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kookslastbutton · 1 year ago

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Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m) I ch. VII

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 6,656

Warnings: 8-year age gap, mentions of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), cute date on the back of jk's car trunk, jk nervous, jk gives lots of gifts & flowers to oc, oc is obsessed with clearance chocolate, auntie oc and uncle kook take care of yoongi's twins, jk & oc become guinea pigs for yoongi's kids lmao, mention of dentist!yoongi, jk's mommy issues get mentioned, jk has personal daddy issues but he working through them, jk being good hubby to oc, just a rollercoaster of emotions ngl

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: Hello! thanks for being patient with me guys!! Important: the flashback for this chapter follows events of chapter V and will refer to it. And yes it's thier first date! Kind of 👀👀 that will be for you to decide. Then we have present day jk and oc being guinea pigs for Yoongi's crazy twins hehehe. Ok pls, enjoy 💞

<< ch. VI ༓ ch. VIII >> ┃series masterlist

You know how some couples have multiple weddings that lead to disagreements over their real anniversary date? Or maybe it’ll be when the relationship was made official or what the first sign of attraction was? Yeah, that’s you and Jungkook when it comes to pinpointing exactly when your first date was.

If you ask your husband, he’ll tell you it was weeks after you were discharged from the hospital during your postgrad studies. But in your opinion, it was far before his timeframe.

You see due to a group of overly eager college freshmen, you had sprained your ankle and cracked a rib. Jungkook stayed with you the entire first two weeks of the recovery period. He'd bring study notes to you, your favorite food, hell even art supplies he bummed off Taehyung to help break up your mundane days in the hospital.

When the time finally came that you were well enough to finish the healing process at home, he suggested a dinner out would be an excellent way to celebrate.

"...do you wanna go out to dinner?" Jungkook pops the question more causal than expected.

"Are you asking me on a date…?"

His reply is barely audible but you hear it and for the first time, your professor sounds truly timid. "Uh, well…let's go with hang out like friends do."

You’re convinced that this was the first time he asked you out, thus leading to your first date. Your husband, however, thinks it was too vague to tell. He prefers to see it as more a pre-date instead.

So, was it a date?

Was it an unspoken pre-date?

The jury’s still out about this one.

4 years ago

It’s a gorgeous day with the way the sun beams on the hood of his car. A few scattered clouds, fluffy and white, float across the sky as well, offering shelter from the heat. You were discharged from the hospital only yesterday and Jungkook was already insistent on going out today, saying that a little fresh air and a change of scenery would be good for you.

“Where are we going?” You turn your head from the passenger window to look at the man inquisitively. It’s a simple question but the tension of the unknown nibbles at you from inside.

“One of my favorite spots,” Jungkook replies with his eyes set on the road. “Hope you don’t mind the drive. It’ll be another fifteen minutes.”

“It's fine. Why can’t I know where we’re going though?”

He hesitates to answer. “Do you not like surprises?”

You shrug. “Sure I do, as long as I know about them ahead of time.”

A hearty laugh follows your words and it sends one of the warmest feelings through your whole body. You didn't think you were being funny, but after being stuck in the hospital for two weeks, it's nice to feel something other than dismal. Jungkook is good at lifting your spirits at the most unexpected of times, you hum to yourself.

He looks handsome today too.

You can’t stop yourself from thinking about it as you watch a few strands of his dark hair blow over. He has his window cracked to let in a gentle breeze and though it causes him trouble here and there, he remains mostly unbothered.

The oversized white T-shirt he chose to wear is something you're still taking time to adjust to. Much more casual compared to what he wears during his lectures. But you like it with the loose-fitting pants he's paired it with.

"If it's necessary for you to know where we're going then I guess I have no choice." Jungkook looks in your direction but your gaze lingers down his torso. "__."

"Yes?" You immediately blink up at him, hoping you don’t look too flushed. Once he directs his attention back to the road you'll make sure to check yourself in the side-view mirror. Using your phone camera might look a little too obvious.

"I was saying if you need to know where we're going I'll tell you," he repeats. "But if it's possible I'd really like for it to be a secret until we get there."

"Alright," you concede. "I guess I could stand the wait this one time. This is your only freebie though. No more surprises after this."

"No more checking me out," he mutters.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Can I open my eyes yet?"

"No." Jungkook opens his door and hops out of the car. "I'll be right back."

"Wait where are you going?" You know he wants whatever this is to be a surprise but you've been told to keep your eyes shut for the last five minutes. You're a little nervous to say the least, especially if he's about to disappear somewhere. "Jungkook?"

No response.

"Hello? Jungkook?" You're tempted to open your eyes when you hear the trunk of his car suddenly pop open. Several rustling noises follow as he digs around. "What are you doing back there?"

"You'll see soon. I'm almost done so just sit tight for a moment." He unzips a bag and then pushes said bag around the floorboard. The sound of something crashing on the ground perks up your ears in the moments following, earning a tiny 'shit' from Jungkook.

"Everything alright?" You're seriously getting antsy now.

When Jungkook swings your door open, a cool breeze hits your legs. "All good __. But now, I'm going to need you to trust me because I'm going to help you out of the car."

What?

"Um, I do have crutches I can use you know. You don't have to carry me anywhere like before. Dr. Kim said I should–"

"You won't need them this time. We're not going far okay?" He ducks his head inside and guides your arms around his neck. "Can you scoot forward a little?"

You do as he says until he tells you to stop. And with one arm supporting your lower back and the other firm under your legs, you're lifted out of your seat.

"Okay." The ground underneath his feet crunches as he straightens himself back up and out of the vehicle. "Now you can open your eyes."

As soon as you do your jaw drops.

"Surprise!"

Jungkook watches your stunned face as you take in all of Seoul from your perched position.

"I hope you don't mind that I didn't take us to a traditional restaurant. This is an overlook I happened to stumble on years ago when I first moved here. Not many people know about it because it's kind of off the beaten track but I get a bit adventurous sometimes."

He carries you around to the back of the car.

"Since you're still recovering I won't make us sit on the ground but I brought food that we can eat in the back of my trunk. There's a pillow there you can lean against too. And I made sure to park at an angle so we can watch the sunset."

"Wow...Jungkook I don't know what to say."

"It's cheesy isn't it?" His previously eager tone drops and you can't help but feel a pulling at your heartstrings. "I'm sorry if this isn't your thing. I probably should have asked."

"I love cheesy." You crack a small smile and Jungkook breaks out into a grin again, causing both of you have butterflies in your stomachs. "You're very thoughtful for doing this. I'm sorry about my initial reaction. I'm just shocked."

"Well, we're friends now, aren't we? You should get used to this kind of stuff from now on." He walks up to the trunk and carefully sets you down. "Here, lean back." He fluffs the pillow and then gestures for you to lay back.

Once you're comfortable, he hops in next to you and grabs the baby blue gift bag from the corner of the trunk. You don't know how you missed it before given its size and very decorative packaging.

"Before I give you this to you please know that I don't expect anything back okay?" His hands are shaky as he holds the bag on his lap. "This is just something I wanted to give you after your injury and having to be in the hospital for so long."

You nod your head in understanding but are not fully convinced. "And you're giving this to me as a friend, yes?" You take the bag from him and slowly open it.

"Mhm."

You narrow your eyes at him before reaching into the bag. You take out a very large, sturdy box. "God, Jungkook. This is so heavy. What's in here?" You tear apart the wrapping paper and open the smooth lid. "Oh my god, you didn't?!"

They're chocolates from the dessert shop you told him about last Sunday night. You had mentioned it in passing because you were craving sweets but not in the slightest did you think he'd take it to heart. The shop was at least an hour's drive away.

"Don't worry." He sees the pressure creeping on your face. "I was going that direction anyway. But I saw it on my way back and was reminded that you were craving it the other night. Uhm, there's also a coupon in there too. They included that in the purchase."

"Jungkook....you really didn't need to do any of this for me." You grab the small card laying at the bottom of the bag that reads 20% off. "Thank you so much."

"Oh, I almost forgot!" You're taken aback when he jumps off the trunk to scurry to the backseat. He returns in mere seconds with a generous bouquet of pink and purple hydrangeas. "These are for you too."

You shriek and grab them out of his hand, feeling a little giddy. Hydrangeas are your absolute favorites. "Sorry, that was really rude of me. These are so beautiful, though. Thank you. I don't know what to say."

Jungkook sits back down and pulls forward a freezer bag. "Seeing you this excited is enough. I brought us a lot of food too so, we should probably eat it before it starts going bad. This bag can only do so much preserving." He digs out box after box of yummy food from fresh strawberries to sushi. There are drinks too; banana milk and soju.

Your stomach growls as you watch him set the food between you both.

"Well, don't be shy." He hands you a plate with chopsticks. "Dig in."

"You look very pretty in that blouse..." He stabs his straw into his milk and takes a large sip. "The color really suits you."

"Oh, thank you." You manage the words once you swallow the strawberry you're eating. "Yours too."

Jungkook combs through his hair with his fingers. "Thanks, this t-shirt really brings out my eyes don't you think?" You laugh and shove his shoulder lightly.

"Stop, I'm being serious. I don't see you in this type of style often. It looks good."

He gives a playful shake of his head. "Where did you get that shirt anyway?" He gestures at your top again.

"At a store," you reply dumbly. "It was on sale. Gotta love a good deal right?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Never pay full price."

"That's exactly what I try telling my roommate. She only buys the best of the best but I think she could get the same thing 50% off if she waited long enough."

"You know Taehyung's the same way. Nothing but luxury from head to toe. I'm surprised he paints in a basic t-shirt and jeans some days."

You chuckle, feeling the air light and fresh. "Painting gets messy so it's better you not wear your best and brightest clothes. Sometimes I'll just wear a giant t-shirt that already has paint stains and nothing el–"

Shit.

You cringe at how quickly you can run your mouth. Jungkook doesn't need to know your painting attire evident from his sudden frozen up form.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"I'm embarrassed."

"Don't be. I've heard worse." Jungkook clears his throat and looks out to the view in front of you. "This really is a beautiful spot is it not?"

Thank you for the deflection, you silently say to him.

"Yes, it's the best view I've seen in my life. I can't believe you found this place. It's like seeing everything for the first time again."

"__."

"Hm?"

"Is it weird that I–" He stops mid-sentence, hands rubbing his thigh. "Is it weird that I brought you here?"

"Of c–"

"No wait, wait that's not what I wanted to ask." He runs his fingers through his hair again, doing his best to keep eye contact. "What would you say if someone were to ask you out?"

You relax into a tight-lipped smile and quirk your head to a slight angle. "I'd probably say no because I'm on a date with you right now."

At this Jungkook's milk slips from his hand, spilling on his pants. You grab some napkins next to you and help him wipe the spillage off.

"We're on a date?" He stands the milk upright. "This is a date?"

"Yes, it very obviously is. I don't wear this top for just anyone you know." You close your mouth instantly and sit up straight. "You weren't meant to hear the last part."

"Wait, go back. I thought this was us hanging out. Remember? At the hospital, I said–"

"C'mon the flowers, the specialty chocolates, taking me to one of your secret hideouts. Not to mention packing all this food to share. It is most definitely a date. Do you not want it to be?"

