself, “I know I can’t compare with him.” He waited a beat to see if you’d interrupt him with a correction and when you didn’t, he rested his elbows on the table and leaned closer to you and took a deep breath before continuing.

“I know how you feel. How you’ve… been feeling. Y/N, Geralt is here. He walked in not long ago, and he’s sitting at the back the of bar.”

Everything went blurry. You could tell he was still talking to you it was like your ears were stuffed with cotton – everything was muffled but too loud. You were going to pass out. Or throw up. Or both. Every inch of you was screaming to turn around and look for him, but you were frozen in place like a deer who’d spotted the archer and heard the bow snap but just stood stock-still and let the arrow hit.

“Y/N,” Jaskier pulled your hands closer to him, pulling you back to reality along with them, “I made the decision that I’m okay being your second choice,” he swallowed thickly before continuing, “but now I need you to make a choice.”

You felt as though you’d just been struck. He was looking at you with too much kindness, too much understanding, too much compassion. Holding his gaze made you feel as though a knife was being twisted into your chest, but you were so afraid that if you looked away, he’d leave you.

“My dove,” he says softly as if reading your mind, “I love you and no matter what you chose I’ll be there for you, always. I just want you to be truly happy.”  

You squeezed your eyes shut to keep more tears from falling, but upon feeling him get up to leave the table, your eyes shot open and you let the tears fall.

Very softy, Jaskier cradled your face in his hand and gave your forehead a lingering kiss before pulling away.

“I’m going to head upstairs… I’ll see you up there?” he whispered hopefully.

You nodded up at him wordlessly and let the tears fall as you watched him head up the stairs.

Left alone, you wrapped your arms around yourself and bit your cheek until you tasted blood to keep yourself from openly sobbing. The bustle of the inn allowed you some sense of privacy, which you appreciated, but it also exacerbated your loneliness. Letting out a shaky breath, you poured the rest of your drink into your mouth and swished it around to wash away the blood before swallowing.

Jaskier knew. All these months you thought you were the only one hurting, the only one who felt the weight of the witcher’s memory, but you were wrong. Gods were you ever wrong.

You felt terrible, and far too sober. You quickly swiped at your tear-soaked face, picked up your empty stein and turned to make your way to the bar.

But then you saw him.

He was alone, as always, wearing the thick wool cape you loved. The hood wasn’t up so you could see that his snow-white hair was a mess of knots. His eyes were fixed on his drink, so you were saved from meeting his gaze. Gods, you’ve missed him, and fuck he looked good. And tired. Your heart broke at the sight of him.

Then he looked up at you and your breath caught in your throat. His rich, golden eyes were looking straight at you… and they were vacant. He was looking through you, not at you; he didn’t remember you or care to, and your already broken heart shattered once more.

I am nothing to him, you thought somberly, exchanging your empty mug for a full one. You took a deep, shaky breath and downed your beer in one go, slamming the stein back down decisively. But I’m everything to him, maybe that will be enough.

Before heading up the stairs to where you knew the bard was waiting, you allowed yourself one last look at Geralt, only to find he wasn’t at his table anymore. Seems the fates had decided for you, your thought, letting a hollow laugh escape your lips.

The staircase wasn’t especially long, but the trip up felt unending. You took every step slowly, allowing yourself these brief moments of grief over the official loss of your witcher before you committed yourself fully to Jaskier. No more daydreams, no more longing, no more imagining his large, strong arms around you while the bard’s sinewy frame enveloped you.

You had just about convinced yourself that you’d made the right decision when you spotted him, leaning against the wall at the top of the stairs.

“G-Geralt,” you breathed, feeling yourself smile despite yourself.

“Y/N.”

“What, um, how – uh, hi,” you stuttered, needing to look up at the ceiling to keep yourself from completely melting under the burn of his gaze.

“Hm,” he hummed, taking a hesitant step towards you, “still the wordsmith I see.”

“Hilarious,” you retorted, falling effortlessly back into your habits. “I’m happy to see you’ve still got my blade,” you said, nodding to the sword behind his back.

“Of course,” he breathed, now dangerously close to you. “I take you with me everywhere.”

“You mean my blade?” you scoffed with a roll of your eyes.

“No.” he said, his eyes boring into you, sparking the flame you’d spent so long trying to tamp out. “Are you here with him?” he asked with a tilt of his head.

“You know I am.” You replied defensively, irrationally angry to hear him bring up the bard.

“How is he?”

“He’s fine,” you spat, but seeing the way Geralt’s eyes softened knowingly at you, you couldn’t help but to backpedal your aggression. “He’s Jaskier, you know? All silver linings and sunshine.”

“I’m sure,” he murmured, casting his eyes downward as he remembered his friend’s almost insufferable positively. “And you? Are you happy?”

“Geralt…” you practically groaned, crossing your arms to keep the heat radiating off of him from taking over you.

“Are you?” he insisted, reaching over to let his warm, calloused fingers ghost over your forearm. The feeling lit your body on fire and left an obvious layer of goosebumps in their wake.

He was standing so close to you know, you could smell the leather, cedar, and smoke emanating off of him, just like it always had. You could feel his breath on your face. Despite yourself, you looked up at him through your lashes. His proximity was intoxicating, inexplicably comforting.

“This is cruel… you’re being cruel…” you whispered, wiping stubborn tears away but not taking a step in any direction, unable to risk his leaving if you were to move.

“Y/N…”

“He loves me, Geralt, so much.” You insisted, almost like a mantra.

“But are you happy?” Now he was whispering. He sounded sad, his deep gravelly voice melting over you like sunlight after a frozen night.

“Geralt –” you warned, shaking your head.

“Answer me.”

“No. I-I’m not.”

“You’re not going to answer me?”

“I’m not happy.” You conceded, the truth of the statement washing over you as you heard yourself say it.

“Me either.”

You looked up at Geralt then, letting yourself take in the sight of him in full; his eyes, big and sad and fierce as ever, his brows furrowed, creating that deep crease you so desperately wanted to reach up and soothe, his mouth, his lips. You were barely inches from each other now, all you had to do was tip your chin, stand a little straighter…

He closed the gap between you then, his lips crashing into yours hungrily. You fully surrendered yourself to him, reveling in the feeling of his body against yours and you let yourself be happy, insanely, deliriously happy, for the first time in months.

***

Jaskier sat on the edge of the bed, his head in both hands, and sobbed. His broken breath echoed around the empty room, sporadically drowning out the sound of his best friend kissing the love of his life on the other side of the door.

She was never mine, he thought as sobs broke through him.

She was never mine.

[ketamineharry]

Small Bump - Harry Lewis

Requested: Yes ~ Hi Nikki, I hope you’re well. I was just wondering if you could write an imagine based on Small Bump by Ed Sheeran, it doesn’t matter which boy it is. Thank you x

Trigger Warning: Miscarriage

You looked down at the two red lines, not quite believing what was about to happen or how much your life would change. Having been with your partner, Harry for a matter of months you weren’t quite sure if either of you were prepared or ready for this life changing event. Especially considering that you were still at uni, and Harry’s YouTube career was only just taking off.

Telling him was going to be the hardest part. To say that Harry could be unpredictable was an understatement. As endearing as it was to you, Harry wasn’t always the best at reacting to things. A mixture of being socially awkward and socially anxious, he always wanted to do what was right but it never really came out in the way he had hoped.

You could feel your hands becoming more clammy, as you walked into his bedroom, his stream ongoing as he guessed one country or another on Geoguesser. He was knocked out of his little bubble though, when you rapped your fingers on his door. As you clutched the pregnancy test in your other hand.

He beckoned you in, as he ended his stream. As you sat on his bed, you presented him with the positive pregnancy test. A breath hitched in your throat as you awaited his response, milliseconds felt like an eternity. Before you had time to process what was happening, he had enveloped you in a hug.

“I’m gonna be a dad.” He beamed, as he placed a kiss to your forehead.

“You’re not annoyed then?” You asked, as you nervously chewed your lip.

“It’s come out of the blue, but it’s not a complete stinker, we’re gonna have a baby.”

You nodded simply, as he pulled you in for a quick kiss. One of his hands cupped your face, as the other gently found their way to your abdomen. Resting there for a few moments, as he stared at you in awe.

“I do have one request though,” he began, his tone playful. “If it’s a boy… Can we call him Harry junior? It’s the perfect name for the strapping donny he’s bound to be.”

“I’ll consider it.” You jested, as you pulled him in for another kiss.

Nothing could have felt better than this moment, you were absolutely sure of it. You were about to have a baby with the person that you loved most in the world, a human who was going to be half of you and half of him; yet total perfection.

-

As the weeks went on, Harry continued to prove that he was the perfect dad to your unborn baby. Waking up at all hours of the morning, making sure that you were fed and hydrated. Going out to the twenty-four hour shops to get you, your food cravings.

He had even taken to speaking to the small bump that had started to form. It had become a favourite pastime for the both of you, as you sprawled out on the sofa, your legs resting up against a footstool. While Harry rested his head on your bump, telling your baby about their future uncles and the crazy filming schedule they had. Occasionally pressing soft kisses to the skin.

“You have been quite the surprise little one, but as soon as you’re here… our future begins with you.” He whispered softly, as he interlocked his fingers with yours. A look of complete bliss, spread across his features as he looked up at you.

“I still can’t believe you’re growing a little donny in there. You amaze me.”

“We’ve still got a long way to go. I’m only at ten weeks, which means there’s approximately another thirty to go. But, if the little one decides to show up late, like their father… there’s no telling how long they’ll be.” You joked.

