#does this count as meta? lol
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I saw a few of those "bg3 characters driving a car" headcanons and decided to do one myself for fun.
Lae'zel: She learned how to drive on the opposite side of the road from everyone else and her instincts are all wrong for her current location, but back home she's an excellent driver with a spotless driving record. She actually follows the service schedule in the car manual. She gets incensed at people who don't maintain their vehicle properly or who disobey road rules. Her car is immaculately clean. She would love to speed a motorcycle down one of those desert highways with no speed limit, but she's never gotten the opportunity and knows it's too reckless besides. But she wants to.
Karlach: She's had a motorcycle for ages and is a skilled if aggressive driver. However, she only recently learned how to drive a car. She is very enthusiastic about it and always volunteers to drive even though she's not very good yet. She's one of those people that do driving "pranks" like swerving back and forth to make people shriek/laugh, or doing "3, 2, 1 BLASTOFF" and gunning it. Could easily be provoked into an impromptu street race. Drives way too far on empty or with the check engine light on.
Shadowheart: Drives stick so that no one else can drive her car. It's a beat up old station wagon with a busted tail light and looks like shit on the outside, but inside she turned it into a goth mobile with like black velvet seat covers and stuff. She named the car but she won't tell you what. She has an air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror that smells like night orchids. She's a perfectly good boring driver with nothing to note about it UNTIL one day a cop tries to pull her over for her busted tail light and she hits the gas and pulls out all these street racing moves that you had no idea she was capable of and shakes the cop. She'll let you pick the music but if she doesn't like it her silent disapproval is so withering that you voluntarily change it to something she does like.
Astarion: Never got a driver's license and isn't about to get one now. Passenger princess who likes to control the radio but his taste in music sucks. He makes funny mean comments about other drivers and pedestrians. He'll complain if you ask him to fill the gas tank but he'll do it; you're paying for it, though. Actually pretty fun to go on a road trip with because he doesn't care about stuff like "making good time" and he's up for stopping anywhere that looks like it might be entertaining.
Gale: Never got a driver's license because he was always too busy with his studies to care and his mom drove him around and/or did all his errands for him anyway. He's real good at maps though and likes to be helpful by being the navigator. He's the smartest man in the world but he's completely stymied by a gas pump; you're better off pumping the gas yourself and sending him into the gas station for snacks. He always manages to conjure a full meal out of convenience food, somehow, and he's really good at feeding you while you drive.
Wyll: He saved up and bought his own fixer-upper car after getting kicked out of the house as a teenager. Good driver in general. People always think he would make a good designated driver, but actually he likes drinking socially and will politely decline requests to be the DD unless there's no one else available. Sometimes when he's having a bad day he blasts music really loud and finds a deserted area to just fuckin tear ass down as fast as he can go (he'll only do this alone and doesn't tell anyone about it). Never lets you pay for gas even if you offer. Will pick up hitchhikers.
Halsin: Has been driving the same car since 1973. Drives that specific car really well. If you gave him a modern car he would have no idea what anything on the dashboard does. Honestly, he prefers to walk or bike anyway.
Jaheira: Has a fuck-off huge SUV full of empty cans and wrappers from her kids. Absolute maniac of a driver who tailgates and speeds with no regard for road signs or lane markings. She is going to GET where she is GOING and gods help you if you get in the way.
Minsc: Failed the driving test three times and just gets rides from Jaheira. This does not bother him in the slightest. He tells you that Boo can drive vehicles you've never even heard of.
Minthara: Has run someone over on purpose.
#bg3#bg3 headcanons#bg3 party#do i need to tag all these idiots#lae'zel#karlach#shadowheart#astarion#gale#gale dekarios#wyll#wyll ravengard#halsin#jaheira#minsc and boo#minthara#does this count as#bg3 meta#lol#raphael doesn't drive he has a chauffeur#the chauffeur is haarlep who was paid by mephistopheles to drive his dumb shit kid around and pretend like he's not getting paid
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thinking about the significance of jean paul sartre cameo in the episode 3... in his play "no exit" three people are placed in a room with no mirrors and are slowly driven mad by the fact they can only perceive themselves via the words and actions of others directed towards them.
the point of iwtv is how fickle is memory and how we shape our image on it therefore making it as fickle and unstable as the memory itself. every character in the series is subjected to this, to being perceived via other characters and how they present themselves and others in the interview. relationships between louis, lestat, claudia and armand, daniel trying to remember the events on san francisco, claudia's struggle of being always perceived as a little girl by others, racism and the very existence of vampires.
"hell is other people." is one of the final lines in "no exit" and it truly seems to be the motif of this season.
#god#i was wondering why they threw in sartre but it rlly makes a perfect sense#this show i swear.....#typing it from the bath so does it count as shower thoughts lol#iwtv#amc iwtv#interview with the vampire#jean paul sartre#iwtv season 2#iwtv meta
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P5R Random Thoughts #3: Annoyance, Anger, and Conviction
Or, just a couple more random thoughts about Joker.
I actually do enjoy that Joker seems to sometimes get genuinely frustrated with his friends' antics - I don't know if it reads that way to anyone else, but a combination of his dialogue options and character model body language definitely reads that way to me.
He's gotten mildly annoyed with Ryuji's loudness on several occasions - often having dialogue choices that are essentially some variant of "keep your voice down!" Much as Joker feels what I suspect is quite a lot of gratitude for Ryuji's unflinching support and passion (he was his first friend in Tokyo, after all - no deal, just friendship), his dialogue options also become a lot more passive aggressive during early Kaneshiro arc - and small wonder, because Ryuji's eager carelessness actually did get them caught; thankfully by Makoto, and not law enforcement. Of course, he still cares a lot about Ryuji; I think he's just a little frustrated right now.
He's usually pretty chill with Morgana bossing him around - for what reason, I honestly couldn't tell you, but he does pretty much anything that not-cat recommends. However, when Morgana spontaneously invites Yusuke to stay with Joker without asking him, Joker kind of "!!" and looks at him. It's then followed up with everyone deciding to invite themselves to Joker's place, again, without asking him and Morgana encouraging it. The scene ends with Joker straight up elbowing/jostling Morgana in the bag after everyone's left for Leblanc. Pfft.
He tells Yusuke to hurry it up in Mementos when he gets too in the zone... and much as you can't rush an artist, they do near immediately get jumped by Shadows after that, so, you know, he does have a point.
Even with Ann, Joker frequently sweatdrops at her kind of out-there ideas of how to strengthen her heart. While I wouldn't call it annoyance, per se, there is at least one scene I can think of where two of the options straight up shut her down, and the last is basically a sarcastic "good luck with that", which Ann proceeds to take at face value as encouragement, leading to Joker sweatdropping once again. Lol.
So many of these are basically the equivalent of Joker going >:( at his friends and them typically completely not noticing which is funny as heck.
Also, because I'm the kind of person who loves to read into things, I think it can tell us a little more about Joker. What actually frustrates him here?
Drawing attention to the group in the real world - something he actively tries to avoid, at first, because of consequences for him, and then, because it puts the thieves at risk
Getting himself and the group into unnecessary trouble - so we've got two instances of Joker being mindful of potential consequences
People getting invited over without being asked first - this one's a little ambiguous as to why. Could be a simple courtesy thing, could be related to Joker's earlier obvious discomfort with people getting in his personal space without permission, could be that he likes his privacy. Personally, I suspect he's actually somewhat embarrassed and a little concerned about what his friends' reactions will be to where he's staying - I do have some reasons for this interpretation but ultimately, no matter what reason you ascribe, he's definitely not initially happy about this spontaneous invitation by Morgana.
I think we can even condense the first two and say that Joker seems to be a little more focused on outcomes and consequences than much of the rest of his group, who (before Makoto joins) very much people who act in the immediate moment. He's not quite on par with Morgana's brand of pragmatism, but he does seem to always be at least thinking ahead.
There are a few exceptions, however.
Joker's actual anger is something he is evidently not good at hiding. He has an excellent poker face, but his eyes and, apparently, the way he speaks give it away entirely. To hide his anger, he outright has to not say anything and obscure his face. That actually does not seem like someone who is especially good at hiding strong emotions, even if he can school the rest of himself.
Ann, of all people, has to make excuses for his obvious disdain towards a cop. Every single dialogue option is some flavour of snippy comment. His character model continues to stare directly at said cop, even after Ann interrupts.
He is not thinking about consequences here. Joker fucking hates cops, and he is either very bad at hiding it - or he has no desire to. A very similar thing happened with Kamoshida too. He has nothing but disdain for abusers with power and authority over those they hurt. He also outright doesn't trust the justice system at all after seeing how it failed him and so many others ("They do more than the cops" <-hello. on live tv no less.).
And this leads to something else that's actually a fairly interesting facet to his character that I'm curious to see if it'll get acknowledged in some way.
For the most part, despite the Metaverse confidence and flashiness (which I feel isn't a great metric anyways - all the thieves are like that), Joker responds to most compliments and successes by either complimenting the whole team in turn, or brushing it off as luck or not a huge deal. This is likely in part a cultural thing, but when it comes to genuine appreciation being shown, he does seem to have some semblance of humility about it all - which is why it's almost hilariously shocking how pushy he can be about helping others.
He chases after Ann because she's upset, even though initially she told him not to. He corners some of the students getting exploited by Kaneshiro and won't leave until they tell him the details, even resorting to playing into the rumours about him so that they'll talk. He overhears his confidants in some kind of trouble on several occasions and near immediately asks them about it, and then continues to bring it up if they don't elaborate. It's notable that these instances are some of the few things he decides to do himself, without Morgana's explicit encouragement. I suspect a lot of this is because he has so little faith in anyone else to do the right thing - he has no trust in the justice system, and most adults don't seem to care. But Joker cares, and he will listen to what happened, and he will do something about it, and he will help, and he does so by refusing to let up - he does not wait for someone to ask for help necessarily, he just kind of goes and does it. It's not like I can't see the rationale here, but it's also, kind of, a little bit... presumptuous, in a way.
Again, it's a fascinating contrast with his typical (at least apparent) humility, and his kind of wishy-washy dialogue from early game - Joker has always been firm about this.
The official forming of the Phantom Thieves at the buffet is a scene that really caught my eye for this. Again, much as Joker has the same level of anger as his friends, his answers are still largely "probably"s and "maybe"s. He "hadn't even considered" continuing to act as Phantom Thieves. But interestingly, there is one dialogue option that is stated with none of the usual hesitancy or vagueness - "I want to help people". <- It's the crux of his awakening. This is Joker's true conviction. And he's willing to do anything, be whoever he needs to be, to see this through. He wants to help. He can't bring himself to look away.
