#Yes he says some funny things
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mint-mumbles · 5 months ago
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Just played Homicipher for the first time today (really good game btw, can’t wait for the full release) and when the player hides from Mr. Crawling without a weapon he goes to comfort them.
I was able to translate what he said after he pats the player character’s head after he startles them:
“There, there. Worry gone.”
Bro. I love him so much 🥹
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jade-len · 11 months ago
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i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.
picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.
it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.
and then he gets to the sword.
demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.
but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.
when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.
the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.
and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.
the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.
luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.
instead, he hears this:
"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."
but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.
"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."
"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."
"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."
"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"
somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.
weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.
xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.
it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.
sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.
maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.
maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.
"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.
hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."
xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.
...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.
(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)
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cripplepunkbarbarian · 7 months ago
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I see peoples belief that Aguefort "loves The Seven, couldn't care less about most other parties (including The Rat Grinders), and actively dislikes The Bad Kids" and raise you:
He loves and respects The Seven in the closest way Arthur Aguefort is physically capable of approaching towards a sensible mentor figure (which is still not very much)
He is neutral towards most other parties
AND he loves The Bad Kids except he is doing so in the way that an absolutely unhinged friend of your parents who calls himself your uncle cares for you (he is sleeping off a hangover on your couch, eating all your snacks, and engaging you in psychological warfare but also he has some wild stories to tell you while taking you into the woods and teaching you how to throw knives (if you promise not to narc on him to your parents))
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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 2 months ago
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Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet
Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)
Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked
#these just sum up my personal takes at the years in question and also what i'm seeing on tumblr/other social media#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#and i actually have a lot more thoughts to share on this series#specifically relating to the cultural impact#there is SO much about the show that goes unappreciated in hindsight because of how public perception of it has soured#and i totally fell into this as well--i still regularly rewatch hbomberguy's video absolutely dismantling the series and he isn't wrong!!#but what i'm saying is that i think it's easy for us to look at a piece of media (especially one so massively popular) like sherlock...#with very black-and-white lenses. it wouldn't have become so popular if there wasn't something inherent in it that resonated with people#and that's being buried (and i totally forgot it) because 'sherlock is cringe and problematic. can't believe i liked that'#which again it IS full of issues and those are well-documented as they should be. future portrayals should not repeat those mistakes#BUT being able to impact so many people is a merit in itself. and that's only possible because of other genuinely good things about the show#yes the way they handled the relationship between john and sherlock was riddled with problems YES it was often queerbaiting#AND the way they portrayed that relationship had a deep effect on me. i saw a lot of myself in sherlock and the complex way he loved john#the nuanced feelings he had about john's marriage to mary. the part (in s4!) where john calls him inhuman for not feeling romantic love#there was genuine intention and care put into some parts of this show and it comes through in scenes like those. they impact people.#and because of this realization i'm going to (eventually) do a rewatch of the show. i'm much older and i want to see how i'll view it now#but i want to go into it--and i want everyone who engages with it still--to have an open mind and evaluate it for what it is#not what we expected it to be (secret episode anyone?) or what the cultural drift has turned it into (the tiktok of sherlock's mind palace)#but the messy problematic somewhat-heartfelt massively significant and ultimately meaningful piece of media it actually was#anyway that's my thoughts would love to hear y'all's perspectives#funny how after all this time making a sherlock post still feels like i'm poking a bees' nest lol please be kind!#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags
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i have this really stupid idea in my head that im frankly a little obsessed with and the idea is this: trent crimm doing a drunk history episode on ted lasso's first tenure at richmond. is that how drunk history works? i don't think so. do i care? absolutely not. it's a special episode who cares because this image is not only hysterical to me but treasured. i treasure this image. i hold it close in my heart and also laugh and laugh and laugh.
