#YIPPEEE YIPPEEE WHO CHEERED

[sol-dial]

Currently screaming because I was texting a close friend and I mentioned briefly Avengers Assemble (show) after rambling about Hawkeye

AND AHHH MY FRIEND!! HE!! He said he loved Avengers Assemble too!! He said it was a slice of life and YEEES :D

Sobbing and screaming because I need to determine if he likes it like an average fan or is he like me, where this show has a soul crushing grip on my very soul o_o

[sunblazes]

goinng from wildly different media in a day. Watching yellowjackets with my sister to wtaching fnaf timelines

[brights-place]

now I know you're still doing trolls I request trans guy Clay x trans guy reader headcanons maybe? sfw and nsfw if you're comfortable with it obviously :)

[Trolls] Clay X Trans FTM! Reader

Warnings: fluff headcannons

A/N: Haven’t written for these guys in awhile and this is kind of short I apologize for the struggle and sadly I didn’t feel like writing smut today sorry I’m just abit stressed and tired so I hope this is good enough <33 Sorry it's short

Summary: Clay is dating a GLAMOROUS and HANDSOME Trans Guy Troll who deserves the world

- Another Trans request hell yeahhhh!! - Every time you have dysphoria he would console you and try soothe you with kisses and pampering you no matter what - When he see's you staring at yourself in the mirror too long he'd go behind you kiss your hand and kiss your face - Helps inject/take your pills for testosterones happily with a grin to support you - Need a binder? he's paying! You need money for an therapist so you can get diagnosis and get testosterone? ready to go take you! you need new haircut? - You don't even get an choice he already paid, cared for you and drove you anytime everywhere - ADORES your top surgery scars and kisses them if you have bottom surgery he'll be there cheering you on - As your voice get deeper he'd kiss you and compliment it happily - Clay loved seeing how happy you get and also enjoys watching you get excited over having your shoulders look broader with your new shoulder pads. - Helps go shopping with you with outfits and haircuts suggesting things and you both once bought matching shirts so YIPPEEE

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ ©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

[indigo-constellation]

Patho ask time!! 7 9 21 go tell us about the beloved dolls

YAYYY YIPPEEE I cheered irl

7 -Headcanons you forget aren’t canon?

that Daniil isn't canonically trans, jewish, and autistic, he's semi-canonically gay but I forget he's not the others too

9 - Who/what do you think the Rat Prophet is?

one of the actors that had creative differences with Mark and went "fuck it rat time"/j but I do think it's a person, either a child in p2 or... tiny man in a suit with a cigarette holder. He is Clara's brother, and prefers the Plague to the Changeling, but idk more than that, so I just want to know more about him in p4

21 - Favorite niche, obscure character? (ie named characters outside the Healers and Bound)

oh fuck, I can't cheat and say A again... if the Albino counts I'm going Albino, if not then Teensy, my wonderful shmowder provider

again here is the ask meme if anyone wants to ask me things (please)

[thewritertiger]

Well...I really liked the idea of the role change between Mabel and Dipper and well...I wrote about it! Yippeee

Now let me tell you a little more about the idea of what I have in mind:

The roles: gravity rises

🔼Bill: kryptos

⏹️🔷Kryptos and Tad strange: bill

🌲dipper: Mabel

🌠Mabel: Dipper

🖐️Ford: Stan

💲Stan: Ford

🐪 Pacifica: Guidion

⭐ Guidion: pacifica

(I want to expand a little more on shorts contexts of the rewriting of the series with this AU. but it will be too long and I plan to accompany it with some designs)

Bill and dipper:

🔼Bill: after the incident of the 2d dimension, the only one who survived was Tad and bill. Who both went to form a home in the nightmare realm. Tad is very overprotective of Bill and doesn't want him to leave his room. That's why he puts him in charge of watching over the dimensions and multiverse with his big all-seeing eye. Bill is a growing teenager and at the same time, he is very alone. Besides watching over the multiverse, he writes riddles and stories, reads a lot and likes to practice magic.

