#YOU GUYS NEED TO HEAR ME OUT ON THEM OK
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mycrowaved · 3 days ago
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the world isn't ready for this rarepair.. please hold back on your tomatos
martyn design —> @applestruda
grian design —> @morickkk
(pose is based off a madohomu fanart that i can't find the credits of but if i do i'll add them here!!)
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okawarihappylife · 2 months ago
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i am once again thinking abt the lost potential that is hypmic.
#i literally just messaged my friend abt this but stick w me#when nemu gets hypnotized we see her wanting to join the pow which. makes perfect clear sense even without hypnosis#shes shown through out all of tdd as hating unecessary violence and samatokis outburts due to their upbringing#and a political movement that (pretends to) erradicate all violence would interest her like. im just connecting dots here#and she joins because shes hypnotized and blah blah blah. boring. ok but what if. and hear me out.#the hypmic didnt completely overwrite the person but just made them act on their deepest desires#like i thinm my case w nemu is already presented but hear me out for my second contender. sasara#a man that became a thug on a whim because this guy reminded him of his ex. ok cool. what if we went harder on that#sasaras shown to be analytical and extremely cynical already. what if we just ignored canon for a bit#and focused on making his relationships a bit more fucked up. especially involving samatoki#sasaras drawn to him because samatoki fills the void that rosho left him. hes just smth he needs at the moment#but w my wonderful vision what if he grew tired of this fake. what if he had enough. hes not rosho he will never be#hes served his purpouse. but now sasaras stuck. in the middle of ikebukuro bashing some guys head w a pipe#AND THATS WHEN THE MIC COMES IN BABYYYYYYYYYYYYY#this was also brought to you by the fact that i want to see samatoki suffer. i want to see him at his most pathetic#i want him to come to the realization his best friend left him because he no longer fit his ideal vision#i want ACTUAL FUCKING CONFLICT FOR ONCE THAT ISNT SOLVED BY 'hey man. rappings fun' PLEASE#i want these bitches fucked up and in torment#uhhhh didnt think abt kuko w this au at all. idk yall do what you want w him#hypmic#hi main tag :3#‱txt#‱hypmic#‱idol nonsense
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nomairuins · 2 months ago
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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hikiclawd · 1 year ago
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sorry for disappearing for a minute i timetraveled back to 2020
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spontaneousmusicalnumber · 1 year ago
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Every time I have to settle for Wendy's over the restaurant I was planning to go to, I'm shunted into a fucking circus and my chances of escaping with a semblance of edible food is a toss up.
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truegoist · 2 years ago
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I want shido to turn out to be rllly insecure and shit
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charliesinfern0 · 1 year ago
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stupid fucking animation software compressing my files to shit for no reason
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yo9urt · 2 years ago
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ssshhhgggffhjjjjjhhgggvffsss
#mine#i still have a crush on my coworker -_-#we talked a lot today i got to know him more and we're getting like rly friendly with each other its really nice#but i URRRRGHH#also on thursday i asked him for music recs because i need them and he was like well what do u listen to#which is such a good question for him to ask and i peeked at his spotify when he had it open and he had like 50 billion playlists with#different genres and i was like !?!??!? what does this mean#but i didnt ask#anyway i was like ummm indie rock and other stuff#and we talked more about genres and stuff and then he was like u should try her's#and i was like oh i know her's harvey is one of my favorite songs and he was like i didnt think u would know them thats cool#but also harvey is (was) the only song by them that i knew so i took that recommendation and 1 or 2 others home with me and i was like ok#and i listened to songs by her's (thats the title of their first album) and it was surprisingly good#but also because music is my secret love language its hard to listen to some of the songs and not immediately think of him#and today he  urrrrgghh he just looked cute he had like a shirt under his work shirt that was kinda cute and he had this jacket he came in#wearing and wore it when he left too and it was like denim and i thought it was normal rough denim but i brushed against it while i was gett#getting ready in the bathroom and it was SOFT and i was like WHAT#also he smelled good again he pisses me off because he smells good every time he comes in and its like how are you doing that#and periodically over the last several days ive run into smells that are a little similar to whatever he has going on#or ill hear a voice that sounds vaguely like his or yesterday when i was out with my friends i saw a guy who looked kinda like him#and i just feel insane im like 9@*UL>$??@?#also i forgot to mention this but he looked very handsome in the denim jacket and it pissed me off#and we got to talk so much today and its like AUAUUUARGG. and at the end of my shift he was about to clock out#and i had just clocked out and i was going to refill my water and then leave and he stopped me#and he was like what shifts are u working next quarter and i was like uhhh blah blah blah#and it turns out we probably will not have shifts together which sucks especially because the reason we knew each other#at all before january is because we had shifts ''together'' (not really but we bumped into each other frequently) in the fall too#so its like. wtf. wheres my consistency. why cant i keep seeing my favorite coworker at our job. fuck this gay earth#hes fun to talk to too like he has a lot of silly strange and interesting stories and hes just like nice and fun and always says goofy shit#i feel like hes the type who just makes friends easily cause ive seen random customers talking to him too and hes just like kinda chill and
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evilkitten3 · 2 months ago
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ok so first this is an absolutely epic takedown of everything the first person said, but also i can draw a direct line to my mom, my brother, or myself in damn near everything she said
i'll start by saying that of the three of us, i'm probably the most notable outlier bc i lived the first 19 years of my life as a girl prior to coming out and i was diagnosed sometime around 4th-6th grade iirc, and not only that but my mom was alerted that i was having some kind of social issues as early as pre-school, so as far as (people who were born as) girls go, i would say i'm a bit of an outlier
(side note - to anyone who for whatever reason has been keeping strict track of the things i've said concerning my family who's suddenly wondering why i'm now lumping my mom in with my brother and i as autistic when i've almost certainly explicitly said otherwise, the reason is that she finally admitted it earlier this week. proud of you, mom! admittedly she didn't remember she'd denied it in the past bc we're all also adhders but that's a separate thing)
anyway! my brother is a textbook case of getting adhd diagnosed significantly prior to the autism diagnosis, and while my mom hasn't been diagnosed with either one (and probably won't be bc she doesn't see the need and doesn't need the validation and also it's not nearly as subtle as i think she might have thought it was bc mom that level of incredibly specific history knowledge and need to share it is not "a casual interest"), she's more or less in the same boat (if you replace "diagnosed" with "noticed")
i'm tired and also way more bored of typing this than i was when i started (oops) so i'll skip whatever else i was thinking about that i totally didn't just completely forget about haha nope not me and say that i also as part of my current job have been and will for a bit continue to interact with a lot of autistic and similar people, and many of the people i've met who have more support needs simply would not use almost any social media app i've seen, either due to lack of ability, lack of interest, or bc the apps are innocently inaccessible at best and incredibly hostile to diverse needs at worst
(also - and this is not something i'm qualified in any way to dive into but it is something i have heard about and believe is worth mentioning in the hopes that someone who is more qualified might choose to step in - concerning racial biases in diagnoses, black and latino children (particularly black boys and latino girls, i think? not sure about that at all) are very frequently diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder or odd instead of other more fitting diagnoses such as adhd, autism, bipolar disorder, etc. since - as this whole borderline essay has likely already made apparent through the privileges i've displayed both consciously and likely also not - i am white, this isn't something i've been directly affected by nor something i paid much attention to until relatively recently. but i do think it's worth acknowledging and keeping in mind when discussing diagnostic biases)
an eloquent take down of the "people are self diagnosing autism to be trendy and for attention" take that morons have been echoing on tiktok
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oh fuck lovebomb started playing and it set off my fight or flight instincts
#my post#i hear that opening Wom Wom Wom Wom and sit up straight in a cold sweat#i still hear it in my dreams sometimes#i captain chip do solemnly swear to fuck shit up to help those in need and to be the best goddamn pirates anyone has ever seen we need to#get these pirates inside now did we ever get a name for what theyre called the riptide pirates BAAANANANANANANANNANANANANAA hey guys check#this out YES whos laughing now fuckers fuck you ok if anyone can clear the gauntlet its the riptide pirates get to the center of the prison#thats your out we need to hget him out of here is he even still alive its worth a shot BLOW YOU AWAY gillion youre not actually the chosen#one chip i think youre irresponsible and incompetent and honestly youre a danger to everyone around you chip arlins probably dead and you#need to move on and live for yourself and your own destiny jay i think youre ugly and no one will ever love you gillion i think this place#is playing more than one trick on us its not us chip its this place stay back dont make me do this do what you have to hey there little nei#wait a fucking minute wait drey who put you in here it wasnt one of hey brother you have a lot of explaining to do but come and maybe ill#let them go and what if i dont come with you youd rather be a pirate then i will show you what youre up against you wanna take on a pirate#im right here stop please just stop if i come with you will you let them leave we swore an oath chip its gonna be okay discipline them jay#you wanna know my secret so bad chip i convinced the navy to let me go undercover i was just using you i dont care what you were before thi#youre a riptide pirate now what do you really want jay and just say it so i can fight for it i wanna keep adventuring with you guys gill#thats all i want right now jay because you are my duaghter i will give yoy a headstart but when i catch you you will no longer be a daughte#to me just another piratee BAAAHHH gill youre not going down that easy buddy were not leaving you behindAUAGDSHGH jay my anme is jay ferin#co captain of the riptide pirates im gonna trust my friends were gonna fuck shit up im gonna be the best goddamn pirate youve ever seen#i dont doubt it sureshot
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gallavichsreddie1128 · 3 months ago
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FWB to Lovers w/ Logan
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Description: How Y/N and Logan went from Fuck buddies to Lovers
Warning: Dirty talk
Ever since Y/N, Wade and Logan saved the timeline it has been a known thing that Logan and Y/N had tension and Wade always made it known: “UGH just fuck already Disney can just cut it out of the film.” “What?” 