#ted is played by what is very visibly a butch lesbian in a huge fake mustache.#roy is inexplicably played by himself in a wig.#ternt drunkenly and passionately explaining this whole thing. he says his own line and the trent actor (who also has a wig) gets to act it#trent waving his hands as he's explaining all this. the host being like 'not very often we get to have someone include the part where They#come into the story' and trents like [dorkiest finger guns]#also yes i said first tenure bc this scenario lives in post canon fantasy fix it land where ambiguously ted comes back to richmond#at some point. and also both bc my tedependent heart is obsessed and bc it's really funny#marries trent. just bc i want this to end with trent--hammered and pleased as punch--being like AND THEN I MARRIED HIM!!!!!#[falls back on couch happily] :)#also in the line of that great 5+1 social media fic#by jessjessthebest. a sequel thats just like a youtube video like#'we made ted lasso and trent crimm watch that episode of drunk history about them' and trent is just. head in hands the whole time.#ted is DELIGHTED.#anyway i rotate this in my brain fucking DAILY. it's so goddamn funny to me.#ted lasso#tedependent#tedtrent#trent crimm#the line in question being 'is this a fucking joke' i just realized i did not clarify that#no but really im obsessed with this it's so fucking funny#also any image trent had left of being a ruthless ex journalist is thoroughly ruined#all of his former colleagues have seen him and drunk and giggling and fully admitting what he was thinking at the time and oh boy#hes a disaster <3#gertspeak
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every time I hear someone say "oh you have to listen to Dear Evan Hansen it has such good mental health representation" I cry in Next to Normal
#next to normal#and yes this is based on a true story#generally I dont try to juck anyones jum so I of course didn't tell that person what I was thinking at that moment#and if someone found Dear Evan Hansen a useful text in terms of their own mental health journey who am I to discredit that#but this is the internet and I am back on the ntn train#in a way it is my saf autumn musical#and yes I am a survior of the 2017 Tony Awards why were you asking?#no but seriously#it is so interesting how many narrative devices Dear Evan Hansen took from Next to Normal#but turned them into a less complete piece#like Gabe in ntn is a representation of unadressed grief and trauma and the family has to accept that he will never be really gone#and connor is just...idk not fully thought out?#idk I'm rambling#but also#how the love story between Henry and Natalie means something#Natalie sees her parent's relationship and desperately doesn't want that for herself and Henry at the same time also stand for#a piece of normalcy that seems attainable#you don't sit there and think hu why is there this completely separate love story thrown in there?#it mirrors the problems#and dear evan hansen#do I even have to say it#I thnk the thing I resent it most for is that it has a love story#naja#I'm of listening to net to normal some more#sorry I someone who really likes deh stumbles accross this#I feel like espechially musicals can be something that can be so personal#and I don't actually want to contribute to more stuff like#ew why do you like this when theres xyz that is so much better or morally purer or whatever#I guess what I do want to say is: if I had a nickle for everytime they made a musical about mental health where theres a ghost on stage and#the sister of the dead kid falls in love with a funny guy while her family is falling apart
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dykedvonte · 4 months ago
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I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.
Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.
#like i genuinely think he would like not fall into the military if he was in modern times because of all the other things he could do#he clearly has a passion for tech and mods and likely would find himself more useful as like a mechanic like at most hes one of those range#types or something but I feel like people equate his seriousness and him being a military man to closemindedness when its like having to ge#a new view point like we really dont know what he believed in before the BoS if he believed in anything at all outside of selling scrap to#survive before basically having an army recruiter have him join one of the scariest factions like why is the BoS so fucking violent???#like the BoS operates in such a way cause there is no civilian population like everyone is something or training to be so they arent really#fighting for anything but themselves at this point which is just a feedback loop of gaining more power and is not equatable to real#military people due to the fact most of the recruits are really born and bred to be soliders while say irl you have a family and country to#fight for and return to outside the military which is def grounding as Danse wouldn't be in the army 24/7 like in canon#idk its odd to me when a character that is has fantastic racism ergo the trope of bigotry to fake races people try to translate it to real#life especially when those races have not equivalent like tell me what is the irl equal to a fucking ghoul or super mutant like????#racism is not like a funny headcanon like making him a defrosting prude or by the book is whatever but he would not be a bigot just like a#narc or some shit hed tell on me for loitering but I know hed tear apart each voting party and likely the military for being self serving#and like knows all about it and it makes him sound like a politics nut but its more annoyance like I have such strong feelings about#characters who would be marginially better if they were not victums to the military like yes I believe we can fix Danse he just needs to#be around not war/the military for like a week and see people be happy existing like he doesnt know how to do that but this is a weird take#ive seen mostly from white fans that makes me super uncomfy like ur weird#anyway still fuck the brotherhood everyone is so rude like damn i know its the east coast but can we get a little hospitality fuck you#maccready was right brotherhood of squeal more like it dont worry porky we'll get you out (danse is porky btw)#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse
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hanzajesthanza · 1 month ago
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(Adam Dudaczyk) The fact that vampires drink blood to get that *meaningful hand-neck gesture* - you made that up? (Andrzej Sapkowski) Yes, I didn't model myself on anyone here, I don't know anyone who wrote before me about the fact that vampires drink blood not to satisfy their hunger, but to satisfy their thirst for… entertainment. Texts: the guys sent me to get blood, I was flying drunk… The fun was great.