-

It had been a long twelve weeks, but it was finally time for your first scan. As long as everything was fine here, you were going to be able to tell your loved ones that you were expecting a bundle of joy. Harry was dying to tell the boys that they were going to be uncles, especially since they had all wanted to be uncles for each other’s children for the longest time.

As you went in, Harry helped you to get onto the bed. Holding your hand. The midwife applied some cold gel to your stomach and pressed the fetal doppler on your abdomen.

The loud ba dum ba dum ba dum, of your baby’s heartbeat filled the room. You had never heard anything like it. It was without a doubt the most beautiful sound that you had ever heard.

“That’s our baby.” You whispered in disbelief, as you looked over at Harry. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye as he smiled back at you. He took your hand in his and placed a kiss on your wrist.

The appointment drew to a close, with you both content that your baby was happy and healthy. You couldn’t wait to be able to tell everyone, starting with your respective families. Including the sidemen boys, and your closest friend from university Lucy. Everyone was ecstatic, and excited to meet the future Lewis.

-

It was early one Thursday morning when you first felt the pain. Not wanting to wake Harry, you crept to the en-suite. Hoping it was just the baby making itself known, the first feeling of a little kick. You pulled your pyjama pants down, and to your horror you were faced with a sea full of red blood.

“Harry.” You screamed. Panic overtaking your system. The amount of blood wasn’t normal for your level of spotting, you got the odd amount every now and then. But this was an amount that you weren’t used to.

Harry rushed into the bathroom, as he took in your state of panic and bewilderment. He frantically searched the bedroom for some clothes. After collecting some underwear, a pair of joggers and a loose fitting top, he thrust it at you. The air thick with the sense of an emergency.

“Whatever’s going on, I’m sure it’ll be ok.” He assured you. He took your hand in his, as he gently led you to the car, strapping you in before going around to the driver's seat.

“But what if somethings wrong?” You questioned. The very real possibility of something being wrong with your baby, knocked you sick. Even without the baby with you, you had motherly instincts. You wanted to protect this being at all costs.

“Even if the baby has something wrong with it… it’ll be ok. We’re fighters and I can assure you, our baby is too, Y/N.” He said, as he attempted to reassure you with a half smile.

The ride to the hospital felt like it took an age. According to Harry, it was only fifteen minutes. Again, he took your hand and gently led you into the hospital. His optimism being the only thing that allowed you to function. He explained to the receptionist what was going on, and yet again, he led you to the correct department.

He instructed you to sit down on the metal chair, as you waited to be seen. The pain, however, just increased. With it almost being unbearable.

“Harry, please get someone. Something is wrong with our baby.” You whispered, between hurried breaths. Half to do with pain, half to do with panic.

“Excuse me,” he shouted, as a nurse walked past. “We need some urgent help, please.”

He explained the situation, and the nurse took you both into a private room. She retrieved fetal doppler from a drawer, and again placed the cold gel on your stomach. She placed the gadget on your skin, trying her best to locate a heartbeat. It was a vain effort, however, as one couldn’t be found.

“I regret to inform you…” the nurse began. But you couldn’t bear to hear it. Nothing could compare to the sadness that you felt in that moment. The most natural thing that your body was supposed to do, yet it had failed to do so. If you couldn’t keep your baby safe enough to carry it until full term, how could you ever have thought that you were going to be able to protect your child throughout its life.

“Harry, tell her she’s wrong.” You demanded. “She has to be wrong. It’s our baby.” You whispered, turning to him for some sort of conformation or comfort. But it didn’t come.

For the first time in your relationship, Harry was silent. He didn’t know what to do to make it better for you. He didn’t know what to do to make it better for himself either. As the tears streamed down both of your faces, he turned to you and broke the silence for the first time in the last couple of minutes.

“It’s not your fault and I still love you, more than anything. We’ll get through this I promise.”

[winterscaptain]

roots.

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: another one from 2026! aaron retires from federal service this year, at 57. 

words: 2.4k warnings: kids!, missing haley hotchner hours, language

summary: “Every day the increasing weight of years admonishes me more and more, that the shade of retirement is as necessary to me as it will be welcome.” ― George Washington, Farewell Address. au!october 2026

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!

SSA Mallory Kagan asks you to outline your career with the FBI - purposefully using your first name instead of using your title. It keeps the students guessing and paying attention. 

Plus, the payoff when they figure out who you are is the best part of the whole lecture. 

“My career at the FBI is more like a big tree than a path or a journey.” 

You look out over the classroom - blue shirts abound - and take a deep breath to center yourself. 

You’re used to giving this lecture with Aaron, but this is your first fall without him, which also means that this is the first academy class who won’t know him in person. 

They’ll only hear tell of the legend SSA Aaron Hotchner was stabbed nine times, lost his wife to a serial killer, and kept going. You know they’ll hear stories about his severity, his general lack of sunniness, hear rumors about the way he laughs with his children, his wife, and nobody else. 

You know the older agents tell stories about you, too. They say you ‘tamed’ Hotch, made him a little nicer. They might even say they’ve seen him smile at you, or they’ve seen you give him hell in public. 

Aaron Hotchner is practically a myth, now, only supported by your reputation, tall tales from academy classes of yesteryear, and his own legacy.

That retired bastard currently sits in your house with your kids, right on his fine behind, very likely falling into boredom-addled insanity. 

“Everything that I am - a parent, a wife, a friend, and an agent - is because of my work with the Behavioral Analysis Unit over the past nineteen years. My unit is my family, and I can’t get rid of them. Just like our own families, we love to hate each other.” 

The room laughs, and you know you have them hooked. 

“Jokes aside, I would encourage you to get to know your colleagues. Each relationship I built within my unit put a root into the ground, made the proverbial tree stronger - to extend the metaphor. I work with very few of the same people I started with, but I feel as steady and supported as I did back when they called us ‘The Elite Eight.’” 

You chuckle a little, clicking through your introductory slide to showcase a photo of the BAU in 2012. You point to each of them as you speak. 

“SSA Emily Prentiss, current unit chief of the Behavior Analysis unit and former head of the Interpol London office, responsible for taking down one of the most prolific international arms dealers in modern history.” 

The room is quiet, a little awestruck, so you add, “She’s a bit of a big deal.” 

They laugh.

“SSA Derek Morgan - you’ll probably hear stories about how he survived the Boston bombing with SSA Gideon in 2005, but don’t worry. He wasn’t there. He was with his momma in Chicago, celebrating her birthday.”

Another laugh. 

You’ve honed this routine over the last five years, knowing what to add, when to pause, what to cut if the students lose interest. 

“That said, SSA Morgan is one of the best profilers I’ve had the pleasure of working with. Today, he’s a consultant for DC Metro SWAT and is otherwise retired.”

Continuing down the line, “SSA Jennifer Jareau - JJ. Former communications liaison for the BAU, State Department, and DoD. She currently serves with the BAU as a profiler. If any of you are interested in PR or media relations, find an opportunity to speak with her about her experience. Her husband, Will, is a detective with the DC Metro Police and has plenty of stories of his own.”

A student raises a hand, and you give her the go-ahead. 

“Sorry for interrupting -“

You stop her. “You didn’t interrupt. You raised your hand. Don’t apologize for taking up space.” 

She smiles a little. “Okay. Um, I’m curious. How many people in your unit are married and/or have children? My understanding is that the work-life balance can be difficult in heavy-travel positions like the BAU.”

“It can absolutely be a challenge.” You look back at the photo. “In the course of my career, six of my colleagues have been or were already married and all of them went on to have children.”

“And you?”

You laugh a little, forgetting you’re alone up here. “Right.” 

The class laughs, and you point yourself out on the slide. 

“I still had my maiden name when this photo was taken, but now I share five children and a last name with SSA Aaron Hotchner.” You throw your thumb at Aaron’s likeness on the screen again for good measure. 

You check in with SSA Kagan to make sure you can share everything you usually do with Aaron present - your marriage was often the punchline of your lectures, letting you toe the line of humor a little farther than you normally would. 

She nods, a little smile on her face. 

“While I wouldn’t necessarily recommend dating your unit chief or marrying your section chief -“ you pause, holding your hands up in surrender to the echo of laughter “- even if they are the same person - you can certainly find the best people without looking too hard.” 

Hands shoot up into the air, but that always happens. It’s around this time people start asking the good questions. The people from their course materials and the people in front of them start to link together. 

They also figure out that you’re Agent Hotchner. That Agent Hotchner - the one married to the Agent Hotchner. 

You look out over the crowd again. “I know you have lots of questions, and I’m happy to confirm or deny any rumors about myself or my family, but,” you pause for dramatic effect. “Hold them for now - you’ll want to know the players before you ask the questions.” 

Hands drop, but pens start moving. You continue down the line, skipping over Aaron. 

“SSA David Rossi, a founding member of the BAU in the late 1980’s. He worked closely with SSA Jason Gideon, developing a database that we use to this day - one that outlines signatures, modus operandi, and victimology of modern serial killers. SSA Rossi is also well-known for his books - ten of them, in fact, that cover what we do in a kind of…” 

You search for a word. 

“Conversational format. He retired a couple of years ago, and is a full-time grandpa to all 16 of the BAU offspring.”

A few scattered chuckles pass through the room. 

“And then we have Dr. Spencer Reid - I could enumerate his degrees, but we don’t have that kind of time. He’s the smartest person I’ve ever met, and remains an asset to the BAU in the field today.” 