Y/N tried to hide her feelings at first knowing that Logan probably wanted someone his age and not a younger woman with little to no experience. Boy was she wrong: “Wade’s right. We should fuck.” 
Though he said that drunk, Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about it. She was sure he wouldn’t remember saying that but the never next day when she just stared at him a little too long she was up against the wall in a second: “We need to hurry before Wade gets back.” 
He was huge compared to her and the size kink was real. For his age he had a nice body and a dick that hit all her special spots: “Fuck. I didn’t even know that spot could be reached.”
He took her on everything in that house. The couch, the wall, the beds (even Wade’s), shower, counter and even on a chair. Wade found out and his reaction wasn’t even surprising: “You guys can’t just fuck on my bed and not let me watch.” 
Y/N was falling hard for the man and Wade could tell. Her stares were no longer just filled with lust but love. She looked at him like he was the whole world and more: “OMG is the Y/N falling in love?” “Shut up!”
Logan was too and that showed when he found out that Y/N and Wade had slept together before. Though Y/N and Logan weren’t together and only supposed to be FWB, He got extremely jealous: “YOU GUYS HAVE SLEPT TOGETHER?” “Duh. Have you seen us? Two hot people fucking is the norm.” 
Y/N and Wade both found it odd that he got mad about that given it was 2 years ago and before any of this. Logan stormed off to his room ignoring them calling his name. Wade looked at Y/N with a knowing look: “Seems like your pussy is a love potion and he had too much of it.” 
Though it wasn’t the best idea, Wade went to talk to him about it. Y/N almost wanted to do it herself but Wade offered and said that he wouldn’t crack jokes about the situation: “Listen peanut, I understand that you have a bad boy reputation to stick too but that hard on you’re showing says you enjoyed the thought of it.” “WADE GET OUT!” 
Y/N couldn’t sleep that night. Her mind was on Logan and how he just stormed out of the room after hearing that they fucked. Did he love her back? She needed to know. She walked to his door and knocked, not caring if he was asleep or not: “Do you love me?” “Y/N, It’s 3 am.” 
He did in fact love her and he should’ve shown it better. Wade always wanted to get under his skin and that’s probably why he mentioned that: “I said that to get you two together. It’s annoying to see you guys act like Blind AL trying to find something.” 
Ok Wade maybe a little too far?
Both of them were idiots for not just admitting how they felt but now it was worth it in the end and Wade was to thank: “I’m not thanking you with Tacos!” “Well aren’t you just ungrateful?”
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dqrkdreams · 2 years ago
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the radfem koolaid of every country’s men oppressing their women but also having their own problems while doing so.
idk if cis women are aware of this but u can actually talk abt how difficult it is to be a woman living under patriarchy without wildly misrepresenting the experiences of men living under the patriarchy. i’m watching a comedy special where a thin white woman just said that men aren’t affected by weight gain and i would like to know on what planet being a man protects you from the disgusting and deadly culture of fatphobia we’ve cultivated. i would like to know on what fucking planet a thin white woman is more affected by gaining an inch around her waist than a fat man having to deal with being dismissed by doctors, passed over for jobs, and treated horrendously by fellow human beings. like. trust me, i lived as a woman for almost three decades and still am seen as a woman, i understand the urge to vent about the patriarchy. but you can so easily do that without completely ignoring intersectionality or speaking on experiences you don’t understand or quite frankly don’t care about.
#y’all truly make radfems out to the like the only smart ones#so when you guys said you hated all white people or when you hear people say that#why don’t you get mad? why don’t you hear all the disabled and poor and trans ppl their hating when they say that?#why is that ok?#why do you see white people as actually oppressors and not men. and why do the ppl who see both as both called nazis?#lol. there’s no logic here.#saying men are oppressors on the axis of gender/sex means you think nothing and ever happens to them apparently#knowing my boy child could get shot by racist police apprently absolves my critical thinking about how his daddy feels empowered to beat me#both black and male. one a victim bc of race the other the aggressor because of sex#oh brother i want every person who believes in misandry and who truly thinks men as a group need a victim campaign#to travel to another country ONCE. but tbh they’ll probably call that ableism and say they’re bedridden#and how they can’t get off tumblr politics or else their adhd will start acting up#you all are the minority in how you think and for good reason. i fear where women would be if the current stats aren’t enough to garner#sympathy for cis women before cis men on the axis of oppression#also now when a white leftist queer person says they hate white people i’m going to ask why they hate trans and disable ppl#since you all play dumb and act like that’s what ppl mean when they express disdain towards men#black people who hate white people are now problematic bc black women could be the bad guys in a neurodivergent white man’s story#that’s how the logic went in the post right? intersectionality doesn’t mean sims oppressed ppl can still oppress it means#no one can ever be seen as oppressive ever except for a group of ppl that don’t exist (white rich able bodied masculine cishet no trauma#no mental illness having. no feelings or emotions having men)#good job usleftists politics! y’all are so smart
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cutieln4 · 28 days ago
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Kiss and Makeup | LN4 smau
lando norris x reader
summary: you are lando norris's makeup artist
fc: isabela merced
yourusername added to their story
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caption: my face after waking up at 4 am to do ppl’s makeup
yourusername
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yourusername my life recently
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yourbsf you’re GLOWING babe
mclaren check DMs!
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caption: New stuff coming soonđŸ€­
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user1 oh wow he's so handsome
user2 OMG IM SO HAPPY
user3 YAY NEW LANDO CONTENT
mclaren
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mclaren Some new bags have been released with our partnership with Tumi, check them out below!
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user1 he's so—HJQHSJCHJW
user2 wow😋
user3 i want to bite him
user4 I NEED HIM SO BAD
user5 anything you say sweetheart😍
user6 #needthat
user7 i'll cook and clean the dishes just one chance plsss
yourusername
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yourusername it was nice doing something else! thanks for having me! @/mclaren
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yourbsf remember me when you're famous😔
user1 IM SO JEALOUS
mclaren thanks for joining us!
user2 how does one get this job
landonorris thanks for letting me look at all ur powders!
yourusername haha ofc, anytime!
user3 OMG LANDO COMMENTED
user4 lando commented what does this meannnnnnn
landonorris
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landonorris gearing up for the next race
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user1 P1 i see the vision
user2 i love that helmet
magui_corceiro good luck!
user3 letsssgoo
yourusername good luck!
landonorris thank you! ;)
user4 đŸ€š
user5 ?????
yourusername
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yourusername anyway i also have a life
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yourbsf body is tea tho
yourbsf GORGEOUS
user1 face card never declines
user2 i fear you are serving
landonorris pretty
yourusername thank you😊
user3 OHHHHH
user4 RIZZ?????
user5 oh to have lando norris call me pretty
user6 guys is this the start of something new?
user7 alright chill out zac efron
GQ
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GQ Racing, gaming, and padel, hear all about Lando Norris in his interview here
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user1 WOWZA
user2 another photoshoot? please tell me y/n was his makeup artist
user3 ZOO WEE MAMAïżœïżœ
user4 lando has been feeding us lately
user5 i can't handle this anymore
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caption: bros messing up the makeup😐
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user1 IM SO JEALOUS
user2 soooo are yall dating or what?
landonorris oops?
