#Wow I am ten thousand years late to the party | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trulymadlysydney · 4 years ago

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Somewhere In Time: Nine

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”

-Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

tw: Death, Loss of Parent

Previous Chapters HERE

***Please Do Not Repost Without Permission***

April 18th, 1963, 1:32pm

It’s a warm spring day, one of the first of the year, and ten year-old Tanya Elliot is thrilled to be done with class for the day.

She steps out into the sunshine, forgoing her jacket and instead slinging it over her arm as she says her quick goodbyes to her five best friends. None of them are headed to the same destination; Sherry’s mom picks her up in the parking lot, Marcy and Jana both take the bus, Kelly walks over to the high school to meet up with her brother, and Shannon walks home-- only in the opposite direction that Tanya does.

With an agreement to meet up in their usual spot tomorrow morning before school (and Kelly’s promise to bring some extra sweets from her mother’s baking club), they set off on their separate ways. Tanya shifts her backpack to her left shoulder, and begins her fifteen minute walk home.

She takes a big deep breath of the sweet smelling air, enjoying the way the sun feels against her face. She wonders if maybe she could convince her parents to take a trip to the lake on Saturday; maybe she could work on her tan for a bit. (And besides, she wouldn’t mind seeing Willard, the older boy who lives with his family in a gorgeous house right on the water.)

Tanya stops walking and is completely knocked out of her thoughts when something-- someone-- across the playground catches her attention.

It seems to be another little girl, definitely no older than Tanya herself. Tanya finds her eyes fixated on the girl the moment she sees her. She’s beautiful, but she sticks out like a sore thumb because her clothing is not at all of this time period.

Tanya stops walking, eyeing the girl from afar. As completely out of place as she seems, she looks perfectly calm. She watches the other children, a slight smile on her face. No one seems to acknowledge her much, except for maybe a confused glance or a laugh at her appearance. She brushes off the children’s snickers (as far as Tanya can tell, she doesn’t even react at all) and continues to scan the playground as if looking for something.

The girl seems to feel Tanya’s eyes, because her soft smile only grows in intensity before she turns her eyes to meet Tanya’s gaze. It makes Tanya’s blood run cold, but it also piques her curiosity intensely.

At first, Tanya thinks she’s perhaps seeing a ghost; after all, she’s lived in this town all her life and never noticed this strange girl with the strange clothes. But at any rate, it doesn’t frighten her much, and when the young girl smiles at Tanya, Tanya thinks better of her original assumption.

Tanya glances down at her watch-- a gold watch that is much too big for her wrist-- to read the time: 2:32. Her mother will be expecting her home in fifteen minutes, and will probably start to worry should she be but a minute later.

Still, Tanya can’t shake the feeling that this girl is important. There’s something in her eyes that feels familiar and welcoming, and an overwhelming sense of magnetism radiating from her very being. Tanya knows better than to talk to strangers, of course, but this isn’t a stranger; this is another little girl. A friend, perhaps.

So she bites the bullet and makes her way across the wood-chip covered playground, without any regard as to whether the girl wants to speak to her as well.

“Are you new?” Tanya asks as she approaches, by way of introduction.

The girl smiles an all knowing smile, as if she’s been waiting for Tanya to ask “I’m Violet.”

Tanya laughs at that. “Neat. That’s not what I asked, but neat. I’m Tanya.”

“Hello Tanya.” Violet remains weirdly comfortable throughout this entire interaction, as if she’s spoken to Tanya several times before this. She nods towards her hand. “I like your ring.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m not new, no. I’m from the past.”

Tanya isn’t sure she’s heard Violet correctly the minute the words leave Violet’s mouth. She blinks, waiting for Violet’s face to change to reveal that she is, in fact, joking. But her face never changes. She remains stone faced and unmoving, and it takes Tanya aback.

After a charged yet awkward silence, Tanya speaks. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I—“

“No you did,” Violet cuts her off. “You heard correctly.”

Tanya blinks dumbly back at her new friend. “I don’t…. understand…?”

Violet sighs, almost as if bothered to be explaining herself. “I travelled through time to get here here. From the past.”

Now, Tanya grows skeptical. She wonders if this is one of her friends playing a prank on her, and she glances around to see if anyone is watching her from afar and holding in their giggles. When she’s met only with complete normalcy, however, she turns back to her new friend.

“But how?” She asks. “How is that possible?”

Violet shrugs. “I don’t know. I just know that it is. Because here I am.”

Tanya, still skeptical, laughs in disbelief. “Alright” she says, “well then what year are you from?” She puts air quotations around the question, which only makes Violet laugh in a way that makes Tanya feel immature.

“I come from 1907,” Violet explains. “What year is this? 1967?”

“1963,” Tanya corrects. “But I’m sure you knew that.” She rolls her eyes. “Look, what’s the big idea? I know you’re trying to fool me, and it isn’t working.”

Violet shakes her head. “But I’m not, silly!” She says. “I’ve been working since I was small to learn how to time travel. And I finally did it!”

“Wow,” Tanya deadpans, still completely unconvinced. “How did you do it?”

Violet grins. “You don’t believe me, do you?”

“To tell you the truth, Violet,” Tanya says, absentmindedly picking at the dirt under her nails, “I don’t.”

“I didn’t think so.” Violet giggles. “But if you really want to know, I’ll tell you.”

Tanya glances nervously around the playground once again. She knows she’s already going to be late coming home anyway, so there’s no reason she shouldn’t stay here and talk to the odd girl. Still, she doesn’t want to push her own luck with her mother.

She shrugs. “Actually, I gotta get home,” she explains. “But if you wanna walk with me, you can.”

Violet smiles, looking more childlike than she has in their entire interaction. “Really? Gee, I’d love that!”

“Really?” Tanya smiles. “Alright. Follow me.”

The two girls fall into step, side by side, as Violet launches right into her story about time travel. This doesn’t seem to be a secret for her— in fact it seems about as common a topic as the weather for Violet— but Tanya grows slightly embarrassed at the volume of the other girl’s voice.

It’s all so strange really, how trusting Violet is of Tanya. Then again, Tanya could really say the same thing about herself. She doesn’t know what it is about the peculiar girl that causes her to trust her so much, but at any rate she enjoys her company. (Even if her story is a bit odd.)

What Tanya hadn’t anticipated, of course, was the connection and friendship she would develop with this girl. She hadn’t anticipated inviting the girl over for dinner that night, (and she hadn’t expected her mother to say yes). She hadn’t anticipated spending all of her free time with Violet, laughing and playing together and becoming the best of friends. And she definitely hadn’t anticipated that within the coming weeks, she would come to believe Violet’s story whole-heartedly, which would instill within her a deep fascination in the concept of time travel.

And more than anything, she hadn’t expected their goodbye to be so painful.

Violet had explained to her multiple times that this was the first time she’d done anything like this. She had also explained that, although she would try, there was no guarantee she would be able to come back. And although Tanya had listened and valued what her friend was saying, she hadn’t exactly believed her. She had faith that her friend was going to come back. She had faith they would be friends forever.

But when Violet disappears, on exactly the day that she’d said she would and without saying a proper goodbye to Tanya, Tanya grows desperate.

It’s why, in the years that follow, Tanya finds herself immersed in book after book, depicting time travel and its possibilities. It’s why she reaches out, through any means necessary, trying to find some way to communicate with her friend from another time. Her friend, who quickly became a soulmate best friend, who understood her in ways many others did not.

It’s why Tanya finds herself grounded for a week the summer before 7th grade because she got in a fight with a boy at school who told her time travel was bogus.

It’s why she finds herself, on the night of her fifteenth birthday party, being relentlessly teased by her friends for still being interested in time travel.

And it’s why, on April 18th, 1975, she finds herself crying on her bed after another failed time travel attempt.

Her one year-old daughter Veronica sleeps peacefully in her crib as Tanya tries, to absolutely no avail, to travel back to her friend. She wants to tell Violet all about her daughter. She wants to tell Violet that, despite the literal years that separate them, she’s always considered Violet to be her baby’s godmother. She isn’t even sure why she’s still so hung up on this whole ordeal, but in any case she’s desperate to find an answer, and to know if Violet is searching for one too.

Tanya glances out at the night sky, the skyline of New York—so hopeful and inspiring to some, but so suffocating to her— promising Violet that she will never give up.

She promises, out loud, that she will never stop trying to find her friend. In every lifetime. In every timeline. She swears she will do her best to find her.

And with a discouraged heart that she tries to ignore, Tanya goes to bed; dreaming of a world far different than her own, in which times are simpler, and her best friend lives forever.

---------------

January 9th, 1925, 8:22am

It’s a quiet, somber morning in Harry’s apartment. In the same fashion that they have for the past few mornings, Harry and Roni work side by side to prepare breakfast in the kitchen. Only this time, it’s quiet. Nearly wordless. Their kisses are dry but lingering, and it makes them both feel guilty in a way that neither can explain.

Harry fights to suppress the urge to beg Roni, at least once or twice more, to stay with him; and Roni has to hold back the tears threatening to spill at any moment because she feels entirely too overwhelmed with questions. What if she’s doing the wrong thing? What if she chose to stay? How would all of her loved ones back home manage to live? Or what if they didn’t, and Roni’s decision killed them all off? Would it be quick and painless for all her loved ones in her original timeline? Would they just all together stop existing? Would anyone even remember them?

“I don’t like this,” Harry speaks up, drawing Roni from her thoughts as they sit wordlessly at the dining table.

“Hm?” Roni doesn’t ask it because she didn’t hear what he said. Rather, she asks as a way to fill the silence that follows his words.

“I don’t like that we’re just… not saying anything. I don’t know.”

Roni sighs. “I know,” she admits. “It’s not how I wanted our last morning to go.”

Harry winces subtly at her words-- “our last morning,”-- and Roni wishes more than anything that she could take them back. But she can’t. There is no way around the inevitable any longer.

“I hate feeling like--” Harry trails off, and Roni doesn’t push him to finish the sentence.

“Like we’ve run out of things we can say?” she offers after a moment, tracing the rim of her mug with her fingers. “Me too. It kills me.”

Harry gives her only a sad smile in response, which breaks Roni’s heart even further. She wants to suggest pretending like everything is fine, of course, the same way she has every morning for the past week. But she can’t. Not anymore. The decision has been made, and she can’t change her mind now.

Unless…

“Your food is going to get cold,” Harry chuckles, and Roni glances down at the room temperature piece of toast that’s been sitting in her hand for the past five minutes. She laughs bitterly, and swallows the lump that refuses to go down in her throat.

“Sorry,” she says. “Kinda nauseous. Not in a breakfast sort of mood.”

“Well you’ll have to eat something.” Harry drums his fingers absentmindedly along the tabletop. “Got a long journey ahead of you, y’know.”

He says it with a smile, but the words only cause the lump in Roni’s throat to grow ten sizes. She knows he’s trying to be encouraging, but it hurts far, far too much. She thinks that if the pain of overthinking doesn’t kill her, the suffocating feeling in her throat surely will.

Harry notices her facial expression, and his cheeks go red. “Sorry.”

Roni’s face grows hot and her eyes go a bit foggy. She had told herself this morning that she wasn’t going to cry all day today, at least not until that evening as they were saying their final goodbyes. This vow, however, had come after a silent cry as she lay in bed watching her sleeping lover breathe softly with tousled curls and a sleepy pout on his face. She could lay with him and watch him sleep like that forever.

So she giggles half-heartedly and unconvincingly, pulling away from his loving touch and fanning at her moist eyes with her hands. “Ah!” She groans. “Sorry. I wasn’t gonna cry until—“

“Hey, hey!” Harry leans earnestly across the table, reaching forward and placing his hand comfortingly on her back. “It’s okay, honey. Listen, you’re okay. It’s okay to cry.”

“This blows,” Roni says, her words accented by a bitter laugh. “I fucking hate this.”

Harry chuckles at her words. “As do I, honey. But it’s okay.” He scratches at her spine lightly, his voice softening as he repeats his words for emphasis. “It’s going to be okay.”

Roni looks at him, no longer trying to supress the single tear rolling down her cheek. He offers her the sweetest smile in return, and she leans across the table to kiss it softly. “Angel,” she says. “You’re a fucking angel.”

It makes Harry giggle, and he pulls away to stab gently at his scrambled eggs with his fork.

“Been thinking.” He speaks a moment later around a mouthful.

“Yeah?”

“Mm. Think we should make tonight special.”

“Special,” Roni scoffs. “Not quite the word I’d use for it.”

“I know,” Harry chuckles, “but it might ease the blow a bit.”

Roni rests her elbows on the table, leaning in to listen to him. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” Harry says, allowing himself a pause to swallow his food. “It’s going to be cold, so that might put a bit of a damper on the evening.”

“Because it was going to be such a lovely evening otherwise,” Roni says sarcastically, and Harry rolls his eyes at her cheekiness before continuing.

“Was thinking we could build a fire. Pack some food, maybe some candles. Extra blankets. You can wear my coat that you like.” His smile deepens. “You know. Just make tonight as pleasant as we can make it. Maybe a bit romantic. Go out with a bang, so to speak.”

Roni hesitates, trying to fight the subtle smirk threatening to form on her face. “Was that a play on words?”

“Hm?”

“You know.” Roni shifts in her seat, enjoying the playful banter that’s briefly lightening the mood. “A ‘bang.’ Like we’re gonna bang later.”

Harry laughs, an amused furrow in his brow. “I don’t understand. What does that mean?”

“You don’t use the term banging? Like, for having sex?”

“Never heard of that, no.” Harry grins. “It’s catchy. I like it.”

“Right?” Roni raises her coffee mug to her lips. “I figured that’s what you meant.”

“Do you want to-- eh-- bang? Tonight?” Harry laughs at the phrase that feels so foreign in his own mouth, and it makes Roni giggle in spite of herself.

“I mean we don’t have to. We might be too sad to bang. We can see where the wind takes us.”

“The wind is going to take you right on back to 1999,” Harry says sadly, although his smile still lingers on his cheeks.

Roni’s smile fades, and she feels her shoulders visibly sink. “Well,” she says softly, “yeah.”

Harry chuckles. “Sorry. We’re talking in circles here, aren’t we?” He nods towards her plate. “Can I make you something else, darling?”

———————

The rest of the day feels like a strange dream, both dragging on and passing by in a blur. They make slow, quiet love on the couch, and they tease each other playfully when they both inevitably start crying. When the sun begins its natural descent, they turn on some cheerful music to try and ease their anxiety, but it doesn’t help— reminding them instead of all the fun times they’ve had together.

Harry sighs after the third record they’ve put on doesn’t do the trick. “Can I play something else?” He asks, quietly but hopefully. “It’s gonna be a bit sad, but… you know.”

Roni shrugs. “Shoot,” she offers. “Not like you can bring the mood today down any further.”

Harry chuckles. “Well…” he says, then trails off. He gives Roni’s knee a gentle squeeze before rising to his feet, padding barefoot across the carpet to switch songs.

In such a simple act, Roni finds herself particularly overwhelmed with emotion. She watches him, eyes trailing the spanse of his broad back, admiring the way his trousers cling to his pert backside and the way he stands, legs apart and with most of his weight on his right side. She wonders if he’s aware that he stands like that.

In all of her twenty-six years of living, she’s never fallen so deeply in love with the tiniest characteristics of a person before. Not until Harry. She notices everything about him, and finds every bit of it endearing— (even the way he snores in his sleep so loudly it wakes her up). These specific moments of quiet admiration hold as much weight and value in her memory as those instances of passionate love making or deep belly laughter or falling asleep in one another’s arms. It’s all so deliciously him—them— and she can’t seem to fathom continuing on in a world without him.

When the music begins, Roni’s throat feels like it’s closing in around itself. She recognizes the song instantly— it’s one he’d played for her back when she’d first gotten here. It sounds different this time, and it doesn’t take Roni long to realize that this isn’t the instrumental version she’d first heard. This time, it’s the version with lyrics; lyrics that hold a much deeper value in her heart than the first time Harry had whispered them in her ear. Roni looks at Harry, helpless, as the opening notes begin playing.

Gone is the romance that was so divine

‘Tis broken and cannot be mended

Harry joins in, stepping gently towards Roni with a sympathetic, yet understanding smile. “You must go your way, and I must go mine, but now that our love dream has ended…” Harry trails off, his eyes growing misty (though he fights hard to suppress it. “Fitting, innit?”

“Oh Harry,” Roni sighs. She rises to her feet, taking his hand and allowing him to pull her into him. They sway gently, in what could hardly be considered a waltz, and Roni tries desperately to push the anxiety in her throat down. She rests her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and breathing in his scent by his neck. He holds her like he’ll never let her go.

“Remember the first time we did this?” Harry asks quietly.

“How could I forget?” Roni laughs. “Feels like a lifetime ago.”

Harry rests his cheek lightly on Roni’s head. “It does, doesn’t it?”

They continue to sway, hardly exchanging any words, and Roni doesn’t even realize that she’s crying (again) until she pulls away to look up at Harry and notices her tear stains against his shirt. He’s trying not to cry as well; Roni can tell by the way he refuses to look anywhere but at one spot on the wall. But when Roni kisses the corner of his chin, he softens with a chuckle, shaking his head as if he can’t believe their luck.

“I’m already missing you, bunny.”

Roni sniffs, nuzzling her face back into Harry’s chest. “I’m missing you more than you know.”

Not another word is spoken, and even after the song ends, they stand together in silence. They’re hardly swaying any longer at this point— mostly they’re just holding one another while they still can. After about five minutes, Harry audibly swallows.

“We should probably get going. It’ll be dark soon.”

His words make Roni nauseous, knowing that her time left in this humble apartment is limited now to only minutes. She stops swaying, and Harry makes no effort to let go of her. He sighs, scratching tenderly at her back. “I know,” he whispers, “I hate it, too.”

Roni tries her best to keep a brave face. “Trying to get rid of me that quick are you?” she teases. She’s delighted when she hears a genuine laugh bubble out from Harry’s mouth.

“Oh honey,” he says, kissing the top of her head. “Never, never. Never in a million years.”

They remain still, holding one another in their embrace until they both become painfully aware that they really do need to get going. The process of untangling themselves from one another’s arms takes much longer than necessary, and even as they let go they immediately interlace their fingers.

“I don’t have anything to pack,” Roni admits. “You can keep my party dress from when I got here. It’s too cold for me to put it on and sit on the beach tonight. And as for the ones you bought me—“ She trails off, glancing down at the skirt of the pretty dress she’s wearing right now. “Well, you can keep those, too. Not sure how much use I’ll have for them in the year 2000.”

“You never know,” Harry jokes, trying to keep things light hearted. “Maybe there’ll be a costume party or something--”

Roni giggles, shaking her head and wiping her eyes. “Harry.”

He smiles, leaning forward and kissing her nose. “I’ll pack up some snacks and a few other things we might need. A blanket maybe. You get your stones and such. And,” a crooked smile tugs on his cheek, “that coat you like.”

Roni grins, in spite of herself. “Can I wear your cap?”

“Do you want to wear my cap?”

“I want any piece of you on me that I can possibly get.”

Harry chuckles, and for a moment everything feels completely normal. “Cheeky,” he mutters, pinching her butt before turning to busy himself in the kitchen.

Roni watches him for a bit, and although he’s aware of it he doesn’t make some cheeky, embarrassed little remark requesting her to stop. She watches the way he moves around the kitchen that she’s grown so familiar with. The kitchen, so beyond tiny and cozy, connecting to the living room that has come to smell like home.

The memories they have made in this humble living room in such a short amount of time begin playing like a film in Roni’s mind. Dancing together, cooking, making lol, building puzzles; the most mundane things made to be so magical because they were done together.

Roni smiles to herself at the memory of how unpleasantly she’d treated Harry in the beginning. She feels bad, of course, but it’s humorous to think about now because she was so lost at the time.

“I’m still here!” Roni exclaims, infuriated that Harry doesn’t seem as shocked about this as she does.

“You are.” Harry nods, the scrambled eggs in the frying pan sizzling under the spatula. “Did you sleep well?”

“Harry, holy fuck, how is this happening?” Roni doesn’t dare move, as if moving is going to trap her even further. She feels like the walls are closing in on her as the full extent of the situation hits her. She hadn’t allowed herself to fully feel these feelings the night before, because she hadn’t seen this as a permanent issue. But now here she is, in a year that doesn’t even feel real, with a bastard who doesn’t even seem to care about her concerns.

Harry smiles to himself. “I don’t know, pet. Honestly, I was kind of thinking that maybe you were drunk and just forgot where you were last night.”

“I wasn’t drunk, and I didn’t forget, but thank you for completely invalidating me.” Roni huffs. Stomping across the living room and plopping down onto the most uncomfortable couch she’s ever felt in her life, she figures this is an appropriate time to just pout– especially considering that Harry isn’t going to give into her panicking. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?” She props her elbows on her knees and buries her head in her hands.

“Eat some breakfast and relax,” Harry answers. “We’ll figure this out. Would you like some tea?”

Roni smiles at the memory of her first morning here, feeling overwhelmed by the complete 180 her heart has done. At the time, she’d wanted nothing more than to go home, and she hadn’t believed Harry when he’d said they would figure it out. Now that they have, she wants nothing more than to stay here.

She makes her way into Harry’s tiny bedroom, the film of her memories continuing to roll through her mind. She had found this place so odd, so minimalistic, and she’d thought Harry was a nutjob for giving up his bed for her. She remembers helping him place the fitted sheets along the mattress, and she remembers waking up early and watching people through the small window.

Her cheeks grow hot, however, as the memory of the first time they made love in this bed plays in her head.

“Don’t do this… unless you mean it.”

Roni sees the earnestness in his eyes, and she’s never been more sure of anything in her life. She brushes the tip of her nose against his before licking her lips and pulling him in for another kiss. This kiss isn’t as elaborate as it had been moments ago, but it’s sweet, and she feels all the tension in his shoulders release.

When she pulls away, she smiles, reaching up to brush a wild strand of hair off of his forehead. She nods her head.

“I mean it.”

She chuckles, running her hand along the thin duvet of the bed and making her way to the small closet. She has to say one final goodbye to her dresses-- the ones that Harry had used his last dollars to purchase for her. The ones that had felt so funny and so foreign on her the first time she’d worn them.

They hang, untouched and cold, among the few dressier shirts that Harry owns, and Roni’s heart clenches at the thought of them hanging here forevermore. She thinks perhaps Harry should give them away, maybe to Daisy— although come to think of it, these may be far too dull for Daisy taste. Maybe Harry could sell them, make a bit of extra cash. Or maybe—

“Veronica.”

Harry’s voice from the doorway startles her out of her thoughts, and she whirls around on her heel with a jump. She hadn’t realized she was crying again (although the ache behind her eyes should have been a dead giveaway), and Harry notices her tears immediately. He doesn’t go to her, he only nods sympathetically when she laughs and gives him a shrug in surrender, as if to admit “yeah, I’m crying again, so what.”

“You alright, darling?”

She takes a slow deep breath in, savoring the smell of his little place that she’s fallen so deeply in love with, and examining it one last time before nodding and turning back to him. “I’m alright,” she says with finality. “Let’s do this.”

---------------

The beach is freezing, because of course it is, and Roni and Harry shiver as they set up their blanket on the shore. Roni reminds Harry several times that he didn’t have to do all this— he didn’t even have to come with her if he didn’t want to— but he is having none of it.

Roni shivers, wearing Harry’s heavier coat and his little cap that she’s grown so fond of, and her breath comes out in a visible puff of air.

“Can you set up the snacks and the stones and such?” Harry asks. “It’s too bloody cold for me to wait any longer on starting the fire.”

Roni nods, the thought of the warm fire cheering her up. She reaches into the picnic basket and begins sorting through the various snacks they’ve decided to bring.

Harry really had thought of everything, just to add a bit of a sense of normalcy to this whole ordeal. He’d packed some leftover cold pasta salad that they’d had from the night before, along with a bottle of chocolate milk for them to share. It was adorable watching him pack, especially when he got so excited about bringing items to make “these new treats called S’mores! They’re delicious, bunny, you’ll love them!” (Roni of course hadn’t had the heart to tell him that she was more than familiar with s’mores; not when he looked so cute explaining them to her.)

He had offered to bring candles as well, but ultimately had decided against it when he realized it was a bit windy, and starting a fire was going to be difficult enough.

As if on cue, he curses under his breath, causing Roni to giggle and offer him help; which he, of course, immediately turns down. So Roni let’s him do his thing, setting up all of the various items from the picnic basket and trying not to dwell on the finality of the entire situation.

It’s about fifteen minutes later when Harry finally has a solid fire going. They eat together, chatting casually about the weather and occasionally bringing up a few of their favorite memories over the past few weeks they’ve shared. It feels strange, when they really think about it, that their time together hasn’t actually been all that long. Both agree, albeit somewhat glumly due to the circumstances, that that’s what happens when you meet your twin flame. It happens, fast and quick and colorful, and then either softens into a comfortable glow or explodes into a million pieces, leaving the flames lost until the next lifetime in which they find each other.

Neither Roni nor Harry are quite sure where exactly on that scale their situation falls.

After their meal, they work together to clean up the leftover food, shivering and subconsciously moving their bodies closer to the fire. Roni scowls realizing how little either of them ate, and she sighs, looking out onto the dark, cold ocean.

“This feels like… like the last supper. You know like, in the Bible.” Roni scowls. “And I’m the one that’s about to betray you.”

Harry chuckles. “You’re not betraying me.”

“Well that’s what it feels like.”

“Well, don’t think of it like that,” Harry says softly. “Think of it like a romantic picnic between two lovers. I mean, that’s sort of what it is, isn’t it?”

His smile breaks Roni’s heart, but she giggles in spite of herself. “I suppose,” she says, her own words tasting like bile in her mouth. Speaking at all right now feels wrong and completely foreign, and the sense of guilt that lingers in her stomach has only intensified tenfold since this morning. She knows Harry is fully aware of the situation, and that he is prepared for what is about to happen; yet she still can’t shake the feeling that somehow she’s about to betray him. It’s like she’s looking in the face of an innocent puppy that she’s about to completely abandon-- shivering and helpless.

With that thought comes the terrible imagery of Harry packing all of this up once she’s gone. Harry-- alone and cold-- folding up the picnic blanket and the leftover food, walking soberly back to his apartment to sleep in his bed alone. The thought of him tracing the dent made by her head left on his pillow (since neither of them had bothered to make the bed this morning), or him smelling her dresses hanging in his closet, never to be worn again-- it’s all too much for Roni to bear. She lets out a long huffing sigh, accompanied by a gentle “for fuck’s sake.”

Harry barely looks up at her as he continues to set up all of the various snacks. “Hm?” he asks.

“Harry--” Roni’s voice is abrupt. “Am I… doing the right thing?”

Now, Harry does stop. He looks up at her from under his lashes slowly, as if waiting for her to say something else. He doesn’t press her, he only looks at her, and it makes her groan.

“You know,” she tries again, “Like… should I just stay? I don’t want to erase the people that I love from back home… and I definitely don’t want to erase my mom, but I can’t--” She breaks off, tears beginning to well in her eyes, “I can’t lose you.”

Harry’s voice is calm when he speaks. “Do you think you’re doing the right thing?”

“That’s why I’m asking you!” Roni wails, reaching up to wipe at her eyes.

“Well, bunny,” Harry stokes the fire a bit more, the embers dancing against the darkening sky, “You know I can’t make that decision for you.”

“Harry,” Roni sighs in frustration.

“I can’t tell you what you want to hear,” he says slowly, a gentle but sad smile tugging on the corners of his lips, “because I don’t know what you want to hear. I don’t think you do either.”

Roni wipes at her eyes once again, only to realize that it’s in vain. The tears are thick, and are beginning to flow freely down her cheeks. Harry watches her sadly, unsure of whether or not he should move.

On the one hand, he wants to go to her. He wants to take her in his arms, kiss away her tears, beg her to stay; to be his forever. But on the other hand, he knows that what his beloved Veronica needs the most right now is someone to be strong for her. And how can he do that when he’s hurting just as much? How can he hold her in his arms and be strong for her if he knows that the minute he feels her shuddering sob into his chest, he’ll break down as well?

So he stays put, frozen in place focusing his eyes intensely on one spot of the fire. There is nothing more for him to do right now.

The sound of the ocean mixed with the crackling of the fire would be such a beautiful backdrop for a romantic evening together on any other occasion. But given the circumstances, neither Harry nor Roni are feeling very romantic at present. Roni shivers, wrapping the coat tighter around her shoulders as a bitter ocean breeze rips through her.

“I can’t lose you,” Roni repeats quietly.