You click to another slide - a photo of all of you taken a few weeks ago. 

“SSA Matthew Simmons - retired from the United States Army and former member of the FBI International Response Team, or IRT. He’s been with the BAU for ten years now. Like Dr. Reid and SSA Prentiss, he knows multiple languages - which comes in handy.” You look out and raise your eyebrows. “I hope all of you did well in your Spanish classes in high school - you might need it.” 

Another laugh. 

“SSA Luke Alvez and Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia are another pair that come from, shall we say, nontraditional backgrounds. While Garcia is no longer with the BAU, SSA Alvez is also celebrating his tenth year with us this fall.” 

A student raises his hand, and you call on him. 

“Isn’t Penelope Garcia the hacker known as The Black Queen? I learned about her work when I was at MIT.” 

You snort. “Nice way to slip in you went to MIT, there, bud.” You pause, waiting for the ruckus to die down as the student in question turns bright red. “But yes. Her experience was invaluable to our team. Just to keep up, we stole an analyst from the NSA to replace her - nobody else could cut the mustard.” 

You look back, stepping forward and pacing as you speak.”And finally, Dr. Tara Lewis. Formerly working in the FBI Counsel’s office as a forensic psychologist, she joined our team on cases where specific pathologies were in play before becoming a full-fledged member of our team.

“So, as you can see, there are so many varied qualities we look for in profilers, and your own path will be informed by the skills you develop, your temperament, and your dedication to the work itself. There’s no right way to be an agent, and when you leave the academy in five weeks, the whole world of the bureau will be open to you.” 

Clicking back to your introductory slide, you turn to the front of the classroom. “I know all my colleagues well enough to take any questions you may have about their careers and paths through the bureau. For any questions I can’t answer, I am happy to direct you to them with the understanding they may not get back to you due to our caseload. I’ll take your questions now.” 

Hands shoot up into the air, and you specifically call on the student in the back - the one you know has a question about Aaron. 

“So, when you say SSA Aaron Hotchner, you mean the same one that worked the Boston Reaper case for ten years?”

SSA Kagan checks in with you, ready to shut him down, but you call her off. 

“That’s right. SSAs Jareau, Morgan, Prentiss, Rossi, Dr. Reid, Miss Garcia, and I worked that case in its final year as well.” 

“I have a follow-up if that’s okay.” 

You tacitly give him leave to continue. 

“How do you handle cases that get that… close? I know there were considerable...” He searches for the right word. “...challenges. How did you guys deal with that?”  

Good question. 

Returning to the podium, you lean heavily against it, lacing your fingers in front of you. “You’ve all read the Reaper case file, yes? It’s still included in the MCRT training courses?”

There are nods around the room, but you check in with Kagan anyway. 

“The declassified version is covered,” She says. “They’re familiar with the full scope of the case.” 

“Okay. So, as you all know…”

You remind them what happened, from 1998 to 2009, finally landing where the students want you. “And on November 23rd, 2009, Haley Reneé Hotchner was George Foyet’s 40th and final victim. She was thirty-nine years old. And she was my friend.” 

The room is dead silent, all eyes on you, somber and attentive. 

“The case was personal. It became personal because Foyet forced our hands. He attacked Agent Hotchner in his home and then targeted his family. So, the question is, how do we deal with that? Right?” 

Even Kagan’s watching you closely. It’s the first time you’ve covered this case without the rest of your team. In your joint lectures with Aaron, the case is off-limits for questions. She’s never heard you tell the story in your own words. 

You take a breath. “And the answer is… you don’t.” 

There are some confused faces, so you elaborate. “There isn’t anything you can do to push the case away from you - that’s how people get hurt. In the meantime, you make adjustments. Agent Hotchner placed Agent Morgan in an interim unit chief position until the case was over, for the sake of his health and sanity. We chased down every lead, understanding that the faster we caught Foyet, the faster Haley and Jack, Agent Hotchner’s son, could come home.” 

A young woman in front tentatively raises a hand, and you open a hand to her. “Yes?” 

“What happened, you know, after?” 

“We moved on as best we could. Going back to my original point -” 

You leave the podium and take your place in the center of the floor again. 

“- the trust you have in the people you work with can carry you through a great many things. And not all of you will see horror every day - but some of you will.” 

You pause for a moment, hoping this is the part that really sinks in for them. 

“Always have something to come home to. Always have something or someone that brings you peace, that can take you away from the work.” 

+++

You set your things down and walk through the door, immediately accosted by two almost-eight-year-olds and their over-eager little brother. 

“Momma!” 

You haul Elliot onto your hip and kiss Sophia’s head as Caroline burrows into your side. “Hi, darlings! Did you already have dinner?”

Sophia moves to answer, but Aaron’s voice shoots around the corner. “Yes!” 

With a smile, you seek him out, dragging the girls along with you. Lo and behold, Aaron’s at the sink, washing dishes. Isaac’s supervising - sitting on the counter, swinging his feet. 

Aaron gets a kiss on the cheek from you as you pass and he turns over his shoulder, chasing you until you peck him on the lips, Elliot squished between you. Your son squirms, and you set him on the ground to chase after his sisters. Isaac hops off the counter likely off to investigate the happenings before retreating to his room for the rest of the evening.

For once, you’re left alone. 

“How was your lecture?” 

Your arms free, you wrap around him and rest your full weight against his chest as he backs himself into the counter. “Went well. Missed you, though.” 

The corner of his mouth tips up. “Did they ask about Foyet?” 

“Mhmm. It was a good segue into trusting your team and building each other up, knowing when to step back, etcetera.” 

He nods. “Good way to bring it back around. How’s Kagan?” 

“She’s good, loving it, as always.” 

“Think she’s ever gonna retire?” He asks, tucking into your neck. 

You laugh as he presses kisses to the underside of your jaw. “Probably not.” 

Aaron leans back to look at you, bringing his hand to your face to brush over your cheekbone. “Are you ever gonna retire?” 

“Probably not.” 

“What if,” he says, his hands slipping into your back pockets, “you retired in…” He does the math in his head. “Thirteen-ish years and I make it worth your while.” 

“Oh yeah? Worth my while? And you’ll be, what, a hundred years old?” 

His eyes roll so hard you’re sure he could see his own brain. You pull him down for a kiss, but it doesn’t stop him from mumbling, “Give me a fuckin’ break,” against your mouth. 

“Never.” 

+++

tagging: @writefasttalkevenfaster @quillvine @stxrrywildflower @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @hotchsflower @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @mrs-marcus-moreno @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @jdougl-love @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @qvid-pro-qvo @mandylove1000 @jeor @wakatoshislover @word-scribbless @bwbatta @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @joanofarkansass @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @ssahotchnerr @this-broken-band-girl @winqhster @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @the-falling-in-the-danger @softbibxtch @iconicc @mangoberry43 @andreasworlsboring101 @kerrswriting @mac99martin @itsalwaysb33nyou @baumarvel @messyhairday-me @ssworldofsw @deagibs @crazyshannonigans @moonshinerbynight @jhiddles03 @teamhappyme @mendesmelodies @starsandasteroids @unicorn-bitch @ambicaos​ @itsmytimetoodream @pinkdiamond1016 

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

“Just keep breathing. In and out. You’re doing great.” 11 with lewthur but with caretaker Arthur again bc it’s my favorite okay

HELL YEAH (source)

(context: instead of dying in the cave, lewis was “saved” and taken hostage by the station people, who also found reverb trapped in the arm. and they wiped vivi’s memories. juuust to be thorough)

Arthur never really expected to find Lewis anywhere they went – not after the first few times, it was just setting himself up for disappointment – but if he'd thought about it, he would have said that he was hoping not to find him here.

Lewis hated doctors, hated anything medical, hated white walls and being trapped and this place was the worst possible place for him. Underground and freezing cold, devoid of any real signs of life, full of cold, clinical language.

But as soon as Arthur noticed the musical theme of the place, a sick feeling of anticipation started to settle in his stomach.

That only got worse when they eventually found a room with a working computer. Arthur instructed Vivi and Mystery to watch the doors, and then started to search through the files – it seemed to just have a database, along with some other tools he wasn’t confident enough to touch yet. Most of the listed subjects weren’t human, were some kind of spirit or magic creature – but there was one, listed as human subject, that made his heart drop.

Harmony. He knew that name, remembered Lewis as a tiny child and that name sewn into the back of his shirt but if anyone said it he’d panic or shut down–

He committed the room code to memory and took off, not even bothering to give the other two a we’re going! first. The tunnels turned into a blur as he raced through them, barely stopping to check the signs for which way to turn.

Then, finally, they made it to the right room, and he slammed the door open. There was an observation window splitting the room in half, and he looked through it and–

–oh. Oh, god.

It was unmistakably Lewis, even with his hair out of its usual style and hanging in limp, dirty coils over his face, slumped over in the corner and god he’d lost so much weight–

“Shit,” he faintly heard Vivi breathe behind him, “shit, is that a person-?”

He didn’t have time to answer her, he had to get in there – but the door to into the test chamber was locked, someone must have left it like that when this place was abandoned not too long ago. He was reaching for the set of picks he’d stashed in his vest when he picked up a faint noise from behind the glass and his head jerked up.

Something... dark and smoky – mist? Fog? – was seeping into the chamber. Slowly, it took on a shape that looked almost... human. Its head – if it could be called that yet – was already focused in on Lewis, who was still unresponsive.

There was no time to pick the lock, he could feel it. Instead he backed up and balled his prosthetic hand into a fist and rammed it into the wall as hard as he could, and the glass, as it is wont to do, shattered.

