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mlobsters · 7 months

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supernatural s14e7 unhuman nature (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)

finally getting back to nick bashing someone's skull in i gather

sam the only one that apparently knows how to interact with a healthcare establishment. are they going to try to make me cry? because i really don't want to deal with that today

thought this diner looked familiar and like something in x-files, well. this super cool site has shows and episodes with pictures from things that filmed there! the magicians, the x-files and i, robot - relevant to my viewing history. need to get spn listed in there too. and i got to that info because the wiki has the also super cool maps with locations for every episode

SAM I mean, this place, we tried, but they've never seen anything like Jack, and we can't exactly tell them what he is. DEAN Then let's get him out of here. Let's bring him home. Let's do what we do. Let's find a way. Hell, I was even thinkin' maybe Rowena… SAM Already called her.

sammy's on the ball. there's always one parent who's best at dealing with the medical stuff

SAM Somebody is sick, all right, but… Listen, I-I don't know how well you got to know our friend Jack with everything that was going on when you were here, but we've sort of been taking care of him, and, uh, he's, um… Lucifer's son. ROWENA Goodbye. SAM No, no, no. Stop, stop. He's a great kid. His mother was a fantastic human being, a-a-and he wanted nothing to do with Lucifer, w-who is dead, as you know. ROWENA I hope he's rotting.

i'm not on board with her characterization flip flop but i can appreciate this dynamic she has with sam now

ROWENA It's as I suspected. A Nephilim, for all its power, is an unnatural presence. Part human, part angel… It -- It doesn't quite fit. It's delicate. Its grace is what holds it in balance, and when Jack's grace was taken from him, his being fell into chaos. The -- The cells are gobbling each other up.

reminds me of what i mentioned in recap of 12x19

if the kid is half grace wouldn’t you end up with a half a kid :p

variation on the theme. supernatural or mental illness: panic attack edition

i thought i was gonna get through this without it pushing on my dead parents buttons but no such luck. i've been on the receiving end of that conversation with a doctor that their bodies are shutting down. and all told that was 28 and 12 years ago respectively but it can still reduce me to a sobbing wreck pretty damned fast with the right prompts.

being a good dad with this driving lesson. i am not looking forward to those days, it's gonna stress me the fuck out and you gotta play it cool so you don't stress them the fuck out. double whammy

SAM Yo, Cass, wait. Are you sure you wanna handle this alone? CASS I, uh… I feel the need to do something. And I think Dean's right. We can't afford to overlook any possibility. He seems to be taking this particularly hard. SAM Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he -- he, uh, was pretty rough on Jack at the beginning, and...I don't think he's forgotten. And I know he hasn't forgiven himself. You know, he's lost people, we've all lost people, but, um… CASS This feels different. Losing, um...a son...feels different.

like sam can't even look at him after that. almost want sam to go with him just so that neither one is alone.

i'm reminded of 11x23 where they pushed hard on this dean going to sacrifice himself and saying goodbye at their parents graves and all and. how i knew, we knew, this was going to be walked back. that he wasn't actually dying. now i don't know how long alexander calvert is in the show, how many more episodes, etc. but i do have a very vague idea of where jack is at the end of the series. and i don't want them to kill him off and not have his actor back, but i also really don't want an episode that's making me break down sobbing when it's gonna be magically fixed at the last minute or whatever either. i'm trying to just push through the episode so i don't drag this out another day. not to mention i'm sure i'm going to have a fucking awful headache tomorrow

JACK You once told me you and your father did the exact same thing. It was your happiest memory of him. DEAN I didn't say that. JACK It was how you said it. I could tell. I guess my point is that… if I don't make it… The stuff I'd miss -- it wouldn't be things like Tahiti. Or the Taj Mahal. I'd miss more time with you. I'm getting that life isn't all these big, amazing moments. It's time together that matters. Like this. DEAN Well, who'd have thought hanging out with me would make you sentimental? JACK I've had a good life, Dean.

dean deflecting, per usual. but yeah. full-on "you're gonna cry" mode.

look at that. rando man we've never heard of happens to have some of gabriel's grace and a special spell. sure. at least it didn't work, i guess. not going for that cheap of an out

s14e7 / terminator 2: judgement day

pellegrino always delivers but i am so tired of lucifer. the effects were pretty okay until they decided to do this lucifer-empty!terminator skull situation. they gonna end up getting jack-via-lucifer's grace back this way?

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 14x07 #spnwhinge #i guess #spnsob more like it #eugenie ross leming #brad buckner

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normalboyfriend · 3 years

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Last night I had a dream where I was taken a different world and started a new life and a relationship. About 9 years into my stay, the person I had been in a relationship told me, "It's only been 30 seconds since you had your accident." Apparently, I had died and the person I was with was what might have been the equivalent of what Christianity calls an angel, except they were more akin to sort of trickster that could warp the world around them. He then told me that when people die, they come to this place and decide if they want to stay or not. If they stay, their soul separates from their body and they remain in the new world. If they don't stay, their soul remains tethered to their physical body, and their soul dies with them. He then explained the reason why this world was so sparsely populated was because people find it incredibly difficult to part from their old life.

#dreams #Yeah actually I *have* seen every episode of spn I *know* that played a part here

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dirtydancingdean · 4 years

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something about how dean so completely parallels buffy summers from btvs like they are two iterations of the same character. i mean, buffy the vampire slayer is an undeniably a big influence on supernatural, even if the show itself wouldn’t exactly advertise that fact. you have sam’s sacrifice in swan song paralleling buffy’s sacrifice in the gift, the borrowing of a lot of demons and (god help me) lore, the weird amount of buffy actors in the show (sometimes playing vampires, which is hysterical), the campiness and horror. hell, even cas’s moment of pure happiness seems like a nod to angel’s moment of pure happiness. (dean and cas did it better though). but the biggest similarity is the way dean parallels buffy. he’s obviously not meant to. he’s supposed to be a gun-slinging, wise-cracking ladies man, but that’s not what he becomes. honestly that’s not even what he comes across as in the beginning. buffy and dean are both meant to be heroes, but buffy is the main character of her show, while that’s supposed to be sam in dean’s. and buffy and sam do share their similarities, particularly in their desire for normality which backfires on them because of their equally weighed desire to help people. but dean is so much more like buffy in so many ways?? like buffy, dean always feels everything is his responsibility (like he says in 7.05, “There’s always something eating at me. That’s who I am. something happens, I feel responsible, all right?”). this is largely in part thanks to j*hn winchester, while buffy’s sense of responsibility comes from the fact that a whole group of old white men have told her she’s the one girl in all the world who can fight evil. both of them kind of know on some level that this is kind of fucked up and even try attempting to fight back against their imposed duties occasionally. dean says it in 2.20: “Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?” which is buffy to a t! that's what buffy is all about! the loneliness and unfairness of having this burden on your shoulders! buffy says this in prophecy girl: “I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.” but they both always, always go back to do their job. they both always sacrifice their own happiness for others. none of the writers would have intended to have dean make a speech that is entirely parallel to buffy summers’s prophecy girl speech, right down to both sarah michelle gellar and jackles’s tears. because ha ha, buffy is a girl hero, while dean is the embodiment of every male fantasy about what an action hero is.

the thing is, though, when you make dean every male fantasy in the world - attractive, good with women, tough, strong, likes rock music, hates chick flick moments, knows how to shoot a gun, looks good doing it, etc - you make him every male fantasy about women too. which is how we get those slow, full-body shots of dean that you normally only get with women, how we get dean being a caretaker, dean being a pacifier between sam and john, dean watching dirty dancing and liking taylor swift, dean always being the bait, dean’s interactions with villains being framed sexually, dean getting called pretty twice a season. we joke about dean being a hot action girl but he is often objectified in the particular way only women in media are. the way buffy is - in the show i think they actually did a pretty good job of not objectifying buffy. but there are times where they do, and it’s uncomfortable, and it’s subtle, the way it is on spn. and buffy and dean are both used to this kind of treatment; they often weaponize their sexuality, using it when they feel threatened. in the first episode of s2, buffy’s just suffered the enormous trauma of being resurrected after having been bitten by a vampire whose violence has sexual undertones. when she comes back to her friends, they talk about how closed off and mean she’s being, culminating in the scene where she goes to the bronze. if you haven't seen that scene then i dont know how to explain the way she absolutely uses her sexuality against xander and angel, just like dean uses his as a front to protect himself against everyone. when buffy’s traumatized she pushes herself away from those closest to her, represses her emotions, and uses fighting demons as a distraction. sound familiar? buffy and dean both make witty pop culture references that monsters don’t understand and self-deprecating jokes about themselves to deal with when they feel threatened and their low opinions of themselves. buffy has a lot of lines that sound just like dean’s! @lazarusr1sing mentioned buffy saying, “I may be dead, but I’m still pretty, which is more than I can say for you,” as a line that dean literally could have said and it’s true! they’re both a fan of quirky banter during fights but they’re both so messed up when it comes to their opinions of themselves. buffy in 7x07: “I have all this power. I didn't ask for it. I don't deserve it. It's like... I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. [...] I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. 'Cause even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything cause their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. [...] Sometimes I feel...this is awful. I feel like I'm better than them. Superior.” yeah, that’s...dean.

and they absolutely dive into self guilt and hatred if something goes wrong, even if it’s not necessarily their fault. faith in 3x15 says to buffy, “In the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some random bystander who got caught in the crossfire,” and buffy says, “I am.” the amount of trauma buffy and dean both go through kind of desensitizes them to this idea - dean especially, i think, though that’s mainly the fault of the sheer amount of writers and episodes supernatural has - but if they get someone killed, they will do absolutely anything to make up for it.

the idea of sympathetic monsters in buffy and supernatural is met with scorn a lot of the time by buffy and dean. for buffy this is a matter of mental self-preservation. her job is to kill demons, and if she lets herself think all demons can be good, then that means she might have been killing sentient beings that could have done good or weren’t doing harm, since she was a teenager. she can’t let herself think that way so she closes herself off to the possibility of demons being good a lot of the time. we talk about how supernatural majorly drops the ball when it comes to empathizing with the monsters (where’s that post, you know, the, “saving people, hunting things, white men with guns decide which is which,” post), but when it comes to dean, part of that is because, like buffy, he doesn’t want to face the idea that he’s been killing things that aren’t evil since he was a child. he’ll make exceptions (cas, crowley, benny, rowena), like buffy makes exceptions (angel, spike, clem, oz, anya), but it’s easier if it’s all black and white. they’re both strangely attracted to monsters too, though, because part of them feels like they are monsters themselves. like @s4castiel said they have romantic or romantically implied relationships with things they’re meant to fight - dean with benny, cas, and crowley + buffy with angel, spike, and faith. and monsters change themselves for buffy and dean’s sakes – cas, benny, crowley, angel, spike, all become better for the sake of buffy and dean! like that leviathan in 7.06 who says dean doesn’t have relationships he has applications for sainthood!

they hate the idea of being seen as just a killer (dean in 3.10, “Daddy knew what you were. Good soldier and nothing else,” and buffy in 5.22, “Guess that means a Slayer really is just a killer after all.”) dean says, “[A killer] is not who I am,” to chuck in 15.19, just like buffy says, “A slayer is not a killer,” through the later seasons. spike’s speech in 5.07 i think, really says it: “Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it, not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day, that final gasp, that look of peace.” their worst fear is that all they can do is hurt other people. they’ve been brought up to think violence is all they can do. but they both are first and foremost protectors, especially when it comes to sam and dawn, whose roles in both shows respectively is to be a reminder of dean and buffy’s humanity.

dawn, who first shows up in season 5 as buffy’s younger sister, is, represents buffy’s most beloved parts of herself, buffy’s humanity. sam is a lot like her in the respect that their destiny was to end the world; they’re both book-smart too, while buffy and dean act a lot like dumb blondes despite being incredibly intelligent in ways that aren’t clear to everyone. (not to go on a tangent but they’re both really good battle tacticians who make a lot of references to literature and tv shows and can perceive people and monsters’ weaknesses, etc.) dawn is dangerous to the world like sam is dangerous to the world in s2-s5, but buffy will not kill her like dean will not kill sam. you know how in the end 2009 dean realizes just how much 2014 dean has changed when he talks about killing sam as lucifer? sam is dean’s humanity like dawn is buffy’s humanity. they both put their siblings over everything else in the world. they sacrifice things that sam and dawn can’t begin to understand because dean and buffy shield them from it - dean in 2.22: “I had to take care of you. It’s my job,” and buffy in 6.14: “Dawn, the most important job that I have is looking out for you.” in s5 of buffy, if dawn lives, the world ends, and buffy doesn’t care because she can’t kill dawn. in 5.22 she says, “I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that...I just wish my mom was here. [..] If Dawn dies, I’m done with it. I’m quitting,” paralleling dean quitting hunting after sam dies. they’re both insanely protective over dawn and sam - dean in 2.09: “You make a move on [Sam], you'll be dead before you hit the ground,” and buffy in 5.22: “I’ll kill anyone who comes near Dawn.” when sam dies in 2.22, dean doesn’t hesitate to offer up his soul in exchange for sam’s life; when dawn is about to die to save the world in 5.22, buffy doesn’t hesitate to die to save the world in dawn’s place. this all on top of the fact that sam and dawn are the babies, the ones dean and buffy have to take care of, which means that...no one is taking care of dean and buffy. like, dean in 3.10: “Sam, [John] doted on. Sam he loved,” and buffy’s mom in 5.05 hugging dawn and calling her “little punkin belly” and in response to buffy’s question of, “Did you ever have any names for me?” says, “No, I think you were always just Buffy.” when buffy’s mom gets sick in s5, buffy has to shoulder an incredible amount of responsibility - giving her mom her medicine, taking care of her, taking care of dawn, fighting a hellgod - and can’t break down in front of anyone because she has to be strong for dawn and her mom, the way dean has to be strong for sam and john (john in 2.01: “You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once.) they’re both so scared of opening up and being a burden - buffy’s nightmare hallucination of her deadbeat dad in 1.10 says the same kind of stuff about her being a burden and unwanted that zachariah’s projection of mary says in 5.16. it really is about the eldest sister complex in the end!!!

but they didn’t ever really mean to have dean be like buffy! buffy was literally meant to subvert traditional male action heroes. buffy summers is the male action hero, but she gets to have feelings and traditionally feminine traits too. she likes cheese and wearing pink and dressing up and having pretty hair, but she thinks about battle tactics and kills a vampire like every episode. dean? dean is meant to be the male action hero without the part about having feelings and traditionally feminine traits...except that backfires spectacularly. i mean, they give dean traits such as liking nightgowns to be like haha, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, isn’t that HILARIOUS. except it doesn’t come off that way, we know it doesn’t come off that way. so dean’s watched dead poets society and rent and he sings along to air supply and is good with kids and nerds out over cowboys, but he drives a classic muscle car and kills death and carries a gun with him everywhere he goes. dean and buffy both become multifaceted, complicated, human heroes – but it was intentional for buffy. it was unintentional for dean, so the narrative actively punishes him for it. i mean ymmv on how you feel about the ending of buffy, but she does get a satisfying happy ending. dean, on the other hand, is silenced and killed off and gets the worst possible ending for his character, all because they couldn’t control him.