“You won’t,” Harry answers. “I’ll never forget you as long as I live.” When Roni doesn’t say anything, Harry scoots just a titch closer to her. “Veronica,” he says slowly. “I will never stop trying to find you. Until the day I die, I will try. I will look for you in every corner of the earth. In every lifetime. In every timeline. I will do my best to find a way to find you. I will never, ever give up.”

Roni sniffs, reaching up to wipe at her runny nose. “And what if you can’t find me?”

Harry swallows audibly. “Well,” he says slowly. “Then. I’ll wait for you in the sky.”

Roni’s throat swells, and she blinks back a few more tears, licking away the salty remnants that remain on her lips. “I want you to find me.”

“I’ll find you,” Harry reassures her. “One way or another. I will find you.”

Roni blinks at Harry, so many words hanging on the tip of her tongue but no actual voice with which to speak them; especially because she doesn’t even know where she would begin. She lets out all of the breath in her chest, reaching forward and taking his hand in hers. “I love you, Harry Styles.”

He smiles, giving her hand a squeeze and running his thumb along the back. “I love you too, Veronica Elliot.”

After a brief moment, Roni leans across the way to press a few short pecks to Harry’s lips. When she pulls away, she sighs. “I don’t want to think about it anymore,” she says, “but I’m not sure there’s much else to focus on.”

“Tell me about your father,” Harry offers.

The proposition takes Roni by surprise, and she furrows her eyebrows at Harry. “Forreal?”

“Yeah. Heard all about your mum. Heard nothing about your father.”

Roni blows out a puff of air, wondering where she should start before giving up and shrugging. “Not much to tell.”

“You mentioned he left when you were young,” Harry prompts, “but do you remember him at all?”

Roni shakes her head. “Not at all. He was gone before I was even aware that I existed.” She laughs. “From what I’m told though, he was awful. My grandma never wanted my mom to be with him. But she was… I mean, you know, she was young. And no one really listens to their parents when they’re young. Not that young at least. She thought she was in love.”

“And him?”

Roni shrugs. “He thought she was easy. Knocked her up and poof. Gone.”

Harry furrows his eyebrows. “Knocked her up?”

“Got her pregnant,” Roni giggles. “Nine months later he was gone but—“ she throws her arms up, a sort of ‘tah-dah’ movement, “— the real party arrived.”

Harry laughs, nodding his head. “Absolutely. The world’s biggest blessing came along. I’ll bet he’s sorry he missed it.”

“I doubt it,” Roni says, scrunching her toes into the sand. “Bet he hasn’t even spared a thought for my mom and I.”

Harry says nothing for a moment, only staring deep in thought at the fire and processing Roni’s story. The fire feels warm on his face, and it makes him a bit sleepy. He breathes in, low and slow through his nose before speaking again. “Shame.” He smiles up at Roni, admiring the way the glow of the fire hits her skin. “Can’t imagine doing something like that. As a man. As a father.”

Roni shrugs. “I can’t either. But, you know, it happens. I guess.”

“It shouldn’t.” Harry shakes his head. “I wouldn’t let it happen.”

“You think you would ever get married?” Roni doesn’t exactly realize the weight of her question until it’s slipped past her lips, and she almost regrets asking it. Harry hardly reacts, save for the flash of his dimple that Roni has grown to love so much. He averts his gaze, really giving some thought to his answer, then after a moment, he nods.

“Maybe. But at this point, m’not sure it’s really in the cards for me.”

Roni leans forward, genuine concern etched into her features. “Why not?”

Now he looks back at her from under his lashes. “You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

He smiles sadly. “Because the woman I love is leaving me to go back to her home that’s seventy-five years in the future.”

Harry’s words hit her like a ton of bricks. Not that she was really expecting another answer, of course, but god. “Harry—”

“It’s alright though. It’s the way things have to be, you know? I wouldn’t change us. I wouldn’t change what we’ve been through.” He shrugs. “I’d change the circumstances, sure. But I’d take a thousand lifetimes of this over never meeting you. So I have to take that for what it is, don’t I?”

In any other situation, Roni would be fully aware that she’s moving far too quickly. But seeing as her time left with Harry is reduced down to merely a few more hours, she doesn’t care. “I’d marry you in a heartbeat, Harry.”

His face brightens ever so slightly. “Yeah?”

Roni nods earnestly. “In a heartbeat.”

Harry squeezes her hand softly. “Perhaps in another life.”

“And for what it’s worth--” Roni chews anxiously on her cheek, then quiets her voice. “I know my mom would have loved you. You don’t know her, so that might not mean much to you, but it’s true. You’d have her blessing before you could even ask her for it.”

“That means a lot to me.” Harry’s thumb strokes absentmindedly along the back of Roni’s hand. “I would’ve loved to meet her.”

Yet another long silence falls between the two of them, and Roni shivers when a particularly chilly ocean breeze passes through them. The movement doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry, and he smiles gently. “You cold?” When Roni nods, he immediately scoots over a bit. “Yeah? C’mere.”

Roni wastes no time in complying with his request, crawling over to him and making herself comfortable in his lap. He wraps his arms around her, rubbing up and down her arms and kissing softly at her cheeks. “Better?”

Roni lays her head on Harry’s shoulder, letting her eyes de-focus on the ocean. She doesn’t answer him verbally, electing only to nod and just enjoy his warmth.

There are a few minutes of silence between the two lovers, and each time Roni catches sight of the full moon, hanging bright and threatening over their heads, her stomach twists.

“Have I mentioned how badly I’m going to miss you?” Harry chuckles.

Roni can’t help but to giggle. Her eyes burn at the mere thought of more tears falling, but at this point she knows that not much can be done to stop them. “No, I don’t think you have,” she teases.

She tilts her head to kiss at his neck, sucking gently but with completely innocent intentions— until he shivers slightly, his breath audibly hitching.

Roni takes the nonverbal cue, trailing her lips gently and softly up his neck, and taking his earlobe in between her teeth. Harry groans, low in his throat.

“Bunny,” Harry says gently, “you don’t have to. If you don’t want to—“

“Who said I didn’t want to?” She peeks her tongue out from between her lips, rolling it just under this ear now. “Do you want to?”

He doesn’t answer her, he only hums, tilting his head to grant her easier access.

“One more,” she mumbles, angling her body so that she’s facing him more. “Please. Can’t leave you without a proper goodbye.”

Harry, once again, says nothing. He takes her hips in his hands and pulls her further onto his lap, angling her so that she’s straddling him now. He grins up at her, the ocean breeze whipping his curls over his eyes. “God,” he sighs, leaning up to kiss at her neck, “I love you.”

Roni hums, basking in the attention he’s giving her neck and beginning a gentle roll of her hips against his. She turns her head to catch his lips with her own, smiling against the taste of him she loves so much. As he parts his lips, tracing her own with his tongue, it feels different than all the times before. He’s kissing her the exact way she likes, but it’s sad now. Slow, as if he’s taking his time in order to remember every single detail about her lips.

There’s a wordless conversation occuring between the two of them as they lick, slow and gentle, into one another’s mouths. Roni reaches up to cup at Harry’s cheek, mindful of her cold fingertips and giggling to herself when Harry shivers at her touch. He hums, leaning further into her kiss and holding her lower back tenderly in his own.

They stay like this, just kissing and enjoying one another’s warmth, before Harry’s hands begin trailing up her back. He teases his fingertips along her neck, playing with her hair before lifting the cap gently from her head. He allows it to plop down ungracefully in the sand before guiding his hand up fully into her hair.

She can feel his fingers curling around the hair at the base of her neck before he tugs a bit, successfully pulling her head back. She moans when he attaches his lips to her pulse in her throat.

It’s sexy, yes, but he takes his time with it, inhaling her scent as he kisses up her supple skin. Her lashes flutter and she catches a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye; eyes closed, brows furrowed in concentration, as if he wants absolutely nothing to draw his attention away from Roni’s entire being.

Harry is more lost in his thoughts than he intends to be, but he can’t help it. He’s wanting to remember everything about Roni, her taste, her smell, every curve of her jaw and her chest. His hand scratches lovingly down her back before trailing along her sensitive sides and up to her breasts-- so tightly concealed beneath her many layers of warmth, but still so pert and delicious.

“Veronica,” he moans, low in his throat and more of sadness than of pleasure, “I love—“

“Don’t,” Roni says, her eyes burning with moisture. She lowers her head, touching her nose to his in an attempt to raise his face. “Don’t do that. Not right now.” She lets out a shuddering breath, trying to refrain from breaking down. “Please, I can’t—“

“I love you.” He is insistent, wanting her to be sure that his words are true. “I fucking love you.”

“Please,” Roni cries, her voice cracking. “I can’t—“

“We have to—“

“I know but—“

“I fucking love you.”

It’s back and forth for the next few minutes, lips ghosting one another’s and noses brushing— as if breathing one another in and out, as if trying to exist as one person. Roni feels the dampness pooling between her legs, and with every roll of her hips she can feel Harry hardening.

All too soon it becomes quick and hurried, even a bit sloppy, as Roni slips her panties down her legs and Harry works to get himself unbuttoned. It’s far too cold to fully undress themselves, they’re both aware of this, but they can’t seem to move quickly enough. She straddles his cock, and they move so quickly he misses her hole the first time. She giggles, but it’s cut short when Harry attaches his lips to her neck and sucks, guiding himself inside of her gently.

“Fuck, always so tight,” he moans immediately, “holy fuck.”

They take a moment for Roni to adjust before she sinks further down, letting out a sinful moan that echoes one of Harry’s. On any other occasion, the two would be far more mindful of their sounds, considering the fact that they’re in public. But right now it doesn’t matter, especially with the way that Harry sinks his teeth into Roni’s neck, and the way she rolls her hips against his.

Roni gasps when he hits the spongy spot deep inside of her. Her head tilts back as she lets out one of the most pornographic moans she’s ever made. Harry takes this opportunity and hooks his fingers into the neckline of her dress, pulling it down and attaching his lips to the swell of her left breast. He sucks until his teeth meet her skin, and then he bites, causing her to let out a little cry. He’s marking her, and she loves it.

“Harry—“ she breathes, fingers frantically pulling at his hair.

He nips at the red little mark he’s left behind, then licks at it gently to soothe the sting. She hums, tugging at the curls on the base of his neck and shuddering, partly due to the wind and partly due to a particularly delicious thrust.

Lowering her head to rest on Harry’s shoulder, she inhales his scent, shifting her weight a bit so as to not get so easily tired out by her work. He wraps his arms impossibly tighter around her lower back, seemingly trying to get her closer to his body, and Roni groans, loudly, sinking her teeth gently into his shoulder.

She almost misses it when he lets out a soft cry.

In fact, at first she thinks she’s imagining it. But when the movement of his hips slows, and his breathing becomes more ragged than it was before, she stops moving and pulls away to look at his face.

Harry’s eyes are shut, and in the dim firelight she can make out the dampness of his cheeks. His lips are curled into a frown, and he shakes his head the minute he realizes that Roni has noticed. She stops the rolling of her hips and reaches for his face, cupping his cheek in her hand.

He’s sobbing, and he can’t even stop himself.

“Harry,” she says quietly, “Don’t--”

“I’m sorry,” he says, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Veronica.”

Now, Roni feels tears well up in her own eyes as she strokes her thumb along Harry’s cheekbone. “Don’t apologize,”’ she says through a whisper. He doesn’t even hear her as he lets out another quiet sob before speaking again.

“I love you. So so so much. I don’t know if I can do this.”

Roni doesn’t even try to stop her own tears from falling now, and she squirms a bit with Harry still inside of her. “Do what?” she whispers.

Harry shakes his head, still not looking in her eyes. “Live without you. I’m not strong enough to lose you.”

“Harry,” Roni cries, using her hand to lift Harry’s face and forcing him to look at her. “We don’t have a choice.”

He lets out a shaky breath, trying to stabilize his chest. “How can I go on when the person I love more than life isn’t isn’t with me anymore?”

Roni scans his face, feeling at a complete loss for words for the first time this evening. She shakes her head. “I don’t know,” she says through a sob. “But we’re going to have to figure it out.”

“Jesus.” Harry wipes at his eyes again, pulling Roni into him and pressing a few wet kisses to her neck. He lingers for a moment with his lips to her skin, and Roni can physically feel her heart breaking in half.

“I didn’t think this was going to be so unbearable,” Harry whispers. “I knew it would be hard but… fuck.”

“Look at me,” Roni says, pulling away and trying to gently guide Harry’s face up again. She offers him the most reassuring smile she can muster, but somehow it doesn’t help. “It’s going to be okay. Hm? We’re going to be okay.”

Roni cups his cheek yet again, and Harry leans into her affectionate touch with closed eyes. She watches him, a lump in her throat so large she’s feeling nauseous, and the reality of their situation hitting her for the hundredth time this evening.

“We’re going to be okay,” she repeats. “You have to promise me you’ll keep going. Keep trying. Live your life. And maybe… in another lifetime--”

Harry cuts her off then with a kiss, passionate and gentle all at once. He allows his hands to trail down her back. He grips her hips tightly, rolling her against him and groaning low in his throat at the feeling of her walls still around his prick.

She gasps, not at all expecting to feel him as deep as she does, and they share sloppy, hurried kisses as they finish what they’d started.

It’s messy and slow, but it’s deep. They’re both crying as they move together, lips hungrily exploring whatever area of skin they can get to. Roni bites down somewhere on Harry’s neck and he hisses, knowing he’s going to have an ugly mark there when morning comes. Harry grips Roni’s hips so tightly they begin to ache, and yet she still finds herself wishing he would hold her tighter.

Minutes later, Harry cums. Roni doesn’t, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t much feel like an orgasm right now, as strange and as out of character as that seems to her; rather, she just wants to stay like this, with the most intimate part of him tucked into the deepest, most private part of her body. She buries her face in his neck, and he wraps his arms impossibly tighter around her torso.

No words are spoken between the two lovers. No words are necessary, really. They just hold one another, the sound of the crashing waves mirroring their own inner turmoil as they hold one another and cry-- unabashedly and unfiltered.

It feels good, in a strange therapeutic sort of way, to be like this. To be crying this hard together, completely vulnerable both physically and emotionally, and as hard as it is to grasp that these are their last memories together, it lifts the tiniest bit of weight off of both of their hearts.

They aren’t sure how long they’ve been sitting like this when Roni finally makes an effort to move, her sobs quieted now to a few little gasps here and there. Harry instantly misses her warmth the second she lifts off of him, and he reaches for her hand like a little boy.

Roni smiles sadly at him, giggling and offering him a pathetic shrug as if to say, “well, anyway.” She gives his hand a squeeze, running her thumb along the back of it. Her chest flutters as she takes a breath.

“You promise to try and find me?” She doesn’t anticipate her voice coming out as hoarse and as sad as it does.

Harry hates how final this feels, and he shivers-- partly from the cold, but mostly because his body is exhausted from how hard he’s been weeping and how devastated he’s been all day. Seeing Roni like this, looking at him as if he’s her only hope in the world right now, absolutely crushes him.

Truth be told, he’s not feeling optimistic about being able to find her. And if Roni’s honest, neither is she. But the prospect of reuniting some day, sooner rather than later, seems to be the last string of hope that the two can hold on to together. So for both of their sakes, they know they have to put on brave faces.

Harry raises their clasped hands to his lips, and kisses each one of Roni’s knuckles individually-- taking extra care around the mood ring on her finger. She bites her lip, and Harry knows another wave of tears is incoming. He offers her his best smile, as optimistic as he can be, and speaks.

“I promise, sweet girl. I promise.”

---

Harry wakes hours later from a restless and uncomfortable sleep when he feels a stirring beside him. He flutters his lashes open and remembers, all too quickly, the reason he’s here.

Roni sits up, stiff and dazed beside him, staring unwaveringly at the ocean with confused eyes. Harry’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach as he realizes the inevitable— this is it.

He reaches forward to gently touch her arm but quickly decides against it, not wanting to ruin her one chance at getting home. He instead watches her with bated breath, waiting to see what she does.

“Veronica,” he whispers. “You alright, honey?”

She doesn’t respond. In fact, she doesn’t even look at him. She digs her hand into the blanket beneath them to help prop herself up and onto her feet. Harry moves with her, prepared to catch her when she stumbles a bit. He watches her intently, wondering what she’s going to do.

“Darling,” he says slowly, “Veronica… hey—“

She takes a slow step forward, hesitates, then takes another. And another. And then she’s walking towards the freezing cold waves lapping up against the shore. Harry panics. Is this how this is supposed to go?

“Veronica wait!” He speaks more urgently this time, stepping quickly to follow behind her. “Hey, wait a second, honey—”

Roni stumbles, almost in a drunken state not much different from the first time Harry ever saw her. She really is going, and he knows he shouldn’t stop her. But the waves seem violent, and it makes him more anxious than he already is.

“Veronica,” Harry chokes out, realizing now that he’s crying. “Honey, no, no, don’t go-- not like this… not yet… I’m-I’m not--”

“Let her go,” comes a voice, gentle and melodic behind Harry.

He turns around, no longer trying to conceal the tears in his eyes, and is shocked to see Violet, the mysterious and mystical fortune teller, standing there. Despite the cold, all she has wrapped around her dress is a shawl, and she doesn’t even seem fazed.

“She will be okay,” Violet continues, taking a gentle step towards him. “You have to let her go.”

“She’ll drown.” It’s the only thing Harry can think to say, but it’s not what he wants to say at all. He doesn’t really know what he wants to say at all, actually. His thoughts are running a mile a minute and his heart is aching.

Violet smiles knowingly at him. “She will not drown,” she says. “She will go peacefully back to where she belongs.”

Harry sniffs, a salty tear rolling down his cheek and getting caught in the corner of his mouth. “You promise?” He sounds pathetic, his voice thick and cracking, but he doesn’t even care.

Violet nods. “You have my word.”

Harry glances back towards Roni, who is slowly making her way further into the water. His stomach is in knots. All he wants is to run to her. Has he said everything he needed to say? He’s told her how much he loves her, but does she really know? Has he wasted his last day with her?

As if reading his mind, Violet closes the space between the two of them. She raises a comforting and gentle hand to his back, and he turns slowly back to her. “You did everything necessary.” She speaks quietly, looking straight into Harry’s eyes. “You gave her exactly what she needed. She will never forget you as long as she lives.”

Harry’s tears are flowing freely now, and his face is hot. The blanket previously wrapped around him is long forgotten on the sandy shore, but it doesn’t even matter. He welcomes the cold bitterly, and shakes his head as he watches Roni wade into the sea.

“What are you even doing here?” He asks, sounding a bit more angry than intended. “Hm? Have you been watching us?”

Violet remains calm, despite his accusations. “I just figured you might need someone here with you when the time came.” She takes a deep breath. “And I wanted to see the girl off. I’ve taken a liking to her as well.”

The two watch Roni stumble deeper into the ocean, completely unaware of her own actions. Violet hums, low in her throat. “To answer your question though, no. I wasn’t watching you. I just got here.”

“How did you know we’d be here then? And when?” Harry glances back at Roni, who is now up to her waist. She must be freezing, and Harry wants nothing more than to go to her and stop her.

“Was I not the one who told you to do this?” A bitter wind whips through Violet’s hair as she turns to face the sea as well. “I knew I would come up on you two eventually. Besides, this is the exact moment the moon is at her fullest. Of course Roni is going right now.”

Harry let’s out a pathetic and completely unintentional sob, his emotions getting the better of him as a panic attack rises in his stomach. “Fuck,” he says, then with growing intensity, “Fuck!” He kicks the sand, ignoring the resistance it gives him, then turns desperately back to Violet. “Does she know I love her? Does she know—“ He can’t catch his breath, and voice is loud. “Does she know I’m here watching her go? Jesus, I can’t—can’t do this, I- I mean I didn’t think it would be this fucking hard, Violet. Can I stop her? Fucking hell, can I stop her?!”

Violet takes a step towards Harry, who’s jaw is now trembling in synchronicity with his shaking hands. She puts a reassuring and calm hand on his shoulder. “It’s over, Harry,” she says. “You must let her go.”

Harry reaches up, running a hand through his sweaty, messy hair, glancing frantically from Roni—who is in the water up to her mid back now— back to Violet, who now seems worried about him. He lets out a wail, moving like he’s going to run to Roni, but Violet is quicker; wrapping her arms around him and holding him back.

He struggles against her a bit, eventually falling to his knees in the sand. Violet drops with him, gently holding him securely upright while comfortingly scratching at his back. She keeps a watchful eye on Roni; as does Harry, only his vision is nearly completely blurred. He wails, punching a little mound of sand beside his knees and using his free hand to wipe at his eyes. “Goddammit,” he mutters. “Fucking goddammit. This was a mistake.”

“Harry,” Violet says urgently, sounding more human than she has in the entirety of the time Harry has known her. “Listen to me, it wasn’t a mistake. I need you to breathe.”

He looks at Violet desperately, shaking his head. “I should have begged her. I could have made her stay. I fucking could have made her stay, Violet. I shouldn’t--” He gasps for air between sobs, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand. “Fuck, I shouldn’t have let her go.”

“Yes you should have,” Violet reassures him. “This is the right thing. Think of her mother. Think of her life.”

Harry watches Roni, who is in past her neck now, and he tries to swallow down his panic. He watches her sink further and further, knowing in his logical mind that she’s completely safe. He blinks a few tears out of his eyes, his sweaty hair on his forward moving back and forth with each attempt to catch his breath, and then turns to Violet. “I love her, Violet.” His voice is desperate and pathetic, and he hates himself for it.

Violet looks as though even she herself, in all her powerful glory, wants to cry as well. She nods, wiping a tear that has made its way down to Harry’s chin. “I know you do,” she says softly. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

The two friends turn back to the sea, and Harry feels a sinking finality when he realizes he can no longer see Roni’s head. His breathing slows just a tick, and he lets out a shaky breath— realizing for the first time that it’s coming out in a hot cloud around his mouth. “Is she gone?” He asks quietly.

He doesn’t wait for an answer. He knows the answer. His head falls, chin to chest, and he holds his face in his hands.

Violet says nothing, she only holds Harry in his desperation, breathing against him to try and subtly slow his breathing and calm him down. His sobs are heartbreaking, but they’re quieter now; less frantic. He cries until his throat feels thick and raw, and then it becomes somewhat silent. He isn’t sure how long he’s been there, and he almost starts to feel bad for Violet, who just sits there with him, patient as ever.

She doesn’t seem to mind, of course, she just rubs her hand up and down his back and holds him in the most comforting way she can manage.

After what feels like ages, he raises his hot, wet face to look at her. Her face is sad, but comforting. She offers him a faint, sympathetic smile.

“Will you help me?” Harry asks.

Violet cocks her head to the side. “Help you with what, Harry?”

“Look for her. Find a way. I don’t know.”

Violet’s face changes as she considers what he’s asking, taking in a deep breath and taking her time with her answer. She glances out at the ocean, which has somehow grown impossibly more calm since Roni’s disappearance. Finally, after a moment, she hums.

“You have to be prepared for any outcome, Harry.” She speaks sternly, as if to a child. “You don’t know if you have the gift—“

“I have to try.” He cuts her off, shaking his head and speaking through a throat that feels thick and raw. “I have to try.”

Violet scans his face, blinking slowly as she considers what he’s saying. “And are you prepared for what would happen should you fail?”

“I don’t care about that,” he says quickly. “I don’t care. Because what happens if I’m successful? What if I do have the gift? Hm? Then what?”

“I don’t believe it’s that simple, Harry.” Violet sighs. “I don’t get the sense that you have it.”

“But I have to try.” Harry emphasizes his words. “And if you won’t help me, then I’ll find a way myself.”

He rises to his feet and faces the sea, already beginning unbuttoning his shirt as if he’s about to undress and follow his darling Roni. Violet stands just as quickly, making her way over to him.

“Harry, Harry!” she says quickly, reaching forward to stop him. “Stop.”

He turns to Violet, and it’s the first time she notices how puffy his eyes are. She sees how determined he is, how absolutely heartbroken, and it hurts her own heart. She’s never been in love, although she’s helped many people who have been. She does understand connections like this, and although she unfortunately doesn’t get the sense that Harry is someone equipped with the gift of time travel, she knows he’s not going to give up any time soon. Not until he knows for sure.

So she sighs.

“I’ll help you,” she says. “But it’s going to take work.” She rubs his arm comfortingly. “And time. You can’t go right now.”

“But I can go? Eventually?” He looks at her with hope in his eyes, reminiscent of a small child, and it makes Violet feel for him even more.

“I can’t promise you that,” she says. “I wish I could.”

Harry looks out at the sea, one last time, then wraps Violet in his arms. It’s the first time all evening he’s reciprocated her comforting embrace, and he can feel her smile as she hugs him back.

Violet isn’t sure how long she holds him, and she knows he’s still crying by the way his back trembles every now and again. When he finally pulls away, it’s with a thankful smile. He groans and laughs at himself, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “Sorry,” he giggles, “must look a mess.”

“You look fine, darling.” Violet gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before nodding her head towards the setup previously used by him and Roni. “Come along, then. I’ll help you get this cleaned up so you can get home and get yourself a proper night’s sleep.”

---------------

There’s a buzzing in Roni’s ears, and her hands feel as though they’re vibrating. It comes after an intense, icy feeling in her veins, coursing throughout her entire being then fading all at once. She feels out of breath, but her heart is pounding slower than usual.

She’s somewhere between sleep and consciousness, and she recognizes this feeling in the back of her mind. The blackness behind her eyes somehow grows brighter and brighter with each passing second, as colorful memories flash far too quickly for her to make them out individually. At one moment, she’s a child again. At another, she’s at her mother’s funeral. And at another still, she’s graduating high school, waving out to her grandparents and Oliver in the front row. These specific instances don’t evoke any strong feelings in her one way or another, yet somewhere inside they stir something up.

A vision of herself, as an old woman, flashes behind her eyes, and although in her logical brain she knows that she isn’t old yet, she feels as though she’s lived that moment every second of every day.

The memories get brighter and brighter, buzzing loudly in her ear, and her body feels detached from her soul as she’s suddenly surrounded by nothing but white light.

Roni isn’t even sure when she’s opened her eyes, but all of her thoughts have quieted instantly. There is absolutely nothing surrounding her except white. She is completely alone, but it isn’t frightening by any means. In fact it feels rather peaceful. She presses forward, taking a step towards nothing in particular, and her legs feeling strangely weak as they carry her on.

Her heart feels heavy in her chest as she walks, beginning to regain a sense of consciousness while remaining absolutely at peace. She remembers that she’s traveling through time, yes, but why? Where is she going?

Your mind accepts this absolutely. It is 9:30am on June 16th, 1985. You have travelled back in time. Soon, you will open your eyes---

A voice that sounds familiar to her-- is it her own?-- catches her attention, and a memory comes to her mind like an electric shock. June 16th, 1985… what’s significant about that?

-into the hallway of the home you share with your mother, Tanya Rachel Elliot, and you will walk downstairs to find her cooking-

She smells something, distant and faint, but it isn’t the blueberry pancakes she hears the voice describing. Instead, it smells like… a house? A bedroom she’s familiar with. Who’s bedroom?

It comes to her quickly, her mind filling with images of Oliver, her boyfriend, at a New Year’s Eve party. The voice— her own voice— states that it’s 1985. Her conscious mind knows that it’s almost 2000.

Like a slap to the face, Roni remembers Harry. She remembers the first night she met him, when she was cold and disoriented in the streets of New York. She remembers falling in love with him, quicker than anything she’s ever experienced, and then her heart aches at the memory of leaving him. Knowing why she’s here, and how she’s going back to the modern world.

“Roni,” she hears a voice in the distance, soft and feminine and familiar, and Roni turns on her heel in her dreamlike state. She doesn’t see anyone, but she knows she recognizes that voice.

“Veronica,” it comes again, and Roni blinks in the bright light trying to find the source. Her mind is foggy, but she knows the voice. She knows she does, but she can’t quite put her finger on it.

“Veronica, darling.”

Through the fog in her eyes, she makes out a figure— far, far away, but moving towards her somewhat quickly. It’s a familiar outline, even if she can’t see the details of the person’s face. The closer she gets she realizes it’s a woman, and Roni tries to blink her eyes into some clarity.

The closer the woman gets, the more things start to make sense in Roni’s brain. The woman steps into focus, and it hits Roni like a ton of bricks.

“Mom?” She whispers, afraid that if she speaks any louder she’ll ruin any type of illusion.

The woman-- her mother-- nods gently as she comes into clear view, now only a few mere feet away from her. “It’s me, baby.”

Roni takes a moment, hardly daring to move until she can’t take it any longer. She lunges, awkwardly, running to close the gap between them and falling ungracefully into her mother’s arms.

This moment is one that she’s imagined so many times before in her life, yet she never could have dreamt how good it would feel. Her mother wraps her arms around Roni tightly, kissing her head, as Roni bawls like a baby.