"No! I mean of course, yes. But I would have dressed a lot better." He looks down at himself, embarrassed. "I just threw these on before I left the house."

"And what else would you have worn? I see you in dress shirts and slacks twice a week at the school, if not more."

"Oh, I guess you have a point." He lets out a sigh. "To be honest __. We don't have the most proper relationship for that kind of thing, do we? It's annoying that I keep saying it but I am still your professor until the end of this semester at least. Us dating would be kind of a breach of contract."

"So you won't call this a date because you think it's forbidden?" You cross your arms.

"Well not entirely. It's just...I'm scared. There it is. And if we plan to do any sneaking around business I need to know you...shit, this is going to sound so middle school of me...I need to know you're interested in me __."

"For fucksake Jungkook, I wouldn't have agreed to come if I wasn't interested." You move closer to his side so you're inches from his face. "You're the kindest person I've ever known and I'd like to know you more like you've been doing for me the past two weeks. You've gone out of your way so many times for me that I seriously can't keep up. And while I can't say that I'm in love with you since it's much too soon, I've become very attracted to you. It just sucks we're in a bit of an odd position with school and all. But we can make this work. I'm also in post-grad so I don't think we're doing anything that risky."

"What about Taehyung?"

"That's all you got out of what I just said?"

"Sorry, I'm just asking because you seemed into him at the art exhibit. You're both artistic after all." He fiddles with his fingers. "I'm just the guy who you got stuck with this year because you couldn't major in art."

You feel compelled to take one of his restless hands in your own, so you do–holding it loosely.

"Kim Taehyung was simply a visual interest," you say. "I never thought about anything serious with him. He's also faculty so unless he saves my life or something, I'm not really considering anything beyond a friendly report."

A moment of silence is exchanged as Jungkook lets your response sink in. And as long as your eyes aren't fooling you, you'd say he's more than pleased with it.

"So...you really wanna do this?" Jungkook asks with more anticipation than nervousness this time.

"Yes." You nod.

"Wow, okay um, well when do you want to go out?" He kicks his feet back and forth. And when he reflexively squeezes your hand you can't help but grin at his eagerness. "I'm free every weekend if that works for you."

"We should probably get to the end of this date first Dr. Jeon."

"Nooo, I like Jungkook. Can we stay with Jungkook when it's just you and me? Also, this isn't a date. We need a do-over."

You laugh, seeing a new side of him. He's more, hm, whiny than you thought–it's cute.

"Jungkook, we don't need a do-over. This can be a date if we want it to be. It's got all the elements already. Look." You lift his hand in yours. "We're already holding hands.

"Nope. When are you free?"

"How about this coming Friday after 4pm? Is that too far out?"

He shakes his head fervently. "It works perfectly for me. Let's do 4:01pm." Your baffled expression causes his own eyebrows to knit together. "What? You can't do 4:01?"

"I–yeah sure I can but I didn't expect you to suggest a time so soon."

"Well, you said you'd be free after 4pm right?"

You nod.

"Then it's a date!"

He smiles wide and you do the same.

Present

"Kook, grab us a cart. You won't believe what's on sale!" You stuff about five gold-foiled boxes under your arm. The yellow tag next to the price says 75% off which means you are for sure buying at least ten of these.

It's times like these that your husband enjoys watching you most. You can barely reach the self where the clearance chocolate is, nevertheless, you're on your tip-toes with arms fully extended above your head to grab at every box of sweets you can.

His inner hero wants to help but he's learned early on not to get in the middle of you and your favorite snack. It's better he listens to your request to get a cart instead.

"Don't hurt yourself in the five minutes I'm gone okay honey?"

"Mhm," you mumble, not really paying attention. "Kook this chocolate has caramel and orange inside. Oh my god, look." You show him a box of chocolates with cherry filling. "These are to die for. I need like six of these."

"Here give me some of those." Jungkook takes the boxes of chocolates from your arm when he sees them slipping from your hold. "I'll put these in a cart while you keep digging. But if someone else comes along, let them have at least one this time."

He knows how much of a little hog you can get with your candy.

"Are you kidding? Finders keepers." You reach for another box, the ones in the back are always the best.

"__."

"What? I'm doing all the hard work here which means I get to keep all the chocolate."

"Fine, fine. Be sure to check the expiration date too." Jungkook turns around to stalk toward the front of the store. If he doesn't get his butt to a cart soon, his wife is going to turn into a grizzly bear.

A very cute grizzly bear.

But a grizzly bear nonetheless.

"Did we really need thirty boxes of these?" Jungkook dumps the grocery bags on your kitchen counter. "I love you but this is insane. Who's going to eat all of this chocolate?"

"Well, I was planning on sending the twins home with some." You rummage through the bag then move to stack them in the pantry. "They'll be here in an hour so it can be a surprise from us."

"Yoongi's twins? You're going to send the two children whose father is a dentist a whopping bag of chocolate?" Jungkook hands you another box to put in the pantry. The little assembly line works well when putting groceries away.

"I'm only giving them one box okay? So Yoongi can shove it."

You hear a snickering behind you.

"Honey don't push the man who could likely yank all your teeth out of your head and end with, 'will that be all?'"

You roll your eyes. "Yoongi doesn't scare me like he scares you. But if you're so worried I will get his permission ahead of time."

Jungkook's mouth opens in response until he feels a slight vibration in his pant pocket. When he takes it out to check his initial good mood drops about ten degrees.

"Kook?" You watch as he reads whatever it is on his phone.

"Nothing." He switches off the device and places it face-down on the counter. "It's just dad."

"Something about your mom I'm presuming?"

Being Saturday, it's been a few days since Jungkook had his fallout with his mother. They were originally planning to stay in town until Friday but left Thursday morning instead due to Mrs. Jeon feeling "unwanted".

Your husband's been in close contact with his father ever since.

"Yeah," Jungkook lets out an exasperated sigh. "She's journaling again apparently. It's what she does to cope with frustrations like me."

"I'm sorry Kook." You rub his arm soothingly. "Maybe she needs some time to think about everything that's happened. I know you want her to talk to you but maybe it's not all bad that she's jotting things down first."

"Yeah, maybe." He takes your hand and presses a light kiss against the back of your knuckles. "It's whatever though, Mom can have her fit. I'm not going to let her ruin one of the only free days I get with my wife."

You smile and quickly peck his soft lips–something Jungkook wishes would be longer.

"Love you," you say and return to your original task of putting groceries away.

"Listen to me you two gremlins," Yoongi says on a bent knee. "Eomma and I will be back by 8pm. Until then your uncle Jungkook and Aunt __ are in charge. You know the rules, no jumping around on the sofas, don't into Aunt __'s paints, stay out of Uncle Jungkook's office, and under no condition are you to get into sweets."

He flicks his eyes to you for a brief moment then sets them back on the two seven-year-old girls in front of him. They look adorable with their matching space buns.

"But Appa–"

"No Eun-ji."

"Can't I just have one? Pleaseee?" She stares up at Yoongi with large eyes, hands clasped together. His second daughter Ari quickly does the same.

"We promise we'll brush our teeth right after."

Yoongi's face remains unmoved at his twin's relentless need for chocolate. Sure, he may be the one more likely to cave to requests when it comes between him and his wife but sweets were definitely off the table. His girls just got their teeth cleaned a couple days ago too, cavity-free, and he intends to keep it that way.

"Did you even bring your toothbrushes?" He knows for a fact they did not being that they weren't staying the night.

The twins exchange looks before breaking into a goofy grin. Mrs. Min leans down next to her husband at the moment and draws her girls into a hug.

"Appa and I will bring you back something better than chocolate tonight, okay?" She kisses her daughter's cheeks and then stands up. "Be good."

"K..." The twins let out a small huff then turn to set their backpacks on the living room couch.

"Hey," Yoongi calls after them. "Where's my hug?"

You let out a snort when you see Eun-ji face her dad again, tongue sticking out. Her sister gives a similar attitude with her hands on her hips and scrunched-up face. These girls might be in elementary school now but boy, those teenage years are sure to be rocking.

"Turn." You hear Ari from across the living room. She's standing on the sofa with her small hands holding a chunk of your husband's hair.

"Like this?"

"No the other side."

With his legs crossed on the floor, Jungkook shifts his head toward your direction with widened eyes. At this point, most of his hair has been pulled back into tight braids and finished off with yellow and pink hair clips. The only section left to do now was the underside.

"How do I look?" he asks you.

"Oh, you look breathtaking honey." You feel a soft makeup brush swipe across your cheek, courtesy of Eun-ji who's decided you needed a 'makeover'. You're not sure if that means a seven year old cramped on your style or what, but either way, you're getting bronze cheeks and glittery eyeshadow.

It's only been half an hour and the twins were already making you and your husband do their utmost bidding.

"Ari honey," you coo. "You should become a hairstylist when you grow up. You're doing such a good job with Uncle Jungkook's hair."

"I know," she sasses. "I'm good at this stuff Auntie. Everyone says that I am the queen of doing hair."

You and Jungkook giggle from the small child's gumption. It's good she's confident, you mouth to your husband.

He nods back. "Eun-ji's doing a great job too. You should see the glitter she's chosen for you."

"Not yet Uncle Jungkook," Eun-ji pipes up. "She can't look yet. It's a surprise!"

"Ah okay." He throws you playful eyes, eyebrows bouncing up and down suggestively. "A surprise huh?"

You flutter your eyes closed when you see Eun-ji dab her palette and reach forward to paint the eyeshadow over your lids. "Yup." she nods her head. "I'm giving Auntie the best color ever."

"Wow I can't wait to see honey," you say. "This wouldn't happen to be your favorite color would it?"

The tease in your tone makes Eun-ji grin. Of course, you can't see it but Jungkook can and it causes him to break out into a boisterous chuckle.

"You're so cute Eun-ji," he says, clapping his hands together.

"What about me?" It's Ari's sassiness making a comeback as she pushes the final yellow clip into Jungkook's hair.

"You're cute too Ari." You reassure the child and open your lids once Eun-ji gives you the okay. Not a second following that you're thrusted forward a hand-held mirror.

"What do you think?"

You glance at yourself in the reflection, blush blue eyeshadow that covers up to your eyebrows and bronze blush. You have ruby red lipstick on as well, Eun-ji's personal favorite.

"I love it, sweetheart. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." She gathers all the makeup containers and tools she can fit in her hands before making her way to your husband. "You're turn Jungkook."

"Okay, but can I pick what color this time?" Your husband smiles at the child with mirthful eyes.

"No." She sets the make-up in front of him and pops open a bright, Barbie pink lipstick.

"Anti-ti-ti-ti fragile, fragile!"

You watch from the kitchen as the twins jump around in the living room. After your makeover, the girls felt like a karaoke session was in order. They convinced Jungkook to join them so there he is with a microphone in his hand, belting the lyric of 'Antifragile' by LE SSERAFIM.

"Come on __!" Ari calls to you, breath heavy from all the rambunctious dancing. "Sing with us!"

