#YOU DIDN’T DO IT DEAL WITH IT
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oh no, no, nonononononono you don’t get to retcon the first series basically being an all white cast because now you’ve realized it’s Not A Great Look by blaming publishing standards and pretending that annabeth is presented as anything other than a blonde white girl in the text or any of the marketing material ever.
you wrote her as white! you wrote all the main characters as white and made it very clear when the secondary characters weren’t! it’s fine to admit you just had a blind spot and self-corrected with HoO and the other series!!! you don’t get to go back and retroactively collect diversity points by pretending annabeth is in any way presented as racially ambiguous in the text now that you’ve decided to make a tv show!!!! gaaaaaaaaahhhhhh
#I am beefing with this riordan take and this riordan take alone#you don’t get extra credit for something you didn’t do in the fucking first place!!!!!#see exhibit a: JKR and black!hermione#I absolutely think it’s wonderful that they cast Leah and that she gets this great opportunity#but they don’t get to go back and pretend that he ALWAYS intended to write annabeth as anything but a white blonde girl#YOU DIDN’T DO IT DEAL WITH IT#stop throwing buzzwords around!!!
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FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#phone guy#fnaf 1#sister location#fnaf fanart#HOLY SHIT PHONE GUY MENTIONED AGAIN 🔥🔥#NOW WITH A FULL HUMAN DESIGN ☎️#listen I know I’ll never beat his object head form#BUT I wanted to take at least one stab at making him a design!#my thought process I based him off William and Bob the security guard from the movie!#those two basically gives off the general idea I thought phone guy looked like#made sure to give him red all over his design too to match the phone head deal 🙏🏾#SO YEAH in retrospect phone guy saying this TO MICHAEL is crazy#you think Michael just sat there like 😐#Michael straight up had an endo shoved into him and he was wore like a suit 💀#PHONE GUY definitely didn’t know but yeesh hit close to home there#I REALLY hope yall like PG design!!#I’ll probably tweak it a lil if I do draw it again#now phone guy phone dude and tape girl all have human designs let’s go!! 🩵🩵
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I've been loving your domestic life Astarion and Dorian comics! Both the actual content and your drawing style are so good!
No pressure to answer at all, but I'm super curious how Dorian would have handled being a sea horse dad? Like super uncomfortable gender disphoria or glowing and loving it?
thank you!!!
i think he probably would’ve just vibed through it? elf gender roles are funky and he’s not really ‘gender conforming’ anyway so i feel like he’d just be chill about it
also there would be a Lot of knitting to do as a distraction
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#tavstarion#dadstarion#i think the worst part of it for him is that it was just a minute before he was FULLY ready for it#and also poor astarion who didn’t think he’d be in that position Ever#and now has to deal with That#personally i do Zero gender roles in fantasy but i know dnd hasn’t caught up yet#i think it’s funny when cishet men insist on gendering fantasy SO hard#my guy there are dragons why do you care
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Prompt 207
Danny does not come out of the portal.
In fact, he’s lost. Very lost. He just wants to go home and is getting scared of everything around him because he doesn’t know what’s going on. But! But he’s found an (admittedly also terrifying) castle or keep or whatever they’re called that all the ghosts avoid!
It never exactly enters his mind that they might have been avoiding such a place for a reason.
In unrelated news, the first thing Fright Knight sees after his sword was (accidentally) knocked free from its prison is not a blob ghost- they’ve done it a few times over the eternities- but a ghostling. A newborn ghostling, who promptly bursts into tears to his genuine horror. What did he do?!
#Prompts#Danny Phantom#DP#Dad Fright Knight#He’s trying to calm the few-days dead ghostling#Danny is like the size of a small child compared to Fright#Danny being a Halfa didn’t get the instinctive information other ghostlings do#& thx to his parents’ study doesn’t know ghosts aren’t all bad#Fright (slightly panicking): Would you feel better if I gave you a blade??#Danny does get a very big (for him) knife that Fright gently adjusts his grip on during their adventure#Fright: Is this the area you came from?#Danny: No :(#Fright: Would petting Nightmare make you feel better#Danny: Omg a horsie yay#Amity does still have to deal with the rest of the ghosts while this is going on#Then one day there’s this whole ass giant hell knight and tiny child standing there#Fright Knight: I have had this ghostling for (insert number of weeks) and if anything happened to him I would release Pariah to destroy eve#Fright Knight#Danny Fenton
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WE ARE | EP16
#we are#we are the series#we are series#tanfang#aou thanaboon#aouboom#boom tharatorn#my edits#weareedit#AOUBOOM MAIN LEADS WHEN???#i do appreciate them and the way they’ve been portraying tanfang#i know tan was a bit over the top 99% of the time#but every scene and touch felt so genuine#and i’m not gonna credit that to new#bc he wasn’t able to direct ppw in a way that didn’t make their kisses look a bit awkward#i know scenes have to look aesthetically pleasing in some way#and that’s why we keep having to deal the ‘no one would kiss with this much space for jesus between each other’ complaints#but like look at aouboom here#this is mostly them and their acting choices in my humble opinion#and don’t get me started on the pecks#ppw BARELY touched the other one’s lips when they had to do a peck kiss#like cmon the difference between ppw and aouboom pecks is insane#i’m sorry for picking on ppw but i’m a bit sad that some of their romantic scenes were a bit lackluster#especially that very last kiss which tbh i rather wouldn’t have seen bc it felt a bit awkward to me#but that may be just me#i need new to get a bit more frisky with kiss scenes when it comes to his directing#bc i feel like friskier kiss scenes only happen when the actors mostly do their thing after finding out what the director wants#(maybe i’m completely wrong about new but tkdkfdkddkdk)#and don’t get me wrong idgaf if there are kisses or not but if there’s a kiss scene you should commit instead of holding yourself back idk#and ppw definitely need a better director to help them achieve that bc jojo was definitely better at directing them
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being so honest right now heathertail should’ve taken every plotline given to harestar and then built on them & it’s a disservice to the po3-oots arcs that she didn’t. she has a disregard for the parts of the code she disagrees with, and she’s been turned away by a member of the three as a result, first with compassion but then viciously, with him swearing her as his enemy and threatening her straight after nearly murdering her mentor. he comes close to killing her and the book tells us she *knows* it.