🌲Dipper: In this universe, Dipper is nicknamed with the pseudonym May-May or May (for mason). He is the complete opposite of his sister. He is more cheerful, positive and has his adorable and captivating charm. He likes crafts and reading fantasy type stories like fairytales, fiction, fanfictions, comics and mangas. Obviously Dipper in this AU has the kidcore vibe. He doesn't have many friends because he is weird and not as masculine as the boys of his age, that's why he feels lonely and would like to have friends. Dipper, like Mabel in the series, tries his best to get his desired youthful summer love that he reads so much about in his stories

Lastly, I made a playlist for the au in case you want to listen to it:

(Pd: yeah yeah bill is into the dark academia style and dipper is in the kiddcore style)

[ticklish-n-stuff]

HIHI I HEARD REQUESTS ARE OPEN YIPPEEE

CAN I REQUEST PLATONIC LER FRANCIS X READER WHERE THE READER IS UP WAY TOO LATE AND BEING CHAOTIC TO THE REST OF THE GUILD AND FRANCIS ENDS UP HAVING TO DEAL WITH EM

-RESIDENT FRANCIS ENJOYER (YOU KNOW WHO I AM KJSBHJKHB)

Ler!Francis x gn!reader

It was a rough day for both of us so here's some ler Francis for the soul~

I didn't proofread btw akdhskfhsj

___________________________________________

Francis x gn!reader (platonic)

Lee: reader

Ler: Francis

Warnings: Tickles!

___________________________________________

It was the ungodly hours of 5 am, everyone else at the guild had gone to sleep except for one particular member...

Francis was currently hot on your tails, having spent who knows how long trying to drag you back to your room, but you were just too full of energy. Even though he was dead tired, he wouldn't be able to sleep knowing one of his kids was still running around causing chaos.

"Y/n, get back here!" he yelled after you in mock anger, while you only stuck your tongue out playfully in response. Oh you were really asking for it, he thought to himself.

Your giggles echoed across the hallways as you kept running around. You were so caught up in the moment, blinded by giddiness, that you ended up bumping into someone, causing you to tumble down to the ground. It was none other than Louisa.

"Eep?! I-I'm so sorry Y/n! Are you okay?!" her face instantly flushed in embarrassment as she held a hand out for you to grab, swiftly pulling you up on your feet.

"Ahaha! Yeah, I'm fine!" you responded with a bright smile, calming down her nerves a bit.

"A-anyways, what are you doing out here so late...?" she tilted her head curiously.

"I couldn't sleep, too much energy!~" you practically vibrated in the spot. "But what about you?! What are YOU doing out here so late?~" you crossed your arms as you waited for a response.

"Me?! I- uhh..." she looked away in embarrassment, but before she could think of an excuse, Franci's loud voice echoed, coming towards you!

"Aha! I've found you, pipsqueak!" he cheered triumphantly, coming up behind you and hoisting you up in his arms with ease.

"Gyah! F-Francis, put me down...!" you kicked your legs out, your face quickly turning red from being caught.

"Not so fast now, I still need to punish you for disturbing the peace~" he teased jokingly. "Ah, Louisa, since you're here, hold him down for me~"

"Wha-?!" her face darkened as Francis practically flung you over to Louisa's arms. Even though she looked delicate, she had a firm grip around you.

"Now, y'know what happens to those who disobey the rules, right?~" Francis loomed over you with a teasing smirk on his face, making you blush harder.

"Uhh... y-you set them free...?~" you asked with a nervous grin, already feeling the butterflies going wild in your stomach.

At that, his grin grew more sinister "Mm nope, they get tickled!~". With that, his hands shot down to your stomach, scribbling and scratching all over it.

"WAH-! PFFT! AHAHAHAHA!" you squealed and shrieked in ticklish glee while squirming like a fish out of water in Louisa's arms, even she had a hard time surpressing her smile from your adorable reactions.

"My, such a sensitive belly you have~ I wonder if there's a spot that'll REALLY drive you wild in laughter~" he chuckled as you shook your head around.

"NOHOHO! I-IHI'M NOHOT TICKLISH!" you blurted out through hysterics, causing the other two to laugh in amusement.

"That so? So if I bring my hands down here... it won't tickle?~" as he said that, he snuck his hands under your shirt. His fingers poking and pinching at the bare skin now.

"EEP-! N-NO!" you squeaked and jolted at each playful touch, trying and failing to control your reactions.

"Hmm... let's see...~" he started to poke and wiggle his index finger along your navel, which really got the giggles going.