Asserting the Phantom Thieves' brand of justice is a conviction that arises later on through proof of the effectiveness of changing hearts, and as a natural extension of his growing familiarity and confidence in their methods. Joker nearly always needs a little push to get started, but once he gets going, he's kind of relentless. He doesn't seem to be truly all that angry with either Makoto or Akechi for their questioning of the thieves' justice (barring his initial reaction), but he does, again, get annoyed at the assumption that the thieves are somehow a threat to people who aren't inflicting harm onto others - Joker says the thieves only target "criminals", implying that even though others may see them as criminals themselves, Joker does not agree. And when Makoto winds up joining them, there appears to be no residual hard feelings from him - she's like them, and she's come around.
It's likely too soon for me to state with any certainty, but I do think that's what Joker is hoping for - that people will come around if he gives them undeniable proof that they help instead of harm. Every character has at least some "selfish" motive to being a Phantom Thief, in addition to the shared goal of providing courage for those left abandoned by society. Ryuji wants positive instead of negative attention for once, Morgana wants his memories, Ann wants to alleviate her feelings of guilt surrounding Shiho, Yusuke aims to understand the human heart, and Makoto wants to feel useful and needed. What about Joker?
He started off this story just trying to help. No one believed him. He was punished for "hurting" someone and there was nothing he could say or do that would convince anyone otherwise. It was his word against society's. And when the Phantom Thieves' motives are brought up, it's the same questions: aren't they going to hurt people? Aren't they dangerous and untrustworthy? And this frustrates Joker in a similar way to the rumours surrounding his own arrest, but now - now he has proof. Proof that they helped, proof that this works. It's undeniable, to him, that real good is coming of this. And so now he has a leg to stand on; he can actually argue his point by saying "the Phantom Thieves aren't like that; look at the people they're helping, and how the people who should've done something can't do half the good they do". It's no longer his word against the rest of the world. He's counting on people being unable to deny what they are forced to witness.
In a way, Joker now has grounds not just to plead the Phantom Thieves' justice... but also his own innocence and good intentions. His defense of their justice is also, I believe, a defense of his own ego, to an extent.
#i'm only partway through kaneshiro's palace so please do engage if you want to say something but no spoilers!#this went ALL OVER THE PLACE lol i banged this out in a haze earlier this morning#story once again reads way too much into minor details. whatever. i'm having fun#story plays persona 5#story plays p5r#persona 5#p5r#storyrambles#p5 joker#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#p5 meta#should i use my analysis tag. does this count.#i say it does even though this is objectively disorganized#call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective.#<-my beloved analysis tag i've missed you it's been so long
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couple doodles of @moonmacabre01 ‘s mtdd magical girl designs
i also just started watching futari wa precure so i made them do The Pose
#i did the first ones a while back but i knew i wanted more before i posted so now it’s done#i really really wanted to draw these designs cuz they’re just so cute and shaped and i had a lot of fun with it#also meta’s dramatic ponytail is so fun to draw lol#kirbyposting#my art or something#meta knight#king dedede#magical girl au#does this count as#quinn does comics#we’ll say it does#i know the humidity thing has nothing to do with magical girls i just got excited about drawing gijinkas for once lol#thanks for letting me draw them Moon!! :>
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today, i wanna talk about this point that i've referenced a couple times across my yrzx fics:
For the fate of the world, Wang Ye relinquished his days of peace and tranquility. To save Zhuge Qing’s life, Wang Ye could sacrifice everything beneath the heavens. (from 岁月不待人 | the moon and the tides, you and i)
i'll start during Beijing arc, when ZCL asks why WY doesn't just give up Feng-hou Qimen to the ppl who want it.
in the manhua (ch. 185) & donghua (s3, ep. 3), WY's response is vague: "for various reasons, i can't give out [that power]."
(note that the dialogue differs slightly btwn these two adaptations, but the meaning is the same)
but in the live-action (s1, ep. 22), WY clearly explains that "it would throw the ways of this world into greater disorder. this calamitous fate must be shouldered by me alone."
these lines perfectly demonstrate one of WY's most defining traits: 心怀天下 / a heart that cradles everything beneath the heavens.
we see it first during the tournament arc, when WY admits to ZCL that he didn't need to get involved in this mess—but did so anyway because the fate of the world was implicated.
WY: Actually, whatever happens to you all has nothing to do with me. No matter how terrible the world ends up, I can still protect myself and my family and keep us unscathed. So, actually, I shouldn't have come here. [...] ZCL: What you mean is that if I continue my investigation, the future of this world may very likely develop in a bad direction. Daozhang, who this "bad future" impacts isn't limited to only me, right? The two of us are neither kin nor kith; you wouldn't have come to get caught up in these troubled waters because of me, right? WY: This, involves another concept. I call it the weight of fate. [...] And you, Zhang Chulan, you hold a high ratio of that weight. Your choice will change the fates of many, many people. (LA s1, ep. 14; see also manhua chs. 121-122 & donghua s2, ep. 12)
this is the extent of WY's selflessness. and as his conversation w ZCL continues, something else is revealed to us.
ZCL: The you who could have stayed out of this matter entirely chose instead to come here and persuade me. Did you also not choose the future that would have been best for you? (LA s1, ep. 14)
that 'something' is none other than WY's conduct: 明知山有虎,偏向虎山行 / knowing full well the mountains harbor tigers, yet insisting on traveling deep into the mountains anyway. or, in other words, the practice of forging on into promised danger.
which, coincidentally, is exactly how WY praised Zhuge Liang's character during his match against ZGQ.
可他却放弃了作为一个修者该坚守的一切。就算逆大势而行,也要投身到乱世当中,只为了去救那个明知已无可救药的天下。/ But he chose to give up everything that a cultivator should uphold and protect. Even if it meant opposing the momentum of the times, he threw himself utterly into chaos of the mortals—all to save a world he knew full well was beyond redemption. 为了那个天下情愿去和天理和大势对抗 / For that world, he was willing to hold off divine order and destiny itself. 明知不可为而为,这就是他那个级别的术士作为。/ To do something knowing full well of its impossible nature—this was the practice of a sorcerer of his caliber. (LA s1, ep. 13; see also manhua ch. 110 & donghua s2, ep. 10)
with such a heart of compassion (怜悯之心, HMH's words) and sense of responsibility, WY is unlike anyone else in his generation. instead, it can be argued that the character most similar to WY is in fact one of his seniors, lao-Tianshi.
they are, at least in the LA, the only two 麒麟 in the story after all (s1, eps. 8 & 20):
and just like lao-Tianshi, it's easy to think of WY as a saint (圣人) or a god—something "above" mortal humans. he's operating on a scale (格局) far greater than anyone else in our main cast; WY is always taking the whole world into consideration, even if that's the choice least favorable to him.
(LA s1, ep. 23)
and then Beijing arc happens. and by the end of it, WY has an epiphany:
“The me who has always avoided involvement with worldly affairs has no right to speak of leaving them behind.” (manhua ch. 196; see also LA s1, ep. 23 & donghua s3, ep. 7)
he's begun to have a reckoning with his own human-ness. he's starting to realize that he's fallible, that he's ordinary and secular, that he has attachments—and, importantly, that he wants attachments. that he desires companionship (just as humans are wont to do).
and it's with that moment of enlightenment that we dive into Biyou Village arc.
because, overall, WY has not actually changed that much. he still feels responsible for the peace and safety of the world; he still wants to figure out how ZCL and FBB are related to the Jiashen Calamity. he still remembers clearly what Hong-ye said: "you are the chosen one." (LA s1, ep. 4)
and even ZGQ himself remarks (manhua ch. 228; see also donghua s4, ep. 5):
yet when ZGQ's safety is at stake, WY doesn't hesitate for even a moment:
(donghua s4, ep. 5; see also manhua ch. 228)
that is not the conduct of someone who always thinks about the bigger scheme of things. that's the conduct of someone making a choice for himself, an arguably selfish choice, to save his friend and doom everyone else.
WY would sooner give up his Feng-hou Qimen and restart the Jiashen Calamity than see ZGQ in danger. that is how important ZGQ is to WY.
在王也的心中,诸葛青的命比天下苍生还重要。/ in Wang Ye's heart, Zhuge Qing's life is more important than everyone in beneath the heavens.
and that's because ZGQ is the first of his generation to approach him. to make an effort to befriend him. to look beyond the power he possesses and also see him.
(LA s1, ep. 15; see also manhua ch. 131 & donghua s2, ep. 14)
in other words, it was ZGQ who made WY's godlike love for the world human. WY is no longer an outside viewer looking down on the plane he feels beholden to; WY is a part of this secular world, and that is why he should want to protect it.
because the red dust realm is where ZGQ exists. here is where their bond exists.
(unrelated pic from manhua ch. 196; see also donghua s3, ep. 7)
tldr: Wang Ye places the world before himself, and Zhuge Qing before the world.
— all this to say, i really am excited for s2 of the live-action, even though the casting rumors have been disheartening. Biyou Village arc is a climactic chapter for YeQing, so i hope the adaptation does it justice.
(LA s1, ep. 27)
#异人之下#i am nobody#cdrama ramblings#yeqing#一人之下#hitori no shita#crossposted from twitter but this version is much longer lol#does this count as meta? i always hesitate to use that word bc i read other ppl's stuff and im like WOW#THAT'S MINDBLOWING#but i feel like this is just 'they really really care a lot about each other please cry with me'
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So if choro hate real…. What’s the current actual ranking of the brothers.
my overall brother ranking is here.... i thought about this a little more deeply and i think if you break down the definition of "i like this character" between "i like rotating this character in my head" and "i get joy from seeing this character in fanart/amv/official illustrations/merch", the rankings are different
rotation ranking: oso > totty >>>> choro >> kara = jyushi = ichi
joy from seeing them ranking: jyushi >>>>>> ichi > oso = kara = totty >>>>>>>> choro
#i don't dislike kara at all it's just that everyone rotates him for me so much so i don't get anything out of doing it myself#but i love seeing everyone else rotate him. he gets rotated so much. his AMVs are top notch#i do like thinking about him from a meta standpoint tho i think he's a very interesting case study of narration as a characterization tool#but i dont really think that counts lol#similar with ichi everyone rotates him for me and he's not the kind of character i'm drawn towards rotating anyways#if it werent for suuji da worl he'd probably be quite low on my ranking. but suuji da worl#i dont really rotate jyushi in my head that much i just really like seeing him. i have his little doll. little pug i love#chorochan can get a few revolutions in my head too. as a treat. i do think about him#he's very good thematically. i can appreciate that#but i point and laugh at him every time i see him in merch sets#every time i see jyushi in merch sets im cheering and cooing over how cutes he looks and everyone else is quite neutral to me#does this make sense#ask
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How to make a romance! A Recipe Guide by TV tropes
Love At First Sight:
"This is one of the most common and oldest story archetypes. Love at First Sight is either a recipe for Happily Ever After or eventual disillusionment and heartbreak."
Watching The Sunset!
