#if that’s a thing you’re also in the habit of doing

[irndad]

i wish i knew you wanted me - s.r.

a/n: okay this ended up being so so long forgive me!!! i hope you like<3 summary: based loosely on 'bad habit'. spencer got asked out by reader 5 years ago, when he was recovering from his dilaudid addiction, and turned her down. now, he's in love with her, and pining for her. also, jealous!spencer. she fell first, he fell harder. wc: ~2k

She’s very pretty. It’s distracting. Right now, she’s staring intently at his hands, and he feels hot under her gaze. It’s been a while since he’s done this, the little rocket trick, but she’s visiting the office, and Garcia had mentioned he’s a magician. 

“That’s incredible!” She exclaims, a giggle in her laugh, and he feels the swoop of his stomach, the butterflies of it all, “You got them so high up!”

“It’s just physics,” he laughs, meeting her warm gaze. Her smile is one for the ages. 

She’s here dropping off a file. They’ve known eachother a really long time, actually. She was an expert witness for them, once, years ago. She spoke with ease, both on the stand and in person. Equal measure kind and measured, and Spencer had adored her on first glance. They’d met when he was just getting clean from Dilaudid, and Spencer’s been in love with her since not long after than first meeting. That’s pretty much the only thing about her he wishes he could take back. 

He still has a hard time thinking about it, the fact that he met her when he was barely himself. Still, she’d been kind, listened to him talk and let the others tell her that he was…going through something. It was on his two month sobriety date (which she’d had no way of knowing) that she’d asked him out. 

Sometimes, when he can’t sleep, he replays the memory in his head. How she works just south of their office, and how they’d meet at the café nearest, and chat for an hour before calling a cab home. 

On the other side of the veil, he can picture that night, years ago now. How she’d looked with the snow kissing her nose, dotting the edges of her faux-fur hood. She’d stuck out her tongue to catch a snowflake, and he’d almost combusted and the adorability of it. 

“You look nice,” she’d said, although at the time he’s pretty sure he looked gaunt. He’d only recently started to gain the weight back- but still, her praise felt like stardust. 

“You look nicer,” he’d said back, gently bumping her shoulder as a fond gesture. Her little grin is well-worth how awkward they both look on the street.

“Listen,” she had said, stuffing her hands into her pockets, the size of the coat causing her hands to disapear from sight entirely, “I asked JJ and Morgan, and they said you’re not seeing anyone.”

“Oh, yeah. They love reminding me of that. Not everyone can be like Morgan and have dated half the western hemsiphere.”

He felt embarrassed, her watching him. It’s nice, but sometimes feels like staring into the sun. 

Her chuckle was nervous, not fully reaching her eyes. 

“You okay? 

“Yeah,” she swallowed again, before speaking, “I was wondering, um, if you might want to grab a drink with me?”

“Sure,” he’d replied back, amenably. He couldn’t tell why she looked so nervous, “I can’t really do hard liquor, though. Maybe we can invite the team.”

“No, Spence, I was wondering if you and I could go on a um, a date.”

And he’s frozen. Because this might be the second time he’d ever been asked out, and second, this might be his dream girl. She’s gorgeous and kind and she’s in front of him, asking him out. 

“I um,” his mouth was dry. He’d be a bad boyfriend. He was a recovering drug addict who already was bad at talking to people, and she lit up a room whenever she walked in. She finds him easy to be with, easy to care for and he’s bound to fuck it up. He couldn’t imagine giving that up because he was too greedy to take what he got. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

He almost took it back with incredible speed, with that flash of disapointment on her lovely face, and the knowledge that it’s because she wanted him, before she quickly regained her speech.

“That’s totally alright! We’ll just be good friends, yeah?”

In the here and now, they are friends. Best of, really. And he made the right choice. He’d lashed out at Emily a month later in a withdrawl, and he knows that he’d have done the same to her, and now, she’s still in his life. 

The drawbacks of course, to being her friend, means she has dates. Boyfriends, as well, and he’s been a…friend, through it all. Good friend. She’s never suspeced him of anything more, of course, after he’d categorically rejected it. 

(Even though this rejection plays in his head all the fucking time, like a torturous groundhog day.)

She’s beautiful today, a blue blouse with a scarf lazily around her neck, and the way she’s leaning over his desk to see the  trick before she drops off her analysis. 

“Alright, Spence,” she says, her rose perfume wafting in the air prior to her hopping off the corner, “Did you need anything else? Today is my half-day, and Harry wanted to take me to Art Insititute.”

Harry, is the boy on rotation at the moment. Spencer has no impulse control and a super-computer expert best friend, so Spencer knows that Harry is 6’0 on his Driver’s License, and is a Financial Analyst. Spencer knows from her own mouth that this will be the third date, and that he’s a little boring but she’s attracted to the fact that he was direct and wanted to go out again. 

Low bar, but one Spencer couldn’t even clear. He doesn’t say any of that, though.

“That sounds fun,” he says, instead of saying that he’d love to walk her through the inscriptions on each art piece, love to kiss her in front of something thats’ beauty does not come close to her’s. “Are you thinking it might run long, or are we still doing the bookstore and TV at mine after?”

He’s been looking forward to this all week. He bought special marshmallows for her cocoa. He also htes to imagine her date running long. 

“Nah,” she smiles, “besides, he’s just some guy. You’re Spencer.”

Morgan doesn’t say anything when he looks down at his. paperwork, and scribbles instead of thinking, the best he can. 

________________________________

Don’t think about the fact she was on a date. Don’t think about how Harry might have got to kiss her. Just don’t bring it up. 

“How was the date?”

She shrugged, pulling at the spine of a hardcover novel. 

“It was fine. Like I said, he was kind of boring.”

“So why’d you go out with him again?”

“I dunno, Spence, I just… I want a boyfriend, you know? I want someone to want to be with me.”

She is so beautiful. She laughs with her whole chest, and she listens to his stories and chimes in with her own expertise. She has a voice that seems like it’s spun gold thread, and he’d give anything to kiss her. 

“I get that,” he says, instead of anything he’s thinking. She’s wearing brown lipstick, transfer proof. He’s in love with her. “There’s got to be guys lining up for a girl like you.”

“That’s a nice thought, Spence. Not the ones I’d like.”

___________________________

This thought haunts his evening, and when he parks and they start the walk-up to his apartment, a confession hammering at his throat, a physical urge. She’s giggling at some long physics joke he’d made, and he’s addicted to the soft bell of her laughter.

His apartment is small and lovely, and he enjoys having her in the small and dark of the night, the sun set over what he wishes were two lovers. 

“You are really pretty, you know,” he says, once she’s settled into his chest, a sick satisfaction of knowing Harry got a quick thank you text before she darted over to Spencer’s arms. 

“Thanks, Spencer. You’re a good friend.”

“Why do you always say that?”

“That you’re a good friend?”

“I’m not saying you’re pretty because I’m a good friend. I’m saying it because it’s true, and I enjoy saying true things.” 

“You don’t…I don’t know why you’re saying that, Spencer. We’re friends and I adore you and I’m here right now, but you don’t need to make it harder on me.”

She looks nervous, and a little disapointed. He wants her to know, that even if he’s missed his shot, she’s not going to be alone. He’s gonna spend the rest of his life hating whoever knew to take the best thing offered to him, but Spencer- he knows he is not going to be the last to love her. He grabs her hand without thinking, her doe eyes peering into his with some emotion he can’t pin down. 

“Hey, I’m not trying…to make anything hard for you. I don’t ever want to do that. I just… some day someone’s gonna see you and want to be with you and I’m going to watch it and know it was inevitable.” 

The words taste like barbed wire. 

Ask me again, he wants to beg, I’m ready now. I’ll do it right. 

Is that even true? Is it just that he wants her bad enough he’s willing to risk not doing it right?

“You’re so sweet,” she sobs, and oh, she’s crying. Just a little, but tears prick at the corners of her eyes. “You make it so hard to be your friend. And I know that’s my problem, that you’ve always been straight up with me. I asked you out and you said no, and I know that-“

“I know that I was too late, and freaked out about being with someone like you when I was still so fucked up.” they’re so close to eachother, he can smell her chapstick. His chest aches. “Sweetheart, that had nothing to do with you. It was all me. It’s a train I missed that I’m gonna spend the rest of my life wishing I’d caught.”

He feels uncomfortably bare, even in the oversized sweater that she’d gotten him last Christmas, and that he’d pretended had been from his lover all of that week. But it’s important that she knows.

“What do you mean, ‘too late’?”

Her voice is small, so quiet he barely hears it. She threads her nimble fingers into his slender ones, and his heart is hammering. 

“I-I was on Dilaudid, or just barely off, you know- you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me. You asked me out when you didn’t even know that.”

“I know you now. Years worth of knowing.”

“And you haven’t asked me since.” 

“Spencer,” her voice is warm, rich like silk and grainy old music, and he wants to drink this image in, her fingers stroking the side of his face like he’s holy. He wonders if he’s dreaming, with how good she feels to be so close to. 

Ask me again, he wants to beg. I’m ready, now. 

“Spencer Walter Reid,” she says, properly holding his hand, bringing her soft lips to his hand, kissing his knuckle. He feels anointed, blessed by a higher power. “Could I take you out on a date?”

“Yes,” he says, finally. Five years of waiting melts away as he kisses her, warmth and light seeping into existence, a dream brought to tangible life, to touch and reality, “Actually, wait,” he says, and finishes before her face can fall, “Would you be my girlfriend?”

It’s maybe playing his cards too much, but her wide, ear to ear splitting grin is everything he needs to see, everything he might need to see for the rest of his life. 

“Took you long enough, boy-genius.”

“All you had to do was ask again!”

If she has a complaint about that, it certainly couldn’t be heard by the many, many kisses that would follow. 

[tbaluver]

Can you do the boys with a mentally unwell reader? Like she has depression, ocd, or anxiety that she takes medication for?

S/O Who Faces Mental Illness- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader tags: ( for all ) mentioning of depression/ depressive episodes, ocd rituals, anxiety/ social anxiety a/n: hi anonnie ! ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ sorry this took awhile, this was sitting in my drafts and i would keep coming back to it. i just wanted to make sure this topic is handled with care. i know that everyone has different types of depression, anxiety, and ocd so i wrote the ones that i'm familar with and gone through. i hope this was okay lmk ! ̤̮

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

Xavier has always been such an attentive lover to you and he’s grown increasingly worried as he observed your unhealthy habits. He notices how you spend more time in bed than usual, longer than he would stay in bed. How you seem disinterested in eating, even if it were foods you typically enjoyed. Noticing how these impacts have affected you, he has made the effort to educate himself better on what you’re going through to understand and support you better.