#this is not coherent at ALL im so sorry #but #*blows a kiss* for all my dean girls in love with buffy!#supernatural #buffy the vampire slayer #mine #buffynatural

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kirschkid · 4 years

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Misha Collins - StageIt 22.11.20

First of all, let me tell you that for me Misha is the sweetest and greatest person on earth. I'm really happy I was there, watching him talk about Spn and Castiel. So I want to give you some of that joy, I hope I get everything right. Here it is:

Misha at the beginning of the panel: "So strange not to be able to see your smiling faces." His last shooting on the show was a while ago, so Misha thought he had mourn but "... watching that last episode was quite an emotional experience for me! Kinda took me out for a good couple of days. Just because it... for me personal it represents the end of a chapter of my life. And yet I do have that feeling that this supernatural fandom isn't going anywhere. That somehow we are going to be able to stick together... "

I saw some of the other online panels and everybody had selected questions to answer. When the chat is just rushing through, this totally makes sense. But still, Misha trying to read the chat so he could answer was the sweetest!

Question: "We know Jack brought Cas back but we didn't get to see how that played out. What do you think happened and what is he up to?"

Misha: "There was a different ending originally to supernatural that covid restrictions made impossible to shoot. I think we are not supposed to talk about what that ending was going to be. But it was very cool but it involved bringing back lots of lots of cast members from over the years and big crowd scenes..." "... so in the original ideation of the ending Cas hadn't gone to rebuild heaven. There was a different conclusion for him. So I actually did not read the last two episodes before they aired. Because I just wanted to go on a journey as an audience member and watch the episodes not knowing how the story would unfold exactly. I knew a little bit of what Cas's and Jack's fate were... in the abstract just from conversations, but because I wasn't in it I don't know what the answer is." Misha goes on a bit about the way Jack is but it's not really going anywhere. So sorry I cut it here.

Question: "What qualities does Castiel has that are qualities of Misha?"

Misha: "I think there are a lot of them. And I think that that's because over time the character melded with me. And I with him to an extend." (He had a little but a very cute smile on his face, saying that!) "When the show started Castiel was just this like... he was a soldier, he was a warrior and he was just bound in determined to serve the interests of heaven. And over time we got to see him unfurl as a bit of a fish out of water who didn't quite feel like he fit in with either angels or humanity. Felt like a little bit of an outsider and I think that that is something that I have felt for much of my life." (Can somebody tell me how it can be, that a person like Misha Collins ever has to feel that way?! Sorry... just had to say that.) "He became frankly like softer, more sensitive and he tried to do the right thing. Tried to be a good person. These are qualities that I have. But you know I don't think of myself like a hardened warrior. And I think that that's how Cas was written at the very beginning." Misha goes on about the fact, that not only him but also Jared and Jensen over the years formed the characters they played with their own personality.

Question: "What is the one thing you will take with you from Castiel?"

Misha told us that he discussed this with Jared and Jensen recently, that "the characters really became kind of a part of us." when you play a character for so long. Misha: "When I was watching Dean's death scene I cried. But I was really crying because it was like that's Cas's friend Dean dying. It's a weird thing on an emotional level to have a blurring of the lines between yourself and your character. And I think that that happened to all of us. And it is just because we inhabited them for so long. The characters became facets of ourselves. I literally feel like I will take the character away. You know what I mean?! He is always going to be with me. He is going to be an aspect of my being, forever. Which is strange... yeah... I don't know." Again he goes one a little bit.

Again the topic of how the show was meant to end came up. Misha was considering the idea of telling us, even if he wasn't supposed to. (Not sure if he was kidding or truly trying to figure that out. You know, it's Misha!) Misha: "I tell you... we saw a version of Sam and Deans heaven that was populated with all these people from their past. All of the characters from the show that we have come to love, that Sam and Dean have come to love over the years. They were there in this version of heaven."

Misha talked about Castiels outfit for quite a while. Telling us that they changed it from time to time without really mentioning it. It felt like he had thought about this for a while. And let me tell you,- he has some of the trenchcoats in his wardrobe at home.

Question: "How did you prepare for emotional scenes?"

Misha: He told us how he needs to stay away from people to get in the right mindset. And for the love confession and death scene, he sat down in a corner, and one of the crewmembers, without Misha asking, shield him from people.

Question: "How did you feel when you read the script on how Castiel dies?"

Misha: "I knew that this ending was coming for a long time because I was talking to Bob Berens, the writer, about it. And I was really happy with it, you know. That was sort of the ending that I wanted for Cas and so when I read the script I was really happy that it had made it to be page. It felt like it was a little risky and a little brave for the show to do. And I was happy to be a part of that! And happy to be able to have that character express love like that. So I was happy with it." He took a moment before he continued " I have seen some people complaining about this is playing into the bury the gays trope." He was really careful talking about this, telling us that he didn't think that that's what was happened with Castiels 'ending'. And that so much good came out of this declaration. "This declaration ended up literally saving the world."

Question: "What was your favorite moment of the finale?"

Misha: "My favorite moment of the finale was Dean's death scene. I just thought it was really masterfully executed. Excellent performance from both Jared and Jensen in that scene. It made me cry so that's pretty good."

Question: "Do you think Cas and the other angels got their wings back?"

Misha: "Great question! Yeah, probably. I mean if we were rebuilding heaven we have Jack on our side who is now the new god why can't we finally have our wings back?! What a long and miserable experience that was of not having wings. Cas was so powerful when he started. He could like snap his fingers and teleport anywhere in the world and time travel!"

Question: "What job, non-hunter, would Cas be good at?"

Misha: "Cas would be a great security guard because he never sleeps. So he could just stand there and he doesn't seem to get bored" Misha thinks Cas wouldn't be a great teacher, architect, or artist. But he could see him as a cook.

Question: "In your opinion what color are Castiels wings?"

Misha: "I... shit! I don't know... I always thought they were black but now that you say that we only saw the shadows of them. Ah! They are rainbow-colored!"

Question: "What was your favorite version of Castiel to play?"

Misha: "I had the most fun playing Lucifer..." "I really loved playing the human version of Cas..." "Overall just regular Cas was my favorite." "I'm gonna say Cas-Cas was my favorite."

At the end Misha told us something very important: "I hope you all stay safe and take care of each other. Stay sane it's a hard time right now." "One of the nice things about this supernatural community is that we have all done a good job over the years of taking care of each other so I hope you know that there are people here you can reach out to and there is a community of support. And I appreciate you all!"

-----

So, that's it. It isn't every single word but I hope you enjoy it!

#Misha Collins #Castiel #Supernatural #StageIt #Panel #SPN #SPNFamily #Season 15 #Episode 20 #Carry On #The End

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swiftlymoniquesblog · 4 years

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Sam Girl- Sam Winchester x Reader

Pairings: Sam x Reader, Dean, Castiel

Warnings: FLUFFY FLUFF, mentions of the last half of the final season of SPN and the emotional rollercoaster we’re all currently on (I know, I’m sorry!) lying, secrets, insecurities.

Word Count: 2,407

A/N: This imagine kind of plays off my series Crossing Parallel Lines but it’s totally separate! I came up with this imagine from this locket that I bought from Hot Topic. The Winchesters are always so uncomfortable with the idea of “the other world with the actors who play them on TV” and I love Changing Channels; one of my top favorite Supernatural episodes!

*Italics are flashbacks*

“What?! No! What?! Oh, my Chuck, what the actual hell!” You yell at your phone and throw it across the room.

You huff in annoyance but you feel your heartbreak; you just watched the trailer for the last half of the final season of Supernatural.

“Y/N? Are you okay, I heard you yelling? What happened?” Sam asks, slowly stalking into your slightly ajar door. He knew you could get pretty expressive about your interests and sometimes, the best thing to do is to give you space.

You had been living at the Bunker for a few years since you had connections to the Winchester family. Not that you ever asked for it, but you grew up in the life as well, thanks to your Dad, who ended up getting killed during a hunt when you were sixteen. You had run on your own, doing your hunts, until you got in over your head, and ended up in front of the Bunker, needing the help of the Winchesters to defeat God. Yeah, he was after you too. Your family had more to do with him and had pissed him off, more times than not. It was your Dad who had discovered the lies Chuck had instilled into almost every hunter since the dawn of time, and that wasn’t okay. So, you had to pick up essentially where he left off.

You let out a heavy sigh, running your hands over your face. “Yeah, Sam, I’m okay. I just uh, watched something pretty, well I don’t know how I feel,” you look to him.

“What did you see?” He asks, coming to sit next to you on your bed, after getting the okay from you.

“Um, some animal got hurt and no one could save it,” you say as nonchalantly as possible, hoping Sam would still buy it.

“Oh no, yeah that would upset me too. I’m sorry you saw that baby; are you good now?” He asks as he wraps you up in his arm, pulling you into his side, and kissing your head. You hold onto the opposite side of him, nuzzling your head into his side and showing him the same affection as he was showing you, but also feeling guilty about your lie.

“Yeah, I am. I’m good now, thanks,” you kiss him quickly before you left the room. You hated lying to him but he could never know that side of you. He would dismiss you for sure.

Sam and you had been dating for roughly six months after he heard your discussion with Dean about a current crush you had. Names were never given but it wasn’t hard to figure out who you were referring to. The idea of being close to someone on that level of intimacy again scared him. He knew what the inevitable was for someone like him and it was unfair to the other and it hurt him with a pain he never felt with anything else. When he took interest in a woman, she becomes the center of his world the longer he is with her. Most of the time, however, they never stay too long. It could be a day or a night, or a few days if he was lucky, but the last long-term relationship he had, crushed his soul. Time went by and healed those wounds, but he couldn’t let anyone get too close, no matter how much he wanted to be invested. But when you came into his life, something shifted. He immediately took a liking to you but he wasn’t sure how far he could go. As time went on, and he knew you were sticking around, he allowed himself to go there. He allowed those feelings he knew too well, to flourish within his heart, and it was strange to him, but he liked it. When he found out the feelings were mutual, it did something in him he wasn’t used to; it made him happy. Sure, he’s been happy before, but he had a lot riding on a possibility and if he played his cards right, it could be extraordinary. And it has been. It all started slow, a snail’s pace really, but you couldn’t blame him. If you had been hurt and uncertain as often as he was, you would take everything slow too. That’s why lying to him now, was killing you on the inside. He didn’t deserve it but you knew what kind of man he was and you knew how he felt about certain things.

The library was quiet, so you could be alone with the screaming in your head. You fought with yourself constantly whether, to be honest, or not. Your biggest secret was a huge part of who you were. Adoration for the TV show, Supernatural, was an understatement; you LOVED it! But, hearing the stories from Sam and Dean about when they were stuck in another universe where there were people who act like them, you knew it was unmentionable. Social media was your avenue to let out all your thoughts and ideas with people who shared the same love. No one knew that you lived with the Winchesters, or that they were even real, but that made it more alluring to you. Sitting at the table with your laptop open, you scroll through different comments left by other fans of the show. They were seeing what you were living and that was the most rewarding secret you kept. Pulling the new locket out of your shirt, the words Sam Girl, engraved on the top. Opening it, the anti-possession symbol sat on one side, and a picture of Sam on the other. You run your thumb over the picture, knowing that he was yours, but kept it hidden from him. You owned a plethora of shirts, hats, jewelry, notebooks, and so many other merchandises, that you were quite proud of. You even had a successful blog that was dedicated to the show and the characters, and your imagination with fanfiction. All things you knew Sam would disapprove of. You began writing out your reactions to different videos or events that happened in, not just the Supernatural world, but other fandoms as well.

“Hey, there’s my girl. I was wondering what happened to you,” says Sam. He smiles his small, one-sided grin at you, and sits in a chair to your left.

“Hi, sorry, I got busy writing and I guess I lost track of time,” you admit, closing out your Internet tab and leaving your screen on the cute photo of you and him on your wallpaper.

“You always do,” he chuckles and takes one of your hands. Sam knew about your love of writing and only a few of the topics you wrote about. You laugh along with him, blushing at the fact he knew you so well.

“The life of a writer, baby!” You say, confident in your work, but seeing the look on Sam’s face, quickly changed the mood.

“Where did that come from?” He asks, looking at the chain that hung from your neck. Looking down, you noticed the locket had made its way out of your shirt.

“Oh, that’s nothing!” Grabbing at it and tucking it back in your shirt, you try to advert Sam’s curiosity but that fails.

“Oh, come on, Y/N, let me see it. It looked beautiful.” He comments but you deny him.

“Sorry, but it’s fallen into my bra now,” you say, hoping that would end the conversation but the Winchester Brothers were both very stubborn.

“Don’t think I’m afraid to go in there.” Slight darkness fogged over the normal brightness of his eyes, but it left just as fast as it showed.

“Honestly Sam, it’s nothing. Trust me, you don’t want to know what it is.”

“Trust me y/n, I do want to know. My girlfriend suddenly has a locket I’ve never seen before and won’t show me? I have to wonder if her other boyfriend gave it to her.