"It's often for their own pleasure, based on the romantic connotations, or for a symbolic purpose. They may even be waiting for something that's supposed to happen after the sun sets. Often symbolizes the end of a period — often a rather happy one — in somebody's life."
Finishing Each Other's Sentences~
"The effect is usually a demonstration of how close the two people are — they're so familiar with one another, they even think alike."
Meet The In-Laws!
"In many cultures, this is obligatory as a form of knowing and being close to each other's families. Everyone wants to make a good first impression in the face of possible disapproval and for this reason can be played for laughs or drama."
[-- ------------STANDBY------ERROR---- -------]
"Have you ever.....killed someone?"
LOADING.....LOADING.....STANDBY--
Despair Event
"The line that, once crossed,
destroys any last remaining sense of hope."
We Used To Be Friends
"The reasons might vary, but bottom line is, the once tight bond between the character(s) in question and their former friend(s) is severely damaged, if not completely broken."
Don't You Dare Pity Me
"An injured or suffering character is approached by another, eager to help, but the injured party is offended. This reaction of humiliation and resentment may be spoken, acted upon, or merely felt."
The Power of Love
"The Power of Love is a curious thing. It makes one man weep, and another man sing."
"It might just save your life."
[-- ------------STANDBY------ERROR---- -------]
//ERROR// LOADING
PLOT TWIST
THE FOOL
"the Power of Love can be applied in dire situations to make things better."
"Don't you dare mock it, it's more than a feeling, that's the power of love."
ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR
HAPPILY EVER AFTER!?!?!?!
The Lost Lenore
"The Lost Lenore is another character's deceased love interest. This kind of tragedy is one of The Oldest Ones in the Book"
"In order to fit this trope, the character must have just as much, if not more, importance to the narrative dead than they would alive."
Itadori Yuuji: The next words that spilled from my lips came from so deep within my gut that it nearly made all the things I've ever said feel like a lie. Itadori Yuuji: I will kill you.
#itajun#itadori yuuji x yoshino junpei#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk s1#does this count as meta?#jjk meta#lol#ultfreakme art#i'm way too proud of this post
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Okay so I was listening to Hurts Like Heaven by Coldplay, and I just realized how well the lyrics fit Miles.
In ITSV, Miles struggles with feeling like he can't fill Peter Parker's shoes as Spiderman. And of course, he expresses himself through his art and graffiti.
Again, thinking about his love of art and drawing. And in ATSV, he's dealing with a society that's telling him how to live his life and saying that he can't change what happens. With canon events, it's like his life has already been determined for him and he can't do anything about it.
The rules of the spider society have been keeping him apart from his friends, and now they want to tear him apart from his family too. But he's not going to let go of his morals, he's not going to let them determine his life.
Also thought I should include these lines but I feel like they're more from Gwen's POV:
At the end of ATSV, she gathers together all their friends so they can go against the lies/half-truths of the spider society.
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The point (one of them) is that both Aziraphale and Crowley actually think they the smartest one in any given situation. And since I relate to Aziraphale much more today I get fixated on his brand of superiority. He starts his journey with rebellion from pretty tame "I don't get why they makes this desisions and it's look horrible on surface evel but I'm sure that they get best ineterests of everyone involved in their hearts and it's probably me the one that didn't get some oblivious detail" to "oh okay I'm sure it's some kind of misundestanding and we can all talk it out as adults because we there work on same goals" to frustrated "they won't ever listen to me and I will get in trouble for arguing and it will be better for everyone if I will make my desisions in secret and go behind their backs because I just can't let THEM make desisions that will destroy everything". It's not straightforward, I'm 30 and still circulate sometimes between "what if it's me the one that wrong aout everything" and "god HOW people can be THAT stupid", but I remember going throught this stages first as good and obedient kid with really stupid parents making stupid desisions and later with school, govermnet, activist spaces etc.
And the problem is, I was the smartest person in the room enough time to develop issues, and Aziraphale lives like his for 6000 years at least. I can only imagine how many times he thought "if only Starmaker listen to me and didn't Fall", "if only God listened to me and didn't make an Apocalypse happen", "if only Heavens listened to me and didn't did this or that that thing", "if only Crowley listen to me and understand in what kind of danger we can get", "if only that human listened to me and haven't dig the body", etc etc. It's awful, to be the one who always gets to say "I told you so", especially when there's such awful consequenses you can't even feel satisfaction, and you will be the one to clen this mess up (and Aziraphae will clean, or better try to prevent). Now, it's of course leads to issues. BIG issues.
1) It's really hard to stop being plotting and maciavellian and communicate things properly when you expect that person will at best argue with you, at worst punish you and double down on their stupid desisons and you will clean this mess up. It also really hard to stop trying to control everything because you already accepted that everything is your responsibility and everyone else would just make things worse. (as someone that relates to Aziraphale I think he did so much progress there, the levels or trust he shows Crowley are amazing for two beings that probably last time heard of psychotherapy when Freud was alive. but such trust is fragile thing, one misstep and you back on your "it will be better if I do everything alone" bullshit. I'm not saying it's good. I'm also not saying that it's bad. it's just how things work)
2) It makes you overstep other people authonomy, because, again, it would be better for everyone if they did what you think best for them. It works funny wih Aziraphale because yes he's all for free choices for humanity!! NOW GO AND DO SMART CHOICES DAMN YOU!!! WHY YOU DON'T PICK THE THING THAT WOULD BE SMART TO PICK I HATE YOU ALL. That's where me and Aziraphale difer a little because at least I somewhat good at stepping into other people shoes and understand why they do what they do. But angel there is autistic (or bad at this specific thing for other reasons), so I think when people he consider reasonable doesn't agree with him for their own reasons he ge's really baffled, like, there arE correct opinion and it's mine, WHY are you being difficult?? to spite me?? And I'm sure that half of the reason why Aziraphale's so comfortable with Crowley is that he perfectly happy to let him buly or manipulate him into doing things Aziraphale picks as right. Usually Crowley know where pick his battles and how to play long game to make Aziraphale agree for really important stuff he wants from him, but otherwise? Sure he will complain how he hates Hamlet but they will watch Hamlet, and Aziraphale will be very pleased with himself. (and than there goes final fifteen and we back at "but WHY won't ypu agree with thing I pick or us IT'S GOOD AND RESONABLE THING" and we should be happy that consent is something that imporant for our angel ok? he would be angry with Crowley for picking wrong but he won't make him do what he doesn't want. they respect each other like that.)
3) It makes you really really tired and tense. You control everything, unfortunately the longer you do it the more things starts really depedend on you, you can't let go, you don't know anyone that can share this burden with you because first they should prove that they won't blow his up and for this you should share at least something with them, but what is they would blow it up? Better be safe than sorry. And look when it's my problems it's credit cards and doctor appointmens and with Aziraphale we talk about people dying. Crowley dying. Now, as I said, he actually shows Crowley so. much. trust. for someone with such issues. Because Crowley was there for 6000 years, and he proved himself capable enough times. But still there's areas where let go and not worry would be impossible for Aziraphale, Crowley's safety being one of such things (you see, you can risk with your life when you deal with your problems because whatever you will clean shit up if needed, but if someone close to you hurt themself?? it's YOUR problem too but it will be SO MUCH HARDER to clean. I think when Aziraphale points to Crowley that hell would be harder on him than he can expect heavens to punish him, it's partially because he believes it's true and partially because he knows how to minimize harm when heavens angry with him but HOW can he do this for Crowley??). Anyway. Lol. The more I think about it the more I sure that Crowley without Aziraphale would be a miserable angry dick, and Aziraphale wihout Crowley would be dead, because it was the one person that kept him one tiny slip away from total burn out.
So yeah there's a lot of posts about how angry heartbroken etc Crowley will be with Aziraphale (I don't agree but that's for other post), less posts about how sad and heartbroken will be Aziraphale, but I hope to see Azyraphale being angry too (it they will be angry with each other at all). Not only for not picking him or leaving or making everything messy and emotional and wasting their first kiss at their fight etc, but also because Aziraphale was trusting him! Trusting that he get another resonable adult in team with him! Someone who he can trust to make resonable desisions and see his ideas as clever and him as capable and being willing to go to the end of the world with him with mild complaints and than!! When he did trust him to understand!! He was like everyone else!! Unresonable and emotional and angry with him and why he asked him at all he should've do it secretly and alone as always and it would've be as usual and it wouldn't hurt but it was Crowley that taught him to trust and to ask him for help!! Breaking his perfectly fine coping mechanisms!! It's all his faut if you think about it huh?? (but of course he's already forgiven. but also Aziraphale would do what he needs to do alone this time, as one and only capable adult in the world.)
Anyway it's not a meta it's just some late night thoughts. And it's in no way whole analizis there's so much more problems inside this angel. It's just something in particular that resonated with me today. Also it's not in any way critisizm of him, mind you, because a) he does really the smartest person in the room most of the time and b) I LOVE how fucked up in the head he is!!! I think he needs to become even more fucked up actually!!! and Crowley should love him for that and I will cheer for him from sidelines!!!
#good omens#Aziraphale#does it counts as meta if it's half projection but also you're the smartest person in the room and always correct hmm?#I'm always afraid to talk about how trauma made aziraphale not only the most suffered being in world but also a huge insufferable bitch#because no one gets him like me no one wants to love him for that!! aside of Crowley#I'm like 'can't relate to religious trauma but remember being super fucking tired at like 8 yo because parents beat me hard enough to leave#bruises for weeks and I was angry with them because of course they didn't remembered that I'll have a medical exam at school next week and#now I need to be a resonable one and invent a cover up good enough so there won't be Questions'#and don't get me started on money thing#*sigh* if only Aziraphale was also good at getting people. but I guess Goddess desided he'll be too powerful#also *for me* it'll be beautiful if Aziraphale would be angry with Crowley for leaving and not with himself for asking at all#I want them have a long talk about motives and why Aziraphale thought it'll be good idea and why Crowley said no and how they could prevent#this in the future....but the worst lesson Aziraphale can learn there is 'actually I should never again trust him with big desisions and#I should never again ask him for things that's Big and Important for me'#so yeah that's where Crowley will need to repair things.#tdh I'm glad that final fifteen blow up and Crowley was the one being angry and explaining nothing and running away#because I love Aziraphale but I'm almost sure that even with Crowley being calm and resonable there he would've make same choise#because situation was attuned to his weak spots just too good. I can't imagine scenario where he's not leaving#but it'll be much harder for me to see if Crowey was resonable one lol. not like fandom doesn't pretend that he isn't but you know. not by#my standarts. (now in perfect world they would talk to each other calmly compromise and make backup plans together. but they're still#learning so it's fiiine they'll get there. I hope to see them communicate flawlessly while bullshitting heavens and hell in season 3)
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So I was thinking again about Maarva's monolgue resonating with the character on screen, and...