You laugh and whisk the bowl of flour and sugar in front of you. "No you guys keep going. I'm a little busy at the moment."

"Doing what?" She runs up to the kitchen island where you stand, trying to peek inside the bowl.

"I'm making cookies."

"Really?" She rushes to the other side of the island to pull out the stool from underneath. Once she settles herself in the chair she looks at you with eagerness. "Can we eat them?"

"Hmm..." You pretend to think. "Didn't your dad tell you no?"

"Yeah, but you always give us sweets. Even if he says we can't have them."

The child has a point.

"How about this, if you help me make these you can eat them. But you can't tell your dad okay?" Ari nods. "Good, you can stir this for me while I crack some eggs."

"Just what are you doing?" You jump when Jungkook walks up behind you. "You wouldn't be giving these sweet girls something their parents told them they could have, would you?"

"Dad will be really mad if he finds out," Eun-ji joins in on the scolding. She turns down the music from the tv and folds her arms.

"Well I–"

"If you're going behind Yoongi hyung's back you're going to need some help, honey." Jungkook slides one of the kitchen draws open and reaches to take out a small plastic bag. He throws out two brand new kid-size toothbrushes, orange and blue. "Had a feeling we'd need these tonight after seeing you stock up on all that chocolate today."

"Now girls..." He turns to look at Ari and Eun-ji who seem to be busy mixing the bowl of flour and sugar together. "Hey girls."

They lift their heads.

"Make sure to brush twice before your dad gets back. This stays our little secret, understand?"

"Okay," they say in unison.

"Thank you Kook." You lean your head against your husband's firm chest, resting for a moment. This whole situation is kind of funny if you think about it. But you really hope you don't get beef from Yoongi later.

"Anything for you," Jungkook quips and kisses your head gently.

"Ew..." You hear Ari say.

"No it's not," Eun-ji bites back. "It's romantic, like the movies."

Ari scrunches her face at her sister. "No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"Nope."

You and Jungkook wait for the two of them to simmer down but they keep going at it. Yes, no, yes, no...back and forth until one of them scoops up a handful of the flour in the bowl and tosses it at the other.

"Uh okay, no more! No more." You and Jungkook lunge forward to sweep the bowl out of their reach.

"How about you let Auntie and Uncle finish making the cookies and you two go back to karaoke?" Jungkook successfully persuades the twins and they run back into the living room in search of the next biggest hit to jam to.

You lock eyes with Jungkook now, wordless.

"Hm?" He hums at you.

"Mm." You shrug your shoulders and move towards the fridge but not before you're flicked with some of the flour yourself–your husband's hand powdery from the mixture. "Kook!"

You wipe your face, and light laughs fall from both your lips.

"Okay girls, get brushing!" Jungkook guides the twins to the bathroom. "Your parents are going to be home in fifteen minutes and that means these teeth need to smell like nothing my fresh mint." He squeezes the toothpaste on each girl's brush.

"Bursh, brush, brush," he chants and you shake your head as you wash the cookie sheet in the kitchen sink.

The twins have eaten about three cookies each and with chocolate stains all over their faces, they're going to need more than a 2-minute teeth brushing.

"Honey, I'm cracking the windows open and lighting my candles." Jungkook rushes around the house in search of his vanilla bean scents.

"I don't think that's going to take away the smell in such a short time. We should probably just take the beating Kook," you holler back.

"Oh, we're definitely getting dragged out tonight." He yanks the candle jars open and lights them. "The smell of freshly baked cookies is still too strong to hide but I'm hoping these candles will act as a distraction."

You hit your husband with the kitchen towel, the snap of it making him throw you a startled look. "Shit–do you not see the lighter in my hand?"

You roll your eyes. "Relax drama queen, you didn't have it ignited yet. Anyway, the candles aren't necessary if we're opening all the windows."

"It'll help though."

"Not really."

"Well, I think they will."

Jungkook goes back to lighting his candles and once he has the twentieth one lit, he's thoroughly pleased with himself.

As soon as the twins finish cleaning themselves up, they help scatters them throughout the house, leaving them in as many corners with surfaces as possible.

"Okay, that's it! That's the last one." Jungkook high-fives the twins and you toss the last dish in the drying rack.

"Good job team." You laugh and join them in the living room.

Eun-ji plops herself on the sofa with her backpack in her lap. "I had a lot of fun tonight."

Ari joins her on the couch with her own backpack in hand. "Me too." She pauses and then says something that you and Jungkook were very much underprepared for.

"You would make good mom and dads."

"You think so?" Jungkook shocks you by responding first.

Ari nods. "If you had kids, we could all play together. And we can have all the cookies we want because we'll be best friends. And best friends share everything!"

"So you want Auntie and I to have kids so you can keep hiding cookies from your dad?" Jungkook lunges forward to tickle the child mercilessly. "You little cookie monster!"

Ari rolls around on the couch, giggling repeatedly. You can't help but feel the thumping of your heart as you watch the scene unfold. And for the slightest moment, you imagine what it would be like with your own child.

All those thoughts are put to an abrupt end however when the doorbell rings.

Jungkook flies to the door to let Yoongi and his wife in. He flashes you a little smile before opening it, ensuring you that whatever happens he's got your back.

"Were you guys baking in here?" Are Yoongi's first words as he and the Mrs step inside the entryway of your house.

"Um, no? No, I don't think so." Jungkook feigns ignorance. "It must be coming from our neighbor's house."

With the twins home with their parents, you and Jungkook curl up together in your bed. You nuzzle your head in his inner shoulder and his arm holds around your waist.

"Those girls are a lot," Jungkook says. "But you know, I have to agree with them this time–it was kinda fun."

"Yeah?" You aimlessly trace circles on his chest.

"Still crazy, but yeah. I felt like I had a lot of good energy inside me tonight. And you know something else?" He looks down at you.

"What?"

"We'd make pretty damn good parents."

You bolt up from your reclined position the second the words drop.

"You can't keep doing this to me Jungkook," you say, your hands gripping the soft comforter. This isn't the first time he's teased you with having a baby and every time he does, you don't know what to take it as.

Is it a joke, is he serious, or just talking?

"You know how I feel and–"

"Hey." Your husband leans up to stroke your back with warm hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry honey. I don't mean to confuse you. I really am thinking about it you know? With everything that's been going on with my parents lately, I know I've been hard to pin down but I really am serious when I say we'd make good parents. Or when I say we might have a possible baby to make one day."

"Might. Could make. Maybe." You stare straight at your husband. "I know you're warming up the idea but you're still talking in such vague terms. I'm not at all trying to rush us to decide on a baby or not. But I just don't want to get a false sense of hope...that you'll say yes."

"Come here." He draws you into an embrace and kisses your cheeks, both of them. "I'm sorry for being an idiot. I admit the first few times I was more loose with what I was saying than I should have been. But I swear I, it was never my intention to be leaving you guessing. I'm so sorry."

"I just want to know what you really think Kook. So I can be sure where you're at through this whole thing. The last few days have thrown a wrench at us with all the stuff your mom's been doing. But I'd still like to be in the loop of things."

"Yes, of course. I'm going to tell you everything right now okay?" Jungkook takes a breath. "I want to give you a baby so bad and I think I'm 70 percent there. But I'm also 60% not there because I'm terribly scared that once it happens, once we have a baby...that I'll revert back to my original mindset of not wanting one."

"Kook–"

"Hold on a second."

You close your mouth and allow him to continue.

"I've already started seeing and feeling being around kids differently than before. So much so that I think we could be happy if we started a family together because I'm so happy when I'm with you. And if there's anyone I could do that with, it'd be you and only you. So yes, I want us to have a baby, as many as you want, but I want to be 100% there first."

"Okay, that's fair. I'm not going to lie that I don't feel a little out of body from what you just said. Just to clarify, you're saying yes to how many babies?" You shine your eyes at him. "You said you want to give me as many babies as I want right? How many would that be?"

"My limit is yet to be determined." He grins at you. "It seems I might need to repeat some things if all you got out of what I just said is that I'll give you as many babies as you want."

"No, actually." You grip his hand. "I heard what you said and thank you. I feel a lot better knowing your thought process through this whole thing. We both need to be 100 % in before deciding on this next step in our lives. And about you being worried that you'll revert back to not wanting children. I'm no expert but I don't think that'll be true given your recent exposure with kids has made you feel better than worse. You said it yourself–you had a lot of good energy inside you tonight."

"True. You make an excellent point there. I think I still need some more time though. I was even thinking that maybe I'll....talk to Hoseok about this."

"I'm glad to hear that Kook. Hoseok is an amazing man and I know talking to him about all this will be nothing but beneficial for you."

"Thank you for being patient with me." Jungkook pulls you both down on the mattress, closing his eyes when his head hits the pillow.

"Same to you." You snuggle back into his chest. "I really hope we can have a family together."

"Me too," you hear him mumble before you close your own eyes.

A/N: Yup I told you this would be a long one. Ty for sticking with me! Also, what do you think? Was it a first date or not? LMK your thoughts 🥰

Masterlist

Taglist:

@frieschan @oldermenluverrr @tatamicc @kookswifesblog @llallaaa @sunnybyeol @namtaeh @exactlygreatcoffee @whipwhoops @yoongisducky @ktnj91 @junecat18 @thvlover7 @yoongiworshiper @ellesalazar @monbebe234-blog @parkinglot-nights @borahaexoxo @hobiswhore @kimseokjinbangtan @jjk97091 @mk-id @blueberry711 @givemethemaknaes16 @iammartian07 @jjkluver7 @itsdingdong @jiminshi20 @sweet-sourhotcoco @lubtou @lovingkoalaface @starsinsky1999 @rockstarrgyu @chaconnelatte @kaithezaftig @skzthinker @babystarcandylvr @glossyyyymin @siudema @justanotherkpopstanlol @jksjx

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

#jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook imagine #jungkook fanfic #bts smut #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts au #fic:toolatetodream #kookslastbutton

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cantareincminor · 2 months ago

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My SxF Writing

When I first got into Spy x Family I had no idea I would write so many fics for it! Keeping track of it has gotten a bit unwieldy so here is a masterlist.

Completed Works

Orpheus: 350K words, mole hunt arc canon divergence fic where Yuri is critically injured in the sewers, leading to catastrophic consequences for Twilight. The fic I'm proudest of, and the most personally meaningful.

From Ostania with Love: Orpheus universe, comedy fic where years later, Twilight and Yor watch a Hollywood movie about themselves.

In the Sunlight: Orpheus universe, one-shot where Twilight and Yor recover their intimacy after the traumatic events near the end of Orpheus.

Form: My first fic in the SxF fandom! An identity reveal one-shot on how Twilight and Yor view each other before and after their truths come to light.

Tummy Troubles: Crack fic where Twilight embarrasses himself in the worst way in front of his cover family, only to find he is loved and accepted regardless.

Every Stitch a Memory: One-shot where Loid intends to donate Anya's old clothes, unintentionally evoking sad memories for Yor and bringing her conflicted feelings about her "fake" husband to the surface.