as i reread this i couldn't stop thinking of this meme
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#EDIT: see replies and asks right after this - hitting the side of the neck means drunk :D#i think the 'gesture' here must have been tilting your head back and lifting your hand to your lips mimicking throwing back a shot#but i don't know because nothing more is described in the writeup of the interview anyways#official translation of above texts: 'the boys sent me to the village to fetch some blood' 'i flew under the influence'#if those ring more bells#the witcher books#c: regis#because i wish to eat a third donut#interviews#andrzej sapkowski#this is why the regis enjoyment does not really extend to other vampires for me. well except wwdits vampires#i guess my rule is that: 'they have to be funny'#the thing is... yes regis can disappear into thin air and turn into a bat and bewitch with a gaze#but... his struggle... is mundane :p#he's... very normal. he sleeps in a bedroll and eats breakfast just with everyone else... idk regis with porridge is so funny to me#fantasy genre: so what is your idea for vampires? unholy demons? walking corpses? humanity in crisis of undeath? sexy aristocrats????#sapkowski: Alcoholism.#i will say though SOOOOO refreshing to have a vampire that's around humans and not struggling with the urge to 'feed' on them jfc#regis' urge to drink not being some inhuman clawing or some lustful thirst nonsense#but the desire to have a drink that comes from being socially awkward at a party...#and of course later... the kind of desire to have a drink that comes from when your life and everything in it has gone to shit#'... all fears linked to my vampiric nature are groundless. I won’t attack anybody...#... nor will I creep around at night trying to sink my teeth into somebody’s neck.'#that milva and cahir (and likely also dandelion though he wouldn't admit to it in writing) checked their necks when they woke up LOL !#one for my fellow geregis enjoyers:#regis: don't worry i wont press my lips to your neck | dandelion milva cahir: wheeewww! | geralt: ... aw :T
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epickiya722 · 29 days ago
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What's so funny about seeing interpretations, over the years, of Midoriya being jealous that Bakugou is friends with other people in their class is that in canon, Midoriya easily made friends himself and barely batted a lash at Bakugou making friends. In fact, he was more likeable because at a time, the class didn't like Bakugou like that. In the beginning, Midoriya was freaking out that the class was actually talking crap about Bakugou because he wasn't used to that from others (as the school they went to, people would flock around Bakugou).
Like, maybe it's just me, but Midoriya being jealous like that just feels like it came out of nowhere for me. Like, the moment Kirishima even came into the picture, Midoriya already had him his trio with Iida and Uraraka.
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winepresswrath · 5 months ago
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Armand's simpering little "and I never have" has taken on new dimensions for me. Technicality king and also I think very in keeping with his whole malign fairy creature deal. You can tell him not to hurt the bae, but you should really specify what "hurt" entails. Is chopping someone's hands off really hurting them? If they have annoyed you very much I mean.
-questions Armand might pose to Lestat that inspire him to leave the country
#I do think the root of what makes Lesmad so funny is that it is literally the one of two times Lestat has displayed good sense in love#both times his mother was standing right there telling him what to do so take from that what you will#but lestat does enjoy negative attention and fucking around to find out and needling powerful entities who are enamored with him#it takes so much for him to say yes you're hot. but still no#you are too good at fucking will my head and too willing to take liberties with my body i don't like this#though iirc part of it was having experienced Armand's mind whammy he didn't want to leave him in proximity to Gabrielle#once again mommy issues carry the day#anyway#press says iwtv#I have a post percolating in my heart about the reversal of Gabby telling Lestat she just wants to die knowing he's safe in Paris with his#boyfriend#explicitly severing their codependent you're my other half my twin me but a man thing#and Gabby telling him to leave Nicki with Armand and run#but it's actually half a post that amounts to a) this too is a perversion brought on by living past your own death and#b) actually though it's her being a good mom in both instances#like probably the two times she most clearly manages that are#leave this place and me and live your own best life without guilt or shame#and leave your boyfriend who has had a psychotic break and hates you now. do not involve yourself with the sewer creature who is violently#obsessed with you.#she packed up her kid and she left! also did some other things but we don't need to talk about that#cw: incest#interview with the vampire
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i-am-thevoid · 3 months ago
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Pov: You messed with the wrong Courier
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mulders-too-large-shirt · 4 months ago
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the x files au where everything is exactly the same except mulder takes home the child neanderthal from the jersey devil episode and raises them as his own
#you could make this super fun and invoke a sense of deep Guilt on behalf of mulder because he feels he got the mom neanderthal killed#and then you can also make it fun in “c'mon sport let's go throw the ball around kind of way”#i imagine him at the library checking out books on early humanoid species and how to parent at the same time#the librarian silently checking the books out and wondering what on earth this man could possibly be needing such resources for#imagine scully's reaction to this. i can't quite place it beyond initial Disbelief and then subsequent trying to be as supportive as she ca#and she would probably be also very Nerdy about the whole thing. because she strikes me as someone well-read on the subject and fascinated#we also know she at least has some experience wrangling children which would be relevant#i imagine a bunch of anthropologists perpetually hovering over the child to study him but they have to be Chill and not disrupt his life#so the kid just grows up thinking they have a ton of really cool and supportive aunts and uncles over all the time#meanwhile they scientists are taking notes furiously as they see if he can adapt to playing a gameboy with the other kids#idk someone probably thought of this idea before but it's funny to me#why would the kid go to him and not someone far more qualified? idk i'm just playing pretend in my brain :)#this thought was prompted by me wondering if you time traveled and brought an early humanoid to the modern era do you think the kid#would still play minecraft? i say yes. probably.#i saw a post about something similar years ago and i wonder about it. i hope you would like cartoons and subway surfers neanderthals.#the x files#txf#fox mulder
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seaofreverie · 3 months ago
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GUUUYYUYSSSD !!!!!