The eager is not that far-fetched, imo. After all, he seemed rather keen on hanging Salman Paak, to say the least
Now the ''waiting to be inspired''. I didn't find it particularly fitting to Vanis in the context that Maarva uses the word (community, connection, ideas). However, ''inspired'' is also related to taking action, and in the context of this scene, ''waiting to be inspired'' could indicate he was looking for an excuse to intervene, which he deems is given to him once Maarva says she would be ''fighting'', and with this calling to action herself
#star wars#andor#maarva andor#vanis tigo#captain vanis tigo#does this count a meta lol?#me scurrying for them crumbs#rip salman paak#anyway if anyone has any ideas about this pls share#one day i may be done with my Tigoposting bs but that day is not today#across-stars.post#clearing out some queuests
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Fuck it, I drank matcha earlier and my laptop's gonna die because I'm too lazy to get the charger, so let's do this
April x Corey relationship and why it could work:
Black and Bi (know the struggle tooooo well of how weird people get about them liking the same sex)
Mom Probs™️ (though April might be able to work thru hers sooner)
People pleaser vs DGAF (Corey is working on it, and April has a resting bitch face, and even though they each think the other could handle situations differently, neither of them would keep this thought to themselves
both are introverted in their own ways!!! (bookworm boy meets artsy girl, comfortable in the silence with each other
Corey has chronic anxiety and April's can be a lil grouch, but she's buckets more patient than I could ever see Ariel being?? Though April's tough love aligns a lot with Keegan, so millage will vary
My thoughts on a Corey x Lydia relationship
Don't laugh too hard, but as the writer I have full authority to say that Corey and Lydia are in relationships they have no business staying in 😭😭😭 Ariel and Morgan??? Not so bad when the relationships started out, ya know??
But Ariel is a biphobe and she knew she was uncomfortable with Corey's sexuality early on in the relationship but decided not to address those feelings.
Morgan eventually (rightfully) put together that his girlfriend had feelings for someone else, but unfortunately the blame rests on both Lyd and him because they're pushing to stay together when one of them is still silently hoping for a different ending.
Annnnnd with Corey working for Bombshell for a bit, and Lydia also being there due to her mom, I can imagine the two struck up a friendship of sorts, and I can totally see them eventually sharing things with each other they'd have trouble talking about with their other friends. (sexuality, their parents, relationships, video games that Lydia loves that Corey only knows about thanks to Oke zklshfJShdfj)
So. Walk with me. When MC turns down Lydia (as she will since um, Florence and MC are a thing in the Crushed-verse), that gives Lydia the means to finally put those feelings to bed. Obviously she'll still have a soft spot for her childhood crush, but that window is shut. And maybe she'll finally break up with Morgan too and set herself free.
And Corey will be broken up officially with Ariel, but he's nursing his hurts too. And some time will go by--because in order for Corey and Lydia to work as a couple, time HAS to go by--. And I could see Corey making a move first, to see how Lydia reacts, and I could see Lydia realizing that maybe Corey is more than a friend to her...
tbh, I see them more as a 'got together the summer before college' type couple.
And STILL together before Keeg and Oke, helppp
#gamedev rambles#gamedev writes#lol not sure that tag is being used for its original purpose#hsdjy meta#crushed vn meta#LOL wait does this count as amare tea break ish!?!?!#amare tea break
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Update: I'm to the 93 quests and it's not looking good
Who else is ready for dawntrail!?
#I'm incredibly salty lol#( meta / ooc. )#No spoilers please#But man#Remember when we promised to take him on an adventure#The raids don't count because yeah#I'm trying not to let this bother me but it really does
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The Au is Ra has been using the Lazarus pits for so long that causes him to see Danny like a human or his normal Phantom form Ra the only one that sees Danny like that
I love the idea of Deadly Decision getting together but Ra has no idea that Danny is no human he just thinks that Danny has his own Lazarus pit hidden somewhere away from him
Like Danny is full blown glowing white hair, green eyes, Sharp Fangs, an electrical being
Ra point at tall being of Life And Death it looks like he's about to rip you apart: This Is My Wife Danny.
Like sometimes people just ask him if he sees anything unhumanly about Danny and
Ra is like: What Are You Talking About ?
Danny's in the background forming Stars into his hand I'm trying to make himself a new sword
Talia and Dusan we're raised by Danny and Ra they just gotten used to also considering getting to be a normal human they find it hilarious to play along with their other two siblings Dan and Danielle that Mom is human
Slade: I've been meaning to ask what about that monster Ra has locked up back there
Talia: You Mean Mother
Slade: that's your mother I didn't know Ra al Ghul was attracted to on human beings
Dusan: what do you mean unhumanly our mother is perfectly normal he's not even assassin
Danielle walking out of his shadow: Maybe Your Mother Was The Weird One
Dan floating near Talia: Get the hell out how dare you disrespect our Mama
All of them are girlboss, gatekeep, and gaslight people into believe Danny is normal
Damien will give warning that his grandmother does not look like a Human they were all expecting meta not electric being
Danny got so used to Ra al Ghul no his Husban treating him like a normal person when he's like this that he forgot that everyone might not that treat him like that
Honestly? I love this.
And you know what? Danny might need someone like that, who even as his humanity slips away still treats him as human, as not an eldritch creature of Space, of everything Between. Someone who treats him as well, him. Is his and Ras relationship healthy? Well maybe not in human terms, but do either of them count as such anymore?
The idea of the kids playing along is also amazing lol. Especially that Jordan and Ellie? Definitely same hat as Danny. Sure their forms still look sort of human, but that just makes it very uncanny valley. So others and siblings who treat them the same? They need it just as much- if nothing else than to not become so arrogant and uncaring of humanity that they could watch the world end without a blink.
Which, Damian! I bet Danny absolutely adores the grandbaby. I bet he crafts little ice bats and miniature planets to swirl above his crib. I bet he has a literal strip of space and stars on his ceiling. And Damian isn't the only grandbaby too- Dusan has a daughter in some timelines too. Not to mention Ras' adoptive daughter Nyssa, who he gave one of the Lazarus Pits to.
But speaking of Damian, I have to know what that would mean for Jason. Who was practically completely braindead before being thrown into the Pit. Who would have probably met Danny while there because I can't see Danny not also gently doting on another grandson.
Gosh I honestly am just really enjoying this whole thing lol.
#ask answered#deadly decisions#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#Not Ghost King Danny#Let Jason & Damian be Brothers#Give Me Primordial Being of Space Danny#And not just like ooh stars space but like literal Every Space#He knows where everything is even in the Infinite space#Anyway-#Danny definitely gives each of his family members handcrafted meteoric swords#OMG CUJO#Does the whole League just go 'yep that's a normal dog nothing to see here' about him lmao#Damian later with his demon bat-dragon Goliath: Father I don't see what's wrong they are just a puppy#Huh Ras might have a decent relationship with his grandkids in this with how smitten he is
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taking care of your demigod child is exhausting
so they have a carpool lol
other car shenanigans
oldee w the grandchildrens <3
#yes im randomly dropping my waddle oc and saying nothing#and the last one is a dhmis reference lol#this isn’t an actual headcanon or anything it just amused me so much i had to draw it#kirbyposting#my art or something#kirby#meta knight#king dedede#bandee#clawroline#elfilin#queen ripple#sailor dee#Kirby oc#metadededads#leon isn’t here because uhhh idk i like carol i think she’s cool#chatacters doing domestic things will always be so funny to me#hmm does this count im counting it#quinn does comics
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A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 3
(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep4 | Ep5)
I really wanted to drop this before Episode 4, but the thing is I really really really struggled with this episode. The first two episode were very clear to me, so clear even that I managed binge-write my first post within a single night after having spent the previous night rewatching the episodes and taking notes. I kept asking myself the question "Style does this and acts like this, but why?" and quickly found my answers. But looking at episode 3? I really struggled with the "but why".
But let's get into it anyway. Not that I finish this post only when the final episode drops lol.
~~~ Spoiler warning for episode 4 ~~~
To recap: when we last saw Fadel and Style together in episode 2 Fadel ambushed Style in the locker room and basically declared war on Style. Style launched counterattacks. They did not part on the best of terms.
Pronoun situation: In my first meta post I kept up with their pronoun use on a scene by scene basis. This time I won't do that, because they consistently use the rude guu/mueng pronouns for each other throughout the entire episode without any significant pronoun changes.
No. 1: RAWR
The very first sequence at the heavy metal bar is where my first problem already arises: I am undecided on whether Style went there on purpose to find Fadel or if he went there of his own accord to have fun and just happened to run into Fadel completely by chance. Because you could make arguments both FOR and AGAINST Style showing up specifically for Fadel.
AGAINST: Style does look kinda surprised when walks up to Fadel. When they're chatting by the counter Style says he's here all the time (which is something he doesn't say about the running track or the gym – two spots that we know he only went to for Fadel). We also don't get to see Style looking at the notebook like we do before he bugs Fadel at the running track for the first time or later in the episode when he shows up at the support group meeting. What's more, Style doesn't really attempt to stick to Fadel no matter what until Fadel either physically gets rid of him or just walks away. Instead Style leaves of his own accord to have fun with people who aren't Fadel and also seems perfectly content to do so.
FOR: When Kant looks through the notebook in ep2 after Bison hands it to him we can see that the bar is in there. So Style should know this bar is one of Fadel's go-to spots. Style could be feigning surprise when he walks up to Fadel to make it look like a chance meeting and he could also be lying about being there all the time.
Whether or not Style came to the bar in order to seek out Fadel specifically or not, when he walks up to Fadel and sits down next to him it's all in a friendly manner. His behavior has an air of Oh hey there person that I know, let me say hello! to it.
Style is once again trying to involve Fadel in an amiable conversation despite their confrontation last time they saw each other. Or maybe he's trying to involve Fadel in an amiable conversation because of the confrontation last time they saw each other. Style's friendly approach makes it clear that he's not holding any grudges about it. Fadel is not up for a friendly conversation, though. In the scene by the counter he says a total amount of two sentences to Style (or even just one, if you don't count the "no" as a single sentence). Style tries to get Fadel to socialize, to get Fadel to come out of his grumpy shell and go dance with him a little bit, to loosen up and scream a little bit. Fadel won't budge. So Style gives him his space and walks off, but not without inviting Fadel to follow him just in case Fadel miraculously changes his mind. After Style clinks bottles with his (new?) friends he looks back at Fadel and nods at him before getting busy with his friends.