"AHAHAHA! OKAY! OKAHAHAY! S-STAHAHAP!" you begged through snorts of laughter. Your face was completely red at this point, your body was already feeling the toll the tickling gave it.

"Uhh sir? I think he's had enough" Louisa piqued up as she noticed your giggles dying down and you stopped struggling.

"Aww, alright lovebug~" he placed one final, teasing poke on your navel before stopping. You quickly gasped for breath, your chest heaving from the torture you had been put through. But it was still enjoyable nontheless. Before the other two could react, you fell sound asleep in Louisa's arms.

"Aww, looks like he's all tuckered out now" Louisa softly cooed.

"Here, I'll bring them back to their room" Francis gently held your sleeping frame as he brought you to your room to rest, a bright smile plastered on your face the entire time.

___________________________________________

Sorry if it's short, I literally forgor how to write words- 💀

[bonesandthebees]

ALSO idk if spruce will mention BUT I FINALLY GOT SPRUCE TO READ HONEY AND TANGERINES WHOS CHEERING?? I AM!!!! YIPPEEE!!!!!

Spruce has been very sus of hats!wilbur its very funny to watch

It's now making me reread hats and its hilarious bc im on a mini vacation on?? You guessed it!! A coastal island town 😭😭 HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENINGGNGN

The universe senses me on an island and is like "u must read honey and tangerines"

BUT YEAAAHHH TAKE SOME PHOTOS ITS VERY PRETTY HERE LOVE IT

Technically its a full blown city not a town but shhh the vibes are still here ALSO I GOT TO SEE ORCAS WHILE I WAS ON THE FERRY IT WAS SO COOLSHFKSJSBFKS

(tho uh?? Someone mightve gone overboard?? Not sure?? We had an announcement saying man overboard but then we heard another announcement like 15 mins later that might've said it was just a training thing but it was really hard to hear so ????? But the ferry didnt stop or anything so 🤷)

BUT YEAHHHH IT'S BEEN A REALLY FUN TRIP SO FAR:DDDDD

Oh that’s so gorgeous!!! It reminds me a bit of the time I spent a day in Victoria Canada (the only time I’ve been to Canada)

Also omg I can’t believe you finally got them to read it yippeeeee I hope spruce enjoys. And yay for your reread!!! Perfect vibes there

Omg orcas have they destroyed anyones yacht yet I hope so lol

Also uh, hope whoever might’ve gone overboard is ok lol

So glad you’re having a good trip!!!

[purpleglitch]

i finished art yippeee you guys are getting a 2x1 promotion hehe who cheered ^_^ (sounds of crickets)

[kidneystheallpowerful]

HEHEHEHE your ocs look so Fun but ,are they like a friend group or Whats Their dynamic i wanna know

YIPPEEE A QUESTION, Okok so, they're basically a bunch of friends in college where they made a club together so they can have a place to fool around in, sooo Harold is a lazy stoner dude who is stupid as shit but will do anything for his friends, Trent is Harold's best friend since childhood, he's kinda like Lars from the bridge kids, very quiet and awkward dude, Trixie is also childhood friends with Harold and Trent, she's a silly little gal, very cheerful and optimistic, but very insecure on how she looks because dysphoria sucks ass, Santino met the others in highschool, they're the one keeping the group from uhm, not dying, he's grumpy and likes to rewrite canon stuff of shows/books he likes, soooo they're just a funny little group who do all sorts of shit

[thetwilightroadtonightfall]

my personal good things of 2023 list

woooohooo let’s go!!

POKEMON SCARLET POKEMON SCARLET!!!!! I clocked so many hours into this game, it was such a delight to play at the beginning of the year

I had my blog’s 10th anniversary!! Thank you to everyone who’s been with me on this journey! It’s been awesome getting to hang out with a bunch of people like me

survived catching covid 😫 it was so painful and miserable but I got through it y’all

I binged RWBY after putting it off for so many years and it was incredible!! I love it so much, and the songs pretty much took over my brain and playlists for the rest of the year

In April, I went on a trip to the Philippines to visit family. I also took a side trip to South Korea! I had a lot of fun and learned a lot of new things. I even flew home by myself for the first time ever

I cut my hair short while I was away and it was probably the best and most Gender haircut I’ve ever gotten