“Is it really you?” Roni asks. “Are you really here?”

“I’m here, my sweet girl. I’m right here.”

Roni hardly hears her mother’s words, she just wraps her arms impossibly tighter around the older woman, as if scared that she’ll slip right from her fingers without warning. “Mom,” she sobs, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Oh, baby,” Tanya coos. “I’m with you every day.”

Tanya pulls away slightly, despite Roni’s tugging at her, and wipes Roni’s eyes with her thumbs. “Don’t cry, my love.”

Roni lets out a wet laugh, reaching up to wipe at her snotty nose with the back of her hand. She hasn’t seen her mother in fifteen years, and she knows she must look an absolute mess right now. “Sorry,” she says, “I’m just… I can’t believe it’s you.”

“I know, Peanut.” Tanya smiles a smile that is so absurdly kind; a smile that Roni loved being on the receiving end of throughout her entire childhood. “It feels so wonderful to hold you in my arms again.”

Tanya was never a crier, so Roni suspects she won’t be now in the afterlife either. Still, the look on her face tells Roni all that she needs to know, and it’s beautiful. Roni sighs, leaning into Tanya’s hold on her face and staring at her mother eagerly, as if one blink will send her vanishing away again. She reaches up to place her hand on top of her mothers, and notices Tanya’s attention briefly shift.

Tanya squints, then laughs-- a surprised, tinkling sort of noise-- as she removes her hand from Roni’s face. She takes Roni’s hand in her own then and thumbs at the mood ring on her finger. “You’ve kept my ring!”

“Of course!” Roni feels like an overly excitable little girl again, who’s about to overshare about today’s lesson after school. “Of course I did!”

“It’s pink,” Tanya observes. She smiles warmly. “It was always pink with you.”

“It was mostly pink when I was around you,” Roni says. “Oh god, mom, I have so much to tell you.”

Tanya smiles knowingly. “Tell me. I’m all ears.”

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Roni says, through a wet and tearful laugh. “I guess… I mean, first of all, where the hell am I?”

“Where do you think you are?” Tanya’s eyes sparkle mischievously, but her words only make Roni panic slightly.

“Am I… dead?”

Tanya giggles. “No, my love. You aren’t dead. You’re in the between.”

“The…. between?”

“You have been here before,” Tanya explains. “Between timelines. Between time itself. You passed through here when you first traveled back. Of course, you weren’t quite sure of what you were doing, so it may be a blur in your memory.”

Roni tries her hardest to think back to the night she arrived with Harry. It is a blur, but it comes back to her faintly. Lots of stumbling, lots of white light.

She cocks her head to the side. “Were you there that night? Or… I guess, here?”

“I was,” Tanya says, nodding. “I watched you. I tried to reach out, but whatever it was that was calling to you— a soul tie, a connection, whatever— was much stronger than I. So I did my best to just guide you to it.”

“Oh.” Roni processes her mother’s words, marveling at the fact that her twin flame connection with Harry had been that strong that she hadn’t even been able to stop here and speak to her mother. “I see.”

Tanya smiles that ever knowing smile. “Tell me about them,” she says softly.

“What?”

“The person. Your calling.” Tanya takes Roni’s hand in her own. “They must have done a number on you, baby.”

Roni sighs, unsure of where to even begin, but instantly feeling touched just by looking at her mother’s sweet face. She wants to start crying again, but she refuses to let herself. Her mother stays patient, not pressuring Roni to speak until she’s ready.

And with a deep breath, she launches right into it.

She tells her mother everything; about how she was trying to go back in time to save her, about how Harry had saved her that night, about how she tried to stay strong but ended up falling head over heels for him. It’s difficult recounting everything, especially because it feels so fresh in her own mind, and as hard as she’s working to conceal her tears, she can’t stop them from falling down her cheeks.

And Tanya only listens. Kind and understanding, Tanya listens. She doesn’t interrupt, she only nods every now and then, giving Roni the most sympathetic eyes in the world.

Roni laughs, cries, and every emotion in between as she tells her mother the entire story. And at the end of it, her mother wraps her in a comforting embrace while she tries to get her tears under control.

“My sweet girl,” Tanya coos, scratching Roni’s back comfortingly. “My sweet, brave girl.”

When Roni pulls away, confusion clouds her features. She searches her mother’s face for a wordless answer to a question she has yet to ask.

“Mom?” She says through a shaky breath, “Am I… I mean, did I do the right thing?”

Tanya brushes Roni’s hair off of her face, coming through it lovingly with her fingers. “Do you think you did?”

Roni groans. “God, you sound just like him. I just want to know if I made the right decision, but I have no way of gauging that, you know? Like how do I know?”

Tanya laughs. “To tell you the truth, my love, I really think you did. In fact, I can promise that you did.”

“But... Harry…” Roni trails off in a sigh. “I just want to know that he’ll be okay. You know?”

Tanya nods understandingly. “I know.”

“So is there… I don’t know, like, a way? For you to watch over him? I don’t know how the afterlife works.”

Tanya giggles at Roni’s words. “I’ll check in on him, sweetheart. If that’s what you want.”

“And can you—“ Roni sniffs, willing herself not to start sobbing again. “Can you tell him I love him?”

“You love him?” It isn’t accusatory, and her tone isn’t really all that shocked either. It’s a simple question, but Roni’s insides flip.

“I do,” she says decidedly. “So, so much.”

Tanya’s next question takes Roni by surprise. “And Oliver?”

“You know about Oliver? I didn’t start dating him until after you—“

“I know,” Tanya says calmly. “I’m with you always.”

“Oh.” Roni blows a puff of air out from her lips, reaching up to fidget with her hair. “Well. I love Oliver, but it’s not… I mean…. Harry is…” She trails off, looking helplessly at her mother, as if Tanya will be able to fill in the blanks.

Tanya only smiles. “Your twin flame. I know.”

Roni laughs in disbelief. “It’s weird, huh?” She asks. “How does that even happen?”

“How could you possibly travel back to 1925?” Tanya laughs. “Some things are not meant for us to understand, my darling.” She gives Roni’s shoulder a playful squeeze before continuing. “Anyway. I like Oliver. He’s a good kid. He takes good care of you. But Harry,” she smiles knowingly, “Harry set your soul on fire. This I know for sure.”

“I can’t help but feel like I did the wrong thing,” Roni sighs. “Even though I know I didn’t. I jst couldn’t erase you, you know? And everyone back home that I love—”

“You don’t have to explain yourself. Not to me. You did the right thing.”

Roni sighs, eyes scanning the great white abyss surrounding them as she tries to figure out what on earth to say. “So now what?” She tries after a moment. “Where do I even go from here?”

“Back home,” Tanya says, a comforting hand trailing up Roni’s arm. “To live a long and full life. To grow old, and to have children of your own. To stop living in the past.” The last bit is said more pointedly, and Roni blinks through her misty eyes back at her mother.

“I’m not—“

“Veronica,” Tanya says slowly, “darling, look at all you’ve had. My god, look at all you’ve done.”

“I would trade it all to have you back, mom.” Roni reaches for her mother’s hand and squeezes. “All of it. Every bit.”

Tanya smiles. “I know, sweetheart. I know. But I am gone. You have done everything you could have done to bring me back. It was not in fate's design.”

Roni shakes her head, not wanting to believe her mother’s words but knowing she’s right. “But where do I go?” she repeats, quieter this time.

Tanya takes a big deep breath in through her nose. “I told you. You must go on and do even more incredible things with your life.” She laughs softly through her nose, and if Roni had blinked she’d have missed the moisture forming in her mother’s eyes. “I am so, so proud of who you are, Veronica.”

“I don’t want to go on without you, mom.”

“You will never have to. You never have before. I’m always going to be with you.”

“But now I have to like… go into the world again. The modern world, I mean. Knowing that I’ve seen you again, and that I’ve been in love. Real actual love. How can I just... go back?”

“You don’t have to go back, sweetheart. Not like that. You don’t have to be stuck. Life is far too short to be living it in a way that doesn’t make you happy. Do you understand? Do not let it pass you by.”

“But… but you-- and Harry--”

“Stop living in the past, Peanut. Worrying, and not allowing yourself to move forward, will never add any years to your life. It didn’t mine.”

Roni’s shoulders visibly soften, and she blinks up at her mother. She wants to take in all of her mothers advice, but mostly she just wants to drink in as much of her mother’s presence as possible. “I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, Veronica. More than you know.”

In the distance, Roni begins to hear a soft commotion. She looks around, trying to figure out where on earth the noise could be coming from (considering that there is nothing around her except for a great white nothingness). It starts out dull, a faint buzzing that gradually grows louder. She turns back to her mother, only to be met with a sad smile.

“Our time is almost up here,” Tanya explains, and Roni’s heart begins to swell with panic.

“What? No, I’m not ready—“

“You are ready, dear. You are as ready as you’ll ever be.”

The commotion grows louder, and Roni shakes her head. “But I don’t know what to do!”

“Yes you do.” Tanya nods. “You always have.” She reaches forward and wraps Roni into a tight hug, giving her a squeeze and pressing her lips to her head. “Remember what I told you. I’ll always be with you. So will he.”

“I don’t know what to do!” Roni wails again, her puffy eyes aching with pressure as more tears begin flowing. “I don’t know where to go!”

“The answers will come,” Tanya says, pulling away from Roni slowly. “What is meant to be will be. Some things you cannot change, but what is meant to be will always find a way.”

“Why weren’t you meant to stay with me then?” Roni cries, beginning to struggle to be heard over the buzzing noise of an invisible crowd. “To watch me grow up? To help me through life? Why did you have to go?”

“Everything has a reason,” Tanya says, stepping backwards from Roni. “Some reasons, we are never meant to know.”

“Mom—“

“I love you, Peanut.” Tanya continues to step backwards from Roni, and Roni tries to lunge for her. Her legs, however, feel like molasses, as if she’s suddenly dreaming and she can’t seem to move fast enough to where she needs to be.

“Don’t go yet!” Roni calls. “I’m not ready!”

“You are ready.” Roni can barely hear her mother now, and it seems that the further she steps away from her, the louder the buzzing becomes. “Don’t forget what I’ve told you.”

“But mom—“

In a flash, Tanya seems as far away as she can possibly get. Roni panics, turning around as quickly as her legs will let her, in search for some kind of answer. A door, perhaps, or at least the source of the deafening noise she’s hearing.

She calls for her mother, feeling desperately like a child who’s lost in a supermarket. She feels hot tears rolling down her face, and she defiantly wipes them away with the back of her wrist.

“Mom!”

The noise is ringing in Roni’s ears now, and her body feels fuzzy and foreign as she looks for an answer. She raises her palms to her ears to try and drown the noise out, but she can’t— it’s too deep within her head. “Fuck,” she cries, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Veronica,” comes her mother’s voice, as clear in her head as if it were her own consciousness. “Darling.”

Roni’s chest grows heavy as she wills the noise to stop, please; and all the while images of Harry flash in her head. Her mother’s voice comes again, and is the last thing she hears before everything goes completely black.

“Open your eyes.”

#Harry Styles #Harry #One Direction #Harry Styles fanfiction #Harry fanfiction #One direction fanfiction #fanfiction #Harry Styles AU #Harry AU #One Direction AU #AU #Harry Styles fluff #Harry fluff #One Direction fluff #fluff #Harry Styles smut #Harry smut #One Direction smut #smut

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vcg73 · 3 years ago

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FIC: Kurt Birthday Drabbles

Earlier this week @elledelajoie left a comment on something I wrote all the way back in 2014. I had genuinely forgotten I ever started it, but the original idea was to write 21 Kurt Hummel birthday drabbles. I had written just 7 of them, but after we chatted about it, I decided to go ahead and finish.

If you’re not familiar, a drabble is a scene of exactly 100 words, not counting title headers. Since Chris Colfer and Kurt Hummel’s co-birthday (May 27) is coming up this Thursday, here they are. This goes definite AU at Birthday #19. Because you know I would never sentence my beloved Kurt to a life of being a doormat to people who did not appreciate and value him.

Never underestimate the power of feedback!

~*~*~*~*~

Birthday #1

Kurt’s blue eyes went wide as a frosted cupcake was set upon his high-chair tray, a single candle ablaze on its surface.

When Mommy, Daddy, Uncle Andy, Grandpa Curtis and Grandma Eileen started singing to him, he smiled and clapped both hands hard around the tempting pile of frosting.

Kurt laughed when the sugary topping went flying and a big splatter of white abruptly decorated Daddy’s surprised face.

Everyone else started laughed too, including the startled father, who retaliated by giving his birthday boy a sticky peck on the cheek and then helped him to blow out a new candle.

Birthday #2

Kurt looked between his presents, confused.

Mommy had given him the pretty dolly he had begged for at the store. Daddy had given him a truck, not big enough to ride but too big to live with the little cars Daddy gave him at Christmas.

His parents seemed to be mad at each other.

Kurt looked at the doll, then at the truck. He smiled and placed Dolly inside the truck and began to drive her around the carpet.

Mommy and Daddy seemed surprised by his actions, but then they laughed, and Kurt knew he had figured out the puzzle.

Birthday #3

His shoes were black and shiny, buckles on the sides and 1-inch heels on the base. He clomped over the hardwood floors, listening to the click-tap-click-tap in delight. They went perfectly with his dove gray coveralls with “Kurt” sewn on the pocket in black sequins. Mommy had made the outfit for him.

Spotting Daddy watching him, Kurt threw himself into waiting arms. Daddy’s smile looked like he had an owie but was trying to be a big boy and not cry.

Kurt hugged him. “It’s okay, Daddy.”

Burt looked surprised but hugged him back. “Yeah, buddy. I think it is.”

Birthday #4

Ballet girls were nice. When they heard it was his birthday today, they threw him a party. Kurt puffed up with pleasure when presented with cookies, a sparkly wand and a tiara that read ‘Happy Birthday’ in shiny letters. He was not as fond of the kisses they gave, but four was very grown up, so he screwed up his face and allowed it. The teacher even let him wear the special puffy pink tutu over his little black leotard!

He saw Mommy and Daddy up in the gallery taking pictures, so he waved.

Kurt hoped today would last forever.

Birthday #5

“Can I have cupcakes?”

Kurt’s mother looked up from her book. “I don’t think we have any, sweetheart.”

“Can we have some Thursday? My birthday is the last day of preschool.”

“It is?” she said, looking surprised. “Is it your birthday already?”

He nodded seriously. “Don’t you remember, Mommy? You were there.”

She laughed. “Well, you have me there. What kind of cupcakes would you like, sweetie? And don’t say cheesecake. Those are two completely different kinds of dessert.”

Kurt’s hopeful expression fell. “Oh,” he said, clearly disappointed. Then his face brightened again. “Chocolate?”

She nodded. “That we can do.”

Birthday #6

“Daddy!”

Burt sat up just in time to catch the little body that launched at him. “What’s wrong, slugger?”

“It’s my birthday!”

Grinning despite the way his heart was hammering at the abrupt awakening, Burt asked, “Yeah? I like birthdays. Do I get a present?”

“No,” the boy scoffed. “I get presents!”

Burt squinted at the clock. 3:15am. “Not until morning, you don’t.”

Kurt pouted and tried, “It’s almost morning.”

“Not close enough, kid. C’mere,” Burt pulled him into the warm bed between himself and his wife.

Kurt snuggled down and went right back to sleep.

Burt was less lucky.

Birthday #7

Kids had started treating him funny this year. He was too fancy, too girly, holding hands was weird.

Nobody was coming.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.”

“Am I too late?”

They jumped as a little black girl with pom-pom hair popped out of nowhere.

“I’m Mercedes,” she greeted. “We just moved here. Mom said you would have invited me if you’d known.”

“I’m Kurt.” He smiled. “Do you like tea parties?”

“Is there cake?”

Mrs. Hummel beamed. “Cake, ice cream, and Kool-Aid.”

Kurt shrugged. “Nobody else came.”

She grabbed his hand like she’d known him forever. “More for us! Happy Birthday, Kurt.”

Birthday #8

Kurt took a deep breath, thought for a moment, and carefully blew out the candles. All but the extra one that his parents always put on his cake.

“Aren’t you gonna finish, bud?”

He looked from Daddy over to his mother, home again, but so frail he was sometimes afraid to hug her, worried she might pop like a fragile soap bubble. He offered her the candle. “Here, Mommy. Blow it out. Maybe you’ll get another year to grow on.”

The eyes of the two adults met, then Mommy nodded. The three of them blew out the final candle together.

Birthday #9

Barely daring to hope, Kurt came down the stairs. Birthday cakes and presents had been Mommy’s specialty. Daddy had forgotten his own birthday and had nearly forgotten Christmas.

Kurt gasped when he saw it, waiting, shining and spectacular against the front door.

“A bike!”

Bright green, sissy bars with foil streamers, and a banana seat. Perfect!

Burt smiled. He had scoffed a such a “girly” bike when Kurt spotted it at the toy store. But now, looking at the all-too-rare joy in his son’s eyes and feeling the approving smile his wife would have given, he nodded. It was perfect.

Birthday #10

Buying gifts was tough when your kid always clammed up on you. A dad had to be observant.

Ten years old. A landmark like that needed something special, but the only thing Kurt seemed into was clothes. He had enough of those for ten kids.

He’d probably like a Barbie he could change in and out of different outfits, but Burt cringed at the thought.

He did doodle pretty good though. Sure, it was mostly pictures of clothes, but that was a start.

A fancy sketchpad with a case and a hundred different colored pencils. Yeah, that was the ticket.

Birthday #11

“Dad, where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

Kurt sighed with exaggerated impatience. He had come home from school to find Dad waiting at the truck, ordering him to get in, then not saying another word. The suspense was killing him.

“Ta-Dahhhh!”

They had pulled up in front of a nondescript brick building. “Columbus Culinary Arts?”

“You like to cook right? Well, we’re gonna fix your birthday dinner this year with the help of a real chef. Lessons are once a week for the next couple months.”

Gourmet cooking lessons!

“Oh wow. Dad, this is amazing!”

Burt grinned. “Happy Birthday, kid.”

Birthday #12

Last year’s surprise had gone so well that Burt had decided on a repeat. But when he saw the excitement on Kurt’s face at finding a pair of tickets inside his birthday card turn to disappointment and horror, quickly masked with a fake smile, he knew he’d goofed.

“I know baseball isn’t your thing,” he said, almost pleading. “But you’ve never seen a live game before. It’s a whole different experience. It’s a home game. We can yell and scream, and cheer our team on with thousands of other fans.”

The stiff not-smile never wavered. “Sounds . . . fun.”

Birthday #13

Dad had bought out one of the partners at the garage this spring and now owned a majority share of the renamed “Hummel Tires & Lube”. Kurt wanted to snicker at that name, but he was proud too.

His birthday this year coincided with Friday Night Dinner. Dad had invited all the mechanics over for a potluck. They’d had Mary’s special fried chicken, Cassius’s homemade cornbread, and Davy’s mac’n’cheese. Now Dad brought out the cake.

Kurt laughed. A sheet-cake with a tow-truck and two little plastic mechanics for decoration.

“You and me kid. Partners.”

The mechanics cheered and everybody dug in.

Birthday #14

Kurt froze when he saw tickets peeping out of his card. Not again. Noise, sunburn, unhealthy food, tacky uniforms, and Dad trying so hard to make a boring sport seem like fun.

He sighed and pasted on a smile, which quickly transformed into shock.

“Wicked?” he squeaked, staring hard at the little papers as if the printing might change if he dared to look away.

“Embassy Theater is giving regional business owners a discount this year,” Burt said apologetically. “It’s just a traveling production, not real Broadway, but I …”

His apology was cut off by a joyful teenaged hug.

Birthday #15

“Don’t worry, son, you got this. Just remember everything I taught you. You got a whole year to get ready for the practical test.”

“I know.”

“And it’s okay if you don’t get it right the first time. Not everybody does.”

“I’m fine, Dad.”

“I’ll be right here waiting for you when you’re through.”

“I know that, Dad. I’ll be okay, really.”

At that moment, Kurt’s name was called and he sprang from his hard green plastic chair. His dad’s repeated reassurances were making him jumpy.

Twenty minutes later, a brightly grinning Kurt was waving his freshly minted driver’s permit.

Birthday #16

Burt patted the giant blue bow the dealership had provided over the hood of the shining black Lincoln Navigator.

Kurt was gonna flip! He’d passed his DMV test with flying colors and was no doubt showing off his shiny new license to all his friends at school.

He paused. Did Kurt have any friends to share this accomplishment with? He always seemed so alone.

Maybe that’s why he had decided to spoil his son with a huge birthday gift.

It wasn’t right for such a good kid to be all alone. Maybe having his own ride would help change that.

Birthday #17

A dozen teens gathered in Kurt’s basement to celebrate the end-of-school, non-disbanding of Glee, and Kurt’s birthday, all in one.

“Not like ten years ago,” Mercedes said to Kurt, as they watched Mike and Brittany dance.

“Ten years?”

“Your seventh? It was just you, me, your mom, and lots of chocolate cake.”

Kurt was astounded. “That was you?”

“You forgot?”

“I remember a little girl who showed up and invited herself to my party.”

“And I remember a little boy who needed a friend as much as I did.”

He squeezed her hand. “Thanks for coming.”

She squeezed back. “Always.”

Birthday #18

Kurt stared at his birthday cake, unable to think of anything to wish for.

He was 18-years-old today, a legal adult. He had new family in Carole and Finn, his dad was on the mend, he would be back at McKinley for senior year, he had made his first visit to New York City, and he had a boyfriend! One who had just told Kurt that he loved him for the very first time.

‘I wish for next year to be as good as this,” he thought, taking a deep breath and blowing.

The flames flickered out, all except one.

Birthday #19

Senior year had been a disaster, and now he had not gotten into NYADA, despite his well-praised audition.

“Blaine wants me to spend another year here,” he whispered. “I just can’t.”

Burt’s callused hand squeezed his neck. “Then don’t. You’re 19 now, a man. You got talents galore, work experience from the garage, enough drive for ten kids, and your mom’s life insurance money to give you a start.”

“But…”

“No buts,” Burt said firmly. “You go on to New York and grab life by the balls.”

Kurt felt his optimism rise. “Help me look for apartments?”

“You got it.”

Birthday #20

What a difference a year made.

He’d dumped Blaine after being cheated on less than a month after leaving Lima. He was enrolled at FIT and sharing a shoebox apartment with a fellow design student and a Broadway hopeful, but both were young gay men from small towns, and they had a lot in common.

“Happy Birthday!” Elliott shouted, tossing a handful of glittery sequins at him.

Adam came in playing the birthday song on a kazoo he had gotten from who-knows-where. “Ready for Callbacks? $20 on who gets the first hot guy’s number!”

“I already have yours. I win!”

Birthday #21

“I have the honor of presenting your first official grown-up drink,” Adam said, smiling lovingly at his grinning boyfriend of nearly a year. He set down a martini glass with a cherry floating on top. “A Manhattan seemed appropriate.”

Kurt beamed and gave him a kiss, then took an experimental sip. “I’ve had alcohol before,” he admitted. “Mostly wine, though. Mm, this is good!”

“I thought you’d like it. Happy Birthday, my love. May the future bring every good thing you wish for, and never more heartache than you can handle.”

Kurt could not have asked for a better sentiment.

THE END

#birthday drabbles #Kurt and Burt #Kurt and Mercedes #Kurt and Adam

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hallowxiu · 4 years ago

Text

Three Minutes (Part 1)

pairing: diavolo/gn!mc

word count: 3.2k

summary: You want a unique gift for the future King of the Devildom. Who else would be brave enough to give Lord Diavolo pick up lines if not you?

a/n: part 11 of the mc isn’t good at pick up lines series. also this ties in a teenie tiny bit with the current halloween/birthday diavolo event that’s going on. enjoy!

part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten

A yawn leaves your lips as you once again find yourself sitting in for a council meeting. You aren’t sure why you’re constantly being forced to tag along to these stupid meetings-- last you checked you weren’t even a council member. Yet, Lucifer is always insisting (more like forcing) that you come along. If you had it your way, you’d be at home taking the fattest nap of your life right now. A nap so good that even Belphie would be impressed.

And with that, another yawn leaves your lips. Someone clears their throat, and you look up to find your gaze falling onto Lord Diavolo. Oh shit, you’ve totally been caught zoning out. Lucifer is definitely going to kill you later for making him look bad. You hear your name fall from Lord Diavolo’s lips and a blush settles across your cheeks gracefully. “Had I known you were so tired today, I would have suggested the meeting be held tomorrow instead.” Now you’re blushing out of embarrassment. And terror, when you eventually look over at Lucifer. Yeah, definitely not happy.

“Wha-- of course not. I’m not tired,” maybe you should have tried harder at covering up your yawns, “just, uh,” just what? Bored? Yeah, no, that would make it worse. “I’m so excited that I keep yawning. It’s a human thing; you’ve never heard about it?” To yawn while excited? It was most definitely not a human thing, but could any of the brothers really call your bluff? Probably.

“Really?” There’s a look of surprise on Diavolo’s face, and it makes you feel just the slightest bit hopeful that he believed your lie. Lucifer looks unimpressed, however, which means he didn’t. Can’t win them all.

“Yes. It happens to me a lot. If I get really excited, I just yawn. I yawn a lot. In general, many things to be excited over.” You’re sinking into your chair as you feel Lucifer’s glare become stronger and stronger with each passing second.

“And tell me,” Lucifer says your name with barely hidden frustration, “what are you excited over?”

Shit. You should have known that Lucifer would quiz you on this. “Well,” there’s a terrified smile on your lips and the brothers are giving you curious looks, “that’s a great question. What isn’t there to be excited over?” You knew that wouldn’t fly at all. You needed to think of something. It’s as if a tiny lightbulb goes off over your head, a wide smile lighting up your features. “Why, Lord Diavolo’s birthday is coming up, right? I think that’s quite exciting! And Halloween! My personal favorite holiday, although I’m not really sure if you guys celebrate it here, but I’m still excited for it nonetheless.” This time Lucifer’s the one wearing shock on his expression, though he decides not to push the topic. You knew he wouldn’t; he wouldn’t be willing to grill you over Lord Diavolo while in the presence of the Demon Prince himself. You had never been more grateful to Satan, as he was the one who informed you of the upcoming birthday only a few days prior.

“That’s actually what this meeting was called for today.” There’s a sheepish smile on Lord Diavolo’s lips as he speaks. “We don’t necessarily celebrate Halloween in the Devildom, but my birthday does fall upon the human holiday, so we do end up celebrating the week of. It’s just slightly different.” You’re thanking every god in the skies right now for pulling you through that alive. “I only called the meeting to see if everyone was okay with the festivities that will be taking place next week.”

“Of course, Lord Diavolo. Leave everything to us, we’ll have everything planned.” There’s a tight smile on Lucifer’s lips, one that suggests that you should probably avoid the oldest brother for the remainder of the day.

🎃🎃🎃

You sat through another two meetings in the last couple of days, all of which were Lucifer and the brothers going over every last detail for Lord Diavolo’s birthday celebration. Your role, similar to Lucifer’s, was to help each brother whenever requested. Which sounded easy enough at first as you didn’t share the entire weight of their responsibilities, however, that was until all the brothers were calling you non stop because they wanted to spend time with you. While cute at first, you were starting to get annoyed.

Couldn’t they see that you had things to do too? You were already on thin ice with Lucifer since the first council meeting (the eldest even going as far to harass you each morning about getting enough sleep, should you yawn during another meeting). On top of that, you were cooking up some pick up lines for Lord Diavolo. A birthday is a special occasion, it’s another year you’re alive, which is special, right? Even if the person celebrating the birthday has been alive for thousands of years.

You’re currently deciding on what method of delivery you should do. Should you write a shit ton of pick up lines on a homemade card and give it to him? Or should you tell them to him in person? Each method had their own list of pros and cons. For example, the pro of the card would be that Lucifer wouldn’t know, and therefore he wouldn’t kill you for possibly disrespecting the future Devildom King. However, the pros for telling him in person involved seeing his reaction and his response to each one, which was a little more tempting. Another question; should you do it when he’s alone, or when he’s at his party? Could you even get Lord Diavolo alone? You nearly fell apart when you got Barbatos alone, and he’s only Diavolo’s butler.

You flop back onto your cushioned bed, staring at the ceiling above you. You watch as the blades of your ceiling fan lazily spin in circles as your mind works up the perfect birthday plan. Yes, you couldn’t just make a fool of yourself, the stakes are a bit higher this time. This wouldn’t be the same as giving one of the brothers a pick up line. Maybe you should just…

You spring out of bed the second the idea hits you. You had the perfect idea. Why not just text him a pick up line each day of the week leading up to his birthday. This way you wouldn’t have to risk Lucifer overhearing it and you wouldn’t have to worry about cornering the man. Yes, this was perfect.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Your face turns to a scowl while Mammon spins in circles while in your desk chair. “Ya do realize this is Lord Diavolo, right? We don’t know how he’ll react to this.”