I want to talk about that nod for a quick moment. Because as an introvert who tends to be quiet and shy in a crowd (especially a crowd of strangers or people I don't know well) I have my fair share of experience of being alone in a crowd. And I adore that Style is making contact with Fadel again, even though he already walked away and their conversation is actually over. As I've mentioned in some tags before, some of Style's core personality traits really remind me of a dear old friend of mine. We had a time in our late (ish) teens where we'd hang out at our youth leader's flat every day. My friend and my youth leader would often play Magic: The Gathering, which is something that's really not my thing and so I'd be "left out" that is I'd be chilling next to them doing my own thing or just watching them, not understanding shit. They'd be in the middle of a game and my friend would sometimes randomly look up and nod at me like that or he would pull faces at me or do some other random shit to communicate with me for a second before focusing back on the game. These small gestures were something I always really appreciated because they made me feel included, even though I had no interest in the game and couldn't really be part of it. The way Style nods at Fadel reminds me of that. He's making contact with Fadel across the room, involving him, including him. It's a nod kind of like Hey, I see you. And yeah, Fadel doesn't really want to be seen, except deep down maybe he does.
Which brings me to the choking scene. Style is having fun with his friends (or random people he just met??). He spots Fadel, excuses himself and walks over. Almost as if he saw Fadel standing there all on his own and decided to talk to him because "You're supposed to have fun with your friends at a place like this". As if he doesn't want Fadel be all alone. So he walks up to him and starts another conversation. We get another confirmation that Style isn't holding any grudges about their confrontation in the locker room, because he actively teases Fadel about it. I'm not even sure Style is purposefully being flirty here, I think he really is going more for a playful callback to the locker room confrontation, mixed with a challenge of "So? Are you gonna go rough on me again? I dare you to do it again!"
What's more, I think at this point his brain is set to I must hit on him, so I must drop flirty shit whenever possible. So when he says Fadel looks sexy, while there sure is some truth to it and he certainly finds Fadel sexy in general, I don't think he really 100% means it in that specific moment. It's almost more as if he's saying it out of habit, just for the sake of dropping flirty shit and compliments at any given opportunity.
All in all, that night at the bar Style isn't really being annoying or flirting with Fadel on purpose. He spends the night trying to make friends with Fadel again, trying to make amiable conversation, trying to involve him in friendly banter, trying to genuinely connect with him. As if to get Fadel to open up and come out of the shell that he has deeply buried himself in. And I think what this interaction also shows is that Style is starting to have positive feelings towards Fadel. It's the beginning of Style genuinely liking Fadel more than he dislikes him. Style is slowly starting to worry and to care about him.
No. 2: The Best Way to Burn Calories
Now for this scene we know for a fact Style is here for Fadel specifically. Once again, Style blurts out flirty shit and once again it doesn't sound entirely genuine as if he actually means what he says. Kant has sent him on a mission to hit on Fadel, but Style still hasn't quite figured out how to get through to him. Fadel continuously ignores or even blocks Style's attempts to make friends with him or to genuinely connect to him and the flirting also doesn't seem to be working. (Oh, Style. If only you knew just how well your genuine flirting at the gym worked on Fadel 🤭)
Style knows very well that Fadel is annoyed by him (Fadel even explicitly tells him that it's a bad morning if he sees Style). And I think at this point Style has decided that if he can't be a positive presence in Fadel's life he'll simply just be a negative presence then. Since that will still bring him closer to his goal than being no presence in Fadel's life at all would bring him. So he just shows up, bugs Fadel to remind him of Style's existence and also drops flirty shit at any given opportunity while he's at it regardless of whether he genuinely means what he says in that moment or not. And while I'm sure there is some truth behind Style's words, I think a lot of the flirting really is more of a routine now, a habit. Since that is what he was hired to do after all.
Side quest: Body and Heart
One thing this scene touches on is that Style definitely isn't in it just for sex alone but that he desires an emotional component as well: he explicitly says he wants Fadel's body AND his heart. As I said, I don't think Style really meant the flirting here, but I do think there is some truth to his words, namely his desire to not just have meaningless sex but to also be in love.
I think, unlike Kant, Style actually isn't too big on casual one-night stands. I think he enjoys flirting around, because Style is an attention hoe, but if I had to guess I would say most of the time he doesn't end up actually sleeping with anyone. Style is charming and I think he has a lot of fun with flirty banter. And he definitely loves the attention: in episode 1 he clearly enjoys it when the girls are admiring his waist that he proudly shows off at the bowling alley, in episode 2 he gives Fadel permission to look at his naked body, and then later in episode 3 he also looks very happy and satisfied after those girls call him "hot" when he's dropping of the car keys at the host club.
Style loves the attention, he enjoys the flirty banter, but I think sleeping around no strings attached isn't truly his kind of thing. We get another hint of this in episode 1 when Kant claims "[Y]ou’re in no position to call me out when you’ve been playing around just the same". Style replies "I don’t know what you’re talking about" in a disapproving tone and with a skeptical face.
In fact, in Thai he says:
อะไรของมึงว่ะ [àrai - kŏng - mueng - wâ] what - of - you - [rude particle]
I haven't checked this phrase back with a native speaker yet, but I've often heard it in the sense of Wtf is your problem? or Wtf is up with you? or Wtf are you talking about? To me, the English subs sound almost more like Style is deflecting Kant's statement while in Thai to me it feels like Style is actively disagreeing with Kant's words (feel free to correct me on this if I'm wrong @happypotato48 🙏).
Like, Style clearly doesn't approve of Kant's accusations and immediately goes attention seeking to highlight that that is what he's all about:
Going with the crop top shot specifically because I'm SURE some of you will really appreciate it lol
The literal translation of what he says here is actually more like "I'm just checking my rating":
กูก็แค่เช็คเรตติ้งกูเฉยๆว่ะวะ [guu - gôr kâe - chék - ret-dting - guu - chŏiie chŏiie - wâ wá] I - only - check - rating - I/my - just - [rude particle]
Style wants eyes on him, not hands, and he wants to be rated the hottest person in town by everyone who takes just one single look at him, thank you very much.
What's more, right before this exchange he also tells Kant to quit his one-night stands and get a real lover, so we know Style is very much team "having a boyfriend is a good thing". Style not being too big on meaningless one-night stands will also be reflected later in episode 3 when Style tells Fadel " What kind of man do you take me for? I might look like I play around, but I’m damn devoted to love. I want to date*" when he complains about Fadel ditching him right after their hook-up as well as in episode 4 when Style tells him "I'm not just anyone. I need clarity" when Fadel points out "Some people [have sex] countless times and never called it anything" after Style asks what their relationship is now that they've hooked up twice. We see it also in the way how enraged and genuinely hurt Style is in episode 4 after the stunt Fadel pulls in the kitchen. For Style, sex isn't just sex and I think as impulsive as he can be he still makes very deliberate decisions about who he actually sleeps with.
Kant may claim Style plays around just like Kant does, but the thing is that night at the bowling alley? It's Kant who finds himself someone to spend a fun night with while we see Style leaving the bowling alley all by himself without his own hook-up. You could even make arguments about how Style doesn't actually like doing the pursuing and much rather prefers to be pursued. But more on that later.
*(Actually, literally he doesn't say "I want to date" but "I want a faen" -> confirming once again Style is Team Steady Boyfriend)
No. 3: Sweet Meat
Just like in the scene at the sports field right beforehand, Style continues to be an annoying presence in Fadel's life, if he can't manage to be a positive presence. For this scene he even turns up his annoyingness level a little more than at the running track. What's very interesting here compared to the meat stall scene from episode 2 is that here in episode 3? Style doesn't give a shit that Fadel turns away and walks off without buying anything. In episode 2 he was very quick to yield in order to keep Fadel from running away, but this time Style doesn't care that Fadel just ditches him. When Fadel has gone, Style immediately hurries after him. He's already got his next move planned.
No. 4: Burger Burger Burger Burger
I think Style tries out a different strategy here: maybe if he helps Fadel, Fadel will finally soften up to him. What's also interesting is that every word out of Style's mouth suddenly sounds a lot more genuine now compared to what he was spouting at the running track or at the market earlier that day. And I think it's because he (thinks he) is helping Fadel.
Style likes to help. We see this in the way he agrees to help his best friend by hitting on some weirdo guy (yes, of course he's also getting a car out of this deal, but I think part of the reason why he agrees to the deal is also because he genuinely wants to help Kant find love), we see this in the way he immediately takes orders from customers no questions asked in episode 2 right before he meets Bison, and we'll see this even later this episode when he throws himself into the fight despite having no fighting skills whatsoever, just because he thinks three against one is unfair and wants to help.
And if we go back to the thought that maybe, just maybe, Style actually doesn't like to pursue others then it's no surprise that his words here suddenly sound a lot more genuine now that he (thinks he) is helping Fadel compared to his half-assed attempts at flirting earlier that day on the sports field and at the market. Helping people is Style's thing. He's back in his comfort zone which means now he can be much more sincere in his words and his actions again, because there is less of a need to pretend to be a type of person that he just simply is not.
Which also results in Style being much more playful again rather than annoying. For example, when he calls Fadel a "good-looking chef" and shoves him with his his gigantic burger bun. Or when he teases Fadel about being shy. Or when he asks Fadel "You hungry?" after they end up on the ground. This time I actually believe Style's words. Where the flirting at the running track and the teasing at the market felt more like a task where Style was mostly just saying words to get the job done, now that he's back in his comfort zone it sounds like he actually means everything he says again.
There is also some sort of sincerity to Style's desire to help. Fadel, however, does not want Style's help and tries to send him away. Style reminds him that Fadel should probably be making burgers instead of wasting time arguing with him and also points out that Fadel's own brother, who is supposed to be here helping him, is nowhere to be found and that he, Style, is in fact right here by Fadel's side helping him, supporting him. I think Style is being a little overly dramatic when he says "All I ask from you is a little decency" in order to get Fadel to soften up at least a little bit and to get him to accept Style's help, but I also think Style does genuinely desire at least some form of recognition for his support as well. But Fadel won't budge and once again just abandons him.
No. 5: This Is A... kitchen
Trouble arises at the diner and once again we see that Style likes being helpful, because he rushes into the kitchen, immediately ready to help serve the customers. And this time his desire to help is real. It might also stem a little from his desire to fix things, because it is his own fault that the restaurant is overrun and so part of him might want to make up for that, too. What matters, though, is that it's not just another attempt at getting close to Fadel like earlier when he was promoting the restaurant. Fadel blocks him once again, but Style insists. And I think he really hits the nail on the head with this:
I haven't yet looked at Fadel as closely as I have at Style (oh how I wish I had the time, though *cries in university student*) but I do think that this is ultimately something Fadel will be forced to learn over the course of the series.
Anyway, Fadel tries to send Style away again, but Style refuses to go and lists a number of arguments as to why he should in fact go serve tables instead of going home. He ends his arguments by telling Fadel to learn to accept help and then then determinedly tells him that he'll go wait the tables himself. Once those words are out of his mouth he looks at Fadel almost with a bit of a defiant expression on his face as if he's waiting for Fadel to object again.