After that, I binged The Good Place with my dad and it’s now one of my fav shows ever…it’s such a fun concept that they really did a good job of playing with

I also caught up on the One Piece manga finally??? Who am I

Speaking of One Piece, the live action was actually really cool!! I love how heartfelt it was, as a love letter to the original

July 18th was khx’s 10th anniversary holy shiiiiit…the game that started it all. The one I hold near and dear to my heart forever and ever

I’m so proud of the improvement I’ve made with my art. I left my comfort zone and tried new things, and I could really see the results. I had a good time making a lot of pieces and I can’t wait to make more stuff next year :)

Speaking of stuff, I finished so many creative projects this year!! I wrote my Ephemera essay, returned to a handful of old ideas and sketches to complete them, finished 2 fics and currently in the process of writing another, made an insane amount of OCs in the Ephemera bloodline project, made KHUXDR told in disney songs, and even made my first ever animatic. I even made memes that ended up being hits and sold some stuff from my ko-fi shop. I’m proud of it all ❤️

Missing Link news at last YIPPEEE!!!! No joke, the trailer and beta inspired me so much. My heart goes crazy thinking about how amazing this game is gonna be and I can’t wait for it to come out (hopefully in April or May maybe?)

I read the most amount of books I’ve ever read in one year. I’ve been watching Jack Edwards’ youtube videos and they’ve motivated me to pick up lots of really great books, but also just read more in general. I used to read a lot as a kid, and for my undergrad. Now it just feels good to read for my own enjoyment, at my own pace

I think I cooked and baked more in general too. I like having the time to make my own elaborate meals, it’s pretty therapeutic

My friend who works at a shoe museum invited me to a Halloween party and it was so fun, the vibes were immaculate

I got a new phone hooray!!!! Now my battery doesn’t die a quarter through the day and I’m ready for ML

Made some great progress on my Christmas village. I got my hands on several new additions that are so cute! I’ll be giving them makeovers for next year

As mentioned earlier, I’ve been working on my new fic Overmorrow…I think it’s my fav fic now ☺️

Plus a whole lot more I inevitably forgot to mention…✨

Overall, this year was full of trying new things and leaving my comfort zone. I wanna do more next year and keep growing and thriving with the people I love!! Cheers to a happy 2024! 🥂

[nightkit92]

If you receive this, you make somebody happy! Go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. If you get one back, even better! ♡♡

Another? Yippeee :D

[dieasthedevilwp]

hi max!!! i love warren very much and so im gonna ask questions about him!!! i also wanna edit him very badly and need fuel for it. you write complicated characters exceptionally well, all of them belong in a museum.

if bucky and warren were a song (of the usual bands) which songs would they be?

additionally, if your OC's were a Manchester Orchestra Band, which one would they be? (if you dont like this band ignore the question, i can never tell with your music taste, it is a fantastic mix of bands)

the comparisons of warren to an animal are more heartbreaking each and every time, but im wondering if all of them are on purpose? and as he gets older, does he ever stop being that aimal?

"There is not one family that has been able to handle the boy for more than a month. The fastest he has ever gotten sent back was two days. It was intentional in the beginning, but has become less so as time goes on."

why did he try get kicked out of foster homes at first? was it the lack of his papa and the wonder that if he was in that house that he wouldn't be able to find him? or was it the rage in him?

"Warren is just a little boy. He's just a child. He's a child who has been through indescribably horrifying things. The types of things that the majority of Earth's population don't even dare to imagine their entire lives, let alone experience them. He's killed and people have tried to kill him right back. He has more blood on his hands than men who rot in jail for murder. He's been treated like an animal his whole life, so when he is angry, all he knows how to do is act like one. It's instinct."

when bucky is going to get punished for what the winter soldier did, is warren also at risk of punishment? or because he was a child, is he not punished?

additionally, why does bucky have code words but warren doesnt? unless we havent heard them yet.

and, due to all the comparisons to an animal, if warren was an animal which would he be? i can imagine him being a dog, or a wolf cub, but i cant tell. warren is complicated and wondrous. you are also wondrous, max.

im gonna be back with more questions later, promise. bye max!!!

yippeee!!! we all cheer when i get a notification saying that ziggy has submitted an ask!!!

music:

here are some bucky and warren songs:

"let down" by radiohead always makes me think about warren and james thinking about being free. one day, they're gonna grow wings!!