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‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
KIMONO MY HOUSE VINYL!!!!!!
Also funny story which is that when my brother took these to the cashier he said something like "oh... Sparks... they were here one year ago"
#YES THEM BEING THERE IS EXACTLY WHY I TOLD MY BROTHER TO GO THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE ('there' being tower records in japan)#but i find it so funny that the cashier actually remarked on that fact too#anyway. you need to know that i'm feeling so very AAAAHHHH right now. all of these are such a big deal to me#i didn't think i'd actually own KMH ON VINYL at any point#also utterly shocked about the guerilla toss CD. very exciting to have that one too#they're one of my fav bands and i implore everyone who likes unhinged and very experimental and cacophonic rock to check them out#this album (eraser stargazer) isn't the most accessible thing there is out there but i really love it#(i don't even know how to describe it properly. it's just really something to behold anyway)#the plushie is also a gift from my brother!! i'll gladly take any name suggestions for him#oh and also sparks debut album. first album that i own both on CD and vinyl as of today#it's not even that it's my fav sparks album or anything (i do really love it though and it's definitely somewhere in my top ten)#it's just that some albums feel more like they 'fit' with the vinyl format than CD in sound. to me at least#one other example of that besides this one being gratsax#ok i think that's all i have to say about this. one of the most epic hauls of my life that's for sure#OH WAIT one more thing. somewhat unfortunate actually#which is that my brother said he's pretty sure he saw a latte vinyl#but when he passed by that section again like 10 minutes later he already couldn't find it. oh latte.......#it's ok i'll have it one day. i'm really curious what went down there though. did someone really snag it in those 10 minutes???#and yes in case you're worried i did thank my brother profusely for getting me all this#and now i'm going to force him to listen to the TMBG vinyl with me so that he's PREPARED FOR THE CONCERT#that's in 3 months and that he's know about for a year and a half. ok i'm done now#goosepost
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guidingthulite · 4 months ago
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i finished yokai gakuen
#jinpei jiba#yokai gakuen#yokai watch jam#y gakuen#DO I THINK JINPEI IS GENUINELY QUEER-CODED?#NO.#AM I CONVINCED HE IS THOUGH?#YES#can't believe i went 'jinpei's thing with older ladies is because he has mommy issues. he's actually gay'#AND THEN THE#THE HEALING THING WITH LANA HAPPENED...#then there's the third opening it's. so funny#it's talking about mysteries UNTIL jinpei and raimu are together#then it switches to romance#then it switches to mysteries again#AND THEN ROMANCE WHEN JINPEI AND RAIMU ARE TOGETHER AGAIN#OH ALSO THE THIRD OP IS NAMED ANCIENT ROMANTIC. LANA SAYS SHE'S AN ANCIENT. THEREFORE RAIMU IS TOO. HOW IS THAT NOT ON PURPOSE#also i'm very sure he has a crush on matarou too like come on#which is really sad because raimu left and then matarou left. the poor guy gjrhbgrg#anyways my review is that wow that was a mess. i mess i'm attached to sadly#also i need to edit the post on haus-mom where i got some things wrong#the way of the alma is that i get into a popular-ish franchise and instead of staying on my lane#i get into the weird spin off nobody has ever heard off. why does it keep happening#it's really funny because i kept calling jinpei my cat son (my stupid cat son to be more specific)#and there are two (2) characters i currently call my children (i do not call myself hau's mom even though it's still my url fjebhgher)#and those are jinpei and yuuichi mizuoka. which is really funny. because yuuichi would kill him on sight i'm sure. or they'd be besties#no inbetween#hold on... isn't that the true spirit of brother-ness?#anyways i will maybe post my liveblogging to my liveblogging blog it has been. a trip jebgher
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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thetrolltolls · 1 year ago
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gang gets stranded in the woods is a hysterical episode for a lot of reasons but the whole premise of the episode being mac crashed the car because there was a squirrel in the road really makes it. i can think of 20 reasonable options for car trouble that could open the episode or even avoiding a deer in the road (which can happen in rural jersey) but. mac grabbed the wheel to avoid a squirrel.
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