But this time Fadel says "Fine, you can wait the tables" and Style nods and raises an eyebrow in surprise and happiness, like Wait?? I can?? For real?? You're actually letting me?? I don't have to fight you some more?? You're not throwing me out again??
When Style goes to change into the uniform right there in the kitchen, I don't think he's doing it to be flirty or anything like that at first. I think in the heat of the moment he genuinely forgot that changing rooms (or in this case, bathrooms) exist. I think he wanted to follow Fadel's order as quickly as possible so that he could start helping as quickly as possible. That is, until Fadel tells him off and sends him to the bathroom. Style responds by playfully teasing Fadel about being shy. Style is in an excellent mood now because it's one of those rare occasions where Fadel accepts Style's presence rather than trying to get rid of him. And while I do think Style changes in the kitchen anyway in order to tease Fadel, I don't think he's necessarily doing it to tease Fadel for sexy reasons but rather for playfully petty reasons. Because Fadel keeps scolding him and yelling at him and when Fadel tells him off for changing clothes in the kitchen, Style does it out of spite. Like Oh, you don't want me to change in the kitchen? Well, in this case i DEFINITELY have to change in the kitchen, then. I will say, though, that there is definitely a little bit of an Oh, you're NOT shy? Well, prove it, then! in there as well. But I don't think that this thought is Style's main focus here, because apart from this one look that Style throws Fadel right after he's pulled his shirt over his head...
...from what the camera shows us he seems more focused on the clothes and the action of changing them rather than on Fadel's reaction to him getting naked:
We, the audience, were shown Fadel's reactions to Style getting undressed and I think if Style had taken note of these reactions, the series would have made a point in showing us that Style notices Fadel's crisis. And our chatty cat here would have 100000% teased Fadel about it. What's more, Style has no idea just how much of an effect his naked body had on Fadel back at the sauna. Style has absolutely no idea that Fadel went and fantasized about him afterwards. So Style does not (yet) know that his naked body is one of the strongest weapons he currently has in the fight for Fadel. So Style does not (yet) realize that he could be using his body in a much more deliberate manner. And I don't think he realized it in this scene either, because as I said we would have been shown his discovery. So Style leaves the scene none the wiser, but eager to help and absolutely stoked that Fadel actually lets him for once.
No. 6: Death by Spatula?
Unexpectedly, Fadel drops lore of himself and I think that piques Style's interest because Fadel almost NEVER drops lore of himself. Pretty much all the things Style knows about Fadel are things he got from other people (like all the information in the notebook) or things he found out by himself (either because he's picked up on them in all their interactions so far or because he actively did some research like when he looked up Fadel's name). There are only two other instances where Fadel himself revealed something about himself to Style:
When Style finds him at the gym, Fadel drops that he doesn't like it when it's crowded and that this is why he likes going to the gym at night.
When Fadel tells Style that he runs a burger joint in the "sensitive nipples" scene and also mentions that he does everything by himself. Although this incident barely counts, because Fadel didn't really give this information voluntarily but was instead kind of forced to since Style had found the pin of his restaurant.
Usually, Fadel refuses to reveal anything about himself. But now Fadel is overwhelmed by the many customers and in his stress he lets slip that he doesn't need money and that he only runs the restaurant for fun. When Fadel then also claims not to be rich, Style immediately finds it sus. Lucky for him, though, he won't make the right guess until later in the episode and so he manages to escape being prematurely murdered with a spatula. But Style doesn't know that.
Instead, Style just got a lot more intrigued by Fadel. This is one of those incidents that make Style want to get to know Fadel out of his own curiosity and not because he wants to help his friend and is getting his dream car as a reward. Style is starting to take a genuine interest in Fadel as a person and his positive feelings towards Fadel grow.
No. 7: First Bites
When Fadel wordlessly hands Style the burger it's the first time that Fadel is actively reaching out to him. Reaching out to him in a friendly manner that is, not to ambush him in a dark locker room and start a fight. And Style is absolutely delighted that Fadel is finally taking a step towards him instead of walking away from him like he usually does. And Style being Style, he of course has to immediately make a big deal out of it: "Are you finally folding? Was it because of how hard working I am? You like me now, don’t you?"
Actually, I wanna take a little detour to the language side of things again. The English translation has a question tag only on the last sentence, but in Thai Style actually uses question words that give a sense of "right?" or "isn't that so?" at the end of every single one of these questions.
นี่มึงเปิดใจให้กูแล้วใช่ป่ะ [nêe - mueng - bpèrt - jai - hâi - guu - láew - châi bpà] [interjection] - you - open - heart, mind - to, for - I/me - already - right?
I actually really like the expression he uses in Thai: he says เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai] which consists of the words "(to) open" (เปิด) and "heart, mind" (ใจ). To me, that gives me the feeling of Style not just asking Did I manage to win you over? but more of a feeling of You are finally opening (your heart) up to me, right? You are finally letting me in? which I think is a much nicer image in regard to Fadel's character and Fadel and Style's relationship.
มึงเห็นความขยันความตั้งใจกูแล้วใช่ไหมล่ะ [mueng - hĕn - kwaam kà-yăn - kwaam dtâng jai - guu - láew - châi măi - lâ] you - see - diligence - intention, determination - I/my - already - right? - [particle]
I don't know if others feel the same way, but in the English translation the "hard working" part mostly makes me think of Style working hard with helping at the restaurant before this conversation. A more literal translation of what he says in Thai would be "You've seen my diligence and determination, haven't you?" and I'm sure he's actually more referring to his determination and relentless efforts in getting close to Fadel.
I just really like the way Style phrases all his questions here in Thai. Fadel has enclosed his heart deep within him in very thick and high walls and no one gets access to it. And Style's task isn't that he has to get Fadel to simply just fold to him, surrender to him, but what he actually needs to do is to search for a way to reach Fadel's heart. His options are either to tear down Fadel's walls by sheer force or to somehow get Fadel to trust him so much that Fadel will willingly unlock and open up the doors leading to the depths of his heart. And it's like Style is asking You're finally letting me in, right? You're finally recognizing my diligent efforts to reach you, right? You no longer hate me, right? You like me now, don't you?
And I don't think Style is necessarily flirting here and means to ask if Fadel likes him romantically. On the surface, yes, he is definitely also asking if the flirting (attempts) have worked and if Fadel is starting to fall for him. But I think a lot of this is also about how he has on multiple occasion now tried to form a genuine connection with Fadel. Just in this episode alone we can see it in the way he asks Fadel if he likes heavy metal at the heavy metal bar and then tries to get him to socialize, tries to include him. We can see it the entire time at the restaurant just now where he's voluntarily helping because he genuinely cares. There are even more instances in the first two episodes, which I talk about in my first meta post of this meta series. Style has tried to bond with Fadel multiple times now but Fadel has always blocked his attempts and I think a big part of Style also wants to know if Fadel is finally starting to have at least friendly feelings towards Style. That Style is finally going from being an annoying presence in Fadel's life to being a pleasant presence in his life.
But Fadel shoots him down. "Don't get your hopes up. This is your wage." (Fun fact: in Thai Fadel actually tells Style not to เวอร์ [wer], which is a slang word coming from the English word "over" and, if I remember my Thai friend's explanation from a month ago correctly, is used to indicate that what someone is doing/saying is "too much", so what Fadel says here could be taken as "don't exaggerate" or "don't be so overly dramatic" or "don't be so hyped")
Style immediately complains that the burger is too little of a wage, but also won't let Fadel take it away from him again, insisting on eating it anyway. It might not be much of a wage, but that burger is important to Style. When Fadel sends him home, Style dramatically laments being exploited and thrown away. I think this is yet another one of Style's attempt to get some friendly banter out of Fadel. But Fadel isn't having it. Fadel makes it clear that he wants Style gone asap and Style is annoyed that Fadel keeps making him leave. I think Style is genuinely enjoying hanging out with Fadel at the burger joint and also genuinely wants to stay. His positive feelings continue to develop.
Special shout-out also to the way Style loudly goes "Mmh! Mmmh!!" while chomping down on the burger to make sure Fadel knows exactly how much he's enjoying Fadel's food. Which isn't just food in this instance, no, the burger also stands for an unspoken thank you for helping me and symbolizes the first time Fadel has actively reached out to Style on his own and done a nice thing for him. Style is making sure Fadel won't miss just how much he appreciates this gesture.
No. 8: A Fly on the Wall
Oh, how desperately I wish we knew at which point of the conversation between the brothers Style came in exactly! This is going to drive me insane, because I have no idea just how much of the conversation Style overheard, which unfortunately is important information for the interpretation of his interactions with Fadel from this point on. Most of all I really NEED to know if Style happened to hear this specific line:
Fun fact: in Thai he doesn't actually say "you wanted to rely on" but he says (ที่)มึงจะไปอยู่ด้วย [(thêe) - mueng - jà - bpai - yòo - dûuay] which should translate to something like "(that) you were gonna be with" or "were gonna live with" (disclaimer: I didn't double-check this with a native speaker) which sounds much more like a serious relationship to me rather than when phrased as "dude you wanted to rely on". And we'll get the confirmation of an ex-boyfriend later in the episode.
Now the question is: DOES STYLE KNOW ABOUT THE EX-BOYFRIEND NOW?? DOES HE KNOW FADEL WAS IN LOVE BEFORE?? PLEASEEE I NEED TO KNOW 😭😭😭
In my quest to find an answer to these questions I did come across a strange background noise that comes right after this line, though. A background noise that could very well be interpreted as Style sliding open the door. So for the sake of my own sanity I'll go with Style only having heard this part of the conversation for sure:
F: Why did you bring this up? K: I just want you to tell your brother how pipe dreams always end. In this line of profession, no one waits for you.
This is yet another incident that gets Style genuinely curious about Fadel, about who he is exactly. Style will certainly be wondering about what that profession is from now on. And he will certainly be wondering about what that profession could be after he watches Fadel beat up three grown men like it's nothing. And he won't know that he will have hit jackpot with his guess.
No. 9: Private Show
Where the masturbation scene from episode 2 confirms that Fadel feels genuine physical/sexual attraction to Style, this scene confirms that the feeling is mutual on Style's side of things as well. Style, too, finds Fadel's body hot. What's more, he never stops looking at Fadel. And not just at his body, but throughout his fantasy, Style is always searching for Fadel's eyes. In fact, he rarely takes his own eyes off of Fadel's face, and when Style does direct his eyes somewhere else it's always only for a very short moment. I think this once again shows that Style desires an emotional connection next to a physical one as well. Sex isn't just sex to Style, he wants more with it.
It is said that eyes are the windows to the soul, so another reason for the intense eye contact could be that Style also wants to stare deep into Fadel's soul to get to know him better in a quest to find answers to who this mysterious person really is. Because by now Style is genuinely curious. He has genuinely started to care.
Remember how I mentioned that arguments could be made for Style actually liking being pursued more than doing the pursuing and that I would get into this later? Later is now.