You deadpan to him, giving your best bitch face, and he just laughs.

“I’m kidding, but seriously, I want to see it.”

“You didn’t move at first, so he stood up and leaned over to reach in your shirt, but you backed away before he could get there.

“Fine,” you grumble, unclasping the necklace from the back and hand it over.

He seems satisfied that he won this battle, flipping the locket around in his larger than average hands. His eyebrows knitted together, in the cutest look of wonder, like he was a child with a new toy. He opened it, stared down at it for a minute, then handed it back to you.

“You have a locket with a picture of me, which I guess is normal in relationships, but why does it say Sam Girl on the top?” He looked at you quizzically, wanting to know more.

This was it, the time you were dreading the most, but you couldn’t do it anymore; you couldn’t keep lying to him. You prepared yourself for a long discussion and a lot of disgust from him, so you sat back in your chair.

“Sam, I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

“Oh, okay,” he sits back in his seat, eyes glossed with worry and locked on you.

“I’m a Sam girl. I watch that TV show about you and Dean and your lives; I’m a big fan of it. We have, the fans, what are called someone’s girl. Like me, I’m a Sam girl, so I tell other people how I feel about you , what you say and do, and I talk about my romantic feelings towards you. Well, you on this show; it’s a little different.”

Sam had kept quiet the whole time you explained your secret and he held no emotions. You didn’t know what was going through his head, but it couldn’t be good.

“You like that show about our lives from that other universe?” He asks, suddenly breaking the silence.

“Yes,” you answer, hoping he wouldn’t explode at any given point.

“And you didn’t want to tell me about it?” He then looks to you with his infamous puppy dog eyes, wondering why you kept something like this from him.

Taken aback by his calmness, you continue to explain. “Well, I heard the stories of when you went to that other world and how much it freaked you and Dean out, so I thought you would disown me or something if I was into it.”

“Why would I do that?” Sam asks, sadness now forming across his features.

“Because I like something you make fun of! I thought you would make fun of me for what I do. I’m in the whole fandom, Sam! The show, the merchandise, the fanfiction, the blogs; everything!”

That sparked his interest again. “You write fanfiction?” His tone got more questioningly, but you took it as he was going to lay on the mockery.

“Yes, but I swear it’s nothing like some of the stories people write about! It’s actually all clean and sweet. I write about our dates and my feelings, but play it off as fiction.”

Then, his face melted into a smile (GIF), that childlike wonder again. “You write about us?”

“Yeah, I do. And people like it.”

“They do?” He’s surprised now, telling by how high his eyebrows are raised on his face.

“Everyone thinks you’re romantic and that you’re the best boyfriend, but the best part about it, it’s all true,” you smile, but hide it from wandering eyes.

“That’s… sweet,” he comments, stunning you.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I love that you write about us. I think it’s great that you are proud of our relationship and it makes me proud of it too, especially considering other people think I’m pretty great.” He has a little smirk playing on his lips; he’s going to brag about this to Dean later.

“So, you’re okay with all this?” You start to creep a little further into his level of positivity from this topic.

“Surprisingly I am, and I love that you’re showing off that you’re mine,” he pecks your lips before asking another question.

“Wait, are there more of these lockets?”

“Yes, and there’s some that say Dean girl. The same concept,” you comment like it’s nothing but it’s a big deal to Sam.

“There are Dean girls, too?!”

“And there are Castiel girls too, and even some of the other people you guys have met in life, but mainly you three.”

“Oh my God, wait until Dean and Cas hear about this!” Sam was set on telling his brother and his friend; the worst thing you could think of.

“No, please don’t!” Panic set inside you. Telling Sam was one thing but Dean was another.

“Why not?”

“Because Dean won’t be so nice about this. He will mock and ridicule me so much for this. He’s way more opinionated and harsher than you are.”

He thought about it for a minute but knew you were right. Sometimes, his older brother would take things too far, to the point of hurting those he cared about, and Sam couldn’t let that happen to you.

“You’re right, he definitely will freak out over this. He’s way more headstrong about what he doesn’t like. Alright, I won’t tell him and Cas? Well, he’s gotten a lot better with human interactions but, we wouldn’t want to throw him for a loop again,” Sam laughed at confusing the angel with more human things, like when he first came to earth.

“Thank you, Sam,” You say, going to hug him.

“Of course, no one is going to hurt my girl, not even me. But uh, y/n, we need to get you another locket,” he says taking the locket in his fingers again.

“Why? I like it and I paid good money for it,” you take it back and drop it in your shirt.

“Well, there are more of these lockets out there so that means other girls are walking around with a picture of me around their necks. It’s not okay that yours is like everyone else’s, so I’m going to make a special one that I will have engraved with a message from me that’s just to you; my girl,” he whispers the last part right in your ear, electrifying chills through you.

“O-okay.” You stutter out as Sam goes fishing for your locket from the bottom up.

Second A/N: When I was looking for that GIF of Sam, ‘Sexy Back’ started playing; it was perfect!

Tag list: @fandom-princess-forevermore @tloveswriting @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @simpleb00x @67-chevy-baby @grace15ella @marvelfansworld @austin-winchester67 @pecu-1-iar-lester @irn-dad @trippin-over-my-fandoms @randomwriter23 @cuddyclothes @meilynnotmailyn @lilulo-12 @lillysilverus @mereka18 @jackofalltrades1937 @samfcknwin @thegirlwidabook @cutesymrsinuyashagamer @emowolf227 @littlesunshinesammy

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dr-who-said-lgbtq-rights · 3 years

Text

i, a fan of superwholock, dissect and give my opinion on the individual shows

idk i thought this would be fun and i currently have 4-5 hours to kill soooo

let’s start with

doctor who

(only new who. i have not seen the older stuff :( )

k. so. i have been a fan of this since i was pretty young. honestly i think i was a little too young to be watching it when my mom first showed me it but that’s beside the point. basically: i really like dr who

this is probably the best show out of superwholock, both in my opinion and in general. however... i am going to be nitpicky bc why not

1. the canon.

(yes the example is abt a dr who episode)

in short, the canon is comprised of a) retcons and b) contradictions. im not an avid follower of canon with any media but good god nobody can keep up with dr who canon

(i am blaming moffat bc i hate him and i think a lot of it is his fault anyway)

2. representation

honestly, the representation isn’t bad. however, i would describe it less as “good” and more as “a good starting point.”

for example, there is quite a bit of queer rep, POC rep, and a lot of characters are women. however, while this is nice, the show could still use a lot more rep, and the rep it has currently should probably be improved upon (for example: jack harkness is NOT straight, but he falls under the “multi-spec person wants to screw everyone” stereotype (i have not seen torchwood so this may be amended in that i just needed an example off the top of my head)).

3. story

some people yearn for romance. i yearn for the days when the doc would take their companion to some party, flirt with a tree, the companion almost dies while britney spears is playing in the background, etc. etc.

basically, the story starts out nice. just a bunch of goofing off, maybe a “big deal” thing here and there. life was fun.

then, the story changes. (this happened specifically from eleven onward, so yeah you can bet your ass im blaming moffat ‘cuz it’s his fault) things gradually became less fun. conspiracies ran amok; just when you thought it was over, turns out there’s an even bigger part of this plan that what you just defeated. the doc actually started caring about the timeline (what happened to time being wibbly wobbly?) sure, there are still fun episodes where the doc and the companion(s) go out for funsies but it’s just not the same as it was.

4. morals

morals are good. basically:

you can have a dark past but still have a bright future, and

be kind

bonus 5. cowardice

at least one of the doctors played by one of the male actors should have worn a dress. there were plenty of opportunities but noooooo there’s a gender binary or something (like,,, they’re an alien????? if gender on gallifrey is the same as gender on earth i am going to fly to britain and drop kick some writers)

OVERALL

needs work, but p good and enjoyable.

~~~

now it’s time for

sherlock

just. um. ohhh boy. basically

but i am going to do my best

1. representation

eugh. representation was baaaad in this. like, i think the only POC in the entire show that had any significance were the Chinese gang members and that is like,,, incredibly poor rep. i think the innkeepers in thob were gay but that’s as far as queer rep goes. there were a few women, i would die for all of them, we need more women. also the “im a high functioning sociopath” line makes me cringe everytime

basically this show had shit representation

2. john

okee he’s a great character right??? the common sense of the operation right??? wrong

he cheated on mary??? and we don’t address it like,,, at all??? it made me so fucking mad.

(again fuck you moffat and gatiss probably had something to do with it too so im mad at him as well)

3. sherlock

classic “let’s make him a bitch” mistake. needs the stick surgically removed from his ass

4. story

story’s actually not that bad. it’s not like, great or anything but i enjoy it

bonus 5. ending

i just want to address it. i think the ending was p good and yall tjlc-ers are just upset that they didn’t bang or anything. they’re literally living in the same [two-room] flat??? and they’re raising rosie???? TOGETHER???? like what more do you want

anyway sherlock’s ace soooo

OVERALL

eh. needs LOTS of work. i love mrs hudson tho, she’s beautiful

~~~

and finally

supernatural

ohohoh. boooyyyy.

(plz forgive me this is so shitty but i threw it together in like,,, a minute)

1. story

aight so the first five seasons? p good. not much to say there

the other ten? the skill level of the writing went wayyyyyy down but i still enjoyed it

2. representation

this show is notorious for bad rep and for good reason. kevin, our beloved prophet and the only recurring asian-american character? dead. charlie, so nerdy and fun and also a lesbian? dead. castiel, the angel who was totally gay? dead. basically: if you find yourself in spn and you are not a straight white man, etc etc, you are going to a) die or b) die but in a worse way

3. mythology/treatment of religions

okay so. a while back i had a wicca/witchcraft hyperfixation which was closely followed by a general pagan religions hyperfixation, so i know some stuff here and there abt religions.

and good golly does this show make me MAD

why is christianity the central and most powerful religion? (i know why, it’s a rhetorical question) why do you demonize the other religions?? (again it’s rhetorical)

one thing that really annoys me is when they say something is a “pagan god.” like,,, do you know how many gods that contains??? if you didn’t know, a religion is considered pagan if it isn’t under the abrahamic religions umbrella. what are the abrahamic religions, you ask? well, they are christianity, judaism, and islam. literally every other religion ever is a pagan religion. so, when they say “it’s a pagan god,” i cry.

back to demonizing... they literally made a greek muse eat someone. my greek mythology phase ended a long time ago and i didn’t really get into the muses but i am p sure they didn’t eat people. also the fact that it makes hoodoo look dark and stuff when it’s actually more abt peace and healing... i bet ten dollars it’s because hoodoo was created by enslaved african americans

there are so many examples of this show disrespecting religions... i just can’t

4. general notes

(for you himym fans: *saluting* general notes) (sorry i couldn’t resist)

-the filler episodes/episodes where random shit happened were the best

-the finale memes are *chef’s kiss*

-god there’s so much abt this show that i can’t even choose bc my brain is overloading

-am i glad amara wasn’t ganked at the end of s11? yes. am i happy about the dean/amara kiss? gods no

-john winchester 🤝 steven moffat: getting a spot on my “fuck you” list

OVERALL

there is just. so much improvement needed. however if there is an absolute shit show with likeable characters i tend to gravitate to it

~~~

and for funsies let’s talk abt superwholock as a whole

-honestly im a sucker for crossover fandoms. if you scroll far enough on my blog you may find my rotbtd fanart.

-it’s honestly just a fun idea

-there’s a lot of ways you could make it happen and all of them are fun

-great opportunities for rarepairs so rare no crackshipper has thought of it

~~~

aight that’s it. thank you for reading! if you have any questions abt my opinions abt other aspects of the shows just ask, i like talking abt this

#dr-who-said... something #as a side note: if you wanna hear abt pagan religions just ask #i may not be fixated on it anymore but i still find them interesting #superwholock

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airenyah · 4 years

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just watched that episode 'the song remains the same' and honestly I have a few things, imagine if Anna actually called Cas rather than Uriel, what are the implications of that happening and that would have played out very differently, also makes me sad because in classic spn (s1-5) Dean got the ending he wanted (yes I ship destiel as the next person but at that time, he was a different person from s10 (where I stopped watching - I can't say for s15, but judging on here he's a very 1/?

person as well). And then in s15 (which I've only seen the last episode of) he dies, and it's like - the whole point of his character was to survive and to live the apple pie life, like at the end of the day THAT IS WHO HE IS. Anyhow it makes me sad that when I watch s15 for the first time (I'll stop at Misha's physical last episode) that he didn't get that. That's why I feel for long term Dean fans because that was what happened, and I don't understand how even Kripke thought it was a good 2/?

idea considering he gave him a happy ending in s5. 3/3

ohhhh wait, are we talking anna calling present time!cas or 1978!cas? because if i remember correctly (sorry i didn’t bother rewatching the ep for this ask) anna calls uriel and asks him to kill the winchesters, right? and i think it’s fairly obvious that present!cas would absolutely not have gone through with that, buuuuut 1978!cas however.... 1978!cas who didn’t know the winchesters, didn’t know dean yet.... now THAT’s raises an interesting question 🤔

re: and it's like - the whole point of his character was to survive and to live the apple pie life

my god YES!!!! the other day i was rewatching 8x14 and there is this whole bit:

Dean: We've been down roads like this before, man – with Yellow-Eyes, Lucifer, Dick friggin' Roman. We both know where this ends – one of us dies... Or worse.

Sam: So, what – you just up and decided it's gonna be you?

Dean: I'm a grunt, Sam. You're not. You've always been the brains of this operation.

Sam: Dean—

Dean: And you told me yourself that you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know – it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get. So I'm gonna do these trials. I'm gonna do them alone – end of story. You're staying here. I'm going out there. If landshark comes knocking, you call me. If you try to follow me, I'm gonna put a bullet in your damn leg.

and it’s just. so goddamn infuriating in the light of the finale. tell me, does this not demand that he does in fact find a light at the end of the tunnel? you’d expect a character who constantly goes on about how they’re gonna go out guns blazing, who doesn’t see any value in themselves, who doesn’t think they deserve to be saved,... you’d think the whole point of a character like that would be the growth that comes from realizing that they actually do have value and that their life is worth living. and for dean that would be especially after they defeated chuck. but oh wait--, this is supernatural where we can’t have nice things, right (character development? what’s that?)

i can’t say much post S9 because i haven’t watched S10-13 since they aired and while i did catch up on the last two seasons over the past year, they didn’t really stick in my memory (apart from the final 3 eps) soooo i don’t remember much buuuut there was this in 13x23:

Dean: Hey, you remember... remember when you asked if we could stop it? All the evil in the world?