Not With A Bang: Sequel one-shot to Every Stitch a Memory where Twilight and Yor come clean to each other.

Air: AU one-shot (for now?) where Twilight and Thorn Princess meet on the job.

Heaven’s Knife: One-shot for Twiyor Fluff Weekend 2024. Yor and Loid attend Camilla’s wedding pre-reveal, and experience a series of firsts.

WIPs

Yesterday's Enemy is Today's Girlfriend: Orpheus universe, Franky/Chloe fic where the former informant and SSS agent get to know each other and settle in Westalis.

The Magical and the Mundane: Orpheus universe, TwiYor pregnancy fic told from Yor's POV.

Forever Family: Serious and somewhat dark fic about Anya's previous adoptive families and orphanages.

What Friends are For: Crack fic where Twilight begrudgingly helps Franky learn how to date by disguising himself as an attractive woman.

21 Eden Street: Collab with the amazing @unhappy-sometimes! Crack fic where Twilight and Franky go undercover as students at Eden to infiltrate a drug ring.

Discarded Snippets

Orpheus original opening scene

Orpheus Ch. 14: Twilight and Sylvia conversation

Orpheus Ch. 20: Twilight picks up Anya and Yor

Orpheus Ch. 29: Happier chapter ending

Fanart

Orpheus Ch. 3: Ghosts by @hazardous-lightdas12

Orpheus Ch. 4: Twilight hugs Bond by @aerequets

Orpheus Ch. 32: Liars and Killers by @unhappy-sometimes

Orpheus Ch. 48: "Elegant" by @roucaelum-art

Yesterday's Enemy is Today's Girlfriend Ch. 15: Franky's mother by @juuyeah

What Friends are For: Gisela by @hazardous-lightdas12

21 Eden Street Cover Art by @unhappy-sometimes

#spy x family #writing #fanfic #twiyor #yor forger #loid forger #orpheus #agent twilight #anya forger

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buckets-and-trees · 2 months ago

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Chosen, Part 4: Semantics

Characters/Pairings: eventual Bucky x curvy Millennial Female!Reader, Natasha Romanoff, Yelena Belova Word Count: 3.4k Summary: The interviews are over. The tour has been completed. You've made your decision. You accepted the position and will sign the contract. You're about to learn what that truly means.

SERIES Content Warnings: SOFT!DARK STORY, cult themes, explicit smut, dubious consent and enthusiastic consent, veiled truths, gaslighting, sleeping drugs

CHAPTER Content Warnings: unknown use of organic sleep enhancers, manipulation, gaslighting, cult themes, entrapment, coercion

Notes: No notes, just tiny bits of information trickling in...

Previous: Consideration | Series List

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

You wake up at the sound of a familiar knock, and Yelena bursts in as you blearily sit up, blinking your eyes open and stretching your limbs.

She sweeps into the room, her blonde hair released from its earlier braid and bouncing with each energetic step. "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!" she chirps, her voice full of excitement. "We've got a big night ahead!"

As your eyes adjust to the soft light, you notice she's not alone. Behind her, a staff member in crisp white uniform wheels in an ornate silver cart.

"I thought you might be hungry after your nap," Yelena says, gesturing to the cart. "We've prepared a little pre-event snack for you."

The staff member lifts the dome cover, revealing an elaborate charcuterie board that would make any food stylist weep with envy. The tantalizing aroma of various cheeses and cured meats wafts through the air, making your stomach rumble from the smell alone. It's a veritable work of art, with an array of cured meats arranged in delicate rosettes, an assortment of cheeses ranging from creamy bries to pungent blues, chunks of bread, crackers, and a rainbow of fresh and dried fruits from figs to strawberries, along with jams and some honey.

You chuckle. “Who in the world is going to eat all this?” you ask.

Yelena laughs, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Oh, I plan to make a good dent in this myself, but you can have what’s left."

She turns to the staff member, thanking them warmly before dismissing them with a nod. As the door closes behind them, Yelena claps her hands together. "Now, let's start getting you ready for the evening!"

With a bounce in her step, Yelena heads towards the bathroom. "I'm going to draw you a bath," she calls over her shoulder. "Trust me, you'll want to be thoroughly relaxed for tonight."

Since you do feel the post-nap hunger, you snatch a few morsels from the charcuterie board as you hear the sound of rushing water begin to fill the tub.

After satisfying the edge, you pluck off a couple of pieces of fruit and pad into the bathroom. Your breath catches once again at the sight. In the soft light, the emerald green marble and tile surfaces give off a radiant warmth. They’re accented with golden fixtures that gleam, their sleek lines contrasting beautifully with the organic swirls of the marble. The large soaking tub is already half full, and you can see wisps of steam rising from the water's surface.

Yelena is bent over the tub, swirling her hand through the water. As you enter, she looks up with a grin. "I've added some special oils to the bath," she says. "They'll help you relax and prepare for the evening."

The scent wafting from the tub is intoxicating - a blend of rose, jasmine, and something deeper and more exotic that you can't quite place. It makes your head swim pleasantly.

"Go on, get in," Yelena urges, standing up and grabbing a fluffy white towel from a nearby rack.

You hesitate for a moment, suddenly self-conscious. Yelena seems to sense your discomfort and gives you a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I'm not staying. I just volunteered to get you in the bath and steal some of the divine charcuterie while Natasha was still trying to wrap up. She’ll be here soon." With that, she sets the fluffy towel next to the tub, and exits the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

“I’m taking all the brie with me,” she calls back through the door and you laugh.

Alone now, you slowly undress, letting your clothes fall to the cool tile floor. The steam from the bath envelops you, carrying that intoxicating scent. You step into the tub, and as you slip into the water, you can't help but let out a contented sigh. The temperature is perfect, and the oils seem to caress your skin, instantly melting away any lingering tension from the day.

There’s a panel for controlling the light and music in the bathroom within easy reach. You put on one of the more mellow artists and hum in contentment, reclining against the back of the tub. You close your eyes, surrendering to the warmth and the gentle lapping of the water against your skin. The soft music blends with the steam, creating a cocoon of tranquility around you. The scent of the oils seems to deepen, weaving tendrils of relaxation through your mind and body.

As you float in this state of blissful semi-consciousness, your thoughts drift and swirl like the wisps of steam above the water. Images from the day flash behind your closed eyelids - the grand tour, the mysterious conversations, the moment you sealed your fate by accepting the position. But these thoughts don't bring anxiety or tension. Instead, they feel distant and dreamlike, as if you're watching scenes from someone else's life.

At some point you fall asleep again because you’re jolted back awake when someone squeezes your hand.

It’s Natasha, knelt beside the tub, and you contract immediately to hug your knees to your chest, heat flooding your face and your stomach, trying to scrap at some level of modesty in your naked state. The water has cooled slightly, but it's still comfortably warm.

Natasha's expression is gentle, but laced with something you can’t quite put your finger on. "Don't worry," she says softly, "there's nothing to be embarrassed about. We're all just bodies, after all."

You nod, still feeling flustered but trying to relax. It’s easy for her to say something like that, but you’re fully aware of your flaws and what you think are your flaws. You do think she genuinely means it - that she holds no poor judgment of the way you look - and that does more to quell your insecurities than anything else.

"I'm sorry I startled you," Natasha continues. She cups your cheek, and it’s so unexpected it disarms you for a moment. "I knocked, but you must have been deeply asleep."

But before you can think more of her hand on your face, she stands gracefully, reaching for the fluffy towel Yelena had left earlier. "It's time to get you ready for the evening," she says, holding the towel open for you. "We don't want to be late."

You hesitate for a moment, then take a deep breath and stand up, water cascading off your body. Natasha wraps the towel around you without any hesitation before turning and striding out of the room without another word.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep in the tub," you mumble, feeling a bit embarrassed.

Natasha chuckles softly, pulling some papers out of her briefcase on the table - undoubtedly your employment contract. "It's quite alright. You had quite a long day, but those bath oils tend to have that effect.. How do you feel?"

You pause, taking stock of your body. Despite the initial shock of waking, you feel surprisingly refreshed and relaxed. "Good," you say. "Really good, actually."

“Excellent. Now let’s get you ready,” she says, gesturing to a vanity with a guilded mirror. She’s already moved the charcuterie board there next to it. “I’ll take care of your hair and make up while you read over the contract. I can answer any questions, and then you can sign.”

You wonder if you should search the closet for a robe, but Natasha is looking at you expectantly, so you tuck the towel more securely around your chest and hurry to take your seat in front of her.

The next hour passes in a whirlwind of activity and conversation as you review the document while Natasha sets to work on you. Her fingers move deftly, with skill and precision whether concentrating on your face or your hair.

The contract before you is extensive, expounding on your role, basic responsibilities, and the various benefits of working for the Winged Heritage Foundation. There is not as much detail as you would like in relation to these aspects of the contract, but you imagine it’s partly to do with not wanting sensitive details in a hard copy and partly because the nature of your working responsibilities may shift as you work personally with the founder and how he best sees you fulfilling the needs that may come up.

As you read, Natasha answers your questions with patience and clarity.

"What exactly does 'confidentiality extends beyond standard business practices' mean?" you ask, pointing to a clause that catches your eye.

Natasha pauses in her work, meeting your gaze in the mirror. "It means that some of what you'll learn and experience here goes beyond what you might consider typical corporate secrets. We deal with sensitive information that could have far-reaching consequences if it fell into the wrong hands."

You nod slowly, processing this insight. The vagueness of her answer doesn't escape you, but you're beginning to understand and accept that ambiguity is part of the Foundation's nature.

However, there are sections that are covered in the sort of detail that you would expect. The salary and benefits are perfectly outlined, including the wardrobe allowance, dental and healthcare, and investment options. There are sections about the housing benefit, travel expectations, and even a clause about potential relocation if necessary.

"Relocation?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.

Natasha meets your eyes in the mirror again. "We have facilities in various locations around the world. While it's not common, there may be occasions where your presence is required elsewhere for extended periods if there are affairs Mr. Barnes needs to tend to."

You nod, feeling a mix of excitement and trepidation at the prospect. The idea of travel is appealing, but the thought of being sent away to who knows where is less so.

You continue reading, occasionally asking for clarification on certain points.

As you near the end of the contract, Natasha puts the finishing touches on your hair and makeup. "There," she says, stepping back to admire her work. "Take a look."

You turn to the mirror and your breath catches. The person staring back at you is both familiar and strangely new. The makeup specifically is subtle yet transformative, enhancing your features in a way that makes you look almost otherworldly.

"Whoa," you breathe, turning your head to see yourself from different angles.

Natasha smiles, clearly pleased with her handiwork. "Perfect," she praises, directly meeting your eyes in the reflection of the mirror, and you drop your gaze as your stomach flutters unexpectedly.

“You ready to sign that thing?” she asks, and offers a pen over your shoulder.

With a deep breath, you take the pen and begin signing your name on the various pages, initialing where necessary. Natasha watches you intently, her expression unreadable.

As you finish signing the last page, she takes the contract from you and sets it aside. "Congratulations," she says with a smile. "You are now officially part of the Foundation."