seeing the dark forest pick up on this rivalry, on the way she’s been unfairly treated by lionblaze, and taking advantage of it would have been really interesting. it would have given way more set-up to her relationship with breezepelt and given her more agency in it then being the wife who fixes him later on. it would’ve given her an arc of her own. it would have given her a long-lasting and present relationship with lionblaze, making his chapters significantly stronger. seeing this rebellious little apprentice go from a friendly presence to a serious threat created by the flaws of the main character & the clan system would be fun.
and then eventually, after lionblaze has lost his powers and is struggling, we would see heathertail grow behind the scenes and eventually ascend to leadership of windclan. maybe they would reconcile, maybe they would remain a bitter reminder to each other of the past and what could have been, of childhood friendship tarnished with clan patriotism and needless violence. who knows. but id love to read about it.
#heathertail#lionblaze#po3#oots#wc#warrior cats#everything to do with heathertail & lionblaze makes me really angry but also makes me want to cry#she’s treated so fucking badly!!! and we barely get to see how she deals with that!!!#she was so upset when lionblaze said goodbye. reading all her scenes at once is so upsetting#because you see her go from begging lionblaze to stay friends with her to finally accepting it only to have him turn on & threaten her#for something she probably didn’t even do. and even if she did do she only did after he’d already disavowed their secret#this is very rambly. im upset#she reminds me so much of myself. oh heatherpaw we’re really in it now#i just want good things for her so badly
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Why does Ren have 4 ears? Are they all real or is one set fake?
Hehe I’ve gotten this question a lot actually! They’re all real— I like to think hybridization isn’t always a clean balance of traits, so Ren just unfortunately ended up with two sets of ears— his Dog ears being much more receptive to sound, naturally— and sometimes when the extra intake of sound is too overwhelming, I imagine he wears earplugs in his human ears to help adjust :> it’s a bit weird, but idk! i like to make designs funky and nonconventional! I liked the idea that Ren had hearing struggles due to wonky hybridization and just kept the concept :>
#dbhc#dbhc ask#ask#anon#dbhc ren#renthedog#dbhc doc#since I talk about him in the tags FGBJCGHN#it’s another one of those situations where I drew it that way when I was younger because I didn’t really understand why ppl were drawing#hybrids with flat spaces where human ears should go and have dog ears on the top of the head— I couldn’t figure out anatomically#it makes more sense to me now since animals are literally like that but it’s just something I kept doing and came up with a better#reason for it later once I had a better understanding of stuff#I don’t necessarily think two sets of ears is logically more sound than reworking the anatomy of a human head to have ears on top but!#it’s really not that deep LMAO#I like the idea of hybridizations being wonky because weird stuff physically happens to people all the time#hybrid or not#and then we gotta deal with the physical consequences of stuff we were born with… yknow#ANYWAY WHAT A WEIRD RAMBLE#tldr funky hybrid who now has hearing problems/gets overwhelmed easily by sound. ren the dog I love you#and if you were to look into my soul you would find that I also think dbhc doc helped him craft earbuds using android tech to work perfectly#to tune out the sounds he needs#:3 because they are friends and I think doc should use his expertise to help make life easier for ren#I’M STILL RAMBLING!!!#good grief
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aisjsjjensnJAJAJ
#because… we wrote one idiot 😭!!!#I guess wp and nbs just learned that black ppl have our own National anthem and are of course spazzing tf out#just… write one?#yourselves??? if this is such a big deal like kskskskskl#there’s no arguing with racists but this is still funny#I saw a few black folks not know about it but they probably either went to white schools or aren’t from America so they missed out on#having to sing lift every voice and sing for 5 days a week 8 years straight#I only sung it for 7 since my 8th grade teacher didn’t care if we did it or not#I just didn’t feel like standing up sorry and I’m sure her lazy ass didn’t either that’s why she didn’t care lmfao#no wait I did do it for 8 years because my mom made my teacher hold me back in 3rd grade 🗿…. so#crying#you can feel the antiblackness roll off of that ‘s’#rambling
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The news has reached me that there are canon female custodes, and that the reactions have been mmm well, mixed. I don’t play custodes on tabletop but i do love the faction, and i think it’s an interesting and harmless little addition to the setting. Somewhere in the mists of time some custodes put his genhanced transhuman mind to work and asked himself “What if instead of just taking boy babies for the Full Genome Restructuring Into An Exalted Demigod…what if we took all the babies.” Now we have the Golden Roughly Twenty Thousand, double the protection for the Emperor😌