If you were taking any medications, he'll read the entire packet that came with it or look up as much information he can online. He'll try to remember all the side effects that comes with it and makes sure to check up on you whenever you take them.

He notices when your energy plummets so it’s his duty to take care of you. He tries to make everything easy for you. He’ll make sure to tuck both of you in bed, turning off the lights when you both get ready, making sure to have food delivered when you wake up. Xavier encourages you to take a walk outside with him, helping you get some fresh air and encouraging you to step out of bed. He’ll hold your hand the entire time.

Distractions were one of the ways he could get your mind off any anxious thoughts or from any of your OCD rituals. He'll have a list of your favorite things to do and see if it helps. He'll stay with you in bed all day if that's what you need and wouldn't let you isolate yourself. Will also build a fort to cuddle you up in and have you tucked in his arms.

Anytime you two were out and you started to feel drained, then he'll take you back home. You two can stay in and cuddle.

He never pushes you beyond your comfort levels. If there was any situation where you started to feel uncomfortable, then he'll lead the situation and you somewhere else that sets you more at ease.

Zayne:

Zayne is no stranger to the topics of mental illness. He’s gone through extensive studies and many clinical experiences with patients. But with you, it's different. Your struggles aren’t just a clinical case to him, they’re personal. He’s acutely attuned to subtle changes of your mood and actions. He notices the quiet shifts in your expressions, or the way your eyes dull and lose their sparkle. Even though it’s hard to read through his expressions, it truly does hurt him to see you suffer. Your internal pain that you battle inside hurts him more than words can convey.

If you were to go through a depressive episode and you feel like you can’t do everything you need, then Zayne has no problem doing the extra housework or helping you with your physical health. He would reassure you to not feel guilty even though he’s busy with his work or any paperwork's. You have done so much as a loving partner to him and he will always return the favor for you.

He’ll help you shower and dress you up. He'll make sure to brush your hair gently and that you brush your teeth. He’ll even make sure you eat enough and he’ll praise you for taking every bites.

He’s always there for you. Even if he was in the middle of work, he would remind you to never hesitate to reach out whenever you feel isolated or just needed to vent, anything. Spam him, leave voice messages- he’ll read every word and listen to each message and reply with care. No matter how busy he might be, he’ll find a way to call you as soon as he can. He wants to make sure you’re okay and to remind you that you’re never alone, even when he’s away. Your well-being matters so deeply to him that he’s committed to be there for you in every possible way.

He'll keep note of all the side effects you've experienced with your medications, so he's aware of the potential issues that might arise when you take them. Will send you texts reminding you to take your meds at the right time and to make sure you eat before you take them so you don’t get nauseous.

He’s a very attentive and caring partner, he pays close attention to the triggers of your OCD and observes the coping mechanisms you have. He notices your struggle with hand washing compulsions and understands how these rituals can take a toll on you. He’ll try to help you by pointing out that excessive hand washing can actually be harmful, as it washes away the beneficial ones that your body needs.

He'll be very reassuring when you feel the need to constantly check up on things. He won't judge you for it but instead he'll offer to check on it himself and reassure you that everything is okay.

It wouldn’t be new to him to avoid places that were crowded or super noisy. He would know where all the less crowded and quiet places are. At this point, he already had taken the time to understand your triggers and sources of anxiety. He just wanted to be well-informed so he can help you avoid these situations and provide the support and care you need.

If you were to experience an anxiety attack, he remains calm and patient and helps you try to breathe. Whenever you need to vent, he’s always there for you. He’ll let you curl up on his lap while you talk, gently stroking your hair. Although he’s quiet while you talk, you know he listens to every detail and he doesn’t want to interrupt you. After you finish sharing, he’ll offer advice or discuss the situation to help you work through it together.

Rafayel:

He knows that you were going through significant struggles because it often kept you doing certain things with him. There are times when the weight of your depression and anxiety feels so heavy that it drains your motivation, making your favorite hobbies or simply just doing anything seem out of reach. Sometimes the intensity of your OCD leads you to stay up, unable to rest because you repeatedly check things like the light switches, doors, windows, and everything else in the house.

OCD is a topic that Rafayel wouldn’t tease or be playful on with you. He notices the small things when you repeat patterns or prefer certain number sets. He’s very patient and understanding about this topic but anytime you feel as if your ocd ritual was messed up, he is quick to run to your side and reassure you that everything will be okay.

Rafayel has been in a dark place himself so he knows the signs when you’re struggling. Whether you’ve been through this over and over again, he’ll help you through this every single time. If you don't have the energy to take a shower or a bath, then he’ll simply carry you and wash you himself. He’ll join you and use your favorite bath bomb scents and make it a little fun by blowing bubbles at you. A smile would curl up on his lips when he sees you smiling again.

He wouldn’t force you to talk. He’ll do most of the talking and hopefully it takes your mind off anything you were anxious about. When you are ready to talk, he’ll praise you. It’s a big step forward in healing and he would be listening attentively to everything you say.

Rafayel would text you throughout the day and ask how you were feeling. He's always there at your beck and call. If you need anything, he already has it and he's on his way to you.

If you were out in public and you started to feel uneasy, he would lead you somewhere else. Rafayel would always be holding your hand for security and to make sure you were always right by his side. He doesn't mind wherever you both go, as long as he's with you. He makes sure that you two can go to places that aren't crowded or noisy but still enjoyable and fun for the both of you.

He’s very worried whenever you take medications. He knows that they can have some mean and nasty side effects and that’s the last thing he would want you to go through. He’ll always make sure to check up on you a couple hours later to see how you’re holding up.

Sylus:

It does not take him long to notice you were acting off. Nothing can get past this man and he doesn’t want you to feel like you have anything to hide from him. No matter what the issue is, he isn’t leaving your side and you’ll both work on the issue together. He doesn’t want you to go through anything alone.

When you feel empty and you simply want to sink into your bed and lay there motionless because everything in the world was just too much, Sylus will not hesitate to take action. He’ll make sure you're eating nutritious meals by calling his private chefs or he’ll make them himself. He’ll sit right beside you and watch you take enough bites or he’ll spoon feed it to you himself. Sylus would make sure to tell you that you were doing so well even if the bites were big or small. After you are done eating, he’ll make sure that you take all your meds and check up on you if any of the side effects arise.

He’ll be right by your side at any doctor's appointments. He’ll carry you to the bathroom himself or he’ll use his evol to help wash, dry, and dress you up. Sylus would encourage you as well to go on walks with him so your body is still moving and so you can get some fresh air. He does all of this because he loves you and he doesn’t want you to lose any of the progress you made. He knows your capabilities and he knows you will get through this. He’ll be right by your side the entire time.

When he notices that your OCD rituals are becoming overwhelming, he doesn't hesitate to step in to help. He finds engaging activities for the both of you to do so it steers your focus away from the obsessive thoughts. Understanding how OCD can distort your perceptions, he uses distractions as a way to gently pull you out of that obsessive cycle.

Sylus would let you know that he’s accessible. Whenever you need him, feel free to call him any time and he’ll drop anything and come by to help you.

Don't even bother brushing off any of your issues. Anything that bothers you, he's always there to listen and help you. He’s a great listener and he never judges you for any problems you had and the reason behind your behavior. His shoulder is for you to lean on, cry on, laugh on, and hold on, etc. He’s understanding and wants you to be happy again.

When he’s away, he will have food delivered to you. He’ll make sure you eat and that you take your meds right after by calling or texting to remind you. Or he’ll just send Mephisto to you. He’ll caw/squawk repeatedly until you finish your meals.

[wheres-mylove]

ice-cold revelations - modern!cregan stark x fem!velaryon!reader

Summary: You are in a risky secret relationship with your brother's best friend. What happens when Cregan's unexpected injury exposes your feelings? Well, isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?

Disclaimer: English isn't my first language!

Word count: 2.8k

The wind tore through the streets with a biting ferocity, tugging at (Y/N)’s skirt and making her instantly regret both her outfit choice and this entire trip to the bus stop.

“Stupid winter has to be coming,” she muttered, yanking a colorful scarf up to cover her nose. Her phone chimed in her pocket, vibrating with the familiar sound of a new message. She fumbled with one hand to pull it out, her fingers stiff from the cold.

🐺: jace wouldn’t stop bugging me about that earring under my bed

🐺: i convinced him sara must’ve left it when she crashed at our place lmao

(Y/N) raised her eyebrows, her breath fogging the air as she sighed. The last thing she needed was her brother playing the part of a suspicious rom-com wife, finding random jewelry in odd places and jumping to conclusions. At least he hadn’t figured out where he’d seen that earring before.

Jacaerys Velaryon, as much as she adored him, had a habit of being a little too protective. He was always there when she needed him. But he was also the kind of brother who, despite being only a few minutes older, seemed to think that fact gave him full control over her dating life. Any guy who so much as glanced her way was either a potential threat or one of his friends. And friends were off-limits. Too much drama, he’d say. Too awkward if things went south. Even more awkward if things somehow worked out. Conflict of interest. Absolutely not.

Which was precisely why, in the grand scheme of things, the most logical solution was for her to start dating his best friend and his hockey team captain, Cregan Stark.

Cregan was wonderful. The kind of guy who would do anything for her, no questions asked. That's what had brought them to where they were now. Hiding their relationship from her dramatic brother and quite literally gaslighting him.

Did she feel guilty? Absolutely. Did she know it would be a hundred times worse if Jace found out? Also yes.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a bus speeding past the stop, tires screeching as it flew by. Her bus. Of course.

With impressive force, she pressed the green phone icon.

“Hey, sweetheart. What’s up?” Cregan answered in three seconds. Her irritation melted a little at the sound of his deep voice. Down bad.

“Hey, did you guys finish practice?”

“Yeah, just now, I couldn’t cut the boys any slack before tomorrow.”

“Any chance the strict captain could give me a ride home? I missed the bus. Or more like the bus missed me.”

“You’re kidding,” Cregan said, sympathy already thick in his voice. “Of course I’ll come get you.” He paused for a beat, then cleared his throat. “Only thing is… Jace wanted a ride too.”

“The gods are punishing me today,” she groaned.

“Call him. It'll be the same ride. Just, you know, he'll think it was his idea,” Cregan suggested.

“Are we bad people, Cregan?” she asked, half-serious now.

“Nah. He’ll find out eventually, just better if I’m in full hockey gear when it happens.”

“Fair enough,” she said, the corner of her mouth lifting in a smile. “Thanks. Love you. Bye.”

She hung up and immediately dialed her brother, requesting the same exact thing.

“Sure, you owe me one though,” he said cheerfully. “I don’t have my car today, so we’ll have to go with Stark. Is that a problem?”

“Nope.” No, her boyfriend wouldn’t be a problem.