"Thank you," you say sincerely, turning to face Natasha.

She nods, then reaches into her bag and pulls out a small black box.

"To celebrate your signing, I have a little gift for you," she says, holding out the box.

Curiosity piqued, you take the box and open it to find a sleek watch inside. "Wow," you say in awe, running your fingers over its smooth surface.

"It's tradition," Natasha explains. "All new members receive one as a symbol of our time together."

Your eyes flick to see a watch on her wrist. You brush your finger over the crystal face, noting that aside from the standard dial that tells the time, it has a few other subdials for date, day of the week, and the moon cycle. You smile gratefully at her before putting on the watch on your wrist. It feels like an official initiation into this secretive world.

“Thank you, again.”

Natasha shrugs one shoulder, but it’s more of a demure gesture than flippant. “It looks good on you.”

You glance at your wrist again, and smile. In the moment of quiet, you register the faint sounds of music, voices, and laughter drifting up from the grounds below, and you look up to notice that one of the windows has been cracked open. A small rush of anticipation surges through you, and you look back to Natasha.

She’s setting another case on the vanity, and opens it to reveal an exquisite crown of iridescent blue flowers - and you remember seeing them earlier in the day as you toured the gardens. Luna’s Tears.

“This is for you to wear tonight,” she says, tracing her fingers delicately over the blooms.

It’s gorgeous, but you frown. “Is that - will everyone -”

“No,” she shakes her head. “Only for you during the ritual, as you are our tribute.”

Your laugh bubbles out, half sarcastic, half nervous. “What, like a sacrifice?”

“Yes and no,” she responds easily. “Technically a sacrifice is something of great personal value you give of yourself, whereas an offering is merely a gift. So I will be offering you up, but you will be sacrificing yourself.”

Your jaw drops. “Sorry, what?” you exclaim.

And suddenly one word is resounding in your head.

Cult. Cult. Cult.

“During the full moon ritual tonight.”

Cult. Cult. Cult.

“No.” You shake your head. “No.”

“At midnight, you will be presented as a tribute on the altar to our founder, James Buchanan Barnes. Sacrifice for you, offering from us.”

“I’m not interested in the semantics of your cult!” You stand and start backing away from the redhead, who seems completely unfazed by your reaction.

“You’re not interested,” she agrees, “you’re fascinated.”

Cult. Cult. Cult. Cult. Cult.

You shake your head, your chest tightening. She’s not wrong, but she’s not right.

Cult. Cult.

Natasha takes a step toward you, cautious the way one approaches a spooked animal to soothe it.

“But I’m not a virgin!” you protest.

You are acutely aware that you’re still only in a towel as she moves closer.

“That’s archaic rhetoric, actually. We only need an offering who isn’t corrupt.”

Cult. Cult. Cult.

“You can’t do this! And you can’t keep me here!”

“Technically that’s true, but I think you may want to review the terms and conditions of your contract before you make any rash decisions.”

And with that advice, she pauses her pursuit, and waves you back over to the vanity where you left the contract.

You hesitate for a moment, unsure of whether it’s a trap, but you realize this is all a trap, and now you need to know what mistake you made in signing and rush back across the room, clutching the towel to keep it securely around you. You hastily flip to the final page with the terms and conditions and start at the top.

It spells out that you’re an at-will employee, so you or the Foundation can terminate your employment with or without cause, at any point, with or without notice.

“This will be a valuable lesson in the importance of being concerned with details and semantics. The item that will make you more amenable to fulfilling your contract is number eight - financial recoupment.”

You hold your breath, eyes darting down the page until you see the bold numeral eight and its subject - FINANCIAL RECOUPMENT.

If the employee terminates this contract within the first twelve months or fails to adhere to the agreements herein, the employee will be responsible for reimbursing the Winged Heritage Foundation for all costs incurred for employment on their behalf, salary and healthcare costs excluded.

You tentatively exhale. “Great, I’ll give back the watch, and you can let me go.”

The huff of Natasha’s laugh hits your bare shoulder, and you spin around. She had moved to stand directly being you in complete silence. You back up, bumping up against the edge of the vanity, clutching at the towel again.

“The watch was a gift, so I won’t take offense, but let’s start with the private car service we arranged to bring you here this morning. Including the tip, it would be an uncomfortable stretch for you to shell out three hundred dollars for that cost, but that’s only the first drop in the deluge. We know your finances from top to bottom because we had our recruitment team working up a comprehensive background file on you for a full week. I’ll pull the specific report on the billable hours anyone who worked on your case spent. Add to that our business lunch on the terrace and the afternoon tea service. I’ll exclude the charcuterie board because that was just a thoughtful gesture after you accepted the position.”

Your eyes start to well with tears as the amounts pile up in a heap you know you can not afford.

“Then, of course, we decorated and refurnished these living quarters for your immediate habitation, and the closet was fully outfitted with all wardrobe aspects, shoes, and accessories.”

Your mind reels as you try to process the staggering sum you'd be responsible for. The luxurious room, the designer clothes in the closet, even the bath oils and cosmetics- it all takes on a sinister new light. You feel sick as you realize how thoroughly they've ensnared you.

"How… how much?" you manage to choke out.

Natasha's lips curve into a small, satisfied smile. "Let's just say it's well into six figures. Far more than you could hope to repay anytime soon."

You slump against the vanity, your legs suddenly weak. The towel slips, but you barely notice. "This can't be happening," you whisper.

"Oh, but it is," Natasha says, her voice soft but firm. She puts a her hand on your shoulder, a gesture that would be comforting in other circumstances, but not now.

"I understand this is overwhelming,” she pivots, her voice almost sympathetic. “But remember, you sought us out. You pursued this opportunity aggressively and enthusiastically. Four interviews and now, here you are."

You shake your head, desperately trying to clear it. "But I didn't know… I mean, I never agreed to…"

"Didn't you?" Natasha interrupts gently. "We've been quite open about our unconventional nature from the start. You were intrigued by the mystery, drawn to the power, prestige, and opportunity. I said you would be working directly with our founder. And now you're balking at the reality?"

Her words sting because there's truth in them. You had been fascinated, had pushed to be the most competitive and attractive candidate you could, wanting them to select you, despite the questions and uncertainty.

"But I didn't know it was a cult," you protest, your voice cracking. "I didn't agree to be sacrificed."

Natasha sighs, her hand still on your shoulder. "We're not a cult, we're a select group with shared values and goals. And as I explained, you're not being sacrificed in the way you're imagining. This is an honor, a chance to be part of something greater."

You close your eyes, trying to steady your breathing. Natasha's hand remains on your shoulder, her thumb tracing small circles just below your collar bone. Despite everything, her touch is oddly comforting.

"This is a lot to process," she says softly. "But I meant what I said earlier - I have a good feeling about you. You're here for a reason."

You open your eyes and meet her gaze. There's a warmth there, an understanding that catches you off guard.

"What will happen to me?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Nothing you won't enjoy, I promise. The ritual is intense, yes, but it's also beautiful. Transformative. You'll be giving yourself over to something greater, becoming part of our us in the deepest sense."

You take a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself. "What exactly will happen to me?" you press.

Natasha's expression softens slightly. "You'll be presented to our founder, James Barnes. He'll decide if you're worthy to join our inner circle. If you are, you'll be initiated. If not..." she trails off, leaving the alternative unspoken.

You know you don’t have a choice, but you take in one, two deep breaths, before you answer.

“Okay,” you agree, resigned to your fate.

“There’s the answer we all want,” she replies.

NEXT PART: PREPARATION

Sorry for the delay of chapter! I'd left my laptop at work, so I didn't have access to posting the chapter.

Thoughts? Theories? Reactions to a pretty big revelation?

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

#bucky barnes x you #natasha romanoff #bucky barnes x reader #yelena belova #female reader #curvy reader #aspen wrote something #chosen au

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zerosconsort · 1 month ago

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Zero's Fic Binding - Thrust Issues

Thrust Issues by @sineala

Fandom: Marvel (Comics)

Ship: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Start Date: 3/31/24

End Date: 4/11/24

Pages: 314

Oh sweet Thrust Issues. Look at this cover. This was another one that I knew INSTANTLY what I wanted to do. Only had a few sections of the vinyl fight with me here, and I learned how adding to much glue when I'm making the casing can bleed through the book cloth and stain it. Ugh.

Name of the game for this bind was: Simply bold. Clean lines, consistent headers, nothing TO much. It was a challenge to see how quickly I could get the book set and bound. The answer is a week and a half.

Ugh the spine - she's also beautiful. This was also the first time i uses substantial davy board for the cover - so this is my first book with that lovely groove on the cover.

The inside pages are also simple - heavy on the lines lines lines, and one of my favorite actual lines from the fic. My end paper that you can just see here is VERY boring - what I had in my craft stock. Reminder to myself: Next version? Make your own end papers.

Typeset! Also simple. The headers build out a heart, with each chapter stacking more and more lines. Kept the stutter text like on the cover for the chapter names, pulled out the numbers and made the drop caps OVERSIZED. Simple, clean, statements that don't distract from this fucking masterwork of idiots-to-lovers fic.

Last shot I have is of the butt. This is the last time I used pre-made headbands. Also shows how loose the casing was - that gap between the spines? HUGE. A CAVERN. AND I didn't trim the pages. I was to afraid after I had FUCKED up All thats said's pages.

All in all, this I think that this bind was a tipping point. Having property sized cover boards really did it, and seeing how quick I could bind a fic was also helpful.

Thrust Issues is a peace of angsty art - and, In my opinion, a necessary Stony read. Sineala is a huge inspiration - one of my gateway Stony authors, and happened to be the one to point me toward better resources to bind books. Her kindness, creativity, and patience knows no bounds - and I'm happy that she was so open and kind with allowing me to transform her work. Go follow her and follow her and read her stuff.

Pssssst, also - if you wanted one of my binds for yourself, I'm participating in MTH this year and would be happy to make one for you!

#ficbinding #stony #steve/tony #zeros fic binding #steve rogers/tony stark #2024 bind #bookbinding #mcu #stevetony #fanbinding #typesetting

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voxofthevoid · 7 days ago

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Anniversary Poll 2: The Unfucking

Made the poll one day instead of one week in the OG post. Bad idea. I know my followers' habits, for one, and for another, there's no need to hurry for January plans. Here, the text of the original post reproduced:

So, it’s my two-year anniversary in the JJK fandom—specifically, writing for JJK. On 19th November 2022, around two weeks after finishing the anime and then devouring the manga in an uncharacteristic frenzy, I snapped further and wrote 2517 words for (you’ll whisper, serpent tongue) what you fear you have become.

I have, somehow, not gotten any less insane about JJK! I don’t know if I’ll make a whole third year here; that’s only happened with one fandom—the MCU. Regardless, two years is still more than I figured I’d spend here. My average length of stay is one year, barely. But between canon gripping me by the balls and my readers being absolute gems, here I fucking am ✨

Anyway, I’m not doing anything insane to celebrate, mostly because my usual method of letting y'all pick what I should write next won’t work when my current WIP is 80k and only halfway done. Instead, here’s a poll for which fic I should start posting next, once a slot in my current six-fic system frees up—specifically, your resistance, prophetic self-destruction will be done in December. I did have plans for what I’d post in its slot afterward, but let’s forget that.