#my stuff#wh40k#warhammer 40k#also a lot of ppl were bitching about how this disrespects the sisters of silence#like first of all SoS are exclusively 1:1billion mutants with the blank gene you can’t just grab anyone#and they’re already sharing recruit pool with the Culexus Temple#but also don’t pretend you suddenly care about SoS or SoB when you’re just trying to pit bad bitches against each other#there’s no in-universe reason custodes can’t be women and you will not die because of it#like i’m willing to swallow all-male marines bc it’s explicitly a monastic (all male) knight inspired order#but for custodes it’s just grabbing babies to uplift into heroic champions to guard the emperor#no one with eyes can tell me seeing the stormcast lady kick the shit out of skaven didn’t do something for you#same deal with female custodes. their competency is not in question and it’s also kinda hot as a bonus
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🏳️🌈 Happy Pride to the OG pairing since 2009. 🏳️🌈
Bonus:
(part 2 here)
#most of these are fuzzy but i still feel like i got some great stills of brosenthal#i can’t even pick a favorite. maybe the package deal one#or the library card one#or the consequences of my actions. what can i say i love the graveyard scene#i do not support jkr and consider the musicals to be pretty far removed from her scope#anyways how do yall feel about gay love piercing through the veil of death and saving the day? <3#starkid#avpm#quirrellmort#brian rosenthal really gave one of the best performances of the trilogy in the graveyard scene imo.#‘‘no… i didn’t see the end‚ because YOU were watching it while you were on the back of my head‚ SUCKING MY SOUL!!!!!’’#long post#mine
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*Cracks knuckles*
Let the crossovers……BEGIN
And finally:
Anxiety, stop it. You giving them existential crises. >:(
#Pizza Tower#ANTONBLAST#The Amazing Digital Circus#TADC#Cuphead Don’t Deal with the Devil#Inside Out#Inside out 2#Guys Inside Out 2 has been rotating in my head for a little while idk what to do HELO#Also I FIXED THE WAIST BAND on Anxiety it was a button before but my stupid ass didn’t see it last time and gave her a buckle.#Ah yes. I love art of Pomni and Peppino just being sopping wet cats together. it’s very entertaining!#Also I feel like Anton and Cuphead would get along great. Father son type of gig if you will#Also every villain I drew is a little fruity. including Caine. I don’t make the rules guys I’m sorry- 🙌#Peppino#Anton#Cuphead#Pomni#Anxiety#Crossovers!#Art#Doodles
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Nobora deserved to be mentored by Yuki actually. They are the same breed of person Nobara would fucking hate her (lovingly)😭. But would latch onto her like a fungus. She’s think she was so cool and then yuki would open her mouth asking her what she prefers in a woman and she’d flash back to Todo and his weirdness and be done 😭
They have a similar loud boisterous will kick your face in if you dare say they aren’t cute personality but I do think that Yuki could have really helped Nobora grow out of her almost borderline apathy towards the general public. Because I think they had the opposite problems. Yuki got lost in the big picture spent so much time trying to cure it all she stopped being able to see the individual while Nobara is so lost in the weeds all she can see is the individual and unless she cares about them she only saves them because that is a consequence of her job. Nobara for all she hates them is in some ways just as small minded as the people from her hometown.
God also they have a similar application of their curse technique Yuki kicks around her shikigami and Nobara hammers her nails. They are insane in the same way. There is actually so much she could have learned from Yuki and it breaks my heart that we didn’t really get to see Yuki or Nobara develop as characters or even really be characters in the story. Because their major fights are so bad ass and they are so insane. And god they needed more 😭.
#Nobara’s fight at the end of season 1 was one of the main reasons I decided to stick with jjk#because I fucking love unhinged women and nobara has never eve. seen the hinge in her life#she literally does a black flash and then never again she gets no good fights ever again#mappa atleast tried to throw her a bone with their fleshing out the fight with mahito’s double#but even then. god that was a fight right in her lane too 😭 mahito’s whole thing was the soul and Nobara’s technique was all about the soul#but instead they gave the soul abilities to yuuji 😔#which fine it was cathartic to watch him beat mahito’s ads but still. Nobara was literally his natural enemy.#she didn’t even need to get close to him to deal lethal damage and gege why do you do this? 😭😭#throwing thoughts to the void#jjk#jjk meta#jjk spoilers#yuki tsukumo#nobara kugisaki#nobara#jjk nobara#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu sorcerer#jjk analysis#jjk headcanons#yuji itadori#jujutsu kaisen nobara#jjk kugisaki#jjk thoughts
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Soooo my dishwasher caught fire today.