Sam: Yeah.

Dean: If we could... really change things? Well, maybe with Jack, we can.

Sam: Maybe you're right. But then what will we do?

Dean: Mm. Yeah. This. (holds up a beer) A whole lot of this. But on a beach somewhere, you know? Can you imagine? You, me, Cas, toes in the sand, couple of them little umbrella drinks. Matching Hawaiian shirts, obviously. Some hula girls.

Sam: You talking about retiring? You?

Dean: If I knew the world was safe? Hell, yeah. And you know why? 'Cause we freaking earned it, man.

and i think there might have been some more scenes where dean expresses similar sentiments (like the one from 10x16 in the confession booth about not wanting to die and wanting to experience things differently or for the first time)? i don’t really remember, i’ll know once I get there on my big spn rewatch I’m currently doing. and it’s just. how does it make any sense for the show to end with dean not getting to finally find happiness in life on earth and grow old. i don’t understand.

although i’m not sure i agree with you on the s5 ending being a happy ending for dean. i think it’s more bittersweet than happy. i mean, yes, dean does tell lisa that the happiness he pictures includes her, but we also learn this in chuck’s voice-over at the end of swan song:

Chuck: Every part of him, every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back. But he isn't gonna do either. Because he made a promise.

he’s outright suicidal after sam jumps into the cage. and honestly, i’m not entirely sure if dean actually would have showed up at lisa’s door if sam hadn’t made him promise. this bit from 6x01 also reinforces that for me:

Bobby: [Y]ou got out, Dean! You walked away from the life. And I was so damn grateful, you got no idea.

Dean: Do you have any clue what walking away meant for me?

Bobby: Yeah -- a woman and a kid and not getting your guts ripped out at age 30. That's what it meant.

Dean: That woman and that kid -- I went to them because you asked me to.

Bobby: Good.

Dean: Good for who? I showed up on their doorstep half out of my head with grief. God knows why they even let me in. I drank too much. I had nightmares. I looked everywhere. I collected hundreds of books, trying to find anything to bust you out.

yes, i think dean liked lisa enough and i don’t think he necessarily minded staying with her but i also think he was more drawn to the idea and the apple pie life that she represented. the “getting out” of the life. but dean hates getting non-hunters involved in the life and he also hates himself and the mess he is so i think dean might have wanted to spare lisa the trouble and would probably have stayed away if sam hadn’t asked him to go find her

#alright i'm done now before i get too angry about the finale again bye #also i think i'll stop my rewatch at 15.18 as well #and just go read fix-it fics instead lol #gotta curate the secret good spn that lives in my head #spn #dean winchester #5.13 #8.14 #13.23 #dean x lisa #dean deserved better #does this count as meta? lol #asks #airenyah plappert #danieljlevy #just in case:#suicide tw #(is that how one correctly tags triggers? lmk pls)

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naruhearts · 5 years

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Do you think that Dean and Cas will finally have a heart to heart conversation this season that has a beginning, middle, and end without being interrupted? Where they finally get to talk about everything and mend the rift between them? I really hope so

2/2 I’m the heart to heart anon! Like I would love if there was a moment where someone sat them down to air their grievances the way Sam and Dean did for Chuck and Lucifer in s11, bc it actually worked and was incredibly promising

HI nonnie!!

I’m on the run and have a busy Canadian thanksgiving dinner to get to (and I’ll most likely add to this once I have time), but WHAT A GREAT QUESTION, because frankly, this is what we’ve been anticipating for…a while.

We’ve seen 15x01. The rift between Dean and Cas = NECESSARY spousal discord. Dabb & Co know what they’re doing here, and pretty much most meta writers in the Destiel community gleefully watched the EVER-heightening intensity of D/C’s romance-coded arguments unfold in their conjoined emotional arc for the better part of 11 years!! Dabb era, dudes. Family struggles. DEEP EMOTIONAL BONDS, frayed, to be repaired in the endgame.

English 101: writing an external conflict between two characters can inherently convey INTERNAL CONFLICT — character vs the self, thus introducing significant elements of character development and self-reflection that two characters, intentionally written as romantic star-crossed counterparts to each other, will think about, then either NOT act on or WILL act on.

In short, the metanarrative focus on Dean and Cas fighting means they’re gonna need to RESOLVE it, and exactly, anon – since it’s the final story countdown, this also means there should be a subversion of every other instance in which they’ve almost hashed things out but were: A. always interrupted, B. gave outside forces priority, not their interpersonal relationship, or C. just plain ol’ avoiding addressing it.

HOW MANY TIMES CAN THEY SURVIVE THAT? How many times can we survive the drawing-out of WILL THEY WON’T THEY/USING THEIR WORDS?

Lemme tell ya, I do believe we’re going to see the D/C narrative focus grow more potent the closer we get to 15x20, if not earlier. Again, PR isn’t showrunning, but Jensen and Misha are fully aware and informed of their roles as Dean and Cas; they know their tension is a key emotional plot point driving the physical plot, always has been. I mean, it’s already amplified, right in the first episode of the final season!!

After finding out that God is the Big Bad, Dean and Cas must re-evaluate everything they thought they knew about themselves and each other. Again, did they inadvertently play into God’s Angst Plot for them? Did they think they were saving the world on their own terms of free will when in fact, God wanted them to do exactly that – to ignore their self-consciousness and each other’s emotional needs in the process?? *rips hair out*

Keeping up the awfully sad vibe of arguing ex-husbands a la 14x17/18/19/20, Sam continues to represent all of us. Currently, we don’t see any resolution in sight; once S14 came to a close, they were still clashing. The negative spaces are NOISY! Once again, D/C = divorcees at odds, with what looks like irreconcilable differences. Sigh.

It’s the classic trope of setting aside personal conflict to get the important crap done, yet not realizing that personal conflict is inevitably going to implode.

To get on the same page, Dean and Cas’ preconceived notions of FREE WILL must be challenged, and true free will –> LOVE. God couldn’t control the existence of love...the most powerful force in the world. The ultimate manifestation of free will. TFW threw a wrench into His plans when Dean, out of LOVE, refused to shoot his son, Isaac-mirror Jack – when Cas, out of LOVE, also raised Jack as his own humanized child alongside psychologically nurturing him with Dean – when Sam, out of LOVE, chose to be his teacher in the ways of survival and human difficulty.

TFW singularly chose to destroy God’s script when they started loving the Nephilim, the TFW mirror, God’s OG Big Bad for his cut-and-paste SPN series of The Winchester Brothers and the Angel Castiel: Same Mistakes Never Learned.

*Back to the point, sorry I went on a whole TFW-lovey-dovey tangent there lol – YEAH, I hope and expect that Dean and Cas will engage in a genuine heart to heart without interruptions, where they no longer let God perch on their shoulders. It’s time for them to set their cards on the table. It’s time for them to USE THEIR WORDS.

Romantic or not (lbr a non-romantic resolution –> greatest cop-out for a 15-year iconic institution, because why even implement consistent, constant tropes of a damn non-platonic nature without any proper follow-through, even in subtext?!), the fact remains that Dean and Cas are longggg overdue for a discussion – a deconstruction of their tension, clearing the air of ALL the stuff they’ve hidden from each other, and with bated breath, I wait.

(The visual D/C narrative also holds: they stand as a unit together, Sam positioned apart from them. Like, we been knew.) *trots around in clown mask*

Seriously. I’m Destiel-positive so far. 15x01 simply strengthened my (cautious) optimism. If you want to read more about the D/C rift, with Jack at the core of it all (oh man, how fitting that Belphegor, who’s taking up Jack’s image by possessing his body – and remember, Jack was the catalyst for both heavily marital-code unity and conflict in Dean and Cas’ relationship – will seemingly take over Jack’s role as metanarrative exposition/mirror for now), I wrote these late S14/beginning of the last hiatus (below), plus x x

I discuss the Dean/Cas argument here, here and here – it’s both a break-up and argument entrenched in parental mistakes, self-guilt, and their ultimate bond with/trust in each other (particularly in relation to Jack, their subtextual son), where the lying and the dishonesty (a redux of S5/6 and S12) are combined spiral narratives of their relationship that they eventually have to break together. COMMUNICATE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE

I’ll emphasize this again too – still highly relevant lol (14x18):

Cas is telling himself: if I was completely honest with my husband, without holding back, we could’ve been able to avoid this. I wasn’t honest because I knew how much Jack meant to us. I was 😨. I did it for myself…I did it for Dean.

Dean is telling himself: I dunno, why am I taking my husband’s dishonesty so hard? Because I 😍 him a lot, and I 😍 my son. I trusted Cas to be honest with me. We could’ve worked together. But, 💩, I guess I wasn’t as open with him as I was supposed to be…about what I wanted, and what I felt.

Me: *slaps notebook closed* *coughs* Uh, it’s a — really long — work in progress. KEEP TALKING.

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taurnachardhin · 4 years

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SUPERNATURAL JUST LET ME LIVE.

See this is why I can't watch this show!! It's too personal! I get too hecking invested!! I want to return to my OTHER hyperfixations and come back to spn LATER but apparently I can't until I've written every possible better ending than the actual finale.

Today's edition: the best possible version the CW might hypothetically have let us see on air, based on the vague details I’ve seen so far about the "pre-covid" version of the script and my general healthy cynicism of what the network would permit.

Not bothering to write this as an actual fic because again I say an ending where Dean doesn't get to grow old is inherently garbage and I won't allow it and I won't try to rationalize it any more but like, in a universe where Dean still dies but the network doesn't COMPLETELY axe the Dean/Cas subplot, this is what I imagine is the closest we'd have gotten to canon:

The first 3/4 of the episode are basically the same, with the exception that when Sam brings up Cas at the pie festival, after Dean says “yeah I think about them too,” Dean STARTS to deflect, and then STOPS himself, because character growth. He tells Sam that before Cas died, Cas told him he loved him. And Sam at first just sort of nods sympathetically, because yeah, of course he does, we know this. But then he processes the haunted look on Dean’s face and goes, “Oh. Ohh. Okay.” And then like, very carefully and gently, “...What did you say?” and Dean says, “I didn’t get to say anything. That was right when the Empty took him.” And Sam, you know. He knows what it is Dean isn’t saying. He says, “Dean, I’m so sorry.” And at that point Dean, as far as he is concerned has basically just come out to his brother and he’s like ok end of conversation, “Anyway, pie.” Sam still pies him in the face to lighten the mood.

Later, Dean arrives in heaven, shocked, numb. It’s dark outside. He’s in the middle of a dirt road in a forest that stretches into the distance. The Impala is parked beside him. On autopilot almost, he opens the door and sits down behind the wheel. He starts crying. He told Sam “it was supposed to end like this” but it wasn’t. Not anymore. It’s stupid and it isn’t fair. After a minute, he recovers a bit, wipes the tears away, turns the key in the ignition. “Dean’s Theme” starts playing as he silently drives down the road. He pulls to a stop outside the Roadhouse.

The outside is eerily empty, and maybe he's thinking he remembers this part of heaven from "Dark Side of the Moon." He looks a little resigned, but maybe a little curious, and opens the door. At once, he’s greeted with warmth and light. Instead of just Ash and the Harvelles, the whole gang's there--Bobby, Rufus, Pamela, Charlie, Mary. Not John, because fuck that guy. In the background, you see a band setting up and tuning on the stage. (I know it was supposed to be Kansas, but I think it's actually much cuter if it's the dudes from Kansas, but they're "playing" just a random small-time bar band like they're old friends of Ellen's who used to play the Roadhouse back in the day. Give them a cute in-joke name to go on their drum kit.) Dean is attacked by a million hugs, there's tears all around--someone debriefs him on what the deal with heaven is now, maybe it's still Bobby. Maybe it's Mary, actually, and she's the one who tells him Cas was involved with it, and gives him the significant eyebrow-raise. Charlie, standing just behind Mary, makes eye contact with Dean and then nods eagerly toward the door. (A brief but significant wlw/mlm solidarity moment and a nice way of acknowledging the role of queer female fans in this moment being allowed to exist.)

Dean turns around, and sees Cas standing just outside the open door, looking sad and a little nervous. Dean on the other hand, looks ecstatic. He strides across the room and sweeps Cas up in the biggest hug ever. Cas initially can't help but smile but it quickly shifts to O_o like, wait hang on what's happening. Dean sets him down and they stand there out on the porch looking at each other, and Dean holds Cas by the shoulders, and looks serious all of a sudden.

“Cas,” he begins.

"I'm--sorry you're dead," Cas cuts in.

"Well, I'm--glad you're alive," Dean says. "Look, about what you said--"

"It's OK," Cas says quickly. "I told you, I know I can't have--"

"Cas."

"And it's fine, I really don't mind--"

"Cas, would you let me just say something?"

Cas shuts up, looking supremely nervous.

Dean keeps one hand on Cas's shoulder and with the other does that hand gesture like he did when he told Cas, "don't ever change," (it's a visual callback to one of their most iconic moments, and I think one of the earliest moments where they both just looked blatantly adoring at each other, and reminds us that these idiots have been in love since season 5!!) and with that exact same tone, he looks him in the eye and says, "Cas...don't you dare think you can't have what you want."

Cas looks confused, and then hopeful, and then Dean smiles at him, hearteyes to the max, and then suddenly Cas smiles back and they're both tearing up a little, and Cas just says, "Oh."