(Y/N) Velaryon paced back and forth under the shelter of the bus stop, her boots crunching against the thin layer of frost that had already formed on the pavement. She rubbed her arms, trying to keep the cold at bay, when the familiar growl of a black Jeep Wrangler cut through the quiet. It rolled to a stop near the curb.

She jogged toward the car, her breath puffing out in small clouds, as the driver’s window slid down.

“Your chariot awaits, princess,” Cregan announced with a mock flourish.

“More like a toad,” Jace quipped from the passenger seat, his grin unmistakable.

“One more word and you’ll get my bag to the head. I’ve got half my textbooks in there,” she threatened playfully as she slid into the backseat.

The backseat of this car had witnessed many events, and that was the first thought that crossed her mind. One look at Cregan in the side mirror, and she knew he was thinking the same.

She pretended to be very engrossed in buckling her seatbelt.

“How was practice?” she asked out of politeness.

“Not bad. Stark was all business today, but it was necessary. Big day tomorrow,” Jace replied, fiddling with the radio. Cregan slapped his hand away as he slowed down for a red light.

“Great,” the girl muttered, not trusting her tongue around the two of them together.

An awkward silence fell, broken only by some random song. How long can a red light last?

“So, (Y/N),” Cregan began, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. His voice wavered, but Jace was in his own world, watching pedestrians crossing the street. “How’s it going? How was your day?”

“Pretty good,” she replied, playing with the hem of her skirt. “Though the classes dragged on.”

The devil on her shoulder won an uneven fight with the weak angel. She smirked.

“‘M absolutely knackered.”

Cregan inhaled slowly through his nose.

“Dude, it’s green,” Jace informed him, just before the car behind them honked.

“I can see,” Cregan reassured him, finally moving forward. “I’ll need your sister’s address since I’ve never been there before.”

If Jace had one more brain cell, he wouldn’t be so easily fooled.

“Sure thing,” her brother agreed, typing the info into the GPS on his phone. “Hey, kid, are you coming to the game tomorrow?”

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” (Y/N) asked angrily, kicking his seat. “Baela’s taking me.”

“You know what I think?” Jace started, spreading his arms dramatically. “A girlfriend in the stands is such a power boost. Such a boost… I never play as well as when Baela supports me from the bleachers.”

“You never play well,” His sister muttered under her breath, but her brother was currently listening only to himself.

“Cregan wouldn’t get it,” He patted Cregan on the shoulder in the meantime. “If you combined your skills with that support, if you brought a girl, trust me, your performance would be a hundred times better.”

“Talented people don’t need superstitions to play well, Jace,” (Y/N) chimed in, leaning forward. “Besides, Cregan is single.”

“Because he’s too serious and broody, girls don’t like that,” her brother declared in a know-it-all voice. She gave him a side-eye. “He is afraid of women.”

“Are you afraid of women, Stark?” she asked seriously, barely holding back laughter.

Cregan shot her a look in the mirror, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Terrified,” he deadpanned. “That’s why I’m thinking maybe your sister should be my good luck charm tomorrow. Just as a friend, of course.”

“Eh, it’s not the same,” Jace protested, scrunching his face.

“Don’t you believe in the power of friendship?” the driver asked with full seriousness.

“Can I get a jersey with your number?” (Y/N) batted her lashes playfully at her boyfriend.

A jersey with his number was already hanging in her closet.

“Alright, you’ll see, you need deeper feelings for it to work, otherwise it just won’t…”

Jacaerys continued his monologue all the way to her apartment. The girl sighed with relief once she was back in her room, the familiarity of it a welcome escape from the tension.

Two new messages.

🐺: you looked so pretty today

🐺: but next time wear a damn coat, or you’ll catch a cold!!!

The fluorescent light above (Y/N)’s head flickered ominously, casting creepy shadows across the cramped janitor’s closet. She swore that if the bulb died completely, she'd either pee her pants or spiral into a full-blown claustrophobic meltdown. Leaning back against the wall, she tried to focus on the neatly arranged rows of brooms and mops. Soon, the door creaked open, revealing Cregan in all his glory.

Full hockey gear? Check. Helmet? Tucked under his arm. That goofy, ridiculous smile? Definitely check.

“You look so good,” she admitted, grabby hands already in the air. “Come here.”

Cregan shut the door behind him with a soft click, casting a glance at the flickering light overhead. He sighed, took one of her hands, and kissed her wrist softly. 

“We have to tell your brother,” Stark said, his voice serious as he placed his helmet on the wooden shelf beside them. “It’s not right that my girl has to sneak me a good-luck kiss in a smelly closet. You should be able to strut right into the locker room.”

His girl grinned. “You’ve got your gear on,” she pointed out. “We can tell him after the game. Besides, Baela’s softening him up for us. I asked her to.”

Baela Targaryen was known for sniffing out secrets, and the second she spotted (Y/N) wearing Cregan’s jersey before the game, she didn’t even need to ask. Her knowing look said it all, and within minutes, Velaryon girl spilled the truth, enduring Baela’s delighted squeal that had probably echoed for miles.

“I knew you had high standards, girl. Going straight for the captain!” Baela teased, laughing. “Jace obviously doesn’t know? He hasn’t said anything... and Stark’s still breathing.”

Thankfully, Baela had been more than willing to help, distracting Jace so Cregan could sneak away after the pre-game pep talk. Now, Cregan was looking at (Y/N) with pride, his eyes lingering on the jersey she wore. 

“She’s a real one for that,” he mused. “But seriously, we have to tell him. I want a picture of us on my lock screen, and that asshole keeps looking over my shoulder.”

She laughed, pulling him closer and kissing him hard, savoring the way his rough stubble tickled her skin.

“For now,” she murmured against his lips, “just focus on the game. You’re incredible. An amazing captain. And it’s going to go great. I believe in you.”

Cregan grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Maybe one more kiss. Just to make sure we win.”

“The power of having a girl in the stands,” she teased, poking his chest playfully.

“Jace definitely exaggerated that theory,” Cregan admitted with a chuckle. “But honestly... I’m just glad you’re here.”

With butterflies in her stomach and a grin she couldn’t wipe off her face, (Y/N) found herself in the stands minutes later, sitting next to Baela. Her friend was watching the silent exchange of glances between her and Cregan with thinly veiled amusement.

“I always knew Jace was blind, but this is just tragic,” Baela remarked, elbowing her in the ribs. Jace, oblivious as ever, waved enthusiastically from the rink. Both girls waved back, cheering with the crowd.

“You’ll boo with me when the Dornish Spears come out, right?” (Y/N) asked.

Baela gave her a mock-serious look. “Technically, we shouldn’t. Obviously, I will,” she promised. 

The game was fast, brutal, and nearly deadlocked until the very end. (Y/N) had never yelled so much in her life, though her shouts were lost in the deafening roar of the crowd. Cregan played like a man possessed, commanding the ice with his usual grace. At least twenty times during the match, she found herself holding her breath, her heart leaping into her throat with every risky play. But she knew he had it under control. He always did.

Of course they won.

The victory rippled through the stands like a wave, and (Y/N) screamed herself hoarse as the crowd erupted around her. Cregan pulled off his helmet, his eyes scanning the stands until he found her. His smile—tired and breathtaking—was for her, and her alone. She didn’t regret the ringing in her ears or the scratch in her throat for a second. Moments later, he was swept up in a sea of celebrating teammates.

“Girl, are you crying?” Baela asked, pulling her into a hug.

“I don’t know,” She sniffled. “I’m just emotional. I just like that boy so fucking much, Bae.”

“I know, honey. Come on, they’re heading off the ice. Let’s congratulate them, and then have a crazy party or something. No time for tears.”

Cregan was one of the last players to leave the ice, trailing just behind Jace. But before he could step off, the captain of the opposing team, his face twisted with anger, skated up to him. For a moment, it looked like they might talk it out. But then, it all happened too fast.

The player from Dorne shoved Cregan hard against the wall. Stark, ever the calm one, simply raised his hands in a peaceful gesture.

And then he took a fist to the face. The sickening sound of bone cracking echoed across the rink.

“What the hell is going on? Jace!” Baela shouted, holding her friend back as she tried to rush forward.

Jace jumped back onto the ice, but by the time he got there, the other team had pulled their enraged captain away. Cregan stumbled off the ice just as (Y/N) reached him.

“Are you okay? Oh gods, let me see,” she fretted, her hands hovering near his face.

“What a fucking jerk!” Jace nearly screamed, skidding to a stop by the exit. “I called for help, they’ll be here in a second.”

(Y/N) carefully moved Cregan’s hand away, revealing the damage. His face was a swollen mess, his nose clearly broken.

“Do you think they’ll make me lie face-down on the ice?” Cregan joked weakly, leaning on her for support.

“Does it hurt a lot? Maybe you should sit down. Oh shit, I can’t believe—”

“Hey, sweetheart. Calm down,” Cregan murmured, his voice soothing despite the pain. “It hurts like hell, but I’ll live.”

Just then, the medic arrived, momentarily distracting Jace. But despite the chaos, he had clearly heard what Cregan just said. For a moment, Jace stood there, his face pale as the words and the image before him sank in.

“Sweetheart?” he echoed softly, but no one paid him any attention.

“Jace, maybe now’s not the time,” Baela said gently, stepping up beside him.

“I feel physically sick,” Jace muttered, staggering to the railing for support.

The medic handed Cregan an ice pack. “Hold this to your face for a bit. I’ll get you something for the pain right away, but a doctor’s gonna have to set that nose.”

Cregan winced but smiled through it. “You might wanna check on my friend first,” he said, gesturing toward Jace. “I can wait. He looks like he’s about to pass out.”

Jace did, in fact, end up passing out.

Cregan had to take a break from sports after that little adventure. He’d recovered, but now sported a slightly crooked nose—something his girlfriend found oddly hot.

(Y/N) saw his temporary recovery as the perfect chance to manipulate him into watching Teen Wolf with her every evening. After all, the title worked in her favor.

They were nestled on the couch, wrapped together in a soft gray blanket. It was their first time lounging in the living room of the apartment Cregan shared with her brother, rather than hiding behind the securely locked door of his bedroom. 

It would be perfect, really. If it weren’t for Jace’s constant, deliberate trips to the kitchen and bathroom, each one an obvious reminder that he was keeping an eye on them.

“Dear Jacaerys,” (Y/N) said, her patience wearing thin, “you do know we don’t need a chaperone, right?”

Jace barely paused, shooting her a sidelong glance before muttering, “You need someone to knock the stupid ideas out of your heads,” as he slammed the bathroom door.

Cregan chuckled softly, pulling her closer. “Give him some time,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple. “To be honest, I thought it would be worse. He’ll come around eventually.”