Yep.
I started a load, sat down in the living room to work, and a little while later there was a burning plastic smell in the air. I ran into the kitchen to find whitish gray smoke billowing out of the top of the door.
Bad News: the dishwasher is toast and must now be replaced.
Good news: it was old and not-so-great anyway and it’s Labor Day weekend, a rather lucky time to need a new appliance.
I spent more money than I would’ve liked but around $400 less than I would’ve if I’d needed to do this some other week, so I’m at peace.
And it’ll be nice to have a dishwasher where the top rack isn’t constantly falling out of the track and there aren’t holes in the silverware basket big enough for the silverware to fall through. (The new one has a top rack for silverware. Luxury of luxuries.)
Now I wait to get the call that lets me know when they can schedule my delivery. Might be as much as two weeks.
I have my fingers crossed it’ll be a day when I’m supposed to be in the office, so I can say I have to work from home that day.
Keep those silver linings coming.
#my house still smells faintly of burning plastic#can’t wait for that to go away#I never leave appliances running when I’m not home#but I do sometimes turn on the dishwasher right before going to bed#so I’m glad I didn’t do that this time#and let this be a warning to you#if that’s a thing you’re also in the habit of doing#around $400 less makes it sound like I bought a VERY expensive dishwasher#but I assure you I did not#the dishwasher was marked down#but they were also running a No Installation Fee deal#and some kind of a discount on the hauling away of the old dishwasher#anyway it added up
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Coffee addict Never sleeps Tim drake ❌
Solving cases in his sleep off 87 energy drinks Tim Drake ✅
The coffee addict never sleeps perpetually tired Tim Drake thing is a widely accepted headcanon however that was elementary school tim but after he stayed up for a week straight subsisting entirely on coffee to decipher the bat weekly patrol schedule and how it aligns with rogue attacks/Arkham breakouts, he crashed then when he woke up it was fucking wednesday so he missed his chance to commemorate his discovery with pictures of Robin and he decided that shit would never happen again and made himself an ‘efficient’ sleep schedule so he could run around doing fuck shit, add to his robin shrine, and stay on honor roll bc he was even more pissed to see the gotham gazette had pictures of Robin with an on site interview credited to Vicki Vale (listen bowl cut tim had a one sided beef with vicki vale that included tim judging who gets better pics of the bats but she isn’t even aware that she’s competing with a whole ass child 😭 he’s sitting at the table with a mug of orange juice and looks at the newspaper snorts and goes ‘fucking amateur I could do better’)
Regularly unsupervised tiny businessman in training Tim ‘Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep?? That’s so inefficient not to mention fucking stupid’ Drake is so pissed he missed getting shots of Robin dropkicking a rogue from 6 six stories up (for absolutely no reason dick just thinks it’s fun) that he just takes at least 3 hour naps every eight hours 😭 he refuses to spend almost half a day sleeping ‘for no reason when he could be doing something productive’
And he still does this as a bat but it’s just easier to tell if he didn’t take his nap bc he has less than zero impulse control and he’s just fucking done with everything like the gcpd is terrified bc tim’s saying shit like ‘This guys a fucking moron, I could’ve done this in half the time without killing anyone fucking loser doesn’t he know if you keep them alive you can prolong the torture?’ and ‘you’re like all hysterical and for what 🤨 ‘you blew up 83% of Bristol waah’ stfu and fucking rebuild it?? It’s only rich mfs that live there, it’s just a matter of them opening their fucking wallets’ once a new recruit made the mistake of asking if robin had adult supervision regularly and Tim responded with ‘well if you’re gonna snitch to cps like a little bitch then yeah’ and that cop did snitch so tim fucking doxxed him
Yj has just accepted that sometimes they will find tim in an air vent, on the roof, in one of their closets, or something just fucking knocked out then an alarm will go off and he’ll just get up like nothing happened but for the first couple of months they were probably concerned bc ‘I’ve never seen you sleep?? wtf are you on man’ and Tim’s confused bc ‘I slept next to you this morning wdym??’ and that’s how yj discovers tim sleeps with his eyes open
But one of the worst things about Tim’s ‘time efficient sleep schedule’ nonsense is that it fucking works he’s one of the most well rested and coherent bats even after back to back Arkham breakouts however the absolute worst thing about his sleep schedule is the likelihood of going into the cave and seeing tim staring in a daze but wide eyed yet somehow never blinking at the batcomputer with 57 tabs open on top of being unresponsive and thinking he has a fucking concussion or he’s been replaced but he’s just doing case work while muttering nonsense in his fucking sleep for some reason