He forced his way through the newly-made hole, paying no attention to the shards around the edge, and scrambled a couple steps forward before that thing had its eyes on him. It was forming a face now, glowing and sick green in a way that felt too familiar, in a blurry half-remembered way.

“Well, look at this!” it crowed, swirling slightly upward. “You’re actually here! It’s like a little reunion.”

Then it was moving for him, and there was nothing he could do to fight something that wasn’t corporeal –

And then Vivi stepped in with her bat at the ready, and Mystery hopped in after her, and the thing visibly recoiled, looking between the two of them. Its eyes settled on the dog for a moment, and it hissed. “You.”

Arthur didn’t pay too much attention to them – he was already moving for Lewis, dropping to his knees in front of him and with the monster at his back. 

“Lewis?“ he said, keeping his voice soft. He must have heard him, because his head picked up–

–and then he lunged back with a small gasp, eyes going wide with fear. He only got a little ways before something stopped him with a loud clank – he was bound to the wall.

“Lewis, it’s okay-” Arthur reached out to him with one hand, trying to reassure him, and then snapped his attention to the chains. He kept up a steady stream of reassurances as he worked, “it’s okay, you’re safe now, you’re going to be okay, just hang on.”

By some incredible stroke of luck, for which he spent a moment silently thanking whatever-was-watching in his head, whoever was in charge of the security in this place had made the common-but-still-embarrassing mistake of buying from a company that sounded fancy but didn’t actually have any idea how to make a lock. He shimmed it open in barely a second and the entire thing fell apart.

He looked back to Lewis, who still seemed frozen – had he even recognized him yet? – and scooted a little closer, reaching out again. This time he didn’t flinch away, and Arthur was able to close the distance and put a hand on his cheek. It was tacky with dried tears or sweat – it was impossible to tell – and his eyes were almost sunken, surrounded by dark circles.

“Lewis, it’s me,” he tried again. “I’m here now.”

He drew a little closer and then Lewis practically fell into him, burying his face in his shoulder. His breathing was shaky, unsteady, and if he was trying to hug him he was too weak to even get his hands up to his shoulders. Arthur just held him for a moment, rubbing his back with one hand, trying not to pay attention to the outline of his ribs and spine.

“We need to move,” he said after a moment, remembering that Vivi and Mystery were still holding back that thing. “Can you walk?”

“...dunno,” was the hoarse, almost-whispered reply.

“Okay. Just lean on me, okay? I’ve got you.”

They stood up together, Lewis’s legs shaking and threatening to give out before Arthur caught him and supported him a little more. This time, Arthur remembered to call out to Vivi as they were headed for the exit, and he briefly saw her head jerk around before he looked back towards the hole they’d made in the glass. He briefly struggled to get Lewis over the hole without scraping his knees, he couldn’t lift his legs high enough – and then Vivi was on his other side and, without another question, lifting him up and dragging him along, and they all started to run.

They were almost to what looked like a fire exit, when Arthur heard that indistinct whispering that had preceded the spirit’s arrival earlier. He saw wisps on the edge of his vision and could only try to move faster. Vivi suddenly disappeared and Lewis dipped forward, slowing both of them down significantly. The spirit was forming again next to him, that same sick grin stretched across its face–

Vivi’s bat connected with the thing’s chest and it exploded in a shower of ice-blue light.

When the light cleared, there was a frozen impact of ice shards in its chest, and it was visibly reeling. Vivi stared at it for a second, and then turned and ran for the others again, and that was everyone’s cue to start moving.

Arthur shouldered the door open, and thankfully there were only a few stairs, and he could see the bright orange of their van through the trees.

“Vivi, you drive,” he said when they were getting close to it.

She stared at him for a moment, visibly bewildered by this request. “What? I can-”

“Please.” He couldn’t leave Lewis alone, and she didn’t know what was going on, didn’t know how to help.

Maybe she could see or hear his desperation, because she didn’t argue anymore, just nodded and headed for the driver’s seat.

“Where are we going?”

“Home.”

Arthur helped Lewis up the steep ledge of the van’s back doors, and then they both dropped to the ground, and it was silent for a moment as the van’s engine whirred to life and they started moving.

It didn’t take much longer for Lewis to start hyperventilating.

Arthur was there in an instant, pulling him to his chest again, and forcing his own breathing to be even and slow as he rubbed his back and murmured reassurances. “It’s okay. You’re safe. We’re gone, you’re never going back there. Just keep breathing. In and out. You’re doing great.”

It wasn’t long before he devolved into what might have been weak, hiccupy sobs, though he was too dehydrated for any actual tears. Arthur started carding one hand through his hair.

“You want some water?” he asked after a while. Lewis just nodded unsteadily against his shirt. 

Arthur pulled away a little and grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler. He helped Lewis drink, guiding the bottle with his hands.

After that, Lewis just stared at him for a while, and then reached out and put a hand over his.

“This... is you? You’re... real?”

His voice was still weak, but not quite as ragged as it had been before. Arthur picked up his hand and squeezed it.

“Yeah. I’m here. I promise.”

--

Lewis spent most of the next day pretty out of it, sleeping occasionally only to jolt awake at the slightest disturbance. Arthur barely left his side the entire time, except to grab water or something light to try to coax him to eat. He was always there to hold him and offer reassurances that yes, he was here, this was real, he was home and he wasn’t going to go anywhere.

At some point, pretty late in the night, Lewis was curled up against Arthur’s shoulder again, at the end of another bout of weak sobbing. He lifted his head only barely to speak.

“I still... smell like that place,” he murmured.

“You wanna take a shower?” Arthur answered, sitting up a little.

“Mm... too much work...” he laid his head back down again. “Don’t want you to leave...”

“I’ll help. C’mon.”

So Arthur pulled off the papery gown Lewis was still dressed in and helped him bathe, replacing the smell of sweat and disinfectant with the flowers and sweet vanilla of the bath soaps. He didn’t say anything about the large, messy, still-healing gashes in his side, just gently washed away the blood still left around the wound. He worked shampoo and conditioner through his hair, detangling the messy locks until they lay almost flat against his neck. The gentle rhythm lulled Lewis almost to sleep, swaying slightly as he sat in the bath, Arthur humming softly to him.

Once that was done, he helped him into clean pajamas, finally rid of every lingering trace of that fucking facility. Lewis’s own bed was dirty from him lying in it, so until the sheets could be changed, they both laid down in Arthur’s room instead.

They laid there in the darkness, the only sound a distant fan running in some other part of the house, and for a while, were just silent.

“...thank you,” Lewis said eventually, not opening his eyes.

“Of course,” Arthur responded immediately. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You came for me,” he continued. “I thought you were...”

Oh. He wasn’t just talking about the bath.

Arthur sat up a little, putting one hand on Lewis’s face and tilting it up toward his. “Hey. Look at me. I will always be there for you. No matter what. I’d look forever if I had to, okay? I would never leave you in a place like that.”

Lewis nodded slightly, and then went back to curling up against him.

“Thank you,” he said again, a barely-audible whisper.

[temilyrights]

resisting you was always impossible (temily)

Summary: Tara Lewis x Emily Prentiss. Emily and Tara are forced to spend the night in a motel when a storm hits. (oh no there’s only one bed).

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This is my first fic that doesn't include a reader and I'm proud. I was forced to write this because there just aren't enough Temily fics, and I'm completely obsessed with them (also would like to marry them both pls and ty<3) Please let me know what you think! I'm hoping to write for them more in the future :)

Read on AO3

Emily swore under her breath as she pushed her way into the motel room, her clothes and hair were absolutely drenched, and she was currently rethinking every single life decision that had led her to where she was now.

Stuck in a motel room.

with only one bed.

with the ONLY person that she’d been trying to avoid getting into any situation with that blurred the lines of professionalism.

“Oh, thank god, we’ve got towels.” Tara sighed in relief, grabbing the ratty towels from the cupboard as Emily shut the door.

She chucked one in Emily’s direction and used the other to squeeze the water from her hair as she made her way over to her go-bag she’d dropped onto the table.

She looked over her shoulder at Emily, who stood frozen, and frowned. “You okay, Prentiss?”

Emily cleared her throat and made to squeeze the water out of her own hair. “Yeah.”

Tara snorted and turned back to the bag. She rested the towel on her shoulder to free up her hands. She unzips the bag and rummages through for a moment before pulling out an old band t-shirt. She turns around and holds it up for Emily to inspect.  “This okay? It’s about all I’ve got.”

“Pardon?” Emily frowned.

“You need something to change into unless you plan on catching hypothermia and considering you didn’t have your go-bag in the SUV, you’re stuck with my clothes.”

Emily struggles to breathe. “Right.” She nods, “Uh, yeah. That’s fine.”

She steps forwards and takes the shirt from Tara. “Thanks, I’m gonna...” She points in the direction of the bathroom and without waiting for a response quickly disappears.

Once the door is shut behind her Emily proceeds to quietly freak the fuck out.

Of course, it was her luck that a storm would hit on their drive back from interviewing a perp at Arizona state prison (who they suspected of being connected to their current case). The rain was so bad Emily could hardly see the road and Tara had suggested stopping for the night and picking back up in the morning when the rain would have hopefully calmed.

Which was a smart idea, but Emily had protested up until the point the car slid and nearly drove off the side of the road.

With anyone else, this situation would be annoying but fine.

But Emily’s heart fluttered stupidly around Tara and she’d taken to telling herself multiple times a day that she was Tara’s boss and that nothing could happen.