“And while that’s completely fair of you to think that,” you were too busy looking up pick up lines on your D.D.D to care about the outcome, “I know no one else is brave enough to do something like this. Come on, it’ll be great. A present he’s never received before.”

“Ya sure do have an interestin’ way of reasonin’.” Mammon knew it was pointless to argue with you. “But don’t come cryin’ to me when Lucifer catches wind of this. Your funeral, not mine. Make sure ya stress to him that I had nothin’ to do with this.”

🎃🎃🎃

MC:

Lord Diavolo, your birthday is in a few days, right???

Lord Diavolo:

Yup!

Why do you ask?

MC:

I have a unique gift idea for you!

But uh

Don’t tell Lucifer

Please

Lord Diavolo:

Oh my.

Could it be? Are you taking me out to AkuDonald’s?

MC:

what

Lord Diavolo:

Don’t worry, MC!

I will keep this our little secret! Lucifer won’t find out. :)

MC:

No, wait.

That wasn’t it.

I mean, I can take you to AkuDonald’s too if you want. I don’t mind.

Lord Diavolo:

It wasn’t?

Well, I hope you’re still willing to take me because now I really want some.

MC:

Is it really okay for the future King to go out like that?

That doesn’t matter. Gift idea.

Are you ready?

Lord Diavolo:

Am I ready?

Are you doing it right now?

MC:

You’re gonna be hotter than the flames on your birthday candles.

Lord Diavolo:

What?

MC:

I broke him.

Anyway, this is just the first of MANY. Okay???

You’re gonna get a wicked birthday pick up line every day until your birthday.

Which is only in two days.

So it looks like you’ll be getting many a day.

My planning wasn’t great; I was a little late coming up with the idea.

But it’s the thought that counts, right?

Lord Diavolo:

I’m not sure what to say…

MC:

I’ll give you one more as a parting gift.

Hey.

Lord Diavolo:

H-Hey??

MC:

I bet you’re sweeter than any birthday cake.

Lord Diavolo:

WHAT

WHAT?

MC, WHAT?

🎃🎃🎃

“Wow.” Is all that comes from Mammon as he reads through your texts. “You’re so fuckin’ dead.”

“What?” You look at the white haired demon with a frown. “But I promised him AkuDonald’s.”

Mammon shoots you a quizzical look. “As if that even matters.” A snort leaves him as he rereads the messages. “It is pretty funny though. I can only imagine how red his face was when he realized what you were doin’. And then ya left him on read! You made him text stutter and then left him on read! As if you weren’t already taking a gamble. Sheesh, what am I supposed to do with ya? Like, seriously-- who leaves the future King on read?” Before you open your mouth to comment, Mammon cuts you off. “And I can’t believe ya told him that you broke him. Ya aren’t supposed to say that to him.”

You sheepishly scratch the back of your neck. “I mean, he didn’t seem to mind that much. Hopefully. I mean, I’ll take the execution if that’s what he wants.” Mammon shoots you another quizzical look, though this time he opts to stay quiet. “The next one I’m sending is tomorrow. I didn’t have a lot up my sleeve, so if I plan it right I should have just enough leading up to his birthday. Do you want to see?”

He leans over to view the pick up lines you had saved on your phone. He presses his lips into a thin line as he reads over them. “Some of these are… brave. What are ya expectin’ to get out of that last one?”

“What do you mean?” You ask with a raised eyebrow.

“Ya really want to tell him a line like that? And ya seriously expect nothin’?”

“I figured I should go all in if I’m going to be giving them to Lord Diavolo. Besides, it’s not like anything will happen, Mammon.”

“Give what to Lord Diavolo?” A chill runs up your spine when the voice meets your ears. How was it that Lucifer scared you more than the actual crowned prince of the Devildom?

“L-Lucifer.” You turn to face the demon with a shaky smile. “Mammon and I were just talking about gift ideas. It seems that no one has thought of anything yet, so we were just throwing ideas around. Nothing serious.”

“You’re a bad liar.” Lucifer deadpans. “But I have a headache, so I’m not going to press you further. Mostly because I’m not sure I can handle whatever it is that you’ll end up telling me.” He pinches the bridge of his nose as he leans against your doorframe. “I just came to let the two of you know that dinner is ready. Come down now, I won’t be stopping Beelzebub from eating your food.”

🎃🎃🎃

MC:

Did you miss me?

Lord Diavolo:

You’re going to give me a heart attack.

MC:

What? Why?

Don’t do that.

I’d get in a lot of trouble with Lucifer for that.

Lord Diavolo:

Are you really going to send me a pick up line each day until my birthday?

MC:

Yup!

Because I know for FACT that no one else is doing this.

Right??

MC:

Diavolo

*Lord Diavolo

Crap, don’t tell Lucifer I forgot the Lord.

MC:

Wait. Answer me.

Is someone else doing this????

Or are you telling Lucifer that I forgot the Lord?

MC:

Omg.

It’s Lucifer, isn’t it?

Fuck.

What would a pick up line from him even be like?

Wait

Can you tell me?

I promise I won’t tell anyone. Except maybe Mammon.

He reads through my texts a lot.

Don’t ask me why.

Lord Diavolo:

I--

Sorry, Barbatos needed me for something.

Did you just have a crisis?

Over me not answering?

LOL

MC:

Lord Diavolo, I need to know.

Is Lucifer doing this too?

Also I need to know if you told Lucifer about me dropping the Lord.

Lord Diavolo:

No, I didn’t tell him haha.

And why would Lucifer send me something like pick up lines?

MC:

Anyway. Are you ready?

I’m sending it anyway.

MC:

You’re so beautiful, you made me forget my bad pick up line.

Lord Diavolo:

You think I’m pretty?

I knew having that sticker made of me in the dress was smart.

MC:

o ,,,,

MC:

Is that the sun coming up, or is that just the birthday boy shining?

Lord Diavolo:

Oh wait, that one was cute.

MC:

I’m glad!

Tomorrow is your birthday, and naturally I only have one left.

So I suppose I’ll give it to you at your party tomorrow.

Don’t let Lucifer find out.

Contrary to popular belief, I do value my life somewhat.

🎃🎃🎃

“He said he liked it?” Mammon asks with disbelief lacing his tone. “I really thought I had seen everythin’ up until this point, but ya keep provin’ me wrong.” The two of you are crammed together at one of the many booth’s taking up the ballroom of Lord Diavolo’s castle. Everything was set up, and now you and the guests only had to wait for the birthday boy himself to arrive.

“The birthday boy has to be fashionably late. It’s like, law.” Asmodeus had said to you only minutes prior. Law of what? You weren’t sure and he didn’t specify.

“I know. I was surprised he liked them too. The first one was kind of lame, but he seemed pleased nonetheless.” If you have to admit, you’re feeling pretty smug with yourself right now. I mean seriously, pulling off pick up lines with Lord Diavolo? That has to be some kind of accomplishment, right?

“You didn’t give him the scandalous one though. Don’t tell me…” You see a look of horror form on Mammon’s face. “Ya don’t plan on tellin’ him that one in person, do ya?” You only respond with a cheeky wink. “Oh, no.” He buries his face in his hands at the thought of his favorite human dying at the hands of his older brother. What a dilemma indeed.

“Oh, yes. I already told him I’d be giving him the last one today anyway, so it’s not like he’ll be surprised. I just…” A devilish smirk appears on your lips and Mammon decides he doesn’t like it one bit. “Do me a favor?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Mammon, come on.”

“No way.”

“Please?”

“Wha-- no! Don’t give me that look! I told ya a million times that the puppy dog look doesn’t work on me!” Except that it totally does. “Okay, fine.” His face beet red with his arms crossed over his chest, he turns around in his chair so that he’s facing away from you. “What is this favor?” He already knew what it was.

“I need you to distract Lucifer for me so I can get Lord Diavolo alone.” Mammon lets out the loudest whine of his life before slamming his head onto the table. A nervous laugh leaves you when several of the guests (Lucifer included) turn to look at the two of you. “Mammon, please don’t make a scene.” You say through a forced smile.

“I’m sorry, you get to ask me to throw my life on the line so you can give Lord Diavolo a shitty pick up line, and I’m not even allowed to complain? Did I get that right?”

“Yup.” The cheeky smile is back on your face. “Seriously though, do you think you can distract him?”

“I mean, probably. I don’t know for how long though.” Mammon’s eyeing Lucifer from where he sits, watching the black haired male converse with some of Diavolo’s well known acquaintances. “He might get suspicious the moment I start walkin’ over to him.”

“Just make sure your hands aren’t in your pockets so he can’t accuse you of stealing anything.”

“You make it sound a lot easier than it actually is.”

“I only need five minutes.” You cringe slightly when seeing the exasperated look on Mammon’s face. “Okay, maybe not even that! Three minutes; can you give me three minutes?” Mammon’s quiet for a while, the demon staring down at his hands while thinking over the entire thing.

“Alright, I can probably get ya three minutes alone with Lord Diavolo. I’m serious though, I don’t know if I can promise ya any longer.” You rest your chin on the palms of your hands while looking forward thoughtfully. That’s fine, you tell yourself. You’ll only need three minutes.

You watch as Mammon practically glues himself to Lucifer’s side the moment Lord Diavolo finished his mini birthday speech. It was definitely suspicious, but you also didn’t give Mammon specific instructions, and he was doing this for free, so you really couldn’t complain. You watch as Lucifer tries to pry himself away from Mammon, and you watch as Diavolo catches your eye and walks over to you with a wide smile as he calls out your name. “I’m glad you could make it tonight!” As if I’d be allowed to miss your birthday party, a voice in the back of your mind mutters.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You respond with a smile. “Are you ready for your last pick up line?” A wave of excitement washes over you as you rock on the backs of your heels.

“Of course. I’ve been looking forward to it all day! I can hardly wait to see what you’ve come up with.” His smile is almost blinding and you can feel your cheeks heat up. Was everyone in the Devildom this attractive? It wasn’t fair.

“Well,” you have to get this perfect, although you aren’t entirely sure why, “I noticed you had already had some of your cake.” You knew this because Asmodeus had practically sobbed over how beautiful the cake was, and Beelzebub had almost committed murder while trying to hold himself back from devouring it.

“I did, yes. You also had some.” That too.

“Well, I was wondering if your lips are sweeter than the icing on this cake, because they sure look like it. Better let me taste first and confirm.” You smile widely as you stare at Lord Diavolo. You’re extremely proud of that one and while you aren’t sure why, you had been saving it for last. You wonder if Lord Diavolo also thought it was as cool as you had. Your smile starts to fade when you feel a pair of warm and soft lips pressed against yours, a sea of gasps (and someone choking-- was that Mammon or Lucifer?) echoing around you.

Oh.

You see your mistake now.

#shall we date obey me #obey me x mc #diavolo #lord diavolo #lord diavolo x mc #diavolo x mc #lord diavolo x reader #diavolo x reader #diavolo one shot #lord diavolo one shot #obey me #shall we date #obey me one shot #obey me drabble #drabble #drabbles #happy halloween???#not really lmao #but it is for his birthday so i mean

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goldenmaybank · 4 years ago

Text

meant to be

(not my gif)

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: y/n has been in love with her best friend, jj maybank, for years and now has to watch him fall in love with another girl, who is a kook.

warnings: swearing and slight angst (?)

word count: 4k (it’s a long one)

a/n: hi! this is my first imagine and i hope you like it. i know it’s a long one i just got carried away :)

2 years. 730 days. 17520 hours. 1051200 minutes.

that's how long i've had to watch the guy i'm in love with be with another girl. two long years of seeing them kiss, hold hands, cuddle, go on dates and anniversaries. all because i was too scared to tell my best friend that i loved him.

two years ago

" yo, y/n ! y/n ! guess what just happened." my best friend since we were kids, jj, said as he ran up to me.

"what?"

"you remember that girl, shay, that i was telling you about? that kook that i met at the kegger last weekend with the long blonde hair, green eyes, slim waist, and fat as-"

"yes, yes. jj i remember." i said cutting him off from finishing his sentence.

"so, i just asked her out and guess what? she said yes!" he said with the biggest smile on his face.

"okay."

"okay? that's all i get? an okay? y/n, this is the hottest kook i’ve ever seen that we're talking about here."

"yeah and last week kate was the hottest kook and the week before that was penelope. this is nothing new j. it's just another pretty girl with big boobs and a nice ass that you'll mess around with for a few weeks maybe even days and then move onto the next girl."

"no y/n, this time is different. it feels different."

"mhm sure" i say not convinced

this is what jj does. he meets a cute kook girl or touron at one our parties, they hook up for a few days or weeks, and he moves onto to the next one. this was no different. however, in that moment, i didn't realize how serious he really was about her until it was too late.

few months after

jj and i were laying on john b’s couch watching movies like we always do every friday night. we've been doing this since we were little kids, usually the rest of the pogues would join us, but they’re all busy tonight. john b is with sarah, kie is working, and pope is helping out his dad. so that just leaves me and jj together.

"um, y/n?"

"hm?" i asked in response

"would you mind if i ended our movie night a little bit early?"

"why?"

"because shay just got off work early tonight and wants to hang out. she's been really busy lately, so we haven't gotten the chance to hang out as much. would you be okay if i left to go see her?”

"um, sure. i guess i can just rewatch friday the 13th again without you."

"really? you're the best! thanks." he said jumping up excitedly to put on his shoes and grab his hoodie, " i mean it's not like we haven't watched this a thousand times already, you'll be fine without me."

"i kinda wanted you here, but i guess she's more important" i mumbled under my breath

"huh?"

"n-nothing. uh, j can i ask you something before you go?"

"yeah sure, but it can't take too long shay is waiting for me."

"are you serious about her? like really serious?"

"yeah, i guess i am. i don't know i've never really felt this way about a girl before. she just makes me feel so happy and i always want to be around her and spend time with her. i usually just get bored with girls after a while and break up with them, but it's different with her. it's something about her i can't explain it." he said with admiration in his eyes.

that's when i knew it was too late. i could see the way his eyes lit up when i mentioned her and how he talked about her with such admiration. he was head over heels for this girl and who am i to step in and ruin it by telling him my feelings. he wouldn't reciprocate those feelings anyways she's the only girl he's felt like this about. i never had a chance against her. i will never be her.

after that day i didn’t see jj for three weeks. he cancelled every single one our plans because of her. “i cant go surfing today, shay wants to go get lunch” “can’t go fishing, shay needs me” “cant make it to the boneyard tonight, shay wants to have a movie night” he bailed on us, on me, all week because of her. the kook girl he just met a few months ago.

finally, after countless begging and excuses jj came to hang out with us at john b’s house. we were all laying on the hammocks outside watching the sunset and for a minute it felt like everything was how it used to be even though i knew it wasn't. you could feel that everything was different especially between me and jj. he wasn't his usual flirty, touchy self with me and the tension in the air was thick. the rest of the pogues tried to act like everything was normal, but we all knew after today it would be another few weeks before we saw jj again. all he did was hang out with shay and he barely had any time for us anymore.

“so, jj since when did you start dating kooks?” john b snickered as jj punched his arm

“since when did you start dating at all?” pope replied

“i don’t know, man. it’s just different with her, i guess. i never thought i could be capable enough to have a relationship, but she changed that. she changed me.”

kie looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. she was the only one who knew about my love for jj. i spent so many nights crying to her about my feelings for him and how i wish things could be different between us. it took a lot to get jj to open up to me, especially about his dad, and i always wanted to be the one he could go to for anything. i was the one who patched him up after a fight with rafe, i was the one who hugged him as he cried to me about his dad, i was the one who went along with his crazy ideas, i was one who did everything i could to get him to love me the way i love him. but i guess things don’t work out the way you want them to. i give kie and a nod and smile letting her know i’m okay. as long as jj is happy that’s all that matters to me. i would do anything to make him happy, even if it means i have to watch him fall in love with another girl.

present

6 years. 2190 days. 52560 hours. 3153600 minutes.

that's how long the love of my life has been with his girlfriend. six long years of me trying to get over him and find someone else yet i could never get that boy with blonde hair and blue eyes out of my mind. he followed me everywhere i went even when i wasn't with him. he's everything i want in a guy yet i can't have him because he's not mine to have. he's someone else's and now i definitely can't do anything about it because they're getting married today.

today is their wedding and of course they invited me and the rest of the pogues. i debated even going and just letting kie give them my present with my pathetic excuse for why i wasn't there, but after talking to jj about the wedding the other day i couldn’t not go. "i could never have my wedding without you there, y/n. you're one of the most important people in my life." is what he told me. if i was strong i wouldn't care and still not go, but i'm not. all i had to do was look in his eyes when he told me that and i was puddy in his hands. there's no way i can't go and let him down like that. he means way too much to me to hurt him just to spare my own feelings.

i walked into the venue looking around at the setup. of course the kook princess wanted a fairy-tale wedding. i sigh as i look at all the expensive decorations everywhere. i always imagined what my wedding with jj would be like. definitely wouldn’t look anything like this. even after years of all my hard work and schooling i still could never afford something like this. i always thought we’d have our ceremony by the beach since that’s where we first met when we were little kids and spent all our time together. it became our little safe space to get away from everyone and all our problems, and just be together. just me and jj.

“gotta admit it looks beautiful.” pope says as kie hits his shoulder

“it’s okay, kie. he’s right, it is beautiful. more than i could've ever given him.”

“hey” kie says as she grabs my hand, “you sure you’re okay? because we can leave right now. trust me, i really don’t care to see the little princess wearing a dress that costs ten times the amount of my house.”

“it’s fine, kie. we have to be here for him. i’m just gonna go talk to jj quickly.”

“okay, i’ll save a seat for you.”

i went towards the back to find where jj is, so i could give him something before the ceremony started.

"knock knock." i say as i opened the door to jj’s room walking in to see him finishing getting ready.

"hey you. i almost thought you weren't gonna come."

"now why would i miss my best friend getting married to the girl of his dreams? i would never miss this no matter what"

"good because i know i would never be able to do this without you here."

"so.." i say as i sit down next to him, "how does it feel to finally be getting married?”

"it feels unreal. i never thought this day would come. and if it did, i honestly thought you would be the one standing at the end of the aisle"

"yeah, so did i" i say as i laugh weakly.

"i remember we had this whole thing planned out as kids. we were gonna get married on the beach, preferably the bahamas, but you know any beach would’ve worked for us.

"and we were gonna have this huge reception and have our friends give sappy speeches talking about how we've been friends forever and despite the “no pogue on pogue macking” rule we still ended up together and got married." i added.

"and our honeymoon was gonna be in mykonos. we were gonna get a suite with a pool and relax all day and then turn up at night at the clubs there." he said as we both laughed.

"wow. we had a lot of plans when we were younger."

"we really did, but i guess none of them really worked out huh?"

"i guess not"

we sat in silence for a moment thoughts both roaming our minds about how we ended up here. best friends since we were little, spent all our time together, always acted like a couple, and yet here we are sitting in this room minutes before he gets married to a girl who isn't me, a kook nonetheless. it's now or never. do i let him know how i feel and finally have this weight lifted off my shoulders or just keep it to myself and let them be happy?

"uh, j? i- um, wrote this letter for you" i say as i take an envelope out of my purse, "it was the original speech that i wanted to tell you at the reception later but felt as though it wouldn't have been right to say, so i just wrote it for you to see. just, don't open it in front of shay, please."

"why can't you just tell me what's in the letter in your speech later?"

"because i would be a shit person if i say what's in that letter at your wedding reception in front of everyone."

"what's in the letter that's so bad?" he asked confusingly

"j-just read it when you're alone, okay?"

"no"

"no?"

"no. just tell me now what's in the letter."

"jj, i-i can't."

"yes you can. what's so bad that you can't tell me now?"

"i don't want to overstep my boundaries or ruin anything or make anything awkward, so just read it later when you're alone."

"no, y/n. tell me right now."

"jj, your wedding starts in a few minutes you need to finish getting ready. we don't have time for this."

"yes we do. i always have time for you."

"jj-"

"no. i'm not leaving this room until you tell me."

"j, don't be difficult."

"i'm not being difficult just read me the letter and this will all be done with"

i sighed, "oh my god fine. i'll read you the damn thing." i take a deep breath and begin to read the letter that might just change everything between us.

"dear jj, i'm not sure when exactly you'll be reading this, but i know when you do you'll be happily married to shay. so, congratulations best friend you're finally someone's husband. i honestly never thought this day would come; you were never one for relationships. always thought it was too much work to handle and you already had enough shit to deal with in your life. remember when we were little we made a promise that if neither of us were in a relationship by the time we were 30 we would get married. as silly as it was i always thought that would happen. that we would be the ones getting married and have our best friends write a speech for us. i'd always imagine kie writing mine and john b and pope would write yours, mainly pope though because we all know he’s way better with words than any of us ever were. but i never once in a million years would think i would be writing one for you and another girl. we've been through so many ups and downs and we still stuck together through it all. you're my best friend and i love you. words can't even describe how much i love you. jj, you've brought me so much happiness and never fail to put a smile on my face. even during my worst times you were always there to pick up the pieces and make me laugh. i never thought i would have someone in my life who means so much to me as much as you do. being around you immediately makes my day a hundred times better and i don't know what i would do without you in my life. my life would've probably been extremely boring and plain without you and your crazy adventures. your smile can make anyone's day better and you always make sure everyone else is happy even before yourself. and that's one of the many reasons why i'm in love with you. yes, i'm in love with you and have been for a while. this is more than a just as friends thing. i'm completely and utterly in love with you and that's never gonna change. and i know it took you a while to believe that someone could truly love and care for you, but i always have and always will. you so deserve so much than life has given you and i hope you know how amazing you really are. i’ve become such a better person because of you and you make me so incredibly happy. i'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me. i love you so much. i hope you're happy in your marriage and she treats you right, which i know she does. all i ever wanted was for you to be happy even if it wasn't with me. even though i just dropped this huge bomb on you, please don't let this affect our friendship. i will always be here for you no matter what. i love you, jj maybank."

there was complete silence. jj just sat there staring at the wall not saying a word.

"see this is exactly why i didn't want to tell you in person because i knew this would happen. i-"

"you love me?"

"yes, j i do."

"like actually love me?"

i sighed, "yes and i have for a while as i said in the letter"

"w-why didn't you tell me?"

"i don't know i was always so scared to and i thought you would never really find someone, so i had nothing to lose by not telling you. and then you started dating shay and i could tell you were really happy with her and by the time i realized you two were serious it was too late. i didn't want to step in and ruin anything or lose our friendship."

"you wouldn't have."

"what?"

"you wouldn't have ruined our friendship because i felt the same way. i still feel the same way." jj admitted

"you, what?"

"i love you y/n and as more than just friends. i have since freshmen year of high school when i first told you about my dad and you cleaned up all my cuts and held me in your arms all night. but i was just always too scared to say anything because i thought you were out of my league and i never really deserved you. the only reason i was with all those girls was to forget about you and get rid of my feelings for you, but they never did go away."

"i guess we're both stupid then. we always had these feelings for each other and just never said it."

"i guess so."

"so, what does this mean for us?"

"what do you mean?" jj asked

"i mean this obviously changes things, so what are we gonna do?"

"i don't see why things have to change. yeah we admitted we have these feelings, but that doesn't change anything."

"you're getting married, jj. in like twenty minutes there's gonna be another girl waiting at the end of that aisle for you to go there and give yourself completely to her. and i don't want to stand in the way of giving you and her that happiness you both deserve. me still being here is gonna change things because things are different now whether you want to believe it or not. these feelings are out there and they're still relevant. and i'm not gonna sit here and watch you two be happy and in love and be on the sidelines and feel like shit. i don't deserve that. i don't deserve to have my heart broken seeing you together knowing you have feelings for me and yet i can't do a damn thing about it. and it's not fair to her either to have another woman who you have feelings for sit there and get in the way of her happiness. i'm not gonna ruin this for her, jj. i won't. shay has been nothing but sweet to me and i'm not gonna do that to her. she doesn't deserve it and neither do i."

"so what do you want me to do then?"

"i want you to let me go."

"what? y/n, i love you. you can't tell me to do that"

"let me go, jj. as long as you sit here and tell me that you love me and have feelings for me, this will never end. and we will be going around in circles and i've been stepping on eggshells long enough for you and i'm done. you love her and she loves you, so be happy with her."

"but i love you too y/n and that's never gonna stop." he says with tears in his eyes.

"i know and i will always love you too, but i can't keep doing this. i can't watch you be with her and not be able to do anything. i can't be able to be alone with you knowing how you feel and not do anything to you. you don't know how badly i've just been wanting to kiss you after hearing you say those words to me. you don't know how bad i want this, but jj i can't do this" i say tears running down my face.

"i'll end it then. i'll cancel the wedding and we can be together."

"no. no, jj you can't do that. i'm not gonna ruin this. you've been with her for six years already, you've created this beautiful relationship and commitment to each other and i'm not just gonna ruin that. she's doesn't deserve that. you just need to let me go, jj. let me get over you because the more i'm around you the more the feelings grow. just let me find happiness within someone else.”

"so what? we're just gonna end our friendship? our years and years of friendship is over just like that? i don't want to lose you. if i cant have you in that way, even though i want to so badly, i still want you in my life as a friend."

"but i can't jj. i can't be around you. please, just let me go. let me get over you and find someone else. maybe one day if it's meant to be we'll find our way back to each other and maybe things can work out differently but for now just let me go." i say as my voice breaks

he sighed, "fine, i'll let you go, but only if you do one thing for me."

"what is it?"

"kiss me."

"w-what?"

"kiss me. i've been waiting years to tell you how i feel about you and finally be able to hold you and kiss you, so please just let me do it."

"jj, i don't know" i say hesitantly

"shay never has to know about this and once we kiss it's over. i'll let you go."

"if i kiss you, you'll let me go?"

"yes."

i sighed looking at jj. i actually got a good look of him right now in this moment. he looks so broken. dried tears streamed down his face, his eyes are puffy, and nose is red, but yet he still looks beautiful. no words can describe how jj looks. "cute" or "hot" never did this man justice. he was beautiful both inside and out and that's why i fell in love with him years ago. and as i started to lean it looking in his eyes all the memories we've made together came flashing through my mind all at once. this is really it. after this i'm actually leaving my best friend, who's the love of my life, to move on with my life.

moments later i felt his soft pink lips mold against mine. our lips moved in sync in such a way i have never felt with anyone else before. there was something about the way his lips moved against mine in such a passionate and loving way that i've never felt before. my stomach was immediately filled with butterflies and my mind went blank. all i could do was be in this moment with him. a few moments later it ended leaving both of us breathless. we stared at each other in awe not knowing a simple goodbye kiss would make us feel this way.

"wow. i've been waiting for this kiss for so long and i never knew it would feel like that." jj said

"neither did i.”

as much as i didn't want to, i knew what had to be done next. i stood up grabbing my bag and walked towards the door.

"so this is really it? you're just leaving now. after what we just felt in that kiss you're still gonna leave?" jj asked

"you know i have to."

"no, you don't have to. you want to, there's a difference. but it’s fine you’re just gonna leave just everyone else does, huh?”

don't turn back now. i know what he’s trying to do. he knows how the last thing i ever wanted to do was leave him like countless of other people in his life have done. but don’t let his words get to you. don't turn back now. the decision is already made. if i go back now i'll never leave and end up in the same cycle again.

i turn around one last time to look at my best friend, "i'm sorry. goodbye, jj."

that was the last time i saw jj.

after that i left the venue without saying anything to anyone. i got a ton of calls from kie, pope, and john b asking me where i was. i know they all eventually found out how i felt about him, which sometimes makes me wonder how he never knew, but then again i'm pretty sure they knew he had feelings for me too and i still never noticed. it's crazy how that happens. you could spend every moment of every day with someone and still be so oblivious to how they really feel about you. i guess i was just so caught up in my feelings for him i never noticed all the signs he showed of liking me back.

they always say what’s meant to be will be no matter how long it takes whether it's a day, a month, or a year. well i never really believed in that until now. years later after i walked out of that room, now stood face to face with the guy who was and still is my everything.

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writergamermom · 4 years ago

Text

Promo and Live Blogging #6

Ship Your Own Adventure

Emblue_Sparks

Mature

Chapter 1 Billie/Crowley; Chapter 2 Sam/Eileen; Chapter 3 Dean/Crowley; Chapter 4 Kevin/Aaron; Chapter 5 Claire/Kaia; Chapter 6 Sam/Gadreel; Chapter 7 Crowley/Mick Davis; Chapter 8 Dean/Benny; Chapter 9 Bobby+ Rufus; Chapter 10 Dean/Castiel

Liveblog

Man Emblue Sparks did their own art! How can I top this?