They’d already gone through several long, tension-filled conversations, with Baela stepping in as the voice of reason when things got too heated. They were careful now, avoiding anything that might provoke Jace further.

But Cregan was right—Jace was slowly coming around, even if he was still stubborn. The days of silent treatment had finally passed.

“This is on us for hiding things from him,” (Y/N) sighed, watching her brother embark on yet another purposeful long journey to the kitchen. “No more secrets now.”

“Your brother’s just looking out for you,” Cregan called out, raising his voice slightly so Jace could hear. “He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you, and I respect that. I don’t know anyone else who cares like he does.”

Jace stopped, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, eyes narrowed. His lips curved into a sweet, mischievous grin.

“Yeah,” he began, drawing out the word. “So tell me sister, when are you introducing him to Mom?”

[rabbidbunwy]

🔞 Gojo x reader| Minors DNI| NSFW WARNING 🔞

Needy little things

Sum. You can't get enough of your best friend dick Warnings. fem! reader x best friend roomate! Gojo,hookup, unprotected, riding f!,f! receiving,cussing,praise,petnames,cummin outside then inside,teasing,begging,both the parties being selfish in their own way,two rounds,filling up

i'm no english native so sorry for some mistakes

please reblog 🔁 and like❤️

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia @ponderingmoonlight @satorkive

He chuckled at your words. “Break you? Don’t be dramatic” he said, his hands roaming over your body. He loved teasing you, making you squirm and whine underneath him.

“You’re taking me perfectly well” he continued, his lips finding your neck. Satoru had his fair few hookups in high school, yet he never felt this way around any of them. It felt special with you. He needed you. Only you.

"Fuck Toru, don't come inside" you phanted "fuck,if someone sees us were doomed" He was too caught up in the moment, to lost in you. Your face was flushed pink, your breathing ragged, and he thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“And who’s gonna catch us? They’re all in a mission" he said. His lips found their way to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses behind. “No one’s going to find out.”

"Outside Gojo outside" you whined at your friend as he groaned. “You’re a tease.” Satoru did as you say, though, his release ending up on your stomach. “There. Happy, princess?” He asked, his breath panting. He’ll never understand why he does all these things with you. You know he’s supposed to be the strongest and yet here he was, listening to you like a good boy.

"More" you whined as you switched position so you were riding Gojo "Need more" you cooed “Greedy little thing, aren’t you?” He teases, his hands moving to your hips to help steady you. “Just can’t get enough of me, hm?” Satoru had a habit of getting snappy when he was riled up. “So whiny” Satoru chuckles. “Stop being so cute or you won’t get what you want.” He leaned up, his lips right by your ear. “You know how to play the game, princess. Beg.”

"Mhn please let me come Satoru" you whined riding him harder "I will let you come inside just-mhn" you whined trying to bargain. He could feel you getting needier, and he loved it. Satoru grunted, his hands gripping your hips tighter as you rode him. “Needy little princess, that’s what you are.” He smirked, his blue eyes staring up at you. “And how badly do you want it?”

"Please please,so bad" you ride him hard gripping him "i'm close" He didn’t think you would be so demanding, not with the way you usually act. Even he was a bit surprised, seeing you like this. Though he knew, he knew that he was the one who reduced you into a whiny mess. “Yeah, you’re close, huh?” He says, his voice low. His hands squeezed at your hips, guiding you as you rode him. “You’re being so selfish.”

“Not even gonna ask if I’m close?” He teased, a smirk still on his face. “Just focused on yourself, princess?” Satoru was also close, though he loved seeing you like this. A sweaty, whiny mess with your only thought being your own climax. He was addicted to how you looked when you were like that. “So pretty when you’re desperate.”

“Yeah, you look good like this. Just so desperate for release.” He grunted, his grip on your hips growing tighter. “It’s so cute how you think only of yourself.” Satoru’s breath was growing more heavy, he could feel himself nearing his own release. “Can’t even ask about me, huh?” He teased, his smirk growing. “How selfish of you, princess.” He chuckled again before a moan escaped his lips. “I’m almost there, too, you know.”

You whined as you snuggled on his chest licking it "please come" you begged “There it is.” He said softly, almost lovingly. Satoru smiled as he looked down at you. “That’s what I wanted to hear, princess.” His hands moved up to your hair to pet it. “You sound so cute when you’re asking nicely.”

You gripped him mewling as you both camed "ah ahn T-toru"

His breath was shaky as he came. “Yeah” he whispered, his hands sliding up to hold you. “That’s it princess, that’s it.”

He knew what he was doing wasn’t right, that fucking his best friend was wrong. Yet he didn’t care. Satoru didn’t care if he was being selfish, as long as he had you in his arms.

“You did so good” he said gently as he pet your hair. “So, so good.” Satoru knew he should be gentle with you afterwards, as he usually was. You always got clingy, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love it.

You felt his cum around your walls "mhn you had a lot" you whined humming Satoru huffed a laugh at your words. “Yeah” he said gently. “Yeah I guess I did.” He always cum a lot, but he felt a bit embarrassed when you pointed it out. Though that thought was quickly replaced with a smirk. “Maybe you bring that out of me.”

"i know you need more Toru,you're still so hard i can feel it" you moved your hips in a circular motion moaning softly. A gasp escaped his lips as you talked, his hands grabbing onto your hips again. “You really are a tease, huh?” He grunted. Satoru was already hard, even after just finishing. He was trying to keep up his smirk, yet his moans were a dead giveaway of just how much that turned him on. “You’re a little minx, you know that?”

“You just love getting me all worked up, don’t you?” He said, his voice a little shaky. “Playing with fire, princess…” He groaned as you moved your hips. “I’m gonna have to spank you if you don’t stop.”

“Or” he continued. “I could just make you behave right now.” His hands moved over your body, stopping to grab at your sensitive spots. “I know how to make you behave when you don’t listen, princess.”

you whined as he rubbed a certain spot "mhnn Toru,dont do this to your best friend" you teased moaning “Don’t do what?” He asked, knowing exactly what he was doing. “Teasing you?” He smirked before rolling the two of you over, so Satoru was on top of you now. “Or are you hinting that we shouldn’t be doing this?”

He placed a hand on your stomach, his blue eyes looking right at you. “You love doing this with me, princess, I’m just giving you what you want…”

“Just like that” he whispered, his breath warm on your neck. “It’s a good thing we don’t have a meeting tomorrow, huh?” He teased as he started to move his hips with more force. They were going to be at this for a while, though he didn’t mind. Satoru rarely had any self control, and he definitely didn’t when it came to you.

“You have anywhere to be in the morning?” He asked, his eyes locking with yours. “I’m gonna be keeping you up for a while, princess…” "mhn n..no..im free tomoroww morning" you moaned softly holding the sheets “Good” he said, his lips finding your neck. He started to lick and bite at it, leaving behind marks. “I can keep you all to myself then.” He was already leaving hickies on you, wanting to make sure everyone knew you were his princess.

You whined as you felt closer again "Toru.." “Yeah, I know” he whispered back, his mouth up by your ear so you could hear him clearly. “I know you’re getting close again, princess.” Satoru’s hands moved back to your hips as he started moving his hips a bit faster.

“I can tell by how you’re holding the sheets.” He teased gently, his smirk still on his face. “You really are so needy, princess. So, so needy.”

“But you’re cute like that” he continued between his own moans. “I love how you need me, so I don’t mind spoiling you a bit.” Satoru knew he shouldn’t be treating you that way, but his selfishness was so strong. He’d do anything to get a whine out of you, anything at all.

“Come on, princess” he said, his voice a bit softer. “You’re close, I know it.” Satoru began to move a bit faster, feeling himself getting closer as well. “I know you’re getting there, princess.”

“Come on, let go” he whispered, his breaths getting a bit ragged. “Let go for me, princess. I know you can do it.” Satoru’s mouth moved to your neck, biting down a bit harder than before. He was starting to get less gentle with you, but he knew that’s how you liked it.

“There it is” he teased gently, noticing the way you were whining more. “So close, huh?” Satoru’s mouth continued to work on your neck, leaving behind more hickies in their wake. “I love it when you’re so desperate, princess.”

“Can’t even talk” he teased, “just a whiny mess, just like I like you.” Satoru was getting a bit rougher with his hands now, his grip on your hips getting tighter. “You just love being helpless for me, don’t you? Yeah, thought so.”

He started moving a bit harder and faster now, his own groans getting a bit louder. “I’m close too” he mumbled into your ear. “Can’t hold back for much longer, being like this with you.”

“Princess, I’m gonna….” He warned, his mouth still on your neck. “Gonna come….” Satoru’s hands squeezed at your hips a bit harder, as if he was trying to hold back the feeling.

“Do you want it inside?” He asked, his voice quieter now. “Or out?” Satoru honestly would have let you choose either way. He didn’t have a preference, he just wanted you to keep making those whiny little sounds.

“Gotta tell me princess” he added with a smirk. “I need to know where I’m putting this.” His hand moved up to your hair, his fingers tangling with it again. “Can’t decide by myself, can I?”

"Mhn inside" you phanted mewling gripping his back “Inside.” He repeated, his voice even quieter than before. A small shiver went through his body as you told him that, his hands squeezing at your waist a bit more. He didn’t move for a moment, just trying to regain his breath before nodding. “Yeah, okay princess.”

“Gonna fill you up, okay?” He said, his lips moving up to your ear. Satoru was already close, so he didn’t move for a moment until he was ready. “Can’t keep anything from you anymore, princess… You have me wrapped around your little finger.”

“You own me, princess” he whispered, his tone a bit shaky. “All for you, all mine, just like you’re all mine…” He started moving again, his mouth moving to your neck. He was starting to get a bit rougher, almost a bit more possessive of you.

Satoru groaned as he released inside you, his body shaking slightly. “Yeah….” He muttered, his mouth still near your neck. “There it is… good princess.” He leaned back, looking down at you with his blue eyes

“Look at you” he said, his own breath still shaky. “All whiny and messy…” Satoru looked down at your body, noticing how much of a wreck he’d made you. “I wonder if it’ll ever be enough for you… you’re always so unsatisfied.”

“You just want more and more…” he teased gently, his hand moving up to your hair. “My greedy princess…” Satoru let out a light chuckle as he continued to pet your hair.

A small smile spread across his face when you snuggled into his chest, an arm wrapping around you to pull you in closer. Satoru let out a small sigh, the hand in your hair still playing with it. “You’re so adorable, princess…” He whispered as he watched you fall asleep.

“You’re always so cute like this…” he muttered, mostly talking to himself at this point. His other hand moved down to your hip, where all the marks he’d left were. He felt the desire to leave more markings there tomorrow, claiming you all over again.