It wasn’t helping.

“Suck it up, Prentiss.” She told herself. She’d taken down serial killers; she could handle an inconvenient crush.

Emily stripped out of her clothes, leaving only her underwear on, which thankfully hadn’t been soaked through because honestly, Emily didn’t know how she would have coped if she had had to ask Tara for some. She hung the clothes over the side of the bath to dry and slipped on Tara’s T-shirt.

It was an old Rolling Stones one, and despite her and Tara’s height difference, it barely covered her ass.

“Perfect.” She muttered, and with one last look in the shitty motel mirror, Emily opened the door and stepped back into the bedroom.

And then proceeded to nearly have a stroke.

Because Emily was painfully aware of how attractive Tara was, but she was totally not prepared to see her very long, very beautiful legs. She was wearing a vest top along with short sleep shorts, and it was just a lot of beautiful skin.

“You okay, Prentiss?” Tara asked for the second time that night, with a smirk that Emily desperately wanted to kiss off her face.

“Yeah, I, uh,” Emily scrambled for something to say, “I tried phoning Rossi to let him know what happened but there’s no cell reception.”

“I’m sure they’ll figure it out. We can leave early tomorrow so we can be back at the station for nine.” Tara said as she leant down to grab something from where it rested on the bed.

Emily managed to avert her eyes from Tara’s legs just before the women straightened up and met her gaze. She held out a chocolate bar. “Want this?”

“You have food? You’re a godsend.” Emily praised, happily accepting the bar and chucking her phone onto the bed in the process. They’d been planning on grabbing dinner when they’d gotten back to the hotel, which obviously hadn’t happened. There was no way they were going to be able to order food in this weather and Emily hadn’t eaten since lunchtime.

“Of course, you don’t keep snacks in your go-bag?” Tara’s brows raised in disbelief.

“No, but I will be from now on because that’s genius.”

Tara chuckled. “It’s not a lot. Just that chocolate bar, some trail mix, and a few nutrition bars, but they’re great for emergencies.” Tara’s lips spread into a smirk, her eyes dancing. “And apparently warding off hangry Prentiss’”

Emily scoffed. “I don’t get hangry.”

“Oh, yes you do.” Tara cackled, taking a step closer to her.

“No, I don’t!”

“Sorry, but you do.”

“I do not! Take it back!” Emily ordered, stepping forward to jab a finger at Tara.

“It’s okay Prentiss, a lot of people do.” Tara’s voice lowered, that irritating smirk still painting her lips.

“Yeah, well I’m not a lot of people!” Emily rebutted and knew her face was heating up from her proximity to Tara.

Their breath was practically mingling, and Emily desperately needed to step away. To end whatever this was.

“Oh, I’m very much aware,” Tara said in a way that couldn’t be misconstrued as anything other than flirting. Her eyes dropped to Emily’s lips as her fingers brushed her chin, angling Emily’s head upwards, bringing her mouth dangerously close to hers.

Emily couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but stare deeply into Tara’s eyes. They twinkled but there was a softness behind them, her grip was gentle on Emily’s chin giving her plenty of chance to pull away, but Emily couldn’t remember any of the reasons she should.

So, instead, she nudged her head forward and met Tara’s lips.

And Tara kissed just like she did everything else, with precision, care, and passion. Emily’s hands threaded through Tara’s hair as Tara’s hands ran down her back.

The first sweep of Tara’s tongue had Emily whimpering. Even if she was thinking clearly, she wouldn’t have been able to name a single person who’d even turned her into putty this quickly.

Emily kissed back with everything she had, fighting Tara’s tongue for dominance as they stumbled back towards the bed.

They both breathed heavily as they separated, Tara sat down on the bed and tugged Emily into her lap. Her hands ran down Emily’s side, settling on her hips. Tara stared at her with soft eyes and swollen lips and Emily thought she was the most beautiful thing in the whole world.

But as she stared at Tara her mind began to clear and the full reality of what Emily had just done hit her like a ton of bricks.

“Oh god.”  Emily gasped, eyes widening in horror. “Shit. No. Fuck. Oh god.” She scrambled out of Tara’s lap and off the bed, moving to the other side of the room to put as much space between them as possible.

“We can’t- I shouldn’t have- I-” Emily blew out a breath as she struggled to find what to say. Tara just stared at her confusion and hurt shining in her eyes.

“I’m your boss.” Emily settled on, looking at Tara with desperate eyes. “We can’t do that. We can’t be...” It hurt more than it should have. She could feel her heart cracking.

Tara stood up and approached Emily. “It’ll be okay. There are plenty of agents that have dated while being on the same team.”

Emily shook her head, “I’m your boss. It’s different. There are rules in place for a reason-”

Tara scoffed, “Yeah because of Rossi.” She tried to reach for Emily’s hand, but Emily just swatted her away. “Really, Em?” Her eyes flashed with hurt. “Look, I understand it’s not an ideal situation but are you telling me that you’re just going to be able to forget about what just happened?”

“It doesn’t matter. We’re both professionals. We don’t need to make a big deal out of this.” Emily said mostly to herself. Trying to convince herself that she hadn’t just fucked things up.

“Right. Fine.” Tara muttered, not able to hide the way it hurt. She shook her head and made to step away, but Emily’s hand flew out to stop her.

“Wait.” She waited until Tara met her eyes before releasing her wrist. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt or upset you. I shouldn’t have let myself get sucked in. I should have stepped away instead of kissing you.”

Emily wanted to make this better, to get that sad look off of Tara’s face.

Tara sighed, “It’s fine, Emily. Let’s just eat and then go to bed. It’s late and I’m tired.”

It was barely 8 o’clock but Emily didn’t want to argue so instead she nodded her head.

The tension when they ate made Emily want to scream. They spoke strictly about the team, keeping the conversation light, and steadily avoiding brushing hands as they shared the bag of trail mix. It was more exhausting than the whole of Emily’s week combined.

By the time she crawled into bed, Emily was ready to hide under the covers and not come out for at least a week. She hated to think of what the next girls’ night would be like...

Tara turned the lights off, plunging the room into darkness before sliding into the bed. “Night.” She murmured.

“Goodnight.”

Emily rolled onto her side, facing away from the other women and tried to fall asleep.

The silence lasted for barely fifteen minutes before Tara sat back up, turned the lamp on and said, “You know what, It’s not fine.”

Emily rolled back over and sat up, wincing at the frustration in Tara’s face.

“You feel something too, right? This wasn’t just about sex. There’s something between us and I don’t want to ignore it just because of some bullshit fraternisation rules that only exist because Rossi is incapable of keeping it in his pants.”

“There are rules for a reason. What if something was to happen in the field, I wouldn’t be able to be objective. If I had to discipline you for a reason it would fuck with our relationship, and plus it would mess with your career if people knew you were sleeping with the boss.” Emily closed her eyes, blowing out a breath before looking at Tara with a pained smile. “I feel it too, okay? I-”

“Then stop fighting it,” Tara ordered. “I don’t care about any of that. We’ll make it work because I really like you Emily and I’m so tired of pretending I don’t.”

Emily’s body melted. Tara reached out and caressed her cheek causing Emily’s eyes to flutter close as she leaned into the contact.

“Let’s just give us a chance,” Tara whispered.

Emily opened her eyes, looking at Tara with adoration and love...because that’s what it was. It wasn’t an inconvenient crush or simple infatuation; Emily had fallen in love with Tara and there was no way of fighting that without breaking her own heart and possibly Tara’s in the process.

Emily steeled herself with a deep breath. “Okay.”

Tara’s eyes lit up in delight and Emily found the sight adorable.

“But we have to stay professional at work.”

“Yes, boss.” Tara teased before leaning in and meeting Emily in a soft kiss.

Emily hummed against her lips, “You’re gonna be the end of me, Tara Lewis.”

Tara chuckled, “Not if I can help it.”

She leaned back in and met Emily’s lips. After a few minutes, Emily groaned causing Tara to pull away with an amused look. “What?”

“I’m just imagining the teasing I’m going to receive from Rossi and JJ when they find out.”

“Well, let’s not think about that now.” She kissed Emily again.

“Yeah, you got a better idea?” Emily hummed in between kisses.

“I’ve got a few.”

Emily slid her hand up to Tara’s neck, dragging her in close and kissing the smirk off her face. Tara mewed and Emily just kissed her deeper, dragging her body down to hers and letting the rest of the world fade away as she focused solely on the beautiful woman on top of her.

taglist: @xrainydazeteax

[pochiperpe90]

Points of view – The Interview: Luca Marinelli

How do you approach your characters. 

Sometimes I also wonder how I get to the character. For “Non essere cattivo”, I had a very detailed script and a fascinating director at my disposal, so I didn't struggle to relate. It was a very brave script for the way it dealt with reality. At first my auditions went in the direction of Vittorio's character but also knowing the figure of Cesare, more than once I thought I would like to play him. I saw the auditions of others and I stopped to think how I could have done Cesare. Then at a certain point I remember that Claudio looked at Valerio and told him that it would be better to reverse the roles, to let me try Cesare, and so it went. When I read the script of “Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot”, the first thing that struck me, besides the courageous imagination, was to understand how a film of this kind could be made. 

In the first part of your career, you brought an image of introverted and staid youth to the screen. Was this a choice. 