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landonorris
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landonorris that's more like it
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user1 LANDO NORRIS 2X GRAND PRIX WINNER
user2 absolute domination today
user3 congrats!!
yourusername invite me next time?
landonorris yes ma'amđŸ«Ą
user4 WHAT DOES THIS MEANNNNN
user5 im sick of them
maxfewtrell put a shirt on mate
user6 no we don't mind😊
yourusername
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yourusername who is this diva????
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user1 HELP I LOVE HER
user2 my b pose is naaastyyy
user3 he's so handsome
landonorris it's not too late to delete
yourusername but what fun is that???
user4 🚱🚱🚱
user5 so so jealous
user6 is she just like his permanent makeup artist now lol?
yourusername yeah he kidnapped me
landonorris for legal reasons this is a joke😑
user7 OMG
tumitravel
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tumitravel Lando Norris for TUMI
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user1 ok i'll buy the bag
user2 does lando come with the bag???
user3 yn is one lucky girl
user4 love how y'all just assume their dating
user3 well yes
user5 HOLY MOLY
yourusername wow whoever did his makeup must be really good
landonorris meh shes okay
user6 stop i love them
lando.jpg
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user1 HELP WHOS CAT IS THAT
user2 who u making heart pizza with??đŸ€š
user3 if i say what i wanna say they'll silence me
user3 they're so dating
user4 đŸ€«
yourusername aw cute cat
landonorris thx :)
user5 let me just sit back and observe
user6 yesss lando.jpg revival finally
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user1 where ya going?🙂
yourbsf gonna miss u when ur in singapore :(
user2 y'all so cute idec if you're dating or not
landonorris
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landonorris sing a pore
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user1 bruh
user2 hard launch on live tv goes crazy
user3 bro's just gonna ignore that EVERYONE saw that kiss
yourusername you can't keep a secret to save your life
landonorris oopsđŸ€­
yourusername you're lucky ur cute
user4 CONFIRMATION YES
user5 WAR IS OVER
user6 I WAS HERE
user7 okay but that was so fricking cute
yourusername
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yourusername muppet🙄
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user1 HELP
landonorris i said i was sorry pls
landonorris sorry again😁😁😁
landonorris where did you get these photos
user2 nahh that's crazy
user3 okay now i'm definitely jealous
user4 this is literally a wattpad story like wdym she's his makeup artist and now they're dating???
yourbsf i'd like to thank beyoncé
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add yourself to my taglist here!
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lowkeyren · 4 months ago
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NOT EVERYONE KNOWS!
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in which — being in a secret relationship with them but they’re all idiots
featuring — dan feng, blade, jing yuan (separately) x gn!reader
wc: total 2.6k, from event req: here!, debut fic for my milestone event yippee, they keep fumbling but it’s ok cus they’re hot, reblogs w comments are appreciated, please enjoy!! <3
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#DAN FENG
+ wait
 since when are you guys married?!
dan feng? i just know he’s gonna mess this shit up so badly. he’s the high elder, but also the epitome of boyfailure. he really can’t help it, those terms of endearment just slip out so easily when you're by his side.
and it doesn’t stop there. he’s completely oblivious to the shocked silence and wide-eyed stares from others; for example, he might be holding your hand absentmindedly while discussing serious matters, and only snaps back to reality when you cough awkwardly.
but unfortunately, it’s not that simple when the gang (re: high cloud quintet) find out about your relationship. disclaimer: chaos ensues
dan feng immediately sits up upon seeing you enter the room, a fresh batch of tea brewing in hand. the discussion among the group gradually fades into the background as his eyes trail your figure while you carefully pour tea into each person’s teacup.
the piquant aroma fills his senses, and he can’t stop a small smile from creeping across his face when you take a seat next to him. he takes a sip, the delicate flavor enveloping his taste buds, leaving behind a delightful aftertaste that lingers long after the tea is swallowed. 
“—thus we require a substantial amount of time, speaking of which, anything on your end dan feng?” 
he finds himself watching you out of the corner of his eye. “imbibitor lunae
?” and it’s almost impossible for him to tear his gaze away from you. 
“hello? dan feng?” he snaps back to reality, blinking a few times before processing the initial question. “a-ahem, yes. darling, could you pass me the report?” he says, turning to your side.
the room falls silent, and a shocked gasp escapes from baiheng's mouth before jingliu clasps a hand over it; jing yuan shifts in his seat, exchanging a bewildered glance with yingxing. 
“hm..? did you forget to bring it?” his tone is soft and gentle, a stark contrast to the shocked expression on everyone’s face. “are you alright my dear? your face is quite red, do y—”
before he can finish, you manage to find your voice, trying to mask your embarrassment with a strained smile. “no, i didn’t forget the report, and i’m perfectly fine
  though our friends might need a minute to recover.” 
baiheng, still wide-eyed, blurts out, “hold on, are you guys
 in a relationship?” 
dan feng blinks in confusion ”oh, did i forget to mention that part?” —to which you hear someone across the table audibly facepalm. 
you sigh, voice strained but laced with amusement, “i can’t believe you never told them we got married.” your words are followed by the sound of a cup shattering on the floor.
“wait
 since when are you guys married?!” you pat jingyuan’s back, trying to stifle a laugh. “since last year.”
“seriously, and you never thought of telling us.”
“it was an honest mistake, yingxing.” dan feng replies, crossing his arms defensively.
baiheng shakes her head, “an honest mistake? like forgetting to water your plants, not like forgetting to tell us you got married!”
“well congratulations, i suppose. though a heads-up would’ve been nice.” jingliu manages a wry smile, though she internally cringes at baiheng’s exaggerated (or not) reaction, opting to just let her be. 
"sorry, it slipped my mind.” dan feng's nonchalant shrug only serves to further fuel jingyuan's irk, his eye visibly twitching; yingxing lets out a groan, still reeling from the revelation. you can’t help but chuckle softly at the scene unfolding, taking a sip of your tea. 
“you weren’t planning to tell us at all?!”
"honest mistake."  you can tell he’s just teasing his friends by the way a small smirk appears on his face as he attempts to hide it behind his teacup. (you nearly had to restrain baiheng as she tried to leap over the table.)
well, it seems like you’re not going to get anything done today.
#BLADE
+ easy, just buy me a nice ring and leave the lying part to me.
please. if you had a penny for every time blade almost exposes that you’re dating, you’d have three pennies. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened thrice. 
the first time was when he received a call from you while in the car with firefly. he answered almost immediately, without realizing that wearing earphones does not necessarily mean he isn't able to be heard in real life, just that others can’t hear what he’s listening to. 
“went to boomerville n the locals said they knew u” —silverwolf, probably.
second was when someone confessed their feelings to you, and he “instinctively” jumped in to say you have a husband. "what husband? i don't see a ring on your finger." so now, that same man won't stop asking you about this so-called “husband” (that doesn’t exist). 
and third time, well we’ll see.
“are you sure you don’t want me to kill him.” 
you huff out in annoyance, “this wouldn’t even be an issue if you hadn’t mentioned i had a husband.” sighing, you push yourself off the bed and turn to face your boyfriend.
“...that aside, how exactly do you plan on handling him?” blade raises an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his gaze. “easy! just buy me a nice ring, and leave the lying part to me.”
if blade hadn’t seriously considered taking care of the man before, he certainly seems determined to do so now. “hey what’s with that reaction
”
blade’s eyes narrow as he takes in your response. “a ring huh, what are you going to do with it?” you roll your eyes, trying to stifle a smile. “what else? pretend i have a husband.” 
he sighs, “is this really the best solution you can come up with?” (he really doesn't like the idea of you having a husband
that isn’t him, fake or not)  “yup!” you reply with a grin, “i’ll be eagerly awaiting the ‘surprise’!” with that, you plant a quick kiss on his cheek and swiftly exit the room.
oh you’re lucky he loves you. (even though this is totally, 100% his fault)
—
“hmm, bladie? why the sudden interest in jewellery?” kafka smirks, curiosity dancing in her eyes. blade chooses to stay silent, picking out the most expensive ring; and kafka’s expression only broadens with amusement as she watches his intense scrutiny of the display.
“planning something special, are we?” she teases, leaning closer. “or are you just trying to impress someone?”
blade finally glances up, his face inscrutable. “just taking care of business.” he replies tersely, slipping the ring onto the counter along the pile of designer jackets. 
“right
 well, i’ll be interested to see how this turns out.”
—
“what?” the man in front of you asks, his confusion evident. 
you tilt your head slightly, trying to gauge his reaction. “you seem surprised. did you think i was joking?” you casually brush a strand of hair away, subtly flaunting the ring to him —and to any onlookers; trying not to crack a smile when you hear a loud gasp followed by a flurry of hushed whispers.
he grits his teeth, clearly embarrassed and humiliated by the commotion. “i didn’t expect you to be married
 especially since you never wear the ring.”