"heroes" by david bowie!! confession: i was sobbing to this song on my way to school today, mourning the days when my dad would drive me to middle school and we would blast david bowie together, which then made me think about warren and james listening to this song. they could be heroes!! i hope to be able to make an edit of warren and the thunderbolts* with this song, because it feels very thunderbolts*-ish.

warren's nights spent sleeping in the backseats of cars always makes me think of "in the backseat" by arcade fire.

"the beast in me" by johnny cash is very warren and james pre-wakanda. and "like a soldier" and "can't help but wonder where i'm bound".

"no machine" by adrianne lenker is very very warren and james in between tws and cw :) there are also lyrics in "hours were the birds" that go "so comfortable forgetting about the storm / i love minnesota, michigan, colorado too / atlanta and montana, nebraska and the moon / and you" and those can also definitely be applied to them between tws and cw.

"humans" by big thief!!

not one of the usually mentioned bands/artists, but the song "stay alive" by jose gonzalez was part of the inspiration for the most recent chapter !!!

i am a big fan of manchester orchestra!! i don't know an impressive amount of their songs or anything, but i grew up listening to them and love what i do know! so here are my oc's as manchester orchestra songs:

rosie and fraser would both be "bad things to such good people". that song has been engraved in my heart since i was in seventh grade, and it was put on repeat a lot of the time while i was planning future ghosts.

juni is "the silence" 100%. i edited her and daryl to it a while back, but i'm pretty sure it got muted :( the lyrics "you can go anywhere but you are where you came from / little girl, you are cursed by your acestry / there is nothing but darkness and agony" are so juni that is it physically painful to think about.

mazzy would be "i've got friends". especially older mazzy. "i've got friends in all the right places / i know what they want and i know they don't want me to stay". take that as you will.

warren and james are "the maze" together.

cori is "forest whitaker" both in vibes and in the lyrics "i know you hate me too / always say you do"

agnes is a bit like "the way"

in agnes' eyes, devin is "the sunshine", but in devin's own eyes, she is "the alien"

animals:

yes, warren being likened to animals is very intentional!! it will lessen as he gets older and becomes more used to and comfortable with real person life, but it will never fully go away. because the less animal-like warren becomes, the more he realizes just how animal-like he once was, and that eats away at him.

foster homes:

warren purposely caused from in his foster homes for a lot of reasons. in the very beginning, he thought that if he acted out enough, they would just let him go again, though that was never going to be the case. after he realized that, though, he didn't stop his bad behavior. part of it was the anger and fear stashed inside of him, and, of course, how badly he missed his papa, but he also had some logical reasoning to it. he was scared of staying in one place for too long, for starters. he didn't want hydra to find him. second of all, if he ever got close to any of his foster parents, he hated himself for it, because he only wanted his papa. and lastly, he was testing. he wanted to know what was and wasn't normal or acceptable. so he would try things and see how they reacted, so he could learn from it.

punishment:

i wouldn't say that warren is going to be "punished" for what he did, per say. when he gets involved in the captain america: civil war, it's not that they want to put him in prison or anything. they don't want him out in the world, though—not without a suitable wrangler, anyway. and more than anything else, the government wants to test him. they want to know what hydra did to him so they can recreate that technology for their own use. the government doesn't see warren as a proper person, either. just like hydra, they see him as more of an animal. like his life is worth less than anyone else's. maybe that way of being percieved alone is the punishment itself.

code words:

warren does not have code words! he was born under hydra's control. they had control over his thoughts since before he ever even had any at all. james was an entire person with a life, with loved ones, and with morals when they took him. they had to find a way to control his actions against his will to get him to do the things they wanted. warren, though, only had the morals hydra taught him. his only instinct was to survive, and if that meant doing whatever hydra told him to, then that's what he did, no code words needed.

warren as an animal:

warren is very dog-like in many ways, but i would classify him more as a wolf. dogs are domesticated, and i feel like wolves are more wild and instinctive, just like warren.

as per usual, thank you sosososooo much for your amazing questions. i absolutely love talking about warren. have the greatest night/day/whatever time it is for you!!