#Tim drake being unhinged even in his sleep and taking sleepwalking to the next level by doing reports/solving cases in his sleep#A bat hearing incoherent mumbling but no one’s nearby: 😐 he’s in the walls 😨 he’s in the goddamn walls#No one knows how or why he’s in that particular spot in the wall bc there’s isn’t a secret entrance/crawl space there#Tim also has a wall of energy drinks Bruce regularly tries to lecture him aboot#And Tim’s like ‘your eldest son has snorted sugar MULTIPLE times’#then he gestures at Jason ‘and that one looks like if he didn’t have drug related childhood trauma he’d try to snort protein powder’#bruce: tim we have to talk about your behavior#Tim: like three of your kids have basked in the blood of their enemies 🤨 I am NOT your biggest issue rn#Dick Grayson being the main reason there’s an ‘acceptable levels of force’ slide with 600+ slides & most are examples of what not to do#Stephanie 🤝🏾 Damian: being reason Bruce is adding more slides to a PowerPoint from 2 decades ago#Tim drakes idea of straight forward is how everyone else imagines jumping through hoops and fucking struggling to avoid pissing off the fae#Like wdym simple?? This plan has 97 parts and he’s like no that’s just the first page of plan 1 if it’s sunny#Rogues: I can’t catch him off guard wtf do none of these mfs sleep??#Tim ‘never let em know your next move’ Drake who’s been sleep for the past 45 minutes: 🔵➖🔵#Yj has cuddle piles in the air vents#Everyone with enhanced senses is losing bc ‘there are children in the walls’#Coffee addict babs calls tim weak when he tells her he cut coffee bc it was fucking with him before continuing to chug hot coffee#Oracle: this is the worst Tuesday ever 😔 I need more coffee before I deal with an Arkham breakout#Nightwing: but it’s sunday??#Spoiler: Maybe it’s time we switch to decaf love also just out of curiosity when was the last time you slept??#Oracle: you want the fucking location or not?#Dick: I take it back mb#Spoiler: a thousand apologies to our gracious overlord#Oracle: that’s what I thought#Bruce: you’re benched oracle#Oracle: take that bench and shove it up your ass batman#Steph 100% calls everyone mushy pet names and has since Bruce lectured her about professionalism when she was dating tim#Imagine getting your ass kicked by a sleepingwalking middle schooler#Or worse: imagine having to explain to your insurance company that a sleepwalking child blew up your home#tim drake is a menace
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being disabled and having a support system is so important because it turns mundane (and often frustrating) tasks into acts of love.
everytime i clip my nails, i think of the high school teacher who helped me through seizures at least once a week for two years straight. everyday she’d gently take my hands and inspect my nails to make sure i was keeping them short enough that i couldn’t hurt myself while seizing.
it’s easier to be less ashamed of my mobility aids when one of my coworkers spent months building me different canes to use, colored to match my outfits and infused with glow-in-the-dark dye so i’d stop losing my cane in the dark parts of the building.
i eat cheesitz for salt when i’m feeling dizzy and it reminds me of high school, sitting next to my best friend and in the classroom of my favorite teacher who both kept salty snacks in their bags for when i wasn’t feeling good.
being disabled can suck in so many ways, but it’s also brought love into a lot of simple but impactful areas of my life.
#my mom leaves the room when i’m having seizures because it stresses her out#and said teacher above cradles my head in her lap and talks to me whether i’m unconscious or not#my dad gets annoyed the one time he’s called to deal with my seizures#and i think about the boy in my class who barely knew me and still carried me on his back for an entire field trip#because my teacher didn’t have the foresight to see how walking miles would be a problem#i have my first seizure on the floor of random building on that same field trip#and that teacher sits a few feet away and doesn’t do anything to help#while my best friends grips my hand and one of my classmates tucks a stuffed animal under my elbow for comfort#if being disabled has taught me one things#it’s there are people who will love you endlessly without thought#and other who won’t#and when you find those people who will love you it makes life ever so much easier#anyway happy disability pride month#disability#disability pride#disability pride month
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can you do a chapter based on your Death!Reader and God!Brother hcs where Death wakes up from her sleep and goes to Heaven to check up on her brother's children and everyone is obviously terrified of her?
Hmmm…I’m not typically one to do requests because the urge to write is so sporadic and random for me. BUT I have been thinking about the initial confrontation in Heaven for a while now, so here are some head cannons for that. >w>
——
- It’s a typical perfect day in Heaven…Until it isn’t. Having seen what had become of your realm and learning Heaven was to blame for it, you’re on your way to rip someone a new asshole.
- Screams erupt from the Angels as the ground begins to shake and the bright sky darkens. Sera and Emily rush out just in time to join the Angels in watching in abject terror as a massive pool of darkness forms on the ground, and from it slowly rises a menacing figure.
- The figure is massive, and it only continues to rise until even the tallest building barely reaches its hips. Its six long horns twist and arch toward the sky, only making the figure appear even taller. Upon reaching its full height, the figure spreads its six mighty wings, each one sporting a menacingly sharp claw and all as shrouded in darkness as the rest of the figure.
- As its wings blot out the sun further, the figure opens its many blazing white eyes; two where you’d normally expect to see eyes, a third in the center of its forehead, and dozens more scattered across its wings and body.