“or is it that you’re not all that attached to your husband?” the audacity of this man
 just as you’re at a loss of words, a firm hand grips the man’s shoulder from behind.
blade yanks the man back, and away from you. “you’re pushing your luck.”  the sudden motion causes the man to stumble, his face pale with a mix of surprise and fear.
“w-who the hell are you?!” the man’s voice trembles as he tries to regain his composure. meanwhile, you notice a crowd beginning to form around you, with some people eagerly pulling out their phones to record the escalating drama.
“leave, now.” you can tell blade’s patience is wearing thin, dangerously so.
the man’s eyes narrow in defiance. “why should i? you’re the one to talk when you’re hiding behind a disguise.” blade pins the man with a steely gaze, his intense stare making the man stiffen under its weight.
but what you didn’t expect was for blade to turn around, remove his mask and letting it dangle from one ear; he then raises your hand to his lips, placing a tender kiss upon it.
the man’s face immediately drains of colour, and the crowd around you erupts into a cacophony of gasps and murmurs. you’re not sure whether he's more shocked by blades' bold gesture or by the fact that a notorious criminal is standing right in front of him. (its the latter)
the man, now visibly shaken, scrambles away, yelling out a “sorry!” before disappearing into the crowd. blade pulls you away, ignoring the flashes of cameras and ducks into a nearby alley.
the next morning, you wake up to a barrage of notifications on your phone. you discover the group chat flooded with messages from your friends.
“@barcodewrist @[you] explain yourselves”
“Bladie, so that was what the ring was for~” 
“bro i cant believe this old ass man has rizz”
you quickly type out a message asking for context, in which you only receive a link from silverwolf. as you click in, you can’t help but wish you can unsee what’s on the screen.
“‘YOUR NAME’, IDENTIFIED IN ASSOCIATION WITH STELLARON HUNTER ‘BLADE’: WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE. BOUNTY SET AT 3.5 BILLION.” and attached below is a video of what transpired yesterday. 
“great” you mutter under your breath, “not only am i dating a wanted criminal, now i'm one too.” you shoot a quick message to the group chat “any tips on staying out of trouble when your boyfriend’s a fugitive? asking for a friend... and my sanity.”
on the bright side, at least you’ll be greeted by a very pleased blade, now publicly acknowledged as your husband —oh and don’t question the second ring on your finger.
#JING YUAN
+ stop you're not allowed to smile at me like that. / like what?
how do i even start. he’s so smug, please throw a rock at him and wipe that “:3” off his face.
you really do sometimes wonder if jing yuan ever truly intended to keep this relationship a secret, especially by how he practically transforms into a lovesick puppy whenever you’re within a 10 meter radius. 
goodluck because he's also such a tease, an insufferable one. despite that, you can’t deny there’s something endearing about how he always seems to light up when you’re around, his constant teasing remarks making it harder to stay mad whenever you call him out for being “too lax”. 
after all, he may be a headache, but he’s your headache —one that comes with a hefty dose of affection and a penchant for making every single moment spent together memorable.
being the general’s secretary, and his lover isn’t an easy job. 
you’re focused on the task before you; reviewing documents, scheduling meetings, coordinating logistics for high-stakes missions —ensuring no crucial information slips through the cracks. 
but you can’t help but feel a pair of eyes boring into you. it’s a subtle sensation, a weight that pulls your awareness away from the task at hand. you glance up from your desk, only to be met by jing yuan’s gaze, fixed on you with an intensity that makes your pulse quicken.
“jing yuan, what are you doing?” you ask, but he doesn’t answer. though a smile slowly spreads across his face as he continues to watch you. his overwhelming stare makes it difficult to concentrate

and worse? he looks utterly and hopelessly in love.
“stop, you're not allowed to smile at me like that.” the words come out softer than intended; he leans in slightly, the warmth in his expression only deepening.
“and why not?” he asks, his voice carries a hint of amusement. the twinkle in his eyes suggests that he knows exactly what he’s doing, and it only adds to your annoyance. 
“because” you reply, trying to sound exasperated, “you’re looking at me as if you’re in love with me or something!” —and your handsome face makes it impossible to focus.
jing yuan’s smile only widens, clearly enjoying your reaction. “is that so? i didn’t realise my smile had such an effect on you.” (you hope his pants catch on fire because he’s obviously lying about being unaware of the effect his presence has on you)
“and i am in love with you.” 
that, in fact, did not ease the fluttering in your chest. “shh!” you quickly cover his mouth with your hand; you hold your grip for a moment longer, feeling the warmth of his breath against your palm.
“hmm
 so i can't even look at my beloved partner now?” his voice comes out slightly muffled and distorted due to your playful assault on his face. you give his cheek one last, harsh pinch before finally letting him go.
you heave a sigh of relief once you’re sure no one heard anything, you loosen your grip but keep your palm resting on his face. with a playful pinch, you squeeze his cheek. “you tease!” you furrow your brows, though a small smile tugs at your lips despite your effort to remain stern.
you shake your head with a smile, “do you have any idea how hard it is to stay focused when you’re looking at me like that?” the admission slips out before you can stop it, and you feel a flush rise to your cheeks.
“i know,” he replies with a grin, “and i wouldn’t change a thing.”
jing yuan rests his chin on his hand, his elbow propped up on your desk; the warmth of his gaze and the cheeky grin on his face makes it hard to stay frustrated at him. 
“you’re impossible,” you say with a mock scowl, though your tone carries a lighthearted edge. “but it’s also hard to stay mad at you.”
he chuckles softly, clearly pleased with your reaction. he leans in a bit more, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “oh? then would you like to head out—”
“you wish.” you cut him off with a deadpan look, “that stack of papers has been sitting there since this morning, and it’s not going to magically sort itself out.”
you gesture toward the mountain of documents on your desk, which has only grown throughout the day. he sighs, settling himself comfortably into the seat beside you. you pick up your pen as you try to regain your focus again amidst the lingering warmth of his presence.
this time, you really do consider throwing a rock at him when his head falls on your shoulder as he dozes off just five minutes later.
but hey, at least he makes it clear that he’s head over heels for you, even if it comes with a side of embarrassment, and a few near heart attacks. 
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MASTERLIST ; EVENT M.LIST
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mv1simp · 3 months ago
Text
Earned It ♄
Max Verstappen x Wife! Reader
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cause girl you’re perfect, you’re always worth it (I see nobody, nobody but you)
The story of how you met your husband, Max Verstappen, is a fan favourite. A classic rags to riches Cinderella story - well, in this case, a working class med student with an outrageous loan meets F1 multimillionaire. For years, you two dodge the questions of having kids, due to your busy careers. But lately, your husband can’t stop thinking about a 3rd addition to your family
and no, he didn’t mean another cat.
Content includes: 18+ MDNI, fluff, humour, pregnancy, angst but happy ending, very brief description of sexual harassment (not from Max obviously), simp!Max, brat! reader, smut, size kink, breeding kink (very versatile from me for once), 5.7k WC
Guys, seriously, we’ve talked about this behaviour, you need to be tidier. You look up from your comfortable position on the couch, where you’re typing away one of your research projects, to see your darling husband gently scolding your three pets. You muffle your laughter with your hand, 20karat diamond ring glinting, admiring his toned build as he stands with his hands on his slim hips, reprimanding the two cats - Sassy and Jimmy - and labrador Arlo about the mess they’d made on the patio. Hearing your giggles as you fail to contain yourself, Max turns around, grinning at the pretty sound. All done, schat? Want to go out for some lunch?
You hmm in agreement, standing up to stretch and walking over to him with a cheeky expression. But first I need you to explain just what you’re doing here. You know they can’t understand you right, babe?
Max immediately tells your three so called “kids” to ignore your blasphemous words, making you giggle again at what a dork your husband was. No one would ever guess how sweet and domestic he was with you, compared to the ferocious lion he was when terrorising his rivals on the track. It is a very serious matter, schat, Max says indignantly. You’d let them get away with murder. I’m the only one who upholds any discipline in this household.
You stand on your tippy toes to kiss him lovingly on the cheek to appease him, batting your eyelashes innocently as you say sorry, baby, shall I make it up to you? and any annoyance Max had slips away as he pulls your petite frame against his much larger one to press a kiss to your lips instead. You two had been married for almost two years now, and dating for six before that, but you simply can’t get enough of each other - even now, as your innocent kiss deepens into a steamy make out session that has you panting and grinding against your husband’s thick thighs as he squeezes your plush ass with his large hands. You’re just about to ask him to carry you to the bedroom when your on-call phone rings, signalling an emergency at the hospital. Sorry, baby you say, apologising genuinely this time with a guilty look. I have to get this, go ahead and eat and I’ll make us some dinner when I’m back, ok?