We cut back to inside the Roadhouse, where the band launches into the opening bars of "Carry On Wayward Son." Back outside, Dean looks up excitedly and does his "I love this song" line. Then he looks back at Cas and with the same cheesy-flirty grin he gave Cas when he rolled up at the Gas-n-Sip and asked for beef jerky and a pack of menthols, he holds out his arm for Cas to take, and raises his eyebrows. Cas looks at it and doesn't know what this means. He gives Dean that confused, squinty face, then hesitantly holds his arm up the same way and bumps Dean's elbow. (Does he really not know what Dean meant, or is he just playing dumb for old times' sake because he secretly knows that Dean thinks it's cute? You decide.) Dean's face is delighted, full of "yes yes yes this is my socially awkward angel whom I love" and instead just grabs his arm and drags him inside.

Cut to Sam growing old montage, only Eileen is there and we see the two of them and their kid doing like, ANYTHING meaningful and unique to show they aren't just living a cookie cutter suburban nuclear family life. THEY'RE LIVING IN THE BUNKER, ASSHOLES. LITERALLY WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE SUCH AN AWESOME PLACE WHERE YOU MYSTERIOUSLY DON’T OWE RENT OR UTILITIES. (On reflection, this is maybe the actual most confusing thing that happened in that episode.) With this rousing, live version of "Carry On," we get the sense that Sam was able to live a life of joy and energy instead of just melancholy emptiness with his generic son and blurry, faceless wife. Intercut with Sam's life, we catch glimpses of Dean and Cas sort of slo-mo-ing through the bar, being welcomed back by everyone as people start dancing. Every time we cut back to it there are more people there--Jody, Donna, Garth...Eileen shows up in the crowd towards the end so we know she gets to be in heaven with them, too, and she surreptitiously signs "congratulations" to Dean. After Eileen appears, any time you see the lead vocalist (could they have gotten Steve Walsh out of retirement for this??), he's signing the lyrics as well as singing. Sam dies of old man disease, and we cut back to the interior of the Roadhouse on the song's bridge, where we see everyone dancing, and Dean and Cas are now awkwardly but happily dancing together. Maybe they're not even quite dancing, just like, swaying with one arm around the other. Depends on what they'll let us get away with.

As the song hits "now your life's no longer empty / surely heaven waits for you," Dean instinctively looks away from Cas up at the doorway again, and now it's Sam standing there. He takes in Dean and Cas and gives them a snarky little brother "finally" look. Dean sort of shrugs and grins and Sam comes toward them. Dean and Cas part so the bros can hug while Cas and the others look on happily. Dean then pulls Cas in so he has an arm around both of them, and Sam gives Cas a little knowing nod like "nice" and Cas looks validated. Eileen approaches and she and Sam are reunited. Dean has most of the people he loves under one roof and he and Cas are in love and he really has never been this happy. As the band jams to the finish, we get an external shot of Roadhouse that shows the natural beauty around it, throw in a cheesy sunrise! Because symbolism, and why not!! End.

I would have cried, y'all! Even though it's a cheesefest I would have been a whole sucker for it! No matter how much I hated Dean's death, I would have found that really affecting and not felt entirely cheated. The treatment of the destiel narrative might have still felt like a cop out to some people since it arguably would have still remained subtext, but at least an effort was MADE in a way that validates the fans and respects the characters’ journeys. It would have felt more in character for Dean than the ~huh, cool~ response we got from the man who just a week ago sprinted up 3 flights of stairs because he thought Cas was there, and the week before that was audibly weeping over Cas's death. It gives us a solid promise that even though Dean is still awkward and repressed af, he is going to tell Cas he loves him with his actual words someday. We get to see Cas see that, to understand that his love is not unrequited even if Dean is gonna need a minute. We get to see all THREE of them be complete, three-dimensional people instead of a hollow shell that only cares about his car and his brother, a hollow shell that only cares about his brother and his son whom he named after his brother, and uh, absent. This version still very much centers just the brothers for most of the episode, and gives them their reunion hug at the end, just not in a way that makes it look like literally no one else exists or matters in the same universe as them.

(Where is Jack? Since I'm a little behind I don't have a solid idea of where he fits in at the end, but I kind of like the image of getting a cameo of him behind the bar. Maybe his new Aunt Jo is teaching him how to mix drinks. I like to imagine most people don't know that the cheerful, baby-faced bartender who shows up at the Roadhouse now and then is actually God and not just another rando the Winchesters adopted into their family.)

#I AM A WOMAN POSSESSED #spn #finale fix-it take 2 #dean x cas #spn wank//#spn negativity//#sorry everyone i'm gonna get it all out of my system eventually #spn junk box

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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All this talk about music we want to hear before the show ends makes me brave enough to share my wishes. I have two: for Louden Swain and Jason Manns to appear on camera as a thank you to being so integral for so many years at the cons. Could even be a cameo like playing in the background at a bar, but I would love for them to have the recognition for their dedication to the fans within canon. Jason was briefly heard but not seen. 1/2

2/2 The other thank you that I feel deserves appropriate recognition is Kansas. The show turned Carry On Wayward Son into its anthem and no doubt stimulated wider interest for the band to new generations of viewers. I would LOVE to see them perform the last time we will hear the song during the final series episode when they recap what transpired, maybe even what transpired for the entire series. Like the special version with the school girls singing it for the 200th. Maybe someone can do it!Actually 3/3. For Louden Swain, since Rob is busy being Chuck, it could be fun to have Chuck play with Billy, Mike and Stephen since Chuck/Rob has been seen playing guitar within canon so they could be characters or Jason can be their frontman for the show instead of Rob. Anyway, just putting it out there that I think it would be awesome to honor these musicians (LS, JM, & Kansas) who have been connected to the show all these years by having them appear on screen. :)Ok 4/4! For Kansas, they already did an amazing SDCC performance for the fandom so the show has involved them. Having them on film as part of the permanent record for the history of the show would be phenomenal! Ok, those are my SPN musical musings, thank you!

***

Hi hi! This is actually a really good idea...

I think they need to have Chuck and the Swaingels leave to go on the interdimensional apology tour, where Chuck flaps off with his band to bring peace and music to every universe he’s fucked up. Like, can you see them playing for the giant troll in the Bad Place universe? or performing for a stadium full of squirrels? Yeah, that would be good. Plus I think that would also make Scout some sort of legit prophet, right? I say so, anyway.

As for Jason Manns, in addition to his music playing in 4.01 on Sam’s ipod in the Impala, he got a visual shoutout in 13.11. “Manny’s Truck Stop” had a malfunctioning letter:

But yeah, it would be awesome if he got to actually perform on the show, too.

And Kansas... wow... wouldn’t that be amazing, if they performed the final Carry On Wayward Son? I don’t know how they’d make that work, since there’s probably gonna be a LOT of montage to cover recapping the entire series as well as the important stuff going into the final episode, but it would definitely be amazing to include the band somehow, after everything their song has come to mean to the fandom. But again, the song will always be iconically associated with Supernatural, and it’s kind of amazing how supportive Kansas is of the fandom and the show, too. :’D

#spn s15 wishlist #spn music #Anonymous

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nerdylittleshit · 5 years

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Thoughts about Spn 15x04

BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!

That was… pretty dark. And unexpected. Unexpectedly dark. I mean I liked the episode for the most part, but it also felt like somebody kicked me. Several times. The actual monster-of-the-week part is… there. It gets interesting in the way that it responds to the characters and the other plot of the episode, Chuck and Becky. Of course Supernatural has long since given up to be pretend there is a fourth wall, so we are meant to see the interactions between Chuck and Becky as those of the Supernatural writers vs the audience. And I really can’t think of any other show that is as self-aware as Supernatural is and who puts that in the actual text of the show. Apart from the paranoid feeling that the creators of Supernatural read all of our Tumblrs, Twitters, etc, it feels much more like a dialogue between creator and audience. But unlike Chuck I would say that the actual creators of Supernatural do listen and care about what the fans have to say. Just like last week’s episode break up between Dean and Cas made me hopeful about their ending, this week’s darker elements made me hopeful about the show’s end. It’s always darkest before the dawn. Where we are now is not where we will end.

But, as always, let’s take a closer look.

“You don’t have children, do you?”

So, let’s start with talking about the atomic monsters of the episode, family Whitman. The Superwiki suggested that the title of the episode might refer to the nuclear family the episode centers around. They are monsters in their own way, not just because Billy was turned into a vampire, but because of the things his parents to do for him. Sam is self-aware enough to admit that they would have done the same for Jack (and for each other) and we have the situation from 14x20 mirrored here in this episode. A child kneeling in front of Dean, waiting to be executed because they turned into a monster. The outcome of course is different; Dean couldn’t kill his own son, couldn’t kill Jack. And I admit I was surprised to see this ending here. I was sure Sam and Dean would have found a different way to deal with Billy, despite him being okay to die, not wanting to kill anybody else. It felt a lot like the black and white morality we saw in the early seasons, where a monster was just that, a monster, with no way to change or redeem themselves. We might come back to this scene later this season: a loved one that asks to be killed, that became a monster, someone who thinks this is the only way to deal with this situation. The outcome though might be different.

Which actually brings us to Sam’s vision at the beginning. I admit at first I thought we saw one of Chuck’s drafts coming to live, reusing an old plotline (Sam’s demon blood addiction). I don’t think this is a vision (because why would Benny be suddenly alive again?) but rather a presentation of Sam’s worst fears. He feels responsible for Rowena’s death and is reminded of everyone else that died because of him (like Jessica). He still feels unclean, still feels he can become evil. Benny wasn’t originally there, Jensen added the character because he liked him so much. But thematically it makes sense: Sam had always been jealous about Benny, so in a dream were his worst nightmares come true of course not only did he turn bad (and killed people he loved like Jody and Bobby) but Dean would abandoned him for Benny. (This is to me another proof that this is not a vision of the future, otherwise the producers would have told Jensen Benny can’t come back for this scene)

And speaking about the future. Sam feels pretty hopeless at the moment. When they started to investigate the case he felt isolated from the normal world, from the seemingly normal family, that is unaware of the horrors Sam and Dean have to deal with every day (while ironically the family was living in their very own horror movie). Sam has given up his dream of living a normal life; “we don’t get normal”. Again, this might mean we get the exact opposite at the show’s end. Supernatural has always played with the idea of the Apple Pie Life, and we saw both Sam and Dean trying to have one and failing at it. In the last seasons however we saw a more balanced approach: they can have a home (the bunker), they can have a family (Cas, Jack, Mary etc), and can still be hunters. Now however their family is either dead or moved on.

And speaking of Cas. Dean, unlike Sam, is more optimistic, falsely believing Chuck is gone and can no longer control them. He says they are free to move on, echoing Cas’s words of moving on, though in a different context. I think that Dean mostly puts on a brave face for Sam; they can’t both be feeling hopeless at the same time, right? But losing Mary, Jack and Cas will leave its trace on Dean as well. He might misinterpret the Cas situation, thinking that now that Cas is free from Chuck’s influence the first thing he does is to leave them. However, as Cas told Dean, he has always been free when it came to his feelings towards the Winchesters. He chose them as his family, that was not Chuck. Right now though he also thinks it is better for everyone to be separated. Dean has to realize that is entirely up to him now to get Cas back.

“It’s awful! Horrible. It’s hopeless.”

Just when we thought we couldn’t hate Chuck anymore he gives us 3000 reasons more (see, I can make Endgame references as well). Through Chuck we meet a character that I honestly didn’t think we would see again (I guess the final season is the opportunity to bring back every character): Becky. Becky had always been the stand-in for the fans, and not a very flattering one. The show has since then done some damage control. Charlie was a very positive image of someone who is a fan (and I would love for ‘our’ Charlie to meet this improved Becky) and so were the girls doing the Supernatural musical. It is ok to be a fan, to be passionate about something. And Becky represent now a different kind of fan: a grown up married woman with children, who dedicates her little free time to her hobby. There is nothing pathetic about her, the show doesn’t make fun of her or portrays her as a psycho. Becky has grown and is at peace with herself. Just like Amara is by the way. And Chuck is used to control the women in his life, be it his sister or his ex-girlfriend, he needs them to boost up his ego. He no longer has power over Amara, but poor Becky is helpless (and I really really hope she gets her revenge).

Becky in this episode functions at the voice of fans. It is interesting that she is neither dependent on Chuck or worships him and his work, but instead she took the thing that she loves and made it her own. She writes (and we acknowledge that fanfiction is writing as well), she creates. It doesn’t matter to her that Chuck stopped writing the Supernatural books or that he dismisses her own work. She isn’t even afraid to tell him off, to criticize his work. Her commentary on his first draft is pretty much a commentary on the episode itself: the stakes are too low, there is no classic rock, nobody even mentions Cas etc. And that is yet another thing: Becky seems to have changed from a Wincest shipper to a Team Free Wil fan. The message here is pretty clear: this is no longer a show just about two brothers and it hasn’t been for a long time. And more so, what the fans are invested in are the characters, not so much the story. We care about Sam, Dean, Cas, Jack, Mary etc. and because we care, the story gets interesting, not the other way around.

Concerning Chuck’s new dark end, there was also something interesting Chuck said: that he knows the ending but doesn’t know how to get there yet. At Chuck being Chuck means he will bend the story in whatever way he can to get, no matter if it makes sense or not. Which is pretty much what the showrunners on Game of Thrones did, a show which ending Chuck thought was great (spoiler: it wasn’t). Chuck also think that the fact that the dark ending is making Becky feel something is a good sign, which yeah… not so much. Of course a story is supposed to make you feel something, and as a Supernatural fans we are familiar with some angst. However a story ending should not make you feel angry or disappointed. In the best way it should always feel that what you see is the natural conclusion of the story you have read/seen, no matter the genre. Supernatural has long since stopped being a tragedy, a dark and hopeless ending seems no longer fitting. But again, as this is where we are now this won’t be where we will end. Chuck is the villain, therefore his ending should not be what we actually get to see.

Also, it is interesting that Becky mentioned that Chuck channelled Sam and Dean’s story. He pretty much wrote down what he saw, unlike Becky who created her own stories. And now Chuck admits that he no longer has this connection: he can no longer see what Sam and Dean are doing (thanks to his weakened status), so at the very moment they are free.