At this point I want to plug @clemelntine's extremely interesting perspective on the two sexual fantasies that we've gotten so far and what that means for the storage room hook-up. I'm not gonna reiterate everything, but I do want to pick up on what she says about Style specifically:
No matter how much he annoys Fadel in the day to day and how much he seems to take the upperhand in those interactions, when it comes to sex he likes in the idea of letting Fadel do what he does/wants.
In Style's own fantasy, Style is sitting back, he's letting Fadel take the reins, do the work. This is also in line with @secriden's excellent meta on Style's true desire being to be pursued, which I also really encourage you to read. Again, I won't repeat the entire post, but she highlights how Style will downright create opportunities for Fadel to lay his hands on him and how "every single time Fadel even shows a HINT of wanting Style, he immediately falls pliant, like he can't wait to let Fadel take the reins" (quoted from @secriden). And we see this desire in the fantasy too. Style imagines Fadel being the active one while Style gets to sit there and enjoy. Our little attention hoe here likes it when people are actively after him.
I was struggling to really make sense of Style this episode. In the first two episodes, whenever Style was being annoying there would be some sort of trigger for it. I was confused especially in the beginning of this episode, because I didn't understand how and why Style would go from trying to genuinely bond with Fadel at the heavy metal bar to being annoying at the running track and at the market when nothing seemed to have triggered it. I could tell Style was being annoying on the sports field and at the market, but I really couldn't figure out the "but why?" of it all. But if we look at his behavior through the lens of "Style actually prefers being pursued over doing the pursuing", I think it makes more sense. Style prefers for others to put in the effort of pursuing and now that he's forced to do the pursuing himself he doesn't really know how to go about it, especially when the person he's trying to woo has walls high up to the sky and continuously shoots him down. Style shows up and drops flirty lines but he doesn't even really mean them because he doesn't actually want to do the pursuing. The inauthenticity in his insistent approach is what makes him annoying in those scenes. And it's also not what works on Fadel – it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, like when he was helping him wait tables (which Fadel recognizes by rewarding him with a burger) or when Style was being playfully flirty in the sauna (which results in Fadel fantasizing about him at night).
No. 10: Mark Style Down As Scared AND Horny
We will later learn that Style doesn't believe Fadel about needing more money for the restaurant and was just acting stupid to gain Fadel's trust, but when I first sat down to take notes for my meta I wasn't sure if Style was being entirely accurate/truthful when he said this, since he witnessed Fadel taking on three grown men only after that whole conversation about the restaurant. So why would he feel a need to gain Fadel's trust before that? At first I thought that maybe Style did believe Fadel for a moment there, especially also because he presented Fadel with an excuse as to why he was working there right away and then also sounded a bit too sincere when he offered support to Fadel. However, on second thought I'm now thinking that maybe he really does distrust Fadel's claims from the start.
Outside the host club Style approaches Fadel and I don't think it's with the motivation to flirt with him but rather to find out why exactly Fadel would be here stripping for some ladies. It's a bit odd that he immediately offers Fadel an out of "You need the money for your restaurant, right?" when he's trying to get answers, but maybe this clumsy approach at digging for answer is already part of Style playing dumb on purpose to gain Fadel's trust. But why would he need to gain Fadel's trust when he hasn't even seen yet what Fadel is really capable of?
While it is true that up until the "why are you working as a stripper" conversation Style hasn't witnessed the real danger that Fadel poses, there've still been enough incidents to make him suspicious of Fadel. It already starts right during their first meeting when Fadel won't let Style get near his car. That's weird, Style finds it weird. Next thing Style knows is that Fadel also doesn't have any papers for said car which is very odd again. In episode 2 Style gets a little hint of Fadel's dangerous side when Fadel ambushes him in the locker room. In episode 3 he learns that Fadel opened the burger place just for fun rather than to earn money and that apparently Fadel isn't rich and yet somehow still has the resources and the time to run a whole restaurant for fun. Shortly after that he (likely) overhears something about a "profession" which clearly can't refer to the profession of being a burger joint owner. Style has enough reasons to be suspicious of Fadel, even before he witnesses Fadel's badass fighting skills. Style has reasons to gain Fadel's trust and to stay on his good side, especially since Style himself is hiding ulterior motives and can't risk Fadel getting suspicious of his own true intentions. So Style plays dumb, offers Fadel an out, and when Fadel takes that out Style raises his eyebrows and hesitates for a moment like Oh, okay. We're going with the lie, then, before he offers Fadel support.
The conversation gets interrupted by those three men looking for a fight and for the first time Style gets to see just how dangerous Fadel can get when he wants to. This is where Style truly realizes that something really is very, very OFF about Fadel. It's no longer a joke or a gut feeling, no, this is confirmation that something here is incredibly shady. And Style wants to get to the bottom of it.
No. 11: Hit by Apollo's Ball of Prophecy
There've been a few incidents that got Style curious about who Fadel really is behind his thick walls and his tough exterior, a few incidents that got Style curious about Fadel's lore. But watching Fadel take on three grown man without any major problems and having them run away in fear was the last straw. Style's motivations officially change. Getting Kant's car is less important now than finding out the truth about Fadel. Style definitely exaggerates a bit when he says that Fadel must be some kind of hitman, is being dramatic as usual. It won't be much longer until Style finds out that Apollo has actually hit him with the gift of prophecy.
No. 12: Rise Up
Style is determined to find out more about Fadel's life and promptly shows up at yet another location he knows Fadel will be at. I'm not sure Style was aware this meeting was gonna be about grief and loss before he arrived and saw the sign. At least from the notebook it's hard to tell because the drawing only shows a group of people sitting in a circle of chairs with the caption "rise up". That could really be about anything. For me personally, my first association (especially in combination with the words "rise up") would be a Christian bible study group, although I doubt that Style, having been raised in a predominantly Buddhist country, would necessarily have this specific association with that image and those words, too. Point still stands that nothing about this image strictly points to loss specifically. (Technically we could say that since there's no address in the notebook, Style might have googled "rise up" in order to figure out where to go and seen on the website that it was a meeting for grief and loss. However, as we didn't actually get to see Style do any research and find this information, I'm just gonna run on the assumption that he genuinely didn't know and that maybe he got the address via Bison or something. Or maybe he actively stalked and followed Fadel, idk.)
Style stops in front of the sign, double-checks that he's at the right place, and then nods in determination, kinda like alright, let's do this, then, before he enters.
Another reason why I don't think Style was aware what this group meeting was gonna be about before he arrived is the way he's kinda confused when the group leader asks him to tell his story. The group leader elaborates ("Something you’ve lost, or the changing point in your life.") and Style, who was looking at the group leader while listening to his explanation, turns his head to look at Fadel right after the group leader says the word จุดเปลี่ยน [jùt bplìian] (= changing point). He stares at Fadel as if he's wondering Did he lose something? Was there a changing point in his life?
Style can't dwell on it for too long, though, because he has just been asked a question and now needs to come up with a cover story.
And this is where Style really starts to get out of line. He dishes out a story about some dog, which I don't really want to get into right now since at the point of me writing this we're only 4 episodes into the series and who knows, something might as well happen later down the line that could recontextualize Style's story (looking at you, Boonterm mention! 👀), but I think it's safe to say that Style isn't too involved in his story emotionally. When he cries, the crying is cringe and it's NOT because Dunk is a bad actor (far from it!!) but rather it's because Style the character isn't taking himself seriously here. This is also highlighted in the smug look and nod he shoots Fadel in the middle of his crying performance:
His behavior is very disrespectful, but I don't think he's being disrespectful on purpose. I think this is another one of his idiot boy moments where he is just really fucking stupid. Style is impulsive and doesn't think things through a lot and I think in this scene he is also so absorbed in his goal of getting to the bottom of Fadel and his mysteries that his tunnel vision on his goal prevents him from realizing the effect his actions can have on those around him, the consequences his behavior could bring. We saw it before that Style sometimes doesn't see things as much of a big deal as they actually are when he doesn't think much of texting while driving (as elaborated in my ep1 meta). Besides, his behavior has worked out pretty well for him all episode, with the worst consequence being Fadel simply just walking away from him, and Style even got to celebrate small victories like when Fadel made him a burger. So why would Style be changing his behavior now? There is no reason for Style to act differently, and so he continues to bug Fadel as usual and it genuinely doesn't occur to him that his behavior could be disrespectful or out of line.
Maybe if Style had had more time to dwell on the thought of Is Fadel here because he's lost someone? he might have realized that the situation was a lot more serious than he had originally thought and that his words/actions were gonna be out of line and that he shouldn't have been doing this, but alas that is not what happened. He didn't have the time and so he immediately gets distracted fabricating an elaborate story to answer the group leader's question and doesn't spend a single one of his brain cells thinking about his behavior and its consequences. He will soon learn about the consequences, though, because Fadel is seriously pissed now.
No. 13: Giving You What You Want (But Is It?)
Fadel is pissed and goes to confront Style in the privacy of a random storage room. Style is obviously lying to Fadel through his teeth. I do think there's some truth to it when Style says "I have my own problems. You’re not the only one" but whatever problems in life Style currently has (especially if there's anything connected to loss and grief), these problem's really aren't at the forefront of his mind right now. We know for a fact that Style is lying when he explains that he found the support group via the internet, that meeting Fadel was a coincidence and Fadel doesn't buy it either. What we, the audience, also know but what Fadel doesn't necessarily guess is that Style is also lying about how he is hitting on Fadel because he likes him and because he wants him. "Nothing more than that" he says, but as the audience we know that this is also bullshit because we know he was specifically sent by Kant and that a car is waiting for Style when he succeeds. What we also know, though, is that Style is definitely physically/sexually attracted to Fadel, so when Fadel offers to hook up with him, who is Style to say no?
I think this nc scene surprised a lot of us because it didn't go the way most of us were expecting it to go. As has already been pointed out in various posts by various people, Style is surprisingly passive during the entire act (at least, that we get to see). They have next to no eye contact, Style doesn't initiate a single kiss and barely touches Fadel except to hold him and to run his hand through Fadel's hair. But why is that?
Many a thing has already been said about this scene and about the characters' motivations and I don't think there is one specific interpretation that is the One Truth. I think many truths exist in this scene at the same time and there are many factors as to why the characters were acting the way they were acting. Emotions are complicated and sometimes you can have many of them simultaneously.