Max reassures you that you have nothing to worry about, and that he’d make dinner of course, you’re going to be tired after sorting out an emergency. Your heart swells at how thoughtful he is of you and your busy career. You give him one last quick kiss before speeding out the door, scrubs on and barking orders over the phone already.
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Admittedly, it hadn’t always been like this. When you had started dating, Max had been the considerably busier one - at the peak of his racing career and collecting multiple world championships as if it were child’s play. And the way you met was a classic dinner party story - F1 driver crashes his Ferrari into studious med student. It was hotly debated as to whether the fault lay with him for illegally going 80 in a 40 zone, or with you for walking with your nose buried in a textbook. Regardless, his insane reflexes had slammed on the brakes just in the nick of time to stop any real damage happening, but your textbook had gone flying in the air and straight on top of a passing truck, disappearing for good. You’d been devastated by the loss of it, more concerned with your upcoming final exam rather than any bodily harm, and as Max sprinted out from his car to worriedly ask if you were okay you’d whirled around angrily.
He was immediately struck with your natural beauty, with your pretty caramel skin and full lips and dark curls. Then he realized you were furiously pointing a finger at him and roasting his driving skills. Watch were you’re going! God, what is it with you boy racers speeding through the tiny side streets?
What?! Boy racer? Oh, Max was not going to let this grave insult slide, yelling back that he was a World-class driver, thank you, and you were the one who needs to watch where you’re going cause who reads and walks, that’s just dumb-
You cut him off, demanding to know who he worked for. Uber? Lyft? Monaco Taxi Incorporated? I’ll be sure to leave a scathing Google review, you said hotly.
Max had now realized you had absolutely no clue who he was, so basically he just looked like a complete dickhead - including to all the passerbys who gawked at the incriminating scene of the 6 foot Dutchman childishly arguing with a 5 foot, pouting girl. Deflating, he offers you his insurance information but you rolled your eyes and walked off, muttering about the goddamn Monaco elite in their Ferrari taxis.
He’d forgotten all about you until 6 months later, when he and Lando end up in the emergency department after a padel game gone wrong, only to find you pulling back the curtain - looking for Max, wait, Uber driver Max?! You’d narrowed your gorgeous doe eyes at him, then demanded to know if he was here cause he’d gotten in another hit and run. It was not a hit and run, that is an incredibly misleading statement, Max hissed, ignoring Lando’s goggle eyed stare, cause why on earth was his mate arguing with the pretty doctor who thought he drove for Uber and not F1 World Cup winning team Redbull-
The third time you had run into each other, at a charity ball where both your employers were sponsors, Max was convinced it was fate. Either that, or you were a crazy stalker. But he was, like, 98% sure it was fate as he felt his heart race at the sight of you in a fitted red silk dress and gold stilettos, your short frame still not even brushing his chin. This time round, you knew who he really was, and had an embarrassed flush on your pretty face as you said you know, you could have corrected me, it was a very awkward lunchbreak that day when the nurses starting asking if I’d gotten your signature.
He laughed, finding you adorable, and held out his hand for you to shake, grinning Let’s start over then, shall we? You’d easily returned the gesture, an undeniable spark running up both your arms as you touched. And a few months later, at the exact street where you first met, he pulled out a copy of your missing textbook that you excitedly took, laughing that he remembered only to gasp as you open it to see his messy scrawl - Thanks for not suing me, want to be my girlfriend instead of my victim? And the rest had been history, with you two now blissfully married years later.
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Sure, you had your fair share of ups and downs, just like any couple did. Before your marriage, Max’s busy career meant that he was away more often than not, and although it helped that you had a busy life yourself, he knew you missed having him there at home after a long day or by your side at friends’ weddings where you’d have to attend solo. But you never complained, never asked for more because you understood that at this time of his life, his career would be first priority, and always supported him with diligently made meal preps, looking after his cats when he went away, and late night debriefs after arguments with his demanding father, your soothing voice helping calm down the burning anger in his chest.
And although you couldn’t attend every race like the other WAGs, you’d always do your very best to make it. He still grins when he remembers his last Monaco race, where you’d gotten held up in emergency surgery and had sprinted straight to the track, not having time to change into the Chanel outfit you’d sweetly picked out the night before (from a very large pile Max had generously insisted you fund with his black Amex). You’d made it just in time to see him cross the line in P1, and the pictures of you happily crying for his win as you jumped into his arms, still in your scrubs, long curls flying as he whirled you around went absolutely viral on social media. He was glad for it too, because you received so much online hate for not always being dressed like a model and by his side at every event - and knew that deep down, you felt guilty about it, even though it was such an unfair double standard. So he’d framed that famous shot of you and hung it in the entryway, so it would be the first thing everyone would see when they walk in, and understand why Max’s heart swelled with pure love and adoration whenever he looked at you.
So when he had gotten his fill with his eight - eight! - world championships and wanted to spend his Sunday mornings waking you up with his skilled tongue in between your soft thighs instead of on a racing track halfway across the world, he had promptly quit F1 - to the outrage of his father and thousands of fans - and stepped back to coach his own team instead. It was quite an accomplishment, you had thought amusedly when reading the headlines that year, to be known as the woman who had "seduced Max Verstappen to retire and become her trophy husband". Of course, Max stood for none of the media circus, retaining his infamous status as Mad Max when he openly shut down that storyline in a media statement that had blown up, making it clear that this had always been his plan and he would not be tolerating any slander of his beautiful wife whom he loved very much - who, by the way, was now the associate head of the emergency department, had they heard?
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As time passed the fans eventually relaxed and enjoyed the new talent that came on, with your husband still a common figure on the paddock as coach. He'd had more time these past two years to look after you now - cooking your favourite meals and meeting you on the hospital rooftop for lunch and making all the nurses blush at how romantic your husband was, picking you up from a late shift in his Ferrari, taking you jewellery shopping in Paris one weekend then stiletto shopping in Milan the next with all your bags in his hands and his Amex in yours, and listening attentively in the living room as you practised your powerpoints on Intracranial Haemorrhage: Do early CAT scans change mortality rates? Your personal favourite gift, though, had to be when he'd brought home a 2 month old golden labrador as your birthday present. You'd always wanted a dog but had never had time for one on top of his two cats - but now, with Max home more often, he was able to look after all 3 of your kids, as you both affectionately referred to them.
And speaking of kids - the topic was something that had increasingly come up over the family events and meetups with friends you two went to. Of course, when it had first been asked, the two of you had dismissed it given there was simply no time with your careers. You religiously used contraception - with you on the pill and Max using condoms everytime. At one point, though, you both realised you rather enjoyed doing it raw - when the condom had broken after a particular rough session post 6th WDC win. Max still remembered your blushing face as he came down from what had been one of the most intense orgasms of his life, already addicted to the feeling of spilling inside you. You had bit your lip, shyly saying you know Maxie, the pill is 99% effective, I don't think we need to use condoms anymore-
He'd cut you off with a pleased growl, sealing his lips back onto yours for Round 2 as the thought of getting to fill you up every night sent all the blood rushing to his cock. Safe to say, there hadn't been a box of condoms in your home for a very long time. But as time passed after your marriage, Max started to feel an unfamiliar desire simmer in his gut everytime he saw you playing with his nieces and nephews, or when he would be showing Daniel's toddler how to operate a racekart, or when he’d finish inside you, watching your eyes roll back in pleasure, and wonder what would happen if you weren’t on the pill. He avoided saying anything as your answer to the kids? question at Family Xmas was still not right now.
But lately he hadn't been able to deny the aching yearn he felt any longer, and especially not when you two had been celebrating Charles' and Alex's pregnancy announcement on their yacht last weekend. You'd looked so happy for the couple, congratulating Alex on her glow and admiring the ultrasound pictures but all Max could think about was how amazing he was sure you'd look carrying his child, how he wanted to have your baby scans on the fridge door and argue over names, how he was sure you would be the most amazing mother to his kids and he couldn’t have picked a better wife. He must have been looking quite jealously at the scene because Charles comes upto him, greeting him with a Hey, mate and a knowing smirk. Max grunts, sipping his G&T, then realises he might be acting in a way you would refer to as "dickhead behaviour", so he also throws in a gruff congratulations.