His beloved Imperium Innocentia never ceased to fill him with wonder, and yet as of late, he'd begun to feel a worrisome unease when visiting. The loyal ferrymen were paid handsomely to usher his precious souls from there to the shores of Elysium and Asphodel Meadows. Neither Castiel nor Gabriel had reported any bumps in the proverbial road, so that couldn't be the source.

To be honest I am rather confused.

The realm was fiercely protected by thousands of wardings and enchantments. His rambunctious rescues were all squeals and delight as their tender souls regained the sweet innocence lost, as was the realms purpose. However, when visiting recently, his grace sensed...not a presence really, but a watchfulness. As if some all seeing eye was casting itself upon it.

So a place in the Scottish highlands is the first circle of hell where all the unborn or unbaptized babies are? Wait Crowley has GRACE? So confused.

Perhaps she'd care for some tea..or Craig? No, no scotch wouldn't do, how would that appear? Lovely to make to your acquaintance. May I invite you into my home for strong spirits on a whim?

I mean I wouldn’t say no, but I am drunk so what are you going to do.

He'd longed to ask her why she felt so familiar. Why in her presence he felt they might have been from another time altogether. A far away memory tiptoed on the edges of recollection just out of his mind's reach. Crowley would spend untold hours in contemplation, opening his mind in hopes the memory in which he sought might emerge from its shy shell and present itself. Alas, to his disappointment, none had stepped forward to claim that missing piece of neurological real estate thus far.

Wow, this is some kind of poetry. Okay there are some major spoilers so I won’t post any more for this chapter. But I want to read more. There are like layers here man.

Chapter Two Notes: Because I cannot abide the logic surrounding Eileen's absence in the finale. Every actor is entitled to their opinion, as are we, the fans. Though I disagree with Jared, I'll defend his right to express his thoughts. But seeing as how this is my interpretation of this pairing, I'm giving Sam and Eileen this ending I feel they deserved because this handling of the finale among other things had me livid.

Ooops, I have not watched the last season. Oh well.

And yet for Sam, the fates had been so unkind. For as his son grew and garnered a beautiful life of his own, one he happily shared with none other than Castiel Fitzgerald, his memory of Eileen began to fade. Once Dean Jr had realized it was happening, he'd prayed.

Dean Jr. and Castiel Fitzgerald are together and Sam is losing his memories. Bittersweet!

"Dean is well, although he misses you. We're happy, he and I. Eileen as well. I've heard your son's prayers. He fears you'll forget her due to your memories' condition. You sustained many concussions throughout your life. She grows..blurry for you, does she not?"

Yeah Sam got hit in the head a lot!

Without warning, Jody walks into his home.

"Saam?"

He turns his head, stunned. She shouldn't be even be driving anymore let alone-

"Yo!"

Anybody home?" Claire and Kaia both called out as they too enter.

Aww I love these girls. Imagine Old Jody still kicking ass and filled with sass.

"Let's get this party started," Jody suggested, busting a bottle of Johnny Walker Black label from her oversized old lady purse.

YES!

Chapter 3 It wasn't the first time he'd watched Dean Winchester sleep, nor would it be the last. But he'd paid close attention when overhearing the very true sentiment expressed, "It's just creepy." Since then he'd taken extra precautions not to make the seraph's mistake.

So it’s Dean and someone not Cas.

Dean was as tenacious as any demon,

It’s Crowley!

They'd had a deliciously rambunctious role in the proverbial hay with triplets earlier that evening.

Yeah I knew they had an orgy!

He began slowly pulling his hand back, so slowly in fact, he hoped it would go unnoticed. However, before it left the warmth of Dean's skin, he felt Dean pointedly grab his hand.

Wow. Yeah. That’s the good stuff.

Chapter 4: You got the job?! Awesome! Well, I knew you would. You're an outstanding accountant," Kevin glowed at his best friend Aaron, whom he'd helped land a position at the same company he worked at.

WOOT KEVIN! I love Kevin. And Aaron. I can see it.

Kevin had found an outstanding job at "Write Your Own Story," a place kind of like Total Rekall, only no memory sorcery involved. His friend Claire and her wife Kaia had inherited a typewriter from a long lost uncle...Megatron or something like that. They discovered its magic and sought to use it for good but also a career. It was gaining steam, paid the bills, but barely out of the beta phase.

Nice! I dig all of this.

Over the next few weeks business boomed with the coming holidays. People wanted to write those they loved beautiful dreams as gifts. And as Kevin discovered, it was all the ink.

I would love to give someone good dreams.

Get out. I can’t believe you would do something like this. And you used a sacred holiday too..ya know what? Nevermind, I'm late for service, make sure you're not here when I get back."

Oh NO!

Chapter 5: "We all missed you and mourned you. Just because we'd just met didn't mean we hadn't looked forward to welcoming you into our little family," Jody declared to Kaia as they pulled out from the bunker and started their five hour journey plus change back to Souix Falls.

I have not watched season 15, did Kaia and Claire get a reunion? I think I remember hearing something about Jody and Kaia. How sweet if she got to bring her home.

"I'm not gonna intervene with you two beyond this, but hearing from Sam all these years about how Dean and Cas keep dancing around each other,

Poor Sam

"It's really you…" the golden lightning in a bottle whispered before slamming into her, squeezing so hard her eyeballs almost popped out.

Nice

Chapter 6 Sam's crushed on the martial arts instructor at the Men of Letters Academy for a year and finally finds an opportunity to do something about it.

I don’t know what this is.

Sam Winchester had been working at the Letters Academy for all of one year as a Professor of Supernatural History and Lore. Dean had graduated ten years prior and was a field agent with a partner of the celestial variety, Castiel. Sam preferred employment on the educational side of operations and prepared his students well, heavily arming them with the knowledge of what was out there and how to effectively neutralize it, if necessary.

Cool. I am down for this

The instructor had joined the academy's faculty the same time as Sam and to say he had a crush on the guy was putting it mildly. His name was Gadreel, and like Dean's partner,

Man they would make a mightily tall couple.

"Heard Max Banes is working through the ranks of Tai Kwon Do pretty fast. Aces all the tests and assignments in my class. Seems pretty motivated.." Sam tossed out for conversation.

Before Covid I was doing pretty well with Taekwondo. I have not kept up.

"Those are effective, until knocked out of your hand or your mag runs out. Come by sometime, I'll show you some stuff..if you want."

Yeah Ill show you some stuff too. In my pants!

"Private lessons I see, Gadreel. I'd no idea they were on the table. Perhaps we can come to some..arrangement." Sam looked up to see Arthur Ketch standing in the doorway aiming a lascivious grin at Gadreel.

EWWW. Can we say creepy

It had Sam considering the length of his wingspan.

Wingspan… Sure

#spncoldesthitspromo

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makeste · 5 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 257: New Year’s Party and All Might Feels

Previously on BnHA: The kids ate some yummy cotton candy and got to demolish a bunch of robots in flashy and expensive ways, because U.A. is every child’s dream school and All Might is getting closer to finally achieving his goal of being The Cool, Fun Teacher. There was also some cute Kirimina and Izuocha stuff, and also some panels of All Might watching Deku with a wistful dad smile which was both heartwarming and also makes me slightly terrified for his chances of surviving to the end of this series, but what else is new. Anyway so after class we cut to Aizawa and Mic who were all “we’re still sad fyi” until the Big Three interrupted them to get Aizawa to come help with Eri’s quirk. Meanwhile, All Might sat down with Deku and Kacchan and gave Deku a notebook all about THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE SIXQUIRKS. And we’d better be covering that pronto in this chapter because holy shit I had to wait two weeks after that cliffhanger and that was not fucking fair.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan and Deku read about the one quirk user WE ALREADY FUCKING KNEW ABOUT before they get bored and decide that WE DON’T NEED TO HEAR ANY MORE ABOUT ANY OF THOSE OTHER LAME QUIRKS APPARENTLY. In an effort to console me, All Might reveals that Shimura Nana’s quirk was THE POWER OF FUCKING FLYING YEAH BITCHES, which does admittedly warm my heart. Also Deku and Kacchan have an entire page of going back and forth at each other like the squabbling siblings they are and that helps too. Also we then cut to all of the 1-A kids having a New Year’s party, and yeah, Horikoshi admittedly knows how to play me like a goddamn fiddle I guess. The chapter then takes a sudden swerve for the nostalgic, with Deku and pals reminiscing about how much they’ve grown and how lucky they are, before we cut to All Might who’s sitting on a bench having Winter Night Angst until he’s comforted by Aizawa of all people, because this chapter is actually fucking great. And then we cut to THREE FUCKING MONTHS LATER LMAOOOO [blows noisemaker] SHIGARACALYPSE 2020 COMING ATCHA KIDS. WOOP WOOP.

okay so I have been persuaded to try out the fan scanlation this week! for several reasons: (1) the new scanlators have had a few weeks now to improve their game and I’m curious to see what the quality is like, (2) there are already spoilers all over my dashboard lol and I’m tired of trying to dodge them, and finally (3) I have nothing else to do this afternoon and I wanna read it. SO IMMA READ IT. BRING ON THE SIXQUIRKS OF DEKU THE NINTH

-- GOD DAMMIT ALL MIGHT

I assume that those are the two shadowy ones, then? Bakushadow and PonytailShadow? goddammit. meanwhile even if we didn’t have that whole mystery, the second user would still be the one I’m most curious about, because (s)he was the first one to actually get OFA handed down to them, and to say that I’m curious about how exactly that went down would be putting it mildly. like how the hell did Lil Bro figure out that he could pass his fucking quirk down to people. and what exactly was the trial and error process involved, if any. was he just like. “dude, come here, I want to try something okay? this is gonna sound really fucking weird but hear me out... I want you to eat my hair”

sob, honestly a time-traveling Bakugou who already knows how The Whole Deal Works might honestly be the least bizarre explanation. I have so many questions ughh

btw I do also want to call attention to the fact that this chapter is titled “make it your own”, a.k.a. the mantra that Kacchan has been trying to get Deku to adopt since the provisional license exam. so this I do like. that is very promising

hmmMMMMMMMM

motherfuckin time travel is starting to sound more and more likely you guys. oh my god. but how?? someone’s quirk?? or maybe they can just get Mei to build them a machine. fuck it, she’s already upgraded Deku’s costume ten thousand times with random crap, what’s one more. you read it here first, Deku’s next upgrade will be gloves that carry him back and forth in time

lmao Katsuki

on the one hand that is very rude, but on the other hand I too would like him to get to talking about the ones whose quirks he actually did learn about. so yeah. [taps watch] we gonna do this All Might, or

lmao Deku’s asking about Blackwhip and meanwhile Katsuki’s just PICKING UP THE NOTEBOOK, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING, YOINK

(ETA: Kacchan with a normal face is such a rare Charizard of a panel that I just have to stop for a moment to appreciate it. take a good look everyone, we probably won’t get this again for another 50 chapters.)

fucking thank you Kacchan. holy shit. I mean All Might worked hard on it, might as well make use of it. and never mind the explicit “FOR YOUNG MIDORIYA” plastered on the cover I guess lol

also!! BALDY FINALLY GOT HIMSELF A NAME OMGGGGG. “LARIAT.” we’ll see how Caleb translates that tomorrow, I guess. I have no idea what it means but I’m excited!!! yay naaaames

OH THAT’S JUST HIS ALIAS HE’S GOT A REAL NAME TOO OH SNAP

(ETA: also there’s the expected “go” since he’s #5. so that’s apparently still a thing, meaning the mystery behind nos. 2 and 3 is still as perplexing as ever. maybe a bit of a stretch, but does anyone suppose that the “己” at the end of Katsuki’s given name could be interpreted as kind of looking like the Arabic numeral for two? eh? eh??)

seems to be causing a whole lot of collateral damage, but hey, price you pay for being a badass

oh my god my sons are bickering

(ETA: but lmao though at Katsuki being all “YOU THINK EVERY FUCKING QUIRK IS AMAZING” because sob it’s true.)

Katsuki please. first of all WHY WOULD YOU ONLY GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT THE ONE FUCKING QUIRK WE ALREADY KNEW, and two, I kinda need at least one of those quirks to be at least a little bit badass, because fucking shit you guys, uhhhh. [gestures frantically to the last page of chapter 255] nyghhnghh. and also!! [gestures to the last two pages of chapter 245] ...

hmm so All Might says that Kacchan is right, and that it makes sense that most of the quirks would be weak ones because AFO made it his business to stomp out any strong quirk users on account of the whole “he’s fucking evil” thing and all of that world domination biz

look how evil

oh wow

goddamn that’s one hell of an image. all these fallen heroes desperately trying to make sure that their power, the world’s only hope, doesn’t die out with them

so then from the way All Might makes it sound, it seems like some of the successors maybe weren’t carefully selected at all, but instead they were just the ones who happened to be in the right (wrong??) place at the right time. maybe some of them were fellow soldiers in the war against AFO, and when their comrades fell they were there to pick up the gauntlet. that actually makes a hell of a lot of sense

and also the way they seem to be passing on the quirk appears to be the blood-on-blood method rather than the hair-eating method, so that also potentially addresses my snarky rambling earlier in this very recap lol. Lil Bro may not have meant to pass it on at all; he might have just been gripping some spiky-haired passerby’s hand while mortally wounded, and knowing that his time was up, and hoping against hope that this MYSTERIOUS KACCHAN-LOOKING STRANGER would somehow be able to take up the fight and continue what he started. and then lo and behold

-- motherFUCKER HE REALLY JUST PUT IT BACK DOWN ON THE TABLE LIKE

SO, I GUESS WE JUST DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THE OTHER QUIRKS THEN! WELL FINE. let’s just never talk about anything I’m dying to know about again ever!!

“seems they’ve all died young” WELL ISN’T THAT JUST FINE AND FUCKING DANDY. what a wonderful legacy All Might has bequeathed unto our sprightly green protagonist. what a barrel of laughs this has turned out to be

sob my son literally doesn’t know how to take his foot off the gas

but I guess it’s not necessarily a bad thing to have someone there who only relentlessly knows how to go forward, forward, forward

SDFLKSHDOGIHSOGISHLGKSDLFJ

EXCUSE ME, MCFUCKING WHAT DID YOU SAY?! SO YOU’RE TELLING ME MY BEST GIRL COULD FUCKING FLY, IS THAT IT?? AM I READING THIS RIGHT?? WAIT -- HOW DO YOU BREATHE, AGAIN?? OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD, I

LOL WHAT THE FUCK

(ETA: I left the edges of his speech bubble in while cropping this so everyone can appreciate just how spiky it is.)

me too kid!! you were playing quirk bingo, right? it was only a matter of time before someone came along with flying powers and we all knew it. I’ve been saying it and saying it, Deku was born to touch the sky

lulz he’s screaming at Deku that he can already fly with his explosions, so now while Deku works on mastering his own flying quirk, Katsuki will pull ahead of him SO THAT MAKES HIM THE WINNER I GUESS. lol honestly this speech is one of the nerdiest things he’s ever done and I almost wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d ended it with “OWNED!!!” watch him look around for a mic to drop

oh my god

this isn’t even rival energy, this is sibling energy. like, this one panel is some of the rawest fucking sibling energy I’ve ever seen. the relentless shittalking, the competition over absolutely nothing, the ridiculous faces... just, wow

anyway so I have a ton of thoughts about Katsuki’s current feelings toward Deku ever since the Endeavor and Natsuo “you don’t have to forgive me” thing, but the short version is that I think Katsuki lately has actually been really worried about upsetting the status quo with Deku, and, well... “losing” Deku, so to speak. I think during the internship he finally clued in to the fact that he actually had been a real certified jerkweiner to Deku, but more importantly he woke up to the realization that he doesn’t know for sure if Deku actually has forgiven him. like, he’s been going around thinking that it’s in the past, that it doesn’t matter, and then along come the Todorokis with all their drama, and he sees that and he realizes oh shit, sometimes people secretly have tons of resentment that’s just burning away at them underneath and shit!

and so the thought is kind of eating at him now that Deku might not have actually forgiven him, and he’s actually really scared of that, and so he’s reacting in two different ways: one, by being irrationally annoyed/angry with Deku for having that power over him (the power to either forgive him or not), even though that’s his own fault; and two, by trying in his own way to aggressively push things toward being the way they were back when they were little kids before their whole falling out. which, in his mind, means them being rivals. like, in the second character book, there’s a section that’s all about the characters’ relationships with each other, and in for Deku it says he views his and Kacchan’s relationship as “childhood friends”, but from Katsuki’s perspective, their relationship is listed as “childhood rivals.” so yeah

anyway so I guess I lied about this being “the short version” (I’m gonna have to essay about this more in a separate post I think), but basically I think that in Katsuki’s mind this kind of juvenile making-faces-and-egging-each-other-on thing is how he interprets their friendship, and he’s very awkwardly trying to get back to that

anyway! I got hella sidetracked there so let’s get back to the plot shall we. there’s a sweet panel of All Might smiling at the two of them because I think he also sees that this scene is somehow heartwarming in its own bizarre way lol

and then WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE DORMS YESSSSSS

(ETA: stray thought -- it’s an absolute fucking delight to see all of the male characters cooking for once while the girls, as far as I can see, are just sitting around chilling in the living area. like I’m sure they are helping as well, but you have no idea how fucking refreshing it is to not have the girl characters be all “WE’LL COOK FOR YOU BOYS SINCE YOU’RE SO HOPELESS AND/OR YOU’RE WORKING SO HARD TEEHEE.” holy shit. it’s great.)

to answer your question, Sero, they’ve been having secret powwows with All Might and discussing things like how Kacchan is objectively better than Deku it’s science, and how to make Deku fly. what have you all been doing

OH I SEE YOU ARE HAVING DINNER

is that Tokoyami running like a Hanna-Barbera character in the background. every time I think I have a handle on his character Horikoshi has a new twist ready to keep me on my toes. also lol at Kirishima remembering how Kacchan did jackall to help during the Christmas party, and making sure he does his part this time IF HE WANTS TO EAT

(ETA: lol so after rereading this that’s clearly Deku in the background. I still think it looks more like Tokoyami though! but obviously the two of them are the only ones still in their uniforms, so.)

OH BOY OH BOY NOW THIS CHAPTER IS CRACKIN’

TODOROKI SHOUTO!! YOU HAVE BROUGHT SHAME UNTO YOUR FAMILY! lmao he’s so quick to answer “IT WAS ME I DID IT” with his two fucking exclamation points too lol. I don’t know why that’s so amusing to me but it is and I love it

meanwhile Horikoshi got a little too playful when drawing that Momochako page there huh. drew the back of her head but was then like “BUT THEN YOU CAN’T SEE HER ADORABLE SMILE” but he couldn’t be assed to redraw it so he improvised. IT’S CALLED ART

ahhhhhhh class B is joining them yesssss!! and Kodai’s bringing a couch oh my god such an excellent and practical application of her Ant-Man quirk to make sure everyone has someplace to sit these children are so cooperative and wise

YAY WHOLESOME NEW YEAR’S PARTY ANTICS

KATSUKI HAS UPGRADED FROM SANTA GRUMP TO SITTING NICELY WITH HIS SQUAD!! SHOUJI IS WEARING ANOTHER OF HIS LEGENDARY PONCHOS!! TSUYU JUST SAVED MINA’S LIFE!! KOUDA BROUGHT HIS BUNNY BECAUSE BUNNY DESERVES TO PARTY TOO!! AND AOYAMA IS PROBABLY WEARING A ROBE, BUT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THAT IT’S A DRESS AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!! NEW YEAR NEW HIM YES CHEERS

oh my god they’re starting to reminisce, no my emotions were not ready for this please chill out kids

look at them talking like they’re all grown up now

you do realize you all are still just babies right. “it was a crazy ride... back then we were so young...” is that Joe Cocker’s version of With a Little Help from My Friends I hear playing in the background. why has the film quality gone all grainy. what is this what’s happening

THANK YOU IIDA

as expected from the resident 40-year-old. please tell these children to get a grip. they’re out here talking about which Roth IRAs they’re going to get and how much their lower backs hurt

also, this scanlation hasn’t been too bad so far, but I feel like knowing it’s “Iida” and not “Lida” is like the bare minimum of translating a chapter of BnHA. like at least get the names right. but anyway I cropped that part of the panel out regardless because Mineta’s face was ruining the atmosphere so it’s all good

oh no. oh shit wait. what’s going on here

do not tell me this is one of those “calm before the storm/AND THAT WAS THE LAST TIME EVERYONE WAS ALL TOGETHER AND HAPPY EVER AGAIN” things. please no. please tell me I’m overreacting and grossly misinterpreting the general vibe here. fuck

also though, you see that bit in the Kacchan panel though lol. so yeah their relationship is just like that. it’s weird but they like it

jesus christ now Deku is sitting there saying “I’m very fortunate” with this face like he’s just DARING fate to come on over and punch him in the balls. DEKU!!

no!!!! [swipes at the air in an attempt to ward off the oncoming plot] go away! shoo!

and interestingly, Tokoyami is watching him!

do you want in on this plot too buddy. is that it. well your mentor has gotten himself all wound up in this spider’s web by this point, so why not. if we’re gonna have angst I guess the more the merrier

LMAO NEVER MIND, THE VERY NEXT PANEL HE’S ASKING DEKU TO PASS THE FUCKING PONZU AGAIN. DEKU COULD YOU FUCKING SNAP TO IT ALREADY HOW MANY GODDAMN TIMES DOES HE HAVE TO ASK

NOW ALL MIGHT IS SITTING ALONE ON A BENCH OUTSIDE THE TEACHER’S DORMS AND AIZAWA IS THERE SUDDENLY

is he going to talk to him about Eri. or the whole Noumu thing. ahhhhhhh

someone please tell All Might he needs to stop acting like he’s about to die. holy shit. this is reaching unacceptable levels. the fond smile while watching Deku’s progress. another fond smile while seeing him and Bakugou going back and forth, perhaps feeling reassured that someone else will be there to look out for Deku once he’s gone. giving Deku a notebook with everything he knows about OFA. and now SITTING ON A BENCH ALONE IN THE DARK IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER WITH HIS HANDS FOLDED IN HIS LAP JUST THINKING THOUGHTS!! AND AIZAWA’S ALL “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” AND HE’S ALL “NOTHING... JUST...” HOLY FUCKING SHIT ALL MIGHT COULD YOU PLEASE NOT

but anyways so what’s this you say about training Eri now

fffFFFFFS HE’S DOING IT AGAIN

he doesn’t know if he’ll be here come springtime, that’s what’s up. the clock is ticking on Nighteye’s prophecy, and even though he swore he’d live and punch fate in the mouth, you never know though and shit but this is depressing. anyway if my guess is right he may be about to share the secret of OFA with Aizawa though, because that’s what I’d do if I thought I was possibly gonna die and my student might need someone to continue mentoring him once I was gone. so, you know, still a bummer but also YES ALL MIGHT DO ITTTTT

oh nope nevermind he’s just rambling and Aizawa doesn’t have a clue wtf he’s on about

fffff this is some prime grade A All Might angst right here, the gods have blessed us after so long oh snap oh dang

so then maybe he doesn’t think he’s dying lol. well whatever. I think it’s probably a little of column A, a little of column B, that sort of thing but hey

yo you guys, Aizawa bonding with All Might is just. [chef’s kiss] it’s been so long. I don’t think we’ve had a long scene between them since the parent teacher meetings oh my god. Aizawa definitely respects him so much more now and it’s great

totally off subject btw, but the third light novel has a chapter where the teachers all meet up at a local bar and get trashed and talk about all kinds of crap, and Aizawa drunkenly tells All Might he respects the hell out of him, and it’s an absolute delight and everyone should read it. here’s the link to the Viz edition. it’s easily the best of the light novels (though I haven’t read the fourth one which is coming out in March), and an enjoyable read from start to finish. anyways thus ends my unsponsored plug, now back to our regularly scheduled programming

yep. safe to say the days when he thought All Might was an attention-loving media whore are long gone. fuck I love this

oh my god oh my fucking god

wow. just. ...shit. this is a message that I think everyone should hear, first of all, and this is easily one of the most gorgeous and profound panels this manga has ever had. like holy shit I almost cried

and second of all, tell me something, how is Aizawa the most comforting, gentle, supportive, encouraging man in the universe, and how did we get so lucky, and can you believe this man wasn’t even planning to become a teacher holy shit. we can’t afford to lose him, ever

OH FUCK ALL MIGHT, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU START CRYING HERE --

let me tell you I did not need that flashback panel of Nighteye TODAY OF ALL DAYS, HOLY SHIT. THE HELL KIND OF TIMING IS THAT. HE KNEW WHAT EPISODE WAS AIRING THIS WEEKEND, HE DOES SKETCHES FOR THEM EVERY WEEK, THIS WAS FULLY INTENTIONAL AND I FEEL AGGRIEVED

my god All Might is pinching the corners of his eyes and apologizing I can’t. STOP OFFLOADING ALL OF THESE ALL MIGHT FEELS ON ME. even now, after everything he’s given, he still feels like it’s not enough. it’s in his nature to feel restless, to want to do more. he’s earned the right to rest -- earned it more than anyone in the world -- but he can’t, and he feels guilty and helpless because the burden he shouldered for so long has been passed on to everyone else now, and he knows how heavy it is, and he was so willing to carry it even if it destroyed him, but he can’t anymore! and then to have someone come along and say “it’s okay, you’ve done enough, you’re doing enough, you are enough,” just. shit shit shit shit shit. I can hear Horikoshi’s truck beeping as it backs up to dump YET MORE FEELS all over my goddamn house. there are feels being tossed out of an airplane door overhead with little parachutes. fucking paperboys are riding by on their bicycles and whipping them at my face screaming “EXTRA! EXTRA!” fucking...

-- HOLY SHIT!?!?

well my jaw just dropped. um. [peeks at calendar] do you mean to tell me that we’re just CUTTING STRAIGHT TO THE PARTY NOW, JUST LIKE THAT

WELL FUCK, LMAO. BEEN NICE KNOWING Y’ALL

sDFLKSHGLKH

Horikoshi: [poking his head in the door] hey what’s up guys just thought I’d toss in this panel of Ujiko here to remind you all that Spring is when --

everyone: JESUS CHRIST WE KNOW

-- WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK LOL, WHAT

well I guess it’s nice to know that those feelings of impending doom were apparently RIGHT ON THE MONEY sob. NOTHING TO SEE HERE, JUST THE END OF ALL HEROES!! JUST UJIKO ROAMING THE HALLS OF HIS LOCAL HOSPITAL BEING ALL “HO HO” BECAUSE HE’S FINISHED HIS WINTER PROJECT OF TURNING TOMURA INTO ONE OF THE FOUR HORSEMEN AND HE’S FEELING REALLY FUCKING GREAT ABOUT LIFE. JUST THE MANGA JUMPING AHEAD THREE FUCKING MONTHS JUST LIKE THAT, AND DROPPING US BACK IN BARELY A WEEK BEFORE THE START OF THE KIDS’ SECOND YEAR, A.K.A. “YEAR OF THE SHINSOU”, A.K.A. “YEAR THAT KACCHAN FINALLY REVEALS HIS HERO NAME BECAUSE HOLY SHIT SON YOU REALLY FUCKING SAT ON THAT FOR THREE MORE FUCKING MONTHS!?”, A.K.A. “THE YEAR ALL MIGHT BETTER NOT FUCKING DIE”, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, A.K.A. “[GESTURES FRANTICALLY TO CHAPTER 245 AGAIN]”

lol. here I was hoping we had at least a little more time before the whole “we’re fucked” thing kicked in, but I guess the apocalypse waits for no one. gentlemen it has been a privilege playing with you tonight

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unfortunatelyevent · 4 years ago

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Last 10 Fics Tag Meme

Rules: Post the first lines of your last ten fics read or written and then tag others to do the same.

so i saw this and i really liked it so i’m doing it

1. Visceral Reactions by STARSdidathing (frostiron)

Tony wasn’t entirely sure how it happened.

One moment, he was chained to a wall in Loki’s latest warehouse lair and the mage was monologing. Tony was delivering his usual snarky one liners in response and Loki was trying not to look amused.

They were enemies just doing their thing and passing time until someone could save Tony (or he could save himself).

The point was, Loki was mid-monologue, throwing in some “mortals are beneath me, I hate you all” crap. Tony was rebutting that Loki was an Asgardian snob and, a total liar because he knew Loki liked a lot of Earth food, clothing and music.

Loki was towering over him and glowering.