[salemripley]

If you receive this, you make somebody happy! Go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. If you get one back, even better! (GETS YOU /lh <3) (No pressure ofc just saying I care about you!!)

YIPPEEE THANK YOU ANON :3

[riacte]

#op your tags are fucking fire i love the idea of the hermits in a dunmeshi au. taking notes#do you have thougjts on their races/classes

HAIIIII i was gonna tell you i'm lai-mar but apparently you found out already so YIPPEEE LAIMARRRRRR

ren - i mean it would make sense for him to be a kobold / beastkin. it's also funny if he's fussy bc he's royalty but he also eats the weirdest shit. this man cannot fight to save his life. magic user who keeps on getting possessed but somehow coming out of it fine. probably knows ancient magic which comes as a contrast to his silly teehee :3 demeanor. obsessed with eating weird things.

false - definitely a fighter / archer. maybe a tallmen / half foot hybrid bc she has good reflexes and senses (idk what this does to her lifespan). can't do magic to save her life sorry.

martyn - elf who just graduated or whatever and is a little snobby and annoying. insists on "no romance on the job" but he's the one who sees ren as his succubus so who's being the clown now (ren's succubus is not martyn. sad). he never learned magic formally and is like "fuck it we ball" every single time and bullshits some spell (it works) and cleo is horrified.

cleo - gnome who always argues with martyn about magic and everything basically. master at resurrection / healing. lives in the dungeon like senshi, choosing to join parties every now and then.

stress - dwarf! :3 the brawn and the tank. acts cheerful while she's slaughtering everyone. "HI MY LUVS! <3" she declares as she emerges completely soaked with blood holding a monster's head

iskall - dwarf who's childhood besties with stress. they always party together. like always. another warrior and tank type. butts heads with false for the title of best warrior. "someone will die" "OF FUN" that's iskall and stress.

anyways. i will be taking this into a very predictable route. ren becomes king or whatever and pardons his fav war criminal falsie. you just know his succubus is false smiling or something. false going "ren why did you go through the trouble of reviving me with ancient magic when you knew i'd wanted to scam you for money" and he's like "🥺 because you're still my friend" and she's like 🥺🥺🥺 you literally have no sense of self preservation 🥺🥺🥺

so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it

[ferretteeth]

When I first beat the Elden Beast I had to summon like 3 people to help me and it was SO FUN when we beat it we all just started jumping into each other cheering, three people who do not know each other and can't hear each other going YIPPEEE WE DID IT

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

be that as it May

hellooo, friends foes and strangers alike! using this title for a tumblr post for second time running and i'm actually early by one day (it's May 30th, so yep) genuinely proud of myself :) hahahaha

well, this post i think it's gonna be a monthly-journal-and-a-serious-note one... a word vomit guaranteed, so apologies in advance and bear with me. May was yet another rollercoaster but in another context i can't disclose yet (and not sure when i can let the secret out in the open or confirm/deny the rumors lol but for 2nd time: it’s not me getting engaged ok 🤣 i don’t even have anyone in mind) but yeah the highlight: not getting coldplay Jakarta ticket.

i'm so damn livid at so many things like 😭😭😭😭😭 first of all the scalpers deliberately buying the tickets just so they can resell it in exorbitant prices, the FOMO crowd for taking my spot as an actual coldplay fan (though i'm not nearly as mad as i am at the scalpers because well, they just want to see the band that i also happen to love), and the coldplay management team for planning a stupid Asia/Oceania leg tour route that doesn't make sense (who the hell decided to go for only a day at Jakarta then straight to Perth which is miles away and then back to Malaysia?)

anyways i'm counting on people suddenly having other events or important business to attend to so there will be tickets i can buy secondhand. not going to appease scalpers by panic buying i want to see them suffer a huge loss and will be rendered to resort selling it half price on d-day or something. i feel like i deserve the tickets so bad the concert day is literally eleven days before my birthday in November 😭 i know i can make it happen i WILL see my band like i did last time!!! 😤

the remainder of May is just me working on the project, preparing stuffs and literally running all over Jakarta to get things done, me overthinking, nothing new (read: clowning as always) not trying to be cryptic but just like coldplay said in Speed of Sound: "every chance that you get is the chance you seize." wish me luck, pals!