Charles' is not having it though, having recognised the intensity which Max was staring you down with. You know, he starts, prompting Max out of his one-way thoughts, You could always try bringing it up directly with her instead of expecting her to read your mind, hmm? Max glanced at him side ways. Already practising your fatherly advice? He joked, diffusing the tension, before the conversation moved onto how the new young F1 drivers just didn’t appreciate a good wheel to wheel battle like back in their karting days.
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Charles' words stuck with him throughout the week, and one night as you both settled down for bed, he decided it was time to ask. Schatje? he begun, watching you from his position in the bed as you brushed out your damp curls in the mirror, dressed in a cute silk nightie. You hmmed at him, slightly distracted by a tangle in your hair but prompting him to continue. You know, I was, well -whatdoyouthinkaboutgettingpregnant?
You frowned slightly, still distracted by the tangle in your hair. Who, Alex and Charles? I think it's great, they've wanted kids for a while now, right?
Max takes a deep breath, tells himself to stop being a pussy, and walks over to you, taking the comb away as he brushes out the tangle himself. You look at him curiously as he tilts your head up with his large palm, brushing your cheek lovingly as his ice blue eyes meet yours. No, shcat he murmurs gently. I mean us, getting pregnant, having a baby. How do you feel about that?
Your jaw drops open at his words as your brain temporarily stopped working. You feel your face blush from the thought of your husband getting you pregnant. As hot as it sounded, out of all the things, you hadn't expected him to say that. You realise your surprised silence was making Max freak out, the telltale sign of a crinkle between his brows. You scramble to come up with a response, stuttering that Oh, sorry, I hadn't really thought about it, I guess and that we'd both been busy with work for so long it kind of...slipped my mind?
But what do you think, liefje, your husband pressed, hopeful. Do you want to try? You honestly weren't sure, this was all so sudden and you needed a bit more time to process it - but when you told Max this you didn't miss the hurt look that flashes across his face as his insecurities rise up. He asked if the problem was that you didn't want to have kids with him, because how could you possibly not have thought about it, all our friends and family constantly bring it up all the time-
I don't know! you'd responded defensively, arms crossed. We'd been focusing on your racing for so long that I just stopped thinking about stuff like that. The argument had spiralled out of control quickly, Max demanding to know when you were going to stop holding that over him, and when you wanted to think about it then, you two weren't any younger, after all - prompting you to angrily accuse him of always putting his job above yours, because now that he had his fill he was ready to start a family but what about your career?!
You hadn’t been able to stop the tears that dripped down your face as the argument escalated into a full blown fight. Max had sighed seeing that, deflating and saying you should both head to bed for now. You’d lain next to him, feeling so cold without his usual warm bicep pulling you against him, trying to hold back more tears before you drifted into a fitful sleep. Max hadn’t been any better either, only falling asleep in the early hours of the morning and when he woke up, you were already gone. He’d started trying to look for you but then remembered you had a conference in London today you’d had to fly out for - you wouldn’t be back for a week, he reads on the note you’d left on the fridge.
Fuck, it had been a bad night to have such an ugly fight considering you two had left so much unresolved. Later, when he’s visiting his sister’s for dinner and watching her kids with the same burning want in his heart, his mother corners him and demands to know why he had shown up looking like a kicked puppy. Your wife’s been gone one day and you’re already so hopeless? She’d joked, but clearly had a concerned look in her eyes. He couldn’t stop himself then, opening up about the horrible fight. He feels terrible that you had ended up crying, but still can’t help feel that you were being purposely selfish, he explains, after all, we’d be raising the baby together, she can still have her career, no?
His mother had been silent for a while, taking it all in, before she gently reminded Max about how she, too, had been in the peak of her very successful karting career when Jos had gotten her pregnant. Your wife isn’t me, and you certainly are not your father, she said firmly. But she’s scared, Max, it’s not personal. She’s scared she could lose everything she’s spent years building while you get to have it all. It isn’t as easy for a mother to put her career on hold as it is for a father. Even if he’s as loving and caring as you will be, she reassures.
Max looked troubled, then, as your responses last night now started to make sense. God, he was such a terrible husband, how had he not considered that before? Sensing her son’s brain was running at 100 miles a minute, the older woman lays a soothing hand on his shoulder. Just give her some space, Max. Let her come to you. You two will work through this.
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So he gives you the space, and 6 days later he’s standing at the arrivals area of the airport, stonily looking out the window at the planes landing but internally fighting a storm of emotions. You two had never had these many days of no contact in your whole marriage, and he’d said some vicious things that night, and what if in the time away you had decided you would be better off without him? His jaw clenched at the idea of losing you. God, maybe he shouldn’t have given you space but spammed your phone, begging for forgiveness. Why was marriage so much more confusing than driving a car at 200kmph?
Suddenly, he hears the click of your familiar YSL heels walking up to him and he turns frantically to see your petite figure come to a stop a few feet away. Your face looks just as troubled as his, but as soon as your eyes meet you can’t control yourself and run forward to jump into his arms. Max welcomes you eagerly, all his tension releasing as he hugs you tightly, broad arms easily lifting you up and pressing his face into your neck to breathe in your perfume. You’re rapidly saying something about how you were so sorry, you had overreacted - You don’t have to apologise for anything, liefje, Max says fiercely, God, I missed you so, so much. I shouldn’t have brought it up so suddenly. Take all the time you need, okay?
You blink back happy tears, heart so full at your understanding husband as you looked up into his blue eyes adoringly before sharing a loving kiss. Passerbys smiled at the sweet scene you two made. Max took you home, one hand carrying your luggage and the other firmly around your waist, as if he was paranoid you were going to disappear. Again, in the car, his hand stayed glued to your thigh, softly stroking it as you told him about your week in London. And then at home, you had to stop him as he got ready to climb into the shower with you, giggling and saying you were starving, baby, did he want to grab some dinner for you two?
He’d pouted, but then perked up excitedly once you promised you two could go for a swim in the pool after dinner instead. Need anything else while I’m out, schat? He asked, grabbing the Ferrari keys. You hesitated, making him turn around, as you blushed a little and said Would you mind grabbing some condoms, Maxie? I forgot to take my pill to London so I haven’t been on anything for a week

You search his face for any hint that he’s upset you still needed time, but found none, only a gentle expression on his face as he pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek. Of course, schatje, he says lovingly before heading out. You watch him go, a devious smirk now on your face. A part of you felt bad for the game that you were planning on playing with your husband later that evening - but, oh well, you had to have some fun in a marriage, right? And your sweet, darling, perfect husband had passed the test with flying colours tonight, showing his dedication to putting your needs first.
The truth was, you’d also reflected on your marriage and its future in London. You’d thought and thought until you could think no more about whether or not it was time to have kids, if you should even have kids, not because you didn’t want them but because you were so worried about how it would derail the career you’d worked so hard to build. And then you’d remembered how Max would spend hours quizzing you for your residency exams, while you were on the toilet or in the kitchen, making sure you got every answer right and you’d passed with full marks.
Or how you knew you loved Max for the first time, when he had stood by your side and steadied you as you shakily reported to your boss about a supervisor who’d developed a nasty habit of feeling you up at work and barring you from surgeries if you said no. Max had stood by you through it all, his large, gentle hands holding your own, a contrast to the thunderous expression on his face at anyone who tried to give you a hard time when you came forward - and he didn’t ease up until the creep had been permanently stripped of his medical license. Even now, when you’d sometimes shiver at the memory, he’d pull you into his safe arms, murmuring how proud he was of you, schat, you were so brave for speaking up.
You thought about how warm you’d felt seeing Max gently rock his nephew in his strong arms, or how impressed you had been seeing how he taught the kids how to drive a kart, or how devoted he was to your marriage and your three pets, always being there to provide for you and support you however you needed him to be - mentally, physically, emotionally. Max really was the best husband to you, and he’d be the best father to your kids. And you knew you had your answer.
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So now, after eating your favourite dinner of Italian pasta, expensive red wine and tiramisu for dessert, you got changed into your bikini, a skimpy pink number Max always enjoyed, and slipped on a gold choker with matching anklets, all adorned with the letter M - a custom made Cartier set he’d brought for you on his birthday, as a gift to himself. The box of condoms he’d picked up lays on the bedside table. You smirk at them as you pass by - they won’t be needed much longer. Not that your husband had any clue of that - yet, and you couldn’t wait to see the expression on his face when he figured out just how you were going to reward his devotion tonight. Picking up a second bottle of wine, you take a good swig and make your way out to the dark backyard where Max is shirtless, the pool’s neon lights reflecting the water droplets that slide down his large, muscular back. Shit, you had to stay extra focused if he was going to be looking so delectable tonight!