And then... then they were kissing.

2. Friends Don’t Let Friends by theorytale (frostiron)

Steve was angling his shield to deflect a blast from Loki's staff, when out of nowhere the Hulk dropped down - splintering the concrete under their feet - and scooped Loki up in one massive green hand. Steve cringed reflexively even as he relaxed his stance. Loki was an evil bastard, sure, but watching Hulk use him like that whack-a-mole game was just… uncomfortable.

Only, Hulk didn't smash.

Loki struggled uselessly, yelling for the Hulk to put him down. It was kind of funny how fast the guy could go from menacing and legitimately frightening to… kind of pitiful. The cognitive dissonance gave Steve a headache.

Hulk lifted Loki up and peered at him intently, brow furrowed. "What puny god's intentions?"

3. Obliviousness Can Lead To True Love by pointnclickbait (science boyfriends)

Bruce swore softly shooting a glance at his watch as he hurried to the next presentation. This conference was turning out to be more hectic than he had expected. He had been hoping to catch a couple of presentations in particular but had already managed to miss some of them. The one he was hoping to attend the most was after the one he was currently running to. He really hoped he didn’t miss it. He paused at the entrance to the conference room to catch his breath before entering. He stepped in and scanned the room before hurrying to the one free space he could see. He settled down just as the speaker took to the floor.

He was so invested in what he was hearing that he forgot to keep an eye on the time and wasn’t aware of it until he was applauding the conclusion of the presentation. He looked at his watch absentmindedly before doing a double take when he saw the time. Swearing loudly this time he tried to squeeze his way through the crowd. By the time he finally escaped the room more precious time had elapsed. Inevitably by the time he reached his destination there was no possible way that he could have gotten inside. He let out a sigh of frustration and scrubbed his hand through his hair. It looked like he wasn’t getting into Tony Stark’s talk after all. He dropped his hand with another sigh. He’d been looking forward to the talk all weekend. It was the reason he had asked to have his presentation given so early, he had been hoping that he wouldn’t have to worry about the talks clashing. He swallowed his disappointment and headed for the dining hall hoping to eat his feelings.

4. The Language of Love by 1derspark (kaysanova)

To be in Jerusalem is to be hard of hearing.

Nicolo learns quickly there was no silence to be had in the city. Even on the way here, there is noise: the breaking of waves against a Genoese ship, the clamor of a thousand knights and horses, their armor clattering like heavy shells on the march to the holy city.

There is never silence. In Jerusalem it’s as if God were screaming, and with every hoarse screech the devil answered.

The battlefield is everywhere, and so is the blood. The sound of death, the sound of pain. Nicolo has dreamed in war cries for years, so this did not bother him. He dreamed in black curls, a dark helm pulled over an angry face, teeth bared and chattering in a language he did not understand but would soon come to hear very frequently.

He meets this man — the one that roars and tramples down swathes of armies beneath his feet — not too long after the fighting starts.

5. Here We Are, Born to be Kings by Purple_ducky00 (iron husbands)

“Your Highness. Lord Stark is here to see you.” Quentin Beck holds up his nose.

Prince James Rhodes rolls his eyes. It’s not like Beck should judge. He was only hired because his family was in serious debt. Tony is working out of his.

Tony walks in a few minutes later, hair askew. “Wow, Rhodey, your servants hate me. I call it an achievement.”

“They just think it’s ok to judge since their scandals happened long ago enough for people to forget. You don’t deserve this.”

“I probably do.” Tony shrugs. “It doesn’t bother me. Actually, it gives me the chance to ditch my politeness because they already dislike me.”

6. Impossible Things by accioromulus (wolfstar)

Sirius arrives at the party two hours late and covered in snow. Facebook had suggested around thirty people were coming—a number which already threatened to overwhelm James and Lily’s tiny flat. When Sirius arrives at just past ten however, he immediately wishes he’d brought a sledge hammer, if only to make it past the front door. It’s clear that no less than fifty guests had burrowed their way inside. They stand in every corner, filling the narrow hallways and spilling out from every room, their faces vaguely familiar to him, their chattering bright and enthusiastic. Music drifts in from the sitting room, and it takes Sirius a moment to recognize it, bizarrely, as Christmas Carols, despite the New Years Eve decorations strung about the walls. He turns a corner, attempting suave and casual, but instead narrowly avoids a party-goer's over-enthusiastic elbow by crashing into Lily Evans.

7. greater love has no one than this by Jack_R (kaysanova) ((THIS IS A FAVE))

‘I am not going to Rum,’ Yusuf said. ‘They are filthy, depraved degenerates, and I will not bring dishonour on the house of my father by consorting with these Greeks dogs.’

‘I thought your mother was Greek,’ Niccolò said, mildly.

‘Then you should trust me when I say that their entire civilisation is simply beyond saving,’ Yusuf said.

8. fearfully and wonderfully made by bethecowboy (kaysanova)

Yusuf’s blood buzzes so hard through his veins that it takes all his effort to stay still. Every part of him longs for motion, for justice, for a swift end to the constant exhaustion.

He always calms his limbs, his mind, in time for Fajr: his forehead kisses the ground as the new sun soaks the sand in deep russet oranges. Light glints of the breastplates of dead Christians; it caresses the faces of his fallen brothers who had died defending the outer wall.

9. Genus and Species by 27dragons, tisfan (winteriron)

When Bucky opened his eyes, all he could see was green in all directions. At first he thought that was just the remainder of the Time Stone’s power. Thanos had done… something. No one quite knew what because the battle had been so confusing; the Power Stone blasting purple rays everywhere, the Space Stone moving people out of position, lord only knew what was happening with the Reality Stone. And then there had been a great, green wave of energy--

“Ug,” said someone nearby. It took Bucky a moment to clear his thoughts enough to identify it: Tony. “I feel like a Pride parade just swallowed me whole and then puked me out.” A pause. “Why are we in a jungle?”

10. Through The Years by hawkbucks (winteriron)

Tony is 8 and Natasha is 12 when Tony brings Natasha home for the first time.

“Mamma!” he brightly exclaims as soon as Maria opens the door, holding up one of his hands that is intertwined with one of Natasha’s. “This is Natasha! She helped me while I was walkin’ home from school today.” Before Maria can say anything, Tony is already rushing past her, dragging his newfound friend into the living room with him. He leads her to the rather lavish, cream-colored couch that’s bigger than necessary and tells her to sit down, letting go of her hand.

“Some’a the kids at school were followin’ me and sayin’ bad things to me,” Tony starts to explain as he takes off his patent leather shoes, remembering what his mother said about tracking dirt into the house. “But Natasha made ‘em go away. Then she said she’d keep walkin’ with me so that I’d get home all safe. She was really awesome!”

and that’s that, i have to say that i absolutelly love and rec all of these!

ok i’m tagging: @natyhunter @atypical-snowman @simplyclockwork @camp-half-dumbass and whoever wants!!! (also everyone i tagged please don’t feel obligated!!!)

#tag games #sorry if someone doesn't like tag things and I tagged you in things...#i may have cheated a little and skiped some fics #bc well my ao3 history is between me and god so #also i prob skiped one kaysanova fic or two bc i was in a kaysanova reading spree and this would end up being a kaysanova only event #fic recs #frostiron #lokitony #science boyfriends #brucetony #kaysanova #joenicky #iron husbands #rhodeytony #wolfstar #winteriron #buckytony #also this is only fics i read bc well i don't write #long post

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chromeskiesstuff · 5 years ago

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The Killing of Three Thousand Crows Recap EP 1 三千鸦杀

This drama has been a huge blast - I am 8 EPs in and the plot, characters are wonderful and refreshing. The main leads are a hoot themselves, being very hilarious and have their own unique personalities. Props to CGI and costume theme who does their best to make it realistic while in budget, in particularly the costumes feel so natural and pretty.

So just a brief introduction:

This is a Xianxia adaptation from novel of the same name. Xianxia = it involves immortals. Our heroine, Yan Yan, or with her adult/real name Qin Chuan (覃川) is a mortal princess of her country and it has been destroyed by the demon people. Her people are slain and she vowed to kill off each and every demon people to bring peace to her people.

The Male Lead is Jiu Yun (九云), a powerful young immortal who has a crush on her, and he has seen through her ten lives/ previous reincarnation.

We started off with our male lead, Jiu Yun and his friend. His friend ponders why he is sharing with him a drawing by his Shifu/Master and what is it about.

He replied that this was about a war where drums are beating, and bones anre piling up. He also said he didn’t understand the meaning of the drawing for thousand years.

The cinematography is pretty amazing and the narration done by Zhen Ye Cheng (yes our Male lead does his own dubbing along with Zhao Luo Si) is nothing short of haunting. The sequence is written in a semi-classical format, and its a thing of beauty when it combines with great cinematography, great colour combinations, great symbolism (eg drums that reinvigorate a dying party) , great prose and great narration. Look at her red robes flowing in harsh winter while hitting the drums. Maybe I should translate this part later :D

His friend retorted. “It’s normal for mortals to be in war”. He replied "I finally met her yesterday. I have been searching for her for a thousand years” while the screen switch to her facing her enemies alone.

I presume she didn’t survive. Based on some notes on the novel this was her past life. Anyway I really dig these prologues as of late as its normally shot wonderfully and in a simplistic manner + introduce the whole thing.

The scene switched to an enormous paper bird flying down to a city.

I love the design of the paper bird. Its delicate. Can I have one for a Mercedes?

Our heroine slept at class, slacking off from learning paper folding spells which is a secret skill of Dali royalty. He also scold her that she have already learn for a year but she knew nothing.Her Shifu challenges her to make ten paper crane.

She could fight with Bai Qian with tardiness though what Bai Qian did is even more crayy

She defended herself that paper folding spells emphasize on making it freely/casually. Under her shifu threat, she back off, saying she can do it anyway, but instead she made a frog.

The sequence is amazing btw. The CGI is really on point here :D

The paper container too is delightfully designed. Along with the sunscreen panels at the background

The set design and the headdress. Its amazing. Look at the Peach blossom background :D. And I enjoyed her acting a lot. She displays the right amount of mischievousness here :D

Our princess met with her brother and to cheer her up, her brother shows her a painting he obtained. She said the painting is fine but not worth two to three thousand coins.

Yeap. It looks like regular drawing even from my POV. But I hope whoever drawing this is not offended T_T (based on TMOPB the artist will normally on set whenever their artwork is shown)

He asks her to look at it carefully. Soon the garden turns into winter, and winter plum blossom starts blooming, and sometime later it turns back to normal. She excitedly asks him where he obtains the painting. He told her he obtained it from the famed painter, Gongzi Qi (公子齐).

Cue hilarity ensured of Gongzi Qi being synonymous with celebrity, full-on with fans dying to have his artwork and to see him, and her brother the prince being very excited to obtain one. While looking for the artist, a scroll appears on his hand and he looks both happy and confused.

Here’s how he describes Gongzi Qi:

Gongzi Qi, he was rumoured to be extremely handsome, with one of the kind drawing skills. He was rumoured to apply rare immortal spells to his artwork.

She muses that man is too proud. And if Gonzi Qi said his art skills are his second-best skill, then his music skills should be out of the world. Her brother said he wrote a song titled East Wind Peach Blossom Flower .. nope it's half a song not a full song (WTF XD) and he refuses to write the other half, saying that no dancer will be able to dance this song (I see you Gongzi Qi, you are tempting her). Indeed our princess is up to the challenge and asks her brother to request him to finish the song so she can dance to it.

The siblings then visit their cousin, where her brother advises her not to be rude. Apparently their aunt and cousin are attending their mom’s 40th birthday celebration.

After greetings and praises, the two women throwing barbs at each other, we know that Xuan Zhu (玄珠，the cousin) recently start to learn immortal skills under a mysterious teacher. Their barbs become a quarrel, causing their companions to try to rein them in. Yan Yan excuses herself. The quarrel continues as both are tugging a purple handkerchief.

A man came in. Yan Yan seems to be jealous that this guy (Zuo Zi Chen, 左紫辰) seems to come here to visit Xuan Zhu. He clarifies that he is here on behalf of his father to see her cousins. She instantly brightens up and let him go.

OK, first crush? And guy seems to be interested.

At the court, the King seems to be really worried about Tian Yuan, as they have usurped three countries around Dali. He is also worried as his prime minister Zuo (Zi Chen dad) applies for retirement at this time due to health. He announces that he will pay a visit to Prime Minister Zuo.

Our Prime Minister seems quite healthy (healthier than the king!!) and performs some ritual that's clearly demonic.

This is performed in front of a satan like figure. That's demonic even in Taoist book right?

Our prince got the sheet music, but with a bet from Gongzi Qi: She must be able to perform it, else he will make her a laughing stock. While visiting the prime minister, she took the opportunity to visit Zi Chen. She blocks him from visiting the king. Instead, she wants him to ask him something on the new music sheet she obtained since he is extremely good with music.

uwuuw the music sheets are so pretty

Zi Chen was amazed since he never saw such complicated tunes. There is a catch though. The verse she pointed out is rather bloody and will cause the audience and the performer to feel very sad, totally inappropriate for a birthday celebration. He answers the way to go is to change the tunes from a sad tone to a happy one.

Girl is clearly enamored with him and his skills. He turned around and ask whether his modified tunes sounds right. She thinks it's great. And she gifted him a hairpin, helping him to wear the new hairpin. She finishes pining the hairpin and touches his face. He reciprocates by grabbing her hand tenderly

OMG I must say this scene is so well done. Very tender, and little words need to be said.

After she left, his father looks for him. He looks anything but friendly. He asks whether he knew the reason the king came. Oh gosh, the prince is way too naive. His father is clearly plotting about something. But he is a young man in the midst of meeting his first love, maybe that's why he didn't catch on the shenanigans.

The Princess is totally unaware of the plot tho, she happily shares her joy with her maid, Aman and hoping for the day Zi Chen will marry her. She also declares that she will be able to conquer the tough music sheets and it will prove Zi Chen's musicality is superior to Gongzi Qi.

At night Gongzi Qi visited her, leaving her a note. She wakes up and declared again that she will win their bet. Gongzi Qi hears her in the court garden and leaves with a smile.

It seems like the budget is spent on the prince wardrobe. His gear looks very natural and menacing ha. But the candles deco is totally inferior to TMOPB Ye Hua house. Maybe the Demon People are saving the $ for war?

Yan Yan dance is stellar, she interprets the music sheets beautifully, with peach blossoms,snow and leaves. The audience including her brother, Zi Chen, and Gongzi Qi are amazed.

Oh wow the music is wonderful. It reminds me of TMOPB EP30 Peach blossom scene OST - the warm and sweet feel kinda touch. And the dance is shot beautifully. Although I think some of the dance moves are done by a professional dancer? Not a problem imo since one of the most beautiful performances in cdrama history is choreographed by a dancer.

And YESSSS.... his wardrobe is really on point here and the angles the cinematographer take is really good. He is not your conventionally attractive lead so I understand that some angles will not stand out. Kudos to the production team!

The dance ended and Gongzi Qi was shocked that she changed the ending of his sheet music. HA, SO YOU KNOW SHE IS GONNA PERFORM AT HER MUM’S BIRTHDAY BASH PARTY AND YOU WRITE HER A BLOODY TUNE? lmao he is pissed and serves him right XD. And what's wrong with your bestie XD? He seems to have a tendency to pine after a married woman.

They met Shifu who seems to be their ShiXiong (Elder brother disciple). Shifu reminded Gonzi Qi that since he is an immortal, he shouldn’t involve with mortal matters especially when Yan Yan is still very young. Gongzi Qi asks if he insists on doing it? Shifu replied that her fate has been decided and he shouldn’t go against fate. He seems to accept that decree and he hands over a huge scroll of painting, requesting Shifu to pass it to her.

Note: The reason why Shifu is able to involve is that he owes a debt to the Dali Royal family per the book.

At night the city is being attacked, and Yan Yan wakes up feeling happy and refreshed. She saw the painting scroll, both her and her maid marvelled at the painting and she told her maid that she wants to go outside alone to visit Zi Chan.

Meanwhile, Zi Chan father sent his son away “ For praying in the temple. Do request for glory at Royal Court”. His son wonders as his dad will not need it because he is retiring. His dad replies smoothly that it’s for Zi Chan. Zi Chan wanted to pray for his father’s health, and his father praised him lightly, sending him away. Looks like he is sending him away for safety.

COMMENTS

I have been waiting for this drama for some time, and luckily they are no longer stuck in broadcasting hell. This EP has a lot to unpack, introducing the background and characters. I feel this EP wonderfully introduces multiple characters while making Yan Yan and Zi Chan characters unique. Yan Yan character is sweet while slightly spoiled, she is still very charming herself, and have all the characteristics of a well-loved high born lady. Zi Chan too stands out as the highly ranked son, with his politeness and his crush with Yan Yan being really subtle. Plot-wise it is interesting and hopefully, the revenge plot won’t be too over the top later. The drama is also not afraid to insert some modern jokes (AHEM CELEBRITY ARTIST) while feeling super natural in doing so.

The magic spells they introduce are fairly unique too (paper magic) which can be quite handy. The brief introduction of paper cranes and paper frogs are delightful. The costumes are delightful too. One of the difficulties of cdrama production is making costumes natural relative to the period and making it beautiful. I love Zi Chan wardrobe here because he looks great in it while not making him too prince-like. Likewise I like that Gongzi Qi wardrobe are slightly more fancier than a normal immortal /Taoist disciple (YEAH HIS WEIRDASS WAYS) but not that fancy.

I think one of the downsides for this drama is the set production. Some of the sets like the snow scene are totally beautiful, while at some parts its so obvious the wood is made of plastic, or the garden looks too tropical. That being said I understand cdrama fantasy budgets are tight + high likelihood of delayed broadcasting, so these downsides are relatively minor, plus the cinematography team is killing it, so I think in overall any fan of xianxia should watch it.

#the killing of three crows #三千鸦杀 #cdrama #recap #review #thoughts #the killing of three thousand crows

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thebibliomancer · 4 years ago

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Essential Avengers: Avengers #212: Men of Deadly Pride!

October, 1981

Here they are -- the new Avengers!

But not the New Avengers (the difference is that the hairy monster they have is Tigra instead of Wolverine).

And they are having difficulty.

I don’t know what they did to piss off Galadriel over here (I mean yes I do, she says it right on the cover) but she is kicking their asses.

A dark queen indeed.

Not much to actually say about the cover. Uh, the composition looks neat! There we go. A thing.

So lets jump inside.

Where in a moody dawn scene, Jarvis walks alone through a nearly empty Avengers mansion, little knowing he is being stalked until

RAWWR! IT IS CAT!

Tigra jumps out to do him a startle.

C’mon, Tigra. Be nice.

You’re the only Avenger actually staying in the mansion so try not to terrorize the butler.

And he was bringing you a glass of milk for your breakfast!

Although he says that he’s dealt with a lot of unsettling things and he’s learned to maintain him composure. He didn’t even spill a drop.

Jarvis: “I must say, madame, that I find you rather more unsettling than our previous resident Avengers!”

Tigra: “Oh? You a cat-lover, Jarv?”

AND DON’T FLIRT WITH HIM EITHER TIGRA GEEZ

Poor Jarvis is even allergic to cats which seems to include giant cat women.

Jarvis asks how she got this way, prompting Tigra to give a very laconic backstory that once there was a human Greer Nelson who got almost dead and then the cat-people saved her life by turning her into a cat-person.

Tigra: “And, so, here I am, one pretty kitty! But, c’mon, Jarv, does it matter how I got this sexy?”

Jarvis clarifies that he meant how she got this way as in her upbringing. Like, why you so rude.

I guess I’ll just be grateful that this is just playful Tigra flirtiness as opposed to ‘i must make out with someone 24/7 oh hey a supervillain sure I’ll make you with you’ hypersexuality she’d have while on the West Coast Avengers, in the future.

Elsewhere, Tony Stark is decompressing from his one night stand, Teri. Admiring her very comfy couch, grateful that she’s still asleep so he can sneak out (Tony, you cad), and lamenting being on the wagon. When all that’s left to drink is scotch, bourbon, and half a can of warm, flat Dr. Pepper, you drink that Dr. Pepper if you’re Tony Stark.

Tony calls his secretary to have a janitorial crew clean up after the party and to send up a dozen roses for Teri.

And then he flies out the window as Iron Man, the Man Who Kisses and Runs! as Teri wakes up and is like ‘hey tonykins what the hell was that whooshing sound?’

Tony, you cad.

And elsewhere meanwhile, Steve Rogers wakes up promptly at six o’clock in the damn morning bright as the sun and raring to go. Disgusting. Truly disgusting.

I joked about Steve getting up at 6 to run ten miles and whatever because of him criticizing Beast that time but its sickening to see it in action.

Anyway, after he damn sings in the shower like the perky morning man he is, he bounces out the window to the first Avengers meeting since the roster shake-up, musing how little they know about Tigra and how he’ll have to keep an eye on her because he doesn’t know if she’ll crack under pressure or not.

And then onto, ok wow, we are just having full pages of individual Avengers going about their mornings.

So we’re onto Normal Human Man Dr. Donald Blake reaching the end of the night shift he just pulled at a hospital.

Nurse Wilson pretty blatantly flirts with him (thinking to herself “C’mon, doc! Notice that I’m a woman! I dare you!”). Normal Human Man Dr. Donald Blake doesn’t seem to notice but his thoughts are on her, wishing he could take her out for lunch but that he has important Avengers business.

He then taps his walking stick and transforms into Thor and flies off towards the mansion.

And that brings us to Cresskill where Janet van Dyne aka the Wasp and Hank Pym aka Yellowjacket are going about their morning.

Befitting her blase attitude last issue, Jan just wants to stay in bed longer and cuddle but Hank is desperate not to be late to his first meeting as a newly active Avenger again.

So he’s in costume and ready to go while she’s still choosing which of her many many costumes to wear. Albeit with the ulterior motive that she’s trying to look good for him. She does put in like 90% of the effort into the relationship.

So she’s narrowed her choices down to a red and blue costume and a green and purple outfit that looks like maybe she raided the Green Goblin’s wardrobe. She asks Hank to decide for her.

And he does. In a sense.

He blasts the green and purple number to shreds and yells “Wear the other one!” and when she protests the destruction of her stuff he goes “So what? Like you said you’ve got lots!”

Hmm. We haven’t seen Hank in a while. And he didn’t talk much last issue what with all the Moondragoning. But he’s taken a bit of a level in being a jackass.

And then on the ride to the mansion, the limo gets stuck in traffic.

Yellowjacket: “That does it! You can ride in your blasted chauffeured limo so your two-hundred dollar hair-do doesn’t get mussed -- but I’m flying to Avengers Mansion under my own power!”

And then he ditches. He ditches hard. Leaving Wasp to fly after him begging him to wait.

You’re a bit of a rude, Hank.

Like Hank feared, the two do arrive late to the meeting and he is gently ribbed by sudden class clown Captain America.

Captain America: “Well, look who’s finally here! Now the Wasp has arrived with her new partner -- uh, Yellowjacket, right? We can get started!”

Is funny joke. Its been a time so they’re pretending he’s a new guy and ha ha he’s being described as Wasp’s partner instead of vice versa. What an upset.

And it is an upset. Tigra notices what the other Avengers seem to miss, that Cap’s joke just pissed Yellowjacket off.

And its not helped when Cap mentions that its time to elect a new chairman but Iron Man interrupts to say that he and Thor have agreed that its better for Cap to remain chairman. They did just reorganize the roster and all. Some stability is fine.

Thor: “We choose to waive the elections! Such is our right as founding members!”

And this sets Yellowjacket right the hell off.

Yellowjacket: “Is that so? Well, I resent not being consulted! As the Ant Man I was a founding member, too!”

Iron Man: “uh, of course Hank... you and the Wasp! But you came in late... we’d already decided...”

Yeah! The Wasp too!

But Yellowjacket has some kind of insect in his bonnet and he yells that he’s done being forgotten and treated as a has-been while Janet just silently cringes. She wonders what’s happened to the man she loves. And why he won’t let her reach him anymore.

The meeting continues but the scene transitions.

To a cottage in an isolated glade among the wooded hills of Virginia. Where the olde talking power couple of Gorn and Linnea wake up. Linnea wants to lay in bed with Gorn a while longer but he decides NAY TIME TO GET UP NOW.

Hey wait.

Hmmm.

I’m sensing... thematic parallels. I’m sure its nothing, though.

Anyway, Gorn is tired of living a quiet idyllic life in a beautiful glade with a woman who dearly loves him, as they’ve done for ten thousand years. His dander is up and he wants battles to fight and glory to win! He’s tired of being safe in the glade, protected by Linnea’s power. He’s a warrior, not a farmer!

(I see no evidence of farming around the cottage, just saying)

And since its either be ditched or go with him, Linnea decides to go with him.

Gorn: “You are beautiful in that gown, Linnea. Men shall again call you Elf-Queen as they did in ancient days!”

Linnea/Elf-Queen: “They also called me witch and devil-spawn! They are ever so cruel to my kind!”

Gorn: “Aye, and once we fled them! This time, if we must, we shall fight them!”

Ah, geez, Gorn. The cover implies this won’t go well for you.

So Gorn and Elf-Queen, him on foot and her on horseback) wander into Washington DC literally looking for trouble.

But before trouble, something to eat. Looking for an inn, they wander into a random restaurant.

Gorn, being Gorn, immediately starts yelling at the maitre d’, who he assumes is the innkeeper.

And here’s a bit of an interesting and not often used touch. Even though all speech bubbles are rendered without <> as is sometimes used to denote someone speaking a different language, Gorn and Elf-Queen Linnea are in fact speaking an ancient language.

Nobody can understand a thing they say.

And they can’t understand modern English.

This is a perfect setup for some farce.

Gorn ends up just yelling that he wants food and the maitre d’ gets the gist even though he doesn’t understand the words. This is Washington DC. A lot of people from other countries wander through. So he shows them to a table.

Linnea and Gorn decide that the maitre d’ is probably the innkeeper’s idiot brother. I mean, that’s probably why he can’t understand normal language, right?

And there’s more culture shock to be had. Linnea is realizing how differently dressed everyone is in this era. None of the men are even wielding swords!

Elf-Queen Linnea: “And the women, Gorn -- ! The way they’re dressed --! Like -- like harlots!”

Gorn: “Aye! Hmmm...” -totally staring at a butt and not paying attention-

Linnea: “Gorn... ?! I-if we stay here... would you like me to dress so? I do not know if I can learn the ways of these women... but for you my love, I would try! Gorn... ?”

Gorn: “Mmm...” -still not paying attention-

Linnea: (Oh, Gorn! For ten thousand years we have dwelt together in solitude, as one in our love! Am I to lose you now, here in this city of temptresses?)

Hmmm.... this reminds me of something.... but what?

A Barry Kaplan interrupts her inferiority anxiety by coming up and trying to hire her as a fashion model.

And neither Barry nor Linnea can understand each other still.

But she senses something of his intentions and warns him that this isn’t a good idea since she’s sitting next to a warrior and all.

Barry is like ‘maybe if I try other languages?’

And then Gorn notices. And Gorn is displeased.

Gorn: “NO ONE TOUCHES GORN’S WOMAN!”

Barry: “I warn you, I’ve had six jiu-jitsu lessons!”

Wow!

So Gorn gets up from that and just bodily lifts the guy over his head (Barry lamenting that he dropped out before jiu-jitsu lesson seven). But if you get the barbarian or warrior dropped into a modern setting trope they’re usually just way better than any soft modern man. So its funny to see this random dink get the better of Gorn, even if its just the preamble to what would have been Gorn delivering a thorough beatdown.

Its just not what you expect to see in this story.

Linnea magics Barry out of Gorn’s hands, trying to defuse the situation but Gorn interprets the situation as her ‘unmanning’ him.

Gorn: “Why, Linnea? Why do you seek to unman me? Is it not enough that your power has preserved my youth and kept me for centuries? Must you now interfere in my battles?”

Linnea meekly apologizes.

And then the maitre d’ comes pissed off that this loud, shouting weirdo started a fight and is going to call the police on them. Until Linnea goes ‘oh right we should pay for the damage we caused’ and gives the maitre d’ a gold and diamond necklace.

And the maitre d’ mentally goes cha-ching and reroutes an order about to be served to give to the big spending non-English speaking weirdos.

When Gorn and Elf-Queen finally leave the restaurant wouldn’t you know it, someone stole their damn horse!

What kind of city is it where you can’t leave a horse tied to a parking meter without someone making off with it??

Linnea once again is like ‘hey lets go home to our nice glade where nobody ever stole our horse’

Gorn: “It is your home, Linnea, where I am but a guest -- nay, a pet kept by your grace. Ages ago, I was a renowed warrior, honored and feared by nations and kings! If I am to be a man in my own eyes I must regain the glory I once knew!”