- Sera lost all color as soon as she saw the figure rising, and somehow lost even MORE color when the figure opened all of its eyes. She looks like she shit herself, and Emily is panicking, trying desperately to get Sera to tell her what’s going on; she’s never seen the older Seraph look so terrified.
- With this unimaginably imposing figure now looming over Heaven, Adam decides this is the PERFECT time to attack, having been dumb enough to think this was a Demon attacking Heaven.
- The exorcists fly up towards the figure, ready to attack. This only angers the figure further however, and with a rumble that shakes the ground itself, the figure merely flaps its wings; creating a gust of wind so powerful it knocks all the exorcists back onto the ground.
- It’s at this point Sera FINALLY snaps out of it, rushing to Adam in mad panic and damn nearly strangling him while telling him to call off the exorcists. Which he does, albeit with some reluctance.
- This doesn’t stop him from asking Sera what gives, and her response is “Adam you absolute fucking fool, that is DEATH!”
- Now it’s Adam’s turn to look like he shit himself. “Death? As in, “the big man himself’s younger sister” Death?? As in, “the baddest bitch you’ve EVER seen, but can kill ANYTHING by just touching it” Death??? THAT fucking Death????” Ignoring that last statement, Sera’s frantic nodding in confirmation confirms to Adam that he has indeed fucked up. Big time. Adam then proceeds to lose all color in his face and practically cowers behind Sera as she cautiously approaches you, mentally preparing herself to be reaped on the spot.
- Back to your perspective however, you’re fucking PISSED. So pissed that you don’t even notice or stop to think that most of Heaven’s inhabitants likely have NO CLUE who you are, and are likely legitimately fearing for their lives. Meanwhile for all the older Angels and Angelic beings who’ve been alive long enough to have known you before you went to sleep, like Sera, they’re all still very much afraid, but it’s more in line with the “oh shit mom’s home early and she saw the mess we made in the kitchen, she’s gonna kill us!” kind of fear.
- The fact that they sent exorcists at you makes you even angrier. Like for starters, how fucking weak do they think you are that you could be stopped by just some low level Angelic beings with pointy sticks?? And then the audacity to even attack you to begin with, like THEY weren’t the ones who fucked up and you’re just some kind of strange intruder needing to be slain?? The INDIGNITY of it all!
- Your voice booms throughout Heaven, making even the ground tremble at the sheer intensity of it. “WHO DID IT?” You’re met with only silence, so you ask again with more force. “MY REALM IS A COMPLETE MESS WITH MILLIONS OF DISPLACED SOULS RIGHT NOW. SO AGAIN I ASK, WHICH ONE OF YOU FLAT FOOT CHILDREN DID THIS?!”
- Sera replies, voice trembling slightly. “Are…Are you talking about the exterminations? “IF THAT IS WHAT YOU’RE CALLING THIS MOCKERY OF MY WORK, THEN YES.” Sera looks visibly confused and concerned. “But…That SHOULDN’T be possible!…The exterminations KILL the Sinners; their souls should be gone, not stuck in Limbo! There has to be some kind of mistake here!”
- Hearing this, you can’t help but let out a brief but harsh cackle, making the ground jolt from the abruptness. “DEAR YOU HONESTLY THINK A SOUL COULD BE SO EASY TO DESTROY? A SOUL IS A POWERFUL THING FOR A REASON CHILD, IF THEY WERE SO EASILY DESTROYED THEN NONE OF YOU WOULD BE STANDING HERE BEFORE ME NOW!…SO ONCE AGAIN, WHO. DID. THIS?! AND SO HELP ME, IF I HAVE TO ASK AGAIN THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES.”
- Whilst Sera is dumbfounded by this revelation, Adam sees a golden opportunity to save his ass and points at Sera. “I-It was her! Yeah it was all fucking HER idea! I-I tried to tell her it was stupid, b-but she just REALLY wanted to go down and kill those bast- Demons! Yeah she REALLY wanted to kill all those poor Demons, can ya fucking believe this shit?!”
- Before Sera can defend herself, the darkness seems to intensify, and she can just FEEL every one of your eyes glaring daggers into her. “SERA…YOU SIGNED OFF ON THIS?? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, I EXPECTED SO MUCH BETTER FROM YOU! I LEFT EXPLICIT INSTRUCTIONS FOR HEAVEN AND HELL TO WORK TOGETHER TO SORT SOULS FOR THIS VERY REASON! AND NOW BECAUSE OF THESE BARBARIC “EXTERMINATIONS”, YOU’VE COMPLETELY DESTROYED THE BALANCE I WORKED SO HARD TO CREATE AND MAINTAIN. I HOPE YOU’RE PROUD OF YOURSELF, BECAUSE I’M CERTAINLY NOT!”
- It’s a strange and mildly amusing sight to see the head seraph get scolded like a misbehaving child by this massive dark entity. But here we are anyway!
- At one point during the tongue lashing you’re giving to your niece, Emily buts in and asks for an explanation for what’s going on; having not heard Sera’s previous explanation to Adam apparently.