You pick.

Unlike the last similar poll, I’ve included all my fics this time, not just the longfics. My fem!Gojou fic isn’t included because I intend to post it in December. That other train groping fic with age reversal is also not in the poll because I still may revisit that and add the remaining planned chapters.

Fic titles and one-line summaries are given under the cut, in the same order as in the poll:

your body language on me tells me to be unholy

How not to take your teenage student’s virginity, a live demonstration by Gojou Satoru.

i could keep your bed warm, otherwise i'm useless

There's a fine line between gods and monsters. The line between a monster's malice and a god's love is even finer. Yuuji learns this twice over.

break my patience, corrupt my sacred art

Gojou comes home drunk and proceeds to wage war on Yuuji’s sanity and dick.

the ghost in me was true (but you were haunted too)

Satoru loves a boy to death. Yuuji comes back wrong.

taking the flesh is the only virtue

Stress and trauma trigger Yuuji’s rut a few years too early. Kento’s too kind for his own good, while Satoru’s too curious for anyone’s good.

bloodstains on the collar means just don't ask

Yuuji has a type. Unfortunately, his uncle and his teacher embody that type.

the brute fact of flesh awaiting our teeth

Satoru embarks on a quest to seduce her hot giant of a teacher and continuously bites off more than she can chew.

(the euphoric taste of your tears) swallow it, darling

Yuuji is an unconventional teacher. Satoru still learns, for better or for worse.

#goyuu #nanaita #sukuita #poll #jjk #my fic

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okanra · 9 months ago

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FEW FUN BEHIND-THE-SCENES STUFF I DID FOR “THE UNSPOKEN” WEBCOMIC SERIES (still ongoing, of course)

So I’m migrating some of the (public version of) pre-production stuff I did in 2021-2023 for THE UNSPOKEN webcomic (back when it still had the old name “Trunks and Goten in High School AU”) here, since X/Twitter apparently annihilated the old Moment feature for real. These are mostly research stuff, some warm up doodles and inspiring sountrack playlists I did before a chapter or a story got made. I usually do a lot of research offline before working on any creative project, that’s why sometimes it feels like there’s so many information gets jammed into one chapter: it was mostly to make do for all the time that I didn’t get to, or wouldn’t be able to work on the comics.

Will add in the chapters along side the information paper for clearer understanding ✌️

———————————————

1. The warm-up expression practice sheet (or doodles, in my case) of Son Goten and Trunks in my webcomic series (late 2022 or early 2023):

Since the idea in mind for these two in the webcomic was to be more “mature, human-like” than the original manga version to fit with the narrative I want to tell and aim at the older demographic, practices are needed :p

2. The Martial Arts techniques research information papers - Chapter 2 and 3 aka “The Spar” 1 & “The Spar” 2 (2021-2022):

A. Goten’s techniques:

B. Trunks’s techniques:

This research about martial arts techniques was actually very fun to do due to martial arts and cultural aspects are being two of the things I enjoy the most in life. That’s probably parts of the reasons why I went back to Dragon Ball in 2020: motorbikes, martial arts and mixed races culture.

Back then I did plan on sharing my research to everyone in the form of little fun art lessons, so there were interesting tweets like this or this. Later I decided to share this somewhere else more private (like my Patreon community) since I realized pre-production researches (or something akin to visual developments) are not that well-liked for most online viewers even though it’s a very much needed process in a creative project 🤔

This martial art concept is one of the actual main themes throughout the whole webcomic series, not really the (super duper gay) b-romance relationship between Son Goten and Trunks, yes I’m very sorryyyyyyy I like them too but I like worldbuilding more lmaoooo :p

3. The brief character design sheet and Chinese-influenced culture research information papers - Chapter 4: “The Iron Woman” and Chapter 5: “Her Resolution, His Origin” (mid-2022 until now and will be continued):

A. Character Design brief sheet:

B. Culture research stuff:

The hilarious thing about researching for these chapters are: Back when “The Iron Woman” was being made, the research limited at reading articles and some books about Chinese cultures, and watching documentaries on Youtube. But when “Her Resolution, His Origin” was being made, the research tuned into a real life trip to China, to take real life reference photos and listening to real legends and stories.

This research for “Her Resolution, His Origin” will be posted to Patreon later, of course ✌️

4. The Original Comic introduction and comeback announcements in mid-2022:

I must have eaten some edibles while drawing this because the boys look so good here. Goten looks so good, I even made him the profile picture for my Patreon account lmao.

5. Soundtrack playlists for inspirations (2021 - now): always the cherry on top. I listen to these playlists everytime I work on the series.

A. Duo playlist for chapters featuring both main characters: link

B. Character playlist for chapters focusing on single character, or anything related to that character: link

———————————————

All in all, posts like this are for people who like to see what’s beneath the surface when working on a creative project. I completely guarantee you, what you’ve seen on this blog are just the tips of the ice berg 🤫

Def not a PR, but my Patreon has lots of this lmao. Half joking half serious, there’s even a “non-posted” comic up there too and many other things. I’m just stating facts.

That aside, I’m just really happy to be able to work on this webcomic. THE UNSPOKEN webcomic series has always been a long-term indie project, not a daily content so I hope the readers who like and follow this series would stay tuned for more ✌️

———————————————

For easier reading, you can either follow the links that are included above, or just read this Tapas updated version.

#the unspoken webcomic #truten in high school au #my art #my comic #dragon ball #goten #son goten #trunks #kid trunks #dbz #dragon ball z #chichi #son gohan #martial arts #researching is fun and is also my hobby #but honestly i’m just happy drawing comics

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fatherrussia-69 · 12 days ago

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「《Happy Birthday Father R and Updates!》」

Hey Hey! Sorry for the absences, if you've been keeping up with all the updates, you'll know that we've been pretty busy this year and haven't been able to write. o(*￣▽￣*)ブ Yeahhh, School's just been eating up me and Editor T's schedules. 😩🤧 We've tried finding a good schedule for Father R to write without him getting burnt out and for me and Henchman A to be available to edit, pre-read and add our authornotes, but it's been proving to be difficult. That's why we've just settled for the goal of getting at least 2-3 chapters posted per month. It's not as many as it used to be last year, but working on the weekends seem to be the only saving grace. (￣▽￣)" There's a break coming up for Thanksgiving, so we're going to double-timing that week to try and get things posted. I cannot assure anyone that we'll get a chapter posted, but we'll have definitely made progress. I've also made a bit of a routine when it comes to writing to avoid Writer's block, and I'm proud to say Chapter 61 of SSATW is about 78% ready for posting. RAD Chapter 4 is about 64% but that's only because I haven't figured out the skeletal structure of the chapter yet- ヾ(≧ ▽ ≦)�� Anyways, Now that Updates are out of the way, HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY BIG GUY!!! 🥳🎉🎊🎂 Happy Birthday Father R, and thank you @thegenderfluidace for surprising him with this drawing this morning. Hearing him screech in joy was one wake to wake up. Sorry about that- But truthfully, Thank you so much Ace for the drawing!!! Your art is amazing, and whether or not you were able to finish the drawing doesn't ruin the surprise in the slightest. q(≧▽≦q) As per tradition, we went bowling on his birthday and God Damn- 😀💀 I got first place, which isn't surprising. Gutter, after Gutter, After Gutter- ...( ＿＿)ノ｜

Ask me how this man got outdone by the NPC (accidentally added another slot so we all just randomly rolled balls down the lane). 🤧🤣 I had a rebirth on my skill tree okay? (┬┬﹏┬┬) You only had 23 points. Everyone else was above 50- Couldn't be me. 🤪😘 Just wait till next year. o(一︿一+)o Anyways, we'll see you guys pretty soon, we have some questions in our Inbox and although the Q&A has long since ended, we will answer a few of them when we can! If you guys have any questions or just want to chat with us, don't be afraid to drop by our inbox and say hello! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) ALSO WE REACHED 108 FOLLOWERS ON TUMBLR!! YOU GUYS ARE ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AMAZING!!!! 😍🤩😖

#ao3 author #fnaf moon #fnaf sun #fnaf au #fnaf sb #ao3 fanfic #read on ao3 #happy birthday father r #happy birthday #birthday #update #quick update #we love you guys #you guys are the best #11/13/24

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porcelainseashore · 11 months ago

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Teenage Headache Dreams (4)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: High School! College! Leon Kennedy x Dancer! Fem! Reader

Summary: You’re a bored, but ambitious high school student who can’t wait to escape small town life and make it in the big city. You thought you had it all figured out, until you unwittingly befriend the resident golden boy, Leon. A series of events beginning from junior year to college until Resident Evil 2 Remake.

Warnings: 18+ Swearing, Recreational Drug Use, Eventual Smut, No (Y/N), Ambiguous/Open Ending

Content: High School AU, College AU, Pre-Resident Evil 2, Fluff, Romance, Cliche, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Lack of Communication

Author's Note: Things get heated in both senses of the word… I toned it down here, but the final chapter will go further 😉 I have to say this chapter was a bit of an unruly beast, but I hope it worked out in the end. Expect some angst and as usual, fluff.

AO3 Link

Chapter 4: Different Dreams

Since that wintry night in February which left you reeling from having kissed your best friend, you never found the opportunity to speak with him on where you both stood. Things just kept getting in the way: preparing for junior year finals, college admission tests, then summer placements and so on. To be fair, you weren’t exactly keen on confronting the question either, since you still weren’t sure whether you and Leon would be in the same place after graduating from high school. You had long since crossed the river of denial and you liked him a lot, but you were selfish. If you had to choose between a relationship with him and Tisch School of the Arts, the one college you had always dreamed of going to since you were young, you knew you’d pick the latter in a heartbeat. And that fucked you up. You couldn’t help but feel guilty each time he tried to broach the subject of “that night”, and when you brushed him off, he didn’t get upset or push it. He just waited patiently as ever, with a hopeful look in his eyes, that someday you’d be ready to talk.

Maybe it was just better to remain as friends. That said, you were there for him as one. You supported him, teasing through the countless college possibilities he had swimming around in his mind, after he returned from the school’s career counselor. When the local police force had come round to give one of their recruitment talks, he seemed to have taken an interest in their work. In particular, their speech about directly interacting with and helping civilians in times of need really resonated with him. Although you were wary about cops in general, questioning the punishment system and incidences of police brutality, you encouraged him to follow what felt right to him.

As you sat together with him on his bed, littered with a bunch of police academy brochures that were sprawled across the covers, he went through the reasons that led him to make this choice, and you began to connect the dots. “Remember when you said that I’m a good person?”

“Yeah?” You perked up.

“Well, I just wondered how I could be more of that,” he explained.

Did he feel like he needed to prove himself, just so he could believe in it? You were dying to tell him that he didn’t have to do all of this. That he was perfect the way he was. But sometimes people just needed to go through the motions themselves. This was his journey to make, so you bit back your tongue and listened.