An interpretation that I haven't seen floating around yet is that part of Style's passiveness could also stem from the fact that he was caught off-guard. I don't think he was expecting Fadel to go Alright fine, have me, then. In fact, I think when Style told Fadel "I like you" and "I want you" those were mainly empty words again. Because this time he didn't seek out one of Fadel's usual places in order to to hit on him, but because he wants to find out the truth about Fadel, wants to figure out the reason why Fadel is so shady. But then he ended up pissing Fadel off who then promptly started a fight with him and Style needed to cover up his own intentions when he threw those words into Fadel's face. Style says "I want you", but he doesn't actually mean it in that moment and his actions do not reflect the I want to bang you sentiment at all either. We've all seen the sauna scene, we know how Style behaves when he actually wants to get into Fadel's towel pants. And this isn't it. So when Fadel suddenly and uncharacteristically does let Style get into his pants gets into Style's pants, I think that throws Style off and he momentarily doesn't know how to respond to the situation.
Plus, as @nnnn99999 writes in her meta, there is also the emotional disconnect. At this point of the story, neither of them is in love with the other just yet. Yes, there is mutual physical attraction and yes, by now Style has taken an interest in Fadel beyond the car, has started to develop positive feelings for Fadel and has at times actively enjoyed interacting with Fadel, but they still have their own motives and intentions and emotionally they simply just aren't quite on the same page yet. Style desires both body and heart, but both of their hearts simply aren't properly in it just yet. I don't think Style minds hooking up, he's definitely consenting to it and also enjoying it, but it's just not quite what Style dreams of, not like this. In a way, yes, it actually is what Style has dreamed of because his fantasies of Fadel doing things to him rather than him doing things to Fadel are now becoming reality, as @clemelntine beautifully explained in her meta, but in the real situation there's one important detail missing from Style's fantasy: the intense eye contact. In addition to Fadel's body, Style also wants that emotional connection. We've seen this times and times again whenever Style has tried to make friends as well as to genuinely bond with Fadel, and this desire extends also to the sex.
And lastly I want to leave you with @braceletofteeth's excellent tags on this post, which is something that I think also factors into why Style goes from being proactive to being passive in the blink of an eye:
#Fadel said he would give himself to Style #and Style let him do that #he barely touched Fadel except to hold him and caress his hair #he reciprocated the kisses but did not initiate them #he didn't try to take any more of Fadel than what Fadel willingly gave him #[head in hands]
During the entire nc part I kind of get the sense like Style is waiting. Waiting to see with a certain curiosity what Fadel will be doing next, what Fadel wants to do next, ready to happily take up whatever Fadel offers. Style is letting Fadel control the situation completely and doesn't push him once.
No. 14: Kiss or Slap?
Once again we see that Style isn't too much of a fan of casual hook-ups. And while I do think part of his motivations for saying the things he says and for trying to stop Fadel from abandoning him again is because making Fadel his boyfriend specifically rather than just hooking up with him is his goal here after all, but I do think that Style isn't lying this time. He's just a bit too annoyed when he asks "What kind of man do you take me for?" for it to be an act. I think he is genuinely offended that Fadel would think of him this way. And I think he's genuinely a little upset and hurt that Fadel is perfectly happy to sleep with him and to ditch him immediately after. We get foreshadowing to Style being very much Team Anti Hit-and-Run in episode 1 when he tells Fadel "It ain’t like me to hit and run" in the context of an actual car crash and earlier this episode when he laments "Oh, the nature of man. He will exploit you and then throw you away". Style is very much not happy with this turn of events and it's not purely because he hasn't yet completed the mission Kant has sent him on. We also get another hint of Style looking for a connection in his hook-ups in the way Style is looking at Fadel when they're getting dressed while in contrast Fadel has turned his back to Style completely, avoiding eye contact and avoiding any interaction:
Another thing that I want to point out is that Fadel says "I gave you what you wanted" and "We agreed on it" when Style tries to stop him from leaving. However, they didn't exactly agree on anything? Fadel started kissing Style before they could even come up with any terms and conditions and the thing is when Style said he wanted Fadel, he never said he wanted Fadel only once. And he also never said he wanted Fadel to run away immediately afterwards.
So Style puts up a fight. He firmly stands between Fadel and the door, blocking Fadel's way. Fadel threatens to punch Style if he doesn't move but Style refuses to stand down even though he knows very well from personally witnessing it that Fadel is perfectly capable of punching him if he wished to. Despite that, Style is not scared of Fadel. I think Style takes Fadel's sudden willingness to sleep with him as a sign that Fadel has finally developed some sort of positive feelings towards Style after all, too. And Style is confident enough about it that he trusts that Fadel wouldn't hurt him. When Style says "You like me" I don't think he necessarily means it in the sense of you're in love with me or you're crushing on me. I think he's calling out Fadel's change of heart (that is negative feelings turning into positive feelings) and is making it very clear just how confident he is about Fadel not hurting him. I'm not scared of you. I've become a positive presence in your life now. You wouldn't dare to injure me. It's a counterattack to Fadel's threat. But Fadel's trauma runs deep. And so he punches Style because giving him a bit of a beating is still better than risking to face the consequences of what might happen if he lets anyone get behind those thick high walls. And he punches Style also a little bit to put him in line for his cockiness.
And also, I may be a Style apologist and a Style enabler, but after that shit Style pulled at the group meeting that punch was totally deserved.
Please don't expect me to write a proper conclusion bc my brain is absolutely fried now bye <3
#the heart killers#fadelstyle#stylefadel#thk#thk ep3#my meta#thkmetamine#adrm#stylefadel meta#style meta#oooof this took me over a week to think about#3 days to write#and several hours to edit and proof-read#but hey at least i made it BEFORE ep 5 drops lmao#but now i'm behind on my ep4 meta#i don't think i'm making it by the end of tomorrow 😭😭😭#although who knows i mean i did manage to binge-write my very first meta post in a single night#fingers crossed!!#ep4 is a lot clearer to me than ep3 was and so i might be a little faster#anyway this was super fun to write!! bc i was struggling so much and it was fun trying to find answers#it was fun trying to find a coherent line through all this. through all of style's actions and behaviors#anyway it's 1am now and my head is swimming#i wanted to start writing the ep4 meta tonight as well but uh. not sure that's the best idea if i want it to actually make sense lmao#(btw this post is at 9.5k words lmao. that's roughly about the same as my ba-thesis)
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Hello! Fairly recent follower here who has been rabidly consuming your various post about P4/Adachi. Thank you for sharing so many cool scans/resources and for providing insightful analysis! I was wondering, have you ever written up anything about Adachi's relationship with Dojima and Nanako--and if not, would you mind sharing your thoughts? I keep seeing people say he doesn't actually care which is kind of wild to me!
Hi there! Glad you enjoy the content!
To date, I've only posted about his relationship with Nanako and Dojima once before, and it's a breakdown of the brief line when he first introduces himself to Nanako and the protagonist at the Dojima house.
This line was unfortunately completely different in English. The line was rewritten, the delivery is very flat and unplayful; Adachi sounds more like he feels threatened/scared of Dojima. But the Japanese voice acting and what he's saying (pretending to be Dojima's wife lol) and the situation made me feel that, even in April, Adachi must have had some level of rapport with Dojima.
Like you, I've also seen some insane shit. E.g. "At the hospital, I bet Adachi leans over Dojima's bed and whispers about how he hopes Nanako dies"??? What the hell that is an insane take LMAO. I've also seen people say that Adachi's arc in Arena Ultimax and what he says about Dojima in his narration means that Adachi got "woobified". Which, like, what?
Honestly, a lot of this also seems to go hand in hand with people not understanding the plot of Persona 4. Some people walk away from this game thinking that Adachi is the one who put Nanako into the TV (???), or that Adachi "picked" Nanako to be on the TV and thus targeted by Namatame (???). Thus, they interpret him to be more antagonistic towards Dojima and Nanako. Persona fans are not beating the "can't read, didn't play the game" allegations.
I think Adachi's relationship with Dojima and Nanako in the games can be described as, "Not really understanding what you have until it's too late". It's not something he necessarily sought out (e.g. he wants to be a hotshot detective with a hot wife, not "Dojima's Bud"), so he takes it for granted. After you beat up Adachi in the TV World and bring him out to Junes, his expression and inability to say anything when he finds out that Dojima hasn't completely given up on him really speaks for itself. And this continues into Arena Ultimax.
The 2010 Persona 4 audio drama also helps build upon his relationship with Dojima and Nanako. He is involved (and even pats himself on the back for his participation lol), yet at the same time, he also un-includes himself: When he tells the protagonist that he helped Dojima *spend time with his family*, it's like he is putting up a boundary between himself and them, counting himself outside of their family circle.
Golden further builds on this with his Social Link and his new interactions with Nanako. He clearly cares enough to watch his mouth around Nanako, catching himself before he says something that might upset her. Plus the extended letter he sends at the end, he really does spell out that, "Wow I kinda miss you all now huh funny how that works".
And if you've not seen it yet, the Adachi Q&A from the Stalker Club has some meta answers from Atlus regarding why Adachi took to Dojima when he first came to Inaba. I get the impression that Adachi is not a person who has many people that care about him, or feels like there aren't many. Thus the gestures Dojima showed him -- especially after a low point in his life, having been transferred to a small city and all -- probably meant a lot to him.
If you follow the line of thought about Adachi's cat / mouse game being bullshit, his real goal being ruining Namatame's life, and him not ever watching the Midnight Channel, then Adachi's Social Link seems complimentary to the sequence of events on November 5th.
Under this lens, it would mean that Adachi doesn't know Nanako was on TV, and he understands (or has assumed) that the Investigation Team have been saving people but he doesn't quite know the precise details. Naoto calls and reveals that Nanako is gone. Adachi shows some hesitancy towards Dojima jumping to action, and he's hesitant to let the Investigation Team go. But he does eventually cave and lets them leave. Not just because he wants them to find Namatame (which would be beneficial to him), but also because he now understands what's happened and knows that Nanako is in danger.
On the flip side, I'm not huge on the Golden anime's depiction of Adachi which puts a great deal of emphasis on his relationship with the Dojima family. While his relationship with them is certainly an undeniably important part of his character in general, the Golden anime changes his character in a way that I don't vibe with.
"Adachi willingly goes into the TV World without being exposed as the murderer due to feeling guilty about Nanako getting involved" is a very different character than "Dipshit suffocating in society while trying to get away with murder so he can still belong to society". Really, the Society!! thing, and how he just seems to feel stuck in the adult world; not advancing but not removing himself either, is a major factor as to why I like his character, and I feel that aspect of him was completely removed/downplayed/something for the anime.
Like, I found these 3 panels from the Persona 4 manga (which also adds in some emphasis on Adachi's relationship with Dojima and Nanako) to be more effective and poignant than whatever the Golden anime was trying to do. Even just the top panel by itself tells a story that someone might be able to discern things from without knowing anything about Persona 4. It is absolutely possible to depict this aspect of Adachi without fundamentally rewiring him.
Anyway this got long lol. Thanks for the ask!
#asks#persona 4#persona 4 golden#persona 4 arena ultimax#p4#p4g#p4au#p4u2#tohru adachi#ryotaro dojima#nanako dojima#persona 4 manga#persona 4 anime
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