- Your temper flares for a brief moment, and you just about launched into another lecture at the little shit who DARED interrupt you. But upon seeing Emily, you softened considerably, seeing that she was young and TRULY didn’t understand what was happening.
- “AH…I APOLOGIZE DEAR, BUT I DON’T THINK I RECOGNIZE YOU…COME CLOSER LITTLE ONE SO I CAN SEE YOU.” You slowly crouch down and lower your hand, offering Emily to climb onto it. Emily is hesitant, obviously a bit scared of you. But Sera encourages her to go to you, she knows that you won’t hurt Emily and it’s high time she meets her aunt anyway.
- With the small seraph in hand, you stand back up to your full height and bring her closer to your face. Now FINALLY able to see her properly, you speak. “YOU’RE FAIRLY YOUNG FOR A SERAPH…YOU MUST’VE BEEN BORN DURING MY SLUMBER, AND IN THAT CASE I APOLOGIZE THIS HAD TO BE OUR FIRST MEETING. TELL ME, WHAT IS YOUR NAME CHILD?”
- Her voice trembling slightly, Emily tells you her name and then asks who you are and asks if you’re a seraph like her and Sera. The innocent question gets a genuine laugh out of you, and despite it shaking the ground it’s a lovely sound. “OH CHILD, I AM FAR FROM BEING A SERAPH. THOUGH I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULD THINK THAT. YOU WERE ALL MADE IN MY IMAGE AFTER ALL.”
- Seeing the visible confusion on Emily’s face, you elaborated. “LONG AGO, YOUR FATHER WANTED TO SHOW HIS APPRECIATION OF ME. SO FOR HIS FIRST SENTIENT CREATIONS, THE SERAPHIM, HE BASED THEM ALL ON ME.” Emily looks surprised, and follows up by asking how you know God.
- You give another genuine laugh at her question. “SWEETY I’M HIS YOUNGER SISTER, I AM “DEATH”, THE GODDESS OF WELL…DEATH. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME “D” OR “AUNT D”, MOST OF YOUR SIBLINGS DO.” Emily’s mind is blown “Wait! YOU’RE aunt D?! Sera told me all kinds of stories about you before you went to sleep, like the time you got into an argument with Father over his invention of the “Snuggie”. I never thought I’d get to meet you!”
- “IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A BATHROBE YOU WORE BACKWARDS, AND I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE HE THOUGHT THAT WAS AT ALL CLEVER.” You huff, feeling amusement and mild irritation at that memory.
- “SPEAKING OF YOUR FATHER, WHERE IS HE?” Sera speaks up, having managed to recollect herself, and explains that no one has seen or heard a word from God since before you went to sleep.
- The irritated snarl that leaves your throat sounds like thunder and shakes the ground, making everyone tremble with fear. “THAT LAZY BASTARD HAD ONE FUCKING JOB, WATCH HIS DAMN KIDS, AND HE COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT?! NO WONDER THIS ALL HAPPENED THEN, HE LEFT YOU ALL UNSUPERVISED!”
- Bending over, you carefully set Emily down before standing back up. “I HATE TO CUT MY INTRODUCTION SHORT, BUT APPARENTLY I NEED TO GO AND HAVE A LITTLE CHAT WITH YOUR FATHER.” You stare pointedly at Sera and continue. “DON’T THINK THIS MEANS YOU’RE ENTIRELY OFF THE HOOK EITHER. WHILE YES, YOUR FATHER’S ABSENCE IS MOSTLY TO BLAME FOR THIS DEBACLE, YOU ALSO KNOW BETTER THAN TO DO SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS. WE WILL BE DISCUSSING THIS MORE ONCE I FINISH WITH YOUR FATHER, AND IF I COME BACK AND FIND OUT YOU HELD ANY MORE OF THESE “EXTERMINATIONS” I WILL TURN YOU INTO A HOLLOW! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?” Looking at the ground, Sera nods and says “Yes Auntie D…”
- Satisfied with that response, you bid everyone farewell and slowly melt back into the ground, completely disappearing. Once you’re gone, the sunlight is back and it’s as if you were never there.
- Now the seraphim have to soothe the murmuring crowd while Sera starts attempting to get in contact with Lucifer to let him know that “Hey Aunt D found out about the exterminations and is NOT happy about it. She just got done yelling at me, and now she’s on her way to go read Father the riot act. Just warning you now because once she’s done with him, you’re probably gonna be next.”
- Lucifer receives the message and is now frantically trying to create peace offerings in hopes they’ll make you more amicable, while also preemptively planning his own funeral in case the peace offerings don’t work.
- Meanwhile in God’s palace, God is currently relaxing in an elaborate hot tub and watching American football on an absurdly large TV whilst drinking wine like it’s water. He’s pretty drunk and having a grand time yelling at the TV.
- His fun is interrupted through by you literally kicking in the door and storming in, you’ve shrunken down to your smaller size so all your features are actually visible now and not covered in darkness as you glare at your older brother with an intensity that could peel paint.