He turns as he hears your anklets tinkle, smirking as he takes in your dolled up appearance, all for him. Coming in, schat? He calls huskily, feeling his cock hardening at the sight of you after a whole maddening week away. Just admiring the view, you say cheekily, taking another swig from the wine and slowly stepping into the pool. You can feel your husband’s hungry gaze sliding up your curvy body, and you shiver, feeling rather like a deer caught in a lion’s trap even though you were the one playing games tonight. You come to a stop in front of him, your head barely reaching his upper chest, giving him a generous view as your tits spilled around the tiny bikini. You sultrily gaze right into his darkening blue eyes as you take yet another sip of the wine, your pink tongue darting out to circle the tip of the bottle in quite the slutty manoeuvre. Missed you, Maxie you say coyly. Especially missed having you inside me.
He growls lowly at your teasing, easily taking the bottle off you and downing the rest before discarding it to the side. You whine as he puts a stop to your antics, pouty lips and large doe eyes staring up at him invitingly. Chuckling, he places a large palm across your ass and lifts you up against him. Your thighs wrap themselves around his toned waist and your hands tangle in his soft hair, gently tugging on the strands just the way he likes it. Now face to face, you tease him further, whispering in his ear about how lonely you’d been while away, how normally you’d call him and have him talk you through an orgasm, and how your tiny fingers hadn’t been able to make you cum all week because you needed his thick ones to stretch you open.
Fuckkk, schat, Max breathes, feeling his cock grow impossibly hard, his blue eyes completely darkened by lust. I missed that filthy little mouth of yours so much. He glides his thumb along your pink lips and you part them easily, taking him in and swirling your tongue around him. He can’t hold himself back any longer, pulling you in and replacing his thumb with his tongue. You moan into the dirty kiss, running your hands along his muscular shoulders, addicted to the feeling of his strong, thick biceps caging you against him. Your bikini strings are deftly untied as he practically rips it off of you, breaking the kiss to lean you back and suck on your pretty nipples. You squeal as he gently bites down, murmuring maybe you shouldn’t have been such a cocktease, schat.
You’re now grinding your pussy against his abs, begging him for more, please, Maxie and asking him to take you to bed. He smirks at how easily you fall apart under his tongue, squeezing your ass as he carries you inside, always giving you what you wanted like the devoted husband he is. You two have no regard for the sheets as you drip water all over them, foreplay long forgotten as your bikini bottoms are yanked off, followed by his trunks. You’d honestly forgotten about the damn condoms by this point but Max hadn’t, hurriedly ripping open a packet with his teeth as you whine at him to hurry up, Maxie, I can’t take it- Oh!
You moan blissfully as he buries himself inside you. Feels like coming home everytime, schat, he breathes out as he holds his position for a few beats before he starts thrusting into you. Holy shit, that felt sooo good. You didn’t think you were going to last very long at all - putting a time limit on your plan. You let him get a few more thrusts in you before you start begging again, this time asking Maxie, wait, can-can we please take the condom off?
He looks down at you in surprise, saying you hadn’t been on the pill this week schat, it’ll be risky-
Oh, your darling husband still hadn’t caught on to your suprise, and as you whine that it’s okay, you can just pull out, right Maxie? you almost giggle from the strained expression on his face as he considers that feat of self restraint. But he wasn’t going to say no to you, not when you were below him with your lush dark curls spread around you and looking up at him so adoringly, so he reaches down and pulls the condom off and sinks back inside you.
Shit. He swears at the vice grip you have his cock in, one hand automatically going to grasp the headboard to try and maintain some control and ground himself. But you’re begging for more and it feels so good to be back inside you, raw, feeling your slick heat up on his thick cock that his thrusts start getting sloppier. He’s panting above you, both hands now gripping the headboard to hold himself back from the urge to cum inside you.
Your devilish eyes don’t miss this, and you grab his thick wrists to pull them down so his hands rest on your bouncing tits, begging him to play with them, please. Oh, shit, he feels his orgasm quickly approaching from your positively filthy demands tonight. But as he starts to pull back you wrap your legs around him tightly, keeping him in place as you make your final demand - Noo, Maxie, don’t pull out, you can come inside me, it’s ok-
Perplexed, knowing he can break your grip around him in half a second, your husband is now very confused as he points out with gritted teeth that no condom and no pill and no pulling out meant-Yes, yes, I know! You whine impatiently. I want it Maxie, I’m ready now, come inside, I want to get pregnant!
Max pauses above you, this time being the one to have his brain function temporarily suspended as he slowly figures out just what you’re saying. Are you sure, schat-
You roll your eyes, sinking yourself down onto his cock, making him moan, and hoping he gets the message. Oh, I’m definitely sure, dear husband, you say sultrily. Now, are you going to fuck a baby into me or what?
He finally clicks, his confused gaze now morphing into pure joy as he grins down at you, and you can’t help but grin back, the two of you finally ready to progress into the next step of your marriage together. He pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, catching you off guard. You know I love you right, schat? He murmurs, and you nod, confused where he was taking this. Good, cause I’m about to fuck you like I hate you. That was a dirty game you played, yeah? Edging me all night when you were gonna let me fuck you raw all along. Gonna have to punish you real good for that. He growls darkly, his large hand coming to squeeze your throat, making you gasp in delight.
Oh, you loved when Mad Max came out to play. Your legs are tossed over his shoulders and then pressed all the way back against your soft tummy, into a mating press. The unfamiliar position has you screaming in pleasure, your anklets dangling by your face as he thrusts his way back into you. Your husband chuckles wickedly at your reaction, pumping into you deeply and making the headboard bang against the wall each time.
And true to his word, he punishes you thoroughly, not stopping despite your overstimulated pleas as you repeatedly orgasm, instead cumming inside you over and over and over again, leaving you obscenely full with his thick load.
And when you finally pass out into blissful darkness, he meanly fucks you awake again, demanding that you take another round from him like the good little wife you are, aren’t you, so obedient for me, hmm? Gonna fuck you stupid until you’re finally pregnant with my kids, like you always should have been.
Safe to say, you didn’t get much sleep that night, or for many nights after 💖
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A/N: damn this is a whole ass essay. I love simp husband max so much tho I couldn’t help it đŸ„șmight make a part 2 about the pregnancy and protective max hehe if people like this! Lmk what you think đŸ«¶đŸ«¶
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martiansodas-blog · 5 months ago
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too pretty to think.
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when art started to slip, it almost felt like falling asleep

a. donaldson x reader
word count: 2,216
contents: dumbification, body worship, face sitting, multiple orgasms, cuming untouched, brief mommy kink, subspace, nicknames and pet names, this is freak nasty.
Xx
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The first time 
You and Art have been going steady for 6 months and you loved every second of it. the two of you mostly hung out at your place, it's a tad cleaner than his dorm and he never bothered with things like decorations. It was a haven for the both of you. So when your Blackberry buzzed with a message asking,
“r u home?” 
It was hardly out of the ordinary.
“yeah. just changed clothes”
“can i come over?”
“of course”
Donaldson is a man who never knows when to quit. Let's rephrase: He’ll only quit when instructed to. 
He treats his body like a machine. He eats what his nutritionist tells him to, he pushes his body to the limit, and he rarely turns in a paper late. 
When you opened your front door your boyfriend was in chaotic ruins. His eyes were puffy and his cheeks were stained. He stared at the floor with his calloused hands in his pockets.
“Oh my gosh, what happened?? What’s wrong?”
Your tone had urgency as you ushered him inside. Once the door is closed he pulls you in for a hug. You don’t dare speak, just hug back. He’ll tell you when he’s ready. 
It’s obvious he’s trying to hold himself together, but stroking his back caused him to break.
“Aw, baby,” 
You sway him from side to side. 
“Shh, it’s ok. I’m here.”
After a few minutes, Art regained control of his breathing. You put him at arm's length—your voice just above a whisper. 
“Would you like to come lay down with me? We don’t have to talk about it if you don't want to, let's just get you comfortable.”
Art sniffles and nods his head—your poor baby. 
You held his hand and led the way to your room. You sat on your bed with your back against the wall so he could lay between your legs. He often takes this position when you guys are watching movies so it will add a level of comfort for him. 
Art takes some deep breaths as you run your nails through his hair. 
“We got a new coach and he- he’s so intense. I don’t know. I’ve been berated by coaches since I was 13. Why the hell is this one affecting me differently?” 
You twist one of his curls in your fingers. 
“Everything's just so much right now. Schoolwork, post-graduation plans, sponsorships
 There's so much going on all the time. I- I can’t do it.” 
Your heart broke for him. 