Absolutely not. Or rather yes, it was the choice of those who met me first. Perhaps a part of my personality has been seen that could best marry the characters in question. It happened both in “La solitudine dei numeri primi” by Saverio Costanzo and later with Virzì in "Tutti i santi giorni", then it can be said that with Casare of “Non essere cattivo” and the Zingaro of “Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot” I was allowed to turn things around slightly, to play a character who had a disposition and behavior that was completely the opposite of what I had faced previously. 

What do you remember about your debut with Saverio Costanzo. 

He was my initiation into cinema, I came from the Academy and I had no idea what it was like to work on a set. The best memory, in addition to the experience of the film with him and Alba, is the first meeting, the first audition, where I really understood that I strongly wanted to work with him and that if this had happened I would have ended up in the hands of a great author. 

With that film you found yourself in the main competition of the Venice Film Festival. What memories do you have of that first time at the lido. 

Of a huge confusion and a big headache. We were tossed around from one interview to another and not only that, because the worst thing was always answering the same questions, and I was terribly worried not to make the situation even more boring for the machine operator, who never changed, and I don't think could take it longer to hear the same phrases over and over. Fortunately, Alba was there as well and saved me in more than one interview. The experience helped me because the following times I knew slightly more what I was going through and how to manage situations and keep stress at bay. Or maybe not yet, it's a long way. 

I noticed that when you talk about your job you do it using the verb “to play” (giocare). Is it a coincidence or the choice has a precise meaning. 

Perhaps it’s not a coincidence that in English the term recite is said precisely in this way because in my opinion to play, or the French jouez, represents the feeling of freedom and fun that is inherent in the job I do, better. As far as I'm concerned, the moment of the take is when the actor has to stop thinking, abandon worries, to be able to bring out the energy of his character. He has to play with the same seriousness and commitment with which a child does. I remember a piece of advice from Carlo Cecchi on the fact that in acting counts listening and the here and now. Being actively present to oneself and to others at that exact moment.

You have a method for achieving this condition. 

If someone asked me something about technique, I wouldn't know what to answer, apart from listening. On the set of Andrea Molaioli's film in which I am the father of the young protagonist, the actor who plays him, Ludovico, who is really good, full of talent and very smart, once asked me what was the technique to make the best of the character, and the only thing I felt able to advise him was to try to be present in that moment and then to let go, listen and not think about the rest. 

But I imagine that there are also practical aspects in the preparation that precedes the start of filming. 

As for me, I try to prepare as much as I can before arriving on set because at the start of the shoot it would be good to be ready. But not everything happens automatically, in the sense that you can’t always find the character immediately. However, I have always been lucky enough to have more or less long periods of rehearsal before starting a film. I remember this moment with Saverio and Alba, where we spent weeks among us and also with the kids who would have played us as children, to try the various scenes and to create a union and harmony between the characters. The same happened with Paolo Virzì, Thony and I, more than once we gather, facing the script, to clarify all the passages and moments of the scenes. 

And how did things go with Claudio Caligari. 

The same thing also happened with Claudio even though the illness made everything more complicated for him. He asked us to change our bodies, to participate in the auditions of the other actors. This allowed all of us, the cast, to integrate and develop a unity of purpose and a truly rare familiarity. So in front of the camera it seemed to me that the gang, to which Cesare and Vittorio belonged, was really part of my life, that it wasn’t hard to pass from Luca to Cesare, because I had found him. And always to identify with the environment of the story, I preferred a house in Ostia, and Alessandro often came to me from Rome to spend time between the two of us. Claudio, in addition to having reading meetings together, also showed us films that were a source of inspiration for him for this film, such as “Accattone” by Pier Paolo Pasolini, “Rocco e i suoi fratelli” by Luchino Visconti and “Mean Sreet” by Martin Scorsese.

Instead, I wanted to ask you what happens between takes, for example when you come home after a day of work. You stay inside the character as it happens to Daniel Day Lewis, or you put it aside and think of something else like Marcello Mastroianni did. 

I try to disconnect from the set. I try. I go home and try to do something else, but the last thought before falling asleep always goes to the next day's work plan and I leave myself a few minutes for the memory and concentration useful for tomorrow and then I close my eyes.  

We asked Roberta Mattei and we ask you too. During the processing you were aware of the exceptional nature of what you were doing. 

Yes. Let me explain: I saw with my own eyes that what was happening was exceptional, a man who was dying wanted to give his latest work to the public, to his audience, to his people, to people. This has no equal for me. Don't think about yourself in such a situation but about others.

Then it was the turn of Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot. 

I shot Jeeg Robot in March 2014, and therefore before “Non essere cattivo”. The fact that Mainetti's film is only coming out now is due to the long post-production period necessary to assemble the shot with the special effects present in the film. 

Here as well it was an interpretation and a character who completely overturns the transparent and pristine image of the first part of your career. 

To make Jeeg Robot we had to convince each other, Gabriele Mainetti and I, about my success in the character. I pushed him towards a theatricality and Gabriele towards a real madness, a pure pain. In the end, I think we have found the right amount. 

The construction of the Zingaro was already very clear in the writing and it was up to us, however, to find its true aspect. 

Guiding him is this crazy and boundless ego, and the obsession with having to leave a mark. The Zingaro's eccentricity is partly reflected in his look, halfway between a rock star and a suburban bully. For the costumes and make-up we were inspired by the great rock icons. We dared in some choices, such as the black coat with pink leopard lining that characterize the wardrobe. For the aspects related to the way of performing, his model was Anna Oxa and in particular the video of her at Sanremo, when she sings “Un’emozione da poco”. 

In part you have already answered, but I wanted to know how you choose to accept the proposals that are made to you and if you have any foreclosures towards television, or more generally towards commercial cinema. 

I choose the proposals on the basis of love at first sight that must happen with the film, with its screenplay. Then figure out who will be leading the film, meet the director. I don't have any kind of foreclosure, let's say that if I don't like something I don't do it and if I like it I do. And it doesn't matter if it's cinema or television. 

As a spectator what is the cinema you love. 

I like films that have something to say and that I also choose based on who directed and starred in it. Usually when they ask me to name some titles I have a void. Think that the same thing happened to me also during the audition to enter the experimental center, when Lina Wertmuller asked me the title of a film I had seen recently. I was struck by a cosmic void and instead of naming her an authoritative and important film I left her stunned by citing Batman, I think Nolan's first, still a good film, but I still had Wertmuller in front of me... But to go back to what you asked me, I tell you that in general I always like to watch films that come from Sundance, of which I remember, for example “Like Crazy”, which I found disarmingly beautiful, the films of P.T. Anderson, Wes Anderson, the Cohen, there are many, and among the Italians those played by Alba Rohrwacher, Valerio Mastandrea, Elio Germano, Kim Rossi Stuart and directed by Alice Rohrwacher, Costanzo, Virzì, Sorrentino, Garrone, Salvatores. Without forgetting those of the great Joaquin Phoenix. But in reality I look at everything, let's say that I try not to lose anything of these. 

Despite the certificates of esteem you have received for your performances, the impression is that of an understatement that almost seems not to be aware of what you have achieved so far as an actor. 

Whenever I see a film of mine I always think there is something I could have done better. But basically I'm happy with what I've done so far. Having said that, I think that the films alone should be enough to explain everything and that the interviews don’t add anything new to what there was to say before making them. But when I am in the dance, when I need to promote, I am committed to doing it in the best possible way. I strongly think that in life and at work it’s important to demonstrate that you know how to do and not to show at all costs that you do.

DREAMINGCINEMA

Just wanted to translate this old interview for the non-italian’s fans ^^ (sorry for my English)

[anotherbeingsworld]

the promise of happiness

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Alessia Lyxienne)

Book: Open Heart

Rating: G , TW: mentions of surgery.

Prompts by @choicesjunechallenge2021 Day 1 – plot twist

Summary: Alessia's ex is in town, and its quite a reunion. <3

A/N: hiii, so I decided to participate in the challenge and well, write lots of Bryce before we have to say goodbye to him soon. So, this is kinda (hopefully) become a writing spree for me - like a Bryce appreciation-ish of my own. I have some plans already - and, I can't wait to share them! Also, a huge shoutout to @appiomofchoice for a lot of her help on this fic and the upcoming ones! Enjoy! (also, I will start to use a new mc name! however, she is who casey is but, with a new name instead hehe) // i dont own any characters except mc and brian lewis. (and, i apologize for grammar errors and any errors in this story)

-

It was supposed to be a normal day, however, the gasped that escaped her signals that the day is going to be an adventure. As she stood beside Bryce, both of them were facing a familiar face who she knows all too well. Brian Lewis, the Brian Lewis. The knowing smirk on his face as his gaze falls onto her brings back all the memories during her time at med school before.

He was a senior, a few years older than her. As they started to get to know one another through a mentoring session with Dr. Lisbon in her anatomy class. They started to go out in a matter of months, as their study sessions become quite intimate in the past – before, breaking up as Brian left for an opportunity to continue his residency in London. They were on good terms, and seeing him again in front of her brought back old memories.

“Dr. Lyxienne, are we clear?” The sound of Harper’s voice pulled her out of a trance, as she was pulled back into reality.

“I’m sorry, would you repeat that once more?”

Harper nods, before introducing him to her – as Bryce raised an eyebrow at the man.

“This is Dr. Brian Lewis from John Hopkins – and, he will assist us in one of the diagnostics team cases.” Brian takes his hand out towards her as Bryce took it before Alessia could do anything.

“Nice to meet you, Dr. Lewis, I’m Dr. Bryce Lahela and this is…”

“The Dr. Lyxienne of course! How have you been Alessia?” He said with a huge smile on his face, as Alessia froze, not knowing or mentally preparing herself where her boyfriend met his ex.