“You’re all mine” he whispered as he looked down at the marks all over your neck, as well as the hickies on your hip. There wasn’t a single part of your body that Satoru hadn’t marked up, claiming you as his every single time.

He sighed again and relaxed, his arms pulling you even closer to him. He loved falling asleep with you in his arms, knowing you were all his. He let his own eyes close, holding you tight as he fell asleep as well.

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai surprising you on your day off ~

Dazai's not by any means an early riser... That is unless he gets to see you that day.

It's 8 AM and he's tapping his fingers against his pant leg lightly, but he's actually really anxious and impatient. He’s waiting for you to open the front door and flash him that life changing smile of yours he’s been coveting for all week. Today’s your day off and he's decided to come over and spend the day with you so he can cherish every single moment, totally not because he’s slacking off work and wants to do the only other thing he does with his life other than avoid his responsibilities: Be the bane of your existence. You also have a nasty little habit of being a workaholic and he's here to break that once and for all. He's completely spaced out now, lips pursed and brows slightly furrowed in thought when suddenly-

You finally open the door. His angel, his everything. He immediately switches his whole demeanor, eyes twinkling as he scans your figure. You’re still in pajamas, and your hair looks messy. You look absolutely delectable for someone who just woke up to 3 missed calls and 10 texts. Dazai smirks as he leans in, wiggling his brows in an exaggerated manner.

"Well look who’s finally awake! What a sleepy little thing you are. Makes me jealous of that stupid bed of yours… Did you get my text? Come here"

He looms over you in the middle of the doorway, kissing you softly, tenderly and hungrily.

You blink, and before you can catch your bearings you’re interrupted by the softness of his eager lips. If your mouth opens, he’s pouncing. After a few moments of uninterrupted bliss, you pull back, eyes still drowsy and breathing a bit shallow. You yawn, running your fingers through your bedhead.

“Sorry. I, um… was still asleep until now. I was trying to sleep in-”

He gasps, and tilts his head, as if baffled by this.

“Now why would you do that when we have plans today?”

“... We don’t, though?”

Dazai laughs, dismissing your rightful confusion. He knows you guys never discussed plans, he just doesn't care. He lightly pinches your nose in between his fingers.

“We do! It’s why I let you sleep in for a few extra hours before coming over.”

You lazily swat at him, crinkling your nose. He’s swooning! Dazai feels a jolt of electricity through his body upon seeing the way you respond to his doting. Making you flustered is his favorite entertainment, besides suicide of course.

“But it’s 8 AM.”

“Exactly! That’s like half the day."

"... How long have you been up for?”

He rolls his eyes affectionately as he buffs his knuckles on his tan coat, replying with a nonchalant hum.

“Hmm, not important— What’s for breakfast?”

He lets himself into your apartment and you sigh into a defeated smile that somehow still holds affection for this ridiculous man. You follow him as he strides to the kitchen and fold your arms across your chest.

“You know, I’m kinda grumpy right now. It’s too early, Osamu. I need my sleep."

“And might I say you look absolutely stunning when you’re grumpy? How ever did I get this lucky…”

“Keep it up and I’ll get even worse, you goofball.”

Dazai smiles, it’s sly and dangerous. A challenge, he hears? He pretends to think for a moment, his finger placed on his lips as if really contemplating something. He’s just picturing what you’d look like yelling at him. Heavenly, of course. He flashes you a tender smile as if you just said the most romantic thing and curls his arm around your waist, whispering.

“Ooh, then I can’t wait to see worse.~”

You roll your eyes, unable to help the pink hue spreading over your face. Maybe you're still half asleep, maybe you’re just hopelessly in love with him. Either way you’re screwed. You whine with a hint of annoyance.

“Osamuuuu…”

Oh how he loves when you say his name like that. Maybe it’s time for you two to skip breakfast, he already does anyway, but he knows you actually need nutrients to function. He replies in a singsong voice.

“Yeeesss?”

“I’m making pancakes and you are going to sit down and wait.”

You point at the kitchen counter trying to be stern, and of course, failing miserably.

He looks back at the stool and then back at you. He leans within inches of your face, his nose poking yours. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly and winks.

“No can do, cutie~”

You two spend the morning making breakfast, or at least trying to. YOU are trying to, anyway. Everytime you go to gather ingredients, he’s already handing them to you. When your back is turned to him, you feel his arms snaking around you as you flip pancakes unevenly due to the distracting trail of kisses he's leaving down your neck. You secretly smile to yourself whenever you’re not feigning irritation, you know he loves the banter… Why not indulge the poor man?

You serve two plates and sit down, along with two mugs of coffee. Dazai isn’t allowed to have caffeine around you, but once again, you took pity on him today for some reason… or is it his mystifying persuasion manipulation at play here? He takes a sip of his mug and a satisfying ‘Ahh’ releases soon after. He flickers his eyes towards you as you're about to sip yours as well, and it’s like the world stops. His pupils dilate and he watches intently as the rim reaches your lips, resting his chin on his palm as he leans lazily over the counter. He’s like a dog watching its owner adoringly. During his trance-like state, he thinks about how if you lived together this would be his every day routine. He could get used to watching you drink coffee and eat food. You'd wake up next to each other and hold hands as you watch the sun rise. He would tell you how breathtaking you look with bedhead and make you late for work after failing to keep his hands to himself. Maybe then you wouldn't think he's such an impenetrable wall of secrets. He wonders if there's a future where all of that happens... He snaps out of it, and murmurs.

“Can I have a taste?”

You perk up and look over, tilting your head to the side, amused.

“What, the coffee? You have your own.”

He’s so focused now, staring at your full lips, thinking of a proper answer. He wants to tell you that he's never had intimate moments like these with anyone else and he doesn’t know how long it’ll last before his luck with you runs out, that he’s afraid you’ll see right through his one dimensional facade and leave him for good. That you won’t follow him to his untimely demise should he ever fall, so he has to capture every second of it so he can keep you in his mind forever. He has to lock you up in his heart and throw away the key, otherwise becoming a man of virtue loses all its meaning.

Instead, he opts for the less complicated route, the corners of his lips curling up into a coy smile as he places a gentle hand on your thigh.

“No, your lips, dummy. I want to taste the coffee off of your lips.”

There are no words for the audacity of Osamu Dazai. And the feelings thrashing inside you when he says things like that. You smile bashfully and look away, unable to accept his shameless flirting.

“You’re so weird, Osamu…”

“Mm, I'm so yours. No takesies backsies.~"

You slowly meet his gaze, his watchful eyes that ooze devotion practically holding yours hostage… God, you are so beautiful to him. Before you can even register it, Dazai scoops you up bridal style and carries you to the living room, laying you down on the soft couch. His eyes darken as he looks down at you, his fingers tracing the outline of your lips. As soon as you show him the look of love that gives him the consent he’s looking for, he doesn’t think twice about it. He grabs your chin and pulls you into a messy kiss. He kisses you rough, his tongue almost immediately sliding into your mouth as he moans into you. His moans turn into whimpers, like he's been starved of touch for far too long and you're satiating the hunger. He needs to taste the coffee you just drank, and he wants you to know exactly how much he's been aching for this moment. For your much needed day off. For you.

He keeps his hand at your chin, pressing you down deeper into the couch with his hips grinding against yours as he tastes the acidity of the coffee as well as the honey you sweetened it with.

Finally, when you literally cannot breathe, you pull away with your dazed and blissed out expression, all red in the face just like he loves. You mumble in between pants.

“Wait— So... What exactly was the plan for today?”

He looks up from running his tongue along your jawline and flashes you that infamously deceptive smile he perpetually keeps on his face, tapping his index finger on your cheek. His voice comes out in a low whisper.

“Breakfast.”

“.. But we already had breakfast.”

He sighs deeply and his finger ghosts its way from your cheek down to the waistband of your pajama bottoms as he mumbles in your ear. You can feel the goosebumps take over as his voice takes on a tone full of longing.

“Still hungry.. I’m a growing boy, you know.~”

You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head.

"You're going to tire me, Osamu.. Work wears me out enough as is-"

He wiggles a finger at you, face full of sickening desire as he carefully lowers his head down by your stomach, resting his cheek on your soft flesh. His voice comes out a soft and pleading murmur.

"Listen to me, please. No more work talk... No more stressing out your pretty self, okay? I haaaaate demanding jobs. It only takes you away from me."

You look down at him and simply nod, your eyes trained on him in anticipation as a smile slowly creeps up onto your lips. You don't need words for what comes next.

For the rest of the day, he makes sure you have the best time off, it's the least he can do as your incredibly attentive and not selfish at all boyfriend! A day where you can shut out all thoughts of work... along with literally anything else that doesn't relate to him.

Unfortunately for you, there is no resting involved on said day. Fortunately for Dazai, you look so cute as you writhe under him for hours on end. That'll get it through your pretty little skull not to work so much.

[dovesdreaming]

Deadpools guide to keeping you alive

Summary: You have a habit of reminding everyone to take care of themselves, even though you often forget to do it for yourself. Wade, being Wade, notices, and in his own ridiculous yet sweet way, steps in to help you remember the little things.

Request

Masterlist

-

You sat on the couch, curled up with your phone, scrolling aimlessly through social media while Wade, in full Deadpool attire, was standing on the coffee table, striking ridiculous superhero poses for no apparent reason. He’d started doing it about ten minutes ago, just because he could. One hand on his hip, the other flexed, he looked like a cross between a professional wrestler and an action figure from the 90s. "Looking good, Wade” you said absently, not even glancing up from your screen. "Have you had any water today?". “Hydration is for the weak!" he declared, though he immediately reached for the water bottle you’d left on the coffee table and took a big gulp, mask and all. You weren’t entirely sure how it worked, but you’d stopped asking those kinds of questions a long time ago. You smiled at his antics and shifted, feeling a little light-headed, but brushed it off. It happened sometimes. Not a big deal. Wade, however, noticed the slight wobble in your movement. He paused mid-pose, tilting his head toward you. "Hey, babe, you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out faster than I can regenerate a new spleen”.

You waved him off, though your stomach growled quietly. "Yeah, I’m fine. Just haven’t eaten yet, I guess. No big deal”. Wade’s eyes widened beneath his mask, and he jumped off the coffee table with a surprisingly graceful landing. "Uh, what? You guess? You haven’t eaten yet?" He checked the clock on the wall. "It’s 4 PM. That's not 'yet,' that’s 'barely survived on air alone!”. You frowned, genuinely surprised by the time. You’d gotten up early that morning, thrown yourself into work, and totally lost track of everything else. Again. “Oh…” You blinked. “Right. Oops?”.