my Brisbane based cousin who's going to get married in August sent us the fabric needed to make the outfit for the special day and i'm getting even more hyped up!!! it's not me who's going to say my vows and tie my life to the other half of my soul but i'm super happy. can't wait for Bandung trip 2.0 yippeee

okay here we're entering the serious note territory... for once, for so long, i'm letting myself to just let go of the words. kinda sure some of you have probably caught on, or thought i'm a daft dimbo for this but yes: it's about him. on May 25th, two years ago i spoke to him for the very last time. full reassurance from my part to say that no, it's not about me not being able to move on or blah blah blah, it's quite the opposite actually.

writing this down, on here, feels like some sort of purge. it's not in a bad way either, i am glad i can finally talk about it openly, with no sense of remorse or regret or hatred or resentment. right now, after two years of as much space and time given to think and process it through, remembering him and the days that build the very core of memories i still keep in my mind feels like rereading my favorite book.

it's like me and him are just some other characters that i cheer and cherish for, i long and support and yearn for, and the story ends with a nice closure chapter. a complete book. to me personally, it's like reading Harry Potter. such a huge part of my life, yet i'm no longer there.

i no longer stutter or taken aback or get the chills whenever something in the present pulls me back into a particular memory of him. i embrace it with open arms and with a smile on my face. i reread my last letter to him and actually edited it (my editor self is just, you know, being an editor) i'm as unabashed and unbothered to open my old chats with him (i kinda cheated oops sorry if you read this lmao i just never feel the need to delete the chats because let's be fr i don't need to reread it, i still can recall what we talked about just from memory. that's me and my insanely biased brain, ha!) and actually laugh and cringe (mostly on my part, because it was so clear i tried to catch his attention by doing literally everything omg i was so embarrasing 🤣😭😂) (also for disclaimer, i never opened our chatrooms, not until this month, so i also kinda kept my part of the agreement) but it's fun nonetheless. nothing that happened between us will ever tarnish or alter the fact that i was genuinely happy and the joy filled memories will always be there.

it's a bit hilarious how my 'strategy' is to avoid him like a plague. left zero gap for any chance to even get a glimpse of him or his life. basically two years of absolutely nothing of him (except for some weird twist like how his mum and my mum are still members of the same whatsapp group, though they don't interact much) in a glance it does seem like i'm trying to run away from reality, but i swear it's just my way of dealing with problem at hand, since i suppose fourteen years worth of feelings can't be extinguished in a lazy attempt with feeble manner. yet that doesn't mean i'm gonna play pretend and fake an amnesia, i still think about him sometimes. i guess it's just part of being human, with weaknesses and all.

you've probably wondered, yes: i still do love him with all my heart. just in a different way, and for sure, from far away. see what i'm talking about? he's just like an endearing fictional character you have grown to love and will always be with you (yes i'm a huge Potterhead lol) it's platonic, sometimes familial love, just constantly running in the background. i always do that to the people i regard highly in my life, so again, nothing new.

i still count him as one of my selected few best friends though imprudent and tactless he can be because he sometimes is also the voice of reason to my farfetched always anxious self (also because he knows too much of my secrets thanks to me being biased and a pathological overshare-r) if God ever made destiny to make another funny turn, i would've liked us to be an actual, functional, supportive friends. long live the friends!

Nietzsche is right about without forgetting it's quite impossible to live at all, but i digress. if you’ve watched Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind, you’ll know what i’m talking about; i guess at some point things just don't have any explanation (yet) of why it happens ever so, you just carry on with it. archiving it somewhere in a vault.

so. even though i know he will never read this... hey you, i just want to say i'm so grateful to have you as friend, though things don't always go smoothly. honored to have been graced by your presence in my life, though just for a limited time as it is. i hope you're always happy, healthy, and loved!

phew, i got super emotional. maybe because it's been two years, i can't believe i managed to stand for what is right this long! (and will continue to do so) i am here from all the things i've gone through :) yet another coldplay quote because i just love this band so much, and i think this song is my song. please read the lyrics as you listen to it, best feeling ever.

it's cathartic, a form of healing, alleviating, to put these, all my feelings, out in the open. this is what i live with and it is my life. i'm content with how everything is going and i think it's all settled now, all good. now full throttle focusing on the project, if things go my way, i'll tell you guys all about it on my July post. see you then! 💙