- God startled momentarily before seeing it’s you and giving you a dopey smile. He’s also in his smaller form, so that makes things slightly easier for you. “Ohhh heeeyyy Death!…You startled me thereee…It’zzzz beeen awhillle, huh?” You scoff at his slurred speech, in disbelief that he could be so drunk right now.
- “Yes, it HAS been awhile. Good to see that you still choose to spend your days getting completely wasted instead of tending to your children.” You answer tersely, and God rolls his eyes. “Zzstill the saaame old ssstuck up bitch…Tha kidzz are fahine Deee! Yyyoou should cohme haave ah drink wib meee.”
- You ignore God’s offer for a drink and cut right to the chase. “No, your kids are NOT fine! When was the last time you checked in on them?! Do you even know what they’re up to right now??!” God dismissively waves his hand and chugs more wine. “I juzzt checked on thhhem ah couple decades aghooo..They’rrre prohably makinnn neeewh liffe.”
- “God that is a load of shit, and you know it! I was JUST down in Heaven, and the seraphim told me that you haven’t seen or spoken to ANY of them since I left to take my nap eons ago! And furthermore, while you’ve been in here drinking the day away, your children have COMPLETELY destroyed the balance we created! They’ve been mass slaughtering Demons annually for millennia now, and Limbo is a complete disaster right now because of this!” Hearing this, God looks down at his bottle of whine, embarrassed, and mumbles an awkward “oh”.
- Silence hangs heavy in the air for a moment before God clears his throat and says. “Zzsooo…You’rrree NNOT gooing to drink wiff me?” At this you snap and snatch the wine bottle from God and chuck it at the TV, smashing the bottle and the TV. God shouts in anger but before he can ask you wtf that was for, you just lay into him. Calling him a deadbeat and pathetic excuse of a deity.
- “How can you just sit in here day after day, while your CHILDREN are out there causing such mayhem! Do you not love your children all??!” God is shouting back at you, his anger having sobered him up some so he’s not slurring as much. “How DARE you accuse me of not loving my children! I would giive ANYTHING for them and you know that!”
- “Then fucking ACT like it!! Don’t just sit in here and rot your mind with booze and TV!” God growls. “I don’t need you to tell meee how to handle my children! Why do you even care?! It’zzz not like they’re yours anyway!”
- “I care because they are part of MY family, and I want my family to be safe and happy, something that you couldn’t give less of a shit about apparently!” God throws his hands up at this point “Well what do you want from me Death, go hhhold their handz?! My children are ALL capable of thinking and being on their own, they don’t NEED me to do shit for them!”
- “That doesn’t mean that they don’t still need you there emotionally! But with the way you act maybe it’s best you ARE never there! After all, what use could any of them get from your pathetic drunk ass!!” This clearly struck a nerve as God points back at the door you came in through and roars at you to get the fuck out of his house. Growling, you give a harsh “Fine!” and tell him he can sit and be a drunk deadbeat all he wants because you’re done with him and his shit, and he’s NEVER to contact you again unless it’s in regards to his children or business.
- You stomp out of God’s palace and return to Limbo, wanting to start working on getting things cleaned up and cool off some before you go check on things in Hell.
- Once you’re gone though, God slumps his shoulders and hangs his head. With your venomous words echoing his head, he summons another bottle of wine and begins chugging it while he trudges into his bedchambers.
- He flops down onto the bed and picks up a framed photo and slowly brings it closer to his face. It’s an old photo, one taken shortly after God created the first few seraphim. You and God are both standing next to each other, arms around each other’s shoulders and leaning in close while the first seraphim all stand in between the two of you. Everyone is absolutely beaming, and God looks especially happy; so proud of his creations.
- Tears drop onto the photo as God remembers how things used to be back then, back when he was actually NEEDED by those around him and wasn’t just some brand figure who’s only job is to smile and wave. Even as he slowly sets the photo down, tears continue to fall and he holds his head in his hands. “…I’m sorry I’m so damn useless…Hopefully you’ll forgive me someday…Not that I deserve it though…I’m…so fucking sorry…” No one is there to hear God’s sobs, and eventually he passes out. He’d rather be dreaming of happier times anyway.
#damn this ended up being WAY longer than i intended#and with a bit of angst no less!#god isn’t a bad guy he’s just SUPER depressed and suffering an existential crisis#basically after creating the angelic beings he didn’t really have to do anything anymore#because the angels were able to create and think on their own#so there isn’t really anything for god to do now because the angels can do it themselves#with so much time on his hands he started questioning his existence and what he was even meant to do#he feels completely useless because he truly believes that if he isn’t constantly creating things then he has no purpose#he deals with this by holing up in his palace and drinking himself silly and getting high#he has not told you this primarily because he doesn’t know how#he’s much like his son lucifer in that he’s not great at discussing his feelings#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x death! reader#death reader#i like to imagine the seraphim have a group chat and sera just posts in it like ‘aunt d found out about the exorcisms. we’re all dead.’#and it starts blowing up with everyone freaking out and trying to figure out wtf they’re gonna do#lucifer is preparing for the ass whooping you’re gonna give him
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