Wade crossed his arms and gave you a look you knew well, the ‘I’m about to be ridiculous but also right’ look. “Let me get this straight: you’ve reminded me, multiple times, to drink water today-thank you for that, by the way-but you forgot to eat?” You shrugged, trying to play it off, though the light-headedness was starting to catch up to you. “I get distracted, okay? I’ve got a lot going on in my head sometimes”. Wade didn’t argue with that. Instead, he sighed and sat down next to you, pulling you into his side. “Alright, here's the deal. You’re gonna sit right here, not move a muscle- except to blink, breathe, and keep that heart pumping I guess, and I’m gonna make you some food”.

You started to protest. “Wade, you don’t have to-“ But he was already up, bounding toward the kitchen with surprising energy for a guy who’d been play posing on a coffee table moments before. “I do have to! Because apparently, you’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached, and I can’t have that, babe. You’d look weird without it”. You chuckled as you watched him dig through the fridge, though there was a part of you that felt a little guilty. This wasn’t the first time you’d forgotten something important. Wade had found you passed out on the couch before because you’d stayed up working for nearly two days straight. And then there was the time you forgot to drink for an entire day while binge watching a new show. Wade had quickly gotten you a glass of whatever was closest whilst gently scolding you.

Still, despite your forgetfulness, you always made sure to look out for your friends. You’d tell Wade, and anyone else, to “drink more water!” or “take breaks!” but when it came to yourself, you… just forgot. It wasn’t on purpose. It was like your brain got too full, and the little things just slipped through the cracks. You were pulled out of your thoughts by the clatter of pots and pans in the kitchen. Wade was muttering to himself, something about "smoking chimichangas" and “how do normal people make sandwiches without a sword?” But a few minutes later, he returned with a plate in hand, two sandwiches that looked like they’d survived a battle, but were clearly made with love. “Behold!” Wade declared, placing the plate on your lap with a flourish. “A culinary masterpiece. You won’t find this in any Michelin-star restaurant, because they can’t handle the truth”.

You couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks, Wade. You didn’t have to, really”. “Of course I did” he said, sitting back down beside you, much more gently this time. “Somebody’s gotta make sure you remember to do basic human things, like eating and sleeping and not turning into a raisin from dehydration”. You took a bite of the sandwich, feeling instantly better. “It’s good” you said through a mouthful of food. “Of course it is. I’m Deadpool. I don’t make bad sandwiches” he replied, leaning in to nudge you with his elbow. “But seriously, you gotta start taking care of yourself. I mean, I can regenerate my liver if it gives out, but you? You get one shot at this whole ‘being alive’ thing”.

You swallowed and nodded, feeling a little sheepish. “I know, I just… I get so caught up in things, I forget”. Wade looked at you, and even through the mask, you could feel the softness in his gaze. He reached over, pulling you into a side hug. “You know what, babe? That’s what I’m here for. To remind you to do all that boring, vital stuff. You remind me to drink water, I remind you to, you know, live. We balance each other out”.

You rested your head on his shoulder, sandwich still in hand. “Yeah, I guess we do”. “And from now on” Wade said, his voice full of determination, “I’m going to make sure you never forget again. I’ll be your personal reminder system. Forget to eat? I’ll hand-feed you if I have to. Forget to sleep? I’ll tuck you in with my very own beddy-bye song. And forget to shower? Well, I’ll.. okay, I’ll just throw you in the shower with a loofah grenade”.

You laughed, the sound muffled by another bite of your sandwich. “I don’t know if I should be scared or touched by that”. “Touched” Wade said, pulling you closer. “Definitely touched. In the heart, not the weird way. Unless you want it to be the weird way. I’m flexible”. You smiled, warmth filling your chest. “Thanks, Wade”. “Don’t mention it, babe” he said softly. Then he looked down at you, his voice dropping to a playful whisper. “Now, finish that sandwich and then we’re going to bed. Not for the fun stuff, mind you, unless you’re into that, but because you need to sleep. Doctor Deadpool’s orders”. You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t deny the yawn that followed. “Fine, but only because Doctor Deadpool said so”. “That’s the spirit!” Wade cheered, and with a surprisingly gentle tug, he pulled you up off the couch and toward the bedroom, all while mumbling something about setting hydration alarms and taping snack bars to the walls as reminders.

And as you curled up in bed that night, Wade snuggled up next to you, you couldn’t help but feel grateful. Because even when you forgot to take care of yourself, Wade was always there to remind you, whether it was about drinking water, getting enough sleep, or just eating a simple sandwich.

And really, that was all you needed.

-

Thank you for reading!!

[buckysgrace]

2. Eyes Without a Face

Billy Hargrove x Fem!OC/Tommy Hagan x Fem!OC

Now That We Don't Talk

Three Years Later

Tommy

He viewed Kim differently now. 

He still loved her in the same manner, perhaps even more in his opinion. Being married and having a child together had really changed his point of view. He wasn’t ever sure if he’d really be happy getting married. His eyes had a bad habit of wandering, of thinking that there could be more out there for him. 

Kim hadn’t given him an option to think about anyone else after their honeymoon. She had gotten pregnant right away, surprising him completely. They had always been safe. He didn’t see how it was possible, but he had been happy nonetheless. A baby was special. 

Sex was new between them, on the rare occasion that they had it. He used to be rough; enjoyed pulling her hair and smacking her skin. He no longer liked to do that. He supposed it was fairly plain, vanilla for sure. He just didn’t feel right being so brutal with the mother of his child. 

Nora was anything but a handful. With rosy cheeks, golden red hair and big blue eyes; a looker, just like her mother. She acted like Kim too. Always getting into things, eyes full of curiosity and a nose that was able to sniff out sweets for miles. Other than that, she didn’t do anything too chaotic. A little angel. 

He had made a deal with Kim, well, rather he had pleaded with her to take his suggestion. He worked and she stayed at home with Nora. It was easier that way. Kim was motherly, had no issue changing diapers and wiping runny noses. Tommy didn’t like any of it. Not the messy part. He could play with Nora for hours but once she got fussy or overheated, she went straight back to Kim. 

“Hi,” Kim waved from the kitchen, her hair pulled back into a ponytail as she held Nora against her left side. She stirred something in her right hand, nodding her head as Nora babbled off while she finished off a creamsicle, “How was work?”

“Good,” He replied, quickly kissing the side of her cheek and narrowly avoiding Nora’s sticky hands, “Uh, we’re going to have one more over for dinner.” He added, smiling as he tapped the top of Nora’s head.

“Oh?” She asked as she looked up, hazel eyes inquisitive as Nora mirrored her expression. Tommy still thought it was funny that Nora had ended up with blue eyes, instead of brown like theirs, “Who is it? It’s not Jason, is it? That guy is a creep.” She reminded him of her disdain, making him sigh deeply. 

“He’s not a creep,” Tommy defended him quickly, knowing he just got a bad reputation, “But no. It’s not Jason. It’s uh, someone you like.” He replied, hoping that was still the case. Kim stopped for a second, analyzing him for a long time. 

“Is there a reason you’re being secretive about it?” She questioned him sourly, nose scrunching up like she was scared about what his answer would be. He honestly wasn’t too sure about how she’d react. Neither of them had seen Billy in so long. 

“It’s your brother,” He introduced slowly as he pulled a smile on his face, “Yay! Uncle Billy is coming to town!” He cheered, clapping his hands as Nora began to bounce and giggle in Kim’s arms. Kim, on the other hand, looked less than pleased.

“What do you mean he’s coming to town?” She bore a pained expression as she pushed her pan of food off of the burner, quickly shutting the heat off before she placed Nora on the ground. The toddle whined, gripping a hold of her jeans with sticky fingers. 

“Well,” Tommy paused, “I guess he lost his job, had a little relapse incident, and then his girlfriend kicked him out. Ex girlfriend I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck, deciding that he was going to keep a few more details out. He had a feeling she’d say no if she knew the full story.

But she already looked like she didn’t like his answer. She played with her hair, a little telltale sign that she was nervous. But he also knew that it likely meant that she’d give in anyways. She still didn’t like to say no, even if it made her uncomfortable. 

He knew that there was some well deserved hesitancy there. The last time either of them had seen Billy had been at the wedding. He had skipped the exchanging of the vows, but then showed up to the reception more drunk than Tommy had ever seen him. He had made a fool of himself. 

“You couldn’t ask me first?” She asked, dampening a paper towel before she began to scrub Nora’s face and hands clean. He watched, glad that he had stayed out of the toddler’s sticky path. 

“Oh come on, he’s your brother,” He said quickly, “And he’s all alone in Los Angeles. No wonder he has all the drug issues.” He gestured about with his hands, a little jealous that Billy had such wild stories to share. Tommy felt like he hadn’t really gotten to experience anything with getting married so young. And having a baby straight away. 

“He hates it here.” She mumbled, keeping her eyes focused on Nora as she continued to try and talk at the same time Tommy was. 

“That could change,” He shrugged his shoulders, “What happened between you two anyways?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to recall the last time they’d spoken. In fairness, he hadn’t spoken to Billy in years either. But he and Kim had been raised together. 

“What?” She snapped her head towards him, eyes wide with worry. He shrugged his shoulders, not sure why she seemed so on edge. 

“I mean you guys don’t talk anymore,” He said slowly, “Surely something had to happen.” He pried a little deeper, wondering if there was something she was keeping from him. Surely not. 

“We just never got along, different interests,” She brushed his inquiries away as she began to make Nora’s plate with one hand, “And he’s not my brother.” She replied stiffly, smiling as Nora patted her shoulder in confusion. 

“No Uncle Biwwy?” Nora asked, eyes filled with sadness as she rested her wet cheek against Kim’s chest. Tommy winced, wondering how Kim could stand the mess. 

“Yeah,” He added as he rested his chin on his fingers and pouted his lips out, “No Uncle Biwwy? Because I promised him the spare room until he got on his feet. He should be here anytime. I uh, need to figure something out if he can’t stay here.” He replied awkwardly, balancing on the tips of his toes in hopes of changing her mind. 

“I didn’t say he couldn’t,” She sighed as she shifted Nora once again, pausing as she brought a damp towel up and began to wipe her face clean, “I wish you would’ve just asked. You never ask.” She reminded him, making him wish he could roll his eyes. He didn’t like how that was always the argument. He asked when he needed to. For important things. Most of the time. 

“I’m asking now.” He replied as he stood up a little straighter, feeling like he didn’t have to ask to have someone stay in his own home. The one that he had bought and was still paying for. 

“You’re telling me,” She clarified with a soft smile, “I’m not his maid though. He’s going to have to pick up after himself.” She nodded her head along, looking like she was determined to keep some ground rules for herself. 