Looking forward to next week. Until then my lovelies <3

#supernatural #spn 15x04 #atomic monsters #spn meta #my meta

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watchingspn-blog · 5 years

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spn rewatch | wendigo

I’m gonna be real upfront right now. This episode scared the piss out of me when I first saw it. I’m sorry but a crazy fast, perfect hunter who can move faster than you can blink and eats human flesh to survive and can mimic a person’s voice to lure you to them?! I WAS TERRIFIED! It didn’t help that I had just moved into our new house, which is on five acres of land with about four of those acres being nothing but woods. But, for real, I know some of the effects aren’t as good as they could be by today’s standards but I actually loved and was terrified of this episode the first time I saw it, which kind of amped up the scary factor from the pilot for me.

Okay, here we go.

So as if we needed to further cement that this is taking place in glorious 2005, you’ve got two guys playing games on their Nintendo DS’s (RIP pre-Glee Cory Monteith, the only person who could’ve competed with Jared vertically) and then Tommy recording a video on his Blackberry, somehow magically having it perfectly level with his face despite not being able to see the screen as he records. Like seriously that’s the supernatural activity they should be investigating.

Okay but so some of the wendio effects later in the episode are not so great but in this first scene, I think they made some pretty solid choices of just relying on the whole concept of “less is more” and giving mostly scary sounds and rustling trees and making you more afraid of what could be in the forest than creating a scary visual to throw at you right off the bat. Solid scary intro scene.

The cemetery scene. Totally classic shoutout to Carrie. I had just gotten into Stephen King when I started watching Supernatural (honestly I was delving into all kinds of horror themed things at the time) and I’d seen Carrie for the first time not too long before this. Which means not only was I super scared by the jump scare (because I’m still jumpy as fuck to this day), I was also SUPER proud of myself for knowing what they were trying to reference there. I definitely thought I was cool for getting that one. Now, not so much. But the scene still makes me jump.

I really do like the ways they’re kind of trying to establish how the brothers care for each other. Like you know right off the bat in the pilot that their relationship is rough at best and that there’s some pretty obvious toxic masculinity on Dean’s part at least but like you can still see that Dean’s concerned. He’s got his own way of showing it but he’s worried about his little brother.

Side note: just remember that they both had a seriously messed up childhood and the fact that either of them are as close to normal as they are is impressive. Like I think all things considered, they’re pretty well adjusted. Kind of.

This episode is kind of outside the norm compared to future episodes with how Sam and Dean both handle the case when they first get to town. The fact that Sam just wants to go straight to the coordinates John left them while Dean’s the one saying “maybe we should do a little research first” is bizarro. But it also kind of helps show just where Sam’s mind is at at this point. He’s not coming to this as a hunter taking on a case, he’s a man with a vendetta and the next step he needs to take is finding John. He’s fueled by anger and grief and guilt and that kind of reflects when he seems less concerned about what’s going on in the woods and more interested in just getting out there ASAP.

Okay, just like they couldn’t pass as US Marshals, the guys seriously do not look like park rangers at all. Like you guys aren’t even trying come on. And good on Haley for being suspicious even if she did seem to buy into their story for a bit.

BABY HAN SOLO!

I totally did not realize that was Alden Ehrenreich playing Ben until I saw his name on screen at the beginning of the episode. He looks so so so young in this ohmygod. Also think I’ll need to keep a list of like all the crazy celeb cameos of people who got famous after being on the show. Or were already famous but I totally forgot popped up.

For our next super underrated guest star scene of the series, Shaw - the old man who’s parents were taken by a “grizzly” back when he was a kiddo in 1959.

Like seriously, it’s one scene but Donnelly Rhodes (RIP) does an amazing job with the scene and like it kind of leaves me with chills whenever he says that whatever it was didn’t break down the door but unlocked it. Like that’s still hella spooky to me. Also, I still don’t totally understand why the wendigo left him behind. Like you’d think for a monster that is going to have a big ass meal before hibernation would want as much meat as possible. Like yeah a little kid wouldn’t much but he’d be something right?

Also that’s a gnarly scar like how did he survive that.

So Dean talks about it being possibly a skinwalker or a black dog but like looking into what those both actually are I honestly don’t understand why he would think that based on what they know about the attacks. Like black dogs are death omens and skinwalkers wouldn’t be able to do the kind of damage that’s being done considering everyone’s just like “oh it’s a grizzly”. So like I dunno, I guess this might’ve been the writers tossing out references to other creatures to make it sound like Dean knows a bunch but like neither of those would be my first guesses for this case.

Kind of just like “early installment weirdness” but whatever. It’s not a big deal, just me nitpicking.

Okay so Roy is kind of a jackass but like he knows what he’s doing for the most part and he totally doesn’t buy the guys story about beng park rangers for one minute. So like I can respect that. And like if it would’ve been an actual animal attacking people, he might’ve survived but oh well.

I do like that Haley just goes ahead and calls bullshit on the park rangers story before they even go on their adventure but Dean’s whole “it's probably the most honest I've ever been with a woman...ever.” is just kind of cringey.

So all the traipsing through the woods and the “I’m smarter than you” staredown between Roy and Sam is not super interesting but I do like that 1 - we get to see Sam being angry and being emotional in a more volatile way because that’s not often the case as the show goes on - and 2 - we get our iconic line of “saving people, hunting things, the family business” and the whole idea that they’re not supposed to meet up with John but do the jobs he doesn’t have time for while he’s hunting for the demon that killed Mary.

I don’t think I really realized why John would leave them coordinates and the journal when he didn’t plan on actually meeting up with them when I watched this as a kid. I just kind of shrugged it off as like a necessary plot device for the show to progress, didn’t really see it as anything with a deeper meaning. And I think it’s fair that you can’t read too much into after an episode and a half because there’s so much that we don’t know yet about the boys and John and their story and all of that. But like looking at it with the knowledge of their lives and everything, it’s a lot heavier moment to me. Maybe I’m just reading too much into it.

Okay so the rest of the episode is just encounter monster, piss off monster, get kidnapped by monster, track monster, kill monster. Kind of standard, not super exciting like there’s not a lot to talk about. Dean with his molotov cocktails is kind of fantastic.

The trail of M&Ms is fun and yes better than breadcrumbs. Sam immediately becoming invested in killing the monster once Dean’s been taken gives me all kinds of feels because I love when these two go into protective brother mode. And Dean all banged up with bruises and cuts and dirt is a look I probably shouldn’t like as much as I do but that’s a conversation for another day.

The wendigo does look a little cheesy when you get better glimpses of it because early 00s special effects so it’s definitely for the best they keep things pretty shadowy for the end of the episode. Not the worst looking monster of season one and still scary enough, to me at least.

So this is the episode that seems to start the trend that if there’s a girl involved and her life gets saved by the Winchesters, one of them is going to flirt with her and get some kind of physical affection before they leave town. It doesn’t happen every episode but it happens enough that 26 year old me is rolling my eyes. 14 year old me had no issues with Sam and Dean getting smooches because look at them. But now I’m kind of like this seems a little unnecessary but whatever. It’s not the worst instance and all in all, I actually really liked Haley. I liked the whole Collins family. They were some solid guest characters and I feel like the scenes where Sam and Dean are interacting with them individually does a good job of kind of fleshing out their characters a bit more. It gives a chance for some necessary exposition without feeling too forced.

All in all, solid episode. Scary monster, intensified my fear of the woods, gave some good scenes, iconic lines. Does it have some cheesy moments? Yes. Is it the best episode of the series? No. Does it still scare me when I watch it? 100%.

BODY COUNT: 3 humans (Brad, Gary, Roy); 1 wendigo (our first corporeal monster - also like I’m curious about who the wendigo was before it changed, like how long has it been in the wilderness, how did it wind up at Blackwater Ridge, how it wound up this far west)

RATING: 7.5/10 - yep, I’ll say it. I think this episode is better than the pilot. Not by much but the characters feel a little closer to who they become throughout season one and I feel like you get a better feel for them than we did in the pilot. Also the wendigo scares me more than Sarah Shahi in a sexy nightgown I’m just saying.

#supernatural #supernatural rewatch #dean winchester #sam winchester #watchingspn #so i don't know if anyone's going to read this #i'm literally just rambling into a google doc and then sharing it #also idk if it's better or worse having screencaps in there #i'm figuring this out #idk what i'm doing #i hope someone enjoys my rambling #season one #1x02

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yeet-me-into-oblivion-please · 6 years

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Well, Supernatural is actually ending and I don't know what I'll do

[ Brevity is not a strong suit of mine since I've included personal details but there's stuff I feel everyone in the SPN family needs to read]

You might be expecting another post about how Supernatural saved someone's life and how devastated they will be when it ends because they've watched it for so long as well as how the actors have impacted their lives. This is probably one of those but please hear me out.

Supernatural premiered in 2005 and I was in preparatory class (aged 5 years and was before I began 1st grade). I heard of it because my aunt would watch it time to time so I'd also tried to get some peeks myself but I wasn't allowed to because it was "too scary".

Then our local cable began to show seasons 1-5 and that was when everyone in class started watching and quoting it. This was in 6th grade and I was frustrated because I knew about it before most of them yet they acted like it was a new show. I had a fair idea about the story but once I began watching it, I fell in love with it and loved it like a part of my soul.

Yes, Jensen Ackles was my first crush but I still thought (and do think) that both he and Jared are super hot. So I was sucked into this vortex, this Neverland which I never thought I would end.

I joined Tumblr for this show in 2013 because I saw the jokes about there being a Supernatural gif everywhere and wanted to be a part of the fandom/community. This was also the year I actually became interested what other fans felt though I never used this site properly until 2016 I would read the IMDb discussion boards because I hated scurrying through Destiel-infested posts.

(Fun fact:I wasn't using any social media of my own but on my mother's Facebook I liked a Supernatural fan page asking people's opinions on Destiel. This is was around the time season 8 was just finishing or had already finished so I read the comments--- people talked about Dean and Castiel being gay and didn't approve of it as there was this one girl who was conservative and didn't believe in homosexuality while others went on how Dean was always a ladies man which I agreed with. Not that I commented but I thought there was something I missed and I thought Castiel used Dean as a vessel, thus Destiel.)

But I digress. I was in deep by the time season 9 premiered and majority of the people I knew stopped watching the show except for this girl who bullied me throughout preschool who put up this update that Dean had become a demon. I doubt she watches the show now but it was hard seeing her put pictures of "I heart Dean Winchester" and pictures of Jensen when my mom asked me why I don't do the same.

Supernatural, I feel, has become that embarrassing thing you are into in middle school but suddenly drop when you're older, looking back and thinking, "Yeesh, I can't believe I used to watch this show."

I'll be a grown woman at 30 or 40 and probably eventually in my 70s and 80s but I will still look back fondly, the good, the bad and the ugly because I have like many teenagers have undergone many changes (friends, family, emotions, hobbies etc) but Supernatural has always been this constant in my life.

Because let me tell you, I'm seeing these posts saying stuff like how people are glad that it's finally over with its "bullshit" and that's it's dying. That is extremely disrespectful and insensitive to those people who literally live for it, who have invested time and money into it: gif makers, artists, meta writers (I may not agree with you guys but even you count). They don't know what to do once the show ends because it has helped them in ways others will never ever be able to fathom.

I saw the video put up by the guys. I saw and I could tell that Jared, Jensen and Misha had probably cried their guts out before the announcement because their eyes were red and puffy. Jared was controlling himself by talking less as Jensen was clearly on the verge as well but yes they said that they should save the angst for next year.

I love the guys; I love Jared being a goofball and Jensen being equally goofy as well and I'll say this too, I used to enjoy some of Misha's crass jokes (not the highlight ) as well which was why I looked forward to the gag reel every summer (because of J2) because it was cathartic after a traumatic season finale. I love the witty banter and the pranks the cast would do and I will miss it tremendously.

I have some issues with my aunt but everything would be okay when we would fawn over the guys and bingewatch the entire season the summer after it finished airing. We'd quote quotes back and forth and even spiritually killed ourselves watching short clips of "Sammy, close your eyes", "I'm proud of us" etc. Hell, she even promised me that when we go visit my uncle in the States we'd attend a con together.

If, and whenever we do go, it'll be different because the show won't be on air anymore and I know for a fact that I won't feel the anticipation of an episode.

So don't say disrespectful and callous things like "fucking finally". You can dislike the cast/plotline/show but don't ridicule and mock those who invested in the show,some of you are most probably speculating and have barely seen it.

I'm not some dumb, blind fan. I can see some stupid mistakes and don't always eat up what the writers show. For example, everyone must have figured that I dislike Destiel because it's based on groundless assumptions. I thought the Bloodlines was a crap idea that had nothing to do with the main plot and knew it was destined to fail.

As for Wayward Daughters/Sisters or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be called, I was not looking forward to it at all because it was one of those "forced diversity" shows, y'know gender bent stuff.

I felt that they were bastardising everything that Supernatural has and will (always) stand for because some people had a hair up their backsides. Yeah, I loathed Claire and that Kaia mourning thing was bullshit. Thank goodness I was sick that day and couldn't keep my eyes open for that episode.

If we were told that there would be a Men of Letters(with Henry Winchester) or even a Bobby-Rufus spinoff I would be okay with that but for now since the show will finish next year let's the wounds heal first, shall we?

I hope that Jared and Jensen get some offers once the show is done and I will pay good money to see movies, TV shows of them etc but for now I will keep quiet since I hope we get an ending we (and the boys) deserve.

Yes, the writer situation scares me and I think they should call Eric Kripke for a last hurrah. I mean, it is his baby and he should get to have a say in the series finale as well as J2.

Will one of the brothers die and the other will live (I'm worried we'll get a reverse Swan Song)? Will they both die leaving Cas behind and Jack as some sort legacy who trains future hunters? That would be a possibility since the sheriff in 14.16 asked the Winchesters why they don't tell people about monsters. What happens to Baby?

I seriously doubt the ending will be happy(maybe not 100%) but the best thing would be if they go driving with Baby into the sunset...

Dean at the steering wheel with Sam riding shotgun, where they should be ---- where they will always be, home. Dean plays his "mullet rock" as Sam would playfully mock his brother's musical choices. No chick flick moments. Just the Winchesters.