And then a cop comes up to Gorn because you can’t just carry a sword around Washington DC.

Gorn: “Eh? His words are gibberish but the intent is clear! This blue-clad warrior issues me a challenge! Have at thee scoundr- AHH!”

And then the cop just maces Gorn.

Its not funny like the talent agent tossing him into a salad bowl because: cops. Its still a little funny because: Gorn.

Anyway, while Gorn is screaming and coughing the cop just slaps some handcuffs on him.

And Linnea magics the cop away from her boyfriend and worries over him.

Given this new horrible thing that has happened to them, another in a line of horrible things happening to them once they left their home, Linnea begs Gorn again to give up this quest to fight a random thing to make himself feel manly.

Linnea: “I am so worried, Gorn! The world has grown so strange! There is so much here that we do not understand! Please, let us go back before something terrible befalls us!”

He again refuses and she asks if he would die for his pride.

So he slaps her across the face.

And after all that she’s meekly gone along with his whims and tantrums and whatever else ways to describe Gorn’s exceptionally gornish way of being, she draws the line here.

Linnea: “Go ahead, Gorn -- stay! Win your stupid ‘glory’! I do not care! Farewell!”

And she just walks away into the sky, twinkle, because she can do that.

When she’s too far to hear he whispers an apology but its too late and he sadly trudges off alone into the city.

Wow, that was six pages of just Gorn and Linnea, Elf-Queen. That’s nearly a fourth of the whole issue! We spend a lot of time with these two new characters!

Back at Avengers Mansion, Iron Man and Yellowjacket prep the Quinjet to fly.

Wasp: “You mean we’re going all the way to Washington, D.C. just because somebody there claims they saw a woman walking on air? What’s new about that? I do it every time my sweetie Hank gives me a wink! Then, again, they do have some wonderful stores there! Last time I went there I bought six fur coats!”

Tigra: “Sounds expensive! I’m lucky! Mine’s built in!”

Iron Man chimes in that the air-walking woman also assaulted a cop so clearly this looks like a job for the Avengers.

But when they finish up checking the Quinjet, Yellowjacket says that he’s discovered the ‘sonomodulator circuit’ on his disruptor gun is acting up.

He’s pretty sure he can fix it but Wasp chimes in with a more different idea.

Wasp: “I’ll just ring up Jeeves over at the East Side Penthouse! He can grab one of those doohickies from your lab there and zip right over in the limo! It’ll just take a few minutes!”

Yellowjacket: “You love doing that, don’t you? You love taking every opportunity to flaunt your blasted money! Well, I don’t need your butlers, your cars or your money -- and I don’t need you!”

And Wasp runs off crying that she only wanted to help. Yellowjacket storms into the Quinjet telling the other Avengers to forget Wasp and get going.

Making the other Avengers feel very awkward about witnessing this fight. Cap even feels as if he should do something but doesn’t know what since its a personal matter.

A suggestion? Mandated couples counseling since this kind of thing could affect the team, will be the reason you give? Like. This clearly is something that’s going to cause trouble. Get ahead of it, Cap.

Meanwhile, back in Washington D.C. because yes Gorn didn’t just walk out of the book forever alone. He walked into a very honestly uncomfortably stereotypical gang who decide hey maybe we should mug that guy with the sword, it’ll probably pawn for something.

Gorn still can’t understand a thing anyone says but they’re carrying weapons and finally here’s a situation he understands. And finally he also doesn’t get played for a chump. He just wades into the crowd of six and starts laying them out with his bare hands.

This is what you’d typically see for a warrior type dropped into modern world thing.

Oh and then the cops hear the fight and go hey its that guy with the sword that there was an APB about.

And Gorn goes, hey its guys wearing the same livery of the guy that got me with that stinging vapor. Time to run at them with a sword.

So they shoot him five times.

And he dies.

It turns out that Linnea has been watching Gorn from a distance this whole time, apparently unwilling to actually ditch. So she sees him get gunned down.

She floats down from the sky to his side and realizes that he is already dead. The cops mistake sky woman for an angel (but there was an APB out for Gorn so why didn’t the flying woman warrant a mention?) but if Linnea is, she’s an avenging one.

She turns on the cops with her magic and makes them sink up to their necks into the concrete.

Elf-Queen: “Are you begging? It is for naught! He’s dead! DEAD! My love is dead -- and this city, this world shall PAY!”

And she turns her magic on Washington D.C., blasting a building and a helicopter, lashing out in grief at the world that killed her dickbag boyfriend.

This is when the Avengers finally arrive to the Plot, in this Avengers book.

The Avengers just see someone breaking property and go to stop her.

Captain America: “Avengers... attack!”

Of course, Tony being Tony, and kind of a loose man immediately gets distracted at the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

Iron Man: “Excuse me, miss! Couldn’t we discuss whatever’s bothering you... say, over dinner at the diplomat club?”

Its... not a bad idea. A little bit of empathy. Its just his motive that’s bad.

And also, his inability to speak ancient languages. Elf-Queen still can’t understand a thing anyone says. She does think a flying man in armor is something Gorn would have liked. But that just makes her mad.

So she magics a railing to wrap up Iron Man.

Thor grabs Elf-Queen from behind, pulling her arm behind her back. Its strikingly reminiscent of the Standard Female Grab Area trope but Elf-Queen doesn’t believe in that trope.

Elf-Queen: “You are strong, jackal! Your strength might have been enough to hold even me -- had you not presumed I was as frail as I appear!”

And she throws Thor into what is probably a monument.

Hmm, Iron Man and Thor got dunked so far because they really underestimated this woman because she’s a woman. Maybe don’t do that?

Meanwhile, Yellowjacket is thinking that this is his chance to prove what a star he is, if he’s the one that takes the threat down with his disruptor blast.

While Elf-Queen distracts herself with the dropped Mjolnir, Yellowjacket tries to shoot her with his disruptor from behind.

But it shorts out again!

Maybe he should have gotten the replacement part instead of trying to jury-rig a repair!

Elf-Queen senses the power in Mjolnir and tries to pick it up to better smash the world but finds she can’t lift it.

She guesses that there’s some enchantment on it since it doesn’t crumble the ground beneath it.

So she magics the ground to form a hand to grab and lift Mjolnir.

And then she hits Thor in the face with his own hammer. Hah.

Another for the list of silly Mjolnir loopholes.

Linnea monologues about her backstory because. Look. She may not be a villain. And people may not be able to understand a word she says. But people in comics have to comic.

Elf-Queen: “I am Linnea, called Elf Queen and great is the power I was born with! It transported my love and me across the ocean to this land ages ago in search of solitude! It preserved our youth! It kept us hidden when civilization spread its taint hither! The forces, forms and sustenance of the world bend to my will -- but all my power cannot help my Gorn now! Now, my gift serves only as a means for vengeance!”

Iron Man manages to tear free of the railing wrapped around him just as Tigra loudly pounces at Elf-Queen.

And Elf-Queen just gestures and sends Tigra flying into the air. High, high into the air. So high, so into the air that Iron Man has to fly after her to make sure Tigra doesn’t end up asphyxiating in space.

With all of the other Avengers out of action (or standing around uselessly like Yellowjacket), Elf-Queen turns out wrath on Captain America.

She blasts a building, sending a whole wall at him.

Cap dodges through the rain of rubble and berates himself. He realizes that he should have attacked sooner but he’s been holding back, trying to figure things out.

She’s speaking a language that doesn’t sound like any he knows of. Her clothes seem to be of ancient design. And he’s wondering if she maybe just popped out of the past, somehow surviving from some age undreamt of.

And hey, relatable, kinda. He spent decades in suspended animation.

Elf-Queen throws a lake of fire between her and Cap and Cap figures hey she’ll expect me to go around. So he jumps over it, doing her a startle.

Cap: “Good! I took her completely off guard! This is a perfect chance -- to show her that we want only peace!”

So he stands in front of her, hands to his side, palms showing. Showing no aggression.

Elf-Queen: “You did not strike when you had the opportunity! I could slay you easily now! Unflinchingly you face death! How like... my Gorn... my brave warrior!”

The fight could have ended here. Could. Could have. Could’ve.

Because Yellowjacket has been focused entirely on fixing his disruptor this whole time and has not paid any attention to how the fight has been going.

So when he gets the disruptor fixed, he doesn’t think ‘oh hey Cap is standing there and nobody is currently fighting!’ he thinks ‘wow this is a really easy shot’ and shoots Elf-Queen in the back.

And turns out that Linnea - a person who can toss Thor around - can also weather a disruptor. So she’s just mad. Furiously.

She figures that Cap’s courage was just a bold ruse. So she’s going to kill him. AFTER she throws a car at Yellowjacket.

Yellowjacket: “Oh, no! My sting’s shorted out again! No time to dodge! I’ll be crushed!”

But before Hank can be crushed like some kind of insect, can’t really think of a specific example, he is saved by Jan, who comes out of nowhere and blasts the car away with all of her might.

And apparently car blasting is under that umbrella.

But it takes it out of her and she weakly flutters to the ground.

Hank has mixed feelings about not being dead.

Yellowjacket: “You -- you saved me! You shattered the truck with your bio-electric sting! You saved me! You! She must have followed us down here... probably chartered a plane! She followed us down here, and when I was dead meat for sure, she saved me! Why her? WHY?”

Where are you in your life where you have to ask that, Hank?

Elf-Queen is like well that just happened but I’m just going to try to kill him again.

But Cap jumps in front of her again and very assertively non-aggressives.

Captain America: “Don’t do it! Don’t you see? It was a mistake -- an accident! If only you could understand me! Don’t kill him!”

Elf-Queen: “You dare stand in my way? Can you not see the rage in my eyes?”

But nonetheless, she subsides. The Avengers all re-assemble, ready to rush her but Cap tells them to stand down.

Elf-Queen Linnea starts crying and just walks away from the team.

Feeling a bit awkward, Cap decides to follow her to see what’s what. And they find her crying over Gorn.

Thor: “A fallen warrior! Her husband, perchance?”

Captain America: “Somehow I -- I think I knew! I mean... I’m not surprised! She seemed... grief-stricken!”

Iron Man: “I -- I wonder how this all came to pass?”

They’ll probably never know. The shot isn’t wide enough to say for sure but I think that if the Avengers saw, they’d say. I’m pretty sure those cops Linnea sank into the concrete have finished sinking. So it goes.

Cap says he’s sorry for what happened, knowing that his words will probably mean nothing to her. Language gap and all.

Linnea: “I hear compassion in your voice, brave champion! Is there such a thing in this cold, cruel place, save in your own heart? I cannot forgive your world for what it has taken from me.. but, for you, who are so much alike my beloved... for you, I will go in peace... for now!”

Yeah. She’s never coming back.

This is her and Gorn’s only appearance.

So despite Tigra wondering if she’ll be back and despite Iron Man’s suspicion that she might be a mutant, it doesn’t matter.

She’s done her role in the narrative and she’s gone.

But as the Avengers try to figure out what this was all about, Wasp looks at Yellowjacket with worry. For the issue ends with him still consumed in bitter thoughts and oblivious to Wasp.

And the big next time teaser says COURT MARTIAL! so. Yeah.

We’re coming on to a storyline that anyone who knows at least two things about Hank Pym knows. You probably already know it or will be able to guess it.

I was familiar with this story but only the moment where Hank shoots Elf-Queen in the back and makes things worse for himself. I hadn’t absorbed via osmosis how much of a shit he was being throughout. And nobody ever talks about Gorn.

Which is a shame.

The title of the issue comes right out and connects the obvious dots.

“Men of deadly pride!”

And that can only be Hank Pym and Gorn.

Much of this issue doesn’t actually feature the Avengers. There’s this long stretch in the middle that just has Gorn and Linnea leaving their home, traveling to the big city, Gorn’s attitude getting worse and worse, and finally his death.

Its clear enough that Gorn represents Hank Pym.

Hank rails against Janet for flaunting her money and emotionally withdraws from her and even becomes angry with her. He rankles at the idea he might be perceived her partner instead of vice versa. Feels he’s not being given the respect he deserves.

While Gorn resents that Linnea is the one caring for him. He emotionally withdraws from her. He perceives himself a pet to her. That he was once renowned and desperately needs to regain his glory.

And he just gets angrier when Linnea has to rescue him from his dumb mistakes.

Much like Jan had to rescue Hank in this issue, something that basically made Hank check out of the rest of the issue.

I don’t know what Gorn may have been like ten thousand years ago that Linnea sees him in Captain America most, but he’s a shadow for Hank Pym.

And what’s interesting is how the story looks at Gorn and his machismo. His obsessive preoccupation with proving himself. The story highlights the problems he creates for himself eventually leading to his death. It shows a person that just can’t live in the modern world.

And then the story looks at Hank Pym. One of the 60s style manly men holdovers. Paints him in much the same light. And seems to ask. “Can you live in the modern world?”

The question is in the air.

Its not particularly deep symbolism. But it surprised me that nobody ever mentions it.

Interestingly, if Hank is Gorn then Jan is Linnea. Their personalities are different enough that this might seem strange.

But they both draw the line in a similar place with their partners.

And there was a What If? based on this issue What If? #35 where Hank did die, much as Gorn did. And Wasp became an avenging angel of her own. Taking the identity of Black Wasp and brutally attacking criminals.

She even contemplates letting Cap be killed by falling debris, blaming him for Hank’s death.

All I can say is that this has been one awkward first day for Tigra.

Follow @essential-avengers. Like or reblog this post. Stay tuned for more of this sort of thing.

#Avengers #Elf Queen and Gorn #Yellowjacket #the Wasp #Captain America #essential avengers #Thor #Iron Man #Tigra #essential marvel liveblogging #tigra has a very cat first day #Jarvis not even drop #some thematic similarities happen and they're unfavorable to hank #captain america uses that empathy #its super effective #shooter ain't wasting any time

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berkcwitz · 5 years ago

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❛ ✶ ( madison beer, cisfemale, she/her ) spotted ! jalissa berkowitz was spotted singing along to find my way by dababy in hilton grove . you’ve heard of them right ? they are a twenty two year old pornographic actress / internet personality who has already amassed a net worth of 550m . you should really follow them on insta @callmejalissa , they’re about to hit 89m followers . the tabloids have been calling them the vixen because they are known for being whimsical but also a bit abrasive . though most people recognize them by a drunken gaze staring into the mirror as she holds finger guns to her head , a laugh too contagious , leaving notes in lipstick on bathroom mirrors & echoing of her mothers longtime disapproval . — ooc info ( mia. twenty. est. she/her. )

GUYYYSSSS ?! this group ? a masterpiece , wow . im hella excited to get to roleplay with you all . im mia by the way , im twenty ( i’ll be 21 in june what a vibe ) & i live in the est ( a clam chowder eating , dunkin donuts chugging , no Rs havin , boston sports loving new englander ). also i go by she/her pronouns ! i am going to be so honest with you guys . this intro is dummy long . like , i promise i will not judge you if you hmu asking for a quick synopsis of my girl because this shit below this cut ? is a novella & a half , sis . if im very honest i really just needed to flesh her out completely because she’s a new baby of mine ? and i wanted to make sure i really knew her before i put her out on the dash . im so anal about this , i know . anyways , before this little note section gets as long as the intro without further a do ? adu ? idfk ... here’s jalissa , she’s ... a piece of work . also if you'd prefer to plot on discord hmu @ 𝖒𝖌𝖐'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#9789 .

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇

full name: jalissa billie-jean berkowitz nickname: lissa , jals , jb , berks , jalissa cadden ( porn name ) birthday: october 13th birthplace: fort lauderdale , florida hometown: hilton grove residence: hilton grove nationality: american ( est. 1997 through birth ) , british ( est. 1997 automatically a citizen due to mother’s citizenship , passport was claimed est. 2012 ) ethnicity: askenazi jewish ( maternal & paternal , 100% ) religion: judaism orientation: pansexual , panromantic ( she never really came out per say , people just kind of know she’s attracted to all genders . her family is very religious and she’s very involved with her synagogue so she’s made the choice not the necessarily put a label on her sexuality but is open about loving people no matter gender ) languages spoken: english ( fluent , first language ) , yiddish ( fluent , second language ) , spanish ( fluent , third language ) , german ( conversational , fourth language ) . father: henry christian berkowitz ( 50 years old ) was born & raised in fort lauderdale , florida by a politician / banking heir & talk show host / philanthropist . henry himself went on to follow in his father’s footsteps and serve as a us senator for two terms & currently is the ceo of berkowitz capital . ( relationship: it’s never been perfect but the love is clear in the relationship & he’s been much better at being supportive of her in recent years . certainly a daddy’s little girl even when you do wrong you can’t do much wrong type of situation ) mother : austen sylvia rachelson-berkowitz ( 48 years old ) was born & raised in westminster , england up until her teens when she & her mother moved to washington dc after her mother had become the incumbent uk ambassador to the united states . austen was crowned miss usa at the age of 20 & later went on to follow in her families long time involvement in politics ( holding former offices as a us representative as well as governor for two terms ) . today she spends much of her time putting her law degree to work on criminal cases . ( relationship: they’ve never been close & have never quite seen eye to eye . since jalissa was nineteen she & her mom haven’t said more than ten words to one another & if they have it’s never necessarily positive ) brother: kenneth patrick berkowitz ( 24 years old ) was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . he shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples first born & only son . kenneth is following in the berkowitz footsteps & is heading the uk sector for berkowitz capital since graduating from columbia university a couple years back . ( relationship: the two siblings have always been close. they had a similar friend group growing up & alot of the same interests . they’re still rather close to this day despite being countries away from one another ) sister: sariah rachel berkowitz ( 19 years old ) was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . she shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples last born . sariah currently attends stanford university where she’s on a pre med track . ( relationship: the two were often at each other’s necks growing up . mostly because how similar they are to one another . as of recently the two have grown close , though , with sariah fessing up to looking up to her older sister ) social class: upper education: highschool diploma ( hilton grove highschool g. 2015 ) career: youtuber ( from 2014-present ) , pornographic actress ( from 2016-present ) , podcaster (from 2018-present ) notoriety: being apart of the prominent berkowitz family , having one of the top 10 most watched pornographic movies , her podcast with her best friend tickets to our downfall & her youtube channel callmejalissa . weight: 122lbs height: 5′4″ hair color: brown ( with blonde highlights ) eye color: hazel ( wears blue contacts sometimes ) positive traits: whimsical , astute , extroverted , affectionate , quick , intelligent , friendly , ambitious , passionate , humorous , loyal , compassionate , effervescent negative traits: opportunistic , recalcitrant , hypocritical , vain , critical , stubborn , distant , sneaky , abrasive , sarcastic , obsessive , vengeful , reckless , arrogant likes: black coffee , birthday parties , lying , sunshine , baby pink , glossy lips , gossiping , stand up comedy , sunkissed skin , dogs , peanut butter , popping champagne bottles , driving with the windows down , swimming , mimosas , oversized sweaters , taco bell , cranberry juice , makeup , football , cosmetic work , arguing , online shopping , exotic foods , jewelry the price of a car , fresh berries , roller skating dislikes: liars , driving in the snow , her mother , jelly , basketball , bad drivers , when people lie about their cosmetic work , sushi , hateful people , disloyalty , overly emotional people , romance , being alone , astrology enthusiasts , hospitals , silence , cheap perfume , criticism , traffic , being late , red wine , short hair , anything banana or grape flavored hobbies: reading magazines , dancing to her newly curated playlist in the mirror , gossiping with her grandparents , video editing , meddling , going for brunch , goat yoga , drinking alcohol while snuggled up in bed , painting alternate universe cartoons , attending big soirees , making impulsive decisions , smoking weed , sleepovers with her closest friends , suntanning on yacht decks , late night instagram lives , marilyn monroe movie marathons chara inspo: kourtney kardashian , emily nelson ( a simple favor ) , tan france ( queer eye ) , evie zamora ( thirteen ) , rebekah mikaelson ( the vampire diaries ) , jennifer check ( jennifer’s body ) , gabrielle solis ( desperate housewives ) , regina george ( mean girls ) , lucifer morningstar ( lucifer ) , kathryn merteuli ( cruel intentions ) , veronica lodge ( riverdale ) , chanel oberlin ( scream queens ) , samantha jones ( sex and the city ) , andie anderson ( how to lose a guy in 10 days ) , blair waldorf ( gossip girl ) , naomi lapaglia ( wolf of wall street ) , maddy perez ( euphoria ) , kat hernandez ( euphoria ) fashion inspo: fran drescher , bella hadid , alex chung , madison beer , romee strijd , kendall jenner , selena gomez career inspo: tana mongeau , jordan lipscombe , sofia franklyn , alexdandra cooper , lana rhodes , abella danger headcanons: she has one hundred percent smashed the windows in an exes car , she drives a black range rover , vandalized an exes home before , says “ harely quinn is my spirit animal “ once a day , is not the type of ask if you’re okay with her vlogging , has slept with rock stars and couldn’t care less that they’re basically the age of dirt at this point , is actually very sad when she’s not putting on the vivacious front in front of people , dances on tables whens she’s drunk , its not a party unless someone has offered her a line

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀

the berkowitz family name has long been one that holds prestige & power . among the 1% for over a century . they are a prominent banking family that has had their hands in the pots of nearly every big banking company across the nation . coming into the united states after word broke of the california gold rush back in 1849 , the berkowitz brother’s were of the lucky few to acquire pounds of gold by the thousands . later founding what would become a leading investment bank known as berkowitz capital . the generations to follow would capitalize on the head start given to them by the two brothers . expanding the family company as well as the knowledge of the family name through heavy involvement in politics alongside the kennedy’s . since as early as 1953 there has always been a berkowitz family member actively appointed to a political role ( governor , senator , representative , us ambassador , etc ) . although the families roots within the states are documented in the capital of california , as generations went on they made their way over to the east coast , with most of the family members now residing in southern florida .

the rachelson family is a prominent political family . synonymous with power & eloquence . with their rise initially taking place in the british parliament . many escaped to england from germany between 1933-1935 . they hadn’t settled into the states until jocelyn rachelson ( jalissa’s maternal grandmother ) was appointed the united kingdoms ambassador to the united states in 1987 . the rachelson’s have since had heavy involvement in the us government , both behind the scenes and at the forefront . much of the rachelson family have stayed within the european union ( germany & poland ) as well as england . although the few that followed jocelyn to the states now reside in washington dc and the tri-state area .

henry & austen had met through their mutual friends . it didn’t take long before the two became a rather public couple , a supercouple if you would ( similar to that of a brangelina of the 1% ) . although they’d met in new york the two decided that when it was time to start a family they wanted to move to hilton grove , an island austen had eyed for years . instead they found themselves moving down to fort lauderdale where henry had grown up . before they knew it , they were three kids deep in settling down in fort lauderdale . austen’s anger from never wanting to build a life in florida started to tumble into the relationship & the daily life of the family & so in an effort to recover the marriage henry agreed to moving the family up to hilton grove , where they have resided ever since .

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐄𝐑𝐀

jalissa was born the second of three children and oh boy does she suffer from middle child syndrome , riddled with a envy and a need to be in the mix . the berkowitz household , although , from the outside looking in looked like a fabulous family life was anything but . jalissa , like her siblings , was born on a pedestal & what came attached with that was even higher expectations from her parents . her parents found a way to be extremely authoritarian & uninvolved all at the same time . they were very dismissive if you disappointed them & everything jalissa did seemingly did just that .

for a long time she was obsessed with getting her parents approval , she’d turned life into a silent competition between herself & her siblings . she befriended only the people her parents approved of , did all the events they asked her to do , did everything she could to excel academically & only dated people who were of benefit to her parents ( people who’s parents where also in high places ) .

during highschool she joined the model un , debate team , and soccer team . if it were up to jalissa & not her parents she’d probably had joined the cheerleading team but her mother would never let that fly . it was too “ self indulgent “ to fit the family brand ( if only she’d known what would be coming years later lol ) .

it wasn’t until she was seventeen that she started to deviate from her parents wishes . of course , the catalyst to this was a boy , one her parents hadn’t really approved of but jalissa was completely head over heels for him . he really helped her boost her confidence to be her own person ? and not allow her parents to treat her like a puppet . with his encouragement she started her youtube channel , something she’d wanted to do for years but her mother had shot down the idea anytime jalissa brought it up . it was once again too “ self indulgent ” . the channel known as callmejalissa was an outlet for her , talking to a camera was the most heard she’d felt in seventeen years of her life . and god she knew that was hella sad . she really grew to view her subscribers as family & by the time her channel was brought to her parents attention ( more like her mothers , her dad had found her channel just four months after she’d made it and promised not to tell her mother so long as she was smart about what she posted ) she was about to turn eighteen and there wasn’t much they could do to stop her from doing it .

at eighteen she’d graduated highschool salutatorian with offers from university of pennsylvania & brown university . in all honesty she didn’t wnat to go to college , she saw it as a complete waste of her time . it wasn’t like she was going to do anything with the degree anyways . it would simply be a point of bragging for her parents at events & at this point she really could care less about them being able to brag to their friends . she knew she had to play along though , because this was the same year she was going to receive her first half of her trust fund ( a whoopin 500m , yes her trust fund in total will be 1b her parents are grossly wealthy guys ) so she bamboozled ? her parents , promising she’d committed to attending penn just so they’d allow for the money to be released to her account . she moved out of the house , literally moving into a house of her own a couple blocks from her parents house & claimed she was living in pennsylvania for college . we stan a sneaky binch .

two months later her parents were at her front door , though , ready to give her an ear full . her mother basically disowned her at this point . telling her how every year jalissa found a new way to be a bigger disappointment . her dad kind of played good cop , like he normally would because her mother often dug into her pretty deeply . to the point where any insecurity ( even though with the way she carries herself you’d never think she has any ) she has stems from something her mother has said / called her in the past . if henry berkowitz had a soft spot , it was certainly jalissa , it that had only grown clearly with the harsher austen became on the girl .

a few months before her nineteenth birthday a sex tape was released of jalissa cheating on her boyfriend at the time . it was a drunken mistake she’d made around the time of her mother basically disowning her , but that explanation did suffice for her boyfriend who inevitably broke things off with her . although this was a horrific time she’d received an abundance of offers to film more tapes . it was enticing to say the least . she was someone who loved intercourse but also had this deeply rooted desire to get back at her mother ? and what better way to do so then to something so far left from what her mother was about . this was next level disappointment in the eyes of austen berkowitz . the only thing that made sense ( in her mind ) was to dive head first into the porn industry .

like you’d expect her parents had a fit when they found out about her new career choice . although her internet fame had soared to new heights and her youtube & instagram followers were loving every second of this move . her mom was currently serving as governor and has since not been able to get elected in the political world since jalissa became one of the top porn stars around . they basically blacklisted her & jalissa feels no remorse , she’s gone so far as telling her mother “ sucks to be shunned , huh? ” .

although it took her dad a while to come around , he cares far too much to shut her out .

not to long after jalissa & her best friend started their podcast tickets to our downfall , it’s a mix of call her daddy & the basement yard , basically two besties talking on a level that most people wouldn’t want to leave the privacy of their own space , giving advice , hoe tricks , and telling funny stories of their past . it a total hit & one of jalissa’s favorite things to do .

she live sin the same house she has since she was eighteen . she lives on her own with three dogs and a cat . she absolutely hates being alone and so maggie ( a tan corgi puppy ) , louis ( a yellow lab puppy ) , humphrey ( a chocolate lab ) , and cedric ( a orange scottish fold ) are her babies that keep her sane in her big ole home .

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

as you can tell jalissa is chaotic , impulsive , reactive , and overall just searching for attention . she doesn’t care if the attention she receives is for the wrong reason or not , as long as she’s getting it . despite this she’s a good person ? i promise . she’s very friendly , loves a good joke & having a good time . very fun loving . she’s the type of person to try and bring up everyone else’s mood even when she isn’t feeling 100% herself . she’s loyal to those she deems are loyal to her . sometimes she’s bad a seeing who is actually loyal to her though & will be disloyal to someone who actually has her back ? oops . she’s definitely not the type to sugar coat anything for you , she tells it like it is & refuses to apologize if that hurts your feelings . if you cross her ? i’ll be praying for you . she’s the type to fuck your s/o , tell your boss some wild story about you & dump alcohol over your head at an event all in the matter of a week . don’t get her going , she’s absolutely relentless . with that said she’d very affectionate ... ? you can catch her hugging up on whoever is next to her at all times . touch is her love language , because lord knows she’s no sweetheart . she hates the stereotype of porn stars / internet personalities being ditzy , although she didn’t attend university she was accepted into two ivy leagues based off her academic abilities alone . the girl is intelligent & enjoys having a clever conversation from time to time .