“I’m doing fine, thank you, Dr. Lewis.” The formality makes him take a step back as the atmosphere around them becomes awkward.

“Well, Dr. Lewis – we will see you at the diagnostics office soon. It’s nice to meet you.” Harper shook his arm again, with a smile before leaving the room.

The three of them stood awkwardly, before Alessia’s pagers started to beep – as she quickly runs away from the scene any further.

The two men stood quietly before Bryce left the room as well – leaving a sighing Brian in the office.

-

Bryce’s pager started to vibrate, as he was called into the diagnostics office as he finished with an appendectomy. With a satisfied smile on his face, he was met with a full office – consists of Dr. Emery, Dr. Ramsey, Alessia, Dr. Carrick, and Brian who are discussing their new case.

“Bryce, welcome. Dr. Lewis, this is one of our top surgeons in our department– Dr. Bryce Lahela.” Harper stated before Bryce taking a seat beside Alessia who looks nervous upon the encounter.

“It's good to see you again Dr. Lahela.” His voice was rough with a hint of softness in it.

Bryce nods before he was passed with a copy of the case itself.

“Based on the check-up we did, we found that the patient has suffered from spinal osteomyelitis. It is known as an infection of the vertebrae – it is a rare case, however still dangerous overall.” His presence is commanding as the others listen to it intently.

“How dangerous is it?” Alessia’s voice can be heard as all eyes fall on her.

Brian smiles, as he explains.

“Infections on the spine can be extremely dangerous along with the surgery on that are can be risky with the probability that may lead to a case of paralysis or even more infection.”

She nods intently, as the room went quiet once more.

“When will the surgery be performed? I’m guessing the sooner, the better right?” Tobias adds along with the conversation.

“I suspect we kept her in for a couple of days, to make some additional check-ups. But, if a timeline was needed – definitely as soon as we could.” He concludes before taking a seat.

After a while of discussion – the team was dispersed.

“Dr. Emery, I have to ask why was I picked by Dr. Lewis for the surgery?”

“Dr. Tanaka recommended your name and he wanted to take you in this round. I have to go now for a meeting, but – if you have any questions, Dr. Lewis can answer it for you about the surgery.” He nods as Harper was out of his sight.

-

Alessia sits on her own, as the dish in front of her remains uneaten due to the textbooks on the table. She was quite occupied with the text in front of her without realizing she had some company awaits her.

Her gaze falls onto the familiar gray eyes looking at her – with the familiar smile since before. Brian was sitting opposite her.

“Yes, Dr. Lewis, what do you need?”

“It’s me Alessia, can we talk – why are you avoiding me?” His voice somewhat remains strong, as Alessia tries to avoid the question.

“I…don’t know. It's weird seeing you again after all these years.” She begins her argument, as Brian nods in understanding.

“I can quite say the same, you look as beautiful as years ago.” He compliments her, as she smiles and lets out a chuckle.

“Thank you. I gotta say – you look as good as you did years ago. But, why Edenbrook, what are you doing here even?” Alessia shuts the textbook, as she looked him in the eyes.

“Dr. Emery was a colleague of mine before, and she requested me to come by for the surgery. I didn’t expect you’d be here.” His gaze falls down upon his hands.

She nods, not knowing how to reply as the silence follows for a moment.

“I know it's an unexpected encounter. It might be weird seeing your ex after all these years, but…I am glad that I got to see you again Alessia.” He says with a smile on his face, the genuine expression she knew all too well from years ago.

Before she could reply, she saw Bryce making his way to her. She smiles at him, as Brian follows her gaze meeting his eyes. He waved at him, before glancing his way back to her. The wide smile on her face still presents on her face, as Bryce took a seat beside them.

“Dr. Lewis, Alessia.” He greeted them both, as Brian's gaze fall onto them both. How comfortable they looked together before he excuses himself from the table.

“I’ll see you in surgery Dr. Lahela, and Alessia.” He smiles before leaving the cafeteria.

-

Bryce’s gaze follows his trail until he left the cafeteria.

“So, I think I have been out of the loop as your boyfriend – but, who is he?” His eyebrows were raised at Brian’s empty seat.

She lets out a small chuckle,

“He is…my -ex in med school actually.” She lets the truth set free, as Bryce looks at her in awe actually.

“Well, you certainly had upgraded.” He jokes as a wink followed before she elbows him playfully.

“Very funny Bryce.” She says before opening her textbook again.

She feels his eyes on him, as she glances his way. He somehow looked nervous suddenly.

“How do you feel when you see him again?”

She thought about it,

“It feels like nostalgic, yet – the story between us has ended years ago. You don’t have to worry alright.” She winks at him, as Bryce lets out a mock laugh – as a response.

“I’m not worried! Never, nope.”

“Whatever you say, Bryce.” She said before leaning in for a kiss, as they continue to spend the remaining time together studying about the upcoming surgery.

-

It was days later, as Bryce preps for the surgery alongside Brian. The OR was quiet, as they were the only ones there. A few seconds later, the surgical assistant arrives alongside the on-lookers consists of other surgeons.

He took a deep breath before they began the procedure, the gallery above them was filled with doctors – as Bryce could recognize a few to name. Dr. Emery and Dr. Tanaka are whispering subtlely, Dr. Ramsey alongside Dr. Carrick and even Dr. Banerji are there. As his gaze moved towards the left, he was shocked to see Alessia sitting by the end of the gallery – as she waves his way. He smiles, before resuming his role alongside Brian.

The clock was ticking slowly, as he observes Brian’s work and was impressed by his handiwork. They switched tasks in between the surgery – and he felt alive at that moment.

“Dr. Lahela, pass me the lancet.” Bryce nods as one of the nurses passes it his way.

Brian was focused on his work before he blurted a question in the middle of the surgery itself.

“So, you are the boyfriend I assume.” His voice is low as Bryce look at him with wide eyes.

He nods, as Brian continues on the surgery with such ease in his work.

“How long have you been together?”

“We just made it official, but…almost three years.” He says proudly behind his surgical mask.

There was a pause in between before he says.

“Years ago, I knew that smile on her face – along with the look in her eyes, she really does loves you. And, when Alessia loves someone - she will go over mountains for you.” He said suddenly – as it felt like a promise for him.

Bryce nods and smiles to himself, remembering the moments they had gone through together.

“I know.” I will, an unspoken promise was said between the quiet atmosphere of the OR. As, a smile was visible on Brian's face - somehow he got the message.

As the procedure goes on, a couple of hours had passed – they survived the procedure after a couple roadblocks along the way. The patient has the last resort on the surgery – Bryce took the lead to amputate the affected limb to stop the infection from spreading further. And, at that note – the surgery was over.

They cleaned up from their dirty scrubs as the night has grown late for them both.

“Dr. Lahela – you did an exceptional job today.”

He smiles, feeling the glowing pride in himself.

“Thank you for giving me the chance to join in the surgery, Dr. Lewis.” He replies as Brian nods before they both started to go on separate ways.

-

It’s the day after the surgery, as Alessia stumbles upon Brian who is hugging Dr. Emery – somewhat as a gesture of farewell. As they went their separate ways, his eyes met with hers – a smile on his face.

“Hey.” He begins to conversation.

“Hi, leaving already?”

“Yeah, unfortunately, I have an emergency meeting with the head of surgery at John Hopkins in a few hours.” He explains as she nods in understanding.

“Well, it's good to see you again which is… very weird to say.” She lets out a laugh as Brian lets out a chuckle.

“It's good to see you too. It's been years, and I’m glad to see you thriving here Alessia.” He smiles as they hugged.

“Thanks to your pop-quizzes on anatomy that's what keeping me here.” She winks at the joke, as they let go of the hug.

“Well, I’m glad I could play a part in the memoir of Dr. Alessia Lyxienne then.”

She nods, as he checks on the time.

“I have to leave before the traffic gets insane – but, say ‘hi’ to Bryce for me? And, if he ever hurts you – just know I’ll be ready to kick his ass for you.”

“No need, I think he’ll make me happy.” She said wistfully, as Brian smiles even wider.

“Don’t forget to invite me to the wedding then.” He winks before leaving the hospital grounds.

He stopped in his tracks, as he gazes back at where he was before. Bryce and Alessia were seen happily smiling together, he smiles – feeling happy for them both.

-

At that moment, Bryce’s eyes met with his as he waves to him. Brian waves back, as in a second – he was gone out of their sight.

“He said ‘hi’ by the way.”

Bryce nods, as he remembers the words during the surgery – it felt like a promise for him to make her happy. He smiles, as he will keep that promise and make Alessia the happiest woman in the world with him.

THE END.

tags: @bitchloveskcbaseball , @mvalentine , @storyofmychoices , @princess-geek , @lahellacute , @annekebbphotography , @mrsbhandari, @dcbbw , @choicessa , @fantasyoverreality98 , @baltersome , @ofpixelsandscribbles , @thundergom , @starrystarrytrouble , @kelseaaa , @choicesficwriterscreations , @lalizah , @drethanramslay , @eleanorbloom , @openheartfanfics , @brycesgirl , @freckles-spangledvampire , @agentnolastname , @robintora , @adriansbiss , @appiomofchoice , @ariondevereux , @natureblooms24

[slither-in-gryffindor]

Mystery Lover

Square Fill: Free Square

Warning/s: None

Word Count: 1,790

Summary: Darcy Lewis posted videos that the world cooed over, Natasha Romanoff being in love.