The boys need to lay their weary heads to rest, so they can cry no more. Because they are the legendary Winchesters, the hunters who saved the world countless times unbeknownst to many. I don't think their work will ever be done but there will be peace when they are done and how they will reach that point we'll never know till 2020.

Everyone will hear "Carry on wayward son" for the last time ever in Supernatural over a painful montage of "Dad's gone on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" and "Saving people, hunting things, the family business". Now who in this fandom wouldn't be wracked with pain?

This is the show we all joked about that made a deal with the devil to never go off air but I did expect this a long time ago. Only thing was that I didn't know how I'd treat the news. I was that person who would go, "pfft, of course Supernatural would get renewed". Then again, this was the show that an ending was imminent and the whole season 4 debacle about Misha and the angel storyline saving the show blah blah blah.

So next year, everyone will flock to see the finale and epic conclusion to the Winchester saga whether they stopped at season 5,6,7 or 10,12. Diss it all you want for the shit show it may have become but wherever you left off, you may still want to know what happens to Sam and Dean Winchester in the end.

Once Supernatural ends, I'll turn 20 next summer and I would like to think of it being poetic that I end my adolescence with a show I have loved when I brave the cold, ruthless world of adulthood. I'm a picky person and can't say what's my favorite xyz is but you know what I'll say about my favorite TV show.

We will have completed 327 episodes which is the highest for a scifi TV show so I do hope the boys get some sort of recognition. It was us crazy bitches and jerks that gave the show the mileage and it was us that gave Jared and Jensen faith that they could carry on so for the remainder of season 14 and for 15,support these guys. Support these annoyingly sexy and ridiculously hilarious dudes for this show. I'm sure Jared and Jensen love the show like it's their kid practically but I wish everyone would just shut up, tinhatters, bronlies, stans, destihellers because we are all fans of the one show so let's ease the time we have left.

But seriously imagine Sam and Dean on a desert highway, the orange and yellow rays of the setting sun make Baby shine in all her splendor which makes Dean swell with pride. He starts the engine with a low rumble and they're off. They might to California to feel the sand beneath their feet or to Disneyland. They're living the "apple pie life" and this is their personal heaven : with each other.

I wouldn't mind this playing in the background if the ending is the inevitable and unspeakable you know what :

It's wishful thinking, since I wish they'd actually play some Zeppelin instead of song titles being used as episode titles but I wish they could use some Queen or Guns n Roses and stuff before 1979 because everything sucked ass afterwards according to Dean.

I want the classic rock resurgence in the show as well but I know they'll end up using the cash elsewhere. I wouldn't mind a body swap episode but if wishes were horses, right?

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almaasi · 6 years

Text

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x06 “Optimism”

bisexual DEAN + COCKS, I cannot believe that actually happened

02:03pm

i’m a day late but SO READY

charlie and sam!!!! i saw a couple promos, one with a screaming girl and jack and dean (oh whoop just typing that makes me think of the youtube duo jack & dean, somehow i never noticed that before??)

i’m having trouble looking at screens and stuff (vestibulitis, i believe) so i’m nauseous and dizzy, and just gonna take breaks as needed~

02:07

rEALLY like the visual and sound edits on the recap !!!

......one minute later as the recap ends, i realise how ridiculous it is that i’m like “hey!!! the people who make this show professionally actually made something good!!!”

02:09

............ARE THEY KIDDING

ANOTHER ONE???? STRAIGHT OFF THE BAT????

YEAH OKAY

I’M HERE FOR IT

02:10

AND THE MICHAEL HAT

what is going on

old man clearly has the hearteyes for the girl who says hello EVERY SINGLE DAY ..... just sayin

02:12

am i just gonna see this entire season as a series of destiel aus now??? because now girl-cas is sorting books in the library and i am PUMPED

you sort those books girl!!!!! yeah!!!!!

02:13

the frills on her shirt look like wings

uuugrhguh i love this ??? because in a weird way it’s soooo damn close to seeing cas in a different costume

WISHLIST: PUT MISHA IN A FRILLY SHIRT

also adoring the fact they’re just going full-out with telling stories through fashion here.

like. i am a fan

02:16

“arbour, it’s me!!!”

“winston, god”

wait wait i gotta check who wrote this.

ahh steve yockey, good

i checked because i was like “wait, that doesn’t seem like the deadly duo writing style, or name choice”

now it makes sense

.........well her name was harper but close enough

02:18

how dare all three of these incredibly white people be so cute? why

02:20

wiNSTON IS THE CUTEST MOST ADORABLE HUMAN ON THIS PLANET

but given the nature of this show, that makes me suspect he’s a vampire or something

02:21

ohhhhkay that’s the music and the sequence from that spider man movie

02:22

now i think he’s gonna die

like. immediately

he’s gonna get hit by a car or something

oh god i can’t look

02:23

................................yup

02:26

jack: “maybe i’m allergic to sitting around doing nothing”

he is so much like cas

02:26

dean: “cas is an insurance policy on those hunts”

OH GOD NOW I JUST REALISED HOW BADLY I WANT AN EPISODE OF JUST CAS HUNTING BY HIMSELF AND SOLVING A CASE ALL BY HIMSELF

also with jack. and with dean and sam. but CAS ALL BY HIMSELF

02:28

h e l p

02:29

jack: “we can be hunting buddies!!”

dean: “okay. A) don’t call it that--”

that little nervous huff though

WHY DEAN? IS THAT WHAT YOU AND CAS CALL EACH OTHER WHEN YOU NEED TIME ALONE? “HUNTING BUDDIES”

02:33

“DICK’S RED ROOSTER DINER”

tell me that doesn’t sound like five-star “eat some penis cock here” signage

and dean drives up with his manly phallic symbol

02:37

i love this woman for making dean make this face

02:38

I GASPED OUT LOUD

ANYONE WHO DOUBTED ME ON THE PHALLIC DINER NAME BEING A BISEXUAL DEAN THING, CASE IN POINT

THAT IS THE MOST PHALLIC NON-PENIS OBJECT I HAVE EVER SEEN

(i have so many questions. did someone find it in a thrift store and keep it for years until they found the right way to use it? did they get it made specially? THAT THING EXISTED FOR THIS EXACT PURPOSE)

THERE’S A CAKE RIGHT THERE, WHICH IS A DEAN-LIKES-MEN THING (VS. DEAN-LIKES-WOMEN BEING PIE)

AND HE PUSHES IT AWAY WHEN THE LADY IS LIKE “DATING VS SEX, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE THE SEX”

DEAN RESISTS THE SEX WITH MEN BECAUSE HE WANTS COURTING & DATING FIRST

WITH CAS

BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK ELSE

I am dying

this symbolism is killing me

great!!!! i want to place an order for 3000 more of these please, thank you, i’ll pay in cash

fyi there is no doubt in my mind that dean is bi and knows it. he’s written as bi, the writers know it, the directors know it, the set decorators know it, and jensen knows it (he’s intelligent and he has a dirty mind, he knows exactly what that cock means. like, neither dean or jensen need need to know what “bi” means or remember what the flag looks like to know the concept and experience occasional attraction to men as a part of his personality)

02:52

sam: “that wing man was you”

charlie: “no it wasn’t”

rainbow in the background behind charlie’s head

no worries, she may be a different person but she’s still gay af

02:53

the love of charlie’s life was kara/cara

i’m taking notes

C UPCAKE BaKERY !!!

02:55

oh “tara” not kara or cara

.......oh man that is the worst backstory :c

02:57

trust dean to be surrounded by cocks and be like “but i like pie women”

shoutout to that lil pink sugar box on the left

02:59

headcanon: dean sniffs cocks before he puts them in his mouth

BUT SERIOUSLY THEY HAD HIM PUT A COCK IN HIS MOUTH. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. VISUALLY. WE JUST SAW THAT HAPPEN WITH OUR OWN EYES.

WOMEN PIE IN ONE HAND AND MEN COCK IN THE OTHER ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I’M FUCKING REELING HERE

DEAN IS THE MOST BISEXUAL

HE STARTS WITH THE WOMEN PIE BUT THEN HE’S LIKE YEAH OKAY I’LL TRY THIS MEN COCK ... PRETTY GOOD YUP

I DIDN’T THINK THEY’D EVER TOP THE CAKE=MEN THING BUT THEY DID. THEY EVEN PUT THE CAKE AND THE COCK TOGETHER TO PAIR THEM TOGETHER AS SIMILAR METAPHORS (SEEN IN THAT EARLIER SCREENSHOT)

I’M NEVER TAKING CAPS LOCK OFF AGAIN

no but actually 911 hello yes this is obscene

sidenote, this is reminding me slightly of my destiel chicken au Roost

three guesses why

03:07

jack: “no, you back off, old man”

FOR SOME REASON I’M HARDCORE ROOTING FOR JACK RIGHT NOW

EVEN THOUGH THAT CLEARLY HURT DEAN’S FEELINGS

03:12

harper’s apartment is #2

two people, takes two to tango

two of cups in tarot is new love/romance/relationship/friendship

03:17

harper and jack getting along

was harper meant to be a cas parallel or was the trenchcoat just a visual thing at the start? because she wore a completely different coat when he brought jack to her place

i considered that her thing with the old man, paired with jack calling dean “old man” maybe made it a “dean’s getting older but cas is immortal” thing which makes me VERY SAD

did dean just call vance “archie” ? as in archie comics? as in riverdale?

i feel like there’s some form of symbolism in another man wrestling dean so he goes tumbling into a waterfall of romance novels

03:32

“a brass nail dipped in sugar water can kill it”

sooooooo... something brass covered in soda

(edit: or just shoot it, okie dokie)

03:37

harper: “it’s a little game we play”

well i mean... if you’re gonna be undead and magic, then this does seem like a fun kinky thing

seducing other boys and killing them

sure

03:45

dean: “you know, jack, you’re pretty smart sometimes”

yeah

i love them both <3

also when dean said “love gets crazier that that” i expected jack to ask dean if he’d ever been in love

03:47

OH MAN

that was a great episode 10/10 easily. my favourite episode from this season so far

my favourite part was dean + all the cocks

best part was sam comparing charlie to the musca and convincing her to stick around

i LOVED the two hunts, and getting to see two different teams doing unrelated things but enjoying both

i like that harper didn’t die

i love that charlie and sam saved the black guy and he didn’t die

idek what else to say, this was a fine piece of writing

and i can’t even complain about a lack of representation, really, since everyone besides dean/sam/jack either turned out dead or evil and that would just add to the representation problem

(BUT WHERE WAS CAS????????????? WHERE WAS CAS????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? LITERALLY DON’T EVEN KNOW)

I am worried about jack but know he’ll ultimately be fine

I WILL NEVER BE OVER THE BISEXUAL DEAN THING THOUGH

THAT WAS A PYRAMID OF PURE 22 CARAT GOLD AND I LOVE EVERYONE WHO HAD A HAND IN CREATING THAT FOREVER. especially director richard speight jr, since i have the feeling he mostly concocted this himself since it was 100% visual and maybe not even in the script and he’s done unscripted penis jokes before

#14x06 #optimism #Steve Yockey #Richard Speight Jr #Dean is bisexual #spn spoilers #season 14 #Elmie watches things #post of postiness #dick jokes

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orionsangel86 · 7 years

Text

13x12 - Episode Review - What is Fifth Base Anyway?

So the people at Google must have been confused when they discovered the number of searches for “fifth base” drastically went up overnight… Steve Yokey you cheeky bugger I love you! (Show of hands everyone who did this? Go on, admit it!)

This episode was really good. One of the stronger ones of an already very strong bunch as season 13 continues to exceed in quality. It had jokes, it had deep emotional revelations, it had Cas once again using his SuperPower of sassing the fuck out of things to get what he wants. Yeah it was pretty awesome! So let’s delve into the main points.

The Red Herring Love Spell

We were all expecting this to be an episode similar to 12x11 based on how it was marketed to us. Dean is under a love spell! It’s up to Sam and Rowena to save him! That seemed to be the gist of the PR team’s focus. As ever, PR is not Showrunning and this turned out to be one giant red herring.

The love spell lasted all of five minutes. So why bother? WHY was a love spell even PART of this plot?! Seriously? Someone tell me how this episode couldn’t have followed the EXACT same narrative with the sisters using some other spell to force people to do things for them? The fact is, that love spell was pointless for the plot but excellent for getting people thinking about LOVE. Specifically, Dean Winchester and LOVE, or at least, what love should be, and what it most definitely is not.

Aside from the fact that the clunky music whenever the love spell was invoked made me cringe, I thoroughly enjoyed how innocent it all seemed. Dean got to play Prince Charming to the princess and provide her with a gift of her choosing. I think it says something about Dean that the love spell encouraged this fairy tale vibe specifically for him, when for Dale at the start it was all about him playing protector and hero through violence and theft. I just thought it was an interesting statement about Dean’s wishes and desires compared to other men. Though I gotta admit, the gift giving, goofiness and oh I dunno, protecting his lover from a gun? It all seemed rather familiar to me… Hmmm…

I mean who else has Dean previously entrusted with powerful one off weapons?

Who else has Dean had to recently protect from a pointed gun much to his own horror rather than the recipient who is unlikely to be harmed by a regular gun anyway?

Who else makes Dean goofy and pull these silly delighted faces?

*looks into the camera like on the Office*

Yeah, but see these are not really examples of true love, even though they are all things done with Cas. What IS true love in season 13 is something that subtextually KEEPs getting referred to in EVERY EPISODE. That in 13x01 – 13x05 Dean was deeply lost in grief. Deeply mourning over the loss of Cas – someone who he is truly in love with. Love makes you do crazy things? Yeah, and as Billy said in 13x05 (Yokey’s last episode FYI) Dean wanted to die. Cas’s death had brought him to that level. The fact that now it is SAM who is feeling low, feeling powerless because of the loss of Mary and Jack, and Dean is able to remain focussed and have HOPE that they will save them, continues to be astonishingly hypocritical of Dean given where he was when Cas was dead. But it does keep drawing our attention to that fact, and for that I love it.