“Cool,” Tommy replied as he nodded along, “Uh is it done, hun? Because I’m starving.” He glanced into the pot, desperately wanting something to eat. 

“Go ahead,” She responded as she walked away, holding Nora in one hand and her food in the other. He did as she requested, filling his plate full as she ensured that Nora’s tray wasn’t too hot. She always sat with Nora as she ate first, then made her own plate after, “I need to get the guest room ready, can you watch her?”

“Yeah, she’s my daughter.” He snorted, sometimes irritated with the way she thought he couldn’t handle things. He was perfectly capable of watching her eat.

“Tommy,” She said in exasperation, “I just need you to make sure she doesn’t choke on anything.” She replied, pushing her hair out of her face as Nora placed her spoon into her mouth.

“She’s going to be four, she should know what she’s doing. Right, Nora?” He tilted his head, smiling down at the little redhead.

“Wight.” She giggled as she nodded her head, smiling brightly up towards Kim. She sighed in agreement but didn’t look so reassured.

“I was just teasing,” He said as he noticed Kim staying near Nora, “I’ll watch her. Go clean up the room.” He felt a little bad, knowing that they didn’t always understand each other anymore. He didn’t think either of them were getting what they really wanted; but he supposed that was just marriage.

“It can wait,” She said, smiling and pretending to take a bite as Nora offered her a handful, “She’ll need a bath anyways.” 

He took his own shower while Kim used the other bathroom to bathe Nora, then prepare the guest room. Even though Tommy thought it was clean enough, she had her list already planned out. But it was the room where he had been storing most of his spare things.

“Can you watch her?” Kim asked as she peeked down into the living room, Nora hot on her trail. She clung to her everywhere she went.

“Uh, why?” He asked as he glanced towards the ball game, his beer already opened and ready for him. He wasn’t the least bit ashamed to admit that the quick view of the cheerleaders had done something to him.

“Because I still need to shower,” She responded in exasperation, “And she likes to try and play with the power outlets now.” She touched the top of Nora’s head gently, making her giggle.

“Sounds like a lesson to be learned, huh?” He mumbled underneath his breath, sure that his father would’ve let him mess around and find out.

“Five minutes,” Kim begged, “Please.” She begged softly, making him sigh and nod in defeat. He didn’t think their toddler was that helpless. She could be alone without burning the house down or harming herself. Especially for five quick minutes.

“You don’t need me to watch you, do you?” He asked her, whispering so Kim couldn’t hear from the bathroom.

“Uh uh.” She shook her head, red curls flying as she bounced back and forth between rocking two different baby dolls in her arms.

“You won’t tell mommy?” He asked her quickly, holding his palms together in a quick plea. She worked on bundling her babies up in a blanket before she answered.

“Suwe!” She giggled, giving her baby doll a little kiss before he was scurrying away. He wouldn’t be that long anyways. He’d been worked up for the past week.

He retreated to his room, shutting the door gently. He knew that he’d be able to hear the water shut off and hear if Nora got into anything from this distance.

He had just managed to shrug his pants off, his briefs around his thighs and his fingers wrapped around his cock when the doorbell sounded. Again. And again. It continually rang until he felt like his mind might explode.

“Can you get that?” He shouted out the door, keeping it closed so no one could see what he was trying to get up to.

“What?” Kim shouted, her voice muffled from the bathroom door.

“The door!” He shouted, “Can you get it?” He shut his eyes tightly, quietly begging for her to rush out and get it. 

“I’m in the shower!” She protested back, making him sigh deeply. He resisted the urge to slam his head against the door, irritated with the timing.

“Shit,” He huffed, tucking himself back inside and adjusting his pants. He gave his hands a quick wash before he was rushing down the stairs, “I hear you!”

The ringing continued as he rushed down the stairs, his eyes widening as he removed the toddler away from the back of the TV stand. That’s all he needed.

“It woud.” Nora commented with her hands over her ears as he placed her back on the couch. Nosey little thing.

“Get used to it,” He chuckled as he kissed the top of her head, “That’s your uncle Billy.” Her eyes widened in fear as she glanced around, her little legs moving quickly up the stairs as she retreated. She was apparently too shy to introduce herself. 

“Jesus Christ,” Billy grinned from ear to ear, “Took you long enough.” He stated, looking a little bored as his eyes fell towards Tommy. He looked a little skinnier, his hair shorter and bags underneath his eyes deep. But he was still Billy. 

“That was very annoying,” He scoffed as he popped the door open, “C’mon in.” He gestured inside at the almost annoyingly clean living room. It must’ve meant that his mother stopped by, that was the only time that it was truly spotless. 

“Holy fuck,” Billy spit out, “You did get a nice place.” He held his duffel bag over his shoulders as he peered around, stopping to briefly glance at the framed photos before he turned away again. 

“Yeah,” He chuckled, “You better put that out. Kim doesn’t want anyone smoking around Nora.” He pointed out, looking at the cigarette that was placed behind his ear. It was half smoked, like he’d been savoring it. 

“And you have a kid,” He laughed, like it was hilarious, “Who would’ve thought?” He shook his head, speaking the truth out loud. Tommy was still surprised each morning. 

“Not me,” He muttered in admittance as he gestured towards the living room, “Welcome in.” He clapped his hands together, unsure of what else to say as he watched Billy slowly glide around. 

He looked around intensely, like he was inspecting each little detail. Tommy could feel himself bouncing in excitement, wanting to know all about how LA was. How the partying was, the girls. Everything. 

“Billy,” Kim replied softly, her face flushed as she tugged on her damp hair as she took slow steps down from the stairs. She looked anywhere but him, following the same nervous tick she did anytime she met someone new, “Good to see you again.”

Tommy’s relationship with his own siblings wasn’t the best, but he didn’t know how he could ever just stop talking to them. Even if Billy and Kim both claimed they weren’t siblings, they were raised together. He just didn’t get it.

“Kim,” Billy nodded at her; features stoic as he looked around, “You guys have a nice place.” He said again, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned away. Apparently he didn’t know how to talk to her either. Or he was expecting a lecture.

“You were supposed to see it a long time ago.” Tommy pointed out, shoving at him playfully. Billy nodded along, shrugging his shoulders softly. 

“I was busy,” He replied with a smirk. Tommy did his best not to sigh, knowing that Billy had done things that he could only dream about. He supposed that was the issue with getting married young and having children at such an age too, “This must be Nova?”

“Nora,” Tommy corrected, smiling at the way she curled up into Kim’s side. She had the same shy nature about her, “This is Uncle Billy, remember?” He squatted down, hoping that she might become more comfortable. 

“Hi.” She said shyly, face half hidden as Billy joined Tommy on the floor. He looked kinder and Tommy suddenly remembered that he had spent a summer or two teaching kids her age how to swim. 

“Do you like dolls?” He asked, tilting his head as a gentle smile pulled onto his lips, “I have one for you. Your dad said you liked Barbies.” He dropped his bag slowly, looking proud at the way Nora perked up. 

“Oh, yeah,” She said with a giggle, suddenly more interested, “I like dem.” She nodded her head happily, squeezing at Kim’s leg for reassurance. 

“Do you want to go get it?” Kim asked her, kissing the top of her head, “We already ate, but I can warm the leftovers up if you want.” She added awkwardly, furrowing her eyebrows together before she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Uh, sure,” Billy replied with a shrug of his shoulders as he dug through his duffel bag, “Here you go, kid.” He plopped it into Nora’s hands, earning a loud squeal from her as she examined it. 

“Oh cool times Barbie,” Tommy responded, trying to keep a calm expression, “How neat.” He chuckled, wondering how many Barbie’s she’d have before it was too much. 

“What do you say?” Kim asked gently, her lips curled into a soft smile as Nora pulled a bright grin onto her lips. She teetered back and forth before she answered. 

“Tank you,” She grinned in excitement, “Mama, open?” She held it up over her head, looking conflicted as she pulled at the plastic. Tommy stood first, wandering if this would be an appropriate moment to pull out a few beers. 

“Yeah, come to the kitchen with me.” Kim told her, holding a hand out as Nora waddled quickly to keep up. It was a pretty cute sight. Their nightgowns even seemed to match. 

“How are you feeling?” Tommy asked seriously, collapsing on the recliner as Billy followed suit. He stretched his legs out, suddenly looking exhausted. 

“Like shit,” Billy grumbled, “I hate this fucking town.” He replied bitterly, almost angrily as he linked his fingers over his abdomen. Tommy exhaled deeply. Sure he wanted to travel, but Hawkins wasn’t that bad. All of his friends and family were here. 

“Better than living in your car.” He said seriously, sure that it had to be an uncomfortable few weeks. Things must’ve been really bad for him to come crawling back. 

“Barely,” He sighed as he stretched his legs out once again, “So what do you do? I never saw you as a family guy.” Billy cocked an eyebrow curiously, leaving Tommy shrugging. He had been too young to have known what he really wanted. He still felt that way in all honesty. 

“I guess it was just a bullshit gift from fate. Right after the wedding.” He laughed as he thought about how nervous and scared Kim had been. He wasn’t much help through the pregnancy either. It had all freaked him out. He understood how people got cold feet. 

“You’re not happy?” Billy looked for clarity, his eyebrows furrowing together like he was sure he was hearing Tommy wrong. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” He said quickly, trying to defend himself, “It’s just mundane sometimes. That’s all.” He shrugged his shoulders, not sure if he should mention that the love between him and Kim was clearly gone. Their passion had long since fizzled out. 

“Lucky.”

“Here,” Kim said slowly as she sat the bowl down on the table for Billy to reach. She sat down near the corner of the couch, smiling as Nora crawled onto her lap. She got comfortable as she held her Barbie to her chest, beginning to brush her hair out slowly, “I hope the drive wasn’t too bad?”

“Nothing terrible,” Billy replied as he glanced towards her, “I guess it is kind of nice to be back, sort of like home.” He mused softly before he turned away, eyes glancing towards him.

“Bullshit.” He laughed, nearly cackling at his terrible lie. There was no way Billy thought of this shitty town as home. He hated it here. 

“There really is nothing good about this place.” Billy replied after a brief pause, grinning as he bounced his knee up and down. Tommy shook his head, still marveled at how Billy could say such a thing.

“Come on,” Kim whispered as she adjusted Nora on her lap, “Say goodnight. Let’s go get ready for bed.” She picked her up quickly, ignoring the little protest Nora let out before she waved her fingers at them.

“Night night!” She squealed, giggling as Tommy leaned up and kissed her warm cheek. At least she wasn’t sticky.

Kim carried her off, promising of a new story tonight as Tommy settled back into his chair. It was the same routine. The same everything. He was bored.

“You’re lucky.” Billy said suddenly, taking him by surprise. He supposed in a way he was, but this hadn’t been the life he had wanted. He felt like he was stuck in a box most days.