A/N: This fic was made cause I couldn't get the song out of my head 😂 and I also had an excuse to write a socmed au. It started out as a karaoke prompt and it just went from there 💁🏻‍♀️

Ao3

The team didn’t really plan anything that night. Everyone was in the common room lounging while the world is peaceful. Tony and Bruce was puzzling over an equation in a hologram. Thor, Steve, and Sam were exchanging stories at the couch. Clint and Natasha were rapidly exchanging knives while sitting at opposite ends of the room. And Pepper and Maria were signing documents at the coffee table.

“I am now here and the party has started! Up up up people, we’re going out!” Darcy’s voice echoed cheerfully as she sashayed into the room.

The brunette moved towards Maria, “Tall, dark, and handsome Director Hill. I would like to propose an outing that we all clearly need. It’s a Friday and we’re boring!”

“That’s your argument?” Maria asks amused.

“Well, I already have a bar in mind. It’s good but kind of hidden too and I already talked to the owner so we’re going to be the only one there. I also agreed that they could have pictures with you guys, but only if they post it after we leave.”

Maria chuckles. “You really thought this through. Okay.”

“I know it’s - wait okay? I just made you agree with me this is the best day of my life.” Darcy clutched at her chest and faked swooning. Jane just shook her head fondly at her friend’s antics.

The three women fondly watched Darcy as she puttered around and started gathering the others. “We’re going karaoke! Avengers Assemble!”

_____________________________________________________________________________________

It hasn't even been an hour, but the video was already viral. Hours after the Avengers left the bar, Darcy posted a video of them singing karaoke. Naturally, anything related to the Avengers goes viral, but the difference is that this is the first time the Black Widow made her appearance. And what an entrance she did.

The people had always been curious about the mysterious Avenger. They know who she is, and sees her attend events like the others, but pictures and interactions are scarce. So when they saw a video of her singing, and a love song at that, it blew up. Gossip blogs already have their choice of romantic interest, and even news feeds deemed her performance as news worthy.

The video started with a panoramic shot of the bar, and a rowdy applause came from the boys when a redhead swaggered to the stage. Natasha Romanoff looked at someone behind the camera and roguishly winked.

Whoops were heard when the familiar fast-paced notes sounded in the air. Her grip on the mic was confident and she let her body playfully move.

She bobbed her head. Eyes closed and feeling playful.

Making my way downtown Walking fast paces pass And I’m homebound 

The redhead’s mischievous gaze suddenly focused behind the camera.

Staring blankly ahead Just makin’ my way     I’m makin’ a way through the crowd    

And I need you. Natasha stretched her right arm forward.

And I miss you. She blew a kiss.

And now I wonder. The camera caught a hand darting forward and catching it. Just as Natasha smiled widely.

Darcy could be heard whispering an amazed, “oh my Thor they’re so cute!” and she swiveled the camera to take the others' reactions. Similar state of happiness and delight were seen as they cheer for their normally reserved friends.

An utterly soft smile was on Natasha’s face and everyone was just pushing and cheering because it’s the first time they saw that smile. Normally the couple would refrain from public displays of affection but they weren’t complaining. It was cute how the couple acts.

If I could fall into the sky Do you think time would pass me by Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles If I could just see you… tonight.

The last line ended and everyone was still reeling, but the thundering hoots and applause followed immediately. Natasha bowed and smirked before strutting off the stage. The video cut, but not before catching the redhead smiling warmly at someone that the camera unfortunately didn't catch.

‘Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles If I could just see you… tonight.

@darcygodtaser: If you’re as romantic as @n_romanoff, you can date me. But I think I’ll be waiting for a long time.

@muff_in: @n_romanoff oh my goddd what the fuck, I never thought someone's voice could make me melt into a puddle.

@bwcanrailme: can we talk about how @n_romanoff was totally singing for someone??? Can we have a hint who she's singing for @darcygodtaser

@redavengerlover: badass, avenger, and singer. Is there something @n_romanoff can't do?

@arrowbird: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff can't walk into corridors without bumping into walls when they smile at her.

@ironman3000: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff can't lift weights without dropping it on her foot because she saw them doing pull ups without a shirt.

@stevieamerica: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff can't walk properly on heels because she saw them in a tailored suit and tie.

@drgreen: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff can't stop smiling whenever she gets a good luck text from them

@thornir: @redavengerlover @n_romanoff THE LADY SPIDER SAW THEM IN ASGARDIAN ARMOR AND CANNOT SPEAK FOR 5 MINUTES

@itsbitsypuppy: I love how the avengers just exposed @n_romanoff that she's just like the rest of us mortals and gay panics too

@n_romanoff: Well I don't.

  _____________________________________________________________________________________                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                Another video was posted by Darcy and this one was even more viral than the previous one. And this time, everyone had absolutely gone wild. The speculations to whom the illustrious Black Widow was dating had finally been put to rest.

The revelation had sent everyone reeling. News feeds reported the event, and social media sites crashed due to the high amount of online traffic.

The video started with a beautiful view of a flower field. Purple, yellow, red, blue, you name it— there were 30 varieties of blooming tulips that filled the area. Behind the multitude of colors in the field is the extraordinarily green pine trees, and even farther is the snow-capped mountain — Mount Cheam.

An impressed whistle pierced the silent showcasing, and the camera flipped to show Darcy wearing a gray overcoat paired with a blue scarf.

“Beautiful right? But that’s not actually what we’re here for. We’re in Canada!”

“I don’t know where exactly but we were invited by our favorite blue-eyed commander because —” Darcy trailed off, lips pursing as she tried to remember.

Looking around, the brunette walked over to Steve, “Steve! Why are we here again? I can’t remember why.”

He scratched his head, “Pepper didn’t really give a reason. She just told us that Maria wanted us here.”

A voice off-camera caught their attention and Darcy looked straight at the lens, “Alright guys, that’s Pepper calling us.”

The team shuffled and stood at a distance, watching as Clint lead a blindfolded Natasha to the center of the field. He joined the rest and just sushed them when they saw Maria walking towards Natasha.

Excited murmurs came from the other Avengers.

“I think this is it.”

“You mean?”

“I think so.”

“Will we hear them?”

“Yeah, we set up a drone don’t worry about it. ”

A tall lean woman came into view and tapped Natasha on the shoulder, “Hey sweetheart, you can remove the blindfold now.”

Natasha looked around and the woman caught her hand to turn the redhead towards her, “Maria, our anniversary isn’t for a few months yet.”

Maria chuckled, and exhaled shakily, “I know. But that’s not why I’m doing this.”

She entwined the redhead’s hand in hers, “Nat. The first time we went here, we were just dating for a few months but I already knew we would last. Because when I look at you, I see a future with you by my side.”

Taking a deep breath, she put their entwined hands on her chest. Letting Natasha feel how fast her heart was beating. From the equally breathless look on the redhead's face, it looked like she already has an idea where this is going.

“Years have passed but it only cemented the fact that I want that future. So I’m standing here, in a field full of tulips because I’m deeply in love with you, Nat. And if you would let me, I’d like to love you for the rest of my life.”

“So…” Maria took out a jewelry box and got down on one knee, “Natasha Romanoff, will you marry me?”

Natasha was speechless. Staring wide-eyed at the kneeling woman.

Everybody held their breath, clutching each other in anticipation. Darcy was holding on to the phone so tight it shook.

An amazed, “Yes.”

“Yes?” Delight coated Maria’s voice.

Natasha let out a teary laugh, “Yes! Of course Masha!”

The video was no longer focused because Darcy jumped and hugged the others. Excited squeals and cheers erupted. Maria raised her hand to call them over. They ran towards the couple, hugging in celebration.

“This calls for a party!”

        _____________________________________________________________________________________

                                                                                                         Accompanying the video is a group photo of the team with the newly engaged couple. Clint, Tony, Steve, Thor and Bruce was at Natasha’s right, beaming proudly like brothers. On Maria’s left is Pepper, Darcy, and Jane looking at the camera with broad smiles. As for Natasha and Maria, they were smiling so widely their eyes were sparkling.

@darcygodtaser: Congratulations to our beloved spider @n_romanoff and commander @off_hill ! They’re perfect for each other. They’ve got to be the most romantic people I know. Trust me, I’ve dated before.

@tap_me: OH MY GOD @n_romanoff is getting hitched!!! And to a woman! I think I’m in wonderland. Her fiancée @off_hill is so romantic, and fucking gorgeous even from afar.

@gaymer: The gays win!!!! Fuck the people who told us @n_romanoff was dating a man. @off_hill and @n_romanoff are lucky to have each other. Congratulations!

@spiderlover: Who’s taking which surname? Natasha Hill? Maria Romanoff? Romanoff-Hill? Hill-Romanoff. I HAVE TO KNOW @n_romanoff @off_hill

@n_romanoff: @off_hill I think Mrs. Maria Romanoff-Hill has a nice ring to it.

@off_hill: @n_romanoff As long as you marry me I don’t care what surname you pick.

Laying on their bed and content, Natasha nipped Maria’s jaw, “Damn it Hill, I thought you’d argue with me.”

Maria looked down with a raised brow, “Do you want me to argue with you?”

She shrugged, “Not really, but this is why I’m marrying you, you keep me on my toes.”

“Of course I keep you on your toes, how would you kiss me otherwise.” Maria giggled at her own joke.

Maria’s laughter stopped Natasha from retaliating. She gazed at the commander and couldn’t help but smile. She’s going to marry this amazing woman. She couldn’t wait.