“I’m so sorry, Artie. I wish I could take it all away from you.”
You rubbed his arms and back for who knows how long. It could have been hours. You didn’t care. You’d cancel your week's agenda if that’s what he needed. You weren’t getting up until he felt better. 
You analyzed his words.
“It’s not that you’re unable to make decisions, and it’s not that you make bad decisions. It’s just that decisions are constant unrelenting work
 is that an accurate assessment?”
He nodded and sighed into your shirt like you were the one person in the world who understood him. 
“...And a good boy like you should never have to work.” 
Art froze. 
Well, that’s new. 
You decided to test the waters further and put on your most sultry voice. 
“Don’t worry baby, I’ll think for you.” 
He let out a sound that can only be described as a mewl. His body curled into a semi-circle. 
You swept some hair out of his eyes, they seemed to get droopier.
I don't know what exactly is transpiring he’s responding to it.
“Let your thoughts go. You don’t need them.” 
Eyes are fully closed now.
“Can you unclench your jaw for me? That’s it.”
He does as he's told, falling deeper into whatever hollow you're creating. He bites back a smile but his blush is evident. So easy to get him to blush. One of his cutest attributes.
Next step is Moving your handsome boy to lay on his stomach so you can rub his shoulders. You hear him sigh while the tension is worked out of his muscles and watch him relax under your hands. 
Walking him through some deep breaths while you place dozens of soft, light kisses on his neck. 
You want to make him understand what a privilege it is to have him.
Rubbing his thighs and calves, slowly melting away the stress of the day. Kisses on the backs of his knees while he laughs and tells you to stop that and that it tickles.
Helping him turn over to lie on his back and climbing carefully on top to straddle him.
You toy with the hem of his shirt. 
“Can I take this off?”
He looks up at you. mouth open and nods. 
It causes you to giggle. 
“Thank you.” 
Once that’s out of the way your hands wander up to his chest while trailing more impossibly light kisses down his Adam's apple. Massaging his chest, squeezing and grabbing and just feeling his skin. 
Kissing his collarbones, trailing your tongue along the dip where they meet under his neck. Slowly working that boy up with teasing touches that only get more and more unbearable.
Slowly returning to his lips to kiss him again while you reach down to trail your fingertips over his cock. He pants and whines so sweetly into your mouth while you play with his cock. You're not even trying to make him cum-- not yet. 
I could do this all day. 
Letting him drift in a fuzzy-headed space while you work your fingers soft and slow over his pants. Doesn't need to worry about anything but your hands on his body. You're right here to keep him safe and make him feel good.
“There's nothing I love more than watching my brilliant, polite, well-spoken boyfriend turn mindless.” 
Art whined and bucked his hips up to meet your hand.
“I need to be in you so bad. Please.”
Who are you to refuse him?
“Don't worry baby, I’ll give you what you want.” 
You slid off him and he reached for you, like he couldn’t stand you being an inch away for any amount of time. You chuckled and took off your bottoms and underwear, he copied. 
You hopped back on top of him, which made him break out into a smile. His girl was about to take care of him. 
You grabbed his cock and started stroking him. 
“I don’t know if I’m wet enough, Artie.”
“Sitonmyface.” He begged all in one breath. 
You bit your lip so as not to laugh at him. It wasn’t in a mean way, no no! He was just so excited about it. It’s adorable and flattering all at the same time.
“Are you sure? We’ve never done that before.”
We haven’t done a lot of this before. 
He shamelessly nodded. Grabbing your waist with both hands and shifting your body up before you could protest. 
“I don’t want to crush you.”
At this point, he was panting. A dog seconds away from getting a treat. 
“You won’t.” 
Art has eaten you out before, and it’s been wonderful. But this? This is a new kind of ecstasy. 
His tongue reaches new trenches. 
And that fucking nose. It bumped your clit every time. You were gasping and making noises you didn’t know were possible. His mouth is memorizing your folds. He's getting off on your arousal.  His tip is red and hurting, but can barely care when a taste crafted just for him is on his lips. 
“Shit. Just like that.” 
Your thighs trapped his face, your breath hitched with every thrust, and your walls clenched around his tongue. 
“Oh god, oh god,” 
Truthfully, Art didn't know which of you came first. 
The only thing he knew was your body. 
You shuffled down and kissed all over his face which was covered in your release. 
“You made mommy feel so good.”
He smiled up at you. He was so proud that he could do that for you. Like it was his purpose in life. And oh did he love that nickname. It made him feel all soft, like when you recall a fond memory. 
“Do you want Mommy to sit on your cock?” 
He whimpered and nodded. 
You lined yourself up with him and sank. It was so easy due to both of your juices, you had to concentrate on lowering slowly so he didn’t bottom out too fast. 
The two of you moaned in unison. It was almost tantric. Even though the focus here is on Art, it’s impossible not to feel the same pleasure. It wasn’t just your sexualities that were aligned but your souls. The love you felt for each other was palpable. 
It didn’t take long for him to bottom out. But it wasn’t enough. You ground your hips into him, causing his voice to raise an octave. 
“Oh fuck. Hnnn! Fuck, feels so good, please.”
He was babbling nonsense, unable to create cohesive thoughts or keep any sounds in. 
You remove his hands clutching the sheets and replace them with your own. To bring him back to earth. 
When he couldn’t get enough he bucked his hips up into yours. Moving aimlessly, mindlessly. You held his hips down to the mattress and bounced on his dick. The sounds of his cock hitting your weeping entrance were insanely beautiful and sinful to listen to. 
“Such a good boy.” 
His dick jumped inside of you at that. Seemingly of its own volition. 
You shifted to pepper kisses on his jawline. The new position forced his cock to rub all kinds of new places. You nearly collapsed onto him from the shock. Heavy exhales leave your mouth. Your pussy suffocates his cock. 
“My good boy. Just a dumb little thing for me to use isn't that right.”
Art came on the spot. No warning. His skin flushed and curls were damp on his forehead. Words were coiled at his throat, coming out as broken sobs, wanting more. 
You rode him until it was clear he'd finished. 
“Did you cum for me, baby?”
“Yes. I'm sorry I should’ve said something I couldn't help it. Felt too good, I didn’t -“
“Shh sweetheart, you did nothing wrong. You can cum in me as many times as you like. That's what I’m here for. That’s what this,” you clenched around him, “is for.” 
“Fuck.” his breath quivering. He arched his back, sensitive little thing. 
“I love it when you spill yourself into me. it’s so warm in here now.” 
You placed his hand on your lower stomach, your womb. 
“Can we go again please?”
“Are you sure? I don't want to push you.”
He shuffled so you were both sitting up. causing you to gasp. His erection never left, and it’s ever so prevalent right now. 
“Please! Wanna keep myself buried here forever.” 
It was hard to remain the level-headed one after hearing that. 
“You make me so wet when you say that, Artie.” 
There's drool coming from his mouth as he watches you talk. Nothing behind those eyes.
“So wet and needy.” 
You soften your voice, and when you talk it’s into his mouth. 
“You gonna let me take you again?”
He groaned and nodded, then ferociously kissed you. He wrapped his strong arms around your torso and immediately disliked how much fabric was between the two of you. He ripped your t-shirt and sports bra off in nearly one motion. Sighing when he felt skin on skin.
“I’m going to play with you until there's nothing in that head except my name.”
And you did. You fucked him till his brain turned to mush. Till it felt so good he thought he was going crazy, till he couldn’t even hear how loud he was being. Just blissed out being pulled back into your cunt. 
What an honor, to have such an obedient, adoring boy like him. 
You let him stay like that, floaty and sweet until he fell asleep to whispered praises. 
“My good boy. You did such a good job for me.”
A kiss to his forehead. 
“You know I love you so much.”
Tucked under the covers.
“So good for me, honey. You're okay. I'm proud of you. You're all mine, and I'm all yours.”
You raked your nails along his back.
“Relax, It'll all be there for you tomorrow. But for right now, all you need to be is my good, sweet boy. And you are.”
You moved off the bed which concerned Art. 
“Are you leaving?” 
He looked like he could cry. You cradled his face. 
“No baby boy, of course not. I’m only getting you some water. I’ll be right back” 
You spoke to him like a child bedridden with a cold. It was clear the comedown was something intense and never experienced before. He needed you next to him right now.
“Alright lovely, I know you’re tired but have a few drinks of this for me.”
You guided the water bottle into his mouth till you were satisfied with the amount he got in his system. 
“Rest now. I’ll cuddle you.” 
The blonde fell asleep immediately in your embrace and you hoped it wouldn't be the last time you took his thoughts away.
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