“I want to help regular people, like you and me. Protecting the innocent, changing their lives for the better…” He stared into space for a while before continuing. “And what about all the unsolved cases? Those families deserve closure.”

You realized that closure from the past was something he never had.

“I mean, I just want to make a difference somehow,” he reiterated.

“Hm, that sounds stupid, doesn’t it?” He remarked sheepishly, constantly glancing at you for your opinion.

“No… no, not at all.” You shook your head, reassuring him sincerely. “Well, you know I don’t have the best impression of cops,” you laughed. “But that will change, with you.”

“You think so?” A slight smile formed at the corners of his mouth.

You leaned back against the mattress on your forearms and confirmed. “Hell, Leon. If there’s such a thing as a model police officer, I think you’re gonna be that.”

“There isn’t a single bad bone in your body.” You winked. “Not vouching for the lame ones though.”

“Gee, thanks.” He was blushing now as he twiddled his thumbs.

“I take it that you’re gonna enjoy helping old ladies cross the road?” You couldn’t resist teasing him when he looked like that.

“Sure, you know you can call on me anytime.” He smirked.

You forgot he had a knack for winding you up. “Fuck you, Leon!”

“Oh yeah?” He challenged, although you could tell from his expression that he was only half-kidding.

That stopped you in your tracks, as a mental image of you and Leon in various intimate positions formed in your mind. You swallowed hard, feeling a burning sensation of arousal surging within. Despite that, you shrugged off those thoughts and picked up one of the brochures lying in the pile to distract yourself. “So, you’re gonna visit the open house?”

You heard what sounded like a disheartened sigh before he replied, “Yeah I’d like to.” He turned to face you expectantly. “It’d be nice, if uh, you came along?”

“They’re all pretty nearby,” he added, trying to sweeten the deal. As if you needed convincing.

You rolled your eyes, exclaiming, “Even if it was a gazillion miles away, I’d still be there.”

Echoing his previous sentiment at the time he had supported you at your performance, you mentioned naively, “That’s what friends are for, right?”

When you caught him wincing and tightening up at the word “friends”, you realized the blunder you had made, but it was too late.

He stood up silently and made his way over to his desk, busying himself with a stack of papers.

That hand-wringing sensation of guilt started to swell in your chest again. You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Finally, you got up to leave. “Just let me know when, ok?”

He nodded his head in acknowledgement, without turning around to see you off. You walked out of his room with your eyes downcast, trying to console yourself that it was for the best. The police academies he had singled out weren’t even remotely near New York. There was no way it would work out. No way.

━━━━━━━━━━━

You accompanied Leon to the open houses that summer, as he got a good look around the various campuses, asking inquisitive questions and highlighting his athletic achievements, albeit rather humbly. After some nudging from you, he began to mention his academics too. You always held his intelligence in high regard, which you had noticed in class and during your study sessions, that were miraculously still going on despite his earlier reluctance. In your opinion, he would make a great detective, though he had tried to downplay it when you shared it with him.

In any case, you should’ve known that it never ends well when unresolved things are left to fester. So here you were, in your room this time, having the biggest argument you’ve ever encountered with Leon so far.

It all started when you were grabbing something quick from your shelf, before heading out with Leon for a walk along the surrounding forest trails, just so you could make the best use of the remaining summer days. He’d waited around the entrance to your room when something piqued his interest. Walking in, he pointed at a makeshift board lying by your bedside. “Jeez, what’s this? An evidence board or something?”

Whipping your head around, you laughed, “It’s to keep track of all the colleges I’m applying to, dumbass.”

Resting his fingers under his chin, he tilted his head and noted without hiding his disappointment, “They’re kinda far away.”

“And this one.” He pointed to the red circle in the middle. “That’s your dream school, huh?” At least he remembered. Not like you hadn’t been going on about it for ages.

“Yeah, since I was little.” You nodded, taking a couple of steps closer, till you joined Leon at his side. A moment of doubt set in, as you shrugged and chewed your lip nervously. “I don’t know if I’m good enough.”

“You’re more than good enough,” he stated simply, in a tone deeper than usual. It reverberated across the room as he eyed you intently.

“I’ve watched you-” He pulled you in close, wrapping an arm around your waist, which elicited a small gasp from your lips. “Perform.” His other hand trailed up to caress your cheek.

“Choreograph,” he continued, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Teach.” He smiled fondly at the memory of picking you up from class one day, as the little ballerinas you taught gathered around your legs quizzing, Miss, is that your boyfriend?

Meanwhile, it felt like your brain was malfunctioning, as you stood frozen on the spot, losing yourself in the pool of his ocean blue eyes, while he issued you compliment after compliment, finally finishing with, “You’re incredibly talented.”

Stroking his thumb gently over your bottom lip, his gaze followed suit, transfixed by its outline. Checking for any signs of discomfort on your face but finding none, he leaned in, planting his mouth on yours, as an involuntary moan escaped from your throat. No matter how much you tried to fight it, your body would not lie. It craved his touch, and all at once, you threw out the barriers you had placed between yourself and Leon in the past few months.

Sliding your hands up his chest, you parted your lips slightly to allow his tongue to slip inside. The kisses grew hungrier and more urgent as you tasted each other, causing you to stumble backwards onto your bed with him laying on top of you. You were so glad your parents were out, as the door to your bedroom was wide open and both of you weren’t exactly keeping very quiet about things. He peppered kisses along your neck, as his hands roamed across your body. Then his lips traveled downwards to your chest and you tangled your hands tightly in his hair, cursing his name in pleasure under your breath.

There were countless thoughts running through your head, like how fast you and Leon were going, and how badly you wanted him, but something was screaming inside of you about how wrong all of this was. You were just friends, right? You shouldn’t be leading him on like this.

With whatever resolve you had left, you tore yourself away and pushed him off you, stammering, “I’m sorry, I can’t!” You were shaking uncontrollably as Leon regarded you with a mixture of worry and confusion, panting heavily through his swollen, red lips.

“Wha-? Are you ok? Did I hurt you?” The questions came out like rapid fire.

“I-I’m fine.” You looked down in embarrassment as you adjusted your clothes.

“Then, what’s wrong?” His brows were knitted in distress, wondering if he had unknowingly crossed your boundaries.

“I just don’t think this is such a good idea,” you offered hesitantly.

Running his hand through the mess you had made of his silky blonde hair, he sighed, “Why? What about that night?” There it was again.

You bit your lip apprehensively. “We never followed up on that.”

As his face contorted in anguish, you knew that your time of delaying the inevitable had run out, and he wasn’t going to let it go now. “It was like you never wanted me to bring it up.” He began to raise his voice, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “I gave you months… Months!”

“It’s… complicated,” you whispered.

“How?” He asked, bristling with irritation.

“Well, for starters, we’re gonna be living miles apart by the time we finish high school.”

“You don’t know that,” he countered, crossing his arms firmly, as if shielding himself from being let down again.

“What do you mean?” You blurted out in bewilderment.

By now, he had gotten up and paced around your room restlessly. “You could… I don’t know, go to one of the bigger cities around here. I heard Chicago’s got a pretty good-”

You felt a flash of annoyance as you cut him off instantly. “You know I’ve wanted to go to Tisch my whole life!”

“I don’t understand you!” He choked, shaking his head furiously. “You’d travel miles with me to the academies, but you can’t even think of doing this long distance?”

He was grasping at straws to keep you, but you didn’t want to hurt him. You didn’t know if you were right for each other. In your mind, Leon was a bit of a homebody, judging by the college choices he had made. He needed someone who could provide him with stability and the white picket fence American dream. You couldn’t do that. You wanted to travel the world and live out new experiences.

As you hugged yourself wordlessly, unable to look at him, he softened, once again trying to reason things out. “I just thought… we mattered too.”

Your heart broke as he said that. You wanted nothing more than warmth and intimacy with him on this lazy Sunday, cuddling and trading affectionate kisses. But you couldn’t. “You do matter to me, Leon.”

“Then why do you keep pushing me away?” There was no more anger in his voice, only sadness.

He deserved an answer, and you would give him one. You just didn’t expect to be so inept at choosing how to express yourself. “We both have our own dreams,” you tried to explain. “They’ve just turned out to be very different.”

The next line came out a lot harsher than you intended. “I can’t have someone holding me back. I’m sorry.”

Before regret could even sink in, Leon had started to take his leave, his expression turning colder than ice. “No, I’m sorry for even trying,” he commented bitterly. “I’ll stop wasting your time.”

“Leon!” You called out after him, but he paid no attention and continued to walk off. “It came out wrong,” you pleaded. “That’s not what I meant!”

The last thing you heard was your front door slamming shut.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Over the next weeks when senior year started, you tried to reach out to Leon to no avail. He had become a distant shell of his former self. There was an air of aloofness each time you bumped into each other, as he pretended not to recognize you. All the notes you attempted to pass to him in class ended up crumpled and thrown into the bin without being read. You felt a stab to your gut every single time.

However, you were observant enough to make out the sting of hurt in his eyes when he thought you weren’t looking. You knew he was keeping you at an arm’s length to protect himself, but also partly to give you a taste of your own medicine, just like when you had foolishly dragged things on, hoping they would resolve themself without giving him an answer. Until it was too late. You hated him for being so immature and childish, but you held yourself responsible for starting it first.

Then, the rumors came. You saw him with that girl, Val?, again. They were doing the things you used to do together before the fallout. It made you sick to your stomach, but you said nothing. Maybe you deserved all of this, you thought.

“Lattes after class?” Kayla’s chirpy voice snapped you out of your reverie.

“Hm?” You weren’t really in the mood, but you tried your best to smile through it.

“They brought in the pumpkin spice ones early this season! Can you believe it?” She giggled excitedly, throwing her arm around your shoulder as she proceeded to whisper into your ear, “Come on, you and I need some girl-to-girl talk.”

As you made your way towards the cafe, you caught sight of Leon with his arm around Val on the other side of the street. Kayla wrinkled her nose at them, as she quickened her pace, pulling you along. “Smooth, real smooth, Kennedy,” she muttered under breath.

Whilst it was comforting to know you had someone who supported you through this - something which you didn’t expect, not least from Kayla - you were flung into the center of drama and gossip again.

Clink. Kayla placed both cups of coffee on the table as she sat down, adjusting her mini skirt before turning to face you attentively. “Spill it.”

You shrugged, glancing around awkwardly.

She tried prompting you at first, “Did he break up with you?” No answer.

“He did something stupid.” No answer.

“Oh my god, he cheated on you, didn’t he?” She accused melodramatically, such that a couple of customers in the cafe glowered over in displeasure at the noise.

You slapped a palm against your forehead and cringed. “Kayla, please.”

“Oops, sorry.”

You sighed, deciding that perhaps it would do some good to open up a little, instead of keeping things to yourself all the time. “It was me. I fucked up, ok?”

“Bullshit,” she scoffed. “It always takes two to tango.” She checked out her manicured nails for a second before continuing, “And even if he was the sweet angel as you claim he is, he sure is fucking it up spectacularly now.”

You raised an eyebrow. Strong choice of words. “Look, we were never really together. I mean, we did some things-” You paused, swallowing anxiously. “-friends don’t usually do.”