“You are,” Tommy corrected, “You got to live and we’re just stuck in whatever this is.” He gestured about, keeping his voice lowered so Kim couldn’t hear. He didn’t want to deal with her crying about it next. Their fights were always like that.

“Hm,” Billy hummed softly, “You sound happy. Does she know you’re this joyful?” He mocked, fingers twitching repeatedly against his abdomen. He was clearly still coming off of something, noticeable by the way he kept locking his jaw and darting his eyes around.

“She doesn’t say anything.” He shrugged his shoulders, speaking the truth. Even when they fought she usually went quiet. She was just a shell sometimes, like she’d dug herself into her own hole that only she could be a part of.

“Marriage,” Billy scoffed, “What a wondrous thing.” 

[missholloween]

31. A kiss goodbye with Samuel/Margaret

It was early morning. The sun had barely woken up, lazily warming the night’s blues with its yellows and oranges. Samuel Stratford was looking at the sky, lost in thought.

Sunrise had always been one of Samuel’s favorite parts of the day: for a brief fraction of time, the waking world met the dreaming, not quite awake yet. It was a moment of peace, away from the noise of the press or the racket of the streets, way before the world started turning.

During his youth, Samuel used sunrise as a moment to think when something was on his mind. As he grew older, he had to let go of the habit, as his work at the paper stand and later The Sun would steal most of his time.

That morning, though, he found himself with a notebook in his hands and his eyes locked on the sun, which shone brighter than it ever had. Was that part of Lincoln Island’s magic too, those golden lights? Was it another one of the Blazing World’s gifts, far away from his grip? Was it just another wonder for him to witness?

Samuel had been a storyteller for many years, and had learned how to look way before that. Why now was he unable to do it without feeling self-conscious? Why now was he feeling useless? Everyone on the island seemed to be working towards something, a brushstroke in a bigger picture Samuel was just beginning to see. Was there a place for his paintbrush? Or would he just fade beneath the colors of others?

“Some things never change, don’t they? You’re always with your notebook.”

Margaret was leaning at the room’s door, looking at Samuel.

Ever since they had arrived, Margaret hadn’t stayed still. Samuel had never seen Margaret happier, always talking with someone, doing something that would get her closer to her lost memories. Samuel wasn’t quite sure of what she had done, but, by the look on her face and the dirt on her dress, it didn’t seem easy.

“Good morning, Margaret– Or good night? I don’t think I saw you go to bed last night.”

“I was with Sia and my brother out in the fields–”

“Your brother?” Samuel asked, leaving his notebook on the side.

Margaret couldn’t hold her smile. She also couldn’t fight the tears. “Dakkar.” She felt how the name felt right in her mouth, how much she had missed it. “I remembered, Samuel, in the fields!”

Margaret’s glee was contagious. Samuel quickly up and embraced her, holding her close to his chest. He felt Margaret’s grip, as strong as his. He felt her breath on his chest, as well as the tears that ran through her face.

“I’m so happy for you, Margaret.” Samuel noticed his voice was breaking too, although he didn’t know why.

After some seconds the couple separated, sitting near the window at Granite House.

“Tell me everything!” Samuel said, full of enthusiasm. “How was it? Have you remembered everything yet?– Oh! Are there any new magic ways you’ve discovered?” Samuel noticed how his words were getting faster and faster. “… Or maybe tell me how you’re feeling?”

Margaret laughed softly, gently caressing Samuel’s hand. “I feel… I feel like myself. Every time I use my magic, every time I remember something new, I am closer to the person I used to be… And it feels right.”

Samuel couldn’t help but smile. “I’m glad to hear it. There’s so much more for you to discover...”

“There’s so much more for us to discover.” Margaret got closer to Samuel, taking his hands. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you, Samuel.”

“I bet you could’ve found another writer elsewhere–”

“But they wouldn’t be as intelligent, or hardworking, or resilient, or lovely as you are.” Samuel laughed, as Margaret continued talking. “No matter what will happen, I know you’ll be there.”

“It’s the least I can do.”

“It’s so much more than most do.”

Margaret got closer to Samuel and leaned in for a kiss. It was gentle, gentle as he had always been to her. Samuel got closer to Margaret, reducing the distance between both of them. For a moment, nothing would separate them. It felt right. They didn’t let go until Samuel ran out of breath.

“I’ll be going to get some sleep,” said Margaret. “See you in the morning?”

Samuel laughed. “Is that what we’re calling the afternoon now?”

“I guess it is now.” Margaret leaned in and kissed Samuel’s forehead. “Goodbye, Samuel.”

[momentsbeforemass]

The “ests”

We live in a society that exalts the “ests.”

The biggest, the fastest, the tallest, the richest. Whatever the benchmark is, we want nothing but the best.

It’s a fixation that causes a lot of problems for us.

Not because there’s anything wrong with being able to spot the best. Knowing the difference between a ripe apple (the best) and one that’s gone bad is kind of important.

The problem comes when our fixation with “ests” crosses categories. When we decide that apples are better than oranges.

Comparing apples to oranges is so obviously faulty that it’s a cliché. In at least 20 different languages.

Yet, you and I do it all the time. Not with apples and oranges. But we do it to ourselves and to others – when it comes to roles and worth.

We value the CEO over the janitor, the doctor over the nurse. You and I decide which person is best, based on the importance we attach to what they do. Confusing their role for their worth as a person.

It sounds awful when you say it that way. But it’s so engrained in us that we do it anyway. Usually without thinking.

When we do it to others, it’s corrosive. We see people as things – and we make them into idols to worship or into non-persons we can abuse or ignore.

When we do it to ourselves, it’s corrosive as well. It puts us on a never-ending treadmill of not good enough. Because no matter who we are or what we’re doing, there’s always more. There’s always better. There’s always an “est” that’s just out of reach.

No matter who you and I do it to, it’s a toxic way to live.

And it couldn’t be farther from the truth, from how God sees things.

Think about it for a minute, you and I know from experience that a person’s role and person’s worth have no connection at all.

One of the wealthiest persons I have ever known (CEO, director on several corporate boards, etc.) is also one of the worst human beings I have ever met.

One of the kindest persons I have ever known lived in a cinder block house with a dirt floor (in Alexander County, Illinois).

In today’s first reading, St. Paul spells it out. There’s a list of roles that reads like the organizational chart for a church: “first, Apostles; second, prophets; third, …” making it easy to fall into our habit of comparing the wrong things.

But the context that he gives for that list? That draws us right back to the truth, back to the way that God sees things.

“As the body is one though it has many parts, an all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also in Christ.”

Translation – God’s love isn’t just for the “ests.”

Whether you’re looking at someone else or yourself, never confuse role with worth. God doesn’t.

Today’s Readings

[tacosaysroar]

Soooo my dishwasher caught fire today.

Yep.

I started a load, sat down in the living room to work, and a little while later there was a burning plastic smell in the air. I ran into the kitchen to find whitish gray smoke billowing out of the top of the door.

Bad News: the dishwasher is toast and must now be replaced.

Good news: it was old and not-so-great anyway and it’s Labor Day weekend, a rather lucky time to need a new appliance.

I spent more money than I would’ve liked but around $400 less than I would’ve if I’d needed to do this some other week, so I’m at peace.

And it’ll be nice to have a dishwasher where the top rack isn’t constantly falling out of the track and there aren’t holes in the silverware basket big enough for the silverware to fall through. (The new one has a top rack for silverware. Luxury of luxuries.)

Now I wait to get the call that lets me know when they can schedule my delivery. Might be as much as two weeks.

I have my fingers crossed it’ll be a day when I’m supposed to be in the office, so I can say I have to work from home that day.

Keep those silver linings coming.

[dragoneveryday]

Day 4 - Redraw

(Original from 2019.)

[caffeiiine]

SODA IM GOING TO MAKE MYSELF CRY

So theoretically would you rather be a prop or actor in a play?

The props are used by others sure, but they are vital. You can't have a play without them and they can completely change the tone and mood of a scene.

The actors have a vague sense of freedom. They follow a script but they interpret it and make it their own. They're the heart of the play but live under stress and pressure, crumbling if taken to far.

Though in the end they're only really good when the director knows how to use them.

Thats Siglai. In this essay I will-

ooooo, i’d probably be an actor honestly.

[the fact i can’t tell which one is supposed to be sigma and which is meant to be nikolai bc i see bits of both in each description tells me this is a very good analogy and i agree wholeheartedly]

ANYWAYS, GOING BASED ON MAJOR DESCRIPTORS: im saying sigma is the prop based on his backstory and current uses plot wise. and Nikolai is the actor!!

THIS IS SUCH A WAY TO DESCRIBE THEM BTW

assuming sigma represents the prop: sigmas sky casino literally houses one of the stages for one of their terror plots, the coin bombs!! and not to mention his backstory being trafficked and used for his ability, being deemed a tool before a person. only to escape and end back in the same exact scenario with less visible strings. <3 but at the same time he is literally how the doa got the whereabouts for the page if i remember correctly, and their stuff wouldn’t have worked without him or just would’ve been more difficult to pull off. [if he defects i wonder what’ll become of the doa tbh. assuming fyodor is most likely alive, and they continue their original goals]

aaand assuming the actor represents nikolai: the only reason he feels that vague freedom is because he believes he proved it everything he does is for free will. he needs to prove it and he needs to know it himself. he’s, of course, a sane individual like everybody else; he, of course, feels the guilt that comes with his actions. yk eventually he won’t be able to put it off anymore he hears the cries, and the screams and everything that comes with proof. he endures. and he endures. and he endures. all the meanwhile he’s only creating more more ties back to his own humanity.

What happens when he finally has to face this humanity of his?

We don’t know, perhaps we’ll find out in act II.

[cuteniaarts]

Completely outside of my usual drawing niche, but yesterday I was talking to my sister and she showed me an old drawing I made for her in 2021 that I had deleted and completely forgot about. There was a period of time when my sister was absolutely OBSESSED with Wings of Fire, so I drew a humanisation (I can barely draw humans, man, I would actually combust if asked to draw a dragon) of a pre-canon younger version of one of her favourite characters, Peril, who I also have a soft spot for because, you guessed it, I found a way to link her to my main obsession :’) And when I saw that old piece, I just knew I had to redraw it

+ The original, low quality bc I screenshotted my sister filming her tablet screen over video call, under the cut to save myself some embarrassment 😅

[herbofgraceandpeace]

. 🤭🫠

[coconut530]

FRIED EGG 💙😡❌🫣❤️

[t4tstarvingdog]

absolutely sucks that i’m the problem child but also that. i really fucking wanted to be obedient and not get in trouble the whole time