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

a girl squad or just a squad in general really , give my baby her lil group of people please

her ex boyfriend from when she was seventeen ( he’s mentioned above ) but basically he’s the one who encouraged her to not let her parents make her their puppet , they didn’t approve of him , jalissa fell head over heels for him . they would’ve dated for nearly two years because the sex tape of her cheating on him came out .

the person she cheated on her ex with ? maybe they’re the one who leaked the sex tape ? maybe they never even told jalissa they were recording ?

her best friend that she does the tickets to our downfall podcast with ? these two are literally like twins , just two peas in a pod ( pun intended )

fans of her work ? and im not taking about her youtube channel or podcast

ex hook ups that think she’s crazy ? she probably gave them reason to think so lbr

frenemies give me blair & serena circa season one type of shit

just plain old enemies , they were probably friends at one point or maybe just have always disliked one another ?

smoking buddies were they literally just hot box cars together and munch on taco bell talking about why sound vibrates & shit

someone who isn’t afraid to confess their love for jalissa but her damaged ass refuses to confess her feelings for them ? so it’s just this constant cycle of them having a good time , them being sweet & her just gets weirdly quite & starring at them before she complaining about them going and ruining the vibes

she’s a bad influence on them ? they’re a good influence on her ? ride or dies ? partners in crime ? only friends when there is a substance involved ? sugar baby vibes ? unlikely friends ? flings ? crush ? friends with benefits ? everytime they are around one another its a fight ? someone she lets crash at her place sometimes ? someone she’s backstabbed & maybe they don’t even know she has & they still think she’s a ride or die for them ?

#hilton:intro #❛ 🍑 ── 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑. / INTRO.

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a-skyfull-of-starz · 4 years ago

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Mass Effect Relationship Week-Day 1: first impressions

Oh the irony. My final past before going silent was me saying I’m not going to be posting Mass Effect anymore, and here I am back again with a string of Mass Effect posts planned, but there is a reason for this: Mass Effect Relationship Week!!! I am kinda slightly late to this party owing to the fact that I got sick last week Wednesday and only feel fully recovered enough to contribute to society today. So I guess I’m still going to take part in MER2020, just four days late.

Here is Day 1′s prompt: first impressions. I took it from an already-written fic that I wrote like six years ago but that will probably never see the light of day. Even though I post a lot of Shenko on my blog, I am a Shrios girl through and through.

This takes place during and after the Dantius Tower mission, where Thane first gets recruited.

.....

There were no guards outside the penthouse, and I figured they had all retreated inside. We took up position on either side of the door. I counted down on my fingers, and pushed the door opened up.

Inside stood five asari dressed in the purple Eclipse armour, and a sixth who was dressed in a very fancy and expensive-looking business suit, with a necklace with some of the largest jewels I’d ever seen at her neck.

“Who are you?” she asked us rudely.

“I take it you’re Nasana Dantius,” I said.

“What business do you have, storming up here and killing my guards?” she snapped.

“I’m looking for someone,” I said. “I don’t think he’s here though.”

“What do you want?” she asked.

“You really are a piece of work,” I said. “Paying people off, blackmail, murder. No wonder someone wants to do you in.”

“Credits,” she said. “That’s what you want isn’t it?”

I heard a slight rustle in the vent above my head. “Honestly, Nasana,” I said. “I don’t think all the credits in the galaxy is going to save your life now.”

“Screw you,” she snapped. “Who gave you the right to play goddess? You come here and-what is it?” this was directed at one of her guard.

“I thought I heard something,” the guard said.

“Crap,” Nasana said. “Check the-,”

She never got to finish that sentence, because at that moment, the assassin dropped out of the air vent, on top of one of her guard. I had been in the military for ten years, and before that I had lived on a military ship, but I had never seen anything like I saw that night. He moved like he was insubstantial, like his body was made of water or mercury. In a heartbeat, he had knocked all five guards out. When he had dropped from the vent, his hands had been empty, but, as he pulled Nasana towards him, there was suddenly a pistol in his hand. He put the barrel under her sternum and pulled the trigger. The bullet would have pierced her diaphragm, heart and left lung. Her death was instantaneous.

He cradled her head gently as he lay her down on the floor and folded her hands over her chest so that she looked as though she was sleeping. Then he knelt at her feet, placed his hands together and bowed his head.

“Wow,” Grunt whispered, looking awestruck.

“That was…impressive,” Garrus said. Even Jacob looking grudgingly impressed. Thane did not look up.

I cleared my throat. “Um, Mr Krios,” I said. “I kind of want to talk to you.”

“Forgive me,” he said. “Prayers for the wicked mustn’t be forgotten.”

“I really doubt she’s worth the breath,” I said, thinking back on the salarian workers.

“Not for her,” he said, getting up. He looked me up and down. “When I heard the commotion downstairs, I wasn’t expecting to see Cerberus agents, much less aliens working for them,” he said. “Nonetheless, you provided me with a useful distraction.”

“A distraction?” I asked, getting annoyed.

“Yes,” he said. “I prefer to work quietly. If I have to kill people unnecessarily, it means I have made a mistake. I rarely make mistakes. As you can see here, the only person that is dead is the mark. The guards will probably wake up with headaches in a few hours.”

“Right,” I said. “Well, at least you take pride in your work.”

“One must take pride in one’s work,” he said seriously. “However, I assume you didn’t come all this way just to compliment me. What can I do for you?”

“I, uh, wanted to talk to you,” I said, realising how ridiculous it sounded. “Um, you weren’t at your apartment, and we couldn’t find you anywhere, so we figured we could catch you here.”

“Indeed?” Thane asked. “Well, here I am.”

“Right,” I said, getting more and more flustered by his cool demeanour. “Well, Mr Krios-”

“Thane,” he corrected.

“Right, Thane,” I said. “My name is Jane Shepard, and I’m on an important mission for Cerberus. Human colonies are being abducted by the Collectors. We found out they’re being taken through the Omega-4 relay. We want to follow after and find out what’s going on.”

“The Omega-4 relay?” Thane asked, looking slightly surprised. “No ship has returned from passing through there.”

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s a, well, suicide mission.”

“A suicide mission,” he mused, gazing down at Nasana’s body. “Yes, a suicide mission suits me nicely.” He looked at me. “I’m dying,” he said calmly.

“You’re what?” I asked, surprised. He didn’t look like he was dying. Whilst slim, he was clearly also strong, and his eyes and skin were a clear, green shade. He looked, in fact, incredibly healthy. “How are you dying?”

“I have a disease call Kepral’s Syndrome,” he said. I was growing increasingly disconcerted by his calm demeanour. “Don’t worry, it’s not communicable, even to other drell, but it does mean that low survival odds don’t bother me. The abduction of your people does however. I’ll join you, Ms Shepard. No charge.” He held out his hand, and, after a moment’s hesitation, I shook it.

“Welcome aboard, Thane,” I said.

.....

After breakfast the next morning, I went to talk to Thane in his room. “You look different when you’re not wearing armour,” he said, giving me a cursory glance.

“Thinner, yeah I know,” I said. “Shorter too, I believe. Look, can we talk?”

“What would you like to talk about, Ms Shepard?” he asked.

“It’s Jane, I sound like a schoolteacher if you put a Ms before my name,” I said. “You told me last night that you were dying.”

“I did,” he said.

“What exactly is wrong?” I asked, sitting down in the armchair next to the television. “I don’t know anything about Kepral’s Syndrome.”

“It’s a common enough disease among drell, although currently there is no cure,” he explained. “Our homeworld Rakhana was very arid. There was little rainfall in the residential areas, particularly closer to the end of our time there. Tell me, Jane, how much do you know of drell history?”

“Your homeworld was destroyed in a nuclear holocaust, but a few of you managed to get away,” I said.

“Yes,” Thane answered. “At the time, we hadn’t developed FTL drive cores yet, and we had nowhere to evacuate our people to. The hanar came in their ships and evacuated one hundred thousand drell, so that our people would not become extinct. Since then we have lived with the hanar on their homeworld, Kahje. The issue is however that Kahje is a very humid world, with daily rainfall. Our lungs are not able to deal with the excess water vapour, and our vascular tissue is destroyed in increments. It affects one in three drell. It can take years for the problem to become debilitating however.” “So how much time do you have?” I asked, and hated myself for sounding so cold.

“The last doctor I saw gave me about a year,” he said. “Safe to say that by that stage we will either be victorious or dead. Don’t worry, Jane. This won’t affect my performance.”

“I wasn’t actually worried about that, but I’m glad,” I said.

“Then what were you worried about?” he asked, seeming confused.

“Well, you’re part of my crew now, so I’m concerned about your well-being,” I said.

“I see,” he said. “I have always operated on my own, so I have no idea what it’s like to work with a team.”

“You’ll get used to it soon enough,” I said. “Trust me, I’m going to be all up in your business now that you’re part of my crew. You’ll probably want out way before the mission even begins.”

He gave half-a-smile. “Well, I suppose that’s at least something to look forward to.”

.....

I’m not sure if this strictly falls within first impressions, but eh. I still like this piece and these two fools.

#merweek2020 #mass effect #commander shepard #mass effect 2 #femshep #thane krios #shrios #textpost #bioware #fan fiction

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justoneday-namjoonii · 6 years ago

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Midnight Circus pt.7

☾pairing: Jungkook(?)♡→ reader ☾genre: Angst. Fluff. Mature content. bad boy summer fling au ☾summary: “You’re ten times hotter this summer, you know that?” ☾Series status statement: “She is?” a/n: This is a lil shorter than most chapters and I just want to say I’ve enjoyed going on this story’s journey with you all, it’s been an emo time and I love it^^

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | coming soon

Lying on a yellow blanket in the park, pretty hands combing through his hair like a lullaby. A sweet scent of flowers and churro vendors engulfed his nostrils, reminding him of the confectionaries served at the county fair.

That’s what he so desperately wanted to make his reality, but instead, he stood in the back alley of the vinyl record and music shop, smelling old sweets from the bakery next door. The wind tousled with his hair and the brisk air threatened to nip at the tip of his nose. He was texting a friend but on his way to the sweet escape of his car. When he finally took a seat in the vehicle, he set his phone down and turned on some soft music.

Lately, music has consumed the majority of his time. That, school, and his new job. The bowling alley was nice and all but he decided he should venture into different things in this season of his life. He’s been drawing a lot, thinking, singing, little things that make him feel a tinge of happiness inside—that’s what the counselor said to do anyway. He’s been seeing a counselor secretly, Namjoon suggested it because of the divorce and emotional problems he’s been dealing with. He was reluctant at first, he didn’t feel the need to go to someone with his baggage, but after that episode with you, he felt like he should try it out. And it helped him deal with himself. More importantly, it helped him deal with losing you. He never had you, it was hard for him to say that out loud, but it’s true.

What you two had was so wrong, in the beginning, it was wrong. That’s what you said, you said you regretted it and if you had the chance to do it again, you’d say no in a heartbeat. He went home to try and forget about it, about you. But oh how very difficult that turned out to be. He wants to know how you are and how your life has been. Somewhere deep down inside of him, he felt like he should be forgiven. He’s demonstrated that a mistake isn’t all he is—he screws up sometimes, but he’s only human.

His phone buzzed and he quickly picked it up.

“Hey,” It was Namjoon on the line, “what’s up?”

By the wind in the background, he was in the park, walking his dog probably.

“Would you happen to have any acrylic painting paper?”

“Uh, yeah, I should have a few sheets at my place.” That was an odd request. “I can bring them to you or-”

“No!” He sounded almost alarmed. “I’ll come over and get it this evening.”

“Okay,” Jungkook furrowed his brows in suspicion but went with it anyway. “I’ll see you later then.”

Namjoon sighed, slipping his phone into his pocket as he sat back in the park bench.

“I got them! They only had two left too.” You smile, skipping over to him with two sweet soft pretzels in your hands. “I don’t know how I got them.”

“Because you’re a lucky girl.” He smiles, dimples deep and pretty as always when he reaches out for one of the treats.

“Yeah, that’s true, I am pretty lucky.” You beam, sitting beside him and tearing a piece of your pretzel to give to the cute ball of fluff sitting next to his feet. “Here puppy, have some yummy pretzel-”

“Sweets aren’t good for dogs,” He looks at you, giggling when you give it to RM anyway, “you’re gonna spoil him.”

“Like you don’t spoil him already,” You roll your eyes, “he practically thinks you’re his maid.” RM reaches up to like your hand and you return his affection with a well-deserved ear rub. You coo to that little bundle of cuteness. “You love me, don’t you puppy?”

“Yes, he does.” Namjoon suddenly turns your jaw, the sweetest grin on his face when you tilt your head to him. He leans in and kisses you, a peck on the check that made your heart flutter.

He smiles at your rosy cheeks, that color had to be the prettiest thing in the world to him. “We both do.”

He helps you reach the stars.

Flashback

The prison they call school is now back in session. The break was nice, you spent a lot of time with family and you even went out with your close friends a few times. On New Year's day, you actually went to a party. There were actually quite a few people you’ve never seen before, but one person, in particular, was there—Jungkook.

The entire night, you did everything in your power to avoid him, but it was inevitable when you were re-introduced to each other by a mutual friend who was unaware of your pre-existing relationship.

“Jungkook,” He shuffled him over to where you were, safely in the corner with a bowl of trail mix, “have you met Y/n? She’s a friend from school, we go way back.”

You were stunned and quickly tried to chew and swallow the pretzel in your mouth. Sitting the trail mix down, you stand up, mouth opening to say something but nothing comes out, your friend probably thinks your just flustered but that’s not the case.

“We, um, we know each other actually,” Jungkook clears his throat, speaking to lessen the awkward silence. “we’ve gone to the same school since preschool.” He glances at you.

“Y-yeah.” You nod in agreeance.

“Really? Wow, small world.” He laughs, “Well I’ll leave you two to catch up then.”

He leaves you and Jungkook, still completely unaware of the tension in the air.

Jungkook stands in front of you, eyes hesitant to scan you but he did so anyway. “I haven’t seen you in a while,” He moves to sit on the couch, next to where you were sitting, “how are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks.” You don’t look at him when you say that, you know better than anyone that he rather forget the meeting you had ever happened, that’s why he’s trying not to sound awkward. It’s hard for you to sit here, just to be near him is difficult to stomach. He looks different from the last time you saw him, almost brighter as if he’s decided to hydrate himself with water instead of cola.

It’s just silence after that, a silence that brings the thought of what he’s been doing lately to your mind. Honestly, this is the longest you’ve gone without speaking to him, it’s been a few months. Fall had passed, winter came and school started again.

After what happened during the summer, there was no way you were gonna come out of that the same, there were too many changes. For one, surprisingly, Jimin still contacts you when he gets the chance and you don’t know how to feel about it. Jen often reminds you of the good things Jungkook has done to keep you from completely ripping him in your frequent conversations about him. And then there’s Namjoon—he seems too good to be true, doesn’t he? He listens to you, he wants to help you get over what you went through, and he defends you at all costs. He’s still a confidant to Jungkook and they talk but he never tells you what they talk about.

One day, he told you that he hadn’t told Jungkook about you two going out after that New Year’s party. He was the first person you kissed to begin the year, it was as magical as they make it look in Manhattan, maybe even more so. That night, you promised yourself that you’d never settle. You’d never open your heart to someone who justs wants to play with it.

Because let’s be real, Jungkook likes to play, he always has. If it means he can get a little rush or a good feeling out of it, he’ll do it. In this case, he recognized that he felt an attraction towards you and acted on it instantly, and you being the person to Jungkook that you are, you let him.

Just this is just as much of his fault as it is yours. His habit of playing with females was gonna bite him in the butt and it did—he caught feelings. Hilarious. The Casanova, the man with not a single soul tying him down, decided to catch feelings. And not with just anyone, with you of all people, his once mortal enemy. Now he’s really in trouble because you didn’t return those feelings the way he thought you would. So he acted out, tried to take you by force, tried just about anything to get you, but it only pushed you further away. Now you’re living your own life. You’re not letting your past with him dictate your life, he can see that clearly.

“Are you here alone?” He asks, his words somewhat muffled by the pin the tail on the donkey game in the background.

“No, I’m here with Jen.” You take a bite of your trail mix. “You?”

“Tae’s here somewhere.” You nod at that. ”Namjoon too.”

You brighten up at the mention. “Namjoon is here?” You look around for him. “I haven’t seen him...”

“Yeah, he’s somewhere.” After a moment of silence, you get up to go look for him and Jungkook’s heart breaks out in a thousand hairline fractures and he merely watches you for the rest of the night. You were able to track down Namjoon, and when you did, you two started to drink a little. Your outfit is flattering, distracting even. Distracting, that seemed to be the only word that came to his mind. He played beer pong, croquet, table tennis, but he kept looking for you, looking to see if you’de be looking at him...

Namjoon pulled you away and it was beautiful. The two of you talked and laughed about everything, he is even more hilarious at night. You two weren’t drunk but your red faces would beg to differ.

Within the hour, everyone huddles around the TV for the countdown. When the clock strikes twelve you all scream happy new year. Jungkook watches from the sidelines and when he sees you jumping around looking—genuiniely happy—something in him becomes uneasy and he goes outside on the porch to get some fresh air. Just as he does that, Namjoon cups your face with the softest smile and kisses you.

After that night, Jungkook doesn’t see you again and it tries not to let it tear him apart.

- Flashback End -

You lay sprawled out on your bed, a Greek history book in your hand, and your eyes slowly falling victim to sleep. The plan was to go study with Namjoon but you ended up on a little date at the park—you didn’t mind that though. Just as your eyes were about to close, you hear your phone buzz and you quickly bring it to your ear.

“Hello?” You frown a little bit, sleepiness wearing off almost immediately when you realize that it was a freaking text message, not a phone call. “Hugh...” You bring the phone down to look to see who it’s from and you do a double-take—Jungkook. You distinctly remember telling him to lose your number...

Jungkook [11:23]: i think. i need need u to cakll me

You’re taken aback, completely confused as to why he would be texting you some gibberish like this at this time of night. For a moment, you wait to see if he’s gonna text you back but the typing bubble disappears and you’re getting a phone call from him.

“Oh God no, no.” You stare at your phone, just waiting for it to stop ringing. “Not tonight, we’re not doing this tonight.” You’re saying that more to yourself than anything. After ignoring the call, he calls again and you ignore it, then he calls again, and again, and again, and you cave in. You pick up the phone and hold to your ear.

“What do you want Jungkook? Why do you keep calling me? Do you know what time it is?” You don’t shout, but you do speak with a blunt delivery.

“I need you...I miss, miss you- h-how are you by the way?...” His words are slurred, making him sound odd. “Y/n...” He draws your name out with a tug in his voice—he’s drunk, that is the only reasonable explanation for this.

“Jungkook,” You sigh, “are you drunk?”

“No, I’m not d- drunk,” He chokes, “I-” He sounds like he’s drinking something at that very minute, “I’m sorry, I’m- so, so- I’m stupid, I’m so stupid, but I need you, I need you bad...Please, please tell me you want me, please...” Now it sounds like he’s crying and you panic, you need to get off this phone.

“Stop that, you need to get off of this phone, I’m gonna hang up, okay? I need to go to bed.”

“I’m coming over your house,” He pants into the phone for a moment, “I’ll come and do whatever you, whatever you want...please, please...I-...I love you...”

You bite your lip, your heart aching at the drunken rambling. “Jungkook, you drank too much, you need to go to sleep and sober up...”

“Only i- if you tell me you love me, I need you,” He sounds like he’s crying again, “I want you to love me, I know I’m an idiot but I can’t take this, I can’t take it...”

“You don’t love me Jungkook.” You shake your head when you hear him let out a small sob. “We don’t love each other and it’s okay. It’s for the better. Now, I’m gonna hang up, alright?” He doesn’t say anything but you can hear his attempts to steady his breathing. “...Okay, goodnight.”

Long gone is your voice, all he hears is a dial tone taunting him. He tips up a bottle of soju and blinks back some tears. He’s at Yoongi’s place, again. His plan was to go home but he couldn’t resist drinks with Yoongi and Hoseok. But Yoongi was in the shower and Hoseok ran out to get something from the store.

”Jungkook,” Yoongi steps out of the bathroom, eyes scrutinizing a disheveled Jungkook, “what’s the matter?”

Jungkook sniffles, eyes and nose tinted a rosy pink. “She hates me...She fucking hates me.”

“Who?” Just as Yoongi asks that Hoseok walks in, plastic bags in hand.

“Y/n...” Jungkook said your name as if it was painful.

“Oh my God Kook,” Yoongi sighs, “did you call her?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” Hoseok joined the conversation.

“I wanted to talk to her.” He sighs, mind still not processing the problematic appearance of it all.

“At this time of night? Why would you think it was okay to call her Jungkook? And what did she say?”

“She said doesn’t love me.”

“You told her that you love her?... “ Jungkook nodded, “Do you love her?”

“I don’t know, I think so- I know I care about her, y’know? Like, I care about what happens to her...”

“She’s been going out with Namjoon for the past few weeks, you know that right?”

“She has?” Jungkook’s eyes were glossy and he looked like someone had just taken a dagger to his heart.

“Well, I saw them out a the movies one night and the other day he said they were going for a run together. If that’s not going out, I guess they’re just really close friends.”

“Jungkook, this might be for the better,” Yoongi interjects. “You two were never together in the first place, so why are you so heartbroken about this?”

That was just it, you two were never together in the first place. There is no logical reason as to why he’s behaving as if that were the case, it’s not. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s trying to get over it, and it’s just taking a while. “I’m not, I’m just trying to stop thinking about her like we had something, I thought we had something, I don’t know why.”

“You need to sleep it off Jungkook, your life doesn’t depend on Y/n.” Hoseok pats his shoulder and heads off to the guest bedroom to get some sleep himself. And Jungkook, after an hour or so of trying to find something on tv, he fell asleep and the world pitied him

You put on your nice top and best jeans because your mom said she had some friends coming over for Sunday dinner. You, of course, weren’t going to stay for the whole thing, due to your social anxiety around friends that aren’t really your own. So, you said you’d stay for a little while, then go out.

“Y/n! You’ve turned out to be such a beautiful young lady.” Mrs. Belle, she’s a long time family friend and she says that every time she sees you.

“Thank you, Mrs. Belle.” She’s sitting next to you at the dinner table as you eat the last few bites of your beans and rice.

“And you’re taking college courses now, right?”

“Yes, I’m just getting my A.A right now, I’ll figure out the rest of my plans when the time comes.” You smile, making sure you cut off any opportunities to talk about your major.

Shen went on about how great that was and how she hopes I can meet up with her son soon and help him out. You said you’d be more than willing to but the fact of the matter is, her son is more of the free-spirit time. In fact, you know Brian well and you know he rather play sports and find vegan burgers rather than talk about college.

Soon, you’re able to break away from the table and tell your mother you’ll be back soon. Jen texted you early this week, saying she was going on a picnic and a movie screening with Naeun, Nayeon, some other girls and guys. She also said Namjoon would be there. You wondered why he didn’t tell you himself, but you pushed that thought aside and ran upstairs to slip into a cute little sundress. You ran downstairs, bid farewell to your family and hoped in your car. She sent you the location and you put it in your GPS. The drive wasn’t too long, maybe 30 to 40 minutes, give or take a few minutes. When you pulled into the parking lot for the hilly park, you suddenly got a little nervous. Sure, these are your friends and all, but still, they make you nervous sometimes.

With courage, you get out of your car and bring your little cooler of fruit with you. There are quite a few couples having romantic little picnics, and families as well, your heart swells at the sight. You’re guilty of being a bit of a hopeless romantic and you think it probably shows. Because in reality, you don’t know if you’ve ever had a real boyfriend. You’ve gone on dates but never committed, it’s not a bad thing though, it’s just how it is.

“Y/n! Over here!” Jen waves you over and you see everyone else wave as well. There were about five blankets around, all with people you know and you greeted all of them.

“Hey,” You take a seat next to Jen and Jin—apparently they’re a thing now—you smile, “how are you guys?”

“Good, you?” Jin responds.

“Great.” You look around, hoping to see Namjoon heading your way but he’s no where to be seen. And in just the nick of time, you get a phone call from him

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jen told me she told you about the picnic, I’m sorry I can’t make it.”

“It’s okay, I understand.” You try not to sound too disappointed. “I’m good.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in class on Tuesday, alright?”

“Alright.” You say goodbye and you settle into a comfortable sitting position as you think of how you wished Namjoon was here, he made you feel really comfortable.

“I’ve missed you bestie.” Suddenly, Jen wraps her arms around you, so tight that you feel like she was probably doing it on purpose.

“How? I see you all the time Jen.” You giggle, unpacking your fruit and setting it out for whoever wants it.

“I know but you’ve been busier these days, which isn’t a bad thing, but we don’t get as much time anymore.” She lets you go and leans back on her hands. “We’ll have to do another trip soon.”

Never.

“I don’t know if I could do another summer like that Jen, maybe with just us girls.” Your tone is a bit bitter and she catches on immediately

“You mean?-”

“You know what I mean.” You look up at the screen the people are setting up. “I can’t do that again.”

“Y/n,” She frowns, knowing you were just at the point of ripping Jungkook apart, “you and Jungkook settled your differences, right?”

“I mean yeah, but-” You pause and look her in the eyes. “He called me last night, but he was drunk.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, he was rambling about how he needed me and asking me to love him, I couldn’t believe it.”

“That’s crazy...He must-” She cuts off what she was about to say and you narrow your brow.

“He must what?”

“Nothing!”

“You said that too quick, say what you were going to say. He must what?”

She’s hesitant to say something, but she caves under your scrutinizing glint. “He must just, miss you.”

You scoff. “No, he doesn’t know what he wants Jen...I honestly think he’s confused and I just hope he can get through it.” You two sort of end the conversation on that, but you don’t stop thinking about it. You never thought Jungkook could really, genuinely miss you, it didn’t sound right in your head. But it could happen, he could somehow feel like there’s a void in his life and it’s because of you. Jungkook did a lot of crap to you that just wasn’t right, but you gave in every time when you could have easily said no, and he used that against you.

But it’s okay now.

You’ve healed and now it’s Jungkook’s turn to do the same.

But no matter where you go, or what you do, Jungkook will be not too far behind. After the movie had started, you saw him arrive with Yoongi and Hoseok, your heart dropped at the sight of him. Every time you see him unexpectedly, you feel yourself panic a little bit. It’s obvious that he hasn’t yet seen you, and you want to keep it that way.

Little did you know, he sees you but he does his best not to make that known, he doesn’t want to suffer any more awkward meetings. He settles at a spot on one of the huge blankets and tries to watch the movie. You, on the other hand, you’re scared that he might see you and get embarrassed about what happened last night. Wouldn’t that bruise his ego to know you heard him like that? You thought so.

The night goes on, people end up talking during the movie and Jen asks if anyone will go get some paper plates from the little shop over the hill. You volunteer and scurry off to get the plates.

When you arrive at the little vendor, you have to get in a short line—that’s not too bad. Well, not until you realize who’s standing in front of you.

Jungkook.

And to make matters worse, he glances back at you and you can practically see the blood leave his face.

“Hey.” You’re the first to say something, in hopes that the silence and staring is put to an end.

“H-hey, we seem to keep meeting...” He breathes, referring to the many times you two arrived at the same function by sheer coincidence.

“Yeah....”

He clears his throat. “So, how have you been? I know we haven’t talked since New Year’s”

No, you two have definitely talked since then.

“Um, pretty good, how about you?”

“I’ve been fine, can’t really complain I guess.” He turns from you so he can purchase some bottles of water from the cashier. Now it’s your turn.

“Five plates please.” You smile and the man promptly takes your money and gives you the plates in exchange. When you look up, Jungkook is standing there, just looking at you.

“What’re you doing?”

“I’ll walk back with you, if you’re okay with that,” He rushes to make sure this is something you don’t mind. “It’s dark out.” He has a fair point. Instead of saying something, you begin to walk back and he walks beside you, eyes stealing small glances at your dress. You look really pretty tonight, he can’t deny that. But he wills himself to look at his feet, or at anything else, he can’t afford to have you catch him staring.

You’re feeling so, so awkward. Does he not realize that he called you last night? You were starting to think he was completely unaware of it because he didn’t look uneasy, ashamed, nothing, he acted like the last time you two talked was on New Year’s Day. You two go your separate ways to your own blankets and your mind is spinning with one conclusion.

He doesn’t know he called you.

#bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts imagine #jungkook #jungkook angst #Jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #Midnight Circus #midnight circus is back #this is what you've all been waiting for #it is finished #this is my most popular fic #i was so shook when i looked back and saw 800+ notes #❤️thank u so much❤️

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