She gave you a knowing smirk, gesturing at you to continue.

“I told him…” At this, your voice cracked, “I didn’t want him, Kayla.” Your mouth quivered, as stray tears welled up in the corners of your eyes.

“Oh, babe,” she cooed. “But you do, don’t you?” She placed her hand over yours understandingly.

You weren’t used to crying, especially not out in the open like this. You pulled away from Kayla, wiping the tears away roughly with the back of your hand, as you straightened up and put on the same facade you always do. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s with Val-”

Immediately, Kayla scowled. “That girl has some nerve! I knew it,” she spat. “Always waiting in the sidelines to bag your man.”

“It’s not her fault!” You protested. As far as you were concerned, you and Leon hadn’t made any promises to each other. He was free to go out with whoever he wanted.

Kayla rolled her eyes, “I’m sure she couldn’t wait one hot minute.”

“If that’s the case, then Leon should’ve waited too, right?” You argued. If you had to go along with this warped way of reasoning with her, then so be it.

“Fair enough,” she conceded, though you could tell that she wasn’t exactly happy about the outcome, and you wanted to put a stop to whatever mean girl prank she had up her sleeve.

“I’m serious. Don’t,” you warned.

She threw up her hands in mock surrender. “Ok, Miss Party Pooper… I won’t do anything to her. I swear!”

━━━━━━━━━━━

It took you a while to realize what Kayla’s actual plan of action was. In her typical fashion, it was loud, flashy and drew the attention of the whole school. It happened during lunch break in one of the weeks following your girl talk. You had seated yourself with the rest of the cheer team at the cafeteria, when you saw her slam her cutlery down on the table, snarling, “That’s it. I’ve had enough of this shit!”

The rest of the girls including you stared at her in shock, as she stormed up to where the other sports teams usually sat. She made a beeline for the blonde boy whom you’d been moping about for most of the term now, situating herself between him and his latest flame. You couldn’t hear what she was saying, but it made Val scurry off, before she and Leon entered into some sort of shouting match. You only managed to make out bits and pieces of it.

“What the fuck’s your problem?”

“Let me guess, the classy rebound-” Slow clap.

“Stay out of it-”

“You’re the one causing trouble!”

The next minute, she pointed at you, motioning to come over. Leon’s eyes grew dark, giving you a withering glare as you walked towards them with a mix of reluctance and unease. You despised being singled out like this, but you needed to put an end to running away from your problems.

Once you had made your way over, Kayla, who was seemingly pretty satisfied herself, barked out an order, “You two, just sort it out! It’s driving me insane.”

When she left the table and the curious onlookers - which meant literally everyone in the cafeteria - had decided to resume back to whatever they were doing, you uttered the first words to Leon in a long time, “Well, that was awkward.”

“You don’t say.”

“Listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t know she would get like that,” you admitted.

He still held his guard up as he regarded you stoically. “So what did you want to talk about?”

You sighed, hoping you would do better this time. But there was just so much to say. Where to start? “I just wanted apologize for what I said that day,” you treaded cautiously. “I miss you, Leon.” You were getting glassy-eyed again, but you braved on. “And I still really care about you.”

His lips were pinched together as he considered your words. He had his reservations, but his hard gaze was slowly faltering. For a while, he didn’t respond. Just as you thought you had overstayed your welcome, he piped up almost inaudibly, “I care, too.”

You nodded in response and took your leave. You knew things would never be the same again, but this was enough for now.

━━━━━━━━━━━

The atmosphere between you and Leon remained tense, but at least it was amicable now. Apparently, Val was out of the picture. Nothing happened, they went on a date or two and Leon called it off. Well, that was what was going through the rumor mill anyway.

Still, it killed you inside, as it felt like you had lost a lover and a best friend. When you received your acceptance letter in December from Tisch, you didn’t even know whether to celebrate or not. Moreover, the one person you would have celebrated with was hardly in your life anymore. Kayla pushed you to tell Leon regardless, and you started to think maybe you had the wrong impression of some of your schoolmates after all. They did seem to look out for you, in their own weird way. It was like reading Pride and Prejudice all over again.

That’s what brought you in front of Leon’s front door, as you rang the doorbell in anticipation. You flinched as the door opened. The corridor was bathed in a warm, golden glow as the light filtered through the doorway, partly blocked by Leon, who peered out at you curiously. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you called out timidly. God, it was like you were strangers again. “Um, can I come in?”

“S-sure.” He held the door open for you, as you took in your surroundings. It had been months since you’d last visited, but nothing much had changed.

“So… what can I do for you?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. You weren’t used to this formal way of addressing each other. It gave you goosebumps.

“I thought it was only right to let you know,” you started. Your hands were trembling as you held out a thick white envelope towards Leon. “I-I got in.”

He took the envelope in his hands, frowning as he opened it. As he glanced over the papers, a spark of recognition shone in his eyes. “Oh! Uh-” He looked like he was at a loss for words as a wave of conflicting emotions washed over him. “Congratulations! I guess.”

“Thanks.” You nipped at your lip lightly, wondering if your next question would be appropriate. “Can I have a hug?”

For a fleeting instant, he looked like a deer in the headlights, but then he got a hold of himself. “Y-yeah.”

It took both of you a good minute to navigate your way into an embrace, so much so you nearly laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. But once you were in each other’s arms, you relaxed, breathing in his familiar scent that you grew to love. “I missed this,” he sighed blissfully into your hair. You deepened the embrace, pulling him closer to you.

“I guess I should also tell you…” He pressed his lips to the side of your forehead as he spoke, “I’m heading to the police academy in Springfield.”

Your heart leapt out of joy and ached with melancholy at the same time. “That’s fantastic! I’m so proud of you, Leon.”

“Mm, you always know how to make me feel…” his words faded off as he broke away from your arms, but held your gaze, as if asking, “What now?”

Maybe this was your chance for the heart-to-heart that was long overdue. And you grabbed it with both hands.

“I was scared,” you started. “I didn’t know how it could work out with the distance, maybe even performing internationally…” After a brief pause, you revealed, “I thought you wanted the suburban dream.”

“When did I ever say that?” He blurted out, with a look of shock plastered across his face.

You flinched, realizing that he had a point. He never mentioned wanting that. These doubts you had appeared to stem from your own fears projected onto him. “I-I thought…” You trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

“You could’ve asked me,” he replied, seemingly perturbed from the misunderstanding that occurred between the two of you. “I really wished we talked about this.”

Your eyes dropped to the ground, as you felt a heavy weight in your chest. “I’m sorry, I just assumed it was the case.” At this, he grasped his forehead in his hands and sighed wearily.

This was all so stupid. But you needed to tell him exactly how you felt about him, especially after this wake-up call. “Leon, hear me out, please? When I lost you, I realized I was so caught up with running as far away as I could from this place, that I didn’t see how important being with you was to me.”

You forced down a lump in your throat as you continued, “You never held me back, I was wrong to say that.”

“I want you,” you confessed. “Always have.”

You felt completely exposed, as if every part of you was laid bare and open to scrutiny. “I just had to let you know, even if you don’t feel the same way about me anymore.”

As you folded your arms to brace yourself for what would come next, Leon reached out and caressed your hair comfortingly. “I-” he paused. “If this is about Val, I’m sorry I did that,” he apologized. “I was hurt, and it wasn’t fair to either of you.”

Placing his fingers under your chin, he lifted it to bring you within eye contact. “However, I need you to stop guessing what you think I might want,” he stated firmly. “I can make my own decisions, ok?”

As you nodded in agreement, his gaze softened, and he took you within his arms again, cradling your head against his chest. “And… you haven’t lost me, but I need some time.” He sighed. “This was all just-”

At that moment, you were interrupted by his mom, who’d made her way in from the living room. “Gosh, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

You and Leon let go of each other self-consciously, as she spontaneously invited you to dinner with the family that evening, which had just been freshly cooked and served out on the dining table. As you shared in the laughter and light-hearted conversations together, you couldn’t help but feel a sliver of hope about your future with the boy sitting beside you.

━━━━━━━━━━━

Prom night was coming up. At least that was what Kayla kept reminding you. You still had a few months to prepare, but for her it was the most important social event of high school. No one had asked you out yet, and Kayla felt that wouldn’t do. Secretly, you wished Leon would have made a move by now, but maybe things were still too raw.

As you emptied out your locker, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Spinning around, you brushed up against one of the footballers you had hardly spoken with during your school years. He must have noticed the bemusement on your face, as he spoke first, “Wanna go to the prom with me?”

From afar, you heard a distant giggle and narrowed your eyes at the source. Kayla’s sly grin gave it away. She set the whole thing up. Why?

You glanced between her and the beefy guy in front of you. Clearly not your type. At all. “Uh…” you tried to stall, wondering how you were going to maneuver your way out of this situation.

Suddenly, a figure emerged from the side, snaking an arm around your waist, causing you to yelp in surprise. “She’s coming with me.” You’d recognize that voice anywhere.

Hm, this was getting interesting. Talk about Mr Knight in Shining Armor to the rescue.

Leon turned to face you. “Am I right?”

“Y-yeah, I’d like-,” you paused to recollect yourself. “I’m going with you,” you confirmed with a hint of shyness.

The footballer backed off, raising his hands in the air as he excused himself clumsily. “Sorry man, my bad. I didn’t know she was taken.” Leon was giving him the stink eye all the way through.

“You trying to make me jealous, baby?”

Baby? You gulped. What the hell has gotten into him? You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. But his arm was still resting on your waist with no intention of letting go anytime soon.

You saw Kayla shrug and dust her hands, before sashaying away. You had to hand it to her though. Fucking mastermind genius.

“Well, you never asked.”

“I did now,” he retorted smugly.

Ok, so you were back to bantering. Guess you could deal. But it still didn’t answer the question on where you stood with him. Had he finalized his thoughts since that talk you had?

“Leon,” you sighed. “Is this your way of saying you’d like to make things official?”

“Sorry about that. I was kinda put on the spot,” he admitted bashfully, as if he had been caught doing something wrong and now had a tail between his legs.

“But yeah, I want to,” he professed. “Do you?” He stared at you, swallowing nervously. “I mean, would you like to be my, uh- girlfriend?”

You gave him a coy smile, copying one of his previous lines in response. “Sure, I suck at it. So why not?”

“Never know till you try.” He beamed in return, unable to conceal the sheer look of happiness on his face any longer. “Guess we can figure out the rest along the way.”

“Uh huh.” You glanced around, all of a sudden painfully aware that you both were having this conversation in full public view. Although the other students were pretending not to pay attention, you knew they had seen and overheard everything.

A hot flush rose to your face. It didn’t seem to deter Leon as he tugged you closer with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. You had an inkling of what was about to unfold, but you chose to embrace it.

“Let’s give them a show, shall we?” He smirked, and with that, his lips collided into yours, as you made out against the lockers, oblivious to the world around you.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy smut #high school au #college au #re2 leon #re2 remake #resident evil 2 #resident evil #fic: teenage headache dreams #porcelainscribbles

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