Bonus point for “I think you may be right, I think its time we go ahead and call Cas…” … “I’m in love” because Yokey could have written Sam saying ANYTHING at that point but he chose to remind the audience about Cas at that exact moment… as Dean announces he is in love, because the two are connected (and because it then wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to assume that Sam’s initial reaction is “Oh… so you finally admit it?”)

(FYI this crappy gif is my own. Don’t judge. It’s the first I’ve ever made.)

Sam’s mild amusement here just fits the “oh so you finally admit it? We can call Cas and start the wedding preparations?” interpretation and NO ONE can stop me seeing it that way! :D

Bonus Point two for the mentions of “Soulmates” (which relate to Angels in the show) and “Cosmic” (which again, tends to relate to angels and Cas).

Bonus point three that this is an episodes marketed as Dean being in love! LOOK AT ALL THIS HETEROSEXUALITY! It seems to scream at our general audiences, and yet, as always in SPN, if the GA are seeking heterosexuality, they are to be disappointed. They got a 5 minute mini love spell plot and Dean once again is without even a hint of an actual true female romantic partner. Nope, sorry heteros seeking a woman for Dean. You won’t find that here!

Basically, it’s not too much of a stretch to interpret this entire love spell mini plot as exposition for the TRUTH regarding Dean and “true love”. Because we all know it. It’s right there in the subtext. I just wish they’d make it text already.

Review continues under the cut as per usual...

Addressing Long unspoken Trauma – FINALLY

Officially my favourite part of the episode (unofficially my second fave part after “fifth base”), the conversations between Sam and Rowena about their trauma at the hands of Lucifer had me welling up. This is the first time in SPN history that Sam has actually opened up to ANYONE about his Lucifer trauma. Read that again. Be amazed that it has taken this long. Send Dabb and Yokey a fruit basket for this.

One thing season 13 has been excellent at doing, is making things textual that were previously only implied. This seems to be a continued trend following on from the reveal in 12x22 that Dean is effectively Sam’s parent (A fact meta writers have been talking about for YEARS.)

I don’t really have much to say about it actually, because it’s all just THERE in the text. It has left me kind of speechless.

SAM: Its not gonna change anything, you’re still gonna feel helpless. What Lucifer did to you…

ROWENA: I told you I don’t… before he crushed my skull, Lucifer showed me his face. His true face. I’m scared Sam. All the time.

SAM: I’ve seen it too. What he really looks like behind… behind whatever vessel… yeah it still keeps me up at night.

ROWENA: How do you deal with it?

SAM: I guess I don’t deal with it, not really. I mean I…Ive pushed it down, and the world kept almost ending and so I keep pushing it down and I dunno… I don’t really talk about it, not even with Dean, I mean I could… he would listen but, it’s not something I really know how to share.

…..

SAM: Even if you do get the book, and even if you get your power back. It won’t matter. You won’t ever be able to change what happened, you won’t be able to change how helpless you felt, or how helpless you feel. You’re still gonna get scared. That feeling, that feeling never goes away.

ROWENA: Never?

SAM: Never.

…

Honestly it’s perfect. Yokey has decided that enough is enough. We need to discuss this. We need to talk about the fact that our main characters have a shit load of trauma. It’s about GODDAMN TIME.

(x)

I just want to scream about the shots for a second though because god bless Amanda Tapping for being so excellent at capturing emotions. I am starting to think she is one of the best directors for it. The intimate long close ups on the actors faces as they open about this stuff, it just works. The soft music in the back ground pulls no focus away from the gravity of Sam’s words. It’s intense, and harrowing and kudos to Jared here because I think he must have been ITCHING for a moment like this for Sam for YEARS (and for god sake someone ask him about this scene at a con instead of more bloody prank questions PLEASE.)

I also love that it’s Rowena who Sam opens up to about this stuff, because she has that in common with him. I know that it can be argued that Cas has also experienced trauma at the hands of Lucifer, but since Cas is an angel it’s not the same. I doubt Lucifer’s true face would affect Cas, since Cas is already an angel with the ability to see and cope with seeing things that human minds struggle to comprehend.

I think Rowena and Sam is our new Dean and Crowley. They are enemies, but they have a mutual respect for one another and I see this as a really good thing both for Sam and Rowena. Because Crowley was changed thanks to his bond with Dean (love for Dean), he was able to find redemption in that. Rowena could also now find redemption, especially considering her newly powered up status. For Sam I think it was a smart choice to give Rowena the pages at the end. It wasn’t just about the bond they formed over shared trauma, it was Sam knowing that Rowena is right, that Lucifer will always find a way back, and Sam knows that eventually he will have to face him again, and he needs all the help and power he can get, so a powered up Rowena is a powerful ally to have against the creature that tortured and broke both their spirits.

Am I shipping them? No, not really. I still think Rowena is a villain. I never shipped Drowley, though I acknowledge it’s existence in the show as basically a hairsbreadth away from canon. (it’s technically just as close to canon if not more so than Destiel and strongly implied that they hooked up in various episodes). But if the show did go there with Sam and Rowena I wouldn’t mind it as such. I just don’t think it would be endgame. But sure, it could work for a while. I see them more like frenemies with mutual interests. Besides, I’m a Saileen girl all the way and will continue to hope for Eileen’s resurrection this season.

Narrative Mirrors – Witches and Winchesters

Ah narrative mirrors, don’t we love them? I especially love them when they highlight the Winchester family dynamics and just how screwed up they all are. Our witchy sisters fall extremely easily into this category. Jamie and Jenny or “J2” as I now plan to call them (I see what you did there Yokey). So J2 are motivated to do whatever it takes to bring back mum. Whatever it takes even though they are hardly competent witches and only seem to have one spell mastered – the love spell. The older sister uses her charm to encourage the victims to do whatever they wish for, whilst the younger sister is the smarter of the two, more skilled in magic (I wonder who they are supposed to represent?)

They have one purpose, and will stop at nothing until that purpose is fulfilled:

JAMIE: I’m sorry, I know I’m the big sister and I’m supposed to be the strong one or whatever.

JENNY: Yeah?

JAMIE: I just really miss her.

JENNY: I do too.

JAMIE: I know, and I like, really believe in us

JENNY: Jamie, I just want her back so bad

JAMIE: And we’re going to get her back, even if we have to cast every spell in this book and curse the souls of like a million people to make it happen.

Doesn’t this sound rather familiar? Like from 13x09:

DEAN: You were right, about mom you were right, this whole time we should have been looking for her

SAM: I was just hoping, I didn’t know. And anyway it doesn’t matter, now that we do know.

DEAN: We find her, no matter what it takes.

Which always made me kinda uncomfortable. There is a reason that Billy didn’t want Dean knowing their mum was still alive. Because Billy knows that the Winchesters would break the Universe to bring her back. “House of Cards” she called it. What’s the betting that thanks to Sam and Dean this “house of cards” is going to come tumbling down just as Billy predicted? Because I would put money on it.

At the end of the episode, we realise that Sam and Dean are in exactly the same place as J2. Jamie – the older sister, trying to support and reassure her younger sister, the one who “wants mom back so badly”. Jamie, unlike her sister, is totally focused on completing their task, whereas Jenny has her doubts. Just like Sam and Dean. We know that Dean is back to “We’ll figure it out” and “you and me” even though Sam is NOT on board with this, but like Jenny, Sam will follow Dean into a hornets nest if it means doing what they set out to do and save mum.

The girls mum came back wrong though, a zombie. When Mary was first resurrected she certainly wasn’t what the boys expected either, and now she is lost again, whose to say just what state she will be in when she is finally freed? Perhaps the message for the boys here is to actually let her go? As in, let go of the memory of Mary that they had sat on a pedestal (Dean in particular) and start to accept the woman their mother actually is, and let her do her thing, because otherwise it may kill them all.

And isn’t this moment just a perfect visual representation of the toxic co-dependency that is the Winchester brothers? Stab stab stab. One of them even has a hammer… LOL.

(Yup its another one of my crappy gifs.)

The Sassiest Angel in the Garrison

Oh Cas, I have missed your beautiful face…

(x)

(Dipper agrees with me)

Now I think everyone knows by now that I hate Lucifer. As in, I find the character extremely irritating and just want him off our screens dead and buried, and that Mark P can go annoy some other shows audience. The ONLY thing that makes watching Lucifer remotely bearable for me, is Castiel - wonderful, perfect, funny, grumpy, brilliant Castiel, sassing the fuck out of him. Bearing in mind all their scenes but one took place behind bars, I was as always captivated by Cas and the brilliant genius he is.

So far in season 13, Castiel hasn’t actually spent much time using his powers, his grace, to actually get anything done. What he has done, is be incredibly smart and used that tactician brain of his to talk himself out of any situation. Everything Castiel does has a purpose. He is generally a creature of few words (except when it comes to Dean) and therefore, whenever he does speak, it is usually with a great deal of thought. (There was a brilliant meta on the word “assbutt” and how it is the worst insult he could possibly throw at Lucifer and yet everyone still ridicules him for it. Don’t knock the word assbutt. Cas knew exactly what he was doing!)

And so Cas isn’t just being a sassy little bitch in this episode. He’s being a sassy little bitch with purpose. Lucifer may be powered down, but he still has power. Cas knows this. Cas knows that the best way to get Lucifer activating what little power he has is to make him angry. So what does Cas do? He sass’s him, over and over. Pissing him off until eventually, it works.

“Turns out rage is a good motivator”

Such a badass. Bye bye little Dipper.

This is why you should never underestimate Castiel. He will always get the better of you. He will always come out on top in the end.

“This is me, learning from my mistakes” he says whilst stabbing Lucifer at the end of the episode. I thoroughly enjoyed that moment of course, even if we know already it doesn’t stick. Since Lucifer is alive next episode. *sigh*.

Lucifer has been continuously hinting all episode that he want’s Cas’s grace. It seems possible due to pics from next week, that he may actually get what he seeks.

Cas has blood on his collar, which he doesn’t have at the end of 13x12. So is Cas about to become human again? Or at least graceless? It’s possible. @tinkdw wrote this post about it (yes I stole her screencap). We were discussing this in our group chat yesterday and thanks to the themes that would come from another human!Cas story I can certainly get behind it, even if I hate the idea that it isn’t his choice yet again. This time, having Lucifer steal his grace seems worse than the first time. But as I mentioned above, Castiel has already shown several times this season that his grace is in no way where his strengths lie. I just hope that it is still his choice in the end to give it up, or not regain it, however that story may pan out.

But yeah maybe prepare ourselves for a human Cas whose grace was stolen by Lucifer plot? I mean if it doesn’t happen great, but if it does... don’t say we didn’t warn ya okay? I know how sensitive we all get about Cas stuff - this is literally the first any of us had thought of this. Besides, he’ll still be amazing even if Lucifer does take his grace, He’ll get in a few more stabs before the end. No doubt.

Other Awesome Stuff

The “fifth base” scene. Yeah this was certainly risqué of Yokey. I was screaming about this to Tink in the chatty bubbles, trust a gay writer to throw in a gay joke aimed at our currently in the closet bisexual lead character and have him act all awkward like he doesn’t know what it is… *glances at Sam* What? Nope, I’ve never… There’s NO SUCH THING AS FIFTH BASE. Sure Jan. Just as I scoff at the idea of Dean not knowing basic French, the idea that Dean DOESN’T know what fifth base is, is absurd. These are purposely input into this episode to raise our eyebrows and DOUBT them.

Baring in mind the way Rowena asks that question “Did THEY get to fifth base?” not “Did YOU get to fifth base” strongly implies actually that Rowena was asking if Dean was pegged. Let’s get that clear. Once again, we have a bottom!dean joke in the subtext of the show. (At some point we need to round up EVERY reference to Dean’s ass and compare it to the other characters just to make this point.)

Oh gosh I haven’t even got to “What’s by is by” yet. The top result in google for this supposed saying is a destiel fanfic written as coda for this episode. There is NOTHING else. It doesn’t exist. What is Yokey playing at exactly? Bygones be bygones maybe? But she had to say it like that? After a reference to anal? To DEAN? Yeah I know everyone is probably already yelling about this on tumblr but still. This is a very huge WTF from me to Yokey that he would ever think we WOULDN’T pick up on this. He did it on purpose. It has a reason, just like everything else. The reason being “Dean is Bi”.

......

(x)

The final scene with Rowena is spectacular. It’s also oddly erotic but maybe that’s just me. Rowena is finally unbound, powerful, free, and probably quite deadly. Here’s hoping she raises a hell of a storm. I have always loved Rowena’s character so for me this idea of her being “unbound” and basically immortal is really interesting. I just hope this paves the way to her helping the Winchesters defeat the big bads to come. Because I see her becoming more of an ally as time goes by. I hope she continues to have a big part to play in the story, and after this final scene I am practically sure she will.

....

Castiel speaking about Jack like he’s a proud parent gives me life. He truly loves the kid. It’s beautiful.

....

Why does Lucifer attract so many dick jokes nowadays? I’m actually almost getting tired of them. For shits and giggles I’m gonna accept it at face value that Lucifer, unlike Crowley, is not well endowed. It makes sense. The tantrums, the violence. Little man syndrome. Pfft.

I’m also going to take it at face value that Cas is most likely huge. Yeah, that smirk is telling.

We all know he’s a big boy. ;-)

....

Hats off to Brenda. The biggest star of the episode. Never failed to make me laugh every time I watched.

You go Brenda. You were awesome.

Overall

Solid episode with lots of great moments. Now all I need is Cas to find the boys and get really pissy with them when he realises they didn’t ONCE figure out that Colonel Sanders was impersonating him. I mean sure, Dean has super low self esteem and was clearly grumpy with Cas at the start of the episode for only really checking in with Sam, not coming home after taking off, clearly CHOOSING the road over being at home with HIM... But that doesn’t excuse him being blind to Asmodeus’s impersonation. Bring on next week. I hope Dean grovels.

#supernatural #episode review #13x12 #destiel #spn meta #spn speculation #dean is bi #castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #rowena #lucifer #season 13 #spn spoilers #my reviews #my meta

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